Trading Freedom For $$$

If you are part of the same corners of the internet that I am, having a 9-5 sounds like a death sentence. Working for “the man,” being stuck in the office for eight hours a day, having to request off and ration your vacation days so you can take that trip to Thailand that you’ve been lusting over via friends’ Instagram posts.

Of course, a lot of this rhetoric comes from people with motives — motivational speakers wanting you to attend their conference about “being your own boss,” or travel bloggers hoping you’ll purchase their course so that you, too, can be a “digital nomad.” But a lot of it just comes from other self-employed or freelance people—like me, tweeting about how great it is to be able to run my errands during the day when the stores are empty, or posting an Instagram photo from a new location every week.

But, just like I quit my staff writer job at a magazine in NYC to become a fulltime freelancer (or digital nomad, if you will)—I eventually quit my job as a digital nomad to go back to a 9-5, and I have no regrets. Here’s how it happened, and why.

You know how when you’re at a corporate job and in the same position for a while, you know it’s time for either a promotion or a move-up career wise? After doing the digital nomad thing for about a year and a half, I knew it was time to take the next step—I just didn’t know what that next step was. After lots of discussion and introspection, I narrowed it down to two general options: I could either try to build my freelance business by hiring people to work under me, or I could try going back to a full-time job.

After weighing both options, I still didn’t make a decision, but I started applying to jobs in Los Angeles, the only place I really saw myself being happy settling down (side note: I was very burnt out from traveling at this point, all I wanted was a place to call home). When I got a job much more quickly than I thought I

It’s been about five months now that I’ve been working in my 9-5 role, and I have nearly zero complaints. Here’s why going back to 9-5 was the right choice for me right now.

Let’s start with the monetary benefits, since money was my main my motivating factor for taking a new direction with my freelance career.

The fact that I make more money at a corporate job may not surprise you, but it may surprise you that I’m actually spending less time working.

Here’s the thing about freelancing: you may not be in an overly air-conditioned office for eight hours a day, but you’re probably at least halfway in the “office” for minimum 12 hours a day.—even if that office is a beach in Bali. Your clients text you at odd hours, you bring your laptop everywhere, and if you have 30 minutes to kill before meeting a friend for dinner, you are probably busting out your laptop and trying to cross something off your to-do list. I would estimate my “average” work day was about 10 hours. At my current role, I work exactly from 9-5, with an hour lunch break, every day. Oh, and I’m making double the salary I made freelancing.

People tend to say they like working a 9-5 because of the “consistent” paycheck. As someone who is very responsible with my finances and is always saving money, the inconsistency of being paid on time as a freelancer isn’t what bugged me (although it could definitely be annoying), it was more just feeling like I was always working, but not having more to show for it than my friends who were clocking in to an office every day and spending half their desk-time watching YouTube videos.

As a freelancer, any free minute I had felt like it should be dedicated to making money. You know that meme about freelancers trying to monetize all their hobbies and activities? That has always been me, especially so when I was freelancing full-time.

Sure, I did a lot of traveling and I could make my own schedule—but because money was inconsistent and there was always something on my to-do list, I still spent so much time working, or thinking about work. Even when I had enough clients that I had to start saying no, I was still always keeping my eyes peeled for the next, better paid or more interesting, opportunity. Working as a freelancer is sort of like using dating apps. There’s always something (or someone) to fill your time, but you’re still predominantly feeling unsatisfied, insecure in your position, and wondering if you’re one swipe away from something better.

When I got home in the evenings after working my 9-5 job my first week, I was almost in shock and at a loss: WTF was I supposed to do with the next five hours before I’d be ready for bed? I literally didn’t know. People always asked me what I did in my free time, and I never knew how to answer them, because I was literally always working in some capacity, unless I was hanging with friends (and even then, sometimes I was still working).

Going back to a 9-5 has blessed me with two things that are completely new to me: free time where I don’t have to think about work, and disposable income that I finally don’t feel guilty about spending on myself. Yes, I was making okay money as a freelancer and putting away a couple thousand dollars into my savings account some months, but it was always for a “rainy day” in case all of my clients decided to drop dead unannounced. I was also able to put away that chunk of money each month because I was barely spending money on myself unless absolutely necessary—I also didn’t have rent or car payments, or a Wi-Fi bill.

meditation and creating a beautiful apartment for myself—but I’m learning to stop feeling guilty for spending money on “impractical” things that make me feel good, and to stop feeling guilty when I’m not productive every single day.

For the first time in my life, I feel like I am making more and more decisions based on how I feel and what I want. Since moving to LA, I’ve spent entire weekends without opening my laptop—that’s something I don’t think I’ve done since sophomore year of college, if that. I’m learning to better go with the flow, because I don’t have to allot time in my schedule every day for a little bit of freelance work.

Everyone says that working for yourself is empowering because you call all the shots in how you spend your time, but I feel much more empowered where I’m at now because I don’t have to wait for a guy to take me to that restaurant I’ve been wanting to try, I don’t have to spend an extra hour taking the bus because I don’t want to pay for an Uber. Time is money, and when I wasn’t making what I felt was enough money, it ate into my time.

Of course, I could have easily moved to Thailand and lived like a queen and kept doing what I was doing. Would I have been happy? Maybe, for a while. But knew I wanted to live in a big city in the US, and when I lived in NYC on my 32k salary, I was miserable because I felt like I was always stressed about money. I knew I needed more money to build the life I wanted for myself. Money may not buy happiness, but it definitely helps build a nice foundation to find that happiness.

Not to mention, living in a transient space all the time is tiring. As a bit of commitment-phobe, I loved it at first. I wasn’t chained in to any one job, or any one city, or any one schedule at any time. But studies have shown that being in an inconsistent relationship is actually worse for your psyche than being alone—and I feel that it weighed on me by the end of my digital nomad stint.

It’s easy to feel like you don’t have your shit together when you don’t have the “typical” markers of success in our society— a full-time job, an apartment, a romantic partner, a car—but what I felt towards the end of my digital nomad time was more than that. It was almost a lack of connection. Now, I like having my own apartment to return to at the end of each day, I like having my handful of coffee shops that I regularly frequent, I like having my friends that live in my neighborhood that I can hit up at the last minute for dinner or a hike. I didn’t have any of these things when I was a digital nomad. Yes, I had a lot of friends all over the world, and I had my own little morning routine, and shit was exciting— but that routine could be thrown out of whack on any given day, I never really

The thing about not owing anyone anything, is also feeling like nobody owes you anything—and I’m trying to undo that mentality and learn to appreciate obligation and commitment.