VCC GORE THE WIPER MARCH 2024

March 2024

Meetings are held on the second Tuesday of the month at the Clubrooms, Waimea Street, Gore, starting at 8pm (unless notified otherwise)

Next meeting: 12th March

Branch telephone number: 03 208 7424 Branch

Chairman’s Report March 2024

Having returned from great veteran motoring events of the National Veteran, Dunedin - Brighton 70th anniversaryandthe Prince HenryTour we are now settling in to prepare for our Festival Rally, Southland Veteran and Vintage Rally and of course the Annual Gore Swap Meet.

It is unfortunate due to lack of numbers from the RSAthat the RSADiggers run has been cancelled for this year.

It was pleasing to have National SI Club Captain Mark Wilkinson at the February meeting to get some more understanding with theNational Executiveformat proposals. We will needto give David North our branch’s view and feeling as to the direction preferred at the March meeting.

As the June AGM is in the not too distant future it is not too early to be thinking of positions becoming available. As for me I plan on stepping down as Chairman having completed 3years in this position. The Club Captain position has been vacant for a year and is required for our run coordination. Please consider yourself for a position or committee.

Paul Herron

Did you hear about the guy that bought 12 bees?

When he got home and counted them there were 13. So he went back and told them and they told him it was a free bee.

Did you hear about the wee pig that walked into a bar and ordered 10 pints?

When he had drunk them all the barman asked was he OK to get home. “Oh yes, I’ll just wee wee wee wee all the way home.”

Sent in by Gerry Kennedy

The Latest Medical Advice

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.

Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Bill Sheddan

From the Editor’s Keyboard

I’m pleased to say that this issue is back to “full strength” with a mixture of event notices, stories, pictures and, for want of a better term, “items of interest”. There is one important matter and that is the changes to the VCC committee structure and constitution. Please read through the material sent to you last November and come to the March meeting prepared with your opinions on the best options.

Thank you to Bill Sheddan and Keith Nunn for their respective experiences rallying in Bill’s beautiful little Saxon. I see that a number of other members were also involved and I would be delighted to include their stories in a future issue. (Hint, hint!)

I am pleased to say that my pleas for material are being answered, but please keep them coming as there is always another issue to be filled up so I can never have enough. Stories or pictures about anything that members ofthe Gore Branchhave done,seen,visitedorbeeninterested in are always welcome and need not be restricted to just “VCC” activities.

Happy reading – and don’t forget to check out Southland Heritage Month events from the link in “Online Bonuses”,

David North

BRAINTEASER

Q. A man dives into a swimming pool, but not a single hair on his head gets wet. How is this possible?

Answer next month

Answer to last month’s Brainteaser

Q. What goes all the way around the world, but stays in the corner?

Answer: A postage stamp.

Sent in by

Jill Youngson

For Discussion at the March Gore Branch Meeting

I have summarised what is to be discussed using extracts from the material sent out by the National Office. This paperwork was circulated to every member last November. As your Branch Delegate I am charged with representing the Branch view on the various matters outlined below at the Executive Committee meeting in Christchurch on 16/17 March.

David North, Branch Delegate

From the National Office

With the upcoming March Executive meeting fast approaching the Management Committee have asked me to circulate the attachments to all branch secretaries and delegates.

This is to allow your branch to fully discuss and agree on your position, enabling your delegate to fully participate in the discussions expressing your branch opinion.

Discussion Paper March Exec Meeting 2024

Thefirst point of orderforthenext ExecutiveCommitteemeetingin March 2024, will be to pass a vote to lock in Option 1, which was the preferred option reported back on.

OPTION ONE

National (Board?)/Committee: (suggested new committee name)

12 Members (favored majority from options circulated to branches):

• President

• Secretary | Treasurer

• Registrar

• NI Club Captain

• SI Club Captain

• 3 NI Representative

• 3 SI Representatives

• Beaded Wheels Editor

Voted Positions:

• President, voted by all members

• North and South Island Club Captains voted by members in corresponding areas.

NICC, North Island members, SICC, South Island members.

•North IslandNational Regional Representativesvotedas pergeographical area. (to be decided)

•South IslandNationalRegionalRepresentativesvotedasper geographical area. (to be decided)

Appointed Positions:

• Secretary/Treasurer and Registrar roles advertised and positions appointed by the National Committee.

• Beaded Wheels Chairman appointed by National Committee, no voting rights.

All positions to be 3-year terms with a maximum of 2 terms. Structured so 4 positions roll over each year to ensure consistency of experience on Committee.

Once this is lock in, we can then progress and workshop how this new one committee structure will work in liaising with branches to provide them a say in how the national club is run.

WORKSHOP1

The first item to resolve and decide on is the makeup of the Branches or areas that will come under each of the new Branch Representative roles. Three options are attached for branches to review and be open for discussion and decide on.

Option one:

Splitting the North and South Island into 3 sections each Based on Membership Numbers.

Option two:

Splitting the North and South Island based on even number of branches per Island.

Option three:

Splitting the countryinto 6 regions with equal number of branches (6 each) [These options were presented on maps in the papers distributed earlier.]

WORKSHOP2

Thoughts on the following for you to consider within your branch to bring to the meeting to allow you to participate in the workshop representing the thoughts of your branch.

National Committee to meet by Zoom second Tuesday of each month and in person 3 times per year. Feb, July, Oct. (Much as the Management Committee do now)

National Club Captains responsible for National events in their areas and communication between their Island branches and National Regional Representatives.

National Regional Representatives directly responsible for the branches under their wing.

Attend at least one branch committee meeting per year. (2 if possible) Host a bi-monthly meeting with the branch delegates from your representative branches to provide feedback to the new National Committee. (Zoom or in person)

NEW ROLE FOR BRANCH DELEGATES:

Branches still appoint a branch delegate to liaise with National Regional Representatives.

National Committee to host one Delegate conferences per year in March and a meeting on the Friday before theAGM.

National body to cover the cost of travel to and from these events for one branch delegate as per now. Branches allowed to bring a support member at their own cost.

WORKSHOP3

Our current constitution is made up of 21 sections. The majority of these will not need to be changed. Below is each section and title, listed with what needs to be looked at. We would like these to be looked at and discussed at branch level prior to the meeting so each can be dealt with in turn within this workshop.

[The 21 sections were included in the previously distributed paperwork.]

As you can see, there is a lot to get through, both at the branch meeting and (particularly) at the Executive Committee meeting.

David North Branch Delegate

100-year-old Predictions for 2024

A writer only known as ‘Incubus’ dreamt several predictions for the year 2024 following their apparent reading of The March of Science by Sir Loliver Odge (perhaps a parody on Oliver Lodge*). These include:

 Kettles boiling in a minute

 We’d be in touch with Mars by wireless and have snowball fights with Martians

 Different kinds of fruit trees that produce two kinds of fruit, but no leaves

 A new serum would be discovered, making all those compulsorily inoculated honest

 Boys would no longer cheat at marbles

 Politicians would say what they mean, and governments would act and not talk so much. As a result, houses would ‘spring up like mushrooms’and work would be ‘abundant for all’

 Homes would have pipes for water, but also for beer and whisky

Professor A.M. Low made several predictions for the advancement of warfare. His comments came after the horrors of World War 1, and it’s spooky how correct he was with some of these:

 Camouflage will become a fine art.

 Aeroplanes with silent engines will be ‘practically invisible’.

 Cavalry will become obsolete through the use of electricity as a weapon.

 The introduction of germs into warfare means inoculation and vaccination will be important.

 A ‘wireless’ war, where torpedoes, tanks, and periscopes will be controlled by wireless.

Your 2024 weather forecast (from 1268)

An article from 1909 reported on the Prophecies of Thomas-Joseph Moult. He was a native of Naples writing in 1268, describing himself as an astronomer and philosopher. Others describe him as a ‘Calchas’, someone who knew the past, present and future.

His meteorological observations found that seasons resemble one another every 28 years, and he made predictions for the years 1797, 1825, 1853, 1882, 1909, 1937, 1965, 1993 and 2024.

The article stated that 1909, and thus 2024, was in store for:

 A cold spring

 A stormy, rainy June, even until the middle of August

 Sunny until 15 November

 A damp and baneful autumn

 A temperate winter with no great frost

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oliver_Lodge

Taken from https://www.findmypast.co.uk/

Sent in by Donna North

Tuesday Ramble, January 2024

Tuesday 30th January dawned bright and sunny in Riverton but by the time 24 Ramblers had found their way to the Riverton Lodge Hotel for lunch it was less pleasant. We (Donna and I) had chosen the Lodge for two reasons, firstly the excellent food (very important on a Ramble) and secondly the view out onto the Estuary from the dining room. Unfortunately, cloud and fine misty rain did a very good job of obscuring the view.

Lunch at the Riverton Lodge Hotel

Fortunately, the food was well up to expectations. There was no need to order as fish (Southland blue cod) & chips was the order of the day (except for two diners with dietary requirements who were served suitable alternatives). Portions were suitably “Southland” and everybody was very complimentaryabout the qualityandquantityof themeals. It certainlytook their minds off the lack of an outside view!

The service from Fiona and Ann was swift, friendly and efficient and Murray, the chef, dragged himself out of the kitchen to present a prize to

the car he considered most worthy. He chose Russell & Marlene Newland’s Sunbeam Imp and gave two reasons. One was that it was such a cool car it would get his vote every day, the other was that the Imp was the only car that a manufacturer had to de-tune for sale to the public.

The Sunbeam Imp

After the meal the Ramblers gave a vote of thanks for the excellent food and service. At this point Murray was asked how old the pub was and proceeded to regale us with the story of its history and evolution over the years, both before and after he and Fiona had taken it on. I won’t go into any detail here, if you want to know you’ll need to visit Riverton and ask Murray yourself!

Once everybody had finished chatting we made our way to Te Hikoi, Riverton’s museum and information centre. As a pre-booked group we enjoyed a discounted admission fee of $6 (normally$9) per head and those who only wanted to see the “Violet’s Scarf” exhibition paid just $3 each. (Had any children come along they would have enjoyed free admission.)

One Rambler made an immediate complaint – that I had failed to mention the marvellous shop! Des & Janet Brewster met us at the museum and then we all made our way inside.

After I had given a brief introduction to the museum (it tells the story of settlement in the local area from early Māori up to almost the present time) we watched the 15-minute introductory movie and then the Ramblers were free to look at the exhibits in their own time.

The museum consists of two buildings, the modern one, officially opened by Helen Clark in December 2007, and the old Courthouse which housed the earlier museum. The displays and dioramas telling the historical story start with Māori quarrying argillite stone for tools and then muttonbirding. This is followed by whaling & sealing, European settlement and the Chinese gold mining days, finishing up with Victorian times. Among the tales told are ones of great adventure, incredible hardship, dastardly deeds and, as in Gore, moonshine – not to mention the discrimination that the Chinese immigrants endured at the hands of the government of the time.

Other things to see are the “DiscoveryDepot”, an interactive room with a great number of rock samples from the local area, all labelled with what they are and where they are from and two rooms telling Riverton’s war stories. At the time we visited there was also a wonderful temporary exhibition, “Violet’s Scarf”. This was tied in to a children’s book of the same name, an amazing Riverton story from WW1 that is very moving and has had quite an effect on many visitors.

As the Ramblers gradually emerged from their journey through the museum I received my second complaint of the day – that I had failed to mention justhowmuchtherewas to seein themuseum and howfascinating it was. The “average” 45- to 60-minute visit was nowhere near enough for some of the Ramblers and they found themselves needing to come back again to finish it off properly. (I had the same problem the first time I visited,and spent about a wholedaylookinground, spread over twovisits!)

Everybody seemed to have thoroughly enjoyed their day out. There were many compliments about the museum and its displays. Despite a previous Ramble to Te Hikoi a surprising number of the Ramblers said that they had never visited – and now wondered why not!

David North

Sent in by Jill Youngson

Race4Life Teretonga, 12th March

Hello all

I hope 2024 has been good to you thus far.

Thought I best get hold of you to see whether you might be free to join us on March 12th at Teretonga for the Race4Life Track Day.

We are so excited to again hold another Track Day at Teretonga, after all the disruptions caused by Covid. Our intention is to make this an annual event again and to provide a day of real fun with high octane rides for palliative care patients in both the Southland and Otago regions.

We are needing classic/ luxurious/prestigious cars for the afternoon session and wondered whether you would be available to join us on the day. Plus if you know of any other drivers with COOLcars, please do not hesitate to encourage them to contact me.

The day begins at 8am with an all day BBQ providing breakfast and a coffee truck providing the morning brew. The race cars will be using the track in the morning, however the track would be yours in the afternoon.

It would be awesome if you could join us for the day I do look forward to hearing from you

Many thanks,

Viv

Viv

James

|

Race

4 Life Trust | Email: viv@race4life.org.nz | Mobile: 021 883 669 | Website: www.race4life.org.nz

PostalAddress: P.O Box 331342 Takapuna 0740

Gore Branch Events for the 2023-24 Season

Event Date

2024

Car Boot Sale & Swap Meet

Lions Club Dinner

Frank Robson & Clearwater Capers

Sunday 17th March

Wednesday 3rd April

Sunday 14th April

Organiser(s)

Katherine Welsh

Gerry Kennedy

Greg Elder

Night Trial May Rod Bell

End of Season Run June

Annual Dinner & Prize-giving

Tuesday Ramble

6th July

Last Tuesday of the month (except December)

Bruce Price

Murray Proctor Keith Nunn

Co-ordinated by Gerry Kennedy

Editor's note to event organisers

If you want to see a report in The Wiper please provide one yourselves or organise somebody to do it for you.

(N.B. This works best if you ask them before the event!)

Volunteers Wanted

For helping with the Lions Club dinner on 3rd April. Please contact Des Brewster on 027 845 1752 if you are able to help. Thank you.

9th March

12th March

15th – 18th March

Other Events

2024

Annual Swap Meet, Nelson Branch

Race4Life Track Day at Teretonga

2024 Rover National Rally. Enquiries to roverrally2024@gmail.com or see

https://rovercarclub.com/

29th – 31st March

29th March – 1st April

2nd – 5th April

6th April

26th – 28th April

28th April

4th May

15th – 20th March

Warbirds Over Wanaka

https://www.warbirdsoverwanaka.com

South Island Easter Rally and 60th Anniversary Celebration, Nelson Branch

Post-Easter Rally Tour to Golden Bay

South Canterbury Branch Swap Meet & Bazaar

Highland Fling, Feilding. (Veteran/Vintage vehicles only.) Manawatu Branch

Rotary Club ofAshburton Plains Classic Car Run. Contact:Allan Lill allan@norwestseed.co.nz or 0274328328

Ashburton Branch Swap Meet 2026

Vero International Festival of Historic Motoring. Nelson.

Email version of The Wiper

The Wiper is also available by email, either as a link to an online version or as a pdf file. The pictures are in colour, it arrives earlier, (most of) the hyperlinks work – and it saves us money!

Please contact the Editor

Tuesday Ramble 26th March

10.30am: meet at the Clubrooms

11.00am: depart for Wallacetown

12.30pm: lunch at the Wallacetown Tavern (Cost approx. $30 per head)

Trying to arrange a visit for the afternoon

Contact Gerry 027 233 4634 with numbers before Thursday 21st

Make a note in your diaries now!

National Veteran Rally 2024 (Intro)

I have been contemplating selling the Saxon because it has done a few rallies for me and it has filled a niche in life's car rallies. Somebody mentioned that Dunedin (Otago VCC) was hosting the 2024 National Veteran Rally so I thought I would hang onto it for a bit longer and perhaps put in an entry. In July 2023 I texted the Otago VCC to get some more info and was told that registration documents would be out inAugust. I thought why not?!

Accommodation? I have a caravan. If it was parked somewhere handy to the venue I could stay there and after the Rally Dawn and I could carry on (after I dropped the Saxon back home) for a tour round our favourite spots on the South Coast. Problem solved, so I got online early August and booked the Rally and accommodation at the Dunedin Holiday Park.

Keith Nunn whom for some unknown reason I seem to get along with (I try to get along with most people cause life is too short to get into strife all the time) was keen to be navigator so he booked a unit at the Dunedin Motor Camp handy to where I planned to park the caravan. I warned him that the caravan would be too small for both of us as I am a noisy restless sleeper.

The next few weeks I prepared the Saxon for the Rally in the usual manner. I would go over to the shed and take the cover off her, sit down and have a long hard look and think “What a silly bugger I am. I don't need all this stress at my age”. Keith wanted to help but I had to stall him saying “It’s all under control.” BS!

A couple of weeks before the rally I had a minor medical hiccup which required me have to tests etc. for a few days following the Rally so it was a bit pointless taking the caravan to Dunedin as we wouldn't be holidaying after as planned. “Keith, can I stay with you?” I did warn him that I am a noisy sleeper but no problem. I woke in the morning of the Rally with a few shoes and towels around me that he must have chucked at me in the night but at least I had a good night’s sleep.

I spent a considerable amount of time preparing the car for the Rally, time that Keith wanted to share but I had it under control. Polish the brass with granddaughter helping: 10 minutes; change the oil: 5 minutes; clean up the old oil spilt on the garage floor: half an hour; tighten the grease caps two

turns each: 5 minutes; wash and towel dry the car: 10 minutes. Your maths are good. One hour prep and it’s Rally time.

We motored up on Thursday 25 January. Not in the veteran car but in the trusty Ford Escape with the Saxon behind on the trailer.

I am sure Keith will supply you with the details of the Rally. I am just providing a little background. The one thing that surprised me was the prize-giving at the final dinner. With all the categories of the veteran vehicles e.g. four cylinders, under 20 hp, etc. etc., the one open category that anyone could have won, the Saxon won it hands down - the Early Bird Trophy. The reward for getting the entry in early was a 5 litre pack of oil and a $50 garden nursery voucher.

I might have to hang on to the Saxon a bit longer.

Bill Sheddan

1913 Darracq owned by Stephen Kidd, Dunedin

Brighton and National Veteran Rallies

TheVeteranRallywas onFridaymorningandwhilehavingbreakfast down came the rain and hail! However the sun came out driving to the starting point at Sunnyvale Sports Centre and the Rally got away to a hiss and a roar, heading south to outer Mosgiel for a route taking us along Riccarton and Factory Roads then back to Glenbrook Drive and a drive around the Chatsford Retirement Village. The drive then included Wingatui and School Roads on our way to a Reserve in Outram. Lunch and field tests were held which we done very well at. Back to camp through Green Island and South Dunedin - keeping our eye out for speed bumps!

A very nicely restored 1912 Rover

Up early next day for the Brighton Rally and a repeat of the rain hail etc. Hadtodressupinwetweathergear–onlytotakeit offagainattheOctagon when the sun came out! A great display of vehicles with lots of onlookers, and at 10am set off through the city through 5 sets of traffic lights - luckily all green. The wee Saxon done really well getting over the top of Lookout Point in second gear.As we proceeded to Brighton via Green Island lots of

families were sitting on chairs by the roadside waving. After the field tests and another good packed lunch it was more chinwagging and catching up with others. That evening it was the Prize-giving Dinner where Bill picked up one of the prizes.

Keith Nunn

All photos (and captions) by

Bill Sheddan

Second oldest car beside the prettiest car. 1903 Oldsmobile, 1914 Saxon. Big thank you to Bill and the Saxon for a great weekend, and well done to the Otago Club for all the work that goes into organising such an event.

1918 LaFrance. A huge car that was unmanageable until it was fitted with power steering courtesy of Toyota.

One of 20 motorcycles entered, Ray McCulloch’s 1911 Abingdon King Dick, with Greg Elder's Cadillac and the Southland Branch's Darracq in the background

Petition to NZ Minister for Regulation on rules for collectible motor vehicles

Started by Ella Forrest

We, the undersigned, petition the Minister for Regulation to remove onerous, expensive and unwarranted regulation related to older, collectible motor vehicles intended for domestic, social, recreational or promotional purposes. A “collectible motor vehicle” is 30 years old or older with historic value, this includes a “vintage motor vehicle” as defined in Motor Vehicle Registration and Licensing) Regulations 2011 s3 (40 years or older). We petition for the following changes:

1. No VIN inspection on first-time collectible motor vehicle imports; instead a WOF or club inspection.

2. NO VIN inspection on lapsed collectible motor vehicles, instead reregister after a one-time WOF.

3. No WOF on 40 year old collectible motor vehicles, five-year WOF for 30-40 year old collectibles, and elimination of the 6 month WOF on motor vehicles made before 2000 (one year for 3-30 years).

4. Low Volume (modified) collectible motor vehicle regulations to be developed in consultation with specialist car clubs (such as hot rod clubs) to ensure safety while controlling costs and avoiding unreasonable compliance demands.

From the Editor: fuller details are available by clicking on the link below, the above is just a synopsis.

https://chng.it/B4WWLK2JTD

As those of you who have been following developments via “Beaded Wheels” and the Minutes of the VCC Executive Committee and AGMs will know, the FOMC has been trying very hard on behalf of all motoring clubs to get the WoF interval out to 12 months. Changes in NZTA management (and government!) have caused repeated delays. It will take years to change legislation to achieve this so the last Minister of Transport suggested an exemption would be the best way forward, which is what is now being worked towards.

The VCC continues to work with NZTA regarding certification of classic cars onto NZ roads. They are trying to educate the inspectors around older cars and the fact that they only need to meet the standards of the day but this is going to be a long term issue as most inspectors are now under 40 years-old and mainly do Japanese imports.

The LVVTA is already responsible for the modified vehicle regulations. Although there is a lot going on “behind the scenes”, it is probably a good idea to support the petition. The more noise we make the sooner some of our shared concerns might be heard and the more people who are seen to be in support the more likely it is that things will change.

Sent

in by Rae Wilson

Gore VCC Supper Roster

May To be advised

June To be advised

July To be advised

April No volunteer IFYOUAREUNAVAILABLE ON YOUR ROSTERED NIGHT, PLEASE CONTACT ME OR SWAP WITH SOMEONE ELSE ON THE LIST.

August To be advised

September To be advised

October To be advised

November To be advised

December To be advised

January To be advised

February To be advised

March To be advised

THANKS,DESBREWSTER Weneedtocaterforabout30 to 40 members each night. The cuppa and serving of the supper is to be arranged withinthe Social Committee.

If necessary, ingredients and/or small items can be bought at Gore New World and charged to the Gore VCCaccount.

Sent in by Evan Henderson

REMINDERS

FOR

SALE & WANTED ADVERTISEMENTS

ARE FREE to Club members. Advertisements will be published in three consecutive issues. Please contact the Editor.

The Branch receives commission if you insure your vehicle(s), boat(s), house(s), contents or travel with Vero Insurance and quote the Branch number (300135).

https://vcc.org.nz/vero-vcc-insurance-scheme/

VCC name badges: are available to order by contacting the Branch Chairman (cellphone 027 210 4131). N.B. If you’re not wearing one at a meeting you will attract the Sheriff’s attention and are likely to be fined!

You are very welcome to come on Branch runs in your modern. Join the VCC online at https://vcc.org.nz/how-to-join/

Both Bluebridge and Interislander Ferries offer discounts to VCC members: https://vcc.org.nz/membership-benefits/

To Let: the Gore Branch Clubrooms are available to VCC members for personal functions at very reasonable cost.

Newsletters from other Branches are posted on the VCC Website each month. Go to: https://vcc.org.nz/news-from-our-branches/

They are also sent to each Branch by email and can be obtained on request from the Secretary or the Editor.

GORE BRANCH BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER

The Branch bank account number is 03-0915-0246885-00

Please put your name and the reason for the payment in the details boxes. Thank you. The Treasurer Thank you. The Treasurer

In New Zealand History This Month

NZ cricketers skittled for 26 28 March 1955

In recent years most test matches between New Zealand and England have been keenly contested. This was not the case in 1955.

Bert Sutcliffe

(Don Neely - Te Ara Encyclopedia of New Zealand)

At Eden Park, Auckland, on 28 March, New Zealand cricket experienced its darkest day when its 11 batsmen could muster only 26 runs between them against England (which in those days toured as the Marylebone Cricket Club).

This total is still a record test low. Kiwi hopes were raised briefly in November 2011 when South Africa’s fearsome pace attack reduced Australia to 21 for 9 at Newlands, Cape Town. Unfortunately the last Australian pair boosted the total to 47. The next lowest test tallies remain two scores of 30 made by South Africa against England, in 1896 and 1924.

The Eden Park test had started promisingly enough for the home team, which was 154 for 4 when John Reid was dismissed for 73. New Zealand slumped to 200 all out, but then put itself back in the match by dismissing the MCC for 246. Local satisfaction was short-lived. In its second innings, New Zealand took 27 overs to amass 26 runs. Only opener Bert Sutcliffe reached double figures, scoring 11; only two other batsmen scored more than 1. Four bowlers shared the wickets, with nippy off-spinner Bob Appleyard taking 4 for 7.

When New Zealand toured England in 1958 it fared little better, being dismissed for 47 and 74 in the second test. New Zealand suffered many defeats at English hands before finally winning a test, at Wellington’s Basin Reserve in February 1978. Needing only 137 to win, the English were dismissed for 64, with Richard Hadlee snaring 6 for 26.

This first victory – at the 48th attempt – was a tribute to perseverance, and it was enthusiastically welcomed as proof that New Zealand could at last compete on the cricket pitch with its former colonial masters.

By 2019 New Zealand had won 11 and lost 48 of its 105 tests against England, an opponent it had faced nearly twice as often as any other country, despite the diversified touring calendar of recent decades.

There was better news the following year

New Zealand's first test cricket victory, 13 March 1956

New Zealand was already 3–0 down in the series going into the fourth and final test at Eden Park in Auckland. Their West Indies opponents included household names such as Gary Sobers and Everton Weekes, who had broken batting records for a New Zealand season.

New Zealand players celebrate their first test victory, 1956 (NZ Herald/newspix.co.nz)

New captain John Reid won the toss and decided to bat first. His aggressive innings of 84 underpinned New Zealand’s total of 255. Then Tony MacGibbon and Harry Cave each took four wickets as the West Indies was dismissed for 145.

New Zealand declared its second innings closed at 157 for 9, with wicketkeeper Sam Guillen top-scoring with 41. West Indian-born Guillen had played on the Caribbean side’s tour of Australia in 1951–52 before settling in Christchurch.

The West Indies needed 268 for victory in two sessions, but another fourwicket haul by Cave saw them skittled for 77 as rain threatened. In the last act of the match, Guillen stumped Alf Valentine. After 22 losses and 22 draws in 26 years of test cricket, New Zealand at last tasted victory. Adapted from: https://nzhistory.govt.nz/calendar/3

Scottish Weather

40 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably.

People in Scotland sunbathe.

35 degrees - Italian cars won't start.

People in Scotland drive with the windows down.

20 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.

15 degrees - Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in Scotland go swimming.

Zero degrees - New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Scotland have the last BBQ before it gets cold.

10 degrees below zero - People in Miami cease to exist. People in Scotland lick flagpoles.

20 degrees below zero - Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.

80 degrees below zero - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Scottish Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

100 degrees below zero - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Scotland pull down their ear flaps.

173 degrees below zero - Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Scotland get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.

297 degrees below zero - Microbial life start to disappear. Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

460 degrees below zero - ALL atomic motion stops. People in Scotland start saying "Chilly, you cald an aw?"

500 degrees below zero - Hell freezes over. Scottish people support England in the World Cup!!!!

Online Bonuses

The Riverton Lodge Hotel:

https://rivertonlodgehotel.wordpress.com/

Te Hikoi Museum and Information Centre: https://www.tehikoi.co.nz/

Violet’s Scarf Exhibition

https://www.stuff.co.nz/southland-times/news/133061519/violets-scarfexhibition-at-te-hikoi

Southland Heritage Month:

https://southlandnz.com/southland-heritage-month/

New Zealand Federation of Motoring Clubs Inc. (newsletter page):

https://fomc.nz/newsletters/

Southland Branch website:

https://www.sporty.co.nz/southlandvintagecar

Baptising a Drunk

A man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher.

The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk shouts, "Yes, I am."

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him back and asks, "Brother, have you found Jesus?"

The drunk replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus!"

The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?"

The drunk answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus!"

By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk again - but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his arms and legs about, he pulls him up.

The preacher again asks the drunk, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?"

(get ready for this.....)

The drunk staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water, catches his breath, and says to the preacher,***

"Are you sure this is where he fell in"?

Sent in by Stewart Quertier

[and slightly modified by the Editor]

by Jill Youngson at the Gore A&P Show

Diana Rickerby doing some fine weaving The Welsh family watching Absolutely beautiful. A very talented lady. the Grand Parade

Jokes from the Editor

I got fired on my very first day at the bank when a customer asked me to check his balance and I pushed him over.

A large line was forming outside a local department store. A man approached and asked, “What’s going on?”

The last person in line told him, “We’re all waiting to get the new Barbie doll.”

So the man joined the queue, unable to resist a Barbie queue.

My Dad used to try to annoy me with bird puns, until I realised that toucan play at that game.

The teacher had to confiscate a rubber band in algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Tailpiece

Sent in by Donna North

Run reports, articles of interest, photos, technical tips, letters and feedback are always welcome.

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Please send all contributions to David North before the 3rd Wednesday of each month for inclusion in the next issue of The Wiper

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The opinions and statements in The Wiper are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the policy or views of the Gore Branch or of the VCC. The Branch accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any statements.