CLAIRE STEENKAMP

My name is Claire Steenkamp, and this is my testimony. When Jana asked me to write an article for the 31 magazine, I was really hesitant because I am naturally a private person. I thought about it long and hard, wrestled mentally, trying to figure out what I should write about or how my testimony would impact anyone’s life. So, I prayed about it for about 3 weeks, I asked the Lord for guidance and a clear answer, and then just like that, in midconversation with someone else, the Holy Spirit whispered to me gently and said, “Just start from the beginning”. It is so settling to know the Lord hears all our prayers and will always answer them in His time. So, I am sharing my testimony, even if it only touches one person’s life, then it’s all worth it.

I guess you can say I grew up in a normal Christian home. I remember giving my life to Jesus for the first time when I was 7 or 8 years old. My early childhood had no significant highs or lows. I was 10 years old, when my youngest sister, Rachel was born. I was only 3 when my other sister was born so this time around being ten years old, I can remember the excitement of being an older sister.

Every older sister’s dream (or it was at least mine) is to have a younger sister that they can help take care of.

Around 6 months into this fairy-tale, everything changed. Rachel was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia (ALL). ALL is a type of cancer of the blood and bone marrow that affects the white blood cells. The day after my sister was diagnosed, my parents took Rachel up to the Red Cross Children’s Hospital in Cape Town.

My sister Sarah and I went to go and stay at our granny’s house. We stayed with her for the first 3 - 4 months while my mom and Rachel were in CT. These circumstances forced me to grow up very quickly. I tried to fill “the motherly figure gap” in my mom’s absence, for Sarah, as best as I could. My mom and Rachel were in CT for about 7 months in total (which felt more like 7 years). During this period, my dad used to take us up to CT to visit them. Rachel was 13 months old when they moved back home (Port Elizabeth). For the next year and half, Rachel was in and out of hospital for treatment and check-ups. Then at 2 and half years old, Rachel passed away...

I remember my mom telling me that one of her friends had a vision of Rachel going up to heaven. He said that he saw Rachel running up to heaven, her clothing changed to white and St Peter said, “Make way” and she ran into the arms of Jesus.

Now that I am saved again and have an intimate relationship with God, I have SO much peace in my heart knowing that Rachel is safe in the warm loving embrace of Jesus, free from all pain and suffering. But at the age of 12 all I can remember was the heartache and anger. I was angry with God because I couldn’t understand why He would let this happen to our family. I literally felt like my family and life had fallen apart and shattered into a million pieces.

Although I know there was a big void left in our family. A lot of heartache, turmoil, and anger, through my own anger and pain I locked those years away in my mind so while writing this, it’s difficult for me to recall those memories. Little did I know that my heartache was not over, and the storms kept on rolling in.

Three years later, my dad lost his job, so at the age of 15 I took it upon myself to get a job. I started waitressing after school so I could help with things at home. Although it was tough having to finish my homework quickly after school, do chores and then work until 10pm at night, this became my escape from having to deal with the trauma at home. Little did I know, “my safe place” gave me access to a world that I was not ready for as a 15-year-old. During this time, there is a day that stands out. I was with my mom at Spar, when one of her friends walked up and greeted us. Later that afternoon, she called my mom and told her that God had given her a prophecy about me. My mom shared this with me at the time, but I could not really comprehend the message because I was so angry and didn’t want to hear about Jesus. My mom wrote it down, stuck it on her door and proclaimed this prophecy over my life every day in prayer.

This is the prophecy: “I was walking around the shop and thinking about Claire. Thinking how beautiful she is, how lovely and tall she is and how straight she stands. I sensed a tranquillity /serenity in her. I then heard God saying: Claire is My handmaiden: she is as beautiful on the outside as she is on the inside: as tall and straight as she stands in the natural, she will stand tall and straight for Me in the spiritual – a strong beacon that will not bend. She has a gentle heart and a very strong spirit. I am going to use her in My Kingdom, I am going to use her life to touch others. As she draws near to Me and learns to trust Me, I will use her in a mighty way. Tell her I love her very much and am with her every moment.”

Reflecting on it, I believe with all my heart that there is a message in this for every parent today. Regardless of where your child might find him or herself and how you feel as a parent - if you hold onto God’s word and you proclaim His promise over your child’s life - He will always come through for you and never fail you.

Back to my story, fast-forward 2 years. During my final year at school, I moved out of the house and rented my own place. After that I took a gap year (not the VGY type) and saved up to buy a car. The following year, I enrolled at university for a degree in teaching. Being completely self-sufficient, having my own transport, my own money, my own place to stay, it was my rules, my life and it was a wild ride. For the next couple years, I lived a very reckless life. Looking back, I can recall numerous incidents, where, although unaware at the time, I was protected by a higher power. Little did I know, it was my mother’s prayers and intervention for me that kept God in my life.

After receiving my degree in education, I did a post grad in Special Needs Education. During my postgraduate studies my parents got divorced. I was devastated and heartbroken yet again.

I opened my own remedial practice the year after that and threw myself into my career. Helping young children with learning disabilities was more than just a job for me, it was a deep-rooted void I subconsciously tried to fill. The opportunity presented itself for me to teach at an International School in the UAE. Nothing was holding me back, so I decided to go.

Four months before I was set to leave for the UAE, I met the man of my dreams. We had known one another for a long time and truth be told, his life was just as wild as mine at the time. We had both been through a lot of heartache, pain, and destruction in our lives and little did we know at the time that this was the start of God’s plan to not only unite us, but to bring us both “back home”.

As you can imagine, finding true love for the first time, having butterflies in your tummy, and being faced with having to choose between a relationship or pursuing your career, was one of the hardest things that I had to do.

Through tears, my then boyfriend told me to pursue this opportunity and that he would wait for me. He said that if we were meant to be, we would overcome this. He didn’t want me to look back at this opportunity and regret not taking it. With a heavy heart four months later, I moved to the UAE. This was my first flight ever. It was one of the scariest things that I had ever had to do, and I cried the whole way.

At 5am, I landed in a foreign land. In the dark, not knowing where to go, who was fetching me and where I was going to stay, with bloodshot eyes from crying all night, I felt like a bewildered animal amongst all the chaos of people everywhere, speaking a foreign language and then my very first encounter with this new world, was the sound of the prayer call from a nearby Mosque - ushering in the break of a new day.

At that moment I knew, I was all alone - in a Muslim country - for the next 2 and half years … and I had left my God back home when I was 12 years old.

The UAE was one of the best and most challenging experiences I had ever been through. The culture was just so different and very much in your face all the time. For the next two and half years, my alarm clock at 5am every morning was prayer calls from multiple mosques all around me. This repeated 5 times a day, every day.

The children I taught had to take Arabic and Islamic studies at school. During Islamic classes, I used to sit outside my classroom and mark books. The Islamic teacher used to chant verses from the Quran to the students and then the students had to repeat the lines back to her. In a matter of months, I realized that I was able to recite the lines back to myself too. Reciting these lines, made me feel uneasy in my spirit and I was longing for something that I felt I had lost a long time before.

Throughout the entire time that I was teaching in the UAE, I could feel a constant spiritual battle. The children were wild; they had no respect or manners and I often just wanted to quit. My boyfriend (now husband) was one of the people cheering me on and supporting me all the way. But I knew I wanted and needed more.

Even though emotional support was one Skype call away, I had no idea or reference on how to rekindle my relationship with God. In a moment of despair, I felt the Holy Spirit reach out to me and comfort me. One day while randomly scrolling through some Instagram stories, a teacher that I follow had posted a screenshot on her story of, “O Come to the Altar” by Elevation Worship.

I was curious and enticed by that Instagram story. (At that time, I had never even heard of Elevation Worship – so had no idea what to expect. I don’t even think I realized that it read “Worship”) - So I scrolled back and took a screenshot of her story and reminded myself to google it once I got into bed.

Later that evening, I put my earphones in, googled, “O Come to the Altar”, and listened to the words of the song…

Are you hurting and broken within? Overwhelmed by the weight of your sin? Jesus is calling Have you come to the end of yourself? Do you thirst for a drink from the well? Jesus is calling O come to the altar The Father’s arms are open wide Forgiveness was bought with The precious blood of Jesus Christ Leave behind your regrets and mistakes Come today there’s no reason to wait Jesus is calling Bring your sorrows and trade them for joy From the ashes a new life is born Jesus is calling (Oh, oh)

… my heart was arrested, and I felt the peace that surpasses all understanding, and, I knew I had found my first love once again. It was like I never lost it.

I started following Elevation Church and watching sermons online… I then started sharing the Sunday evening services with my fiancé, Jaco. Side note: I forgot to mention that we got engaged 4 months into me being in the UAE.

At first, Jaco was a bit hesitant, but I could see God softening his heart week after week. It became a thing where we started watching online church together.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, but they were easier to get through because I knew that I had the Holy Spirit with me. After the encounter with Jesus, I would pray every day over every corner of my classroom. While marking books, I started listening to praise and worship music instead of the Islamic teacher chanting the Quran.

I still had spiritual attacks and was even confronted by students as to why I was a Christian in a Muslim school. But unlike before, my spirit was calm, and I knew where my strength came from.

I’m not going to bore you with all the details... But for the next year and a half, myself and Jaco, made turns visiting one another every 4 months. Time seemed manageable, well, until we got married. Yes, we got married, while I was living in the UAE and my husband was back in JBAY. We had a lavish wedding planned with all our rockstar friends, and all the glitz and glam that goes with it. But we both knew that we were walking a different path and at that point most of the friends we had were friends from our wild past.

So, while visiting JBAY on my second last holiday, Jaco popped the question, we got married, had a small, perfect, intimate wedding on the Friday and I left for Dubai for another year, on the Monday. Yes, you guessed it, I cried all the way back to Dubai.

One of the most challenging dynamics was building a relationship with Jaco’s children over Skype and short holidays. But we made it work. I feel so honoured and privileged that the Lord entrusted me to be a role model and mom to Kellen and Emma.

During the last couple of months of my teaching contract, we were toying with the idea of immigrating to the UAE, but then Jaco came up with a crazy idea of opening a coffee shop back in JBAY. At first, the idea sounded ludicrous, as neither one of us had any idea on how to run a coffee shop, but what I did know was that I needed a break from teaching and to decompress after the UAE. So, we jumped at it, and Machine was born.

We had grown accustomed to watching Sunday services online, and although JBAY was our home, our close friends were either abroad or in other parts of the country. We didn’t really know how to plug into the community or find a church that gave us the same experience as Elevation.

One day Kellen (our son) asked if he could go to Frontline at Victory Church with some of his friends and came back home, full of excitement, just wanting more and begged us to go to a Sunday service. We kept putting it off.

While we were building Machine, neither Jaco nor myself can recall how this happened, but we crossed paths with a potential tenant by the name of Mona who owned a fashion label by the name of “We are Jona”. Little did we know, the impact that Mona and her husband, Benji would have on our lives. Not only as friends but as spiritual mentors too.

One Sunday we decided to go to Victory, low and behold on stage, leading worship were our newfound friends, Benji and Mona. Coming into Victory, we felt welcomed, and we immediately knew that we had found the church and spiritual family we were looking for.

Looking back at my journey this far, there have been deep valleys, dry deserts, and stormy seas. I often used to think to myself…. “I don’t know how I am still alive after all that”, but with the knowledge I have now, I know that the times, when there was a single track in the sand, God was the one carrying me, and he never left my side.

Regardless of how far off track I went in my past, there is no place too far or something too disappointing that I could have done that the Lord wouldn’t come and find me and lead me back home.

Now, as I grow closer to the Lord, I try to live in the prophecy that was spoken over my life 15 years ago. Today, as I write this, my life almost seems perfect. I have a loving husband, 2 amazing kids, a beautiful house and God blesses us beyond our wildest dreams. I give Him all the honour, glory, and praise. I am humbled and so grateful that He never gave up on me.