Foster Care Clothing Closet

from May 2022

Florence Food & Wine Festival

FACT VS. MYTH

Local foster parents share the inside scoop on what’s real and what’s simply a myth!

MYTH: I can’t be a foster parent because I don’t want to deal with the separation after the child is moved. FACT: Many foster parents maintain a relationship with their foster child/children well into their adulthood.

MYTH: DSS covers all the needs for children that are placed into foster care. FACT: DSS provides assistance but normally it isn’t until weeks after the child is placed. Foster parents have to immediately clothe, provide childcare, and anything else for that child until the government assistance kicks in.

MYTH: You need to make a certain amount of money, be a certain age, and be married in order to be a foster parent. FACT: You just need to have a willingness in your heart and love for the children.

Contributors: Deborah, Sarah, Shenedra, Shannon, Taylor, Cheri, Kace, Ryan, and other anonymous parents MYTH: If you feel like you’d “get too attached” you wouldn’t be a good candidate to do foster care. FACT: All children deserve someone who loves them wholeheartedly and without reserve, a fan who thinks they are the most amazing human being on the planet. The love we give them is a gift with no strings. And the Lord heals that place in our heart and prepares it for a new life who needs to be loved in a traumatic situation. In other words: it’s not about saving ourselves… it’s about ministering to them. Get too attached!

MYTH: Foster parents are always aware of children they are getting. FACT: Emergency placement of a child can happen anytime - midnight, 5am, 2pm, whenever. There is not always a warning or plan to receiving a child. Foster parents fill a void in a crucial time and have a lot on them to give a safe, loving environment to a child who has been removed from a difficult situation.

MYTH: If you ask all of the right questions, you’ll know everything about the child you are getting. FACT: The child will be the opposite of everything on the list you wrote down. Be flexible.

MYTH: When you get a child from foster care, the state pays for everything. FACT: A child often comes with nothing, as a newborn, or with items that can’t be used. The state gives you $100. For a teen, that will buy shoes. For a newborn, bottles and one can of formula. You will need to be able and willing to help with your own resources. Starting out, I sold almost all of my valuables so I would have extra. On top of that, I used the Foster Care Clothing Closet (FCCC). Without the help of the FCCC for the three newborns, two year old, and four month old I got in the first two years, I don’t know what I would have done. Getting started is the hardest part. After that, it’s easier. But having the benefit of the FCCC for items only used for short periods of time is invaluable.

MYTH: I commonly hear, “I could never do it; I would get too attached.” That is by far the biggest myth when it comes to foster care. FACT: I always say, if you do not get attached, you’re doing it wrong. When the time comes, the pain will be there. However, you find joy in knowing you created stability and love, and helped heal trauma in a rough patch of a child’s life.

MYTH: I’ll never be able to be a shared parent; I’m too angry with the biological parents. FACT: I love the mother of my foster children and we have a very healthy relationship.

A mother that was forced to have her child fostered shares her experience:

My baby’s foster parents were great and I pray there are others like them. Not all additional caregivers make you feel unfit. Some fight with you while others assure you that your child is loved, protected, and cared for. Losing my baby to foster care was an experience I didn’t want; I cried and fell into depression. I worried myself sick but when I knew my baby was fine and met her foster parents, I knew she was in good hands. Her foster parents encouraged me to fight even harder to prove myself and get my baby back.

Foster parents share how Foster Care Clothing Closet provided for them during their time of need:

“Having the Foster Care Clothing Closet was a major benefit. When a child comes with nothing and the size of that child is unknown, it's helpful to have this resource and be able to grab a few outfits, pajamas, and undergarments until you are able to get that child properly clothed. It also gives you a chance to communicate with older experienced foster parents on what some of the challenges may be. For example, if the child is a bed wetter or not potty trained. I was able to get safety rails for one of my beds for a smaller child that liked to roll out the bed. My FCCC rocked and we had an amazing team that loved to help. One call/text and you were able to get supplies for what you needed.”

“We were told about FCCC in training. I thought that was the best concept ever. Not only did I have to opportunity to utilize the services but also to give back. “ “As far as the FCCC goes, it’s AN ABSOLUTE BLESSING. I never could have made it through without them. The children came to me with nothing. I had an extremely malnourished child that has grown like a weed since coming to me and then a baby, now two, that seems to be in a new size every week. In addition, I have received help with car seats, baby necessities, and simple toys that the kids can call their own.”