Issue 115

Vision York Student

Ikon & Diva the home of Cheese and Crackers

ILLEGAL EXAM CAUSES OUTRAGE

DEGREE RESULTS of Economics finalists are currently in jeopardy after an exam completed may now be declared illegal.

Students sitting the Micro-economics 2 exam earlier this year were alarmed to discover that the results they had been awarded were unconfirmed owing to confusion over the validity of the exam. A member of the economics staff claimed “The exam was clearly ‘illegal’, because not formally approved.”

“The intention was that it would be dealt with confidentially. I deeply regret the leak.”

Prof. Keith Hartley Economics Board of Studies Chair

The exam was based upon an Italian system of marking where the paper is marked out of 120, yet those gaining 100 marks would still be awarded 100%. The intention of this structure was to compensate the students for having to answer four compulsory essay questions (as opposed to the previous system that involved a choice of four from twelve).

Students have not been officially informed that their marks are in the balance, but confidential information was leaked to students after a recent board of studies meeting. Professor Keith Hartley, Chairman of the Board told Vision: “The Micro2 item on the agenda at the last Board of Studies meeting (10th November) was starred for further discussion. The intention was that it would be dealt with confidentially. As chair of that meeting I deeply regret that information has been leaked and has caused anxiety and uncertainty amongst students.”

“When I referred to the exam as illegal, there were no objections” J. Long, PPE Board of Studies Rep. “When asked whether or not the original exam structure was illegal he said, it depends on how you define the word structure, the Micro 2 exam was approved. I am very reluctant to say much more in case of enflaming the situation.”

James Long, Board of Studies PPE representative commented “I raised the subject at the Board of Studies meeting on Wednesday week 6. When I referred to the exam as illegal there

WIN tickets to New York p.11

were certainly no objections from those members of staff from the Economics department.”

On behalf of PPE students he has submitted a letter to the University Teaching Committee (UTC) explaing that “It would be a humiliation to ourselves and the university for us to write back to prospective employers to which we have applied and inform them of a change in our results, due to what appears to be incompetence within the economics department.

The lack of information provided to students has caused anxiety amongst many that sat the exam, as final degree classifications may rest on this one mark. One third year economics student said “I have heard lots of rumours that we may have to re-sit or that our marks are going down by as much as 20%, this is the last thing we need in our final year.”

Professor Hartley said “As a department we asked the examinations committee for guidance who then saw it fit to pass the matter on to the UTC. We are currently waiting for their feed-

“I have heard rumours that our marks may be lowered by as much as 20%, that is the last thing we need as finalists” Economics student, 3rd Year

back.”

Professor Jim Matthew, Chairman of the UTC, that oversees academic conduct commented “We are looking into the matter and will be giving advice to the department, examining what the possible procedures may be. This could include the involvement of external examiners.”

But one PPE finalist argued that the way students have not been told of this situation is totally unprofessional. “It’s not fair for us to suffer from a fault of the department. It was only a couple of weeks before we sat the exam that that the structure was confirmed. When the subjects was raised the lecturer was particularly evasive. Because of the structure of the exam we were told we wouldn’t have to complete all the questions to get a good grade. It was implied that the extra twenty marks on the paper were for those who wanted an extra challenge.”

One lecturer who asked to remain anonymous told Vision that the University may have administered an illegal exam. He added: “If the marks are then changed it would be possible for students to New take & legal action against the Claire Rajini Vaidyanathan

Fighting talk p.21

York Student Vision

PINOCHET ELECTED HONORARY PRESIDENT

GENERAL PINOCHET, the former Chilean Head Of State, has been elected honorary President of York University’s Debating Society.

The former dictator is currently embroiled in a fight against extradition to Spain where he is accused of crimes against humanity.

Jonathan Williams, joint Chair of the Debating Society, told Vision that the appointment was not intended as any political statement. “It was just a bit of comedy,” he explained. “When Pinochet was nominated no one really expected him to be elected. In fact several members of the society were horrified – which seemed to amuse the rest.”

Asked whether he expected a reaction from Spanish or Chilean foreign students, Mr

Williams answered “If they come along they’ll see that we’re really not political at all.

He wasn’t nominated because of his politics or beliefs but because he has successfully debated his way through more than anyone else we could think of.”

The story has been investigated by The Times newspaper, who mistakenly understood that General Pinochet had been elected honorary president of the Student Union. Speaking on behalf of the SU, Aidhean Campbell said “The appointment might be a little tasteless.

He may have done some great things for his country but Pinochet’s still seen as a massmurderer by many.”

General Pinochet has yet to be informed of his new office.

Ben Hulme-Cross

Interview with Oakenfold p.23

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

2 NEWS York Student Vision

News In Brief TOILET HUMOUR AN ENTERPRISING James student has thought of a novel way to earn extra money during term time.

Posters around the college advertise a toilet roll delivery service, with prices starting at fifty pence for a standard roll to eighty-five for luxury.

Students are able to dial an internal number to place their order which can then be delivered to them.

The advertisements stress customer confidentiality, and also throw in a free copy of the Independent newspaper, which is 'to read while on the bog'.

The success of the scheme remains to be seen, though one James student said “It’s a good idea but its cheaper to get toilet roll from Kwiksave, and if I do run out at the last minute then I can just nip to Goodricke or Wenty toilets and get a few sheets'.

TIFF WITH TOFFS ENDS FOLLOWING A meeting between the Deputy President Services, Langwith JCRC and the manager of Toffs Nightclub, the boycott of the nightclub has been lifted.

As Vision reported last issue, Langwith JCRC had been outraged at the treatment of their Vice-Chair, Matthew Maddocks, after he was attacked outside the club. However, Toffs have now officially apologised to Matthew for the incident and have dismissed the doormen who had refused to assist him. As well as this, Tuesday nights will now be made student only with NUS cards required for entry.

James Hecks, Chair of Langiwth College, said, “The JCRC is extremely happy with the response”.

Vision York Student

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Special Thanks and Apologies Vision would like to say thanks to Westcountry Publications Ltd,

Grimston House, Vanbrugh College, University of York, Heslington, York, YO10 5DD. Tel/Fax: 01904 433720 Email: vision@york.ac.uk Website: http://www-users.york.ac.uk/~socs18/ Copyright Vision Newspapers, 1999.

York Student Vision

15,000 STORM LONDON

OVER 15,000 angry students congregated in London last Thursday at the National March for Education.

Run by the NUS and backed by York Students Union, the march was organised to fight for an end to tuition fees, the re-invoking of maintenance grants and an increase in pay for both professors and teachers.

Approximately 90 York students left campus at 5:45am to attend the march. Despite being less than one and a half percent of the student population of York, the newly appointed External Campaigns Officer Louise Edwards, told Vision that it was a good number. “It’s a small campus and we were never going to get the entire student population, but thanks to lots of successful publicity it was a well attended event.”

Both she and the President of the Students Union, Helen Woolnough, agreed that the march, which started at the University of London Union and travelled through the West End culminating in a rally in Kennington Park, South London, was a rewarding event.

According to Louise Edwards, it was successful as “it was much larger than previous demonstrations, making the point that students are clearly prepared to do something rather than just talk about it – they are prepared to be active.”

Helen Woolnough agreed, telling Vision “students do still care and feel strongly about tuition fees and staff wages. The fact that 15,000 students got together and unified made the march an amazing occasion to raise awareness.”

The march passed peacefully, although a few ‘minority far-left wing groups’ attempted to sabotage the

York protesters at the march in London demonstration, one group splintering off to march upon the Houses of Parliament, whilst another organised a mass sit-down on Westminster Bridge.

Although both campaigns had little support and were ineffective, they incensed NUS President Andrew Pakes enough to declare that he ‘condemned’ the minority of left wing activists who “care not for the students and do not have the power or the ability to defeat the government.”

According to Louise Edwards however, “there will always be an element of chaos at moments of high emotion yet there was no co-ordinated action. I was impressed by the way the march kept going preventing any possible hi-jack.”

There were also calls by prominent trade union officials ‘never to be too reasonable’ – seen by some as potentially an incite to riot. This could only be detrimental for the

campaign as it “would cause harm to the credibility of the campaign and would prevent any moderates from supporting us. It is clear however that we should never compromise our principle – tuition fees should be stricken forever.”

Although this march witnessed the biggest coming together of students over any issue in the past ten years, the fact that only one, Liberal Democrat, MP attended the march suggests that there’s a long way to go before any climb-down by the government.

The Students Union will, however, be keeping up the pressure over the next few weeks including liasing with Further Education groups and the York Student Body through a series of conferences in order to finalise a non-payment of tuition fees campaign. It is clear that the fight isn’t over yet.

Tom Smithard

UGM ROUND-UP

AFTER MANY failed attempts, the Student Union budget was finally passed at last week’s Union General Meeting (UGM).

It is the first gathering of the term that has remained quorate for a significantly long enough time for the budget to be discussed and voted on.

Around 450 students, 200 more than the UGM in week four turned up to Derwent bar, the event switching there from Vanbrugh dining hall to attract more people.

The decisions made include: • The Budget 1999/2000 was overwhelmingly voted in, allowing societies to finally pick up the cheques to keep them in the black for this academic year. An amendment by John Naylor to disassociate YUSU from North Yorkshire Area NUS, thereby saving £5,000 from the budget annually, was thrown out.

• The SU will now lobby the University for an improvement in food quality from Campus Fayre, a motion proposed by the SU President Helen Woolnough.

• It is now SU policy to campaign for cheaper phone calls and greater access to phones from ACC Telecom, who have a licence to

A full house in Derwent voting at the UGM

provide communications for the University.

• The Athletics Union has now the power to lobby the University for a improvement to sports facilities on campus. Ben Harding, AU President and the proposer of the motion decided that it was time more sports facilities were built, after reading an article in the last edition of Vision.

• The Students Union now has the right to support the fight for freeeducation through the non-payment of tuition fees. It is also SU policy to support the Jubilee 2000 campaign to end third-worl debt.

After another quoracy count fol-

lowing the budget, the numbers had dropped to below 282, the number needed to make policy. The last two motions, on the campaign for free education and to support the bar-staff with possible strike action, were therefore not discussed.

All motions at the UGM were passed apart from an emergency motion of no confidence in the Rules Committee which was defeated after a stirring speech from Deputy President Services Aidhean Campbell.

The final UGM of the term is next Tuesday at 7:30. The venue has yet to be decide.

T.S.

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

York Student Vision NEWS 3

FIGHT FOR FACILITIES THE QUESTION of the current lack of facilities for Halifax Court and James College has come to a head following recent developments over the past few weeks.

Although University Admin were reluctant to give too much information regarding the situation, one source said “There is a meeting on the 10th December between the provosts of all the colleges, the ViceChancellor and Andy MacDonald (Head of Facilities Management) and facilities for both James and Halifax Court is one of the main items on the agenda.”

However, Glen Dewsbury, speak-

“They don’t realise students can sit in a group and have objectives” ing on behalf of the University stressed, “No firm decisions have been made”. He added, “We are in the middle of refurbishing the residential area of Halifax Court at present and nucleus facilities there are an option but at present we are only looking at it.”

Mark Evans, Dean of Halifax Court, also stressed the fact that no concrete plans have been made. “A business plan had been put together but there is nothing definite. I am desperate to get facilities there and

we will know by the end of term if the money is available. At the moment we are doing as much behind the scenes as we can”.

However, Ffion Evans, ex-Chair

“We are more determined then ever. We won’t be fobbed off” of Halifax Court, confirmed that she had been told that Halifax Court will be granted facilities as of next academic year. She explained, “Helen Woolnough, SU President, and I were told in confidence by University authorities that we will be getting full facilities. But I don’t see why we should have any loyalties to them.

They are acting like they are giving us these out of generosity but it is only because it suits their plans.”

She explained that there were many reasons behind the University granting Halifax Court its long-awaited wish of facilities. One of these being that accommodation for 280 post-graduates had been over-looked and had to be built before the start of next year.

She added, “They haven’t even consulted any of the residents in that area, there are a lot of family houses.

This is all just a re-play of the James saga.”

“There has been no student representation in any of this, only our Dean has been to all the meetings with

admin. It’s pathetic, they don’t seem to realise that students can sit in a group and have objectives and as a result there are now just loads of rumors flying about”.

Despite this Ffion emphasised that she was pleased that Halifax Court was finally being recognised, “I just resent the way they are being so underhand and I feel really sorry for James”.

Rebekah Lane, speaking on behalf of James said, “It is disgusting that there is no definite answer or plans for James College. At present we are the largest college on campus and we don’t have the facilities or resources to support our members.

“The University is acting like they are giving us this out of generosity, but it’s only because it suits their plans”

“These recent developments have made James College more determined than ever. We won’t be fobbed off by idle promises anymore, we want a concrete plan. I think the university seriously needs to re-evaluate their priorities. We will be liaising with the next JCRC and SU to decide on the most effective step forward.”

Helen Limbrick

MENINGITIS SCARE ON CAMPUS

A SECOND year student, hospitalised with meningitis, is described as “stable and improving”. His parents are with him.

HELPLINES

For advice and information please call:

The student, who was living in the Tang Hall area of York, was taken to York District Hospital on Sunday 21st November. He has been diagnosed as having suspected meningoccal septicaemia.

Sue Hardman, Academic Registrar for the university, said: “As a precaution, close household contacts of the student have been traced and advised to contact the University Health Centre, where treatment is available.

“Infection is very uncommon and appears to be due to individual

It’s something which people think will never happen to them susceptibility. For this reason most cases in the United Kingdom are isolated and sporadic.”

Speaking to Vision: Dr Will Patterson, from North Yorkshire Health Authority, added: “Almost all cases of meningitis are isolated; it is not a catching disease. .

“In fact research shows 25% of students carry around the germs quite

University Health Centre: 01904 43 3290 Pete Campion-Smith, DPWAA: 01904 43 Nightline: 01904 43 3721 National Meningitis Trust: 0845 6000 800 Meningitis Research Foundation: 080 8800 3344

harmlessly.”

Pete Campion-Smith, the Student Union’s Deputy President Welfare and Academic Affairs, said, “We were very concerned when we heard what had happened and did our best to alert students to the possible symptoms of the disease, without alarming them.

“But we are now pleased to hear that he is stable and that he seems to be recovering.

“It’s something which people think will never happen to them, and I think this has really raised awareness across campus.”

York Student Vision

Alex Fenner, a student at York, said: “It’s very serious but because the symptoms can be similar to freshers’ flu, I think a lot of people hesitate before going to get it checked.”

Meningitis has many potential symptoms including fever, headache, vomiting, neck stiffness and a purple/ red/brown rash that spreads and does not fade when pressure is applied.

Anyone who is concerned should seek advice and information immediately.

Wesley Johnson

Halifax Court: soon to gain new facilities?

MILLENNIUM MISERS CONTROVERSY AGAIN surrounds the University’s pay policies as it emerged that porters and security staff who work over the millennium period would not be receiving any additional pay.

The University’s Director of Personnel Ged Murray has has bore the brunt of the criticism from UNISON. Mr. Murray was quoted in the last issue of Vision as saying that some bar staff were “Ludicrously overpaid.” In keeping with this sentiment, he and the Staff Committee had refused to enter into any discussions whatsoever regarding millennium bonuses.

Porters and security staff were officially told of the decision in a letter leaked to Vision. The letter from their trade union, UNISON, informed staff that “Some excellent and very fair agreements have been reached with a multitude of organisations including universities in the Yorkshire region.”

Writing on behalf of UNISON Dick Thomas, a member of security staff, told his colleagues that he has registered the dispute formally with the Head of Higher Education in the region.

“I have asked that the wheels be set in motion for an industrial action

ballot. I am very disappointed with the University’s lack of respect for the manual staff who do an essential job on campus.

“In comparison to other universities the staff here are at a disadvantage. Those at universities of Leeds and Leeds Metropolitan, for example have received very advantageous offers.”

The reaction to Mr. Murray’s managerial decisions is reminiscent of the response of bar staff to the loss of their unsociable hours bonus.

Porters and security staff alike

“I am very disappointed with the University’s lack of respect for the manual staff” would not comment on the likelihood of strike action but none would rule it out.

However, negotiations have been re-opened over the past few days and the Staff Committee have offered a new deal although this does not include any extra monetary bonuses for working over the Millennium. A compromise is in the process of being agreed.

Ged Murray failed to comment.

Tom Smithard & Ben H-C

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

4 NEWS York Student Vision

YSTV NAUGHTY AND NICE

Some of the mud-wrestlers doing their bit for charity.

On Friday of Week 6 a group of female fund-raisers braved the elements for Children in Need. The Goodricke event raised over £1,000 and involved limbo-dancing, mud and a lot of baked beans.

SECURITY SCARE JAMES COLLEGE was the victim of yet another theft as fears escalate over the issue of campus safety.

Thieves broke in through the back door and caused between four and five hundred pounds worth of damage to the pool table which the college only acquired last term. They also stole that week’s takings as well as the batteries from inside the table.

Rebekah Lane, Chair of James College, told Vision “It does anger me because it is the only thing that James College actually does have and it is one of our only sources of revenue. It is very demoralising for both the JCR and the college members. If the pool table wasn’t doing so well we would lose it.”

However police are addressing the problem and the pattern of the break-in fits in with other incidents that have been reported across campus. It is thought that the same peo-

ple are targeting James College in particular and Rebekah is confident they will be caught sooner or later.

This incident has occurred amidst concerns over the number of

“It is very demoralising for both the JCR and the college members” Rebekah Lane: James JCRC crimes on campus. Recent events provoked the University to take on an extra six security guards from an outside company, ‘Constant Security’, who patrol the University twenty-four hours a day. It was reported in an Executive Committee meeting that this cost the University £10,000 a week. However, the future of this arrangement is uncertain and Ken Batten, Head of Security Services refused to comment.

Helen Limbrick

PRICE OF WISDOM THE ECONOMICS department came under attack in an anonymous letter received by Vision over the visit of a Professor Peter Phillips of Yale University.

Professor Phillips, editor of a leading economic journal visited the University of York for a two-week period during November. As part of his visit he had discussions with members of staff about their research and led various seminars.

In the document obtained by Vision, however, it was stated that the professor was paid £20,000 for this two-week visit. This is the average salary of a lecturer for one year or the equivalent of approximately 20 students’ tuition fees.

The anonymous writer of the letter accused the department of taking on Professor Phillips in order to rate highly in the government’s Research Assessment Exercise.

Professor Abadir who organised the visit refused to comment on the issue as did several other members of the academic staff. However, Professor Culyer, Head of the Economics Department, said “I see

The professor was paid £20,000 for a two-week visit. no reason why this visit should upset any members of staff, as far as I am concerned they are all delighted.”

He refused to discuss how much Professor Phillips was being paid for the visit but added “As part of his contract he is supposed to spend a quarter of his year here at York and the rest at Yale.”

However, Vision was refused permission to speak to Professor Phillips himself.

Helen Limbrick

York Student Vision

YSTV’S PUBLICITY for a fundraising event in aid of Children in Need has been removed from campus after having been deemed “offensive and degrading” by the Executive Committee.

The posters, which were promoting a girl bathing in beans for the charity event in Week Six, depicted a first year female student wearing a revealing top and holding two cans of baked beans. However the main cause of offence was the text alongside, “She’s Bean a Naughty Girl...

See her Punished.”

The Women’s Committee, who first brought the poster to the attention of Exec, found it demeaning to women, thereby contravening Union Policy, and were concerned as to its effect on the Union’s Liberation Week, also held in Week Six. “The picture and more importantly the text undermines what we are trying to say about women in domestic violence situations.”

The incongruity of the image with fund-raising and charity was also highlighted by the Exec. John Naylor, Press and Publicity Officer of the SU stated, “It is degrading to Children in Need.” He is considering how to deal with similar problems in the future. “I cannot censure all the publicity on campus but we could restrict the money we give to societies.”

The revised versions of the poster featured no offensive text, a scaled down picture and advertised other Children in Need events but still did not meet Exec’s standards.

However there is no ill will between

FIREY ONE TO ONE CLUB 121 last Thursday was interrupted by what proved to be another false smoke alarm.

One of the offending posters Exec and YSTV, as Becky Wright from the Women’s Committee commented, “YSTV have been very understanding over the matter.”

While Chris Ward, YSTV’s Director told Vision, “It was purely lighthearted and we regret any offence we may have caused.”

Aside from the outrage caused by the publicity campaign however, the event was highly successful. Mudwrestlers, karaoke-singers, limbodancers and baked bean-bathers helped raise over £1,000 for Children in Need.

Jessica Isles

The event, co-hosted by the Overseas Students’ Association and Goodricke JCRC was taking place in Goodricke Dining Hall, when at around 10:40pm the fire alarm went off. The venue was immediately evacuated and the Fire Brigade arrived within minutes, only to find out that the alarm had been set off by the intense use of smoke machines.

“There seems to be a reliability problem. You send in a booking form for an event stating that you are going to use smoke machines and you would expect college administration to be prepared accordingly”, the events organiser Phil Worre told Vision.

The standard procedure for such a case would be to simply switch the fire alarms from smoke sensitive to heat sensitive, an action that had not been properly carried out in the preparation of the event.

More than 200 boppers had to evacuate the venue at a time when the dancefloor was packed and the evening was heading for a climax.

Linus Koenig, President of the OSA stated “It was very unfortunate, people were really starting to enjoy themselves.”

Phil added “I can imagine that the firemen have better things to do than attending to false fire alarms.

Mistakes happen all the time, but it could have been potentially dangerous in the case of a real emergency at the same time.”

Bob Sinclar

ANIMAL RIGHTS AND WRONGS Students voted to lift the ban on Proctor & Gamble products that had been endorsed by the Students Union at last week’s UGM.

These products had been officially banned from sale in the SU shop as a protest against the company’s animal testing policy.

In a statement read out at the UGM a spokesperson for P&G said, “Let me stress we do no ongoing animal tests on our products. We only test on drug products or when we have a major product change, to ensure the safety of totally new ingredients.”

Gareth Knight, a leading figure in the campus Tory society and proposer of the motion to lift the ban, told Vision “The ban was ineffective and very anti-freedom of speech.

“There is a disturbing sense of apathy regarding ethics on campus” Jacob Hope, YorkLEAF

“Yes, testing on animals is unethical but P&G are trying to use alternative methods of testing. They have actually been praised by animal protection groups for their development of alternative testing procedures.”

However in an interview with Visiosn Jacob Hope, a representative

of YorkLEAF argued “P&G are one of the largest corporations still testing on animals. Their record is appalling.

There is a disturbing sense of apathy regarding ethics on campus. People seem to think ‘If campus is already unethical then what difference is one more company going to make?’”

YorkLEAF acknowledged that without the weight given to the ban by the SU’s official support it will be difficult to continue the boycott.

However they urged students to “Remain motivated and boycott P&G products on an individual basis.”

During a heated debate at last week’s UGM, the SU was accused of

The next Victim?

being ‘hypocritical’ over not stocking P&G products by Gareth Knight, whilst John Naylor, Press and Publicity Officer, accused the SU of being ‘unethical’ in general. This was an issue that divided the SU officers, with Pete Campion-Smith, Deputy President Welfare and Academical Afairs and Brendon Fletcher, LGB Officer speaking against P&G. The issue seems set to remain contentious despite the official lifting of the ban.

Ben Hulme-Cross

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

6 York Student Vision

POLITICS

STARVED & TORTURED

Chris Loveman talks exclusively to Ameen Ayodele about his first hand experiences of human rights repression by the Togoese government

FOR NINE days, Ameen Ayodele was held in a cramped cell, naked and without food. His captors regularly beat and tortured him, and threatened to shoot him. His 'crime' was being a legitimate human rights worker.

treatment have proved counter productive.

Amnesty international showed great concern for his well being, and he is determined to continue his work.

"This is what I need to do to repay the organisation for the gesture…. my commitment is a hundred times stronger than before", he explained.The effect of his period in detention, not knowing whether he would live or die, has been to deepen his respect those other human rights workers who work in dangerous areas and situations in Togo and around the world.

Having experienced first hand what many face everyday, he says "it makes me salute their courage to know how deep their commitment is, and how serious is their concern".

Ayodele recounted his story to an audience at Leeds University on 15th November, as part of his British lecture tour. In May, while returning from Ghana to his home town in Nigeria via the country of Togo, his passport was stolen.

When asked for identification by Togolese border police he had only his amnesty international ID card. When this was shown he was placed under arrest and subjected to nine days of confinement and abuse.

However his organisation launched an

The State of Affairs

When asked for identification

by Togolese border police, he was placed under arrest and subjected to nine days of confinement and abuse.

urgent appeal for his safety, and 250,000 letters of protest were sent to Togo from around the world. As a result Togo's government agreed Ayodele's release on 27th May. Indeed, Ayodele told me that such action had reaffirmed his dedication to his job, "because of the solidarity and support demonstrated by Amnesty International".

The arrest was a knee jerk response to the charity's report on Togo issued earlier that month. It detailed numerous atrocities occurring in the West African republic: routine use of torture and murder by security forces; intimidation

of journalists and dissidents; indiscriminate killing of Togolese citizens.

During the presidential elections in June the army committed scores of murders, both of civilians and of their own soldiers. Human rights workers like Ameen Ayodele are particular targets for the security forces. During his detention a terrified Adoyele was forced to lie down while a policeman aimed a gun at his head. Clearly, Togo responds to such people

with violence and terror. In August under international pressure Togo consented to a United Nations investigation into human rights violations on its soil. But life remains extremely dangerous for those within Togo who want to preserve human rights.

"They don't want to be politicians, they don't want to share power, …they just want to do their work as human rights defenders" explained Ayodele. In his case cruelty and mal-

Gassingbé Eyadema, President of Togo, seized power in 1967. With material and financial support from France for much of the intervening period, he is black Africa’s longest-serving head of state.

He was re-elected in the June polls, despite opposition claims of intimidation, vote-rigging and violence.

Mr Eyadema, who recently described himself as one of the three most significant figures of the 20th century, alongside Mother Teresa and the Pope - has denounced the Amnesty allegations as “a tissue of grotesque lies”

EUROPEAN DISUNITY?

Danny Goldep takes a look at the views on Campus of the worsening Anglo-French relations over the recent beef crisis BRITAIN IS again at war in Europe, and this time there is not a dictator in sight.

Foreign affairs have moved from refugee crises to food safety, with the UK deadlocked against its closest neighbour over British beef.

The French ban on UK cattle has created a tide of anti-Europe sentiment that has amused the tabloid press greatly.

This attitude has worried the Young European Movement (YEM), a group that aims to persuade and educate students over the benefits of Britain’s involvement in Europe. In an

York Student Vision

interview with Vision Amy Wells, President of the university YEM, attacked tabloid newspapers as ‘irresponsible’ over the way they have reported the beef crisis. She believes the issue is “being used as a cover for xenophobic views which will get us nowhere”.

This is not a position shared by Gareth Knight, vice-chairman of campus Tories, who told Vision “we are right on this issue, we should not back down”. He added “the French are being extremely hypocritical given that there are more occurrences of BSE in France and Belgium than here”. Ms Wells accused the Tories of being hypocritical themselves, given that they handled the BSE scandal so poorly in office, problems that she said “Labour were forced to deal with” after the general election.

The beef row is likely to go to the European Court of Justice if it cannot be resolved amicably, and pressure will be put on France to lift the ban. Ms Wells argues “without the EU it would be impossible to get the beef ban lifted” and said that this has been ignored by the Conservative Party. The Tory vice-chair called the European Union a “French Protection racket established to protect their own interests’. Mr Knight claimed that the weak support Labour has given to beef

farmers is typical of the Party’s ‘anti-countryside’ attitude, pursued to keep popularity with voters in the towns.

So Who is Right?

Scientists and even the European Commission have acknowledged for months that there are no scientific reasons for the ban to remain in place.

Britain still has more reported cases of BSE than any other EU country. although this year’s figure of 1,000 so far contrasts sharply with a peak in 1992 of more than 36,000.

A total of 174,857 cases of BSE have been reported in Great Britain since 1988.

The disease is predicted to die out in the first few years of the next Millennium.

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

York Student Vision POLITICS 7

THE BLAIR HITCH PROJECT Toby James considers the implications of the Blair babe for the British media and culture of politics THE NEWS of the pregnancy of Cherie Blair seemed to leave some media bosses with a dilemma. While the tabloids were unreserved in their enthusiasm, the so called ‘quality press’ have been more cautious.

The party mood was broken at the BBC when a producer at the daily 9am editorial meeting said TV and radio bulletin editors were told not to lead the news with the pregnancy. The decision followed a row between Radio 4 Today presenter John Humphrys and his editor Rod Liddle when it was dropped as the main news item from 7.30am.

The ‘quality press’ may feel obliged to chew over social issues such as the proper age of parenthood, the impact of children on their parents (especially mother’s) career, but come May they will be as engrossed in the story as the rest of the nation. For sure, Mrs Blair is about to undergo the most closely-watched pregnancy since Diana carried William nearly two decades ago.

The implications of this pregnancy is massive for the British Politics. It has the potential to have one of the most profound impacts on our political culture, the country has ever seen.

While many have cited the increased electoral appeal the PM will gain at the next election, the implications run much deeper than this, and this entirely because of the reaction of the media.

Certainly, though it is a spin doctors dream.

The patter of tiny feet around Downing Street will give new life to the family image which worked such magic for the Blair’s in 1997. The Tory spin doctor Amanda Platell has long recognised the public appeal of a Hague child, and close associates in central office disclosed that she had hoped Ffion would produce a votescoring bundle for William to cradle before the election.

As a further source of electoral appeal, anthropologists say that tribes feel reassured by the knowledge that their chief is a fit, virile man: it touches a primordial nerve. And there will even be a sympathy vote: will the nation cast the

It is a spin doctors dream. The patter of tiny feat around Downing Street will give new life to the family image that worked such magic for the Blair’s in 1997.

Blairs out of Downing Street, making a oneyear-old child homeless? But the crucial impact of the pregnancy will be the adoption of Cherie and Blair away from the world of politics and into the world of celebrities. Away from the New Statesman, Private eye and the Economist and onto the front page of Hello.

The nineties has seen an explosion of the role of celebrity in British culture. It has been the growth industry of the past decade. Never before have people been interested in others just because they are famous for 15 seconds.

While we all may like to carp from the sidelines, there is barely a sole in the land that can

claim complete disinterest in every celebrity on our screens. While we may complain that newspapers are full of rubbish, we will always stop to see whether Gerry Halliwell is going out with Chris Evans or not. And there is some choice too.

Everyone’s in on the game - the celebrity culture seems to offer someone everyone can identify with. From a toilet a cleaner who couldn’t drive very well in a docu-soap but ended up opening supermarkets and making records just because she was so ordinary (Maureen Rees). Through to Tara PalmerTomkinson, a friend of the royals, made the big

time by giving Charles a peck on the cheek while knitted out in tight ski-wear and thus managed to become, in her own words ‘a celebrity type thing.’

Nowadays instead of our the royal family, its actually Posh and Becks who are wearing the crowns pretending to be the King and Queen of England. The public attention has turned from those in power to give a new kind of power to todays celebs.

What the media’s obsession (which there will be) with Cherie’s pregnancy threatens to do is to bring the Blair’s into this new domain. So how will this effect politics?

Firstly the Blair appeal will be boasted as mentioned. Unless there is complete collapse in the economy, the next election will be virtually assured.

The virtue of a family image in Politics is highlighted by the success of the Kennedy’s in the states. And it endures.

Secondly, it will re-define the terrain on which politicians must compete to challenge Blair. Stable economic policies are one thing, but without unless we feel we know this person, their life, their times, they don`t stand a chance.

The public agenda will be changed. The dumbing down of politics could take a new meaning.

Crucially this will effect the way we perceive publicly elected officials. This is uncharted waters for the British. Never before have we had a baby born to an incumbent Prime Minister.

Never before have we had spin doctors so ready to spoon feed us what we want. And never before have we had a media so ready to exploit every last drop of information The argument between John Humphreys and Rod Liddle may then be a microcosm of the argument that is to come. Hopefully so. Rather this than it be the last-guard of discussion before politics goes down the of a slippery slope of death into media nullity.

PENSION TIME BOMB: AN ETHICAL FOREIGN POLICY? Our lecturer’s pensions are being ciphened off to support unethical foreign multinationals, writes Catherine Elliot

‘ETHICS FOR USS,’ a campaign to end the use of lecturers’ money for dastardly ends has recently been gaining momentum at York and universities nationwide.

All of our lecturers, much as it pains us, are eventually going to throw up their wrinkled hands and bow out of our lives and the university. They thus contribute some 6% of their monthly earnings to a pension fund, called USS, as do the administrative staff. There is nothing peculiar about this.

The saddening aspect of their pension plan is that it is a highly unethical investor. The University Superannuation Scheme (USS) has £17 bn of our lecturers’ cash in its keeping. It invests it in many companies engaged in activities that few of them would condone, such as direct or indirect violation of human rights, and destruction of the environment. Moreover, it is rather coy about revealing its full investment profile to its members.

USS helps to fund some of the ‘big baddie’ companies we justifiably love to hate. They

corporate buttresses of the Burmese military dictatorship, receives a further £44 million.

A lesser-known but equally iniquitous mining company, Rio Tinto receives £86 milllion.

It’s a brutal employer and appalling environmental polluter in Indonesia and Brasil.

Rio Tinto were recently described by a House of Commons Early Day Motion as ‘probably the most uncaring and ruthless company in the world.’

Astronomical waste of money? invested £42 million in Nestle known for their aggressive formula-milk marketing in developing countries, allegedly causing the deaths by starvation and disease of thousands of babies.

Total, an oil company that is one of the main

York Student Vision

The essential problem is that USS applies no ethical filter to its investment, financial maximisation being its only goal.

Glaxo Wellcome, another beneficiary of USS, according to Mike Childs of Friends of the Earth ‘are showing an apparent disregard for the need to reduce pollution and protect peoples’ helath from dangerous chemicals.’

Addtional money has gone to British

Aerospace who have been selling Hawk Aircraft to arm the Indonesian government since 1978.

The essential problem is that USS applies no ethical filter to its investment, financial maximisation being its only goal.

This having long been regarded as a sad but inevitable consequence of living in our world, there is now a move to make USS an ‘ethical investment scheme’, thereby joining a fastincreasing sector of the stock market.

Following the campaign’s endorsement by the Association of University Teachers in May, there have been knock-on effects: the British Coal pension fund has expressed interest in carrying out an environmental audit. ‘Ethics for USS’ has pointed out the huge potential for change of such financial pressure on unethical companies.

The campaign held a national ‘Week of Action’ earlier this month and is calling for university staff to “come on board”.

For further information on USS or the Ethics for USS campaign please contact soc204.

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

York Student Vision 9

Vision

FEATURES

York Student

HALL OF FAME

WIN! FLIGHTS TO NEW YORK! FOCUS ON FLORENCE A BITE TO EAT

YORK PAST AND PRESENT

CHANNEL 4’S COUNTDOWN A QUICK DRINK

INTERVIEW WITH A PROPHET

Photograph by Dave Hogan

Claire Kilner talks to the student cast of In-Betweeners, about living on top of each other, staying up all night meeting deadlines and being banned from campus before term-time had even begun.

NOW THEY’VE left “Uni” for good, all their friends have gone, and the only way to revisit their mad and crazy student days is through the nostalgic filter of the cinematic screen.

Darren Fisher, 26, has just completed filming The In-Betweeners, his first feature length film on location at London University. The stars of the romantic comedy about student relationships, Jane Peachey, 22, (she featured in the last ever Hamlets advert as a newly-wed who hysterically sobs when her cake flops,) and strawberry blonde Kate Loustau, 22, join us for a post-production drink at the home of BAFTA. There are the nervous giggles, awkward silences, and stilted conversation, of a student journalist interviewing a director and actresses unaccustomed to press. Their careers have only just kicked off, the ink on their own degree certificates still wet.

York Student Vision

But how do they feel, having finally ‘left’ university? “You feel on a bit of a downer...You can’t try and recreate the atmosphere.” admits Darren. “ It doesn’t matter if you get together with these people again. When you’re working, you’ve got another reason to be there, and it’s very difficult when you’re just going to hang out or something,” he moped. Not that leaving university is much of an issue.

Spending such a long time together during filming was extraordinary. “Yeah. I mean, it was really weird, y’know it was a long day, and after spending that much time together, it’s like you’re in a different reality. I don’t even like it now. I want to be back filming.” said Kate, shuffling her image-conscious tiger stripe slip-ons, neatly tucked under a blue pvc pencil skirt.

Meanwhile, Darren protects his credibility as a peppy up-and-coming new director by airkissing luvvie-sweet-nothings to the excitable fresh new talent sat opposite

The In-Betweeners was filmed on a tight schedule, in a “fixed window of time”. This fictional university becomes an edit hotch-potch of Westminster, London, and East Anglia. Still, you never know where you are, because “the whole movie never leaves the campus.”

Darren produced and directed, working 20-hour days, 6-day weeks, for a month, during the last week of which, security threw cast and crew out of their green room, because “we caused too many stains on the carpet.”

Consequently, a halls study-bedroom had to double as both studio and green room. Staying true to the cozy student-stereotype of squalor, Kate said actors, actresses, costume and makeup departments, were left “fighting for space on the bed”.

Not that it matters much. One of the makeup girls had been banned from the halls-of-residence anyway, following a slanging match with a jobs-worth security woman. “We had to creep

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

10 FEATURES York Student Vision

Dead Man Talking The medieval Mystic Meg: Nostradamus transgresses time to talk to Alex Watson and Stephen Hardcastle about his legendary visions.

THE SECOND World War. The Kennedy assassination. Man on the moon. Weetabix. All of these momentous events were ‘predicted’ by ancient French scholar, Nostradamus.

Oh yes, and a third world war-cum-nuclear holocaust, consuming all Europe in flames. So what was the crazy old fool on about? Here, for the first time, he speaks to the press, about life, the world, and everything.

Vision : So, Nostradamus, first things first : why were you wrong?

Nostradamus : Three wars collide / As Europe burns / Chaos will reign / And from Gaul conflict will low.

V : What?

V : Look, for the purposes of this interview, lose the old French rubbish. Anyway, what about this Third World War, and Europe being consumed in flames?

Have you got anything to N :

up in the future? Anything definite?

N: Ah, Well, there’s my brand new Nostradanswerphone. People can ring it up 0891 567 891 - and get on the spot accurate predictions about the future direction of the world. Or call 0891 567 892 for my update on all the latest sporting news.

V : Sounds great. Have you got anything to say about Mirror astrologer Justin Toper’s remarks t h a t

with my own website. Nostradamus dot com, its sponsored by Pepsi. I predict Coca Cola turns out to cause cancer. And warts.

V : Do you have any predictions for the future?

N : Not that you need to worry about it... er, I mean, yes. Yes I have. I’ve seen a revolutionary form of dental surgery that could cut operation times in half and a machine to help disabled children interact better.

V : Sounds like you’ve b e e n

I’ve fully embraced technology with my own website, sponsored by Pepsi. I predict Coca-Cola turns out to cause cancer. And warts.

say about the Mirror’s Justin Toper’s remark that you’re a “washed up Gallic has-been, still stuck in the dark ages”?

Well, if you refer back to the prophesy I just made...

V : That was a prophesy? Sounded like bad Sixth Form poetry to me.

N : Rubbish. What do you think the beef conflict is? It’s a conflict. From Gaul. When I said ‘Europe in flames’, I simply referred to those big incinerators. I was right.

V : What about the millennium? Doing anything special? Hiding from the apocalyptic forces that you expect will be unleashed by the year 2000?

N : Well, actually, I’ll be mixing some tracks at throbbing London club, Amoebaphile.

V : Dance music?

N : Yeah. I’ve got a new album, my new prophesies over a trance back-beat. It’s totally far out.

Complete with an up to date chart remix by Fatboy Slim.

V : Sounds great. So have you abandoned those obscure old French quatrains then?

N : Well, frankly, my credibility took a real blow. Surprisingly few people can read old French these days y’know.

V : You think it was the fact you wrote them in old French that cause people to call you a loon?!

Er, well anyway, what else have you got coming

THE IN-BETWEENERS

Photograph by Marysia Lachowicz

dreams and strange panoplies of images.

N : Yeah, they come to me in my sleep. Or when I’m beefing out on some gear. Although funnily enough I did get a fair few rather strange ones unveiling themselves the night before my new book was due in at the printers. About 392 pages of them, in 12 easy to read chapters, if you must know.

V : Fortunate. Weren’t you chancing it leaving it so late?

N : Nah, I knew it’d be ok in the end. And when I say that, I mean it.

V : Right. What about York University’s future?

N : Er.... I’ve a feeling that the spirits of dead geese will prevent those who think bad things of them from entering the “houses of heaven” of James. And I hear very loud banging noises coming from the place they call “the heart of campus”. It’s 3 on the doors and no one’s there except the “originators” mates, who all got in for free. And then the place painted in sick

you’re a “washed up Gallic has-been, still stuck in the dark ages”?

N : Toper ought to watch his mouth.

Not that he’ll need to for much longer... (coughs) I mean, he can talk. I haven’t had any work related problems all year and I certainly didn’t meet a friend from abroad yesterday. And I’m not going to start a new relationship tomorrow.

V : But are you really moving with the times?

N : Of course, I’ve fully embraced technology continued from p.9 the make-up girl in, like under a big coat or something, and hide her, and every now and then, someone would go ‘Security!’ and we’d have to hide her under the bed,” squealed Kate.

“I was talking to them for an hour, trying to get them to let her back in,” explained Darren.

What was the row over? “Just something really ridiculous,” Kate shrugged.

But, run-ins with security are a traditional part of the British student experience. And it was two ‘porters’, taking eleven takes to say two lines, which disrupted an overnight filming stint. They blamed the birds. “I didn’t realise, but birds start singing at about 4.30am. And we’re shooting, and it’s fine, it’s dark.

And there’s these birds just going mental.

We found that if we made a loud noise, the birds would stop for about five seconds. So we smacked this board twice, and the porters ran in and said their lines really quickly. And you could just tell in the performance that they were just trying to say their lines really quickly,”

York Student Vision

watching too many episodes of Tomorrow’s World.

N : Er... and the large bush will rise / And the red fairies will be

eaten.

V : Shut up. Anyway, let’s get back to the point.

Where do your predictions come from? Tea leaves? Magic cards? Visions?

N : Well, Vision’s up to the minute reporting does help.

V : Actually, I meant visions as in mystical laughed Darren. But I have omitted to tell you about the plot. It’s about students. That is the plot. “Relationships are a big issue at university because you’re away from home for the first time, and you’re living on top of each other.” explains Darren.

There is the ‘first love’ couple who lose their virginity, the couple trapped in a cycle of splitting up and getting back together, and unre-

Actors, actresses, costume and make-up departments, were left “fighting for space on the bed” quited love. “I don’t want there to be a very strong plot. It’s not about the plot,” he argues.

“It’s just how the relationships develop. We’re just taking these characters through their first year at uni. It could be that there weren’t any resolutions to those stories.” Which makes sense really. Relationships at university are denied any immediate sense of resolution

will erect seven sheds.

V : Sounds like next year’s fresher’s week’s going to be better than ever, with all that originator stuff. So given that your can see the future, did you never think of becoming a betting man? Winning the lottery?

Taking over a vulnerable Arab state before anyone knew what oil was?

N : (Mystically) Who says I didn’t?

V : Er, well if you did, why are you here plugging your new album and 0891 phone line?

N : Yeah, you’re right. Basically, it was a chronic case of mismanagement. Y’know, you can only keep the parties going for so long.

Birds and booze cost money. And I mean the cost of booze these days, who’d have forseen that? Er, apart from me. Obviously.

V : Well, last question now. Will the millennium be the biggest party ever, a redefining moment in society, or the end of the world?

N : Well, y’know, it’s difficult to say. Er I dunno. Bit of both I guess.

because they are contextualised within an aslong-as-your-course-lasts living arrangement.

They are just left hanging, a loose end.

The In-Betweeners can be perceived as a carthartic piece of Darren Fisher’s, to overcome “the downer” of leaving university. Even the opening credits become a collage of his old college snaps, and features everyone caricatured in the film. The characters evolved from his personal experiences and friends at Norwich University. “We just kept splitting up because there was never going to be a reason to split up; it never worked, so we kept getting back together.”

Yet I’m not entirely convinced that Darren can be accused of realism. Anthea Turner has certainly never cleaned the toilets down my corridor after a campus bash. Not even in a cameo role.

The Inbetweeners was produced by Britpack, and is due for general release in May next year.

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

PUNCH UP Email vs. Snail-mail!

ATTACK

DEFENCE

E-MAIL IS a wonderful thing, indisputeably. It is quick, cheap and efficient. Far more convenient than your average letter which is, as the term ‘snail mail’ suggests, so slow to arrive that by the time it actually does, most of what is written becomes completely out of date.

IN LIFE I have nearly always managed to avoid using computers. At college I never went near the dreaded computer room, and only when the pressure of my coursework forced me to do so, did I venture thus far.

But, of course, “It’s so much nicer to get an actual letter”. This is precisely the kind of woolly thinking that is holding the evolution of the human race back. Yes, letters have been touched by the actual skin of the sender, with the ink freshly dried from their no doubt personalised pen.

But get a grip. In the world of business and commerce, with varying time zones and immediate effect, mimsy soppiness has no place. In terms of personal relationships, e-mails allow messages of just a few words or a few pages. And where else can you sud-

I tried my best to get out of that though, spending months begging my teacher to let me give it in hand-written, but did she let me? No of course not. That old cow wouldn’t... but don’t even get me started on that.

First things first: I really don’t see any fundamental reason for the net. And I don’t

denely and spontaneously talk to friends and family in a split second? ( barring phones, of course!).

Okay, so you can’t perfume emails, but they sure save on the extortionate price of a stamp and suddenly realising that the damn letter is still in the bottom of your bag waiting to be posted months later. Anyway, the letter may end up dog-earred or torn to shreds as the ravenous machines at Royal Mail earn their keep.

In addition to this, it is actually possible to have conversations via e-mail which really isn’t viable by post unless you usually talk with two week pauses between your sentences.

Of course, it’s possible that there won’t be an opposing argument tothis column, if the luddite writing it sent it via second class with the good old postie. I’ll just stick to the informa-

G Owens and C Philpott

Catherine Murphy

FEATURES 11

FOCUS ON...

Florence Felicity Chester samples the ‘dolce vita’ of the cultural capital of Italy, famed for its fashion, football and food.

BE PREPARED to put on a few pounds and feel the waistband on your trousers tightening. That’s if you are determined to spend any time in Florence.

Forget the ‘Derwent College Extravaganza’ at Ali’s Kitchen and instead sample some authentic Italian pizza. This is complemented by an irresistible ‘Caprese’ salad made with Italian Mozzarella (far better than Kwik Save’s

The only e-mails I have are from obscure societies that I drunkenly joined at the start of my first term. know about you but when I found out that practically everything is done by e-mail here I nearly fainted.

Luckily I have a very patient (well he was for the first hour and a half anyway) housemate who sat me down and showed me master it all.

But what’s the point? As soon as I summon the courage, I encounter throngs of lankhaired ‘net-heads’, desperate for their next fix of on-line bliss.

Once logged on, the only e-mails I have are from obscure societies that I drunkenly joined at the start of term; or emotionless, twoline sentences from friends, who like me just can’t take the strain. Add to this the constant tap-tapping that echoes around this haven of computer cultdom and it’s a scenario hardly suited for intimate communication across the web.

Each time I emerge out of the stifling heat of this virtual hell I swear to myself - never again! And anyway, what’s wrong with a nice chat over the phone? Or a gossipy letter from a mate back home? Forget it! From now on I’ll only be putting pen to paper...

The letter may end up dogearred or torn to shreds.

E-mail is far superior.

York Student Vision

top of the Duomo. It’s a tiring climb but well worth the sights over the entire city and across to the Tuscan hills.

Another must is a trip to the Uffiri, even if you are not an art connoisseur. It boasts a wide collection of artworks - the gothic through to modern art are inspiring. Besides, many of the images would be instantly recognisable to even the most anarchial art historian.

Florence as a city grew in wealth due to its close links with Europe. Certainly, even today this thriving mercantile atmosphere is evoked in the main shopping precinct around the nineteenth century Piazza Della Republica.

Surprisingly, not every shop stocked Gucci and Prada. However, this chic city remains the place to go for good quality and reasonably priced shoes and handbags.

Top European names can be found including Ted Baker and Paul Smith if you persist in hunting them down. Don’t be fooled by fakes if your keen on DKNY or Calvin Klein.

Sport is a religion in Florence. Well, foot-

Florence - home of Fiorentina and Argentinian heart-throb Gabriella Batistuta

Don’t come away without a Gucci bag. own brand); tomatoes and fresh basil.

There are an abundance of restaurants in this beautiful city and I can only recommend exploring for yourself, especially East of the river. It’s a cliche, but sightseeing is definitely the order of the day . Fight your way past the flashing cameras of the large excursion groups and discover for yourself the unique views the

ball is anyway. The majority of Italian cities have two main football teams. Rome is home to Roma and Paul Gasgoine’s former club Lazio and Milan has Internazionale and A.C. but Florence is the home of Fiorentina alone.

Argentinian heart-throb Gabriella Batistuta, with his long blond mane sets hearts on fire with his goal-scoring exploits.

And nightlife? Well, we found the Italian alternative to Ziggys, and from about 5pm every evening there are always people handing out flyers for free entry to clubs, so get the vino down you at supper and enjoy a cheesy evening with the over friendly Italian Stallions!

Flights on Meidiana cost £140.00 return for our 5 day stay and a very decent 1 star hotel in the Centre cost 90,000 Lire for a single room, 130,000 Lire for a double and 180,000 Lire for three sharing. To work this into sterling divide by three thousand and hope for the best!

A commercial-free christmas? Bah humbag! There’s more chance of a white one, protests Barbara Stainer ‘SLEIGH BELLS ring, are you listening, in the lane snow is glistening, we’re just walking along, singing this song, walking in a winter wonderland.’

O.K, so my wording for this little Crimbo

ditty may not be accurate...but hey, like begets like, coz it sure ain’t an accurate portrayal of Christmas for the most of us. The bells I hear at Christmas don’t belong to Santa’s sleigh but to the local church, ringing out for an all too early 6am mass, and the only winter wonderland I see is down the high street at Woolies.

This isn’t cynicism, I’m up there with the best of the festive fellows. But when I walk into BHS at the beginning of November to find a

York Student Vision

veritable grotto of Christmas crap - chocolate shaped millennium bugs, spinning and singing plastic Santa’s and drinking games for ‘those with real Christmas spirit’, it all just seems that little bit excessive. I confess I’m a romantic at heart, and sure, just like Mr. Crosby I’ve been dreaming of a white Christmas for 19yrs.

I want the picture perfect Christmas, you know, the one that exists only in Coca-Cola adverts. I want the 10ft tree, an obscene amount of perfectly wrapped presents spilling out beneath with some carolers banging at my front door for a bit of ‘Silent Night’.

But it’s about time I admitted to myself that Christmas, despite what the Americans believe, is not all fluffy white streets, and good will towards all men. For most, it’s two weeks of

playing couch commando, with a family tin of Quality street in one hand and a bottle of dry white in the other. It’s two months of consumer chaos as people battle over the last ‘Tinky Winky’ or attempt to mow down with their trolleys the OAP who pinched the last box of Mr. Kiplings exceedingly good Mince Pies.

It seems that our good will has been washed down and spat out with a good helping of commercialism. Sure, we all nod and smile and feel comforted by the festive spirit as the Salvation Army stands collecting outside Debhenams, assured that this is the season of giving - but bets on you drop 50p in the hat and march straight to the counter with a tenner for some of those chocolate novelty bugs. Yep, ‘tis the season to be silly...fa la la la la ....

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

Vision York Student

IN ASSOCIATION WITH TRIPOD

YOUTO

COULD BE SENDING

NEW YORK CLOTHES, BAGS AND OTHER PROMOTIONAL STUFF UP FOR GRABS AS WELL

ANYONE CAN TAKE A BITE OF THE BIG APPLE. . . . . .

MAKE IT..

ORIGINAL SNAZZY FUNKY AND DOWN RIGHT SEXY!

1. Go to www.tripod.co.uk 2. Click on ‘build homepages’ 3. Follow instructions given by the ‘quickpage builder’.

4. Select your own title layout and colour scheme to make the site distinctively yours. Choose a theme, it can be anything from the millennium to ant farming!

5. Insert text, graphics, photographs, contact details, a guest book and links to other pages with a click of your mouse-button.

6. Congratulations! Your homepage is finished and will be on the World Wide Web in minutes.

7. When you’ve finished just email vision@york.ac.uk with your name, contact details and your new website address.

DEADLINE: MONDAY WEEK 9, (13TH DECEMBER) in assossiation with Lycos

York Student Vision FEATURES 13

COUNT ME OUT

Greg Paterson encounters conundrums, Carol and Christmas at Channel 4’s Countdown A COLD November evening saw twenty over-enthusiastic students travel to Leeds to witness the quarter finals of that bastion of Channel Four, Countdown.

One phone call to Yorkshire Television was all that was needed to get the tickets on their way, and for us, the opportunity of a lifetime.

It is what dreams are made of: an audience with Vorderman and Whiteley. In many ways though, such dreams were to be shattered. In reality, the infamous numbers game was a bit of a farce. The truth was to emerge - Carol doesn’t do her own maths! (An old bloke with a clip board emerges at any point when the numbers get too difficult for her.)

This apart, it was to be exactly what had been expected and more. We were lucky enough to encounter the shows due to be screened on 20th and 21st December and it was a Christmas Wonderland! The battle was on between Carol and Dickie as to who was to get the most tinsel and baubles, and in true Countdown fashion the lady won hands down.

We had the honour of being ‘warmed up’ by Mr Cheese himself, that household name Greg from Radio Scarborough, who assured us that he presented the hilarious breakfast show to thousands of eager listeners. It was what the punters wanted, as by the introduction of the great man himself, the ‘blue rinse’ brigade were

A LOAD OF OLD BALLS Vanbrugh

Wed Wk 9, £18

James

Thurs Wk 8, £25 Leeds United FC

Alcuin

Tues Wk 9, £28, Racecourse Richard and Carol - but does our reporter give them any prizes?

rolling around the aisles in hysterics.

You may have thought that with a degree from Cambridge, Richard was merely playing

Whiteley is as stupid as he comes across on TV. the fool for the cameras. But no, alas, he is truly as stupid as he comes across on TV screen. The jokes were awful, the decor tacky and contestants stereotypical geeks - we were in ‘80’s paradise!

This theme was continued in the dress sense of Vorderman, stunning though she was, powerdressing was clearly the order of the day.

Arrogance of dress was to be coupled with stark arrogance of character, as the happy go-lucky ‘Queen of Channel Four’ was to continue to ignore the audience and everybody else in the room when off camera.

Richard though was a true gent. Although declining the offer of joining us for a pint and a chat in Leeds, he did comment on how he loved York and his fond experiences of the University in particular.

A shake of the hand and an autographed whiteboard was to top the day off nicely, as all returned home happy in the knowledge that we had met a true great of British light entertainment.

Langwith

Tues Wk 9, £23 Royal York Hotel

Derwent

Tues Wk 9, TBA

Goodricke

Wed, Wk 9, TBA

Wentworth

Tues Wk 9, TBA

A QUICK DRINK & A BITE TO EAT

Full of the festive spirit Vision’s own little Santa’s helper Wesley Johnson, seeks out the best Christmas party venues to be found in York.

James Buchanan ventures into the trendier watering holes of York, and finds out that luxury decor goes hand in hand with nice prices.

THIS WEEK a pub crawl around some of the more trendy bars in that bizarre cobbled maze bit of town up at the top of Parliament Street. These offer an alternative to those who tire of the traditional, old or raucous pubs that otherwise dominate the area’s drinking landscape.

WILDES

It’s interior reminded me distinctly of well off merchant’s cabin in an old sailing ship (something to do with the ceiling). This bar was not exactly packed when we turned up on Wednesday night. Apparently its full on the weekends though. It doesn’t serve pints but has the usual range of pricey foreign bottles.

KITES

This bar seems to be frequented most regularly

OSCARS

by students, so I’ll keep it brief. Hidden away in a side street, Oscars has seating both on two levels inside and in an open courtyard, protected by heaters in these late autumnal months.

The drinks are a little over the usual price found in York but it does have Staropramen on tap. Plus, it does cocktails by the jug, and has a better than average range of spirits and wines that I later encountered in the other bars. The top floor can be booked for parties with a fine range of munchies provided.

My housemate had never seen any of the Slug

SLUG & LETTUCE

and Lettuce branch before he came to the “big smoke” of York but then he does come from half- an- hours drive up a deserted mountain in North Wales. If you’ve been to any Slug, All Bar One or Pitcher and Piano in any other town then you won’t be surprised by the setup.

Practically next door to Wildesthe decor is strikingly different in it’s sharpness. Again it gets busy on the weekend and its ‘interesting, cool, foreign’ beer is the quite heavy Hoegaarden, which is served with a slice of lemon floating in

EL PIANO it like a deflated and muddled glass of Sol. Try it, it’s very odd but try it. You probably don’t want to be fully consious so as to avoid focusing too clearly on the hairy details of the waitresses armpits. Be prepared for over priced coffee and wannabe muscicians strumming away bare foot upstairs. They have a playable piano in the front cafe. Generally good for chilling; you will either love it or hate it.

All the bars serve food, I particularly recommend the Mexican Steak Sandwich at Oscars . The even greedier could try the King’s Castle

York Student Vision

FIESTA MEHICANA offers students one of the best places to eat in the city.

From the outside, it’s your standard Mexican restaurant, but the food and service help create one of the most memorable nights I’ve ever had in York.

to the club is about as short as it can get.

For those wanting a bit quieter atmosphere, Bella Pasta in Low Petergate offers a wide range of Italian food and wines. A main meal of pizza or pasta will cost from £5 to £10, with an NUS discount of 20%. They can cope with bookings of up to 50 people and their set Christmas menu offers a three course meal for An array of sombreros overwhelm the £12.50. But don’t expect the quality of food to ground floor, but below there is a larger area for be anything much beyond a glorified fast food chain. bigger parties.

The lively atmosphere If the ultimate in cheesy If the ultimate in cheesy discos is more your taste, and friendly staff combine discos is more your then The Willow (above to get you in the mood for a great night out. But it’s not taste, then The Willow is Richards on Coney Street) is the place to go. as if you need any encourthe place to go.

Although having tackled agement - jugs of sangria the stairs on the way in, are only £7.25 per litre!

This busy restaurant offers a choice of food getting down them at the end of the night is to suit all tastes (as long as it’s mexican!) and is often more of a problem. ideal if you’re in a large group where everyone Even though their Christmas Menu only offers two courses for £15.95, the licensed bar likes something different.

If your forte is scorching hot and spicy and disco continues to 2am on selected nights. dishes, then there’s plenty to choose from. For And if you’re eating on a Sunday, you can have those of us with less tolerant taste buds, the as much as you want from a choice of over 10 main courses and starters for £7.50 a head.

Chicken Chimichanga is a personal favourite.

Main meals range from £6.25 to £12.45 However, The Willow suffers from a dingy with a 10% NUS discount, but a party menu (for decor, which may prove off-putting to some 10 or more) is also available. At £12.45 a head, students. a selection of starters and main courses can be All the restaurants offer a good choice and range for vegetarians. provided.

Fiesta Mehicana is right next to The Gallery on Clifford Street, and so the stumbling distance

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

Grass, Glitter, Gl

Vision takes you on a whistle-stop tour of York U

60’s Chilling out in Hes. Hall’s topiary

THE SIXTIES: men’s hair got longer, women’s skirts got shorter and the air of student campuses was thick with revolutionary politics and marijuana smoke.

Surely the students of our very own York University - a true child of the flower-power era – would have been at the very forefront of this new, radical, liberated generation?

Well, erm…no, actually. Perhaps the freezing, windswept cold of a half-built campus in the North of England didn’t quite lend itself to sit-down protests and

70’s

mass bra-burning, or perhaps students were just to busy ‘largin’ it’ down at the ‘Society’ club in Bootham, or mingling with the bunny waitresses in ‘Tiffany’s’.

Either way, they still elected Tony Banks as their SU President in 1966 described as: “capable of being almost pleasant and cynically amusing when moved to do so, he goes about in mists of power with genuine visions of himself as potential Prime Minister”.

‘rock’ Langwith dining room.

Nouse, ever at the cutting-edge, didn’t even bother to review the gig.

Their only comment was to question the “psychological and physical effects of psychodelic [sic.] music” apparently on display at the so-called “Jimi Hendrix Dance”. They also published a letter – we can only hope ironic - lamenting that “the dining-hall looked like a box of sexually obsessed fishbait”.

But when it came to politics, music or drugs York students seem rather, like, really square man. They even had to get written permission to spend more than one night away from campus!

Believe it or not, York’s achievements on University Challenge remained as dire as ever. In 1967 it even provoked one incensed parent to write to the University and remark that: “I have at last found an institution which will recive them [his children] without their knowing anything at all.”

But the year had its highs when, in February, guitar-legend Jimi Hendrix did

Still, proximity to the lake does at least seem to have stimulated a keen sense of eco-consciousness among York students.

In 1965 a university ‘Duck Club’ was set up and announced its intention to breed flamingos.

Two years later, the rival ‘Muscovy Duck Club’ was established with perhaps even more ambitious plans which its spokesperson outlined: “Each member should take four ducklings to his or her room and hand-rear them…the club envisages the fountains in the lake being turned off to allow all members, human and otherwise, to have a dip.”

then kidnapped and ransomed by students from visiting universities.

He was also to appear before York Magistrates Court on two charges of inciting violence and threatening criminal damage, having urged students to make Molotov cocktails with which to fire-bomb the Heslington branch of Barclays Bank.

Fortunately for Strange the Court believed his defense that he was “only joking” and he was free to pursue life beyond university. On leaving York, Strange quickly found a job marketing an innovative new game imported from America…the Frisbee.

Meanwhile in 1971 plans for a new col-

Then again, insanity seems to have afflicted a large proportion of those on campus in the 70’s. How else can we explain the (ultimately successful) campaign to win for York an accolade the envy of any other academic institution.

For, in 1974, York students successfully shattered all previous world records for... the number of people sitting on each others knees in a continuous line.

Perhaps the only explanation for these sorts of antics is an absence of anything better to do – certainly when it came to musical entertainment.

‘The Who’ did play Central Hall in 1970. For the rest of the decade though, the top-forty and the list of acts who’d

1969: Sky’s the limit?

The freezing, windswept cold of a half-built campus in the North of England didn’t quite lend itself to sit-down protests and mass bra-burning

For much of the decade the top-forty and the list of music acts who rejected the chance to play Central Hall displayed a disturbing correlation.

1974: Knee’s-up in York as lege are unveiled, its name – Wentworth. world record is broken With uncharacteristic insight Nouse noticed that although the planners were THE BEATLES had split-up working to a budget drawn-up in 1967 and Hendrix departed for the “building costs have in the meantime great concert hall in the sky. In risen by at least 15%, which must mean York however, it seems students that the college will be created somewhat ‘on the cheap’”. didn’t really start to catch the Certainly by 1976 the poverty of sixties spirit until the advent of their surroundings seems to have led the seventies. residents of Wentworth to believe they If any one man can be credited for were fit only to be shared with furry leading the revolution, surely it must be rodents. Wenty students voted that year one Nigel Strange, elected President of to make ‘Zoe’, a five-and-a-half month York SU at the end of 1969. In the course old ferret, an honorary member of of his year in office Strange succeeded in Wentworth JCR with full access to all of twice being lured into a drunken stupor, its facilities, including the bar!

rejected York display a disturbing correlation. ‘T-Rex’ and ‘The Rolling Stones’ were among the most illustrious groups to ‘nearly’ make it to York, only to pull out at the last minute.

Still, at least this left plenty of time for students to devote themselves to political causes: be it sit-ins to ban the bomb, regular and rather amicable occupations of Heslington Hall, or such mass demonstrations as was held in 1976.

The radical agenda of the latter?

Nothing less than the demand that “education cuts end and students receive a higher grant”.

1967: Hendrix rocks in Langwith

The 80s - Mr T. sets the trend for female fashion

lam & Grunge...

Uni’s millennium...(well, thirty-odd years at least!)

1982: Protest fever cuts in educational funding that when in 1981 Nouse reported that “Plans are afoot to drain the university lake and to totally relandscape the central area of campus” there was a storm of protest.

It was alleged that the costs of cleaning the lake could no longer be afforded.

However the story was eventually revealed as a hoax which succeeded in fooling large numbers of students into attending a protest meeting which turned out to be located in Goodricke ladies’ loo.

80’s

York University came in 1984 when Bob Geldof and the Boomtown Rats hit town.

Contrary to campus rumour, Geldof’s hyping of the crowd to dare dance in Central Hall, did not actually damage its structural integrity. It did result, however, in the University having its license for holding live concerts in the venue being revoked.

The uni did make attempts to sue Geldof.

Rather inconveniently, however, Live Aid and the canonisation of ‘Saint Bob’ intervened. The legal proceedings were quietly

In 1985 porters were surprised to discover a dead goose on top of an THE CAMPAIGNS of the seventies oven in Vanbrugh A-block: drunken conference guests were blamed were in vain. The eighties brought Thatcher, boom and bust econom- Not all, though, were forced to survive on the dropped in 1986. ics, mass unemployment and worst breadline. In 1983, Derwent cleaning staff Meanwhile in 1985, Porters were surwon £22,000 on the football pools. A fort- prised to discover during the summer a dead of all - synthesisers.

Other challenges included big hair: a large proportion of the o-zone layer was to be sacrificed in attempts to imitate the likes of the New Romantics’ and Wham.

Such was the concern at the degree of

night later, the collective mathematical genius of the computing service saw them also record a big win – and they took happy receipt of a cheque for 72p.

Surely a defining point in the history of

goose on top of an oven in Vanbrugh ‘A’ block. A decade on we can only hope it was a student, and not some drunken conference guest, who finally wrought vengance upon the oldest enemy of all on York campus.

The 90’s - Right Here, Right Now!

THE 1990’s - it’s been our decade.

Yeah, sure, we were born at the end of the ‘flared up’ 70’s or the beginning of the ‘JR loving’ 80’s, but all our childhood memories of poor fashion and Eweing oil aside, we gotta claim the nineties as our own.

Okay, so alongside the rest of the decades the past century has thrown up at us, the 90’s seem kind of bland. There’s been no braburning, no peace-loving, no shoulder-pad wearing and no Rick Astley - tragic.

But before stepping in your nearest Tardis and heading back to the good ol’ days (hopefully taking Sylvester McCoy back there with you), our decade’s had a few defining points

of its own. Thanks to a bunch of plucky, highspirited and even higher-heeled gals, girl power was born. Eight year olds nationwide took to the streets, doing shoulder high kicks whilst roaring ‘zig-ah-zig-ahhhh’ at the unsuspecting public.

Those too old, or simply with too much self-respect to be impressed with a bit of ‘Spice’ philosophy, turned to the lads and ladettes for support - donning some combats and downing a pint in seven seconds - attitude for the adults.

But high-heeled trainers and over-sized trousers to one side, the essential message for the nineties was the same: ‘Go get what you want, get it now and get it good.’

And what with the colossal growth of telecommunications over the past ten years,

headed?) enough to take time off to conduct bands and in 1994 showed the world his difficulty with leaving aeroplanes.

In sport, well please bare in mind I have just watched the start of the first test against South Africa...but doesn’t anyone consider it a trifle odd that the English Cricket team are worse than Zimbabwe’s.

I’m not going to add anything to the discussion about whether someone should be paid the GDP of a small country for his ability to kick a football. In boxing, who can forget Mr M. Tyson’s bizarre episodes in the

'I wrote a mad song called Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport, a sort of Bellafonti Calypso with an Australian flavour. Here was this bloody song with this unashamedly Australian voice at number 1 and I thought, 'I've spent all these years trying to be British, how stupid'.

Rolf Harris, 1990 'It was us and Oasis what started Britpop really, we both sort of came about at the same time...I've never said we're an indie band. We want to appeal as much to Take That fans and Barry Manilow fans' Shed Seven, 1996 'He's a Satanist. He normally kills a small animal before every recording. It's a side of him that the public don't normally get to see'.

Lee Hurst on Gary Lineker, 1996 'I'd rather have shingles than watch most television' Tom Baker, 1998

'They were the only people who would have me. At the interview, I was able to and the strengthening influences of the media, identify all sixteen species of duck found we demand more. Not only do we want good in the university grounds...my interviewer let me in automatically' friends, but we want improbably good-lookHarry Enfield, 1998

ing friends with great jobs, great hair, drinking great coffee.

We want sensitive boyfriends and skinny girlfriends, we want jobs which fulfill our lives and fill our pockets. We want it all and we want it now.

Demanding? Perhaps. Self-indulgent?

Undoubtedly. But surely it’s been a happier decade as our dreams and demands have led us far, far away from the excesses of 70’s glitter and 80’s glamour.

An understated, overpriced decade we may have been, but now more than ever we know what we want. The nineties has grabbed its cake, and it’s gonna eat it.

THE NINETIES have put in a fair Russia? President Yeltsin has the nuclear boxing ring. effort in the race to be crowned the capability to kill me and quite a few other What of fashion and TV? You may think people but still has felt light hearted (or is that that clothes in this decade have been reasonmost ridiculous decade ever.

When all’s said and done that title will surely fall to the 2780’s BC (described by one historian in his book The Years of Bunkum as “recklessly silly”); but some attention should be paid to some of the acts of upstanding nonsense that have occurred in the past ten years: In politics, the election campaigns for both General Elections have been quite odd and the actions of various ministers have bordered on demented.

However, for high quality ridiculousness we have to look elsewhere. How about

THE THINGS THEY TOLD VISION...

'I get it from things around me...It's quite funny as I remember having an argument with an ex-girlfriend and in the middle of the argument she said something and I was thinking 'yeah good line' Sanjeev Bhaskar on his comedy inspiration for Goodness Gracious Me, 1998 'The Europeans can't do pop music..The English can do it, the French can't - they're just not speaking the right language.'

Terry Wogan on Eurovision, 1998 ' People are dubious as to why I got the part...Acting was something I'd always wanted to do....Ever since I started modelling I wanted to act. There's a certain affinity between the two ...acting comes from within and from life experience.'

Emma Noble on Popcorn, 1998 ' I was at uni myself for about 96 minutes...I had just enough time to check out my timetable...I had lectures first thing in the afternoon and thought 'no way man'...you still have the taste of toothpaste in your mouth all that time!'

Craig Charles, 1996

'It's idiotic. It's a real bugger..I'll probably be down the pub as usual with my mates..' ably reasonable but just watch some early Emma B on the millenium, 1998

90’s TV. What the hell was the idea behind Pump trainers? Talking of old videos they also show the fount of so much lunacy in this period - Vic Reeves, Harry Hill, Paul Merton et. al.

In retrospect the 70’s do look to have just beaten us and they can’t simply be disqualified for reasons of excessive use of narcotic stimulants- just look at the pupils of the bands on some of those early episodes of The Word.

Contributors:

James Buchanan Sarah Chappelow Victoria Cole-Jones Ollie Franks Barbara Stainer Rebecca Sweeney Gareth Walker

16 York Student Vision

FIFA’S THE ONE

Linus Koenig entertains himself with FIFA 2000 FIFA 2000 Playstation, £29.99 Graphics: 9 / 10 Sound: 10 / 10 Gameplay: 8 / 10 OVERALL: 9 / 10



It was worth the wait. The ultimate football game is back with full force.

(And Robbie Williams).

Loads of similar games popped up in the meantime, but they only turned out to be second rate copies. EA sports, the producer of the ‘Fifa’-series, also tried to cash in on its most successful product. The disappointing ‘Premier League Stars’ earlier this year was a combination of poor game-play, annoying sounds and commentaries and ludicrous in-game ideas.

But FIFA 2000 is just what we wanted it to be. Almost...

Everything we valued in its predecessors is

improved, and long-overdue alterations have been added. It’s much quicker, the graphics are more realistic and the game-play itself is very smooth. And the music...Robbie Williams shouts on the top of his lungs ‘It’s only us’, some unidentified ska-combo rips the loudspeakers apart, along with Apollo Four Forty.

The game itself is much more fun. You get more free kicks, although its harder to score from them. The tackles look worryingly realistic and the players go berserk during the goal celebrations.

As for the options available to the football fanatic, nearly everything is there. Play a complete league season with all cups and European fixtures included. Then try to compete for places in Europe the following year. The new Champions League mode with its two group stages is also included.

If you fancy having a go at Danish, Greek and Turkish football, go for it. You can even play Major League Soccer (if you’re desperate). Transfers are also more realistic, ensuring that Watford FC can’t buy Ronaldo.

One of the new options introduced is the classic teams such as England 1966, Milan 1988-90 and France 1984. Take Bobby Charlton and play against Beckenbauer, Pele, Platini and the likes.

Although it looks as though the producers tried everything to make the available options very accessible, annoyingly, I still couldn’t figure out how to play a multi-player game in the league stage.

Basically FIFA 2000 is a great reason to stick with your trusty Playstation, rather than trade it in for an oh-so fancy Dreamcast.

INDY INFERNO Alex Watson cracks his whip and avoids boulders, spike traps, and of course, those troublesome Communists in the new Indiana Jones game In order to do this, Indy has to run, jump, Indiana Jones And The swim, climb and shoot bad guys through each Infernal Machine level. Which isn’t exactly new – after all, it’s

PC CD, £29.99 Graphics: 9 / 10 Sound: 9 / 10 Gameplay: 8 / 10 8 / 10 OVERALL: ‘(Swearing) this infernal machine’ seems to be a fairly regular utterance around the Vision computers, but for the purposes of this review, it’s 1947 and life is much simpler. There’s no need to worry about Windows and its errors, because computers take up entire Universities, while struggling to work out two plus two.



So what’s the infernal machine that’s worrying Dr. Henry ‘Indiana’ Jones if it isn’t a computer? Back in biblical times, the Babylonians built the infamous Tower Of Babel.

And God knocked this failed attempt to reach heaven down…

Or so the Bible says. But the Russians (yes, it’s 1947, so it’s Commies not Nazis), complete with suitably comic rent-a-KGB-agent accents in the cut scenes, believe that the tower actually housed a machine more powerful than the A-bomb. And of course, it’s up the world’s most famous archaeologist to stop them.

Which is where the player comes in. The

The cinematic feel lifts ‘The Infernal Machine’ well above average. The music is brilliant, a note-perfect version of the famous film score. latest Indiana Jones game is now a Tomb Raider style 3D action-adventure. You take control of Indy as you trek around the globe, chasing Communists, and trying to recover the pieces of the infernal machine before they do.

standard Tomb Raider fare. But this is Indiana Jones, and to accuse Indy of stealing from Lara Croft is frankly ridiculous.

Ultimately, it’s the movie feel that lifts The Infernal Machine well above average. The music, although a little too sparse in occurrence, is a note-perfect version of the film score, and swells impressively through the speakers each time something dramatic happens. There’s numerous in-game cinematic sequences featuring an appropriately wry voiced Indy (unfortunately not Harrison Ford, but good enough) and lots of comic Russians.

The game’s graphics are great – Indy swaggers along, removing his hat to wipe his brow.

And then of course, there’s the whip. Along with the light-sabre, it is a cinematic legend in its own right, and it’s put to good use in the game, even if it’s a little obvious when you need to use it.

The levels are huge and one of the best features of the game is the huge scope of the levels – massive cliffs and temples, stretching away and filling the whole screen.

The only thing that’s disappointing is the linearity of the game; there’s still really one route to take. However, this doesn’t spoil the overall feel of the game, which does the films proud.

(NOT QUITE) DOWN WIT H THE MASSIVE Alex Watson gives a big-up to Ali G, and his new video, Innit

Ali G, Innit.

Channel 4 Video, £13.99



Ali takes us round his hangouts in Staines. And whilst they’re pretty good – especially the descriptions of gang war in the playground, these new inserts are few and far between.

The other problem is that at nearly an hour and half, this video, whilst being laudably comprehensive is difficult to watch all in one go – it’s much better just to watch a couple of interviews here and there.

However, maybe this is me being picky (that, and I used all my ‘Ali G is great’ phrases

Big Up, I is here wiv… Ali G, obviously. Yet again our favourite yellow suited clown invades Telescope, not to mention our TV screens, with this well timed compilation video.

For those of you who don’t know, Ali G is the hilarious ‘voice of yoof’, a comically dumb

There isn’t much ‘nuff unseen footage’ – a couple of inserts here and there as Ali takes us round his hangouts in Staines.

The video can’t really fail with its selection of Ali G interviews – they are classic examples of spoof comedy

‘street’ interviewer who speaks to the high and the mighty on all matter of subjects. Only Ali G isn’t exactly the cleverest of presenters you’ll ever see – witness him asking Sir Rhodes Boyson if he thinks kids should get caned in school, then following that with “Why teach in kilos and grams when you should really deal in ounces, quarters and eighths”?

Ali G is a ridiculously over the top portrayal of all the middle class white boys who want to be black rappers from the proverbial hood.

This video features the best of his previous

York Student Vision

in the 11 O’Clock Show article last time) and despite the paucity of new material, this is one video that will stand repeated rewatching. interviews from the first two series of The 11 O’clock Show. He covers everything from environmentalism to feminism.

The video can’t really fail with these interviews – they’re classic examples of spoof comedy, as good as anything Chris ‘Brass-Eye’ Morris has ever done, and much funnier than the usually risible Dennis Pennis.

However, there’s not much ‘nuff unseen footage’ – a couple of inserts here and there as

WIN! Win the Ali G Video, and more, see page 20...

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

York Student Vision TELESCOPE 17

SANTA’S BOOKCASE The Telescope team take a look at some of the best (and the worst) books out this Christmas Timeline

by Michael Crichton

The Onion : Our Dumb Century edited by Scott Dikkers Boxtree, £9.99 For those of us who aren’t fully paid up New Labour literati, the millennium will doubtless be a great disappointment.

For those watching TV as the clock ticks down, the BBC is certain to wheel out Angus Deaton to pass a caustic eye of the last 1000 years of our history. Unfortunately for Deaton, this book is not just a funnier version of his headline bashing, it’s just about the funniest book I have ever read.

The Onion is a satirical American newspa-

space. recall whether he

Boxtree, £9.99 or class i c Mcarthyera paranoia as the Onion proclaims “Outer Space Falls To Communists”, as Gagarin becomes the first man in Reagan doesn’t

For those people who even think of raising a smile at the ‘satire’ of James Joyce’s Ulysses, I can only recommend this book to them as evidence of real humour per that ‘misinforms half a million readers a week’. This book, presents a newspaper front page for almost every year from 1900 to 2000, each presenting the real historical ‘facts’ in a way that seems to tell the real story even more truthfully, and even more hilariously.

Fortunately, the Onion bears little resemblance to lamentable American ‘comedy’ (like Police Academy), and is much more similar in vein to The Simpsons.

I’m currently reading a cross section of English literature’s finest offerings from 19001950, and for those people who even think of raising a smile at the ‘satire’ of Joyce’s Ulysses, I can only recommend this book to them as evidence of real humour.

Witness rat pack era Sinatra giving “Krushchev 24 hours to ‘Drop This Commie Bunk or It’s Ring-a-Ding-Ding for You Bozos’”,

was elected, and the unveils crack, a cheaper, more powerful form of Cocaine, to make “drug addiction more accessible to inner-city poor”, and Coca-Cola becomes the official sponsor of World War 2. Quite simply, this book is brilliant, and will make a great present

CIA

,

This science fiction novel from Michael Crichton, author of Jurassic Park and creator of ER, is different from the traditional time travel story.

An American company has developed an apparently scientifically plausible way of travelling to another time - space travel based on quantum physics and the theory of multiple universes.

A professor from an archaeological dig goes missing and a ‘help me’ note dating back to 1357 is found. A group of students are then sent back in time to rescue him. This is when things start to go predictably pear shaped and there is a race against time (or is it space) to get home safely.

There’s lots of factual detail, and it tries to persuade us that the whole thing could really happen.

However, when the group finally travel back in time the story becomes somewhat c o r n y .

Alex Watson

Interestingly though, this is the point at which you start to care about the characters - vain but sensitive Chris Hughes, feisty Kate Erickson, and Andre Marek, a fearless leader yearning for a 14th century lifestyle.

The book’s style is dry and reminiscent of popular American drama, and it full characterisation could only occur with actual actors. The hospital scene could be straight from ER while the eloquence of the characters has the implausibility of the X-Files. Undoubtedly the characters are supposed to be experts in their fields but it seems even more unrealisitc given they’re students.

At times the background information can be overwhelming and you long for the story to just move forward. However the movement from the modern world to fourteenth century France, where all is action and adventure, sadly highlights that if it wasn’t for Crichton’s factual accuracy, this would be another run of the mill time travel tale.

I found the novel disappointing. It promotes little compassion and doesn’t fire the imagination, or question the boundaries of possibility any more than any novel of this genre.

But at least you learn a lot about physics...

Holly Cartlidge

Nalda Said

by Stuart David

IMP Fiction, £7.99 When I heard that Stuart David, Belle and Sebastian’s bassist had decided to put pen to paper I was filled apprehension.

His songs are limited as they’re mostly based on his embarrassment at telling his future wife that he loves her. When I picked up the book and I noticed that the cover star was a clay

This tale would fit better into a three-minute song rather than a 150-page novel model of Karn my suspicions grew worse.

Nalda Said is the story of a nameless, paranoid lead character, hindered by those who won’t understand him and, (surprise) his embarrassment in telling a nurse that he loves her. The plot’s slow and the language awkward but whether this is due to writing in character or inability to write structures longer than song lyrics is uncertain. The novel isn’t a reflection on missed opportunities, but nor is it a feel good story where everything ends up perfectly at its conclusion. David never takes the easy option in plot development, yet whilst this is normally a good thing, here the plot is so thin and the dialogue so poor that the twists soon become tiresome.

How much of Nalda’s autobiographical is difficult to determine, but if David doesn’t lighten up soon, he may follow the path of Fleetwood Mac’s Peter Green into insanity. It’sa touching account of one man’s desire for friendship and normality. Yet this tale would fit better into a three-minute song ratherTom than aSmithard novel.

Advertisement

Life Isn’t All Ha Ha Hee Hee The snowmen had to look happy when Gran bought them the complete works of

by Meera Syal James Joyce IMP Fiction, £7.99

Life Isn’t All Ha Ha Hee Hee, is a bittersweet look into the lives of three British Indian women.

Part of the new British Indian generation that has been a hot topic of recent conversations and television programmes such as Goodness Gracious Me (another of Syal’s credits), this book charts their lives in a refreshingly uncliched way, which makes it accessible to all.

The three characters begin as sketchy stereotypes that epitomise growing up in Britain with an Indian heritage, yet as the book develops, Syal moves themaway from Goodness Gracious me style cartoons, depicting their emotions with vivid and subtle sentimentality.

We meet Chila first, on her wedding to Akash, the attractive Punjabi lad with a reputation of being a ladies man. Chila herself is a meek lady who works at the local supermarket without any educational aspirations.

Tania, her friend who lights up a fag during a relgious ceremony, is a brash documentary producer, who, whilst coming acorss as someone shunning her Indian culture, yet yearns for

it more than she lets on.

Sunita is the mix between the two; she met her husband Akash at law school where they smoked joints all day instaed of going to lectures. Now she has two children and works for the CAB whilst Deepak sits in his study working on his PhD, and counselling marriages, when his own is slowly crumbling away.

The way the three polarised lives come together is brilliant, and the intensity of their friendship is apparent. Syal mixes a third person narrative of the characters with first person monologues which provide a real sense of intimacy.

This book is beautifully written, and far more than an astute perception on the Indian British cultural fusion, as Syal digs d e e p e r into the struggles of being on the cusp of motherhood and marriage and the inrtricacies of friendship. The result is a strong and highly readable book.

Book of the month

Millennium

Anthony Coleman Based on the televsion series and looking at the history of the world through the eyes of remarkable individuals.

Rajini Vaidyanathan

Book Reviews in association with BLACKWELL’S

University Bookshop, University Of York, University Road, Heslington, York, Y010 5DU (Tel 01904 432715)

York Student Vision

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

18 York Student Vision

ARTS Sponsored by YORK THEATRE ROYAL

WHATS ON! York Theatre Royal (01904) 658162

STUDENT STANDBY ONLY £3 Please telephone for details of current events

15th December - 23rd January OLD MOTHER MILLY

York Grand Opera House (01904) 671818 5th December NATIONAL PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA OF RUSSIA 6th-11th December BLOOD BROTHERS 16th Dec. - 9th January SNOW WHITE & THE SEVEN DWARFS PANTOMIME

NO JOKING, DAN Sarah Mort talks to Dan Antopolski about spandex glasses, Lee Mack’s Bits and the pleasurable feel of animals!

IN UNDERTAKING the arduous task of probing Dan Antopolski about his life, career and personality, I discovered that despite being a quirky comedian on-stage, he plays quite a different character off-stage.

After successfully coming runner-up in the 1998 Jongleurs New Act Competition; and the Daily Telegraph Open Mic Awards, Dan Antopolski, stunned the judges with his imaginative comic talent when winning last years BBC New Comedy Award. According to Dan this triumph has merely given him the opportu-

Comedy Genius: Dan Antopolski

Barbican Leisure Centre (01904) 15th - 18th December NODDY York City Art Gallery (01904) 551818 11th-23rd January FAIRYTALE & FANTASYCHILDBOOK ILLUSTRATIONS

D UP

mid. Jan., Theatre Royal, Y. 658 162), where I shall proudly be an heckling member of the audience, and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (16th Dec. – 9th Jan., Grand Opera House, Y.671 818), headlining with Hunter the Gladiator as the Eighth Dwarf, Sleazy – otherwise known as Prince Charming.

Is that too harsh? Male readers please take note: That much muscle should be shamefully covered up in my opinion – perhaps he would be more befitting in the less lycra-hugging role of Bashful. Mmm…(Oh no he wouldn’t! Oh yes he would!).

For the more discerning Christmas theatre‘TIS THE season to be… bawdy. goer, ‘The Snowman’ is being performed at Unassuming towns across the country The Peacock Theatre in London (0171 863 are once again preparing themselves 8222), and the Royal Shakespeare Company for an annual festive tipple of are treating audiences to a spellbinding performance of The Lion, the Witch and the Pantomime this month.

Wardrobe at Stratford-Upon-Avon, (01789 403 This year not even the Aston Villa Lions 403 – Students may prefer to go FREE to a are immune to the phenomena of squeaky reading given by the voices and frilly company of a selection Not even the Aston Villa Lions are cross-dressing as a of seasonal extracts from form of children’s immune to the phenomena of squeaky Lewis’ Tales from entertainment, when voices and frilly cross-dressing as a Narnia). With a guest they give a quasiform of children’s entertainment appearance of Santa rendition of Alladin Claus himself (yes, the at their grounds in real one) and CS Lewis’ Birmingham - all in the name of Christmas traditionally moral message, the play will not (29th-30th December, 0121 326 0388). fail to leave you without a tasteful helping of Certainly worth seeing (Oh no it’s not! Oh yes Christmas good cheer. And perhaps a present it is!). from Santa if you’ve been a good student...

Our own pride and joy, the artist formally known as Jorvic, will be the host to two this Vicky Kennedy month. Old Mother Milly (15th December –

N U RO

York Student Vision

nity to be offered more live performances, without the hard work of having to try and promote his talent himself.

The twenty-six year old is the proprietor of his own West-End comedy club, Kool Eddy’s; where he acts as resident compere. His other credits include television appearances on BBC1s ‘Stand-Up show’ and BBC2s ‘Comedy Nation’, and the sell out shows ‘Comedy Zone’ and Lee Mack’s Bits’, both performed at last year’s Edinburgh Festival.

Dan’s wish to pursue a career in the comedy industry was only discovered two years ago, after trying stand-up for the first time. He loves making a room full of people laugh as he modestly says “It makes me feel like a God”. No ordinary God however, rather a mysterious one, “wearing spandex glasses!”

Dan has been writing poetry for seven and a half years, for which he assures me he has always had a natural talent. Several books, under his real name John Hegley, have been published, containing simplistic and bizarre rhymes about dogs and visiting the butcher’s shop!

Despite coming across in conversation as quite passive, with his apparent lack of desire to disclose much information about his life and career, Dan did state that he would like you to know that he finds the feel of animals against his skin pleasurable, and was once caught smuggling his pet mouse in his shirt! Also when he was a young boy he poo-ed in his Mother’s chest of drawers! Needless to say, Dan’s character and style of humour appear quite distinctive.

You can make your own mind up as he is performing with Karen Taylor at the Carlsberg Ice Comedy Network night on 9th December.

BORDERING ON BRILLIANCE

The city of York has been rendered a touch of cosmopolitan chic with the opening of its new culture-magnet, Borders.

YES, BORDERS has finally opened its doors to become a veritable nest for York’s culture-vultures and book worms alike; conveniently just in time for Christmas.

If you fancy a multi-media experience with all the vogue of a London’s Oxford Street, promptly install yourself on a comfy leather couch with a copy of the latest Alan Bennett and slurp that cappuccino, sweetie.

This hive of literature, film and music will have you buzzing with excitement, so be sure to bumble along if only to patronise the swanky cafe and soak in some cultural vibes!

Borders has been likened to the fictional “Fox Books” of the cult Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan big-screen romance, “You’ve got Mail”. If you are baffled by this simile, all will be revealed: Meg Ryan plays the owner of a small-time book shop which becomes severely threatened by the opening of Hanks’ upmarket “Fox Books”.

Likewise, its counterpart Borders is surely the book shop to close all book shops.

However, rival businesses will certainly be the

Bookworm heaven

only parties who are not instantly converted and amazed by the selection, facilities, space and atmosphere which this venture has to offer.

Borders really ought to place a disclaimer above the main entrance as those who lust after books will find this establishment truly inescapable. If this applies to you, allow several hours for each visit. If not, be warned as the book worm syndrome is known to be contagious, especially when accompanied by the lure of a comfy armchair and the aroma of fresh coffee!

I hear the staff have taken to removing the customers at 10 p.m. by means of a crowbar...

Helen Dempsey

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

York Student Vision ARTS 19

PROUDLY PUBLISHED

Victoria Kennedy meets Kerry Andrew, a poet full of the rhythmic jazz of life and femininity.

ONE OF the main things you notice about Kerry Andrew when you first meet her is her lust for life. Her poems and the recent self-publishing of her poetry, reflect this.

The publishing of thirty-five of her early poems, entitled 'Jazzfish: Selected Poems', under her and her brother Richard's publishing title, eager beaver, is the confident product of three years of hard work, collecting from a whole field of inspirations.

Studying for an MA in music composition at the university, Kerry's poems are heavily influenced by the rhythms of her main musical love, Jazz, most vividly captured in her poems 'Porch Street Blues' and 'Thelonious' (after the fifties blues player Thelonious Monk). Kerry describes, 'I find it easier to write about music than to write to it.' In fact, the title of the poetry itself, 'Jazzfish', humorously forms an amalgamation of her feelings when she wrote the poems, some of which date back a couple of years, when she had just split up with a boyfriend, 'at the time I started to lust after some of the jazz players and when my friend told me there were more fish in the sea, we coined the phrase jazzfish!' The poems have now become symbolic to her of transition and moving on in life.

The poems in 'Jazzfish' mark some of the most personal poetry she has ever written. She not only writes about those around her in the book but also adopts different voices in order to capture new perspectives. In this she is particularly inspired by female poetry, most predominantly the works of Margaret Atwood and Carol Ann Duffy, who capture the voices of other personas, providing new angles to a subject.

Her poem 'Forward' particularly displays this technique, when Kerry writes from a biting

forward she looked at me with vociferous bedroom eyes, downed her gin and to my surprise, yanked me into the night. she wrapped me in her grin, dunked me in champagne, flung back rocks of chocolate that puckered my skin, she joined the dots and rolled me in electric blue paint, stuck her finger in and sucked it lingeringly and oh, was I in love.

Kerry Andrew male perspective, 'some people have misunderstood the male voice and thought I was a lesbian, but readers can take it whichever way they want.' Similarly in her poem 'The Burka', she writes with amazing honesty about the treatment of women in Kabul. In poems such as these she is conscious of the fact that she does not wish to hurt people by her point of view, 'I understand that I must respect other peoples' opinions. 'In Your Chair', was a poem about my dad, which had to be omitted at the last minute, because he didn't approve of it, and I can respect that. It will take some time before he can understand my style'.

SHOWBIZ GLITZ

Jeanette Elsworth and Katy Griffiths, decided to challenge their creative sides when embarking on the task of directing and choreographing the musical 'A Chorus Line'.

"WE CHOSE to do 'A Chorus Line' as it is such a fun piece to watch, be in and direct." says director, Jeanette. It incorporates a variety of dance styles including modern, ballet and tap, alongside some fantastic toe-tapping numbers, so the audience is sure never to become bored.

The musical takes its audience through the experience of an audition for a Broadway show, beginning its story at the first audition. The selection process is based on the characters' personalities, and so as the show progresses, they begin to emerge; each telling their own story to the audience in the form of song and

dance.

This musical differs from most, as its balanced format gives a number of students the chance of playing a lead role, with almost everyone having a solo or duet to perform, rather than having just one 'star' of the show. It also uses far more dance than most, and so in this way differs from the usual song-based shows normally performed in Central Hall.

Jeannete promises proclaims: "We have a fantastic cast all of whom have been working hard since week one of this term to perfect the final piece.� The selection process was not however easy, (Just as in 'A Chorus Line'!), as an overwhelming number of students auditioned for the roles; so unfortunately a huge amount of talent had to be turned down.

The girls have never before tackled such a large performance alone, but Katy has choreographed the whole show herself using her own original dance moves, although keeping it in the same style as the original.

The show surely will not let down its audience as the cast maintain its energy throughout.

You are guaranteed to still be humming the catchy tune of 'One Singular Sensation', with 'every little step you take' for hours later.

'A Chorus Line' can be seen in Wentworth AV: 4-6th December.

York Student Vision

Kerry's style is so strong and honest, yet in a strangely delicate manner. The experience of reading her poetry is in many ways refreshing and yet at the same time shocking, in its forwardness.

Since the self-publication of this book, Kerry is soon to be found in the literary biannual 'Dreamcatcher'; the Lancaster-based magazine 'Pennine Ink' and, as a result of open-mic readings she performed at The York Poetry Festival in October, when she was spotted by a magazine representative, she will have a spread in a future issue of the magazine 'Fire'. Kerry however is the last person to loll in her own suc-

I woke to a blinding white room that smelt of bubbles and turpentine and a scrawl on a cigarette pack by my head that said:

you're mine cess, which she greatly credits to her brother, an editor for a magazine in London. 'None of this would have happened without Richard. Now I'm just plugging away until I can get recognised by a publisher'.

If you want to see her at work yourself, she is holding a jazz and poetry lunchtime concert on Friday Week 9 at 1.15pm in the music hall, where friends are setting some of her poetry to music.

Copies of 'Jazzfish: Selected Poems by Kerry Andrew' can be bought for ÂŁ3, e-mail vejk100@ york.ac.uk to get yours.

PRIMARY SOURCE OF TALENT

IF, LIKE myself, you were under the impression that giving a child a piece of paper and a paint brush was a recipe for disaster, then you too need to make a sincere apology to all those budding 4-11years olds who are enjoying the new style art lessons that are taking place in primary schools today!

When visiting the exhibition of primary school art work at York City Art Gallery I can honestly admit that I was more than shocked

However, these days children are actually being taught about 'real' art. Many of the pieces in the exhibition were the children's own versions of famous and historical artworks by great artists such as Picasso, Kandinsky and Van Gogh. One of the most impressive and overwhelming pieces was an epic collage creating a replica of 'Guernica', which actually resembled the original to an almost unnerving degree.

Work on display covered a range of styles and cultures, from medieval line drawings, to life sized sculptures of men made from newspa-

and amazed.

The work on display was taken from a range of primary schools in and around the York area created by children as young as four, and, after seeing what children are actually capable of creating, I realised that when I was a child I must have been an uncreative failure!

Times have obviously changed since I was at school, when we were told to draw pictures of our families smiling, our pet dog or if the teacher was feeling adventurous, maybe we would be lucky enough to be allowed to paint a bowl of fruit.

per (my personal favourite). As well as traditional ancient Greek, and Chinese pieces.

Some of the most impressive pieces were mirrors surrounded with three dimensional gothic gargoyles, resembling the expensively priced originals that have recently become ever so popular with those of us lucky enough to afford them.

So don't ever underestimate the abilities of children again. I never will! And who knows?

Judging by the quality and potential of the work shown, maybe the next Van Gogh is right here in York!

Sarah Mort

Times have obviously changed since I was at school, when we were told to draw pictures of our families smiling, our pet dog or, if the teacher was feeling adventurous, maybe we would be lucky enough to be allowed to paint a bowl of fruit.

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

20 COMPETITIONS York Student Vision

10% OFF your meal on production of this advert

Freshly made Italian food Extensive Vegetarian menu Breakfast served until 12.00 noon Specials Board - changes every week Excellent Italian lagers and wines Traditional Italian coffees Friendly atmosphere We cater for parties Childrens menu - kids welcome Open 10:00am until late 1-3 Clifford Street York YO1 1RG Telephone: 01904 624474 Fax: 01904 624349

PUMPIN’ ON YOUR OWN

ALI G COMPETITION

WIN! Seen our review in Telescope on page 16?

Want to win a copy of Ali G’s pretty fantastic video?

Well, thanks to Vision and Channel 4 Video, you can! All you need to do is tell us : What one question do you think Ali G would ask York University vice-chancellor Ron Cooke if he got the chance?

Just e-mail vision@york.ac.uk your name, which college you and your massive hail from, and your answer...

WIN!

Vision’s music editor, Steve Haines mixes it up with Fatboy Slim’s new music software Skip To My Loops

PC CD, £19.99 FRESH FROM the vaults of the Fatboy himself comes a new compliment to the increasing range of easyto-use music software.

Skip to my loops is music software very much of the Dance E-Jay school, eminently usable, if at the expense of flexibility.

This is hardy pro kit, but I was surprised to find how much you could get out of the software. Linked together with obviously well planned song groupings, each section of the main sample banks were all set at a user friendly tempo, allowing easy re-mixing, if not composition of the tracks.

The range of samples is good, although what you can do with them is quite limited.

You’re presented with a mixer on screen, then import the relevant file and play with the combinations to your heart's content.

To add to the package, there are the software tools Drummatix and Audiomatix, a sort of do-it-yourself section, with basic sounds that can be combined with your own samples for import. So add in, or start from scratch, the speed you can compose should make you a fortune in about three weeks.

As well as the mixer , there’s a visual guide (again smiliar to E-Jay) to guide the more ‘cut copy and paste’ among us, which lacks none of the clarity. The highlight are the loops themselves, cut from Norm's collection of rarities, and laid in your hands to be abused at your will.

He does it, so why not?

There’s also similar pieces of software from

York Student Vision

Fancy yourself as a budding Fatboy or Oakenfold? Want to win a copy of Fatboy Slim’s ‘Skip To My Loops’?

Coldcut and INXS guitarist Tim Farris. Again the same principle applies, just get the file from the bank add it to the mixer and play.

Coldcut have been pioneering this kind of software for ages, and although there must be a certain continuity through the range, I wondered why the Kleptomania CD wasn't pushed any further by them.

The samples they gave to the collection were definitely worth playing with. The flexibility of each song with the software you programme yourself let you play a lot further with their samples rather than just their songs as with their other software, but again you find yourself trapped by the feature which makes your life easier- the song groupings.

Like many other programs of its ilk, the software is great fun to use, but won't get you married to Zoe Ball- now there's a piece of software...

All you need to do is tell us : Which really great band did Fatboy play bass in before becoming the next best thing to a mobile Met bar party?

Was it.... a) The Housemartins b) The Aston Martins c) The Pine Martins d) Martine Mcutcheon ?

Just send an e-mail with subject ‘THE ANSWER IS A’ to vision@york.ac.uk with your name and college before the end of term. Why not include an answer, too?

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

MUSIC

York Student Vision 23

On the way Home

Sam Stagg and Tim West talk to Paul Oakenfold, Britain’s most popular DJ on the things he brings back in his bags from the Balearics

Oakenfold Profile Claim To Fame: ‘Sparked the acid-house during England’s Summer Of Love in 1988.’

His Own Boss? Chooses what he wants to do. £10,000 per 2 hour performance. Runs Perfecto Records. Grace and Man With No Name on his books.

Who Have You Toured With? Oakenfold has shared Hilton Hotels and dodgy catering with U2, Happy Mondays, Bjork and Grace Jones.

Resident Of? Oakenfold headlined Saturday night at Cream until earlier this year, before starting up his own super club.

Super-club Owner: Has just opened Home in Leicester Square, London. Seven floors, restaurant and VVVIP Lounge for Denise Van Outen and Jay Kay. Remix King: U2’s Even Better Than The Real Thing and Massive Attack’s Unfinished Sympathy are among his credits.

Glastonbury: First DJ to headline on Main Stage alongside Van Morrison and Peter Gabriel.

Ibiza: After dodging the transvestites in San Antonio town, Oakenfold can be found headlining Manumission every summer.

Weekend motto: ‘Leave your attitude at the door and go and just have a great time, get on the journey, and just have a top night.’

Ryan Sabey

PAUL OAKENFOLD is without doubt one of the most influential and important people in dance music in the UK.

ple’s music tastes are now more varied than ever before is wholeheartedly agreed with by Oakenfold: “Kids today are into all sorts of music. It’s the same with me - I really like Nirvana and The From his early days as a British DJ Beatles, and although I wouldn’t play in New York helping to introduce hiptheir songs in my sets for obvious reahop to these shores, to his famous Ibiza sons it doesn’t stop me from enjoying birthday party in 1988 that led to the the music.” explosion in all things Balearic, This eclecticism is unsurprising comOakenfold has been at the forefront of ing from the man who discovered The dance music for two decades.

Happy Mondays, and who has toured However, he is perhaps best with U2 and remixed The Rolling known in the UK for his involvement Stones. But it is as a DJ that Oakenfold in the phenomenal success of trance is now best known - one of the highest music at both club and chart levels – a earners in an immensely profitable busisuccess spearheaded by his residency ness. at Liverpool’s Cream, his record label Last New Year’s Eve, he was reputed Perfecto and, most recently, the opento have been the highest earning DJ on ing of seven-storey superclub Home in the planet, flying between London and Leicester Square, where he is resident Liverpool (“It wasn’t as glamorous as it on Saturday nights. sounds”, he insists) but his plans this This incredible track record would year are perhaps not as hectic: “For me, hardly seem to lead logically to the far it’s not about the money. smaller scale tour of student venues in I could have played in five different ‘superclub-free’ towns such as Hull, places this year and I was offered that, Leicester and Norwich that the stars of but that’s not for me. I’m doing Cream, the Perfecto label have recently underand I’m going to be with all my mates in taken. It was in the unlikely setting of Home at midnight. The New Year is “Students have always been a very important the University of Bradford that I met about something more than just money.” part of the audience I DJ to” Oakenfold near the end of the tour, just He’s also playing at the Gatecrasher before an enthusiastically received event in Sheffield. always get to see a big name DJ every week.” hour-and-a-half DJ set kicked off.

What’s for sure is that whether he’s remix It seems that so far the tour has been going So what was the inspiration behind the tour? ing, DJ-ing, producing or writing, we’ve not “Students have always been a very important down well all over the country – which doesn’t heard the end of Oakenfold. He may even do fit in with the stereotypical image of the average part of the audience I DJ to – when I was at another University tour – Oakey at Club Cream, and now at Home as well. This tour was student as being uninterested in dance culture.

Derwent? It’s a possibility...

Last year in Britain more turntables were a way of giving something back to that audience, to the people in smaller cities who can’t sold than guitars, and the idea that young peo-

Watching the Sunset Hugh Ferris jumps up and down to Jools Holland with a group of housewives - and enjoys it!

NOBODY THOUGHT Blackburn Rovers would win the Premier League with an unrehearsed team of expensive individuals bought with Jack Walker’s millions. They did. With a similar collection of outstanding players Jools Holland has, against all odds, succeeded in creating a well-oiled, if self-indulgent gigging machine.

Granted, the backbone of the team is unchanged for nearly ten years, and Jools and the exceptional Gilson Lavin apart, you could tell. They didn’t move, the trumpeter wondering how Leo Green can pretend that he’s playing for Bill Haley every night, and still get the women.

But that does not detract from an unrelenting performance of the very best, if repetitive, boogie and blues tunes. Sporting numbers from his new album Sunset Over London, the band members produced an all rounded performance, highlighted by a blistering rendition of the Dangerman theme.

The beauty of the performance was in the individuality of the band. When he wasn’t ‘tripping’ over non-existent cable or shaking maracas in some bizarre, unrelated tempo, The

Things are looking up for Jools Specials’ trombonist Rico Rodriguez contributed his own inimitable ska version of The Way You Look Tonight. Definately a highlight of the band, Jools’ brother Christopher made one of his less than regular appearances on this, the most slippery of floors.

You expect such a high standard from Jools,

York Student Vision

he goes relatively unnoticed. Engulfed with the presence of at least a thousand bleach-blonde 40-somethings worshipping his every move, singing when he said sing, dancing when he said dance (without the need for a threatening pistol pointed at their feet), Jools’ stunning playing and sense of continuity are par for this course.

His professionalism put together a great show whilst letting the lesser-known players abilities shine through.

Gilson Lavin, original drummer in Jools’ Squeeze, deserved his very own encore – a solo of amazing technical dexterity, including a section where he played both sides of his 5 cymbals in lightening succession. Such was the physical exertion there were wet patches everywhere – presumably sweat.

Sam Brown reminded us of her excellent voice, the guitarist reminded us of his awful voice, and Chris Holland showed us that he had a better voice than his brother, as well as playing organ and piano like a proverbial dream, climaxing in a duet at the same piano with Jools.

No doubt with several backstage Dr. Peppers inside them, some bands come, some bands go, but Jools Holland and his Rhythm and Blues Orchestra just keep on coming.

WIN

New Counting Crows single & album Tickets to Blow Up Xmas Party Plus Santas Magic Bag Ed: Why do you deserve the Blow Up tickets more than me?

Answer: Send to vision@york.ac.uk Closing date: Friday 10th December (Wk 8)

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

24 MUSIC York Student Vision

Nothing Lost

NAPALM DEATH @ FIBBERS 12TH NOVEMBER 1999 YORK DOES not see many big bands so for any serious rockers this was an eagerly awaited event and they were not to be disappointed.

Never averse to a spot of moshing and

Foo Fighters @ Manchester Academy 24th November 1999 STANDING WAITING for the 2nd of the three Foo Fighters U.K. dates, not only is the Academy heaving but there is almost no other girl in sight. Am I getting too old for this?

The entrance of Dave Grohl in his woolly hat dispels all fears - there is really ‘nothing left to loose’! He smiles, reveals his stunningly long side burns and launches straight into the first track on the new album ‘Stacked Actors’.

The intensity of emotion and enjoyment provoked by this is immense and even more incredibly this level is sustained throughout the whole set.

The crowd are completely at the bands mercy one minute swaying to a powerful ballad such as Everlong, the next frantically bouncing out their anger to the fantastic rock of Breakout.

In the middle of their melodious evoking rendition of Ain’t it the Life Grohl actually asks the crowd to ‘stop beatin’ the crap out of each other’ and feel what he is singing about.

However this is contrastingly followed by his charismatic tales of being a great lover who likes it fast and weird, which brings him into Monkey Wrench.

Nothing is more rewarding than seeing a band who are so blatantly enjoying being up on the stage. The fact that they were able to record their new album in Dave Grohl’s house without the pressure of record producers or time constrictions is clear.

Their passion for what they have produced

In the middle of their melodious evoking rendition of Ain’t It The Life, Grohl actually asks the crowd to “stop beatin’ the crap out of each other” and feel what he is singing about. is conveyed not just by the energy of the music but by the way they communicate with each other through cheeky grins. It was unbelievable how many songs they managed to pack in and how neither them nor the audience ever seemed to tire. Before announcing I’ll Stick Around as their last song Grohl apologised that he was not cut out to be a front man! His remarkable unpretentiousness for such a talented diverse performer made the concert even more special.

The encore included a Queen song to mark the anniversary of Freddie Mercury’s death and they exited with This Is A Call’. Corny though

it is, it has to be said - they rocked! They gave genuine passion, purged by grinding guitar riffs- they are undoubtedly some of the most genuine musicians of the decade.

Kate Wallis

playing air-guitar, I grabbed a ticket, put on my blackest clothes, and attended.

Fibbers was packed out as X-Seed, the only support band, came on and played a spirited set, with song lyrics somewhat reminiscent of the great Rage Against the Machine. Unfortunately their on-stage energy was matched by a completely unwarranted indifference by the crowd, who stood well back and clapped politely.

Napalm Death are currently on a bit of a whirlwind international tour to promote their new EP, Leaders Not Followers, which is a selection of covers of classic hardcore/thrash/ death metal tunes.

As the name of the band suggests these guys don’t play the sort of songs your gran can sing along to. In fact they could be described as various grunts and screams to the tune of a major motorway pileup. This was looking promising!

I came out knowing that this had been a great gig, and I hadn’t had this much fun in a longtime.

Tim Booth

Aren’t they Dead yet?

Tom Lerner interviews rock’s finest flautist about a lifetime in the great rock ‘n’ roll circus Jethro Tull are a band born out of the sixties, one of the precursors of rock music as it is known today. They have toured with the likes of the Rolling Stones and Jimi Hendrix, and still have a cult following on both sides of the Atlantic today.

They were huge, although admittedly before most of us were born. Before the interview I was expecting to meet a manic, hirsute man in tights and a codpiece (preferably stood on one leg playing the flute). Instead I find Ian Anderson to be a softly spoken, tidy man, quite different from his stage persona.

Where do you find the inspirations, after thirty years of writing music, to write new material?

The same things that made me want to write when I was 17. If I could be bothered I would probably be an artist, but I’m too impatient to paint. I don’t have a naturally great singing voice so I decided to write songs that I could sing.

Who was the first band/singer you saw?

The first gig I went to was Cliff Richard and Adam Faith when I was fourteen, then two years later I saw the Rolling Stones, and that helped me decide that I wanted to play music Do you think it would be more difficult for an eccentric act like yours to come out now?

I don’t really think you can call a group of teenagers eccentric. But yes it is probably more difficult for an act that is not pop to become well known. When we started out all the big bands played at the Marquee club, it was the place to be. Back then there were maybe twenty bands competing for one place, if it were still going now there would probably be two to five hundred.

What was the best time you. have had with Jethro Tull?

Lots of moments stand out, but not necessarily for being good. We were the second band ever, after the Beatles’ last gig, to play Shea Stadium

York Student Vision

Never to old to rock and roll New York.

Halfway through the set we realised why nobody had played it since, it was right next to the Guardia airport. Our set was interrupted several times by circling 747s.

However, standing in the tunnel where all the football teams get ready to go out was a magic moment, with all the people lining up the sides, especially because somebody thought it would be quite amusing to piss on us. Standing out in front of fifty thousand people covered in somebody else’s urine was not the most wonderful way to start a show.

These are the memorable moments though.

The bits that bring you back down to earth.

How, with a back catalogue of more than two hundred songs did you choose your set for tonight?

It has been the best of Jethro Tull since 1969, because after any band releases its second album, it has more songs than it can fit into it’s set. We try to play a selection of songs including some old favourites but invariably some people leave wishing we had played their particular favourite. I once overheard somebody say that he wished we would have played “Stairway to Heaven”.

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

York Student Vision MUSIC 25

News, Views, Reviews Artist: Mouse On Mars Title: Niun Niggung THAT OF the paragraph. If you’ve never heard of be May impression first your MICE on MARS. Before.

Suoiverp something like tHEN.

If you’ve never heard of Mice On Mars before, then your first impression may be something like that of the previous paragraph.

I was in this position when I first listened to Niun Niggung their latest offering and frankly was not sure what to make of it at all.

The first track, Download Sofis, sets the scene with a tranquil piece for strings and guitar... offset with warbling trumpet and synth squelching. The mood continues with tracks that are beautiful, danceable or just plain

Artist: Stone Temple Pilots Title: No. 4 UNFORTUNATE IS the word that springs to mind. This groups continuity has been continually jeopardised

by Scott Weiland’s unstable drug rehabilitation programme - having finally got their act together, 2 weeks before this albums release, Weiland is given a years sentence for narcotic drug offences. Should this make a difference to the albums reception. No. But I have a feeling it will.

Name: Blow-up Artist: Various

EXPLODING ON to the scene in the back room of a London pub in Camden, the legendary Blow-up club celebrated its sixth birthday this November. To co-incide with the

Not mice, not on Mars

good, but which are always offset by something that doesn’t quite fit. Be it an unusual sound, strange break, or over-syncopated rhythm, the discrepancy is always there. Super Sonig Fadeout begins with half a minute of what sounds like equipment being tested (an idea echoed in the unlisted ‘track 13’), whilst Distroia starts with a barage of distorted trum-

The album has some very strong moments - the first track Down instantly reminds us of what was good about the Stone Temple Pilots.

However despite much of it being in the same vein as the striking simplicity of Core, 7 years on, it is inevitable some of the raw energy has been lost.

As the album progresses it gets tireder and more folk type acoustic guitar is introduced. In both Sour Girl and I Got You we witness so much potential but some how the vocal line does not carry it off. His voice is as distinctive and stunning as ever, it is more what he is singing which is questionable. The worry is that Weiland may have trouble trying to make his audience see this from a prison cell.

pet, and drums reminiscent of the Aphex Twin.

After a few playings though it all starts to make some kind of sense. The order shines through the chaos, and the strange brass lines and drum patterns engender a wary familiarity and become the backdrop to what turns out to be a very good album indeed.

But what, or who are Mouse on Mars?

They could be the fresh new future of underground dance, abandoning the sample-andloop ethos for a more organic approach. Or maybe they are the first band based on eighties synth-pop that looks forward rather than backwards. Or perhaps they are the acid-warped love-child of Goldie and Brecht.

In fact, they are two guys from Düsseldorf, but don’t let that put you off. Mouse on Mars are one of the best bits of wierdness I have heard in a long time.

Mark Clements

event, their record label has produced an awesome collection of eclectic funkiness.

It was music like this that pulled the cognicenti of the London scene to the clubs success, ‘don’t worry girls’, says a SKY reviewer, ‘you’re in Blow-up, next year everyone will be doing it’. The album includes tracks such as ‘Blow up a go go’, better known from the GAP advert Khaki a go go, Buddy Rich’s Beat Goes On and a few new numbers well worthy of their fine heritage.

Now in the WAG club in Soho, Blow-up has supported Blur on tour, launched Menswear on its label, and even reached the heady heights of playing at York University under the title of Dysfunktion. There seems no stopping the inflation of Blow-up to even greater heights, and rightly so if this is the quality of music they play and produce.

THE FOURTH and final release from the house of the Parisian Yellow productions is a fine blend of cultures, not a clash.

Moving through Bossa-nova rhythms and

laid back breaks, this collection sounds like DJ Krush remixing Herbie Hancock. No wonder, as the whole movement behind this concept collection is the meeting of East and West, blending the fusion artists from each side as each of these artists did themselves. With artwork from Chicago based Dzine inspired by the album adorning the cover and the enhanced CD the full package is so carefully constructed that the album moves between its diverse styles with ease. If you recognise any of the names mentioned in this article, and like them, then you’ll love this, if not, you probably will anyway.

Steve Haines

Us on Them It seemed obvious, why did Alison Moyet never sing for the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

Battle of The Bands winners Dromedary

Matt Hobby talks about Dromedary’s future WINNING BATTLE of the Bands ’99 was extremely helpful for us. Ever since people have been willing to offer us gigs, which for any relatively new band can be hard to come by. With gigs

On the road to success

it!). Currently we are writing loads of new tunes, our hopes are to record another CD sometime in the new year. The fresh material is continuing to draw on our diverse influences from Funk to Hip Hop, Punk and Metal.

York Student Vision

Odelay’s official sequel, Midnite Vultures is a party album, as advertised: a pulsating succession of R&B, disco and hip-hop that adds up to irresistible, grin-inducing, booty-shaking fun. Beck treats these forms with both the utmost respect and free-flowing irreverence, bringing a playful touch to his falsetto vocals and the funky beats. He gives it a cinematic richness, depth and detail with an array of mutations and surprises, from banjo hoedown to electronic effects.

But after the erotic celebration of the opening Sexx Laws the music takes on an uneasy edge. An underlying scent of sex runs through all of Midnite Vultures – sometimes it’s sweet (Debra), sometimes it gets down and dirty (Mixed Bizness). This is a party where the punch is spiked, where intoxication becomes disorientation as we survey the seductive, menacing landscape of Beck’s imagination: Satin sheets, tropical oils/Turn up the heat/till the swimming pool boils.”

Artist: Various Title: Bossa Tres...Jazz

Kate Willis

Progress Report

coming up in places as far afield as Sheffield we still see York as our gigging centre. We are currently preparing for a slot at Fibbers on Sunday 5th December with Root Joose – a cool band from Devon. This will be followed by an appearance at the BiG Buddha event on Wednesday week 8. We are particularly looking forward to the return of Sevenball to the campus scene; after taking almost a year off after winning BOB ’98. Our CD which was released earlier this term has nearly sold out (cheers to everyone who bought a copy – I hope you like

BECK’S BOOGIE NIGHTS

have produced a slice of their talent to take home. The demo CD recently issued by the band illustrates talented musicians performing a rarity amongst student bands, an enjoyment of their music.

The first track, AGM, begins sloppily but as the razor sharp drums of Jamie crack in a band emerges that obviously know what they’re doing. The powerful voice of Lou complements the whole into a greatly pleasurable listening experience, very quickly setting Dromedary aside from what you were expecting.

The promise of much more to come from this relatively new band is worth following.

SH

And if those electro-tweaked voices and Dr.Seuss rhymes (“Her left eye is lazy/ Nicotine and Gravy/Miracles amaze me/She looks Israeli”) feel like too much fun, that’s just the point. Like Odelay, Midnite Vultures comes on stronger the more you listen to it: one track after another leaps out at you until you’ve got 11 new favourite songs.

Beck has essentially fashioned what might be the best Prince album in ages – the soundtrack that bridges the gap between The Artist’s New Power Generation and the Power Ranger Generation. Forget partying like it’s 1999, this Dec 31st, the coolest parties will be soaking in Peaches and Cream; Milk and Honey; and Nicotine and Gravy.

Singles

Apollo Four Fourty’s latest offering continues in their own distinctive style. Start by evoking a children’s tv theme tune, add ‘tiddly bop boom’ lyrics, a rock riff, a fantastic beat and a gun shot sound effect and you get the idea! Sound’s crazy but it really works! Much more downbeat the Fridge Of EP has been confusing the Vision office this month, mainly because we can’t work out the title. Very ambient and relaxed, the only puzzle is how the different mixes manage to sound entirely different.

Heavyweight Champion put up a dissapointing fight for success, however. The intro rips off Feeder, the cover rips off Poison – admittedly they can play and sing, but with nothing new to offer, does that really matter?

Plenty from Perfecto and Fourty Eight K right now.

Driving bass beats and sexy vocals a plenty. Hightlights include Skip Raiders and D-influence. The Stereophonics Hurry up and Wait develops in their same successful vein. The song never really gets going, but I suppose that’s how it got its name- very clever. Pick of the bunch definitely goes to the Longpigs’ The Frank Sonata.

Somehow capturing that mood of music you’re always looking for, with excellent B-sides as a supporting cast this is an EP on its own.

Kate Wallis/Steve Haines

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

26 SPORT York Student Vision

SPORT In Brief

14th Nov - The Tae Kwon-Do Club competed in the York Championships at the Barbican Leisure Centre. Honours went to: M Ranft - 1st place (men’s patterns yellow/green belt) C Mercer - 1st place (women’s patterns yellow/ green belt) R Pickford - 1st place (women’s sparring yellow/ green belt) 20th Nov - The Rugby Club raised over £200 for Leukaemia Research as a result of their charity fun-run. The quickest finisher completed the six-anda-half mile course in 41 minutes while former Vision News Editor Helen Limbrick chose to compete by car.

Event Organiser John Morgan said: “Thanks to everyone who took part”.

21-22nd Nov - The Jiu Jitsu Club took third place at the Jitsu Foundation Judo Nationals in Birmingham. Individual honours went to: C Sadler - gold (women’s open) C Ashton - double gold (female/light blue to brown belt) P Dodd - gold/silver (male/light blue to brown belt) H-M Ahonen - gold (female/yellow and orange belt) C Radford - bronze (female/green and purple belt) D Schmidt - bronze (female/novice) 23rd Nov - York City Football Club introduce a student discount scheme for their match against Shrewsbury Town.

From now on NUS card holders will gain entrance to matches for £5 as opposed to the standard £8 price. City manager Neil Thompson sees the new scheme as step towards enlarging the club’s fan-base: “We have to make links with the University, schools and outlying areas of York. This is an important part of the process.”

Karate Kids

Fay Thomson reports on the Karate Club’s experiences at the KUGB Student National Championships

THERE WAS a mixture of excitement and fear in the air as the Karate team set off for the annual KUGB Student Nationals in Chesterfield.

These feelings were only added to on seeing the high proportion of black and brown belts amongst the opposition with Universities from all over the country represented, including London, Liverpool, Cambridge and Leeds.

The competition is split into three sections for both men and women.

These are individual Kata, individual Kumite and group Kumite.

Not all team members competed in the individual Kata but those who

Finalist Rita Donner

did showed confidence and skill, Rita Dorner reaching the last sixteen for women.

Next up came the one-on-one fighting – the individual Kumite.

There was a lot of shouting and punching but luckily not much blood

There was a lot of shouting and punching but luckily little blood spilt spilt, although certain members of the men’s team came back with some impressive bruises.

Men’s vice-captain Kieran McCausland reached the last sixteen while Rita Dorner reached the women’s finals, eventually coming third overall despite being anxious about taking part in the first place.

Team Captain Andreas Schaad commented on the day: “We all came back more or less unhurt and I was impressed by the sportsmanship and effort put in, especially by those who had not fought before. Thanks must go to Sensei Rob McCartney who came and supported members of the team through their individual fights.”

The Club have since taken part in a Kata training and tournament event, with all the proceeds going to charity.

York’s Karate competitors

Football with a Latin Flair

In the second in Vision’s series of features on minority sports, Stuart Emmerson tries out Futsal IF YOU fancy yourself as a bit of a footballer and your ambition is to represent your country, then the Futsal Club may be for you.

The sport is played professionally world-wide and originates from

The smaller, heavier ball also induces good technique and improves a player’s ability to strike a ball well.

Remember that free kick by Roberto Carlos? He’s another Futsal player.

Players at the club acknowledge the benefits Futsal has had on their eleven-a-side game. Clearly playing

Coach Dominic Richardson aims “to have a player selected for England as soon as possible” South America. It was originally designed to train and improve the Argentinean national football team and many contemporary footballing legends such as Romario have always played Futsal. There have been four Futsal world cups and unsurprisingly Brazil has won them all.

I arrived at my first Futsal practice to find a friendly and very international group of players. After a

THERE HAD to be a good reason for one hundred and fifty members of the Athletic Union to get dressed up to the nines for a trip to the cinema.

It all came down to the pulling power of James Bond and a special Warner Brothers preview of The World is Not Enough. I have to admit that until a few years ago I had never really seen the attraction of them, but my housemate made it his mission to make me see the light.

So I was as excited as anyone as I waited to hear the outrageous puns, see the stunts and watch the plot unravel. There is something quite strange about sitting in a cinema with so many people in dinner jackets or evening dress, but it certainly added to the atmosphere.

York Student Vision

The end of the film, marked by a classic Bond one-liner, saw the party move on from the cinema to Henry J Bean’s, but the theme was the same as we were greeted by a vodka martini reception courtesy of appropriately-dressed bar staff.

The night came to a close in the champagne lounge at the Gallery. A slight glitch was encountered as people had to remove their bow-ties for fear of being mistaken for bouncers – but this only goes to show what a muscular and masculine bunch the AU must be.

Congratulations must go to Vicky Sugars and John Morgan who won the Henry J Bean’s Best Fancy Dress Award, and a bottle of Tanqueray each into the bargain. Let’s hope the Millennium Ball enjoys equal success…

Futsal won’t transform a “donkey” Adams into a Romario brief warm-up, I was thrust into a midfield position and reminded that over head height is allowed.

On the face of it Futsal is just five-a-side football played with a smaller, heavier ball. However, it does encourage faster passing, tighter ball control and a deliberate style of play.

This style of play revolves around one position called peevo (pivot man), which is essentially the centre forward with his back to goal, constantly making himself available to receive passes.

The midfielder’s aim is to pass to the peevo who then either distributes the ball to the wingers or turns and attacks himself. The pattern of play is simple, clear and effective.

Samba boys Futsal will not transform a “donkey” Adams into a Romario, but rapid improvements will be achieved.

You’ll also be less likely to succumb to those devilish slurs from the sidelines such as “launch it” and “hit row Z”.

York is the only university Futsal Club in the country and they play in the highly competitive first division of the Pendle Futsal League. England selectors also play in this league and club coach Dominic Richardson aims “to have a player selected for England as soon as possible”. The club is consequently looking to attract quality players but anyone is welcome and the first training session is free.

Training takes place in the Sports Centre on Fridays from 11.00-12.30 and Saturdays from 15.00-17.00.

Further information can be found at the Futsal Club website, accessible via the AU homepage.

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

26 SPORT York Student Vision

SPORT In Brief

14th Nov - The Tae Kwon-Do Club competed in the York Championships at the Barbican Leisure Centre. Honours went to: M Ranft - 1st place (men’s patterns yellow/green belt) C Mercer - 1st place (women’s patterns yellow/ green belt) R Pickford - 1st place (women’s sparring yellow/ green belt) 20th Nov - The Rugby Club raised over £200 for Leukaemia Research as a result of their charity fun-run. The quickest finisher completed the six-anda-half mile course in 41 minutes while former Vision News Editor Helen Limbrick chose to compete by car.

Event Organiser John Morgan said: “Thanks to everyone who took part”.

21-22nd Nov - The Jiu Jitsu Club took third place at the Jitsu Foundation Judo Nationals in Birmingham. Individual honours went to: C Sadler - gold (women’s open) C Ashton - double gold (female/light blue to brown belt) P Dodd - gold/silver (male/light blue to brown belt) H-M Ahonen - gold (female/yellow and orange belt) C Radford - bronze (female/green and purple belt) D Schmidt - bronze (female/novice) 23rd Nov - York City Football Club introduce a student discount scheme for their match against Shrewsbury Town.

From now on NUS card holders will gain entrance to matches for £5 as opposed to the standard £8 price. City manager Neil Thompson sees the new scheme as step towards enlarging the club’s fan-base: “We have to make links with the University, schools and outlying areas of York. This is an important part of the process.”

Karate Kids

Fay Thomson reports on the Karate Club’s experiences at the KUGB Student National Championships

THERE WAS a mixture of excitement and fear in the air as the Karate team set off for the annual KUGB Student Nationals in Chesterfield.

These feelings were only added to on seeing the high proportion of black and brown belts amongst the opposition with Universities from all over the country represented, including London, Liverpool, Cambridge and Leeds.

The competition is split into three sections for both men and women.

These are individual Kata, individual Kumite and group Kumite.

Not all team members competed in the individual Kata but those who

Finalist Rita Donner

did showed confidence and skill, Rita Dorner reaching the last sixteen for women.

Next up came the one-on-one fighting – the individual Kumite.

There was a lot of shouting and punching but luckily not much blood

There was a lot of shouting and punching but luckily little blood spilt spilt, although certain members of the men’s team came back with some impressive bruises.

Men’s vice-captain Kieran McCausland reached the last sixteen while Rita Dorner reached the women’s finals, eventually coming third overall despite being anxious about taking part in the first place.

Team Captain Andreas Schaad commented on the day: “We all came back more or less unhurt and I was impressed by the sportsmanship and effort put in, especially by those who had not fought before. Thanks must go to Sensei Rob McCartney who came and supported members of the team through their individual fights.”

The Club have since taken part in a Kata training and tournament event, with all the proceeds going to charity.

York’s Karate competitors

Football with a Latin Flair

In the second in Vision’s series of features on minority sports, Stuart Emmerson tries out Futsal IF YOU fancy yourself as a bit of a footballer and your ambition is to represent your country, then the Futsal Club may be for you.

The sport is played professionally world-wide and originates from

The smaller, heavier ball also induces good technique and improves a player’s ability to strike a ball well.

Remember that free kick by Roberto Carlos? He’s another Futsal player.

Players at the club acknowledge the benefits Futsal has had on their eleven-a-side game. Clearly playing

Coach Dominic Richardson aims “to have a player selected for England as soon as possible” South America. It was originally designed to train and improve the Argentinean national football team and many contemporary footballing legends such as Romario have always played Futsal. There have been four Futsal world cups and unsurprisingly Brazil has won them all.

I arrived at my first Futsal practice to find a friendly and very international group of players. After a

THERE HAD to be a good reason for one hundred and fifty members of the Athletic Union to get dressed up to the nines for a trip to the cinema.

It all came down to the pulling power of James Bond and a special Warner Brothers preview of The World is Not Enough. I have to admit that until a few years ago I had never really seen the attraction of them, but my housemate made it his mission to make me see the light.

So I was as excited as anyone as I waited to hear the outrageous puns, see the stunts and watch the plot unravel. There is something quite strange about sitting in a cinema with so many people in dinner jackets or evening dress, but it certainly added to the atmosphere.

York Student Vision

The end of the film, marked by a classic Bond one-liner, saw the party move on from the cinema to Henry J Bean’s, but the theme was the same as we were greeted by a vodka martini reception courtesy of appropriately-dressed bar staff.

The night came to a close in the champagne lounge at the Gallery. A slight glitch was encountered as people had to remove their bow-ties for fear of being mistaken for bouncers – but this only goes to show what a muscular and masculine bunch the AU must be.

Congratulations must go to Vicky Sugars and John Morgan who won the Henry J Bean’s Best Fancy Dress Award, and a bottle of Tanqueray each into the bargain. Let’s hope the Millennium Ball enjoys equal success…

Futsal won’t transform a “donkey” Adams into a Romario brief warm-up, I was thrust into a midfield position and reminded that over head height is allowed.

On the face of it Futsal is just five-a-side football played with a smaller, heavier ball. However, it does encourage faster passing, tighter ball control and a deliberate style of play.

This style of play revolves around one position called peevo (pivot man), which is essentially the centre forward with his back to goal, constantly making himself available to receive passes.

The midfielder’s aim is to pass to the peevo who then either distributes the ball to the wingers or turns and attacks himself. The pattern of play is simple, clear and effective.

Samba boys Futsal will not transform a “donkey” Adams into a Romario, but rapid improvements will be achieved.

You’ll also be less likely to succumb to those devilish slurs from the sidelines such as “launch it” and “hit row Z”.

York is the only university Futsal Club in the country and they play in the highly competitive first division of the Pendle Futsal League. England selectors also play in this league and club coach Dominic Richardson aims “to have a player selected for England as soon as possible”. The club is consequently looking to attract quality players but anyone is welcome and the first training session is free.

Training takes place in the Sports Centre on Fridays from 11.00-12.30 and Saturdays from 15.00-17.00.

Further information can be found at the Futsal Club website, accessible via the AU homepage.

4th December, 1999 Issue 115

Vision

Sport

Ikon & Diva

the home of Cheese and Crackers Bus Times and Enquiries

(01904) 693999

Facilities Farce

Tim Burroughs takes a look at the University’s comparatively poor showing in terms of sports facilities. And what isn’t being done to rectify the situation.

SPORT IS being left to trail in the race for facility investment as the University struggles to cope with increasing student numbers.

Recent improvements have been minimal, an Astroturf pitch and the imminent re-opening of 17 Acres the only additions, while two squash courts and the two rugby pitches behind Alcuin College have been lost.

The upcoming pavilion courtesy of CGU, beneficial as it may be, will see the demise of the Paddock field, and consequently a further reduction in training areas.

Athletic Union President Ben Harding said of the situation: “If you look at the sports facilities compared to those of our academic competitors, York is clearly trailing.

“We need the quality of our facilities to catch up with the quality of our teams.”

The University is not keeping pace with the investment levels of its rivals, the likes of Durham, Bristol, Warwick, Lancaster, Nottingham and Leeds all boasting a wider range of facilities.

Of the ten universities in immediate competition to York, only Bristol and ourselves neglect to mention sport in our profiles for prospective students.

But even Bristol are in

the process of large-scale “We prepared a sports mittee with the brief of development. funding bid to go with the blanketing companies with a University of Bristol AU University’s small amount professionally thought-out President Andy Butterworth of capital available but the proposal. told Vision : “We have had a bid failed. That doesn’t But Glen Dewsbury is £3m investment into a sec- mean to say we won’t be adamant that the University ond Astroturf, improveis committed to finding ments to drainage on the “You have very poor the funds: “Can I say that first team rugby pitch and facilities in a very poor within five years we’ll comprehensive redevelopbuild an extension to the sports centre.” ment of our main pavilion. sports hall? No I can’t, In addition to this, there J Crouch, Lancaster AU because we don’t know is a three-way project with whether we’ve got the other bodies to build an trying to identify alternative money or not. But we’ll cerindoor tennis centre and we sources of funding.” tainly be trying to identify now have the momentum to Of these potential sourc- it.” construct a new £4.5m es, a partnership seems to be indoor facility.” the most likely. The Our Roses opponents are University of Bristol’s sucin a similar situation to us cess in attracting investment with no investment in their from industry has seen them sports centre since 1981. benefit considerably while But Lancaster AU President Edinburgh’s merger with a “It is a farce - the University has its head in the James Crouch was quick to local PE College has also sand. It must reorientate its economic focus onto point out their superior seen development. the diverse, multifarious needs of its residents indoor equipment: “You Edinburgh University if it does not, York runs the risk of falling even have very poor facilities in a Sports Union President very poor centre.”

Richard Davies said: “£3m further behind its sporting competitors.”

Michael White Improvements do not has been spent on two new Tennis Club Captain Astroturf pitches and an extension to the club house In the next five years which will be shared with “The lack of training pitches and floodlights, the University will the Scottish Hockey Union and having to share pitches with five other teams who are contributing a means we suffer as a club. They need to get the invest £70m into £1.5m lottery grant. facilities. The “Further investment will basics right.”

Tim Cooper amount of this going be put towards a swimming Rugby Club President new sports hall and towards sport is zero. pool, various gyms.”

But Ben Harding is “You don’t come to York to do sport and when seem to be forthcoming, not optimistic of the you do get here you’re disappointed. Our boat though. In the next five University’s ability to do house is designed for 35 people but it is used by years the University will this: “Plans for supposed invest £70m into facilities. facilities have been plentiful over 100 every week.”

Rufus Southwood The amount of this going but the reality of the situaBoat Club Secretary towards sport is zero. tion is that the only recent Facilities L i a i s o n improvement has been the Manager Glen Dewsbury Astroturf pitch - and the “As a minor sport its difficult to get access to said: “The issue is not if we majority of the money came pitches, especially as most are not floodlit.” want to upgrade the facili- from Greg Dyke.”

Anonymous Source ties but how.

As a result the AU has formed a sponsorship com-

Tae Kwon-do’s Claire Mercer: limited facilities

York Student Vision

What the players say...

What it could be: Leeds’ state-of-the-art gym facilities

12th December, 1999 Issue 115