ROBYN DARCY

Feature Story: Robyn Darcy

I HAVE BEEN TEACHING DANCE FOR OVER 20 YEARS. My career started at the tender age of 3 when all I wanted to do was Dance. My passion for Ballet grew as I studied, completed my Diploma at UCT School of Dance, and ventured out into the world.

I always knew that God had given me a gift to pass on valuable knowledge and skills to other students, and I always knew that I would teach Dance one day. There was great comfort in that, knowing what you want to become from a young age is rare. God had a plan with me.

Year after year, I would train up young budding dancers to perform with what I deemed, near perfection. We would do Royal Academy Ballet Examinations and excel, compete in Festivals and excel, do bi-annual Shows, and wow audiences. Each year I would make it my business to improve upon, fine-tune and increase the level of

performance. Nothing at all wrong with that you’re thinking. Me too. Only there was always a price tag. My family would be subjected to crazy hours of having “No mom” around, I would regress into another world, forgetting all else. My students would be drilled as often as possible to achieve results that I deemed good enough.

One year I collapsed from sheer exhaustion. I couldn’t lift my head off the pillow. I was literally done.

I spent 5 days flat on my back unable to move. I thought physio would help, so I called on a gracious friend to see me. Chad (my husband) literally carried me into the physio practice. That was how exhausted I had allowed myself to become. During that time, I wrestled with God. “Why was this happening to me? How can I be so useless? What am I supposed to be learning here Lord?”

1819I recovered and went on holiday as it was the end of the year. The following year began and I continued in the same vein. Clearly, no lesson was learnt. When people speak of “doing it in my own strength,” I now know exactly what they mean. All me, none of Jesus.

Each year I’d promise myself to let God step in and help manage me and my work. Each year I would face the same battles from the year before.

Then lockdown hit. I would not allow anything to step in my way. We went into our hard lockdown Thursday 26 March, by Monday 30 March I had signed into a Zoom Account, set my online classes for the new week and I had it all under control. Nothing and no one was going to stop me.

The challenges were only about to begin: From internet and sound issues to missing students, to space issues; we faced every single one of them head-on, and I persisted.

Once again, the biggest price tag being my poor family having to endure my “insanity” for a time, but they all did, so graciously and I love them all so much for dealing with me so gently. Some days I’d want to smash the TV, rip out the WIFI connections, or burst into tears and my family calmly helped me see past it all. The frustrations I felt surpassed anything I have ever experienced before.

By this stage, I was working solely in my flesh. I was angry that God had allowed all this to happen to us and hurting inside because I couldn’t do the one thing I was good at properly.

We came out of lockdown and I was determined to enter Royal Academy Exams even though I knew we weren’t polished enough. Needless to say, in my mind, my students’ results were terrible. I had failed. I had disappointed all my students and I was now ready to retire from teaching. In my mind, I was really preparing to stop teaching and I started to assess other options. As it says in Proverbs 19:21, Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

If I was to hear HIM, I needed HIM next to me, and so my Father star ted teaching W I T H me. I physically pray GOD into my space, HE gives me teaching plans I’ would never have dreamt of, amazing ideas that were not mine from the star t, and a refined approach to teaching.

This little voice inside of me started to deal with me so gently. I started to hear God confirm that I am meant to be a teacher. That I am exactly where He wants me to be. That I am a teacher of worth and that He will show me in time.

I thought I would start 2021 with a new approach. My first thought was, I will never again give another Zoom Ballet Class. But that I will purposefully welcome God into my Studio as my co-partner. If I was to hear Him, I needed Him next to me, and so my Father started teaching WITH me. I physically pray God into my space, He gives me teaching plans I’d never dreamt of, amazing ideas that weren’t mine from the start, and a refined approach to teaching.

We prepared for the Dance Festival in Port Elizabeth in June. Our approach was now different. It wasn’t about what I was teaching, but how I was teaching and with whose authority. Pastor Louis once said to, “Take up your place”, and I never knew what he meant back then. Now I do.

God steered me and my Studio into the greatest Ballet Season we have ever experienced. There was a sense of calm in the Studio, an air of excitement, a deep joy we all began to experience. Our Studio did remarkably well on that stage. So well in fact that people were stunned. My own daughter, Sophs took to that stage and performed like I’ve never seen before. That was when I realized that God had stepped in and given me His authority to teach with Godly wisdom, not my own wisdom. That I was holding, and still do hold a mantle to be honoured.

I suppose the biggest blessing was when one of the teachers at the Festival asked me what I had changed or done to achieve such excellent results. I told her I hadn’t changed anything, it was just how I was teaching.

Our journey isn’t over yet, it’s really only just begun, and even though it has taken me so long to truly see what God sees, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I’m maturing daily as a mother, wife, daughter, teacher, and friend and I am so thankful, deeply grateful that my Heavenly Father loves me so gently.