The Millionaire Dropout: Fire Your Boss. Do What You Love. Reclaim Your Life! Vince Stanzione

YourWorstEnemyandYourBestFriend

LearningtoLoveYourself

Unlessyoucanlearntobeateasewithyourownmindandbody,success isgoingtobeavery,verysteephilltoclimb.

Mostofusareunhappywithsomethingaboutourselves.Eitherwe aretooshort,tootall,toofat,toothin,haveabignose,bigears,orbig hands.Evenso-calledsupermodelsareunhappywithpartsoftheirbody. Aswellasphysicalfeatures,manyofusfeelunhappyaboutourmental abilities,too.Thesebadfeelingsholdusback.Sohowcanweovercome ourinsecurity,fears,andfailings?

First,writethemdown.Listwhatyoudon’tlikeaboutyourself,and thenanalyzewhatyoucandoaboutit.Betotallyobjective.Areyour earsreallythatbig?(Bytheway,Ireadthatpeoplewithbigearslive longer.)

Onceyou’veopenlyanalyzedthelist,crossoffeverythingyoucan’t doanythingabout.Physicallycrossingoutitemswithapenwillhelp mentallyremovethemfromyourmind.Inthiselectronicage,thereis stillmerittopenandpaper.

Asfortheremainingshortcomings,whatcanyoudoaboutthem? Forphysicalproblemslikeweight,youcantakeaction.Ifbeing overweightismakingyouunhappyandinsecure,youmustdosomethingaboutit(I’lltalkmoreaboutdietandexerciselater).

Asforheight,Ibelievepeoplewhothinktheyaretooshortcan increasetheirheightthroughexerciseandimprovingtheirposture,as alreadymentioned.

Inthisdayandage,somepartsofourbodycanbeimprovedby plasticsurgery.Thereisapriceforthis,however bothinmoneyand physicalsuffering andyoumay findyourselfnohappierafterthe procedure.

It’squitecommonforpeopletofeelobsessivelyunhappywith anotherpartoftheirbodyfollowingplasticsurgery.Manypeoplespend thousandsofpoundsonsurgery,onlyto findthemselvesinacycleof findingfaultwiththeirbody.Oncepeoplehavecosmeticsurgery,they oftenwantmoresurgery,untilthey’vehadthewholemenu!

Justlikeeverythinginlife,the mind isreallywhereitallstarts.It’sall aboutperception.Ifyou’relookingforfaultinyourbody,you’ll findit.

Ibelievecosmeticsurgerydoeshaveitsplace,especiallyfor rectifyingbirthdefects,majorskinproblems,orscarringafteran

54 THE MILLIONAIRE DROPOUT

accident.However,ifyouwantcosmeticsurgeryforvanityreasons, thereisusuallyadeeperprobleminside,whichmeansmostlikelythe problemisinyourmind.

Youshouldbelieveinyourownbodyandmind.Whenyoustart thinkingmorepositively,throughpositivementalprogramming,you’ll findmanyofyourshortcomingscanbeeliminated,simplybythinking themaway.

Othershortcomingscanbeovercomebyattendingtrainingcourses orchangingyourlifestyle.Forexample,shynesscanbehelpedagreat dealbypublic-speakingclasses.Ahealthylifestyleandgoodeatingcan helpweightandpostureproblems.Forgeneralwellbeing,associating yourselfwithwinnersandotherpositivelyprogrammedpeoplewillhelp youimmensely.

Manyinsecuritiesandinadequaciesaremanufacturedbycompanies tryingtosellyousomething.I’ msureyou ’veseenTVadspresentinga problemandthenofferingasolution.

StopWorryingToday

Mylifeusedtobenegativelyaffectedbyworrying.Iwasamasteratit.If therewasadegreeinworrying,Ishouldhavetakenit Iwouldhave passedwith flyingcolors.Idon’tknowwhyIworriedsomuch,asit certainlydidn’tmakelifeanybetter.However,overtheyearsI’ ve learnedtoreducemyworryingbyprovingtomyself,timeaftertime, thatwhatIworryaboutneverhappens.Ihaven’tstoppedworrying completely,butIhavelearnedtochannelmyenergyintotakingcareof legitimateproblems,ratherthanworryingaboutanythingand everything.

Herearesomethingsmanyofusworryabout:

1.ThingsThatAreUnlikelytoHappen

Worryingaboutthingsthatwillprobablyneverhappenmakes youfeelbadandwearsyoudown.Iusedtoputalotofenergyinto worryingaboutunlikelyoccurrences,butIlearnedworryingislike visualizingfailureinsteadofsuccess.WhenIstartedputtingmy energyintovisualizingsuccessinstead,mylifechangedforthe better.

2.ThingsThatHaveAlreadyHappened

Worryingaboutthingsthathavealreadyhappenedisapointlessexercise.Itwon’tchangetheoutcomeanddoesn’tmakeyou feelbetter.Iusedtocarrynegativethoughtsovertothenextday, butnowIcloseoffyesterday’sworryandstarteverydayafresh.

3.WorryingaboutHealthProblemsThatAren’tReal

Iusedtowakeupinthemiddleofthenightandconvince myselfIwasdying.EventhoughtherewasnoevidencethatIwas terminallyill,I’dworryjustthesame.SometimesI’dreadarticles aboutillness,andthenbeconvincedIhadthatillness.Now,thanks topositivementalprogrammingandahealthydiet,Idon’tworry aboutanyhealthproblemsthataren’treal.

4.WorriesCreatedbyPeopleSellingProducts

Iusedtobeasuckerforadvertising.IfIreceivedasalesletter tellingmeIcouldbeatriskofXYZ,andIshouldbuyacertain product,I’dworry.Manyadsarewrittentoplayonourworries,and they’reveryeffective.Thekeyistorememberthattheworryhas beencreatedtosellyousomething.Remindyourselfthatyounever hadthatworryuntilsomeonetoldyoutohaveit.

5.LegitimateWorries

Legitimateworriesarewhereoureffortsshouldbeplaced. Normally,legitimateworriesareonlyabout5to10percentof allworries.Alegitimateworryissomethingyoucantakeactionto solve.Forexample,ifyou’veplannedanoutdoorweddingtomorrowandyou’reworriedabouttheweather,youcantakeactionby havingtentsonstandby.

Perhapsyou’ re flyingabroadtomorrow,andareworriedyou won ’tmakethe flightontime.Planoutyourtriptotheairport, leavingplentyofleewayincaseanythinggoeswrong,andyou’llfeel muchbetter.

Positiveactionwillhelpyouovercomelegitimateworries.If youcan ’ttakepositiveaction,thenyourworryisn’tlegitimate.

TipstoHelpYouDealwithWorries

1.DefineYourWorry

Thinkclearlyaboutwhatyourworryreallyis,andifithelps, writeitdown.

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2.AskYourselfHowYouCanRemoveorReducetheWorry

Ifthereisnothingyoucando,stopworrying.Killtheworrywith positivethoughts.

3.IfYouCanRemoveorReducetheWorry,WriteanActionPlan

Youmayneverneedtouseyouractionplan,butknowingit’ s therewillhelpyoustopworrying.

4.Askyourself, IsThereaWaytoEliminatetheWorry?

Manyworriescanbeeliminatedentirely,withalittlepositive thinkingandplanning.Let’staketheexampleoftheoutdoorwedding.Isthereanywaytochangetheweddingvenueandholdit indoors?Ifthereis,youcanremovetheproblemandremovetheworry.

WhyWorry?

Somewordsofwisdomforyou...

Thereisonlyeveronethingworthworryingabout:Areyouwellor areyousick?

Ifyouarewell,thenyouhavenothingtoworryabout.

Ifyouaresick,you’lleithergetwellordie.

Ifyougetwell,thereisnothingtoworryabout.

Ifyoudie,you’lleithergotoheavenorhell.

Ifyougotoheaven,thereisnothingtoworryabout.

Ifyougotohell,youwillbesobusyshakinghandswithfriends, youwillnothavetimetoworry.

Idon’tknowwhowrotetheabove,butIthoughtitwasworth includinginthebook.Hopefullyitputasmileonyourface.

SummaryonWorrying

Concentrateonlegitimateworries.Throwallotherworriesoutofyour mind.Usepositivethoughtstoblasttheworriesoutofyourhead.You don’thavetimetocarrythemaround.Ispeakfromexperience. Worryingaboutthingsthatmightneverhappenmademeilland stoppedmegettingonwithmylifeandachievingsuccess.

Isworryingholdingyouback?Ifitis,tryprogrammingyourmind withadailydeclarationsuchas, “IamincontrolofmylifeandIdon’t haveanyworries.”

Finally,Ithoughtthatyou’dbeinterestedtoknowtheresultsofa survey,whichaskedpeopleabouttheirfearsandworries.Herearethe top10answers:

Withtheexceptionofnumberseven,wecandosomethingabout alltheabovefears.Afearofpublicspeakingcanbeovercomewith practice,andmanyoftheotherfearscanbedealtwithbyhypnosis.

Inordertosucceed,yourdesireforsuccessshouldbegreaterthanyour fearoffailure.Idon’tknowthekeytosuccess,butthekeytofailureis tryingtopleaseeverybody.

BillCosby

THE MILLIONAIRE DROPOUT

thepastisonethingthatthisbookcan’thelpyouwith.Whathas alreadyhappenedishistory.

Thisbookwillhelpyoulooktothefuture,andseehopeand happinessinthebrighterthingsahead.

Manypeopledwellonifsandwhys,butwallowingandtorturing yourselfoverthepasthasnopositiveeffect.Channelyourenergiesand focusonthefuture,becauseyoucandosomethingabouttomorrow,but youcan ’tdoanythingaboutyesterday.

Insteadofrunningtowardsourdreams,weareoftenrunningawayfrom afearoffailureorafearofcriticism.

EricWright

MagicWordsorTragicWords?

THEOLDSAYING, “STICKSAND stoneswillbreakmybones,butwordswill neverhurtme” isalittlemisleading.Wordshaveamazingpowers,both positiveandnegative.Words,bothinwrittenformandspokenform, canchangethewaywefeelandact.

Wordscanmakeuslaugh,cry,andcooperate.Theycanalsocause hurtfeelings,anger,andirritation.

Spokenwordshaveextrapower,asthereistheaddedfactorof emotionandtoneofvoice.

Ourmindistalkingallday.Youhavearound50,000thoughtseach day,alldeliveredbyyourinnervoice.Ifyouensurethatmostofyour thoughtsarepositive,youwillgiveyourselfabigadvantageinlifeand willfeelchargedupfromwithin.

Whenitcomestotalkingoutloud,you’veprobablyalsoheardthe saying, “Ifyoucan’tsayanythingnice,don’tsayanythingatall.” Very true,andasayingI’dadviseyoutoliveby.

WhenIworkedforabigcompany,therumormillworkedovertime. Peoplegossiped,startedrumors,andgenerallybad-mouthedeachother. They’dtellmeaboutJoedownthecorridor,andsoon,butIwouldstay outofanygossip.Thosewhotalkaboutothersbehindtheirbackswill talkaboutyou,too.That’safact.

Don’tgetinvolvedinthesetypesofconversation.Riseabovethem, andIguaranteeyouwillgainmorerespect.Intoday’selectronicage,

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thisalsoappliestoe-mails,chatrooms,andFacebook.Thinktwice beforepostinganymessageyoumaylaterregret.Postinganonymously isn’tagoodidea,either thesedays,peoplecanbetracedveryeasily.

TragicPhrases

Somewordsareforlosers,notwinnerslikeyou.Iwantyoutosaygoodbyetophraseslikethese:

“IknowI’mgoingtomissthebus.” (SaythatandI’msureyouwill.)

“It’snotmydaytoday.” (Keeptellingyourselfthatand yes,you ’ll haveabadday.)

“IwishIwasstillinbed.” (Therearemillionsofsickpeoplewho wouldgladlyswapyourlifefortheirdeathbed.)

“I’mscaredofcomputers.” (I’veneverbeenbeatenuporhitbya computer.)

“Ican’tunderstand...” (Itcouldbethatyoudon’twantto understand.)

“He’salwayspickingonme.”

“Iknewthiswasabadidea.”

WordstoErasefromYourLife

Doom,lowself-esteem,pessimism,defeat,gloom,misery,negativism, anger,failure,malice,bitterness,ignorance,anxiety,hatred,andlosing. You’llseealotofthesewordsinnewspapers.Why?Because unfortunatelybadnewssellsbetterthangoodnews,somuchofthe mediaaroundyouarefocusedonnegativestoriesandwords.

MagicPhrases

“Todayisagoodday,andit’sgettingbetter.”

“Iamexcited,andIlookforwardtothisnewchallenge.”

“Ican fixthisproblem. ”

“There’sabetterwaytodothis.”

MagicWordsorTragicWords? 61

“Iwilldowhateverittakestobesuccessful. ”

“Pastmistakesandfailingsarehistory.Futuresuccessesandachievementsarepresent.”

WordstoAddtoYourLife

Positive,energetic,valuable,sharp,bright,praised,brilliant,excellent, dazzling,astounding,appreciated,winner,dynamic,resilient,intelligent,success,achiever,happy,andexciting.

Startusingthesewordsmoreinyoureverydayvocabulary,bothwhen speakingaloudandinternally.Learnonenewpositivewordeachday. Onthesubjectoflearning,ifyoucanlearnjusttwonewwordsaday inaforeignlanguage,withinayearyou’llhaveafairlygoodvocabulary.

Icanacceptfailure.Everyonefailsatsomething.ButIcan’tacceptnot trying.

ListeningtoSkeptics

Thecynicknowsthepriceofeverythingandthevalueofnothing.

OscarWilde

Ioftenhearthingslike, “Youdon’twanttodothat,youwanttodo this” ; “Thatwillneverwork” ; “Ithinkyoushould...”;and “Somebody hasalreadydonethat.”

Skepticsareallaroundus.Theylookforthe flawsinascheme,and don’tbelieveinanythingtheydon’tunderstand.Evenwhenyoushow themhardevidence,theystillconvincethemselvestheyarerightand everyoneelseiswrong.Inoneofmybusinesses,Ishowedgenuine commissioncheckspeoplehadearnedactingasagentsformycompany. Thesechecksrangedfrom$2,000to$50,000.Inmyliterature,Ishowed copiesofthechecksandanextractfrommybankstatement,showing thatthecheckshadbeencleared.

Onegentlemanjustcouldnotbelievepeoplecouldearnthese amounts,eveninthefaceofconcreteevidence.Becausehedidn’tearn thatmuch,hedidn’tbelieveanyoneelsecould.

MichaelJordan

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I’mnotsayingyoushouldbeanunrealisticoptimist.Welivein turbulenttimes,andregrettablyeveryoneisn’tashonestandtruthfulas theyshouldbe.However,beingacompleteskepticmeansyou’llnever tryanything,andconsequentlywon’tsucceed.

CanYouGiveAwayFreeMoney?

Overtheyears,variousexperimentshavebeencarriedout,whereby passersbyareofferedfreemoney.Hardlyanyoneevertakesthemoney, asit’sfartoogreatastretchforourrationalmindstobelievethatfree moneywouldbehandedout.It’ s finetoberational,butit’salso importanttokeepanopenmind.Ifyoudon’t,youmaywellmissgreat opportunities.

TakingAdvice

Let’ ssayyou ’vedecidedtostartyourownbusiness.You’vedoneyour researchandareveryexcitedabouttheproject.Becauseyouareso excited,youdecidetotellyourfriends,family,andanyoneelsewhowill listen.Youpresentyourcaseandsay: “Whatdoyouthink?” Hereis wheretheproblemsstart.

Thechancesarethathoweverniceyourfriendsandfamilyare,they arealsonegativelyprogrammed.Fewpeoplebuybookslikethisone, andinmostcaseshavenoexperienceofbusiness.

Whenyouaskforanopinionoradvice,youneedtoqualifythe personwhoisgivingtheadvice.Let’ssayyourfriendJohn’sreplyis: “Idon’tknowifthatwillcatchon.” YouneedtoaskJohntoexplain hisanswerfully andherearethekeyquestionstoask: “Haveyouever runyourownbusiness,John?” and “Doyouknowaboutthisareaof business,John?”

IfJohnisworkingatminimumwageinafactorythathas nothingtodowithyourproposedareaofbusiness,Iwouldn ’ ttake muchnoticeofhisanswer,whetherpositiveornegative.IfJohnis runninghisownsuccessfulbusiness,preferablyinasimilar fi eld,then Iwouldlisten.

Youcansavealotoftroubleandmoneybyacceptinginformedand objectiveadvice.Itmayhurtintheshortterm,butcansaveheartache, time,andmoneyinthelongrun.

ApointongettingadvicefromtheInternet.Iseemanypeople willingtosharealotofpersonalinformationopenlyontheInternet,as wellasseekingadvicefromcompletestrangers.WhiletheInternetcan beagoodwaytodomarketresearch,becarefulaboutbelievingwhatan unknownpersonsaysinachatroom.

HowIGiveAdvice

Ifsomeoneasksmeforadvice,Ialwaysthinkcarefullybeforeanswering especiallyifI’mmakingnegativeobservations.Iknowfrom personalexperiencehowpeoplecanputdoubtsinyourmind,which canleadtoabandoningprojectsthatcouldhavebeensuccessful.

WhenIwasthirteen,Imademoneywhiletheotherkidswereout playing.Iwroteacomputergameandgotintobuyingandselling computersoftware.Imadearound£200,whichwasalotofmoney fora13-year-oldbackthen,especiallysinceeveryoneelsewasearning peanutsdoingpaperroutes.IknewtherewasmoremoneytobemadeifI hadmorecapital,butat13itwashardtogetanyonetotakemeseriously.

Itoldmyfatherabouttheventureandaskedforassistance,buthe shotthewholebusinessdown.Totallydemoralized,Idumpedthe project.Pleasedon’tletanyonedothesametoyou.

Ifagoodfriendasksforadvice,thinkhardbeforeyougiveit.I believemanygreatideashavebeenabandonedbecauseofadvicebased notonanyfacts,butfear.

WhenIgiveadvice,Ilistencarefullytotheproposaland,inmost cases,won ’tgiveaninstantopinion.Instead,I’lldosomeresearchand fact finding.I’llonlygiveanopinionifIgenuinelyfeelIcanofferuseful, well-informedadvice.IfIcan’tgivegoodadvice,Iwillsayso.

Inthepast,peoplehaveapproachedmeaboutenteringmylineof business.Eventhoughtheyweretechnicallytalkingaboutgoinginto competitionwithme,Istillgavethemobjectiveandtruthfuladvice. Somepeopletooktheadviceandstayedout,butothersgaveitatry withoutheedingmywarnings,andfailedmiserably.

ProfessionalAdvice

Professionaladvicecansometimesbeworsethannoadviceatall. Again,Ispeakfromexperience.

64 THE MILLIONAIRE DROPOUT

Therearethousandsoflawyers,bankers,andaccountantswhooffer badadvice.Whenpeopletakeonaprofessionaladviser,theythinkthis releasesthemfromtheirobligationsandtheydon’thavetoworryabout anything. Getreal.Ifyoutakeonanaccountant,andthereisaproblem withyourtaxreturn,doyouthinktheaccountantwillgetintotrouble? Idon’tthinkso.IntheUK,ifyourlimitedcompanyaccountsare filed late,it’ s you whogets fined.

Ifyoureceivebadlegaladvice,it’ s you who’llsuffertheconsequences.Unlessyouwantto findanothersolicitortosueyourprevious solicitor,thatis!

Professionaladvisorsarehuman,andtheymakemistakes justlike you.Theyhavebaddays,theyhavematrimonialproblems,theyhave healthproblems,andtheyhave financialproblems.(Yes,bankmanagersandaccountantshavebillsanddebts,too!)

Professionaladviceshouldbetakenwithcaution.However,you willneedexperthelpattimes,andwhenyoudo,makesureyouresearch andasktherightquestionswhenlookingforyouradvisor.

Nevergiveanadviser100percentcontrolofanything.Anadvisor shouldbeabletoproveherselfandbehappytolettrustbuildupover time.

Ifyoueversayanythingalongthelinesof, “I’mnowinyourcapable handsandI’llleaveitwithyou,” you ’reheadingfortrouble.

Remember,youradvisorworksforyou,nottheotherwayaround. Whateveradvicetheygive,the finaldecisionisyours.Nosolicitorcan makeyoupleadguiltyifyouwanttopleadinnocent.It’syouwho’llend upinjailifitallgoeswrong.

Sotosummarize,listentofamily,friends,andprofessionaladvisors, butqualifywhoeverisgivingyoutheadviceandmakeupyourown mind.

TakingResponsibilityforYourLife

WhenIaskpeoplewhattheywantoutoflife,acommonansweris, “I wanttobehappy.” WhenIaskthemtodefinehappiness,inmostcases theycan’t.

Happinessisastateofmind,andispersonaltoeverybody.However, inmanycasesweletourhappinessbedefinedbyadvertisingagencies whoaretryingtosellussomething.Althoughmostadsdon’tdirectly

MagicWordsorTragicWords?

say “Thiswillmakeyouhappy,” that’sreallywhatthey’resuggesting. Mostadsaretheretopersuadeyouthataproductwillmakeyouhappy, eitherbymakingyousexy,lookgood,orfeelgreat.

Howarecarssold?Notbyshowingtraf ficjams,accidents,orbeing pulledoverforspeeding.No caradsareallopenroads,beautiful women,andhandsomemen.

Whatonepersoncallsahappyplace,someoneelsewillcallhell. SomepeoplethinklivinginapenthouseapartmentinLondonor Manhattanishappiness.Othersthinklivingonafarminthemiddleof nowhereishappiness.Somepeoplethinktheidealholidayissunbathingonanunspoileddesertisland.Othersthinkit’sshoppinginNew York.Personally,I’vehadsomegreatholidaysinLasVegas,butmany peoplehatetheplace.

Thinkaboutactualthingsthatmakeyoureallyhappy,andbe honest.Don’tsaylotsofmoney,asmoneyaloneisn’thappiness.Infact, onthesubjectofmoney,whatisit,really?Justpiecesofpaper,ora plasticcardsettledbynumbersinabankaccount.Moneyitselfisn’t veryexciting,unlessyouareintocollectingbanknotes.It’swhatmoney representsthat’sexciting,andwhatyouplantoexchangeitfor.

HowtoMakeYourselfHappyatAnyTime

Theeasiestwaytomakeyourselffeelhappyrightawayistochangeyour focusandthinkofatimewhenyou were happy.Evenifyou’vehada roughlifelikeme,therehavebeentimesinthepastwhenyou’vebeen happy.Rememberthistimeinasmuchdetailasyoucan.Remember howyoufelt,andrememberwhatyousawandheard.

I’veusedthistechniquemanytimestohelpmeoutoftoughspots. Withsomepractice,youcancallupthegoodtimesandfocusonthe positive,notthenegative.Giveitatry.

AcceptingPraiseandTakingCriticism

Manypeopletodayarequicktocriticizeorcomplain.However,they’ re notsoquicktopraiseorcompliment.Inthisonlineage,it’sveryeasyto givefeedbackorwriteareview.Peoplearequicktowriteapoorreview, yetfewtakethetimetogivegoodfeedbackwhentheyreceivegood serviceorarehappywiththeirpurchase.

SomepeoplelooktoGodorgotochurchwhenthingsgowrong. Theyprayforforgivenessandaskforhelp.However,howoftendothese peopleevergivethanksforhappiness,health,andprosperity?Very rarely,ifever.

Itry,whereverpossible,tothankpeopleforagoodserviceandpay themsincerecompliments.Iwasrecentlyonanairline,andthecabin crewwereexcellent.Onleavingtheaircraft,ImadesureIthanked themandtoldthemwhatagoodjobtheydid.

AcceptingCriticism

Nobodyisperfect,leastofallme.I ’ malwaysinsearchofselfimprovement,andcriticismisonewaywecanallself-improve.If someonesaysI ’ vedonesomethingwrong,oramfailinginsomearea,I takenotice.

Ifthecriticismiswell-founded,Itakeactiontorectifyorimprove thematter.However,ifthecriticismisunjustified,Idon’ttakeany actionandtrytoputthenegativethoughtoutofmymind.

Youknow,deepdown,ifacriticismisjustifi edornot.

Ifacriticismisjustified,it’spointlesstogetdefensiveanddenythe truth.It’salsopointlesstoapologize,butdonothingtorectifythe problem.

Ifsomeonemakesajusti fiedcriticism,takeactionandsolveor eliminatetheproblem.

It’sveryfashionablerightnowforcompaniestoasktheircustomers, “Areweprovidingagoodservice,orhavewemessedup?” Thisisall wellandgood,aslongasthesecompaniesactuallylistentothe customersandtakeaction.Afterall,foreveryonecustomerwho complains,theremaybeahundredmorewhodon’tsayaword.

Someyearsago,Imadeacomplainttoaverybigairline,advising themofaproblem.Ididn’treceiveanacknowledgementofthe complaint,andwhenItravelledagainusingthisairlinetheystill hadn’t fixedtheproblem.

Summary

Youshouldgivepraisewhenit’sdue,andacceptpraisewhenit’sdue. Don’tshrugoffacomplimentwith, “Oh,it’snothing.” You’rerobbing

yourselfofpraise.Acceptpraise,andletitsinkintoyoursubconscious mind.It’sgoodforyou.

Asforcriticism,ifit’svalid,acceptitandact.Ifit’snot,rejectit.

Toavoidcriticismsaynothing,donothing,benothing.

AskingQuestionsMakesYouMoreSuccessful

Aristotle

Aschildren,welearnedbyaskingquestions.Listentoachild,andhear howmanytimesheorsheaskquestions,orsays, “Why?”

Whenwebecomeadults,weaskfewerquestions perhapsbecause wefeelpeoplewillthinkwe’restupidifwedon’tknowsomething.

Ibelievethebrightestchildrenaretheoneswhoaskthemost questions.Aslongastheirteachersorparentstaketimetoanswer, childrenwillbeverysmartandbeattheaverages.

Asanadult,weshouldcontinueaskingquestions.Weshouldask questionssuchas, “Isthereabetterroute?” or “CanIdothisabetter way?”

Ifyouworkinasalesenvironment,youshouldalreadyknowthatif peopleaskavalidquestion,theyareinterestedbuyers.

Weshouldaskourpartnersorlovedonesquestionstoo.Iknowit maybeembarrassing,butallthetoplovemakingtherapistssaythat askingyourpartnerquestionsleadstobetterlovemaking.

Weshouldaskourcustomersquestions.Forexample, “Doyou preferblackorred?” or “Whichdaydoyouprefertoshopon?”

Manynewproductsaredevelopedbyaskingquestions,orby answeringthe “why” statement.Take,forexample,thePolaroidinstant camera.Youtakeyourpicture,anditpopsoutthebottomofthe camera.Withinaminute,youcanseeit.

IreadthatthePolaroidcamerawasinventedasaresultofachild’ s “Why?” question.Afterhavingherphototakenbyanormalcamera, thechildwantedtoseethephotorightaway.Shecouldn’tunderstand whyshehadtowaitforthe filmtobeprocessed(whichall filmshadto be,beforedigitalcamerascamealong).

Aninventorheardthis “Why?” question,andsatdowntowork onthePolaroidinstantcamera which,ofcourse,wentontobea massiveseller.

Summary

Askingquestionsisagoodwaytolearn,andtakingnoticeof “Why?” is veryimportant.Bothinbusinessandonapersonallevel,asking questionshelpsus fi ndoutifwearegettingthingsright.

Whenyoustoplearning,stoplistening,stoplookingandaskingquestions, alwaysnewquestions,thenitistimetodie.

LillianSmith

AssociatewithEagles,notTurkeys

IFEACHOFUSHIRES peoplewhoaresmallerthanweare,weshallbecome acompanyofdwarfs.Butifeachofushirespeoplewhoarebiggerthanwe are,weshallbecomeacompanyofgiants.

Iknowpeoplewholookdownatothers,butwillneverlookupto someonewhoisdoingbetterthantheyare.Theyliketothinkthey havethebesthouseorcaronthestreet.Well,theymayhave,butifthey goamiledowntheroad,theirhouseandcarwouldbetheworst.

Ifyoualwayslookdowninsteadofup,youwillneverprogress.Focus downwardsandthechancesareyou’llstartmovingdownwards.Aim high,lookup,andnoticepeoplewhoaredoingbetterthanyou.This willhelpyousoarlikeaneagle,notrunaroundlikeaturkey.

Findyourselfarolemodel someoneyoucanrelateto.Tryto associatewithpeoplewhoarepositiveandwinningatlife.Thepeople yousurroundyourselfwithcanhelpyouorholdyouback.NowI’mnot sayingyoushouldalwaysbechasingthebiggerandbetterdeal,but realizeyourtruepotential.

Letmegiveyouanexampleofgoodassociationandbadassociation. AgoodassociationisWeightWatchers.Ifyouaretryingtolose weightonyourown,itcanbeverydif ficult.WeightWatchersbrings peopleinterestedinlosingweighttogether.Thegroupencourages,sets

DavidOgilvy

70 THE MILLIONAIRE DROPOUT

goals,andhaspastslimmersasrolemodels.Mostpeoplewhovisit WeightWatchers findthemeetingsveryupliftingandgetmotivation andinspirationfromthem.

Abadassociationisnegativepeoplean ddownmarketpubsand clubs.Youwill fi ndthatveryfewpeopleofferpositiveaspirationsina downmarketpuborclub.Thechancesarethatsmoking,drinking, anddrugswillbeallaroundyou.Addinanegativelymindedfellow patron,andyou’ reonthewaydown.Howeverpositiveyouare,ifyou spendenoughtimearounddepressingpeople,itishardtostay positive.

I’vebeenoutwithdepressingpeoplewhobelievedthatlifewas terribleandeverythingwasbad,andafterafewhoursIstartedtofeel quitedown,eventhoughIwasveryhappybeforeImetthem.

Ontheotherhand,I’vemethappy,positivepeoplewhowere interestingandreallymakingsomethingoftheirlives.WhenImeet thesesortsofpeople,Iwanttimetostandstill.Theyinspireme,andI don’twanttoleavetheircompany.

Youmusthaveheardthesaying, “Birdsofafeather flocktogether.” Whoareyou flockingwith?Negative,deadbeatpeople,orpositive, upbeatpeople?

Thesedays,youcan flocktogetheronlinetoo,sobecarefulwhich Internetforumsandchatroomsyouinvolveyourselfwithregularly.

Itisbettertobealonethaninbadcompany.

Summary

Successbreedssuccess.Learnaboutpeoplewhoaredoingwell,andask yourselfhowyoucandothesame.Associatewithpeoplewhoaretrying tosolvethesameproblemyouhave,suchaslosingweight,givingup alcohol,orlearningtospeakinpublic,andyouwill findsupportand ideas.Youoweittoyourselftopushashardasyoucanandtomaximize yourtruepotential.Successisajourney,andtravellingshouldbejustas funasarriving.Makesureyoutravelingoodcompany!

Awordofwarningaboutgoodandbadassociations.Inlife,there arehangersonandpeoplewhowilluseyou.Don’tassociatewiththese

GeorgeWashington

people,anddon’tbecomeoneyourselfeither.Agoodfriendgivesas muchasheorshetakes.

Doyouhaveanyso-calledfriendsorassociateswhoonlygetin touchwhentheyneedafavororashouldertocryon?Thenreadon. Agoodfriendshipandrelationshipisbasedongiveandtake.It’ s notontakingmorethanyougive.Weallaskfriendsforassistance sometimes,butfriendshipsshouldneverbeabused.Ifyoutakesomethingtoday,makesureyougivesomethingbackinthenearfuture andthesameshouldapplytoyourfriends.Anyfriendwhoisalways takingisn’treallyafriend.

DealingwithEnvyandJealousy

ImagineIparkmynewFerrariinfrontofyourcar.Istepoutandam wearinganexpensivesuit.IhaveaRolexwatchonmywristand generallylookhappyandsuccessful.Whatwillbeyour firstthought?

Somepeoplemightthink, Luckysoandso wishIhadaFerrari. Othersmightthink, Hemustbeadrugdealer.Or, Heprobablywonthe lottery.

Thesethoughtsareenviousandjealous,anddon’ tgetanyone anywhere.Envyandjealousyaresignsofalosermentality,soifyou ’ re experiencingthesefeelings,youneedtotakecontrolofthemright now.

Don’tbeangryorjealousofpeoplewhoaredoingbetterthanyou. Admirethem,congratulatethem, findouttheirsecrets,andcopythem. (Aslongasthey’renotreallydrugdealers!)Successisawonderfulthing. Itcangiveyouamapofhowyouyourselfcanbesuccessful.Sodon’t envyit.Emulateit.

Ilovetoseesuccessfulpeople.Why?BecausetheyarerareandIcan learnsomethingfromthem.Theyprovethatsuccessisachievable, whichisgoodnewsforeveryone.

Oneday,youcouldbecomefarmoresuccessfulthanme.You mayappearonTVorwriteabook.Infact,youmayalreadybe richerthanme,butIdon ’ tenvyyou Iadmireyou,andIwantyou todowell.

Thisbookisaboutmakingeveryreadermoresuccessful.Nothing makesmehappierthanhearingsuccessstories,andifIhavecontributed alittletothatsuccesswiththisbook evenbetter.

72 THE MILLIONAIRE DROPOUT

WorkingSmarter,notHarder

Thisphrasehasaniceringtoit,butIbelieveifyouworksmarter and harder,youwillreachthetopmuchquicker.I’mnotgoingtoturnthis intoasciencelesson,butletmeexplainthemeaningofleverage,to showyouhowtoworksmarterandharder.

Imagineyouhave20heavyboxestomove.Youcouldworkhard, pickingthemupindividually,orgetacartandpushthemalong.It wouldbemucheasiertomovetheboxesusingacart,wouldn’tit?Andif youworkhardertomovethecartquickly,youcouldbedoneinnotime.

Doyouhaveaproblemwhereleveragecouldhelp?Perhapsa repetitivejob,suchasmonitoringthenews,thatyoucouldhavea computerdoforyou?CheckoutGoogleAlerts,andyou’llseehowyour computercansaveyouhoursofresearchtime.

Ofcourseyoushouldworkhardinlife,buthardworkalonewillget younowhere.I’vemetpeoplewho’veworkedhardfor25yearsormore. They’vestartedearlyand finishedlate,yetarestillearningmuchless thanmanyofthosearoundthem.

Resultscount,notthefactyou’veputin10hoursadayfor25years.A fewsimplechangescaneasilyturnhardworkintogreatresults.Thinkofa farmer,usingahorseandplough.Givethefarmeratractorandhe’lltriple hisproductivity,andhavemoretimetomarkethisproducts.Wherein yourlifecanyouworksmarterandmakeyourselfmoreproductive?

LearningtoAdaptandChangingDirection

Manypeoplearesetintheirwaysanddothesamethingsoverandover again.Therearenewdiscoveriesandinventionseveryday manyof whichcanmakeourliveseasier butifwedon’tlearnaboutthemor usethem,weholdourselvesback.

Hereisanexample.

Youdrivetoworkeveryday,usingthesameroads.Oneday,you learnanewroadhasopenedthatwillcutyourjourneytimeby 15minutes.Allyouneedtodoisturnrightafewmileson,instead ofyourusualleftturn.

Willyouturnrightorleft?Thechancesare,you’lltakethenormal leftturn,becausethat’swhathasbeenprogrammedinyourmindover manyrepeatedjourneys.

AssociatewithEagles,notTurkeys

Theonlywaytolearnthenewrouteisbystickinganoteonthe dashboardandthinkinghardaboutyourjourney.Afterafewweeksof pushingyourselftotakethenewroute,itbecomesnaturalandautomatic.

Itcanbehardtochangethingsthatarewellprogrammedinour minds.Butifyoulearntobreakoldhabitsandtrybetterones,you’llsee muchmoresuccessinyourlife.

Letmegiveyouanotherexample.Ifyouhadtoseeasurgeonfora heartoperation,whowouldyouwanttobetreatedby someonewho quali fied50yearsagoandhasneverdoneanyfurtherstudying,ora youngerdoctorwho’skeptuptodatewiththelatestmedicaltechnology andregularlyreadsmedicaljournalsandattendsseminars?

I’msure,likeme,you’dpreferthesecondsurgeon.

Peoplealwaysfearchange.Peoplefearedelectricitywhenitwasinvented, didn’tthey?Peoplefearedcoal,theyfearedgas-poweredengines.... Therewillalwaysbeignorance,andignoranceleadstofear.Butwith time,peoplewillcometoaccepttheirsiliconmasters.

WorkingAroundProblems

Earlieron,Imentionedpeoplewhoworkhardbutgetnowhere.These peoplearealotlike flies,bangingtheirheadsagainstawindow.I’ msure you ’ veseen fliesdoingthis theywanttogetoutthewindow,butthey justdon’tunderstandglass!

Thisiswhatmanypeopledoeveryday.Theyhitthemselvesagainst theglassoverandoveragain.Thesmartwaytoovercometheproblem istotakeastepbackandassesswhat’sreallygoingon.Isthereawayto dothingsdifferently?Canyougoaroundtheproblem?

Here’saninterestingsaying,whichI’ msureyou ’veheard: “Some peoplearesobusychoppingwood,theydon’thavetimetosharpen theiraxes!”

Verytrue.Bytakingafewmomentstoexamineasituation(and workoutthatyouneedtosharpenyouraxe),youcanmakeyourhard workmoreeffective(andchopmuchmorewood).

BillGates

PersonalRelationships

THEYSAYBEHINDEVERYGREAT manisagreatwoman,andviceversa. Thereisalotoftruthinthis.Apositivepartnercanbeaninspiration, whereasanegativepartner,whodoesnotshareyourgoalsandaspirations,canbeyourworstenemy.Yourdecisiontobetteryourlife, increaseyourincome,increaseyourknowledge,orimproveyour appearance,maynotbesharedbyyourpartner andherewehave aproblem.

Howcanyoutellifyourpartnerisonyourside?Thereisnosimple answertothisquestion.Butletmeaskyouthis.Howdoesyourpartner reactwhenyousuggestsomethingnew achange,anewbusinessidea, furthereducation,andsoon?

Doesyourpartneralwaysreactinanegativeandlethargicway,orsit up,takenote,andgiveyouconstructiveinput?

Ifyourpartnerisgenuinelyenthusiasticaboutyourplans,your achievements,yourgoals,andyoursuccess,thenyouhaveapartner whowillhelpyougettothetop.

Ifyourpartnerisn’tenthusiasticaboutyourstrivingforsuccess,then youhaveaproblemthatwillonlyincreaseasyoubecomemore successfulandwealthy.

Inarelationship,whenonepartnerincreaseshisorherincome, changesthecircleoffriends,orgetsintoshape,anegativelyminded partnermayfeelinferiororinsecure.

Thesedays,it’sjustascommonforamantobejealousofhis successfulfemalepartner andperhapsmoreso,becausemanymen resentwomenbeingmoresuccessfulthantheyare.Perhapsithas somethingtodowithourcavemanheritage,andmenbringingback thefood.

Whichofthesethreecategoriesdoesyourpartnerfallinto?

1.Onehundredpercentsupportive,providingobjectiveviewsand backingyourideas,visions,andgoals.Readytoshareyourjourney, trustyourjudgment,andhelpyoualltheway.

2.Average.Notparticularlysupportive,butnotoverlynegative either.Withsomecoaxingtheyagreetohelpyou,buttheirheart isn’treallyinit.Theythinkyourgoalsandambitionsareokay,but doubtyouwilleverreachthem.

3.Notsupportiveatall.Anysuggestionsornewideasareshotdown immediatelyandfaultsarefound.Theyarequicktoremindyouof yourpastmistakesandthatitisyourfaultbothofyourlivesare amess.Theyareverysetintheirways,andwouldneverconsider movingawayandlosingclosecontactwiththeirfamilyand friends.

Whichisyourpartner?Onehundredpercentbehindyou,or lagging?Deepdowninside,youknowtheanswer.

HowtoHelpaLaggingPartner

Talktoyourpartneratlengthaboutwhatyou’reaimingtoachieveright now,andwhyyou’rechangingyourlife.Youmightevenwanttogive themacopyofthisbook!

If,afteradiscussion,yourpartneriswillingtomakechanges,then great.Thetheoryis,ifonepartnerstartsleadingaricherlife,theother partnercaneasilycopy.

Encourageyourpartnertotryanynewactivitiesyou’retakingpart in.Ifyou’reincreasingyour fitnessandhavejoinedahealthclub,bring yourpartnerwithyou.

Alaggingpartnermayneedakick-start,butoncetheyunderstand thebenefits,theywilloftenbehappytofollowyou.

76 THE MILLIONAIRE DROPOUT

WhatifMyPartnerStillLagsBehind?

Ifyou’vetriedhardenoughtogetyourpartnermotivatedandtaking moreinterestinlife,andyoustill findyou’renotgettinganysupport,a majordecision mustbemade.Negativitycandrainyouandholdyouback. Beforewegoanyfurther,itmaybewisetoreadmysectionon “Balance,” andaskyourselfifyou’rebeingfairtoyourpartner.It’shard toexpecthissupportifyouaretotallyneglectinghim.

Ifyouconcludethatyourpartnerwon’tchange,thenyourmajor decisionisthis:Willyougiveupyourgoals,ambitions,andfuture success,orbesel fishandpartcompany?

Havinganegativepartnercanbeworsethannopartneratall. Tryingtoachievesuccesswithsomeonenegativedrainingyourenergy isliketryingtorunonastickysurface.Youjustgetnowhere,andtire yourselfouttrying.

SummaryonPartners

Mostpartnersaresupportiveofsuccess,because,afterall,ifyoustart earningmoremoneyorgettinginvitedtoniceplaces,thechancesare yourpartnerisgoingtobene fit.

Althoughanaveragepartnerisnotasgoodasa100percent supportivepartner,you’llprobablystillbeabletopersuadethissort ofpartnerthatchangecanbegood.

Ifyourpartnerfallswaybelowaverageandoffersnosupportatall, thenradicalactionisrequired.Youneedtohelpimproveyourpartner’ s self-esteem,andofferthetechniquesyou’velearnedandadoptedfrom thisbook.

Ifyouhavegenuinelytriedeverythingpossibleandyourpartneris stillmiserable(whichinturnwillmakeyoumiserable),theright solutionistomoveon.

FindingtheRightPartner

Itseemsthatdatingisbecomingmoreandmorecomplicatedinour busy,high-techsociety.However,itdoesn’thavetobethisway.Ifyou haveagoodideaofwhatyou’relookingfor, findingtherightpartner canbeverysimple.

Whatareyoulookingforinapartner?Thisiswhereyouhavetobe 100percentopenandhonestwithyourself.

Don’ttakeanynoticeofwhatanyoneelsethinks,orwhatmagazinesorInternetsitestellyou.It’syourlife,andifyou’relookingfora lifelongpartner,youmustbehappywithyourdecision.

Sometimes,familypoliticsgetinthewayofrelationships( “ You can ’ tgooutwithhimbecausehe ’ sJewish,” or “They ’ reabad family” ).

Youcan’tliveyourlifeforotherpeople. Dowhatyouwant.Define theidealpartnerfor you.

Isuggestyoutakeapieceofpaper.Ononehalfwrite me,andonthe otherhalfwrite myperfectpartner.Writedownallyourlikes,interests, andqualitiesunder me.

Nowthinkaboutqualitiesyoureallywantinyourpartner.Hereis anexampleofwhatyoursheetmightlooklike.

ME

MYPERFECTPARTNER

Perhapsyouthinkyouwantasupermodel,amultimillionaire,ora princewholivesinacastle,butaresuper ficialqualitieslikethesegoing tofulfillyouforalifetime?Sure itmightbeexcitingintheshortterm, butjustlikeeatingyourfavoritefoodeveryday,shallowdesirescan getold.

Lookatsomeofthehigh-pro fileHollywooddivorces.Acouplemay berichandbeautiful,butifbasiccompatibilitiesaren’tthere,itwillbea short-termandshallowrelationship.

Anoteaboutyourprospectivepartner.Youmaynot findevery qualityyouhavelistedinapartner,butifyoucan findmostofthem, you ’reontherighttrack.

Youdon’tnecessarilywantyourpartnertobeanexactmirrorof yourself,either.It’sgoodifyourpartnerhassomedifferentqualitiesand intereststobringtothepartnership.

78 THE MILLIONAIRE DROPOUT

Defi ningyouridealpartnerwillhelpyou fi ndhimorher.Ifyou wanderaroundnotknowingwhatyouwant,youwillnever findthe idealpartnerbecauseyoudon’tknowwhoyou’rereallylookingfor. Therearethousandsofpeopleouttheresaying,"Ijustcan ’ t fi nd Mr.orMrs.Right, ” butwhenyouaskthemtode fi neMr.or Mrs.Right,theycan ’ t.

MeetingYourIdealPartner

Ifyousitindoorseverynight,hopingtherightpartnerwillknockon yourdoor,you’llbewaitingalongtime.Inlife,youhavetomake opportunities.Youhavetolookintherightplaces,whichmeans avoidingdownmarketpubsandnightclubs.

Takepartinnewactivities.Joinaneveningclassorgoonacourse.If youliketravelling,goawayonyourown you ’llbeamazedhowmany peopleyou’llmeet.Sure,itcanfeellonelyandscaryat first,butit’ sa greatwaytoshakeyououtofyourcomfortzoneandgiveyoucourage.

Ifyoureallydon’tfeelupto findingnewactivitiesortravelling alone,considerjoiningadatingagency.

OnlineDatingAgencies

You’reprobablythinking, I’mnotjoiningoneofthose.They’reforlosers whohaven’tbeenableto findapartner.

Letmetellyousomething.Datingagencieshavechangedagreat dealinthepastdecade.Therearenowmanyqualityagenciesthatdeal withsuccessful,intelligent,funpeople.

Manypeoplethesedaysruntheirownbusinessesandworklong hours.Thismakesitdifficulttomeetapartner,butitdoesn’tmeanthat personisunattractiveordesperate.Therearesomeextremelyrichand attractivepeopleregisteredwithdatingagencies.

Joininganagencydoesn’tmeanthere’sanythingwrongwithyou,or thatyou’reafailure.Farfromit.Usingadatingagencycanbeavery effectivewayforsuccessfulpeopleto findpartners.

Agoodonlinedatingagencywilltakeyourpersonalinformation andpartnerrequirements,andmatchthemtoprospectivedates.

Althoughacomputerisnotguaranteedto findyouanidealpartner, itcanatleasthelptolayafoundationofcommoninterests.

Don’tthinkofdatingwebsitesasaninstantwayto findyourdream partner.Instead,thinkofthemasastartingpointforexpandingyour friendsandcontacts whichinturnmay findyouapartner.

UpmarketDinnerParties

Thesehavebecomequitepopularrecently,andareadvertisedinquality magazinesandSaturdaynewspapersinthepersonalsections.

Ifyou’renotwillingtogotoadatingagency,thesemightbeasofter option.Thesedinnerpartiesaredesignedtobringprofessionaland af fluentpeopletogetherinasocialatmosphere.Evenifyoudon’t find youridealpartner,you’llhaveaniceeveningout,andyoumaymakea fewfriendsorcontacts.

It’sfareasiertostartaconversationandfriendshipinthistypeof environmentthanventuringtoapubornightclubalone. Anoldfriendofmineattendsdatingdinnerparties,andalthough hehasn’tfoundhisidealpartneryet,he’shavingagreattimeand meetingmanynewandinterestingpeople.Italsoworkslikeapyramid, asthepeopleyoumeetmayinviteyoutoanotherpartywiththeir friends,andsoon.IfyousearchtheInternetfor"dinnerdates"or "singlesdinnerparties,"youwill findplentyofoptions.

Summary

Noteveryonewantsalong-termpartner.Somemenandwomen find theyarehappierandmoreproductivelivingasinglelife.Manypeople nowlivealone,and findthataslongastheyhavefamilyandfriends,they don’tneedalong-termpartner.Lifecanbefullenoughwithoutone.AsI mentionedbefore,you’rebetteroffwithnopartnerthanabadpartner. If,however,youfeellifewithoutalong-termpartnerisempty,take actionandcreateopportunitiestomeetyourperfectmatch.Don’tstop untilyou’vefoundyourpartner,anddon’tbeashamedtouseintroductionagenciesandtoseekguidancefromothers.

ActBeforethePain,NotAfter

Manypeoplewaituntilsomethingdisastroushappensbeforethey takepositiveaction.Howmanyofusrushtothedentistbecausewe ’ re