Living with teens

from Potton January 2023

Baking: Sungold Baked Oats

Parenting

Living with Teens

The teen years are a time of body changes, brain rewiring, social pressures and exam stress. Parenting a teen can be hard work.

Conflict

Conflict is completely normal. Teens have to learn to become independent. They are hard-wired for it. Try to remain calm, listen and choose your battles. Decide what is worth taking a stand on and what isn’t.

Boundaries

Teens will test boundaries which is a source of conflict (see above). Set out clear guidelines about what is acceptable. Tell your teenager where you’re going, who with and when you’ll be back. Explain that this is for your safety and so they don’t worry. Tell them you expect the same in return, so that they are safe, and you don’t worry. Boundaries show you care. You teen knows this even if they choose to argue over them.

Individuals

Your teen is not an extension of you. Don’t expect them to agree with everything you say or believe. Teenagers should and will test opinions and people. Agree to differ. Your teenager is more likely to respect your views if you respect theirs.

Interest

Show an interest in your teen’s day, whether at home or at school. Offer support and guidance with homework or revision. But please note that genuine interest is neither pressure nor prying. Just keep channels of communication open so they know they can talk freely to you about anything.

Family time

Your relationship with your child will change as they progress through their teens. Makes sure you spend some time together doing everyday things… sweeping up the leaves in the garden, sorting laundry, preparing supper. Don’t assume they won’t appreciate a family outing to the cinema, bowling or mini-golf now and then, or even a country walk. They may approach the event ironically as though they are humouring you but if they come it’s because they want to be there. The work you put in to your relationship with your teen will pay dividends as they get older.

By Heidi Leonard