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Take PRIDE in your sexuality JOSH TOLENTINO Sports Editor
PRIDE is a registered student organization under the Dean of Students and Diversity Advocacy that raises awareness and creates a safe community for the LGBT/Queer population on campus. Despite the Supreme Court passing gay marriage last year, many still remain ignorant to the issue. Karly Enger, co-president of PRIDE, realizes the “pain” the LGBT/Queer community feels. “Ignorance may be bliss, but it creates pain for communities that are underrepresented,” Enger, a senior special education major, said. “Our duty is to educate the campus community so that those who come after us can live more authentically and comfortably.” While many couples celebrate their relationships during the Valentine’s Day season, PRIDE also has put together several events throughout the next couple of months for the LGBT/Queer population. PRIDE welcomes anyone and everyone to its meetings and events. Throughout the next few months, PRIDE will be preparing for its biggest event of the year, its 18th annual charity Drag Show at 7 p.m. March 25 inside the Brown Ballroom. “Pride is a place where everyone is welcome, allies included,” Enger said. “The less you know the better, we can walk you through this journey of understanding.”
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 2016
UPCOMING EVENTS Date: Feb. 17 at 7 p.m. Event: State Your Legacy Location: Milner Library Description: Shedding light upon the history of LGBT/ Queer pioneers Date: March 2 at 7 p.m. Event: Diversity in the Media Location: LGBT/Queer Studies and Services Building 205 S. Main St. Description: To discover how LGBT/Queer are represented in today’s media Date: March 23 at 7 p.m. Event: Mental Illness Location: LGBT/Queer Studies and Services Building 205 S. Main St. Description: To bridge the gap of mental illness and LGBT/ Queer identities Date: March 25 at 7 p.m. Event: ISU PRIDE’s 18th annual charity Drag Show Location: Brown Ballroom Description: To celebrate PRIDE’s coming of age at its 18 annual charity drag show featuring a surprise guest For any questions, please contact PRIDE Co-President Karly Enger at klenger@ilstu.edu or PRIDE Advisor Jessica Newman at vpsajnewman@ilstu.edu
Tracy Conoboy | Vidette Photographer
ISU’s LGBT office, located at 205 S. Main St., strives to promote equity and social justice for the LGBTQ community.
Study sexual terminology Most people know the terms gay, straight and lesbian, but it is important to be aware of the other jargon in the LGBTQ+ community and respect the differences Bisexual: a person who is attracted to both people of their own gender and another gender
Transvestite: a person who assumes the dress and manner usually associated with the opposite sex
Pansexual: someone who experiences attraction regardless of gender identities/ expressions
Intersex: someone whose sexual anatomy or chromosomes do not fit with the traditional markers of male or female; for example, people born with XXY chromosomes
Demi-sexual or grey-asexual: someone who experiences sexual attraction with a few people or when there is a great romantic attraction Asexual: someone who does not experience sexual attraction Transgender: a person whose gender identity does not correspond to that person’s biological sex assigned at birth
Queer: a deliberately ambiguous term to describe non-traditional sexualities but can be used as a sexual identity; a purposely nonconformist label
Compiled by AVE RIO | News Editor
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THE VIDETTE | SEX IN THE BIRDHOUSE | PAGE 3
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 2016
LDRs: the epitome of an emotional roller coaster lationship, but what I’ve learned this past year and a half is that everyone is different; what works for one couple will not necessarily work for everyone. For me, I always like to know when we’ll see each other next; whether I drive home for the weekend or MY VIEW he makes the exciting drive to HOLLY PETROVICH Editor-in-Chief Bloomington-Normal, setting a he summer after my soph- concrete date allows me to make omore year, a former a mental countdown and allow coworker of mine intro- the anticipation to excite me duced me to one of her old friends rather than discourage me. Obviously, communication is from high school, and we instantly hit it off. We had the same sense key. Neither of us are the biggest of humor, he was extremely caring phone-talkers, but sometimes and thoughtful, but he was 26 and text messages are not enough. Even talking for just 20 minutes lived in my hometown. a few times a week makes me feel As the summer progressed much more connected to him and we continued to enjoy each than constantly sending text mesother’s company, the topic of me sages and Snapchats. returning to school was one we Another essential aspect to kept avoiding. But one night in making a long-distance relaAugust, he just looked at me and tionship work is knowing the said, “We’re going to make this distance is not permanent. work, right?” I had no doubt in my mind that Going in, we both knew that the majority of our first two years I wanted to continue seeing him. together would be apart and that I had many friends who were in was overwhelming. But we saw long-distance relationships, so the very distant light at the end I figured it couldn’t be that bad. of the tunnel and now here we Unfortunately, I was wrong. are with only one semester to go. My roommate and her boyHaving the “after graduation” friend have been doing this for conversations are not only excitnearly four years now, and when ing, but also reassuring for our I came back to campus for junior future relationship. year, she told me it would only get But most importantly, I have harder. Although Dan is only two learned to make the most of our hours away and we try to see each time together. Whether we just other every three weeks or so, the watch movies and eat ice cream time in-between always seems all night or grab a few drinks at much longer. Three semesters of Brewha’s, I try to not take any not being able to see him when I minute for granted, as I know want to most or even talk to him I’ll want to go back in time soon when our schedules don’t match enough. up has not been easy. Unfortunately, though, you do I have read several articles on get used to being apart. Not to tips to survive a long-distance re-
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say it gets easier, but the weeks are busy, and having a consistent routine makes them fly by. I still get jealous when I see a couple on the Quad holding hands, and I think of him when I’m eating tacos alone (our go-to meal), but missing him is just a part of my life right now. Many claim that long-distance relationships are “doomed for failure” and “a waste of time,” but if you find someone you care about, letting distance keep you apart is more wasteful in my opinion. In fact, I think time spent apart makes the relationship stronger; me being at college has allowed us both to grow independently while growing together. I’m also thankful for our strong sense of mutual trust, which is something couples who see each other everyday may never achieve. The cliché phrase “distance makes the heart grow fonder” couldn’t be truer. I have times where I’ll think of a funny memory we shared and seriously contemplate driving home for the night just to laugh about it together. But those times make me realize how lucky I am to have someone to miss. When I told Dan I was writing a column about long-distance relationships, he said “well it’s easy when you have the best guy ever.” Despite his sarcastic remark, he’s right. I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t worth being together in the end. Holly Petrovich is the Editor-inChief of The Vidette. Questions or comments regarding her column can be sent to dv_hepetro@ilstu.edu. Follow her on Twitter @holly_petrovich.
’Bird on the Street What do you look for in a significant other?
“You have to be able to be yourself around and not try and be something different.” Collin Page | sophomore music business & composition major
“She has to make me laugh, well I have a girlfriend so should I just describe her? She’s got to be energetic and happy and know how to cheer me up when I’m feeling down or not feeling good. Definitely hard working and she’s gotta be beautiful in my eyes at least.” Nick Flynn | senior management & insurance major
“I look for somebody who’s funny, who’s caring, who will make me laugh and will support me in any decisions.” Katelyn Kerkstra | senior finance major “Someone that has a great sense of humor, that you can just kind of go through things together, just enjoy life together, just enjoy going to college and just having fun with it.” Ben Steinemates | junior mass media major “Humor is probably my number one thing...somebody I can trust.” Anna Dujakovich | senior public relations major
Compiled by AUDREY ANFIELD | News Reporter
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 2016
PAGE 4 | SEX IN THE BIRDHOUSE | THE VIDETTE
Top date spots in Blo-No Medici Located in the heart of Normal, at 120 North St., Medici is the perfect restaurant for a night out with your special someone. During the summer, the rooftop provides the perfect atmosphere for a dinner out while looking over the Uptown area. And, in the winter, you can enjoy eating inside while admiring the architecture and, of course, the giant tree in the middle of the restaurant. Do not forget about the Monday night special: $5 Medici Martinis.
Starplex Cinemas Or, more specifically, Wednesdays at Starplex. Because what beats free popcorn? For two students, the cost is only $12 for two movie tickets and two small popcorns. Once in a while, it’s nice to stop Netflix and chilling and go out to see a movie like the good old days. The cinema is located at 201 McKnight St. in Normal.
Mclean County Museum Of History Downtown Bloomington has more than just bars; if you are interested in an educational date, you could visit the McLean County Museum Of History on 200 North Main St. It is housed inside the old McLean County Courthouse where Abraham Lincoln himself used to practice law. The museum features awardwinning exhibits that explore the history of Central Illinois.
Bloomington Center for the Performing Arts If you’re looking for a night of music or entertainment, consider the BCPA. Built in 1921, the BCPA is located in the north end of downtown Bloomington at 107 E. Chestnut St. It has a 1,200-seat auditorium and an 11,000 square foot ballroom to host a variety of arts and entertainment.
U.S. Cellular Coliseum The Pepsi Ice Center attached to the Coliseum offers open iceskating on most nights for $6 per person. Stay warm in the winter by holding hands with your date as you skate. And if skating isn’t for you, there are hockey, football or basketball games most weekends. The Coliseum is located in downtown Bloomington on South Madison St.
Compiled by AVE RIO | News Editor
Cuddling and watching Netflix has become a staple of many modern college relationships.
Morgan Kuniej | Vidette Photographer
The evolving college dating culture TAYLOR LEDDIN News Reporter
While the days of dating are not completely dead, they are definitely in critical condition. Somewhere along the way, “traditional” dating became uncool, as millennials have re-routed to a hook-up culture. With social media becoming the platform for communication, the face-to-face aspect of dating has been lost. As a result, there is a lot of confusion surrounding the dating game. The trend in college seems to be that two people meet, “talk” (i.e. text) for a few weeks, then spend some time together in person and decide if they like each other. To me, this does not seem to be the most productive route to take. Then again, my perception of love has been tainted by the countless number of romantic comedies I watched growing up (thanks, John Hughes). While this is not true of every college student or relationship, something of a romantic aspect has been lost. Gone are the days of seeing someone from across the room and actually striking up a conversation with them. Now, we have to swipe right in order to garner a potential relationship. The biggest problem with dating
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in college is that there is so much gray area. Cyber communication does nothing to help this, as interpretation is constantly misconstrued. In addition, we rarely act on our feelings for fear of being hurt. What has come from all of this is a casual take on relationships. With hook-ups and Tinder, the formality of dating has changed. As concepts such as Netflix and Chill become the norm, the jargon of dating is changing as well. However, while this shift in the idea of dating may not be ideal for all, it is the way the world is going. It would stand to reason that those who attended college during the “traditional” days of dating had complaints as well. “I feel like the dating culture in college has two extremes. There are the people who just like to have fun and there are the people that are looking to settle down,” Adamm Isabelli, senior communication major, said. “Everyone in between are the people who either don’t know what they want, they don’t really care to find someone at that particular time or they can’t find anyone.” College is the time in our lives when we get our first taste of adulthood. That can be a tough road to navigate by itself, let alone trying to do so while dating. “I like that, especially in the
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college dating culture, there are so many different kinds of people you can meet,” Isabelli said. “College is one of the few times in your life that you get to be around a community of people your age.”
Even though times have changed, it is important not to let the value of face-to-face interactions fall by the wayside, unless you plan to someday exchange wedding vows via Snapchat.
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THE VIDETTE | SEX IN THE BIRDHOUSE | PAGE 5
Be safe before you jump into bed
Utilize resources on and off ISU’s campus to be fully prepared for any sexual situation Utilize Birth Control Birth control is one of the biggest keys in having safe sex. Condoms prevent unwanted pregnancy and STI/STDs, and can be found nearly anywhere on campus. From CVS to the G Spot, there is no excuse not to be protected. Oral contraceptives, patches and contraceptive vaginal rings also prevent unwanted pregnancies and can be prescribed by your hometown doctor or at Student Health Services on campus at low cost through your health care provider.
Get Checked Most STIs show minimal to no symptoms for a long period of time, so if you are sexually active, it is vital to get routinely checked. Student Health Services can help you, as they offer STI/STD checks, as well as the McLean County Health Department. This is one of the most effective ways of staying safe for you and your partners. Do not risk contracting or passing an STI/STD for a night of careless fun.
Have Mutual Consent Safe sex is always 100 percent consensual, meaning both partners agree to the sexual activities. Never assume consent and always make sure you and your partner are on the same page. Drugs and alcohol limit clear consent and make people say or do things that they would not have if they were sober. If you have been sexually assaulted, it is important to con-
Help prevent unwanted pregnancy and STIs by utilizing different birth control methods.
tact Student Counseling Services to help you and get support – confidentially and free of charge.
Know Your Partner Know your sexual partner as much as necessary to prevent possible surprises down the road. Be honest about each other’s sexual experiences and make sure your partner is down for practicing safe
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Photo Illustration by Emma Horath | Vidette Photographer
sex. This does not mean you need to talk about how many previous partners you both have, but it is important to make sure that each of you have recently been tested for STI/STDs to ensure safety and avoid calamity.
you enter the bedroom. Picking up pamphlets at Student Health Services and the G Spot portable wellness gazebo are both easy ways to stay informed about STI/STDs, safe sex and your body. Being informed ahead of time might save you in the long run.
Stay Informed Being safe during sex is one thing, but it is also vital to know about safe sex before
Compiled by REBECCA DAVIS | Features Reporter
PAGE 6 | SEX IN THE BIRDHOUSE | THE VIDETTE
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 2016
THE VIDETTE | SEX IN THE BIRDHOUSE | PAGE 7
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 2016
Love songs across time Give these new and classic romance tracks a listen Friday I’m In Love by The Cure, 1992
Always Forever by Cults, 2013
I Love You, Honeybear by Father John Misty, 2015 Love Me Do by The Beatles, 1963 Tonight You Belong to Me by Nancy Sinatra, 1962
Photo Illustration by Morgan Kuniej | Vidette Photographer
On Valentine’s Day, don’t forget that strong friendships are just as important as romantic relationships.
The importance of strong relationships EMA SASIC News Reporter
Relationships surround us throughout our entire lives. The minute we are born, family members pour love and affection upon us. As we grow, we form friendships and romantic relationships at every stage. As we encounter new people, taking time to build strong relationships with family members and friends offers many benefits. Clara Varlese, a licensed clinical professional counselor at Elliott Counseling Services, LLC., explained that all bonds are essential in our lives. “All types of relationships are important,” Varlese said. “Many people have close ties to their biological families, whether that be their parents, siblings or extended family. However, others may have closer ties to friends, colleagues or people that they meet along the way.” “Finding someone that understands you, gives you the benefit of the doubt and will not judge you regardless of the mistakes you make can give you incredible comfort, a sense of safety and a feeling of compassion,” she added. As Illinois State University professor of sociology Susan Sprecher explained, all types of relationships share an intimate interdependence and knowledge of the other types. Developing and keeping these types of strong relationships with family members, friends and even romantic partners can be crucial for a college student’s mental health and wellbeing. “Young college students can be the loneliest age group, especially when they first come to college and they still haven’t formed those friendships yet and they miss their parents,” Sprecher said. “It’s a
transition that most students go through, and they adjust by the second semester.” Studies have shown that when we have closer ties to other people, we are healthier. If we have someone that we feel comfortable talking to, it can ease some of the distress that we feel on a daily basis. In addition, when we have friends or family members that care about us, they remind us to take care of ourselves in ways like making sure we go to the doctor. As we grow older, we realize that we have to work harder to be healthy as well, because people depend on us and we want to live longer in order to spend more time with the ones we love. It is not clear when strong relationships form since it is very subjective to the people involved, but certain signs show that something deep and meaningful is forming. “Some people can feel a strong connection almost immediately, but for others it might take a while,” Sprecher said. “When people feel they think of the person a lot, they want to reach out to the person, be connected or they want to share information with them, that would suggest a strong relationship.” Varlese offered some tips on how to develop stronger relationships with the people in our lives. “Find some common ground, whether it’s joining a club on campus [or] participating in an event or activity so that there is something structured going on so it eases the intimidation factor,” Varlese said. “We all want to have someone in our life that understands us and that just doesn’t look at what’s on the surface, but goes way beneath,” she added. Ema Sasic is a news reporter for The Vidette and can be reached at vidette_esasic@ilstu.edu. Follow her on Twitter at @ema_sasic.
Sweet Thing by Van Morrison, 1968
Someone New by Hozier, 2014
Sea of Love by Cat Power, 1998 Let My Baby Stay by Mac Demarco, 2014 At Last by Etta James, 1961 Compiled by ANYA MALLEY | Copy Editor
WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 2016
PAGE 8 | SEX IN THE BIRDHOUSE | THE VIDETTE
’Bird on the Street: What are you doing this Valentine’s Day?
“We go out the night before to avoid the crowds and on Valentine’s Day we stay in with our sweats on and watch movies.” Adam Figurin | senior professional sales and marketing major
Photo Illustration by Dan Baranowski | Vidette Photographer
Taking out your phone is definitely a date no-no.
Eek…dating distasters DEB BETHEL Sports Reporter
On the journey to find ‘The One,’ the average person will go on an array of magical first dates, average dates and, unfortunately, the disaster dates that make you afraid of going on another date ever again. There’s no definition for what makes a date so disastrous, but examples can range from a crazy ex interrupting to uncontrollable gas. Some of you lucky readers who have never been on a disastrous date might think these kinds of dates only happen in the movies. Rest assured, they happen to almost everyone, as these Illinois State University students share with us.
Too close for comfort
“While on the first date with a girl I met on Tinder, she kept commenting on how nice it was to see families out and about and how cute their children were. For the next hour
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she continued to name our future kids and plan out our future together.” –Zach, freshman
I ain’t sayin’ he’s a gold digger…
“Since I lived half an hour away from him, I thought it’d be nice to pay $20 for his gas. Halfway through dinner, he told me he had ‘forgotten’ his wallet, so I paid for dinner, too. Before the date we had agreed on going to a hookah bar, so we did that as well. Afterwards, he took me back to his apartment for some drinks and proceeded to demand sex, when we hadn’t even kissed yet. I said I was getting tired and just wanted to go home, and he told me he would give me a ride after sex. I ended up calling a taxi. For our first date I ended up paying over $200. Needless to say there was never a second date.” –Madison, junior
That awkward moment when…
“A friend told me about her friend who was really nice and attractive. It had been a few
months since I’d been on a date, so I figured why not. When she sat down across from me, I remembered why I never go on blind dates. She was far from attractive and had a matching personality. For the majority of the date, she complained about how unattractive she was and how men constantly rejected her. It was easily the most awkward date I had ever been on.” –Robert, senior
“I might go see Deadpool and hopefully I’ll find a girl to go with me.” Ryan Purkart | sophomore computer science major
Stripping him out of my life
“After going out with this guy a few times, I was excited for our next date. He told me to dress nice and wouldn’t tell me where we were going, so that made me even more excited. You could imagine my surprise when he parked in the strip club parking lot.” -Heather, junior
Just friends… at least so I thought
“I’ll be performing in a choir concert here at ISU. It will be okay as I didn’t have any plans.” Emma Moran | freshman music education major
“Last year I got lunch with my ex-boyfriend to catch up. At the end of the date, he started crying because I wouldn’t kiss him.” –Mallory, sophomore
Romantic comedies
“I’m not doing anything right now as I don’t have a Valentine...yet!” Alize Graves | sophomore music education major
Valentine’s Day is on its way, and the best method to celebrate the holiday of love (aside from studying and doing homework for your college professors) is to stay at home, cuddle with your loved ones and watch some romantic comedy films. Here is a list of the top five romantic comedies you lovers should be watching: ‘The Princess Bride’ (1987) This romantic comedy film is about a charming farmhand named Westley (played by Cary Elwes) who is on an adventure to return to his beloved Princess Buttercup (played by Robin Wright) and marry her. This romantic movie uses grand fairy tale aspects, as the story of Westley and Buttercup is actually a fairy tale a grandfather is telling to his ill grandson.
‘Love Actually’ (2003) Even though it is set during the Christmas season, this film carries a bunch of different loves in the plot, which include young love and complicated love. 10 different couples (some of which star Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson, Keira Knightley, Emma Thompson and the recently late Alan Rickman) in London, England, are maintaining or struggling to maintain their love lives with some hilarious hijinks throughout the film. This movie shows the audience that any type of love can always be complicated, and that each
individual must do something to make their relationship right. The ending shows some of the couples together, and the rest of the couples remain friendly.
‘Sleepless in Seattle’ (1993) This romantic comedy film, mixed with aspects suitable for families, is the second of the trilogy of romantic comedies starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan as the main couple. The film is about a depressed single father named Sam Baldwin (Hanks) who is trying to take care of his son, Jonah, after the death of his wife. Desperate to help his father, Jonah calls a radio station, makes a match with his father and a newspaper reporter named Annie Reed (Ryan) and arranges for them to meet in New York. The duration of the film leads to one of Hollywood’s finest romantic endings in film history, as Sam and Annie meet for the first time and prove that “love at first sight” is a reality.
times. In one scene, which is one of the funniest Hollywood film moments of all time, made the film a legacy when Sally made faked an orgasm in a deli restaurant to prove a point.
‘Pretty Woman’ (1990) This romantic comedy film earned Julia Roberts a Golden Globe win and an Academy Awards nomination for her role. This film stars Roberts as a prostitute named Vivian Ward who meets with a womanizing corporate businessman named Edward Lewis (played by Richard Gere). Even though the setting is modern-based, this movie, like “The Princess Bride,” is mixed with fairy tale aspects. Vivian is a Cinderella/Rapunzel-like character, and Edward is a charming prince. The ending is a perfect example of a fairy tale ending of the prince coming to rescue his true love.
‘When Harry Met Sally…’ (1989) This romantic comedy film shows the audience that a friendly love can lead to a complicated love later on. It stars Harry Burns (played by Billy Crystal), who falls for an old friend of his named Sally Albright (also played by Meg Ryan), even though he is dating Sally’s friend Amanda (played by Michelle Nicastro). Harry and Sally fall for each other throughout the film, even after some troubled
“I might be getting together with a bunch of my friends, maybe going to a movie together as a group.” Morgan Banghart | junior marketing major
“We’ll probably be hanging out at home and binge watching Parks and Recreation.” Connor Dirks | freshman communication major
Compiled by JAKE KLASSEN | Sports Reporter
Compiled by BRENT BADER | Senior Reporter