madzimai corner: conjugal rights

CONJUGAL RIGHTS

Definition The sexual rights or privileges implied by and involved in the marriage relationship: the right for sexual intercourse between husband and wife.

What does the Bible say about depriving your spouse?

The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but to her husband, in the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Sex is not about restoring or preserving a sense of self worthy. It’s about celebrating their worth in a context of unity. And unity doesn’t mean always wanting sex at the same time, it means finding a rhythm in your sex lives that both spouses can enjoy, where neither feels emptied. And if that’s not happening , if for example, a wife doesn’t want sex, but she wants to want sex, then her husband should be meeting her where she is at in her sexuality.

If you are looking to have great sex with same person for the rest of your life, they are three strands to work on:

1. Being a decent human being

2. Understanding the body

3. Using your imagination.

The “key” to a lasting and satisfying sex life is never “just this” or “just that”. It’s the combination of many positive factors work

ing well together and the absence of negative factors that would hinder it.

How do you behave if your wife denies your conjugal rights every

often?

The best way to behave is to be kind, understanding, and supportive. Sexual interest is much greater for women who feel appreciated, valued, and cared about. Foreplay starts at dinner, when you thank her for a great meal, help her with the children or the dishes, and have a good conversation.

In short, treating her well gets you treated well. Relationship are reciprocal. If you make the other person feel valued, she will make you feel valued.

There are cases in which sex hurts for a women e.g when your penis is too big, or when you penetrate her when she is dry. Observe her facial expressions during sex and see whether she is in pain. If so, use lubricant. Be gentle and kind. You are romancing her , not putting your needs first (remember, thinking of her gets your needs met. Some of the questions arising from men on sex issues.

Questions

1. My wife continually tells me to go and have an affair to satisfy my needs, while I don’t really want to! Should I go ahead? 2. My wife is extremely frigid in bed, and iam the opposite. I’m frustrated now after 3 years of marriage. Could you please help? 3. My wife doesn’t want to be intimate with me, and I get very frustrated about it. How can I overcome the situation? 4. My wife and I are happily married. However, my sex drive is far higher than hers. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but what should I do?

5. Is it wrong to want sex when your wife won’t give you any?

For answers to these bedroom questions read our next Issue.

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