Issue 245

yorkvision.co.uk

Vısıon YORK

30.09.14

THE UK’S MOST AWARDED STUDENT NEWSPAPER

4 in 5 slam Nisa prices

BY LIZZY ROBERTS

A SURVEY conducted

by York Student Think Tank has revealed huge dissatisfaction of campus shop Nisa in a series of shocking statistics...

Cont’d - Page Two

LIFE AS A CELEB SEE PAGES 24 & 25

INSIDE

ISSUE 245

SWAP SHOP OF HORRORS Page 7 EXCLUSIVE

20-PAGE PULLOUT

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH

SHOCK INVESTIGATION

YORK’S HIDDEN HUNGER SHAME

BY JACK GEVERTZ

DESPERATE STUDENTS at York are turning to food banks to eat after going hungry, a York Vision investigation can reveal.

According to figures by the Trussell Trust, the main parcel provider in York, more than 1,300 people in the largest student wards around the university have accessed one of the four centres open since June 2012.

Full story - Pages Four & Five

2 Vısıon YORK

Tuesday September 30, 2014

STEP IT UP YORK!

YORK’S NEW SPACE PROGRAM

ASTRO DUCK

BY JAMES PASCOE

RETURNING STUDENTS’ eyebrows were raised as the steps leading up from University Road to the University Library faced demolition.

The staircase was previously one of two main routes linking campus north and south, but students will now have to use the library bridge to reach the library.

Library staff told Vision: “It’s part of York City Council’s plans to improve University Road for cyclists and pedestrians… They are building an alternative set of steps and modifying the route to the bridge from Market Square.”

Peeved third-year biologist Sam, said: “Health and safety keen-beans strike again. I hope this isn’t like when they ridiculously modified Vanbrugh Bridge to make it laughably narrow.”

Another commented: “It’s ridiculous. Those stairs are so useful and they’ve had all summer to fix them. Doing it now disrupts so many people and all for the sake of some stupid pedestrian plans – I’m a pedestrian and this irritates me!”

GOT A STORY? >> 07584 046 079 We pride ourselves on being the best source of student news in York.

BY CHLOE GAUGHAN A PROPOSAL to send a duck named Astroduck to space by the University Astronomy Society is asking for donations.

The society want to send Astroduck to space for valuable footage and usable scientific data, however need your help in raising up to a maximum of £860.

The already raised, bare minimum needed to fund the expedition is a sum of £540. This includes a medium weather balloon to reach

4 IN 5 OF STUDENTS “NOT HAPPY” WITH NISA PRICES

BY LIZZY ROBERTS Email vision@yusu.org news@yorkvision.co.uk Web yorkvision.co.uk @YorkVision

Twitter Lizzy: @lizzyroberts93 Chloe: @ChloeGaughan95

outer atmosphere, helium, a parachute, a data blackbox and a GoPro camera for high quality video footage.

However, upgrades and extra flights and helium mean the desired sum is considerably higher.

Adam Shore, project manager told Vision: “This project is the first of its kind in the Astronomy Society’s history, and we’re excited to have as may people involved as possible.”

[Cont’d from front...]

An online survey and asked questions relating to student opinion of the campus retailer, which has come under fire in recent months for selling maggot infested vegetables. Last edition, Vision reported that the average price for broccoli in Nisa was a whopping 69p compared to high street broccoli prices of just

45p.

Nisa’s store spokesperson commented on the findings saying: “We regularly compare Nisa’s prices with those in other local stores to make sure they are competitive.

“We also offer time-limited discounts on selected items which can be very attractive... it is undoubtedly true that the big supermarkets generally offer lower prices. If you are

doing a weekly shop for groceries and provisions, you would be better to go to Tesco or one of the other major stores, or arrange a delivery online...”

One student responded to this comment stating: “It’s not good enough for them to basically say ‘go somewhere else if you don’t like the price’.

“They should care about their

customers more. Without us, they’d have no business – what would they do if we boycotted them for their crazy prices? They’d be so screwed. ” YUSU also faced serious criticism over their food outlets. The survey revealed that over 46% of the students “didn’t think that cafeterias or food places on campus offered healthy food options”.

@lizzyroberts93

Editor: Leon Morris; Managing Director: Will McCurdy; Deputy Editors: Callum Shannon & Barto Joly de Lotbiniere; Scene Editors: Charlie Benson & Tim Douglas; Digital Editor: Tom Davies; News Editors: Lizzy Roberts & Chloe Gaughan; Deputy News: James Pascoe; Chief News Reporter: Jack Gevertz; Comment Editors: Eliza Gkritsi; Deputy Comment: Joe Williams; Features Editors: Phillip Adams & George Dabby; Sports Editors: Ollie Meakin & Helena Sutcliffe; Deputy Sport: Lorenzo Wong & Jon Barrow; Chief Sub-Editor: Anna Hinchcliffe; Chief Sports Photography: Dan Golton Opinions expressed in York Vision are not necessarily those of the Editors, senior editorial team, membership, or advertisers. Every effort is made to ensure all articles are as factually correct as possible at the time of going to press, given the information available. Copyright Vision Newspapers, 2014. Printed by Mortons of Horncastle.

NEWS

Tuesday September 30, 2014

Vısıon 3 YORK

DERWENT GEARS UP FOR CABARET D

GEORDIES ASHORE!

DERWENT COLLEGE is once again putting on one of the most popular event of freshers week, Cabaret D. The night of Wednesday 1st October will see Freshers and STYCs putting on their glad rags and hitting DBar for a night of wild Cabaret-themed debauchery. Tickets often sell out soon, so don’t miss out!

BY HELENA HORTON OUR FAVOURITE highbrow TV stars are coming to Kuda next week.

The cast of Geordie Shore are treating lucky students to a meet and greet on the 8th October.

Kuda are urging students to get on the guest list, selling tickets to the much-anticipated event for £5, which is enough to get Willow entry on a weeknight and three Sambuca shots.

The music is ambiguously advertised as ‘any thing goes’, which we suppose is true to form for the Geordie Shore cast.

A student who wished to be unnamed told Vision: “I don’t know that there’s enough fake tan in York to accommodate them.

“No, I am not going, because they are intolerable.”

CHANGE IN UNI SEX ED

YORK SET TO EMBRACE SEXUAL CONTENT EDUCATION

BY BARTO JOLY DE LOTBINIERE

OUSE NEXT?

BY LIZZY ROBERTS THREE DRINKERS were rescued from York’s rivers last Saturday, one having jumped from a bar balcony.

This follows a series of fatal incidents over the past year and an overhaul of City safety schemes.

YUSU have launched ‘Nightsafe’ in the City Centre on student nights to keep people safe this term.

It has been confirmed none were seriously injured.

SEXUAL CONSENT is one of the key welfare issues that the university are focusing for the new academic year and the arrival of the new 2014/2015 cohort of freshers.

One part of the university which is spearheading this new awareness campaign is James College. With Mike Britland, James’ College Officer, and College Tutor Anais Pedica dedicating part of the official James College Welcome Talk, for recently arrived freshers, to the subject of sexual consent.

College Officer Britland said he wanted to make sure that “All of our new students would understand how seriously we take it,and hopefully to educate them about how to avoid doing something that they’ll regret.” Freshers were informed that the ‘consensual’ nature of sexual relations is crucial as well as the difference between an active “yes” from an absence of a ”no”.

According to Britland, “the talk was well-recieved, and several students have told me since that they appreciate me talking about consent, and that unwanted sexual advances were something they had been worried about when coming to University”.

Mike and Anais have since shared the text of their talk with the other colleges and are working with YUSU President Sam Maguire on how they can take forward their consent education programme.

4 Vısıon YORK

NEWS

Tuesday September 30 , 2014

EXCLUSIVE VISION INVESTIGATION: HUNGRY

GSA ELECT

WHY I TURNED TO FOOD BANKS I WAS first advised to visit a food bank a year ago. I had just signed for a house and, despite putting down an extortionate deposit on an incredibly cheap rent, I had to make a whopping 1.5k payment for rent over the summer in Term 3 – which obviously left me seriously out of pocket.

I don’t actually have any parents to fall back on, and my student loan ran out, so I naturally tried to extend my already 2k overdraft. I was refused.

Naturally, I had to make changes to my budget and the food had to go. I was actually advised by my doctor to visit a food bank after I was begged by a friend to visit him – I had obviously lost quite a bit of weight and my studies had dipped. I was forced to take a year out.

The truth is, the university was pretty powerless. Yes, I managed to get a bit of money from their hardship, and they ‘chatted’ to me a few times but they always judged my bank statements or told me to get a part-time job.

In the end, I stopped asking for help from the uni as it got embarrassing.

[Cont’d from Front] The charity does not know specifically how many students have been to one and cannot estimate but the wards with the largest student housing population recorded a significantly larger number of handouts.

In the Hull Road ward, where one in six houses are occupied by students, 451 people have accessed a bank in the last 28 months, while in the Heworth ward, which covers Tang Hall, 694 people have accessed one.

In Fishergate, Osbaldwick and Fulford, 156, 62 and 26 people respectively have visited a bank.

The fewest recorded visits were in the Heslington ward, where 5 people visited a bank.

More than one in six people who have been to a food bank in York have been under the age of

“I SAW IT AS MY ONLY OPTION” THOUSANDS TAKE FOOD HANDOUTS

PLEA

25. Rising costs of living and delayed loans could be behind students visiting them, recent research suggests.

One student, who does not wish to be named, told York Vision they accessed a food bank in desperation.

“I saw it as my only option at the time, so I went,” they said.

“I can’t say loads of people do it but it’s not something you want to tell everyone about, so who really knows.”

A spokeswoman for the Trussell Trust York Foodbank said “occasionally” some students did come.

She added that those student areas were populated by people living in social housing, who were the most likely to come to the bank.

“I don’t think that Foodbank is naturally where they would come for help, perhaps the uni-

versities provide advice and support as their first point of call,” they said.

The Student Support Hub, the key place for those with financial worries, has help in place for undergraduates and postgraduates who fall on hard times.

York Vision understands that officials have referred students to professionals who can

help refer them to a food bank.

A spokesperson did not respond to a request for comment, but their website says its two financial schemes - an emergency loan and Hardship Fund - is available for students.

Of its emergency loan, it says: “We can only offer emergency loans in very limited circumstances. Most particularly, when home undergraduate or

nursin delaye An it add unexp at any year y plying Je Welfa ficer, s help f

NEWS

Tuesday September 30, 2014

Vısıon 5 YORK

Y STUDENTS TAKE FOOD BANK HANDOUTS

OF SHAME

ng students’ funding is ed.” nd of its Hardship Fund, ds: “If you find yourself in pected financial hardship y point in the academic you should consider apg to our Hardship Funds.” emima Busby, the YUSU are and Community Ofsaid students should seek from the Student Support

BY

JACK GEVERTZ

Hub if they need to.

“It’s concerning to hear that any student has had to use a food bank”, she said.

“It’s important to note that the University provides a lot of help for students struggling financially. Anyone who finds themselves in such a situation should get an

appointment from the Student Support Hub, who will put them in touch with the University’s financial support unit which provides budgeting advice and hardship loans for those in need.”

The news comes after leaders of the National Union of Students made a statement in April insist-

ing growing numbers of students were turning to food banks to eat.

One institution, Hull University, reported a doubling of parcel claimants, with 200 students needing assistance, up from 100 in 2013.

A University of York spokesman said: “We are aware of University

of York students volunteering in the four food banks, but we are not aware of students attending them as users.

“If any student finds him or herself in dire straits and unable to afford basic provisions, they can apply to the student hardship fund managed by Student Support

Services.”

Students who access food banks have to be referred by a professional such as a counsellor or doctor.

Support by the university includes the ones mentioned in this article, including the Hardship Fund and emergency loans.

6 Vısıon Tuesday September 30, 2014 THE TIMES EXCLUSIVE: THEY ARE A CHANGIN’

NEWS

YORK

BY CHLOE GAUGHAN CHANGES TO the bus route 6 are to come in place this new year with buses running every 12 minutes on the regular route.

These changes will only take place on Mondays to Fridays between the morning and afternoon peaks, and will stay the same as before for Saturdays and Sundays. The purple route services Clifton Moor to the University Heslington East campus, via the city centre, Tang Hall and Osbaldwick.

The service 4 bus has also added an extra later journey, which will run seven days a week at the later time of 23.30.

Times will no longer be shown for the Heslington Hall campus, even though all number 4 buses will still drop off and pick up students from the two stops.

INSIDE COLLEGE 9

CONSTANTIN’OPEN

BY CHLOE GAUGHAN AFTER YEARS of building, Constantine college, the ninth of the bunch, is finally open.

Freshers moved in on Saturday into the newest, greenest and closest college to the Sport Village for all 621 students to enjoy.

The new JCR (pictured left) is finally finished and looks fantastic and modern, providing new students with computers, chill areas

and games to enjoy. Along with a great JCR, students at Constantine had the option of choosing from standard blocks, all with 3/4 beds and a 3:1 shared bathroom ratio.

The housing also includes kitchen doors which open out onto the brand new decking, or even deluxe ensuites, which are large, comfortable flats which include 42inch LCD TVs (with TV licence) in every kitchen.

Prices range from £81.54

for an Economy Standard shared (twin) to £157.85 for a studio flat.

An open block system with all undergraduate blocks is in place. This means from 11am-11pm students keycards will allow you access to all corridors in your block. This idea hopes to bring students together to create a college community feel and to establish Constantine like all other colleges with a proud and belonging atmosphere.

NEWS

LICENCE TO THRILL

Tuesday September 30, 2014

Vısıon 7 YORK

EXCLUSIVE: SEVERED HEADS FOR SALE

SWAP SHOP

BY CHLOE GAUGHAN UNIVERSITY REGISTRAR David Duncan has written a short fantasy novel which centres on a campus-based thriller.

The short story revolves around a university registrar as a former intelligence officer at the University of York.

His jobs involve solving campus crises while in the world of international espionage set in York, Beirut, London and Brussels.

All proceeds from the book go towards YuFund to give funding towards departments, societies and colleges.

More Than Conquerors is only available on Kindle, priced at a reasonable £1.24 on Amazon.

Professor D. Petrie said on Amazon: “it would make a cracking long hour drama.”

We explored the weird underbelly of York’s black market

‘Authentic tree oil’. No, we don’t know either.

Some half-used Asian foodstuffs.

Mmmm, Bratvurst with cheddar cheese chunks...

BY HELENA HORTON FANCY BUYING half a pot of dubious foreign vitamins? Or some fake severed heads? Then York Uni Swap Shop is apparently the place for you.

We looked at the weirdest things on sale in the popular online store, used by 5,334 students at the University.

1) Assorted vitamins. If you fancy using someone else’s medication for a party you are sure to never forget, why not buy a set of half used vitamins for £10.

2) Some faux severed heads. Why you would want these, I wouldn’t know. However, we are surprised that some rugby ladz haven’t bought these to wear in a banter sports costume yet, or to play a ‘hilarious’ prank on their housemates. There are also surely enough sociopaths in York (Think how many people stood for YUSU president last year…) to merit someone having decoy severed heads strewn around their house to detract attention from the real ones in the fridge.

3) A strange mix of drawing pins, paper clips, scissors, partly used face wipes, nail polish, half-used Boots shampoo, some sticky tape and some cotton wool. Really, these are uni essentials, especially as the Boots own-brand shampoo is only 50-60% left. Mmmm, other peoples’ half-used cosmetics. Swap Shop is really onto a winner here.

4) Two bottles of IrnBru, two of water and three of J20. Why go to a supermarket when you can enjoy the lukewarm delights of Cong Li’s selection of beverages?

5) A Willow t-shirt. The whole fun of purchasing a Willow shirt is when you are off your face in Willow, and are being so irresponsible with your money that you buy a Willow t-shirt as a side order with the jagerbombs for you and your boo. Next morning, you wake up with the shirt and your boo triumphantly draped over you and then you’re like “Oh, shit, I just wasted £5 of my unearned loan on a Willow t-shirt”. So why anyone would skip all of that fun to pick up the iconic garment from Wentworth instead is beyond me. It’s like getting a henna tramp stamp – why would you go home when you could go hard?

8 Vısıon YORK

NEWS

Tuesday September 30, 2014

Vısıon YORK

MILLI VANILLI CUT MOTION CASSETTE SATURDAY 27TH SEPTEMBER

SAYS

A little healthy competition

After the maggot veg scandal last term, Nisa has again come under fire for their exorbitant prices.

In their reply to our challenge they basically told customers to get lost.

The 15,000 strong student body deserves better than what is essentially a glorified corner shop.

The University needs to authorise the building of a second medium-sized supermarket to add a healthy dose of competition to the mix and end the maniacal monopoly of Nisa.

Only then will prices come down and quality will improve.

07.10.14

BASS// TECHHOUSE// TECHNO

Banking on a crisis?

We don’t know how many students go to food banks or whether the number is particularly large.

But what we do know is that some students do and bosses need to act.

One way of doing so would be to promote the bursaries and scholarships available to students.

Another would be to look at making grants easier to access in times of crisis.

A student, for example, should not have to see a food bank as their only option when they lose their wallet.

We must be fairer when giving out money as research shows nutrition and attainment go hand-in-hand.

facebook.com/ mansionunderground

Taking a turn for the worse When is the university going to act on the dangerous routes into campus?

It’s simply not enough anymore to say it’s the council’s responsibility.

Signs are there, but gates are left open and students still use them late at night.

You can’t stop people using them but better obstructions could be in place.

One door closes, another one opens We are ecstatic to hear the news of new library doors.

The extra entrance was needed during times of a student stampede.

53-55 Micklegate 01904 500880

FRIDAY 26TH SEPTEMBER 10PM - 3AM £2.50 ADV, MOTD FACEBOOK.COM/SCRATCHYSJ

17th birthday party with Mark E

yorkvision.

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NEWS

Tuesday September 30, 2014

Vısıon 9 YORK

YORK VISION NEWS EXCLUSIVE

TRON’S SWEET SUCCESS

DIABETIC STUDENTS will be able to enjoy an alcopop at YUSU Bar, the Courtyard, thanks to a campaign by the Disabled Students’ Network, chaired by Thomas Ron. Next week, sugar-free alcopops will be ordered into all YUSU bars and served at the bar, along with sugar-free lemonade.

Thomas Ron, Disabled Stu-

dents Officer, commented: “Basically the issue was reported to me by Katie Hignett last year and it sounded like an important issue to address.

YUSU Bars were very happy to lead on this and really stepped up to the plate “I think in terms of provision we must remember that diabetic students exist and all places that serve food and drink should make sure they

YORK VISION’S TWEETS OF THE WEEK...

have options and they don’t run out.”

Jacob Roth, third year physics student, said, “It’s a bit of a double edged sword in my opinion. On the one hand it’s great, as most alcohol, aside spirits (which are ironically healthier for me to drink in the right quantities), contain loads of sugar. Beer, cider etc. are as bad as Coca-Cola for that. So it’d be nice to enjoy a bevvy

without worrying about blood sugar for a change.

“On the other hand, should someone have a hypoglycemia (where the blood sugar plummets – which can happen if you don’t have enough food, do too much physical activity, or perhaps most importantly here, if I have too much quick release sugar like sweets and sugar drinks, my blood sugar will drop below what it was be-

fore ingesting the sugar) people will probably think they’ve actually got drunk and passed out from the alcohol. Whereas before your mates might be watching out for you more, knowing you were having all that sugar.

“And because you’re not worrying about the blood sugar as much, as a diabetic you’re not gonna be looking for the all the signs.

10 Vısıon YORK

Tuesday September 30, 2014

NEWS

NEW FIBBERS OPENS Students get Microsoft upgrade

BY BARTO DE LOTBINIERE MICROSOFT 365 will now be available to students, courtesy of the University.

This will make accessible a free copy of the Microsoft Office suite, which can be available for five devices.

It can be continued after graduation as long as you continue to pay the fee.

One York student who spoke to York Vision said: “That sounds amazing! I’ve been really needin to upgrade my office software.”

Another student howeber complained that it was a “way to get people to buy Window 8”.

Your subscription will remain valid as long as you are a student at York and connect online every 7-10 days.

FIBBERS 2.0

YORK WEATHER

CLUB HAS MASSIVE REFURB

100o

JACKWILLS

TOWN

BY CHLOE GAUGHAN THE NEW Fibbers, formerly Tokyo, has had complete renovation work over the summer to become YUSU’s official Thursday club night.

The decision was swiftly changed to Fibbers, previously decided Mansion, due to problems with capacity size for official club nights.

The renovation means a new Bier Keller bar area, bigger capacity, and bigger bands to play.

Already street comedian Dapper Laughs is set to play on Halloween, along with a number of tribute bands and up-and-coming acts set to play at the live music venue.

However problems have already begun at the revamped venue with York St John students by means of broken air conditioning. With promises that all has been fixed and “the remote found”, York students have high hopes for the Thursday night club.

The new Fibbers also promotes a second lapdancing club in York, which has no direct access from the music venue with a separate queue to separate the customers.

Fibbers is open for University of York students on official Thursday nights.

Vısıon YORK

GAP-YAH-O THAMES N-

WEATHER with LIZZY ROBERTS

CAMPUS IS experiencing serious floods of Freshers coming up from the South following reports of showers of sick after short spells of ‘Ring of Fire’.

Later this week, there are predicted heatwaves in Derwent Cabaret D is set to reduce Freshers to a ‘hot mess’... certainly better than an Eton one!

@ChloeGaughan95

ANOTHER SET OF LIBRARY DOORS?

THE LIBRARY is now more protected from the wind than Fort Knox is from criminals, with a ridiculous FOUR sets of doors installed to keep the library isolated.

A new set of library doors was installed over summer, making students have to walk through three sets of doors and a turnstile before entering the library.

We contacted the University to ask how

much this set of doors, which some students labelled as “unnecessary”, cost and they told us that they didn’t know.

One student said: “It’s probably to stop us smoking. Every time they build a new set of

doors, they take up more of the precious smoking area.

“We need our fag breaks, uni, otherwise we will fail our exams.

These doors are unnecessary and I for one am going to stage a boycott.”

NEWS

Tuesday September 30, 2014

Vısıon 11 YORK

EXCLUSIVE: STUDENTS AT RISK EXPIRED

BY HELENA HORTON HAVE YOU ever used an expired student discount card?

Fifty-seven per cent of former students are reported as being able to use their expired student cards without getting caught.

Shops don’t often check that student cards are being used within their expiry dates – or that that they are being used by the right person; 37 per cent have allowed family and friends to use their student cards to take advantage of their discounts.

The five most likely places to accept a student discount card: 1. Fashion retailer – 41 per cent 2. Cinema – 37 per cent 3. Restaurant – 22 per cent 4. Attractions – 16 per cent 5. Clubs/bars – 13 per cent A recent graduate told Vision: “I use my student card all the time, to buy food and clothes.

“No one ever checks, and because I am scruffy and wear my uni varsity jacket a lot, I still pass for a student.”

VLE HISTORY

BY LIZZY ROBERTS A NEW VLE policy adopted by the History department has sparked anger between third year students over poor organisation.

Reading lists are normally available weeks before term for students to get ahead with their work. This year, however, a new policy adopted over summer allowing tutors to post as late as week one has caused anger amongst students.

One third year student described History students as “cash cows” on Facebook, for the few contact hours they receive on top of this scandal.

WALK OF FEAR “MY HEART WOULDN’T STOP BEATING – I WAS TERRIFIED”

BY JACK GEVERTZ DANGEROUS ALLEYWAYS around the university are putting students at risk of crime, a York Vision investigation has found.

Three routes on the Heslington West campus do not contain warning signs instructing students not to use the path, particularly late at night, while another does – but has a gate left wide open.

All the routes, found to be used more by first year students than anyone else, do not contain lighting and could be putting hundreds of students in danger.

The four areas under investigation were the allotments path between Wentworth College and Fulford, the Heslington Road alleyway, the path between Halifax College and Heslington Hall and the route leading from Halifax College to the end of Heslington Village.

A York Vision poll, surveying 270 undergraduates and postgraduates, found more than 90 per cent had used a route listed last term.

Of those who said they did, almost half (46%) were first years, three in 10 (29%) were second years and one in five (21%) were third years. Just four per cent said they were postgraduates.

One student who wished to remain anonymous told Vision: “One night coming back from town, I ended up walking alone down Retreat Lane. I spotted someone coming at me. My heart wouldn’t stop beating – I was terrified.”

YUSU’s Welfare and Community Officer Jemima Busby said that students should be vigilant when using these routes late at night.

“Although York is a comparatively safe city, there are unfortunately some routes to and around campus which can be dangerous.

“The most we can do right now is make students aware of these, so my advice is simple but important: if a route makes you nervous or is signposted as less safe overnight, then please don’t use it.

“We’re working on improving the lighting around campus, but this is a slow process, and we don’t want students to compromise their safety in the meantime.”

@imjackyeah

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Vısıon YORK

NEWS

FAKING IT

Tuesday September 30, 2014

YORK

TV SHOW COMES TO CAMPUS

BY CHLOE GAUGHAN JUST DAYS before the official release of the Live and Loud line up, a shocking FAKE line-up poster was virally spread around eagerly awaiting York students.

The poster featured hip-hop stars N-Dubz and 2008 X-factor winner Alexandra Burke in the YUSU stamped ad.

Both artists have not seen a new release in some time, and with the lack of YUSU social networking support behind it, many returning students questioned the reliability of the poster.

However some students acknowledged at the release of the official line-up, that the fake one was in fact better.

Emma Whiddett, a second year Linguistics student commented saying, “I can’t believe the N-Dubz one isn’t real! I actually prefer the fake line-up to the official one!”

The official line up, released swiftly the following day, sees the likes of headliner DJ Fresh, Gold Dust, along with the likes of alt-rock band Peace and DJ Kirsten Nair (Hodor on Game Of Thrones) to live up to the last year’s main act Katy B. Rob Paulson, second year and Athletics president, however, was most excited for Hodor.

He commented, “It’ll be really awesome, Hodor at his best!”

Vısıon 13

HIT TV show Britain’s Got Talent is coming to campus this Thursday.

Britain’s Got Talent producers will be in YourSpace in YUSU between 2 and 5PM. YUSU activities officer Chris Wall posted on Facebook: “If you have a talent come along and show off.

“If they like you, then you’ll get the opportunity to perform at Manchester or London ON THEM and be on the TV!” The producers will be paying students travel expenses to attend the live shows if they pass on Thursday.

BIG BOOZE CRACKDOWN

STUDENTS TO BE BREATHALYSED TO ENTER CLUBS IF YOU’RE thinking about going out next week, you may want to think again.

With new rules from the North Yorkshire Police you may not get into the club.

Police are threatening to breathalyse revellers on entry to pubs and bars in an attempt to reduce drunkenness in the city centre.

A spokesperson for North Yorkshire Police said: “Door staff will use them at their discretion if they believe that someone has consumed an excessive amount of alcohol.

“A person could be refused entry if their alcohol level is too high.”

The move has angered students.

One second year Philosophy student commented: “This is ridiculous.Drunken people don’t cause damage on a night out, and frankly I’d rather that drunken people were contained in a safe environment like a bar than out being sick or urinating in the streets.

“Bar staff can and do refuse to serve those who are too inebriated and if York wants to go back to a prohibition style era then it can feel free.

“We will see our bars losing money and people pre drinking more.”

ROYAL SOCIETY WIN

THE UNIVERSITY of York is welcoming a new Research Fellow to its Department of Physics under the Royal Society’s prestigious University Research Fellowship Scheme.

Dr Aires Ferreira is

one of 43 new University Research Fellows appointed across the UK under the highly competitive scheme.

Dr Ferreira, who will join York from the Graphene Research Centre at the National University of Singa-

pore, will investigate spintronics in adatom decorated graphene.

Graphene is an atomically-thin layer of carbon known as ‘the wonder material’ for its huge potential for a broad range of applications.

Dr Ferreira, said: “This award is a wonderful opportunity. It will allow me to develop a long-term research project in the new fascinating field of atomically-thin materials, in which powerful surface physics techniques can

be devised to modify the quantum properties of charge carriers in a fundamental way.

"I am really looking forward to the work, and the opportunities that the stimulating environment at the University of York has

to offer.”

The Royal Society scheme aims to provide outstanding scientists, who have the potential to become leaders in their chosen fields, with the opportunity to build an independent research career.

ARE U-KIPPING ME?

F

or those of you who don’t keep up with the neverending party political media circus, UKIP held their party conference in Doncaster last week.

Now, the various scandals which have befallen the purple clown car are well documented, but sadly for this year’s conference they’ve managed to do no more than sit around formulating policy. Which has almost ended up being even worse.

The latest UKIP showstopper is a plan to lower tuition fees for students studying maths or science degrees, reopening the millenia old wounds between BA and BSc and reaffirming the good old-fashioned stereotype of the right as a bunch of bean counting, cultural Luddites who think we effete, arty sorts such as myself should be up in front of a McCarthyite Un-British activities committee as suspected commies.

Truly inspired work chaps, well done.

LIBRARY CONTINUES TO HATE SMOKERS

A

s many of you will have noticed, the library has installed a new atrium thing-a-ma-jig.

I’m sure if you asked them they would tell you that it was designed for some reasonable sounding purpose or other. But I know their game! They just want to force York’s increasingly maligned smoker population a little further back across the bridge, like the scum we invariably are.

tom.davies@yorkvision.co.uk

‘Looks like he sleeps on the floor’ - Kallum Taylor

TOM DAVIES

‘Boring’ - YUSU Bastard

Follow me @TomDavies111

It’s a New Year at York, so let’s all try and do it right.

M

y first term at York seemed to last forever.

The halcyon days of the fall of 2012 stretched out into an immortal moment in time when I was for the first time, perhaps truly happy, truly content, feeling like there was no place I’d rather be in the whole wide world. I’m now about to enter my seventh term at this University, and by extension, my third and final year.

My feelings now are currently those of focused, meticulous panic. This is the endgame, my swan song. The grim, terminal prognosis of graduation looms and the darkness is beginning to set in. I’ve made my plans, my list of what I want to accomplish with my last year at Uni. It’s rather long, and I can’t help but curse myself for not doing more of it last year rather than spending all that time watching TV and losing money at cards, or during first year, when it seemed like I had all the time in the world.

But, and I hate to piss all over your bonfire this early on Fresher’s, you really don’t have all the time in the world. So let me serve as a walking warning to you all, although don’t for the love of God pity me. I’m brilliant, they don’t give this job to just anyone you know (they really do).

Why wait until you’re as wizened as me to cram in all those things you meant to get round to doing? Do it all now, carpe jugulum, go for the throat.

JCRC and YUSU elections are

held every year, why not run? Not as a serious candidate, obviously, that would be ridiculous. No, run as a vaguely subversive joke candidate, you’ll never win anyway so there’s no harm in it (please note that you might win, we elected a man dressed as a pirate as YUSU President once, please be careful, you don’t want to end up actually having to do the job).

At University, everybody ends up a tad short on cash at some point. But don’t let that hamper you, let student poverty drive you to new experiences! I’m reliably led to believe that a certain supermarket in York throws out perfectly good food on an evening, and that clandestine bands of students are known to raid their bins. Or how about volunteering for one of the numerous money making opportunities available here on campus? All you have to do is look. What about applying to be part of a psychological study?

Like the Stanford Prison Experiment, or that crap Dr. Milgram was up to. Those both sounded like fun? Well, until they got out of hand, obviously.

Sometimes it seems like York has a society for just about everything, but I’m sure we can think of a gap in the market if we put our heads together. The stupider the better, it’ll be even more hilarious when you get Union funding.

I had an idea in first year for forming a society called Frontsoc, an organisation which defensively and suspiciously refused

to tell you what it did, whilst repeatedly claiming that there was nothing to see here and that you should damn well keep on walking.

What about this. I once wrote a feature for this parish on the greatest ever student pranks.

Merry higher education rogues who ascended to the hallowed halls of trickster Olympus. Things have gone downhill since then, but we can bring it back.

I’m not suggesting anything specific you could (or could not) do, but in the 1930s the Harvard satire magazine stole a state emblem – which bafflingly was an enormous wooden codfish. The theft caused a three day, state wide manhunt which involved the dragging of the Charles River and a Lampoon editor being detained at a Philadelphia airport for several hours. Now if that doesn’t inspire you all to greatness, I don’t know what will.

In all seriousness, though, and this is my message to you all, whatever you do, be sure to enjoy yourself this year, and make sure when you graduate, you can look back and say you didn’t totally waste the time you spent here.

You don’t have to listen to my suggestions.

In fact it’s probably best if you don’t take my ideas entirely to heart, because I’m pretty sure some of the things I’ve advised you to do over the course of this article exist in what is broadly known as a ‘legal grey area’.

THE NEW COURTYARD

I’ve been at the grand reopening of the new and improved Courtyard this week. Reaffirming the idea that I will do almost anything for a free drink and a chance to flaunt my position in the Student Media.

It’s all had a bit of a polish, and we await with bated breath the return of the King. The Courtyard King that is, which appears

to be some semi mythical menu item about which information is frankly rather vague.

I spoke to the manager, Max, who assures me the new set up makes service far quicker and more efficient, which can only be a good thing, although I would also suggest shooting anyone who insists on paying by card.

COSTLY NISA IS NOTHING NEW

W

hen I was but a wee lad beginning my three year stretch at the University of York, the supermarket on campus was called Costcutter. We called it Throatcutter, because – y’know – it was outrageously expensive.

A rebrand later and the Nisa supermarket on campus has successfully succeeded in changing the sign above the door and absolutely nothing else.

Nisa was the old supplier to Costcutter and thus we are still treated to the exquisite range of Heritage foodstuffs, which I assume is a subsidiary company of Beelzebub Inc. My personal favourite is the cheese. Which manages to be curiously overpriced and yet has the consistency of silly putty.

I don’t understand how this issue has only just come up. Go to YourShop if you must shop on campus. They get away with it because we’re wilfully complicit in their monopoly. Tell them where to go.

TRON HITTING THE GROUND RUNNING

T

op marks once again to Disabled Students Officer Thomas Ron with his involvement in yet another victorious campaign. This one to introduce sugar free drinks into The Courtyard for diabetic students. Tron is certainly a man to watch this year.

THIRD YEAR RESOLUTIONS 1) Stop trying to grow a beard, Tom, you can’t and you look fucking ridiculous.

2) Visit King’s Manor just to prove it actually exists.

3) Find meaning in this empty, theatre of the absurd we call life.

OPINION

OPINION A

LEON MORRIS: STUDENTS SHOULD NOT BE STARVING

hand has been extended to the university: it needs to be firmly grasped.

Today we found out that students at York are turning to food banks to survive and to get the nutrition they need.

And we clearly need to act.

We often joke about the disgusting food in catering or the incredulous prices and lack of choice at Nisa. But whilst making these jokes, we fail to grasp the reality that some students at this university campus are facing.

More than 1,300 people in the largest student wards around the university have accessed one of the four centres open since June 2012, with the wards with the largest student housing population recording a significantly larger number of hand-outs.

There is without a doubt, when comparing these figures to that of the census records, that students are being forced to go to food

“Students in York are turning to food banks – and we need to act.” banks to survive. I even know a guy who dropped out of uni for the same reason for a time.

There may be a number of reasons for the hearty of the cause but, frankly, no-

body is taking the blame – and nobody is likely to.

But there’s another reason why the university does really need to listen up to this worrying news, even if it is difficult to talk about. The fact that nobody knows exactly how many students have not been advised to visit food banks is worrying. The fact that the university has failed to provide a comment on the situation, despite knowing they have referred students to the banks, is a frightening issue.

This isn’t solely an issue for students here at York; this is also an issue for the wider community. More than one in six people who have been to a food bank in York have been under the age of 25.

Even more disconcerting is the fact that many other universities are now considering setting up their own schemes, such as Hull University. This is a sign that the university system is severely failing students.

In the last four years we have seen a rise in tuition fees, despite there being no original mandate, a hit in the number of students attending university from working class backgrounds (mainly males), and the sale of the Student Loan Company – which Vince Cable controversially U-turned without even consulting the Cabinet on.

What’s more, Willets claimed the selloff would deter people from “deliberately not paying back”. Clearly, students are held in contempt by both the government and the wider public and do not receive the re-

58% of student debt is owed by the bottom 25% in terms of household net worth.

£20,000; estimated average increase in debt after the 2012 student finance regime.

1,300: amount of York residents who

have accessed

food banks since 2012

The number of people accessing food banks since last year has risen from

346,992 to 913,138

Tuesday September 30, 2014

Vısıon 17 YORK

“Universities have become the modern day equivalent of a sweat shop”

spect that we deserve.

Students are regularly blamed and accused of miscalculating their budgets, or drinking and sleeping too much.

But obviously there is an acceptance that we are clever human beings who made it into higher education in the first place, so why is there still a taboo on the matter?

The actual taboo involves blaming universities.

Students are starting out at university without the proper guidance and are not equipped with the correct information of who to go to when in need. Students are facing genuine financial hardship without the absolute essentials.

Of course, many will argue that this is in no way the university’s job. And they are wrong. Being an educational institution, and not a profit-making one, it is paramount it adheres to certain principles. One of those principles is to make the students’ life feasible. It is no less than its responsibility to make the meeting of one’s basic needs affordable.

That, obviously, does not mean controlling prices in general; that is not only impossible but absurd. It does mean, however, accommodating for those who can’t always afford supermarket prices.

And what we see is an unresponsive administration to the numerous complaints voiced by students. A study by the York Student Think Tank has shown that 85 per cent of students polled are dissatisfied with the prices in the only major shop on campus – Nisa. Whilst the university argues that the shop is only a ‘corner shop’ for stu-

dents, it is in fact a major part of students’ lives on campus and adds a massive hike in our expenses.

In other words, as students, we need the proper environment to flourish. And food banks do not belong in it.

“This is a sign that the university system is severely failing students.”

Whilst universities persist to care for the educational and welfare requirements of their students – it is clear that this isn’t their No.1 priority. Figures and where they lie on the league tables has become more important than our basic welfare needs.

Universities have become the modern day equivalent of a sweat shop – we are here to work for those of the future, to play our part in a capitalist society that doesn’t care about us – and we are learning those harsh realities right at the start. When we’re still struggling to get an education.

@imleonmorris

Bottom Line: Students are turning to food banks because of poverty – and this needs to end now

18 Vısıon YORK

OPINION

Tuesday September 30, 2014

HELENA HORTON:

I

NOT ALL LADS ARE RAPISTS

’m guessing that you’re all going to hear a lot about lad culture and rape culture from any education supplement you read coming up to Freshers’ Week. Probably so much that you’ll soon become sick to death of the phrase.

Sadly, I don’t think a lot of the people throwing around the term ‘lad culture’ know what it means, and what is worse, the phrase sheds unhelpful light on what the issue is. People often get it mixed up with rape culture, too. Luckily for you, I’m here to help.

The problem is not that people act like lads. I and other feminists have no issue with rugby teams chugging beer, wearing stupid outfits and running around Salvo like maniac children. That is not sexist.

What is sexist are some of the attitudes perpetrated by these lads and also others who you wouldn’t expect – such as authority figures, judges, police officers.

Referring to women as ‘slags’, taking photographs of people on your team getting with them, shouting at passing women that they are ‘asking for it’, and, as happened to one of my friends, pushing her over because she is an Asian woman.

These attitudes are sexist and are fostered by the hyper-masculine culture of these

people showing off to each other.

And this is how we get to rape culture.

When people don’t respect women, it plays into a difficult culture. When there are competitions about how many you can get with in a night, when you have fox hunting socials where the women are hunted as prey and socials which treat women as something to be consumed, this ‘blurs the lines’ (sorry) between what is a bit of laddish banter and what is rape culture.

“The problem is not that people act like lads”

And rape culture is so much more harmful than laddism. Rape culture is when we, as a society, label certain women as ‘slags’ who deserve to be raped. Judges ask women who report rape whether they were drinking at the time, they ask girls as young as 13 whether they were being ‘provocative’ – as if anyone provokes and therefore deserves assault. Police officers tweet that if you don’t want to get raped, don’t get drunk, as if it is the victim’s fault

for being taken advantage of. Women in relationships are not believed if their partner rapes them.

This is obviously far worse than simply calling women slags, but this sort of thing does not happen in isolation – these two attitudes are linked. Labelling a woman as a slag who is ‘asking for it’, having competitions about who can shag the most Freshers and posting ‘ironic’ sexist statements from Uni Lad on Facebook all play into this idea that women aren’t worth much, that women don’t have sexual autonomy, and ultimately that sexual assault is a fun game.

But it isn’t restricted to lads, and people in sports teams, though judging by the media, that is what you would think. Rape culture is everywhere, as a recent article in the Mirror showed about the Bullingdon Club, which David Cameron was part of, which didn’t let women go to official socials, but they were allowed to serve as ‘entertainment’ at less formal dinners. The club members made them go on all fours and whinny like horses as they joked about ‘riding’ them. Reports of sexual assault in Parliament have recently been revealed.

Women who are beaten and raped are often not believed, or they are told that they

were asking for it, or not to make trouble or ‘ruin a man’s life’ by telling their story.

This is regardless of where they are in the class system or whether or not they hang out with Uni Lads in nightclubs.

“Women who are

raped are told not to ‘ruin a man’s life’” So no, I don’t hate lads. Drink as much as you like and wear togas until your heart is content. When you use women in your games, when you treat us like chattel, that is when I have a problem. Being a lad doesn’t equate to being a rape apologist but the cultures are linked and until that ends we will have a massive issue with sexual assault at universities.

@helenashead

Bottom Line: Confusing lad culture with rape culture is wrong and misdirects attention

JACK GEVERTZ:

F

WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS

eeling isolated isn’t just about having little contact with people.

I felt isolated through some of my first year at university and I was surrounded by lots of people. For me it wasn’t so much the numbers, but more to do with feeling little value or like you didn’t share a connection with them.

Maybe the way I felt was linked to a superficial understanding of what Freshers would be like: people who I would instantly bond, share good times and ultimately be friends with forever.

For those international students who feel isolated, it’s something I can empathise with. Moving from one way of life with certain norms and traditions to another different one, perhaps entirely different, can understandably feel like a shock.

Not only are you expected to adapt to the new surroundings in such a short space of time, but you have to do it on top of finding your feet in your degree and everything else you plan to get involved in. And you may have to do all this by yourself.

Last week, I met with the pres-

ident of the Graduate Students Association, Jelena Horvatic. In her manifesto for election, she said one thing Masters’ students complain about is feeling culturally isolated.

“If elected,” she wrote, “my aim would be to build cross­cultural networks through activities such as film nights, pub quizzes and fun sporting events in which anyone can take part.”

One thing about cultural isolation is that it affects both domestic and international students for a range of reasons.

Some may feel a shock because of their background. Some may feel a shock because of different foods or different popularities in drink.

Others may not experience cultural isolation and may just feel lonely and desolate.

Friendship may be a key factor. Have you made friends?

Do you feel like everybody else has?

I certainly did.

Encouraging friendship between domestic and international

students for those who feel isolated or to prevent isolation should be a priority.

Building social bridges between students, by encouraging participation in sports clubs and societies, will increase inclusiveness and happiness.

“You are expected

to adapt to the new surroundings, find your feet in your degree; by yourself” What is essential is not making anybody change. Instead, we must promote ways to make individuals feel included as part of a community by encouraging their active involvement and forming bonds.

This is something Jelena is driving forward. A range of events, where anyone can get involved, will reduce feelings of loneliness and allow students the time to make friends.

I’m now in my second year of university. The choice of coming to university in the first place was not something eve-

rybody in my family had the chance to consider.

But I don’t regret making that choice.

In fact, in doing so I have met many great people and will hopefully make many friends, many of whom I probably wouldn’t have the joy of meeting without.

And this is the good thing about university. You get to meet, socialise and make friends with people from different backgrounds and cultures, experiencing new ideas for the first time.

These ideas will shape us as individuals, and go on to form our characters, personalities and the way we make decisions.

Many of us will feel lonely and desolate at some point in our life. For many, the key will not be in having lots of people surround us, but in having the chance to make friendships and form bonds so you feel included and part of the university experience.

@imjackyeah

Bottom Line: University should encourage real, personal friendships to tackle isolation and loneliness

SCENE SOCIAL MEDIA: THE 21ST CENTURY BRANDING IRON BECHDEL 101: HOW THE FILM INDUSTRY IS SIDELINING WOMEN A/W FASHION MUST HAVES

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH The true power of poetry, his time in prison and why we should all be more angry.

Note From the Editors HI!! We’re back!! And we’ve brought you a brand-spanking new issue full of wonderful, cool content written by our dedicated writers. As always, we’ll be equipping you with all the essential literary pleasure we’ve selected to tickle your inner fancy. Join us as we explore this 20-page entertainment galore!

We’ve updated our pull-out with smart feature material, such as the essential guide to getting into acting and sincere cock-ups within the gaming industry.

The film industry is also debated in our Bechedel Test feature which explores the reasons ficticious female characters are intentionally sidelined in today’s motion pictures.

We’re majorly excited to announce that our cover star interview is with that

of poet and self-proclaimed musician Benjamin Zephaniah, where he tells all about leading the life of a thinker and a radical.

It’s not all provocative interviews, however. In this issue, Scene gives you inside knowledge on the current state of York’s music scene as well as fashion must-haves this autumn.

In our unqiue Home and Away section we extend the endless reasons to binge drink at home with our simplle cocktail making guide, as well as insight into craft beer all within the city walls.

We hope you enjoy this edition - really, we do. A lot of work went into its making and you whipping with excitement is our main priority. Stay safe! Peace x

- Charlie Benson and Timothy Douglas, Scene Editors

www.yorkvision.co.uk/scene scene@yorkvision.co.uk

Scene . . . m a e T l a i r o t i d E 2

Music

Film

Mairead Kearins Milo Boyd

Sam Stockbridge Will Addy

Deputy Music

Deputy Film

Martin Waugh Louisa Hann

Zoe Bennell Michael Cooper

Books

Maddi Howell

Deputy Books Phil Watson Becky Boyle

OCTOBER 2014 FEATURES 5 How To Get Into Acting 9 Lady Gaga and Tony Bennett: Unlikely Musical Duos, Fibbers: The Low-Down 11 Game Journalists: Get Real or Get Lost 13 Bechdel 101: How the Film Industry is Sidelining Women

INTERVIEWS 6 Benjamin Zephaniah 9 Brand New Fibbers: Manager Adam Coffey lets us in on the latest 11 “Censorship is Pointless”

REPORTS 4 Off the Beaten Track: York’s Alternative Music Scene 8 Dancesoc: What’s New? 14 A/W Fashion Must Haves

HOME AND AWAY

17 Craft Beer: York’s Best Kept Secret 18 Pretentious Reads 19 Girlfriend of a Gamer 20 Blind Date

16 Home Cocktail Bar: How To Live Fancy On A Budget

OPINION 12 Social Media: The 21st Century Branding Iron

Tech

Costas Mourselas Adrian Horan

Deputy Tech

Michael Cooper Tom Davies

Stage

Life&Style

Selina Melissa Pope Izzi Graham

TV

Anthony Rickman Will McCurdy

Deputy Stage

Deputy Life&Style

Food

Megan Johnston

Maddi Howell

Tom Davies Zena Jarjis Jim Dee

3

REPORT

OFF THE BEATEN TRACK Tom Clabon explores York’s alternative music scene.

O

n the surface, York’s music scene is the same as any town. There’s the scuzzy pubs which only put on shoddy tribute bands, populated by middle-aged blokes wearing Oasis t-shirts. There’s the largeish venue which puts on less shoddy tribute bands and old X-Factor winners, populated by middle-aged blokes who’ve reluctantly been dressed up by their wives for the night. And for the Bright Young People, there’s the Top 40 clubs which charge you an arm and a leg for the Jäger bombs which you eventually vomit onto their wipeable surfaces.

Dig a little deeper and, thankfully, there’s a lot more going on. The sadly now defunct Woolpack Inn was formerly the hub of York’s underground music scene, and it will be interesting to see where the scene spills out into next. Dusk, surprisingly to some, may be the one to watch. Whilst most know it as a funky student-friendly cocktail bar, it is also starting to put on gigs for York’s brightest and best, such as local indie alt-rock heroes Bull at the launch of their debut album, She Looks Like Kim. This is an album well worth checking out for fans of Yuck or Weezer, and is available on iTunes and Spotify, as well as on CD in MOR

4

Music and The Inkwell.

In more Uni-relevant news, Dusk will also be the venue for the recording of YSTV new music show, ‘The Jamboozle Sessions’, the pilot episode of which is available on YSTV On Demand. Headlining the event will be Nudists, a merry band of fully-clothed York students with a taste for intelligent indiepop in the vein of The Smiths, Joy Division, and Television. They have a debut EP reportedly in the pipeline for 2015, tracks from which they’ll doubtless be eager to show off at this gig. Also in support are the very new and wonderfully named Fat Spatula, who play alt-rock which is simultaneously funkalicious (MusoJournalist word, that) and joyfully unstable. More acts are soon to be announced.

Those eager for more rough-around-the-edges indie-pop are spoilt for choice; JUNK are a three-piece purveyor of cheerful lo-fi jangle, nicely encapsulated by ‘All I Really Wanna Do (Is Baby Get Drunk With You)’. If you’re more eager for angsty grunge, the Nirvana/Dinosaur Jr-like Worm are available to send you into a Cobain-like trance. ‘Dust And Bone’ is a powerful tune certain to do this; just remember, kids, to stay away from

needles, shotguns, and anyone named Courtney. On a more energetic note are the obtusely named …And The Hangnails, who accurately describe themselves as “Loud-As-Fuck-GuitarPop”. Their debut album Rut only recreates the experience of seeing them live if you strap two speakers to your ears and turn it up all the way. This is more pleasant than that description perhaps implies.

If that isn’t intense enough for you for some reason (medical or otherwise), then fear not: York is home to a breakneck, deafening punk scene. At the forefront of this are The Franceens, whose Stepford Smiles LP is a non-stop up-tempo barrage of old-skool punk energy. They’re a constantly gigging band who can next be seen in York at The Fulford Arms on the 18th October. The other side of the punk coin are York’s infamous garagerock band The Valmores. The Valmores take no prisoners, suffer no fools gladly, and have been making a name for themselves with their attention-grabbing, balls-to-the-wall racket. They contrast the high-energy punky material with moodier, slower songs, but the overall impression is darkness and sleaze. In their own words: “like Morrissey on a comedown”.

How to... get into acting Felix Mosse Felix took a more unconventional route into acting. After several years in theatre school Felix landed himself a role in The Heights, a play by Northern Irish writer Lisa McGee performed at the 2009 National Theatre Connections. NTC is an annual event that showcases a slice of the best up-and-coming youth acting talent. The cherry on top of this particular piece of pie was that Felix got himself an agent with his performance and began auditioning. soon won out and the role of Peter in South-African vampire action movie Lost Boys: The Thirst saw Felix hit

the mainstream. The film sadly flopped into a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and Felix decided to hone his craft with an MA in Musical Theatre at Central St. Martins. From here he successfully auditioned for a part in “musical of the century”, The Book of Mormon. Currently still in the role of Elder McKinley, Felix says to “keep super fit and healthy if you’re looking to work in musical theatre. Roles in the West End in particular require strong physicality and endurance levels. Also, know your casting bracket and stick to it.”

Steven Rowan Jeram Chichester born and bred Steven Rowan Jeram has just graduated from York’s Writing, Directing and Performance course and, as ever, is bucking the trend. At odds with the low first year employment rate of acting graduates, Steven has won himself a role with the English Theatre Company; a small acting troupe that travels around Europe and stages English plays. On the topic of his fortuitous success, Steven is candid.

“At the end of the day it’s down to luck. Luck will always play a part in terms of what roles you come across and whether someone takes a liking to you. But you have to make the opportunities for luck

to happen. Audition for everything and don’t be put out by rejections. I recently went for an audition which turned out to be in a man’s house.

Although he asked me to get naked “to see how comfortable in my own skin” I was, the worst thing that came of it is that I’ve walked away with a stinking anecdote.”

He goes on to mention the golden rule for making it in the acting world; “This might seem a little disingenuous, but be as friendly as possible to as many people as you possibly can. As these are the people who will end up employing you one day.“

Oliver Dickens New WDP graduate Olivier Dickens is taking the tried-and-tested route into an acting career. Oliver spent his time at York working within the department in plays such as Simon Steven’s Punk Rock and Tony Kushner’s updated version of The Illusion. With several lead roles under his belt, Olivier worked through a series of gruelling auditions and gained himself a spot on LAMDA’s MA programme.

“I’ve just moved to Chiswick, London. I’m currently living with a

LAMDA graduate from the directors course, a York alumni. The guy who just left my flat just won the Evening Standard Best Newcomer Award. I’ve just been filming a web series called Supreme Tweeter this week. My advice to those looking to pursue a career in acting would be to exhaust any and all contacts you have. And remember they all started out as nobodies so take any opportunity you have if you’re new on the block.”

5

COVER STAR

BENJAMIN ZEPHANIAH

Oscar Pearson talks to the self-proclaimed “poet, writer, lyricist, musician and trouble maker” the power of poetry, his time in prison, and why we should all be more angry.

B

“Every day, at least once, you should break the law.” enjamin Zephaniah chuckled as he revealed the advice he offers to close friends and family.

“He’s just so well behaved and so ‘good’ in a Christian way,” said Zephaniah of a younger relative, “that I say to him ‘come on mate, get your penis out, do something fun…’”

We were in Spalding, Lincolnshire – Zephaniah’s home when not teaching in London; and we’d hired a room for what was one of my first interviews. Zephaniah, amongst Britain’s top 50 post-war writers according to The Times, is a Rastafarian poet and prominent social commentator. Raised in Birmingham – the “Jamaican capital of Europe” in his own words – he left school at 13, neither able to read nor write.

“Yeah, I didn’t actually leave,” he corrected me… “They kicked me out!”

So how much influence did those teenage years have in moulding his work today?

“Well, everything I do now comes from that period. It’s surprising that, at 55 years old, the passion, anger and energy for work and issues – I still have them now. It’s about everyone having the same opportunities.

“People told me I’d be mellowing right now, but I’m not mellowing… in some way I’m getting angrier and angrier!”

Zephaniah’s poetry allows that frustration to be channelled into accessible and sharable social messages – but to what extent? “Does your writing change the world,” I asked, “or does it simply entertain people?”

“My poetry doesn’t change the world: it changes people, and those individuals go on to positions of influence.

“I was performing in Dublin one day, and I took questions from the audience. I was talking about the importance of creativity and art in education. Fifteen years later I was in South Africa and this guy came up to me. He said ‘I remember seeing you in Dublin and I loved that talk you did. I’ve really taken that on board in the job that I do now.’

“I asked ‘what do you do?’ and he said ‘I’m the Minister of Education.’ And he was sincere! He said it really made him think and understand that education isn’t just about maths and being clever.”

Indeed, the arts is arguably the most powerful of weapons through which social change is sparked.

“If you look at a lot of regimes that want to really come down on people, one of the first things they start doing is banning and burning books. They lock up the intellectuals and poets, playwrights and thinkers; these people who really go out into the community and make an impression,” Zephaniah asserted.

Yet, whilst writing shifts attitudes and questions the norm; isn’t the only way to truly transform law – and therefore directly affect people’s lives – through politics?

“But I don’t think I’m political – I just care about things and want to do something

about them.”

“Isn’t everything political?” I asked.

“Everything is political, yes. I suppose the problem is, with a kid like me from my background, is that I know that when I talk to people – black, white, gay, straight – they think politics is a white man in a suit or a woman who’s power-dressed trying to be as manly as possible. So I worry about using the word ‘politics’ but I realise my poetry is always political. Bob Marley’s work is really political; but if you ever suggested he was political he hated it.”

“So would you consider becoming a politician to change people’s perceptions?” I questioned. “A man in a suit? You can change that!”

“Well, you see – I don’t think so.” Now visibly saddened, he continued softly: “Look, the system is so entrenched and their ways of doing things are just so well formed that people who are really passionate, who really care, and really want to stir it up; you don’t see them. Those politicians do great work in their communities from the back benches, but you never see them in the Foreign Office moulding foreign policy or anything like that.

“I always try and be as honest as possible, and I’ve said this many times but I never understand why people don’t get it – I think they don’t believe me. They put me on Question Time and stuff as if I’m willing to play that game – and I will go on and talk – but deep down, I’m a revolutionary.”

As a young man, Benjamin served a prison sentence for burglary.

“I’d be doing crime and I’d be thinking ‘how can I include this in poetry?’

“When I was in prison, the only literature we were allowed – and this may sound strange, but I’m not saying it for a laugh – was the Bible, and pornography. There was nothing in between.

I always found that really odd. We didn’t have a library – nothing educational – and I’m convinced they thought both things would pacify us. So what I did was a lot of thinking.

“When I left that prison, I remember an officer who said ‘give him six months and he’ll be back again.’ I remember telling him ‘I might be back, but next time it’ll be political rather than criminal.’

“I had sat in that prison cell and thought burglary, robbery – is that fighting the system? I used to have a Robin Hood attitude to my crime – rob from the rich and give to the poor.”

Looking back on his short venture into crime, I asked Zephaniah to reflect on what it taught him.

“Well first of all, this shows you that sometimes locking people up and throwing away the key is not a good approach,” he said. “That you should give people room for reform, and that I did those crimes because I was desperate and poor. I still have a

“They put me on Question Time and stuff as if I’m willing to play the game – and I will go on and talk – but deep down, I’m a revolutionary.”

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problem with people who sit on their riches and do nothing to help the poor.

“So I would say to them,” he said of the rich; “come and help me fight poverty. I would also apologise. It wouldn’t just be me reading a manifesto to them.”

There was a period in Benjamin’s life when he visited war zones and religious sites, and became closer to God but less religious. Why does religion give God a bad name?

“Well, look at the evidence. Some of the most religious institutions in the world are now not simply accused of, but found to be, hideouts for paedophiles. Some of these very same institutions deny basic rights – to control contraception, and look at the wars.

“Most religions talk about peace, community and coming together, yet the way they are manifested in the real world is like ‘we are the chosen few; we are better than you.’ I think people need religion to try and explain the world – why we are here, where we come from and where we are going. But I believe before religion we were able to do that.

“If you learn to meditate and get in touch with yourself; you can get in touch with God. That has

“The human being is very powerful and creative. But sometimes, we just don’t know how powerful an individual can be – it’s really sad.” nothing to do with the Church, that has nothing to do with preachers or a holy book. That’s just us! We can take control of our lives! But society has lost that confidence and it gives it to other people. The human being is very powerful and creative. But sometimes, we just don’t know how powerful an individual can be – it’s really sad.”

It wasn’t until Zephaniah joined the protest movements of London that his talents for performance poetry came to public attention. He had a book published, was noticed by – and worked with – Nelson Mandela, and now travels the world educating children.

“I study Tai Chi. And it’s when I teach people,” he grinned. “It is when I teach people: that is quite amazing.”

He visits China regularly to study and teach. “It’s a fascinating place. Everyone thinks of it as this kind of communist state but let me tell you; I’ve learnt more about capitalism since being in China than any other time in my life. It’s raw, naked capitalism. It’s kind of honest capitalism.

“If they have a relationship, it’s got to be one based on money. It’s not like in England where I can be your friend because you support Aston Villa and so do I… you do, don’t you?!”

“Portsmouth, but I do remember when Pompey rifled to a 3-0 win at Villa Park...” I replied.

“OK, let’s not talk about that. But you know what I mean – we’re so used to forming relationships based on the clothes we wear or the like, whereas in China everything is about profit. It’s interesting because I learn a lot about humankind there.”

And who better for us to learn from than Benjamin himself – the leading individual who has popularised poetry again.

“I used to think nurses were women,” he finished.

“I used to think police were men. I used to think poets were boring, until I became one of them.”

Since our interview with Benjamin, we’ve spoken to many others – such as Nigel Farage, Katie Hopkins and Nick Clegg. Visit chatpolitics.org and yorkvision. co.uk/features for more.

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REPORT

DANCESOC: WHAT’S NEW? Determined to be noticed this year, Dance society is coming back with a bang, one of the largest, friendliest, enthusiastic and fun societies on campus. With a new look, new committee, new central location (James Hall) and new events, we are evolving to find new ways to encourage all to dance. As a well-established, award-winning society we will continue to offer amazing opportunities to compete nationally and perform on and off campus, but what else is new this year?

The biggest news to hit the dance scene on campus last term was the merge of Dance society and Ballet society. Over the course of the next year the two committees will be working together to create the greatest, largest, most talented and harmonious societies set to get going next autumn. We thought it was about time that there was just one place where dancers can enjoy all dance styles and compete, perform and socialise together. No longer will dancers feel split loyalties or struggle to make both societies’ events, as this year we will be working together closely to ensure socials, competitions and performances are for all members from both societies.

In other news… we are looking for creative, imaginative and innovative dancers to choreograph for our upcoming events, showcases and competitions. Dance society offers the opportunity for people to work with an idea and music they love to create a piece, whether it be their first time trying or they are an accomplished choreographer. With our annual Christmas showcase approaching, performed on campus, this is the most

8

fantastic opportunity for new choreographers to have a go. We encourage every single member of our society to take part in this and can’t wait to get started on it!

For those that just love to dance, we of course have our wealth of weekly classes for all abilities.

Taught by our talented student teachers, we provide affordable tuition in Tap, Jazz, Contemporary, Street, Belly Dance, Commercial and ZUMBA too! An exciting development this year will be our Performance squad. This year the squad, which was tried and tested last year, is set to be improved and organised by our dedicated Captain, offering amazing opportunities for those who love to perform.

As if that wasn’t enough, Dance society is also offering the amazing opportunity to have master classes this year. We look forward to welcoming external teachers including an Outstanding Choreographer currently working with MATTHEW BOURNE on his Lord of the Flies production!

Excited? We certainly are! A busy, busy year ahead for Dance society. We hope that by evolving and continuing to offer new opportunities and experiences everyone can see how fantastic it is to learn the beautiful art of Dance.

For more information check out... uyds.co.uk Facebook.com/uoydancesoc

FEATURE

FIBBERS: THE LOW-DOWN Scene talks with Fibbers Manager, Adam Coffey, about expectations of the new venue.

LADY GAGA AND TONY BENNETT:

What has the new Fibbers got that no

UNLIKELY MUSICAL DUOS

other club has to offer?

In the light of this unlikely pairing on recent jazz album release Cheek to Cheek, Mairead Kearins explores how – in music – opposites often attract.

We are all incredibly excited with what the new venue has to offer. From creating Stein Bier Keller to the 700 capacity gig venue, we know we are able to bring something to York that it has never had previously.

Why the change of venue and where has it changed to?

The team behind the live music at the new Fibbers hasn’t changed. Tim Hornsby – the former owner of the old Fibbers, and live music legend – is still booking all of the bands. Except now he is able to have a venue (the old Tokyo) which is almost double the capacity of what was available previously.

Blue & Stevie Wonder: ‘Signed, Sealed, Delivered’ Blue have been guilty of doing two unnecessary collaborations, the first being ‘Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word’ with Elton John. However, that was bearable in comparison to the catastrophe that is this version of the Stevie Wonder classic. The song did not need reworking with a mediocre boyband.

The song did not need overworking to make it sound more like an R&B track with Simon Webbe rapping ‘Wrap me up’ before the legend comes in and does his thing. If anything, this song has trampled all over Stevie Wonder’s legacy. If anyone has the right to change how it sounds, it’s the person who sang the original, not some band that will later appear on ‘The Big Reunion’.

Nelly & Tim McGraw: ‘Over & Over’ When associating a duet partner for hip hop heavyweight Nelly, most people would think of Kelly Rowland from their massive hit ‘Dilemma’. Not many would ever think of country singer Tim McGraw.

Yet they managed to create this hit which reached number one when it was released. Although I actually like the song, it just seems like a mismatch made in hell. No one ever listened to an R&B anthem and thought “I would like some heavy country twang in there”. Equally, no one ever listened to a country masterpiece and thought “I would like some rap over this guitar”. A mixture of southern drawl and stereotypical R&B lyrics made this song a massive success.

Eminem ‘Stan’

&

Elton

John:

Although it was weird that the original version featured Dido which worked wonderfully, Eminem really stepped it up and had piano god Elton John replacing Dido’s dulcet tones at the 2001 Grammys, creating the most talked about moment of the evening. It was literally a case of chalk and cheese, but the results were phenomenal. Because of this incredible performance, the pair now have a friendship based on their love and appreciation of music.

Considering the amount of homophobic lyrics that Eminem had produced by that point, it was a controversial performance to say the least and is one that has gone down in Grammy history.

Do you think such a dramatic change of venue will affect the character of the club?

We want to create the ultimate fun pub! The Stein Bier Keller is something that we have been planning for a while and we cannot wait to finally get it off the ground. With massive steins, beers from around the world, live music and dancing on benches! We’ve seen other cities do this type of thing for far too long and we think it’s finally time for York to get in on the action.

How have you changed the interior?

5ive & Queen: ‘We Will Rock You’ Where do I begin with this? Another ‘Big Reunion’ album desecrating the legacy left by one of the biggest rock bands of all time. The nasal vocals sound like a kitten’s purr in comparison to the raw rock vocals displayed by Freddie Mercury. Then there is the unnecessary rap in the middle to give it that 5ive twist which I would normally accept but not over one of the most infamous instrumentals of all time. It says featuring Queen but with only Brian May and Roger Taylor it’s hardly featuring them at all. It’s the original track with some awful, unnecessary additions. What is even worse is that this monstrosity went straight to number one and was then later performed at the Brits. That’s right, this music car crash was actually encouraged to be performed.

My ears will never recover.

The renovation certainly wasn’t just a lick of paint and a few more lights put up. Just by looking at the pictures you can see how much work has gone into the place to the point were the old Tokyo is barely recognisable. Tokyo has gone, and the old Fibbers has gone.

Are you confident Fibbers will remain a popular student hotspot now that it is the official YUSU Thursday night?

Yeah, of course there’s the club nights side of thing.

We believe we have an incredibly strong selection of weekly events this year. The team behind Phat Fridays are bringing ROYALS to Fibbers every Monday and of course YSJ’s official Wednesday FRAT HOUSE, UoY’s Thursday REBELS and we can’t wait for the return of Fibbers massive indie night every Saturday, which we are now calling CTRL.ALT.DEL and spreading across two rooms.

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OPINION

SOCIAL MEDIA: THE 21ST CENTURY BRANDING IRON ADRIAN HORAN discusses the social media vortex in which individuals are encouraged to be a brand.

F

olks, it’s safe (and fairly obvious) to say that the days of Bebo are well and truly gone. The days where you could set out to make a Bebo profile, filled with cutesy photos and an air of self-interest, where your only concern was who you dished your love out to and what charitable buggers dished it back.

Now, thanks to the likes of Twitter bios and Klout, social media is becoming more than a social space to be amongst friends and like-minded strangers who also ‘can’t even’ – it’s encouraging us to be a brand.

In recent years, I’ve found social media to be a consciously competitive place. My first experience of that was through Twitter. At first, I thought it was a snappier way of ‘being me’, a chance to not be quiteso-superfluous. But sadly, I didn’t get three loves a day, or likes, just a sense of talking to myself and a lack of followers.

So I looked into it to see what I was doing wrong.

“In recent years, I’ve found social media to be a consciously competitive place.”

Sites like Simply Measured and Klout cropped up, who all seemed to know about ‘reaching out to your audience’ and ‘performance levels’. After a bit of research, I set up with Klout to let it work its magic.

Initially, it was pretty darn great. It showed me trending articles, hidden articles, hot-off-the-press articles, all of which might ‘strike a chord’ with my audience. Linking it up to Facebook afterwards allowed me to do the same, and I was posting things at certain times of day, with certain themes, all aiming for that vital chord to be struck.

But after a few weeks of doing so, it made me into an incredibly self-conscious person. If I posted or tweeted something that didn’t get a reaction, it reduced my score, making me feel like a ‘failing brand’. Social media had not only become a pitiful addiction, but a fuel.

That’s the dangerous potential of social media. Of course, it’s great to reach out to people who are as enthusiastic about something as yourself. But this sense of being a ‘brand’ can make you a pessimistic person where social media is used to please not only other people, but yourself – and it’s a harmful pressure that exists so much for teenagers.

Not only that, but the sense of professionalism put on us through comments like, ‘Won’t your employer see that?’ And the need for a mini CV in our Twitter bios constitute to the self-aware-

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ness of what we’re saying. Social media was created to bring people together, but I can’t help but feel that it sets us apart when there’s this apparent need for a USP. My personal experience aside, I’m going to use Klout again as an example. It’s primarily aimed at three categories of people: ‘Specialist’, ‘Entrepreneur’ and ‘Enthusiast’. You and I (if you haven’t already got a fulltime career or made it big o n Dragon’s Den) would be considered an Enthusiast.

The person they u s e as a demonstration is Michelle Riles, a Candy Blogger.

If she were to use Klout, then it would generate articles primarily based on candy blogging; it would suggest other candy bloggers for her to follow; she would eventually be followed by lots of other candy

“Social media had not only become a pitiful addiction, but a fuel.” bloggers, and expect lots of articles and opinions about candy blogging, unless BAM – unfollow.

This happened to me as a Video Gamer, and it really felt like all I could about video games (don’t get me wrong, I love that). ‘And why shouldn’t you? After all, your score goes up, and you get juicy Klout perks for doing so!’

Friends, that’s not what social media was created for. My intention isn’t to demean Twitter or Klout, because I’m sure they’re incredibly useful for marketing companies (and hey, recently, I’m starting to rather enjoy and get the hang of Twitter); but as teenagers, social media is there to be enjoyed with and amongst a variety of people.

For now, I just want to send ludicrous Snaps, retweet funny ‘Friends’ quotes and poke my friends on Facebook to near exhaustion, all without being called a ‘student journo’ or ‘gaming nerd’; I’ll leave the branding until I get a job. Better yet, I’ll leave it to my LinkedIn profile – look there instead of my Twitter bio, employers!

FEATURE

“The job of journalists working in any industry... is to protect the consumer while reporting news with impartiality and respect for their audience.”

COSTAS MOURSELAS comments on the importance of respect and sincereity within the gaming industry

O

n the 16th of August, ex boyfriend of game developer Zoe Quinn published a scathing blog post about her sexual exploits, accusing her of infidelity, hypocrisy and sleeping with five men. Why am I writing an article about it, and more importantly, why should you care? Well, the aforementioned five men, most notably Nathan Grayson of Kotaku and previously RockPaperShotgun, were all closely related to the videogame industry and could supposedly provide her with the publicity and support she needed to publish her game. Needless to say, the drama sparked a social media storm and launched a proverbial witch hunt of video game journalists who failed to stick to basic ethical standards, expected of journalists in other industries. Under the hashtag #gamergate, stakeholders have been expressing their discontent with the incestuous relationship between the press and developers.

A serious concern brought up as a result of these revelations was the way in which gaming journalists used Patreon, a site that allows people to crowd fund creative professionals in their endeavours. Ben Kuchera, a writer at videogame website polygon.com wrote about the alleged harassment of Zoe Quinn, while financially supporting her depression inducing game ‘depression quest’, through Patreon. Self respecting journalists are expected to at least report a conflict of interest to their superiors (if they exist) or disclose it in their related articles. Paying into a project makes you have a vested interest in its success. The job of journalists working in any industry, whether it be gaming and tech, fashion or automobiles is to protect the consumer while reporting news with impartiality and respect for their audience. Failing to do so makes you a blogger, an industry watchdog or just a guy with an opinion but most certainly not a ‘journalist’. Polygon’s own ‘standards’ reveal that their journalists cannot write about individuals or companies in which they have a financial investment and yet this is exactly what ‘journalist’ Ben Kuchera did when writing about a developer while paying her to do her job. This is just one example in a list of many that perfectly demonstrates how unprofessional

and underdeveloped video game journalism is, featuring editors that can’t control their writers and perform basic quality control, failing to meet ethical standards that exist in far smaller industries and far smaller publications than polygon.com.

You could certainly not be blamed for thinking that the healthy skepticism introduced by gamers would hit home with game journos, allowing for some much needed reform in the space. Unfortunately you could not be further from the truth, as several publications have proclaimed ‘gamers are dead’ after the wave of criticism of the past few weeks. Leigh Alexander of Gamasutra writes “‘Games culture’ is a petri dish of people who know so little about how human social interaction and professional life works that they can concoct online ‘wars’ about social justice or ‘game journalism ethics’”. It’s hilariously delusional and hyper defensive articles like this one that disappoint and show the average consumer that sadly game journalism has a long way to go before it is to be considered on par with its equivalents in other entertainment media. In a capitalist consumerbased economy entirely focused on providing enjoyable and memorable video games to fill a void in a market, how can game journalists conceivably come out and say that the people that buy games are socially awkward losers that are not needed to move forward? Since when did journalists become the marketing arm of game developers? In what dimension do the press take it upon themselves to protect producers while demonising consumers?

The gaming dimension apparently. Regardless, if there is something to take home from this whole affair, it is that gaming has become a little too big for its boots a little too quickly.

Gaming is not that quirky geeky thing bloggers talked about on myspace. It is a massive multibillion dollar industry that deserves and commands respect. If gaming journalists cannot rise to the challenge and meet basic journalism ethical standards, the industry will just have to leave them behind.

“In what dimension do the press take it upon themselves to protect producers while demonising consumers?”

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OPINION

“CENSORSHIP IS POINTLESS” Callum Shannon questions the systematic use of censorship in our music industry

T

he sheer regularity of music censorship never ceases to baffle me. Despite the fact that we’re lucky enough to live in one of the world’s few enclaves of liberal democracy where free speech is often taken for granted, music censorship is one form of speech control that remains a part of our everyday lives. And there seems to be little to no consistency on what is actually censored.

Take for example one of the few words in the modern English language that can genuinely arouse shock. A word so controversial and offensive we can’t publish it here.

I am of course referring to the N-word. This word is perhaps the most censored word in the music industry, rendering some songs completely unplayable and useless, but believe it or not, I heard it in a song uncensored on primetime radio this summer.

This was no obscure digital channel either; it was on one of the UK’s most popular radio stations. The offending song was hardly what you’d expect either. It was no hiphop or gansta rap anthem, but Oliver’s Army, a humble little ditty from 1979 by the mostly now forgotten Elvis Costello.

Driving along on my way home from work, I literally couldn’t believe it when I heard the line “All it takes is one itchy trigger, one more widow one less white n****r” played completely uncensored. Especially when we live in an age where station producers feel the need to censor out words such as “Acid” from songs like Filthy/Gorgeous by the Scissor Sisters or even the word “drink” from Pulp’s timeless classic Common People.

Now, I’m certain that if Elvis had been dropping N-bombs every other line like some artists seem inclined to do, his song would have never even been aired (how could it be?) but let’s face it, music censorship in our country is far from consistent. Take Wheatus’ 90s youth anthem ‘Teenage Dirtbag’ for example. On the standard radio edit of that song, only one word is usually censored out, and it’s “gun”. When you consider

Black Chalk: A Review...

6

the amount of exposure firearms get in the general media and the fact that this song also contains the words “ass” and “dick”, this censorship can’t help but seem a bit unnecessary.

So, after our brief look at the erratic and confusing world of music censorship in modern Britain, it’s clear that the broadcasting industry has left a few questions that need answering. Perhaps the first thing we should consider is exactly why in the 21st century we still censor our most popular form of art. The obvious answer is to prevent the public from being offended or to perhaps make sure children don’t hear unsuitable material, to protect innocence in other words. But this still doesn’t explain why the practice is so inconsistent.

The last song in the music charts completely banned by the BBC was ‘Ding Dong!

The Witch Is Dead’ in 2013 which rose to number two in the UK singles charts after a failed campaign to get it to number one following the death of Baroness Margaret Thatcher; but this song is only offensive in a certain context. The BBC saw it fit to keep airing Robin Thicke’s highly controversial ‘Blurred Lines’ despite many Student Unions banning the song and many people finding it offensive.

If we look at songs that were completely banned from air, we can observe a similar pattern: context of songs, rather than raw content, seems to be the main reason why songs get banned from air. We saw a similar situation in 2001, when bizarrely the BBC took the decision to ban ‘Walk Like An Egyptian’ after 9/11. In the same way, Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s signature single ‘Relax’ saw a ban by the BBC in the late 80s due to what was at the time viewed to be explicit sexual content (they repeat the word “come” a few times) but far racier songs pass through unmolested today.

Maddi Howell reviews this dark and twisted tale of manipulation and deceipt.

Over the summer holidays, York Vision received a mysteriously titled debut novel from a former newspaper puzzle editor, courtesy of Vintage books at Random House. Christopher Yates’s Black Chalk narrates the progression of a game of forfeits undertaken by six unsuspecting freshers at Oxford University, a game which is fated to torment and destroy its participants. The book has been compared to Donna Tartt’s The Secret History in numerous reviews.

Enter the disturbing psyches of six students, a clique who bitterly count themselves as the bottom of the social heap amongst the elite of Oxford: an orphan, a pig farmer’s son, a Physics protégée, a miner’s daughter, a joker and, perhaps most disturbingly of all, a boy who hides his obsessive compulsive disorder and reliance on mnemonics behind cool, approachable charisma – all cursed with a debilitating desire to win.

Small chips off the shoulder swiftly turn poisonous as they are pitted against each other and become the puppets of the mysterious ‘Game Soc’ they encounter at

Fresher’s Fair. Financial rewards matter little besides the dark psychological stakes engineered by this unfathomable old boy’s club. The Game is certainly not so jolly as the Bullingdon Club or the champagne and coke parties favoured by the less imaginative secret societies Yates alludes to – Game Soc offers either the ultimate power trip or ultimate ruin.

Yates also skilfully manipulates you, the reader, from the very start, concealing the identity of the narrator at first, and throwing you into constant doubt as to whether the entries which comprise the story are written by the same person, or whether others have infiltrated the account of the game as presented. Who is the ultimate game maker? You might never know.

Read for a vision of a dark underbelly in one of Britain’s most famed universities – a must for any fresher, student, or postgrad at any university. Choose your friends carefully, and pick out your extracurricular activities wisely...

FEATURE

BECHDEL TEST HOW THE FILM INDUSTRY IS SIDELINING WOMEN

1. Is there more than one named fem ale charact er?

2. Do the f emale char acters have a con versation a t any point?

3. Is that c onversatio n about something other than a man?

T

he Bechdel Test is a tool to assess the presence of women in films. It was created in 1985 and can be used for any fictional work (books, TV series, plays, etc.). The Bechdel Test is very much an exercise in critical thinking. It encourages the viewer to challenge the choices that have been made in the film-making process, especially around questions of gender representation. To pass the test, a film has to answer yes to three very simple questions.

This seems pretty straightforward and easy. Yet, the majority of films today do not pass the test. Give yourself a few seconds and try to come up with three films that would pass the test… Not that easy, right? The fact that such few films pass the test is intriguing, especially in Western societies, where women’s rights and feminist movements have had great impacts within the last decades. Clearly, the test teaches us a few lessons about the society in which we live.

According to Vox.com, half of the 2014’s films do not pass the test. A quick research of the best films of 2014 so far (Moviefone, CinemaBlend, The Guardian, IMDb) and we can see that out of the top five films that are the most frequently cited (The Lego Movie, Under The Skin, Guardians Of The Galaxy, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Captain America) only two pass the test: The Lego Movie and Guardians Of The Galaxy.

“The Bechdel Test is very much an exercise in critical thinking.”

Many films simply fail the test because there is only one female character, even if the woman is one of the main characters. Other films fail because they tend to only feature women with minor roles. The plot usually doesn’t require them to interact because they are only relevant in terms of their relation to men. Then, the signif-

icant number of films failing at the third phase of the test is reflective of how the film industry is willing to portray women: as sexualised or hyper-romantic beings whose only purpose is to have sex or find love.

The Bechdel Test is important for many different reasons. Mainly, women represent half of the world population, so it seems reasonable for them to represent fifty percent of the roles in the film industry. Clearly, this lack of representation of women in films has an impact on women viewers. It means that women spend their time watching films about men or about women whose only goal in life is to talk about men. This not only perpetuates stereotypes about women but it also provides very few female role models for boys and girls and gives a false perception of what women’s lives are, as there is certainly

“Clearly, the test teaches us a few lessons about the society in which we live.” a lot more to a woman’s life than men and her love or sex life.

Now, I would argue that the Bechdel Test is a beginner’s guide to gender equality in films. Going beyond the Bechdel Test would mean setting higher standards of assessment, such as having as many female characters as there are male characters, or women having thoughtprovoking conversations rather than conversations about pedicures or shopping (don’t get me wrong, it is fine for women to talk about pedicures or shopping, as long as these are not the only things they talk about!). Another aspect that would enhance women’s presence on screen would be the representation of women of colour, nonstraight, trans and queer women, disabled women, nonconventionally good looking women and possibly more female heroines who aren’t only surrounded by men.

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FASHION

g a B e h T Ark, £19.99

ASOS, £34

H&M, £29.99

Mango, £40

H&M, £49.99

t e k c a J The

A/ MU HAV

H&M, £24.99 H&M, £24.99

Topshop, £48

e o h S e h T

ASOS, £22 River Island, £20 ASOS, £12

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H&M, £14.99

Zara, £39.99 River Island, £35

Burton, £25

River Island, £30

ASOS, £20

/W UST VES Zara, £45.99 Zara, £29.99

River Island, £35 ASOS, £40

H&M, £39.99

ASOS, £40 Zara, £49.99

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FOOD & DRINK

Home Cocktail Bar

The problem with being a student in York is that you can get used to living the highlife with great cocktail bars such as Evil Eye, Dusk, and Missoula just a stone’s throw away. Having these places on your doorstep means that you soon begin to feel it where it hurts most – your wallet! Here’s how you can maintain your snazzy lifestyle at home for a far more reasonable price!

Penniless Colada Ingredients: Malibu Pineapple Juice

this cheaper on the pina colada, A poor man’s twist th fewer ingret as a good, even wi alternative tastes jus coconut-y taste, dy has the essential dients. Malibu alrea tential Willowpoint in wasting po so there’s really no mponents! If necessary cocktail co shots-money on un pop a few mararous, you can even you’re feeling gene ok like you’ve e glass to make it lo schino cherries in th ver. fort. Or not. Whate actually made an ef

Milky Kid

Ingredients: Baileys Milk

Tried the ‘Milky Ba r Kid’ in Dusk? It’ s a famous concoc tion and a fundam ental part of stud ent life for many.

You can easily re create this at hom e using low-cost ingredients, the on ly difference bein g a lack of Kahlua (feel free to add this if you really w an t to push the boat out). If you can ge t your hands on a cheaper alternative to Baileys, go for it. To prepare, pour a generous amount of Baileys over ice, add the m ilk and stir. Dust with chocolate po wder for a true Du sk effect.

Salty Dog

Ingredients: Gin Grapefruit Juice enus in the UK, Salt found on cocktail m om ld se is e on is Th ing, a little goes e US. In cocktail mak th in lar pu po is t bu grapefruit juice bination of gin and m co e Th y. wa ng lo a flavour. The ents to create a big di re ing p ea ch s ke ta of the grapefruit and the bitterness n gi e th of y nc te po rth more than tasting cocktail wo g on str a e at cre ll wi e combination . To make this simpl rts pa its of m su e th e rim of a hi-ball tle flair by salting th lit a d ad t, ou nd sta

16

Craft Beer: York’s best kept secret

Craft beer has taken the UK by storm, and this is now starting to be reflected by a selection of pubs and shops in York. It’s definitely still possible to get a bad pint in York, but more and more places are expanding their range to include the best of what’s being produced in the UK. There are also a huge variety of American beers making their way into UK shops and bars, many of very high quality. Belgian beers have been highly regarded by connoisseurs for years, but are so often badly represented by bars stocking nothing more than Palm or Duvel. While these beers are certainly a step up from what’s widely available in the UK, they don’t expose you to the very top end of Belgian brewing.

To drink good wine you have to spend a reasonable amount of money.

Long gone are the days when something truly decent can be bought for less than a fiver. Around the £8 mark, wine begins to improve noticeably on quality, but you are still unlikely to find anything exceptional. Beers of the highest quality can be bought for less than £3 for a 300ml bottle, while outstanding wine size bottles rarely come to more than £20. Good beer is excellent value,

and available at a few brilliant retailers in York.

House Of Trembling Madness has an extremely well-stocked shop and knowledgeable staff. The selection of Belgian beers is possibly the best in town. I recommend a Trappistes Rochefort 10: a dark brown beer with a beautiful sweetness. At 11.3%, its alcohol is surprisingly smooth, with brown sugar and malty flavours. Truly a world class beer.

An exceptional English brewery, Bristol Beer Factory has a wide range of modern beers. Independence is an American style, hoppy and light pale ale, often selling out within two hours when it comes on cask at my local pub. Many quality beers are now available in cans, particularly American craft brews. Founders’ All Day IPA is a beer with pronounced fruitiness. The hops lend a strong lychee character to the beer, which is very refreshing.

House Of Trembling Madness can be found at 48 Stonegate. They also have a very reasonable corkage charge for bottles bought on the premises.

Jim Dee

17

ENTERTAINMENT

Most Bingewatched TV Shows Tom Davies chats about the most watched TV programmes in the student sphere.

Live Television is soooo noughties, which is pretty convenient really, because if you’ve just turned up at this plate glass, Russell Group satellite colony we call the University of York, you won’t be getting to watch all that much of it over the next year.

The way of our people is now that of binge TV. You start watching a show on your laptop and drop off from temporal reality for 16 hours at a time. This is the student way, and since I’ve recently self-appointed myself a paper-wide expert on this subject, here are my top five shows (on Netflix, because of course I would never want to suggest anything less than 100% legal) to miss your lectures over.

1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

A culturally totemic colossus of TV, all seven seasons of Buffy are available now on Netflix.

What can I say about Buffy? What can’t I say? Certainly the show I’d most recommend getting emotionally invested in if you want to fail the academic year.

2. BoJack Horseman

Probably my favourite new show of the year. It may only have one season thus far to its name, but the Netflix originals series BoJack Horseman is a definite watch for any selfrespecting TV binge watcher. You’ll thank me for it, but don’t sue me if you hate it.

3. House of Cards

US port of the seminal British political drama and original Netflix original. House of Cards was the first show made to cater to Neflix’s format and audience, and as such is a twistyturny marathon of TV goodness. Plus: Kevin Spacey.

4. Archer

Fx’s Arches is in many ways considered a kind of animated Arrested Development – both are wickedly, devilishly funny. Be warned though, because if anything Archer’s edge is if anything just that teensy bit sharper, and definitely not for the faint-hearted.

5. Arrested Development

Sharp as a freshly honed wakizashi, Arrested Development was a geyser of irreverence and vaguely surrealist humour with a sublime cast, most of whom have gone on to very bright things indeed (including a few of the shows on this list). A must watch.

Pretentious Reads

Eliza Gkritsi selects a list of classic novels sure to impress your not-so-cool friends

The Trial, Franz Kafka He’s Czech, he’s tortured and his name maintains a combination of letters that indicate just how sophisticated he is.

Reading The Trial you will find yourself playing CSI between the lines trying to figure out what the protagonist did to be in trial and basically 90% of the information that should be contained in the book.

18

The First Forty Nine Stories, Ernest Hemmingway

This collection of short stories will have you marvelling at the variety in Hemingway’s writing.

From the fast paced Hills Like White Elephants to the incredibly slow and painfully underwhelming Short Happy Life Of Francis Macomber, there is a story for everyone in here. Who hasn’t dreamt of saying “Oh I just picked up Hemingway for fun” and meaning it?

Catch 22, Joseph Heller Considered one of the funniest books of all time, this book has it all. War, odyssey, human suffering, fragmented narration, multiple points of view and – most helpful of all to a hipster – a logical paradox. Heller’s satirical genius gave me real, audible LOLs.

In Cold Blood, Truman Capote This book isn’t for the faint-hearted.

It contains lots of blood and graphic peeks inside a serial killer’s mind.

Its investigative style and sincere yet life-like descriptions render this novel a real page turner. Not to mention, you can always praise its genius and express your frustration with the 1966 Pulitzer committee for not awarding Capote.

Breakfast of Champions, Kurt Vonnegut

A quick read about the effect of novels on people. Filled with bizarre characters and satire, it is nothing less than quintessential Vonnegut. Of course, the plot is minimal to the point of non-existent.

But that’s exactly what makes it impressive to the noobs; you need to find the devil in the details.

Girlfriend of a gamer

M

any people have hobbies or special interests, and my boyfriend happens to be a gamer. I know what you’re thinking – I’m going to bang on about the old stereotype where the attention-starved girlfriend looks on hopelessly as her guy mercilessly kills more zombies... or Nazis… or Nazi zombies.

Well, yes. But, unlike many others, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I was a sheltered child who preferred reading to other, more gory, pastimes. The closest I ever came to playing a video game was a peak over my sister’s shoulder as she hopped along as Mario on her Gameboy Advance.

So, when we were in the initial texting stage of our relationship, my rather creative boyfriend would tell me he was “just dipping into Plato’s Republic – it’s some enlightening stuff!” when I had no idea that, in reality, he was into his fourth consecutive hour of Black Flag.

Fast forward a couple of months later when we both moved to York and slowly but inevitably started living together. Suddenly, my ears were filled with jargon like “Steam sales”, “first-person shooter” and “DLC” – I was completely lost. Instead of the those cosy, cuddly evenings I’d imagined, drinking hot chocolate and snuggling up by the fire (okay, perhaps I’m being a little bit farfetched – radiator), I was desperately breathing through

a blocked nose and suffering from the flu, trying to block out the screeching and explosions played at full volume from Need for Speed. Not the most romantic of situations.

Well, when the ever-growing tension finally built up into an argument, he put forward the point that his gaming was just the same as me reading my books (not quite correct, as I am a literature student, so reading is kind of my day job, but I let that one slide). So I asked how on earth mindless, noisy violence could have the same effect as works of literature treasured for evoking new thoughts and empathy and understanding of others? He looked at me, smiled and said – BioShock.

I wasn’t convinced; but I dutifully started playing, taking about 20 minutes to learn the controls and get to that sodding lighthouse right at the beginning of the game. Then, as I approached a Big Daddy and quietly muttered ‘sorry’ under my breath before raining bullets into him, I felt all the pent-up annoyance ebb away. I can’t lie, shooting people feels good – really good. But I still didn’t think that it could be classed as ‘on par with’ A-level Literature – then comes the story.

“I was a sheltered child who preferred reading to other, more gory, pastimes”

After completing it with him, I took back everything I ever said about video games not making you think – it mangled my brain for weeks!

So, by the summer term, I was actually taking an interest in what my boyfriend termed his ‘morning newspaper’ – a daily half an hour spent trawling through IGN and Polygon, and was able to have meaningful conversations with him about whether the processor on his laptop would be able to play games this side of 2004 without diminishing the graphics.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a hardened gamer by any stretch of the imagination, and I still look blankly at his excitement about the new Wolfenstein (do Nazi games never get old?). But on the whole, I have to agree that gaming can, in its own way, do so much more than literature with its interactive element.

Which is now why one of my favourite things to do on a night is watch my boyfriend play The Walking Dead while I chip in as a back seat driver. And although I still disagree with some gaming morals (don’t even get me started on Pokémon) I’m glad that my mind was changed about how gaming is an undervalued art form on a level with film and literature. Now for my revenge – to make him give Ulysses a try!

“...raining bullets into him, I felt all the pent-up annoyance ebb away. I can’t lie, shooting people feels good – really

19

Vısıon YORK

BLIND DATE THIS WEEK we set up third year English Literature student and satirist, Emily Mangles, with our bashful first year Features Editor, Philip Adams. Did this date at the romantic setting of The Charles spark a love which will last all summer? Will Philip no longer be on the pull at Vision socials? Read on to find out about this meeting of two great minds...

Anthony on Izzi

Izzi on Anthony

Are you looking for anything serious?

Are you looking for anything serious?

No, not at all!

No not really, I’m quite happy being single at the moment, but I suppose if I met the right person!

What was the first thing you noticed?

What was the first thing you noticed?

I thought for a second that she was someone I knew already, and so I was worried I would have compromised the integrity of the ‘blind’ aspect of the date. But it turned out that I didn’t already know her. So, er, yeah it was fine.

He was really friendly and got up to greet me which made me feel much more at ease.

What did you talk about?

What did you talk about?

A lot about our courses... we talked a lot about alcohol too.

What did you have to eat?

We talked a lot about all sorts of things, mostly Uni and our courses, colleges and flatmates.

What did you have to eat?

Nice pizza, very cold profiteroles.

I had a chicken Caesar salad, it was great!

Most desirable characteristic or feature?

Most desirable characteristic or feature?

Her smile.

He was really chatty and always made the conversation interesting, so there were no awkward silences. I like a guy who can keep a date interesting.

How did the date end?

How did the date end?

We walked back from town, and then ended with a “see you around”.

Marks out of 10?

7 Vision thanks the cupids at Ask Italian, who sponsored this Blind Date

With a hug.

Marks out of 10?

8

OPINION

Tuesday September 30, 2014

DEBATE

Vısıon 19 YORK

APTITUDE TESTS: FRIEND OR FOE TO FAIR ADMISSIONS? BETHANY HANNAH WRIGHT

VS

MARKELLA APERGI BHW:

The evermore competitive world of university admissions has deemed it necessary to introduce another barrier to the system, to filter the so-called brightest and best in society; the aptitude and skills tests. The question is, can 50 or so multiple choice questions and an essay judge your merit?

MA: In the past, it was mostly pro-

spective Oxbridge students that had to tackle the aptitude tests. Today, this is not the case. More and more universities have started using the aptitude tests as a tool to distinguish the best of the best by adding another barrier to entry into university. But are they really a barrier? No, aptitude tests are not another pain in the ass during the admission process, they are absolutely necessary. They promote meritocracy in universities. Aptitude tests should be viewed as the friend of the students and not as their foe. They should be viewed as their chance to shine amongst the many aspiring ‘stars’.

BHW:

These tests may measure academic excellence, but there are many more important things they leave out. For example, medicinal courses are the most demanding in terms of aptitude tests, both the UKCAT and the BMAT being necessary. But becoming a doctor does

not just depend on your academic ability.

Of course, this is important, but these tests can’t measure bedside manner or highlight a caring nature. The traits that will make you a good doctor cannot be tested, they must be seen.

MA: The final exams exist to quantify

your knowledge, interviews exist to assess your personality, and aptitude tests exist to measure specific types of skills. These include verbal, quantitative and abstract reasoning, and those skills can be measured. The process is similar to an IQ test, and IQ tests are widely accepted. The crucial difference between aptitude tests and anything else is the absence of the human factor. Examiners and teachers are people.

“Aptitude tests exist to measure specific types of your skills” People sometimes are influenced by emotions or prejudices, therefore (as some of us know all too well) they cannot always be objective. Bad examiners and bad teachers do exist and will sometimes misjudge students. Aptitude tests come to fix this injustice.

BHW:

The fact still remains, though, that this is one more test. Many parents and teachers are concerned that students now are just taught how to pass exams, rather than increasing their own knowledge. According to Mike Nicholson, 90% of applicants sit some sort of admissions test. At university you are supposed to learn how to think independently and broaden your mind. Not only do these tests fail in measuring your ability to do those things, but they pose a threat to their

prominence amongst university students.

The more exams become the leading factor in admissions, the more we will see freshers who are not able to cope with independent learning.

MA:

Furthermore, even if the fact that everyone is objective holds as true, there is still an unfairness when the comparison between the students depends solely on their grades. A grade alone does not mean anything. There are differences in the subjects, the marking criteria, the grade boundaries, the final test as such. It is hard to compare the incomparable, especially for a university that receives applications from all over the world. The aptitude tests make comparison between the applicants easier, since they are the same for everyone. It is the fairest card universities hold during the ‘application game’.

BHW:

Does a strict cut of line in a test not potentially mean forgetting about those students who might propel even further with a little bit more support, if they had not had that previously? Many future university students can afford tutors to get them through these barriers of securing a place, but most don’t have the means for this luxury. The unlevelled playing field, therefore, means universities can’t truly judge who would excel most in their studies. Meritocracy is therefore harder to create. In other words, the distortions of tutoring in the otherwise fair playing field still exist and, if anything, are made bigger. This happens exactly because these tests are one more criterion that can be exploited through “dubious” means.

MA:

And yet, if you take another viewpoint, you see that aptitude tests prevent exactly that. Some people are simply not studious, but are in other ways very talented and skilful. In some subjects,

skills are essential. You can’t be a lawyer if you don’t have good verbal reasoning skills and you can’t be a doctor if you don’t have abstract reasoning skills. One could argue that practice can lead to an outstanding performance. This is true, but up to a point. If the questions of such tests are revised and changed after a specific amount of time, then the results are more objective and useful in selecting

“These tests fail to account for people’s will and dedication” and securing the acceptance of only ‘the brightest of the stars’. Testing for skills and not knowledge ensures that those who truly have what it takes to succeed in a given course will have an opportunity to demonstrate their potential beyond academic achievement, in a way that shows directly what kind of mind they have.

markellaapergi@gmail.com

BHW:

High flying sixth formers or college students might even be put off by the idea of an aptitude exam. Reluctant to jump through even more hoops to get a place at their intended place of higher education. These universities will then be missing out on these students, who might be very successful on their course. This is but another indicator of what aptitude tests fail to account for; people’s will and dedication.

@06beth

20 Vısıon YORK

OPINION

Tuesday September 30, 2014

ELIZA GKRITSI:

I

MONEY CANNOT BUY RESPECT

n what looks like a teenager’s tantrum, the world’s biggest emerging economies have decided to create their own currency reserve fund. Brazil, Russia, India, China and South Africa (aka the BRICS) feel that they’ve been precluded from the governing of the global economy.

Their response is to set up a new development bank with a startup capital of $100 billion, for which all members will contribute equally.

It is true that the BRICS have been denied their fair say in global economic institutions, such as the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund. Developed countries have acknowledged this for years. Sadly, yet unsurprisingly, they’ve done little to amend it. Taking this into account, it is easy to understand the motivation behind the BRICS’s fund. They will accumulate 2% of their joint reserves in a fund to be accessed when balanceof-payments problems arise.

This way, they will create a safety net similar to what the World

Bank/IMF provide for countries when in need. The difference is, supposedly, the political strings attached that go along with help from said organisations won’t be there.

Of course, in reality, this will not be the case. These five countries have massively varied, and sometimes conflicting, interests. The also have close to nothing in common.

For example, China and India. China will contribute a disproportionately large amount of funds. Some say close to $41

“When it comes to economic interests, countries act like children.” billion. It also recently proclaimed, that its border disputes with India are part of its “core national interests”.

You may think that this feels like a recipe for disaster. You’d never ask two children who are fighting to put their toys in the same box and share whenever they

want to play. Not to be mean, or condescending, but when it comes to transnational economic interests, most countries act like children; they become selfish and, more often than not, careless.

What is more, this is not the only way for them to get what they deserve in terms of power in economic government.

In the past, their lack of a common goal and persistence on their individual national interests has made them look weak and scattered. In 2011 they failed to agree on a candidate for the IMF director position. A year later, the exact same thing happened with the World Bank. Had they been more united in their decision, they could have orchestrated the appointment of someone sympathetic to them.

Not that it is easy to find a European economist to lead the IMF who will be sympathetic to Russia, but allow me some imagination for argument’s sake.

What I’m trying to say is that the existing structure of international economics could be manipulated to their favour. The BRICS should be throwing their weight around in it, instead of starting to pull out.

Creating another bank is not only unnecessary, but counterproductive. It will take time, effort and a great deal of monetary capital that needn’t be wasted.

CAMPUS CALLING

HELLO THERE, FRESHER...

D

ear Fresher, welcome to the University of York. The world-famous home of the likes of Heslington Hall and the James Bridge (depending on your definition of world). The safe haven for all disenfranchised ducks around the globe, and their poo.

The medieval capital of England, and current capital of all culture in all of the world (for realz).

The city that gave birth and raised the miraculous miracle of Willow; a restaurant transformed to a Mecca for the serial clubbers’ community.

If you think I’m lying, or exaggerating; you’re in for the ride of your life. That ride being the York Eye. Rumour has it, London is considering scrapping its own Eye, as a show of obedience and recognition of our superiority where futuristic ferris wheels are concerned. And we all know, rumours are always, always true.

All jokes aside, York is not the little town it looks like. If you feel like exploring, you may find yourself amongst medieval ruins,

or hidden picturesque spice shops. Or you may even happen onto an amazing DJ event, if you dare stray away from YUSU nights.

What no one tells you, is that this is the time to get lost. The time to end up on the Millennium Bridge at 5am with your friends for no other reason apart from “Why not?” The time to go on a random train trip with nothing else but your phone and 10 quid.

Because, dear Fresher, this is the time when you’re free. You have no parents looking over your shoulder, or friends who judge you based on what you were like four years ago.

If you were ever thinking of making a new start, of reinventing yourself, this is the time.

You can start living up to your own expectations of who you want to be. This is what university is about; acquiring the strength of character it takes not to make excuses for your choices or desires.

If you feel like being yourself, or making up your mind on who that person is, allow it.

Not to mention that it doesn’t really solve their problem. What they need is to get the respect they deserve when facing developed countries, such as the bullying clique of major European countries and the US. Creating a framework that doesn’t involve them doesn’t help with them. It can only lead to further isolation. They are, after all, taking their money and putting it in their own bank.

This sends a very clear message; if you won’t play with us, we won’t play with you.

All in all, this is a rash and miscalculated idea. It fails to address an admittedly very serious problem. It may just end up blowing up in their faces in the near future. The BRICS should be looking for ways to prove their prowess in the battle that is already going on, not move their cavalry somewhere else to show off and leave the rest of the army to defeat.

@egreechee Bottom Line: As right as they are in their grievances, the BRICS’s bank is not an effective solution to their problems

The Opinion Editor comments on all things campus

ON DARK PATHS AND DOING MATHS

I

t’s four in the morning and you’ve just left Willow, or Revs, or Kuda, or whatever loud-music establishment you decided to honor on this particular night.

You are a bit tipsy, and tired, and your feet hurt from all the dancing, and it’s freezing. Because it’s always freezing in York.

You do not take a second to think of which route you will take to get home. All you care is that it’s the fastest possible. And so 10 minutes later you find yourself in a dark alley, that seemed very friendly in the morning. Except now it’s not friendly, it’s scary.

You walk as fast as you can, turning over your shoulder every now and then, afraid of the serial killer you are convinced is following you.

The next day, you wake up in the warmth of your bed, safe and sound, feeling blessed that you survived the experience.

We’ve all been there, and we’ve all regretted it. And we will all do it again in the face of the Odyssey that walking home after night out is. Usually, nothing goes wrong, York is a fairly safe city, after all.

But sometimes something does happen, and you find out about it from this very paper. When this happens, you are

relieved that it didn’t happen to you.

When walking home, you must do the maths. Think of the risks involved in walking past said frightening alley and weigh them against the benefit of getting home safe.

If you think the risks are miniscule, then go ahead, walk through Mordor if you wish. It is, at the end of the day, your choice.

Whatever you decide, know that it is your responsibility to keep yourself safe, nobody else’s. As adults, it is assumed that we take care of ourselves, as we should be doing.

It is not up to the university, neither to clean up the streets from crime, nor to assign us escorts. If you are not well informed of the risks, I’d suggest you get a taxi. Or stay home.

OPINION

Tuesday September 30, 2014

CALLUM SHANNON: TO SAVE THE KINGDOM, WE MUST DISBAND IT

W

ell, it’s all over.

The question of Scottish independence is settled, for now at least. With a slender majority, Scots opted to stay in the United Kingdom (thanks guys!). However, whilst talk of independence may be on hold for now, another, older concern has once again reared its head: devolution.

Following Scotland’s decision to stay in the United Kingdom, all three of the major political parties have come out in support of devolving further powers to the Scottish Parliament, but this raises further issues: if Holyrood is to be given greater power over governing Scotland, what is to happen to the UK’s central Parliament in Westminster?

This age old (well, 40 year old) question has been posed pretty much every time we devolve powers to anyone anywhere, but Scotland is our most pressing example, so we creatively name it the West Lothian Question. And the answer the government has decided upon saddens me deeply.

The conservative government has

“The government concluded in disallowing Scottish MPs from voting in certain votes” somehow come to the conclusion that the best way to prevent Scottish MPs from deciding on English law is to simply ban them from voting in certain votes.

On the face of it, it seems like a fairly pragmatic and strong idea, but it unravels pretty easily.

If this proposal was enacted, Westminster would be made up of two kinds of MPs: English MPs who would be able to vote on English law and UK law

and Welsh, Scottish and Northern Irish MPs who would only be able to vote on the latter. Essentially, there’ll be two

“Two tiers of MPs in Parliament; this opens up several cans of worms” tiers of MPs in our central government and this opens up several cans of worms.

Will we pay both groups the same? Will they be entitled to the same level of expenses? It simply just won’t work.

Luckily there are other solutions to the West Lothian question.

One solution favoured by UKIP and the English Democrats is to create a new English Parliament.

Whilst I’m deeply embarrassed and concerned for agreeing with Nigel Farage, they’re sort of on the right track.

Federalising the United Kingdom may be the best way to save it from itself. Devolution has been a success in Scotland, London, Northern Ireland and, to some extent, Wales, but creating an English Parliament is not the best idea (but hey, none of Mr. Farage’s ideas are) as too much of the population lives in England.

Such a body would be far too powerful and not too dissimilar from the Westminster Parliament in composition. There must be another solution.

And, of course, there is. Regional Assemblies could solve the West Lothian Question without making any region too powerful. My investigation of the devolution Yorkshire movement dismissed it on the grounds that I didn’t think people wanted it, but things have changed. The time to devolve is now. We must do it to save the nation from certain collapse.

@callum_shannon Bottom Line: It sounds dangerous, but the safest solution for the future of the UK is its devolution in a Federation

Vısıon 21 YORK

MICHAEL COOPER:

BREAKING IT DOWN FOR YOU:

CLIMATE SCEPTICISM

O

n Sunday the 21st of September the world witnessed one of the largest mass demonstrations ever. The march against climate change took place in many cities around the world. Most notably, in New York, the crowds reached over three hundred thousand people.

Now, we all know that climate change will not be solved as a global crisis overnight. But the marches certainly prove that there is support from the general public to try and solve it. As always in this debate, there is a dark undercurrent hindering progress – climate scepticism.

One can, of course, understand the appeal of scepticism. No one wants climate change to be real and if we just pretend that it doesn’t exist or that we can’t do anything about it, then we can certainly feel better about how obviously little is be-

“The excuses of fear and ignorance cannot hold” ing done. And yet, the excuses of fear and ignorance cannot hold for all sceptics, many of whom are clearly well informed people.

It is obvious why a scientist working for a fossil fuel company would be sceptical – in a way they are paid to be so. The question is, why are there so many journalists and commentators with apparently nothing to gain from being biased and who clearly do not give the evidence for human-caused climate change a fair hearing?

Now some may accuse me of not giving the arguments against anthropogenic global warming, but in a way these are not arguments. The fact that climate change is not 100% proven is not evidence that it is not correct; that is just the nature of the scientific method, in which nothing can be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt.

The important thing to note is that less than 1% of peer reviewed climate science research papers show evidence against climate change. Often when sceptics are presented with this statistic, however,

they usually accuse the scientific community of having a ‘hive mind’ or being ‘ideological’.

Could it be, however, that it is actually sceptics that are the most ideological? If there is any issue in the world that requires international co-operation between governments, it is climate change.

It cannot be by chance that so many climate sceptics with no obvious vested interest seem to be those who also wish the world more nationalistic; they do not like the EU or the UN. They want to go back to a golden age of the sovereign state, in which international aims did not hinder the economic progress of individual countries. They seem to see all green activists as ‘watermelons’ who use climate change as a front to destroy capitalism and ergo enforce socialism on the world.

But if capitalism is destroying the plan-

“If capitalism is destroyng the planet, surely, it must change,” et surely it must change. This is not being ideological, simply practical.

So the next time you hear a climate sceptic going on, consider if they fit this criteria. It is no surprise to me that the party of the little Englanders is also a party of sceptics. No one wants climate change to be true but we have to face up to it and not give in to those driven by ulterior motives and unhelpful ideologies.

We must act fast to stop the catastrophic consequences of climate change and we cannot let such ridiculous beliefs hamper that process.

@MichaelCooper09

Bottom Line: Climate scepticism has to end; it is harmful and only backed by shaky arguments

YOU’RE IN LUCK. WIN A TERM’S SUPPLY OF LYNX PRODUCTS

Email why you think you should get a term’s worth of Lynx supplies to: vision@yusu.org

FEATURES

Tuesday September 30, 2014

FEATURES

Vısıon 23 YORK

www.yorkvision.co.uk/features features@yorkvision.co.uk

A VISION A TO Z OF YORK GEORGE DABBY and PHILIP ADAMS provide you with a York glossary to get you through the start of the year

N

A

lcuin college. Home to York’s brightest scientists, this place is a hub for white-coated boffins shedding the specs and cutting loose after a hard day at the labs #jinkies.

B

orthwick Institute. Likened to Pyongyang’s Hotel of Doom, no one really knows what it institutes but it has a damn good bridge.

isa. Not the wisest choice for a weekly food shop.

Plus they still refuse to accept no-one will ever buy packs of single shot apple sourz. Stay away from their veg, insect pupae are to be found.

G

oodricke College. Home of the well-to-do, and fondly referred to as the Mecca of the (Heslington) East.

H

eslington East. York’s latest acquisition to the empire, this swampy marsh houses three colleges: Goodricke and Langwith, and now Constantine.

You’ll be more likely to visit the York Centre for Medieval and Renaissance Music than Hes East.

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zone layer. Close your fridges.

hat Fridays. If you enjoy old ‘skool’ Hip Hop and the sensation of hyperventilation, then this is the place for you. Also good for the queue connoisseur.

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ourtyard. York University’s only Michelin star restaurant. Sink into a booth and a ‘full works’ burger.

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erwent College. As racuous as downtown Bogota, as clean as Naples midstrike. Venture in at your own risk. Be wary of asbestos/chlamydia or just having a good time.

rrelevant. Life, this article.

It may also stand for Immunoglobulin, which is found in tears and saliva. Two fluids that were in abundance over the course of our first year.

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uda. Explore this cesspit club of sweat more cramped than a people smuggler’s ferry. Listening to 50 Cent in the groundfloor van is a highlight. #indavan

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ocals. Amicable by day, neanderthal by night, you must never look one straight in the eye past midnight.

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inster. Making up for something, God?

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ision. The most awarded student newspaper in the country.

uack. Fucking ducks or ‘les mallards, ils sont malades’ just don’t mess with the geese

umpy pumpy, hanky panky, bumping uglies, horizontal refreshment or plain s-e-x. Stictly forbidden in Langwith and Alcuin.

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ron. Selected by Vision as the number one man you need to know on campus.

Our disabled students officer and by all accounts a character.

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amiroquai. Unavailable for Live ‘n’ Loud but has previously recorded with York’s own saxophone legend Jim Corry.

The live music scene is alive in York, go out and find it.

gos. You will find these smattered across campus.

Some broken, some nurtured. Natural habitat – student media.

orty Four. Your bus for the year, it will be the enabler to all your wildest hopes and dreams i.e. ‘Town’. Just how many can you fit on that back seat?

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alvo. Do you like shit music and horrible people? A great night for the whole family. Bring your snapbacks and prepare to experience death by skanking.

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rinary tract infection, what you get when you fall into the lake whilst relieving yourself. #baller.

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entworth. What do those postgrads get up to? Well, judging by the tumbleweed dispenser that is The Edge, not much.

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partners. Leave them at home. Make new ex-partners.

Y

OOORKSHIRE, YOOORKSHIRE, YOOORKSHIRE!!!

A catchy little ditty belted out by hoards of locals on a Saturday night. Interrupt at your own peril.

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e’ foreign community. Refer to letter ‘H’. York has a vibrant and active community of internationals. The international and Erasmus events are often highlights.

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FEATURES

Tuesday September 30, 2014

INTERVIEW: JOHN HUMPHRYS OSCAR PEARSON talks to television presenter John Humphrys about life as a celeb, and his troubles with faith ohn Humphrys earns as much in a year as Christiano Ronaldo does every

week.

But his salary – said to be £375,000 annually after a £75,000 reduction reflecting ‘straitened’ times at the BBC – was strictly out of bounds of discussion inside the Today Programme studio.

This was, ultimately, a ridiculous interview with commenters afterwards describing the pugnacious broadcaster’s conduct as both ‘arseholery’ and ‘brash’.

Perhaps my questions were a little contentious – Humphrys’ answers, though, were far more vexatious.

We began with religion, as Humphrys had in 2006 presented a series of television episodes in search of faith. Has he ever found God? “Nope. That’s a nice short answer to begin with, isn’t it?”

On George Entwistle, dismantled by Humphrys in a live interview immediately before resigning his position as BBC Director-General, he roared that

“I didn’t really expect to find God, it was my idea for a series of programmes with the leaders of the three Abrahamic faiths – Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. I thought it would make for a diverting conversation.”

for me to ask him whether he felt any guilt “is like saying to a doctor ‘did you kill that patient deliberately?’ It’s that outrageous.”

I queried whether substantial rivalries exist between big name journalists, to which came the sardonic deadpan response: “Is the Pope a Catholic? Does a bear do his business in the wood?”

And in answer to my probe on the most honest person Humphrys has interviewed, he replied: “That’s an impossible question to answer. Honest? I wouldn’t dream of answering a question like that.”

It was an impossible interview which, I wager, neither of us would dream of doing again. But on closer inspection, the veteran Today programme presenter gave us some food for thought.

“I didn’t really expect to find God,” elaborated Humphrys af-

John Humphrys on faith and doubt: “You either have faith or you don’t. I don’t think I ever did – I was brought up in the Christian religion as all working class kids were in those days. But I lost my faith and have never had it since.” ter my opening question.

“It was my idea for a series of programmes with the leaders of the three Abrahamic faiths – Judaism, Christianity, and Islam.

I thought it would make for a diverting conversation. It had the most reaction from the audience of any series of programmes or interviews I’ve ever done – in fact I wrote a book as a result of it.”

Raised as a Christian with prayers every day for most of his childhood, Humphrys began to doubt: “If you talk to God you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia,” he quotes in his book.

“You either have faith or you don’t. I don’t think I ever did – I was brought up in the Christian religion as all working class kids were in those days. But I lost my faith and have never had it since.”

As a cub reporter, Humphrys covered the resignation of Richard Nixon, the execution of Gary Gilmore, and later, when based in South Africa, he detailed the transformation of Rhodesia into Zimbabwe for BBC News.

The Radio 4 journalist is widely acknowledged as the man who sealed the fate of his old boss with a brutal Today programme interview about his handling of a series of crises at the Beeb.

Entwistle, who had been in the post for less than two months, spent essentially his whole tenure trying to deal with the fall-out from the Jimmy Savile child abuse scandal.

But Humphrys denied he feels any sense of guilt after his killer interview aired just hours before Entwistle resigned: “Guilt?” replied a baffled Humphrys. “Goodness no, I asked him questions.

“He was a powerful figure and things were going badly wrong in the BBC. He had serious questions to answer, and I put those questions to him.

“I felt sorry for George – that’s a completely different matter – he was my junior producer many years ago. But I did my best to do with him what I do with anybody I interview.”

“If you talk to God you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.”

“I’ve been in the right places at the right times,” asserted the 71-year old – none more so than his timely grilling of ex-BBC director general George Entwistle: Humphrys’ role in his downfall was undeniably pivotal.

To maintain the integrity of the BBC, the killer blow seemed like it had to come from within the organisation – but Humphrys was having none of that either.

“It wasn’t a killer blow and it didn’t come from within the or-

FEATURES

ganisation.

“Look, it’s a very, very simple process. George had done – or failed to do – a series of things which brought the BBC into disrepute. He acknowledged he wasn’t in touch, he got it wrong and as a result he offered his resignation.”

The organisation has faced heavy criticism from numerous angles over recent years – namely its ever-increasing role of setting the agenda of current affairs and debate. But is one of the roles of the BBC to directly influence public opinion?

Tuesday September 30, 2014

“Of course it is. What doesn’t influence public opinion? JK Rowling does, you do. If people listen to one of my interviews they will take a view from that.

There’s a difference between having influence and operating as a propagandist. We don’t do that.”

Questions, though, are continually asked whether the BBC successfully manages to present accurate stories whilst also maintaining that primary principle of neutrality. Indeed, Sky News’ Adam Boulton, an earlier interviewee of ours when he came to the University to speak for the

York Union, told us that his organisation was, by its very nature, more willing to question publicly-funded institutions like the NHS than the BBC would be.

“Rubbish,” cut in Humphrys as I put those comments to him.

“He would say that, wouldn’t he, because he works for Sky and we are mortal enemies.

“We are infinitely more successful than Sky. We have seven million listeners – people at Sky News would kill their Grannies to get 700,000, let alone seven million!”

In a rare moment of frank,

genuine reflection on his own career, Humphrys brushed aside his time reading the evening news – “it isn’t a proper job anyway.

“But then I was offered to present ‘Today’, and I said ‘yes

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rosive effect upon democracy.

Yet there seems a good argument for suggesting that Humphrys’ tactics are simply a reaction to developments in modern politics which really have had destructive effects upon democ-

“I always suggest to people who want to be journalists – especially those who want to be broadcasters and personalities – don’t do it! The chances of success are miniscule.” please’. This is what I’ve always wanted to do.”

He went on to claim his programme is “the most important programme that the BBC does, without any doubt.

“We do the three things set out all those years ago. We inform, educate and entertain.”

And for aspiring presenters – the Mastermind host has disheartening advice.

“I always suggest to people who want to be journalists – especially those who want to be broadcasters and personalities – don’t do it! The chances of success are miniscule.

“It doesn’t matter how good you are. You just have to be in the right places and offered the right opportunities.”

Widely considered one of Britain’s most authoritative journalists, Humphrys has taken plenty of criticism for his style.

Considered by many as overly aggressive with elected representatives and guilty of holding the polity in a sneering contempt; it is widely held this sort of approach to interviewing has a cor-

racy – the rise of spin-doctoring, PR mentoring and the central office control of politicians – all of which were taken to audacious new heights with the arrival in office of Tony Blair.

But with Paxman now in the sidelines, and Evan Davis bringing his accessible interviewing style to the Newsnight scene, perhaps we are seeing a further journalistic shift which will see Humphrys move on and out. “Are there any plans to change...” – hint hint, retire – “... soon?” I asked.

“My life changes every day and anybody’s whose doesn’t is a deeply boring person.

“I’ll stop doing radio when they tell me to.”

With Humphrys’ answers repeatedly brusque – perhaps justifiably to an extent – I felt the need to give him an opportunity to choose a theme of discussion.

“What question would you like me to ask?” I finished.

“Absolutely none at all,” he said.

@oscarjpearson

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FEATURES

Tuesday September 30, 2014

the 7 most cringe typos CALLUM SHANNON looks at history’s most embarrassing typos...

Typos. We all make them. And they say if you hand a writer a copy of their own work they will instantly spot one. This is exactly what happened to me when I opened the last issue of Vision and turned to my Game of Thrones feature and saw I’d stupidly mispelled ‘Dorne’ as ‘Drone’. Whoops! I do apologise... anyway though, it’s not all bad news. My slip up got me thinking about all those history changing typos there are out there.

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One of the most common sources of typos is rushing your work, so always give yourself extra time when writing important documents like essays, dissertations or national constitutions.

Yep, you read right, national constitutions. The United States Constitution was entirely written in one September weekend and it really shows as it’s plagued with errors.

Granted, the founding fathers probably didn’t realise the document they were writing would become one of the most scrutinised in history, but some of their mistakes are really, really bad. For example, article I’s contraction of “it is”: “No State shall, without the Consent of the Congress, lay any Imposts or Duties on Imports or Exports, except what may be absolutely necessary for executing it’s inspection Laws.”

Even more shocking, the first amendment was not a correction of this! Scandalous! More legally important, however, is a certain mark that appears in the fifth amendment, which nobody seems to be sure whether it is a comma or just a smudge.

If it is indeed a smudge, the US government in essence has no right to seize private property... Sadly, we’ll never know.

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The old maxim goes that typos are beyond the realms of Gods and Men... Or not. But they’re certainty not limited to mortal texts, as the 1631 publication of the King James Bible proved.

Denounced immediately after publication by the Church of England and known ever since as the “Wicked Bible”, the mistake lost the publishers their printing licence and a considerable amount of money. What sin did they commit? When listing the Ten Commandments, the publishers omitted the word “not” from the seventh commandment, changing it to “Thou Shalt Commit Adultery”. Understandably, the Archbishop of Canterbury and Charles I were outraged by the error and the Archbishop suggested returning to hand scribed bibles and organised a mass burning of the Wicked Bibles. However, a few escaped, and if you’re lucky enough to find one in your attic, you could be looking at about £100,000 of paper... sweet Jesus!

If your work is going to be seen by millions of people every day, you’d better make damn sure that you do your job right.

This was a mistake Gregorio Iniguez made in 2010.

Iniguez, the then director of the Chilean mint, gave the green light for a new design of 50 Peso coins with the silhouette of a national hero... and the country’s name spelt wrong. Iniguez had produced 1.5 million of the coins before he noticed that the coins were printed with “CHIIE”... Unsurprisingly his boss wasn’t pleased.

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Typos may be bad, but at least they’re not matters of life and death, right?

Well, not always... In 1985, a typo on a judge’s letter to the jury on a Californian murder case in which a man named Bruce Wayne (although it wasn’t Batman) was accused of murdering a man with a stick.

The Judge’s note to the jury was supposed to say that there would be no bail, but accidentally left the “no” out.

Faced with the choice of letting a murderer free or executing him, the jury unsurprisingly voted to execute him.

It took the Californian supreme court 10 years to overturn the decision, on the grounds that a typo had sentenced a man to death.

5

In 2013, when former Prime Minister Baroness Margaret Thatcher suddenly passed away, the people of Britain felt a strange mixture of emotion: sadness, anger, joy and in the BBC’s case, embarrassment.

Why so? A rather embarrassing typo on their breaking news web bulletin. Rather than correctly printing the coroner’s verdict that the cause of death was a stroke, the BBC posted that she had died following a “strike”. Clearly somebody still had 1984 on their mind...

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Nothing is more expensive than space travel, and where there’s an expensive industry, there are expensive typos!

Probably the most expensive typo in history, an $80 million NASA rocket bound for Venus ended up exploding just after takeoff. Why? Because the coding trajectory was missing a hyphen.

Spelling may not be rocket science, but it sure can screw it up.

7

Ever made a typo so horrendously embarrassing and shocking that you wish you could wipe it off the face of the earth? The author of The Pasta Bible sure did.

In 2010, he tracked down and destroyed all 7,000 copies of his cookbook after a typo in his recipe for tagliatelle with sardines and prosciutto was pointed out to him. Instead of suggesting to season the dish with pepper as he intended, imagine his shock when he read that he’d actually suggested “ground black people”. The poor author’s blunder cost him over $20,000 in lost revenue.

No human proofreaders actually read the book; all the work was done by machines. And it all could have been avoided by proof reading... SO CHECK YOUR WORK CAREFULLY!

FEATURES

Tuesday September 30, 2014

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BETWEEN TWO IDIOTS GEORGE DABBY and PHILIP ADAMS impart some timely student ‘wisdom’

LOVE & WAR ON THE 44 This year we’re asking the students of York to send us their best and worst experiences of commuting around campus. The beloved 44 bus sees and hears too many verbal gems each year to go unnoticed. So let this column be the grapevine of all the stories of love, lust, hatred and loathing that you hear throughout the year.

“To the overweight man sitting in front with his leg outstretched, where does your calf end and your ankle begin?”

- Hollie, #NHStaxpayer “To the lads chatting on the back row, you won’t be seeing many ‘velvet caves’ if you keep calling it that”

- Gertrude, #talktofrank “To the girl who helped pack the bag I split on the top deck, I promise those magazines weren’t for me.”

- Sam, #wristybusiness ‘‘To the mature looking chap on the top floor of the 44, the way the light bounced off the sweaty sheen on your rounded cheeks made me realise perfection is possible.’’

- Riley, #moist.

“To the girl with a downtrodden weathered by life expression and dead eyes, I still would.”

- Buster, #idontdiscriminate “To the girl speaking obnoxiously loudly infront of me, why would you brag about the fact your boyfriend calls your nether regions Notorious VAG, surely that cant be a complement, is there an overweight black man down there?”

- Kurt, #justcallitsausagewalletliketherestofus “To the girl with a face like a punched lasagne which has been likened to a bucket of smashed crabs, we should hook up.”

- Pubert, #justdealtapoorhand.

Got any vehicular tales to share with the Vision team? Text our bus fanatic George Dabby on this number if you want to get in our award-winning publication. He loves any kind of correspondence he can achieve. Give him a text: 07954 359313

wOUSE RULES – WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW For those Freshers first opening the hallowed pages of York Vision, welcome!

Myself, and my esteemed SMA nominated coeditor George Dabby, welcome you to this edition’s ‘Between Two Idiots’. A section that gives us the freedom to splurge the deepest recesses of our minds onto a blank canvas, raucous and occasionally radical, we endeavour to force our words into the public eye, despite the fact that the public neither wants nor needs it. This section would be nothing without its contributors and we are always on the hunt for talent.

Our first piece of advice will be on housemates. The word ‘advice’ is used in the loosest way possible; as even I cannot profess to being that much wiser in how to deal with my housemates after my first year. Perhaps, then, this piece is more of a cautionary tale of a few choice things to avoid, now that you have flown the nest and landed in a cauldron of clashing personalities, tastes and bodily fluids.

When you reach the second term everyone will begin to treat each other like old friends, particularly as you leave the first term as comrades in arms, bonded like blood brothers post Freshers’ Week, or more accurately alliterated chunder chums.

The dirty pint sitting there like a grenade without a pin in the middle of the table has been jumped on, and you can all look back and relive the splendour, the spew and the spats of Freshers. Phrases like “I remember my first impression of you was...” are constantly being tossed around in my house. And this brings me to my first point, making a first impression, who cares?! It’s not important! Your housemates will get to know you regardless if you spend enough time around them. Everyone is nervous and cautious and willing to give you a chance, and in my case a second, third, fourth. I’m still counting to this day.

In my second week on one fateful Thursday, the shower was incomprehensibly occupied for well over twenty minutes and I had a relatively important lecture to get to. Still slightly inebriated from the previous night, I ran into the kitchen to make breakfast, which, unless it’s the day of a lecture, completely evaporates as a meal. As I wolfed down my toast my enraged intoxicated mind realised there was only one logical choice. I scrambled to the kitchen sink, grabbing the Fairy Liquid I lathered my hands up and began splashing water onto myself. It is hard not to apply washing up liquid in a nonsensual fashion, but my goal was speed and although I would arrive smelling like a sterile citrus

kitchen utensil, I refused to turn up smelling of Drambuie and debauchery. As I smeared my lather, two of my female housemates wandered in; their faces suggested sheer shock and horror, mixed with predominantly bafflement and, of course, arousal.

Housemates are also invaluable in crisis situations. The most endearing and heart-warming tale I could tell also falls on a Thursday. A housemate had managed to get himself into a state of unadulterated vegetabilisation.

Slumped in a cold fire exit somewhere near the city walls he rang for assistance. At 3AM a rescue search party set off operating under the age old philosophy of never leaving a man behind. After around an hour we miraculously stumbled upon him. Taking him by the shoulders like a scene from Platoon we began to hoist our wounded worn-out warrior: Tokyo had mentally maimed him. We swiftly taxied home where the girls waited with blankets and coffee; to which he replied “I don’t take sugar in my coffee.”

The point of this is that housemates are much like an Uncle or Aunty, although you may find them painfully dull, they are family. They’ll pick you up when you’re as smashed as a badger and then get you socks or a sagging cake or something equally as cheap and useless for your birthday.

There are also a few fairly simple pointers to bear in mind. Regardless of how exuberant and enthusiastic you’re feeling, it is still not okay to form an impromptu samba band with saucepans in the early hours of the morning. Avoid over exposure and indecency, although it’s nice to let your housemates know you’re comfortable around them, closing toilet doors and using clothes are essential.

There is, of course, genuine advice that is perhaps more applicable to everyone. The old cliché promoted since nursery of just being yourself would be the first. In nursery yourself was a tantrumloving sand-throwing incontinent brat, not too unlike the post-night-out antics of Freshers’ Week. But I’ve found that your housemates will get to know you regardless of any sort of front you put up. If you stick to your guns and don’t change they begin to respect who you are. This is much better than constantly moulding and changing to their tastes. There’s no problem with being confrontational and controversial if you don’t agree, while at the same time showing some self restraint, just to make things go with a swing.

The Idiots’ challenge returns for the new academic year and we’d like to ring in the new year with a call to all Freshers that have a penchant for alcohol, fast food and dutch courage.

CHALL

ENGE!

To add to the mounting peer pressure you will experience this week, the Idiots would also like to coax you into more anti-social behaviour that you would otherwise frown upon. As it’s Freshers’ Week you are most likely to spend some time between the hours of 2-5am in McDonald’s off Stonegate, but perhaps not on the serving side. But, if you can successfully make the dive over to the dark side of the counter, you will be rewarded. Swallow, triple pike, or just bumble over, it’s your choice. In return for your efforts, the Idiots would like to offer you a FREE MCDONALD’S, two FREE shots in Willow and an honourable mention in dispatches. Simply tweet us some photo evidence to @YorkVision and we’ll do the rest.

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FEATURES

Tuesday September 30, 2014

The Great Gap Year Stigma GEORGE DABBY talks about his three weeks with Riad 9 Volunteering (R9V), and why you should reconsider your fear of the gap year nyone on flight EZY8894 to Gatwick Airport would have been forgiven for judging me as a returning troop from the lad’s tour. The indefinable tone of pink that permeated my skin from head to, well… neck, the inexplicable henna tattoo of the Arabic alphabet on my right arm (which a baffled woman points out to me ends at the letter ‘n’) and the ambiguous stains on my last surviving pair of trousers, which I conclude to be the subject of an intense family debate in the adjacent aisle.

Alas, my point of departure

however was not Magaluf but Marrakech, fresh (not so) from three weeks of volunteering in Morocco.

Quickly. Have I earned your disdain already?

Well, I haven’t returned with an orphan, I haven’t begun lecturing my friends and family on the emptiness of their corporate lives or berated them on the inadequacy of their charitable donations. I’ve even turned a blind eye to water wastages in the Ice Bucket Challenge.

But as I hover over this great mosaic city and its jutted skyline, quickly abandoning the excesses

Well, I haven’t returned with an orphan, I haven’t begun lecturing my friends and family on the emptiness of their corporate lives or berated them on the inadequacy of their charitable donations.

I’ve even turned a blind eye to water wastages in the Ice Bucket Challenge.

of African summer, guaranteed diarrhoea and poorly resourced cancer wards, it dawned on me that I wasn’t yet ready to trade the unrelenting adrenaline rush one gets from just being in Morocco, from the first siren of morning prayers, till falling asleep on the roof of your riad amidst a sea of lights and cacophony of noise.

Had I learnt anything? I’d learnt how not to cradle a baby too fast over your shoulder, unless you enjoy touring Marrakech in regurgitated milk. I’d learnt that eating street salad was a sure-fire way to irreversibly soil your favourite cricket shorts and that factor 50 sun cream is produced with good reason.

Maybe a better question is whether I’d learnt something useful. I’d learnt how to entertain a child with severe autism, how to teach the present perfect tense to a fourteen-year-old girl who dreams of being a heart surgeon, and how to be help rather than a hindrance to a nurse, as well as

the tragically bittersweet sensation of making a terminally ill child happy for a few hours.

But I also understand why I’m mockingly accused of ‘saving the world’. Three weeks doesn’t exactly compare to a lifetime’s work in any of the wards we worked in, and I highly doubt that the nurses are given weekends off to explore the Ouzoud Waterfalls. Having also spent a year before university volunteering around Africa and South America, I guess I’ve really embraced the ‘gap yah’ label and all that it entails, making more use of episodic references to it in conversation than your average episode of Family Guy. If you’re comfortable in the knowledge that you are not Gandhi, and avoid trying to convince others that you are, you’re going to do some real tangible good wherever you volunteer, feel really good about it, have a lot of fun, and not be afflicted by douchebagitis.

And that’s why I’ll be returning to Marrakech next summer with Riad 9 Volunteering to do it all over again. Only next summer, with a new hostel, it’s going to be bigger and better, filled with students across the UK looking to share in all that Morocco can offer you.

Sunday evening is when everything gets organised. We’d all sit in our open courtyard, the buzz of Marrakech momentarily heard and not seen. Projects for the week are run through. Monday projects get the ball rolling.

“Who wants to do Babies’ Orphanage?” Majority of hands are raised to care, feed, change and play with babies who are ill in the King Mohammed VI Hospital.

“ABI Teaching?” A band of committed teachers book themselves in to teach an extremely talented and largely self-taught group of aspirational teenagers. We go through the motions. Thursday.

“Oudaya Women?” Everyone wants to help single mothers and their children.

Then we sort out trips for

the weekend. Everyone is doing something different. A group of six are staying overnight in the Rastafarian Café at the foot of the Ouzoud Waterfalls, where they’ll jump off waterfalls and sunbathe for a couple of days.

A group are off to the Sahara, where they’ll ride camels into a Berber camp for an overnight stay amongst the stars. Some have decided that they need a break from the relentless heat of Marrakech, so they’re jumping onto a bus to Agadir, where they’ll relax on the beach by the breezier coast. Others decide that they’ll stay so they can do Bird’s Dreams on Sunday, a charity project that makes arts and crafts with terminally ill children. They can always go to Agadir next week. Wednesday evening we’ll go to the ‘new town’ for a night out and I’ve promised to make a quiz for Monday evening. And so we get started.

Tired of being ripped off and let down on volunteering projects, R9V was set up

by Miles Walbank and Rachel Henwood to give students an affordable way to volunteer, for as long or as little as they wanted.

Miles and Rachel experienced this disappointment when they first volunteered in Morocco, which inspired them to create an organisation of their own.

It’s grown year on year and next summer will be moving to a newly refurbished hostel, complete with air conditioning and rooftop bar. They can provide you with workplace references and opportunities as R9V reps at your universities, or even as project coordinators in Morocco itself.

As my skin peels and henna fades, I’m starting to get back into my usual routine at home, and it’s nice. Nice to be cool, clean and at liberty to eat pork, but I’m in doubt that I’ll be back.

Gastroenteritis aside, the only other bug I’ve caught is the travelling one.

@GeorgeDabby1

SPORT

Tuesday September 30, 2014

SPORT

What do you hope to achieve in your role this year?

We developed a lot last year infrastructure-wise; I’d say we revolutionised college sport last year, with our new website activated, college varsity and much, much more.

This year it’s a matter of continuing all of that, so we’ve got things such as overall system improvements such as new sports coming in, like lacrosse.

We also want to improve participation so we’re going to improve communication with a brand new newsletter which will be sent out to everyone who signs up for college sport.

That way we can make sure people can easily engage in all the one day tournaments, all the sports and just make sure we don’t lose people in the system which, in a university with over 16,000 students, is very easy to do.

What can Freshers look forward to with college sport?

Well, here at York we have 16 regular leagues on offer, from football and rugby, to more unusual sports, such as volleyball, squash, pool and, this year, lacrosse.

There’s loads of different things for students to get involved in. In addition to that we’ve got our one day tournaments planned, we’re hoping to have college cycling for the first time, along with Frisbee and rowing this term which is always brilliant.

PLANS TO OVERHAUL RUGBY

BY OLLIE MEAKIN match teas, so it will just give a more professional vibe to college rugby, which in terms of standards is, along with college football, one of the highest of the college sports.

“The captains have been very enthusiastic about the move and we're hoping it will help to provide a boost to college rugby which last year struggled in terms of participation.”

Washington has created a new super team for the Heslington East Colleges, known as ‘Goodwith’, although now with the inclusion of Constantine College (perhaps a new name is in order).

This move is in response to the

YORK

Callum Shannon interviews Dave Washington, College Sport officer, on why he’s excited about this year

GET INTO SPORT COLLEGE RUGBY is set to have its best ever year this year, after a series of changes made by the Sport Union have moved the fixtures off 22 acres, moving it over to the York Rugby Club in Acomb.

This is in response to the lengthy delays to fixtures before and after the Christmas break, with flooded and frozen pitches cancelling matches.

College Sport Officer Dave Washington told Vision that College Rugby players will be happy with the University’s efforts in making the league more attractive for players: “In addition, they'll have a clubhouse and

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poor turnouts from these teams, but there is hope that perhaps in the future there will be two teams put out.

With these changes Washington is hopeful that College Rugby will see a resurgence .

“If we can have six college rugby teams playing high standard rugby week in week out at an excellent venue then it will be a big improvement on what we currently have.”

As well as this, before this season’s Rugby kicks-off, there will be a College Barbarians side facing a combined University 2s/3s on the 8th October, and the College Varsity will be resuming in the Spring term.

How has having a ninth college changed college sport?

For my purposes, having nine colleges is a logistical nightmare!

Constantine have entered the vast majority of the leagues this term. Leagues with nine teams will be playing an extra week of fixtures, so everyone still plays everyone with each team having a rest week. Having nine colleges puts more strain on getting matches completed.

For the outdoor sports like hockey and tennis and indoor sports like basketball it will mean it will be a lot more testing to get everything complete. Football, however, is unaffected, as only eight teams are playing.

However, there’s no reason we can’t get everything done, as long as we’re sharp on everything and everything stays as organised as it is at the moment.

I’m looking forward to seeing how Constantine fare this year. They seem to be well organised under their new sports rep Frankie Heaton, who’s been doing an excellent job with the Constantine welcome committee in organising Constantine sport.

After York’s very valiant defeat at Lancaster last year, what can we expect to see at Roses?

And Varsity too?

Roses is always a fantastic event, so we’re very fortunate to have it here in York this year.

Hopefully we’ll be able to avenge last year’s loss, but even if we don’t it always proves to be a fantastic weekend and everyone really enjoys it. It’s a great way to showcase York’s sporting system.

We’re also fortunate now to have college varsity to be able to showcase our college sports system; I can’t wait to be able to go to Durham this year after we hosted them last year. It’ll be interesting to see how they do everything.

30 Vısıon YORK

SPORT

Tuesday September 30, 2014

ARE FORMULA 1 DRIVERS GETTING TOO YOUNG? NO - OLLIE YES - CALLUM MEAKIN SHANNON OUR SPORTS EDITOR AND DEPUTY EDITOR BATTLE IT OUT...

There’s nothing that makes me feel old than famous people who are younger than I am, but sixteen-yearold and newly-signed Formula 1 driver Max Verstappen really takes the cake. Sixteen years old and driving in the most prestigious motor racing league in the world! When I was sixteen, I couldn’t even drive my Mum’s Fiat Punto.

Besides my feelings of jealousy and old age, I really do think that sixteen (or seventeen by the time Max will be racing) is a bit too young to be competing in one of the most dangerous sports in the world. To succeed in F1, skill is of course vital, but experience trumps all other traits hands

down and that’s something a teenager simply can’t have. Besides karting, young Max has only one season of Formula 3 under his belt. No wonder that when he took his Toro Rosso car out for a spin in Rotterdam, he managed to crash it into a wall whilst showing off.

While I’m sure Max won’t be doing doughnuts around the Albert Park circuit on his début, him being actually able to handle the car properly is essential for his safety, as well as the safety of the other drivers and the crowd. Formula 1 is an exhilarating sport to watch and constant danger undeniably makes up a big part of this, but the sport hardly needs any more danger.

No, F1 drivers can never be too young.

Age is, and shouldn’t be, a barrier to talent, so if someone is good enough to race then it shouldn’t matter if they are 16 or 60.

Of course Max Verstappen joining Toro Rosso for the upcoming season is an exciting development, following in the footsteps of his father, Jos, who raced in Formula 1 from 1999 to 2003.

Max has broken the record for the youngest driver by roughly two years, taking the mantle from Jaime Alguersuari.

Any notion of Max being an inexperienced driver can be dismissed immediately; the boy has been karting since the

age of four, and was racing in Formula 3 last year.

David Coulthard has thrown his backing behind the young driver, suggesting like I have, that age is no issue, but has noted that Verstappen senior’s career was hampered by a sudden debut in Formula 1, so it remains to be seen if Max will suffer the same fate.

Teams usually operate with a lead driver and a junior partner, so to speak, usually because many of the smaller teams cannot afford to have two high profile drivers on the wage books, and because resources are usually stretched. Verstappen will be the understudy to Kvyat, himself a relative rookie.

SPOTLIGHT: POLO Lorenzo Wong speaks to Adela Iacobov about being part of the Polo team

What made you decide to take up polo at the university?

I wanted to take up a sport I had never tried before when I got to uni, to try something new, and I was trying to find something I would enjoy. I saw the Polo Club stand at Freshers’ Fair and I remember going up there to ask about training and joining, and everyone was so nice and welcoming I decided to sign up for the taster session.

As a beginner when you arrived at the university, what interested or surprised you most about the sport?

To be honest, how different it is from riding. I had been riding for years, but when I started polo, we were told to forget everything – the position, the way we held the reigns – we were told to do everything we had been told we weren’t meant to do when riding, and it was very confusing at first, but you get used to it very quickly.

What kind of environment should freshers be expecting at the club?

I genuinely think it’s one of the friendliest and most welcoming clubs, that’s why I joined; you get to meet lovely people and your abilities do not matter at all – everyone plays for fun, and you learn from it as much as you want to.

What sort of attributes or skills are needed to thrive at polo?

I guess you need a decent sense of balance to be able to ride and use a mallet, but that’s about it; you learn the rest as you go.

Did you have prior horse riding experience, and is it needed?

I did have prior horse riding experience, and I won’t lie it did help me. You’re more

likely to feel comfortable near the ponies and, when riding, if you’ve got riding experience, you’re more calm and prepared to deal with the ponies’ reactions. On the other hand, however, prior riding experience can even be confusing, as you learn a certain position and actions, which when you start polo you are told to forget. This can be difficult – I struggled to adjust my position after years of being taught a different set of rules. So really, it’s all up to you – there are people in the club playing polo with no riding experience and there are people (well, the majority) who had some type of riding experience. I think riding experience, at least to me, helped me more in deciding to sign up, as I knew I loved horses and I was not intimidated by the fact that the sport involved riding, so it completely depends on the person.

Some of the freshers might fear joining a club which is cliquey or unwelcoming. Can you give them words of reassurance?

As I’ve said, I joined because I loved how nice and welcoming everybody was at Freshers’ Fair and during the first taster session I met one of my closest friends at uni, we both knew it immediately – there is absolutely no reason to worry, just give it a chance and try to get to know the people. Everyone is really welcoming and it’s very easy to get involved, despite certain stereotypes.

How did the club get on last year and how do you think you can build on that?

I think the club got on very well last year, and I know the new committee has planned more socials and activities for this year, so this will be the perfect time to join the club and try an exciting new sport. However, it is an addictive sport, and everyone I’ve talked to agreed on this, so be prepared to spend your money on training.

SPORT

Tuesday September 30, 2014

Vısıon 31 YORK

VISION BUCS PREVIEW

LACROSSE HAS THIS ONE...

BY HELENA SUTCLIFFE AS THE morning temperature gradually decreases, the number of students walking around campus increases, and the picture of 2014/2015 begins to be painted. It’s hard to miss the hint in the portrait of two colours we’ve come to associate with hard graft, passion, determination and hopefully a great deal of success; Black and Gold.

Students all around are once again proudly sporting their university’s colours and next week they will begin sporting them on the pitch, court or track, as BUCS 2014/2015 gets underway!

For those unaware of the competition, BUCS stands for British Universities and Colleges Sport and involves our teams competing against other universities in their region, hoping to achieve glory in both the league and cup competitions. Each university is given a rank in the league table depending on the overall performance of their sports clubs.

The university’s highest placing in BUCS came when it entered the competition for the first time, way back in the 04/05 season where York finished in 33rd place. Since then the team in black and gold have been a consistent top 50 outfit, reinforcing their place as a great habitat for sporting talent.

Last year, York broke back into the

top 40 club, finishing in 38th place overall, their highest position for seven years and five places higher than the previous year in 2012/13.

The result came as a shock to many yet the clubs and Sport Union overall will be hoping this year for another top 40 place, reinforcing their claim as a big force in the world of university sport.

The standard of sport has definitely increased at York over the years, particularly this year, with many facilities being improved to

create quality environments for the athletes to train in and compete on.

Focus has also increased on sports which are now being offered specialist support through physiotherapists and workshops. With such improvements being made, it should be of little surprise that this has led to improvements in results. The question is whether this year York can continue to impress overall, and maybe even elevate above last year’s success.

There was particular success last

year for the women’s netball 1st team, who were promoted into the Northern 3B league after an epic win over Sheffield 2nds by 52 points to 42. The men’s football 1sts also enjoyed promotion and will be playing in the 2B league this year, sealing their reward with a 3-0 win over Leeds Met. Perhaps the best hope for success this year, however, is in Lacrosse, as judging by last year’s results the team has a great chance of earning some valuable points for the university. Last season the women’s and men’s teams both won both their league and cup competitions and were undefeated. The challenge of the higher divisions will test their resilience but this is definitely a club setting the bar for sporting success.

But with 65 teams taking part, any number one of them could help push York up the leaderboard, with a number of new additions hoping to make an impact in their first year in the competition.

American football, women’s hockey 3rds and women’s football 2nds will all be entering BUCS for the first time.

Look out for all the sport teams taking part in the competition starting next week. This is a very important year in the progress of sport at York, where another top 40 or higher finish will surly boost the university’s reputation for sport success; watch this space!

SPORT

Tuesday September 30, 2014

The Cheese And The German I’ve seen some strange sports stories in my time, but this one might just be the barmiest of the lot.

Having been axed by Fulham Football Club after a torrid seven months, German manager Felix Magath doesn’t seem to be getting much respite from the British tabloids. The former Bayern Munich gaffer has often raised eyebrows for his brutal training regimes and questionable choice of spectacles, but not even the lucky bastard who put a fiver on Leicester City to beat United 5-3 could have predicted ex-Fulham captain Brede Hangeland’s recent revelation.

The big Norwegian claims that Magath interrupted his appointment with the club physio to treat an injured thigh, demanding that a block of cheese soaked in alcohol be used to address the niggle. With such ground-breaking physiology available to Fulham, we can only wonder why Hangeland decided to leave for Crystal Palace a few months later. (Cue everyone telling me that Fulham released him.

I’m trying to be funny, so just go with it.)

LORENZO WONG MY CYNICAL FRIEND AND I

Jon Barrow and I pretend that we’re enthusiastic about attempting an informative piece Should we be excited about sport at the university this year?

Yes (LW): A new Olympic size velodrome, a new JLD, a new college and a new sport in the form of VX makes this year more exciting than most.

Whether it be at collegiate or university level, any involvement in what the Sport Union has to offer will definitely be worth your time.

A particular event worth getting excited about is next year’s Roses, when we will host and compete with the best sport Lancaster University has to offer.

No (JB): I have an Xbox and access to Sky Sports…

Is joining a sport club a key part of the university experience?

Can I join a sports society without knowing anything about the sport?

Issue 245

@YorkVisionSport

YORK

Sticks And Water (Part 2)

Follow me @lorenzo95wong

Yes (LW): Absolutely… well, given that I’m yet to find my sport club calling, I’m obliged to say that trying will do.

I signed up to a load of taster sessions at the start of the year and though one thing did not lead to another, trying a new sport, and one you may not be able to do anywhere else, could prove to be a good escape from the stresses of studying.

From abseiling to Octopush, the University has something for you.

No (JB): Only if scouting campus talent counts as a sport.

I, for one, admire Mad Magath’s audacity and commitment to his wife’s spiralling-outof-control fetishes. Perhaps if Roy Hodgson started getting Rooney and Sturridge to cover themselves with Babybels soaked in whisky, we’d compete with Felix’s Germany in international competitions. And perhaps if I’d placed a few of Derwent catering’s chicken kievs on my arse cheeks instead of consuming them, the experience would have been more enjoyable.

Mere speculation, I suppose.

Vısıon 33

Yes (LW): Yes, you can, and yes, I am running out of ideas for questions.

At the very least, sports societies here will pretend they’re not cliquey and reluctantly welcome you with open arms.

But in all seriousness, that’s extremely rare here. You could turn up to a polo session without knowing that the sport involves riding a horse.

It’s important that you don’t limit yourself to things you think you’re comfortable with, but at the same time, don’t feel obliged to keep something up which you find you aren’t enjoying.

No (JB): If you don’t know, don’t go.

Should I have asked someone other than Jon to do this article with me?

Yes (LW): If no one decides to try a university sport after reading this, probably.

No (JB): This article would be nothing without my input.

Any last words? Something motivational? A play on words which proves witty but at the same time thought-provoking?

Yes (LW): A wise man at a Russell Group university open day once told me, if you go to university and leave it with a First and nothing else, you’ll have wasted your time. (Boom.)

No (JB): No.

Tuesday September 30, 2014

www.flickr.com/photos/yorkvision

I wrote an article about Octopush in the last issue, and now it seems my superiors want another piece on it. Heck, I’ll probably be running for Octopush Editor soon… though perhaps I’ll go for deputy at first, ease my way into things.

In all seriousness, it’s a sport which all you Freshers should know about and have a crack at. Combining swimming, snorkelling, and hockey, Octopush certainly isn’t for the faint-hearted (as I unfortunately found out during my taster sessions). However, club president Victoria Wilkinson was quick to point out to me how easy it was to feel at home shortly after joining the society: “Octopush fitted my needs perfectly – a relaxed club where you don’t need to have played before and where it’s more about spreading awareness about the sport than about being the best club.”

Even then, Octopush scooped up Most Improved Sport at the York Sport dinner. Joining the local Yorkshire league and taking part in their first Roses were big strides towards becoming one of the most popular sports on campus, and Wilkinson reveals that there’s more to come: “Our biggest plan for next year is to go to Germany next Easter to play a match against a team that was set up by people who used to play at York.”

Clearly, there’s a lot to look forward to in the world of Octopush at York. Mark my words. No, please do. I refuse to write another one of these.

sport@yorkvision.co.uk

www.yorkvision.co.uk/sport

34 Vısıon YORK

SPORT

Tuesday September 30, 2014

NEW SPORTS PROGRAMME ON OFFER SPORTS UNION ANNOUNCE NEW SPORTS PERFORMANCE PROGRAMME CONTINUING THEIR improvement of opportunities available to students, York Sport Union has recently announced a new scheme for 2014 in the form of a ‘Performance Programme’. The hope is to generate further success for York’s elite athletes and overall better the performance of the university’s sports clubs.

The scheme, which will be

BY HELENA SUTCLIFFE offering 15 scholarships to students who can demonstrate great sporting talent, will give the selected students many types of guidance, including strength and conditioning, and Sport Science Workshops and Support, according to the Sport Union website. They will be expected to compete at a high level, boosting the university’s reputation in university sport.

York Sport Union has also announced the inclusion of a sixth focus sport. The chosen sport will receive specialist support from the Sport Union and York Sport, as well as the services offered in the scholarship scheme. Last year Lacrosse became the fifth focus sport team. Applications for the new place closed on Monday night.

Sports President Cass

Brown told Vision she’s fulfilling her plans to improve the scheme.

“I’ve revamped the Performance Programme this year to be a much more meaningful and impactful scheme. In my manifesto I said I wanted to improve this by being resourceful and working closely with the community and the University which I’ve managed to do.

IS MESUT ÖZIL DOING A TORRES?

No need to panic - he’s not doing a Torres

BY TOBI SANBI DURING HIS last season at Real Madrid, Özil was, in my opinion, the second best attacking midfielder in the world, second only to Andrés Iniesta. Thus as an Arsenal fan you can imagine the joy I felt when Özil signed for us out the blue on transfer deadline day in 2013. He got off to a good start with an assist against Sunderland during his first game, however he seemed to fade away as the season went on and didn’t have the impact that many hoped he would. His penalty miss against Bayern Munich seemed to be a turning point, and from then on he has been under vast criticism from fans and journalists worldwide. So the question beckons, is he doing a Torres?

In my opinion, not at all. I think that everyone is overreacting, and let me explain why. Despite his performances being underwhelming I don’t think that it was his fault, and instead it was

the type of players he was playing with. When playing for Germany in 2010 he was playing in an attack with Müller, Podolski and Klose. All three of these players were always on the go, constantly making runs and creating space which allowed Özil to thread them in on goal. During Euro 2012 he was playing in a team with Reus, Müller and Klose, whilst Gotze also featured frequently. Once again these players were always running in behind the back four, allowing Özil to play his signature through balls into them to create numerous chances. At Real he had Ronaldo, Di Maria, Higuain and Benzema around him.

All of whom similarly made runs, stretched defences etc...

However at Arsenal last season he didn’t have these types of players. Walcott was injured for most of the 2013/14 season and so Özil didn’t have anyone making attacking runs whilst he was on the ball. For the majority of games last season he played centrally, with Cazorla to his right, Wilshere to his left and Giroud up front. Cazorla and Wilshere are

both great players, but neither are wingers, both preferring to play centrally. It is not in their game to be making the off the ball runs which players like Walcott, Benzema and Müller make instinctively. Whilst they also don’t have the pace to stretch defences and create space like Di Maria, Reus and others do. Also Giroud is not a striker that looks to run in behind defenders and so it was hard for Özil to put him in on goal.

And even when Özil would manage to pick him out, Giroud would probably miss anyway. The point I’m making is that when Özil receives the ball and looks up he has no runners. There’s no space on the pitch, and instead his wingers and striker are static, asking for the ball to feet rather than trying to lose their markers. He can’t play his game and perform at the highest level without runs behind the defence being made.

The only real runner he had last season was Ramsey, who would often make runs from deep. However one runner is not enough, and without the right players around him it is no wonder he was

not as prolific as many had hoped.

His start for Arsenal this season was not too great either, however he was playing out of position and on the wing in a 4-14-1 formation and so this isn’t too surprising. But during the game against Villa he showed a glimpse of his class. He was playing centrally and through Chamberlain and Welbeck he actually had runners who he could find, with him and Welbeck linking up for two of Arsenal’s three goals. Despite a poor season last year, I expect big things from him this year if he plays centrally. With the signings of Sanchez and Welbeck he will have players who are constantly looking to run in behind, like he had at Real, and like he has for Germany. Once Walcott returns in October and Özil’s playing in an attack with Sanchez, Walcott and Welbeck, we will see just how great Özil is once again, and all his recent critics will have to eat their words. Arsenal fans, there is no need to panic, Özil is definitely not the new Torres and he will bounce back to his best this season.

College football rule changes in place

BY OLLIE MEAKIN CHANGES HAVE been made this year to the structure and organisation of College Football with the hope of making the leagues more competitive and fair.

The changes will make sure teams play fairly and that the level of squads matches the skill of individual team members.

A new league system comprising of four streams of teams, with 1sts in a Premier division; 2nds in League 1; 3rds in League 2 and the 4ths and 5ths in League 3, will be implemented from the first new roster of fixtures.

Promotion will see teams relegated and promoted from leagues; with the top two finishing teams being promoted and therefore the bottom two being relegated.

The largest and most important change will see the Sport Union enforce a stricter policy on the ability of players and the level that they compete at.

University 1sts players will now be cleared to play in College 1sts teams, with there now being no restriction on the number of University players in any one team.

Although a University player is not allowed to play for a College team below their level (i.e. a Uni 2nds player can only play for their College 1sts or 2nds).

Regular College players will no longer be able to drop down through the levels by more than two teams, with the idea that it will stop higher level players being used to saving struggling lower sides.

The University is keen to make sure these rules are enforced, with captains having to submit team sheets after every match.

SPORT

Tuesday September 30, 2014

Vısıon 35 YORK

WELCOME TO YORK SPORT! Yorkshire Jets Players Set To Train UYNC

YUSU Prez Cass Brown chats to Vision

BY CAITLIN GRAHAM THE UNIVERSITY of York Netball team are still celebrating after promotion at the end of last season.

But it looks like the girls have even more to celebrate after securing Netball Super League Players, Yorkshire Jets to come down for to two training sessions in the upcoming term.

The Yorkshire Jets play in the Netball Super League (NSL), the top flight of netball and after an impressive 2013/14 season, including a tight game against Surrey Storm where the Jets won by only one goal. The Yorkshire Jets have high prospects for the new season. As do UYNC, with both teams currently preparing themselves for the upcoming season.

Ecstatic UYNC are ecstatic that some of the players will be taking time out to come and help the girls train. With the pressure on for another successful year and more promotions, training with the Yorkshire Jets players will hopefully give the club a new edge and the chance to advance their skills.

Vice-Captain Hollie Dixson told Vision: “It is brilliant that we have the chance to be trained by national level playwers that will really help us to reach promotions again this year.

“It is fantastic that our club has been recognised for having so much potential this year that they are coming to York! All the girls are really excited for this opportunity and the whole club are training really hard to ensure we impress them!.”

BY HELENA SUTCLIFFE SET FOR a new year as head of the Sports Union, Cass Brown faces another year aiming to make York a special place for sport, but what does she think makes York stand out from other universities?

“The York Sport Union has a stunning spirit which has thrived in recent years and especially last year when we managed to reach our highest ever placing in BUCS of 38th! We stand out from other sporting Unions due to our commitment to both performance and

Sports facilities quality to improve

participatory level sport. We have University sport, College Sport and a ‘Get into Sport’ programme aimed at complete beginners.”

Sports clubs are sometimes deemed as cliquey and intimidating to those who are beginners, but Cass was keen to assure anyone who’s unsure of the positives of joining a sports club.

“Sport made my university experience, and if you get involved, it will certainly make yours. Your club often becomes your family at University and the atmosphere you get to be a part of is just amazing. Playing sport is also a highly attractive thing to future employ-

[cont’d from back] The completion of the velodrome at the York Sport Village was delayed by some months after unforeseen circumstances pushed the opening back, missing the arrival of the Tour de France in Yorkshire in July. The facility is open to staff, students and the general public, an enterprise undertaken in conjunction

ers!”

Cass recalls her first experience of the sports union fondly.

“As a Fresher I thought sport at York was super inclusive. I represented the Badminton Club which is without a doubt one of the friendliest sports clubs on campus and I got to play every college sport I wanted. As soon as I joined I knew I wanted to be part of the Black and Gold family.”

The beginning of a new academic year brings with it, for many students, resolutions of taking up a sport, something that is much easier to do while at university than at any other time. When

with British Cycling to provide a new generation of young adults the opportunity to develop with the aid of first class facilities.

Vice-Chancellor Koen Lamberts said of the new facility; “In the year the Tour de France comes to York, we are very proud to provide a superb addition to the city’s sports facilities that will complement our

asked how non sporty students can also get involved, Cass argued that there are just as many opportunities for those not wanting to compete.

“York is the perfect place to get involved even if you don’t like sport. We have an array of sports clubs that aren’t considered typically ‘sporty’ – just check out the list on the YUSU website www. yusu.org/sport. Also, we have various events throughout the year, like Roses which attracts thousands of spectators who go to support York and get involved in the Lancaster/York rivalry, rather than the actual sport!”

floodlit 1.2km closed road cycle circuit. Our partnership with British Cycling to develop this additional facility is a clear demonstration of our commitment to ‘inspire activity’ and to promote the health and wellbeing of people across the city and beyond.”

The new athletics track at James College, which is set for completion towards

the end of the year, is a joint project with the City of York Council and the University to provide a county standard facility in the city. The new project will feature an eight-lane county standard track meeting, together with a pavilion and covered seating for 500 spectators.

The new stadium will become the home to the City of York Athletic Club.

yorkvision.co.uk/sport

ısıon VSport YORK

BUCS PREVIEW

How does your sport stand? Pg 31

SPORT OPINION:

Is Ozil the new CHANGES Torres?

Pg 34 TO COLLEGE FOOTBALL SPOTLIGHT

We give polo a try...

Pg 32

EXCLUSIVE

CASS

‘York is the perfect place even if you don’t like sport’ P35

We speak to YUSU Sport President, Cassandra Brown, as she takes up her position for the second year running. We’re excited...

UNI MAKES MASS INVESTMENT

VELLO THERE Sports facilities’ quality set to rise sharply Velodrome finally opens

BY OLLIE MEAKIN

THE UNIVERSITY has been undertaking a series of ambitious projects aiming to improve the quality of the sports facilities at the University, with the completion of the £1.1 million pound velodrome on Hes East, and the ongoing work on the new £2 million county standard athletics facility near James College.

[Cont’d - Page 35]