Village Tweet - November 2014 by Village Tweet

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Mammoth Sale now on! See page 9 www.villagetweet.co.uk

November 2014

CONNECTING THE COMMUNITY AND LOCAL BUSINESS Billingshurst • Barns Green • Five Oaks • Ifold • Kirdford • Loxwood • Plaistow • Slinfold • Wisborough Green

Editorial and advertising enquiries: 07762 767084, editor@villagetweet.co.uk

Contents

lthough this is the November issue it is likely you will be reading this at the end of October. Therefore, the first big event on the horizon is Halloween. This is followed less than a week later by Guy Fawkes night. If you are having a firework party at home (not as expensive as you might think if you invite a few friends round and they all bring a box of squibs!) read the article on page 15 from our local firefighters and have a fun – and safe – evening. The other noteworthy event this month is Remembrance Sunday on the 9th. Please give generously and wear your poppy with pride. Grahame Cover: This incredibly rare Woolly Mammoth skeleton will be auctioned by Summers Place Auctions on 26th November – see page 9. Photo: Summers Place Auctions Food & drink Recipe: Custard Tart . Queens Head Pub . . . The Hungry Guest . . . The Limeburners Pub

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Health & wellbeing Billingshurst Osteopaths . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11 Davis Foot Care . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11 Rebecca Beauty Theapist . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .11 Billingshurst Leisure Centre . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12 Billingshurst Dental Practice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .13 Fresh Start, Fitness & Nutrition . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14 Ali’s Just 2 Gorgeous Nails . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15 AM Beauty Clinic . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15 Slinfold Golf & Country Club . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .IBC About the house Fowlers, Estate Agent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .3 Cubitt & West, Estate Agent . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4 Holly Boilers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16 Hamilton Cole, TV & Satellite Equipment . . . . . . . .17 Delta Decor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17 West Sussex Electrics and Property Maintenance .17 Flow-serve, Plumbing, Drainage, Heating . . . . . . . .18 GJ Coles Builder . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18 Hydropower . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18 Miss Mop Domestic Cleaning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19 MW Wingate Painting & Decorating . . . . . . . . . . . .19 Oven Rescue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19 Sussex Chimney Sweeping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19 Sussex Carpet Brokers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20 Hardwood Seasoned Logs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .21 Home Interior Painting Services . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .21 KJ Lammas Plumbing & Heating . . . . . . . . . . . . . .21 ADC Appliances . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .22 Pest B Off . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .22 Woodpeckers House & Garden Maintenance . . . . .22 Bennetts Chimney Sweep . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .23 Goring Road Carpets . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .23 Lee’s Locks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .23 Ron Osborne Roofing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .23 Mrs Muscle Domestic Cleaning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .24 N Francis Electrical . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .24 Brazier Building . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .25 GB Glazing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .25 Ovens and More . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .25 Pro Roofing & Property Maintenance . . . . . . . . . . .25 Totally Garage Doors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .26 Hallam Trim, Window Cleaning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .27 Re-Nu Kitchens . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .27 PJM, Building & Property Maintenance . . . . . . . . .27 Apex Aerials . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .28 Biji Property Services . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .28 Pest Man . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .28 Petworth Logs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .28 Smiths Gore Property Lettings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .36 Cracknell Pitt-Draffen, Estate Agent . . . . . . . . . .OBC Games and quizzes Crossword . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10, 40 Spot the Difference . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .21, 41

COPY DATE FOR DECEMBER ISSUE: 7th NOVEMBER Published by A272 Design, PO Box 371, Billingshurst, West Sussex RH14 4AS

Editorial and Advertising: Grahame Pearson 07762 767084 editor@villagetweet.co.uk Website Design: Stephen Pearson stephen@pearson-design.co.uk

www.villagetweet.co.uk Printed by: The Lavenham Press, Suffolk Disclaimer: All adverts and editorial are printed in good faith. However, A272 Design cannot take any responsibility for the content of the adverts, the services provided by the advertisers or any statements given in the editorial. © No part of this publication may be reproduced or stored without the express permission of the publisher. Garden Tweet! Garden View: Hedge Your Bets! John Potter Garden Work . . . . . Jonathan Carter Tree Surgery . . HJS Land Services . . . . . . . . . . REM Landscapes . . . . . . . . . . . Sussex & Surrey Tree Services Leaf & Seed, Female Gardener Village Nurseries . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Features Horsham War Memorial/Remembrance Day . . . . Wooly Mammoth Auction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dementia . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A Good Read . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Mike Smart: Local Author . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Living with Laika: Greetings! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Computing: The sounds of bells ringing… . . . . . . .

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Miscellaneous Professional Services & Businesses A/c’s Direct, Accounting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .5 Willow, Clothing, Jewellery & Accessories . . . . . . . .6 Flackwoods Solicitors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10 Southwater Cycles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15 Home & Away Gifts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .28 Abby’s Grooming Parlour . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .32 Willows Cattery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .32 Pride and Groom Mobile Grooming . . . . . . . . . . . .34 Jane Sharp, Piano Tuition . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .37 Spitfire Experience, Flight Simulator . . . . . . . . . . . .39 Bax Computers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .41 Anderson Rowntree Solicitors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .42 Community/Out & About/Farming/Smallholding Billingshurst Dramatic Society: Engaged . . . . . . . Billingshurst Fire Station: Enjoy Bonfire Night Safely! Michaela Giles’ Diary of a Smallholder . . . . . . . . . Gatwick Flightpath Noise . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ‘Stitch’ Exhibition . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Dame Vera Lynn Trust: Firewalk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Wey & Arun Canal Society: 2015 Calendar . . . . . John Nash’s Column: Masters of the DIY . . . . . . . Honey Bees at Fishers Farm . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Vivace Chorus . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Ifold Slot Car Racing Club . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Slinfold Concert Band: Billingshurst Concert . . . . Billingshurst Parish Council . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Little Tweeters! Fishers Farm Park . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .37 Tip Top Tutors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .37 More about pigs by Yvonne Fleece . . . . . . . . . . . . .40 Equine SPR Centre’s page: Time to say goodbye . . . . . . .32 Falcon/Willetts Equine Feeds . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .33 Motoring A-Team Mechanics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Billingshurst Service, Repair & MOT Centre Macs Private Hire . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sussex Towing Brackets . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

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Last But Not Least What’s On . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44-46 Advertisers Index . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .46

The area’s longest-established, independent family firm

Introducing Lindsay Plummer this month. Lindsay is well known in the area having worked for Fowlers for eight years. You will see more of her in the future because she has decided to step forward from her previous role and is now front of house in the Billingshurst office, and all clients and customers are assured of a warm welcome. Lindsay is pictured with George the terrier, who is also a very valued Fowlers employee being Head of Security and their Loyalty scheme.

tĞ͛ůů ŵĂŬĞ ǇŽƵ feel at home

74, High Street Billingshurst RH14 9QS. www.fowlersonline.co.uk 01403 786787

We believe that there is only one way to sell your home: with a powerful marketing strategy including professional photography, fabulous brochures, and outstanding coverage on all the top UK property websites.

These things are key to achieving smooth and fast results! To take advantage, contact us today!

01403 780807

cubittandwest.co.uk

Remembrance / Accountancy

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Horsham war memorial restoration – or not!

scheme was proposed at a cost of £4,500, but orsham War Memorial, unveiled in was turned down by all the local villages and November 1921, has stood as the focus Horsham Urban Council, so a more affordable, of the town’s remembrance of the Fallen simple limestone structure was designed at a of the First World War for nearly 100 years. cost of £500. However, limestone Standing in the centre of the is not hard wearing and could not Carfax, it has been attacked by the take cleaning; in fact the ravages of some appalling winter weathering has actually built up a weather, glorious summer days protective covering. and the general street life. It should also be remembered Understandably, Horsham that the War Memorial is nearly District Council wants to treat the 100 years old, therefore it is a memorial with respect and has memorial paid for by those who investigated how it should be lived through the First World War, cleaned, especially for this it would be insensitive, though centenary year. done with the best of intentions, After six months of investigation for today’s generation to remove the results have come back, the patina of age and including advice from David Moore remembrance. of the Horsham Society who was Horsham War Memorial in 1923 Horsham District Council involved with the cleaning of intends to ensure that the memorial will last for Winchester cathedral. Remarkably the advice is at least another 100 years and the area around counter intuitive; instead of cleaning the it kept in the best of condition. The Council will Horsham War Memorial, it is to be left alone. be working with other partner organisations to The War Memorial was made from a poor ensure suitable remembrance and quality limestone; after four years of constant commemoration of the Great War continues. fund raising to fight the war, the town had Sophie Cox, HDC Communications Officer exhausted its financial resources. An ambitious

Remembrance Day Facts

emembrance Day takes place on 11th November to mark the moment the guns of the First World War fell silent, at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918. The first Armistice Day was held in 1919 throughout the Commonwealth. The name changed to Remembrance Day after the Second World War. Remembrance Sunday is held on the second Sunday in November each year, with services at war memorials and churches in every city, town and village.

The poem In Flanders Fields, by Canadian surgeon John McCrae, inspired the use of the symbolic poppy. The opening lines of the poem refer to the thousands of scarlet poppies that were the first flowers to grow over the churned-up earth of the battlefields. The Queen lays the first wreath during the national ceremony at the Cenotaph in Whitehall. Money raised by the sale of poppies is used by the Royal British Legion to support servicemen and women. Tom Hancock

Willow in Billingshurst Beautiful Clothing, Jewellery & Accessories Enjoy a unique local shopping experience with friendly staff and a personal service Wonderful news! Billingshurst High Street finally has a gorgeous boutique. “Opening here has been very exciting and the shop has been extremely well received by everyone” says owner, Jo Knight. She intends to renovate the premises completely in the new year, but could not wait to open and bring cutting-edge designs to the village in time for Christmas. “There will constantly be something new in the shop as more tempting treats will be arriving every week” explains Jo. Gorgeous casual clothes by popular brands such as Braintree combine with stunning evening and work wear. “Competitively priced Italian leather bags and colourful faux leather bags have also

been extremely popular this year” exclaims Jo. There is a wide range of exquisitely designed jewellery to suit all budgets. Swarovski Crystal pieces complement affordable and glamorous costume jewellery. “There has been a growing demand for limited edition pieces, so we have introduced a silver range and items which have been handmade in Sussex by local artists" explains Jo. Esteemed luxury and bathing products add to the mix and Jo is always happy to recommend inspiring gifts. At Willow, you can treat yourself to a stylish outfit and ensure you surprise and delight your loved ones with unique gifts, without the hassle of trawling the towns. Make ticking off that Christmas list a pleasure this year by shopping locally at Willow in Billingshurst.

Willow, 41 High Street, Billingshurst, RH14 9PP Tel: (01403) 782877 Visit our Facebook page for details of special events, offers and promotions www.facebook.com/WillowBillingshurst

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Food and drink

Custard Tart

Who doesn’t love a delicate custard tart?

METHOD Heat the oven to 220°C/Gas 7 For the pastry 1. Place the flour, butter and salt into a large bowl. Rub the butter into the flour with your fingertips until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs. Be careful not to over-rub. Add the cold water to the mixture a small amount at a time, and using a round-bladed knife, stir until the dough binds together. Wrap the dough in clingfilm and chill for a minimum of 15 minutes, up to 30 minutes. 2. Gently roll out the pastry to line a 1½"/4cm deep, x 7"/18cm base tart tin. Brush the pastry all over with a little of the beaten egg. This will help seal the pastry during cooking. Place the pastry in the fridge while you make the filling. For the filling 1. In a large bowl beat the eggs and egg yolks lightly with the sugar. 2. Warm the cream to a gentle simmer, then pour slowly over the beaten eggs, stirring constantly. Be careful not to overheat the cream or it will curdle the eggs. Add the vanilla extract if you are using. 3. Pour the egg and cream mixture through a sieve into the pastry case. Sprinkle over the grated nutmeg. 4. Place the tart onto a baking sheet and bake in the centre of the preheated oven for 10 minutes to brown the pastry. Lower the temperature to 180°C/Gas 4 and continue cooking for a further 20 minutes or until the custard is set.

Preparation time: 30 minutes. Cooking time: 30 minutes. Serves 6

INGREDIENTS 150g/6oz plain flour Pinch of salt 75g/3oz butter or an equal mix of butter and lard, cubed 2-3 tbsp cold water 3 large eggs, plus 2 large egg yolks, lightly beaten 55g/2oz caster sugar 570m1/1 pint single/light cream ¼ teaspoon vanilla extract (optional – makes it sweeter) ½ teaspoon whole nutmeg, freshly grated

The Queens Head, Barns Green Traditional 17th Century Village Pub Finest quality beers, ciders and wines Cask Marque Pub of Excellence Accredited in CAMRA Good Beer Guide

Finest quality, original home cooked food using our home grown and local produce (Some say it’s the Centre of the Universe)

NOVEMBER EVENTS Sunday 9th Remembrance Sunday Wednesday 12th Curry Night Tuesday 18th General Knowledge Quiz Wednesday 19th Pie Night Every Friday Take-away Fish and Chips, 6.30-9pm

Bookings being taken for Festive Food in December

Chapel Road, Barns Green, West Sussex RH13 0PS. Tel: 01403 730436

www.thequeensheadbarnsgreen.co.uk

Mammoth Sale! / Food and drink

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Mammoth Sale Now On!

ummers Place Auctions, Billingshurst, will be selling one of the most iconic ancient mammals – an Ice Age Woolly Mammoth skeleton complete with tusks – in their second Evolution sale on Wednesday, 26th November. The Mammoth is expected to fetch £150,000-250,000. The Woolly Mammoth was one of the most celebrated creatures ever to walk the earth, the most famous animal of the Ice Age, which died out about 10,000 years ago. Errol Fuller, the curator of the sale, says, “This is a virtually complete Mammoth skeleton with beautiful tusks, which makes it particularly rare. Its impressive size of 3.5 metres height and 5.5 metres long, suggests it may be a male Mammoth and may have weighed up to six tonnes in its lifetime.” Imagine the Mammoth covered in fur – long fur on top with a shorter undercoat – and although quite similar to today’s elephant, it had smaller ears and a shorter tail to minimise frostbite and

heat loss, so it was well adapted for the ice age. Its habitat was the Mammoth Steppe, stretching across northern Eurasia and North America, so its diet was mainly grass and sedges, which explains why it only had four molar teeth, and also stunning long, curved tusks. The Woolly Mammoth coexisted with early humans, who hunted them for food and used its bones and tusks for making art, which also explains why complete skeletons are so rare. Even if you have not got a quarter of a million pounds to spare the good news is that you can see the Mammoth in November! Viewing times: Friday 21st to Tuesday 25th November, 10am to 4pm and on the morning of the sale, or by appointment at Summers Place Auctions, The Walled Garden, Billingshurst, RH14 9AB. Tel: (01403) 331331. For further information on the auction, please visit www.summersplaceauctions.com.

Silke Lohmann

The Limeburners

View all events and menus at

www.thelimeburners.com

Saturday 1st November 9pm-12 midnight

Halloween Karaoke/ Disco Rocky Horror Picture Show Fancy Dress Competition

Chef’s Seafood Evening

Friday 14th November 6pm-9pm — Bookings only —

Christmas

Serving all regular menus &

The Traditional Turkey Roast Dinner 24th Nov-24th Dec — Taking bookings now —

(Closed Christmas Day & Boxing Day eve)

‘Bus Pass Special’ 60+ meals £6 every Tuesday and Wednesday lunchtimes and evenings

Lordings Road, Newbridge, Billingshurst RH14 9JA. Tel: 01403 782311

Editorial and advertising enquiries: 07762 767084, editor@villagetweet.co.uk

Coffee break / Legal services

Village Tweet Quick Crossword

Solution on page 40

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Creating C ti an LPA LPA w will ill cost cost £149.00 £149 00 Plus VAT at the current rate e t h e l o ca l s p e c i a l i s t s i n Wi l l s, state Planning Flackwoods Solicitors o r s a re m e m b e r s o f t h e S o c i e t y o f ac titioners. Our offices have Free Ground Floor Disabled Access To o get half an hour ho hour’s ’s FREE A Advice dvice - just phone: 01403 738777 777 or email: office@flackwoods.co.uk

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01403 0 1403 7 738777 38777 - FFLACKWOODS LACKWOODS.C CO O.U UK K - WIILLS LLS - PRO ROBATE BATE - P POWERS OWERS O OF FA ATTORNEY TTORNEY - ES STATE TATE P PL LA ANNING NNING

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Health and wellbeing

Davis Foot Care Clinic Emma Davis

MCFHP/MAFHP

Foot Health Professional Visiting practice, providing nail and foot care treatment and advice Services provided include: Nail trimming (including finger nails), removal of calluses and corns Treatment of nail disorders: Thickened toe nails, ingrown toe nails, fungal toe nail infections Verrucae, treatment of the diabetic foot For an appointment please call:

07857 165456

Billingshurst Osteopaths pinpoint the cause of your condition and offer detailed treatment plans for a range of skeletal and muscular conditions including:

Back, neck and/or shoulder pain Joint and muscle pain Headache or migraine Sports injuries Pain related to motor accidents Pregnancy related pain Arthritic concerns Postural problems Babies with persistent crying, irritability and poor sleeping

Tel: 01403 786081 info@billingshurstosteopaths.com www.billingshurstosteopaths.com

A caring approach to your health

Registered Private Healthcare provider for BUPA, PPP and many more

Birthday Parties. at Billingshurst Leisure Centre

Turn your childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s party into an exciting day to remember. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s NO mess, NO fuss and we do all the work whilst you, your child and their friends have all the fun! Parties include: Q Pool Parties Q Castle Capers Q Trampolining and many more For more information please call us on 01403 787500 or visit the website www.billingshurstleisurecentre.co.uk

Places for People Leisure Ltd working in partnership with Horsham District Council.

PFP84949

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Health and wellbeing

Dementia

round 800,000 people in the UK have dementia. The word dementia describes a set of symptoms which include memory loss, and difficulty with thinking, problem solving and language.

These symptoms can sometimes be caused by other things however, so it’s important to get a diagnosis as soon as possible. Your GP may refer you to a specialist consultant. Assessments are likely to include conversations with you and your loved ones, a physical examination, memory tests and/or a brain scan. Dementia is caused when the brain is damaged by diseases, such as Alzheimer’s disease or a series of strokes. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common type of dementia, affecting 62 per cent of those diagnosed. Other types include vascular dementia affecting 17 per cent, and mixed dementia which affects 10 per cent of those diagnosed. Those with dementia may be given medicines to help with symptoms and slow down progression, but as yet there is no cure. Some sufferers also attend day centres and support groups. Carers can get help from local Carers Groups, Social Services and Dementia UK’s Admiral Nurses. These nurses specialise in

dementia and provide practical and emotional support as well as information to families, friends and professionals. Dementia UK is a charity. In addition to Admiral Nurses it also provides a national helpline and email service. One of the other major organisations in this field is the Alzheimer’s Society. This is a membership organisation which provides local support services, including day care and home care and befriending and support for families and partners of those with dementia. They also provide fact sheets and publications and have a helpline and an online forum called talking point. In addition, the Alzheimer’s Society fund research, provide training and development and campaign to raise awareness. One of their recent initiatives is Dementia Friends. You may have seen the television adverts for this which included lots of celebrity support. Anyone can become a Dementia Friend. I did in just over ten minutes! This campaign is all about increasing understanding about dementia, and educating people so that they can help those with the condition. Dementia Friends learn a little bit about what it’s like to have dementia and then turn this understanding into action. This could include helping someone get on the correct bus, or being patient if someone with dementia is taking a long time to find the right change when paying for their goods at a till. To become a friend you watch a short video on the website then register or attend a local information session. Dementia UK: www.dementiauk.org Helpline: 0845 257 9406. Email direct@dementiauk.org The Alzheimer’s Society: www.alzheimers.org.uk Helpline: 0300 222 1122 Dementia Friends: www.dementiafriends.org.uk

Susan Brookes-Morris

Nervous pa Nervous patients tients ar aree especially w welcome elcome Y Unhur Unhurried ried dental car caree - at at your your pace YR Reassuring eassuring sedation sedation tec techniques hniques YA Appointments ppointments aatt quieter times Y> >Q[Q\ ][ NWZ IV QVNWZUIT KPI\ ÅZ[\ Q[Q\ ][ NWZ IV QVNWZ UIT KPI\ ÅZ[\ 114 High S Street, treet, Billingshurst, Billingshurst, West West Sussex, We Sussex, RH14 9QS

www.billingshurstdental.co.uk www.billingshur www .billingshurstdental.co.uk

Wee take eextra W xtra care care of nervous nerv ous pa patients. tients. Please call us for for details 01403 783688

Editorial and advertising enquiries: 07762 767084, editor@villagetweet.co.uk

Out and about / Health and wellbeing

Billingshurst Dramatic Society presents ‘Engaged’

illingshurst Dramatic Society offers a rare chance to see the play ‘Engaged’, a satirical, burlesque comedy of English manners by W.S. Gilbert, the librettist of the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta-writing team. The plot involves a couple on the run from a gun-waving jilted fiancé, a country Scottish lassie and her beau, and a male character with the peculiar habit of proposing to every woman he meets. The topic of marriage is always ripe for satire, and Gilbert takes no prisoners by putting lines like this into the mouth of the muchengaged Cheviot Hill: “Marriage is a very risky thing; once in it you can’t get out of it, and the costs are enormous. There you are – fixed.” It may be dated, but you can’t help but identify with the sentiment. Other characters serve the satire as well: the simple country Scottish girl Maggie Macfarlane is engaged to the enterprising if slightly shady Angus Macalister, who makes a good living putting obstacles on the train tracks and selling food, drink and hotel services to stranded passengers.

Meanwhile, the lovely Belinda Treherne has just refused suitor Belvawney unless he can guarantee an adequate “pecuniary position.” Belvawney’s fortunes depend on his friend Cheviot staying single (don’t ask). There’s another girl in this mix: Minnie Symperson daughter of Cheviot’s uncle Symperson. Uncle’s pecuniary position will be greatly enhanced if Cheviot does marry. To that end, he offers Minnie as the bride. Are you still with me? Never mind, it’s all very silly, but great fun. The women all want a husband with money, and the men just want money, and all are determined to get them by whatever means possible. But all are engaging, in their own ethically challenged ways. Rebecca Cooper Performances at the Women’s Hall in Billingshurst on Wed 29th, Thu 30th, Fri 31st Oct and Sat 1st Nov at 7.45pm. Tickets £8 from Mansell McTaggarts, High Street, Billingshurst (no phone calls please) www.billingshurstdramaticsociety.com Photo: the cast rehearsing for Engaged

Village Tweet is proud to be the Major Sponsor of the Billingshurst Dramatic Society throughout 2014

Fun fitness classes with Helen at the Billingshurst Community Centre DAY

CLASS TYPE

TIME

TUESDAY

PILATES

6.00 - 7.00pm

TUESDAY

FITSTEPS

7.15 - 8.00pm

WEDNESDAY

FITMIX

11.00am - 12.00

WEDNESDAY

AEROBICS

6.15 - 7.25pm

FRIDAY

PILATES

9.30 - 10.30am

Suitable for all ages & abilities

www.freshstartfitness.today

Call Helen 01403 265574. email helen@freshstartfitness.today 14

Fireworks / Health and wellbeing

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Enjoy Bonfire Night Safely! And give the lads at Billingshurst Fire Station an easy night!

ireworks at a public display may be spectacular but fireworks at home with family and friends on 5th November is more fun – as long as they are used safely… Figures show more children rather than adults get hurt by fireworks. Over the past five years over 350 pre-school children, some only a year old, were treated in hospital for fireworks injuries. Many people opt for sparklers for safety but did you know that sparklers get five times hotter than cooking oil? Keep them away from your face and treat them with the same respect you would give to a lighted match. Don’t cut corners just to save a few quid. Always buy fireworks from a reputable shop to make sure that they conform to British Standards. This means that they should have BS 7114 written on the box. Locally I can recommend Aurora Fireworks based in Wisborough Green. We do regular checks to this site and these guys were the ones who organised the Billingshurst public display last month. A professional business who have been trading for many years.

We want everyone to have fun during bonfire and firework events, but please be careful. Young people should watch and enjoy fireworks at a safe distance. Only adults should deal with the lighting of fireworks. They should also take care of the safe disposal of fireworks once they have been used. Dan Game The RoSPA Firework Code 1. Plan your firework display to make it safe and enjoyable. 2. Keep fireworks in a closed box and use them one at a time. 3. Read and follow the instructions on each firework using a torch if necessary. 4. Light the firework at arm’s length with a taper and stand well back. 5. Keep naked flames, including cigarettes, away from fireworks. 6. Never return to a firework once it has been lit. 7. Don’t put fireworks in pockets and never throw them. 8. Direct any rockets well away from spectators. 9. Never use paraffin or petrol on a bonfire. 10.Make sure that the fire is out and surroundings are made safe before leaving.

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Book reviews / About the house

A Good Read November’s selection from book reviewer Kath Bennett Gig – Simon Armitage Simon Armitage is best known as a poet, but he is also an accomplished lyricist, reviewer and all round storyteller. Subtitled The Life and Times of a Rock Star Fantasist, it documents his experiences with music, from his early listening habits, through teenage obsessions and on to his final acceptance as an adult of the fact that he will never be a rock star. This is swiftly followed by his decision to form a band and attempt to become just that. While this is an ideal book for dipping into – most of the sections can be read out of sequence – it is almost impossible to stop once you begin. Each anecdote leads on to another: from the experience of selling a guitar on eBay, to memories of school domestic science lessons. Part observation, part autobiography, the stories are often laugh-out-loud funny, yet the next page will bring a moment of sadness, and even tragedy. In particular, the lyrics from Songbirds and Feltham Sings, the two musical documentaries in which Armitage turns the stories of prisoners into songs, are intelligent, well-crafted and heartbreaking. For many, it is the recognition of themselves in the tales that Armitage tells that creates the greatest sense of engagement. Readers of a certain age will cringe as he recalls his punk phase (and thank their mums that their 18th birthday cake was not quite as unusual) and then realise that they too are now among the oldest gig-goers. This is also very much a book about

Yorkshire. But even if you don’t get the reference to Corporation Pop, it is handily explained. All in all, an excellent read, either at one sitting, or as a pick-and-mix view of modern life. Smelly Bill’s Smelliest Stories – Daniel Postgate It can be difficult to choose books for newly confident readers; they are happy to say that they are ‘too big’ for picture books, but faced with a paperback novel they can feel out of their depth. So, this omnibus edition of Smelly Bill stories is perfect. It’s shaped like an ordinary paperback, but with a generous balance of pictures and text it is an ideal ‘halfway house’ choice. The book contains three Smelly Bill stories, each told in lively rhyme. The first introduces our hero, the scruffiest and stinkiest dog in town, and his arch enemy, the determined Great Aunt Bleach, who battle over Bill’s bath. In the second story Bill calls on his friends (including Stagnant Stan and Putrid Pete) for support, only to find that an army of aunties await, clutching their bottles of shampoo and bars of soap. And, in the final instalment, Bill finds love with Peachy Snugglekins, forcing him to clean up his act, if only temporarily. Each story moves along at a rattling pace, keeping the reader’s interest, while slipping in a range of different vocabulary. Not only will young readers laugh a lot, they will also learn a range of new words as they go. And given the charming nature of every tale, you won’t mind taking over if it gets too tricky.

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About the house

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Local author / About the house

Local author publishes fourth ‘Max Thatcher’ novel

ocal author Mike Smart from Slinfold is a BBC Radio and press featured author. He writes well received, fast moving thrillers which are packed with action and are deliberately short on flowery prose. The series all feature a lead character called Max Thatcher, an ex-SBS Special Forces operative who takes no prisoners. The books are written around contemporary themes which include the invasion of personal privacy (Gatekeeper); what happens in South Africa post Mandela (The Platinum Solution); global terrorism (Without Warning) while the latest novel, A Dragon’s Ransom, deals with drug cartels, family feuds and corporate skulduggery. Mike explains his approach: “I set out to entertain the reader. For me the most important characteristic of a good book is one that keeps the reader turning the pages. The feedback that I’ve received so far has been really encouraging. The books have had excellent reviews on Amazon and Goodreads and been favourably

compared with authors such as Lee Childs, Clive Cussler and Ian Fleming. “What has also been really pleasing is that the books seem to be enjoyed by men and women in equal measure.” The books are available in Paperback or Kindle versions from Amazon. There is currently a special promotion being run on Mike’s website www.mikesmartauthor.co.uk. One lucky reader is selected at random every month and offered £200 in return for writing a short review. “Rather than spend a lot of money on advertising I wanted to find a way of giving something back to my readers while at the same time encouraging those who had not read one of my books an incentive, by giving them a chance to make some money. In the worst case you get to read a really good story which hopefully the reader will enjoy; and if you are lucky not only do you get a great book but also a nice bonus for taking the chance in the first place.” Jane Middleton

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About the house

M.W. Wingate

Painting & Decorating Interior & Exterior Specialist in all Wall Coverings City & Guilds qualified Over 25 years experience Fully insured

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Kids of all ages / About the house

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Village Tweet Spot the Difference

Have fun this Guy Fawkes night but keep it safe! 12 differences – can you spot them all? Image supplied by EpicFireworks

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Community / About the house

Diary of a ‘Commuter’ Smallholder The continuing diary of Michaela Giles, a Billingshurst smallholder

y new Ross Cob meat birds for breeding are enormous. They are only a few months old and I can barely lift them, it’s nice to see them out of isolation and in a grass covered pen. How they will mate is going to be interesting watching, but I have been told by experts that they will mate and lay all year round so I will be able to let you know soon. The unseasonal warm weather lasting into the Get the Brasso out, beginning of October has seen the Brahmas have a resurge in laying, I’m not sure on how fertile they will be but I have popped a few in the incubator. It was only a few as well; we purchased a new Rottweiler puppy to give our big Rottie some company (after the recent demise of our ancient Jack Russell) and she has taken rather a liking to eggs and openly steals them. This year has been a bumper year for lamb orders and after one Twitter/Facebook post all are now allocated to customers and yet again we

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forgot to keep one back for ourselves. We have almost forgotten what our lamb tastes like! We have now completed the 2014 pig show season and didn’t win Pig of the Year (again) so again that aim is back on the list for 2015. The last show was The Royal Berkshire Show in Newbury and we came away with a Reserve Breed Champion with our Middle White gilt Cheryl – not a bad end to the show calendar. We now have a pile of trophies Michaela! to take to the engravers. Next year there will be three more British Pig Association affiliated shows nearby: Royal Egham, Chertsey and Edenbridge & Oxted. Locally held shows mean we don’t have to sleep in a cleaned-out livestock trailer aka ‘Hotel Ifor Williams’, which in the UK climate can be a blessing! Our last pig course for 2014 will be held in November and then I can hand my other half his DIY list for the house – he will be pleased! Michaela Giles www.tedfoldcottagefarm.co.uk

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About the house

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Ron Osborne Roofing All domestic roofing repairs and new roofs undertaken Tiles • Slates • Flat roofs Lead and hard metal specialist Over 30 years’ experience Testimonials available Call 01403 786776 Mobile 07926 397592 Email ronleadwork@yahoo.co.uk

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Community / About the house

Horsham District Council welcomes Gatwick flight path news

orsham District Council welcomes the news that changes to flight paths from Gatwick airport will be suspended until the end of 2015. Gatwick Airport ran a six-month trail of a departure route called ‘ADNID’ to gather data as part of wider work looking at how to use airspace more effectively and efficiently, as well as how to make the most of Gatwick’s single runway capacity. The trial, which ended on 8th August 2014, resulted in significant feedback from the community, as reported in August (page 46) and October (page 28) Village Tweet. The council opposed the changes to the flight paths, believing that the changes would have harmful implications for those communities both under and close to the new routes. It put the case for residents about changes to airspace

management and redirected all the complaints that were received about noise form aircraft overflying Warnham and the surrounding area to the noise monitoring team at Gatwick Airport. Cabinet Member for Living and Working Communities, Cllr Claire Vickers, said, “This is really good news for the communities who have recently been concerned about flight paths. However, while we have been given a reprieve, we will continue to work with our residents to ensure that their views continue to be represented in the future.” Heather Pepper, Communications Officer

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About the house

PRO ROOFING

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Remembrance / About the house

Stitching together spun yarns

n 2014 we have been remembering the loss and hardship suffered by many women in the First World War, and other wars. Generations of working class women have worked together to survive – encouraging, comforting, and supporting each other. ‘Stitch’, an art and jewellery exhibition in Horsham’s Capitol Theatre Art Gallery, is a modern day collaboration between Lang’s lace picture Karen Lang and Lunella Russell. It sews together women’s stories and seeks inspiration from traditional crafts. For this exhibition Karen has learnt basic pillow-lace making. Her great grandmother, Deborah, went to lace school at the age of six and went on to make Bedfordshire lace in her two-bedroomed thatched cottage, until she died in 1943 aged 93. She lost two of her 12 children in WW1 – Lewis at Flanders in December 1914 and then Edward Henry (awarded the Military Medal for bravery) at Gavrelle in May 1917. Karen reaches back through the generations by

using her lace in a picture that awards a medal for bravery to Deborah. Lunella’s grandmother, Betty, worked in a Lancashire cotton mill where she would collect near empty bobbins and take them home. Following WW2, when there were many shortages and she wanted a new stair carpet, she knitted one. Lunella tells her story on the shade of a standard lamp and has designed a silver ball of Russell’s ‘knit’ necklace yarn with knitting needles necklace. Much of Lunella’s jewellery designs link to items that you would find in a haberdashery. Other pieces in the exhibition combine the techniques of painting with sewing and quilting – mapping women’s stories, some autobiographical and defining collaborations. ‘Stitch’ is on at The Capitol Art Gallery until 7th November. It is the 3rd creative collaboration between Karen Lang and Lunella Russell. Karen Lang: www.langcollynsart.com Lunella Russell: www.silverdashery.com

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Out and about / About the house

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Re-Nu can transform your kitchen with made-to-measure replacement doors, drawers and worktops at a fraction of the cost of a new kitchen. We can also suppy and install any new appliances you may want built in; and we can supply and fit matching units or re-arrange existing ones. For further information contact Rosie on 01403 708444 or email rosie.wyer@dvltrust.org.uk www.dvltrust.org.uk

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Out and about / About the house Property Services Ltd Maintaining & Improving Your Property

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We will have on offer a comprehensive range of unique items from around the world and here at home, including upcycled, handmade and sustainable wooden items Something to suit all ages and pockets, purchase on the night or order for future delivery Come and join us and enjoy a drink with friends while browsing our range of items on offer

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Garden Tweet!

Hedge Your Bets!

K, so it’s a terrible heading, but November is the perfect time for planting new hedges, and at this time of year it’s a very safe bet. Prior to the use of containerised plants (which can be planted at almost any time of the year) planting between November and March was a gardener’s only option, and as far as the plants are concerned it’s still the best by far. When plants are dormant (asleep) they will hardly even notice being moved, and by spring when their new leaves emerge their roots will have already pushed through the surrounding soil in their new home. Hedges are often thought of as hard work, time consuming and have been at the centre of heated neighbourly debates (whether it’s cutting them too low or letting them grow too high). They are great for blocking out unsightly views, adding privacy, and also make a wonderful place for wildlife to live, rest and nest. For the past three years we’ve had a variety of birds nesting in our Yew hedge and the addition of extra life in the garden always pleases me. If you’re looking for a quick solution to a green screen, then you have two options, either instant (such as a two-metre high instant hedge, pregrown, trained and clipped, perfect for the impatient gardener), or Leylandii conifers. As I write this I can hear the screams, but it really is the best option for speed and it’s cost-effective. Do be aware that legally, as of a couple of years ago, you must keep its growth contained to two metres high if on a boundary (this does not apply to any other species).

JOHN POTTER WINTER GARDEN WORK Fencing • Tree work • Leaves cleared Gutters repaired and cleared Ditching • Pressure washing All types of work undertaken Tel: 01403 782914 Mobile: 07778 241396

s, ve ted s, ol ct ce on ha la er to ta la cti u -re ow s, on ll p se yo n (fl ed c wi n If rde ss sh ase e rde ga e s, le . W a a sin se c) p ay r G a u bu ho , et tod pul n s t o ee er ee p gr ow Tw our m ge in lla d Vi r a u yo

Garden View

For the more patient gardener, try the classic evergreen Yew hedging. Like most beautiful things in life, it’s more expensive to buy. It’s also slower growing (15-30cm per year), but does only require cutting once per year (in September), and will provide you with the most beautiful hedge. I also favour the evergreen Portuguese laurel, which has a smaller leaf than the more common Cherry laurel, or Beech if it doesn’t need to be evergreen. For a smaller hedge first choice has to be Box, but alternatives include Lavender, Berberis, Lonicera, and for the perfect no-cut low hedge go for a small Hebe (simply choose a variety which only grows to the height you actually want the hedge to grow to). Whichever hedge you choose, the ground preparation should be the same. For containerised, bare-root or root-balled hedges, dig out a trench which follows the line of the proposed hedge, this should be at least one and a half times wider and deeper than the rootball. Fork over the base of the trench and return some of the soil, so that when you plant the hedge it sits at the same level as previously planted (i.e. not too deep). Backfill with the removed soil, add a handful of bonemeal per plant, and dig in. Firm with your boot then water well before mulching with 5cm of compost, manure or bark clippings. Lee Bestall www.inspiredgardens.net Photo: Cutting a box hedge can be quite therapeutic!

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Garden Tweet!

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Canal Calendar / Garden Tweet!

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2015 Calendar showcases the best of the Wey & Arun Canal

Loxwood Canal und raising for Centre, which is the restoration open from 1pm to of the Wey & 5pm on Tuesdays Arun Canal, which and Thursdays and runs through Surrey at weekends from and Sussex, will get 11am to 4pm until a boost this month the end of by the sale of its December. 2015 calendar. Telephone (01403) The Wey & Arun 753999 to reserve a Canal Trust calendar copy for collection. – priced at £7 – is Copies can also be filled with beautiful ordered by post by images with plenty of calling (01403) space to add personal The Wey Wey & Ar Arun un Canal Trust Trust 2015 Calendar 752403 between diary notes. Funds 9am and 1pm Monday to Friday or by emailing raised from the sale of the calendars will be used office@weyandarun.co.uk. to help progress the restoration of the Wey & Further information about the restoration of the Arun Canal. Wey & Arun Canal see www.weyandarun.co.uk. The limited edition A4-size wall calendar is Sally Schupke, Chairman, WACT printed on high quality art paper with a page per www.weyandarun.co.uk month and a large box for each date. Photo: Calender cover, just one of many beautiful images Copies of the calendar are on sale at the

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Equine / Pets

Time to say goodbye

uthanasia is a very emotive subject to talk about but there comes a time in a horse owner’s life when we have to say goodbye to our much loved horse or pony. Sometimes it can happen in tragic circumstances such as sudden illness or an accident, but sometimes it is a hard decision that an owner has to make for the welfare of an animal in their care. It is very important to have a plan in place so you can make the best possible decisions at what is a very difficult and upsetting time. This article focuses mainly on planned euthanasia, where a horse’s condition may be deteriorating and quality of life is compromised. The decision to put a horse to sleep is an enormous one and your vet will be able to discuss your concerns with you. The British Horse Society and World Horse Welfare also have an advice line with trained professionals who will also be able to help you through the process both before and after euthanasia. Methods of euthanasia. There are two methods… The first is by lethal injection. This method involves the veterinary surgeon giving the horse an overdose of anaesthetic. The horse will be sedated first before the lethal dose is administered, the horse will sink to the ground and there may be some muscle twitching and movement from the horse’s legs which can be distressing for the owner; the vet will be monitoring the horse’s heart until it stops altogether. The other methof of euthanasia is by ‘Free bullet’. The local hunt is often the first port of call for euthanasia in horses and will be able to put the horse to sleep and dispose of the body as well after the event. Knackermen offer the same service. Both are very professional and experienced horsemen who will handle the situation in a calm and dignified manner. The horse will be led to a safe area and one bullet is used, the horse will fall to the ground very quickly and due to this reason the slaughter man will take charge of the horse rather than the owner. There will be some blood and some people will find the sound of the shot distressing. Disposal. Due to their size disposal of the horse’s body can present problems and it can costs on average £250 or more depending on the owner’s wishes. The most basic method is to have the body removed

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by the local knackerman or fallen stock scheme, this is also the cheapest method. If the horse has been put to sleep with the lethal injection the body cannot be used for animal feed and thus will need to be cremated. Burial is not an easy option; heavy machinery will be required both to dig the grave and manoeuvre the horse into it. There are also many environmental considerations and permission must be sought from you local authority before burying a horse on your land. Cremation. There are now many pet cemeteries offering both group and individual cremation and they will collect the body. The horse’s owner also has the choice of having the ashes returned. Your vet will be able to arrange for the horse’s body to be removed after euthanasia. Do take into account vehicular access that will be required for collection of the horse’s body, ideally a flat, dry field would be the perfect location to perform euthanasia although this is not always possible. Should I be present? Being present at the time of euthanasia is a very personal choice, the putting to sleep of such a big animal and removal of the body is a distressing process and some owners may prefer to say goodbye to the horse in his usual stable or paddock before handing the horse over to the vet or knackerman. There is no right or wrong way but what the horse will need most is a kind and calm handler at the end of his life and there is no shame in handing the lead rope over to a trusted friend at this time. If the horse has a special bond with another equine it can be a very good idea to let his friend touch and sniff the body so he realises where his friend has gone and doesn’t get stressed awaiting his return. The loss of a horse leaves a huge gap in an owner’s life. Take time through the grieving process, some people find the right thing to do is look for another horse to focus on while others like to take a break from horses to come to terms with their loss. The horses passport must be surrendered to the issuing agency after the the horse is euthanized. Jeannette Douglas. SQP, Qualified Horse Adviser. SPR Centre. www.sprcentre.co.uk

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Pets / Equine

Living with Laika – ‘Greetings!’

utumn – misty, moisty mornings and the first frost! Silver-tipped fields, the fairy gossamer of garden spiders hang like strings of pearls from fences and hedgerows and Laika is blowing steam from a panting mouth. I’m wearing a scarf now and gloves forgotten for months and found buried at the back of a drawer. Here is something else to fumble with as I conjure a poo bag from my jacket whilst holding her lead and another bag of ‘goodies’ from an earlier squat. Laika will be three years old in November and I’m probably fitter than I’ve been for years thanks to her! I’m hardly svelte but our daily forays into the world have provided for some sort of cardiovascular workout and for the development of my biceps brachii. She still barks and pulls towards cats that mostly appear unfazed by her antics and look at her with astonishment almost sympathetically in fact – must be able to see that a chase is futile as I hold the leash. Her relationship with other dogs on leads is somewhat ambivalent and varies from a sudden forward movement and bark to a complete lack of attention. Larger dogs generally benefit better

from her absence of acknowledgment and elderly dogs are positively invisible as they pad by, rheumyeyed and stiff – a life-time of companionship drawing in – RESPECT! No, it’s the smaller dogs that tend to receive Laika’s ministrations. Invariably, THEY start it first! Ask any child and it’s always someone else’s fault! Barking, lunging, straining at the lead, Laika has to join in – apologies all round from owners – no damage done – greetings given I suppose and new acquaintances made. A part of a dog-walkers’ life as our paths cross. I always find that a cheery “Good morning” or “Afternoon” helps to strengthen canophile bonds and helps to put Laika at ease. We are generally a social lot and I delight in offering a greeting to those we meet on our travels – this isn’t a bustling metropolis after all but a small rural community in West Sussex with only one Tesco Express! Try giving a salutation to a commuter catching the 07.14 hrs train to London Victoria however! Ron Myal

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Community

Masters of the DIY budget will allow, large drills and lots of masonry drill bits. (It’s doubtful if they will ever get used but they are guaranteed to make fellow enthusiasts a tad jealous.) It does help, chaps, if you do contemplate any years ago It was a recognised fact trying tasks requiring such equipment, that you that if all the baler twine in the country first try and seek out the item known as ‘The Stop suddenly ceased to exist, then three Cock Tap’. This is usually hidden somewhere things would happen. A great deal of the secretive in the kitchen area. If you are fortunate machinery on the countries farms would fall enough to locate it you will find it has been apart, half of all farm gates would fall down – as scientifically designed to seize up so solid that it would a fair proportion of farmers’ trousers. would require the muscles of This was, and still is, all down to Samson to free it. The highly the sheer skill that us men have in trained ‘DIY’ artist can at this point ‘doing a bodge-up’. sometimes succeed in actually I thought that this month I would fracturing the wretched thing as he like to express to the good ladies does battle, and this can, and has who read this missive, the hope been known, to result in two or that they do appreciate the degree three weeks of silence and frosty of effort and dexterity that us glares from you-know-who, as well fellows put into this craft, perhaps as a distinctly smug and selfbetter known as ‘Do It Yourself.’ satisfied smirk on the face of the I’m confident, ladies, that most of plumber who you are forced to call the men in your lives do at times try out at emergency rates. to impress you with their technical The list goes on endlessly. prowess when attacking some task “John is into DIY… Draining the air out of the around the house. So… I have laid ‘Destroy It Yourself!’” radiators – where does all that out here some of the rules that black muck come from that has dribbled over the govern the principals of ‘Home Improvements’. hall carpet? Replace that dripping tap washer – First, ladies, are the tools. Men like tools, in just how many types of washers are there for fact I would venture to say that we love them. I those blasted mixer taps and how do you figure would even go so far as to say that B&Q and out how to get into the damn things’ internals in Screwfix are two of the best toyshops in town. the first place. I leave it to you… but I feel I The bigger the tool the better, and if they are should warn you that a pipe wrench can leave a noisy creators of dust and mayhem, superb. Of rather nasty gash on the shining chrome of your course, we males are never that sure on how to sinks faucets. How do I know this? use them, but we do attempt, in our blind Still, my gallant heroes, onward… That sticking ignorance, to use as many as we can while door. Just a little off the side edge with the plane. taking on even the most simple of tasks. There! Now all you have to do is try to ignore the I do here include my own prowess in making easterly gale that now wafts through the gap you many ‘designer improvements’ to our house’s have provided, but it’s easily cured by hanging a décor. A simple shelf is an easy first effort. Sturdy heavy curtain in front of it. You just have to get enough to take several items of a lightish the toolbox and you can soon have that rod fixed composition, and providing they are not round above the door. and thus liable to roll, they are more or less What? The lintel is solid concrete? Never guaranteed to stay there forever. I do suggest mind, those three or four exploratory holes you that some larger pieces be placed at the points have made will fill up easily with Polyfiller. You where the shelf is fixed to the wall as this does can paint over them sometime later. Maybe. do away with the necessity to repair the plaster So there you have it, ladies. Us males are that has flaked off as their bulk may well be used slaves to bodging. We will try most things once, to mask these slight imperfections. and on occasion we do make some sort of hamOnce this simple task has been mastered and fisted, half-successful finish to the task. Perhaps we craftsmen have recovered from the abuse this little essay will persuade you to purchase a that can sometimes result from our efforts, we can progress to more detailed and larger tasks. few tools for the old man’s Christmas stocking. Try plumbing, for instance… He’ll be over the moon with delight if you do, I This will naturally require more tools. Special guarantee it. tools, my friends. Wrenches and soldering irons, Now… what about those electrics! hacksaws and lots of copper piping, and if the John Nash John Nash is a retired, well sort of retired, fruit farm manager in Kirdford who enjoys scribbling about life on the farm from the now to days gone by.

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Bees / Property letting

Fishers Helping to Save our British Honey Bees

he Family Bee project at Fishers Adventure Farm Park is a venture to save our British honey bees. Honey bees perform an essential job in pollinating a wide range of farm crops, vegetables, fruit and many wild plants. Our honey bees are under threat like never before, with their numbers declining. One of the major factors causing this decline is intensive agriculture, seen in the widespread use of pesticides and herbicides. This has contributed to a loss of habitat and forage for our bees. The other factor is the introduction of the Varroa mite from Asia in the late ’80s and early ’90s, resulting in the decimation of our feral bee population. The overwhelming majority of honey bees in the UK are kept in hives by beekeepers. A local venture has begun to help the plight of the honey bees on the Sussex/Surrey border. Going from hobbyists to professional bee keepers, Fiona Juckes and Mike Stone, have created The Family Bee project. As bee keepers they want to build partnerships with organisations that promote conservation. Their vision is to make their hives accessible to all age

groups and to help educate people on the importance of bees in the community. Fishers Adventure Farm Park in Wisborough Green is the first location in their project. Park owner, Tim Rollings commented, “We were pleased to volunteer our help with this essential ecological idea.” Fishers have started with four traditional Langstroth hives in their newly planted orchard, located not far from the family farm park. Each hive has one queen bee with a colony of up to 60,000 bees. Honey bees construct wax honeycombs in which they store honey and their young (brood). The Family Bee plan to produce Fishers Farm Honey which will be available in the farm shop next year. Eating honey produced within a three-mile radius of where you live has shown to have beneficial effects for hayfever and asthma sufferers. For more details of The Family Bee please email Fiona and Mike at info@thefamilybee.co.uk. Melanie McAlpine, mel@fishersfarmpark.co.uk Photo: Graeme McAlpine

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Music / Little Tweeters!

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Motoring

Slot Car Racing in Ifold Interested? If so, please read on… Consideration is being given to creating a slot car racing club to meet in Ifold at Kelsey Hall. With plans already advanced, now is the time to gauge interest in this proposed club before further steps are taken. Meetings are provisionally planned to take place every 2nd Wednesday, with consideration given to an additional meeting on 4th Wednesdays. Times are likely to be from 7.30-10.30pm. Estimated cost would be about £2.50-£3 per session. A wide range of classes is planned – classes and rules are available on request. Racing will be on modern Scalextric Sport two-lane track though other types may be used now and then.

The initial circuit will measure approximately 16' x 4' 6". Members will provide their own cars. Initial plans are for perhaps a maximum of 12 full/forming members, a possible limit for a two-lane track. A commitment to attend on a regular basis from at least six members would be needed to make the club workable. Members making this commitment will be automatically included in each night’s racing. Once the club is up and running consideration will be given to Junior members who will have to be accompanied by a parent. The parent may share in the racing. Those who would be interested in becoming full/forming members will be invited to Kelsey Hall to discuss the formation of the club, and discussing the suggestions already made. At this meeting a decision will be made whether or not a club will be formed. Please contact Peter Seager-Thomas on (01403) 753447 or email prseagerthomas@btinternet.com.

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Spitfire! / Private hire / Motoring

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Little Tweeters!

More about pigs

Once upon a time on a small farm near Billingshurst…

ottie and Twiglet were really enjoying the early autumn in their dry pen and Humphrey’s old ark. Jerry, Anne and Gary’s helping man, had strimmed the long weeds that had grown over the summer. Mary and Nanny fed them twice a day with lovely crunchies and other delicious goodies, it was warm and they still had their wonderful squishy sloppy wallow to enjoy. So it was with some curiosity that they noticed strange goings on in the other ark – the one closer to the electric fence, which they both had decided to abandon after backing into the fence on a number of occasions. It was true that they had to walk over a bit farther to where they had their meals from Humphrey’s ark but at least they didn’t get zapped. But they were curious, so as they dozed in the warm September sun, they watched closely to see Softly softly catchee what on earth Nanny and Grandad were doing now… First they saw Nanny digging around in front of the ark where there was a space between the entrance and the electric fence. It took her two whole mornings to finish whatever it was. Then, after Nanny was gone they wandered over to have a look. She had levelled all the ground that had been churned up after a couple of days’ rain The mud had dried out in the sun and looked and felt like the some other world landscape. Dottie and Twiglet thought that was quite nice and lay down on Nanny’s nice level(ish) efforts and were still asleep there when Mary came to feed them. Over the next couple of days they watched as Nanny crawled around in the ark, shoving lumps of old straw and mud out of the ark. It was with great interest to observe how she nearly lost her short gumboot in the mud of the wallow. Scabbling around in her socks she had to get the shovel and dig it out. Grandad came over at that point and asked her why she was behind the ark. “I trying to get my gumboot out,”, she said. “Well, what are you doing with the shovel then?” he slyly asked. “Digging the bothersome thing out,” she snarled. Grandad laughed. “What did you go in there for in the first place?” By that time she had retrieved the

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mud-laden object and threw it at him. The next day Dottie and Twiglet came over to watch Grandad doing some hammering and sawing. They wondered what he was up to. When he finally finished making a large wooden platform and had gone. away Dottie noticed some black plastic that had been placed on the floor of the ark. On top of it were some more wooden platform thingies. Dottie thought she had better test-taste the plastic before she went to sleep and then wrapped it round herself before dozing off. Nanny was not too pleased. What Dottie and Twiglet did not realise was that Nanny was trying out an idea (she was after all very good at ideas, unfortunately not always wonderful) that she had formed last year when there had been so much rain and the pigs had had to deal with the very deep pig! and very cold mud both in their pens and in their arks. The mud was so deep that even Bill’s long gumboots got stuck a few times when he was trying to put fresh straw into the arks. In the meantime, poor Dottie got an infection. Anne rang the vet who was kind enough to come out on the weekend. He gave Dottie the once over and gave Anne and Gary some medicine and syringes with separate needles. They had to inject her once a day for four days. They worked out a system. Gary stuck the needle in and, when Dottie had stopped squealing and running around, Anne put the syringe into the attached needle and pushed the medicine in. The first two days Dottie settled down quickly and Anne was able to easily finish the job. But after that Dottie got wise, or maybe she was simply on the mend. Either way, once she felt the needle go in and squealed, she led them a merry chase all around the pig pen. Frustration all round. Dottie with a needle in her bum and Anne stumbling over the rough dried mud of the pig pen clutching the syringe. So once again normality is restored and the pigs are very happy with life and watching what happens next on the little farm near Billingshurst. Yvonne Fleece Photo: Grahame Pearson

Village Tweet Quick Crossword Solution Puzzle on page 10 Across: 1, RARELY. 4, CHIEF. 8, MASON. 9, ILL WILL. 10, KILLJOY. 11, STUN. 12, ASP. 14, BEAM. 15, LYNX. 18, PRY. 21, EASY. 23, EXCLUDE. 25, HARBOUR. 26. RURAL. 27, LIBRA. 28, EMPLOY. Down: 1, REMAKE. 2, RESOLVE. 3, LONG JUMP. 4, CALM. 5, IDIOT. 6, FELONY. 7, LIBYA. 13, PLECTRUM. 16, NEUTRAL. 17, LETHAL. 19, YEARN. 20, MEDLEY. 22, SCRUB. 24, YOGA.

Computing and IT

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The sounds of bells ringing… Sound computer and IT advice from Bax Computer Services

o, it’s not the cheery sounds of Christmas we are talking about but the cha-ching of the tills as we all start to get our present lists in order. As you know we love our gadgets, so here is our list of five cool and techy presents to buy kids, big and small (or just those people that are really hard to buy for!). iPhone Arcadie. Gamers, rejoice! Using free games from the app store, you can slot your iPhone into the back of the Arcadie unit, and voila, you have your very own arcade unit. Complete with 8-way joystick and dual-action buttons, this awesome unit will have you feeling like you’re bad in the arcade for real! MaKey MaKey Creation Kit. Any tech toy that can play piano using a bunch of bananas is worth a second look. MaKey MaKey is an open-ended creation kit that connects your PC with any object of your choice. Whether they want to control their own computers with a Play-Doh structure or play Dance Dance Revolution using a few pieces of cardboard, little people can accomplish their goals using this reasonably priced kit and very little technical know-how. Hot Cookie USB Cup Warmer. Cold tea no

more, keep your cuppa hot by putting it on the USB powered Cup Warmer. When working hard means you don’t have time to even stop and take a sip of your drink, this trusty cup warmer will save you getting up to brew numerous cups of tea and coffee. Wireless Touch Speaker. Lose all the extras and get with the technological times with this fantastic Touch Speaker. One of the first devices to use debut wireless Near Field Audio (NFA) technology, this little baby needs no configuring of LANs or plug-in cables. Simply set your audio device on top of the speaker and watch it come alive! The Speaker uses its NFA to pick up on the phone’s frequency and amplify the sound so you can have your atmosphere quickly and without the extra fuss. Sen.se Mother. This amazing gadget connects to your home network and keeps track of what you eat, steps you take and where your kids are, all the while looking at you with its green glowing eyes. The Mother is available for pre-order for a princely sum of around £135, and is expected to ship in February. So, not in time for Christmas but so cool we just had to mention it… Bax Computer Services (www.baxcomputers.co.uk)

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Out and about / Legal services

“It’s Showtime” in Billingshurst with Slinfold Concert Band

y popular request, Slinfold Concert Band is coming back to perform at Billingshurst Community and Conference Centre on Sunday 16th November. The concert, entitled “It’s Showtime”, starts at 3pm and is intended purely for your entertainment. The Band’s Musical Director, Christopher Newport, has created a new programme featuring some well-known tunes from stage and screen. The pieces are a diverse range of old and new, lively and relaxing, serious and lighthearted. We’re confident there’ll be something for everyone to enjoy – and, with refreshments available during the interval, what better way to

cheer up a cold, dreary November afternoon? Tickets at the bargain price of £8 for adults and £1 for those aged 18 and under, are available on the door or in advance from Jengers Craft Bakery, Jengers Mead, Billingshurst, or Slinfold Village Store, Slinfold, or from the Band itself on (01483) 416240. If you would like further information about the Band, including forthcoming engagements, or think you might be interested in joining us, please go to our website, www.slinfoldconcertband.org. We look forward to seeing you on the 16th! Chris Youngman Publicity Officer, Slinfold Concert Band Photo: Slinfold Concert Band, Cranleigh, November 2013

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GU 29 9 NS

01243 787899

L ONGMOR E & HIGH A M

68 High Street Billingshurst West Sussex

with

01730 812201

BE V IS ROW N T R E E

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01403 782710

Solicitors

Billingshurst Parish Council £10,000 per annum for Youth Initiatives Billingshurst Parish Council is in the second year of a £10,000 per annum Contract with Horsham Matters to provide a Community Youth Worker for Billingshurst. Dan Jenkins has been meeting Billingshurst young people and community organisations to find out what young people want in Billingshurst. As a result of his work, a new Youth Club has begun at the Jubilee Fields Sports Pavilion on a Tuesday evening 6.30pm to 8.30pm. It has proved to be incredibly popular with 30 young people aged 13-16 attending. They have an exciting programme planned for this year which includes a residential camp with the other Youth Clubs in the Horsham district.

‘mocktail’ showing a good understanding of the dangers surrounding alcohol consumption. The day is packed with master-classes and the winning team from each school goes to South Lodge Hotel to represent their school in the final in front of a panel of VIP judges. Mocktail Apprentice is coming to the Weald School this November!

Skate Park Opening A new skate park will be opening in Natts Lane shortly. Join Dan and the Parish Council for the grand opening, for further information www.billingshurst.gov.uk, follow us on Twitter @BillingshurstPC or Facebook Billingshurst Parish Council

“This is fantastic! Can you run this every night?” Dad dropping his son off to Jubilee Fields Youth Club Dan also participates in meetings with multi agencies including Sussex Police working with young people whose behaviour could lead to Acceptable Behaviour Contracts or Anti-Social Behaviour Orders to provide help and early intervention. Horsham Matters also have a contract to provide a Youth Worker for St Mary’s Youth Club. Ben has recently joined St Mary’s Youth Club and will be joining Dan to do some detached youth work out and about in Billingshurst. Dan is also hoping to join the Street Pastors out and about in Billingshurst. Dan meets regularly with Cllrs. Margetts, Wilding and the Clerk to provide an update on his work to the Council and discuss new ideas. Dan is also involved in the district wide alcohol awareness initiative called ‘Mocktail Apprentice’. Running in schools Dan supporting the for the whole of school year 9, Mocktail project at each class has to design, make this year’s final. and present a non-alcoholic

Please can you spare a couple of hours a month? Just a couple of hours a month as part of a team to run the youth club on a rota basis would help the Youth Club to continue to grow and deliver an exciting programme for Billingshurst young people. Are you interested in a career in youth work? Brinsbury College are considering running a City and Guilds level 2 qualification in Youth Work. Contact Dan for further information.

Young Person with Big Ideas? Contact Dan Tel: 07768 563109 @: danjenkins@horsham-matters.org.uk Facebook: facebook.com/CommunityYouthWork

Next Parish Council Meeting – Wednesday 3rd December

01403 782555 council@billingshurst.gov.uk

www.billingshurst.gov.uk

Billingshurst Parish Council

Editorial and advertising enquiries: 07762 767084, editor@villagetweet.co.uk

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ADVERTISERS INDEX November 2014 A-Team Mechanics............................38 Abby’s Grooming Parlour ..................32 A/c’s Direct, Accounting ......................5 ADC Appliances ................................22 AM Beauty Clinic...............................15 Ali’s Just 2 Gorgeous Nails ...............15 Anderson Rowntree Solicitors...........42 Apex Aerials ......................................28 Bax Computers .................................41 Bennetts Chimney Sweep.................23 Biji Property Services........................28 Billingshurst Dental Practice .............13 Billingshurst Leisure Centre ..............12 Billingshurst Osteopaths ...................11 Billingshurst Parish Council...............43 Billingshurst Service, Repair & MOT Centre...................................39 Brazier Building Solutions .................25 Cracknell Pit-Draffen, Estate Agent .........................................OBC Cubitt & West, Estate Agent................4 Davis Foot Care Clinic ......................11 Delta Decor .......................................17 Dame Vera Lynn Trust.......................27 Falcon/Willetts Equine Feeds............33 Fishers Farm Park.............................37 Flackwoods Solicitors........................10 Flow-serve, Plumbing, Drainage, Heating..........................................18 Fowlers, Estate Agent .........................3

Fresh Start, Fitness & Nutrition.........14 GB Glazing........................................25 GJ Coles, Builder ..............................18 Goring Road Carpet Centre..............23 Hallam Trim, Window Cleaning .........27 Hamilton Cole, TV & Satellite Equipment .....................................17 Hardwood Seasoned Logs................21 HJS Land Services ...........................30 Holly Boilers ......................................16 Home & Away Gifts ...........................28 Home Interior Painting Services .......21 Hydropower .......................................18 Jane Sharp, Piano Tuition .................37 John Potter Garden Work..................29 Jonathan Carter Tree Surgery...........29 KJ Lammas Plumbing & Heating ......21 Leaf & Seed, Female Gardener ........31 Lee’s Locks .......................................23 Limeburners Pub.................................9 Mac’s Private Hire .............................39 Miss Mop Domestic Cleaning ...........19 Mrs Muscle Domestic Cleaning ........24 MW Wingate Painting & Decorating..19 N Francis Electrical Ltd .....................24 Oven Rescue ....................................19 Ovens & More ...................................25 Pest B Off..........................................22 Pest Man ...........................................28 Petworth Logs ...................................28

PJM, Building & Property Maintenance..................................27 Pride & Groom Mobile Grooming......34 Pro Roofing & Property Maintenance..................................25 Queens Head Pub ..............................7 Rebecca Beauty Therapist................11 REM Landscapes..............................30 Re-Nu Kitchens .................................27 Ron Osborne Roofing .......................23 Slinfold Golf & Country Club ...........IBC Smiths Gore Property Lettings..........36 Southwater Cycles ............................15 Spitfire Experience............................39 Sussex & Surrey Tree Services.........30 Sussex Carpet Brokers .....................20 Sussex Chimney Sweeping ..............19 Sussex Towing Brackets....................39 The Hungry Guest...............................8 Tip Top Tutors....................................37 Totally Garage Doors ........................26 Village Nurseries...............................31 Vivace Chorus...................................37 West Sussex Electrics & Property Maintenance...................17 Willow, Clothing, Jewellery & Accessories .................................6 Willows Cattery .................................32 Woodpeckers, House & Garden Building & Maintenance ................22

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Health and wellbeing

Opening of Driving Range at Slinfold Golf & Country Club

linfold Golf and Country Club are pleased to announce that their newly refurbished driving range will be opening mid-October 2014. With 14 undercover bays and 5 outdoor bays, the 250 yard range is sure to be the envy of golf clubs from miles around. Our driving range bays have been decorated and refurbished, with new outfield targets, new mats and a stock of 30,000 ‘2 piece’ Srixon range balls on site. Our 14 undercover bays will enable golfers to practice all year round, along with the creation of a new pathway to lead from the front of the clubhouse directly to the driving range, making access from the main car park easy. The redevelopment of the driving range has produced a fantastic ‘free draining’ outfield that has a gradual incline away from the bays that allows the golfer to see the ball land, right up to 250 yards! The design also allows water to drain away freely from the outfield, enabling us to

collect the balls with ease 12 months of the year. Club General Manager, Dominic Eagle, says “We believe our redeveloped driving range will be the premier facility in the surrounding area, and we welcome both members and non-members to the range.” Slinfold Golf and Country Club has experienced many exciting additions and improvements to its facilities over the past few years which included a multi-million pound new build and refurbishment of the Club House back in 2009. The new addition of the state-ofthe-art gym, pool, studios, locker rooms, treatment rooms, crèche and refurbished dining area have proved a huge success and has helped see the Club become one of the premiere Country Club facilities in West Sussex and over the Surrey border. Check out our new website www.slinfoldclub.co.uk where you can see more details about the Driving Range alongside all our other facilities.

Slinfold GOLF & COUNTRY CLUB

Slinfold, your local club...

JOIN NOW AND

PAY NOTHING *UNTIL JANUARY 2015

Become a member today and pay no joining fee or subs until January 2015, and start enjoying all these fantastic facilities... U State-of-the-art gym U Fab fitness classes U Modern lounge & bar

Call 01403

U Fully staffed creche U Steam room & spa pool U 18 hole golf course U Relaxing retreat Spa U Full size swimming pool

792620 or visit www.slinfoldclub.co.uk 47