thePARENTLINK
October 2011
WATCH YOUR WORDS! HELP KIDS STAND UP AGAINST PROFANITY Tips Compared to other sins, cursing might seem tame. But Scripture takes a strong stand against sins of the tongue. God makes it clear that obscenities and impurities have no place coming out of the mouths of Christ-followers. Unfortunately, Christian kids often struggle just as much with their words as their unchurched peers do. Infractions range from the ubiquitous and casual use of the f-word to rude, suggestive, and vicious references about other people. “Profane” means “to treat something sacred with abuse, irreverence, or contempt.” So when kids use the f-word, they treat something sacred (the act of intercourse) with contempt. Try these approaches to tackle profanity: • Ask kids to keep a running tally of the number of profanities they hear during one day at school or one night of TV-watching. Have them report back; then ask them if they were surprised by what they learned. • Tell kids the truth. Research shows that people who curse are respected less in our society and have fewer deep relationships. Cursing also can cause other people to stumble and violates our calling to love our neighbors as ourselves. • Challenge kids to use only “prayer” words. If they wouldn’t use the word in conversation with God, then it isn’t appropriate in any other context. Give kids alternative attention-grabbing words that can substitute for profanity.
Media editor and screenwriter Bryan Belknap offers these insights into language: Cursing is akin to unbelief because it denies Jesus’ presence in all things, at all times. Why is speech that’s unacceptable for Jesus okay for us? It’s impossible to unconditionally love someone using foul language. Cursing does nothing to communicate grace. Cursing violates the spirit of humility. Words are a barometer of character and can show an unwillingness to submit to authority. Cursing undermines integrity. When kids use swear words in certain situations but not others, they’re teaching themselves to play fast-and-loose with their morals. The broader culture still labels foultalkers as ill-educated, uncreative, and lacking in self-control. Initial impressions of people who cuss don’t include happiness, intelligence, or Christianity. Clean language is the ultimate counterculture rebellion. Even a 2-yearold can say potty words. The world notices and respects people who refrain from using profanity. All kids want to stand out from the crowd and carve their own path as unique individuals. Clean speech is one way to do it. In fact, pure language might become the new cool.
Statistics • When Gallup researchers asked 13to 17-year-olds to rank a long list of “serious behaviors,” kids said using profanity in public was the least serious offense of all.
Going Deeper At SimplyYouthMinistry.com, Jasper Rains offers suggestions for ways that adults can use their words wisely, especially in tricky situations: Clear the air. People-pleasers don’t want to rock the boat. This is a major way the enemy gets a foothold in relationships. We tend to bottle up our anger until we blow. If you don’t lovingly confront an issue right away, it will only fuel anger until you confront in frustration.
Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all. Prayerfully seek when it’s right to confront and when it’s right to be silent.
Often, things that eventually become major issues start with bad communication and continue to build. Put concerns on the table as soon as they happen. That clears up misunderstandings and opens the door to speedy reconciliation.
Stop gossiping. Even if you dress something up as a “prayer request,” talking to others about a frustrating situation shouldn’t be your only step. Instead, go to the source of the issue rather than speaking behind other people’s backs.
Speak less. This may seem like a contradiction to the first point, but sometimes when we’re stressed we tend to be too confrontational. We want to put people in their place. We often end up in arguments that only contribute to the problem and don’t preemptively lead us to healing.
A good rule is to share frustrations with only one person, such as an accountability partner. This will help you release some steam but will also give an opportunity for this person to hold you accountable to making things right while they pray for the situation as a whole.
Discussion Questions
What do your own words say about your character, your values, and your relationship with God? What sins of the tongue are the most challenging for you? for your teenagers?
How might your family members be able to hold one another accountable for how they speak?
UPCOMING EVENTS
UPCOMING EVENTS
UPCOMING EVENTS
UPCOMING EVENTS
Calendar of Events
October 2011
Sun
Mon
Tue
Wed
Thurs
Fri
Sat 1
2
4
5 Refuge/Aliens Meeting 6:30-8:30pm | SG
11
12 Refuge/Aliens Meeting 6:30-8:30pm | SG
8 Sr. High Loft 7-10pm SG Campus 15
18
19 Refuge/Aliens Meeting 6:30-8:30pm | SG
25
26 Refuge/Aliens Meeting 6:30-8:30pm | SG
6 The Loft 5-7pm Cause - Squared 7-9pm | IC 13 The Loft 5-7pm Cause - Squared 7-9pm | IC 20 The Loft 5-7pm Cause - Squared 7-9pm | IC 27 The Loft 5-7pm Cause - Squared 7-9pm | IC
7
23 Life Book Rally 6:30-8:30pm Grades 6-12
3 The Loft 5-7pm Cause - Squared 7-9pm | AC 10 The Loft 5-7pm Cause - Squared 7-9pm | AC 17 The Loft 5-7pm Cause - Squared 7-9pm | AC 24 The Loft 5-7pm Cause - Squared 7-9pm | AC
30
31
Return from Fall Camp at 4:30pm
The Loft 5-7pm Cause - Squared 7-9pm | AC
9
16
Refuge/Aliens Meeting 6:30-8:30pm | SG Green – Middle School
14
21
28
22 Sr. High Loft Zane Black 6:30-9:30pm 29 Fall Camp Grades 6-12 3:30pm | $120 ($99 early bird)
The Loft 5-7pm Cause - Squared 7-9pm | IC
Red – High School
Orange – River
Blue – Middle School and High School Together
November 12 November 12 November 16 November 18 November 19 November 23, 24 November 24 November 26 November November 30 December 3 December 10 December 12 December 14 December 15 December 19, 21, 22 December 24 December 26, 28, 29 December 29 December 30 January 7-8
Kendall County Food Pantry Service Project | Pack Thanksgiving Meals 9AM --- 12PM Refuge High School Loft Night I 7 --- 10 PM Ad Vivum --- Moody Bible Institute Drama team | Middle School & High School 6:30 --- 8:30 PM MOPS babysitting night/ Christmas wreaths | Middle School & High School High School Turkey Hunt | 5:30 --- 10:30 PM | $5 | Meets at SG Campus No Aliens or Refuge Meeting Thanksgiving No Refuge High School Loft Night Refuge Family Reunions / Aliens 5 th Wednesday Pack Teen Christmas Bags | $10 per teen bag donation I Village Bible Church Refuge High School Night I 7 --- 10 PM Aurora Campus Christmas Party (Scavenger Hunt) Christmas Parties (Middle School Scavenger Hunt $5 / High School at Luigis $25) Indian Creek Campus Christmas Party No Student Ministry Meetings/ Student Ministry Staff Christmas Party No Refuge High School Loft Night No Student Ministry Meetings Aliens Middle School New Years Triple Eve Party at Luigis --- 12 --- 3:30 PM - $25 ($19 early bird) Refuge High School New Years Eve Eve Party in Chicago --- all day - $35 --- 40 River Retreat – Approximately $75
January 14 January 28 February 5 February 11 February 25 February 29 March 10 March 24 April 8 April 13-14 April 14 April 21-22 April 28 May 12 May 13 May 22 May 26 May 28 May 30 June 16-24 June 17 June 28 July 1 - 7 July 9-14 August August 3-5 September 5 September 8 September 22 September 26 September 26 October 13 October 26-28 October 27 October 31 November 10 November 10 November 14 November 16 November 17 November 18 November 21 November 24 December 1 December 8 December 12 December 16 December 19 December 26 December 28 December 29 December 31
Refuge High School Loft Night - 7-10 PM Refuge High School Loft Night - 7-10 PM Superbowl Party (Middle School and High School separate locations) - $5 – 5-9:30 PM. Kickoff is 5:25pm Refuge High School Loft Night - 7-10 PM Refuge High School Loft Night - 7-10 PM Refuge Family Reunions / Aliens 5th Wednesday Refuge High School Loft Night - 7-10 PM Refuge High School Loft Night - 7-10 PM Easter Dare 2 Share - $75 / $60 early bird – Web site: www.dare2share.org NO Refuge High School Loft Night due to Dare 2 Share Senior Banquet (Refuge Senior High) $30 (6-10:30 PM Saturday, Laser Tag on Sunday – 4:30 – 9:30 pm Refuge High School Loft Night - 7-10 PM Refuge High School Loft Night - 7-10 PM Mother’s Day Kaneland High School Baccalaureate Refuge High School Loft Night - 7-10 PM (Mario will not be there) Memorial Day Picnic Refuge Family Reunions / Aliens 5th Wednesday NO REFUGE HIGH SCHOOL LOFT nights for the summer Lead the Cause University - Colorado Father’s Day Six Flags Great America (Tentative – Middle and High School – 8 AM – 12 am) - $65 / $50: early bird Lake Ann Camp (week 3)(Students entering grades 4 through high school graduation) Aliens Middle School Mission Trip with Wayside Cross - $125 (Tentative – Need to set up with Emily Wood) Aliens and Refuge Off-Sights for Wednesday nights at students’ homes River Retreat – Approximately $75 plus transportation Back 2 School Bash (Middle School and High School separate locations - $5) Refuge High School Loft Night - 7-10 PM Refuge High School Loft Night - 7-10 PM See You At The Pole Parent Night Refuge High School Loft Night - 7-10 PM Fall Camp (Middle School and High School - $120 / $99 early bird) NO Refuge High School Loft Night due to Fall Camp Refuge Family Reunions / Aliens 5th Wednesday Kendall County Food Pantry Pack Thanksgiving Meals Refuge High School Loft Night - 7-10 PM AdVivum – Moody Bible Institute Drama team (Middle School and High School) Put together Christmas wreaths at church High School Turkey Hunt (5:30 – 10:30 PM) - $5 Deliver Christmas wreaths on Sunday morning NO Aliens or Refuge Meeting NO Refuge High School Loft Night Pack Teen Christmas Bags - $10 per teen bag donation Refuge High School Loft Night - 7-10 PM Christmas Parties (Middle School Scavenger Hunt $5 / High School at Luigis $25) River Christmas Party NO Aliens or Refuge Meeting / Student Ministry Staff Christmas Party NO Aliens or Refuge Meeting liens Middle School New Years Quadriple Eve Party at Luigis – 12 – 3:30 PM - $25 / $19 early bird Refuge High School New Years Triple Eve Party in Chicago – all day - $35 – 40 River New Years Eve Party