Issue 242 by York Vision

THE UK’S MOST AWARDED STUDENT NEWSPAPER

YORK VISION Tuesday April 29th, 2014

vision@yusu.org

Issue 242

PUPPY LOUNGE TO OPEN SEE PAGE 3

WWW.YORKVISION.CO.UK

THE BIG INTERVIEW: DERREN BROWN FEATURES PAGE 19:

VISIT YORKVISION.CO.UK/SCENE FOR A FREE DOWNLOAD OF LOCAL MUSIC

PARTY HOLIDAYS: YES OR NO? LIFESTYLE PAGE 23:

“WE DON’T ALLOW THAT SORT OF THING IN HERE”

BARRED FOR BEING GAY VISION EXCLUSIVE BY LEON MORRIS

TWO STUDENTS were forced to leave a bar last weekend – for being GAY. The couple were asked to leave cocktail retreat Bora Bora for kissing. The couple, who wish to remain unnamed, were bullied for being ‘sexualised’ and were pushed to leave the bar. The manager targeted the duo saying “he doesn’t want to bar homosexuals.” Full story - Pages Four and Five

LIFESTYLE: 12 SHOES FOR 12 LOVERS

SCENE: THE TABOO ISSUE

SPORT: VARSITY PREVIEW 30-31

2 NEWS

YORK VISION Tuesday April 29, 2014

YORK VISION EXCLUSIVE PROJECT-D LAUNCHES BY HELENA HORTON

SPOTIFY SOUNDCLASH is hosting a free event in Derwent on the 1st May to launch ProjectD. It will be headlined by Paul PBH and there will be free beverages and a BBQ. There will also be sets by DJ Antwon, Irie Vibes and Nightvision – and students will be able to enjoy a free bouncy castle. The FREE barbeque, according to the Facebook event, will include “a lot more than cheap Aldi burgers.” The event will be held from 2pm-8pm on the day by Hendrix Hall in Derwent, and is open to all students. Andy Bostock, who organised the event and is in charge of running the college’s end of year event, ProjectD, commented; “It will be completely free, feature live music from a range of genres, free food and drink, competitions etc. Speak Easy Liberations will also being there providing cocktails in the sun (although not free sadly!) “We are gonna do this one with style - and 100% free for all. Free food, drink and music all day on Thursday 1st May (Week 2) on B block lawns.”

GOT A STORY? >> 07584 046 079 We pride ourselves on being the best source of student news in York.

Email vision@yusu.org news@yorkvision. co.uk Web yorkvision.co.uk @YorkVision Twitter Leon: @imleonmorris Adrian: @adybug95

GOODFEST ACTS ANNOUNCED

VISION CAN exclusively reveal that Coast and Sons and Lovers will be headlining Goodfest this summer. Joining them will be Kallum Taylor’s brother’s band, Sugarking, Dandy and Delions, Irie Vibes, Ben Trelfer, Y Street Band and more. Sons and Lovers have played at Reading and Leeds

festivals twice now, and are coming to York to play at Goodfest, which is a open to all students. The free event marks it’s fifth anniersary and it will be followed by an afterparty. Goodricke Chair Tara Annison told Vision: “I mean we had people like One direction begging us to play but we just had to be harsh and say no …

“The after party is going to be insane, we have the atrium in law and management which is going to have a bar, bucking bronco, the football on and of course amazing music from York’s own DM sounds and upcoming DJ and saxophone player Boney - it’s going to be an amazing night and what’s more … it’s completely FREE!!”

EMPEROR SANTINI I BY ANGUS QUINN NATTHANI SANTINI has been announced as the first ever Constantine College Chair. The inaugural Santini will lead the new Welcome Committee until December when a JCRC will be elected to represent the students of Constantine College. Santini will be joined by Jack Ogilvie as her Vice Chair for Com-

munity. Voters also elected Goodricke student, Harry Lewis, Jacob Turner as Secretary and Sophie Newman as Ents Officer. There were no candidates for the position of Sports Officer. But it also emerged that turnout was only 18 per cent of the Constantine membership. Santini will be solely responsible for coordinating Constantine’s

inaugural Freshers before the elections for a full committee in December. Constantine was revealed as the name of College nine in August 2013 but the College logo has come under fire for an inaccurate depiction of the Roman Emperor. The College Buildings have also been designed with ecology in mind: with designs aiming to maximise renewable energy sources

and minimise energy wastage. It is sited between the Sports Centre and Langwith College and constructed around a central college nucleus. The college colour scheme also came under fire from Vanbrugh JCRC Chair Michael Duncan who said the use of purple was ‘ridiculous’. The College will open to students in September 2014.

Editors: Angus Quinn & Karl Tomusk; Managing Director: Leon Morris; Deputy Editors: Helena Horton & Callum Shannon; Scene Editors: Milo Boyd & Rachel Seymour; Digital Editor: Jack Western; Photo Editors: Jack Western & Zoe Bennell; News Editors: Leon Morris & Adrian Horan; Deputy News: Hugo Thompson & Jonathan Barrow; Chief News Reporter: Jack Gevertz; Comment Editors: Michael Cooper & Lizzie Roberts; Deputy Comment: Eliza Gkritsi & Joonsoo Yi; Features Editors: Tom Davies & Barto Joly de Lotbiniere; Deputy Features: Dave Washington & Zena Jarjis; Lifestyle Editors: Selina Pope & Maddi Howell; Deputy Lifestyle: Doris Xu & Jim Dee; Sports Editors: James Pascoe & Isaac Lister; Deputy Sport: Ollie Meakin & Helena Sutcliffe; Chief Sub-Editors: Anna Hinchcliffe & Samuel Bowell Opinions expressed in York Vision are not necessarily those of the Editors, senior editorial team, membership, or advertisers. Every effort is made to ensure all articles are as factually correct as possible at the time of going to press, given the information available. Copyright Vision Newspapers, 2014. Printed by Mortons of Horncastle.

YORK VISION

NEWS

Tuesday April 29, 2014

SHE CAN DO IT!

YORK VISION EXCLUSIVE

BY LEON MORRIS A YORK student is one of the top ten finalists for this year’s Female Undergraduate of the Year. Second year student Bronwyn O’Neill overcame tough competition from seven hundred applicants to win a place on the shortlist. Bronwyn said: “I applied for FUOTY as it looked like an interesting challenge with the potential of great rewards and experience. “It was a very rewarding experience, definitely worthwhile! Even if I don’t make it to the number one position, it’s an amazing feeling to be in the top 10 out. The whole process has been really enlightening and I’m sure the experience will help me in years to come.” The winner of the award will be announced at a gala event in Canary Wharf, London on 25 April 2014, with the ceremony presented by Sir Trevor McDonald. The winner will win a ten week paid summer internship with RollsRoyce, including one or two weeks at a European facility, an opportunity to shadow a senior female manager for a day and an Apple iPad.

TAKE A PAWS! EXAM PUPPY LOUNGE TO OPEN

Feeling ruff? Check in to York’s new puppy pad... BY JACK GEVERTZ EXAM STRESS can turn bright days into pretty ruff ones. So thankfully officials at the University’s Halifax College have come up with an innovative idea that can help students during a paws. The student association is hoping that the college will become one of the few on campus to open a puppy room to help undergraduates and postgraduates de-stress during weeks 5 to 7. The idea, which has already been adopted at other British universities, including Nottingham Trent, would see a room opening to students with a chance to stroke and play with the pets. Students have hailed the idea as the “best thing since the library.” One said: “That sounds awesome!” The Student Association’s Sponsorship Officer, Rachel Smith, who is

DYKES LANE TO CLOSE BY CALLUM SHANNON SECTIONS OF Green Dykes Lane and Melrosegate will be closed due to emergency gas works this week. The work, which began on Monday 28th April, is due to be completed this Friday, May 2nd. The repairs are being carried out by Northern Gas. While the repairs are being carried out, Green Dyke Lane from Heslington Road to Lawrence Street and Hull Road will be inaccessible to traffic, road users being diverted via Barbican Road instead. Melrosegate will be closed completely, with traffic being diverted through Tang Hall and and Alcuin avenue.

appealing for companies to come forward to make the idea happen, said: “We’re really excited at the prospect of having some puppies in Halifax during exams to de-stress students. It looks to be a great success at Nottingham Trent and we hope to have something to announce soon!” The Vice-President of Welfare Jessica Smith added: “The exam period is a particularly stressful time for many students and that often coincides with an increase in feelings of homesickness. “The comfort that you can get from physical contact, specifically hugging and playing, with another living thing has been shown to help reduce this type of emotional stress, especially if that animal is a household pet that reminds you of home.”

@imjackyeah

BONELESS COLLEGE? BY HELENA HORTON

CHANCELLOR GREG Dyke is to leave the University, Vision can reveal. The 66-year-old, who has been in the role since 2004, will leave York in 2015. It is not known why Mr Dyke, who was appointed the chairman of the FA during his tenure in 2013, will be leaving his position. A spokesperson for the Uni-

versity said: “Greg will step down as Chancellor in 2015. He has done and continues to do an outstanding job for the University in this honorary position.” The University will now consult with the Senate, Council Court and the student associations on a possible successor. In accordance with the Charter, a final decision will be made by the University Court.

Those wishing to know the tenth college’s new name are in for a disappointment. In exclusive talks with top boss David Duncan, the Uni seemed baffled by suggestions that College 10 could be named after tyrannical viking, Ivar the Boneless. Duncan said: “That’s a really bad idea”. When we quizzed the senior university official over his preferred choices for names he said Kimbelo college, named after a nearby hill, “rolls off the tongue.” The University Registrar was not keen on the idea of Dyke College,

saying he would prefer the college to be named after the Deramores if a ‘D’ name was used; ‘Deramores’ refers to an aristocratic family who used to reside in Heslington Hall. However, the University said that there has to be a widespread debate about the name before one is chosen. But it seems, from Mr Duncan’s response, that bosses at York don’t seem in any rush to adopt a name after the University bungled the new logo design for ninth college Constantine College, which depicted Hadrian instead of the chosen despot emperor.

@helenashead

4 NEWS NATIONAL SUCCESS BY LEON MORRIS A GROUP of student filmmakers from the Department of Film, Theatre and Television have been nominated for a national award from the Royal Television Society. Diogo Guerner, James Homer and Sunniva Kvamme, have been nominated for an award in the highly competitive Undergraduate Fiction category at the national RTS Student Television Awards 2013. Following recent success, the team won at the Yorkshire Region Student Awards ceremony in November 2013, in which they fought off strong competition from 15 other entries in the fiction category. Nominated for short film Snapshot, Diogo Guerner directed the nominated film in his second year.

He said: “It was a great honour to receive the prize for best fiction film last year, and I’m really proud and excited to have Snapshot representing the University of York at the RTS national competition.” John Mateer, who leads York’s BSc in Film and Television Production, said: “We are very proud of Diogo Guerner. This is a very highly competitive award scheme with regional winners competing for a spot in the nationals; it is not guaranteed so simply being nominated is a huge accomplishment for Diogo and the department.” Judges at the regional awards said Snapshot stood out because it is “a simple story so effectively told with assurance and real skill”. They also commented on the great use of special effects and overall standard of direction. Professor Andrew Higson, Head of the Department, said: “This is a tremendous achievement by our talented filmmakers and our warmest congratulations go to Diogo Guerner and his team.” The winners will be announced at a ceremony on Friday 16th May at the BFI Southbank in London.

YORK VISION

Tuesday April 29, 2014

VISION EXCLUSIVE: YORK N

Students open up about hate crime horror in York City Centre... [Continued from Front Page] But when he came back and was further questioned, the boss admitted, “It’s sexualised when two people of the same sex kiss, not romantic.” One student said he was “furious and intimidated” with the incident. He said: “I would never have expected something like this to happen in a bar in York. I was left feeling victimised and angry. “What concerns me is that the owner genuinely believed his views were acceptable and was in his right to impose them on us.” A witness told Vision she was “sick to the bone” with the manager and claimed there were “lots of other couples kissing”. She said: “The boys I met were not doing anything outrageous in the slightest. “They were being victimised due to their sexuality. The manager openly admitted that if it had been myself [sic] kissing a guy, there would have been no issue. I found this disgusting and I was extremely angry.” Another witness also added: “I was with a female gay friend, yet when I asked whether I would get thrown out for kissing her, the manager said no.” Bora Bora’s manager was unable to comment when contacted by Vision. But it’s not the first time the bar has come under fire, with other students claiming the venue victimised them on the basis of their sexual preference. A student claimed that he was forced to leave after briefly kissing his boyfriend. He said: “It was not a particularly passionate kiss and we were dancing with a group of straight friends, but we were told to stop, as ‘we don’t allow things like that in this place, stop now.’” But the hate seemed to continue with one third year student claiming she experienced sexual harassment by staff members. She said: “The bartender who served me a cocktail at Bora Bora was lascivious and creepy, making untoward remarks about my appearance. If this is okay and two guys kissing isn’t, I don’t want to spend any more time in Bora Bora.” One second year gay student is scared the incident in Bora Bora is not a oneoff, and shows a problem with York’s entire nightlife. He said: “I was appalled by the views expressed by the owner and dread the idea of being cautious of my actions every time I’m on a night out, in case I’m again threatened with being thrown out of a bar. Needless to say I won’t be going back.” The owner also made it clear that he took issue only with same sex couples.

Pictures: Jack Western

STUDENTS FORCED OUT FOR BEING GAY GOODRICKE KISS-IN PROTEST PLANNED “He [the manager] did nothing about the multiple heterosexual couples who were also kissing at the time.” He added: “I truly hope that students realise how unacceptable this is and how it’s likely to impact a lot of their friends.” The news follows a string of students crying out with similar cases in York. York Vision conducted a survey confirming that just over half of LGBTQ students surveyed had experienced some sort of homophobia or sexual harassment when enjoying a night out at York. One anonymous student told Vision “I think York’s nightlife

needs a bit of a wakeup call. Students have to understand that they shouldn’t be putting up with this blatant discrimination and these double standards.” They added: “When we’ve just had the milestone of marriage equality, the last thing I expect is to be subject to a situation like this, there really is no place for it.” A number of YUSU Club nights came under fire with students claiming incidents of homophobia in clubs such as Club Salvation, Kuda Night Club and Tokyo. One student said: “I was ‘getting off ’ with this guy and a girl

was pointing at us, giving us dirty looks and muttering stuff to her boyfriend about us being disgusting.” Another told Vision: “I was in Kuda Night club and I had to break up a fight between some friends and a group of men. One guy calls me a ‘fat dyke’ for the pleasure.” It seems incidents ranged further afield with one student claiming: “I got gay-bashed outside Efe’s because some douche called me ‘qu*er’ and I started antagonising him. It did not end well.” With another stating they receive a lot of ‘slurs like “f*gg*t” on nights out.”

NEWS

YORK VISION

Tuesday April 29, 2014

NIGHTLIFE HOMOPHOBIA EPIDEMIC

CLIMATE OF HOMOPHOBIA BY The climate of homophobia has triggered a number of outcries from student reps across the uni. The Students’ Union LGBTQ Officer, Maddie Boden, urged students to avoid unfriendly bars. She stressed “the importance of feeling safe while in bars and clubs in York”. She added: “If you feel harassed or threatened because of your sexuality or gender identity, call the police. No matter how big or small the incident is, it is still a hate crime.” YUSU Welfare and Community Officer, George Offer, said: “All incidences of homophobia on campus or in the city are unac-

LEON MORRIS

ceptable and will be taken very seriously by North Yorkshire Police who are tough on hate crime. “If you ever experience homophobia on a night out, you can report it directly to the Council, or through Yorkshire MESMAC, who can provide support and guidance through the process.” YUSU President Kallum Taylor added: “This is obviously a cause for concern. We absolutely will not tolerate it and expect our partners to be in line with that.” Tara Annison, Goodricke College Chair also condemned Bora Bora: “I can’t believe that! What a backward establishment! “It’s disgusting; we’re in the

21st Century now. People are free to love who they want, gender, race or religion should no longer be boundaries!” Annison also confirmed that the possibility of a kiss-in “would be amazing!” “I’m going to go in there with all my female friends and we’ll start getting off and see what they say!” She added: “We’re spearheading the Goodricke Access campaign to help improve disabled access into clubs, so I don’t see why we can’t make clubs accessible to everyone in terms of love.” But it’s not only students that are getting involved. Tokyo Manager Adele Lord told Vision:

“These people shouldn’t be allowed in our venues: it’s absolutely disgraceful.” Lord also reminded students that there was a direct link to her if customers wanted to report an incident to her. “Obviously the best thing to do is to come and say it straight away, and try and find out who they are.” “Even if they don’t’ feel comfortable to come and speak to me on the night when I’m there, just email me and let me know about it straight away so I can deal with it and get descriptions of people.” She added: “We do operate via York pub watch, a scheme across the city and we meet at least once every other month, and people

we don’t want in our pubs and clubs for whatever reason for violence or hate crime or aggression toward our staff, we take those in to the pub watch and it votes on whether to bar those people from our venues, and in fact…if someone acted like that in Revolution we’d ban them in the whole city. It’s very important that it’s brought to our attention.” If anybody has suffered from a similar incident, students are reminded to contact North Yorkshire Police and report any acts of homophobia, transphobia or sexual harassment as a hate crime on 999.

@imleonmorris

6 NEWS

YORK VISION

UNI CREATES CASH FOR YORK

UNIVERSITIES in York have helped the local economy to boom, according to recent figures unearthed by the York Press. The university has helped contribute £5 billion to the regional economy in 2011-2012, and helped create 62,000 jobs. The University along with its Science Park generated a £380m income gain in York alone. One third year student commented; “I think it is great that we now have proof that students contribute to the local area, not just in terms of cash but also in terms of volunteering and giving back to the City of York. “We have a bad name, as locals only tend to hear about the

BY HELENA HORTON noise we make and the fact that some of us occasionally vom outside Salvo on a Wednesday night. Big up York students!” We bested rival Uni York St John, which by comparison contributed a measley £55m, and £19m of this was from their students splashing their cash in the City Centre.

“SO MUCH GOOSE SH*T!”

THERE ARE plans for boating opportunities on Hes East, Vision discovered in exclusive talks with David Duncan. The University Registrar told Vision that the lake will be cleaned and a jetty will be built for boating, with a number of watersports to be made avaliable for students. The plans coincide with a hotel and a supermarket. Duncan commented; “we are considering allowing limited canoeing, boating and wind surfing at the east end of the lake. “As a first step, we will need to build a small jetty. We will aim to finalise the way forward in the coming weeks.” He also revealed that similar plans cannot be made for Hes West because of “all the goose shit.”

Tuesday April 29, 2014

DISABLED ST

“MY DE UNDER

>> GOVERNMENT TO >> OFFER: “ABSOLUT >> TRON: “EXTREMEL CUTS TO the Disabled Students’ Allowance will leave some students “with nothing”, YUSU Welfare Officer George Offer has warned. In a statement, the students’ union welfare representative expressed deep concern for the future of funding for DSA students – and he blasted the methodology the Universities Minister David Willetts’ used in his decision as “absolute bollocks”. “His announcement provides an uncomfortable rhetoric that seeks to assure us that those “most in need” will receive help, that support for “the most specialist” help will be provided, and that these cuts “ensure DSAs provide support where it is needed the most”, which only deepens my concern that the great many students who need some support will get none at all,” he said.

“While efforts are refocused on those most in need, most of those in need will be left with nothing.” Earlier this month, the universities’ boss announced that the non-repayable grants for disabled students to help them through higher education would be slashed in a review of the system that has not been done for 25 years. Funding will no longer cover computers, warranties or insurances – but those students with complex disabilities will be protected. In a statement earlier this month, David Willetts said that he was looking for universities “to play their role” in support for students with mild difficulties. “The proposals outlined below look to rebalance responsibilities between government funding and institutional support. We will look to HEIs to play their role in sup-

YORK VISION

NEWS

Tuesday April 29, 2014

TUDENTS “CONCERNED” BY CUTS

EGREE IS R THREAT”

CUT “VITAL” SERVICES TE BOLLOCKS!” LY CONCERNED”

DAVID W

BY porting students with mild difficulties, as part of their duties to provide reasonable adjustments under the Equality Act,” he said. “These are partly anticipatory duties and we expect HEIs to introduce changes which can further reduce reliance on DSAs and help mainstream support. We will be consulting with specialists in the sector to ensure that Specific Learning Difficulties (SpLD) students understand the type of support they can expect to receive and who will provide it.” Nationally, more than 53,000 undergraduates and postgraduates claimed the cash in 2011 to 2012. The number who do so at York is not known. At the weekend, the disability and access welfare representative for Vanbrugh College, Naomi Barrow, said the changes could lead to some students dropping out.

“DSA allows disabled students to experience university at the same level as their peers. The support provided by this fund is vital in helping disabled students reach their potential,” she said. “I worry that without this support, disabled students will be at a significant disadvantage compared to their peers and will not be able to make the most out of their university experience, which could lead to them dropping out.” Union President Kallum Taylor was disappointed: “This comes back to the same old problem you get with this government; equality of opportunity and access is a given, provided it can be afforded. “They clearly view DSA as a luxury, which is a disgrace in itself, as these cuts will slam a lot of doors shut in the faces of those who need it… Unless of course

individual institutions pick up the cost; which is great, but it’s not sustainable under the current funding system to keep passing on problems to institutions. “We’ll be getting onto our representatives in Parliament about this to see what they think, and we’ll give our Disabled Students’ Network the firepower and energy they need to spearhead a strong and constructive campaign against these cuts.” YUSU Disabled Students’ Officer Thomas Ron said: “Disabled Students Allowance has made a big difference and has allowed many students to achieve their potential. I am very confused and extremely concerned that such an allowance would be cut like this. Additionally, the fact that some students may see themselves without assistive technology is frankly alarming.

ILLETTS,

O C C U PA TION: U NIVERS HOBBIE ITIES M S: SLAS INISTER HING V I TA L S E RVICES

JACK GEVERTZ

“For one, if I was told that I had to go through university without assistive technology I would be in serious trouble. For many students computers are not a luxury, they are a necessity, allowing them the ability to perform in university. These cuts are very worrisome.” A spokesperson for the University said: “We await further developments on the detail of the changes to DSA but our Disability Service is considering the impacts on current and future students. “Students currently in receipt of DSA at York should be aware of the 60 ‘York Masters Opportunities Scholarships’ which are taught Masters scholarships worth £10,000 each to students liable to pay fees at the home rate entering in 2014. One of the criteria for the scholarships is students who receive DSA.”

Callum Dziedzic told Vision: “They’re using the word “modernisation” to hide the fact they’re making cuts – without my DSA allowances I don’t think I’d be able to live in the halls I’m in now, and it would also have a detrimental effect on my preparation for exams and assessment, if I were to lose my note-taking support and practical enabler for things like filming projects as part of my course. “They need to think long and hard about the long term affect this will have on future disabled students’ plans on actually attending university as for some, receiving DSA support will be a complete deal breaker.” If you have concerns on whether you will be affected by the changes, you can talk to your college welfare team or email Mel Fox in YUSU at m.fox@yusu.org.

YORK VISION

NEWS

Tuesday April 29, 2014

Vision's Helena Horton takes a look at protests at other Universities, misogyny in The Tab and their monopoly on student media.

Student Press Students across the country have been protesting about the unfair treatment of fractional staff on zero hours contracts at their Universities. This campaign is centered around one which began at SOAS – the Justice for Cleaners Campaign. The SOAS Shade reported an occupation which took place at the University – a room was occupied, rubbish was poured outside the Vice Chancellor’s office and confidential documents were copied before a popular picket the next day. The cleaners have subsequently won sick pay, and holiday pay because of this campaign. The documents which were copied could add to the documents taken by a similar band of activists earlier this year at the University of London – the contents of which made it into the London Student and then the Guardian. Unison were basically in talks with University management to screw over their Union members and stop the protests. Here at York, we don’t have the same problems with fractional pay. Cleaners and Caterers at the University of York are all paid well above the Living Wage, according to University Registrar David Duncan. Perhaps other Universities can learn from our example. The Tab Exeter has been under scrutiny by feminists – and our very own Lemon Press – after publishing an ‘open letter’ to women who were innocently walking to the gym, daring to wear sports leggings. They remarked upon the buttocks of said women and thanked them for their attire, helpfully illustrating with photographs of disembodied buttocks. Hey, Vision may be slightly sensationalist at times, but at least we aren’t The Tab. Students around the country, at Universities from St Andrews to Birmingham to Oxford, have complained about the Tab’s monopoly on student media. It is a bad parody of a tabloid, riddled with ignorance. Want a good example of a tabloid? Look at Vision!

LIB DEMNED BY HELENA HORTON STUDENTS AT the University will predominantly vote for the Lib Dems in 2015, Vision can reveal, after a poll showed that 35 per cent of students will vote for Nick Clegg’s party. Despite having one of the largest Conservative societies in the UK, only 13 per cent said that they would vote for the Conservatives, and 4 per cent said that they would vote for UKIP. Left-wing parties had more votes than right-wing parties, with 14 per cent saying they would vote Green whilst 24 per cent said that they would vote Labour. This comes as a surprise to some, after students from the University of York joined the TUC in a demonstration against the Lib Dem conference last June. Megan Ollerhead, exchair of the University of York Socialist Society said: “The fact that just over a third of students would vote Lib Dem is worrying and points to either a collective false consciousness about how bad they really are, or a lot of young people with very short memories.”

‘IT’S MODEST’

MANAGEMENT DEFENDS VC’S INCREASED PAY BY HELENA HORTON STUDENTS HAVE slammed the idea, put forward by University top bosses, that the Vice Chancellor’s salary is ‘modest’. University registrar David Duncan defended the 1.7 per cent rise in salary over a year for the Vice Chancellor by pointing out that it is ‘modest’ compared to the half a mill salary of Craig Calhoun, the VC of LSE, and the £400,000 earned by the VC of the University of Birmingham. In comparison Lamberts, according to latest figures, earns closer to quarter of a mill at £236k per annum. This is over seven times the average pay for a lecturer in the UK, and fifteen times the pay of those on the Living Wage. It’s also almost double what David Cameron earns! Vision can reveal that the University of York is ‘PROUD’ to pay its lowest paid staff 1/15th of what it pays its Vice Chancellor. Angered third year George Hughes, commented; “If quarter of a million is modest, then

by their very definition, what are they paying their lecturers? Lecturers teach us, contribute research to the university, host office hours for us, run our colleges and help us with our degrees, what does the VC even do?” Al Riddell, station manager of URY and third year student commented; “After a tiring year of popping champagne and schmoozing the rich, 236k is the bare minimum I’d expect. Seriously though, the whole situation stinks like a plate of Koen’s caviar.” The Editor of The Lemon Press, Sophie Gadd, was less than impressed with the University’s response and commented; “His salary is almost ten times the UK average yearly wage. I’d hardly call that modest.” Staff from the University of York have been participating in strikes – although we have one of the lowest turnouts for industrial action in the country, at 4 per cent – because of their docked pay, and will be announcing whether the marking boycott will take place shortly, after discussions between UCU and University Management.

WHAT VISION COULD BUY WITH VC’S SALARY:

>> 3,025 tubs of beluga caviar >> 2,165 bottles of Dom Perignon >> Beyonce tickets for the whole of Derwent and James >> 15 top quality 1 carat diamonds >> Pay 7 lecturers for a year >> Pay 15 workers the living wage for a year

FUNDING BOOM! BY LEON MORRIS

THE UNIVERSITY has sparked anger as dodgy weapons funding has found its way into the university’s money pot. The university received just under 50k from atomic weapons developer Atomic Weapons Establishment (AWE), over the last three years. But university officials have denied that the University has received this funding.

University Registrar David Duncan said: ““We do not have any active research projects for AWE, though we have done work for them in the past. “All academics are required to consider whether initiatives they are engaged in (whether research or not) might have ethical dimensions which require further scrutiny or consideration. These are then referred to depart-

mental ethics committees for peer review. “The departmental committees include lay membership. Where necessary, projects are referred on to the University Ethics Committee, which reports to Council. “Of course, views will differ over whether it is ethical for the UK to maintain a nuclear deterrent or for University staff to support the maintenance of the

deterrent. “I am not aware of any recent debates about this at the University Ethics Committee.” A second year PPE student said he was ‘outraged’ and told Vision: “I think it’s horrific that we’re accepting money from weapons development countrys. I can’t accept any defence from the university concerning this revelation.”

NEWS

YORK VISION

Tuesday April 29, 2014

BOYCOTT TO BE ANNOUNCED ‘SOMETIME IN MAY’

SWAN LAKE

BY ANGUS QUINN

CAMPUS’ RARE and last remaining Black Swan has given birth to two cygnets. The adult female, who lost her mate in February this year, was sited on campus with two cygnets sporting juvenile grey feathers. Last spring the University’s Black Swans had three cygnets and were seen multiple times on the lake. However, those cygnets vanished without trace and are presumed dead with speculation that the fish in the lake could be responsible. Prior to their disappearance, the adolescent black swan cygnets had been regular fixtures on popular Facebook page ‘Duck of the Day’. The father of the cygnets has yet to be identified.

STUDENTS LEFT IN BOYCOTT LIMBO

BY HELENA HORTON WORRIED STUDENTS are left in limbo yet again after University Management has confirmed that UCU are still in talks with Management about whether a boycott on marking will be taking place. The boycott has been organised by UCU, the University and College Union, because they are unsatisfied with the most recent negotiations, which still cut lecturers’ average pay by 13% in real terms, accord-

ing to recent figures from the UCU website. However, negotiations are still taking place, according to University Registrar David Duncan, who is hopeful that the forthcoming industrial action will not occur. He commented; “The threatened industrial action is the latest phase in a long-running national dispute over the 2013 pay settlement. York has long supported the resumption of national talks to try to agree a settlement. “We are pleased that the Em-

ployers’ Association has now made an above-inflation offer for 2014 and are hopeful that this will lead to an early settlement with no further disruption for students.” He estimated that students will find out whether the work that they do this term will be marked by the beginning of May. UCU aim to “minimize” the effect that the boycott will have on students, if it does take place. They commented; “UCU is in dispute with university employers over staff pay and the boycott is

part of our lawful industrial action. This is not a decision we have taken lightly.” “Our members don’t want to take any action which damages the interests of students. We work hard to minimize the impact on students of any action we take. “But six separate strikes have failed to bring the employers back to the table for serious negotiations over pay. Therefore, we believe that we have been left with no alternative but to resort to a marking boycott; our ultimate sanction.”

THE VOICE

SPACE GAINS BY ADRIAN HORAN THIS YEAR’S Space Apps competition announced two teams as its victors, claiming three awards between them. ‘What’s Up?’ scooped up two of the awards, ‘Best Use of Data’ and ‘People’s Choice’, with ‘What’s Next?’ claiming the final ‘Best Mission Concept’. The news was announced by head judge Gav Winter via Twitter: “Well done WhatsUp & WhatsNext winning @SpaceAppsYork #spaceapps. Great comp & talented people.” The ‘What’s Up?’ team created a website “which allows users to subscribe to daily updates and watch live feeds about various night sky events visible to the naked eye”, whilst ‘What’s Next?’ devised “a one stop resource, providing information on all exploratory missions to other planets and objects in the solar system.”

IT’S SOMETHING most of us have thought – whether it’s because of a supermarket tannoy or because of a telephone call: “Hey, that voice sounds familiar.” And now that same thinking will hit hundreds of students again – or at least those who don’t read this report – as the new sound on-board the Arriva bus services is announced. Third-year student George Hughes poses for a snap alongside YUSU Sports President Cassandra Brown and YUSU President Kallum Taylor outside the stu-

JACK GEVERTZ

dents’ union offices after he is officially unveiled as the new voice of the transport network between York and Selby. The PPE undergraduate, who shot to campus fame after sparking a debate about the bollards on Heslington Road last year, will help customers find their destinations on board a swathe of Arriva bus services with sentences like: “This is the Number 42 service to…” and “The next stop is…”. Mr Hughes, who recorded his lines in the URY studios, hailed it as a “great op-

portunity”. He told Vision: “I’m very much looking forward to sitting on buses and naming random stops to confuse people.” Kallum Taylor added: “Arriva approached us and the University early in the New Year with the intention of operating a more student friendly service. One of the ideas they had was to have a student be the ‘voice’ of their new system which announces stops along the route of their buses. I knew that George would be well up for this. He’ll be famous across the A19 now with locals and students alike.”

10NEWS

YORK VISION Tuesday April 29, 2014

NO LIMO FOR LAMBERTS ON THE MOOVE Cow on Earth?!

Moove along... nothing to see here...

BAFFLED security officials were left amoosed over the Easter weekend – after dealing with a stray cow on campus. The black beast, whose owner is unknown, caused chaos as it broke free from its compound on Easter Monday. A snap of the unique

incident, uploaded by the security team to their 265 followers, shows an official armed with a stick as they attempt to herd the cattle who is happily snacking on grass. A University of York tweet said: “One of the more unique jobs we’ve had #cattleherder.”

NEW VC WALKS TO HES EAST NEW Vice-Chancellor Koen Lamberts spent nothing getting to his first official college visit – and it was on Heslington East. Expenses saint Lamberts, who took up his role at the start of the year, visited Langwith on Thursday for his first official college visit since taking office. But rather than use any personal assistants or a chauffeur-driven car to get to the Heslington East campus college, the vice-chancellor decided to walk from Heslington Hall and back again. In 2010, former Vice-Chancellor Brian Cantor sparked outrage after it emerged he had conducted most of his domestic travel by private chauffeur costing the university more than £37,000. A Vision investigation, which covered August 2006 to July 2010, found that Cantor, now vice-chancellor at the University of Bradford, spent around £141 on a transfer to the Heslington East campus from Heslington West. At that time, a spokesperson said the use of a hired car and driver for some business trips allowed the Vice-Chancellor to “make best use of his time and to continue working between meetings.” But the use of expenses by Mr Cantor angered some students who offered to take him themselves to Heslington East for a “tenner”. Last week, a spokesperson for

the University denied that Brian Cantor had spent £141 on a Heslington East transfer. They added: “On one occasion, the last VC hired a vehicle to take a group of businesspeople round Heslington East (when it was still under construction) to interest them in business development opportunities.”

Lamberts... frugal The new Vice-Chancellor was taken on a guided tour of Langwith College, which was moved to Heslington East in 2012, where he expressed support for York’s collegiate system. “I think colleges are essential, especially as the university grows,” he said. Mr Lamberts was also keen to understand how colleges can better support their students and was impressed with Langwith’s plans for a summer community festival. College President Symone Thompson said: “It was a pleasure to host the new VC.”

YORK VISION “An invaluable friend and voice for our people” - Free West Papua Campaign

ELECTIONS TONIGHT: P/X/001 7PM JOIN ANY OF OUR SECTIONS: News, Comment, Features, Lifestyle, Sport, Scene: Music, Stage, Film, TV, Books, Tech Whichever interests you, email: vision@yusu.org

YORK VISION

NEWS

Tuesday April 29, 2014

YORK VISION EXCLUSIVE

ALMOST HALF WILL VOTE NO TO NUS IN A marked decrease in support for the NUS, York students have given a damning verdict in a recent survey that asked whether we should maintain our affiliation to the NUS. When asked ‘Should YUSU disaffiliate itself from the NUS?’, almost half voted yes to the decision. According to former politics and economics student Alan Belmore, “only four students have a vote at the NUS conference, which decides its policies, aims and leaders”, indicating a lack of representation from the university itself. Despite the widespread frustration at our lack of representation, the NUS can still claim majority support at the University of York, with many students unprepared to forgo their discounts on ASOS and Spotify. But, as Benjamin Dilks, a former York chair of the NUS LGBT conference testifies, the NUS is far more than just an institutional discount and “countless students” can testify to NUS support on matters of “gender, race, disability or sexuality”. The NUS champions itself on its ability to represent students of all backgrounds, but has come under increasing criticism for its electoral process which many students feel is undemocratic. Beth Gregory of Cardiff University says “the NUS’s President is voted in by a minority of the millions of students

NEWS FEATURE BY GEORGE DABBY

across the UK”. She believes instead that the money spent on NUS membership should be redirected towards underfunded clubs and societies. Similar complaints have been aired at the University of York, where reduced grants have become a common occurrence for people trying to set up new societies. It is difficult to gauge at this dents across the UK”.

KALLUM TAYLOR

BEFORE I make my case, it’s worth me reassuring students that I’m not someone who’ll always fly the flag for the NUS as some kind of Holy Grail for the representation of students in the UK. Those who do that are either trying too hard to impress certain types, or having a bit of a laugh. However I’m also not someone who’ll pick out a few things which I personally disagree with, which the NUS might have done, as a means to argue for YUSU to completely leave it. In any member-led and (sort of) democratic organisation with

over 7 million members, through over 600 Students’ Unions, it’s always going to be a given that you’re not always going to get exactly what you want. If, for the most part, you and your union get more of a benefit than a loss from being in the NUS, then it’s well worth taking the few spikey concerns on the chin. Some critics bring up the fact that YUSU have to pay the NUS for our membership… True, but what they almost always tend to leave out though is that this is a fee worth paying! In the last financial year, YUSU’s affiliation fee was £40,356 and the return on

It is difficult to gauge at this students’ agenda, sharing a popstage whether the NUS are being ular view that interests between targeted for their and the NUS are too ez US Prgovernment ...Nfailings arceown ni Pe To or those of the current govern- mutual ment. Chicken or the egg, stuNUS President, Toni Pearce, dents are in no doubt that rela- has responded to these crititions between the government cisms by promising to make the and NUS are too cosy. Harry NUS “more representative than Cunningham of Loughborough we’ve ever been”. Her efforts in believes that “extremists and doing so will dictate whether politicians hijacking the NUS other student unions follow conference” have overrun the Southampton’s example or not.

E-U SHOULD VOTE BY HELENA HORTON

YUSU OFFICERS is urging students to sign up to vote in the EU elections this month. YUSU are also hosting an EU debate on the 6th May to inspire people to vote, including representatives from Labour, the Conservatives, the Lib Dems, the Green Party and UKIP. This is free, and open to all. Questions for the candidates can be tweeted to @yorkunisu. Taylor commented; “In any case it’s important that people utilise their vote to try and steer politics in a direction that better represents them – but with young people this is almost more important as we’re really lagging behind in terms of how many of us are registered, and how many of us vote. With the voting system being as it is for EU elections, there’s every chance that even a half-mobilised student turnout could have a serious impact on who gets a seat as an MEP! Last time around in this region, there was just 1.3% between the BNP candidate getting elected and the Green Party candidate missing out – which shows how much some decent organising could swing it. Hopefully extremists of that type won’t get anywhere near Brussels this time around.” You can register to vote at www.aboutmyvote.co.uk or use the YUSU facilities detailed above.

WHY I’M VOTING TO STAY IN NUS

that was £69,327. That’s a quite hefty £29k extra coming through to YUSU via NUS card sales, Green Impact payments, rebates and the massive discounts gained by YUSU Commercial Services (that’s Your Shop, the Courtyard, the Lounge, the Kitchen and the Glasshouse) for being part of the NUS’ Collective Buying Group, NUSSL. Therefore, the financial case to remain in the NUS is clear and strong… The political one though is, naturally, much more complicated. They’ve won some battles and lost some battles, and at times it’s frustrating, but they are

representing the will of its member Unions. This year we tried to change their voting system, so that every student in the country could vote for their National President, instead of the current – and massively flawed – delegate system. Sadly, through a series of overruns, agenda shuffling, and a suspiciously tactical Chairing of Sessions, we were unable to have that debate. Next year, I hope that the YUSU President-elect Sam takes that idea back to National Conference with him, with even more support behind him than we

had this year. It’s vital for NUS’ long term relevance in the eyes of students, and also to secure their long term political capital, that they properly empower that 7 million strong membership I mentioned at the beginning of this piece. We can only do that though if we stay in. The financial arguments are strong. The political ones are acceptable. Overall, it’s well worth being part of, and well worth working to make it even stronger! That’s why in weeks 7/8 this term I’ll be voting to keep YUSU IN the NUS.

12 NEWS KALLUM’S ANGELS BY ANGUS QUINN KALLUM TAYLOR has launched a night patrol scheme in York following a recent river safety summit. ‘Night Safe’ will be a free service to help students, relieve strain on emergency services and combat alcohol fuelled crime, anti-social behaviour and hospital admissions. Taylor told Vision: “We’re delighted that we’ve received the core funding necessary to properly kickstart NightSafe off as we’ve planned.” Volunteers will be equipped with an arsenal to support student on nights out including flip-flops, Mars Bars and lollies. Jackets and rucksacks will be orange to establish a link to Street Angels of York. The patrols will be run on Wednesdays and Sundays as these are the YUSU club nights with the highest number of alcoholrelated incidents. Nightly briefings will be given relevant to specific conditions on the evening of the patrols, including hazards such as river flooding.

Prez Taylor... Chuffed ‘Night Safe’ volunteers will aim to counter the vulnerability of students during nights-out in town. Support will range from providing hot drinks and giving directions, to providing basic first aid to low-level injuries that do not require medical attention and offering ‘active listening’ to those in distress. Taylor added: “This will be both a helpful service to the YUSU club night scene, and also a fantastic developmental opportunity for the students we have leading it forward.” Volunteers will travel in groups of three, with two volunteers to intervene and one more to stand back and ‘observe’ – a policy trail-blazed by Street Angels of York. Transport could be provided and paid for by YUSU and University Travel & Transport.

YORK VISION

SUCH A-TOSSER

Tuesday April 29, 2014

NEW SCIENCE FACILITIES

UNVEILED: NEW OUTREACH CENTRE

YORK’S SCIENCE Outreach Centre will officially be unveiled on May 14th in an effort to boost scientific interest among the wider community. The University’s latest facility, known as YSOC, is located in Heslington West’s Chemistry Department, and contains state of the art, high-capacity laboratory spaces, as well as analysis labs and preparation rooms. YSOC will also be available for use by local primary

BY JAMES PASCOE and secondary schools, as well as members of the public. The management team, chaired by Professor Sir John Holman, hope that the new facilities will allow York’s science, technology, engineering and mathematics departments to flourish and display the fruits of their research. Jane Grenville, Deputy Vice-Chancellor at York, said: “Our founding Vice-

Chancellor, Lord James, used to say ‘Send me your brightest and your best’. “We still aspire to that, but those students do not all have the same chances. “The facility aims to level the playing field by encouraging those students who belong to the category of ‘most able, less likely’ to get the lab experience and the qualifications they need to go on to top flight universities such as York.”

BY HELENA HORTON

YUSU HAS proposed the removal of ATOS from campus, after exclusive information was given to Vision by members of the Students’ Union. ATOS, the company which performs Work Capability Assessments for the Government, has been slammed by the Union for being “far too tough” and “not fit for purpose”. There have also been allegations that people have died after being sent back to work by ATOS. Because of the student impact of having ATOS, a firm which “regularly recruits top graduates” on campus, YUSU has decided that it should “lobby against the presence of ATOS on campus, including at Careers’ fairs”. One of the reasons stated was that “Disabled students… may be distressed by the presence of ATOS”. One disabled student commented; “I wish the University would stand by me and other disabled students instead of trying to milk money out of the disgusting company, ATOS which persecutes people like me.” YUSU Disabled Student’s Officer, Thomas Ron, added; “They are a company that has had a terrible effect on disabled people, student or otherwise and has even been responsible for the deaths of some people. They often recruit at universities but the welfare issues and the effect they will have on disabled students would make it deeply irresponsible to allow them on campus.”

YU BUS BE TRIPPIN’ UNIBUS TO GIVE BACK LEFTOVER CASH AT END OF YEAR

BY HELENA HORTON THIRD YEAR students will be able to get money back from Unibus Tripper cards at the end of this term. YUSU have announced that they will buy back any journeys on the card at a set price of 50p per trip. RAG will benefit from the initiative, as a donation will be made to them from the end of year

surplus. This deal also applies to International students who are leaving in September, who will be able to buy back their trips on the 27th August at Wentworth college. YUSU President Kallum Taylor commented; “More and more students are now using the Unibus Tripper

TWEETS OF THE WEEK

Frank Flight @FrankFlight “@UoYLibrary It’s absolutely boiling in here, pleassssee can you turn the heating down. The girl next to me had sweat patches #steamy”

Cards, and it’s likely that many will finish here having not used all of the journeys they’ve purchased.

Jo Barrow @JoBarrow “York is great because it’s 20 degrees and there’s a chocolate festival on today. York is crap because I am stuck inside writing an essay.”

Harry Whittaker @HADWhittaker “The terror is beginning to set in as the campus wildfowl babies are just beginning to think about hatching.”

Now they’ll be able to get money back on those. This new initiative reflects the incredibly student focused service offered to us by TransDev and the University’s Transport team.” Kate Elliot, ex-YUSU RAG Officer told Vision: “We’re thrilled to hear that unibus are supporting RAG this year and are really grateful. The more reason to support Unibus!”

YUSU Bars @YUSUBars “Our favourite customers of the day so far: the guys that bought jagerbombs at 12:15. Have a beautiful day guys.”

YORK VISION

COMMENT

Tuesday April 29, 2014

COMMENT

www.yorkvision.co.uk/comment comment@yorkvision.co.uk

BERCOW, BELLOWING & BRITAIN THE SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE OF COMMONS IS TALKING SOME SENSE INTO BRITISH POLITICS LIZZY ROBERTS @lizzyroberts93

or those of you who don’t know me personally, let me introduce myself – I’m Lizzy and I’m a bit political. In fact, I’m ‘that person’ who likes to have BBC Parliament on in the background when my housemates aren’t around. I love being involved in politics, I’ll freely admit that I find it hard to not relate just about anything back to it and I’m always up for a debate (just don’t ask me about the rise of UKIP after 2-for-1 cocktails in Dusk). What irks me though, what really makes me feel angry, is when I see the debacle of the House of Commons debates that go on sometimes, and I think that the Speaker, Rt Hon John Bercow MP, is finally talking some sense into British politics. Bercow told the BBC that “it was worrying that members from both sides of the House ‘with a lot to contribute’ were put off attending the weekly session.” The reason? Well, it it’s clear to anyone who does the washing up to the sound of PMQs or likes live-tweeting budget announcements – the rowdy debacle that British politicians call ‘a debate’. It’s plain to see that the

CALLUM SHANNON

I want to see change in Westminster in the way politicians approach a debate I know that I’ve found it hard to keep my cool sometimes in a political debate. It’s difficult to hear sit and listen to somebody sell you an idea you fundamentally disagree with, or be told that something you’re really passionate about isn’t right. I’ve had many a heated discussion with fellow political societies on campus whilst on panels or even just on nights out, so I can fully understand why debates between MPs get so heated; there’s hundreds of important people sitting in one room all thinking the same thing - that they’re right. What I mean is that arguments (especially in the political sphere) are inevitable, what I hate though is the ridiculous extremes of Parliamentary debate that Bercow has rightly

compared to as “yobbery and public school twittishness”. Sometimes it’s funny to hear Bercow tell an MP to “take up yoga” instead of getting het up during budget announcements or tell Mr Gove to “write lines” for being too excitable during PMQs. What shouldn’t be forgotten however is the underlying message that this loud, rowdy style of politics sends out. In a digital age where anyone with a Freeview TV or Internet access can see how the cherished system of democracy really works in Britain, perhaps MPs need to think about reigning in their tempers a little more and taking a little of their traditional witticism out of their retorts. What does jeering “here here” and shouting en masse to a lone person standing up and expressing their opinion say to the aspiring young person watching an online streaming of a debate they care about? What does it say to older generations worrying about life in the next few decades when all they see on TV is a clever comeback to score some laughter in the back benches? Politicians need to start realising that they’re scrutinised now more than ever before – what sort of message do they want to send to the watching world? Bercow mentions in his interview to the BBC that he worries female MPs are perturbed by the raucous nature of PMQ debates. Labour MP for Rotherham Sarah

Champion said that “braying and screaming” make it feel harder to hold the government to account. As someone used to defending my political party and my own personal views, I’m not so sure the fact that I’m a woman would really come into whether I’d like the style of debate or not (sorry Mr Speaker) but I’m also not used to being screamed at by hundreds of people on live TV and I think a lot of less-seasoned politicians would find current debate styles offputting, intimidating and disheartening to say the least.

separated in the UK, none of us are under any obligation to follow the state religion. This article is being written by an unbaptized atheist. In politics too, regardless of what Mr Cameron thinks, there is no obligation to promote Christianity. MPs, who once had to swear an oath on the bible are now given an option of a god free oath instead. Indeed, keeping religion and politics separate seems to be the wisest idea.

ligion-neutral law is the best way to maintain the secular society that we currently live in. But I’d argue we should go further. In the United States, church and state are completely separate entities, an arrangement ensured by the constitution, yet religion plays a much greater role in their society, with only 15% of the population claiming to be non-religious. The US is far more of a Christian country than the UK, despite not having an official state religion. Could a similar separation of state and church work over here? One thing is for sure, it wouldn’t make us any less of a culturally Christian country. You can’t change thousands of years of political and cultural history overnight. We would still celebrate Christmas, marry in churches and have our children baptized. In our day to day lives, essentially nothing would change. However, separating church and state in the UK could be wise planning for the future. With the rise of minority religions like Islam and Catholicism, as well as atheism, the Church of England may find it plays a lesser role in our lives as time goes by. Additionally, removing Bishops from the House of Lords would be an important first step to reforming the currently totally unelected chamber. The process of religious change is slow and can be messy, but with this, as with many other things, it would be wise to move with the current rather than against it.

Politicians are scrutinised more than ever before I want to see change in Westminster in the way politicians approach a debate. I believe politics is fuelled by passion and there’s no denying the fact that a Parliamentary debate isn’t the same as your average workplace disagreement – speaking with vigour and a sense of energy is what every MP should aim for. Westminster and politicians need to prove they’re changing for the better, more equal and diverse, but they can’t do that unless they shake off the image of politics being a testosteronefuelled-boys-club by making debate more accessible and less of a tradition based jeering circus.

CHRISTIAN CAMERON CULTURAL IMPORTANCE SHOULD NOT BE MISTAKEN FOR POLITICAL RELEVANCE

@Callum_Shannon

way in which British politicians conduct themselves on television is pretty unruly at times of great interest. The problem is that with greater access to democracy, politicians aren’t thinking about the consequences this has upon the British people who can see their conduct during debates – as well as repelling some MPs from even turning up to these sessions.

eligion is one thing that really separates the politics of the United Kingdom from the politics of the United States. Go around almost anywhere on this side of the Atlantic electioneering like your average bible-bashing Republican, claiming God told you to run for leader of the free world and how your carbon emissions tax policy is exactly what Jesus would have wanted and you’d be laughed off the campaign platform. Alistair Campbell once famously said “we don’t do god” in reference to Labour’s position on religion, to keep Tony Blair’s above averagely pious views private. With the exception of highly divided Northern Ireland’s more militant parties and when George Galloway decides to make it an issue, religion always seems to be left out of British politics. Perhaps that was why everybody seemed so surprised then, when Prime Minister David Cameron said in an interview for the Church Times that as a Christian nation, we should stand up for our religion more. Both halves of this statement have caused controversy, with public figures from sen-

ior clergymen accusing the Prime Minister of hypocrisy over his “unchristian welfare reforms” to people like Sir Terry Pratchett attacking the notion that the UK is a Christian country altogether. Many more people have expressed their concerns that the Prime Minister’s new found faith may do more to harm his already fragile reputation than change the way the country feels about itself. To be honest, they’re probably right. It’s very rare I agree with anything the Prime Minister says, but on this occasion I’ll make an exception to some degree. In terms of what the Mr. Cameron said, I have no qualms with the first half of it: The United Kingdom is a Christian country. The Queen is both our head of state and head of the state religion (one of her titles is defender of the faith). Church of England Bishops sit in the House of Lords, a privileged not shared by any other religious groups. 59% of the population identifies as a Christian and even most of those who don’t marry in churches or have their children baptized. Our national holidays are based around Christianity. We are all, like it or not, rebel or not, children of a Christian Kingdom. However, it is important that we understand the difference between a Christian country and a Christian state. While we may have a state religion, the notion that we should stand up for it has absolutely no legs to stand on, being a secular, multicultural state. Although the church and state aren’t

It is important that we understand the difference between a Christian country and a Christian state As undeniable as the fact that Christianity is the UK’s state religion is the fact that minority religions and atheism is on the rise in the country, regardless of what the Conservative Christian Fellowship tell you. Between the 2001 and 2011 censuses, the number of people claiming to be Christian fell by almost 25%, while the number of Church of England members has halved since 1983. Whilst a slender majority of our population are still Christian, a sizable minority are not, and it goes without saying that all religious and non-religious groups should be treated equally under the law. Re-

14 COMMENT

YORK VISION’S VIEW

HOMOPHOBIA IS TAKEN TOO CASUALLY

oo often today homophobia is treated as a prejudice of yesterday - a bygone issue that’s as dead as the dodo. Sadly nothing could be further than the truth. Besides the sadly evident amalgamation of ‘gay’ as an insult, homophobia is swatted away as an irrelvance and something that shouldn’t concern anyone. Though there have been great legal strides, de facto discrimination continues and it’s deeply saddening that as a group of people students can still be treated horrifically on the basis of something as arbitrary as whom they choose to snog. It’s depressing as well that homophobia is dismissed so easily in comparison to other prejudices. ‘Gay’ can be bandied about as an insult and people can be slurred at, but were this a case of racism and the word ‘gay’ substituted for a racial slur the fact is the matter would be taken extremely significantly. The colloquial approach to homophobia has to end now.

THE VICE-CHANCELLOR SALARY IS A JOKE

YORK VISION Tuesday April 29, 2014

A ROYAL WHINGE WHY CAN’T OUR OBSESSION WITH THE MONARCHY BE KEPT BEHIND CLOSED DOORS TOM DAVIES

@ tomdavies111

very time I’ve caught the news this week article two or three has been the same thing. A series of shots of a prematurely balding but otherwise reasonably handsome man in his early 30s, his admittedly beautiful wife and their new-born son in a different former outpost of British imperialism smiling and being shown some sort of twee national pastime whilst proclaiming “oh isn’t that lovely, aren’t you all just lovely”. I know what you’re thinking. Yes, yes I do. You’re thinking “oh here we go again; some po-faced republican whinge bag is going to try and drain the fun out of enjoying our monarchy. Aren’t they just beautiful? Aren’t they just grand? Doesn’t it just make you retain your faith in true love?” Look I’m sorry ok, but it winds me up. It really does. It seems like people view the royals as if they were the stars of some sort of grand, never ending reality show. Something like Made in Chelsea meets The White Queen meets The Osbournes. Never mind the philosophical implications of their continuing status as dynastic, unelected, lifelong heads of state ordained, in theory, by god himself. Keep the monarchy, I know we’re going to, unless something pretty radical changes me and mine are never going to win. We just love them too much, they’re our darlings. There’s not even really a reason why. Why do people obsess about Brangelina? I sup-

ice Chancellor expenses are truly ridiculous. At a time when tuituion fees are astronomical and lecturers’ pay is being cut left, right and centre it’s dubious in the extreme. The Vice Chancellor’s salary should not be the priority for funds, but it should instead by teaching. Countless students already struggle with puny contact hours and there are a million and one better things for money to be spent on than financing the Vice Chancellor’s social life. The excuse that it’s less than what other Vice Chancellors earn on average is no defence for the enormous amount of money earned. It’s still galling at a time of recession that prominent figures feel absolutely no remorse and worse still that the best response to be found for the ridiculous salary is that it’s less than the average Vice Chancellor salary.

CHANGES TO THE DSA ARE OUT OF ORDER

uts crop up so often in the media today that it’s difficult to remember a time when the government wasn’t slashing and burning everything in the site in the name of economic prudence. It seems as though the government have somehow conceived of disabled student support as an extravagance rather than an obligation that quite literally changes quality of life for students. The University’s Minister might try and hide the cuts behind words like ‘rebalancing’, but clearing the mist thrown up around the cuts reveals a huge swathe of funding that will vanish overnight. Only students in need of ‘most specialist equipment’ will receive the help and support they need once the changes come into effect. Misleading wording like that disguises the fact that a million and one loopholes will enable the government to rob students of support that is necessary for their studies.

Photo Credit: Shitty Watercolour

pose people just like having other people to hold up and adore, imagining their lives as possessing everything they desire in their own. Or I dunno, whatever, probably.

Poor old Prince George, he doesn’t stand a chance But why must you thrust them in our faces all the time? The Royal Family, like dogs, are one of those things in Britain where the general consensus is, if you don’t like them you can just jolly well fuck off matey. The whole flaming country seems to be designed around the presumption that you want to see them, everywhere, all the time. What have they been doing this time? Well they’ve gone on holiday. No, actually it’s worse. They’ve “toured”. Which is basically translated to a kind of grand neocolonial sneer where the host countries are given a bit of notice to hide all their iPhones and adidas trainers in a closet somewhere, don the reed skirts and the face paint and put on a good old show for the descendants of the people who actively denied their right to national self-determination for the better part of two centuries. Anyway, they’ve done it from what I understand to show off the fact that they’ve successfully birthed a sprog to the former empire. This is quite an achievement of course, particularly since William’s marriage has finally added some fresh blood to the gene pool for the first time since the Diet of Worms. Poor old Prince George, he doesn’t stand a chance. Growing up preposterously privileged, constantly fawned over, always in the

spotlight, led to believe he has some sort of preordained superiority over others. In many ways he’s going to have essentially the same childhood as the one had by every bitchy, queen bee archetype from an American high school drama. You could even say that the only major difference Prince George and Regina George from Mean Girls (apart from being a woman, American and fictional of course) is that Regina George will never be the British head of state. I’m getting off message again. The simple fact of the matter is that we’re constantly setting double standards when it comes to the royals. Many of those who fail to raise an eyebrow at the level of coverage given to Kate, Wills and George’s glorified family holiday are the same people who bitch about the likes of OK! or Hello chronicling every painful detail of the wedding of some second rate reality TV star and a reserve member of the Canadian Olympic Ju-jitsu team. As a society we’re extremely quick to lambast people like Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton on the grounds of being famous for essentially nothing. But it’s perfectly ok as long as one of your relatives wears a crown professionally. So come on Britain, I implore you, let’s not do the debate about how much tourism the Monarchy brings in (you’re wrong) or how they’re great value for money really (not the point and you’re still wrong). Just please can we keep our national obsession with these people out of the serious news. Fawning over the minute details of the lives of famous people does have a place in our society, in trashy magazines. So let’s just keep it there. Or at least try and cut it down a bit. There’s always Tatler after all.

YORK VISION Tuesday April 29, 2014

COMMENT

SUPPORT STAFF

STATES RATES

WE MUST STAND IN SOLIDARITY WITH OUR TEACHING STAFF

HELENA HORTON

@helenashead

ince October last year, UCU, and some of our lecturers and other Uni staff members, have been in contact with the fat cats at University management about the shit way in which they are being treated. As pay rises for the big dogs escalate, pay for lecturers stagnates and does not rise in proportion to inflation.

We should stand against the Management who are lining their own pockets The new offer from management to UCU is a 12% decrease in pay over the last five years and our lecturers are rightly refusing (well, ours at York are currently in talks with management and the Union about the boycott) to mark our exam papers until they are treated fairly. It must have been pretty galling to see Brian Cantor cruising from one campus to the next in a limousine last year, amid drastic pay cuts. Our Vice Chancellors, who have made this cop-out offer, have seen their pay rise by an average of 5% this year alone. Raising the pay of a Vice Chancellor doesn’t get us a good VC, people. It gets us a rich one. Is a Vice Chancellor who ignores the pleas of their workers and takes pay rises whilst administering pay cuts, a good one?

Students should stop complaining about this boycott, which will be announced at the beginning of May, as we have a direct interest in supporting those who teach us, those who want to keep our education system and stop Universities becoming a money-making factory for those at the top. The attitude which bloats pay for management whilst cutting it and raising fees (yes, our fees) for the most important people at the Universitythose doing the learning, the research and the teaching- is the same attitude which lead to trebling our fees. We need to stop this culture of ignoring students and staff. Around the country, students have supported staff campaigns, with occupations, pickets and even borrowing confidential documents from the University of London to find out about the closure of ULU and how they are liaising with Unison to gag the Justice for Cleaners campaign. From the plight of outsourced cleaners on zero hours contracts to the cut in fees of lecturers, students all over the UK have stood by them and supported their fight. In York, there’s a different picture. Picket lines are sparse, and crossed, and people are more likely to complain about missing their seminar than the injustice done to those who take them. Students don’t care to learn why the staff are striking, or taking part in a boycott, and are part of the silent ‘apathetic’ majority who allow injustice to take place. It may be a minor inconvenience to you, if you have to wait longer to get your results, and that is worth sympathizing with, but in the long run, it’s worse if we start having a culture of cutting the pay of and increasing the fees for the people who make the University great. Don’t aim the anger at those who are

striking- they aren’t doing it lightly, as Management has threatened to cut 100% of the pay of those who take part, in order to stop the boycott- aim it at the people who have caused the strike. The people who are turning Universities into a place for the privileged, a place which doesn’t value the people who go there to teach, research and learn and a place which oppresses and silences those who protest. As stuffy and out-of-touch lecturers may seem sometimes, they are at least ostensibly working for us. They are accessible and can be held accountable, they aren’t stuck on chintz sofas in the ivory tower that is Hes Hall; if you need to have a go at a lecturer for being shit they at least have office hours and ways of contacting them. We can see them doing their job and it is a valuable one - what does Lamberts actually do?

Raising the pay of a Vice Chancellor doesn’t get us a good VC, people. It gets us a rich one So to conclude, we should be supporting the boycott if it does take place. We should be standing with our lecturers on the picket lines when they strike and we should not cross picket lines. We should stand against the Management who are lining their own pockets, and cutting the pay for the people without which they would have no Russell Group University to boast of. Our minor conveniences will pale in comparison if this fight is won.

DISCRIMI-NATION

EQUALITY MUST COME FROM EQUAL TREATMENT NOT POSITIVE DISCRIMINATION

ELIZA GKRITSI

@legreechee

hief Justice John Roberts has famously noted “The way to stop discrimination on the basis of race is to stop discriminating on the basis of race”. In accordance to with logic, the Supreme Court provided us with a controversial decision on April 22nd. In a 6-to-2 ruling, the Court upheld an amendment in Michigan’s State Constitution that banned affirmative action when it came to its public university admissions.

Those admitted because of their race are looked down upon and considered unworthy It is easy to condemn this decision as cruel and racist. It is easy to say that it will deny many Hispanics or African Americans the opportunity to see the classrooms of higher education. And all of that is probably, and sadly, true. But it misses the point. The reason why affirmative action is there in the first place is to ensure racial diversity in universities. A problem which it obviously and easily

solves. Racial diversity, however, is nothing but a buzzword for universities to use on their leaflets. It doesn’t mean much unless accompanied by other buzzwords, such as acceptance and respect. Words that have a real meaning to real people who struggle with racial discrimination every day. Affirmative action may get them through the door but it doesn’t make the indoors much friendlier. Those admitted because of their race are looked down upon and considered unworthy of attending. They have to prove themselves on a daily basis, even if they didn’t need their respective quota to grant them admission. This hinders the organic process of integration; it stigmatizes and divides. It gives the “criminally white” a good excuse to bully or dismiss minorities. More importantly, it defines racial identity as a criterion for intelligence or worth. When people are split into quotas according to their skin colour and those falling on the darker end of the spectrum are given an easier time, the message isn’t that of equality. It tells, both them and everyone else, that they need special treatment; they need to be propped up in order to achieve what the racial majority is achieving without any help. It entertains and perpetuates the idea that race is somehow linked to your skill set. Splitting up a country into blocs and treating them with respect to their race sounds a lot like what the Civil War fought to end. We need a new approach regarding race sensitivity. This isn’t the 1950s anymore.

There are people of all races in the US who are massively accomplished. Just look at Sonia Sotomayor, the Hispanic Justice in the Supreme Court. What we need is more of these people, whose success acts as proof that your race doesn’t matter. Things may be much better for the average person as well, but the lingering thought in the back of the “majority’s” head is still there. The image of a “Consuela” or a “Cleveland” that Seth McFarlane depicted is the little thing that causes big problems for racial minorities in the US. Simply put, minorities need a fair playing field to prove their being equal, not an unfair advantage that makes their background seem more important than their actual abilities and work.

Affirmative action is an out-dated measure, that hinders progress At the end of the day, if racial minorities don’t have the SAT scores of other student, that doesn’t speak of their falling behind but of a failing public school system. A system that isn’t capable of giving its all of its pupils the means to enter higher education. In my opinion, in a country where ethnic minorities are as common and populous as the US, affirmative action is an out-dated measure. A measure that now hinders progress since it promotes the notion that minorities need special treatment, when what they need is to be rid of labels.

MICHAEL COOPER

@MichaelCooper09

ositive discrimination towards students from poorer backgrounds is always a touchy issue. Recently however, the evidence towards offering lower entrance grades to pupils of lower performing school has been building. A report published by a government funded research group of over 100,000 students showed that students from state school backgrounds were up to 8% more likely to get a 2:1 or a first compared to their private school counterparts. Many have been using this as solid evidence that top Universities just give lower offers to students from less well off backgrounds. Personally I think this would be a positive step forward by Universities, we cannot go on pretending that 3 As from a comp with a large amount of students on free school meals and low performance on national league tables is equivalent to 3 As from a high performing private institution when it obviously isn’t. Of course bashing private school is a fairly easy thing to do in education, and one should not partake in it without good reason. I acknowledge that they are very good schools and that they produce brilliant results, but education isn’t all about results. Noam Chomsky once remarked that exam results were pretty low on his criteria for selecting postgraduate students. The out performance by state school students in higher education shows that there is more to succeeding at University than your A level grades, and the admission systems should reflect this. Now I understand that this feels like student would be cheated, they are promised that if they achieve a, b, c (well, more like AAA..) then they will get into a good University - it supposed to be a level playing field. But the point is it isn’t a level playing field to begin with, I accept it isn’t perfect and I would much rather that state schools achieved better but until this is a reality we must come up with a pragmatic alternative to level things out in the meantime. The ideal system would be if Universities interviewed people, luckily when I first applied to University I did have a few interviews and I found them really reassuring, it also gives the admissions tutors some solid evidence of your interest in the subject. Of course there is a cost involved but if Universities really wanted to get the best students surely this is a price worth paying? Ultimately I believe this system should not be used to push private school students out of the top Universities but to challenge their dominance. A few Universities in the Russell group already give lower offers to students from the worst 40% of schools and I would certainly be in favour of York doing so as well. I do not believe it should be the norm but I think we need to foster potential in our education system and remember that exams are not the be all and end all of education. This is not about punishing those that achieve but understanding that not all achievements are equal. If a student perhaps gets a few grades lower but they have a good personal statement and are enthusiastic about their subject then I believe that the University should give them an interview and consider rewarding them a place.

YORK VISION

COMMENT

DUCK OFF

ANGUS QUINN

@Angus_Quinn17

lot of animal phobias are easy to swallow. Spiders and snakes are among the most venomous creatures on the planet, wasps are aggressively territorial, Hollywood tells us sharks are out to eat us all and lions have very big teeth and claws. It’s only natural to be afraid of animals that pose a lethal threat to us or are bigger than us and have big teeth: those things are obviously a bit scary. What’s slightly more ludicrous is the fact that the water fowl of campus seem to hold everyone and everything to ransom. Despite being a seemingly intelligent collective, an awful lot of us seem unable to grapple with the fact that geese aren’t threatening and although it’s comical to see people reacting to the campus wildlife there does come a point where you have to ask if people are actually being serious. The mass Chinaphobia is more about myth than any reality. For whatever reason the same guff gets passed down year-afteryear about the seeming menace of the geese and people end up perpetuating it by actually being taken in by it. It’s entirely ridiculous. Firstly it’s staggering that people have genuinely been trapped in their accommodation blocks or buildings on campus by the small-feathered creatures that waddle around the place. These animals are in the grand scheme of the animal kingdom tiny. Granted, they have beaks, but that’s hardly a giant set of teeth ready to behead you at any moment, and instead of claws that might scratch you they have webbed feet that do a bad job of helping the ducks, geese and swans walk around campus without having any greater offensive capability.

Tuesday April 29, 2014

SHOULD FACEBOOK BE BANNED AT PEAK TIMES IN THE LIBRARY?

MORENIKE ADEBAYO

@MorenikeAdebay0

ike. Share. Refresh. The subconscious rolling mantra of the procrastinating student convinced that a swift just-five-minutes perusal of their Facebook newsfeed will be exactly that. Fifteen minutes later, perhaps a small twinge of guilt niggles at the mind. An hour passes and all thoughts of productively studying are washed out to sea by crashing waves of new holiday photos, BuzzFeed quiz results and yet another shared “You will never believe what happens next” piece. Trust me, you will believe it. After an extremely long walk onto campus and climbing that Mount Everest of library stairs, it is purely galling to see screen after screen after screen of slumped-over students scrolling that distinctive website. In one instance of my library travels, I saw a chap with his open laptop beside a library computer with one ignored screen of what appeared to be a blank Word document and the other screen on Facebook! Are you kidding me!? I am not your parent. How you choose to spend your time dawdling and dallying is absolutely none of my concern. It’s the ‘where’. Snuggled up in bed? Sure. Yawning over that first cup of coffee in the library cafe?

These animals are in the grand scheme of the animal kingdom tiny Likewise, the fact people recoil at them hissing is pretty laughable. Nobody bothers when a cat meows or a dog barks but the minute something with wings and a seemingly menacing beak makes a noise it’s cause to wet yourself and sprint in the opposite direction from it. All you have to do is ignore the geese and they get bored and back off. Summer term more than any other time is when you should just ignore what the water fowl are doing – they all have babies, all the geese are stressed and so they squawk and screech at all the ungainly big things walking past because they’re convinced literally everything in the world is a threat to their children. It’s only really natural for the geese to be protective and all you need to do instead of freaking out is just calmly ignore them and carry walking. The animals might be aggressive but they’ll back down if you don’t give them the time of day. At the end of the day a goose is not going to be responsible for your death. It’s beak is not venomous and it’s wings do not discharge acid that melts your body. When one honks or squawks or flaps its wings it won’t be the last thing you see or hear before your untimely demise. Just take a reality check – campus is only a concrete jungle and not somewhere that animals actually pose any threat or menace to you.

YES You go for it. Nestled amongst yet-to-be-opened books and on a library computer? No. That computer that you have so thoughtfully usurped for “just five minutes of Facebook” could be being used by someone that actually needs to do work. This is not a wild and off-thewall idea. In response to their SU’s student experience report in 2012, University of East Anglia trialed a ‘Facebook-free’ zone of library computers, encompassing one floor out of the three IT areas in their library. An initial poll reveals that out of a total of 202 votes received, 48.5% thought the ban was a good idea compared with 38.6% who opposed the idea. I am not calling for a blanket 24-hour block on Facebook across the uni, this is not North Korea and I am not a monster. Nearly all of the student societies here use Facebook groups to keep in contact with their society members, events are organised and promoted on Facebook, study groups are set up on Facebook it is a necessary evil. However, if this social media time-sink was blocked during peak times in the library on computers connected to the Internet via a wired connection, this would be fundamentally beneficial for those who want to efficiently use their time for academic reasons.

@YorkVision

f you’re silly enough to get distracted by the compelling combination of photos of people you don’t know very well pretending to have fun, high scores on Candy Crush Saga, and “just had a bagel #yolo” calibre status updates that is your newsfeed, then you never deserved a good dissertation in the first place. Its academic natural selection and you’re probably going to fail anyway. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. There are more distractions on the Internet than can be imagined by sane individuals; banning one of them won’t make much difference. No enemy is more determined than one who wants to pay £9,000 pounds a year to watch silly cat videos and read BuzzFeed -Procrastinators gonna procrastinate. Facebook whether we like it or not is part of the fabric of university life. Almost all university societies use it to co-ordinate their activities. Most subjects have a Facebook page as well. It’s the go to method of communication for students, and by restricting its usage we are sacrificing one important part of university life for another, and prioritising the academic over all else. If you really want a computer in the library, you can get one. It might not be in the wonderland that is the Harry Fairhurst, but

U-KOP OUTS UKIP SHOULD NOT POLARISE THE EU DEBATE

LEON MORRIS

@imleonmorris

WILL MCCURDY

olitics is rapidly becoming the bane of my life. Whether it is following the news, discussing the government’s new policy or just being socially ‘political’ (come on, we’ve all been there), I’m increasingly beginning to realise that the rhetoric is becoming a bit of a joke. When I realise my friends thought I was a political snob, and a right-winger at that (don’t worry, I’m not), they laugh and think I’m a bit of a joke. To be perfectly honest, they’re right- it’s not really my cup of tea as of late. One particularly toxic debate currently dominating the UK media is our membership in the European Union, and it exploded on the front pages again last week with the erecting of inarguably offensive UKIP billboards sporting the slogan ‘Take back control of our country’. As you may have guessed, the gearing up to the European elections has again conjoined two of the most virulent debates in UK Politics - immigration and the EU. I mean, Thatcher was chucked out for it.

Frankly, it seems that no-one actually knows enough to make a rational argument – and that can be clearly seen with leading political figures, including Nick Clegg and Nigel Farage. Love it or hate it, I can’t seem to understand why people ever really choose a side when it comes to the EU anyway.

I find that colourful, erroneous debates do not encourage me at all As I become more and more familiar with the key EU arguments, I find I hate every aspect of the debate. It’s true I have no strong views on the matter but I find that the colouful, erroneous debates do not encourage me at all. It’s probably a good explanation for student apathy even if I’m certain students have some sort passion and awareness of the political terrain around us. It’s a shame really that UKIP members are doing themselves an injustice. I believe the party has a strong foundation as a respectable and influential political party. But what I find interestingly bizarre is the left-right tendencies within the EU debate, that UKIP have seeemed to encourage. The idea that those who want to stay in the

if you’re willing to brave the cold hinterland that is the LFA rooms, music department or the upper echelons of the JB Morrel you’ll find a seat, exam time or no exam time. Or buy a laptop. That’s what your student loan’s for anyway, not buying things off ASOS. Granted, the idea of banning Facebook in the library may make some sense on paper, but it’s sort of missing the point. Sure, a whole lot of people might be a little more productive if they banned Facebook. But the University shouldn’t be telling you how to live your life anyway. Eating badly and drinking excessively is a pretty bad idea; they don’t ban that, because the university shouldn’t exist as a sort of nanny state, and every personal freedom you take away sets a precedent for more and more invasions of your freedom. Students are clever are enough to decide what’s good for them, rather having our glorious library administration masters doing it for us. University is all about independence, leaving home and learning to learn for your own benefit. University is not a degree factory. It’s not school, and it’s definitely not your mum. University is about learning to be an adult, and adults can moderate their own social media usage.

EU are of the left and those who want to leave are rabid right-wingers is ridiculous. The debate should be about Britain wanting to remain an independent state and doesn’t need the partisan paintbrush. Which is why UKIP don’t help the Eurosceptic’s cause with their ridiculously misguided campaigns. What UKIP stand for genuinely has some grounding and yes, their political arguments on immigration have a basic foundation that I can relate to. I find it difficult to see how voters would look past the racist and homphobic perceptions of the party to see the valuable work they put in on an arguably worthwhile cause. It’s funny how the simple things, such as a misguided billboard can really question why you’re involved with a cause. I’m not exactly a politician and I couldn’t care less about what people thought about my views but I’ve always felt that I wanted to make an impact in this world. And that’s a lifetime commitment. I feel we’re just not, and never really will be, truly European. It seems inconsistent with my argument but I feel that time will tell. Let’s just have the referendum now and maybe I’ll make a decision once the result has been announced.

Books: taboo or not taBOO Stage: sEX: tHEATREâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S lAST TABOO TV: Alice in Arabia

Music: Interview: Howie B Film: Hidden Taboos in Cinema Tech: Sooam: A game of clones

In this issue

Scene

A NOTE FROM THE EDITORS

MUSIC

Welcome to the first issue of third term! Exams are upon us all now, and dissertation stress is at an all time high amongst final year students. But fear not! This issue of Scene is guaranteed to take your mind off coursework and deadlines, at least for a while. This issue’s theme is ‘Taboo’, so we are discussing all manner of taboo subjects, from banned books to the controversial issue of cloning. The feature on page eight talks about whether social taboos can ever be considered a good thing, or if we perhaps need to be more open-minded. As both of us Scene editors are third years, we sadly won’t be able to run for our position again, so this will be our last issue. We hope you’ve enjoyed what we’ve done with Scene for the past few issues, and hope the next editors will carry on making it bigger and better! Rachel & Milo

Retrospective: Charles Manson (p4) Interview: Howie B (p5)

FILM

Hidden Taboos in U-Rated Cinema (p6) Review: The Muppets: Most Wanted (p7)

WHAT’S ON:

FEATURES

FILM

The Last Taboo? (p8-9)

Alice in Arabia (p10) Most Controversial TV Episodes (p11)

BOOKS

Taboo Or Not Taboo (p12) Favourite 4: Unruly Reads (p13)

TECH

Sooam: A Game of Clones (p14) Is Virtual Reality The Future? (p14)

MUSIC John Butt, Organ - 30 April / 7:30pm / Sir Jack Lyons Concert Hall Albert Herring, An Opera By Benjamin Britten - 7 May / 7:00pm / Sir Jack Lyons Concert Hall

STAGE

Sex: Theatre’s Last Taboo? (p15) “All The World’s A Stage” (p15)

SPOTLIGHT Girl On The Net (p16)

Silver Linings Playbook at York Student Cinema - 1 May / 7:30pm / P/X/001 American Hustle at York Student Cinema - 2 May / 7:30pm / P/X/001 The Lion King at York Student Cinema - 5 May / 7:30pm / P/X/001 Tangled at York Student Cinema - 8 May / 7:30pm / P/X/001 Frozen at York Student Cinema - 9 May / 7:30pm / P/X/001 The Book Thief at York Student Cinema - 12 May / 7:30pm / P/X/001 The Lego Movie at York Student Cinema - 15/16 May / 7:30pm / P/X/001

OTHER

Roses Weekend - 2/3/4 May / Lancaster University Trip to Flamingo Land - 6 May / 8:45am / Market Square Professional Connect - 8 May / 6:15pm / Physics

SCENE TEAM Scene Editors Rachel Seymour Milo Boyd

Music Editors

Film Editors

TV Editors

Books Editors

Tech Editors

Stage Editors

Will McCurdy Mairead Kearins

Alex Radford Tim Douglas

Zena Jarjis Katie Thomas

Rebekah Boyle Lilith King Taylor

Will Addy Costas Mourselas

Charlie Benson Nadine Garbett

Deputy Music

Deputy Film

Deputy TV

Deputy Books

Deputy Tech

Deputy Stage

James Scott Katie Molloy

Joosoo Yi Samuel Bowell

Martin Waugh Phillip Watson

Steven Rowan Jeram George Norman

Louisa Hann Meri Aho

Zoe Bennell Matt Durrant

Scene

MUSIC FILM FEATURE TV BOOKS TECH STAGE SPOTLIGHT

Music

The Holy Bible: 20 years on BY KATRINA NORTHERN

014 marks the twentieth anniversary of The Manic Street Preachers’ 1994 album The Holy Bible, a seething compilation which didn’t just flirt with taboo but went at it with a sledge-hammer. At a recent gig in Brixton they alluded to the fact that their song ‘Everything Must Go’ had featured in a chart of best Britpop anthems, prompting bassist and lyricist Nicky Wire to joke that “during shitpop I was wearing skirts and eyeliner”. Fashion-wise, that 90s era saw Wire cross-dressing for gigs and singer James Dean Bradfield sparking controversy by wearing a military-type balaclava on the 1994 performance of ‘Faster’ on Top of the Pops, garnering thousands of complaints. Earlier, in 1991, guitarist Richey Edwards had publicly carved ‘4REAL’ into his arm with a razor in answer to queries over the band’s authenticity. He was open in interviews about his depression and self-harm, inflicted through cuts, cigarette burns on his skin and alcohol. As a relatively intro-

Retrospective: Charles Manson BY TOM DAVIES

harles Manson, discounting a select club of dictators, is perhaps the top example usually given of a person who is ‘pure evil’. Not just a sociopathic killer, but a leader amongst killers. A man who revelled in and openly encouraged excessive violence, who attempted to turn serial murder into both a political movement and a quasi religion. A man who took the ideals of the 60s Cultural Revolution and warped them into a message of hatred and violence, abusing his position of respect and influence over others to corrupt the minds of the impressionable and use them to do his bidding. What’s strange about Manson is that we have a particularly unusual form of insight into the man’s mind through his music,

verted person, Edwards, like many, took his pain out on himself. The album was his last before his disappearance. The album itself is shot through with themes of genocide, anorexia, the glorification of serial killers, capital punishment, a rampant sense of bankruptcy in many ideologies, suicide and self-harm. And it’s not for the attention. Both Nicky Wire and Richey Edwards graduated with degrees in political history, had vociferous appetites for reading and channelled a huge amount of their intellect through their creativity in a way which music fans don’t see much of anymore. It could be said that the years of the Manic Street Preachers’ guitarist and lyricist Richey Edwards and Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain really raised the profile of issues such as mental health and self-harm and brought it into the public consciousness. The anniversaries this year honour the debt society owes them and their brilliant, honest, however flawed, minds. Wire has spoken about how the band had spent their time on the The Holy Bible European tour visiting Holocaust death camps. Songs like ‘The Intense Humming of Evil’ and ‘Mausoleum’ allude to the Nazi atrocities. ‘4st 7lb’ (the weight at which you’re supposedly on the brink of death) documents a descent further into anorexia with haunting lyrics like “days since I last pissed”, “such beautiful dignity in self-abuse” and

“I want to walk in the snow and not leave a footprint”. The scything guitars create a crazed atmosphere of a descent into selfdestruction and there is a raspy desperation to the vocals. ‘Revol’ (‘lover’ backwards) is a song of complete disillusionment in all leaders of men, in love and in the possibility of change, while ‘Ifwhiteamericatoldthetruthforonedayitsworldwouldfallapart’ lambasts the total domination of a culture the band perceive to be the emptiest of all. The album cover is artwork by Jenny Saville, showing three angles of an obese woman, while songs are introduced with or contain samples of dialogue, either from news reports, films or trial tapes. There is an excerpt from the film of Orwell’s ‘1984’ (the album feels a bit dystopian itself), but one of the most telling is a quote from J.G. Ballard at the beginning of ‘Mausoleum’: “I wanted to rub the human face in its own vomit, and force it to look in the mirror.” It paraphrases the ethos of The Holy Bible. The album title itself has implications of absolute truth. It may have been twenty years since its release but the fervour and passion that the tracks have generated at gigs is testament to its unique and enduring relevance. Even though there have been elements of nostalgia back in a couple of their recent albums, The Manics have always been more about taking the things that mat-

ter with you into the future. They bring the memory and impact of Richey James Edwards with them as they evolve. The upcoming release of ‘Futurology’ heralds a new chapter, but this is a band that will always have something to say that others may not dare, and it will always be important to listen.

which I’ve agreed to listen to for reasons best left for my therapist to unravel in later life. Now, technically the man has released a number of albums, mostly from prison. The first and most famous of those (chiefly because it was released at about the same time as his trial) can be listened to freely on the internet, and to be honest why would I want to pay for the privilege of hearing the guy sing? So, that’s the one I chose to listen to. Perhaps the first thought you get when listening to Manson’s music is how eerie it is with the benefit of hindsight. To listen to him is to re-humanize a person who you had previously psychologically stopped considering a member of the same species as yourself. Music, of course, is one of the most intimate means by which people who you don’t know can connect with you on a raw, human level, and to award such a man with the opportunity to attempt to do so gives you a feeling bordering on violation. To listen to Manson sing is to hear evil sing, and yet it’s just a normal voice. More than that in

fact, it’s a rather pleasant singing voice, one which would be better suited to a crooner at a 50s Chicago lounge bar than a 60s amateur folk singer; let alone a mass murdering one. The album’s flagship song is a two minute acoustic ditty called ‘Look At Your Game Girl’ and is the closest thing to a half decent tune on there. This was annoying, because I was really hoping they’d all be terrible. It would be a lot easier if they were. It added to the faint anger I felt that Charles Manson could, through his music, almost pass for normal, even mildly talented in places, although the vast majority of his discography is, as expected, indisputably awful dross. Of course, some of the elements of his musical portfolio cannot help but raise a certain sort of dark titter. Particularly his track ‘Don’t Do Anything Illegal’, which, whilst falling firmly into the larger group of Manson’s songs that are unapologetically rubbish, really takes the biscuit as far as hypocrisies go. You really do have to laugh

at the concept of being told not to do anything illegal by Charles bloody Manson. It’s like turning up to Alcoholics Anonymous and finding out your sponsor is Brendan Behan’s ghost. However, other than universally acknowledging that ‘Don’t Do Anything Illegal’ wins the prize for most ironic song of all time, is there any point to all of this? Perhaps that making music doesn’t necessarily make you a nice guy? Well, we knew that. Manson isn’t the first musician who did terrible things, although he may well be the worst. I suppose an important question to ask is whether or not his music tells us who he really was, if somehow the evil shines through. And the answer is no, it’s just music, a little subpar in quality perhaps but not intrinsically reeking of malice. Maybe by listening to the music of a man like Manson we can learn something about how easy it can be to hide one’s true nature? Yeah, let’s say that, at least so I don’t feel like this has all been a monumental waste of my time.

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MUSIC FILM FEATURE TV BOOKS TECH STAGE SPOTLIGHT

Reviews PAOLO NUTINI CAUSTIC LOVE

BY CONNOR SHERWIN

fter a five year gap the dishevelled looking Scot is back, offering a handful of whisky-soaked tracks that help soothe the soul. After the previous success of Nutini’s poppy goes happy Sunny Side Up, his new album Caustic Love provides us with thirteen songs that prove that five years can turn a “boy” into a “man”. The album gives us an insight into Paolo’s experiences and his vast array of musical influences that can be clearly heard throughout. There’s something for everyone here, soul, funk, rock, Motown and Ska, giving every track a life of its own. Paolo’s headline single in the album is clearly ‘Scream (Funk My Life Up)’. The unashamedly loud and rocky opener not only proves that all those years of booze have created a blistering voice that has waited to be unleashed, but is a kick in the face to anyone thinking they were going to hear another version of ‘New Shoes’. This

LIVE REVIEW:

WITHIN TEMPTATION BY LAURA-KATE HOWARTH

white curtain with the new Hydra logo blazing across it is down, and just for kicks there is a dragon projected onto the ceiling. The lights dim and the intro to ‘Let Us Burn’ starts to play. Only it’s not quite the intro from the studio album, but a more dramatic and exciting version that builds the crowd’s anticipation to fever pitch. The band’s sixth studio album, Hydra, was released on the 31st January this year in Europe and entered the UK charts at a phenomenal number six to critical acclaim. So it’s no wonder that the Dutch rockers sold out many of their shows on the UK leg of their world tour, including the gig I attended at the Manchester 02 Apollo.

song takes the listener back to an early Rod Stewart, with backing vocals to match. The album gives us such a melting pot of sounds it becomes hard to categorise at all. Songs such as ‘Let Me Down Easy’ give off vibes of Motown, from the likes of Marvin Gaye and The Supremes. Other tracks such as ‘One Day’ and ‘Better Man’ provide snippets of sounds that almost resemble the soul man, James Brown, himself. There are simply not enough words to list all of the possible influences that have helped mould and shape this album. Paolo clearly has a massive musical range; with ‘Sunny Side Up’ the Ska influence has not diminished, and songs such as ‘Numpty’ prove to any die-hard Nutini fan that he hasn’t gone totally off the rails. As well as including epic, movie-soundtrack-like, six minute orchestral corkers, Caustic Love includes two mini, instrumental sound bites with ‘Bus Talk’ and ‘Superfly’ that give you time to take a break and try and figure out what the hell is going on. The most revealing track in the album comes in the form of the philosophical smack in the head, ‘Iron Sky’. Talk of cold society and a surprising speech stating “You are not machines, you are men” is a tad confusing after listening to a mellow and romantic tune beforehand. Despite all the philosophical talk, ‘Iron Sky’ proves that Paolo has matured over the past five years, writing songs that have real meaning and depth. It’s safe to say Paolo has moved on from singing about pencils full of lead. The album is a truly remarkable feat of work; Paolo has proved here that he is a truly well-developed musician, with an astounding mix of musical genres and sounds being used to provide an experience that is almost cinematic. Caustic Love is surely one of the best albums of the year, and possibly the crowning glory of Paolo’s career. Do yourself a favour, relax, and give Paolo a try. You won’t regret it.

This concert was by far the biggest I’ve ever attended, with 3,500 fans screaming, cheering, and singing along at the top of their lungs to the anthemic, bombastic, symphonic, female-fronted metal with a newly added twist of pop influence scattered amongst the tracks. Upon front woman Sharon den Adel’s first appearance on stage, a 3,500 strong roar came from the pumped up crowd, as many of them will have been long-term fans, primed to expect a metal show like no other. Within Temptation are professionals to the true extent of the word. Sharon’s passionate, humble and energetic performance with her powerful yet beautiful vocals compliments the laid-back, seductive exteriors of the guys: Ruud Jolie and Stefan Helleblad on guitars, Jeroen van Veen on bass, Martijn Spierenburg on keyboards and Mike Coolen on drums. Of course there are some cheeky on-stage antics between Ruud and Stefan, but what do you expect from two crazy, awesome guitar players? The touring stage setup is truly amaz-

rom their humble beginnings as a band formed on YouTube, The Vamps have had huge success over the last 12 months. Signing their record deal by the end of 2012, they have had their first three singles in the top three and have supported fellow British bands McFly, The Wanted and Lawson on tour. Although it’s not necessarily the most original style, there are enough positive signs and glimmering hopes that the piece isn’t a complete mess. Though it has its flaws, it isn’t the disaster it might have been. Their musical influences seem to vary, as opening single ‘Wild Heart’ has a Mumford & Sons feel and has lyrics that would send teenage girls crazy; “Tonight we’ll dance, I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine”. These lyrics juxtapose hugely with the happy acoustic guitar backdrop, yet it works. Debut single ‘Can We Dance’ has a McFly feel to it, which makes sense as it was released after

they supported the band on their Memory Lane tour. They have mentioned in interviews that McFly are one of their biggest influences and are currently having similar success to McFly in their early days. As one of the few songs not written by the band, it shows that The Vamps have actual credibility, unlike a lot of boybands today. The album caters to the teenage market with their latest single ‘Last Night’ having an upbeat youthful feel and referring to having a good time at a party, something most teenagers can relate to. ‘Girls On TV’ also reminds us that we live in a media-saturated society and could have a sense of irony if you consider their introduction to the music industry. With mentions of how a girl doesn’t need to appear on a game show or Hollywood movie to be seen as beautiful, and the thought of baby-faced vocalist Brad Simpson singing it, would make many a teenage girl happy. They seem to have their sound and target market sussed, with the majority of songs geared almost soley to making pre-teen/teen girls swoon. Whilst such direction will see them labelled as cynics by some, it’s an inoffensive tactic beyond the parameters of musical snobbery. Somewhat surprisingly for such a youthful band, their recordings perform well live on stage. They are packed full of energy, understand the feverishly pent up desires of their audience and are, most importantly, bloody gorgeous! The major flaw of the album is its overreliance on the fact that the majority of the band’s fan base are teenage girls and could almost be considered as jumping on the One Direction bandwagon, despite having a dedicated fan base before their success, unlike the lovable X-Factor puppies. Despite this, The Vamps are a credible band with great song writing skills, a good pop sound and huge likability. It is a decent debut album by a young talented band, who have had a great 2013 and are set to have an even better 2014.

ing: a video screen adorned by two huge black and white dragon heads on either side, a set of silver gleaming stairs running down the middle of the keyboard riser to stage right, and a drum riser to stage left. And to top it all off, there sat glowing balls of light that are somewhat reminiscent of something out of a sci-fi film. On stage the band looks totally at ease and comfortable within their surroundings, owning the space with winks, smiles and acknowledgements to members of the crowd, engaging with the fans. Whenever possible the video screen is utilised to its full potential, as Within Temptation are a band that have worked extremely hard to bring out several music videos for tracks from the two previous albums Hydra and The Unforgiving, released in 2011. This provides the band with the opportunity to play songs featuring guest singers that would have never before been possible, and also provides a unique visual display. The set list was a smorgasbord of greatest hits from all six studio albums including the classics ‘Angels’ and ‘Stand My Ground’,

folk-metal hits ‘Mother Earth’ and ‘Ice Queen’, three tracks from their 2007 album The Heart of Everything, three tracks from the previously mentioned The Unforgiving and a whopping 80% of tracks from Hydra, which is to be expected since it is the Hydra 2014 world tour! Two wonderful surprises in the set list included ‘And We Run’ (feat. Xzibit) and an acoustic reworking of the final track from the latest album The Whole World Is Watching. Personally, I was hoping these two would be featured in the set list but thought it a pipe dream when I researched the previous dates set lists and found that these were not featured. Only The Whole World Is Watching had been performed live for Polish fans earlier in the tour. I give my experience at this gig 10/10. The set list was eclectic, the musicianship was top notch and the atmosphere electric. I highly recommend, for fans of almost any music genre, that you go to see Within Temptation live the next time they pay another visit to the UK. They are not to be missed.

THE VAMPS MEET THE VAMPS

BY MAIREAD KEARINS

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MUSIC FILM FEATURE TV BOOKS TECH STAGE SPOTLIGHT

INTERVIEW BY WILL MCCURDY

owie B is a producer of remarkable pedigree, having worked with the likes of Bjork, Soul II Soul and U2, before going on to release a string of idiosyncratic and critically acclaimed solo albums such as Turn The Dark Off. His productions spawned some of the most interesting tracks to come out of the 90s: tracks such as Bjork’s ‘Army Of Two’ and Tricky’s seminal Trip Hop track ‘Hell Is Around The Corner’, in which he made bold and unique statements with his productions. Not confined to giving into the demands of family life and the day-to-day grind of running a studio, he is still a popular and in demand DJ playing for audiences almost half his age and still produces his own brand of electronic music. His latest album, Turn Down The Dawn, came out on April 14th. Howie seems filled to the brim with enthusiasm about it, having lost nothing of the vigour of his early career. It seems to be as inspired as anything that he has ever done; “I lost two of my closest friends, and this album was about trying to express that.” Does it bear any connection with his acclaimed début Turn the Dark Off I wonder, with the similar titles hinting at some thematic link: “It’s about light. It’s about dealing with tragedy, and about the tragic things in life. It’s about coping with the bad.” As always, he is focused on developing his sound forward and progressing musically from what

Howie B he did on previous LPs: “A poet can’t write the same poem over and over. What would be the point in that? I have to develop as an artist, so every record is going to be different and distinct. But it’s still me, it has my signature and the themes I’ve been dealing with for so long.” His Scottish roots are something that continue to influence Howie to this very day. He holds that they had a significant effect in shaping him as a young man making music, “It would have been totally different. I’m not sure how, but it would be. Everything I do is an accent. An expression of where I’m at and what I’ve been though. Everything I do is Glasgow [sic].” Despite these gritty 60s routes, the former tea-boy is unremittingly optimistic about the benefits that technology can bring modern musicians, particularly the internet: “It’s a very positive thing. It’s great. It’s like a library. When I was young I had no money, so I went down to the local library and listened to music. It’s a great platform for young people to discover music and for artists to promote things. I don’t think it’s negatively affecting things in any way.” There are however, both positives and negatives that come with these new developments. Howie seems confidently convinced of why the popularity of vinyl is still so very high years after the introduction of digital technology: “It’s just better. That’s it. It just sounds better. We still haven’t invented

anything better” Though he is quick to acknowledge their shortcomings, his faith in the methods behind the classics remains completely unshakeable. “It’s all simple stuff. Drum machine, bass guitar, vocals. Nothing beats three piece. A great live band. You see a great band live and it blows you away. You don’t think how do they do that? You just enjoy it. No technology has been able to improve upon that. It’s about the music not about the gear you name it with.” With producers and studio technicians obsessing over what variety of microphone to use, his back-to-basics attitude is a breath of fresh air. Far from being out of touch, the current music scene is something that Howie remains in touch with and positive about: “The current scene is great, as good as it has ever been. I love all of it. It’s changing all the time. New things coming about.” But even though the scene is always changing, for Howie, music will always be a profoundly personal thing: “Even your life affects the way you hear music; you can hear a song a year later and it will be completely different to when you heard it for the first time. The song didn’t change but you do. Music is never static.” Beneath this love of the old school lies an unremitting optimism that he has something to offer the modern music scene: “I have a responsibility to be good. If it wasn’t

good I wouldn’t realise it. I’ve got a responsibility to do good work as a DJ and producer, no matter how old I am.” Continually pushing forward, Howie is equally confident in the potential of new blood entering the recording industry: “China is a massive growth area. In Britain we’ve been recording music for 100 years, in China it’s only really been apparent for the last 15. There’s immense potential. We’re going to see some absolutely wonderful music coming out of there in the next 15 years, I guarantee it. No question.” Howie has the utmost respect for DJing and production as an art form. I asked him how he dealt with criticism that he is “just” a producer: “I’d give him [a] hug. He’s being pretty rude. But I’d still give him a hug. There’s a lot of skill involved in DJing, production, in mixing, in engineering. It’s an art form. It’s a skill. Even if you don’t play an instrument. It doesn’t mean there’s not a lot of talent in it.” But looking back over the scope of his career, it’s not been the music that has challenged him the most: “Raising my children. That’s by far the most difficult thing that I’ve done. More than music. But they are inseparable, because they inspire the music.” Howie seems like a remarkably happy man. Although he’s been in the music game for a long time he still has his feet firmly planted on the ground. Music remains an extremely personal, passionate thing for him. He’s definitely someone that today’s generation of producers can learn from.

“A great live band . No technology has been able to improve on that.”

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MUSIC FILM FEATURE TV BOOKS TECH STAGE SPOTLIGHT

FIL Melancholia The Element Of Crime

The Idiots

The Boss of It All

Lars von Trier career-o-graph

Nymphomaniac

Antichrist

Europa

2002

2004

2006

Hidden Taboos in U-rated Cinema

2010

2012

Timothy Douglas explores the range of taboo subjects secretly inserted in children’s film:

aboo subjects never go unseen in the ever-growing film industry. This is perhaps just as well, seeing as most of us have an unusual interest in gritty plot lines about teenagers taking Class A drugs and dirt-under-your-fingernails crimethrillers centred on child abuse and rape, not mentioning the obvious ‘sexplosion’ of pornographic feature-lengths. Of course, film gravitates towards these taboo areas because there’s a market for it, but does the idea fully stop there? What if some of the most shocking taboos were secretly laced into a wider range of film content, maybe even in those films we least expect? Yes, exposed are the Hookah-Smoking Caterpillar and LSD-addicted Cheshire Cat in Disney’s famous Alice in Wonderland, a movie that does a bang-up job when it comes to inputting subliminal stimuli. After all, most kids’ films are riddled with cryptic messages that remain unseen to the eightyear-old’s eye but clear enough to the parent supervising them. But what is it about children’s films, spe-

cifically the earlier ones, which render them products of a powerful taboo-obsessed conspiracy? Well, starting with Walt Disney Productions could shed some light on this. Certainly, it’s foolish to single out the one tapering castle spire in The Little Mermaid as an unmistakable phallic symbol, just as much as it is fruitless to assume the dust cloud in The Lion King spells out the word ‘sex’ (as was pointed out to us in a blood-red font by some Microsoft paint pundit). Even if these were intended, they aren’t obvious taboos. However, hidden controversies in these beloved children’s tales seem to exist, what with the violent poisoning of Snow White and the unrelenting cigar-smoking Lampwick in Pinnochio – “Come on, take a big drag! Like this!” The controversy doesn’t stop here; sexual innuendos run rampant in films like The Little Mermaid and

Aladdin – I mean, did they really expect to get away with a host of half-naked, cleavage-bearing Disney princesses without toning it down a bit? It is a G-rated movie at the end of the day… Moving away from the subtle smuttiness of Disney, the much-loved Studio Ghibli too revels in taboo-induced cinema. Colourful artworks like Spirited Away raise questions of child labour and even, some believe, child prostitution (most apparent when Chihiro’s profession – a yuna – is translated into a woman who ‘assists bathers’ – in other words a ‘bathhouse prostitute’). The same topic crops up again in the company’s most recent movie, The Wind Rises, in which prostitution in the shape of ‘comfort women’ is touched upon – a bit much for a PG-13 kids epic, wouldn’t you say? Finally, Disney: not really big

on hidden meanings but equally never far from controversy in this matter. Suggestions that the central characters in the award-winning films Frozen and Brave are homosexuals (surely, that isn’t still a taboo, right?) continue to spiral the net, albeit with little substantiation. Other taboos like murder also make additions to films like Finding Nemo; of course I’m referring to the merciless death of Marlin’s wife, Coral (though it appears off screen, it still leaves a shaky audience). Sure, we aren’t talking about the extended legacy of Reefer Madness here, but certainly a concept set to rival the subtle edge commonly found in 12A movies. Summing up, though it doesn’t appear as though creators of U-rated cinema are hell-bent on secretly advertising these objectionable taboos across the industry, it is certainly worth discussing. My theory: long hours cooped-up in a bijou office sketching characters all day gets a bit boring – so they sneakily add saucy secrets into their animation.

Alex Radford dives into those films that don’t think twice about dealing with taboo subject matter:

Oldboy

Oldboy begins with the protagonist being imprisoned, in what appears to be a cheap hotel room, for 15 years. He is then released and attempts to uncover why he was incarcerated. At this point you may be wondering what taboo themes this film has to offer; all that I am willing to say is wait until the end.

Cannibal Holocaust

You know a film is at least going to be interesting when a court case was brought against the director accusing him of murdering the cast as part of the making of the film. One of the first found footage films, it tells the story of a documentary crew who had gone into the Amazon forest to film cannibal tribes. Famed not just for its graphic depictions of cannibalism, it also contains real footage of live animals being butchered.

Tetsuo The Ironman

Donning a post-modern hat, this film can be described as having a non-linear plot structure that contains themes of rape, repression, violence and vengeance. It is stated by some critics to be a critique of the social and sexual repression in Japanese society. It can also be described as a film where the main protagonist’s penis turns into a gigantic drill while he is having sex, causing him to skewer his unfortunate wife. It’s quite a weird film.

Audition AASerbian Film Serbian Film

This is a film which is about a Japanese businessman who sets up a fake film audition to find a new girlfriend. At first this seems to be nothing more than a saccharine rom-com with a somewhat creepy premise, until the 30 minute mark is reached and the film begins a horrifying U-turn. Containing themes ranging from domination and the lust for power to child rape, it’s a film that does not think much of showing taboo material. A Serbian Film has nearly every theme and image on this list, save for animal cruelty and drill penises. It charts a down-on-his luck porn star who agrees to take part in an ‘art film’ directed by an rich ‘admirer’ of his. Understood by director Srdjan Spasojevic as a portrayal of Serbian society, it is unrelentingly grim and visceral from start to finish; at around the midpoint it contains what is probably one of the most disturbing scenes in cinema. Whether you consider it tastelessly and needlessly offensive, or groundbreaking in its relentless quest to overstep the mark, it’s safe to say boundaries are ignored.

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Films were viewed in the comfort of Reel Cinema in York, one of the few grand old Odeon theatres in the country.

MUSIC FILM FEATURE TV BOOKS TECH STAGE SPOTLIGHT

REVIEWS The Muppets: Most Wanted

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verybody knows a sequel is never quite as good,” the Muppets merrily sing in their catchy opening number. While they’re correct in a number of ways, Muppets: Most Wanted still provides enough joy, laughter and anarchy to more than merit another visit to our old felt friends. The plot, such as it is, follows the heroes on a tour around Europe with dodgy new manager Dominic Badguy (Ricky Gervais) and his dastardly amphibian accomplice Constantine, who has slyly replaced himself in a Siberian prison with none other than Kermit the Frog. The evil pair embark on a series of heists, aiming to steal the Crown Jewels from the Tower of London and leave the Muppets’ reputation in tatters. In a film focussing on all-singing, all dancing felt puppets, any humans in the vicinity need to really put in the hours to make an impression. Mercifully then, the producers here had the good sense to cast strong comedy talent for the human counterparts. The always wonderful Tina Fey and Ty Burrell respectively play a Siberian prison

guard and Cleauseau-esque Interpol agent, joyfully injecting their performances with over-the-top accents and a broad slapstick energy characteristic of the film in general. Ricky Gervais is also good comedy value as the dodgy double crossing villain. However, as is usually the case with Gervais, he is effectively just playing a version of himself, so whether or not you enjoy his shtick will greatly affect whether you enjoy it here. Director James Bobin does a grand job of wrangling the anarchy together into something fairly cohesive, and he clearly has an intrinsic understanding for comedy and timing. Some aspects of the film, however, just don’t quite work. Generally speaking, the plot of a Muppet movie is always secondary to the free-

wheeling anarchy comedy provided by the Muppets themselves. But without a solid framework to hang it on, some of the plotting and jokes tend to fall flat and even seem repetitive. It’s not a severe problem, but it does place this outing below its predecessor. The musical numbers here are the main star of the show. Penned by Flight of the Conchord’s Bret McKenzie (who has a hilarious cameo as a Gulag prisoner) clearly has a lot of love for the Muppets and provides the film with its strongest attribute. As is to be expected, there is a deluge of celebrity cameos, varying in quality from the inspired (Christoph Waltz doing a waltz) to the completely pointless (Diddy,

sitting quietly). For the most part these are a pleasant distraction, but the overall effect is to divert attention from the Muppets troupe, which is a borderline criminal act in a Muppet movie. The most screen time is obviously given to Kermit, Piggy and Constantine, with the limited outings afforded to the others serving to demonstrate just how little they feature in the film. Fan favourites such as Animal and the Great Gonzo shine with great jokes in very limited screen time, but one can’t help think that the film would have been better with more focus on the Muppets themselves, rather than cameos from other stars. Nonetheless, broadly speaking the film succeeds with a never-ending stream of bonkers humour and joyful musical numbers. Although, as the Muppets themselves happily admit, this is a slight slip in quality from their last outing, it’s still a great big bundle of fun. Sit back, enjoy the ride and you’ll be sure to leave the cinema with a big childish grin on your face.

Thomas Shutt

Divergent

ollowing the box office success of fellow teen novel franchises Twilight and The Hunger Games, Divergent, was under pressure to achieve similar success. Based on the first of Victoria Roth’s Divergent trilogy, the film introduces us to Beatrice (Shailene Woodley) who lives in a factional society, each faction tasked with providing something different for the community’s greater good. Upon the character’s coming of age, a mandatory test is undergone to determine in which section you belong. Fail to meet any of the criteria and you are, as Beatrice finds herself, divergent. As a film, it has a similar feel to director Neil Burger’s previous hit Limitless with its undercurrents of hallucination, slippery grips on reality and dystopia. To avoid capture, Beatrice leaves her faction to join Dauntless, changing her name to Triss. Dauntless now has to become her world. As a protection-based society the threat of violence is always present and with it comes a host of lacklustre action scenes. It seems to be too teenage friendly, sliding neatly under the 12A rating; the only bit of gore flopping onto the screen when Triss gets the tip of her ear nipped by a blade. To conform to the young adult film cliché there is a love interest, Four, (Theo James) who instigates a predictable romantic tussle. To add to the

The Quiet Ones tension there is the Dauntless instructor, who warns if they fail to pass the entry tests they are out of the faction. James plays the character well and the chemistry between him and Woodley is believable. It doesn’t hurt that he is gorgeous and mysterious, perfect as teen heartthrob material. It’s almost hard to believe he is the jerk from The Inbetweeners Movie who gets shit on his nose. The big name in the film is Kate Winslet, who plays the villain of the piece Jeanine Matthews, leader of the Erudite faction. With a powerful head on her shoulders, she is convincing in the role and is a ray of light in this film among an otherwise somewhat bland cast. It seems refreshing to see her in such an evil role. As a whole, the film is good at fitting into the young adult film genre. Although some parts of the film are shot well, like the fear sequences which have some great CGI, the plot simply does not have that strong of an impact, especially when compared to The Hunger Games. But to its credit the acting by James, Winslet and particularly Woodley is solid and believable. However, ultimately the potential of this film seemed to be lost by the wayside of the flashy action shots and copycat love story. It’s quite ironic considering it’s a film about originality. Mairead Kearins

he Quiet Ones is a film which spends its time in a kind of purgatory where it is neither terribly good nor terribly bad, but simply ends up making you feel faintly unsatisfied and distinctly underwhelmed by the piece. It centres around a camera man called Brian McNeil (Sam Claflin) who joins a research team at Oxford, attempting to prove a theory by conducting dubious but conveniently dramatic experiments on a mentally disturbed girl called Jane. As with the tropes of this genre, things go awry quickly with the situation becoming increasingly hostile, not to mention loud and conducive to things going bang suddenly. In what is a somewhat interesting premise, the theory in question already invokes the paranormal to an extent. Professor Coupland (Jared Harris) explains that the spooky goings on are a product of a) Jane possessing psychic powers and b) Jane having a psychological trauma that causes her to invent a spirit called Evey, who makes all the scary stuff happen. This, however, is the only really original thing about The Quiet Ones. The film squanders the opportunity to play around with the au-

dience by not building any mystery surrounding the origin of the paranormal activity. For the first two thirds of the film it’s the professor that’s right, then it’s suddenly revealed that it’s an evil demon after all, because Brian stumbles over the right McGuffins. The lacklustre narrative is not helped by the entire cast’s distinctive lack of personality; none are given any significant back story or identifiable traits which makes them difficult to relate to or care about. Around a third of the way into the film, sexual tension between some of the characters is brought into play, but this does little to develop them or raise interest in the plot. The acting is generally solid along with the special effects. The soundtrack is a collection of appropriate thumping drums and screechy static while the cinematography is well done, which makes the film at least interesting to look at. Throughout the film there are some well-placed jump scares and a few sections do build genuine amounts of tension but these don’t make up for its flaws. Fundamentally it is a mostly competent film whose only remarkable feature is how formulaic and uninteresting it becomes. Alex Radford

8 MUSIC

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MILO BOYD and RACHEL SEYMOUR discu

n 21st May 2010 the world was introduced to Pimp, the latest in a long line of British drama that casts a discerning eye towards the gritty reality of our little isle’s mucky underworld. At the beginning was Tony Richardson’s The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner, a quietly anti-establishment homage to freedom set in the dirty climbs of Alan Sillitoe’s northern penitentiary system; a depiction worlds away from the denigrating “scum of the earth” light criminals were so often forced to bathe in. A few years later and 1969 brought us Oh! What a Lovely War, an outstanding satire that pried the tightly held nostalgia from the hands of the gore glorifying establishment whilst perfectly capturing the Zeitgeist of a bygone era; all through the mediums of song and dance. Then came the timeless, untouchable Withnail and I, a film that handles depression, the depths of Thatcherism and homosexuality in the gentlest of ways. The single thing these films have in common, brilliance aside, is their willingness to confront taboos, to take another glance at a corner of society the masses had long since written off. Pimp, “A dark and gritty journey through Soho’s savage underground” and a film that took in £205 at the box-office, is exempt from such company. The single biggest problem with Pimp and that which has seen it regularly plugged as candidate for worst British film ever made is not its appropriation of the now tired mockumentary formula. Nor the weird, nausea inducing hand held camera thing it tries and fails to pull off. It’s not even the fact that Danny Dyer actually says the words “cunt bubble”. (I can only assume this is something a little bit spherical, a little bit vadgy, but beyond this the concept escapes me.) Whilst these things do little to salvage what was always going to be a total fucking shipwreck of a film, if it weren’t for its belligerently see through attempts to sledgehammer through every thinkable cultural taboo and continually, infuriatingly laugh in the face of common decency, it might have avoided going completely Titanic. What Pimp shows us, apart from how goddamn sexy miserable eastern European women are, is that tackling naughty topics is not by itself an action worthy of praise. This is a truth made incredibly apparent by the infamously vile A Serbian Film, an erotic thriller that disgusts and alienates in equal measure. Without an angle, filth remains filth and depravity becomes unpalatable. In the course of Pimp’s 91 minutes of bombastic misogyny, not once is a valid point visible amidst the muck. Not once is the shameless degradation of women used to draw attention to the violent sexism rife in this hugely hyperbolic depiction of a unsavoury subsection of society. The challenging of taboos in this instance is less risqué delve into the uncomfortable than it is ogling dick swinging contest. The quality that keeps Pimp and films that successfully challenge taboos apart is its heavy handed, almost feverish attempt to make its point known. The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner doesn’t need to tell us its stepping into the left field. It shows us, tentatively, through its humanising characterisation of an otherwise shunned peoples that the cultural norm may be in some part faulty. Withnail and I doesn’t shove its

sex and drug agenda down the throats of its audience, reducing the complex world of debauchery in the process. It hints, implies and slowly, within the subtext, looks to overcome. The subject of taboo is in this instance revered, used to heighten the reaction but never used to cause the reaction in and of itself. It is for this reason that taboo is fundamental to great film and must be respected, not overcome at once, if the maximal effect is to be achieved. The same adage holds true in music. Whilst Freddie Mercury’s bisexuality is now well known, for the majority of his time with Queen he was assumed straight. If we are allowed to view his musical career as an artwork in and of itself, the drawn out emergence of his true sexual orientation, through the implied, coke-snorting, rent boy renting ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ and the drag donning ‘I Want to Break Free’, is in retrospect, a far more powerful statement than an out and out declaration. Although gay musicians shouldn’t be required to speak out, in a society still struggling with homophobia the gradual outing of an already substantiated, much loved cultural icon did wonders. A taboo, however outdated and degrading, was understood, slowly unravelled and shown to be wanting. And in the process great art was created. There is certain sincerity apparent in artwork that emerges in rebellion of a social standard that is otherwise hard to capture. Serge and Charlotte Gainsbourg’s ‘Lemon Incest’ is one of the best known incest/peadophillia/80s synth pop crossovers that, in its breathy vocals, scantily clad video and innuendo provoked wild outrage. The point of the song is not to glamorise familial, cross generational love, but to highlight and play off of a taboo. “The love we’ll never make together Is the most beautiful, the rarest, the most disconcerting .The purest, the headiest”, sings the 12 year old Charlotte, acknowledging that it is within the chase, however perpetual, not the catch, that the giddiest of heights are reached. There is admittedly a dark undertone to the song and pair’s relationship that does render this point suspect, but it is not in the song’s smashing of taboos but reverence for them, the love that will never be made together, that it finds its power. The taboo remains intact but played upon. In his fantastic book Risk: The Science and Politics of Fear, Dan Gardner draws upon the power of taboo in the shaping of culture. Cold War America, terrified by the threat of nuclear war with a country vilified, however justly, by the McCarthy driven media, reacted in the extreme. Capitalism became God, teeth whiter and the swinging sixties a decade of cultural liberation. Almost anything became permissible in the desperate scramble to disassociate with the acting counter-culture. As much as the Red Scare was an incredibly damaging, inhumane overreaction to a largely unknown entity, the monolithic counterpoint helped form the pop extremities of Warhol and Rauschenberg. By the law of equal action and reaction, the bigger the taboo, the more shunned a culture, the greater the artistic retribution. This is not to validate or applaud the bigotries and stigmas our societies need to overcome, but to understand the violently emotional responses and creative rebuttal they insopirre, however forcefully, in the are of the disenchanted. Milo Boyd

Withnail a nd I

r : Pimp Danny Dye

Jared Leto and Matthew Mc conaughe in Dallas Buyers Club

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T TABOO?

uss whether taboos were made to be broken

Elsa from Fro zen

ox in Laverne C the New Orange is Black

aboos are typically defined by society, and thus change as society grows and develops. However, it is typically considered taboo to be different from the ‘norms’ of society. In Western culture, this ‘norm’ is usually defined as a cisgender, straight white male, and anything other than that is considered unnatural or strange. However, people are slowly adapting to the idea that this definition of ‘normal’ actually only applies to a very small and privileged section of society, and that either the definition must be broadened, or society must become more accepting of those different to the ‘norm’. What was previously considered taboo is now being accepted in many cases, although it is still an uphill struggle for those searching for equal rights and representation in both society and the media. One of the most prominent examples of something that used to be seen as taboo, but is now accepted by society, is homosexuality. Not so long ago, being homosexual was considered a crime, and not long before that, it was punishable by death (and in some countries it still is). Only recently did many countries, including the UK, legalise same-sex marriage, giving LGBTQIAP+ citizens the same right to marriage as heterosexual couples. Whilst this is clearly a step in the right direction, there is still a long way to go until society changes its narrow-minded view on what is considered to be ‘normal’. However, the way to equal rights and equal treatment for all does not lie in giving the same blanket approach to all situations. Many LGBTQIAP+ rights activists have an issue with applying what they consider to be outdated, heteronormative traditions to sections of society that have no desire to function in this way. Marriage is a good example of this. Whilst married couples do get certain tax breaks and benefits that mean that they are ultimately better off than non-married couples (in monetary terms, at least), many people in the LGBTQIAP+ community dispute that the best way to give non-heterosexual people the same rights as heterosexuals is to simply give them the same things. After all, many people in the LGBTQIAP+ community may not want to get married, as they view it as part of a religion that has ostracised and oppressed them for centuries. However, despite all that, it is undeniable that these sort of leaps forward for LGBTQIAP+ rights are proving that things that used to be seen as ‘taboo’ are now being considered normal, and perfectly acceptable in society. However, whilst small steps are being taken towards equal rights for LGBTQIAP+ citizens in society, it is arguable that there is still a huge way to go before equal representation is given to them in the media. The director of Oscar-winning film Dallas Buyers Club, JeanMarc Vallée, has recently come under fire for casting cisgender actor Jared Leto (who won an Oscar for his portrayal of transgender Rayon) when many people believe that he should have instead cast a trans actor for the role. Vallée’s reasoning behind this decision was that he was unaware that there were any transgender actors, and claiming that he wasn’t “aiming for the real thing. [He was] aiming for an experienced actor who wants to portray the thing.” Yet despite this, many people have applauded Dallas Buyers Club for including a trans person’s story in such a prominent way in a film seen by millions of people. In contrast to Vallée’s decision to cast a cis man in the role of a transgender woman in his

film, hit TV show Orange is the New Black has been praised for casting transgender actress Laverne Cox in the role of Sophia Burset, a trans woman sent to prison for credit card fraud. Cox describes her character as “a multidimensional character who the audience can really empathize with—all of a sudden they’re empathizing with a real Trans person. And for trans folks out there, who need to see representations of people who are like them and of their experiences, that’s when it becomes really important.” And truly, this is what is important for people on the fringes of society – those who don’t fit into the small definition of ‘normal’ by society’s standards – being able to see people like yourself, represented in the media as more than a cheap joke or a flat, onedimensional character (if they are featured at all). This is partially the reason why so many people have an issue with Disney constantly featuring only white, straight, beautiful, skinny princesses in their films. Whilst there have been Disney princesses who are not white (Mulan, Tiana, Pocahontas, Jasmine), they are massively outnumbered by the likes of Ariel, Cinderella, Rapunzel, Snow White, Belle, etc. etc. On top of this, every single princess has been straight, with the vast majority of her storyline being about falling in love with her ‘prince charming’, or being rescued by a man. One exception to this (the other being Brave) is the most recent Disney offering, Frozen, which features two princesses, sisters Anna and Elsa. Some viewers of the film have interpreted Elsa’s power (she can control snow and ice) as a metaphor for her being queer. She is born with her powers, but is forced to hide them by her parents. Only once she accepts her powers (as shown in the fantastic song, ‘Let It Go’) can she learn to be true to herself. Yet many people take issue with this interpretation. Not only do many (homophobic) people argue against any interpretation of a Disney film that deviates from the ‘comfortable’ norm of cis, straight, and white, many people in the LGBTQIAP+ community are angry that they are forced to try and find representations of people like themselves in subtext, rather than being part of the canon story. However, it does not look as though Disney are going to be featuring a more diverse range of characters in their films anytime soon, meaning people in the LGBTQIAP+ community will have to continue searching for possible readings of Disney films as queer, rather than actually being given some representation within the films. Overall then, it is clear that society is slowly adapting to the idea that not everyone is a straight white male, and that people who do not define this way should not be punished or ostracised from society for it. Whilst it is taking a long time to change people’s opinions on the matter, LGBTQIAP+ rights have come a long way since the Stonewall riots of the 1960s, and hopefully they will continue to move forward until there is equal representation for all people within the media, and equal treatment for all within society. This can surely only come through the systematic destruction of what many people consider to be taboo or deviant behaviour. Hopefully one day soon, people will look back at how those on the edge of society were treated with disgust, realising that judging people based on who they are attracted to, or what they define themselves as, is seriously prejudiced and ultimately benefits no-one. Rachel Seymour

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ALICE IN ARABIA ZENA JARJIS looks at the controversy surrounding Alice in Arabia

ast month, ABC Family withdrew the pilot episode of TV drama Alice in Arabia. The show was green-lit a week before its cancellation, and was going to centre around a badly behaved teenage girl who is kidnapped by her Saudi Arabian family. The rest of the series would see the protagonist, Alice, try to escape her rich, evil grandfather, and return to America. Unsurprisingly, there was a lot of controversy surrounding the pilot. The Council on American-Islamic Relations expressed concerns that “the pilot and any resulting series may engage in stereotyping”. The media picked up on this, with one BuzzFeed article saying “We Got A Copy Of The Script For Alice In Arabia And It’s Exactly What Critics Feared”. The Guardian called the premise of the show “deeply problematic”, and even The Daily Mail condemned it as racist. With all this outrage, it isn’t difficult to see why ABC pulled the pilot. Based on the information released about Alice in Arabia, it seems like it could have been detrimental to the already damaged image of Arabs in the media. There was a danger that it would have perpetuated

the stereotype that the Middle East is a barbaric, backwards land where women are oppressed and any heroic westerner who tries to bring civilisation to these countries is punished. It still could have been an interesting story to tell. Before pulling the plug on the show, ABC released a statement saying that the protagonist of the show would be “intrigued by [Saudi Arabia’s] offerings and people whom she finds surprisingly d ive r s e in their views on the world”. If dealt with sensitively enough, Alice in Arabia could h av e

been an open-minded show which may have educated viewers about the Middle East. However, given the Arab stereotypes so prevalent in western media, a show which posits a Saudi Arabian as a stock villain would probably have done more harm than good. There hasn’t been a decent, prominent Arab in film or television since Aladdin, and there are so many fascinating stories which could be told about the Middle East but remain absent from the small screen. Alice in Arabia is not the problem, but the media climate in which ABC tried to release the show is. Maybe one day, when the depiction of Arabic people on television is less onedimensional, a show like Alice in Arabia could be made. When we have Middle Eastern characters who are not terrorists, oil sheikhs or sexist Islamic extremists, viewers may be ready to watch a show which tries to deal with such a sensitive, taboo subject matter. But until we start seeing Arabic characters who do not conform to any stereotypes, any show which depicts generically evil Middle Easterns will only damage the image presented of those people.

LITTLE SCREEN DREAM In light of the news that The Truman Show is coming to the small screen,

HOT/NOT Vision looks at the best and worst shows on our screens right now...

1. Hinterland The Welsh detective drama will air on BBC4 and has also been grabbed by Netflix. It’s been likened to ‘The Fall’ and ‘The Killing’.

2. Restaurant Wars

If you’re a fan of foody programmes, tune into this documentary series. It offers a behind the scenes perspective of the opening of a fine dining restaurant.

ZENA JARJIS looks at some other shows which have made the transition

NBC have brought About A Boy to TV screens as a sitcom which works as a condensed version of the original. It has received mixed reviews -will NBC be able to recreate the magic of the film?

10 Things I Hate About You was released as an American television sitcom in 2009 following the success of the film. The show failed to match its popularity and was cancelled soon after airing due to low ratings.

3. How To Get A Council House Do we really need another Channel 4 documentary looking into the welfare state? We’d had enough with Benefits Street.

4. Tom Daley Goes Global

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off inspired a 1990 sitcom. The series was unable to do the film justice and was cancelled after its first season.

The Teen Wolf TV series is thought to be better than the original film and a fourth season has recently been confirmed to air in June on MTV.

Why would anyone be interested in watching Tom Daley go backpacking with his ‘BFF’? Stick to your diving Tom.

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KATIE THOMAS looks at some of the most controversial episodes in the history of television...

Family Guy: ‘Partial Terms of Endearment’ This episode hasn’t been allowed to air in the US on Fox due to its portrayal of abortion which has been deemed both inappropriate and controversial. The episode features pro life activists voicing their views on the topic, followed by Lois going ahead with an abortion. All perhaps a little too dark for Family Guy.

The Twilight Zone: ‘The Encounter’ This episode of The Twilight Zone raised eyebrows when George Takei’s character squares off against a World War II veteran, and the two come to blows over a samurai sword. This caused controversy and was removed due to its racial content as well as the taboo of JapaneseAmerican disloyalty during World War II.

The X Files: ‘Home’

South Park: ‘Proper Use of a Condom’

‘Home’ pushes the boundaries by featuring an incestuous mother figure who is caught breeding with her sons. The X Files is renowned for its at times, shocking material, but this was a step too far for Fox who banned the episode from repetition. Surprisingly, ‘Home’ has been listed as one of the best in the X Files series.

South Park has been slammed by parents for its ‘over the top vulgar content’ and ‘tastelessness’. ‘Proper Condom Use’ was badly received by many for its depiction of teaching sex education to young children. In Australia, the episode even received an MA rating due to the featured sexual content and graphic violence.

A LAUGH OR A LET-DOWN?

Should real-life tragedies be depicted on fictional television shows? TOM and KATIE discuss...

outh Park, Family Guy and American Dad are adult animated sitcoms we’re all familiar with. These shows utilise controversial issues in a way that’s comical and it’s this shocking yet humorous format that largely accounts for the sitcoms’ popularity. However, the light-hearted humour has a tendency to veer into darker territory and whether this involves making references to racial stereotypes, gender biases or poking fun at issues of domestic violence, viewing can become quickly uncomfortable. Occasionally, a joke can go too far and cross the line of what’s considered acceptable to the majority, mainly through depictions of tragedies and real historical events. Family Guy on numerous occasions has ridiculed aspects of Nazi Germany; constant references have been made to Jewish stereotypes in a derisive manner, one scene featuring mocking comments towards the holocaust and another portraying a Jewish family hiding in an attic – their position given away to the Nazis by Peter Griffin munching loudly on crisps. Many say Seth Macfarlane’s shows should be taken with a pinch of salt, but it needs to be recognised that television undermining and discrediting events integral to our history for the sake of entertainment will disconcert a large proportion of the population. These shows appeal to a young audience, potentially an age group still forming opinions about historic issues. Airing this form of content has the potential to advocate the ridicule of racial groups, religion and tragic historic events through irony and sarcasm and it’s time tolerance towards depictions of this nature was discouraged. Katie Thomas

or my mind, to ask our television to dodge potentially difficult topics is to ask it to ignore the realities of the world we live in. Television, after all is a reflection of us, of our society. To simply gloss over these issues, to prudishly shy away from tough subjects, would be a disservice not just to audiences but to those affected by the issues portrayed. TV is the closest the majority of us can get to experience these things, and how those involved must have felt. If done well, television can give insight into these events that we never would have received, and provoke emotions we never would have felt about them. Yes, you might argue that South Park, Family Guy and other controversial (and for some reason mostly animated) comedies are occasionally guilty of poor taste. But if you want an unrestricted arts which is free to push boundaries, then you have to accept that some things just aren’t going to chime with you, or indeed, cause you to fume with anger. For every occasion where a TV show has caused offence, there have been a dozen others which have made us think, made us feel or which have helped to heal the wounds of the past. If the TV industry had never looked to tackle controversial subject matter, we probably wouldn’t have had the first TV same sex kiss on L.A Law, or TV shows which tackled abortion such as Felicity or Sex and the City. Hell, the exceedingly powerful US “think of the children” lobby would have probably found a way to prevent a show like Breaking Bad from being made under ground of glorifying drug culture. Now tell me, is that really a world you want to live in? Tom Davies

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BOOKS WHAT’S ON MY KINDLE...

WILL McCURDY @WillMcCurdy INFINITE JEST

(David Foster Wallace)

David Foster Wallace’s satirical take on a near future America is undoubtedly one of best novels of the past twenty-five years. It’s incredibly hard to summarise, on the basis that it covers just about everything in its length, from Canadian nationalism to tennis. With over 388 footnotes, some of which are pages long, it can make for punishing reading. But for those who choose to take up the challenge, it is an incredibly rewarding insight into how we live today. The author’s recent death only makes it more important to appreciate what he left behind, and his darkly comic magnum opus may be the perfect thing.

THE TWELVE CAESARS (Suetonius)

Sometimes the best comfort reading consists of things that actually happened. The ancient historian Suetonius’ famously colourful guide to the lives of the twelve Caesars entertains as well as informs, and its heady doses of political intrigue and drama should go down well with a post A Song of Ice and Fire audience. The world gets conquered, a city burns as a crazed emperor plays the harp, a donkey is made a senator. Like a thousand year old Vision, Suetonius never fails to deliver.

LEAVES OF GRASS (Walt Whitman) There is very little to say about this that hasn’t already been said. It’s one of the reference points for modern poetry as a whole, breaking from the conventions of time and formal structures. Though massive in America, Walt Whitman never really caught on here in any real way, which is very sad. Whitman’s impressionistic image of 18th century New York and heartfelt summoning of human feeling are unparalleled to this day. If this doesn’t particularly appeal to you, you’ll also be able to make lots of Breaking Bad references when you’re done. Why do you think he was called Walter White in the first place?

TABOO OR NOT TABOO Charlie Benson delves into the world of banned books

t is no coincidence that some of the most read and celebrated titles of our time were once – or currently are in some areas – banned books. The Library of Congress presented an exhibition in 2012 entitled: ‘Books that shaped America’, intending to spark a dialogue on the titles of most influence in society. Among those titles are many books that have at one time or another, in one place or another, been considered taboo and unfit for public consumption. The Scarlet Letter sparked outrage following its 1850 publication for sexual and pornographic obscenity, just as treasured and now widely taught British classics Ulysses and The Canterbury Tales have faced condemnation and censorship along similar lines. Boundary pushing, controversial titles have been attracting mass readership for hundreds of years. What is becoming apparent in the (supposedly) more forward-thinking, liberal society of today, however, is the prevalence of the overexertion of governments and education boards in their censorship of literature. It doesn’t seem to take much to qualify as boundary pushing and controversial. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone and Green Eggs and

Ham have all been banned in recent years for what appear to be tenuous reasons. Alice was said by the Chinese Government to be dangerous to the minds of children in its likening of animals to humans, Rowling’s bestseller has been struck down in areas of America for promoting dark arts and witchcraft, and Dr Seuss’ nonsense favourite has b e e n

restricted publication due to its apparent portrayal of early Marxism. There was a time in which society was far more morally sensitive to oversexed novels, as with The Scarlet Letter, or contexts in which potential for damaging influence of publications such as Mein Kampf, call for and even justify censorship. The banning

of works like Harry Potter and Alice in Wonderland, by contrast, is increasingly petty. Author Salman Rushdie has condemned the labelling of books as ‘taboo’ in an article for The New Yorker: “At its most effective the censor’s lie actually succeeds in replacing the artist’s truth… The assumption of guilt replaces the assumption of innocence.” It is fair to say that Rowling is not looking to insight an uprising of young witches, and no primary school child is opening Green Eggs and Ham and walking away with an opinion on Marxism. Sometimes literature need not be weighed down by the baggage of its context and the subjective perceptions of a few should not restrict the many. Each of these children’s books are written to inspire imagination, they champion innocence and explore the fantastical. To tell a child immersed in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland that they are doing something wrong, to attach the ‘taboo’ label onto something being enjoyed from an uncorrupted perspective – at that point censorship has overreached. Is Rowling encouraging the children of America to practice black magic, or has she just written an innocent piece of fiction our generation grew up with and loved? Can a story not simply be a story?

100 years of dylan thomas On the centenary of his birth, Maddi Howell re-visits some of his most famous poetry

he year 2014 marks the centenary of the birth of Dylan Thomas in 1914 in Swansea, a Welsh poet and one of the few names from my English A-Level which not only rings a bell but reminds me of the modest power that language can sometimes wield.

“Time held me green and dying/Though I sang in my chains like the sea” Wrapped up in all the drama you might expect of a seventeen year old, and slightly jaded by my course on the delights of pastoral literature, I expected little from Fern Hill and Poem in October. But Fern Hill seemed to invoke an imagined paradise of childhood, green and carefree, which avoided all the clichés of the pastoral that I was beginning to dislike. But Dylan Thomas is not all about frolicking in the daisies. He also has a dark side which appealed to my angsty, pensive teenage self. The lines: “time held me green and

dying/Though I sang in my chains like the sea” spring to mind. I remember the moment when I decided that actually, I quite liked what this Dylan Thomas had to say. I simply liked the way he put things across, and that still resonates with me as I re-visit his poetry. Poem in October becomes even more poignant this year. Thomas’s meditation on

reading these lines now, and as the academic year also rolls to an end, it offers a particularly dramatic and beautiful representation of transience: “And the true joy of the long dead child sang burning/In the sun./ It was my thirtieth/Year to heaven stood there then in the summer noon/Though the town below lay leaved with October blood”.

“It was my thirtieth/ Year to heaven stood there then in the summer noon/ Though the town below lay leaved with October blood.”

the passing of time marks his own birthday, “it was my thirtieth year to heaven”. On

Poet in New York is a brand new oneA off drama starring Tom Hollander and is based on the life and later years of Dylan Thomas. It will be broadcast on 30th April 2014 at 9pm on BBC Two. Don’t miss it!

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BOOKS Favourite 4: Unruly Reads CALLUM SHANNON @callum_shannon

oyd Milo B Boyd1 @Milo ’s Fermata.

the USSR upon publication, with many other communist states following. The presence of a talking pig was enough to condemn it to a similar fate across the Islamic world. Even in Britain, bastion of free speech, the book did not remain unmolested: Orwell had to wait three years to publish it as it was feared that the heavily anti-communist overtones would cause ructions with the USSR. Sadly, the banning of books for being considered inconsistent with current social thinking isn’t confined to the past. The Diary of Anne Frank, considered essential reading for teenagers by many, was blacklisted by the anti-Semitic Lebanese government laws on the grounds that it “Portrayed Israel, Jews and Zionism in a favourable light”. Uncle Tom’s Cabin, a revolutionary antislavery novel at the time of its publication in 1852, is a most uplifting read, reminding you that even in the most backwards parts of the

world in very oppressive times, some shred of simple human empathy existed. Sadly (or perhaps gladly, given the impact it had upon readers) it was blacklisted not only in many southern states of the US for its anti-slavery philosophy, but also in Tsarist Russia on the grounds of “undermining religious ideas”, though more likely because it promoted the basic human rights of equality and freedom from ownership, still withheld from millions of Russians still entrenched in serfdom. Being banned didn’t stop people from reading it however: Uncle Tom’s Cabin became the single bestselling book of the 19th century. Finally, I have to mention the novel version of one of the most infamous banned films of all time, A Clockwork Orange. Famous for being banned by its own creator, the dystopian story caused quite a stir upon its release, enough for author Antony Burgess to bring about its blacklisting.

New Release: the oversight TOM DAVIES

@tomdavies111

he Oversight is the first foray by acclaimed children’s author Charlie Fletcher, of Stoneheart trilogy fame, into the adult market. The book follows the exploits of the titular Oversight of London, a once large and proud organisation whose numbers have since dwindled to dangerous levels. The Oversight are tasked with defending the mortal world from the supernatural; basically the Scooby gang meets the Victorian Men in Black. Now the first thing worth stating about the book is that it isn’t a standalone novel, having clearly been written as the first in a series, and as such it’s difficult to gauge the relative merits of its story, because it’s really only just getting started at the book’s close. In many ways the book is even less of a standalone novel than the first book of Harry Potter or The Lord of the Rings, because it reaches no real conclusion whatsoever. Instead it essentially functions as a 400 page prologue teasing you with hints of what’s to come. The Oversight clouds it-

D.H Lawrence? George Orwell? Salman Rushdie? What’s your favourite taboo book?

hat is it about the forbidden that we find so enticing? Is it simple human curiosity and thirst for knowledge that drives us to do things we know we shouldn’t, or are we all simply anarchists at heart? Perhaps we will never know. But still, our obsession with the prohibited is fascinating. Nowhere is this more pronounced than our obsession with banned literature. There’s a unique allure to it within prose. Great writers have found themselves on the wrong side of censor laws and people with the will and influence to black out publications since the dawn of time, but still, their work survives. Throughout history, banning books has done nothing to stem their popularity, regardless of motive. Here are a few of my favourite books once banned for various reasons, which you can buy in secret, lock in a box under your bed and read alone at midnight so the overseers don’t catch you. A large number of George Orwell’s works were banned by various authorities around the world, but none more so than Animal Farm. Being a political dystopian novel, metaphor for the Russian revolution and told from the point of view of anthropomorphic animals, Animal Farm certainly caught the attention of censors. Its anti-Stalinist rhetoric saw it banished from bookshelves across

#NaughtyNov-

self in mystery, like the organisation itself. One character manages to be the focus of three chapters with not so much as a whiff of her motivations or even her name being revealed. Of course, none of this is necessarily a bad thing. If we take the book as just an introduction to Fletcher’s latest mythos then we must consider it a remarkable success, whereby I was left intrigued and excited about the prospect of more from the series. The world of The Oversight is a rare thing indeed, a well thought-out and unique new player in the fantasy genre, which has so long suffered under the weight of cliché and unoriginality. The supernatural baddies in the novels are markedly different from the goblins and ghoulies you’ve seen a thousand times before, and for that alone Fletcher can be particularly commended. Having said that, Fletcher seems to have had some teething problems in the transition from children’s to adult fiction. At times the general feel of the book is very young adult, which is not aided by a lot of the characters being strangely elevated and cartoonish for a book claiming to

be both Gothic and grown up. For example, one of the members of The Oversight is an overweight, matriarchal cook called, well, Cook, who used to be a pirate, and a genuine, cutlass wielding “arr me hearties” one at that. The villains are all moustache twirling panto villains with names like Magor, Zebulon Templebane and my personal favourite; Francis Blackdyke, Viscount Mountfellon, who might as well have just been called Lord Dastardly McBastard IV. They’re all good characters, rich and interesting and the rest of it, but they certainly add a level of comic book camp to a novel which seemed to have ambitions to be a touch darker then it perhaps came off. At times then you can feel like Fletcher is a touch confused about what he wants The Oversight to be, but as the first book in the series such an issue is to be expected. Ultimately, he could well be onto a winner here, giving us a new fantasy series with clear plans for a grand narrative, with a world which sets itself apart without cheap rehashes of Potter or dare I even say it, Twilight.

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Technology

Top tech tweet of the month:

Engadget @engadget

April 19

NASA crashed a satellite into the moon earlier, on purpose http://engt.co/1qWwZlp

Sooam: A game of clones

here are times I’m sure we’ve all wished we could be in two places at once. Well, you can’t, so stop daydreaming and do your work. However, if you happen to have sixty thousand pounds and an unhealthy attraction to one particular pet, then you could always have two of those instead. Sooam biotech, the South Korean research foundation has now perfected the science of cloning dogs and I for one am completely lost as to why. According to their website “Sooam not only perform dog cloning research, but we also heal the broken hearts.” This seems like a perfectly reasonable excuse to push forward in cloning research. I have two dogs myself and, although they’re very annoying now, I’m sure I’ll be very upset when they die. I doubt however that, even in five or so years, I’ll have £126,000 to throw around so I’ll probably have to live with it. But wait, Sooam have once again come to the rescue. Opening up a competition to have your dog cloned for free! Is it too good to be true? The competition has already been won, and the cloning was a success, so yes it is, at least for me. The dog in question, Winnie, now has an oddly similar friend, hilariously called m i n i - Wi n n i e. This is a far cry from our earliest attempts at cloning, when Dolly the sheep was cloned at the Roslin institute in Edinburgh in 1996, as dogs are considered

one of the most difficult animals to clone. Needless to say Sooam are very proud of themselves and no doubt set up the competition to showcase their almighty scientific ability and big brains. The foundation has come under criticism, though, some claiming that the practice is unethical and that it could lead to animal rights abuses. These claims seem largely unfounded, however, and with this kind of exposure it would be difficult for Sooam to hide any wrongdoings. The other criticisms levelled at them include the obvious fact that this procedure costs an outrageous amount of money, which could be put towards numerous better causes. There is also a distinct smell of capitalism about this whole affair. If Sooam were being honest their advising should read “Can’t face up to real life? Pay us to make your emotional problems go away”. In my opinion if you can’t cope with the loss of a pet you probably shouldn’t get one. I have no problems with the idea of dog cloning, if the procedure was used to clone, say, talented guide dogs or search and rescue dogs. Pet cloning on the other hand is a dangerous road to walk down. Sooam, you may think that you can fix broken hearts by throwing money around but I beg to differ. You’re just going to create a whole generation of spoilt children who think they can buy their way out of any problem that comes along. William Addy

Is virtual reality the future?

ith Facebook’s acquisition of Oculus VR, Sony’s reveal of project Morpheus and some excited previews by the press, it can be very easy to be swept away by the positive energy and excitement surrounding virtual reality. After all, what could be better for gaming than putting on a pair of goggles and observing carefully constructed worlds through the eyes of your player character? Except, immersion has never been too important for gamers. ‘This changes everything’ was the tagline for Sony’s PlayStation move at E3 2010. Unfortunately for Sony and Microsoft, the motion control battle of E3 2010 that would determine the ‘future of gaming’ changed very little. Despite allowing gamers to use motion controls to feel truly immersed in the title they were experiencing, both Microsoft’s Kinect and Sony’s PlayStation move failed to get off the ground with the core gaming audience. This was partially owed to the weak launch lineup of games but mostly because gamers failed to see the potential of these devices. If immersion was as great a concern for gamers as some might have you believe, surely these well reviewed and well developed pieces of technology would be more popular with their target audience. We see a similar problem with the rise and fall of 3D technology in home entertainment. Most consumers were bubbling with excitement about the technology; 3D TVs were on full display at trade shows and malls. But, after a while, consum-

ers experienced the technology and most were seriously underwhelmed. Many consumers suffered from headaches and eyestrain and most failed to see why to spend such an exorbitant amount of money on technology that felt gimmicky and underdeveloped. Since most consumers are evidently not crazy about products that increase immersion, in order to stand a fighting chance, virtual reality needs to take a cue from the failure of 3D and motion controlled entertainment and make sure it meets the following criteria. VR goggles cannot afford to be as bulky, cumbersome and downright uncool as they currently are; they can’t afford to look like failed early concept art of Robocop’s visor. The technology needs to become more compact to appeal to mainstream consumers. In addition, the technology cannot be gimmicky. Sony and Facebook cannot expect gamers to rally behind virtual reality if the technology feels under-cooked and software support is thin on the ground. Games and software needs to be VR compatible for launch. Lastly, the price cannot be too high. For most gamers, virtual reality is currently seen as a luxury, not a necessity and as such, to take off, virtual reality has to convince consumers that it’s a good value proposition. If VR can satisfy these conditions, it might earn a place in gamers’ homes and, as Mr Zuckerberg has indicated, the sky is the limit from there. Costas Mourselas

Recent developments in tech that we love Ocado’s 42” sLablet is our favourite April fools tech announcement. There is great accompanying video to go with the release, too

Logos Technologies are developing a silent hybrid motorbike for use in speial forces raids

Dutch fashion designer Borre Akkersdijk shows us his 3-D printed wearable Mp3 player

We love the Lego Game series and we love The Hobbit, so the new Lego Hobbit game definitely deserves a mention in our list

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Sex: Theatre’s last taboo?

any taboos in theatre seem to have been overcome. Plays that are politically radical, ardently feminist; those which explore themes like racism and class are now more common – or at least not viewed in the same disdain they once were. No one walks out during a production of Pygmalion or over the brutal violence explicitly portrayed in many Shakespeare productions anymore. But some things still provoke angry audience reactions; sex, whilst no longer taboo, must still be moderated to our tastes. Sex in itself has never been estranged from theatre. But people are now more content with occasional nudity and innuendo, because sex is such a key element in so much drama. In that sense, we have definitely moved on from it being taboo. The world of moralistic Victorian theatre, where anything even vaguely sexual had to occur offstage, is now completely

alien to a modern audience. We have been liberated. But sex still seems to be something that, although discussed in theatre, can be overdone. Yes, audiences seem happy to watch plays exploring ever more challenging themes, such as rape, bondage or gay sex. But once that passes a certain level, audience discomfort mounts. A recent production of Abi Morgan’s The Mistress Contract provoked mass walkouts during passages that discussed, at length, the act of fellatio. These days, a play that mentions fellatio would not have caused angst. But the continuation and basis of a long play on that topic does seem to still be too much for prudish Britons. Perhaps prudish is too strong a word; this is most likely the last controversy on stage today. It is more down to audiences just not being that sex obsessed, rather than a desire to cover up offensive images. The Edinburgh Fringe, long a centre for progressive plays, was criticised last year in The Independent for showing too much rape and sex on stage. But concerns seemed to be less over plays that used sex as a device and more

about plays whose sole focus was sexually explicit scenes. Yael Farber’s Nirbhaya, although brave and liberating in its portrayal of sexual abuse was, at the end of the day, a ninety minute production solely about violent sexual exploitation. Is that really something modern audiences want to pay money to go and see? One of the most historically famous and outrageous sexually scandalous plays was Howard Brenton’s The Romans in Britain. Here was a play that, for one scene of simulated male rape, caused nationwide fury and a profanity lawsuit in the Old Bailey. That was in 1980. The play was restaged in 2006, with no prevalent negative reaction. But The Romans in Britain was not a play about sex. The male rape, though horrific, was part of a plot line, and was done to prove a point. It was an anti-Imperialist play, and a play about power, not a sexual play. That is the key; one act in an hour or two of theatre is not controversial or taboo anymore. People are largely content to watch sex on stage. But audiences do not seem as happy to watch modern ‘taboo’ plays - ones which are constant, full on, sexual extravaganzas. Theatre today can discuss practically anything, and explore a multitude of previously taboo subjects in a very liberating way, including sex. But perhaps we’ve just reached our limit with graphic, aggressive, superfluous sex.

George Norman

“All the world’s a Stage”

…spoke Jacques to the Duke in As You Like It, as a mouthpiece for William Shakespeare circa. 1599. Though his particular drama is situated in Warwickshire, the English playwright more often utilised cities from the European continent as locations for his works than his own home soil. His works featured Italy (in total, one third were located here); other parts of England, France, Ancient Rome, ancient cities of Greece, and Sicily - spanning time from the Classical worlds through to Shakespeare’s contemporary Elizabethan era. Since their inception, these plays have not only sprawled time and the earth’s surface in their content, but have simultaneously extended the Bard’s influence from England to classrooms, university courses, libraries, and homes all over the globe. He incorporated all manner of political, cultural and racial backdrops in his works to present the world to London: all the world is on the stage. For the most part, his plays were written in English - second only to Mandarin Chinese as the world’s most widely spoken language - heightening their accessibility for everyone since the publication of the First Folio in 1623. The language of Shakespeare has come a long way in the world since then. In 2012, the GlobeToGlobe project began, which saw each of Shakespeare’s 38 plays performed by different theatre companies in their own mother tongue. What began two years ago

continues today with All’s Well That Ends Well still visiting the Globe through the Indian language of Gujarati and A Midsummer Night’s Dream in British Sign Language. Before the start of this year’s Globe season, the theatre played host to free performances of The Merchant of Venice, made possible by their affiliation with international company, Deutsche Bank. The aim of this annual collaboration is to bring Shakespeare to everyone, regardless of financial situation, especially students. Though, even during the season anyone from across the world can pay as little as £5

to stand (yes, stand, as tradition dictates) before a Shakespearean performance in Sam Wanamaker’s reconstruction of the Globe Theatre at London Bridge. The Bard’s expanded global influence inspired this American actor, director and producer from overseas to resurrect the memory of one of Britain’s greatest writers by initiating the Shakespeare Globe Trust in 1970. This Trust works to bring Shakespeare into education through an on-site exhibition; Study Days focused around specific performances; career opportunities; and various lectures and seminars hosted by academics from Globe Education. Within the study of literature on a global scale, encompassing the likes of Gabriel García Márquez and Bernhard Schlink, there is William Shakespeare too: a British writer appealing to and reaching a global audience. Everyone is a student of Shakespeare, young or old, whether you call yourself British or not, whether in education or not. The Globe Theatre facilitates the study of his work for everyone. We visit the Globe to see another culture, country, people, and set of customs on stage. While no one is certain he travelled much further than the distance between Stratford-upon-Avon and London, Shakespeare nevertheless delivered his works of English Literature from the Globe - on the south bank of the River Thames - to the entire globe on which it stands.

Megan Johnston

Online feature: Why Theatre Matters “Theatre rocks. It’s a living, breathing organism that blows through all of life... It will always survive.” Andy Bewley, DramaSoc Committee

“Underneath day-today niceties there’s a raw, emotional person being suppressed, and performance lets that out. Its good for people.” Lewis Dunn, ComedySoc Committee Chair

“Performance is not just about the productions that are put on, but the performers themselves. PantSoc is a community of friends with a common goal of having lots of fun, and putting on a show!”

Vicki Noble, PantSoc Committee Chair

“It is the fact it is live that makes it so exciting. It is a privilege knowing you are one of a few to witness this unique spectacle, this ephemeral art form.” Olly Brassell, TFTV Theatre Society Committee

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SPOT L I G H T: G I R L O N T H E N E T

Girl On The Net, a ‘filthy’ sex writer chats to Helena Horton...

“I

don’t perceive many things as taboos because I have few sacred cows of my own. I did once play out a scene that involved two people playing the parts of my religious uncle and aunt, although obviously we weren’t related in real life, beating the shit out of me because they caught me masturbating. As they beat me with a strap they told me to beg Jesus for forgiveness. Surely you can’t publish this, can you?” Girl On The Net is an anonymous sex writer, with an immensely popular blog, the purpose of which is to “be a sticky, filthy look at sex” and a book which is “part erotica, part manifesto”. She seems shocked that Vision is allowed to ask the probing questions I ask, and the frank and honest (and slightly naughty) answers she gives in return, repeating “are you allowed to publish this!?” at regular intervals. Her blog has a wider message than just writing about her sexual conquests and getting people off; she emphasized that “sex is still often seen as something that men want and women give to them, rather than something we women can revel and delight in for the sheer joy of doing it. Every day I see something new that implies men want sex and women want money, chocolate, shoes: anything but sex. The blog’s my way of challenging that.” She, of course, has to be anonymous. Most jobs, sadly, would not hire someone who openly wrote on the internet about how they enjoyed men ejaculating into their arsecrack. “I’m pretty sad that I have to be anonymous, to be honest. It’s mainly because - until I can guarantee that I will make enough money from sex writing, I have to keep the doors open to having a ‘clean’ career. Regardless of how open people might be about sex, there’s a worrying increase in the number of companies who’ll raid your social media profiles and either fire, or refuse to hire you if you say something controversial. That may or may not include talking about what you do with your fanny.” Anonymity isn’t always a bad thing though. Girl on the

Net receives stories, confessions and pictures of peoples genitals to her email, from people who open up because of her anonymity. “It is hands down, the best thing about what I do. People email me and say ‘Hey, I did something really filthy the other day and I’ve no one to talk to about it, so I’m just going to tell you the story because it sounds like you’ll appreciate it,’ And I really do.” When I asked about the most taboo thing that a fan has sent her, she couldn’t answer to protect their anonymity. However, she did share one story. “A guy once sent me a vid-

eo of himself jerking off in a nappy. Nappies don’t really do it for me, but it was so clearly something he LOVED, and he made this intensely hot grunting noise just as he came, and it made my head spin with lust. That was pretty amazing.” I try to keep my family and my love and sex life as far away from each other as possible, probably a symptom of my middle-class repression. Girl on the Net, on the other hand, has told her family, including her mum, about her sex blog! “My family know what I do, but not my blog name this was an agreement I struck with them a long time ago. They want to know what I’m doing so they can share in my successes (“Hey Mum, I just got an article in the Guardian!”) but without having to know the details that might make them a bit uncomfortable.”

Nappies don’t really do it for me, but it was so clearly something he LOVED, and he made this intensely hot grunting noise just as he came, and it made my head spin with lust. That was pretty amazing. Sex is a two (or more!) way street. GOTN’s blogs all involve other people, I asked what her sexual partners made of being written about in such a way. “Most of the guys I write about know they feature. Some of them have deliberately not read what I’ve written because it might be sad for them to remember. Others have gleefully embraced it. Others have masturbated furiously over it, then emailed me to say ‘I have genuinely never seen myself in such a hot light before.” I love it when that happens.’” One of the great things about GOTN’s writing is that sex isn’t written about as if it is a hushed sacrament- it is exalted for the messy, sticky and awkward thing it sometimes can be, which is a fantastic thing, because we are all human and are not going to all act like pornstars all the time in the sack. I asked her about her funniest sexual mishap. “Here’s a story I haven’t told: when I was with my first boyfriend, as soon as we were alone together in a room we would get naked and do sticky things to each other. One day, we were doing exactly this, and the phone in his house rang. His Mum grabbed the cordless phone from the kitchen, and wandered into his room. ‘GOTN,’ she said, ‘it’s for you.’ It was only when she got to the end of ‘you’ that she realised we were both entirely naked and entwined like we wanted to melt into one being. She stood there for about three seconds looking a bit surprised, then calmly walked over to the bedside table, put the phone down, rolled her eyes and left. That eye-rolling still kills me to this day. She was a fantastically sarcastic lady.” Although sex can be funny, GOTN still thinks that sex is something that we should take seriously. “We should take it seriously as a society and also as individuals understanding and embracing what you like (or don’t like) sexually, makes for much happier people. In my opinion. Sex is something that lots of us treat as a taboo, we speak about it in innuendoes and hushed tones, and would probably look at someone like they were mental if they started shouting about it like Samantha in Sex and the City. GOTN spoke to me about the relationships between taboos and sex. When asked whether sex should be a taboo, she gave an emphatic “Hell, no!”. However, “Breaking taboos can make for more playful sex. For instance, I am a big fan of consensual non-consent. This is deeply controversial, but actually it’s just a fun thing I do with my partner, because I like the physical sensation of struggling against him. But is it really breaking a taboo? I persuade myself at the time, although in reality, whenever I get unhappy, he’ll break off and go and make me a sandwich.” I asked whether the taboo nature of the stuff she writes, and the phrases she uses (“Fuck me in the ass because it’s filthy”) is done on purpose to draw people into the blog. She said no; “I use language like that because I love language, and I adore words, and I particularly adore those words. I sometimes spend hours reviewing certain blog posts be-

cause I feel like they’re hot but the language I’ve used hasn’t actually summed up exactly how hot it is. Plosive, angry, sweary words get across the guttural, animal lust way better than flowery metaphor and euphemism, in my opinion.” So, her blog is more frank and natural than a publication like Cosmo which talks about sex in hushed ‘cheeky’ innuendoes. However, Cosmo and the like are not seen to be breaking taboos. She answered; “because Cosmo goes just far enough to be able to describe it as ‘naughty’ but never far enough to shock people. Consider your own sex life - all the details, the mistakes, the messes, the hilarious farting incidents, the fantasies in your head that you’ve never told anyone: does it sound like a Cosmo article to you?” She gave us a sneak preview of her book: “There’s a wide, deep, stormy ocean of difference between something that’s sexy and something that’s hot. Hot hot. It’s the difference between something that makes you go ‘ooh’, and something that makes you go ‘unnngh’. “If a guy grabs me around the waist and pulls me towards him gently, there’ll be a tingling sensation in my limbs, something that says ‘hey, this is interesting. Pay attention.’ That’s an ‘ooh’ moment, and it’s sexy as hell. But if that same guy puts the same hands firmly around my waist and spins me around before pulling me towards him, pushing his swollen cock firmly up against my arse so I can feel it rubbing against me? “That’s ‘unnngh’. I feel a kick, deep in my stomach, as my whole body responds. I have no control over it – I don’t need to pay attention, it happens automatically. My muscles tense, my cunt starts to get slick, and waves of longing shoot up and down my arms. That feeling? That’s the feeling spanking gives me. Not for the whole session – I’m not overcome by gut-punching lust throughout. There’s a ‘pay attention’ atmosphere as I’m lying, or kneeling, or sitting semi-naked and waiting for the first thwack. But then, inevitably, something will happen that brings that hot feeling to the fore. “The first slap. Unnngh. A whispered ‘pull down your fucking knickers.’ Argh. “The sound of a belt being pulled through the loops of his trousers. Oh God. “It’s those things I’m chasing, not the pain. The pain is a sideshow. The pain is an accessory. The pain is not the point.” GOTN is not a fan of Cosmo; “Cosmo is mainstream because it goes so far but no further. So it benefits from this reticence by being able to be widely shared and talked about, and grab ad dollars aplenty. But the huge detriment of this is that... well... it’s just not true. “While individual sex tips might work for some people, and some Cosmo articles might ring true to individuals, the narrative they use is one of a homogenous mass of womanhood, who all desire the same things in the same ways. “And that is so far from the truth it makes me sad for the people who’ve been encouraged to believe it.” To close, I asked her to give us a non-Cosmo sex tip. “I used this for someone else the other day and they didn’t print it, but I’m going to keep using it as my top tip because it’s great: “Never ever “confess” your fantasies - enjoy them, boast about them, revel in them. Enthusiasm is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs.”

FEATURES

YORK VISION Tuesday April 29, 2014

FEATURES The other euroscepticism

www.yorkvision.co.uk/features features@yorkvision.co.uk

ANGUS QUINN explains the real reasons why we do so badly in Eurovision...

The 2014 UK entry, Molly Smitten-Downes, looking to end a long string of bad results for Britain

f you ever watched a Eurovision Song Contest Grand Final before 2009 you’d be forgiven for thinking the pan-continental singing competition was a political circus. Terry Wogan, embittered at countless dire results would coo loudly if Eastern European countries voted for one another and rue the day that the continent overlooked a dull jazz song delivered by an even duller bin man. The Contest was, it seemed, a fix: in 2007 no Western European countries made it out of the Semi-Final and until Germany’s victory in 2010 no Western European country had hosted the contest since the UK way back in 1998. The 2000s just were not the UK’s decade. Jemini infamously received nil points in 2003 for ‘Cry Baby’ and blamed the result on a backlash at the UK’s participation in the Iraq War. At the end of the decade the UK came last twice in space of three years and in the entire decade received just three perfect scores of 12 Points. If you bought Wogan’s version of events it was because the entire continent hated us, everyone voted for their neighbours, and nobody could appreciate the raw talent of entries like Scooch’s ‘Flying The Flag’. In the 2010s things aren’t going much better. 2011 saw boy band Blue stall in 11th place with 100 points, veteran crooner Engelbert Humperdinck underwhelmed with ballad ‘Love Will Set You Free’ only managing 25th place and Bonnie Tyler scraped in to the Top 20 in Malmö last year. In 2014 unknown Molly Smitten-Downes will fly the flag and it’s not difficult to see why the press already circling to pounce in the entirely possible likelihood that she tanks in Copenhagen in May. So apocalyptic are some perspectives on the Contest that it’s argued even if we sent world-dominating British artists like Adele or One Direction we wouldn’t emerge

victorious at the Contest. Frankly, Wogan and the press’s arguments are pretty laughable. Let’s start with the basics: the UK sent utter crap to the Contest in the 00s besides Jessica Garlick in 2003 and Jade Ewen in 2009. Pete Waterman produced the song in 2010, Scooch sang a song that took the piss out of flights, Daz Sampson cringed across stage with scantily clad school girls and in Kiev the one who didn’t make it into Girls Aloud implored the audience to touch ‘her fire’. The songs we sent never deserved to win because they weren’t good enough and it’s difficult to blame Europe for not bothering to vote for Jemini considering how awful they were.

A small group within the BBC chooses our entry and then we’re lumped with them There is neighbour voting at the Contest – that’s undeniable. The Ex-Soviets share points around, as do the Scandinavians and the Balkans but that hardly constitutes a withering political statement on AngloEuropean diplomatic relations. Tele-voters across the continent don’t actively decide not to vote for the UK because of any political bias; they just vote for other songs because it’s more to their taste. Neighbours are likely to vote for each other because they have similar music tastes and similar cultural sounds – the Balkans so commonly vote for one another because the various singers from the region all tend to be stars across it. We also don’t exactly have the most rig-

orous of approaches to trying to do well at the Contest. Since 2011 the BBC hasn’t bothered having a national selection and instead just picks someone at random to sing for the UK. Compared to our continental neighbours we’re actually pretty pathetic. A small group within the BBC chooses our entry and then we’re lumped with them. The BBC puts absolutely no effort into promotion, fails to send the act on TV appearances overseas and makes minimal effort to try and get radio airplay for the entry before the Contest. They have, at least in the last few years, gone to the trouble of recording music videos but Youtube views have rarely translated into votes on their own and certainly failed to do so in the case of Engelbert Humperdinck and Bonnie Tyler. By contrast, the effort of a lot of Europe when it comes to the Contest is incredible. Oil-rich Azerbaijan spent a whopping $5m on their act for the 2010 Contest in Oslo (only to finish 5th…), hired Beyoncé’s choreographer and routinely run a months-long selection process to pick their song. Sweden – perhaps the most Eurovision crazed nation of all – runs its selection process for Melodifestivalen for six-weeks every spring and it is required viewing for the nation. From 32 acts only a single song actually makes it the Contest and submissions for the contest regularly number in the hundreds. Putting the time and effort into the song makes an awful lot of difference and can produce fairly dramatic results. Germany in 2010 made perhaps the most dramatic change of fortune at Eurovision when they went from placing 20th in Moscow to winning the year after in Oslo with Lena and her song ‘Satellite’. They launched a search for an unknown, wrote a great song and promoted it heavily. It was already a fixture in charts across Europe before it had

even been performed at the Contest and won with a comfortable 246 points – Germany’s first victory since 1982. Perhaps the most fundamental point missed in any discussion of success or failure at Eurovision is the lack of emphasis given by the press to the running order. Now 26 countries perform in the Saturday Grand Final and since 2005 the winning song has always performed between 17th and 26th in the running order. Performing early is a death sentence for any song’s chances of winning. When Engelbert Humperdinck bombed in Baku, the press made little mention of the fact he opened the show with a slow ballad nor any acknowledgment that after 25 songs perhaps the crooner’s subtle ballad might be lost amidst the grand bombast of the other entries. Molly Smitten-Downes has in her song ‘Children of the Universe’ all the elements of success: quirky stage presence, strong song and a memorable hook. The fate of the UK on the night won’t be decided by political voting but will be dictated by where she’s drawn in the running order. If she ends up near the start we can kiss any hopes of ending up high on the scoreboard goodbye but if she gets drawn later on she has a real chance of doing well…or at any rate better than Bonnie Tyler did last year.

The main problem with the UK at Eurovision is that we have the wrong attitude but it’s proven that success isn’t beyond the grasp of Western European countries anymore The main problem with the UK at Eurovision is that we have the wrong attitude but it’s proven that success isn’t beyond the grasp of Western European countries anymore. This year we have the best chance of actually winning the whole shebang since Jade Ewen in 2009. Molly was found through BBC Introducing – the scheme that found Florence + the Machine – and sounds thoroughly contemporary. ‘Children of the Universe’ is likewise very radio friendly, has a great hook and has gone down a storm in the fan community something that hasn’t happened for the UK in a long time. If the BBC really ever is serious about winning the Contest though they need to put effort back into the Contest. It’s no longer the cultural irrelevance it once was after Loreen topped charts across the entire continent in 2012 and is a pretty exciting showcase for the best of music from across Europe. Politics isn’t what’s held the UK back at the Contest – it’s BBC apathy and a woefully misplaced sense of musical superiority. Of course neighburs will still vote for their neighbours at the contest We do it too though with Ireland and Malta. Politics has a role to play in Eurovision but it isn’t the be all and end all, and it won’t be what determines Molly’s fate in Copenhagen.

18 FEATURES

YORK VISION Tuesday April 29, 2014

The Name game: college ten

In the wake of the somewhat controversial reception to the name of Constantine College... TOM DAVIES and CALLUM SHANNON present some of the more (and less) likely candidates for College Ten’s namesake

CALLUM SHANNON

TOM DAVIES

CLITHEROW COLLEGE With the rumour mill ablaze that College 10 will be named after a woman, there’s no other choice for me than Saint Margaret Clitherow. Often called the “Pearl of York”, Clitherow was a Roman Catholic martyr who was excecuted in the city for harbouring Catholic priests in 1586. Clitherow was lain on a sharp rock and crushed to death at the end of the Ouse Bridge. Her strength and virtue make her an ideal candidate, and it doesn’t hurt that her surname has a certain gravitas about it which lends itself well to a college name.

CLITHEROW

FAWKES COLLEGE Carrying on York’s proud tradition of troublesome Catholics, the York born infamous gunpowder plotter could well end up having a college named after him one of these days, particularly with the proposed plans to eventually double the size of the University. However his chances of being the namesake for college ten are signiifcantly slimmed by his gender, his controversial legacy and an attempted regicide. But the prospect of Fawkes College is certainly not a total impossibility.

CABLE COLLEGE The Liberal Democrat MP for Twickeham, Secretary of State for Business, Innovation and Skills, and former Treasury Finance Officer for the Kenyan Government is a lesser known export of our city. Born in York in 1943 and twice the losing SDP candidate for the York parliamentary constituency before joining the Lib Dems, Cable’s candidacy for college fame suffers from many of the same drawbacks as Harman’s, chiefly a lack of political neutrality. Also, Cable College is, let’s be fair, a really stupid name.

BONELESS COLLEGE Ivar, called ‘the Boneless’ was a 9th century Viking beserker and King of Northumbria, ruling from York. Although many have spoken in support of a college which references our cities Viking history, however, Ivar is probably not our best option. Asides from the potential dubiousness of naming a college after a bloodthirsty Norse warlord who once allegedly tied a man to a tree and shot him the death with arrows. But also the fact that Boneless College sound’s like the latest meal deal at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

FRONT RUNNERS

CLITHEROW COLLEGE: 4:1 WARD COLLEGE: 8:1 CHASING PACK

FAWKES COLLEGE: 18:1 HARMAN COLLEGE: 26:1 SEVERELY UNLIKELY

DENCH COLLEGE: 72:1 CABLE COLLEGE: 300:1 TOTAL MADNESSS

BONELESS COLLEGE: 4,000:1 KALLUM KOLLEGE: 10,000,000:1

WARD COLLEGE Ward

College

One of the most successful female economists of the 20th century (some would say the mother of sustainable development), life peer, policy adviser, environmental activist and born right here in York, Barbara Ward has a very strong case to have a college named after her. Baroness Ward’s interdisciplinary fields of speciality and humble background, make her relevant to students from all walks of life. Whilst a front runner for the name of college 10, her common surname might hold her back a bit. It’s hardly Vanbrugh is it?

HARMAN COLLEGE New Labour, New College

Harriet Harman is arguably one of York’s most successful graduates. She is the longest serving female MP in the House of Commons, holding various cabinet positions, briefly serving as the leader of the Labour Party after Gordon Brown’s resignation, and currently serving as shadow deputy Prime Minister. Being one of the few living people on this list, she’d even be capable of officially opening college 10 herself ! Sadly for Harriet, her lack of political neutrality lowers her collegiate chances somewhat.

DENCH COLLEGE National treasure and York local Judi Dench has an outside shot of pinching the name of the next college and potentially becoming the Hes East equivalent of Derwent, becoming the new campus’ “Lad” college (what sort of self-respecting “UNAYYY!!” type wouldn’t want to live in the Dench college?). Sadly, not being an academic or having much connection to the university, Judi’s chances remain slim, though my personal inkling tells me should could be the dark horse.

KALLUM KOLLEGE What could be a better for Kallum to seal the legacy of his two terms as YUSU president than having a college named after him? Who needs the shadow deputy PM when we have our own president? There’d be no shortage of college merchandise either, as Kallum would probably be able to supply scarves from his own private warehouse. Having his own college would also give Mr. Taylor something to do when he leaves office, creating a nice, cushy provost job for him. Everybody wins!

YORK VISION

FEATURES

Tuesday April 29, 2014

INTERVIEW: DERREN BROWN OSCAR PEARSON chats to illusionist, mentalist and trickster extroadinaire Derren Brown

erren Brown probably knew my questions before I even asked them: he is the country’s best (and most famous) magician after all. Well, I say magician – he would tell me off for that. Illusionist. There’s no such thing as magic. I’m in Woking for Derren’s touring show Infamous; his opening line that “we are all trapped inside our minds” rather apt for an engrossing evening in which psychological trickery at its most astonishing baffles an enchanted audience. Afterwards, I spoke to the BAFTA-winning mentalist for Vision about parrots, stalkers, his critics and more. Derren is known globally for his Channel 4 shows and, at risk of sounding unoriginal, I begin by asking about this fame. When not performing his natural character is one of a quiet nature – reserved – so does he actually enjoy his celebrity status bringing both intense public interest and media scrutiny to his daily life? “You don’t find yourself any happier just because you get well known – everything just gets more extreme. It’s quite interesting,” he says. “I have several long-term stalker-types who believe themselves to be in a relationship of some sort or another with me.”

career path. “By the time I had graduated I had learnt how to hypnotise and was able to scrape a living together doing that.” He describes his twenties as a “glorious” decade in which he “pottered around cafés with my parrot, doing one magic gig a week to fund my flâneuring needs.” Derren, patron of Lincolnshire’s Parrot Zoo, currently keeps his own blue quaker, Rasputin, with his partner. It wasn’t until the turn of the millennium when Derren really redefined the genre of ‘magic’ with his Mind Control television series. He is often open (and, to a certain extent, firm) about having no psychic abilities at all, instead he identifies a “suggestible character” and reads body language, which is “less easy than I thought.” Whilst an easily-led drama student might be unsurprisingly responsive, Derren says, he’s “still thrown by characters who seem far more closed off yet toss themselves wide open to suggestion. It remains one of the most fascinating and underexplored aspects of personality.” The essence of his live performance is an act of revenge over those who bullied him at school. On announcing that he was nicknamed ‘Dickbrain’ throughout

As much as I think it’s important to destigmatise mental illness and champion the efforts to dispel myths surrounding it, it’s sometimes very tricky to be on the receiving end of people’s psychoses What, as a lover? “I’m cast as anything from husband, aggressor, attacker, father of their child... and they’re caught up in this presumably completely convincing fantasy. That’s often exhausting and miserable.” So with fame, he declares, “the nice things get nicer and the horrible things get more horrible.” It becomes clear that life is not all rosy – “as much as I think it’s important to de-stigmatise mental illness and champion the efforts to dispel myths surrounding it, it’s sometimes very tricky to be on the receiving end of people’s psychoses,” – but what about the benefits of his superstar image? “The best thing about being me is that people seem to have decided they like me before we get to know each other, and that’s very nice. One side of the ground work of getting to know people has been done and normally in a positive way. That’s lovely.” Derren read Law – “really? Law?!” he exclaims, still puzzled at why he chose to study it – and German at Bristol before embarking on a quite separate

childhood, Derren proceeds to execute a sequence of staggering tricks all in view of showing his bullies what he can do that they can’t. And with Derren’s foes now no longer bullies but critics, I ask for a message to those believing his television work to be simply a setup. “I have no message. You have to let people think what they like in life.” What about the criticism itself ? “I’d be disingenuous if I didn’t admit it was frustrating when a few people spread their cynicism on Twitter like it’s fact. Occasionally it’s useful information: I don’t think much of hypnotising someone rapidly in a TV show but am sometimes reminded that people might balk at that and need a clearer explanation of how that’s perfectly possible. There’ll always be people at one end of the bell-curve who think I’m genuinely psychic, and those at the other end who refuse to believe we’d ever go through, say, the eightmonth madness of setting up the Apocalypse for someone, and therefore it must all be fake. You can only really feel responsible for the people in the middle of the

Derren Brown is perhaps Britain’s best known illusionist bell-curve, and there doesn’t seem to be any way of guarding against the critics.” Derren takes the example of Steven from Apocalypse who “looked like a guy in a noodle advert.” This was enough, he says, to start a story of him being an actor. “I guess that would mean his family and friends in the show were all actors too. It makes no sense, but whaddyagonnado? You have to let it go and concentrate on making strong and ambitious work.” That particular programme, in which Derren persuaded one man to believe the world had ended after a meteorite shower crashed into the earth, leaving only a few survivors infected with a zombie-like virus, raised a number of ethical questions: to what degree is it justifiable to inflict such potentially damaging experiments on unsuspecting individuals? “The responsibility towards the people who take part in the big TV stunts like Steven is very important. Here we are putting someone through a big moral lesson, and through a dark journey to get there, but who are we to presume,” Derren questions. “What right do we have? And how do we know he’ll be all right? These are all important questions to consider,” but he asserts that “we go to great lengths to make sure that they’re answered in detail, even if those aren’t things that form part of the editorial thrust of the show. They’re real-life issues to make sure you get right.” Yet equally Derren argues he has a responsibility to offer

“useful information about supernatural claims, so that people can make good decisions about whether to give their money to people who peddle their wares in those areas.” “Of course, I generally work with deception too, so I try to put a theatrical framing around what I do – and a clarity of ‘this isn’t real’ – to distinguish it from the work of those who tell you they have genuine paranormal ability,” he says. “It leads to some interesting performance areas where belief can be played with or challenged in a rewarding way.” Indeed the second half of Infamous sees volunteers assemble on a dark stage to become Derren’s puppets as he investigates the “possibility of mediumship”. Whilst continually reminding his

we fool ourselves with this kind of thing.” It is clear that Derren’s sharp and perspicacious character makes his psychological manipulation so impressive – and this enigmatic persona even leaves me wondering whether his rare liveshow mistakes are actually deliberate, in order to keep us believing that his abilities are genuine. Surely nobody, without the aid of some crafty and discrete behindthe-scenes assistance, would play Russian Roulette on live television? Surely nobody could convince ordinary people to commit armed robberies in the street, successfully predict the National Lottery, or hypnotise a man to assassinate Stephen Fry? Surely his magic can’t really exist; if it does it is a pretty scary concept,

The responsibility towards the people who take part in the big TV stunts like Steven is very important. Here we are putting someone through a big moral lesson and through a dark journey to get there, but who are we to presume? audience that “nobody has the right to trample on people’s memories” he recalls, with chilling accuracy, their recollections of the dead. “I sometimes re-create the work of psychics and mediums hopefully more convincingly - but there has to be a kind of conflicting and simultaneous meta-message that it’s all nonsense. That

if mind control is a thing. But for a lot of his followers, the fun is not knowing. And personally I don’t think it matters… Derren’s work brings wonder and delight to an enormous number of people right across the world and, as Derren himself once hinted, there is no question he is a national treasure.

20 FEATURES

YORK VISION

INTERVIEW: DENIS HEALEY

Tuesday April 29, 2014

GEORGE DABBY spends an afternoon with the 96 year old Labour grandee Lord Healey

gainst the backdrop of untainted Sussex countryside in glorious spring, Lord Healey sits in his conservatory guarded by an imperious collection of classical music and literature, much of which he has authored himself. His cavernous and constantly caricatured eyebrows affirm that even at the age of 96 he is not done with the business of life just yet. He rises from his chair with an overdone theatrical groan. But in May, only a week away, he will resume swimming lengths in his outdoor pool. As an interviewer you cannot escape the fact that you are sitting before a statesman who shaped history. He had his first job in government – as a reforming Defence Secretary – nearly fifty years ago. Before that he met and dealt with the most important people in the postwar world. He is one of the few people alive who can (and does) say: “as I told Molotov … when I saw President Truman.” He dealt with all his contemporaries with unwavering Yorkshire wit and frankness, cultured by adamant democratic socialist commitment. He was part of a political generation that people actually respected, and many saw Healey as ‘the best prime minister we never had.’

and Picasso, to illustrate two of the most contrasting figures of his contact book. One expects he was just ‘Denis’ to everyone – and they were just ‘Mikhail’ and ‘Pablo’ to him. This is not the first time I have met Lord Healey. We had a brief encounter in 2011 and my abiding memory was when he gravitated me towards two photographs that hang in his dining room. “What’s the difference?” he asked. I stumbled. I wanted to say something profound to this man, but all I could see was a group of young, smiling African children in one and a sepia portrait of a rather morose Dutch couple in the other. After a long pause, Healey turned to me and pointing at the sepia portrait he simply remarks, “they have shoes”. Like crucifixes of the socialist household, these photographs seem as good a place as any to start. “Ah yes, the boring Dutch burghers”. Healey’s famous sense of humour has not left him. After several attempts at a photograph, he eventually stops ‘gurning’, the northern tradition of making contorted facial expressions, and composes for a proper photograph. This is the same Healey who likened parliamentary attacks by his opposite number,

Live. Pursue all of your interests at university and don’t enter a career in politics straight away. You cannot speak with conviction about things you do not know To put this in perspective, this is a man who withdrew British troops from Suez, rebuilt a broken economy as Chancellor in 1974, saved the Labour Party from possible extinction in 1981 and has spoken with Gorbachev

Geoffrey Howe, to “being savaged by a dead sheep” (and years later, when Howe attempted a riposte, to “being nibbled by a hearth rug.”) Unsurprisingly, he won an award for the funniest statesman in Europe. He is deadly serious

Lord Healey spent over twenty years in frontbench Labour politics about being funny though, and laments the lack of characters in the current crop at Westminster. He doesn’t think that Ed Miliband “has much of a hinterland”, a trend of today’s career politicians who “don’t have much experience of the real world”. Hinterland, German for ‘beyond the horizon’, is the term made famous by Healey to denote the skills, hobbies and pleasures that statesmen enjoy outside of office. Alongside a love of art and music, he has authored books on photography and proudly recalls using one of Kodak’s earliest cameras, the Box Brownie, at the age of eight. I ask him what his advice would be to students at York looking to pursue a career in politics and his response is immediate: “Live. Pursue all of your interests at university and don’t enter a career in politics straight away. You cannot speak with conviction about things you do not know”. Britain’s two most controversial recent prime ministers, Blair and Thatcher, were guilty in Healey’s eyes for this. Blair was “all right for the first three years” but after 9/11 “got most things wrong” while Thatcher was a “disaster for students”, whose legacy and ideology of privatisation has resulted in today’s state being unable to offer proper support for the cost of tuition. He remains “very surprised” that there isn’t greater revolt against the rise in tuition fees and that students increasingly accept the maximum cost of £9000 that the University of York imposes. I

put to him the gripe that students are too apolitical and he concurs that they are. Of course during Healey’s time as Secretary of Defence the world was gripped by ‘the war that never was’ and the very real possibility of nuclear catastrophe. Despite these events, he feels that the biggest change among students wasn’t the fall of the Berlin Wall but the fall of the “class wall” and with it a symbol of solidarity that protest movements could revolve around. Class in modern politics is “meaningless” he says with an air of deflation. Despite his own attempts to bring this wall down as Chancellor, promising “howls of anguish” from Britain’s richest earners

of York’s then plethora of bookshops that engulfed the city. The death of independent bookshops in York is a real concern for Healey, as are the proposals for the Coppergate shopping mall, which will infringe upon and diminish the sight of Clifford’s Tower. Alongside his late adversary Tony Benn, Healey put his name to a petition against the construction of the shopping mall and shares the concern of York’s citizens that the city’s heritage is increasingly under threat from new developments. My afternoon with Lord Healey has left me longing for a different era of government. The qualities of statesmanship that Healey exudes makes you long for an era

Despite these events, he feels that the biggest change among students wasn’t the fall of the Berlin Wall but the fall of the “class wall” and with it a symbol of solidarity that protest movements could revolve around (he spiked Britain’s top rate of income tax to 83%), we cannot yet equate the absence of class in political discourse with an absence of class in political structures. An adoptive Yorkshireman, Lord Healey still retains a great love of York. He recalls a campaign trip to York in support of a Labour MP in 1983. To the annoyance of his advisors, his schedule became “hopelessly derailed” when he came across one

where correctness meant standing up for principles and political invective meant more than stale charges of being ‘out of touch’. To conclude the interview, he urged the students at the University of York to cherish our time at university and never postpone the chance to cultivate new interests. The final imperative, he says, is to protect and preserve the “beautiful and unique city” of York and to that I say: Amen.

YORK VISION

LIFESTYLE

Tuesday April 29, 2014

Page 21 - Paintsplash Style Page 22 & 23 - 12 Shoes for 12 Lovers Page 24 - Food and Summer Dating Page 25 - Travel

Peaking

AINT

he menswear fashion collections will run from the 15th-17th June 2014. We can’t wait to see what the spring and summer shows have to offer! Here’s David Gandy in Dolce and Gabbana at the first Burberry spring show...

Splash!

Trending

et festival ready and style your hair to match your outfit - depending on what mood you’re in! L’oreals Hair Chalking is the ultimate salon experience available near the Minster at Bang Hair on Petergate. Alternatively, wet styled hair and apply your colour of choice before drying to lock the colour in.

e loved the arty prints and playful brush strokes on the S/S/2014 catwalk, from hues of blue at Kenzo to fluorescent colour at Celine. Step away from the pastel florals and inject some craziness into your wardrobe palette. The future looks bright...

Fading

Printed Dress £29.99, Zara

Bold Abstract Top £36, Warehouse

Blurred Lines Clutch £18.50, ASOS

e disa p prove of Kim K a r d a s h i a n’s recent choice of denim. Upper thigh revealing torn jeans were hardly ok when Christina Aguilera went through her ‘Dirty’ phase. We’d avoid baggy crotches too Kim, sort it out before you fray away...

Maddi Howell

22 LIFESTYLE

YORK VISION

Tuesday April 29, 2014

for

12 Shoes

12 Lovers To keep up-to-date with Sebastian Errazuriz’s work, follow him on

A collection by Sebastian Errazuriz

omen and shoes: we often tend to associate one with the other. One could even go as far to say that a woman’s shoe is a subtle reflection of herself – the sexy red stiletto for the woman who likes to look glamorous, no matter how uncomfortable the experience may be; the sturdy brown hiking boot for the woman who appreciates comfort and practicality for her outdoor adventures; perhaps even the humble pump for an easy ‘slip-onslip-off ’ experience; and of course we have the woman who makes use of all of these shoes, and more. New York based artist Sebastian Errazuriz has gone one step further by creating a collection of 12 shoes, each representing one of his past female lovers. However, Errazuriz’s collection does more than allude to each woman’s personality; rather, each shoe is a symbol of a failed relationship, while the collection as a whole aims to “expose contradictions and absurdities that challenge everyday life, and address deeply seated taboos.” The collection 12 Shoes for 12 Lovers was created in collaboration with shoe company, Melissa, each shoe being meticulously sketched and then ‘brought to life’ using 3D printing techniques in order to capture each minute detail. Each design is also accompanied by an ingenious name which not only links directly to the aesthetic design of the shoe, but also captures the nature of each lover. However, other than just being a work of art for the viewer to observe, Errazuriz accompanies each shoe with a short story, told from his perspective. This important element creates a link between the shoe and the relationship it is trying to portray, while still leaving enough to im-

Facebook: www.facebook.com/sebastian. errazuriz or Instagram: @sebastianerrazurizstudio

agination for the viewer to speculate on what else might have been. The first piece ‘Honey,’ refers to a dainty yellow shoe, sculpted as though it is made out of honeycomb, which tells the story of ‘Natasha,’ who Errazuriz broke up with after realising that he “couldn’t get used to being treated so nicely.” By contrast, shoe number 3, a gold, chunky number which includes an Atlasesque figure who appears to be burdened with the weight of the shoe, speaks of ‘gold digger Alison’ who leaves Errazuriz for her boss, when she realises that he can provide more for her in terms of material wealth. But perhaps the most successful part of Errazuriz’s shoe collection is its stark honesty. Each story does not fail to mention any of the fundamental elements of the relationship – sexual or emotional. Furthermore, whether being the heartbreaker or having his own heart broken, Errazuriz is not reluctant to be subtly critical of his own place in the relationships, often recounting his feelings as if they are from his own thought processes. The shoe collection is not only a beautiful selection of art, but it is also a completely relatable chain of stories, which makes use of the simplicity of a shoe as a metaphor. By doing so, Errazuriz creates a tool to draw together Errazuriz’s personal experiences to the types of relationship issues that everyone is prone to, no matter who they are. The novelty of shoes as art feels like a bizarre concept drawn from the ridiculous mind of Carrie Bradshaw but in practice is both breathtaking and revolutionary. After all, fashion is at its best when embraced as an art form.

Selina Pope

The collection as a whole aims to “expose contradictions and absurdities that challenge everyday life, and address deeply seated taboos.”

LIFESTYLE

YORK VISION

Tuesday April 29, 2014

Shoes are a labour of love..

“HONEY” NATASHA

“ICE QUEEN” SOPHIE

“THE BOSS” RACHEL

“CRY BABY” ALEXANDRA

“HOT B*TCH” CAROLINE

“GI JANE” BARBARA

“GOLD DIGGER” ALISON

“THE VIRGIN” ANNA

“THE GHOST” VALENTINA

“HEART BREAKER” LAURA

“JET SETTER” JESSICA

“THE ROCK” ALICE

24 LIFESTYLE

YORK VISION Tuesday April, 29, 2014

Blind Date

@TomDavies111

Davies’ Diaries

e’re back, and quite frankly I’m bloody sick to death of that being the only thing I can think of to begin my start of term columns with. But we are back, it’s succinct, it’s accurate. And you have to be bloody succinct in this column because they refuse to give me any more than 500 words. Consistently pointing out to me that doing so would infringe on the space reserved for Blind Datehich you would normally find to your right but which they apparently aren’t doing this edition. They assure me people actually like Blind Date, as opposed to my column, which is read by nobody except my grandfather (hello granddad), my housemates and apparently now you. The point which I’ve gotten slightly sidetracked from there is that whilst we are indeed back every term, this time it actually is different, because this is third term and therefore time to PANIC! PANIC YOU LAZY, DRINK SODDEN SCUM! The approach of exams puts me in the mind frame of the first five minutes of Saving Private Ryan. The boats drifts ever closer to the beach as the beckoning machine gun fire steadily grows louder and louder. We know that some of us will live and others will perish. A chap at the prow of the landing craft unnecessarily heralds our approach with shouts of “FIFTEEN SECONDS! TEN SECONDS!” over the deafening din. The good news is that statistically speaking one in three of you are first years. If you count yourself amongst that merry band, then well done, but please be so kind as to stop reading this before I reach out through the page/computer screen and strangle you. First years insist on worrying about exams which really, and please believe me here, are absolutely impossible to fail. Those who have come before you are not being particularly hyperbolic when they tell you that you can get 40 on a first year exam by turning up, scribbling your name down, spelling it wrong, urinating on the exam paper and walking out. I am now a second year, where exams do matter, which is great because I’ve recently realized that I spent the majority of this year watching television, drinking whatever bottle of red wine happened to be under a fiver at the Osbaldwick Sainsbury’s Local and thinking of things to write about for this damn column. In the end I guess if I’ve got a message for this edition it’s this. Firstly, try and enjoy yourself this term, and remember that this examination/essay/dissertation period is not, even if it might feel like it, the end of the world. My second message is as follows: Put your head between your legs, brace for impact and pray, pray with all your might to whatever god you call your own that the axe of misfortune falls on some other poor bastard and that you and yours get through the campaign relatively unscathed. It’s true that it’s not the end of the world if you fail. The world will carry on, irrespective of whether or not you spend the next thirty years on the dole. I jest obviously, or at least I think I do. I don’t know. What is life? Why are we here? Why am I still single? I don’t know the answers. Which, as the date of my first exam gets ever closer, is rather the fucking point.

SARAH ON HUGO HUGO ON SARAH What do you look for in a guy?

Are you looking for anything serious?

Nothing in particular, I don’t have a ‘type’ that I would always

No not at the moment, the date was really fun but I just

go for. As long as they’re funny and fun to be with!

don’t think I would have time for a relationship

What was the first thing you noticed?

How did she look?

His ring on his right hand ( his ex gave it to him but he can’t get

Really nice, not too casual, not too dressed up, I was im-

it off now)

pressed.

What did you have to eat and would you go to the

What was the funniest thing she said?

Rose&Crown again?

Talking about her antics in school was pretty funny, hear-

I had macaroni and cheese with ham hock. I would recommend

ing about all the rude things she said to teachers made me

it, it was a nice pub and a good place for drinks with friends.

laugh!

What did you talk about?

What did you have to eat?

All sorts - subjects, freshers, families, our pet hamsters, the

I had Chinese noodles with chicken (although it was more

schools we were at before uni (we are both in first year),

like really thick spaghetti), was nice though.

Was he a gentleman?

Did you end on a hug, a kiss or more?

Yes he was, even walked me home.

We hugged in the rain-it was so romantic haha!

If you met him in Willow would you go home with him?

Where would you take her for a second date?

No, I’m not that type of girl. For the ideal second date I’d like

That is a very tricky question, we have already been for

to go clay pigeon shooting or for another meal. I’ll probably see

a meal, and the cinema is a bit cliche, I would want to do

him on campus again at some point anyway as we are both in

something fun, so I think I would take her to a cake deco-

Derwent together and in first year!

rating class...

Marks out of 10?

Marks out of ten?

Definitely 7, it was a really good evening.

A solid 7.5/10

Dating Update Although Verity and Vincente had a wonderful time and their alliterative names suggested chemistry, there was sadly no spark and after some rudeness from one side, the other gave up (#heartbreak). They have retreated to their separate boudoirs and have not spoken since.

Blind Date was kindly sponsored by The Rose & Crown, Lawrence Street. We also recommend the cocktails and the pies in this cozy setting not far from campus or town.

LIFESTYLE

YORK VISION Tuesday April, 29, 2014

THE JET SET

YES NO

VIsion gives you the five hottest party island destinations you need to book tickets for this summer

Izzi Graham

Ibiza

If you want sun, sea and nightlife that has proven itself for decades, Ibiza is the destination for you. Lively and closer to the UK than any of the Greek resorts, it is clubbing convenience at its finest.

Malia

New kid on the block Malia makes its USP the number of high profile DJs it attracts to its mega-clubs. For a tiny Greek resort it more than punches above its weight.

very year there are horror stories reported of teens being reckless, drinking too much and getting hurt when abroad with their friends. So these holidays can only be a bad thing, right? Wrong. We should not let these incidents, which are far in the minority, put us off what can be a fantastic trip and a positive learning curve. So you’ve finished school, just turned 18 and are excited to go away with your friends and have some independence. This means you have to take care of yourself and anyone who’s done this will relate to the panic of thinking you’ve lost your passport (usually to find it’s in your hand, these are the things you will laugh about later!) For a young adult, particularly one who is about to move out of the family home, this can be a taster of just how much there is to think about when you go it alone. The knock on effect of this

is that you begin to appreciate how much your parents do for you, as we see teenagers confessing on programmes such as Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents. I know I finally understood just why my parents get so stressed at airports! The other major plus of this kind of holiday is how close you become with the people you go with. Yes, you’re bound to have a few fallouts – 10 teenagers often intoxicated or suffering a hangover is not a situation for peace treaties – but the bond you form from spending so much time together, taking care of one another and sharing such amazing experiences means these are people you will not forget in a hurry. My post-exam holiday was made by the people I went with and we can sit for hours going over the whole thing – the good, the bad and the downright embarrassing! We have made memories that will stay with us for the rest of our lives.

Adela Iacobov

hould getting smashed every single night, being hungover every single day and repeating this until you go back home, be the sole purpose of your holiday abroad? Absolutely not! Unless you are 12, have never been to a proper party and have never had an alcoholic drink, you should not consider the fact that you managed to not sleep in your own vomit a victory. Seriously, if you still feel like you need to travel to Zante, Malia or Magaluf just to get drunk and have fun in a crowd of people who all eventually end up throwing up everywhere, they probably passed out in a pool of, well, you can guess. You’ve obviously been overprotected or lived in the most boring place on Earth. If that’s the case: you can get drunk and have just as much fun anywhere. With a little luck you’ll find a place to do so where the average age is higher than 15, where people are over the ‘Woohoo, I’ve just discovered alcohol’ phase and

where you can actually have fun, rather than simply assuming you had fun because everyone around you seemed to have fun, because how can you not have fun the first time you are given access to vodka and a crowd of equally drunk and horny people who are still going through puberty? I’ll let you in on a secret – you can now do that pretty much anywhere you want. So if you decide to spend money to travel abroad, you might want to consider going to a place you actually want to see. You can get just as drunk, have just as much fun, and you might also remember some of the cultural as well, as opposed to the beauty of the absolutely identical teen paradise resorts, with the exact same scenes, hotels, bars, views, marketing strategies and types of people. By now, you’re supposed to have discovered vodka, sex, hangovers and clubbing; you’ve been initiated. It’s not a big deal anymore, act cool. You successfully became an adult.

Kos

Besides the relentless cycle of clubbing, sleeping and sunbathing, Kos puts its emphasis on activities like watersports. Advisory note though – water-skiing on a hangover is not the one.

it’s All about Barcelona

ANGUS QUINN spills the beans on why Barcelona is the place to be this summer...

I Zante

If relentless partying is going to grind you down, Zante at least offers respite from the clubbing scene with its polar opposite – sleepy traditional villages – in the north of the island. After some R&R you can then lunge back into the action on the strip.

Kavos

Channel 4 may make Kavos seem like a horror story but that’s not the whole story. With the urban legends of Kavos come legendary status; and infamous cocktails make it a night you’ll never forget…unless you have too many.

t’s rare to find a coastal European city that combines beauty, vibrant culture, bustling nightlife and proximity to urban escape as well as Barcelona. Shirking the scorching heat of southern Spain, the grim concrete facades of the Costa del Sol and boasting enviable transport links to quieter parts of the Costa Brava, Barcelona is a city you should put high on your bucket list. The city’s premiere attraction is the Sagrada Familia. Designed by Antonio Gaudí, the Church has been under construction since 1882. Though its interior to a large extent resembles a building site – because it actually is one – the exterior is breathtaking and the design of the building is hugely reflective of Gaudí’s style which is repeated throughout the entire city. In typically Spanish fashion most of the food specialises in a lighter touch which suits tourists because you’re on-thego and locals because nobody wants to eat a heavy meal in the summer heat. Bacoa is a must visit – it’s basically what’d happen if Gourmet Burger Kitchen and Jamon Iberico were dropped in a blender and spat out at the other end. Predictably the burgers are to die for! Another must-do is brunch – desayuno is a Spanish staple and the Federal Cafè will furnish all your post-hangover needs. It covers all typically British bases but also boasts juices and shakes and has a thoroughly cosmopolitan feel to it. If you want to ease into the day with more of a Mediterra-

nean twist, Picnic offers a seafood twist with an emphasis on freshness that most UK seafood restaurants could only envy. The prawns and breadcrumbed hake are standout dishes. A truly wacky day out is the Salvador Dali museum. This is ideal in the extremely unlikely event of a rainy day and will keep both arts enthusiasts and everyone else entertained. Dali is completely off the wall and the scale of his very physical art should be something to keep everyone amused, including the iconic living room piece that doubles vaguely grotesquely as a face. The added bonus of Barcelona, though, is its proximity to the coast. Besides its own beach it’s also within a short drive of the sleepy coves of the Costa Brava. Though the Costa Brava is probably among the most underappreciated in Spain because of its inaccessibility and shorter season, both those reasons actually make it among the best in Spain. Just a few shorts hours away are sleepy beaches whose isolation from the outside world is all part of the attraction. Tamariu is a particular gem. Though it regularly becomes busy in high season May-August, the village is enviably underdeveloped and lacks much development beyond the beachside cafes and bars that have been there since time immemorial. If you want a city break that offers a beach holiday, cultural attractions and cosmopolitan nightlife – truly, there’s no city better than Barcelona.

26 LIFESTYLE

YORK VISION Tuesday April 29, 2014

food for free

Desperate Housewife

JIM DEE explains how to be a skint student this summer...

oma has reclaimed its place as the world’s best restaurant, according to San Pellegrino’s recent list. In a list populated by some of the post-elBulli Spanish giants, what makes Noma number one? Coming in at number four, New York City’s Eleven Madison Park will dazzle you with stunning foie gras preparations, but people expecting such luxury ingredients at Noma are likely to be disappointed. The philosophy at Noma is one of hyper-locality: ingredients are foraged from the restaurant’s immediate surroundings, and dishes attempt to celebrate Danish cuisine. The mastermind behind the restaurant, René Redzepi, eschews Spanish saffron and Italian truffles, instead offering dishes like ‘slivers of cod liver and crispy sweet milk’ and a ‘broth of ramson leaves’.

Chick pea wafer, cream cheese, herbs and flowers at L’enclume. He has inspired worldwide interest in foraging and making the absolute most of the food on offer to us. Almost every restaurant in this country will claim that it is passionate about local and seasonal produce, but putting asparagus on your menu for two weeks in May is not a real relationship with the local ingredients, especially if you serve it with olive oil and balsamic vinaigrette. In England, for a true example of a restaurant proud of what our countryside has to offer, look at L’enclume. Simon Rogan’s restaurant in Cartmel scored 10/10 in this year’s Good Food Guide, and overtook The Fat Duck for the first place position. His passion for British products is admirable, and though not necessarily practical to entirely implement his philosophy at home, we should still be inspired by

what he is doing. What is it about Noma and L’enclume that continues to mesmerize critics and connoisseurs? In my mind it is their ability to reconsider and redefine what luxury is. Sensationally fresh and local ingredients should be part of our daily diet, but in a world where English supermarkets are filled with Spanish strawberries and Peruvian asparagus, good quality British ingredients shine through. Any good restaurant can impress you with well-cooked lobster, but there are very few chefs who can excite their customers with braised leeks or caramelised cauliflower. Perhaps their ability to treat every ingredient with the same high level of respect is what elevates chefs like René and Simon to the heights they achieve. As students, we should be naturally predisposed to foraging for fresh ingredients, because they are free. There are several excellent ‘Edible York’ allotments dotted around campus and town, and we should make the most of the produce which grows there. By Vanbrugh College there are several purple sprouting broccoli plants, one of the tastiest (and most expensive) vegetables on offer at this time of the year. The leaves are also delicious, just cut

Rosemary growing on campus. them away from the stem and blanch before serving with a little butter. The broccoli plants are also beginning to flower, so pick the little yellow flowers and use them in a salad:

Foodstagram 1

they

A dish at restaurant Noma: Salad of wild flowers.

Cook like your favourite TV characters with ZENA JARJIS’ TV Cookbook...

look incredible and have a subtle flavour. Opposite the Berrick Saul building is a thyme plant which I snip a few sprigs from two or three times a week, and a little further uphill you’ll find borage plants. The blue flowers have a delicate cucumber flavour, and when young enough the leaves can be used as well. Off campus there are a myriad of possibilities for people who want to forage. Try picking the top few leaves from nettle plants, which can be used to make a good soup or even nettle tea. Familiarise yourself with chickweed, it has a flavour somewhat similar to spinach and often grows in shady areas. If your garden has a weed problem, harvest the young dandelion leaves, wash thoroughly and use in a salad. If you are feeling particularly adventurous, the roots of the dandelion can be caramelised in sugar or maple syrup and used to add bitterness to a dish. Broad beans grow in the ‘Edible York’ allotment next to The Barbican, as well as rocket. Both of these plants have flowers which can be used to add vibrancy to a dish. Try rolling broad bean flowers between two sheets of fresh pasta, then serving with fresh broad beans and peas. There are countless other flowers and wild herbs growing in the area, and there is still a staggering amount for me to learn, but living in an area with such beautiful countryside invites making the most of what grows around us.

1. Susan’s Chipotle Glazed Chicken Wings, Desperate Housewives Mix together 1 cup of honey, 3 tablespoons of chipotle paste, 2 tablespoons of mustard, 4 tablespoons of ancho chile powder, salt and pepper, 4 tablespoons of sesame oil, 2 teaspoons of ground coriander, 2 teaspoons of ground cumin and 2 teaspoons of paprika. Coat chicken wings with the spice mix. Cook under a medium grill for 25-30 minutes, turning frequently.

2. Scones, Downton Abbey Preheat the oven to 220C. Mix together 225g of flour and a pinch of salt. Rub in 55g of butter. Stir in 25g of sugar and 150ml of milk to get a soft dough. Knead very lightly on a lightly floured surface. Pat out and stamp out scones using a cutter. Brush the scones with beaten egg. Bake for 12-15 minutes. Serve with clotted cream, jam and a cup of tea.

3. “MY SANDWICH!”, Friends Make a sandwich of roasted turkey breast, stuffing, cranberry sauce, lettuce and tomato. The secret ingredient is a third slice of bread dipped in gravy, or a ‘moist maker’, in the middle of the sandwich. Take it to work with you, but be sure to label it...

4. Cheesy Blasters, 30 Rock You take a hot dog, stuff it with some jack cheese, put it in a pizza... you’ve got cheesy blasters!

ZENA JARJIS recommends the best Instagram accounts for food-lovers...

1. @sweet_almond Delicious pastries and desserts 2. @deliciouslyella Healthy salads, smoothies and more 3. @razawdiako Traditional Kurdish dishes 4. @freefrier Clean eating meals

YORK VISION

SPORT

Tuesday April 29 2014

Web: www.yorkvision.co.uk/sport Email: sport@yorkvision.co.uk Twitter: @YorkVisionSport

PREMIER LEAGUE: THE TRAP DOOR

THERE HAS been no season in recent years as exciting and unpredictable as this. At both ends of the table, teams are fighting it out for Premier League glory and an all-important Champions League place, or for survival in the greatest football league in the world. Whilst much focus is placed on the teams chasing the top spot, and rightly so, an even more interesting situation is being played out at the foot of the table. As it stands at the moment, only seven points separate the bottom nine teams, and with eleven games to go, this means that many clubs are facing possible relegation. Along with this, the current bottom six teams have all faced managerial changes since the beginning of the season, a point which Sir Alex Ferguson has lambasted within the last few weeks as part of the “sacking culture” within the modern English game. The three promoted sides from last

years Championships have all fared different fortunes so far, reflective perhaps of decisions made in the boardroom and the manager’s office. Cardiff ’s problems can certainly be traced back to the poor transfer dealings in the summer, the apparent cause of Malky Mackay’s sacking, but the dealings of new boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer are also a worry too. Solskjaer, legendary in English Premier League history as Manchester United’s prolific baby faced assassin, has hardly proved himself as a manager, only having managed at a junior level at the United academy and then at the financially endowed Molde in Norway, is undoubtedly a managerial gamble from Vincent Tan. The signing of Kenwyne Jones is potentially disastrous, as any Stoke fan will tell you, as he isn’t a grafter and he isn’t motivated sometimes at all. For a team like Cardiff who have done well defensively, but struggled for goals upfront, Jones seems a strange choice from Ole, having failed to really find the back of the net at Stoke, a club strikingly similar to

Image: Isaac Lister

Cardiff. Hull, a club promoted at the same time as Cardiff, recently thumped Cardiff away from home, scoring four goals, having had a very different season so far. Doing well and effectively safe from the drop, all be it without any catastrophes, Hull proved themselves with astute signings in the summer and in January. The signing of Tom Huddlestone, a master passer and seasoned professional has shored up any midfield frailties, to the extent that a call up for the World Cup is a distinct possibility. The one area not really sorted in the summer, the strikeforce, was covered in January, with the signings of Nikica Jelavic and Shane Long, both proven goal scorers capable of helping raise Hull’s game. Crystal Palace, another recently promoted side, have shown that managerial changes mid season can certainly work for the better. Tony Pulis has taken a side that had

struggled under Ian Holloway, languishing in last place, and raised them out of the relegation zone, in part aided from a few wise acquisitions in the summer. The signing of Tom Ince on loan, a surprise to many, has clearly sent a message to other relegation teams that the club means business, with other signings such as Wayne Hennessey from Wolverhampton and Scott Dann also big signings. One club with an outside chance for the drop is Chris Hughton’s Norwich City. Goalshy with a meagre 20 strikes this season, the Canaries have struggled to correctly utilise purchased firepower in the form of Gary Hooper and Ricky van Wolfswinkel for a combined princely sum of £13.5m. For the money the Canaries have spent on their attack, they should be scoring far more goals. The fact that they aren’t could well do for them come May, and they would be one of the best teams ever to go down.

TENNIS: IS THIS THE END OF THE BIG FOUR? JAMES PASCOE

YES

IT IS true that the 2014 season bears the hallmarks of what could turn out to be the end of an era in men’s tennis. But that is not to say it is the end of sport’s golden age - just merely the beginning of a glittering new chapter. The real issue is not the decline of the big four but the coming of age of their challengers. Stan Wawrinka has finally made the step up after years in the shadow of compatriot Federer. Del Potro has shown signs of an overdue return to the remarkable form which saw him lift the 2009 US Open. Wawrinka’s win will inspire the likes of Berdych, Gasquet and Tsonga to strive for what previously

seemed impossible. Rising stars like Dimitrov, Raonic and Nishikori aren’t too far over the horizon too. Of course, as a sporting phenomenon, the cycle of the big four will not formally be broken until one of them, most likely Federer, retires from the game. Yet, 2014 could see the beginning of the end of their stranglehold on the major titles. Despite talks of an apparent Federer rejuvenation, he has yet to convince his doubters that he can climb the rankings again, let alone seal another slam. Meanwhile, Djokovic looked out of sorts at times in his defeat to Wawrinka in Melbourne last month. Does the desire still remain? And, of course, SW19 hero Andy Murray has yet to return to form following surgery. Falling out of the top four rankings has shown just how hard his task to add to his two majors will be this year. Exciting times lie ahead for tennis. Tennis’s fab four aren’t finished yet, but the warning shots have been fired.

ISAAC LISTER

NO NO, IT is not the end of the big four. You can rule out one, the imperious Serb Novak Djokovic straight away. Nole reached 100 weeks as number one in the world in 2013, and went on to storm into the quarters dropping a set before ultimately losing to Stanislas Wawrinka. This strong, if ultimately disappointing start to the calendar year shows how dominant Djokovic continues to be on the world stage. While it is true that Rafa Nadal’s position in the big four is in jeopardy, this is only because he is perpetually plagued by injury. His ability, when fit, is unquestionable- so to pontificate that his time at the top is over

based purely on injury speculation is firstrate idiocy. The same can be said of Roger Federer - though his Achilles heel is not one of injury but of age, he has had to wrap himself in cotton wool and guard against playing too many matches. At 100% though, Federerr will still overwhelm any opponent not bringing his Agame,and yet again, to speculate on his decline is just that, to speculate. His Grand Slam appearances these days have a swansong element to them, but he still oozes class. Andy Murray’s back problems are an enigma of their own. A glorious Wimbledonwinning 2013 was at last ‘his time’. As he eases back to full match fitness, there is no doubt in his ability to win more Slams and dominate the world stage. But can he, like Nadal, fight off injury and remain at the pinnacle of world tennis for much longer? With the rise of the likes of Grigor Dimitrov, it remains to be seen, but it ain’t over yet.

28 SPORT

YORK VISION Tuesday April 29, 2014

YORK SPORT COMMITTEE IN POSITION RE-VAMP

RODGERS’ RED DAWN

HELENA SUTCLIFFE: WHY CHELSEA LOSS SHOULDN’T UNDERMINE LIVERPOOL PROGRESS

BY ANGUS QUINN YORK SPORT Committee Elections are set to open Monday of Week 3. The Committee is responsible for increasing participation in sport at York, protecting the interests of sporting members of the University and conducting sporting activities across the University. A new position of Get Into Sport Officer has been introduced to promote sport for disabled and LGBT sports-players and the position of Volunteering and Development Officer has been reorganised to Wellbeing and Development. YUSU Sport Union President Cass Brown told Vision: “Being on York Sport Committee is an extremely fun and rewarding experience. “The Committee gets to make the important decisions that affect the York Sport Union and works closely with our 62 fabulous Sports Clubs.” Treasurer, Events & Fundraising, Communications, three positions for Tournament Secretary, two positions for College Sport Officer, Wellbeing and Development and Get Into Sport Officers will all be open for nomination from Week 3. Of the two new roles on the Committee, Brown told Vision exclusively, “I’m delighted that the York sport committee will be expanding this year. “The new Wellbeing and Development Officer position has a great remit and will ensure that the Key Contacts scheme grows and gets the publicity it needs. “The Get Into Sport Officer will drive the Get Into Sport programme, making sure participatory level sport thrives.” Campaigning begins on Monday of Week 4 and results will be announced Monday Week 5. For more information on the specific role of each officer visit.

YORK

LET’S IGNORE Sunday’s demoralising defeat to Chelsea and just sit back and admire what Brendan Rodgers’ Liverpool have achieved this season. Not even the most optimistic of Liverpool fans could have predicted back in August what the club’s position in the table would be. They are still top of the league despite Sunday’s results going against them. For a side who sat seventh in the table last year, being right in the thick of the race for the Premier League title, never mind the Champions League places, is an astonishing achievement. With a place in the latter now guaranteed, it is fair to say that Brendan Rodgers has earned many fans over the course of the season. Even if Liverpool do come up short in the end, they have had an outstanding season,

painting a great picture for the future of the club. Their performances have been a great advert for English football. Rodger’s philosophy of attacking football and fearlessness towards his club’s rivals has meant his team is the pick among many neutrals to win English football’s top prize this year. That they lost to Chelsea, who boast the world’s finest defensive tactician in Jose Mourinho, should not dampen Rodgers’ claims to manager of the season. In the early stages of the season, many pundits spoke of their doubts of Suarez and Sturridge being able to play together as a strike force; however Rodgers, who didn’t see the pair as a partnership but as two players with outstanding individual quality, chose to play them both together upfront.

This created one of the most prolific strike partnerships of the decade and arguably one of the deadliest in Liverpool’s history. With Suarez and Sturridge on 30 and 20 goals for the season respectively, their partnership has had a large influence on the team’s success. Even though he struggled against Chelsea’s phenomenal set-up, Suarez alone has been unplayable at times season, as his goal tally shows - but it’s not just his heroics that have put Liverpool in their current position. Another standout performer in recent weeks has been Raheem Sterling who, at the age of 19, is one of the most creative players in the league. While Rodgers can take a lot of the credit in nurturing Sterling’s transformation from teen bad boy to one of his first names on the team-sheet, it is likely that being among a player of Suarez’s calibre has inspired the teenager and helped him to given him the confidence to roam forward at will. This attacking threat is completed by Philippe Coutinho interchanging with Sterling at the tip of a diamond formation - just one of several variable formations Rodgers has deployed this season - with Suarez and Sturridge spearheading the attack. Many of the players who have made a great impact in the season all seem to have had their fair share of frustration

YORK VISION

which may have helped to spur the team into form. Daniel Sturridge and Philippe Coutinho both joined Liverpool from other successful clubs (Chelsea and Inter Milian) where they rarely had a chance to prove their ability. This season they have both shown the quality they can produce. Jordan Henderson’s poor first season at the club and the large price tag he came with meant he was seen as a player not good enough to wear the red shirt, while Raheem Sterling faded often a promising start last season. Both have improved remarkably this season and have been very much part of the growth and improvement of the clubs. Henderson’s recent absence has been felt by Liverpool as they laboured to victory against Norwich and were overcome by the disciplined structure of Chelsea. And, of course, what of Steven Gerrard? Fans of the game should ignore his mistake to gift Ba the first goal on Sunday - the captain has been immense this season, excelling in his deep-lying role and scoring some vital goals. It will be a tragedy for him if he can never win the title with Liverpool. The point is, Rodgers’ Reds have made giant strides this year, and that should be enough for most fans. The future looks bright.

LANCASTER

WANTS YOU

Passionate about sport? Budding reporter or photographer? Fancy a good laugh? YORK VISION cordially invites you to travel to Lancaster THIS FRIDAY with the team. RSVP: sport@yorkvision.co.uk @YorkVisionSport

YORK VISION

SPORT

Tuesday April 29, 2014

SPOTLIGHT: FUTSAL KNOWING THAT the Futsal lads were preparing for a vital BUCS match against Lincoln did nothing to ease my nerves with respect to a two-hour training session in the Tent on Thursday evening. I was greeted by a chipper James Briars and coach Junior Roberti, who promised to get me ‘involved as much as possible’, but with intense tactical preparation for the Lincoln match included in the session, I knew I’d have to sit out some of the drills. The session began with some classic P.E style circuit

training, with quick sprints and shimmies the order of the day. I was able to keep up with initial drills despite shortness of breath, but as they became increasingly complex, I became unable to cope with the demand, and I was grateful when James Briars told me I could take as ‘much time as I need. Meanwhile, the other lads got on with a drill involving jumping on each others’ backs, crawling through legs then running back around to start again. Once the warmups were out of the way, coach Junior called everyone over

and began to get into the meat of zonal defending and how best to counteract it. His knowledge of the game and attention to detail was astounding, even more so the way in which the players (particularly the seasoned National League campaigners) carried out his instructions. Eventually, he signalled to me to come and take part in the drill. I took up a position as one of the attackers in a ‘diamond 4’. In this role I would need to make a quick pass and immediately move to overlap and put a defender under pressure.

While I was surefooted in the pass, the movement and fitness of intensely tactical Futsal soon took its toll on me, and I was huffing and puffing, frequently ball-chasing, and getting nowhere fast as the ball pinballed around. I was thankful when Junior swapped the players around, but there was no rest for the wicked as I found myself pulling on a defender’s bib and lining up against the best of our Uni Futsal players. Defending in a drill is simple enough- don’t press too high and drop off on the overlapping

man when he goes round the outside. The challenge arose when I found myself in the thick of the action in a match situation, remembering when to stick and when to drop off is challenging when you’re busting a gut just to keep up. Luckily, I was on a team with National League players who were able to guide me through the final game. I left the Tent far more educated (and far more knackered) than I arrived, and with far greater respect for the fitness behind the beautiful game.

SPOTLIGHT SPECIAL: KALLUM & DAVE PLAY POOL TWELVE MONTHS ago, myself and Kallum Taylor made the trip to play croquet, embarrassing ourselves at one of the most gentlemanly of sports. Nevertheless my coaching tips worked, as Kallum helped York surge to victory in the much vaunted Roses croquet clash. This year, though, croquet has been dropped, and in its place comes the inaugural lawn bowls competition, in which our YUSU President will be representing our fine institution. As a result we decided that an important crash course session in the tactics of lawn bowls was required, however somehow that plan failed miserably and instead after an arduous journey we ended up playing pool in the Lounge, which, crucially, I won. A long week of hard searching for a bowls set came to nothing, and much to our dismay we had to scrap our original plan. Who would have thought that no one in York would have a set? We were counting on Simon Varley who usually possesses every piece of sporting equipment you

could imagine, but this was beyond even his powers. So instead we decided to play darts, apart from the fact we then trawled around every campus bar unable to find a darts board which actually had some darts. The closest we got was a single dart in the Lounge, and knowing mine and Kallum’s darts skills that was probably a good thing, as we might have been stuck there for the long haul trying to hit that tantalising winning double, if we even made it that far. So after all of the build-up to bowls and then darts, we finally had to settle down for a nice relaxed game of pool. Kallum then made it worse by cajoling me into breaking my self-enforced Roses drinking ban, by being far too kind and buying me a pint, and as punishment I had to beat him at pool. If we lose at Roses now, I know who will be getting the blame. It would be fair to say Kallum has an unorthodox pool playing style, with his strange mannerisms, awkward looking grip and one eye closed approach, but it

worked off the break as he potted a red into the middle-left pocket. Things went downhill for Kallum though from there as ten minutes and seven yellow balls later I was onto the black, and our YUSU President still had six reds remaining. Through pure concentration and a large chunk of brute force, Kallum reduced the arrears with two immaculate pots, but after two lifelines on the black, I wasn’t going to miss for a third time, as I sank the black to seal a momentous victory. A fun, relaxed game of pool was over, Kallum spent the next five minutes chasing around his remaining four reds, and our sporting spotlight journey was over. With both a University club and a thriving college league, pool is easily accessible for everyone, or you can simply head along to one of the campus bars as we did for a leisurely game. Our pool skills may have improved ever so slightly, but at bowls we are no better. The question is whether that will prove costly for Kallum come Sunday, we will have to find out…

SPORT

YORK VISION Tuesday April 29, 2014

ROSES 2014 - A Football

Rugby

Hockey

Lacrosse

UYAFC 1sts captain have had an excellent BUCS season, winning the title at a canter. They come into Friday’s opening ceremony match with great confidence.. The innate confidence of the 1sts runs right the way through the squad, 1sts captain James Davies told Vision. “I believe we’ve got a great chance, we’ve had a great season and are working hard now to get back to that form. Lancaster always have a good side and, in both years that I have played, have been the better side. If we play to our potential, though, I think we’ll be in with a good shout!” Elsewhere, UYWAFC will hope to bring plenty to the table. They finished the season strongly after promotion last year. “After being named York Sport’s Roses team of the year in 2013, and completing a whitewash over Lancaster, we’ve been working extremely hard to ensure we have another strong weekend. We’re under no illusions that this is an easy task: Lancaster are in the league above us and have had an impressive season, however the tactical and technical improvements we have made this season are sure to set us in good stead for next weekend. “We’re confident of success in both 5 and 11 a side games, and with our newly formed second team (who will be in BUCS next year) also having a friendly game against Lancaster Alumni at Sunday midday, it again goes to show that women’s football at our university has never looked stronger.

UYRUFC will go into Roses full of memories of last year’s memorable win at Huntington’s Stadium. Injured 1sts captain Fraser Kirkley said: “The build up to Roses is always special, the season is over and the boys have a new focus. All the shirts are up for grabs, nobody is a dead cert, which makes things exciting. “Lancaster will be a better drilled opponent this year; they’re undefeated this year and they’ll be wanting revenge on our 5 year whitewash. “There’s no doubt that all the fixtures will be thrilling, and I’m very jealous of the boys running out with the crest on their chests. I have every faith that Matthew Thorp, who will be captaining the ones, will lead the side to victory ably aided by the likes of Tristan Burd and Conan Osborn. The steady heads of James Peacock, Matt Darroch and Luke Cunnah will ensure the right results in the other fixtures.” Meanwhile, the women’s team are the favourite to win. President Mollie Staples told Vision: “As a club we have achieved one of the best seasons in our history with an unbeaten record and a 296 points difference. This success has made us more enthusiastic than ever to secure a win at roses and to remain unbeaten this year. Last year was fantastic with the first win against Lancaster for two years, and we believe we can better it this year as our squads have never been stronger.”

The hockey club have enjoyed a largely successful season, with the men’s 1sts consolidating their position in the league with an improved BUCS campaign and a strong cup run. The men’s 2nds had an excellent season, achieving promotion by winning their league, losing only once. The women’s 1sts have had more of a mixed bag, having to battle to avoid relegation on the final day, but their young side will have learnt from their tough season and will be fired up for Roses. With a huge raft of fixtures coming up over the weekend in Lancaster, including indoor matches, the team will be tested on all fronts. They will be desperate to match last year’s result, where UYHC lost only once, but ladies’ captain Izi Hutchinson feels confident. “For UYHC, Roses is everything. For some, it is the most memorable game they will play. “To represent the House of York in the battle of the roses is not just a historic moment, but also a proud one, and this most certainly will be seen on the indoor court and on the AstroTurf. “Tensions and emotions run high from the start of the Ladies 2nd indoor game, to the final whistle of the Men’s 1st outdoor match. Hours of hard work have been spent by the presidents, captains and coaches to make sure we go into our games fighting fit to give Lancaster the shock of a life time. We are aiming for the white rose to whitewash the red across the board in hockey this year.”

What a phenomenal season for UYLC, who are surely the crown jewel among York’s sporting clubs this season. Both the men and women have played superbly, storming to league and cup doubles this season. The men’s 1sts won all 7 of their league games, and edged a tight clash with Durham in the cup final. The women’s 1sts proved equally successful, cruising to promotion with eight straight victories, before thrashing Newcastle in the cup final to seal the double. They will also come together to form a mixed team to take on Lancaster, adding an extra dimension of fun to proceedings. Last year’s matches on home turf resulted in emphatic victories for all three teams, and women’s 1sts captain Claire Thomas is keen to repeat that feat: “Roses is always enormous fun for both sides of the club, especially as it gives us the rare opportunity to play mixed. We’ve had an amazing season, including an emphatic win over Lancaster in the quarter finals of our Cup, but don’t want to get complacent, so will come out fighting. The enormous goal difference in our last women’s Roses game is something I want to emulate this year, and these are certainly three points that we’re hoping we can go out and take in a commanding fashion. Lacrosse are always one of the bestperforming clubs for the a White Rose, and this year should be no different.”

SPORT

YORK VISION

Tuesday April 29, 2014

VIEWER’S GUIDE Netball Despite narrowly losing their final match of the season to Sheffield Hallam, York Netball firsts came top of their group and delivered a formidable performance through the BUCS season. Autumn fixtures yielded four consecutive wins over Teeside, Chester, Newcastle and Sheffield. Although that run was broken by a 56-31 defeat to the University of Central Lancashire, the 1sts followed up with a draw against Leeds Metropolitan and a second and crushing victory over Teeside 70-9. Those were followed up with a further two wins against Newcastle and Sheffield before the narrow defeat to Hallam. The 2nds had a mixed bag of results and the 3rds narrowly avoided relegation. Though the 2nds closed on a slender win 45-44 against Northumbria, they suffered five consecutive defeats between October 30th and December 4th 2013. The 3rds also suffered six defeats in their season. The best hopes for a Netball victory therefore rest upon the 1sts. 1sts captain Bronwen Dalley-Smith commented to Vision: “We’re all really excited for the tournament and hope to go one better than last year and come home with 3 wins. “Despite our Lancaster counterparts being in higher leagues, we definitely feel like this is the year for UYNC and we’re all ready to fight. Each team has had a great season, with our first team getting promoted, so can’t wait to show Lancaster how it’s done!”

Basketball The University of York Basketball Club has endured a season of reasonable success in both men and women’s forms of the game. The men’s 1sts came a respectable fourth in the final BUCS table of the season. Despite a heavy 103-29 defeat in the Cup to Huddersfield, the White Rose will be pleased after having won against teams from Bradford, Sheffield and Leeds this season. The women had a marginally less successful season, finishing second from bottom in their BUCS league, but were never really in danger of relegation given the poverty of Sunderland’s team. They will be keen to avoid another Roses landslide defeat after last year’s 7124 loss on home soil. Similarly, the men suffered a 75-32 defeat at the hands of the Red Rose last year, and will be keen to make amends when they clash again this weekend, with four points up for grabs for the men and women respectively. First-team member and spokesman for the club Nikos Barbatsalos exclusively told Vision: “We are very excited about the two games on Sunday. “We have been training really hard recently in order to stop the current losing streak. Unfortunately some third year players won’t be able to make it to Roses, but we are going to fight till the final second for the win.”

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Handball

After the disappointment of a home defeat last year, York Centurions will be desperate to win their clash with Lancaster Bombers on Saturday at lunchtime. After a narrow 15-14 victory away in Lancaster in 2012, could history be about to repeat itself ? Their have been some new recruits to the squad in the form of freshers this year, many of whom had never played the sport before they came to university. For this reason, in many ways it has been a season of transition for the Centurions. Nevertheless, the squad boasts some strong talents, some of who attended trials for the Great Britain national side. One of them was Club President Fred Isaac. Speaking to Vision, the 2014 YUSU Presidential candidate said: “The York Centurions are looking to secure their second ever Roses victory, with several freshers stepping up to the roles we have demanded of them. “This is also the final game for many of the Centurions who have taken the team from their first 3-2 win to our highest scoring offence ever. “It’s going to be a big game for us and Lancaster. “But I hope we will, as a team, in my final game, step up to the plate and show everyone what Centurion football is all about.” Despite arguably going into the game as underdogs, there are four valuable points up for grabs, and they will be ready for a tight contest over in Lancaster.

The University of York Handball Club will have the pleasure of making their Roses bow this year. The club has been going from strength to strength this year, after a quiet 2013, and will be one of a handful of new sports to make their debut in Lancaster. Chrysanthi Stefanou, who is President of the York Handball Club, exclusively told Vision: “It’s the first time there will be handball in Roses so we will play for no points, but from next year we will have the chance to earn some points for our uni.” “Even though we only have a couple of experienced players we’ve seen so much improvement from our beginners so we are really looking forward to playing as a team! “We only had one friendly game this year against Leeds University, since we are a new team, which we won 37-27 and since then our players are excited about Roses after seeing what they can do. “We were really proud of them after that game. “We’ve been working so hard the whole year because most of our players are beginners so we really hope that everything pays off at roses hoping to attract more people to try for next year this amazing sport!” York are sending two handball teams to Lancaster, with both sides taking to the stage early on Sunday morning. Despite being off the beaten track, the teams are expecting to draw strong crowds on Sunday.

SPORT

ROSES 2014:

BIG MATCH PREVIEW

SPOTLIGHT: POLE EXERCISE

P30-31

P29

SPOTLIGHT EXTRA: POOL

P29

YORK WIN ROSES ROWING OPENER

THE UNIVERSITY of York Boat Club got the White Rose off to a great start in Roses 2014 as they beat Lancaster 12-5 across Sunday’s rowing events. York took the first point of the event, as their novice men’s fours was won to make it 1-0. Next up, the senior men 1sts four were defeated by Lancaster, who surged into a 4-1 lead. York roared back with victory in the novice men’s eight, despite defeat in the novice women’s eight category. The visitors triumphed in all three

Issue 242

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division three categories, with the women’s senior four, the senior men’s 2nd four and the men’s 1st eight taking the points. The women’s senior eight rounded off proceedings to make the overall scores 12-5 to York. Press & Publicity officer Charlotte Price told Vision: “The whole of UYBC is ecstatic that our hard training has paid off. We’re glad to kick off Roses with a victory against Lancaster in the rowing.” The main events of Roses will begin in earnest on the 2nd May and last all weekend.

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FIRST EVENT OF ROSES 2014 ENDS WITH VICTORY FOR UYBC WHITE ROSE TAKE EARLY 12-5 LEAD GOING INTO ROSES WEEKEND ROSES PREVIEW: 30-31

Tuesday April 29th, 2014

sport@yorkvision.co.uk