Issue 118

Vision

York Student

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DEAD END

ALCUIN STUDENTS and staff have expressed their fears for the future after the unveiling of a radical plan for the destruction of the infamous Alcuin bar and the College dining hall.

With plans for an American style café/

bar, a conservatory, a new launderette, JCR, Graduate Common Room and Senior Common Room, Alcuin looks set to take on a very different image.

Geoff Streeve, Vice-Chair of the JCR said, “We would like it to be a bit more homely, at the moment it looks a bit sterile.” However, the project development team have been working closely with the college community to determine what they want from the design process.

Glen Dewsbury, Facilities Management Liaison Officer explained, “We have held a series of meetings comprising of the college secretary, the college bursar, the college office, members of the Junior Common Room Committee and the GCR to get some idea of what the design should be. It seems fair to say that most of the main drives of the design came from that forum. The café bar idea and an airy, light, bright feel was what was wanted, a modern look that wouldn’t become dated.

“I firmly believe from what I know and my instincts that the college community want to see updated facilities. What

the update looks like is probably a matter for a wide range of debates…We have tried to reach a compromise and what we’ve got is a workable design that addresses the design forum’s issues.”

The first part of the project is set to start in the next week and is aimed to finish in June. The entire contract, including a new department of Health Studies, funded by the NHS, and an extension to the JB

Alcuin’s mascot may be doomed to destruction. Anyone care a dime?

Morrell Library, is due to be finished by October 2001.

Eric Hanner, Strategic Projects Manager, stressed that they would do everything they could to minimalise disruption to students: “The construction zones are away from the operational areas of the University. We have engineered the construction logistics to suit that. We will carry on with the consultation meetings

and maintain communication throughout the construction. No doubt we will cause some disturbance but we will consult the students in deciding what measures to take to overcome that.”

However, the new developments have not pleased everyone. Alcuin’s Bar Rep explained that the bar and kitchen staff of the college are worried that their jobs are in jeopardy after the treatment of Derwent

bar staff at the beginning of last academic year.

When Derwent was re-vamped, many of the staff there were forced to re-apply for their jobs. Several were then dismissed and told, “You won’t fit in.”

The Alcuin Bar Rep explained, “The University want to make the best bar possible but they are messing with people’s lives. The staff don’t know if they have their job from one week to the next and you can see that they aren’t happy with the situation.

“As a JCR we want to do as much as we can for them but it is hard for us to put anything in motion as the plans keep changing so rapidly and the dates are pushed back more and more.

“It isn’t really fair on them or us as a college that things keep changing so much. I’m not saying they are intentionally misleading us but we don’t really know what is going on.”

He also explained that the JCR are concerned after seeing plans for the new bar that it “won’t consider people’s jobs and they will lose a lot of the existing staff.”

Glen Dewsbury was quick to point out, “As far as I’m concerned and as far as anyone really knows, there will be no redundancies.”

Helen Limbrick

SLAVE LABOUR FOR STUDENTS THE GOVERNMENT is being called upon to launch a public inquiry into the company running student loans after it emerged that the firm uses cheap labour in India to process student applications.

The Student Loans Company (SLC), an executive arm of the Department for Education and Employment (DFEE), subcontracts data processing to Calcutta and Trivandrum in India and Colombo in Sri Lanka.

Hand-written applications from UK students are sent from the company’s Glasgow headquarters to Asia to be entered on computer and returned.

This procedure has brought strong criticism from student leaders and MPs throughout the country. Relations between the NUS and the SLC are already sour due

to the thousands of students that received loan cheques late last term. The NUS has demanded a full public inquiry “on behalf of students, parents and the public.”

NUS president Andrew Pakes said: “If students get their money on time, I am not concerned about the service they receive.

“When students do not get their cheques they have nowhere else to turn.”

Andrew Pakes, NUS President

“But if the SLC is sending forms to the other side of the world just to cut costs then I am worried, because when students do not get their cheques they have nowhere else to turn.”

Gordon Marsden, MP for Blackpool

South, said: “This is quite disturbing. This seems a pretty poor ethical policy, particularly for an outfit like this dealing with major groups of people.

“It also raises questions of efficiency.

We may be in an age of global technology, but trying to rectify problems in India is much more difficult than in Basildon or the Highlands.”

Pete Campion-Smith, York’s SU Welfare officer, told Vision, “The SLC has never functioned properly, they have consistently failed to represent the interests of students.”

The SLC, a non-profit organisation wholly owned by the government, strongly defended its actions, saying that Hays Document Management had won the £1m contract last May. SLC Chief Executive, Colin Ward, said: “Data processing is a seasonal activity and it would not be cost-effective to do

it in Glasgow - the volume is massive and it happens in a fairly limited period.

“Our contract is with Hays and it really is for them to decide where they do the processing. We just provide them with the documents and set some standards. We don’t expect to get deeply involved in the

“The SLC have never functioned properly, they have consistently failed to represent the interests of students.”

Pete Campion-Smith, Welfare officer

process.”

The SLC claimed it had no information regarding the payment given to workers in India for data inputting, though the

company’s operations director has visited all three sites and approved working conditions.

Mr Ward added: “I am not saying they [Indian workers] would be earning the same as somebody in the UK, but probably in comparative terms with their cost of living they would be having a reasonable wage.”

The NUS also raised fears recently over the security of data that is sent electronically. They have claimed that the computer transfers could be in breach of the Data Protection Act: “Students are sending application forms including highly confidential information about financial circumstances, plus names and addresses.”

These fears were dismissed by the SLC who said that data was encrypted at a highly secure level.

No-one from Hays Document

Ben Hulme-Cross

Out Saturday - Election Special York Student Vision

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

2 NEWS York Student Vision

FRIERE FINALLY FOUND & FIRED

A MAN SUSPECTED of harassing students and loitering around campus has finally been found and made to leave his job in York.

Although no legal charges have been brought against the man, it is expected that he has left the area.

As reported in issue 116 of Vision,

“He was trying so hard to impress that he began exaggerating. It was then I became truly suspicious.”

Anonymous History Graduate

Ferdinand Friere had been wanted by the Police. The University’s security had put out posters around campus making sure students would be aware of the danger he posed.

The man has allegedly been sacked from his job at Northern Electric after a University of York history graduate

phoned security to say that he’d spoken to the man in Varsity, the new bar venue in the city.

It later emerged that four other calls had been made over that weekend about the same incident. The graduate became suspicious when the conversation simply didn’t add up. “He told me that he was doing a PhD but at the same time he was working at a local factory 35 hours a week.”

The accused man then went on to say that he had a girlfriend in Derwent and that his father was an ambassador. The graduate, currently living in the Bishopthorpe area of York, then went on to say: “He was trying so hard to impress that he began exaggerating. It was then I became truly suspicious.”

The recruitment agency, who employed him, had substantial evidence to prove that he’d lied about personal details on his CV, and claim they were within their rights to dismiss him from the job and agency.

Ryan Sabey

Vision York Student

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Wesley Johnson, Claire New Ryan Sabey, Gareth Walker Post Open Ben Hulme-Cross Tom Smithard Danny Goldup Post Open Ann Smith Victoria Cole-Jones, Barbara Stainer Alex Watson Mary Hathway Vicky Kennedy Sarah Mort Philip Diamond Post Open Tom Nall Kate Wallis Tim Burroughs Paul Wrigglesworth Hanna-Mari Ahonen Post Open Samuel Johnson Helen Dempsey Jonathan Carr David Purnell Andrew Gee

Opinions expressed in Vision are not necessarily those of the Editor, Senior Editorial Team, membership or advertisers. Every effort is made to ensure all articles are as factually correct as possible at the time of going to press, given the information available.

Special Thanks & Apologies

Vision would like to say thank you to Westcountry Publications Ltd, Kieran McIntyre, Lisa Forrest, and Zik Zak. We would like to point out that York’s University Challenge team has not yet qualified for the competition, and have only been selected as York’s representatives. The Vision AGM is this Monday at 7.30pm in Derwent Room 130. All members are welcome to stand for any position or just come along to have your say!

Grimston House, Room V/X/009, University of York, Heslington, York, YO10 5DD. Tel/Fax: 01904 43 3720 Email: vision@york.ac.uk Website: http://www.yorkvision.co.uk Copyright Vision Newspapers, 2000.

York Student Vision

VOTE TODAY This year’s presidential candidates give their vision for the future

Brendon Fletcher A SUCCESSFUL UNION is one which recognises the diversity of its roles.

Through my involvement with NUS I have seen Unions that do not achieve this - resulting in a great range of bacon sandwiches in SU cafes but terrible welfare and support networks. My experience as the SU LGB officer since 1998 has given me the capability to balance these needs and ensure we get it right.

My fundamental belief is of ensuring equality - in seeing that every single student gets the same University experience. For this basic reason I believe in free education, in consistency for University accommodation, food and rents, in defending democracy and giving everyone a say in their Union.

I am experienced, focussed, certainly vocal and am clear in the fundamental foundations and needs of a Students’ Union. By presenting a positive image of the Union we can improve involvement, defend democracy and in turn begin to improve what the Union can offer.

Rob Hills

Stewart Horne

THE STUDENTS UNION presidency is about developing the Union and ensuring that it runs effectively and delivers tangible results.

I strongly support current campaigns: a student-run bar and venue, free Wednesday afternoons, campus security, free education, better provision for nursing students and improved facilities for the AU, James College and Halifax Court. I also want to implement new ideas in the Union including introducing a low cost scheme of computer loans, student to student mentoring between years in academic departments and actively pursuing solutions to student hardship to name just a few.

My wide experience within the Union, the University and NUS means I will be able to hit the ground running and work effectively from day one. I feel I can do a lot to remedy the problems that students at York face day-to-day.

Please read some of my publicity to find out more.

I BELIEVE in a Students Union that works for the real needs of students - and in which students feel that they can trust their Union to act effectively on their behalf. That’s the reason that I want to address the real needs of students at York University.

There are many serious issues at present which effect all of us here. The accommodation is a mess, the facilities here are at best limited and there is no central venue.... you know the score - but it doesn’t have to be this way.

I envisage a Union which demands better facilities - A student run Bar and Venue and decent facilities in all colleges including 24hr portering. A Union which campaigns against student hardship - be it tuition fees, poor quality canteens or unfair rent rises. A Union which works for students though democracy, its affiliates in the JCR’s, AU etc, and gets the most from NUS. I am driven to bring all this to the students of York - and if you elect me I

ELECTION INFO Other Sabbatical positions and all the candidates Services Officer: Bruno Araujo David Ashford William Gibson Linus Koenig Greg Paterson Tom Ryan

Gareth Knight SINCE BEING at this University, I have constantly heard students saying, “The SU does nothing for us.” If elected SU President, I would use this attitude as the basis for how I can and will change the SU for the better.

On the budget, I would ensure £2000 more for JCRCs (preferably establishing a JCR equipment budget), £2000 more for the AU, £2000 more for the media, £2000 more for societies and £1000 each for childcare, training and development and liberation.

I would achieve this through sponsorship, through making savings (such as taking a firm line with NUS and getting a reduced affiliation fee) and working to establish a late night food outlet on campus, in addition to other savings and promoting money-raising ideas.

I will promote campaigns that REALLY matter to students such as the Campus Fayre monopoly, making sure there is a cash alternative to Mondex, and not running around trying to start revolutions and left-wing uprisings.

Education & Welfare Officer: Ali Evans Helen Carpenter Jon Rowing Lizzie Tate Community Action Officer: Bob Holt Victoria Swaile Rag President: Sophie Jewett Carole Bruckler Athletics Union President: Si Preston Owen Rodd

VOTE IN YOUR JCR ON THURSDAY: 11:00 - 18:30 FRIDAY: 11:00 - 14:00 DON’T FORGET OUR ELECTION SPECIAL!

OUT SATURDAY MORNING

Ben Youdan I AM an independent candidate with a JCR orientated background. I have been on Derwent JCRC for two years, most recently as Chairperson. I am passionate about the SU’s role as a campaigning body for students nationally, campus wide, college and individual support.

Issues including Campus safety, 24hr portering, facilities outside term time, a student-run central venue, more representation on University committees and many others are vital and I feel strongly about them.

I believe their should be equality in all aspects of student life including representation. The SU should be more proactive in meeting students and listening to JCR’s, societies and individuals.

By coming out of the office and bringing the SU to students in all areas of campus life the Union can become more representative and give a fairer voice.

Students should know how to get the most out of the SU and make it work for them, and the SU should listen and encourage them to do this.

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

York Student Vision NEWS 3

GOOD TO TALK?

A MOTION was submitted to the week 8 UGM requesting a nonpayment campaign against ACC Telecom. This results from problems students are having with the company that administers the University’s telephones, with bills from as far back as November only arriving recently.

Bruno Araujo, Halifax Court JCRC Chair, is leading the campaign against ACC Telecom. He stated: “Halifax Court and James students are the ones that suffer most from ACC Telecom as they are the ones with the phones in their rooms. They have been mistreated by ACC Telecom and the problems with the bills is the last straw.”

There have been other problems with ACC Telecom previously and a motion was submitted to a UGM last November.

That noted the problems students were having: difficulties in obtaining technical support; misleading advertising that favourably compared ACC’s prices to those of BT; and that some students were having to wait half a term to have problems with their phones fixed. The motion was passed allowing the SU to campaign for improved service and lower call tariffs.

Aidhean Campbell, Deputy President Services of the SU, told Vision that he believed that “ACC should be making discounts to those students not billed for three months. It is unacceptable that students should have to pay in full. As ACC failed the students they should give those students a discount.”

He added, “If the University’s contract with ACC was to end tomorrow, we would look for a different supplier. ACC are in a position to address our complaints and change their policy. As it is the service is not good and they don’t understand the student market.”

One James College student said: “I’ve spent all my money I had saved for my phone bill in November. This is an unnecessary inconvenience that I for one could do without.” Another added: “They claim

The honorary guest is reported to have made inappropriate and insensitive comments to several international students. Linus Koenig, President of the OSA told Vision: “Some of his comments were highlighted to me after the event. When speaking to a German student, on finding out that he was from Aachen, the sheriff made reference to him ‘bombing there in the Second World War.’ In speaking to a Bosnian student, he made general remarks about the ‘naturally more aggressive nature of Bosnian Nationals.’

Nick Wharton, York Civic Secretary, speaking on behalf of the Sheriff said: “He was deeply offended and feels completely misrepresented. He was simply trying to describe an area in Germany where he had once resided. The student seemed not to understand and so he mentioned two large dams that had been damaged through the war.”

Linus Koenig said: “Fiesta is the highlight of International Week which

THE STUDENTS Union has been encouraged to re-evaluate their policy towards military advertising on campus after the lifting of the ban against homosexuals.

A motion has been submitted by Brendon Fletcher, the YUSU LGB officer to a UGM, suggesting a an amendment of SU policy. He told Vision: “Rather than an open invitation back for the military the motion lays down a set of strict criteria for all external organisations requesting to use the union in some way.”

In 1998 a motion to oppose military presence and advertisements on campus was passed at the November UGM. The tightening of criteria suggested by this motion is not only for the benefit of LGB students. “Such a policy would not only reassure minority groups on campus that their Union supports them but makes clear that YUSU has every right to expect external organisations to behave in a fair and appropriate manner.”

The issue highlighted a prominent divide between YUSU and University

policy which ignored student protests against military presence and advertising.

In the future though it is hoped that relations will involve closer communications between the two parties. The University has recognised the need to provide external organisations with clearly stated harassment and equal opportunities policies by which they must abide.

Helen Woolnough, SU President, told Vision: “We are relatively pleased with the way the University reacted and the policy form given to those coming on to campus is a real step forward.”

A spokesperson of the University Press and PR office commented: “It was agreed that a summary of the University’s equal opportunity and harassment policies be set in leaflet form and made available all prospective advertisers. Only where considered appropriate would the leaflet actually be sent to the organisation.”

However, she was reluctant to comment on whether the University would be consistent with their policy and endorse the presence of such organisations as the BNP or National Front.

Claire New

LIBRARY CAMPAIGN

An irate student - three hours on hold to ACC (and counting) to be value for money but they’re not at all. Even mobiles are more student friendly than ACC.” In response, Anne Thompson, University Liaison Officer with ACC Telecom stated to Vision: “We know we have a problem, but we’re in the process of dealing with it. I came to York twice last month and I’m coming again soon.

The students can be commended for their honesty but I don’t think a non-payment campaign is the answer.” She urges all students to speak to her next time she is in York, and plans on meeting with the SU to sort out any problems.

SHERIFF CRASHES OSA CELEBRATION THE OVERSEAS Student Association (OSA) have sent a letter of complaint to the Sheriff of York after his attendance at their annual Fiesta.

SU TO REVERSE LGB POLICY ON MILITARY

raises awareness of important issues, such as cultural integration and diversity. At an event such as this, such comments are particularly out of place, undermining the very purpose and function of Fiesta.”

Since the initial letter was written more students have expressed dissatisfaction to the OSA President about the sheriff’s comments. It is alleged that he said to members of the Luxembourg stall “How is it that a country that barely features on the map, has a stall at Fiesta?”

Nick Wharton was keen to illustrate the Sheriff’s good relations with all nationalities and said: “In December the Sheriff was welcomed to Munster in Germany, and had a very enjoyable evening at the OSA Fiesta.”

Linus Koenig explained, “Before I spoke to Vision I consulted the University Press and PR office and the impression I got was that they were trying to keep the issue under wraps. However I think his reply was completely inappropriate. He seems to be denying any responsibility and ignoring the fact that offence has been caused. The OSA will be forwarding a copy of the complaint to the York Evening Press.”

York Student Vision

Claire New

According to a statement made by ACC, the problem has arisen “Through the introduction of a new billing system by ACC Telecom before the acquisition of ACC Telecom by WorldxChange.”

It continued: “WorldxChange has hired extra experienced customer relations staff to help customers with any queries that they might have.” However, it took Vision three hours to get through to the company, before being put on hold for another forty five minutes.

As Aidhean Campbell said, “It’s not really about the Tom Smithard

A CAMPAIGN has started to improve library facilities. Steve Fearnley, a History Board of Studies Representative, wants to mount a campaign to move text books from their present locations in individual college libraries to the main J.B. Morrell library.

Steve Fearnley explained, “The problem is that the books you want aren’t in the Morrell but are dotted around campus and one cannot always get access to them.”

One of the main problems are the erratic opening hours of the college libraries, which are often only open for 2 or 3 hours a day. Another is that individual colleges only permit their own students to borrow books from their libraries, preventing many from utlising them.

Wayne Connolly, Head of User

Services and Administration at the J.B. Morrell Library, told Vision, “We are very much interested in making the books from college libraries more accessible to all students.”

Steve Fearnley’s proposed solution would be to bring all books into the J.B. Morrell, as happened a couple of years ago with the Alcuin library. However, as Wayne Connolly explained, “Unfortunately our bookshelves are already near to capacity, the numbers of new books we are buying are increasing all the time, and we simply don’t have room to bring any more in currently.”

Discussions are continuing between student representatives on the Library Committee, the University Librarian, Elizabeth Heaps, Facilities Management and the College Provosts in order to improve access to college libraries within the next few months.

Anne Hurst

OUT-RAG-EOUS

Ange Davison - dRAG President RAG WEEK ran its course in a manic schedule of fund-raising frolics for fabulous causes.

TROLLEY DASH: Monday morning saw six of the colleges take part in a trolley dash from Goodricke, through James and Wentworth and back to Goodricke before skirting around Vanbrugh and Central Hall to the finish line at the Physics building. The winners of the race were James College who whipped round the course so quickly they had little time to collect

money. Alcuin raised the most money and won a crate of beer. In a ten minute event Ange Davison, RAG President, said “I’m stunned we raised so much, a total of £76.”

BLIND DATE / COOKER: Cilla Black and complete desperados felt right at home on Monday evening with the Blind Date event.(see page 4). The evening was then taken over by Goodricke’s infamous Cooker. Break-dancing entertained the crowds while the Cooker took control, filling the Dining Hall.

FIREWALKING: This went ahead with 30 near suicidal walkers taking part. The fire burnt at 1250° F on Vanbrugh Paradise. A two hour preparation seminar took place beforehand for the participants in order to build up self confidence and psyche them up for the 15 foot walk ahead. As someone who took part, it was the most amazing experience, indeed terrifying when we saw the fire blazing, but it was inspirational by the time we had finished.

MR AND MRS dRAG: Thursday night saw £137 raised in one of the most quirky events of the week - Mr and Mrs dRAG. Hosted by Candy Darling, alias Internal Vice President Dan Simon. The competition involved participants dressing up in drag. They then competed against each other in a beauty pageant style competi-

tion, introducing themselves seductively to the audience. The King and Queen of dRAG was a rather rough looking truck driver with flaming pink hair called Antandec (see left), and a sultry, dark haired stranger from Alcuin. The highlight of the evening was undoubtably Candy Darling, who, complete with shaved armpits was scarily realistic.

RAG BASH: The notorious RAG Bash brought a successful end to a successful week. “Basically, it was a great excuse to get plastered”, one second year student told Vision. “Everyone there was up for having a good time and there were loads of feel-good vibes bouncing off the walls.

It was nice, after working hard all week.”

Music was supplied by the four DJ finalists of a competition that had been taking place all week. The contest was won by student, DJ Adept. He won £100 and also the possibility of playing with Judge Jules in the future.

Over £3,000 was raised the week was a fantastic achievement. RAG President, Ange Davison, was thrilled by the results.

“I would like to thank everyone for putting in such a lot of effort this week.”

Sophie Jewett & Fiona Kendall

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

4 NEWS & COMMENT York Student Vision

BLIND DATE SHOCKER

York Student

Vision

Editorial

REMEMBER THOSE informal University guides that took on near-Biblical status when you had a UCAS form to fill-out? Out of curiosity, the other day I flicked through a few of the latest ones.

I was surprised. According to one, York students are all quite ‘ironic.’ Another apparently thought us ‘quietly cynical.’ Presumably this is to a degree unusual even for our Vic-n’-Bob worshipping; Mark-and-Lard listening-to, generation.

Actually I can guess what they’re getting at. They’re talking about us and our attitudes: towards ourselves, our campus, our Students Union and all the other things around which we build our lives here at our University.

I think they’re wrong. Of course there’s a certain similarity in jokes: the lake stinks, Wentworth and Goodricke C-blocks are horrid; and everyone hates the geese.

Is it cynicism though? No, I just think here at York we know and trust each other enough to be honest with one another. And it’s something you especially notice, and are especially glad of, at this time of year when the scraps of multicoloured paper coat every wall.

Over the next few days of the YUSU elections I don’t doubt there’ll be the usual frayed tempers, tired complaints and drunken shouts. Through all this though it is so important - and so good to see - that we do here have a SU prepared to commit itself to working for and supporting all York students.

One prepared - even if sometimes it is awkward, difficult or inconvenient - to make itself as open and accountable as possible; one brave enough to be prepared to explain and justify its actions to the people it represents.

Certainly it is good for us here at Vision, just as it is for URY, YSTV, Nouse and all the other societies and individuals who day-in and day-out do their best to keep our campus informed and in touch with one another. Not by blandly advertising, but by reporting and by allowing people to express the many different opinions and views that make our University the place it is.

Honesty needn’t mean cynicism, just as familiarity needn’t breed contempt. So long as we remain honest with one another; and so long as we continue to trust and respect one another, it can continue to be what it is now - the basis of community.

Gareth Walker

the voice of

ikon

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IF YOU’VE been coming to our student night, Society, you’ll know what a success it has been! Every week seems to get bigger and bigger…and there’s much more in store.

As we are well into the term now, we are aware that everyone is short of money so we have made out night even cheaper. From now on as well as 70p for Heineken and £1 a pint we will also be selling VK Melon and VK Black for only £1 all night.

On top of this if you cut out this editorial and bring it with you on any Thursday night before the Easter break, you’ll get pre-paid admission.

We also still provide a free return bus service from the University. It picks up at the bridge by the library at 21.00, 22.30 and 23.10 and also at the Victoria at 22.35 and 23.15.

The return bus service starts from 1.15am.

We are also still recruiting staff, so if you’re interested in working at York’s biggest and best club, phone Guy or Vikki on 01904 693999.

Pre-Paid admissionwith this editorial York Student Vision

ON MONDAY of week six in Goodricke College the crowds gathered to see grown men and women make fools of themselves in aid of charity. Ah, what a wonderful institution RAG is!

The organisers did their best to replicate Blind Date and did a pretty good job with limited resources. The contestants wore blindfolds to replace ITV’s sliding screen and the host was hardly Cilla. He didn’t have ginger hair, he certainly wasn’t scouse and he smoked constantly throughout the whole affair.

At the end there were two winning couples. One couple bottled it after Tom Nall told his lucky gal he was too busy!

We spoke to the others; Kathy Barlow (SU Women’s Officer) a Thai - boxing Essex girl in her second year and Andrew Gee, James College’s up front Merchandise Rep. Two beautiful young people looking for love went along for fun and ended up falling for each other. Well actually, it wasn’t quite like that...

Katherine had to ask three questions to three blokes. Her favourite was “I used to be called Brian...is that OK?” and she was most amused by Andrew’s answers which included a comment about his love of fishing - “any opportunity to get my rod out!”, he said.

The fisherman from James was to be

Andrew Gee

Kathy’s choice; the audience shouted “Number Three!!” and number three it was. “I knew he was a first year,” Kathy told us “because he didn’t have the weatherbeaten look of a second year living out or the alcoholic pickled look of a third year after three years at the Gallery/ Toffs.” “Kathy looked cute,” was Andrews response.

A week later they were sent to Oscars for a meal. They broke the ice by getting lost trying to find the place but soon they found they had plenty to talk about and got on quite well. Afterwards they went back onto campus for a drink and a game of pool. Katherine eluded Andrew’s fishy advances by telling him she had to get

Katherine Barlow

back to play Monopoly with her mates!!

When asked whether there were any hints of romance, Andrew said “Apart from Kathy occasionally potting my balls with a misjudged shot when we played pool, nothing happened. I thought she was very attractive but I don’t think there will be another date.” Unfortunately, Kathy decided that “it would have been far too weird !” “He kept going to the toilet a lot, too.” She found this rather perturbing.

Never mind. Our Andrew did seem quite keen but it was not to be. They say they’ll be friends but sadly nothing more.

Brendan Spencelayh

STABBING AT TOFFS

A BRUTAL ATTACK at Toffs nightclub has reopened debate over the safety of the nightspot.

A fifty-five year old man has been charged with the attempted murder of his twenty-five year old wife, Mary Starkie, who suffered stab wounds to her thighs, forearm, chest and thumb.

The incident took place on Saturday February 19th at approximately 2am on the dancefloor.

Fears for safety at the venue, which attracts York University students on weeknights as well as weekends, have increased. One York student commented: “It’s unbelievable that someone can get stabbed on the dancefloor itself. It makes you wonder how carefully they check people before they are allowed in - I know they do in the Gallery.”

This recent episode follows an attack

on a student outside Toffs last term which nearly resulted in a boycott by the Students’ Union. Attendance by students has dropped since the incident in which doorstaff refused to help the Langwith student who had been the victim. Neither Toffs management nor the police were available for comment.

Recently, attendance at the club has picked up on student nights following the University Challenge compeition. The jousting event between colleges culminated in the final on Tuesday Week 7, which saw James College defeating rivals Goodricke in a tense and close final - with James winning on the last point. A free bar for the entire college was the prize, as well as a trophy presented to the winning team.

Ryan Garner, who secured vistory in the decisive bout commented, “We had

fun and we won fair and square despite Goodricke’s attempts to undermine our victory by saying that we had cheated.”

Rory Dennis, JCR Chair of Goodricke College, commented disgustedly on his defeat saying, “You may have won the bar for the night but you’ll never have one of your own. James students drink in our bar, but they may have to start going to Wenty!” Another bitter Goodricke student added that “James students drink in our bar, embarrass themselves and everyone else in our computer rooms and cheat in contests.”

However it was the James College students with their free drinks flowing last Tuesday who had the last laugh, leaving the unfortunates from Goodricke to ponder their defeat in their own superior bar.

Rajini Vaidyanathan

Letters To The Editor What’s bugging YOU? Dear Editor, I have to admit that I was shocked by an article in the last issue of Vision (issue 117), shocked by our own Student Union President! Normally we can rely on Miss Woolnough to provide us with typical student backing, or by the occasional sitting on the fence, but never is she controversial.

In the case of the article concerning James Narey (whom I have never met) the student President’s comments about the “convenient” position which James’s dad is in, was rash and unjustified, showing no support whatsoever.

Does the SU President have something against the whole British legal system in order to suggest corruption at the highest level? Does she have some contacts and does she know something that we don’t?

The Student Union President exists

ONLY to represent the views of the students and NOT her own personal opinions. Her comments are hurtful to anyone who knows James and also are a let down to any member of YUSU.

Yours faithfully, 1st Year Langwith student Dear Editor, I read with interest the quotes attributed to me in your recent article concerning the future of the Barbican Pool. If I may put the record straight.

1. The Council has spent nearly £1m over the last ten years across all its sports sites. Not over two years at the Barbican as stated.

2. Sport England has earmarked some £1.2 billion to spend through their Community Capital Fund over the next

ten years, (they have said they could spend £3 to 4 billion). Not that the Government spends £1.2b on local authority sports facilities per year.

3. The decline in use by York City Baths Club has been across all three pools not the Barbican as the article states.

I am happy to continue to speak to your journalist but trust that future articles will be a little more accurate.

Dave Meigh, York Council Leisure Services Department Please

send all

correspondence to

York Student Vision Grimston House

e-mail:

vision@york.ac.uk

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

York Student Vision 5

POLITICS

Problems of Change First year politics student Alison Rennie was asked to attend an international session of the European Youth Parliament in Helsinki as Chair of the Foreign Affairs, Security and Defence Committee.

THE EYP meets for a ten-day session three times a year, on each occasion in a different country.

Representatives come from EU member states and from countries aspiring to play a greater role in Europe.

accounts were the only way to protect citizens.

As the days wore on, and the committee became increasingly tired, the role of the chair became more important as a mediator. Should I let the debate run as it was exciting and might produce results?

Or should I intervene and diffuse the issue before it upset members of the committee?

There is no conclusive answer to these questions. But what I did learn was that, so long as the debate could be kept impersonal, the delegates were very resilient to possible offense.

The one exception to this rule was one delegate who felt he had to defend his

Although it was my fourth session, my time in Helsinki was just as challenging and new as my first session had been.

My committee was to address the question of whether an EU Marshall Plan (helping rehabilitate nations through funding and materials) would be an appropriate way to tackle the problems of democratic and economic stability in Eastern, SouthEastern and Central Europe.

Each member had brought with them a different opinion on the issues before us But before the serious discussion could start the committee had two days of team building in the snow. It was very important for the members of the group to be able to trust each other and also to work out ways of working with each other before the more difficult issues were tackled. Language barriers had to be conquered and the more awkward personalities within the group had to be tamed.

The committee having a break- Alison is the third on the left However, the atmosphere of committee work was very different, and a snow ball fight could no longer be used to solve the tensions within the group. Each member had brought with them a different opinion on how to encourage stability in Eastern Europe and the aim of the next four days was to create a consensus on the issues.

Tension within the committee pivoted around several central issues. A delegate

from Bosnia-Herzegovina, who lived through the Sarajevo siege, will have a very different opinion on how to tackle a corrupt government from that of a German or Irish delegate.

Having had direct experience of a tyrannical ruler it seemed obvious to the Bosnian delegate that education and other mild manners proposed would have no effect. Instead she argued that strict policing and the access to representatives’

As the days wore on and the committee became increasingly tired, the role of the chair became more important nation, Croatia, against any possibility that there was corruption or problems within the system.

And so I returned home after 10 days absolutely exhausted. The committee had decided that the best method to encourage stability was through Western promotion of economic growth and the enforcement of respect for human rights. I decided that having had a total of 15 hours sleep

Blood Money in Britain?

THE ‘INTERNATIONAL News’ sections of our papers are littered with tales about the horrors of modern warfare - from Sierra Leone to Chechnya we are confronted with the latest stories and statistics of grisly armed conflict.

Many of us are left cold - how can we react to the constant barrage of emotional news?

Few of us can begin to comprehend the anguish of war, and it is only when violence comes home that we really get any idea - take the Dunblane massacre or Omagh bomb. Britain has not forgotten the anger and sorrow that was felt, and the

Through our government’s complicity, we sponsor violence and terror

insistence that it must never, ever happen again.

Outside of our borders is another matter. Through our government’s complicity, we sponsor violence and terror, regardless of ethical concerns.

Soldiers in Sierra Leone The people of East Timor have been persecuted, their culture ignored and human rights abused for seventeen years.

It is to our shame that British weapons have been used in this conflict, despite the Foreign Office’s pledge that export licences are only granted to countries who will not use weapons for internal repression.

A more recent example is Tony Blair’s attempt to sell arms to Zimbabwe, making a mockery of his ‘ethical foreign policy’.

York Student Vision

Zimbabwe is renowned for its human rights abuses. It is in economic crisis, yet still spends millions funding its war in the Congo. Fortunately the public outcry over this decision was so great that the prime minister did a U-turn within a fortnight.

We rightly assume that it would be wrong for shops in Britain to sell guns to anyone who asks - we know that this would lead to greater gun crime and violence, so why do we stand by and let our

government do this on an international scale?

Perhaps if guns were sold on every corner we would be no more shocked by schoolyard shootings as we are by vicious overseas civil wars.

Few people know that the majority of casualties in today’s wars are civilian victims of small arms fire. The current deficiency of EU legislation means that there is no control over British companies involved in trade in small arms if they are in operation solely overseas.

This was illustrated by Sandline, a UK company which sold guns to Sierra Leone, a country in bitter conflict. Pressure is mounting for the government to do

The current deficiency in EU legalisation means that there is no control over companies

something about it.

Feel strongly about an issue?

Want to get your message across?

Politics Writers wanted Email: vision@york.ac.uk

Politics Jeffrey Archer has found a new role: as playwright and actor. The former candidate for London mayor has written a play about a doctor charged with murdering his wife. As lead role, Archer will again be in the dock.

...in a nutshell ......in a nutshell.....in a nutshell.....

Will McDougall explores the controversy surrounding the international arms trade, a wealthy industry that raises moral issues

throughout the 10 days was not a good idea and that some catching up was needed.

But for all the tears, frustration, anger and stubbornness I met in the committee room, the opportunity to meet and discuss issues that effect all of us, with delegates from all over the world, was a marvellous one. And that is why I fly to Athens this Easter to repeat the whole experience.

Tony Blair will soon be seen in a new role; helping old women with their shopping or driving children to school. The prime minister announced he ‘will be able to take a minimum of one day’s paid leave a year to do voluntary work’.

Speaking at York University recently, The Exoress columnist Peter Hitchens spoke of ‘the moral and social decay of Britain’. The right-wing journalist said he feared that Britain could soon end up in the same state as war-torn Somalia.

The ‘grey man’ of politics, John Major, could soon face an inquiry as to whether he should have declared a £1 million payment for work outside of his parliamentary role. Will he be next to take to the stage?

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

6 POLITICS York Student Vision

The Descent A Twist to into Europe’s Hell the Tale

As videotapes are uncovered exposing the full extent of Russian atrocities in Chechnya, Vision looks at the bloody situation in this long-running conflict for independence

Students are now being threatened with a fee system that will be based on their institution’s academic success

NEW EVIDENCE of Russian war crimes in Chechnya has provoked an international outcry. A film showing dead Chechnyans, wrapped in barbed wire and being flung into a mass grave by Russian troops, has been broadcast worldwide.

AT A recent meeting of vicechancellors from Britain’s top twenty universities, it was decided to begin a campaign to allow colleges to charge ‘top up’ tuition fees. This would allow each university to decide their own tuition fee, based on their rankings in the university league tables.

Along with evidence of torture and executions collected by a US-based group physicians for human rights, this has intensified international calls for an inquiry.

After denying allegations of war crimes altogether and then announcing a military police inquiry, Moscow finally conceded to an international investigation.

This indicates Russian embarrassment over events on the ground in Chechnya, since the renewed offensive against the breakaway republic began last September.

Since then, there have been countless reports of deliberate and accidental attacks on local civilians by Russian aircraft and artillery.

Worse still, Chechen civilians are being herded into ‘Filtration’ camps, intended to separate out civilians from ter-

rorists.

These camps have been the scene of torture, rape and murder, as Chechnya’s young men in particular are targeted.

One former camp inmate reported of the guards “They said any Chechen was a potential fighter... they said they would turn us into cripples so that we wouldn’t be fit for combat.”

But the situation is hardly one-sided, as Chechen rebels have been carrying out their own campaign of terror.

Chechen civilians wishing to remain neutral in the conflict are intimidated by the rebels, often being shot in the legs.

Russian POWs are executed without rea-

son.

The conflict is a brutal replay of Chechnya’s last war with Russia, from 1994 to 1996. After decades of persecution during the Communist era, the Chechens sought their chance to break away from Moscow.

Two years later, a humiliated Russian army withdrew, leaving one hundred thousand soldiers, rebels, and civilians dead.

Late last year the Russian campaign to take revenge and restore their power began. This time, however, the rebels seem to be on the run. Many have fled to neighbouring Georgia, threatening to embroil that nation in the conflict.

The most probable situation now will be for the Chechens to turn to hit-and-run tactics, as in the previous war. This could however lead to a repeat of the Vietnam conflict.

As the conflict becomes a guerrilla war, we can only expect the sufferings of soldiers, POWs and civilians on both sides to continue. But unlike the last war, the international community is taking proper responsibility in calling the warring parties to account.

When will this end?

Chris Loveman

Pinochet - the Final Straw Ryan Sabey says it was about time we let the General go

HOME SECRETARY Jack Straw had no option but to send General Augusto Pinochet back to Chile.

Common sense has at last prevailed. Straw has been welladvised to cut his losses now for the sake of British dignity.

There has been great cost to the British taxpayer while Pinochet has been under house arrest at the Wentworth estate.

The amount of time the Law Lords have spent discussing the matter could have been put to better use now that the House of Lords is a ‘legitimate’ revising chamber. They could have been discussing matters affecting the lives of Britons on issues such as health, education and constitutional matters.

Britain’s relationships with Chile and inadvertently South America have also been put at risk. It seems Britain has been unlucky. Pinochet came to Britain 16 months ago for surgery on his back.

During that time an extradition order was put on him by Spain which meant the Home Secretary had no choice but to decide the General’s fate.

But what matters have been raised?

For sure, international law will never be the same again. A precedent has been set for impunity against former Heads of States. This could have grave consequences for military dictators in the next few years. ‘Sovereign immunity’ can no longer be a shield for human rights abuses.

This would, apparently, “maintain the standards of British universities in the face of strong international competition”, which, of course, is commendable. ‘Top up’ tuition fees, however, are not the way to attain this.

Students at York could pay up to £6000 a year Firstly, university league tables are fundamentally flawed. The information used to compile them is provided by each university directly. It is not unlikely that universities already subvert the information they provide to move that bit higher up the league tables; by providing a greater financial incentive to lie, the temptation will only increase.

And what of the students? As it is, £1,025 is already a great sum to pay, especially when many are also paying all their living costs for the first time. Raising this, even slightly, will cause a greater finan-

cial burden which realistically will prevent many potential students from applying to university.

For each university to decide how much to charge based on their league position is a horrendous proposition.

Those without the £6,000 which the top institutions want to charge will be forced to look to academically worse institutions, no matter how good their A-level grades.

Take York for example. As one of the best universities for teaching, York would legitimately be able to charge near the maximum under the propositions. Within a few years, the university would turn into a glorified public school and gradually slide down the table whilst other, originally less academically minded universities, would rise up.

It’s not as if the extra money raised from ‘top up’ tuition fees would be spent on tuition. Rather, extra money would be ploughed into research, and so the undergraduate students would be paying vast amounts for privileges they would not be entitled to enjoy. Universities should be in place to educate students, not rip them off.

And what about subjects? York’s history department is one of the best in the country, yet students have only two to four teaching hours a week. Students at York’s physics department, on the other hand, yet their students have a large number of taught hours. Should history and physics students have to pay the same amount in tuition fees? And if not, who should pay more - the students who study in the best department, or those who have the most taught hours?

Differential tuition fees should not be allowed. They are bad for students and bad for universities. Students would be prevented from going to university depending on their background.

Universities would become a playground for the wealthy. All plans should be scrapped. And if this world were fair, tuition fees would be scrapped as well.

Tom Smithard

Mouth Off The plane of salvation - Britain is now safely behind Pinochet Already we have seen President Milosovic indicted by The Hague’s war crimes tribunal. No doubt Suharto of Indonesia and Duvalier of Haiti, currently in exile in France, will be looking over their shoulders.

But the ordeal isn’t over for Pinochet.

There will be a case to answer when he reaches the ‘Pinochet suite’ at one of Santiago’s military hospitals. Human Rights Watch believe that local prosecution serves as an acknowledgement of wrongfulness. Pinochet still has 57 unanswered charges against him.

It will not be a warm welcome when the General arrives. There will be several demonstrations from the Communist Party, human rights groups and relatives of the missing in need of long-awaited answers.

York Student Vision

The arrival of Pinochet also gives socialist President Ricardo Lagos, himself imprisoned during the General’s rule, the opportunity to reform the country’s military. According to a US State Department report in 1997, there are some alleged perpetrators of human rights abuses still serving in the military.

This case was never Britain’s to answer in the first place. Pinochet will seem a timeless accident that will reflect badly on Britain for many years to come.

The proximity of a trial in his homeland will hurt the accused. Juan Guzman, investigating the case, believes the General should stand trial. His senatorial immunity should go as should the sense of injustice for the relatives who’ve been let down, by their justice system and former Head of State, for over 25 years.

Over 100,000 people are stranded on treetops and rooftops that are buckling under the weight of scared and starving families desperately seeking refuge from the disease ridden floods beneath.

And yet still, two weeks after the tragedy first hit the headlines essential aid is not reaching Mozambique. Despite the consistent plea from military and civilian volunteers to the West for desperately needed cash and resources, only handfuls of aircraft are operating in the crucial areas.

What I find so disgraceful is the way that governments such as ours continually disguise their trade-motivated wars with claims of fighting the humanitarian cause, and yet when natural disaster sweeps across a country only just regaining stability, logistics seem to delay even the most advanced economies from sending aid.

One million people have already been forced from their homes, and with more floodwater forecast it is essential

that we motivate our resources.

The UK government have sent four puma helicopters and two transport planes to help with the effort, whilst the US have approved $10 million for food and rescue missions. But with so many lives already lost and so many hanging only by a thread, too little too late, may prove the case.

Even those having survived are now at an ever increasing risk of catching cholera or malaria, or any of the other fatal diseases thriving in the over-crowded primitive temporary communities.

Many of the rescued children await the fate of their separated families, with their future in the hands of kind strangers.

Reuniting the families will be one more mammoth task that faces the authorities when the worst of the flooding is over. Only then will the death toll begin to be calculated, and lives can be rebuilt.

All I hope is that when a future comes into sight, that our governments remember their duty to humanity and continue to help the devastated country - aware of the fact that the crisis is far from over.

Claire New

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

York Student Vision FEATURES 7

York Student

FEATURES

Vision I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER

Behind The Scenes In Outer Space

FAKE FATTIES FRIVOLOUS FIGHT

NO MORE MILLI VANILLI PLEASE!

BEHIND THE SCENES AT TFI

TO VOTE OR NOT TO-VOTE?

You can get some pretty weird stuff happening in Camden, but, abandoning York for a day in the capital, for a behind the scenes tour of Jim Hensons’ world famous Creature Workshop, we didn’t quite expect to see everything from Kermit the Frog to Alien whale ships. Alex Watson attempts to explain the mysteries of the universe and a robotic horse, and just how David Bowie got to be so scary...

I REMEMBER watching the film ‘Labyrinth’ when I was younger, and I remember it being both surreal, and slightly scary.

Fortunately, my behind the scenes tour of the Jim Henson Creature Workshop, though admittedly a little surreal, wasn’t scary at all.

But then perhaps that’s because David Bowie wasn’t there.

We were invited to see behind the scenes at the world famous ‘Creature Shop’ in order to promote the company’s new sci-fi drama, Farscape.

The Creature Shop itself is in Camden, and despite its rather unassuming building – an old warehouse on the side of the canal – inside, it seems like a completely different realm; the walls are covered in sketches and production art-work from the numerous films and TV series that the Creature Shop has contributed to.

Large latex puppets are dotted around the corridors like pieces of frozen celluloid; the Walrus from the Smirnoff adverts; more strange beasts from Labyrinth; and of course, the giant Kermit forever waiting on the sofa in reception.

In fact, the Creature Shop does at

York Student Vision

times seem like an old university; as well Mondays at 6.30pm. It tells the story of an as having pictures of all its world famous astronaut, thrown across space and time alumni, the offices are hidden all over the into a parallel universe full of aliens and building. intrigue.

From the plush suites of the concep- Which is pretty much where we tual artists, the dark rooms of the compu- started the tour of the Creature Shop. ter graphics department, full of piles of We’re ushered into a large office, which bleeping electronics, to the huge base- itself is the picture of graphic designer’s ments full of clay and half-formed plaster heaven; wood panelled floor, view out models, the building itself seems to revel onto Camden, TV and video, with a stack in the unconventional, of cult titles, and a even warped creative Large latex puppets are huge computer with logic that has proa pile of video pelled the Creature dotted around the corridors games. Not to menShop to its current like pieces of frozen cellu- tion hundreds of position as one of the drawings, everybest TV/film and loid; more strange beasts thing from simple effects studios in the from Labyrinth; and of pencil sketches to world. water-colcourse, the giant Kermit detailed, As well as producoured character studing series like the forever waiting on the sofa ies, all spread out on Muppets and The the table. in reception Fraggles, the work T h e shop has done lots of designer we got to third party work, from those Goldfish who talk to was suitably young, casually introduce the adverts on ITV movies, to dressed, and full of tales from LA. the small, clucking creature of the block- Needless to say, the first question on all buster, ‘Lost In Space’. our lips was, ‘are there any jobs going The newest ‘feather’ in their cap is of here!!??’ course, Farscape, a prime-time sci-fi However, it was certainly interesting drama, currently showing on BBC2 on to see how his initial sketches developed,

both in response to their original artistic influences (everything from comic books to precise natural forms), and the script’s view of that characters’ traits. In Farscape, for example, D’Argo is a rash young warrior, and the original drawings showed his long plaits and tattoos developed from ideas about him being a Viking-esque warrior.

Yet how D’Argo grew from several (albeit) detailed character sketches to the actual, three dimensional being we see on screen is something that we were shown as we descended towards the building’s cavernous basement.

Here, there’s people working on everything from hand size marionettes of creatures for their next feature; nipping and tucking at the clay with real artistic precision, while there’s also huge, lifesize model casts and numerous sketchboards, computers and finished animal models lying around.

They then showed us a room full of celebrity face ‘castings’ – the impression left in the rubber mould, which they make before adding, for example, Ralph Fiennes’ burn wounds in ‘The English Patient’... continued on page 8

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

8 FEATURES York Student Vision

Good Evans Above!

Rajini Vaidyanathan goes behind the scenes at TFI, checking out the rich and famous, and Chris’s dressing room along the way!

QUEUES SNAKED round the building at Riverside studios as we arrived to gain our ‘behind the scenes’ access to one of Britain’s most popular yoof programmes, TFI Friday.

Despite the fact the show gets aired at 6, rehearsals had begun at 2.30 and the live programme taped at 4. We dodged the many, who were all dressed up for a night of clubbing in the afternoon, to get our yellow stickers, so we could reach parts that others couldn’t. The fun began there.

Sporting our access passes we entered the studio first. It was like an aircraft hangar, with a large stage in the middle.

As we wandered in we had Madness performing on stage with Phil Jupitus - not that many people were in the studio, and there were loads of random types just hanging around, which meant that we blended in just fine.

I decided in true showbiz style to enter the bar upstairs like the celebrities (cue Ocean Colour Scene’s Riverboat song!). The first thing I noticed about these are that they are very steep, which makes me wonder why no-one has fallen up them yet.

The top bar is where it’s all at.

Gaining access is a mean feat though.

Only a select few of the ‘normal’ audience are lucky enough to be picked, and you usually need to sport credentials of tall blond and leggy. I was lucky that my reporter status gave me unlimited access to this haven of celebdom.

The first television myth that I can now dispel is that the bar is not big. It may appear so on television, but it’s no bigger than half of Goodricke bar. A fully functional bar it is and, perk number one I found as a result of being up the top, were free drinks.

It’s also the case that you get ‘up close

We could reach the parts that others couldn’t.

The fun began there!

and personal’ to the guests as they walk past.

Of course, it’s not just famous people that are guests on the show. Evans, celebrity magnet that he appears to be, managed to get Gail Porter in the bar to watch the show as well as famous chef Zilli, and various members of the Eastenders cast including Joe Absolom who set many hearts a flutter.

That was kind of weird, standing around with a load of celebrities, who just like me were observing Chris Evan’s antics. I couldn’t help noticing (much to my delight, as I often get jibes for being short) that I am in fact taller than Gail Porter.

Being up during rehearsals gave us a special kind of status.

No-one seemed to bat an eyelid as we stood, feeling rather weird at the thought of being in the bar, but it being in no way like anything I had imagined.

A p a r t from the crew, Evans

Aguilera : born to make you happy?

and his loyal producer Danny Baker, there were very few people around in the top bar to watch rehearsals.

I’m not sure if we missed the interview rehearsals, but it looked like Chris was just doing the ‘inbetween bits’ and introducing bands. Whilst upstairs we were approached by a guy who was to be a guinea pig for the roulette of love on the show. Noticing our passes he assumed that we held some kind of status (ha!) and started sucking up to us. Wondering where we were from, my fellow reporter decided it funny to say we were from the Guardian. Think he believed us too!

Guests on the show when I was there including the waif-like, and not so pretty in person Naomi Campbell, as well as Gianni from Eastenders and Christina Aguilera. Aguilera, flanked by bouncers, who someone muttered to me used to work for New Kids on the Block (so!?) sang an acapella version of her new song ‘What a girl wants’. She had done the same in rehearsal earlier, and it sounded amazing. So much so that myself, like Chris Evans who declared as much on the show, think that she might even have stolen Britney’s crown.

Making my way past Jamelia, who were rehearsing with Chris Evans right by the stage, in awe (they truly were amazing) I wandered off to find the toilets.

Rather lost, I stumbled past the dressing rooms of Chris Evans and Naomi Campbell, very showbiz I hear you cry.

No, sorry to shatter the illusion, but they were bog standard rooms. Peeping into Chris’s dressing room, it wasn’t that big at all, depsite what one might think from the way the press describe Evans.

Speaking of Evans, during rehearsal he was totally relaxed, and naturally at ease with what he was doing. The cast themselves seemed to be totally relaxed around him too, which dispels another showbiz myth that the man himself is an arrogant, self assured prima donna.

He didn’t seem like that at all. In fact after the show he stayed in the bar for a bit, chatting to people, with no visible chip on his shoulder.

After the show, privileged types are allowed access to the downstairs bar which is where I finally bumped into the wonderful Cedric. The party then moves

to

contract, making him look like he’s going to sneeze.

When you move your whole hand, inside the joystick rig, the head itself moves, and so whilst you’re using the latest computer technology, you’re actually controlling Dino’s head in a much more complicated, but similar manner, to a traditional puppet with strings. After much ‘ooo-ing’ and ‘aaa-ing’ as the various journalists competed to get Dino to do a cuter look (the winner being the one who came up with a particularly killer doleful eyebrows/mouth combination) we moved onto see one of their newest models, a full size shire horse from the recently produced George Orwell’s ‘Animal Farm’ The horse itself was controlled in a

similar manner to Dino; a pair of gloves, passed through a menacingly complicated control box, which moved the servomotors hidden under the realistic skin. If seeing Dino move was impressive, actually seeing the horse literally come to life was a fantastic illustration of the power of even non-digital modern effects. Seeing a skilled puppeteer control the model was amazing; everything from the tiniest movement of twitching its ears could be created.

As we walked out, in the corner was a small foam model of a sheep, with a large metal rod running up its back and into its head. The movements were controlled by a bar at the back.

The sheep itself was slightly moth

Evans : big mouth the pub across the road which is positively heaving. There, all those who were not lucky enough to get into the top bar, squeeze in to get a glimpse of Evans having a drink with his showbiz pals in a cordoned off area of the pub (rumour has it Melanie Sykes was there although I didn’t see her).

We also had the delight of seeing Evans wander down to the bar itself and pour his own pints (a very surreal sight!).

It’s here that those who had hopes of

Peeping into Chris’s dressing room, it wasn’t that big at all...dispelling another showbiz myth meeting the rich and famous can realise them. Many of the stars, despite wanting to mingle with their own sort and have a drink, are more than willing to appease the more persistent autograph hunters with their signatures, or to pose for a snapshot.

It’s here that we brushed shoulders with my favourite from the show, Werthers, who is Evan’s new sidekick following the departure of Wiiiiilllll.

Speaking to us he said he was “totally gobsmakced to be on the show, and grate-

ful that channel four put so much into it”.

At six o’clock the televisions go on, and the entire pub, still bursting at the seams, settles to watch the programme, which oddly enough evokes a strange kind of team spirit.

Everyone was part of the show somehow, even if a lowly audience member.

The show ends and the hardered drinkers carry on. Others, like me, call it a day and leave. It was clear that this is a weekly ritual for not only those in the show, but those who live near, who make it to the pub to mix with the famous, even if only briefly.

Although I’m no expert on going behind the scenes of programmes (although I do have Top of the Pops to my credit), I got the feeling that being on TFI is more than just going to watch a rich ginger bloke and his mates have a laugh.

For the three hours or so that you are there, you are part of a team, you feel included, almost special. And, that’s the most striking memory of my day at TFI. No matter what the press say about Evans being selfish and self-centred, I couldn’t help thinking that at TFI it’s about being one of us, rather than just another ordinary punter.

Making Faces

continued from page 7

...AND THEY actually decided to try it out on the gleeful Vision features editor, Ann Smith. The process involves a quick setting pink rubber paste being applied to the face (leaving only the nostrils uncovered), followed by a white fixing agent. Which, since they only cast half her face, made her look like the Phantom of the Opera.

Perhaps worrying that our exploits were turning more into bad gunge based on ITV children’s entertainment, when we prefer Fraggles, our next visit was to the computer graphics department.

A hands-on experience again; literally this time, as they loaded up an impressive Silicon Graphics workstation (the computers they use to do all the Hollywood special effects), showing a computerised model of the head of the pet dinosaur from the Flintstones, Dino. The head itself, whilst looking like a still picture, is actually created inside the computer first as a three dimensional ‘wireframe’ model, and then has progressively more graphical layers added to it, including a muscle structure beneath the visible ‘skin’.

The whole thing is then controlled using two joysticks, with each finger movement controlling a muscle. Flick your left little finger, and Dino’s nostrils

York Student Vision

eaten, and our guide told us that the latex and foam from which many of the models are constructed doesn’t last much longer than ten or fifteen years. Not that he seemed bothered; “our creations live on in celluloid”.

Perhaps it is appropriate that the magic itself is only temporary, needing the sparkle of the cinema to bring it to life.

The Creature Shop experience reminded me of a fairytale cave; it really is a labyrinth, one of both twisting corridors and hidden monsters (only old ones from old films), but also one of the imagination; quite simply, for the afternoon I was there, it was like being lost in the corridors of childhood daydream once again.

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

York Student Vision FEATURES 9

PUNCH UP YUSU: Worth a vote?

ATTACK

DEFENCE

INCONSEQUENTIAL, TRIVIAL and quite frankly a complete waste of time.

IN CLASSICAL Greece, citizens were literally beaten and herded into the market square to vote on every issue concerning the community. In post-modern York we get the odd SU publicity campaign that just about ensures one quorate UGM per year.

The Student Union elections are not worth bothering to show up to for a number of reasons. What’s the use of ballot papers and fancy campaigns when the competition is all between a long running clique?

Okay, so it gives York a sense of democracy, but once these people are voted in who hears from them most of the time? Is your daily routine actually altered one jot by the successful? On the grand scale of things it is a process that only benefits a minority.

It is true that there’s “someone” there when you need him or her, but how often do you need to be represented by an equal to you? Do you even have a clue who’s standing for what? Or even what officers exist?

Boycotting may be a bit extreme, but can you see yourself leaving your warm, cosy room (it does happen- honestly?!) to vote for someone you know nothing about? Your vote is just part of an ego grooming process, there is no reason why these candidates are any less self-obsessed than any other politician.

It’s often just a sake of voting because someone you know, knows someone, who knows someone else. The elections are a pure case of whom you know, not what you know. If that’s democracy, give me a dictatorship any day.

Isn’t it better not to vote than to vote for someone you don’t have a clue about?

At least by abstaining you are making a more positive stand.

Think about it, if you do not know where to vote, who to vote for and when to vote, why bother? It’s a waste of every ones time in the long run.

No, step outside the campus boundaries and into the real political arena.

Student politics are all just a phase and not worth bothering with, unless you know the right people of course. Have another drink, put your feet up and start talking some real politics.

Vee Cole-Jones

We can’t be bothered with UGMs. They reach decisions on issues that are dull. Occasionally we get a good one that’s worth turning up to, like that one about passing the budget last term so that

Without becoming a hack or talking for hours what we should do, once a year, is decide who is going to run the Union for us. the huge funds at the SU’s disposal actually got distributed to campus societies to us.

The SU has a very real purpose and an important part of that purpose is to deal with those issues that affect our lives but which we can’t be bothered with. I would far rather have matters like funding for campus societies run by student representatives in the Union than by spendthrift bureaucrats in Heslington Hall.

Without becoming a hack and without talking for hours about politics what we can and should do, once a year - it’ll take all of five minutes - is decide who is going to run the Union for us.

VOTE IN THE SU ELECTIONS ON THURSDAY AND FRIDAY IN YOUR JCR.Show the cynics that this generation is not entirely apathetic, selfseeking and narrow-minded.

Even if you believe the SU does absolutely nothing for you directly, they still represent you in the media and in the NUS. They are a reflection of you.

Do you really not mind at all if the candidate elected as president is a complete idiot? Make sure it doesn’t happen.

Vote in the elections.Ben Hulme-Cross

FOCUS ON...

Singapore

From colonialism to capitalism; Singapore slings to Starbucks’ coffee. Ann Smith investigates the ‘fine’ island city of Singapore THE IMPRESSION that a number of people have when asked about Singapore is that they think ‘it’s part of China isn’t it?’ or ‘Didn’t Nick Leeson get jailed there?’.

Nothing could be further from the truth. At the turn of the twentieth century, Singapore remained a bastion of colonialism, courtesy of Sir Stamford Raffles, who ‘discovered’ its capabilities in the previous century.

It became a key area for British naval defence in the two wars, and whilst invaded by Japan during the second world war, came out of the crisis with ideas of regeneration and renewal. And so it has.

Singapore has managed to drag itself away from its colonial past and the future looks to be increasingly bright for this ultra-modern region of the world.

Wandering down Orchard Road, the main shopping area in downtown Singapore you can buy anything you want, at almost any time of day.

Stereos, watches, CD’s...for the materialistic tourist, this place is a haven; a god-send. Shopping is a fundamental part of the psyche, it must be, because all day, every day, there are Singaporeans and tourists alike wandering the streets weighed down with shopping bags.

But to write it off as merely a shopper’s mecca would be wholly inaccurate.

Singapore is so cosmopolitan it hurts.

Its society is a mixture of Expats, Chinese, Malays, Indians, to name but a few and it enjoys an extremely peaceful co-exist-

Mohammed Sultan mosque viewed from Kampong Glam...nice... ence.

Despite the majority of public housing consisting of HDB flats, which are reminiscent of very brightly coloured high-rise council housing, there seems little daily strife involving racial violence, with The Straits Times, the country’s chief newspaper, reporting relatively little bad news by European standards.

The smaller subsidiary towns around the downtown area are a hive of fantastic hawker centres and restaurants, with the East Coast Park (ECP) area, famous for its wonderful seafood, straight from the South China Sea. Holland Village, full of expat families, is a trendy area which houses a large chunk of the city’s funky young bars, along with Mohammed Sultan Road, which is the main haunt of young

Singaporeans.

For extra-curricular fun, which is also surprisingly cheap in comparison to British standards, Singapore is the ideal place for both water sports, and the arts, with an international arts centre being built as I write.

In addition, Singapore has a worldclass zoo, and night safari, which - whilst you might not agree with in principal - is heartningly concerned with the conservation of endangered species.

On the more kitsch side of things, take a trip to the Tiger Balm Gardens (Haw Par Villa),which seems to be a retro form of Madam tussauds which errs on the side of the gruesome.

Whilst perhaps not what you would call a student budget friendly place to visit, there is still much else that you can do very cheaply.

Travel around the city is extremely cheap on the MRT, the Singaporean equivalent to the Underground, and even cheaper by bus, which has the added advantage of allowing you to really see your surroundings.

This might seem a little dull, but as ever increasingly huge skyscrapers litter the skyline of Singapore it is reassuring to wander around atmospheric Little India, Chinatown, or around the colonial Padang, in time for tiffin, or a singapore sling at the Raffles, and soak up some of Singapore’s not so distant past.

Bumming around on bumboats around the bay of Singapore

Kieran McIntyre, tries to forget his days of synthesizers, psychadelic shell suits and skittles and prays they never return LOOKING BACK at what we allowed to happen in the eighties is enough to make us grimace.

Vanilla Ice, Toffee apples, the door-todoor salesman and the Austin Allegro were all prolific in the eighties. But on reflection, they all knew that with the dawning of the nineties, there would be no place in our society for them if planet Earth was not to be the laughing stock of the Universe.

So it came to pass that, along with the duffel coat, they resigned themselves to the history books. But there are numerous other legacies bestowed upon us from this era that have escaped destruction and have

York Student Vision

stowed-away by inhabiting the darkest and dingiest corners of our world for the complete expanse of the nineties. And as we have now transgressed into the new millennium, I challenge you to examine these corners in search of mischievous stowaways and expel them quickly in order to save the face of our planet.

You may want to start by examining the bottom of your drawers at home where you will, I guarantee, find one or both of the following offending items which were more common than the Ford Cortina and goldfish: A perfectly embalmed, bright green and orange pair of Bermuda shorts (these are particularly dangerous fashion accessories that were more common in the

eighties summertime than the smell of freshly cut grass….and yes, I know you wore them just like the rest of us!)

Sitting smugly in the vicinity will be a well-used shell suit and possibly a whole family of them. These cheeky little fellows, however have become immortal and endemic in modern day Merseyside.

These two items should be handled with care as they contain an unidentified toxic chemical that encourages neurosis of the brain and destroys important cells pertaining to sound and reasonable behaviour.

During their reign of terror in the eighties they attacked the brain cells of people across the planet and zombified some of us into believing that Vanilla ice was a

talented pop icon and that a first generation £1500 mobile phone the size and weight of a common house brick was a sound financial investment.

There is no doubting that there was something that was seriously amiss in the eighties. We were undoubtedly under the influence of all the curly-wurlies or skittles we ate so freely. We should then, be thankful that at least most of us all escaped the synthesizers and the mullits, Milli Vanilli and Bananarama, Fun boy Three, the dot-matrix and the racer. May we never walk on such ground again!

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

10 FEATURES York Student Vision

Six Seminar Stooges Vision takes its seat, shuffles its papers and takes a nervous look round at the seminar group from Hell.

THE CLEVER ONE:

ALSO KNOW by the feared epithet “The one who actually does the reading”, University policy dictates that at least one is compulsory per group. These come in a wide variety of guises: from the pleasantly dotty, to the slimy and slug-like. Although this species can initially inspire grudging respect, it’s equally likely you’ll

Cartoons: Victoria Kennedy

quickly develop toward them a deep and bitt e r

loathing.

Most likely to say: In the third edition of Gunther Fairbold’s dissertation, to be found in the Autumn edition of the 1976 Journal of Anthropological Review...

Least likely to say: I’ll see you at Club Derwent.

THE LAD

THIS WIDESPREAD group are looking for only one thing from a seminar: and it’s not a deeper understanding of East-Asian macro-economic structures. Just as he considers ‘The Gallery” a large building where drunken women in scanty clothing happen to be concentrated, so for this individual the seminar itself is entirely incidental. Far more important are the preceding five minutes of chat before the tutor arrives, the coffee-break and - the holy grail itself - the end-of-term trip to the bar.

Most likely to say: Going to Toffs tonight?

Least likely to say: Hi, is this the right room for “The Works of Germaine Greer” course?

York Student Vision

THE “BIG WHEEL ON CAMPUS”

A FLIGHTY, fast moving species: this person may be on the JCR, acting in a play, organising a summer camp for homeless orphans or planning an international conference to marshal the forces of revolutionary socialism:- they may indeed be doing all of the above. Ultimately though, for reasons no-one can quite discern, they are certainly far to busy to waste their time in seminars.

Most likely to say: Sorry I’m late/have got to leave early/ have got to answer my mobile.

Least likely to say: Yeah, I read that too.

THE TRAGIC:

DISTINGUISHABLE BY their trembling voices and general sweatiness, these individuals have a good right to be nervous.

Seminars are probably the only time in the course of a week that they are required to speak to other human beings. Even then, they struggle to understand why they are necessary in the first place: especially when it would be so much more efficient to conduct lessons via the Internet.

Most likely to say: Anyone checking their e-mail?

Least likely to say: I’ll send it by internal mail.

THE REBEL:

SPORTING A shiny (fake) leather coat and at least one facial piercing, these individuals provide a brooding presence in the shadowy corner of a seminar room. Rarely far from their guitar case, these tortured souls live constantly on the edge Who can say when the ‘pressure’ will get to them and not even twenty-six hours of solid exposure to “Paranoid Android” and early-period Manics is enough to stop them from doing something like, serious.

Most likely to say: I saw Richey.

Least likely to say: Anything in his real, public-school, accent.

THE LONER:

IN EXTERNAL characteristics often similar to the above, this species are in reality considerably more scary. They are actually genuinely angry...at everything. The only time your likely to get more than four consecutive words out of them is if by chance the seminar strays upon the topic of the British educational system. Then just sit back and enjoy a two-hour tirade

against the public-school system, interspersed with references to the individuals gritty traumatic life in comprehensive school. Although even then you probably won’t understand a word...because of the Northern accent.

Most likely to say: Nothing.

Least likely to say: Anything.

Gareth Walker

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

York Student Vision FEATURES 11

Get Ready to Rumble!

James Buchanan gets to grips with wrestling, York style.

SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT wrestling usually enters a conversation shortly before the word “fake”.

The American style wrestling at the York Grand Opera House therefore can be described as a fake of a fake.

Alternatively, you could just call it ridiculous. The action took place in a pitifully small ring, narrated by a disastrous commentator. The wrestlers featured were Cain, The Undertaker (both played by the same person), Legion of Doom, Mr USA (“reputedly the world’s strongest man” and sporting a particularly strong Barnsley accent) and three others who weren’t even pretending to be proper people.

One of the latter jokers actually

turned in the best performance, setting himself up as an epic villain by deriding the audience as “fat, smelly, ugly children”.

The audience, made up of an eclectic mix of drunks and eight year olds, showed the best fighting spirit of the night in reply to this by pelting the overweight Scot with sweets until an official warning had to be given.

The crowd also provided a slightly disturbing note as the barbarity of primary school children was exposed in their baying for ‘Hank Soloman’ to use an axe on The Undertaker.

Parents winced, as much at the hammy commentary as the violence, whilst the kids re-enacted their favourite moves while leaving.

Vision TAKES YOU WHERE THE CAREERS SERVICE DAREN’T IN OUR STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE TO WRESTLING STARDOM STEP 1: Goodie or Baddie?

Your first and quite possibly most crucial decision.

Obviously the goodies have the looks, the cheering crowd, the glistening biceps.

As ever though, it’s the bad guys who get to have all the fun.

They get to hit opponents with sticks, blunt metal objects and (if you lure them into the car park) motor vehicles.

STEP

2 :

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York Student Vision

STEP 4 - Get the lines

Every wrestling bout has inexorably to be preceded by a session of extended threat and counter-threat so mind-numbingly tedious as to be likely to cause more brain-damage than the fights themselves.

It is first essential you find a means of grievously insulting your opponent whilst avoiding all obvious swear-words (this is prime-time, remember).

Disparaging references to your adversary’s mother and immediate family are popular; vacuous threats of impending physical violence are better (blood, violence - now that is suitable family viewing) .

STEP 5: The big match.

Fancy Dress...Novelty...Magic...Accessories

Magic...Wigs...Masks...Fancy Dress...Hats...

YORK’S NEW CITY CENTRE PARTY AND JOKE SHOP

duced for maximum merchandising potential.

Get a personality.

As a rule-of-thumb the shallower and more conceited the better. Above all it is crucially important that you avoid anything that even vaguely smells of subtlety. Every aspect of your character has to be entirely tied to one concept in so simple a fashion that even fat Americans who think Freud is a type of German cheese ‘get it’.

Thus: burnt as a child? You are a hideous deformed freak full of selfloathing and, erm...afraid of fire.

Foreign (i.e. not North American)?

You are inherently weak, cowardly and basically may as well prepare to get you arse kicked...for ever

STEP 3: Your Physique You have two options: start

the diet, lift those weights and build up that muscle; or else just get very, very fat.

Hair-style options are equally restricted.

It’s either got to be long, greasy permed hair, last fashionable among American rock groups of the mid-80s...or suitably menacing baldness.

Clothing wise, well it’s got to be skintight fluorescent spandex: nothing else will do. Complement with at least one completely crass accessory: leather jacket, sun-glasses, goggles, cowboy hatsanything that can be cheaply mass-pro-

Yes, we know its not real thank-you: that just makes it all the more compelling. This isn’t just violence: this is art, theatre and ballet all subtly blended into one (lightly and deliciously spiced by the addition of steel chairs, crow bars and two-by-four blocks of wood).

Be adventurous and avoid the obvious. Your opponent is lying prone on the floor? Don’t just keep kicking him. Take a stroll, wave to the crowd, strut in anticipation of your inevitable victory, climb up on top of the ropes and jump, letting him role out of the way and kick you in the groin.

Now, repeat for at least two hours.

And of course, the coup-de-grace: your special move. This should of course be bizarrely named, entirely unnecessary, require at least twenty minutes of build-up and ultimately appear so pathetic as to be unlikely to cause pain to anyone...except the thousands of pre-adolescents who attempt to inflict it upon one another upon hard surfaces the following day.

STEP 6:

Abandon all sense of irony.

This isn’t a place for postmodern, sneering students.

Ask the Americans - it’s serious.

‘The’ Gareth Walker

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER One of the more tedious aspects of growing up is that we are now expected to take responsibility and treat our vacations not so much as holidays in the traditional sense but as time in which to enhance both ourselves and our CV. Vision goes global to expose the trials and tribulations of the real student summer, from the chores of the checkout to goat herding in Timbuctoo.

Inter-Rail AN INTER-RAIL trip is a great way of seeing a fairly large chunk of Europe on a budget.

The best time to go for a student seems to be September as the main holiday boom has passed, leaving less crowded beaches and cheaper accomodation and you can work all summer to pay for it.

A ticket can be bought from major train stations and divides Europe into zones of around 3-4 countries each. The amount you pay is dependent on how many zones you choose to visit and how long you plan to travel for. The ticket then covers all train lines except some high speed expresses where a supplement is payable.

You can also get reduced ferry fares across the Channel and from Italy to Greece. Supplements are also payable on night sleeper trains though these can work out as a good way of travelling- saving the cost of a hostel that night and meaning that you don’t get stuck in a train for too

Ibiza Uncovered IBIZA, famed for drunken 18-30s holidays and gangs of lads and lasses living it up post-GCSEs. On arrival all that struck me was that it was hot. It was the early hours of the morning when we landed and in England, even in the middle of summer, it would undoubtedly have been chilly.

Whilst the locals were safely indoors having a siesta, the Brits seemed to be living up to their “mad dogs and Englishmen” reputation!

Unwilling to risk a hint of sunburn despite being covered from head to foot in suntan factor 28, we went in

many of your days.

That said, some journeys are definitely worth being awake for, the route along the French Riviera from Nice to Milan being a definite gem on the right day.

A must buy for this trip is the Thomas Cook European Train Timetable (aka the Bible) that lists all major train routes on the continent. A good travel guide is also a help. Personally, I found one of the most enjoyable parts of this holiday the fact that we got on the Dover

The most enjoyable part of this holiday was boarding the ferry with no fixed route or destination, we just bought a map of Europe and took it from there ferry with no fixed route or destination, bought a map of Europe and took it from there.

We ended up passing through eleven countries, though we found that you tend to find out more about the district and individual towns you’re staying in, such as Barcelona and Munich, than the countries as a whole. Three tips: go to Octoberfest in Munich if you can (its in September they just call it that to fool tourists), don’t start playing poker on the long train journeys and go to Amsterdam last.

JB

search of booze.

You have the choice of English bars, Scottish bars or bars draped in the Welsh dragon. You get to see drunken girls on the way to clubs wearing the shortest and least substantial dresses ever to have been designed. The blokes are more likely to be in shorts and naked from the waist up! Sitting there sipping a Malibu and Coke, you are sure to be asked at least thirty times by blokes offering fake gold chains, “Look nice, great price!” .

What about the clubs then?

Manumission. Cream. Es Paradis. To the hardened clubber, familiar names.

To us, intimidatingly trendy places.

Or so we thought!

In fact it’s amazing how few hardened clubbers there actually are.

Most were just like us. Used to cheesy bops rather than hardcore trance! Clubbing in Ibiza has to be done but be ready for a very sweaty and very expensive night!

RS

IN THE good old days of my long lost youth the holidays existed for only one reason: to have fun. The sense of freedom is what I remember most about the days spent riding my raleigh Bluebird up and down the same street, trying to make marks in the melting asphalt because Alice who was eight said it was cool.

As I got older the summer was spent posing, mineral water in hand, outside various cafes, or in bikinis on crowded beaches, but still I was free of responsibilities, worrying about nothing other than how to stave off the boredom.. Now a degree or an aptitude for a subject is just not enough these days to impress hard to please employers.

No graduate scheme application form is complete , it seems, without sections asking for details of voluntary work, travel and previous work experience , and at 21 a lot of holidays need to have been sacrificed for these to make you stand out from the crowd.

In the quest for the perfect summer experience it seems that there are four main types of student. Firstly, there is the career minded internee.

This student believes that work experience is everything.

A position in a top company might help them get their foot in the door of their future career, and ‘networking’ is their ultimate buzzword .

When they do move into the world of work they expect megabucks straight away and will do anything to get it.

Secondly, there is the overdraft reducer. Unfortunately not blessed with ‘co-operative’ parents this group of students find themselves in massive debt having spent their loan on weekend trips to Amsterdam and their overdraft in Vanbrugh bar.

They have no choice but to get any job in order to stop the threatening letters from the bank. The Third group, the

G

Hitch Hikers’ Guide IF YOU want a ‘holiday’ find a tour group, sign up, pay up and put your feet up. Rest assured that even if you are embarking on six weeks in the Amazon you will be well looked after.

Every day will be carefully planned out, every meal precisely organised (taking vegetarians into consideration, of course) and every ‘cultural experience’ will be calculated.

But, if you want excitement, you will have to go it alone - travel agents don’t stock adrenaline. If you are

‘adventurous travellers’ are one that I personally find rather annoying. Financed by ‘Daddy’ they might go on a two month goat herding course which sounds hell to you, but they arrive back with the most sickening tan and stories about finding inner peace amongst their flock and fulfilment with Rupert from Cambridge in the Goat Shed (The Goat Shed being the name of the local wine bar).

Although most employers aren’t going to be impressed with any specific experience they learnt along the way ( grooming a goat/ curtseying to Monaco Royals) this group don’t care as they intend either to go into Daddy’s business or PR. Some students do travel to do worthwhile things Teaching English abroad is one extremely popular option for which there are plenty of schemes to choose from.

The fourth and final group buck the rules for sensible student summers as they are not concerned with advancing their careers at all.

Holding on tightly to the memories of their recently relinquished school summer holidays and that pre uni trip to Magaluf with 36 of their friends they believe that the holidays mean freedom and fun in the sun. Once they have the required five hundred/thousand pounds they need for their epic clubbing fiesta they stop working and do no more.

The rules for student summers are clear. Do something, do anything. As long as it can be portrayed as intrepid, innovative or inspirational on a company application form, it’s fine. If, however, you just want to have mindless fun, go on package holidays, and sit in beer gardens.....don’t. Save that for term time.

GLOBAL G N I O

looking for something different, galloping around the pyramids at tersomething that will stay with you rifying speed. I had never ridden a once the tan has faded and your hair horse before, and I was not sure that has lost that sun-kissed sheen - try this was the time to start, but dewy backpacking. eyed and inexperienced I was an This time last year, armed with easy target for the hardened Egyptian nothing more that a 45-litre ruck- tourist industry. sack, a small fist full of travellers If I had gone with a tour group I cheques and my best friend, I said would not have been conned that good-bye to leafy first day and so England, and If you want excitement, you would not have caught the night will have to go it alone - travel ridden horse back flight to Cairo. agents don’t stock adrenaline. along the base of I had a vague the pyramids; I On my first day I found dream about seemyself hiring a horse from the would still be ing the pyramids, dewy eyed and and an inkling ‘Government Camel Institute’ i n e x p e r i e n c e d and galloping around the pyr- and I would not that the Valley of the have got to sneak amids at terrifying speed Kings could be into an ancient interesting, but no temple at night. real plans. Nothing could have pre- Back packing is one of the cheappared me for the month that was to est ways to see the world, you can follow. get by on less than ten pounds a day

On my first day out in Cairo I in Egypt. So my advice is pick somefound myself hiring a horse from the where you want to go and go: just ‘Government Camel Institute’ and make sure it isn’t the travel agency!

KH

Teaching in Thailand I KNOW what you’re thinking, I too have been there. Having worked solidly the previous summer, you desperately want to travel in this summer vacation!

Having lazed around my campus kitchen for long enough I decided to trawl the Internet for schemes that would combine work and travel, and add a zest to what might turn out to be a blisteringly bland summer.

Luckily, there were literally dozens of schemes but, I decided to delay no further and signed up, sent the cheque away, and within three months, I was being ferried by mini-

bus to my Thai host family, in Western Thailand. I had been contracted for a month-long teaching placement and whilst I often found it hard to communicate, I felt that I was seeing a Thailand far removed from that pictured in glossy films like The Beach.

The group of volunteers that I met on the project were fantastic, and through bouts of homesickness, and illness, we made sure that we were

I felt that I was seeing a Thailand far removed from that pictured in glossy films like The Beach all kept bouyant.

Our project developed further whilst we were out there. It was exciting to teach at various schools, and teaching conferences – every day was entirely different.

To some, being stuck in a rural village 30km from the nearest town might seem dire but the communities were so happy to see you there,

working with their children in their schools, that what they lacked in materials and provisions, they more than made up for with enthusiasm to learn.

I couldn’t speak Thai, they could only speak a modicom of English, yet through games, songs, photos, and general pratting about in a bid to help the kids learn, we were able to communicate.

The Thai people are a fun-loving and easy-going race and often this was frustrating when you are used to the rigour of the British education system yet ultimately, I came away from my travels in Thailand very proud that I had given my time and effort to people who were genuinely keen to have us there.

I think that my teaching style may have been a little daring (it earnt me the reputation of ‘crazy English girl’) but having never taught before, I was on a learning curve also.

It was an experience which I will hopefully never forget.

AS

The Intern ­­­ ALWAYS wanted to do someI’D thing a little different in my last summer as a student. I envied my friends who had taken years out and travelled the world, or those who had the guts to look after little kids on summer camp.

I was also aware that many of my contemporaries were getting penultimate year placements at big firms, so I was torn between the idea of a summer jaunt around the world with my backpack and camera, or a cushy well paid job in the City pretending to be a suit for three months.

It was then I decided that the best thing for me to do was to get a job abroad where I could also gain relevant job experience.

After much scouring of the internet and hasty mail-outs of my resume, I found the job for me, as a legislative correspondent for a US Senator, living in the heart of the world’s power base, Washington D.C. It was easy enough getting the job, there are hundreds of internship

Supermarket Sweep IT WAS 30 degrees of heat outside, and as the sun-kissed, shorts-clad customers sauntered towards the ice cream, I buried myself and my envy even further into my cheap polyester body warmer That was the summer of ‘99, a heady mixture of reward cards and frozen poultry. 10 weeks of 7am starts for 8hours a day.

It perhaps wasn’t the most humane way to treat a body which had kicked back into an easy routine of 10am alarm calls and a six hour working week, but empty bank accounts and full student loans made

websites advertising for interns, as well as the Petersen’s guide to internships, which has hundreds of relevant work placements in the States.

Typing in the word internships to Yahoo, also gives you a whole host of relevant job sites. The job itself was fantastic.

Working for a Senator is a great thing to have done. My duties encompassed a whole host of aspects pertaining to a Senate office; attend-

After hasty mailouts of my resume I found the job for me, as a legislative correspondent for a US Senator, living in the heart of the world’s power base, Washington D.C. ing Senate and House hearings, writing press releases, researching legislation, scheduling.

It also gave me a glimpse into a lifestyle I would otherwise have never seen; flash receptions at embassies, trips on the Senator’s flash boat and even lunch in the exclusive Senate dining room.

If you’re thinking about embarking on some cool interesting worldwide venture this summer all I have to say is Do it. I ummed and aahhed about going to the States and nearly bottled it, but I am so glad I did.

RV

such hardships a necessity.

So, choking back my ideals of two weeks off in some Tuscan paridiso, I took my place amongst the thousands of other struggling students and settled for a summer behind the cash register. Begrudgingly I wore my flattering navy and orange 2 piece, trying my utmost to block out the ‘Very Best of the Panpipes’.

But it soon became my way of life.

It’s amazing how asking for cash back becomes like second nature.

But besides having reached a personal stacking best of 10 crates of eggs in 2minutes, and bearing the proud title of ‘fastest packer west of the household goods’, I got a lot from last summer.

Slumped over a moving conveyor belt, I learned to appreciate the little things. The smell of freshly baked donuts first thing in the morning, and the joy just three small words can bring to any checkout girls heart ‘end of shift’.

BS

14 York Student Vision

TELESCOPE . . . b o o k s . . . g a m e s . . . i n t e r n e t . . . t v. . . r a d i o . . .

PSYCHO KINETIC Mark Kember’s having a bad hair day. But it’s no problem if your psychic...

You can talk to me (on-line) says Nigel Hammond THERE’S A lot of other people out there on the web - not that you’d know it of course.



Surfing in the confines of the grey box that sits on the desk is a very solitary thing, especially when the only indication of anyone else having clicked where you’ve just clicked is the counter.

So if you want to talk to the clicking masses, what are your options? Firstly, there’s Internet Relay Chat. MIRC is the best client (mirc.com) and it’s small enough to fit in your user area. Simply start it up, choose a server (UK EFnet is probably the best), and then choose from the myriad chat rooms.

IRC can be a bit cliquey; it’s often quite hard to know where to start.

Software like ICQ (icq.com) and Gooey (gooey.com) allows you to communicate with friends who are on-line, and other people who are looking at the same webpage as you.

Psychic Force 2 Playstation JVC



Everyone has bad hair days.

Admit it. So why do Japanese games make these incredibly odd hair styles obligatory for all their characters?

Psychic Force Two has some of the strangest looking characters I’ve seen for some time now, and yet I seem to have spent a lot of time getting to know them. I still don’t know why...

Psychic Force Two has some of the strangest looking characters I’ve seen for some time now, and yet I seem to have spent a lot of time getting to know them The game focuses around a group of people known as ‘psychiccers’ who have special powers such as the ability to fly and to hurl huge great swathes of projectiles at anyone in their way.

This makes fighting a necessary part of their daily lives, either for the shadowy organisation known as NOAH, a union brought together for the protection of their common interests, the Army, currently producing its own psychics; or those who

DO BE DO, DA DE DA, Innuendo . It’s never, ever funny.

ICQ is a ‘buddy’ program (horrible American term); it shows when your friends are on-line, and allows you to chat in real-time, send mobile phone style text messages, or links.

If you don’t want to mess around with extra software, check out DoBeDo (dobedo.co.uk). It’s probably the most ambitious, and also bizarre chat sites I’ve yet come across. It’s certainly the wildest and certainly most colourful cartoon chat site on the web. Set on a fantasy island of party people, apparently you can “become part of the kitten and cat pack, flirt fabulously and banter beautifully in all the exotic locations across the island.”

DoBeDo is a lot more interesting than a lot of chat sites out there, dressing up its chat rooms as a fantasy island, and it’s certainly pretty, although it can be a bit slow. Yet the most bizarre thing is the story that runs in the background and the characters like “Doctor Trumpfellow, the island’s ruthlessly ambitious entrepreneur” or “Priss, the funky thigh booted eco-warrior”.

Chatting on-line is easy to get in to, and it’s certainly fun as well. It’s worth remembering that you can be as weird as you like on-line... be yourself, be someone else, just don’t forget to go home...

WIN STUFF!

Vision’s got loads of cool DoBeDo stuff - over 150 pounds worth - to give away, like record bags and t-shirts...

And if you want to get your hands on it, just tell us what you’d call your island if you owned one (and why).

Then e-mail your answer to vision@york.ac.uk by the end of term with your name and college or send it by internal mail to Vision, Grimston House.

Logon to www.dobedo.co.uk for the wildest and most colourful conversation on the web. But whatever you do, don’t behave yourself!!

The editor’s decision is final, winners will be notified by e-mail and published after the Easter holiday in Vision

York Student Vision

are unaligned, with their objectives and interests.

Behind them all lie the sinister figures of Wong, a scientist, and a military general called Keith.

Within the game itself you and your opponent fight within a 3-D cube, inside which you can fly.

There are various methods of scrapping, both close in with fists and feet, or from farther away, where you can use psychic projectiles which depend on your character’s particular ability, varying from fire and lightning based attacks to the more esoteric singing

of Patty.

The game itself has the standard Arcade, Versus, Team Battle, and Survival modes, but it also contains Story

and Psy-Expand modes, two attempts to expand the range of the fighting game’s usually quite limited horizions.

Story mode takes your chosen pro-

between the characters. Psy-Expand mode is another addition, in which you play through fights with certain restrictions imposed in order to free up extra moves.

With its degree of extra modes and secrets to be found, Psychic Force Two is a game that has had a lot of thought poured into it, yet it may fall down for one of the simplest of reasons : it has a combat system that is either instantly accessible or overly simplistic, depending on your point of view.

The idea behind the system itself is sound yet it somehow needs something extra. The game itself is fun, but it may not be for everyone, with the emphasis on

The characters have the weirdest personal lives ever; theres fun to be had with the twists and turns of revenge, love, friendship, hate - all the standard stuff

tagonist through a range of scripted confrontations, each one affecting the next battle to be fought, and giving more of a framework to the game itself, due to the expansion of the personal relationships

the amount of there is to do.

The characters themselves, apart from looking very strange in places, have a set of the weirdest personal lives ever, and that is one of the best parts of this game : there is a large amount of fun to be had with the twists and turns of revenge, love, friendship, hate - all the standard stuff.

The score I have given for this game is a reflection that it may not be to everyone’s taste, but I personally enjoyed

THE REAL BEACH Hamlet or Sunset Beach? Which features the most soliloquies? Holly Cartlidge says goodbye to Channel 5’s groundbreakingly bizarre soap opera....

29TH FEBRUARY 2000. Reality starts to come into focus as Channel 5 airs the final episode of its cheesy yet addictive soap Sunset Beach, after the show was axed in the US. Daytime TV will never be the same again. I first started watching ‘Sunnies’ about two and a half years ago during what must have been a long summer with too much time on my hands.

At first I scoffed: how could anyone take this thing seriously?

And, more to the point, who came up with the idea in the first place?

And who decided to actually make it? I convinced myself I was just watching it for a laugh, I had nothing better to do.

But after a while I was disturbed to find myself empathising with the characters and putting off other tasks until I’d finished watching ‘Sunset Beach’.

But why’s it so watchable? (I can’t bring myself to talk about it in the past tense). Never before have I seen such a show; tediously slow moving yet where, inexplicably, so much happens in a day.

And one day on Sunset Beach generally lasts about three weeks of real time.

Continuity is non-existent and no actor is indispensable as numerous characters

morph overnight to become new people.

The acting is unbelievable. You wish that Gabby would let one little sentence flow with normal stress patterns, or Maria would wipe that inane grin off her face.

The excessive soliloquies and flash-

backs are laughable, necessary to recap the plot, which started so long ago and has become so involved everyone’s forgotten the point.

Yet despite its defects, Sunset Beach is loveable. Unlike every other soap opera there’s no semblance of real life.

You can’t relate to the characters because their lives are so unfeasibly strange. How

many people do you know whose evil twin brother kept them hostage, or who pretend to be pregnant then ask someone they hate to get a baby for them, which transpires to be the love child of their own mother and husband (everybody has or wants to sleep with, or in Beach terms ‘make love with’, everybody else), and in doing so is inadvertently assisting the separation of their parents, paving the way for the remarriage of their father to someone who is just doing it to inherit their shares in the Liberty Corporation?

And those are some of the simpler storylines. It’s pure fantasy.

Another attraction has to be the model looks of the actors, who are plastically aesthetically pleasing as only Americans can be (if you can see beyond their dodgy costumes).

So maybe in the US the show wasn’t a success. But you can’t help but admire a show that managed to insult the Catholic faith by having Father Antonio make love with his brother’s wife and then killing off the Archbishop when he found out, and still remained one of Channel 5’s most popular shows.

And just when you thought the characters’ lives could not get any worse, things started looking up and you knew

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

York Student Vision TELESCOPE 15

SIT DOWN STAND UP COMEDY Alex Watson talks to author Rupert Morgan about his novel, Let There Be Lite, and how a near death experience with James helped him write it LOTS OF people try and write novels. And lots of people like the song Sit Down by James. Until I interviewed Rupert Morgan, I wouldn’t have put money on these things being linked together.

Sit Down never seemed to inspire me

much – but then again, I only listen to it when it follow numerous other ‘Madchester’ songs (Mock Turtles, anyone?) at the Gallery. And the only thing the Gallery has ever inspired me to do is consider ending it all.

It all started with a fairly innocuous question, when I asked Morgan where the idea for the novel came from? “I didn’t actually have a plan…” he admits, “it was written by the seat of my pants! I just wrote it and hoped it would all come together. I needed something to keep it all together, and it just happened to be James’s Sit Down. I just kept listening to that song and it turned out OK…” However, if you think being inspired

by James is a bit different, when I asked Morgan whether he’d always wanted to be a writer, the answer I got was even stranger. “I always wanted to do it. I’ve tried several times over the years, but they always ran aground. The thing that sort of started this one was that I was on this plane where the oxygen masks dropped, and the plane seemed to fall out of the sky.

I’d sort of accepted I was going to die, and I was sitting next to this air-hostess who clearly thought the same thing! After that I just started writing...”

Sage advice for would-be novelists

indeed. But then, reading his debut novel, Let There Be Lite, it’s clear that Morgan is someone with a refreshingly different point of view.

Bantam Press, £9.99



LET THERE Be Lite is very funny. Not Bob Monkhouse funny. Not, ‘oh, yes, now you point it out, that’s really clever’ funny. But properly, laugh out loud, cynically satirically funny.

At times the satire is downright malicious – but the sharper this book gets, the more justified you realise it is.

Because although it takes on everything from Michael Jackson to the US presidential election race, frankly, it’s about time. The world – and its celebrity egos – are in need of some serious deflating.

The book principally tells the story of Michael Summerday, who’s trying to get elected as President of the United States of Atlantis. Only he needs the support of John Lockes, the shadowy computer billionaire.

Meanwhile, Michael’s wife has her heart set on being vice president, only Michael already has Bob, someone who would put Dan Quayle to shame. He isn’t very bright, so he has to be eliminated.

Washed up journalist Macualey Connor has been commissioned to write a biography of the real John Lockes (whoever he is), whilst George is just a bank clerk. Only he’s caught in the middle of hostage situation. And everyone from the FBI agents (who’re worried about their job safety) to the gang members (who want to save their money in the bank they’re robbing) want his help.

my mind.”

Indeed, some of the satire is exceedingly (and justifiably) vicious – and so the question inevitably comes up; how close

“We’ve created a system with our media where we do the utmost we can to distract ourselves from properly reflecting on life. It’s full of people with their columns who churn out all this ‘opinion’, but it’s not reflective – it’s always based on the here and the now. It’s just cannibalistic. The media tells you you’ve got to be earning a hundred thousand plus if you want this nice middle class life, and it’s just rubbish. We’re all victims of this marketing thing telling us what we need…”

Literally in fact, as he lives on a house-boat in Paris. “It’s great, and you do get an entirely different perspective floating on the edges of society.”

Its humour definitely hides something slightly disturbing (when you’ve read it,

LIGHTEN UP Let There Be Lite Rupert Morgan

the chicken on the front cover takes on a very different light indeed…), and Morgan himself seems to agree. “The thing with humour is that you can get away with

The book is well written; Morgan is a great comic writer; whilst the plot pushes on at a high enough speed, it has a sort of manic energy, so it doesn’t reach its conclusion by the straightest route.

But when it comes to comedy, the round-a-about scenic way is better. The comic set pieces - from the Hell’s Angels’s unwillingly trendy restaurant to the pot shot at Reservoir Dogs-esque crime cool,

more. There’s a liberty to it, and with this angry feeling I had at the time, I felt it was what I needed. Nothing I’d really written before had pushed that far to the limit…I took a kind of angry approach. I just didn’t care, I just wanted to write what was on

is it to reality? “Well, it’s not wild fantasy, but at the same time I don’t feel it’s depressing. There’s sympathy in there for all the characters. Most of them are totally reprehensible, but they’re not wankers. I think the book’s forgiving in terms of

BLOOMING ART Tulip Fever Deborah Moggach QPD, £6.99



AMSTERDAM IN the seventeenth century, and a tulip bulb don’t sound too promising.

However, don’t let that put you off, for this is one of the best contemporary novels I have read for some time - an unexpected literary delight. Its fine prose alternates between lively portraiture and philosophical pondering, and it succeeds in drawing you completely and wholeheartedly into a world far removed from the modern quotidian.

a boring, pompous old man, with no visible escape route. Until painter Jan van Loos arrives on the scene. Commissioned to immortalise the couple in paint, he soon finds himself observing Sophia with more than an artist’s dispassionate eye.

She sees him as a means of escape from her dull and mundane life, someone willing to live dangerously. This illicit union triggers a chain of events which leads to the disintegration of a household, as all residents become ensnared by the ever-increasing web of deceit.

Part of this painful process involves mass speculation and gambling on tulip bulbs, and some of the characters fail to reap the promised rewards of financial

Moggach maintains a fast-moving, incredibly entertaining tone throughout... you’re not bored for a second

Let There Be Lite is comedy at its best; not only is it funny, it is, as the blurb says, ‘laceratingly funny’.

Because underneath its admittedly quite sharp, prickly exterior, is both serious meaning, and a determinedly accurate attempt to de-mystify a lot of the superficial ‘cant’ that pre-occupies us. (9/10)

Alex Watson

Although dealing with moral and spiritual issues, the author maintains a fast-moving, incredibly entertaining tone throughout which ensures that you are not bored for a second. In fact the plot encompasses some fraught moments of immense dramatic tension.

The main narrative revolves around an ill-suited married couple in Amsterdam, and depicts the decaying state of their marriage with clarity and insight. Older than his wife and a well-established member of society, Cornelis is a man almost perfectly happy with his position in life.

The only problem as far as he is concerned is the empty seat at the dining-table, which should, he feels, have been filled by an heir to the family name.

Sophia is becoming increasingly unhappy and restless, feeling tied down to

security. However, this narrative thread also provides the most suspense, as Jan suffers a completely unexpected, emotionally draining setback which leads to his downfall.

You can’t help but empathise with the characters; they have appealing, human flaws and weaknesses, as they strive for something more.

Satisfaction is guaranteed right up to the final words, as the conclusion is as unexpected as the preceding events.

Cleverly crafted twists leave you breathlessly turning the pages, eagerly anticipating the next shocking revelation.

Art, Amsterdam, the seventeenth century, a tulip bulb - what more could one ask for in a novel? It certainly works for me. (9/10)

individuals, but it is hard on society… yes, some of the characters are based on real people, but I just wanted to take the piss out of some things. Like Michael Jackson and his nose job.”

So is he concerned about the pace of life at the moment – have (as the NME put it) the Met Bar and the culture of celebrity stolen our souls? “Mickey Mouse government and Big Brother entertainment, as the book says. When I dropped journalism, it was because I was just fed up of it.

There is a sense that journalism is that day… that’s all you can write about, never mind if it’s interesting.

“We’ve kind of created a system with our media where we do the utmost we can to distract ourselves from actually, properly reflecting on life. The newspapers, the media, they’re full of people with their columns who churn out all this ‘opinion’, but it’s not reflective – it’s always based on the here and the now. It’s just cannibalistic… I mean, who really has an idea of what is actually going on?

“The media tells you you’ve got to be earning a hundred thousand plus if you want this nice middle class life, and it’s just rubbish. We’re all victims of this marketing thing telling us what we need…”

Let’s just hope it doesn’t take another air scare – or worse, another song by James as good as Sit Down – to inspire him to write another novel, because I

See below for a review of Let There Be Lite

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BLACKWELL’S Book of the month

THE IDEA OF CULTURE Terry Eagleton 'Culture' is said to be one of the two or three most complex words in the English language. Eagleton's book, part of the new 'Blackwell Manifestos' series, focuses on discriminating the different meanings of culture, as a way of introducing the reader to the contemporary debates around it.

Mary Hathway

BOOK REVIEWS in association with BLACKWELL’S

UNIVERSITY BOOKSHOP, UNIVERSITY OF YORK, UNIVERSITY ROAD, HESLINGTON, YORK, Y010 5DU (TEL: 01904 432715)

York Student Vision

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

16 York Student Vision

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BERKOFF’S BITS ITS PROBABLY a good thing I spoke to Linda Marlowe before I saw her in performance. I get nervous enough before interviews anyway.

excerpts from a number of Berkoff’s plays and short-stories.

The title itself is provocative. Berkoff is not a writer often readily associated with roles for women - some indeed have accused him of being a misogynist.

Had I known I was going to speak to Marlowe feels, though, that “Because someone whose one-woman show incor- so many of his plays are so physical and porates descriptions of masturbation, have aggressive males whose own attibloody penile dismemberment and at least tudes are explored, often people don’t two faked orgasms - all in the space of notice or forget how fascinating and wellseventy-five minutes – I might well have written his female characters are”. In turn bottled it completely. she readily accepts that her intention with In the event, howthe show is in part conThe one-woman show ever, she is a sciously revisionist, to dream to interview incorporates descriptions of argue a case both for and even the most masturbation, bloody penile Berkoff as a writer, fumbling of my and also for the variety questions receive dismemberment and at least of roles and characters graciously long two faked orgasms women encompass and and enthusiastic which can be explored all in the space of replies. in the theatre. seventy-five minutes.

Although Certainly, whether she’s never been the grief-stricken but too far from our stately Clytemnestra as TV screens it is for her theatre work that she surveys the battle-field of Troy; or, Marlowe has won most acclaim – above from Decadence, Helen the rich trophyall for her near twenty-five years of on-off wife who gives a hotel Bellboy a stealthy collaboration with the playwright, actor blowjob while her husband sleeps and director Steven Berkoff.

Berkoff’s writing can be compelling and It is in part as what she calls a “cele- empowering when channelled through so bration of his wonderful writing” that she energetic and skilled a performer as embarked upon her one-woman show Marlowe.

Berkoff’s Women.

Taken from Greek, Marlowe’s Sphinx Premiered last year at the Edinburgh selects a male member of the audience Festival, it brings together a series of and makes him the unlucky focus target of

TROJAN TRIUMPH Ben Hulme-Cross revels in the recent adaptation of Shakespeare’s Troilus and Cressida at The Grand Opera House

“STILL WARS and lechery, nothing else holds fashion!”cries the exuberant Matt Lucas in his night-winning performance as the fool, Thersites.

That just about summarises one of Shakespeare’s least performed plays. This effort from the Oxford Stage Company, visiting the Grand Opera House, is an adventurous interpretation with an impressive cast directed by the award-winning Dominic Dromgoole.

A simple set with a back-drop seascape of Mediterranean tranquillity and a modern tower-block skyline representing the city of Troy, accompanied by Greek singing mixed with water-music effortlessly transports the audience to Homer’s Troy.

The Trojan War is in its seventh year and the directionless chaos that the war has by now assumed is reflected in the minds of the princes of Troy and Greece.

An uneasy truce allows the opponents to meet in the midst of what seems like an interminable war.

The masterstroke of this production is that to help the audience better understand who is on which side, the Trojans all speak with Irish accents.

Add to this the bullet-proof vests that pass for armour and the riot police-style visored helmets and the play is thrust into

Faye Norman Linda Marlowe, one face, many personas an aggressively savage, if very funny, tirade as in the actress’s words she “decimates men for their collusion, killing and rape and eulogises women as superior beings”.

At the other end of the scale; in the performance’s closing monologue for a moment an otherwise rather cavernous Theatre Royal provides an intimate stage for the sensitive and poignant exploration of an unnamed woman left to reflect upon an empty and loveless life.

The show is undoubtedly a tour-deforce for Marlowe as with a shift in posture and a change in the inflection of her voice she moves from character-to-character.

As for the demands of single-handedly commanding the attention of an audience for so long a period. “Initially” she says “the experience was tremendously frightening...without a cast around you, you have to learn a whole different art of theatre”.

And yet, speaking to her and watching her on stage, it is obvious that Marlowe also finds the challenge tremendously exciting too. As she herself admits, “I’ve always been attracted to the fringe: it’s more dangerous but it’s also much more exciting.”

For more information, go to w w w.

Gareth Walker

PASS THE POETIC MIC

Intrepid reporter Troy de Changier travels all the way into town to check out Open Mic night at the Border’s Café...

OPEN MIC night 7pm Wednesday at Border’s Café offers the monthly opportunity to voice your thoughts (or lack of them).

Tragically, our talented and hilarious host, local performance poet Neil Gauckwin, is moving on to pastures new.

During the change-over period, there will not be another night like this until May.

Matt Lucas a very modern context.

The state of restless peace, occasionally flaring into bloody violence, in the middle of what seems like a war, whose beginning has been forgotten and whose conclusion can’t be imagined is grimly reminiscent of Northern Ireland.

That said the script and its meaning remain unaltered by Dromgoole’s use of artistic licence. A lively cast give a colourful presentation of the potentially dreary play.

Acclaimed stand-up comedian Matt Lucas in his first stage appearance fills the theatre with the laughter, clownish wisdom and cynical commentary of the fool.

Eileen Walsh’s Cressida delivers sarcasm,

York Student Vision

childlike vulnerability and flighty female fickleness in perfect measure. Perhaps the weak link is Troilus, played by Jordan Murphy, whose performance lacks the vitality of the others.

In every other respect this is a confident, ambitious but well-balanced production of a difficult and long-winded play.

Not the evening of light-hearted entertainment that Lucas’ fans would hope for but a powerful mixture of hormones and emotions, modernity and antiquity, gravity and wit.

Ben Hulme-Cross

Unfortunately, the venue leaves much to be desired, the hole in the middle sucks the atmosphere out of it all. It’s like reading to a donut. The supply of caffeine is desirable, talking over the cappuccino machine is not.

If you’re nervous, don’t be. Russell shook like a leaf. There are always too many apologies for whatever short-comings people imagine they have, which are never the ones they do possess, so don’t apologise either. Just get up there and do your thing. Like Jon, who has a thing for volcanos and shared with us pyroclastic flows and incandescent masses of gas.

James, the conspiracy theorist, explained to us the truth was out there. John told

hilarious tales of his adventures with Fosdyke. Some poems are incredibly funny. Others earn the polite accolade of being ‘interesting’. No matter what, it’s worth checking out.

It ended at 8.30pm. This small amount of time explains why they want you to call and book a place to read.

Which leads to the question: Why has Borders changed closing time to 9pm? Is there something inherent in the concept of cafe society that prevents it from working in this country?

The new host will be Paul Sutherland, editor of the local poetry anthology,

Gauckwin

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

York Student Vision 17

FILMS Another Instant Classic Film: Being John Malkovich Cert 15. Review Out Now IT’S DIFFICULT to escape the abundance of recent articles on the Hollywood Renaissance. The media seems united in the impression that mainstream American movies are at their best since the late seventies, since Taxi Driver, Mean Streets, and Scarface.

Like those earlier masterpieces, the current crop is united by an overarching theme.

Where DePalma and Scorcesse addressed an ‘American Way’-gone-sour,, movies like American Beauty and Magnolia bring that question of identity down from a national to a local, personal level. These films are all about people discontent with their lot, unhappy with their blandness, trying to be somebody else.

Even Buzz Lightyear spends a considerable amount of time trying to come to terms with the fact that he's just another mass-produced Space Ranger.

Luckily, these instant classics rise above their maudlin, hippy undertones and treat us, the audience, with a little respect. They are smart, funny, cynical and dangerously self-mocking (See Tom Cruise's turn in Magnolia if you're in any doubt.) In other words, they aren't, thankfully, anything like The Beach.

Being John Malkovich is no exception.

Now where did I leave that wig?

John Cusack plays a mopey puppeteer who spends far too much time suffering for his art, and far too little with his wife, Cameron Diaz.

She wants kids but he, shall we say, seems paralysed by self-pity. So Diaz resorts to the love of a good monkey instead, treating a chimp as her surrogate child.

These early scenes are beautifully handled, both comic and touching, with Diaz's lonely desperation almost palpable.

Her familiar toothy beauty has been completely altered: her features are framed by a bedraggled perm, her skin shines with worry and what looks like

Clooney Hits Gold Storm Iraq with a map recently extracted from a dead man’s buttcheeks.

Along the way, they blow up a cow in an amusing way, and get tortured by a Michael Jackson fan. But the best part is Mark Whalberg’s tearful phone call to his wife in quiet suburban America while the walls of his cell collapse around him.

From a special effects point of view it’s all oversaturated colours and internal organs. The shoot-outs take place in last minute and we’re left with weird slow motion where we folsomething naive and uplifting low the trajectory of the bulwhere it should have been lets. The visual style is similar to The Matrix cruel and true.

while the surreal desert

Its greatest landscapes resemble flaw is an off-the-shelf Vanishing Point. tearful moment about Compare Three Kings three quarters of the to one of director way through: our David O Russell’s heroes, a bunch of blueprevious films, collar nihilists, gold Spanking the Monkey, thieves and part-time solthe best film about diers learn that Arabs are incest ever, and there really okay after all and that human life really is more The story is as empty is no contest. Where Spanking the Monkey is important than gold.

Yes, I cried too. Then and meaningless as horrifying, brave and deliberately confrontationI realised that I spend half Clooney’s smirk al, Three Kings is thematimy life sobbing at similar cally weak, stylish and scenes and got rapidly sexy in a posturing sort of way. bored instead.

Nevertheless, “Three Kings” is mostly Until Russell gets a little power in good stuff. The story is as empty and Hollywood and makes mainstream fare meaningless as George Clooney’s smirk: comparable to his indie stuff, Three Kings Spike Jonze, Ice Cube, Mark Whalberg is as good as you’re going to get. and Clooney hunt treasure in post-Desert Christian Bunyan

Film: Three Kings Cert 15. Review Out Now ‘THREE KINGS’ could have been a biting satire on the morality of the average American and how desperation transforms people.

Unfortunately, it chickens out at the

York Student Vision

excessive moisturiser. She is as mousey, hairy and unhappy as her husband: he just refuses to recognise it.

It's the sort of situation which demands, and receives, a spot of adultery.

Mopey Cusack gets a job in an office which, for complicated reasons, is located on the seventh and a half floor of a Manhattan tower-block. Here he meets Maxinne, a scarily beautiful femme fatale. Cusack, in need of a little discipline, instantly tries to spark an affair.

Naturally, she turns him down. Naturally, he gets even more depressed. Naturally, he then discovers a passageway into John Malkcovich's head, hidden behind a filing

cabinet. It's at this point where events stop being simply odd and become positively bizarre.

Because I know you will go and see this movie, I don't want to expand on the precise nature of its weirdness.

Suffice it to say that John Malkovich (played by one John Malkovich) ends up having lesbian sex with Maxinne, gives up his mediocre acting career, becomes world famous puppeteer and ends up possessed by the congregation from Songs of Praise.

Try and justify that last statement and you've justified a film which escapes conventional interpretation.

To put it more succinctly, Being John Malkovich isn't a film that makes sense.

You wouldn't really expect it too, though: it's got Michael Stipe on the credits as executive producer.

Having said this, it follows in the tracks of true weird genius by building an internal, free-standing logic which seems perfectly reasonable while your actually sitting in the cinema.

The cast turn out uniformly superb performances, with special honours going to my man in the title.

I've always been pathetically grateful for John Malkovich's existence: the rewind button on my video owes its poor health to Dangerous Liasons. In fact, I put Malkovich up there with Terrance Stamp on my list of old, ominous actors who only ever turn in one performance: themselves.

Why don't they work more?

Christian Bunyan

A Great Night’s Viewing

Philip Diamond takes a look at video’s out to buy soon.

WHEN IT first came out last summer Human Traffic was acclaimed by many as “The last great film of the nineties.”

Despite this, few people actually went to see it when it was first released.

It will soon be available on video and it would be criminal to miss it the second time around. Human Traffic is what the nineties youth scene is about, in a

convenient ninety minute sitting. The film follows the lives of five individuals during a mad drug-fuelled, clubbing weekend. It’s easy to watch and incredibly funny; has a thumping soundtrack, great acting and inspirational directing.

More importantly, in a way that only the British cinema seems capable, it creates real people we can relate to.

Watch it; and after its finished get your friends together and go clubbing.

PERSONALLY I’M not a Chucky Fan.

I’ve only ever seen the first one. That was a horror film; this one seems to have departed from the horror genre into near comedy.

Maybe the writers realised that a doll simply isn’t scary and if they had attempted horror they would just have been laughed at.

Bride of Chucky just doesn’t take it-self seriously and even goes as far as to

mock the previous Chucky instalments, “Forget the knife it’s so 80’s, kill with some imagination.”

Yet it works. I found myself laughing throughout, sometimes at it but most of the time with it. I’m not saying it’s an all time classic, I’m not even saying its a good film; but if you’re in the mood for a silly, fast and funny film you won’t find better outside the Evil Dead films.

Strange Happenings Film: Whatever happened to Harold Smith?

Cert 15. Preview WHATEVER HAPPENED to Harold Smith? Starring Michael Legge, Tom Courtenay, Stephen Fry, Lulu, John Craven.

What happened? That’s a fine question indeed. One minute he’s a neglected, sad and lonely looking father with a randy wife (Lulu) chasing after his son’s best mate; the next, the messiah. A bit of a turn up for the books, to say the least.

On the whole, this film is definitely worth seeing; it isn’t going to tax you and it is not going to make you utterly depressed like some British ‘comedies’ do. But, it can be a little crude, much in the same way as There’s Something about Mary. Redeeming features are there though, and predictably, they come in the form of Stephen Fry, who actually seems to remove himself from playing himself, and shows that he can actually act, and make it a funny role.

Bad wallpaper, clothing and hairdo’s aplenty, and the same can be said for some of the plot…bad, that is. As it becomes increasingly bizarre, and tortoises called Nobby start to float around the God-like Harold Smith, you can’t help laughing, and wondering at the same time what the hell the screenplay-writer was taking when he wrote it.

The acting is at times dubious, but with Michael Legge, playing Harold Smith’s son Vince, the balance between sentiment, schmaltz, and comic value is never fully realised, but there are genuine moments when you are pleased that you turned out to watch it.

Ann Smith

CINEMA INFORMATION ODEON CINEMA Blossom Street, Micklegate Booking Line 01904 623287 WARNER VILLAGE CINEMAS Clifton Moor, York Booking Line 01904 691199

SITES AND SOUNDS www.odeon.co.uk A great site for advance bookings or just a bit of information on current relases. www.mediatrip.com/cgi-bin/ filter/ lucas/lucas Very funny video site showing us how Lucas got the inspirtaion for Star Wars. It plays straight from the PC but you’ll need ear phones. www.eviloverlord.com/ For all those who wondered why the bad guy never won in Bond films - unmissable

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

18 York Student Vision

MUSIC

LIVE Artist: Dr John Venue: York Barbican Centre Date: 24th February 2000 “EVENING FOLKS, we’re from Louisiana” announces the drummer. And so too, of course, is Dr. John.

When the man himself arrives on stage, he is dressed in a white suit and matching trilby hat which scream ‘70s pimp’. Leaning on his silver-tipped cane he limps with one leg - but the other shuffles and kicks in time to the beat. He reaches the piano, sits down, takes a moment to grin and direct a rusty, cigarette-soaked chuckle at the band: and then we’re off.

From a high-school rhythm-andblues band in the 50s, to leading session musician in the 60s (via the stray gunshot which, hitting the Doctor’s left index finger, enforced a switch from guitar to piano); to the blend of New-Orleans funk and psychedelia which brought him fame in the 70s: the Doctor’s life-story reads something like a history of rock-n-roll.

Now he’s back with, of all things, an album of Duke Ellington standards. It’s effortlessly mellow, yet shot through with the darkness of a man who has been to the very edge, and survived to tell the tale.

Quite possibly the last white man left who can tell his audience “hope you dig it” without obvious irony, the Doctor is far from a licensed medical practitioner (although for the best part of three decades he prescribed himself a diverse range of pharmaceuticals) He is, however, an authentic New Orleans voodoo witch-doctor. By the forth song he takes a pause and leans back from the piano, shaking a rattle and clicking his fingers to summon the groove.

And what a groove it is. Dr. John’s voice alternately whispers and growls, but always with the same crackling smoothness. And whether pounding out the boogie-woogie which opens his set, or teasing out the melody of a jazz standard that was old when his grandfather was: his piano-playing, acknowledged as the best in the business, is incessantly funky. Of course, for the ‘Night Tripper’ it is perhaps just another town, another show. And the Barbican feels altogether too big, too clean – better some corner of a bar down a New Orleans side-street, or else the porch of some cabin deep in the bayou.

Still when he finally leaves the stage, this time the Doctor is swinging his cane and now both feet are kicking to the beat, as several hundred of the middle-aged are dancing like they haven’t for half-a-lifetime. Another house call has been made, and we’re all cured. Gareth Walker

Inuit for the Money Alex Watson talks to Bellatrix, the darlings of NME and Melody Maker, about life at the top I REMEMBER sitting in my friend’s room, listening to Radio 1, when the Stereophonics came on. Again. My friend turned to me and said, “I remember when I was the only person in the whole country who liked the Stereophonics. When they were my band”…

Writing at the moment, Bellatrix feel a bit like that; frankly, if there’s any justice in this world, in a year or so, Bellatrix (like previous Fibbers alumni Travis) won’t need to play small gigs like this.

But for the moment however…

Seeing Bellatrix play at such a small venue is fantastic. It’s the only time I’ve been in Fibbers and actually seen the crowd move. Really move. Talking to lead singer Eliza confirms their love of playing live; “I love it, I love touring. This is what it’s all about really, taking the music out there, communicating with people, and getting to them here (she points to her heart). It’s what we want to do.”

In fact, at Fibbers, towards the end of the set, it really did seem like complete and utter glee. And that maybe, just maybe, that ideal of The Stone Roses – that the crowd and the band and the music are one was realistic.

In fact, that Bellatrix really want to play music, and want to be stars is something quite refreshing; it’s not the sheer ‘we can’t wait till we get our free passes for the Met bar’ yearning of all those plastic pop groups, and it’s not sullen indie

Bellatrix: They really do look like York Students pretence either – despite the fact that they’re signed to the almost legendary ultra-indie Fierce Panda label (who released, among other things, a single of Noel and Liam arguing. Wibbling Rivalry, apparently…)

Although “initially” Eliza says, “the plan was to sign for a major label, but it didn’t turn out to be what we wanted to do. They’re wanted us to be something we’re not, like a ‘girl band’… On Fierce Panda we’ve got the freedom to do what we want to do, sound how we want to sound.”

Bellatrix – in some form or another – have released stuff in Iceland, a place that the music press either views as a) Weird, because Bjork comes from there, Or b)

Double Act: Not Ben and Jason Donovan

LIVE Artist: Ben and Jason Venue: York Barbican Date: 24th February 2000 Ben and Jason are, without doubt, one of the best bands around in Britain today. Their music is sublime, achingly haunting, emotional, extreme and yet entirely sympathetic.

We here in York should have been

York Student Vision

humbled that they would grace us with their presence.

We weren’t, of course. The gig took place in the Barbican Centre, a very large, all-seated venue that smells distinctly of the nearby swimming-pool.

They were also playing to the wrong audience: the besuited thirty and forty somethings were there for Dr John, not some twee alternative band from Camden. Finally, they were on at the wrong time: they came on stage at 7:45pm whilst the balding businessmen were still finding their seats.

Ben and Jason overcame these prob-

Weird because Blur go there to listen to obscure American lo-fi records.

So what’s the music actually like?

Eliza is pretty enthusiastic; “It’s a much smaller scene. All the bands know each other. But it’s really hard to actually make a living of music over there, so we had to come to the UK really, if we were serious about it.”

“It gets quite poppy in Iceland.

They’re like ‘everyone loves us anyway, let’s just do it again’, ding-a-ding-a-ding.

You have to be pop really. There’s no other market. It’s different over here, more diverse.”

Erm, Steps? Five? S Club 7???

Eliza laughs as she answers. “They’re good! I mean, they don’t take themselves lems. They rocked. The guitar and piano of the two artists were accompanied by drums and, impressively, a double bass, creating a very tight set with songs that did not differ much from the recorded equivalents.

Ben Parker’s voice swirls, curves and encapsulates you; on stage he contorts himself so much that even if you can’t hear the pain in his lyrics, you can see it.

Highlights of the set were the three songs played from their current album, Emoticons, which included the title track and a particularly stirring rendition of the gorgeous ‘Romeo and Juliet are Drowning’, the single released earlier this week.

Before finishing with their one “chart smash” (number 77 last autumn) ‘Air Guitar’, the audience were treated to ‘Great Days’, a new song. This describes the low point in the relationship when both parties have run out of things to say but both believe that there’ll be ‘great times again’. It’s another impressive song and bodes well for the next album.

Although they didn’t realise it at the time, the olden ones in the audience were witnessing an early performance by a band that in three years time will have conquered the world.

And if that doesn’t impress them, the fact that Ben and Jason write all of Martine McCutcheon’s songs might. It’s something to wake up the kids to tell them about.

very seriously. They know what they are.

They’re just pop… they don’t try and do any more.”

However, whilst Westlife etc. aren’t trying to be anything interesting, the notoriously fickle UK music press certainly think Bellatrix can be. Has it affected them?

“It doesn’t matter, not to us. I mean, we’re very grateful, to the NME, Melody Maker, but we know that tomorrow they could write something horrible. They could start hating Iceland or something.

They could be like (laughing) ‘Take them away, all of them, Go away Iceland people!’ We’re just here to have fun and play music.”

Bellatrix as they currently are – a five piece – have released several singles, and their album is coming out later this spring.

Although they laugh and joke on stage, and although their songs, for the most part, are gloriously poppy, there’s a real serious work ethic behind it all.

“It’s harder here”, Eliza admits. “In Iceland, we’d go in to the studio, and be like ‘ding-a-ding-a-ding’ (she strums, grinning cheesily). Then ‘That’s great, let’s go to the pub!’ But here, it’s really hard work. Here we play. And then no!

Again, again, again.”

“Ten years from now, looking back, is there anything you would really like to have done?” I ask. Seriously, she answers.

“That we took the chance and went for it.

That people appreciate our music.” www. bellatrix.co.uk

SMASHING PUMPKINS COMPETITION

THOSE CRAZY mellon collie kids have got over their infinite sadness to realise a Siamese Dream of theirs - the new album MACHINA/the machines of God. HMV and HUT Recordings are giving away an exclusive 5 track CD of previously unreleased material to the first 10,000 punters bursting through their doors to purchase the new release. But why queue when we could give you one?

Question: How many fingers am I holding up?

(Don’t be fooled, it’s that easy) All entries to be emailed to: vision@ york.ac.uk

Tom Smithard

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

York Student Vision MUSIC 19

Don’t Drop Dem Beats THE NINETIES was a great decade for dance music, which has progressed and developed so rapidly that has formed an apparent new culture.

Dance music is accepted throughout the cultural spectrum and is starting to gain recognition ahead of the continual cynics trying to play down the dance revolution. Talvin Singh winning the Mercury Award and Basement Jaxx, Fatboy Slim, and the Chemical Brothers being amongst the nominations for the Brit Awards emphasise this.

The club scene in the UK is forever growing and competing with the opening of Home and Fabric in London, Media the weekly venue for renaissance in Nottingham and Space in Leeds.

The biggest promoter of this relatively new phenomenon in the music industry has been Radio 1. The pioneers of the weekend’s mix selector and essential selections Judge Jules, Pete Tong, Dave Pearce, Danny Rampling, and the latest recruit Seb Fontain, are huge names in the industry.

Pete Tong and Dave Pearce have their own mix albums out later this year, Seb Fontain is the weekly resident at Cream and Judge Jules has mixed the latest MOS clubber’s guide.

This year looks to continue and improve on the success of dance music.

The millennium hangovers didn’t last long as Chicane, Joey Negro, Bini and Martini, flickman, Sasha, and Yomanda all have new singles.

2 Step: The Best of Underground Garage 1999 was the year of Trance and cur-

rently the year 2000 looks destined to be the year of Garage. Garage’s popularity has excelled since the start of the year with the release of many compilations including this one.

It boasts a line-up of old and new classics mixed with a couple of commercial artists. After a first hearing you can’t help but wonder how it got credited as underground. However the CD combines soulful easy listening garage with some older classics thrown in to get your body grooving and put a cocky swing in your stride.

The compilation begins with Artful Dodger’s classic ‘Rewind’. We then move on to some of latest Garage tunes such as DJ Luck’s ‘Little Bit of Luck’ which has gained air play from Radio 1 recently and Artful Dodger’s latest track ‘Movin’ too Fast’.

Mid way Frankie Foncett throws in some old skool classics to keep the audi-

JOHN DONAGHY and Ryan Garner sit back, spark up and listen out for the big new releases.

To get anywhere in Dance, Nick knew he had to be harsh to his pupils into another state of consciousness.

Conversely my favourite tune on this CD above all others is De Ryus ‘Grass Aint Greener’ which is a soulful little number mixed with a traditional Garage beat. Overall a definite must for all Garage lovers (or not), it’s relatively new, it’s coming at ya and it’s coming fast.

CLUBBERS GUIDE TO 2000 MIXED

BY JUDGE JULES

ence’s attention. The massive 1997 tracks ‘R U Sleeping’ by Indo and ‘Spirit of the Sun’ by the one and only Lenny Fontana sends shivers down the spine.

The album then moves into more underground garage towards the end with Roy Davis JR. and Groove Chronicles.

This Compilation definitely has groove, which if you’re into garage will send you

This album is a return to material that is diverse and far less mainstream than recent releases, yet it still incorporates a significant portion of the massive House & Trance singles of late that provide a selling point to the masses. The album includes monster singles by: Wamdue Project, Artful Dodger, Basement Jaxx, Hi Gate & Paul Van Dyk amongst others.

The first CD contains primarily funky house, the sort of stuff you might hear (typically on Jules’ radio show) whilst preparing for a big night out, and it is aptly

COMING

UP...

COMING

UP...

Leeds Town &Country Prefab Sprout Sunday 9th April Tickets £17.50

The Brand New Heavies Sunday 16th April Ticket £16.00

Primal Scream 17th April Ticket £13.00

Fibbers The Fourteen Monday 13th March

Goosehorns

Friday 17th March

King Prawn

Tuesday 28th March

Scarborough Band Night Thusday 30th March

The Duchess Terrovision Thursday 23rd March

The Fall

Friday 24th March

Chumbawumba Sunday 26th March

WHAT MAKES a great band? I had been obsessing over this question for the duration of the recent Battle of The Bands competition. A competition with the aim of finding the creme de la creme of bands on campus.

The existence of a BOB competition is inherently flawed. The notion on which it is built, that the opinions of a handful of judges judging bands by strict criteria can determine which of the bands is ‘best’, is clearly ridiculous.

I do not in any way object to the

What are the weekly charts if not a giant Battle of The Bands competition? notion of the judges, after all the music industry is built around opinions. What are the weekly charts if not a giant Battle of The Bands competition? But when you buy records do you listen out for ‘technical proficiency’? Will ‘crowd reactions’ make any difference to your decision? Probably not, yet these criteria are two of those used to judge BOB. I don’t think that it is coincidence that arguably two of the most influential bands of the 90’s- Mudhoney and Mogwai- produced their refreshingly

York Student Vision

John & Ryan’s 12” Column

original take on alternative music by simply being too incompetent to imitate their heroes effectively. For example the stuttering guitar anarchy and guttural squall that comprised Mudhoney’s seminal debut ‘Touch Me I’m Sick’ was an attempted lift of the slinky R’n’B scene of the mid to late 60’s.

I am not arguing that to be musical is

entirely a bad thing. I do, however, feel that people get trapped in a tar pit of notes. Campus bands, by and large, get caught up in the music and miss the point of the great bands entirely. Innovation, more often than not, in popular (read: alternative) music comes from errors.

Within every genre there are great bands, classic groups that moved their field of music on, taking it to the next level. Is there anyone doing this on campus?

In terms of their musical prowess, the majority of the bands are, of course, very good. But ultimately what does this

titled ‘In the House’. This CD sees Jules moving back to his funkier influences, and there are some very big tracks on there that are destined to be firm dance floor favorites this year.

Other than the already massive Wamdue Project, its worth checking out Mike Delgado’s ‘Byrd man’s revenge’ tune along with, Kluster’s ‘Back to the funk’, which are both wickedly funky tracks. CD 2 progresses into Jule’s trancier territory, developing into much darker hard trance which rattles along nicely. It moves back into more melodic and emotive trance, dropping massive tunes such as Alena’s ‘turn it around’, and the awesome Mauro Picotto’s mix of CRW’s ‘I feel love.’

In general this is a good collection of what’s knocking about dance floors at the moment. It simply seems to be lacking the vital ingredient that will make it accessible and have you coming back for more.

Ryan Garner and John Donaghy

mean? In terms of the bands here in York it means they do a damn good job of imitating their heros. The bands sound exactly as they ‘should’. The sad thing is with imitation comes, inevitably, dilution. Who would be screaming for Bush in a fight between them and Nirvana?

Too many of the bands are willing to settle for a sound that slots in nicely to easily definable criteria. It is sad that the judging at BOB encourages this.

One of the criteria that is judged is indeed ‘originality’. It seems bizarre to me that most bands will go to the effort of filling the venue with their mates to impress the judges, but not bother doing anything exciting with their music.

There is hope. There are people who are willing to take a chance, and it is because of the existence of bands like them that a BOB competition here will always have a place in my heart. The crazy-ass time signatures and ear splitting mayhem of The General Lee. The beautiful vocal harmonies and half Sleater Kinney angles, half Palace Brothers calm of Heroic Trio.

This year’s BOB winners’ [Beyond Redemption] decision to incorporate Satan’s own Organ of The Apocalypse took them above the competition. Their ability to a make a gimmick more than an irritating novelty sets them apart from the majority of their peers.

I appreciate the need for a ‘result’ in the competition, and as such can understand the need for criteria. I do, however, feel that the balance is wrong. Will changing the criteria produce great bands on campus? Probably not, but if one did form lets hope that they are not discouraged by a first round exit.

James Melley

JOEY NEGRO feat Taka Boom.

‘MUST BE THE MUSIC’ JOHN: This is a reworking of a previous club classic ‘Keep on pushin’ by Z Factor. Well what can I say about this other than the fact that it is an absolutely awesome Garage track, it is just so foottappingly funky. It has got such a wickedly catchy vocal hook on it.

RYAN: This will be a classic, rocking hard all the way to Ibiza. I loved Z Factor’s original ‘Keep on Pushin’ but this is equally good, if not better. This is an immensely catchy tune, if you’ve not heard it yet get your ass down to the local record shop and get spinning!

ARTFUL DODGER. Feat Romina Johnson ‘MOVING TOO FAST’ J: This is the Artful Dodger’s second offering to the charts following the massive success of ‘Rewind’, and much to my surprise it is actually rather good. In my opinion it is a far superior track to his first release. It has a really melodic and soulful vibe. Romina Johnson’s vocals sit really nicely on the Garage beat.

R: I loved it the first time I heard it. It has a soulful vibe that the Artful Dodger is so good at creating. I would definitely recommend this one, it’s going to be big and will be at the forefront of the garage movement. This will probably be more successful than ‘Rewind’; more importantly it will firmly continue the success of the mainstream Garage revival

CRW . . . ‘I FEEL LOVE’ J: I heard this trance tune some months ago and I absolutely loved it on my first listen. This record has been knocking around on different labels for absolutely ages, and finally it has been given a proper chart release. The best mix on the single is the Mauro Picotto one, it’s got a throbbing bassline that builds and cascades effortlessly into enchanting breaks.

I would recommend that everyone gives this a listen regardless of whether they like trance or not.

R: This little melody is one of the best trance tunes I’ve heard in a long while. It has been playing in clubs for a while now and the reaction is devastating.

There’s no reason why this can’t be as big as ATB ‘Til I Come’ was this time last year. It has great build-ups and awesome breaks which give trance that emotional feel that everyone has grown to love.

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

20 MUSIC York Student Vision

News, Views, Reviews

Artist: My Life Story Title: Joined Up Talking Released: Out Now

MY LIFE STORY have been skirting the British music scene since 1993 spreading their vibe through acoustic, orchestral numbers backed by glossy production values.

Behind the glitz is Jake Shillingford - on a mission “to introduce expansiveness back into music.” The singer/songwriter in question has put together 12 new tracks on this, the bands third album.

Unfortunately for us, Shillingford is not greatly talented in either of his two vocations of singing or songwriting and ‘Joined Up Talking’ is pretty average fod-

der.

The album begins with ‘Empire Line’, a tame piano number which neither shocks nor surprises. The more upbeat and memorable ‘If You Can’t Live Without Me Then Why Aren’t You Dead Yet?’ and ‘It’s a Girl Thing’ follow but its not until track 6 that a real tune kicks in.

‘Walk Don’t Walk’ is the first single from the album and is a deliciously smooth ditty which explores the timelessness of lost love. Shillingford’s lyrics let us down though - the line ‘Now the baby’s cold and hungry/She didn’t even feed the tamagotchi’ spoils the mood like a mobile phone going off in a meditation class.

‘The New New Yorker’ valiantly attempts a satirical dressing down of modern life but ‘Neverland’ and ‘Stalemate’ don’t impress much and the record needs a big finish to salvage some pride.

‘Two Stars’, loaded with plinky pianos and soaring string arrangements, is a good effort at epic closure but overall one is left with a niggling feeling that the 12 tracks don’t carry much communal weight. If you get a fix out of four minute acoustic pop then you could do worse.

There’s nothing offensive on Joined Up Talking, but My Life Story are little more than your middle-of-the-road, humdrum, four-piece outfit.

Dave Maclure

Jon Spencer Blues Explosion Re-released

HAVING RECEIVED a veritable haul of Blues Explosion on re-release I felt it about time the world knew the name Jon Spencer.

After a long and semi-successful tenure as leader of scuzz-rock heroes Pussy Galore, Jon Spencer took his antirock vision and hooked up with guitarist Judah Bauer and drummer Russell Simins to create the scuzz-blues trio the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion.

Postmodern to the core, this is an ironic name; little of what this band plays resembles standard blues. There is, however, a blues feel to what they play, meaning that in many instances they appropriate aspects of the blues (very often cliches) and incorporate them into their anarchic, noisy sound.

The Blues Explosion’s “breakthrough” came when they began to sound like a ‘70s rock band. With the release of Extra Width in 1993, Spencer and Co. actually got some air time on MTV’s alternarock show - 120 Minutes with the video for the song “Afro.”

The most noticeable change was the new emphasis on tight songs, funky backbeats, and loads of catchy riffs and hooks. As for Spencer, he was now singing like a grade-Z Elvis impersonator, but in turn lost some of the condescending attitude.

Live, the band was (and remains) quite a show, generating the kind of sweat and excitement that became anathema to many punk and post-punk bands.

Orange, which is even more accessible than Extra Width, netted the band even more fans upon its release in 1994; 1996’s Now I Got Worry and 1998’s Acme were also successful. Still, there is an argument to be made that despite his hip credentials, Spencer is more style than substance.

Love him or loathe him (and it’s easy to do both), he’s a force to reckoned with.

TN

Exploding onto the scene - again

Artist: The Cure Title: Bloodflowers Released: Out Now

HMMM, SUSPICIOUS. An hour ago I was suffering like a bear with a sore head. Now, after one paracetamol with doves on everything seems well... lovely.

I’m punching the air to an imaginary

‘ONE LAST time before its over’ – Robert Smith’s unmistakable voice soars above the music, could this be the last Cure album?

Smith has been making music under

the name The Cure since 1976, yet his claim that Bloodflowers is their ‘most perfect’ album can not be dismissed.

Dark, ambiguous, passionate but unmistakably full of soul.

In the 80’s The Cure produced a more commercialised sound, tailoring themThe Cure for all ills, selves to public demand. This album or just for President? reflects their realisation that this is unnecessary, they are The Cure a band that has though he may burst into tears at any influenced a generation of performers. moment.

Perhaps this album will not be converting The album moves from moods of new fans but it will certainly earn the fragility to great strength and back again.

The stunning keyboard introduction to respect of existing ones.

Smith’s words and music are intro- ‘The Loudest Sound’ exemplifies this; it spective and very much looking back- starts with dreamy long notes and moves wards, questioning when the end will into a sharp defined refrain. come and lamenting that the past can’t be The album title track ‘Bloodflowers’ changed. It becomes apparent why the powers lies in its defiance, it as though he cover includes a Tennyson quote ques- is really trying to leave us a part of himtioning the ‘tears from the depth of some self; he gives us his ‘flowers of blood’, he divine despair’ that Smith’s words and music shares his pain to try and create something gather when ‘thinking of the days that are no are introspective and very powerful enough to more’. much looking backwards, not just fade and die.

‘Out of this World’ There are distinct questioning when the end stands out as the lyrical hints that whether this is the last album will come and lamenting ‘anthem’ of the album; it mixes sad The Cure produces or that the past can’t be beauty and dread not, Smith is very painabout passing time. changed. fully aware that he is

coming to the end of something. The depth of his emotions is Musically this album is not particucarried by his voice, particularly in ‘The larly progressive, however it is very defiLast Day of Summer’ with its stress on nitely representative of The Cure at their how it ‘used to be’ and the haunting most stunning and Smith’s lyrics are powerful enough to haunt us for generations. refrain of ‘39’, ‘The Fire is Almost Out’.

The album takes us on an emotional However, perhaps this is the reason they journey into Smith’s past. He makes us may be forgotten? feel and question as he looks back with longing; in ‘There is no if’ the emotional Kate Wallis tension in his voice is so great it is as

Fantastic Voyage

Artist: LTJ Bukem Title: Journey Inwards Released: 27th March 2000 TO BE honest I was excited at the prospect of this album arriving.

The Suspended Space E.P. had given me a taste for a sound that my ears were very pleased to savour.

For many, the name LTJ Bukem is synonymous with the drum and bass scene. His track ‘Logical Progression’ and the compilation album of his Good Looking record label of the same name defined his famed mix of relaxed melody with the frantic tempo of drum and bass.

I was not however quite expecting the sheer amazement I found in the rich flavour of his debut album Journey Inwards.

It is nothing short of inspired spanning two CD’s of faultless thought and dedication to making sweet music.

You expect a drum and bass album, and it does not disappoint showing undeniably the LTJ Bukem sound of Logical Progression and Mystical Realms. But in this melting post is something you’d expect Herbie Hancock to have a hand in, something soulful and cleverly construct-

York Student Vision

Journey Inwards has the vigour and the feel that got lost in the indulgence of the seventies and overproduction of the eighties. ed as a piece of music but also as a track to dance to, something to feel.

The amazing thing is the sound of it all, cleanly executed and logically structured, but with the groove of real musicians and rich orchestrations.

This is an album of opposites living harmoniously, high tempo drum patterns

Singles Bar

slide along acoustic double basses and hugely complex acoustic drum arrangements fit in perfectly next to sequenced digital incidentals.

I’m hugely glad that all those clubbers who relish in ridiculing jazz and classical music as redundant will have to eat their words.

Journey Inwards is the testament of the man who brought drum and bass to the global scene and yet the album is both jazz and classical stripped of all its pretension and exclusivity and laid bare as a process, a movement of beats.

The first tracks on the first CD have finally given me faith in the future of jazz music, post-fusion but still sporting its names: Watercolours and of course Journey Inwards. But no ludicrously long solos, just totally and I mean totally beautiful music.

Now, Bukem is no Miles Davis and it would be wrong to confuse his influence with his sound, and yet Journey Inwards has the vigour and the feel that got lost in the indulgence of the seventies and overproduction of the eighties.

It is instead the view of a musician creating something that is every part of his energy and vision onto an album, and if that person happens to be someone of this talent then of course it’s amazing.

Steve Haines

beat as I descend into my usual haunt, the Singles Bar. “Yeah” I hear somebody shout as I near the bar.

Somewhere in the serotonin stirs a memory, I’m thinking Gary Numan but it turns out to be the improbably named P’r Wikstein from the Wannadies. “Sorry mate, I thought you were somebody else” - someone better and more original, ooh catty!

A low growl from a black-clad stranger sends my heart into palpitations. ‘Kill All Hippies,’ he barks through bared teeth.

“That’s Primal Scream,” the barman whispered later, “they’re so hard now they don’t even need vowels.” If they’ve changed their tune of late it’s only to realise their dark potential.

My head’s spinning and I need to sit d o w n .

Chicane helps me to my chair, supported

by Bryan Adams.

‘Don’t give up’ he croons, but I can hardly hear the Canadian now. Chicane’s brilliant tune seems to be bringing me up...

I ‘Slip into Sound’ with The Marbles, which is useful, because I’m losing mine. The Dum Dums and Southern Fly compete for my attention to make a persuasive trio with ‘Everything’ and ‘Maybe it’s the Right Time’.

I don’t know whether those speckled painkillers had anything to do with it, but these sounds, familiar as they might be, are great!

I’ve now got a jaw like Popeye on Prozac and my head is very, very hot. I’m getting breathless and nervous and for some reason I feel like my tongue’s got a life of it’s own and for some reason it can only conspire against me to drivel at its nearest audience.

‘ForgiveMe’ I gush, perching wideeyed on the seat opposite a man very much looking ‘the part’. It came as a surprise therefore when he introduced himself as

LyndonDavidHall. Is this man so smooth that his very name takes your breath away? Or is he as wired as I am? I had to find out.

T h i s man’s vocal

TN

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

Hit the spot

GraduateBase The on-line recruitment system for graduates

www.graduatebase.com

22 SPORT York Student Vision

The Cutting Edge Roller-blading is really catching on at York - you just may not have noticed yet. Stuart Emmerson found out more...

MORE PEOPLE roller b l a d e than you think. It’s just that many don’t come out until after dark. Night time offers a safe haven when practice can take place without school kids denting your confidence with cries of “my grandad’s better than you!!” I know because me and a few mates do exactly this. There is however another method of improving your blading technique and that’s by joining the roller-blading club. I met with the unofficial club president Stewart Bryce to chat about this relatively new organisation.

The club trains on a Thursday morning from 10am to 11am in the minor hall at the Sports Centre. The sessions were originally designed to help beginners learn basic techniques. However, lack of

Time

Event

12.03.00

Ski

04.03.00

Canoe

16.03.00

Waterpolo

8.45am 11am 11am

12pm 2.30pm

Badminton Rugby 7's

3.00pm

Rugby 7's

3.30pm 2.00pm

Rugby 7's Badminton

4pm 4.15pm 4.30pm

Karate Rugby League Indoor Hockey

6pm 7.30pm

Swimming Darts Darts Pool Pool

10am 10am 10.30am 10.30am 11am 11am

Lacrosse Cricket Hockey 5-a-side 5-a-side Rowing

Location

Points

Mixed 1 Mixed 2 Women's Polo Slalom

Rossendale Rossendale Rossendale Salt Ayre River Lune Salt Ayre

4 2 4 4 4 4

Lancaster Golf Club Cricket Bowl

4 4 4 2 4 2 4 4 1 1 1 2 2 4 2 4 4 2 2 1 1 4 2 2 2 2

Friday 5th May

1pm

6.00pm

Team

Pre-Roses

Golf Cricket Riding Riding Squash

equipment and space inhibits more radical kit. This shortage of facilities is preventstuff and the session is basically about ing the fulfilment of undoubted potential. “having a laugh.”

It also requires a keen group of first years The club also has a strong roller to get involved so that forward steps can hockey contingent, who represent York in be taken. Anyone interested in the club in various tournaments. should contact The last roller hockey The only damage rollerb- Stewart on sb138 or tournament was down to turn up to one of in Warwick where the laders are likely to cause is the sessions. club came a respecta- to themselves and that’s by H e ble third place - quite informed me that an achievement since ending up in the lake after roller blading is they had to borrow a a miscalculated turn or banned on campus keeper off another and remarked that jump team. this discriminated The lack of a against bladers. keeper highlights a few of the problems “Bikes are far more dangerous, and yet the club is facing. The club requires soci- they are allowed everywhere other than ety status to receive an equipment budget covered walkways”. This seems a fair from the SU. To achieve this it requires a comment. However whenever any rollerfew more regular paid up members. bladers decide to ignore this rule, they are In the meantime they have to put up chased down like armed criminals by with having no goals, and no goal keeping University staff until caught.

Men's Men's 1 1 2 Men's 1 Men's 2 Women's Women's 1 Men's 3 Women's 2 Men's 2 Women's 1 Men's 1 Men's 1 Men's 2 Men's 1 Women's 1 Men's 2 Women's 2 Men's Women's Men's Women's

Squash Courts Squash Courts Squash Courts Main Hall Rugby Pitch 2 Rugby Pitch 1 Rugby Pitch 2 Rugby Pitch 1 Rugby Pitch 1 Main Hall Main Hall Minor Hall Rugby Pitch 2 Main Hall Main Hall Main Hall Main Hall Swimming Pool Pendle Pendle Lonsdale Lonsdale

Saturday 6th May Mixed Mens 2 Mens 2 Mens 4 Mens 3 Novice 4 W Novice 4 Senior 4 W Senior 4 Senior 8 W Senior 8 Mixed 2 Women

York Student Vision

Shale Bowl Astroturf Main Hall Main Hall John O'Gaunt John O'Gaunt John O'Gaunt John O'Gaunt John O'Gaunt John O'Gaunt Wigan Wigan

4 2 2 1 1 2 2 4 4 4 4 2 4

An over-reaction? Well probably. The only damage rollerbladers are likely to cause is to themselves and that’s by ending up in the lake after a miscalculated turn or jump.

The winter generally confines blading to indoors since the wet weather is not conducive to blading. However the summer term will soon be here which will allow more blading to take place in the alfresco and provide more opportunity for street style blading.

Thus after a winter of covert practice \around areas such as Alcuin, an unaccountable contingent of secret bladers will hit the uni grounds...but if they’re anything like me move out the way when you see them coming cause I haven’t quite figured out how to stop yet!

he ule T Roses 2000 Sched 11am 11.30am 12pm 12pm 12pm 12.30pm 1pm 1pm 1pm 1pm 1.30pm 1.45pm 2pm

Fencing 5-a-side 5-a-side Rugby Union Hockey 5-a-side 5-a-side Tennis Archery Netball Hockey Rugby Union Sailing

2pm 2pm 2pm 2.30pm 3pm 3pm 3pm 3.30pm 4pm 4pm TBA TBA 4pm 10pm

Table Tennis Fencing Volleyball Netball Hockey Tennis Football Rugby Union Netball Volleyball Ballroom Dancing Korfball Parachute Jump Roses Ball

Men's Women's 2 Mens 2 Women's Women's 2 Women's 1 Mens 1 Women's

1150 tickets.

American Football Volleyball Cricket Hockey Football

11.30am 12pm 1pm 1pm

Basketball Ultimate Frisbee Hockey Football

1pm 4-4.45pm 5pm

Basketball VIP and Captains Awards Ceremony

Mixed Women's Women's 1 Men's 3 Men's 2 Women's Men's 1 Men's 1 Women's Men's 1 Invite Only All invited

4 1 2 4 2 2 2 4 4 1 1 2 4 2 2 4 2 4 2 2 4 0 4 4 4 4 4

Sugarhouse.

Sunday 7th May

10am 10.30am 10.30am 11am 11am

6pm

3rds Mixed 2 Men's 2 Mixed 1 Mixed 2 Women's Mixed Women's Women's 2nds Mixed 1 Men's Men's 4 Men's 1 1sts Men's

Minor Hall Main Hall Main Hall Rugby Pitch 1 Astroturf Main Hall Main Hall Tennis Courts Outside Hard-Court Astroturf Rugby Pitch 1 Wigan Wigan Wigan Minor Hall(Gt. Hall) Minor Hall Main Hall Hard Court Astroturf Tennis Courts Football 2 Rugby Pitch 1 Hard-Court Main Hall TBA TBA

Astroturf Main Hall Bowl Astroturf Football 2 Football 1 Main Hall Shale Astroturf Football 1 Football 2 Main Hall Marquee Marquee

0 0 4 4 1 1 4 4 4 4 4 4

York Leave from George Fox Building.

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

York Student Vision SPORT 23

On Target

The Archery Club have enjoyed particular success recently. Sam Macrory talks to them about their exploits both at home and in slightly harsher conditions north of the border YET ANOTHER sporting success story has sprung up from the University of York, and once again it has done so without much recognition so far.

Volleyball Club Make BUSA Final Rajini Vaidyanathan

YORK UNIVERSITY men’s Volleyball club are through to the finals of the BUSA Plate, after securing a victory in the semi finals last Wednesday.

The team faced the difficult task of an away tie at Huddersfield, but came through to win convincingly in straight sets. The final score of 3-0 (25-12, 26-24, 25-19) means the team have yet to drop a set in the competition and must now be in with a strong chance of taking the title.

The semi-final victory was particularly important as it was at this stage that the team went out last year to a side from

Opinion

DMU (Beds). They are now ready to play the finals in Loughborough on March 11th and 12th, and are looking forward to another victory.

Commenting on the performance, team member Nik Vale told Vision: “the team rose admirably to the occasion to play some excellent volleyball against one of our toughest opponents so far”.

Relishing the prospect of walking away with the plate after the finals, the men’s team are obviously in high spirits The women’s team have not been so fortunate, losing out to Oxford in the prestigious BUSA Cup two weeks ago.

by Helen Limbrick

WITH THE first ever Six Nations taking place as we speak, I ask the question “Do we need to review the laws of rugby?”

protection situation, or before long we will see the England team in motorcycle crash helmets and grid-iron grill in the next World Cup. Is the drop-goal No other worldreally worth three class team game so points? Personally blatantly has the I’d drop it altogether players ‘playing’ the or at least only referee and his peraward them for sonal idiosyncrasies. attempts behind the Professional refs attacker’s ten-metre must get professionline - and this isn’t ally standardized. sour grapes on What the postbehalf of you World Cup Rugby England supporters world demands is who were so flattenrefreshing new inteningly ‘De Beered’ in tions and resolutionsParis. and a look at the laws Equally, only the that are going to do Premiership should just that. be allowed to For starters, lineemploy full-time out lifting is no longprofessional players. er the athletic skill of Division Two, okay, perfect timing - it Our grass roots must be semi-pro. The rest looks more like should revert to nurtured afresh, and human tossing. amateur status to Surely the lifting shown how utterly crucial encourage and laws are in desperate their well being is. There restore all the tradineed of repeal. tional enjoyment is no better time to All the protection and resplendent and padding worn by begin that reaffirmation ethos of the warm, players is making the sociable clubhouse than the present sport more like a rugby. Our grass game of American roots must be nurfootball. tured afresh, and shown how utterly cru Medical research has proven that pro- cial their well being is. There is no better tective wear does not necessarily even time to begin that reaffirmation than the reduce the risk of injury. The International present.

Rugby Board (IRB) needs to review the

York Student Vision

The Archery Club has over the past year enjoyed a considerable amount of success and has been establishing itself as one of the nation’s most proficient and accurate collection of archers. Not since the days of Robin Hood and his band of merry men have bows and arrows been used with such skill and ability.

At the recent BUSA indoor championships in Bath the team finished sixth. With over twenty teams entered this was no mean feat, and with Lancaster finishing a lowly sixteenth, a positive result in the forthcoming Roses match looks likely.

Club Secretary Peter Howitt looks forward to this game with some excitement: “After the BUSA competition we are now confident of thrashing Lancaster.”

Brave words, and words which should have the archers of Lancaster shaking with fear.

The Club went on from this BUSA success to compete in the Scottish University Championship in Edinburgh on the 25th February. Brimming with confidence, and with a squad of talented archers including captain Michael Ward, Peter Howitt, Theo Misdom and Paul Rennie,

the team left for Edinburgh with high spirits.

Howitt singles out Rennie as the man to watch: “He came sixth in the individual competition at BUSA, a result he’s disappointed with. He is certainly our best archer.” Rennie’s undoubted skill should not, however, take away from the rest of the team, many of whom set personal bests at Bath.

“The archers were denied recognition and glory by virtue of not being Scottish” - Peter Howitt, Archery Club Secretary

Conditions in Edinburgh were to say the least hostile, and the York team did well to cope in unfamiliar territory and climate. “We managed to put up a good fight”, admits Howitt, and indeed, four of the talented archers of York achieved third place overall in the team event.

This, states Howitt, was rough justice.

With just a hint of controversy he feels that “the archers were denied recognition and glory by virtue of not being Scottish”. Nevertheless the team established themselves as the best in England, beating a powerful Newcastle University

team in the final, and in the England versus Scotland category further glory was achieved.

Once again it was Paul Rennie who fired himself into the headlines, shooting well enough to make up one of the four top-scoring English team members and hence ensuring a convincing victory for England.

Without pausing for rest, the squad went on to compete in the Scottish open archery competition near Glasgow and this time “performed admirably”. It seemed that the high-flying performance at Edinburgh had taken a lot out of the team.

Despite the day’s performance, Howitt confessed to have been more satisfied with the team’s Scottish tour, and “delighted that they had found colder places on Earth than the University campus”.

Next up is a trip to Bradford on Sunday of week eight for a competition against Bradford and Sheffield. The return legs are to be played at some date next term. The club meets in the sports hall on Tuesdays from 2-4pm and on Saturdays from 1-3pm.

In the summer they will be moving to the outdoor range which is being set up.

All are welcome to go along and sample this exciting and historic sport, so why not go along and give it a try.

The Path to the Plate York has an unprecedented four teams through to the final of the BUSA Plate competition. Wesley Johnson finds out who has made it there and who came close UNIVERSITY SPORTS teams have achieved tremendous success as several clubs have reached the final stages of the BUSA competitions.

The men’s hockey seconds team have taken York to the final after dismissing Stoke (Staffs) in the semis. Club president Simon Preston said: “It’s a great achievement. The team has worked hard to get here and are reaping the rewards.”

The team has built on its success of last year, when it reached the semis before being beaten by UCE. Also successful in the BUSA Plate were the squash and golf teams. Both teams have been astounded at their achievements so far and are looking forward to playing their finals.

Squash captain, Pete Bowles, told Vision: “We had a fantastic team spirit and reached the finals with convincing victories.”

The team, which beat North London College and Trinity College, Wales, in preliminary rounds, dropped very few points and are hoping to do well in the final against Sunderland later this week.

But history is against the club. Last year they lost to the Wearsiders in the semifinals, who then went on to take the plate.

Further success has come to York’s golfers, who are now set to play UW Bangor. The University’s snooker team also had a successful weekend in Birmingham at the BUSA finals.

Rich Mounce, captain of the team, said: “Despite having no full size tables on campus and receiving no funding from the AU, I managed to assemble a team to

Men’s Hockey 2nds: Want it on a Plate compete there.

“Our determination and team spirit shone through. The individual competi-

“In the first round I was drawn against Eric Lee number five seed and eventual semi-finalist.

Needless to say, he was too good for me!”

Rich Mounce, Snooker Team Captain

tion was on Friday. In the first round I was drawn against Eric Lee - number five seed and eventual semi-finalist. Needless to say, he was too good for me!

“On the Saturday it looked like we might have an early exit from the team competition after losing to Warwick and Bristol. But I then played around with the team order and, despite losing the first four frames to Ulster, we took the next six frames to win the match and reach the next stage.”

The team - Paul Channon, Brian O’Neill, Gavin Smith, Martin Styles and Rich - told Vision they were hoping to be seeded in next year’s competition.

Rich added: “I’m sure we will be back next year with an even stronger challenge, but for a first effort, we did York proud.”

He is now looking into setting up a university team to play in the local leagues next year. Anyone interested in joining should contact him via email on rm112@ york.ac.uk.

9th March, 2000 Issue 118

Vision

Sport

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The candidates for the AU Presidency give Vision the lowdown on who they are, what they’ve done and why they would do the best possible job

Owen Rodd

Si Preston

Why do you want to be AU President?

I've recently completed a year as boat club president and whilst enjoying the responsibility a great deal, I was frequently frustrated by the lack of time I had to

get all the plans I had well and truly underway. I'd like a clear year (degree in the bag hopefully) to make a dedicated impact on the AU as a whole.

I've spent the last two years involved in the AU through being on the hockey club exec and it`s something I've really enjoyed. I would like to continue,

especially on a full time basis whereby I could dedicate my full attention to the AU without having to worry about doing a degree at the same time.

What experience can you bring to the job and how will it help?

In the year prior to running the boat club I was a member of Derwent JCRC. I have experience of seeking out, securing and maintaining relations with sponsors, organising large events and dealing with the rather more mundane but necessary tasks of insurance claims and health and safety issues. As for sport, I’ve

played competitive rugby for six years, as well as hockey, cricket and tennis. I also play golf badly and football appallingly! In addition I spent a year in South Africa coaching rugby, cricket and football, and taking fitness sessions.

I've been President of the Hockey Club this year and was first team captain the year before. I'd like to think that what I've learnt in those two years would be valuable to me as an AU President, in particular communicating with external bodies and internal ones like other clubs and the sports centre. Having

been captain, I feel I can put myself across to people well in order to give the right impression. I've also had to learn a lot about adaptability and compromise that I feel would be very helpful in dealing with the AU which is not only large in size but incorporates many different people with different views.

Do you have any particular skills that you think make you suited to the AU Presidency?

I enjoy and am at my best when working with people.

Dealing with the conflicting interests that inhabit the boat club has taught me that decisions have to be

made that almost certainly won’t please everyone. I accept this and know that you have to take a step backwards occasionally to view all sides impartially.

I don’t like to say that I can do this and that blah de blah.. but I would like to think that I’m easily approachable and open to all views. I’d say I’m quite

practically-minded - I don’t like to hear ‘it can`t be done’ until every angle has been fully explored.

What are your principal ideas for taking the AU forward over the next year?

Addressing the lack of financial support the university gives sport would be a central issue under my leadership. Following my experience with Pi Technology and the boat club, I would like to help other individual clubs seek out their own source of additional support. I also recognise that this leaves smaller clubs somewhat in the lurch as they may not possess the necessary clout in terms of numbers to attract their own sponsors. Therefore, BUSA events and Roses must both be exploited to the full to present the full impact of AU activities to the university, the region

and potential benefactors. Finally, I view building a healthy relationship via single event sponsorship as an excellent route to something more permanent in the future.I believe the AU Mart has the potential to be a lot more than it is. There is no reason why the Mart shouldn’t be one of the highlights of freshers’ week.

This would provide clubs, especially the smaller ones, with an ideal opportunity to showcase themselves. I would like to see the benefits of au membership improved, using our relationship with businesses to offer more discounts in town.

Sports facilities are something that the AU is pretty much united on. There’s no point making claims such as ‘if you elect me we`ll get a new gym or a swimming pool’ but I’d certainly make sure that the University realises what a big voice we actually are.

We need to improve our internal communications so that we can act as a union on issues such as facilities - moving slickly and quickly when it is required.

Sponsorship is essential if the AU is going to move forward, but it is a learning process that must develop and so there is no point looking for ‘quick fix’

options. I want to build on what has been achieved this year. I am very interested in establishing sports scholarships. There is a scheme in the Golf Club but not much else at present. The number of universities that do it has doubled in the past five years as it offers a higher profile AU status and clubs can benefit from enthusiasm, knowledge and even coaching from the players involved. This could involve money towards sports expenses or in the form of academic flexibility, not on entrance grades but during the course itself maybe doing a 3 year course over 4 years etc.

How will you celebrate if you win?

By going home and getting a good nights sleep. I’ve got to be up at 5am next day for a Regatta in

Chester!....As for Saturday though - catch me in the Derry!

Let`s just wait and see what happens next week.

BUSA Progress Stuck in Traffic THE SUCCESS story of the university basketball team was brought to a standstill on Wednesday week 7, as a fourand-a-half hour traffic jam was to see their BUSA Shield challenge threatened, writes Greg Paterson.

The pile up on the M60 which saw the Man Utd vs Bordeaux European Champions’ League tie delayed, was to stop the team arriving until one hour after the scheduled tip off time, and five minutes after the referee had left, throwing

the match into confusion.

Sunday.

Originally it was feared their oppo- This was in a season which had seen nents Liverpool would claim the tie, but BUSA act as an obstacle to successes in after a morning of the Leeds league panic in the AU, The season has seen BUSA and cup competiBUSA confirmed tions for the club. that the tie would act as an obstacle to successes A rapid improvebe replayed. in the Leeds league and cup ment this season Liverpool were has seen the team competitions for the club given the opportusail through the nity to claim their early rounds, beathome court ing Middlesex by advantage and the match was scheduled 77 to 46 in the quarter-finals after an for Saturday week 7, with the final in equally comfortable victory over Coventry Nottingham being postponed until the in the previous round.

York Student Vision

The Leeds league contests have in the past been the domain of Halifax Heat, a team who crumbled to the mighty York in a titanic battle in week 6. Halifax though are likely to claim both competitions due to York’s cancellation of matches because of BUSA commitments.

Greg Perry added “intense frustration” of the team, as Halifax look unlikely to make any effort to rearrange the fixtures after the recent four point defeat.

If the ties cannot be rearranged the Halifax side will win by default, and a season which should have seen victory in both competitions will end up as a season

9th March, 2000 Issue 118