Issue 133

winner: best student publication on a small budget runner up: website of the year

/ NUS NATIONAL STUDENT JOURNALISM AWARDS 2001

yorkVision MONSTERS INC.

Interviews with the teams behind Monsters Inc. and Apocolypse Now Redux

Films

ROBERT RANKIN & Tony Blair both interviewed exclusively

Books

TheGuardian

Student Media Awards 2001

THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK’S INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER WWW.YORKVISION.CO.UK

4th December 2001 Issue 133

GARETH WALKER

Gives his reaction to the news of a new V-C

Comment

Langwith fall horror - Student survives 30 foot fall from third floor window

Photo: Sam Dudin

- Campus stunned as concerns centre on student welfare Tom Hazeldine A WAVE of shock and disbelief has engulfed Langwith College after a third year student threw himself from the top floor of Langwith A Block, suffering serious injuries.

His motives are of less general interest than the effects of the incident on the student body, focusing on a need to ensure that the University has the welfare mechanisms in place to deal with such traumatic events.

The Computer Science student survived the fall only by landing on a bike rack which prevented his head hitting the concrete floor.

Ron Clayton, Langwith Provost, told Vision: “He had an extraordinary lucky escape, and could quite easily have been killed. For this to have happened in the first place, he would have had to have intended to get out.”

The porter on duty in Langwith was at the scene within seconds, and began clearing the area to make room for the ambulance that had been called.

Langwith has been largely stunned into silence by the incident. One passerby, Andrew Hush, described the reaction of onlookers shortly after the event.

“There was just a mixture of shock and disbelief that this had happened. He was in a great deal of pain. The guy whose room he landed outside of was obviously very upset.”

Another witness, a first year PEP student, has told of how “Everyone saw that it was a very serious situation. One girl in particular seemed very distressed.”

The student involved is reported to be making a good recovery, though he is still

“He had a quite extraordinary escape, and could quite easily have been killed.

I have never encountered anything like this before”

Ron Clayton, Langwith Provost

in hospital and has been visited by his parents and friends.

Ron Clayton admitted “I have never encountered anything like this before. It is a one-off, and I think it blew up quite suddenly. I don’t know why he did this, and I have not yet asked while he is recovering,” he said.

Langwith JCR Chair, Mark Legg, expressed similar sentiments: “We’re all shocked, and we hope he recovers as soon as possible.”

There have in the past been complaints from students in some accommodation blocks that their windows did not open enough.

Jenna Khalfan, SU Education and Welfare Officer, commented: “This is a common thing in newer blocks, and it is obviously a security issue in ground floor rooms.

“But one reason for having blocks on windows is that accidents do happen.

This case highlights why this might be so, even though we are all responsible adults and it’s not something you usually think about.

“Facilities do differ in older blocks, and we do need to look at this in order to find some sensible imbetween.”

This incident comes only weeks after the tragic death of Zeke Hindmarsh, a first year PPE student who was knocked down and killed in a road accident following a night out at Ikon and Diva.

It has been a challenging time for the University’s welfare services, which exist to ensure that no student need suffer alone if they have been traumatised by an incident such as this.

Jenna Khalfan detailed the strong welfare system that has been developed on campus: “Any serious incident is obviously very traumatic, though this is an isolated case.

“We respond by raising awareness of relevant issues and by offering a variety of counselling options. The Counselling Service is always ready to lay on special provision. We also have information on welfare services outside of the University, because you sometimes need a little distance.”

Sue Hardman, Senior Academic Registrar at the University, also emphasised the welfare mechanisms that can be set in place “All support services are brought into play when dealing with serious incidents.

Provosts are usually involved, as well as the welfare teams in collleges. We would bring students attention to the Counselling Service, the SU, the University chaplains, and so on,” she said.

Students can call Nightline on telephone extension 3721 or 3735, or the Counselling Service on 2140.

Are these York’s most eligible bachelors?

These second year Vanbrugh hopefuls are among the candidates aiming to be added to an annual list of the nation’s 50 Most Eligible Bachelors. The list is being compiled by researchers from Company Magazine and the satellite television channel LivingTV. Talent scouts have been on the look out in the city, visiting the Slug and Lettuce bar where they picked up these aspiring young gents. The final top 50 will be announced March next year.

COMMENT 6 POLITICS 9 MEDIA 12 FOOD & DRINK 13 LIFESTYLE 14 FEATURES 16 MUSIC 22 ARTS 26 FILMS 28 BOOKS 30 WIRED 33 SPORT 34

2 : NEWS yorkVision December 4th 2001

News in Brief

ANARCHISTS GO DOWN ON COSTCUTTER A COSTCUTTER sign was taken down at their Halifax store on Friday night and amusing replaced by one saying Cocksuckers.

The action was rumoured to have been carried out by the new underground group known as the Goodricke and Halifax Anarchist Lions.

The sign was removed by the morning, with shop assisstants claiming that it had fallen down or been blown away by the wind.

QUICK! HIDE YOUR TELLY Students are warned that inspectors from the TV Licensing authority may well be calling round on campus. They do not have the legal right to enter students’ rooms without a court order.

If they are given permission to enter communal areas, they will be accompanied by a member of the University administrative staff.

Last year, TV inspectors famously barged their way into Langwith saying ‘you can’t stop us’.

Students can get around the rule by placing thier TV sets in the JCRs, a suggestion last year that this could create a sportsbar environment.

GOT THE PAINTERS IN? Residents of Edens Court have sent a written complaint to Admin about ongoing problems with their accomodation.

From non-flushing toilets and bedbugs, they go onto to condemn a upcoming painting programme. As has happended elsewhere, the students argue that but for “a few flakey patches,” the paintwork is fine.

One accomodation block is due to be painted during the January exam period.

They claim their houses “will be disrupted for at least two whole weeks,” and dismiss the programme as “absolutely needless and unacceptable.”

SITE FOR SORE EYES The current University website may be considered illlegal as of September 2002, as a result of new disability discrimination legislation. This lays new quidelines on visability requirements for people who are partially sighted.

However, Kriss Fearon, University web-coordinator claimed that there will not be any serious problems as the legislation does set specific standards but only asks for “reasonable adjustments” to be made.

VISION THANKS Firstly, a huge thanks to three behemoths of the Vision team who quit last issue: Sam Macrory, Gareth Owens, and the one-and-only Tim Dean. Also thanks as always to Lisa Dodd, to Jo Corcoran and all our regular advertisers.

Vision returns next term with three stunning new installments. Look out for a newteam and a new look!

Vision meetings take place in D/016 at 7pm every Monday.

Vision is printed by Westcountry Design and Print, Exeter

news@vision.york.ac.uk

www.yorkvision.co.uk

Your Loss, Our Problem “Yourshop is not a box office, we sell tickets on an ad hoc basis.

Some mistakes are bound to happen”

Alison Goodwin

THE RECENT BandSoc event in Derwent College was left half empty last week after YourShop mislaid about 200 tickets.

Students who turned up after 8.30pm hoping to go to ‘Warning — Live!’ were disappointed to be turned away.

The Band Soc event, showcasing live bands from around campus, was nowhere near capacity when door staff began turning people away, under the impression it was sold out. In truth, nearly half of the tickets for the event went unused.

This incident came just weeks after a ticket fraud scandal at Club D, reported in the last edition of Vision, which had led to the venue being way over capacity.

Derwent Chair Nick Besley said: “It is unfortunate that such a problem occurred and that this event suffered. I don’t doubt for a second that both BandSoc and the SU will treat the whole thing as a learning experience.”

However, he was adamant that “this hiccup” should not be seen as a reflection of Derwent’s ability to manage events: “Derwent itself will certainly not suffer we put on regular, successful, free band nights every couple of weeks, and Club D speaks for itself.”

YourShop, the Students’ Union run shop in Market Square, has only recently started offering its services as an outlet for event tickets.

The problem stemmed from a difference in the number of tickets YourShop actually sold and the number of tickets

Dan Simon, SU Services Officer

Red Shift , one of the bands that featured in the ‘Warning-Live!’ Band Soc event BandSoc were informed had been sold on their behalf. By the time the organisers realised the mistake many students had already been refused entry.

In response to the criticism that YourShop was to blame for students being turned away from a half empty event, SU Services Officer Dan Simon, told Vision: “The matter is currently being investigated, but it seems somewhere along the line Band Soc received the impression the event had sold out.

“YourShop is not a box office, we sell

tickets on an ad hoc basis and we do not charge for the service. Some mistakes are bound to happen.

“This is a new service. We have sold some tickets for other events before but it is usually about 200 that we are asked to sell. BandSoc asked us to sell 500 tickets, and we don’t know if the event would actually have sold out anyway, even if this mix-up had not occurred.

“However we are using the incident as an impetus to put in changes in procedure, such as a single point of contact for the

sale of tickets,” he continued.

Five bands played on the night, so it was not only the students that were disappointed at missing out. The band members themselves had been hoping to play to a much larger audience.

First Circle band member Paul Cosby said: “It is a shame, given that otherwise the event was very well organised, in terms of sound, lighting and performances, that so few people were there to see it.

“There were about 150 people at a venue that could have held up to 500.

Whether or not it would have sold out is not the point, it was not given the chance and it was a pity for both the students who wanted to attend and the students in the bands that played.”

York’s material guy Charity ends at home Catherine Milner

Robert Harris OXFORD Professor Brian Cantor will take over next October from Ron Cooke as York’s Vice-Chancellor.

Cooke, who retires in the summer, will be succeeded by the 53-year-old Manchester-born materials expert after holding the position for nine years.

Cantor has worked at Oxford University for 20 years and before that spent nine years at Sussex currently manages the affairs of eight departments and a budget of £75 million in his role as the Head of the Division of Mathematical and Physical Sciences at Oxford.

He is regarded as a world authority on materials manufacturing, describing himself as a “confirmed internationalist”.

Cantor’s vast global experience includes working as an assessor of scientific projects and programmes for the British, Dutch, Singaporean and Spanish governments as well as NASA. Cantor has also contributed to improvements in manufacturing a range of products, including pistons, car brakes and electrical transformers.

The Cambridge-educated new ViceChancellor has established links with universities in America, Japan, China, Korea, India and across Eastern Europe.

Professor Cantor said of his appointment: “York is an outstanding University with an excellent academic record in teaching and research. I am excited by the challenge of leading the University through its next period of development. I am looking forward to working with everyone involved.”

University of York Council Chair, Gordon Horsfield, believes York is fortunate to secure Cantor as the new Vice Chancellor, commenting: “His previous roles at Oxford in teaching, research and innovation, and as Head of one of its five

DESPITE THE recent success of ‘Liberation Week’, other charitable attempts of the Students’ Union have quite literally been binned as RAG made a blunder.

In an unfortunate incident, RAG lost a bundle of its fancy dress clothing when the items, left in a black bin liner at a memeber’s house, were mistakenly thrown away by a housemate.

When questioned about the incident by Vision, Andy Piper, a RAG member, described the story as “gutter journalism,” protesting that it had “just happened” and was “no one's fault.”

He claimed that the lost items were mainly “scrap material” and that all valuable material was “in the process of being replaced, hopefully at minimal cost.”

On a more upbeat note, the SU organ-

ised ‘Liberation Week’ of Week 7 was judged a huge success by all who took part.

It was held in order to raise awareness of some of the most pressing issues in and around campus and to publicise the services that the SU it provides.

The SU Women's Officers held a 'Reclaim the night' event involving a demonstration with torches around campus in order to draw attention to the pressing issue of women's freedom to safety on campus.

There was also a demonstration on the lack of wheelchair access around campus, with a wheelchair raleigh of SU officers.

The week culminated in traditional York style with a 'pure cheese' sell-out Liberation disco in Goodricke College, which raised £415 for future campaigns.

Ffion Evans, SU President and resident DJ for the night described the atmosphere as “fantastic” and truly liberational.

Our new VC, he came from space divisions, are an excellent preparation for the responsibilities he will assume when Ron Cooke retires next summer.

“In selecting Brian we have been very mindful of the challenges posed in continuing to develop the University’s excellent reputation which the whole team at York has worked so hard to establish under Ron’s leadership.”

Professor Cantor, who is widowed, has two grown-up sons and will move to York during the summer with his partner Gill Partridge. He enjoys mountain walking, rock climbing, playing the guitar, modern art and listening to music.

Cantor beat off stiff opposition for the prestigious post, most notably from Vision’s Chief Columnist, Gareth Walker.  Walker on the new VC — page 7

SU officers and Admin wheeling around in Computer Science

yorkVision - THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK’S INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER Editor: Tom Smithard  Deputy Editors: Adam Curran, Matt Goddard editor@vision.york.ac.uk Managing Editor: Becca Smith  Advertising Manager: Adelise Ashdown advertising@vision.york.ac.uk Web Editor: Jonathan Carr  Deputy Web Editor: Matthew Pettitt web@vision.york.ac.uk Special Projects Director: Alex Cooley projects@vision.york.ac.uk News Editors: Rob Harris, Tom Hazeldine  Deputy News Editor: Yuriy Melnyk  Politics Editor: Chris Cermak  Deputy Politics Editors: Sharif Hamadeh Acting Media Editor: Simon Milne  Lifestyle Editor: Danny Goldup  Deputy Lifestyle Editor: Naomi Jackson  Food and Drink Editor: Heather Campbell Deputy Food and Drink Editor: Roxy Warrick  Features Editor: Adrian Butler  Deputy Features Editors: Anne Hurst, Alicia Starkey Music Editor: Simon Keal  Deputy Music Editors: James Kelly, Isobel Todd  Arts Editor: Louise Burns  Deputy Arts Editor: Frances Lecky Films Editor: Paul Cosby  Deputy Films Editor: Paul Hirons  Wired Editor: Triston Attridge  Books Editor: Bev Nutter  Deputy Books Editor: Jayne Rimmer Sports Editors: Pete Dandy, Ben Wiseman  Photo Editor: Sam Dudin  Artist: Steve Pewter Opinions expressed in Vision are not necessarily those of the Editors, Senior Editorial Team, membership or advertisers. Every effort is made to ensure all articles are as factually correct as possible at the time of going to press, given the information available. Copyright Vision Newspapers, 2001

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December 4th 2001 yorkVision

Carry On Dick -York’s infamous highwayman rides again -Vanbrugh porter involved in thriller chase with parcel thief Sonia Mullett INCREDIBLE SCENES were witnessed in a dramatic chase last Friday in Vanbrugh College, as the University’s portering saga continued.

Mail has been going missing in Vanbrugh for the past couple of months.

Last week, Vanbrugh porter Dean Cockran confronted a man going though the mail, who made a break for it past Grimston House towards Market Square.

After a brief scuffle, the man escaped.

The police have been called in and are viewing the matter seriously as a case of assault.

The incident highlights wider issues that have arisen over the future of 24 hour portering.

A recent Students’ Union awareness campaign, involving people dressing up in an elephant costume, was surounded in controversy when it emerged that students had been paid to take part.

The York Evening Press ran the story, quoting an anonymous source from within the University as saying: “It doesn’t seem like much of a protest if they had to pay people to do it.”

The Evening Press went on to comment: “Students used to demonstrate at a moment’s noitce. The mere whiff of illiberality would have them reaching for their placards.”

It stated that “The fighting spirit of 1968 has been defeated by 21st century apathy.”

SU Services Officer, Dan Simon, dismissed the article as mis-informed: “The elephant was not the campaign, it was

there to raise awareness, the campaign was the hundreds of students who put their signatures to the petition.”

He went on to defend the decision to pay students for the unenviable job of staying up all night in an elephant costume, ‘raising awareness’.

“We were mandated by the UGM to invest resources in this campaign so that students would be more aware of the issue.

It’s a multi-level campaign: we need to raise awareness before we can protest, which is what the elephant achieved.”

Vanbrugh JCR Chair, Emma Powell, agreed that the idea of using the elephant costume to highlight the ‘endangered’ nature of 24 hour portering had been extremely successful.

“It went very well especially as Vanbrugh is one of the busiest colleges.

Lots of people who saw it as they passed through then went and signed the petition.

“It was probably the most effective way of raising awareness about the loss of 24 hour portering in Vanbrugh,” she said.

However, University Administration has been angered by the direction and handling of the campaign to save 24 hour portering.

Press and Publicity Officer, Hilary Layton, told Vision: “The SU has a legitimate right to campaign, but the debate should be an informed and accurate one.”

Taking issue with the emotive language of an SU petition which described the decision to axe 24 hour portering in Vanbrugh as one of “utter bastardry”, Ms Layton called for “A more intelligent debate, not one that scares people.

“Students used to protest at a moments notice. Alas, it seems the fighting spirit of 1968 has been defeated by 21st century apathy” York Evening Press

“The idea that 24 hour portering on campus is coming to an end is a red herring. No one wants to compromise student safety,” she commented.

Despite their opposition to the management of the campaign, Admin has denied responsibility for the ‘anonymous source’, quoted by the York Evening Press and maintains that this publicised area of conflict between the University and the SU does not undermine the University’s position in the wider community.

“The University works with the SU on a lot of various campaigns and issues.

There is so much that is good about this University, I don’t think this issue will discredit it at all”, said Hilary Layton.

The elephant campaign has been criticised for its lack of clarity by some students: “At first I thought it was some kind of weird animal rights protest or something”, said one bemused Vanbrugh student.

“I do think that it was a good public-

Admin and the Chocolate Louise Burns

THE UNIVERSITY is once again caught up in controversy over its ethical policies when dealing with large companies. A fresh row surrounds a deal struck with Nestle over the renaming of two lecture halls.

The controversial multinational has provided funding for the refurbishment of these halls, in exchange for them being renamed after Henri Nestle and Joseph Rowntree.

This has raised concern due to the fact that the company is famous for more than its chocolate, with a sinister reputation and dubious history that speaks for itself.

The most famous incident regards Nestle giving free baby milk substitute to third world countries. This led to children rejecting their own mothers’ milk, and, unable to afford the Nestle substitute, being left starving.

A lack even of clean water to make the milk substitute resulted in further health risks. The World Health Organisation estimates that practices such as these have led to the death of 1.5 million infants.

Nestle’s employment of young children has also sparked world-wide condemnation. The BBC estimates that 10,000 children have been shipped to work on the ivory coast to work on cocoa production. Workers are treated badly, and are unable to work for themselves.

Incidents such as these have led students to question the ethics and morals of their University, and to wonder if it has

Row surrounds deal struck with Nestle over the renaming of two refurbished lecture theatres

Nestle’s controversial baby milk is aggressively marketed worldwide been tainted by the actions of the company with which it has close links.

YorkLEAF told Vision: “We resist the urge to criticise those who accept their sponsorship, because faced with such an offer and in need of the money, it is a rather inevitable position to be in.”

However, they believe that this sponsorship and other charitable work is used to detract attention away from scandals such as that seen with the baby milk in the third world.

The use of logos has also proved a sore point, for they feel that it is unnecessary to have the Nestle brand plastered over whatever they have given financial aid to. The only way to help to avoid situations like this may be to buy fairtrade chocolate.

A proposed £7,000 donation to the SU from Nestle reported by Vision in May last year collapsed. An offer of ‘branded sponsorship’ whereby one of their products would be prominently displaced on

NEWS : 3

an SU service failed to materialise.

The University has an alternative view on the situation, due to a traditionally strong relationship with Rowntree since the University’s foundation, when the original Quaker family was one of the most supportive in the city.

These strong ties have continued to the present day, despite Nestle’s takeover of Rowntree in 1988. A represntative of Admin commented: “The baby food scandal was connected with the international division of the company, an area with which we have no contact.”

Therefore, the idea that the University should just abandon its long history with Rowntree is simply not palatable to either side.

Instead, it seems important to remember that York as a city has developed with the help of Rowntree, and it is unlikley that these links will be broken despite the company’s merger with Nestle.

The SU elephant taking a break from its campaign to save 24 hour portering ity stunt, although I probably couldn’t tell you much about the issue itself .”

The SU though are satisfied with the feed back that they have had from students, and are now shifting the emphasis from student awareness to raising con-

cerns among the parents of those who live on campus.

Emma Powell, Vanbrugh JCR chair, said: “All the colleges are co-operating with each other and we are planning to ask the students if we can write to their parents

Library is fun Claire Coady THE JB Morrell Library has decided to extend their weekend hours, from 11am to 6pm on Saturdays and Sundays, starting next term.

They will also be introducing full issue desk services on Sundays, new library supervisors for the weekend, and Saturday openings over the Easter and summer holidays.

Wayne Connelly, Head of User Services in the library, has confirmed these changes, saying: “We will be changing our hours from the beginning of the next term. We will be publicising the changes widely over the next couple of weeks.”

He added that their reason for not publicising the changes earlier was because they are still in the process of recruiting staff to work on the weekends.

The changes to library opening hours and services were the result of a general review carried out over the course of the past year.

A survey of students’ opinions conducted by JB Morrell Library found that the main grievance among undergraduates were the earlier closing time on Saturdays and the lack of user services offered on Sundays. Postgraduate students were frustrated with their inability to access the library on weekends over vacation periods.

The new developments will bring even more opportunities for students to check out their fresher targets and sample the delights of the audio-visual room.

An official statement released by the library at the Students’ Union General

Another unsuspecting fresher prepares to check out the library’s goods

New developments will bring more opportunities for students to check out their fresher targets and sample the delights of the audio-visual room Meeting last week said that the decision to carry out the general review was arrived at after there was “Some dissatisfaction with opening hours amongst students, from course committees and in a series of articles printed in Vision during the last year.”

Postgraduate and other students’ complaints about lack of access to the library over the holidays, and frustration among students about the lack of Sunday services also prompted the review.

It revealed: “Almost half the enquiries received during the evenings and on Saturdays relate to the loan of books and records of loans, and experienced staff are generally not available to deal with them.”

It was pointed out in the statement that the number of people in the library on weekend nights was substantially fewer than the amount of people present on weekday nights.

However, the review repeatedly emphasised that “Increasing evidence of students’ dissatisfaction with opening hours,” was disturbing enough to provoke the changes that are set to be implemented in the coming weeks.

Mr Connelly went on to say: “We are optimistic that the changes we are making will have a real benefit to all students.”

The statement added that the levels of use of the library and opinions of students will be monitored over the next year to ensure that the changes are advantageous to library users. Extending weekday evening hours will be reconsidered in 2002-2003.

2 YORK VISION NEWS

Campus bars

Campus players

ALCUIN Colder than ice, York’s finest wine bar 

Vision’s guide to who’s who at the University of York...

DERWENT It came from space 

GOODRICKE The perfect place to meet ex- editor Tom Smithard as he attempts to solicit you 

HALIFAX Failed at attempt to be trendy 

Marie Bates Vanbrugh JCR Chair Marie may not be brain of Britain, but she’s got a good heart.

Born in the drab surburbia of north London,

The Wentworth barmaid cuts a lone figure in the near-empty room, which is becoming an increasingly common sight Claire Coady FORMER STUDENTS of Wentworth College may soon be welcomed back into the bosom of their former home, as the unspoken ban on not serving undergraduate patrons in the bar is lifted.

The bar has been rumoured to be effectively ‘dead’ because of a relative lack of postgraduate punters. Wentworth became the first postgraduate college on campus only last year.

Dr Peter Lee, Wentworth Provost, acknowledged that the bar is much quieter than it was last year: “There is a more mature atmosphere that is created by having postgraduate patrons,” he said.

The reconstruction of Wentworth, involving the transfer of one accommodation block to Goodricke, has deprived the college of half of their usual residents, and therefore of a large number of students who would otherwise frequent the bar.

Son of Wenty

Dr Lee stressed that the bar does get busier later on in the evening.

As for the college’s policy regarding undergraduate student patrons, Dr Lee admitted: “It should be thought of as a bar primarily for graduate students.”

However, he claimed that undergraduate patrons were not only allowed in but encouraged to frequent the bar, if they accepted the more mature, quieter atmosphere that postgraduates prefered.

Dr Lee conceded that the bar’s finances had suffered as result of slower demand: “There is no question that finances will be down,” he said.

However, Dr Lee insists that though

LANGWITH A 70s relick which has not been renovated since Hendrix played there 

finances may be down, there is a future for the bar.

“In addition to this, there are plans to turn the current Wentworth Dining Hall into a larger bar and café, which should be more popular with the student body as a whole.”

He repeatedly stresses that there is no policy, unspoken or not, of discrimination against undergraduate student patrons and that all are welcome.

Wentworth Bar may be in a lull, but it is not dead. With a desire to see the more mature postgraduate atmosphere preserved, other students will have to acclimatise to its character.

VANBRUGH An airport lounge with sexy bar staff 

and . . .  JAMES Enjoy the walk to Goodricke

Introducing your new JCRC chairs Campus has been hit by its annual covering of unamusing pieces of coloured paper as people attempt to gain influence and friends within their colleges. Prospective chairs compete to see who can repeat the standard rhetoric of 24 hour portering before falling asleep, while promising longer bar opening hours and games consoles. Vision’s definitive guide will bring you closer to the bearers of power in your college REPORTING TEAM: Adrian Butler, Robert Harris, Tom Hazeldine and Roxy Warrick

HALIFAX

ALCUIN

DERWENT

GOODRICKE

Gareth focussed his campaign on forging a greater community spirit around the college which he suggests Alcuin currently lacks, making welfare issues hard to deal with. The lack of a large venue for the college makes it diffcult to get people from across the blocks together, although he hopes to hold Alcuin events off-cam-

Central to Rick’s campaign was his aim to bring more high profile entertainment to the University at large, using Derwent as the venue. Regulars at Club Derwent will be pleased to hear that he will fight to get a second bar area open for the event. Rick, a politics student, was previously a Bar Rep in the leading watering hole on campus.

Jake’s experience on campus is considerable, having organised the University summer ball. Of Goodricke, he said: “I want to do what we have done before, but more effectively and more ambitiously.”

He is also well-travelled, having been a British Army Officer and a driving instructor in Thailand.

Gareth Hughes

JAMES

Rick Guest

Jake Brazier

Tim Fassam

Andy Henton

Benedict Franke

LANGWITH

VANBRUGH

A second-year PPE student, Tim aims to make the college “seem less like a leper colony on the outskirts of the university”.

Vice Chair for the past term term and Welfare Rep for a year, he wants Halifax to be more interactive, and seem less like something that just resembles a housing association.

The first year French/German/Linguistics student is looking forward to building a certain je ne sais quoi into the college. He hopes to increase awareness of the role of the JCRC and improve the college ents and JCR facilities. Although with no previous experience, he is a keen member of societies such as archaeology and RAG.

Nicknamed Little Beni, this 20-year-old Politics, Philosophy and Economics student was previously Vice Chair of the JCR making this an easier transition.

The Langwith JCR website says that Benedict has succeeded to bring “German efficiency to the JCRC” in the past twelve months.

Easily recognisable by her diminutive stature, Marie (pronounced Maah-ree) wants to focus on improving Vanbrugh’s events. And with the college’s days rumoured to be numbered and a huge stash of money saved up from past years, she looks to be in a good position to achieve her aims.

Marie Bates

5 : NEWS yorkVision

December 4th 2001

news focus: campus tory scuffles

news@vision.york.ac.uk

www.yorkvision.co.uk

Bitching Blues The Chair of the campus Conservative party stands to sing the national anthem. Behind him a Union Jack is proudly displayed. Either side of him, his predecessors sit in strict hierachical formation. Black tie, of course, is encouraged. Welcome to campus politics 2001. Yet even this smug scene is under threat from inside. Two of campus’s most prominent Tories have had a spectacular falling-out in a bid for domination of their society. How was this situation allowed to develop for so long, and where now for the Right?

Tom Smithard and Adrian Butler lead the investigation...

A SPAT between two of the campus’s most prominent Tories is threatening to engulf the society in a civil war. Chairman Nick Toms and former External Vice-Chair Frank Young have fallen out spectacularly over both personal and professional issues, and have dragged in the rest of the society in a bid for personal domination.

After falling out over a personal issue which Vision has been banned from mentioning, Toms then proceeded to, according to Young, “Conduct a hate campaign against another active member of the SU and his own society.” Young, who shot to fame after arguing for the legalisation of cannabis at the national Tory Easter Conference and egging local MP John Grogan during the election campaign, has now resigned from the Campus Tory executive and has vowed never to go back.

Young accuses Toms of wrecking his chances of becoming Area Chairman of Conservative Future, the Tories’ youth wing after Toms slandered him to Tory Central Office. In an email to the whole of the Campus Tory society, Toms states that he told the Tory hierarchy that: 1: He had received 104 complaints against Young since December 2000.

2: Young had used the society and his position for his own personal advancement.

3: Young had failed in his constitutional duties – to book guest speakers (he had only booked one).

4: Young had consistently undermined Toms in his role as Chairman.

5: Young would be no more competent in an Area level role than he had been at a Branch level.

After this stunning attack, Young failed to get the job he believed he was destined for.

There are holes in Toms’ accusations, however. Firstly, under questioning from Vision, Toms now accepts that there were not 104 complainants, merely 104 complaints. Secondly Toms has backtracked on the statement that Tory Central Office made the first contact with him, admitting that he got in touch with them to tell them about Young.

Nick Toms remains unrepentant. “I stand by what I said in my email. This is not a personal attack or a vendetta against him, purely a political party matter. Frank is pissed off that he didn’t get the job and is now taking it out on someone that he perceives to be a easy target. He is behaving like a

spoilt child.” For him to accuse me of a personal vendetta is like the pot calling the kettle black. People in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.”

Campus Tories have been quick to criticise both Toms and Young. Duncan Flynn, former Tory Secretary told Vision that he believes “This argument should have remained private business. 80% of our members neither know about it or care about it, yet it was inappropriately discussed at a meeting. Nick sending out an email to the whole society was inappropriate, and in the cold light of day, even Nick must see his behaviour as inappropriate. At the same time, Frank is reaping the consequences of some stupid actions from last year. The conference speech and the egging were acts of folly and if Frank wants to be a career politician he has to work on his bad image.”

Richard Price, who replaced Young as Vice Chairman believes that “Nick shouldn’t have sent the email, the two of them should have resolved their differences in their own time and it was regretful that they involved the other members, however in the new year all this will be put behind us. Both Frank and Nick still have a part to play with the society.”

Frank Young however remains unpacified. “Nick has constantly lied to me, his friends and the society and his position as an SU welfare officer is now untenable. If he has any self respect he will resign immediately from his educational campaigns position otherwise the students of York will know that Ffion Evans [SU President] tolerates people on her executive who act in a threatening way to other students, lies consistently and is who discredited as an individual. Ffion must now act to save the reputation of her Executive.”

Campus Labour, of course, can look wryly on these rivalries. Gemma McConaghy, is Labour's Co-Internal Seceretary. At the recent Tory Party dinner to which she was invited as 'token trot', she remarked that “It was quite rude that when people were trying to give speeches others just carried on talking.”

However, she claimed no deep divisions were obvious, putting the whole thing down to petty squabbles: “They call themselves the Family, and there's bound to be rivalry among siblings.”

TOMS ON YOUNG:

 104 seperate complaints against Frank since December last year  He has consistently undermined me in my role as Chairman  Young is ‘pissed off that he didn’t get the job and is behaving like a spoilt child’

YOUNG ON TOMS:

 Nick has constantly lied to me, to his friends and to the society  His position as an SU welfare officer is now untenable  If he doesn’t go, students will know that the SU President tolerates threatening, discredited liers

6 : COMMENT yorkVision

editor@vision.york.ac.uk

December 4th 2001

www.yorkvision.co.uk

email editor@vision.york.ac.uk Tel / Fax 01904 43 3720 Grimston House, Vanbrugh College, University of York, York YO10 5DD

Dumb and Dumbo It sounds like a joke from a Christmas cracker: how many SU officers does it take to run a campaign? Evidently more than were available over the last few weeks. Despite the best efforts of many officers, its recent 'awareness' campaigns have failed in their essential purpose of generating any sense of enthusiasm among the student body.

Some of us may be better informed of the issues that are currently shaping the agenda on campus. But what of it? Until something serious happens to demonstrate the inherent dangers of doing away with 24 hour portering in every college, who will get up and shout about it? And if anyone does, they would seem to be merely shouting at the wind.

What breeds cynicism among students, and within the SU itself, is the fact that their voice is simply not being heard. If Admin won't listen, what is there that we can do? The SU cannot give up the ghost. It is mandated to fight for 24 portering, and so it should. But it's an old idea that policy tends to form itself: we must do something; this is something; therefore we must do it. Well, no.

Parading an elephant around campus will not hurt Admin in any way, especially if the Union's idea of media management leads to negative stories appearing in the city press. So they paid students to campaign. A minor detail in itself, but exactly the sort of thing that allows despondency to set in.

Oh, and there's an elephant sitting in Vanbrugh bar. Big deal. What did students make of it? Perhaps an animal rights campaign, or another RAG event with karaoke following on? On the last night of the SU's 'week of awareness', Ffion Evans lost her head as someone made off with the brains behind the elephant. Vanbrugh's own Dick Turpin strikes again?

In what was presented as a significant move forward, the SU has been granted representation on the University's Policy and Resources Committee, the smoky backroom where the men in suits make all the major decisions that affect us and future students.

This is a credit to the SU President, who presented her case to Admin and convinced them of her cause. It will give us a window into the world of University decisionmaking. Now we will know who does what, and where to lay the blame when things go wrong.

Although a step in the right direction, it doesn't give the SU the power to change what they do not like. That can only come from the students themselves. The SU has to be able to achieve its aims though direct action, enlisting its most valuable commodity: the student body.

This is not happening at the moment. Something isn't working. Recent UGMs have been inquorate, as usually happens once the budget has been passed at the start of the term. Even SU Executive meetings have struggled to get enough of its members to stay in one room for long enough to take a vote. Maybe a new VC will signal a change in tack. Although he may not be an alchemist, let's hope our new materials expert can work some magic.

And for the rest of us, why should we care about all of this? Walking around campus, however fond of the place we become, there is a sense that York can and should be so much more. Where is our centrally- located late night food outlet? On its way with any luck. The SU have been in negotiation with Admin about the possibility of managing Freshers' Café, re-orientated toward serving the usual mix of burger, chips and salad on the side. Admin however seem to have cooled on the idea.

And as for a central bar and venue? Admin have can't even deliver a new dining hall in Goodricke on time. We're all tied by invisible lines to the power politics that shape this University. All it requires is a twitch upon the thread to send us back to them once more.

A concrete Christmas?

The contrast between city and campus is once again striking. The Centre of York is bathed in festive cheer, while campus remains unseasonably gloomy. Coach loads of tourists from all over the north pile into York, making weekend shopping practically impossible. The only floods which the licensee of the Kings Arms will see this year are the floods of Christmas shoppers piling into the famous riverside pub. On Parliament Street, York's flagship stores aggressively push what they have decided to be this season's most desirable gifts - jaunty Gap knitwear, plastic wizards and pebble lights compete. Noddy Holder blares out from shop doorways. Over by the Shambles, the traditional decorations draped across the cobbled streets will sum up Christmas for many.

Yet campus does not seem to be playing along.

Walking around the University's corridors and walkways, it could be any time of year. The odd festive poster may be stuck up on the odd notice board, but it's hardly Regent Street. Likewise, walk into any student kitchen and the best you'll find is a bit of ironically-sprayed snow and a coffee-stained Christmas card. Sales of Christmas Ball tickets are reportedly slow. The University seems to have completely ignored the season: there is no central Christmas tree, no public decorations. Costcutter's posters proclaim 'Rudolph Knows', but only in an attempt to flog some cheap Penguin biscuits and packets of bacon. As our features section reports, even the lake's fabled catfish is reportedly suffering from the winter blues.

It would appear that students - and possibly academics - are embarrassed by all the festivities. For intellectuals in a mostly secular society, the religious origins of the festival are awkward. For newly independent adults reacting against the homes they have just left, Christmas is like an unwanted relative come to visit. Christmas is not clever, it's not sexy and it's not stylish. Look at Habitat trying to do seasonal decorations: they just look odd. University isn't the place to celebrate Christmas - the nearest we get to a festival is Freshers' Week and everyone knows how much of a disappointment that always is.

The problem may have something to do with timing. All except the oddest graduates will desert campus over Christmas, many travelling long distances to get home. In students' minds, December 25th is literally miles away.

And, miles away, who knows what you get up to? You new, cooler friends won't see when you slip into that chunky Christmas sweater your nan knitted you. They won't see you putting on The Snowman for the umpteenth time. They won't see you enjoying a sherry on Boxing Day. For Christmas is about the tacky and the tatty. Perhaps the only thing it can stand for in our cases is naffness, luxuriant nostalgia and awkward tradition. And, let's admit it, we love it.

So students should make the most of the monochrome distain their university holds for the festive season. Mum's Christmas cake and Dad's Andy Williams records are just

We welcome all contributions, from students and staff, about issues featured in Vision or those that you feel should be brought to students’ attention

Letters to the editor

We will not publish anonymous letters, but will guarantee the writer’s anonymity if requested. Letters may be edited for clarity and length.

Dear Editor,

Dear Editor,

We read 'Club Night Death' (7/11/01) by Tim Dean and Sam Macrory and were disappointed by the style of journalism displayed in the article.

We believe that this undermined the status of Yorkvision as the 'Best Student Publication on a Small Budget'.

The death of Zeke Hindmarsh was a tragic event which must have hurt those closest to him - especially his family. So you can imagine our discomfort when we read your negative portrayal of Zeke's life, the negative features of which were irrelevant and insulting. Any respect you showed was vague and superficial ('friendly' and 'outgoing') when compared with the specific attention given to Zeke's having 'failed' to settle in and his 'suspended expulsion'. It was not even as if such specifics were relevant to the case as they were problems for him alone and not for the public domain. Even that which may have been relevant was based on speculation best left to the police. By looking for someone to take 'responsibility' and noting that Zeke was 'allegedly' in an 'intoxicated state' you were practising the tabloid habit of recriminations and supposition. It was wrong.

Imagine the possible reaction by friends and family who would have thought, from reading your article, that Zeke's last days were beset by problems.

Can you imagine the possible guilt and upset this could have caused?. Nor was it fair on those who did not know him (and we include ourselves in this) who were only allowed to form one impression of him because of your article's emphasis on the negative.As you mentioned, there 'has been a lot of shock on campus' and so the article should have focused on Zeke's life and campus reactions to its being tragically cut short. That would have been more respectful and would have shown those closest to him that he was appreciated and will be missed.

If our forthrightness seems rather rude it is only such because of the serious nature of the issue concerned. We do not mean to devalue the generally good work that you do. On the contrary, this letter should enable you to improve your quality paper still further should such tragic events occur in the future. So keep up the good work, but be careful.

The 'ILIAD' and 'Languages for All' schemes are all very well but what is there for those who have problems with identifying the gender related characteristics of a particular human body.

Antonia Hassan writing in her article "Pride and Precautions" on page fifteen of issue 132 (November 7th 2001), wrote the following :

Yours, James Elliott & Nicklas Pommer

"Gonorrhoea : ...Symptoms in women include an unusual vaginal or anal discharge from the penis" Quite some symptom.

I think "Genitals for All" is perhaps the way to go.

Oliver Fisher

Dear Editor, I would like, if I may, to take to task commentary in an article in your politics section of November 7th. Mr Palmer asserts that disgraced spin doctor, Jo Moore is “A clearly talented spinette… Moore was simply doing her job, and doing it well…

Rightly nobody has resigned or been sacked.” Such disreputable conduct cannot be airbrushed over so easily, however much representatives of Labour Club on campus may desire.

Not only were Jo Moore’s comments incredibly insensitive to victims of September the 11th, including 100’s of British citizens, but they were also a very prime example of the cynicism and crass arrogance that the Labour Party have shown in their style of government in the last four years. Now is not the occasion to go into length of their long list of parliamentary misdeeds and contraventions, suffice to mention the names Mandelson, Robinson, Cook, Irvine and Byers; to recall the sidelining of PMQs, a very valuable area to hold the executive to account; the botched attempts at remaining successful and widely admired scrutinising Select Committee Chairs; the failed attempts to parachute timid poodles into the Welsh Assembly and GLA and now the election of a clearly incompetent monkey as Speaker of the House, to name but a few examples.

To assert that Labour are truly paranoid of proper independent scrutiny (see fudge of FMS enquiry) and opposition

send all correspondence to: letters@vision.york.ac.uk -orVision Letters, Grimston House

would not exaggerate the case, clearly to be seen in the callous and heartless attempts to ‘bury bad news’ in the fresh graves of the World Trade Center victims.

This government will truly stop at nothing to shield itself from valid and legitimate criticism. Unlike Mr Palmer, I happen to believe that the Jo Moore scandal is indeed a ‘pressing matter’: a matter of preserving an open and democratic style of government. There comes a point when we must stop our national parliament being grossly undermined. That point should be Jo Moore.

Yours Sincerely, Richard Price Vice-Chairman York University Conservatives

Dear Editor, Without wishing to seem like a sad prude, I am writing to express my extreme disapproval over your publication of a photograph by the “Puppetry of the Penis” gentlemen.

Whenever I have come across some of the reams of publicity these Anitopedean perverts seem to be able to effortlessly generate, I have always been thoroughly disgusted. I just do not see the humour in childlike manipulation of the genitals.

Sadly, the “monkey see, monkey do” principal must apply to those who lap up this sort of thing. I can barely bring myself to imagine how many amateur “Loch Ness Monsters” must have been triumphantly produced in bedrooms up and down York on the day of your publication.

Aside from issues of taste surely the medical angle has to be considered. A lot of complicated tubing goes into the average testicle and to tangle it all up can only do it severe harm. And what of the unfortunate chap too short and stumpy to be able to perform such theatricals?

That said, I honestly thought your last issue was one of the best I have seen in my time at this University. In particular, I always enjoy the features section and the Colonel’s sports section column. But please, have some thought for those of us with delicate sensibilities!

Sam Streatfeild

COMPETITION WINNERS COMPETITION WINNERS COMPETITION WINNERS Congratulations to Jonathan Driscoll from Derwent for correctly identifying Howard Marks’ university as Oxford.

He wins a Howard Marks audiocassette.

Congratulations also to Rachel Puddefoot of Goodricke who wins a

Magnetic Poetry set. Her winning poem is published on p31.

No one entered our competitions to win Rainbow videos, or Des O’Connor autobiographies. Also, perhaps unsurprisingly, no one entered our competition to become the cam-

pus’s newest cock-star in our puppetry of the penis competition. That one’s now closed, however the first few people to email us get to share out the other unclaimed prizes still up for grabs. Email competitions @vision. york.ac.uk to claim...

www.yorkvision.co.uk

editor@vision.york.ac.uk

December 4th 2001 yorkVision

COMMENT : 7

A cautionary tale of Take pride in our forces Nights Like These and a new V-C By committing British forces our Prime Minister has won a place at the centre of the international coalition

johnGROGAN

Generally speaking, but never more so than on Nights Like This, there’s a certain strangeness at finding myself back here after three years: the only possessor of a degree amidst a few hundred undergraduates garethWALKER Three AM. Somewhere down below a door slams shut with a sound like a shotgun blast going-off and this whole place seems to rattle at its foundations. One more knock like that, you think, and they’re not going to have to bother calling in the bulldozers at the end of the year.

Only, of course, this college block and those like it have already survived three decades of having their doors slammed, walls bounced-off and windows smashed.

And there won’t be any bulldozers next year anyway. The money’s run short and those plans for neat, trim blocks of ten-toa security-carded flat have been consigned to the bottom of the drawer for another few years.

Which means that Goodricke, Vanbrugh, Derwent, Langwith – anywhere in fact where the windows are grimy and single-glazed, toilet corners are choked with spiders-webs and a Baby-Belling quietly oozes grease in the kitchen – have survived to enjoy a forth decade of general abuse. And for another few generations of York students, there are going to be many more Nights Like This.

What is a Night Like This? On the ground floor somewhere over on the right a kitchen-full of people have sung their way through two Oasis albums; now it looks as if a Beatles best-of is going to keep them going into their third hour.

They make one half of an uneasy stereo. The other half is supplied by somebody over to the left of the third floor fumbling their way through ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’ on a badly tuned second-hand guitar. This is his seventy-eight attempt (I’ve been counting), and now I’m just begging him, praying to God, anything, that this time he’ll hit the right note.

He doesn’t, pauses, then begins again.

At the far end of the first floor meanwhile somebody eases open a fridge – the third tonight – and hastily stuffs two yogurts, a kiwi fruit and half a frozen pizza into a plastic carrier bag. Briefly he considers chancing his luck and rifling one more kitchen; but at the sound of a nearby toilet flushing his courage fails him and he darts quickly downstairs with his spoils.

Just-as-well. The last thing our fridgethief hears as his corridor-door swings shut behind him is the staccato tapping of a dozen rapidly approaching heels.

Luckily for him none of their wearers happens to spot him. They’re all too busy fiddling with their mobiles, simultaneously trying to either text or ring the corridormate who no-one can really remember seeing since about midnight.

This either means some poor girl is alone, freezing and very pissed-off in the Ikon-&-Diva car-park – or else is pleasantly ensconced in the comfortable surroundings of a Halifax College bedroom with the lad off her course she happened to run into. Either way, there’s no chance she’s answering her phone.

Generally speaking, but never more so than on Nights Like This, there’s a certain strangeness at finding myself back here after three years: the only possessor of a degree amidst a few hundred undergraduates.

There were things I knew I’d remember. That sweaty, sweet-n-stale odor which seems to hang in the stairwells and along every corridor, whose strength only really hits when you’re just back from a weekend away. Or the late night squeak-andslam of doors, random shouts, bursts of music and creaking floorboards which remind you that, no matter how late the

Know thy enemy: Brian Cantor narrowly defeated our Gareth for V-C. Has the University made a horrible mistake? hour, somewhere about the place there’s always somebody else up, something else happening.

The surprise has been that I’d somehow forgotten the whole unique rhythm of life that seems to run through these old concrete-slabbed college blocks. It’s there in the way a week will explode out of the traps, bursting forward in its first few days in a breathless dash of drink and noise and laughter; only at some indefinable midpoint for the momentum to slacken, then falter.

Then suddenly every kitchen-conversation seems to be about sleep. How much have we had? How many hours do we need? How much more can we afford to lose? Until eventually by the weekend a kind of half-calm half-bored eddy is reached, when barely a curtain twitches before mid-afternoon and a strange halfsilence hangs over the place – as if a collective deep-breath is being taken before the dive into the next week.

There was a time back in my own first year when I felt a kind of frustration at always being driven forward by this metronome-regular pace. Now, strangely, there’s a quiet delight in this chance to see it with new eyes: in appreciating an atmosphere that nothing – and certainly not the divided comfort of those secure little flats which someday soon will be standing here instead – will ever really be able to replace.

Which means, if just for the sake of sentimentality, I might even be able to survive a few more Nights Like This.

Though if that door slams one more time tonight I’m not going to be responsible for my actions…

N

ow, on more weighty matters; as keen readers of our news section may have already spotted, my campaign to become this University’s next vice-chancellor has sadly come to its end with the appointment of Oxford Professor Brian Cantor.

Of course some might say that I never stood a chance against the author of such classic works as ‘The effect of vanadium

and grain refiner additions on the nucleation of secondary phases in 1xxx Al alloys’ (1999), which I must confess is rarely far from my own bedside table. Let alone the wonderful ‘Modelling and experimental analysis of vacuum plasma spraying. Part I: prediction of initial plasma properties at plasma gun exit’ (2000) – a racy read that, what with all that ‘plasma’ and ‘guns’, is surely crying out for the big screen treatment.

As it happens however, I can reveal that the contest seemed at one stage far too tight to call, to the point that a stalemate threatened to derail the whole appointment procedure. In the end however the panel happened to notice that both Prof.

Cantor and I listed playing the guitar among our hobbies. And by this stage, with all involved exhausted and increasingly desperate, an axe-hero contest seemed the only sensible and mutually agreeable way forward.

Sadly this proved my undoing.

Unbeknownst to us all Brian in fact tours regularly with the cult funk-outfit ‘Love Gun Gonna Blow U, Baby’ and had actually got his first academic job at Sussex University in the early-eighties by knowing all the chords to Prince’s ‘Purple Rain’.

Thus (although described as ‘very sweet’ by at least one witness) my own acoustic medley of Corrs hits was thoroughly trumped when Brian unleashed a searing note-perfect rendition of Clapton’s ‘Layla’ before effortlessly slipping into a funky reworking of the Shaft theme tune.

Obviously disappointed, my thanks nonetheless go out to Vision, as well as all those friends and family who also supported my campaign. (Except, that is, my mother; who more than once angrily told me to stop trying to get into University Admin and find myself a ‘respectable’ profession instead.)

Finally, cynics might observe that the last thing York needs is another Oxbridgereject about the place. Nonetheless I’m prepared to be magnanimous in defeat, wish Prof. Cantor all the best in his new job and will happily show him round and teach him the ropes in return for the occasional loan of his Gibson Stratocaster and

IN THE mid 1980’s when I was an eager young candidate attending my first ever public meeting at York University as a Parliamentary Candidate I was stumped by the first question which is not quite what I had expected. “What is the purpose and future role of the British armed forces?” barked a young man in a tweed jacket. It was not a subject which got much attention in the 1980’s Labour Party.

We knew we wanted to start cutting back the number of nuclear weapons in the world and reduce the proportion of Government spending which went on the military but beyond that we were rather vague. I still shudder at my mumbled answer that evening.

Fast forward sixteen years to the 2001 election and another very similar question to a panel of Parliamentary candidates assembled at Askham Bryan College just outside York. The Green representative and I stoutly defended the role of the British forces in keeping the peace in Kosovo and Sierra Leone and argued that defence expenditure having been scaled down after the end of the cold war was now an important part of Britain’s contribution to the international community. In a strange role reversal from the previous decade it was Tory Little Englanders in the audience who attacked the deployment of troops overseas or co-operation with other European armies.

A couple of weeks ago almost unnoticed by the mainstream media democratic elections in Kosovo were characterised both by a high turnout and strong votes for

both moderate Serb and Muslim parties.

Without the sustained presence of thousands of NATO troops such elections would have been unthinkable. Currently it is only Britain within Europe who has the wherewithal to deploy it’s armed forces on such peacekeeping or peacemaking missions. Not being afraid to do so for me is part of what a progressive foreign policy means.

So to Afghanistan. For me Tony Blair has acted in the best tradition of post-war Labour Prime Minister Clement Atlee who flew to the Unites States to help convince the American administration not to use the nuclear bomb in Korea. By committing British forces our Prime Minister has won a place at the centre of the international coalition and helped strengthen the hand of the moderate elements of the American administration like Secretary of State Powell. After September 11th the world had to act to destroy the Al Qaeda terrorist network and the Taliban Government who sustained them.

Punching above its weight the British Government has helped ensure that the post war reconstruction of Afghanistan and wider international problems such as the Middle East peace process also have a prominent place on the agenda.

Just before Christmas I have an invitation to attend a seasonal party at RAF Church Fenton hosted by the Yorkshire Universities Air Squadron which includes several students from York. After fifteen years of thinking about it I will not only be able to tell them what I think their role is in the world as part of the British armed forces but also that I am proud that they choose to undertake it.

John Grogan is the Labour MP for the University’s constituency, Selby

Accountability makes the world go round Being held accountable is a big part of any representative's responsibilities. If we can't handle been asked questions then we should not be in position

ffionEVANS SINCE THE last time I wrote there have been a number of elections; your JCRC elections, your society Committee elections and the Union ran committee elections. While it goes without saying that I hope you exercised your right to vote in those elections, even more importantly I think is for you to utilise the opportunities you will have to hold those whom you elected to account - to ensure they are doing exactly what they promised to do.

I talk from experience when I say it is without a doubt all too easy for elected representatives to be elected in to a position on a whole host of promises only to forget all those manifesto pledges when faced with the administrative day to day tasks of the role.

This is why it is crucial, neigh, absolutely necessary for you to use the opportunities given to you to hold those who are meant to represent you accountable. I am sure that there are a number of reasons why I got elected, but I am sure that none of those included the belief that I would be a fantastic administrator!

Union General Meetings are always publicised as the best way in which to hold you Officers to account. A repeated criticism of the Union General Meeting system has been that it is to "bitchy" or "nasty" with all the pointless point scoring demonstrated through the Officers' Questions. Inevitably, it being a political organisation, the officers that work for the Union often get faced with challenging questions.

I have never understood this criticism.

From a completely selfish point of view, if someone believes that I am doing a poor job I would much rather be given a chance to defend my actions and argue why I

believe I am still the best person for the job than be faced with lower and lower levels of participation due to a lack of confidence in my ability.

Don't pity the Officers or the elected representatives when they do get asked challenging questions or shy away from asking questions, the truth of the matter is that as officers or elected representatives we are fully aware of the responsibilities and the duties of our roles when we stand for the positions.

Being held accountable is a big part of any representative's responsibilities. If we can't handle been asked questions then we should not be in position.

As an Officer not only do I get to decide how to implement Union policy but I am also a signatory for the Union’s money. Why shouldn't I be asked questions and be held accountable for what I do and the way in which I do it. And what's more, why shouldn't you if you do not like what I do be able to tell me and ultimately get rid of me! The guarantee is that if I don't then it is as easy for you to vote me out as it was for you to vote me in.

As elected officers there are many ways in which to hold us to account. The JCRC officers hold termly open meetings, the Union holds an Officers Questions session at every UGM, your society committee members are equally as accountable to you.

Well-done if you voted during the past couple of weeks… but your responsibility does not end there. It is up to you to ensure that we do what we said we would do, and that we remain committed. If you don't like what we do that we are challenged and that for me is the real meaning of being Your officers and Your representatives.

Ffion Evans is SU President

8 : COMMENT yorkVision

editor@vision.york.ac.uk

December 4th 2001

JOIN THE FRONT! jamesrevfront@hotmail.com "A FORUM FOR PETTY SNIPING, IN-JOKES AND OFFENSIVE HUMOUR" NOUSE

PHOTO NEWS

www.yorkvision.co.uk

TheSketch FROM THE JAMES REVOLUTIONARY FRONT

S.U. 'PEPYS' - SHOW YUSU Unveils New line in Exciting Inexplicable Campaigns

YSTV LISTINGS

XXX-Mass SPECIAL: EROTIC NIGHT What better way to celebrate the birth of the living Christ than a night of steamy, sexy erotica made by YSTV's top pornographers, featuring the high quality viewers have come to expect from their favourite student channel.

9.00 Blindfold II: Acts Of Earplug Obsession A sexy student acts out her steamy fantasy of putting on a blindfold and a set of earplugs that eliminate all sound. What follows is two hours of mind-blowing sex shot entirely from her sensorarily-deprived perspective.

888

HARRY POTTER! Reader attention directed to page by entirely misleading photo

PepysHead®, armed only with a sense of injustice & bread products, gets ready to communicate his impenetrable message

Campaigner Don Juan is York University's very own elephant man

NEWS IN BRIEF RAG - Paris Hitch raises over £30,000 for beleaguered continental breweries. "Mercibein!" says CEO of Stella Artois.

SOCIETIES - Cinematography Soc to follow their epic Look at our Massive Grant with a lavish remake of James Cameron's Titanic, in which a twice life sized replica of the vessel, fashioned from pure gold, will be towed to the mid-Atlantic and sunk.

UNION - Ex-Goodricke Chair Thomas Conman expresses intention to contest every position in the next YUSU election. It is hoped his policy of 'One man, One vote' will bring unity back to the union.

MOVIES - LGB Officer Adam Hadem deeply critical after exclusive preview of Lord of the Rings. "This is not at all what I had expected", says Adam.

SKETCH-IONAIRE

We asked what you were looking for in candidates at JCRC election time: 15% "Pretty posters" 31% "Hopeless pipedreams" 25% "Breasts" 14% "Hot Cock" 2% "Breasts and Hot Cock" 1% "Honesty, competence and integrity"

SMALL ADS CALLING ALL ECO-WARRIORS - Let's recycle!

Do you have any old copies of NOUSE? Any jokes or observations that were mildly amusing 18 months ago?

Innuendo would like them back for immediate reprinting.

Contact NOUSE: Where memory is no obstacle to humour… although an inflated sense of your own importance might be.

YORK STUDENTS’ Union embarked on a whole new series of campaigns this week, completely unfathomable to man, woman and child. It is hoped that by promoting important issues in the most convoluted way possible, students will really develop an awareness of the crucial issues that shape their daily lives.

Chairperson Iffans unveiled plans for "Annefnyddiol Week" at a press conference of two early last week. The centrepiece for the week of action was introduced: a wacky character dressed up as the head of famed Restoration diarist Samuel Pepys.

PepysHead®, was touring campus for the majority of last week, noted for his dancing to the classic 'Animal Army' by Babylon Zoo, while simulating consumption of grotesquely oversized cheese on toast. All are thought to be integral parts of PepysHead's® mission to inform.

The costumed Malaysian sweatshop worker, imported especially for the task, was observed chanting slogans in obscure dead or theoretical languages such as Etruscan, Esperanto, Hobbit and

Welsh, outside the tactically vital ladies toilet in Alcuin. "Claautu Veratta Nichtu!", said the amusingly dressed figure, while handing out leaflets written in white, on white, in what is thought to be a pre-cuneiform dialect from ancient Assyria.

The message is said to be self-explanatory, or so say YUSU sources through a translator: "It's immediately obvious to anyone who's had to endure recent developments on campus, or any students familiar with variants of the Enigma coding system."

Services Officer Don Juan has been especially keen to emphasise the strength of the new direction for campus political campaigns. "This is a powerful message, an important message, a relevant message," commented an enthused Juan. "Above all it is a message that gets my name in the Yorkshire Evening Press."

The Campaigns Officers added absolutely nothing of interest.

York students have since been universal in their words of praise. "Eh?" said one, "I thought Rag Week was next month."

Smithurd Liberates TOP VISOIN newshound Tim Smithurd has single-handedly liberated Kabul.

During a break between completing a History essay and compiling a list of the "top 5 people called Smithurd", Tim decided to file a report from Kabul for this very paper. However, fortuitous travel timetabling resulted in Tim becoming the first Westerner to enter Kabul following the capitulation of the Taliban.

Grateful Afghans, newly free from the yoke of oppression, greeted the one-man news army with open arms, crying "All hail the Sheepskin Saviour!" As thousands upon thousands of grateful citizens dropped to their knees before him, an impromptu show of hands saw Smithurd

crowned as the new King. Reported to be "surprised, but quite chuffed", Smithurd later commented, "When we won our 'Best Publication on a Small Budget' award I thought I'd reached the pinnacle.

And now this?! Stick that in your arse and smoke it, Nouse! You can win as many awards as you like now, cos who’s the King? I said, WHO’S THE FUCKING KING? I am!"

His Majesty Tim, the 1st, later announced his decision to leave Visoin for a life of opulent splendour in Afghanistan, where he is now considered a deity by millions of peasants, controls 90% of the World's opium crop and gets to sit on a Big Throne.

ADVERTISMENT

At this special time of year, do you feel strangely compelled to revel in the faintly absurd notion of college patriotism? If so, then you're sure gonna fall for this one…

AS A PSEUDO-FESTIVE TYPESET TELLS YOU IT’S TIME FOR THE

Christmas College Ball

After a year of pissing money away we, your JCRC, present a mediocre night of entertainment which, fingers crossed, will make you forget about how utterly inept we've been for the rest of the year. As if your memory had been wiped out by magical mind erasers! And, with our creative use of clip-art, you can't help but buy a ticket! Features of the evening include…

Lambrini reception! / The finest mechanically recovered 'meat' and broiler chicken! /'Riverdance' to Dagenham Dave's 'Genuine Oirish Ceilidh Band'! / 'Gamble' away worthless chips at our 'CASINOt'! / Endure a forced sense of bonhomie before the drunken recriminations inevitably break out!

All this for the incredible price of £30!

Ever get the feeling you'd have been better off sticking your loan up your arse and setting it alight? You will do!

Information Centre Rocked by 'Student' STAFF AT the University's new Information Centre, part of the multimillion pound redevelopment on Vanbrugh Way, were left reeling by the incessant questions and 'harassment' to which they were subjected by a mysterious young man last week.

"I was just placing an order for a spare set of pink neon tube-lights over the internet when a scruffily-dressed guy walked in totally unannounced." explained Mary Pointless, the Information Centre's new Human Assistance Executive.

"He began firing questions at me about where he could 'collect his loan' - I had no idea what on earth he was talking about.

“I sat down with him on our low-level settee and arranged a selection of tourist guides and maps to York in front of him on the coffee table, but he just kept saying that he was a 'student', and all he wanted to do was get his cheque."

Mary, one of the Centre's four fulltime members of staff, joined the University team only a matter of months after completing her Tourism and Management Diploma at University College Romford, and was unprepared for such abuse at the hands of a man said to be "somewhere between 14 and 29" years of age."

Eventually I explained to him that I'm given a heap of money by the people in the big old building near the village every month, and suggested that he should try there," said Mary, currently recuperating at home on paid sick leave until the new year.

11.00 The Erotic World Of Advertising Have you ever felt strangely aroused by a parade of teletext-style adverts?

As their neon colours flash up on the screen, your pants seem to tighten.

They linger, whispering their blandishments - mmm, Ali's Kitchen - and then leave only to be replaced by more… almost as if they were your slaves! Many people are aroused by teletext adverts. A significant percentage, in fact. And this half hour is for them.

11.30 Dau Suu: Movin' On In a late night version of everyone's favourite Union soap opera, an 'erotic' meeting of YUSU's Executive Committee is called, where full frontal nudity and light bondage are most definitely on the agenda.

12.00 Uni Voyeur - Interactive!

A compilation of the sexiest, steamiest, sexiest moments from the explicit webcam mounted on the roof of the Physics building. Allow your eyes to letch at the low-grade faraway windows, showing the steamiest boudoirs of Goodricke C Block.

Join in at: http://www.amp.york.ac.uk/ external/weather/webcam_page.htm 12.03 The Largest Orgy In The World!

As our finale, YSTV has spent no expense in arranging an enormous mixed-race orgy of more than 10,000 people! All bald and naked, they will be shot from a camera more than a mile in the air, to get them all in. The constantly writhing, naked bodies may seem from that distance to resemble a field of static - that's how erotic they are! The XXX-rated fuckfest will continue until normal programming resumes in the morning.

Unless we just keep it on the screen for the rest of term.

Starting next week, YSTV's new comedy series…

'The Darkies at Number 47' Would you describe yourself as a white, middle-class liberal?

Nonetheless, would you secretly love to laugh at a succession of stereotypical jokes about people from the Indian-subcontinent? Then this is the programme for you.

www.yorkvision.co.uk

politics@vision.york.ac.uk

POLITICS

December 4th 2001 yorkVision

POLITICS : 9

War in Afghanistan

The ascent of dissent

On Sunday, 15th November, thousands gathered in London to demonstrate against the war in Afghanistan.

Sharif Hamadeh and Yuriy Melnyk were there and report exclusively for Vision on the day’s events IN THE crowd of thousands that congregated at Trafalgar Square there was an atmosphere of celebration coupled with defiance. And celebration was in order. In spite of the fact that many sections of the media had lauded the 'liberation of Kabul' as an international victory over the evils of terrorism, and in spite of the appeals from people like Independent columnist David Aaronovitch to 'Stay at home' - "Here's a bit of well-intentioned advice" he wrote two days before the march, "Don't go.

Have the flu." - tens of thousands of people from all over Britain descended on London to register their support for the Stop the War Coalition.

The organisers declared the Sunday, 18 November protest against the war on Afghanistan a tremendous success, suggesting it was the largest anti-war demonstration London had witnessed in over 30 years. But the exact number of protesters was the subject of much debate. The police had initially pitched their estimates of attendance at 30,000, but had finally reported an estimate of 15,000. Lindsey German, convenor of the Stop the War Coalition steering committee described these figures as "lack[ing] all credibility" and suggested foul play was at work.

In a Stop the War Coalition press release the day after the demonstration, German expanded her argument; "Police estimated the last major national anti-war event in London, on 13 October, at 20,000.

Organisers estimated 50,000. According to newspaper reports, this Sunday's demonstration was considerably larger - we believe twice as large - as last month's, yet police would have us believe it was 25%

Photos: Russell Sugden

Anti-Capitalist protestors walked side by side with a Conservatives Against the War delegation smaller… Could it be that the police succumbed to political pressure from Downing Street to massage figures downwards?" Whilst the mass media tended to report the estimates of the police, rather than those of the organisers, Media Workers Against the War cited an attendance of "Some 100,000" noting too, that, "The crowd revelled in its own diversity, and in the unity that so many found in calling for peace and justice - for Afghanistan, and people everywhere."

The diversity of the crowd was indeed striking. Weaving their way from Hyde Park, to Trafalgar Square, battle-scarred activists from Seattle and Genoa marched alongside conservative Muslim women

wearing hijabs, and Palestinian flags fluttered next to the banners of Trade Unionists. There was even a delegation of Conservatives Against the War present.

The demonstration became a forum to assert a much wider range of causes than a strictly anti-war protest demanded. Claims for women's rights in Iran were easily accommodated alongside demands for the independence of Palestine, protests against the genocide of Kurds in Turkey, and even calls for the abolition of capitalism: a remarkable sign of a whole range of related issues triggered to emerge all the more powerfully by a single event.

As Shafique Barabhuiya, a member of York Students Against the War comment-

Orphans of War With world attention now focussed firmly on Afghanistan, Nick Kingsley recalls meeting three young orphans from the nation we had all but forgotten AS THE world struggled to come to terms with the events of 11th September, the full glare of the global media spotlight fell upon the war-ravaged state of Afghanistan, rogue state par-excellence and home to Osama bin Laden. Leaving aside the moral dilemma of waging the war though, the real tragedy of Afghanistan is how, until that fateful day three months ago, its plight was so steadfastly ignored by the West.

Certainly few of us in the West appeared to take much notice when, in 1996, the Taliban swept to power in Afghanistan after a long and bloody civil war which had raged since the expulsion of the Soviets in the 1980s. Indeed, there was even a belief in some quarters that the singularly oppressive brand of Islamic zealotry imposed by the Taliban would at least bring stability to the country. Slowly though, the now ubiquitous stories of the total subjection of women and the execution of petty thieves in football stadia crept into the news as the Americans pinpointed Afghanistan as a likely retreat for terrorists.

The Taliban's reign of terror had wider repercussions, however. Their preoccupation with maintaining strict religious practices had a devastating effect upon the country's already decimated infrastructure. In the Summer of 1996 acclaimed journalist Nick Danziger embarked upon a treacherous journey to Kabul on a mission to investigate the city's orphanages. What he found when he arrived left him so moved that he felt obliged to act; so he made the bold decision to adopt three Afghan orphans.

I met Satar, Farishta and Khadija in

the unlikely setting of Monte Carlo four years ago, around a year after their flight from Kabul (Danziger had wanted to move back to Britain but apparently the children don't qualify for asylum.)

Khadija, then aged 12, had been so severe-

Satar had never seen the sea and was incredulous at the notion of a weather forecast: “That's Allah's work! Do you mean men go up into the sky and pour buckets of water down?!” ly beaten in her orphanage that she scarcely spoke for nearly two years.

These institutions were, even in 1996, little more than derelict buildings with no facilities whatsoever. Psychiatric patients and abandoned children were left together with little or no proper care. Worse still, young girls would routinely disappear rumour has it they were being sold into

prostitution or slavery for rich Arabs.

To suggest these three were lucky then is a gross understatement, but nevertheless they did not find it all easy to adjust to life in the west. In many respects it came as quite a shock to see how they reacted to those elements of daily life which we take so much for granted. The eldest, Satar (then 14) was ceaselessly inquisitive demanding explanations for everything.

Much like a Western 14-year-old, he hated homework - and in particular having to learn French - and had a remarkable appetite for fast food. On the other hand, he had never seen the sea and was incredulous at the notion of a weather forecast: "That's Allah's work! Do you mean men go up into the sky and pour buckets of water down?!"

From the little I could glean, it seemed the two girls found the sudden readjustment hardest. Even over the border in the relative safety of Pakistan, they recoiled at the sight of bearded men in turbans; the word 'Taliban' was rarely mentioned in their presence. Danziger returns frequently to report on events in Afghanistan; both he and the children still have friends in Kabul. The thought of yet more bombs falling on this ruined city cannot be a comforting one. The family remains in Monaco with the children still trying to overcome the trauma of their background.

If the outcome of the war involves the removal of the Taliban and the insertion of a government prepared to rebuild this shattered country and provide the requisite services to support its people perhaps it will not have been in vain. The operation in the former Yugoslavia at least offers hope of a better future for Afghanistan.

Recent events have graphically shown that the West has a responsibility never again to turn its back.

ed after the event, "Where else would you find Communists marching with Muslim Aid, or Christians leafleting alongside Socialist Workers? This demonstration showed the way that people with different mindsets and separate agendas can unite under one cause, and underlines the just nature of that cause." With 'Stop the War' and 'Not in My Name' placards being the refrain of the march, signs varied greatly.

'No Blood For Oil!' demanded some, 'Imperialism Will Not Bring Peace!' warned others. A little girl wrapped in a duffle coat and scarf held her own homemade placard tenderly. It said simply, 'We don't want children dying this winter.'

But many demonstrators put down their placards and took up applause when they reached Trafalgar Square. Here the demonstrators were greeted by an array of speakers. Labour MPs, CND and Antiglobalisation activists, journalists, academics and others all took to the microphone to vent their frustrations and inspire dissent. Perhaps the most poignant speech was delivered by a 20 year-old Afghan student from Scotland. Attacking US-led support for the Northern Alliance, she said "We don't want a 'broad-based' government of murderers!" She went on to share her aspirations for the region, "I dream of peace for my country. I dream of a stable, democratic government; not only in Afghanistan, but in Palestine, and Iraq."

Muslim Britons dispersed through the crowd offering bottles of water and dates to other protesters as an invitation to join them in iftar - the daily breaking of the fast that occurs during the Holy month of Ramadan. At sunset an Imam approached

the podium, and the Muslim call to prayer echoed over London.

The demonstration brought together thousands of people of different origins, statuses and beliefs under a single 'Stop the War' slogan. As the Northern Alliance (supported by Western troops) continue to gain victory after victory over the Taliban's declining resistance, this strange war is generating an increasing number of Western opponents. After the first wave of uncontrolled public lust for retaliation in the aftermath of September 11, the British public is now assuming a more moderate and concerned - should we say civilised?

- attitude to the military campaign.

As German asserts, "The real news is that anti-war feeling in Britain is clearly on the rise and the size and diversity of the demonstration confirmed that reality clearly, an uncomfortable one for the government."

Fast & Furious Peter Edwards RAMADAN IS now upon us, and to many in the West the Muslim holy month will be met with nothing more than confusion. In the ninth month of the lunar calendar Muslims go through a period of physical and spiritual purification that marks their devotion to Allah.

In daylight hours during this period, Muslims are expected to abstain from

President Musharraf had hoped for a pause in the bombing over Ramadan food, drink and sexual relations. The sick and elderly, as well as women who are either pregnant or nursing may break the fast on the proviso that they make up an equal number of days later in the year. If anyone is physically unable to do this, they must feed a needy person for every day missed.

The purpose of fasting lies in the process of self-purification and spiritual growth that comes from such abstention.

Those fasting should also find a greater empathy with the world's poor. There are

an estimated 1.5 billion Muslims across the world who observe the holy month, which began this year on November 17th.

As expected by the grim realists, the bombing of Afghanistan did not end before this period, and over two weeks ago Tony Blair confirmed that the coalition would continue the air strikes until its objectives of finding Osama bin Laden and removing the Taleban were met.

In a joint press conference with Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf at Downing St, he said: "Of course we have to be aware of the sensitivities of Muslims and we are aware of the sensitivities, and of course the Taleban will continue to fight during that time [the holy month]. We must, therefore, take account as we pursue our campaign of those sensitivities. But in the end everyone understands that the campaign has to continue ultimately until the objectives are secured."

We have now seen the liberation of many of Afghanistan's major cities, and the Taleban are restricted to a few pockets of resistance dotted around the country.

The question now arises of what objectives remain. Are we any closer to finding Osama bin Laden? The LA Times says that until four years ago bin Laden lived in the Afghan town of Ghulam Dag, outside the eastern provincial capital of Jalalabad.

They quote a local Moujahedeen commander who claims that bin Laden returned there shortly before the September 11th attacks. One hopes that the Pentagon has gathered more intelligence than this, but no one believes that bin Laden's current whereabouts can be pinned down to one area.

So, over Ramadan American intelligence will continue the search for bin Laden, whilst President Bush emphasises the humanitarian aid such as drops of flour, wheat, cornmeal, blankets and coats that are continuing over Afghanistan.

10 : POLITICS yorkVision

December 4th 2001

Lenient WTO Claire Coady

CHINA GAINED entry into the World Trade Organisation this week. Next story please. No, really, this is momentous news, not only because a country with an

Trade Organisation's job description to investigate human rights abuses and fight injustice throughout the world. That is in the United Nation's job description, and we cannot forget that. The World Trade Organisation exists to bring consumers

A deal, finally. Both China and Taiwan enter the WTO appalling history of incarcerating political prisoners, bullying Tibet, and continually struggling with the concept of religious and individual freedoms was admitted unanimously into one of the most influential economic organisations in the world, but also because it took this long to get them in.

Yes, it is true - the WTO is not a human rights debate forum. The WTO is exactly what it stands for: the World Trade Organisation. Alas, it is not in the World

1.2 billion is a heck of a lot of people to be missing from the global market place

and producers throughout the world together into a single global marketplace.

It is a simple concept to grasp. The World Trade Organisation works to ensure that all consumers and producers have an economically fair chance of acquiring goods by ensuring that governments are not unfairly favouring domestic producers by setting up trade barriers- tariffs, quotas, unfair legislation, etc. Nowhere does it say that it has a responsibility to make sure that all member countries adhere to some unspoken highly intellectual Western code of human rights.

China's entry into the WTO was only the next logical step in the inevitable development of the globalised economy.

They have over 1.2 billion people, and that is only a conservative estimate. It could be much more than that. Those 1.2 billion make up a sixth of the world's population.

That is a heck of a lot of people to be missing from the global market place. The Chinese consumers did not have as great a

choice as they could have had, and the world's consumers missed out on the benefits of further competition between Western and Chinese firms.

It goes without saying that China did have to make concessions to join the World Trade Organisation. The biggest one was Taiwan's entry on the same day.

This is a big step for China, as they do not look favourably upon an increased Taiwanese role in world affairs. It is an even bigger step for the world, as no single country even recognises the existence of a Taiwanese state, for fear of upsetting China (despite some universities' finance departments insistences to the contrary, but that is another story). The Chinese government has also had to relax their grip on the Chinese domestic market and begin an experiment with capitalism. Further concessions had to be made to some Western countries over the past few years, with regards to the dumping of goods into Western markets and helping uphold international copyright laws over intellectual property.

The World Trade Organisation does, however, have the responsibility to ensure that ethical labour standards are being upheld. What is bad for consumers, and unfair for ethical firms, is the blatant abuse of labour that occurs in some third world countries (chiefly inflicted upon them by Western firms). This drives the ethical firms out of business and exploits consumers who, in all fairness, would not be pleased to know that their £100 jeans are being produced by a ten-year-old earning £1 a day working in abysmal conditions. If this is what is happening in China, then it goes without saying that they should be heavily punished, even ousted from the World Trade Organisation.

However, we should not expect them to have the resources to investigate allegations of political human rights abuses. It is probably better to not leave that up to a conspicuously capitalist economic organisation.

Stringent Egypt The defendants were crammed into the courtroom in handcuffs and wearing white Chris Cermak ON MAY 11th 2001, police raided a floating disco, ‘The Queen’ Boat on the Nile and arrested over 50 men as a result. All of these men were gay, and the crime they committed was nothing other than practising their sexuality. Over six months later, on November 14th, an Egyptian court sentenced 23 of these men to as much as five years in prison. Among these was included a fifteen year old boy, sentenced to three years by a juvenile court. 29 others were acquitted, in what was considered the largest trial of its kind in Egyptian history.

While there is no specific law against homosexuality in Egypt, prosecutors did not allow this to dampen their efforts. The two supposed leaders of the group, who received sentences of five and three years, were charged with 'propagating extremist ideas' using a false view of Islam as well as contempt of the Islamic faith. The court also accused them of having the 'aim of insulting the heavenly religious and sparking civil strife'. The remaining 50 were charged with 'practising debauchery with men', a charge usually reserved for prosti-

tution cases. All of the accused were themselves Muslims.

The defendants were tried in a state security court instead of a criminal court and consequently have no right to appeal the verdict, save by direct appeal from the Egyptian President, Hosni Mubarak. The state security court is used for matters of national security and was set up at a time of Islamic militant uprisings in Egypt.

However, there is an even more disturbing aspect to this case - this is the response of the local public. While international human rights organisations were up in arms over the course of the trial, the accused were unable to find much sympathy for their cause among the Egyptian public itself.

The Islamic religion vehemently disapproves of homosexual relations. While it may be practised discreetly in the comfort of one's own home, homosexuality has not yet ceased to be a taboo subject, with some refusing to even acknowledge its existence. It is often viewed as a contagious western disease, sparking fears that Egyptian morality and way of living may be undermined as more in the country are 'infected'. Many believe it is as a conse-

quence of such beliefs that the government has decided to crack down on the display of homosexuality in open society.

The public's opinions of this case may however have as much to do with the media's portrayal of the case as it does with the people's own perceptions. False reports of events aboard ‘The Queen’ Boat, including that of a gay wedding onboard did not soften public sentiment.

The names, occupations and addresses of the accused were published, making it difficult even for those acquitted to return to their everyday lives. Egyptian press also printed pictures of some of the defendants in Israeli uniforms, while one newspaper called for the death sentence to be handed down.

As a consequence of public, media and government opinion, human rights organisations in Egypt were hesitant to support their international counterparts' opposition to the trial, arguing that such support would undermine their efforts in other areas. Hisham Kassem, president of the Egyptian Organisation of Human rights echoed this sentiment.

“In my mind I have no doubt that this is a rights case, but sometimes you have to make tough decisions. We are already seen as fifth columnists who get money from abroad. If we defend [‘The Queen’ Boat case] we will be seen as introducing homosexuality to Egypt. It would kill the concept of human rights in Egypt” he said.

The persecution of homosexuals in Egypt has not ended with the verdict of this trial. The government has continued to arrest others, by for example setting up dates on gay websites and consequently arresting whoever shows up, as well as simply arresting people off the street.

As long as public opinion and the press continue to support the government's actions, it would unfortunately seem there is little outside organisations can do to halt the course of events. As long as homosexuality is unable to coexist with the Islamic religion, public opinion in Egypt is unlikely to change.

politics@vision.york.ac.uk

www.yorkvision.co.uk

Life after the Taliban A very broad-based government will be needed Tom Luthman WHILE ORDINARY Afghans may care more immediately about humanitarian aid than about politics, the subject occupying most Western politicians' minds is the next government of Afghanistan. A power vacuum has developed, and it seems almost impossible to find an acceptable replacement for the Taliban.

Conflict has been the norm in Afghanistan for centuries - if the country is not fighting a foreign power, such as Britain in the nineteenth century, or the Soviet Union in the twentieth, then internal factions fight amongst themselves.

After the defeat of the USSR in 1989, many countries (Pakistan, India, Iran, Russia, Turkey and others) fuelled the civil war that followed by supporting different warlords.

The first main problem faced by Western politicians is that Afghanistan comprises so many ethnic groups, whose relations with one another are not good.

Afghanistan is comprised of many ethnic groups, whose relations with one another are not good...

The Pathans, from whom the Taliban gain most of their support, are based mainly in the south and account for 38% of the population. The Northern Alliance is hardly representative of Afghanistan as a whole. It is made up of mainly minority northern groups, including Uzbeks, Tajiks, Hazaras and Shi'a Muslims. While all these groups are nominally on the same side, internecine fighting is common; for instance, the Hazaras trust the Tajiks so little that they have followed them into Kabul, in order to protect their own civilians in the city. It is difficult to envisage these groups forming a harmonious government.

Unfortunately for the West, the Northern Alliance does seem intent on taking control of the country, breaking a promise given to the US that it would not enter Kabul until a political solution was found. It was last in government during 1992-1996, after which it was overthrown by the Taliban, who swept to power because they represented the interests of militant Pathans. The Northern Alliance have already proved that they are little better than the Taliban - equally murderous and bloodthirsty, although without their religious fanaticism. Such a track record does not augur well for the future of Afghanistan.

The second fundamental problem is that so many outside parties have interests in the formation of the next Afghan government. The importance of Afghanistan's neighbours accepting its government cannot be overstated - in such a historically unstable area, support from outside the country is as crucial as from inside.

Pakistan does not want to see a Northern Alliance-dominated government, instead preferring moderate Taliban defectors - but, as the Alliance's foreign

minister, Abdullah Abdullah, was quoted as saying, "There is no such thing as a moderate Taliban". Uzbekistan and Tajikistan both want protection for their people within the country. Iran is seeking assurances over the safety of the minority Shi'a Muslims in the centre of Afghanistan.

These claims have to be taken seriously, especially Pakistan's - its support is crucial if there is any chance of lasting peace, and the Pathans who dominate the south of Afghanistan also form a sizeable proportion of Pakistan's population. Bush and Blair are well aware of the sacrifices Pakistan's leader, General Musharraf, has had to make thus far in order to support the West, and they will be keen not to stretch the situation further.

So these are the main problems what are the solutions? One idea, which seemed implausible at first, now has American backing: the return of the King.

Zahir Shah is a Pathan but with moderate tendencies, so he could feasibly attract broad support, and the Northern Alliance would probably accept him as a new ruler.

He was overthrown in 1973, and is now 86. Accession to the throne would be tricky after twenty years of war; it happened in Cambodia in 1993, but the outside pressures did not apply there as they do here. Iran is opposed to the imposition of the King, mainly because groups within Iran, hitherto disorganised, might rise up and demand the return of a monarchy, which was overthrown to make way for the Ayatollahs' theocracy in 1979.

Two key figures in reconciliation were Abdul Haq, a moderate Pathan, and Shah Massoud, a Northern Alliance commander, but both were recently killed by the Taliban. Probably the next best hope is Hamid Karzai, another Pathan, who wants to attract support from all ethnic groups, to set up a "Loya Jirga" - a kind of pan-tribal government. It is important, however, that any government is not seen as a Western imposition on Afghanistan, or it stands even less chance of working.

It is clear that a broad-based govern-

...for instance, the Hazaras trust the Tajiks so little that they have followed them into Kabul, in order to protect their own civilians in the city ment must be established, if we are to see an end to the fighting - Taliban supporters and Northern Alliance followers must both have a say in running the country.

Both groups have shown that they cannot govern effectively on their own. Even more obvious is that whatever government is created, its effects will be felt far beyond the war-wrecked landscape of Afghanistan.

www.yorkvision.co.uk

politics@vision.york.ac.uk

December 4th 2001 yorkVision

POLITICS : 11

These things take time

Reform of the House of Lords has been long awaited. David Slater looks at exactly how much of a difference the newly planned reforms will make ONE OF the many important announcements to be 'buried' beneath the atrocities being committed in Afghanistan has been the government's long awaited White Paper on the reform of the House of Lords. Ever since expelling the majority of the hereditary peers during their last term of office the Blair regime has been accused of doing a half-hearted job, of leaving the fate of the 'other place' unresolved. This White Paper is supposed to resolve this.

Reform of the House of Lords is one of those things that should have been done a long time ago, around 100 years to be accurate, if not before. The House of Lords is after all a throw back, a house of patronage and of an aristocratic political elite that has long since been overturned by a corporate/professional elite of businessmen and lawyers. After all the hereditary members of the House of Lords owed their seats primarily to their ancestors' generosity in giving money to James I when he was in a spot of bother.

Present day life peers of course are much more deserving and generally owe their positions either to large donations to our impoverished political parties or other dubious services rendered. Alternatively they could just be best mates with a party leader. Given this how could anyone oppose reform? Well 'oppose' might be too strong a word but while the government's reform programme is welcome it is half-hearted and essentially conservative.

At the heart of the government's reforms is a conservative proposition: "These proposals will deliver a House that

The aristocracy is slowly on its way out respects the continued pre-eminence of the House of Commons as the elected representatives of the people." In other words the House of Lords is to be the little brother of the Commons and is to be able to, at most, delay a bill by a year. The government claims that there is "no case" for the House of Lords to be given new powers or responsibilities. On the contrary, given the 'elective dictatorship' that this government, like the Thatcher government before it, has been able to establish on the support of around 25% of the voting population (at the last election) an increased role of the 'upper' house seems to be a pressing need.

That the House of Commons performs the same

role as a rubber stamp so long as the government can count on massed ranks of clones is unquestionable. What is really needed to end this situation is proportional representation for the Commons with the second chamber being elected much as the first is now. However Our Glorious Leader has decided that PR is far too democratic for this corporate utopia.

So we must make do with a voting system that leaves the vast majority of votes 'wasted' and which allows a government with the support of a minority of the voters to win two so-called 'landslide' victories. Of course the government had put it in their 1997 manifesto to hold a referendum on PR but that nice Mr Blair

tion on a day in which the 'sublets issue at the Glenrothes office' and 'the conduct of the First Minister' had been listed for debate in the Scottish Parliament.

This story has an all too familiar ring to it; corruption, of course, is virtually synonymous with politics. From the last Conservative government with Jeffrey Archer, Cecil Parkinson, Jonathan Aitken and Tim Yeo to New Labour's woes with Peter Mandelson and Geoffrey Robinson, you can bet that dodgy dealing is never too far away from our elected representatives.

However, in this case, something very odd has happened. McLeish actually resigned.

He was not forced to - on the contrary, Blair and Brown urged him to stay - and most people felt he could probably ride out the storm. Even his own aides were somewhat surprised that he refused to let it be made public that his late wife Margaret, who died of cancer in 1995, had handled his accounts and therefore could conveniently, and perhaps to large part truthfully, be blamed for the confusion.

But 'he said a flat no' recalled one, and this reluctance to blame others is also in evidence in his resignation speech: 'Others who work with me and for me have been criticised, but the ultimate responsibility is mine and mine alone. So I recognise the mistakes I have made.'

Donald Dewar, during his tenure as First Minister, often spoke of McLeish in disparaging terms, as one who could not 'handle trouble' and always 'hid behind the parapet' at the first sign of any. But perhaps what a politician mistakes for cowardice is in fact courage for the ordinary man. Perhaps 'hiding behind the parapet' means admitting wrong and accepting the consequences, rather than lying and scheming and brazenly ignoring the demands of the public in order to remain in office - the course of most politicians.

If this is the case, then McLeish's behaviour is to be welcomed and encouraged, especially as coming from the beleaguered Scottish Labour Party, which has been beset by corruption scandals for at least the last ten years including: the 1997 suicide of Gordon McMasters (Paisley South), in which a note left behind complains of bullying and corruption; the accusation in 1999 of the bribery of a rival

candidate in the 1997 election and interference with the electoral register on the part of Mohammed Sarwar; and most recently the complaint, upheld by the parliamentary commission, that John Reid, as Scottish Secretary, had intimidated witnesses giving evidence to an inquiry into the allegation that he had used taxpayers' money for the benefit of the Labour Party. Although the complaint was upheld by the commission, it was later overturned by the Labour-dominated standards and privileges committee: the corruption runs deep and many layered.

would never go back on promise, would he? Well that nice Mr Blair conveniently 'forgot' about PR roughly the moment the report into it was released, so much so that mention of a referendum commitment was erased from the manifesto at the last election.

So what we are left with is a House of Commons that is going to remain under the thumb of governments with large majorities and a House of Lords that will be unable to do much except delay legislation. It is true that Lords reform will mean that members will be selected in proportion of the number of votes received in a general election; and also some 120 (out of 600) members will be elected using PR. Finally no party will be allowed to gain an overall majority in the Lords. However while all this is welcome it is no substitute for full election and substantial autonomy from the party system. Members from the parties will still be fully 'whipped', and the recent disgusting treatment of the MP for Shrewsbury over his opposition to the war in Afghanistan shows how close 'whipping' is to being an accurate description.

They will still be selected by closed cliques of party officials on the whim of the leadership. Ultimately it is unlikely that they will express much more autonomy than the majority of MPs. Of course increasing substantially the power of the House of Lords and making every vote a 'free' vote hardly looks like an attractive solution. It sets up conflicts between upper and lower houses and ultimately might cause the whole system to grind to a halt. However given that proper

reform is not on the agenda ever since President Blair dumped PR for the Commons we are faced with a choice

The government's programme for reform is an improvement and is therefore welcome but it goes nowhere near far enough

between an ever more powerful executive or an elected House of Lords relatively independent of the party system.

Given the authoritarian tendencies of this government and the hideous implications of a Duncan-Smith government with substantial executive powers and an impotent House of Lords it seems to me that the later is preferable. The government's programme for reform is, it must be stressed, an improvement and is therefore welcome but it goes nowhere near far enough. Also, the tendency of this government to dress corrupt and authoritarian reforms up as democratic - of which elected mayors in local government is the prime example means that further developments must be watched very closely.

Sudden Change Europhobia Alice Curham

IT ALL happened so quickly that even after the election, the official Scottish Parliament website had not been updated, and a photo of a smiling Henry McLeish was placed proudly next to the legend 'FIRST MINISTER'. However, this title now belongs to Jack McConnell, previously Minister for Education, Europe and External Affairs.

And the reason for the abrupt downfall of McLeish? 'Hanover Court'; a rather grandiose name for his constituency

Out with the old... office, which he had been subletting without declaration since his inception as a Westminster MP in 1987. This meant that he was receiving both Commons expenses to pay for the running of his office, and rent from the various companies he housed there. When the scandal broke, McLeish admitted an 'error' and paid back ÂŁ9,000 of his own money to the Fees Office, covering the rent he would have received from 1998 - 2001. However, the rent from 1987 - 1998 had neither been reimbursed or clarified, with many Tory MSPs claiming upwards of ÂŁ40,000 was owed.

When it emerged that six parties, rather than the five McLeish had admitted, had rented the offices, the erstwhile First Minister was forced to tender his resigna-

...in with the new Although, admittedly, McLeish only resigned because he got caught, in such a climate it is a wonder he resigned at all, and therefore his honesty and openness ought to be applauded. Indeed, it - thankfully - seems to be catching, with the new First Minister Jack McConnell readily admitting to an extra-marital affair and scrupulously declaring his links to trade unions and their donations to his constituency party. Maybe this new attitude will gradually rid the Scottish Labour Party of its bad reputation, and make true the promise McConnell gave in his inaugural speech: 'The people of Scotland gave us their trust. And we must treat their trust with respect.'

Dimitrios Rovithis "BRITAIN HAS missed the European train several times so far." This is what prime minister Tony Blair said in a speech which is being considered as the strongest sign that the Labour government is for British participation in the European Monetary Union (EMU). In his speech at the European Research Institute in Birmingham, Mr Blair talked about "Atragedy of lost opportunities due to illusions about Britain", saying that the decision against its participation in the EMU was a major mistake from the beginning.

Blair admitted having maintained a policy of distance: "At the beginning we were saying that it will not happen, then that it will not be able to function properly and at the end Britain held back". He also reiterated the fact that his government will satisfy the basic economic criteria before he will proceed to a referendum on the issue.

The chief of the Labour party in the European Parliament, Mr Simon Murphy, argued that the message behind Mr Blair's speech is very clear, that is "The decision for Britain to join is inevitable". Mr. Blair rejected the idea that Britain must choose between its relationship with the United States and its relationship with the European Union, saying that "Our major target is to achieve both". His speech also proved false various rumors that the prime minister would postpone the referendum to the year 2005 so that it would coincide with the next general election.

The debate on whether or not Britain should join the Euro zone is old, well known and is one of the major issues that concern the British public. Without going too deeply, as they have been expressed several times in the passed, I will briefly outline the pros and cons of joining the Euro. Economists argue that the single currency is most obviously an economic project which will positively affect,

how to convince the british public directly, Britain's exchange rate and interest rates and, indirectly, jobs, trade, investment and economic growth.

However, these are exactly the reasons why the Euro has been fought against so much in Britain: since Britain's economic cycle has historically been out of phase with those of mainland Europe, those against joining argue that joining is especially bad for the United Kingdom.

In contrast, the economies of Belgium, the Netherlands and Austria were already so closely tied to that of Germany that the economic issues arising from uniting the currency were also less significant for them.

One more point that is very important is the fact that in Britain there is a lack of information about the Euro and its consequences. Many surveys in the popular press have shown that most British people feel too ill-informed to make an educated decision. This is in sharp contrast to Denmark, where citizens generally felt very well informed about it before rejecting it narrowly in a referendum.

All the above clearly state one thing: Mr. Blair wants Britain on the European train; and this will probably be the most important economic and political decision Britain will have to make in the first half of the twenty-first century.

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MEDIA

December 4th 2001 yorkVision MEDIA

One makeover too far?

Daytime legends Richard and Judy have just moved to prime-time Channel 4 after a bitter split with ITV. But, as Sarah Musa discovered, the new show is failing to impress critics or audiences This Morning’s weatherman, Fred, has lost two pairs of glasses in the Mersey. He has jumped from a prosthetic England to a prosthetic Ireland for over 1,500 broadcasts, without falling in. If you’re wondering who cares, a year ago the answer would be at least two million viewers.

Now, less than half of them would think it worthwhile to watch This Morning.

The show has been in helical decline since Richard and Judy abdicated from their thrones as the king and queen of morning TV. The format and content of the new show is dire, its appeal lying in Richard and Judy’s natural – and often faulted – commentaries. Handling first rate contemporary issues in a homely, slack and cringe-worthily frank manner somehow turned This Morning round into the most successful daytime show of its time, waving goodbye forever to its former prime contender, Good Morning with Ann and Nick. What other morning show could match Richard and Judy’s ‘Viagra Trials’, testicular self-examination demonstrations and Richard’s almost flawless mimicry of Ali G? In the show’s prime, viewers were in an often excited state. What would be a monumental innovation on today’s This Morning was run-of-the-mill in Richard and Judy’s day. Examples are a frantic streaker on Fred’s weather map, Lily Savage getting pissed during a small wine tasting feature, and a gossip with O.J. Simpson, post-trial.

The Finnigan-

Year ‘without gas and water,’ he sternly advocated stockpiling ten weeks worth of food. He then offered a cheeky peek into his own millennium cupboard, which contained food, medical supplies and candles.

Though tighter, today’s show seems hollow in comparison. John Leslie and Fern Britten lack the honest and indiscreet chatter their predecessors supplied.

Though Richard and Judy’s journalistic style is far from polished, their appeal as presenters places them amongst the most sought after in the country. The couple

Madeley reign lead to This Morning holding the record for the huighest number of oranges passed chin-to-chin and the most number of people in a mini. The thrills did not end there...

Yet with slack presenting came cases of audience panic, highlighting the problems of an over-directive and underresearched reporting style. Thursday 5th February, 1999, Richard Madeley declared himself a ‘millennium guru’ live to an inadvertent audience. Warning of a New

Did Ingram use a lifeline too many?

Jeremy Pannell

THE QUIZ show is the new fashion.

Inter-show rivalry is high, ratings are escalating and press coverage is big. It’s the new life support mechanism: without Eastenders, Ally McBeal, The Premiership and the ‘Anne Robinson ‘v’ Chris Tarrant’ debate, we would be lost. The quiz show is the TV equivalent of crack cocaine. Let the egos of pyscologists and scientists swell with news - we are a superior race because, at the end, of the day we’re a fickle lot. Put a few contestants in a studio with a personable host, tell them that there is hard cash up for grabs, and you’re away.

The producers are laughing all the way to the bank! They know we’ll watch: we’re a population motivated by greed.

Some of you probably think you’ve got what it takes. The intellect, nerves of steel and the necessary whiff of arrogance to win Who wants to be a Millionaire? fair and square. For the rest of us, the only other option is to view the programme from the comfort of a sofa, making glib comments about the fool in the hot-seat:

how could he not possibly know the number of three-legged trout-eating marsupials in Equador? For most, the million pound cheque is but a distant dream.

Supposing, however, you took it upon yourself to make that cheque yours, in spite of your inherent sense of what is proper and moral. Supposing you recognise that you didn’t have the brains to cruise through the gruelling ordeal.

Supposing you conspired to fool a nation.

Now, that does take nerves of steel and a whole load of arrogance. You haven’t got the necessary breadth of knowledge, so you rely instead on that hidden strand of deception that lurks within us all. Respect is due to those who think they can take on the nation’s favourite quiz show and the security firms that stand behind it. You have to agree the idea is enticing.

When Major Ingram, 37, his wife Diana, and apparent accomplice, Tecwen Whittock, a fellow contestant on the show that evening, were arrested for conspiracy to defraud, the puritans among us would have looked on shamefully. It is alleged by ‘Celador Productions’ that Ingram used

delaying tactics to give an accomplice time to relay answers by phone to someone in the audience. The audience member seemingly coughed to indicate the correct answer to the contestant. Such dishonesty! Such deceit! What does it say about mankind when security levels need to be intensified to the extent that the studio auto feed is scrambled to prevent anyone listening to proceedings on a scanner? Oh please, give the guy a break.

Cynics will think that Anne Robinson is currently looking smugger than ever and the reputation of Who wants to be a Millionaire? is on the line. But, this little scandal is intriguing everyone and that can’t be a bad thing for programme ratings. The quiz show is a drug; people won’t switch off due to the corrupt actions of contestants. It’s not in our nature. Most won’t question what our society has become - we are secretly inspired. Is the unthinkable possible?

Certainly, Ingram, currently on bail, denies the claim and has threatened to sue, denouncing the scandal as ‘bewildering and devastating.’ But, we cannot help but

have recently registered their forenames for merchandise and are currently writing a joint autobiography. It is not surprising that Channel Four snapped them up!

Their new show, however, is at its best passable. Richard and Judy at 5pm every weekday on Channel Four has been described by The Times as ‘bland banter with your beans on toast’ and more caustically as ‘train wreck TV.’ ‘A mess but you can’t avert your eyes’ says The Observer.

The opening music is racier than This Morning’s, the set less cosy and our hosts more sexily dressed. Yet the format and content is surprisingly reminiscent of their former show. Something was lacking though. Watching Richard and Judy for the first and only time only one feature stays in mind: Richard asked audience members to record their partners snoring, and he promised to play the funniest ones the next day.

It seems what appeals to the bored housewife, unemployed depressive, quirkseeking student, old dear and poorly child has no place in the prime-time slot. Who remembers Judy Finnigan in the show Scramble, or Richard Madeley’s predominant role in The Eye of the Storm? Richard and Judy belong on This Morning, and I for one refuse to compromise. The new show may be a hit, who knows? Yet while between 5,000 – 170, 000 called the couple on their morning show, I doubt so many will be eager to play their fat husband’s comedy snoring on prime-time TV.

Major Tim Ingram think that this is just part of his calculated act to fool. If he is found guilty, then he may conclude that things have gone horribly pear-shaped. Regardless, he had the bottle to try, and that is simply a more exciting way to win. Secretly, we harbour the ambition to steal others’ riches by deceiving the world. It’s the ultimate crime - think The Italian Job. So, some guy may walk away with a cheque that is not rightfully his, but in my book, that is a job well done. Best of luck Major Ingram.

: 12

Ready for Despatch Laura Hamilton ON THE Record, Dispatch Box and Question Time - what do these titles mean to you? For many of us, I would imagine the answer would be ‘not a lot.’ In fact, a fair few blank expressions might well greet such a question. We are all familiar with Panorama, but how many of us have actually watched the programme recently, let alone know the programme’s transmission time, channel etc. I would hazard a guess at the answer being fairly few.

Yet, it is the question mark over the future of such programmes that has made those who follow them aware of a quiet, yet significant storm brewing at the BBC in recent months. It has recently come to light that the news discussion shows On the Record and Dispatch Box are facing the axe, following a review of the corporation’s so-called ‘worthy’ transmissions.

The official word is that On the Record halted filming in October to make way for topical, in-depth reportage on events in Afghanistan, in the form of a new programme entitled The War Report. But, according to BBC insiders, the return of the 30 year old programme to its usual slot is looking decidedly gloomy.

The BBC has struggled to win the an ongoing ‘ratings war’ against its main competitor, ITV. It is sadly ironic that now the BBC has finally managed to gain the edge over its rival, for the first time in many years, it is preparing to drop several of the most intellectual programmes to grace its studios. But, as with everything in today’s consumerist society, the revenue of the large-scale broadcast corporations is governed by ratings and viewers.

What makes the announcement more bemusing is the fact that the horrific events of September 11th seemed, in a most paradoxical sense, to have afforded television ‘another chance’ of cultivating a desire to follow current affairs. Viewing figures for programmes documenting the terrorist attacks and their immediate consequences, such as Panorama and Correspondent, rose. It was even, to the surprise of the broadcasting companies, young people who made up the missing numbers. For a while, it seemed the unbelievable events that resulted from the fanaticism of terrorists had ironically provided ‘serious television’ with a positive future and a possible way of rescuing the general public from their mindless docusoap-induced stupor, But, the recent

VISION’S WRAP OF THE HEADLINE-MAKING STORIES FROM UNIVERSITIES NATIONWIDE

The

accommodation crisis at Lancaster University is finally drawing to an end. Sixty students remain in shortterm accommodation, and some freshers have even had to stay with the Vice-Chancellor himself. Admissions Officers revealed last week that the crisis was largely due to massive over-subscription. Admission targets have increased dramatically in an attempt to “recoup the financial loss from last year, when many residences stood empty.” The number of rooms available to freshers was gravely over-estimated. Consequently, contingency rooms that were reserved for second and third year students had to be let to freshers. The crisis was made worse by the university’s intensive marketing campaign to capture foreign students, who were all also promised on-campus accommodation. Lancaster University hopes to avoid a repeat crisis next year by only guaranteeing accommodation to those students who firmly accepted their UCAS offer. The Agriculture Society of Newcastle Agriculture Chairman, Rob Mercer, University could be facing a thousand claimed: “It wasn’t meant to cause any pound fine after it published anti-gay harm. We saw it as light-hearted fun, but posters advertising a cross-dressing pub it didn’t come across that way.” Mercer crawl. The Chairman of the society also said that the posters were removed admitted to The Courier that he and some and replaced by alternatives as quickly as friends were responsible for the posters, possible. On record, Mercer has also which read that all were welcome “except stated that gay people would be welcome faggots.” The posters were displayed in in the Agriculture Society, as “everyone’s pubs and department buildings. As many welcome. We’re a friendly society.” But, as possible were removed by an angry he also admits to not knowing any openly student, who brought them to the attention gay members. The society is barred from of LGB Officers, Ruth Conroy and James the Union building until a decision is Hecker. Hecker commented that he was reached. “concerned that the posters might make people feel uncomfortable.” In response,

Staff at the Newcastle club, Legends, are offering a size-

The Student Press

able reward for the safe return of their mascot, which was stolen in a suspected student prank. Although the club was giving out free goodies at its tequila night, pranksters still insisted on running off with a six foot wooden mascot, designed to advertise the event. The thieves are thought to have stolen the mascot whilst bouncers were distracted at the end of the evening of Tuesday 23 October. The students must have untied the worm from its protective railings outside the club, and then made a run for it. The Tequila Nationwide team are keen to see the safe return of their worm for sentimental reasons. Although the culprits were probably caught on video surveillance cameras, they fear that they will still not be able to track them down. Of the worm is brought back undamaged, a free bottle of Tequila is up for grabs, along with a year’s free entry into the club.

Almost six hundred students partici-

pated in a seven-hour lecture marathon , organised to discuss and debate the terrorist attacks on New York’s World Trade Centre on September 11 as well as the on-going war in Afghanistan. More than three hundred students and some forty lecturers expressed extreme outrage at America’s continued military action as they joined thousands of angry protesters at the CND rally in London. An US state official attempted to justify the war at a roundtable talk organised by the SOAS Islamic Society, trying to counter the arguments of George

Galloway MP and other distinguished academics. An US government official has not been present at a talk of such a calabor before. The general consensus has suggested that the SOAS Islamic Society hosted an “exceptional night of debate,” which provided everyone - state officals, students and academics alike - with much pause for thought. The SOAS Islamic Society have acted upon students who voted overwhelmingly against the War on Terrorism. Furthermore, the college union has also registered some five hundred members to its anti-war group.

announcements regarding Dispatch Box and On the Record imply a different story.

What many would term ‘viewer apathy’ the non-discriminate watching of ‘whatever’s on’ - is not a phenomenon that can be reversed easily. Today, many popular programmes, such as The Weakest Link, rely on a basis of cruelty and ridicule to attract and maintain viewers. It seems that television, in the opinion of those viewersm, is only at its most enjoyable and ‘clever’ when someone is being put down, a la Anne Robinson or Jeremy Paxman.

As Sir Vidia Naipaul, winner of this year’s Nobel Prize for Literature, put it: “It is terrible, this very plebeian culture, an aggressive plebeian culture that celebrates itself for being plebeian.”

Does evidence of slumps in recent viewing figures of news-related programmes show that the older generations have failed to spawn children who are concerned by the most important current affairs? While this is a huge generalisation, there will be many who have already turned-off reading this article by the mere mention of news-related issues in the first lines. No-one is suggesting that we should become avid viewers of every news programme. But, do we really want a culture where Big Brother evictions are considered ‘The News’?

14 : LIFESTYLE yorkVision

Hit Or Miss?

Pete Biggs TARGET Casa nachos – Ok, so they cost £6, but why not share with friends?

Toffs on a Tuesday – The new place to be (apparently) Hair dye – Brighten up your life in the winter months with a dose of noxious chemicals. The shortcut to a new look, or so our Lifestyle Editor tells us…

The Evening Press ‘Now and Then’ section – For the classic “I didn’t know that you used to be able to park/drive/walk/work in a beer bottling factory there” moment The Core – Channel 5’s teenage programming has a drama where the school kids sleep with each other!

And they make jokes about the male presenter getting ‘excited’! Mary Whitehouse will be turning in her (freshly dug) grave ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’ at the Theatre Royal – A whole new slant on Tang Hall jokes Escaping for Christmas – Sun’s no fun for a cool Yule but we hear Iceland’s nice at this time of year. No, not the supermarket

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December 4th 2001

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LIFESTYLE Cracking Sites for Xmas Serial Shopaholic Naomi Jackson delves into the world of sex, bags, and... erm, doggy pyjamas. Shop on your backside this Christmas WHAT IS it with Christmas? Year after year I end up scurrying franticly through the shops in town on that last-minute dash for the perfect (honestly anything goes) present for Mum, Dad, Brother, Aunt Glyn, Aunt Shayne, Cousin Danielle….

You get the picture. Last year this resulted in everyone receiving a floating candle set from BHS- hardly inspiring.

But it doesn’t have to be like this- with less than three weeks to go and exams and essays looming over all our heads there is a solution. Determined to prove my flair for buying original and funky gifts I have tracked down the best websites for Christmas presents and pampering. All this from the warmth of Vanbrugh computer room.

cally for hair colour.

Both camomile (for lighter hair) and madder root (for dark shades) smell divine. Kerastase shampoo also works wonders especially on dry hair. www.iwantoneofthose.com This website sells itself as having loads of stuff you don’t need but that you really, really want. It’s all true- this is kitsch paradise.

With items grouped in price categories starting at under £10 those on tight budg-

ets will not have to miss out. If you know that all your friend really really wants this Christmas is someone to share it with than a small payment of £6.99 can make their wish come true. The instant internet boyfriend or girlfriend, how cheesy. www.firebox.com Boys’ toys. Pure and simple. If you are really stuck for what to buy the lads this year you’ll get plenty of inspiration here.

I love the Mathmos tumbler lamp at

www.asseenonscreen.com Okay, ever looked at a celebrity and thought ‘I want that top’? Yes, of course you have. Well here is the perfect place to find it. This site specialises in finding identical or affordable versions of clothes seen on celebrities.

Frankly, it’s a bit sad trying to look like a carbon copy of anyone but if it’s a one-off party piece or gift you are after this site comes up trumps.

Boasting a dress similar to the one Helen Adams wore on her Big Brother eviction night- wow! As well as loads of look-a-like’s of pop princess Kylie’s togs, this site is fab.

£39.95. As described on the site it’s a ‘glowing pulsating brick’. However if that doesn’t catch your fancy there’s heaps of over stuff to fawn over. www.directcosmetics.com This site buys in bulk and can offer you up to 10% off brands such as Clarins, Calvin Klein and Chanel. Your female relatives will love you eternally.

www.petplanet.co.uk If you are one of those people who don’t want to leave out Dolly Woo Woo, your adorable cat, at Christmas than visit here.

It’s designer fashion for pets! I couldn’t resist the pink bunny pyjamas for my Yorkshire Terrier at £15.99. After all if Geri’s beloved dog Harry can wear designer jumpsuits so too can my pooch.

This site will certainly please all the animal lovers this Christmas. www.annsummers.co.uk Whatever your sex there must be something on this site to satisfy you. There is a whole variety of pretty underwear as well as the more exotic variety and the Ann Summers staple- the nurse’s outfit.

You can also find a multitude of sex toys in a rainbow of colours and range of sizes.

For you Sex and the City fans this site sells Charlotte’s rabbit- yes, that sex toy she got addicted too! A word of warningbe prepared for some very funny looks from others in the computer room when browsing through this site! www.anyahindmarch.com Ok, a girl can dream, but a request for one of these beautiful bags is definitely going in my letter to Santa.

www.hqhair.com Everyone loves hair products and this site has got all the big names in hair care…

Tigi, Aveda and Fudge. The site also boasts Bloom products, who if you don’t already know, make fantastic lip-glosses.

Paying more than a couple of quid for shampoo may seem expensive and as a present it may not look much. But trust me-your friends will love you forever.

I have used this site several times before and can personally recommend Aveda’s range of shampoos made specifi-

That’s it folks! The definitive list of websites to bring festive cheer to all your friends and family. Oh, and I ought to mention that Christmas isn’t all about presents and that its way too commercialised…blah de blah…Oh and don’t forget that gorgeous gold wrapping paper.

How to Rest in Peace this winter AVOID Casa drinks prices – If I wanted to pay London prices, I’d go to London.

Speaking of which…

FCUK drinks – Any bottle that costs £2.70 in the Old White Swan must be a con Loving your children as much as Madonna – “It’s like losing one of your children”, states the Material Girl, whilst handing over a painting to the Tate Modern Cher – If her glittering visage doesn’t finish you off, her new single will probably bore you to death ‘Baby Wee Wee’ – It’s a baby with a willy, which well, urinates. This scarily realistic doll trend could go too far – baby cot death anyone?

So Solid Crew – GBH isn’t nice Ikon on Monday – It’s too cold for waiting for a bus. In clubwear

Laura Hamilton IT’S GETTING to that time again when the weather’s nearly always gloomy, there’s a distinct chill in the air and soon we’ll be dragging ourselves to those Godforsaken 9.15s when it looks as though it’s still night-time outside.

With this prospect in mind, am I the only person feeling the creeping onset of those pre-winter blues? I thought not.

True, the end of term is growing near, but - for those freshers who are innocent to the full strength of the winter in York, here’s the bad news - it only gets colder. Much colder.

By the time it gets to February - and I for one am dreaming of a white Valentine’s Day - we might wish we had something a little more original to do to keep our spirits high than the usual excursions to pub and club. OK, so maybe some of you won’t.

Not that there’s anything wrong with Toffs, of course - it’s just as a wisened third year who is faced with the prospect, in not too many months from now, of leaving this lovely, quirky old place (and by that I refer to the city, not the University) I’ve begun to truly appreciate what York has to offer that other towns don’t, and I’m not just talking about a pub for each day of the year.

So, through not quite rose-tinted but already quite wistful spectacles, it’s my aim to cram as much experience of this lovely place in before the hallowed event of graduation is upon me (or will hopefully be upon me with a bit of luck and some hard work).

But it’s never too soon to start warding off the impending Seasonal Affective Disorder that affects so many thousands of people each year, and one way of doing this is surely to change some of our usual

habits, to explore new haunts and things to do outside the usual work, drinking, clubbing, college sport etc.

When the season is fully upon us, having found a new interest - especially something that is unlike anything else we do, may feel like a breath of fresh air, keeping us motivated when we have to work, and

every week at The Friends’ Meeting House in York - classes run by Anna Semlyen for around £4 a session. Both ‘Hatha’ and ‘Ashtanga’ (- a more energetic form of yoga for those who are fit and in very good health) are taught, and for £10 per week you can go to an unlimited number of classes! Phone 01904 654355 for details

Jiu-Jitsu How would you like to throw people around three times a week, and not get arrested for it?

Well, you get the chance at Jiu-Jitsuheld in the sports hall on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday evenings. After warming up you learn “the art” (?) of fall-

stopping that feeling of lowness that comes when we feel we’re stuck in a rut.

Here are a selection of some of the more interesting things you can do and clubs you can join, both in and around York. Go on, take some time out for yourself to do something you’ve never done before - you’ll probably be glad you did.

of classes.

ing and rolling, before getting some hands on experience. All this for £1.50 after initial joining fee.

Yoga To raise dropping energy levels, reduce that essay-induced stress and apathy, and basically to completely chill out by focussing your mind, why not try a Yoga class.

These are run periodically on campus, and

Walk the walls Every student should do this, as well as being a cultural experience it is a perfect way to forget about modern life and get back some 1000 years. The air is cleaner above York, and as a way to go round the centre it is much more relaxing. The walls are open Monday-Saturday dawn till dusk and afternoons on Sunday. This is also the cheapest stress-reducing exercise- it’s completely free!

The Minster Ok, so you might not believe in God but York Minster is still worth a visit. A wander round the beautiful thirteenth century building will make anyone feel relaxed.

The Minster is especially pleasant at Christmas, the ringing bells and choral voices have a timeless quality that exude peace and calm.

The carol service should definitely not

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December 4th 2001 yorkVision

LIFESTYLE : 15

Macho (Moisturising) Man

Daniel Goldup swaggers down to town in search of grooming products that will inspire Adonis-like male perfection.

Well, it’s worth a try...

works best on longer hair, giving it a real lift. If you want Sex Pistols-type spikes then this is the only way to go.

THERE WAS a time when Boot’s was for women. Days when the wife would chuck in some Old Spice and shaving cream into the trolley at Sainsbury’s during the weekly shop are over. Men were either too embarrassed to buy grooming products or

King of Shaves Range (from £4.69) These shaving gels are fantastic; once you have used them you will never return to cream. They have the benefit of being transparent so you can actually see where you need to shave once you’ve applied.

just didn’t see the point. Men were supposed to be rugged, unkept, smelly, right?

It’s primeval, and ladies love it.

Wrong. Apart from a few girls who would snog a bloke before he’d finished off his cheesy chips at Toffs, women want

a bit more effort from their man.

It’s not just for the girls (and boys) though. All guys want to make the most of what they’ve got, whatever that is.

There is more pressure these days, standards have been pushed up by thelet’s call it ‘feminisation’- of male culture through the likes of David Beckham, Jude Law, and various boy bands. These men have been labelled ‘nancies’ and ‘poofs’ but that hasn’t stopped them bedding some of the most sought after women in the public eye.

No longer is the ideal of male beauty the rugged look of the 1980s that photographers like Herb Ritts and Mondino captured. For now at least it is the pretty-boy, well shaven and immaculately groomed, cheekbones-‘n’-all look that is dragging girls wilfully between crisp Habitat sheets.

For your benefit, Vision has listed some of the best products around.

Christmas is the perfect time if you fear losing face over it (no pun), put them on Santa’s list and let someone else get them for you.

Charles Worthington Impact Post Shave Moisturiser (£6.25) This will hydrate and protect your skin.

Contains anti-oxidants to help prevent lines and wrinkles, and apparently ‘help speed up skin cell renewal’. Right.

Fcuk pre shave wash (£4) Fcuk seems to have its eyes on world

Toxin Drain James Hotson

DO YOU ever wake up (late) and shout at the birds for singing, or the porter for whistling whilst the little local children skip and frolic innocently in the street and

the village wenches sweat behind their mangles wringing out their linen?

Do you remember the last time you woke up before 9am without a hangover and a grudge against the timetabling office? Do you remember when you last had two consecutive days without alcohol (June 1999).

Then perhaps it’s time you tried a detox to get all those nasty toxins out of your body and mind, leaving you feeling invigorated, revitalised and as fresh as a daisy.

Detoxification could be the answer to your problem. It may sound daunting, but it really is easy and well worth trying.

After all, you only need do it for a week.

The whole point of detoxification is that

your body is renewed, like recharging a mobile phone.

By definition, detoxification is not a process that can continue ad infinitum – you must toxify first so there’s something to get rid of (this is a good excuse for a food and alcohol binge).

domination á la Disney and Coke. They have been branching out and show no signs of slowing down. This clear foaming gel with added moisturiser softens stubble, making shaving easier. Ideal if you suffer from redness after shaving.

ground walnut which smooths away dead skin cells from the face.

Also contains something called bilberry which apparently ‘increases your skin’s cell turnover’. Someone hand me ‘Biology for Beginners’ please.

Michaeljohn menspa daily detox clay face mask (£4.50) This clay formula is soap free, and is designed for daily use. It rids the face of toxins, oil and dirt, and contains anti-bacterial agents to leave the face cleaner than a nun’s track record. I won’t even begin to go into the poncey Wagnerian size of its ingredients- though it contains kaolin, vitamins and mineral water. None of that tap rubbish then.

Botanic’s Cleansing Scrub (£3.50 Boot’s only) A quick word of warning about this range though, great as it is. While it’s by-line is the ‘pure power of plants’ a quick look at its ingredients reveals that there is more besides organic matter in it. contains

Aveda range (£11.99 from Fenwick’s) ‘At Aveda, we strive to set an example for environmental leadership and responsibility, not just in the world of beauty, but around the world’. Don’t let this Lennon inspired CND-type hippie talk put you off.

The products contain no chemicals to damage your hair. They smell better than any other shampoo and totally cleanse your hair of any product you use, leaving it easier to style next time.

Dax styling wax (£2.99) This is the king of hair products, it is so strong that you can forge any style or shape you choose for your mop (you could probably cement bricks together, too). It

The Beautiful couple They give an amazingly smooth shave.

The menthol gel is the best. It cools the skin as soon as the razor has been scorched it. It also has a really minty smell, which also has the advantage of clearing a blocked nose.

Disappointed with the plans available on the web, which were mainly reviews of books available on detox, I devised my own on the following simple principles: · Drink lots of water (about 2 litres per day, without juice added) · Eat lots of fruit and steamed vegetables (a variety, and fruit juices count too!) · Get plenty of fibre (granary bread, Riveta, etc. This really flushes you out.) · Avoid red meat, fried food, starchy food and carbohydrates. · Avoid dairy products, except for drinking skimmed milk as a source of calcium. · Try Alcuin's 'Food for Keeping Fit' menu, although I advise against the 'Cajun Chicken Salad' - detox doesn't mean redecorating the bar walls with your stomach lining. · NO ALCOHOL.

At first you might feel hungry, but I found that by Day 2 I got into the swing of things and had no problems. Until Friday, that is. Unfortunately, I chose the worse possible week for detox.

I was invited to three parties, and by Friday simply gave in and shared three bottles of wine, some gin and a bottle of blue WKD with a friend. However, I felt marvellous and it was a really good way of letting oneself go at the end of a stress(and alcohol-) free week.

I supplemented my detox plan with going to the gym every other day (sweating is a really good way of opening the pores to get rid of toxins) and used an exfoliating facewash every evening. This made me feel bouncy and vibrant.

If you do go on a detox, remember not to overdo it. As part of the detox you may be excluding vital nutrients from your diet, which is why you can’t be on detox indefinitely. Good luck!

We don’t need snow for a white Christmas this year, any boy or girl who knows what’s what will be strutting their stuff in tailored whte suits. After all, if Kylie wears them they must be cool. From selected stockists across York.

16 : FEATURES yorkVision

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features@vision.york.ac.uk

December 4th 2001

Navigating the world with a shredded atlas

www.yorkvision.co.uk

In a world where there is so much movement between political and cultural boundries, Jamie Khoo talks to York’s Writer-in-Residence, Ashok Mathur, about how writing and art forms contribute to making the marginalised voice heard IT IS increasingly easy to see that the globe is now so clearly split in two, where each opposing side dreams of their ideal world because clearly, what we have now doesn't seem to be working does it? In dealing with art in its many forms, the age old question of defining how life is reflected in art (or vice versa) arises. Is this too idealistic? Do we actually have any space left in the world to work out our visions?

Ashok Mathur, a South Asian Canadian writer was recently in York for three weeks as part of the Foundland Project, an experimental project involving four writers of different cultural and ethnic backgrounds that seeks to make the process of writing more interactive and aims to recreate the spaces formed by cultural and national boundaries. The second leg of the project will be conducted as a 'virtual residency' over the Internet which Ashok will facilitate from back home in Canada.

Having been born in India before migrating with his parents to Canada as a child, and having lived on and off in Britain, Ashok's writing looks particularly at the ideas of movement, diasporas (dispersion or migration of groups of people) and defining cultural identities in a postcolonial world. His latest book, The Short Happy Life of Harry Kumar is a rewriting of Hindu mythology that traces an unlikely hero on a jaunt across the globe, reworking in the process, old stories, time and mythical notions of truth and exploring the world in the contexts of incarceration, movement, immigration and indigeneity.

The director of the Foundland project, Steve Dearden, explained that the starting point of the project was "An atlas ripped up and given to the designer. An atlas bridges the real and the imagined… it transforms reality into imagination so that we might navigate reality." The cynical, skeptical student that I am questioned whether the world has become too small now; whether there is actually any space left to 'navigate' in a world so imbued with McDonalds, the Internet and globalisation. But Ashok is confident we can redress concerns with the world through a poetic voice. "I think we can create utopic or dystopic worlds in our poetry and fiction, not as a panacea to the world's problems, but as a potential vaccine. Here, read this, think of this, and if you think it's viable, let's act on it. Survival of the world depends not on us simply willing or wanting to survive, but on the creative ways we might imagine this survival."

In terms of individuals' choices to navigate, how does the physical act of movement and migration embody and enhance issues of a global identity? "The sense of being a migrant is the sense of current notions of identity and citizenship.

Crossing borders becomes an act of physical and imaginary dimensions. Who moves freely across these arbitrary lines?

How do we, as individuals relate to class and capital? These are all heightened concerns in the so-called globalised vision of free trade, world trade organisations and labour."

It is perhaps so particularly engaging talking to a writer like Ashok because of the way in which his cultural identity is so complexly composed. We look to countries like America and Canada as melting pots because of the racial, cultural diversities they boast but then who do these citizens align themselves with culturally and nationally and where do call 'home'?

Ashok identifies himself as 'South Asian'

Ashok isn't one of those puffed up, self-aggrandising writers all set to preach to the masses about writing and the rest of the universe. Writing, for him, is not as much about influencing his readers as encouraging them to "explore certain ideas that, I hope readers will find engaging. I hope to create an atmosphere whereby readers find themselves thinking through ideas that they may have thought of before" but ‘South Asia’ is not a country, not even a readily-defined region, so it exists in a non-nation type of imaginary, which I think is important in acts of self-definition. Add to that the multiplicity of colonisers and settlers within Canada and you find yourself on the fringes of the nation's established cultural identities. "Canada has readily become my home country. And yet I find myself perceived as a recent migrant, that owing to the politics of race and identity that construct Canada as a land settled by two 'founding nations,' the French and the English. Add a layer to that, that French/English colonizers settled a land 'already' inhabited by native inhabitants."

And so it matters that the minoritised voices are made to be as much a part of the cultural make- up of the nation and the (postcolonial) world as the 'ancestral countries' and big old seats of empire. But do these voices surpass racial and cultural stereotypes imposed through the conventions and expectations of the colonisers?

"In the mid-80s in Canada, there was a mainstream expectation I think that minoritised voices tell certain stories and in certain ways. It was a type of oppression-based narrative [and] was allowed entry only through conventional, often boring forms. But I think we've moved now to a place whereby a multiplicity of voices, both in content and form are making themselves present, which means a complex reality is starting to be told in 'alternative' ways."

Challenging the bigger voices to hear the smaller ones isn't however, the only means through which Ashok questions the expectations and beliefs of a world that is being increasingly forced to adopting universal rules and conventions. He experiments with the very act of writing, believing that in doing so we can "reclaim the past in an altogether unfamiliar way." In the three weeks that he was here at York, Ashok explored the possibilities of dealing with the "inevitable question of frac-

ture time, of limited time." His writing project entitled 'Yrk cnsnnts' 'numbers' each of his 21 days at York with the 21 consonants (or cnsnnts) of the alphabet, which are then used to begin a poem or poetic fragment written each day, starting from B and ending in Z. Ashok has also played with the concepts of 'animated poetry' where poetic fragments are designed to flicker cross a computer screen and change in form and colour, and where the animation and movement is more significant than the words themselves. "In a way this is a discovery of structure," he explained, "Start with a set of rules, however arbitrary, and then play along with them. It tells us something, I think about the arbitrary natures of rules that govern our existence."

Mighty philosophical for the average student who has just rolled out of bed and is probably skimming through t h i s bleary eyed as y o u chomp down your cornflakes.

But Ashok isn't one of those puffed up, selfaggrandising writers all set to preach to the masses about writing and the rest of the universe.

Writing, for him, is not as much about influencing his

readers as encouraging them to "explore certain ideas that, I hope readers will find engaging. I hope to create an atmosphere whereby readers find themselves thinking through ideas that they may have thought of before."

In response to what he has gained from his experiences at York and the Foundland project, he is enthusiastic about having met and "[engaged] greater numbers of people that I might not normally interact with" and about the experiences of movement and 'diasporic stories' shared between the other writers of the project, Jack Mapanje, Hiromi Goti and Maya Chowdhry. "I regret that I'm leaving just when the energy is beginning to flow.

But," he concludes with an optimistic flourish, "such is the reality, I think, in a disaporic world."

www.yorkvision.co.uk

features@vision.york.ac.uk

Butch ado about nothing

December 4th 2001 yorkVision

WHAT DO women want? Well, the answer to that will be covered in my forthcoming book Understanding Ladies, soon to be published in thirty-five separate volumes. But more specifically, what kind of a chap floats Miss 2001's boat?

What makes a Real Man in this increasingly soft focus world?

Unquestionably, the all singing, dancing and whinging Robbie Williams is one of the nation's biggest heterosexual sex symbols. It is common for females both disgracefully young and old to openly profess their desire to administer him a thorough monstering.

And yet, every time he opens his mouth he reveals something at odds with his reputation for being such female cat-

nip. For Robbie Williams is, in fact, as camp as a row of pink tents.

This is, in itself, evidence of nothing.

Effeminate chaps have been securing the "ooh what a nice young man" vote since long before figure hugging tank tops were readily available. But in past decades, this has been reliably offset by the reassuring presence of gruff, no-nonsense men's men on stage and screen.

Caveman-browed grunts who light their matches on their chins. Musclebound fools who serve as an excellent example to the rest of us - never trust a man with a neck thicker than his head.

Lumbering, emotionally constipated clowns they may, but heroes to us all nonetheless. Arnie in his prime never tit-

ted around with the complexities of modern life. He just shot things.

Clint Eastwood may have looked gloomy, but he was happy doing what he did best - shooting things, walking menacingly and befriending troublesome orangutans.

Russell Crowe has made a valiant attempt to be brainlessly entertaining, but it's not nearly enough.

The reasons why Big Grrr Men are a necessity in any society are complex. Of course, on a base level men want to shoot stuff too and women want to be gently roughed up by such alpha-males.

But beyond this, the truth is that the male population needs a stable example, even if the example is a ludicrous one. For

perceptions of the state of mankind shift so often as to be extremely confusing for the more impressionable amongst us.

In the early nineties, the New Man was born. This was the result of Sunday supplements seizing upon the revelation that some men do housework, and do not entirely hate shopping.

In the minds of the chattering classes, the urgent conversion of common or garden Old Men into New led to an emasculated nation, as formerly stout fellows minced around in marigolds, writing poetry or weeping over kitten's whiskers.

An urgent response was needed, before we all turned French or something.

It came in glossy form, as the rise of Loaded and its kin spawned the New Lad. Marigolds and poetry were burnt, replaced by tasty pints and pornography. Then came the hangover, as the New Lad changed into Sad Waster.

All a load of toss, of course - but sadly, such attitutudes quickly become self-fulfilling prophecies. The journey from the Sunday Times Magazine to advertising agencies, publishers, TV commissioners and record labels is a rapid one.

The cultural output of the age quickly spirals in on itself. And for those of us who happily absorb it all, it is very easy to end up mystified.

But it is not all one-way traffic - as much nonsense is written about the problems afflicting the modern woman as the modern man. These, however, are generally tangible issues, concerning matters such as balancing motherhood and career, or inequality in the workplace.

Pieces on the current 'state of man'

Russell: Brainless

Arnie: Butch

Robbie: Camp

Clint: Brooding

What makes a real man in this increasingly soft-focus world? What kind of chap floats Miss 2001’s boat? With his background in sports journalism, Gareth Owens should be the man to tell us. Will he find an answer to this elusive question?

War against ourselves?

American Muslims protest against the war TIM JACOBY was sitting on the floor of the York Mosque in Bull Lane. We had just broken the day's fast, and were discussing the effect that recent events in the US and Afghanistan were having on the Muslim community in Britain.

As a PhD student of Turkish Politics, his views were of particular interest to me.

"There are two schools of thought:" he began, "One is that the attacks on America have created national debate, and brought the issues of the Muslim community to the forefront. The second is that this has brought a lot of racism out of the woodwork.

“I think British society has been polarised by recent events. It has forced people who might otherwise have been apathetic about Muslims to take a stand."

I asked him if he thought that the

Muslim community supported the US-led military campaign against Afghanistan.

"Everyone knows that no Afghans were responsible for the attacks on America," he replied, "I think there's a consensus among Muslims in Britain that this is an act of vengeance on a weak country."

Over the next few days I conducted several interviews with other Muslims around York. Although they all opposed the Taliban (often calling them 'un-Islamic') and were insistent that the atrocities the US suffered were inexcusable, none of them supported the military campaign against Afghanistan. Furthermore, they all said they didn't know of any Muslims who did.

Why was there such a consensus among Muslims in this country? Had not

FEATURES : 17

Arnie in his time never titted around with the complexities of modern life. He just shot things

tend to be based around the fundamentally creaky male psyche, whether we supposedly be currently washing up or wearing traffic cones on our heads.

It has to be assumed that the big hard film fellas are not coming back. We're on our own, lost without guidance. Women know the score: that the vast majority of us are delusional softies who aren't nearly as tough as we'd love to think.

But to accept such an unpleasant reality would be a disaster. Half the country would slip into a profound machodeprived depression. So the only thing for it is for women to take matters into their own hands.

If you don't want your menfolk to lose their lust for life, do your bit. All it would take would be the occasional comment, such as "My, have you been working out?" or "You must be really clever to know that much about football".

Yes, we are sad, malleable creatures.

If only life was simple and we all had bazookas it wouldn't have to be that way.

But without a steady guiding hand, it's so much harder to know what kind of a New Person you're supposed to be this morning.

Gareth: Grrrrrrr

How have local Muslims reacted to the War on Terror?

Sharif Hamadeh spoke to key members of York’s Islamic community, and found them increasingly suspicious and hostile to the action against Afghanistan Tony Blair and George Bush gone out of their way to stress that this was a war against terrorism, and not a war against Islam?

It seems not everyone is convinced.

Rawaad Mahyub, Chair of the Islamic Society at York, was cynical about the rhetoric of Western leaders. "I don't think it's a war against terrorism," he said, "I think it's a war against Islam.

“In Bush's list of terrorists, every name was a Muslim name, or that of a Muslim organisation. Some were even charities. If you are going to draw up a list of terrorists, it should include all terrorist groups, regardless of the religion or geographical location of its members."

Mahyub's sense that this was yet another example of Western double standards was echoed by everyone I spoke to.

"You can see why a lot of people think this is a war against Islam," said Inaayat Hashim, an English Literature undergraduate.

"A significant amount of the major conflicts in recent history have taken place in Muslim countries. If Al Qaeda was based in France, there wouldn't have been this kind of backlash against the country."

Professor of Politics Haleh Afshar was adamant that support for the US-led military campaign was irrational. "Nobody decided to attack America because Americans funded the IRA. Nobody is attacking Israel, even though Israel is actively killing Palestinians; bombing schools, committing all the kinds of atrocities that we would regard as undesirable.

“We live in a world where - first of all - the criminals themselves are supposed to

be punished, not 'associates'. Secondly, where criminals themselves are being

Nobody decided to attack America because Americans funded the IRA. Nobody is attacking Israel, even though it is committing all kinds of atrocities.

- Haleh Afshar: Politics Professor

funded by governments like the US and not punished.

“Why is it that the Afghans become the butt of the war? If people say, 'It's bin Laden's fault.' then the questions are: Who funded bin Laden? Where did bin Laden come from? Why is bin Laden in Afghanistan? The answer to all of those questions is US funding. So, again, why is the US not fighting itself?"

But if bin Laden was found and assassinated, would the US be safer than it is now? Hatim Salih, a research student for the Dept. of Electronics didn't think so.

"The main role bin Laden plays for extremists is one of inspiration." he said, "If he is killed, he will become more of an

inspiration."

Jacoby also thought the tactics of the Coalition were misguided. "We're now in a much more dangerous position," he told me, "because we're now in the business of creating martyrs and polarising Muslims."

So how polarised do Muslims in the UK feel? Does it threaten their allegiance to the state? The British Muslims I spoke to didn't seem to think so. "I can see myself as a British Muslim," said Hashim, "I don't see any conflict in putting those two words together."

Mahyub agreed that the current situation was straining relations between Muslims and the Government. "As a British Muslim I feel let down by my government," he said, "I feel betrayed." I asked Hashim if he felt his national allegiance was threatened, but he dismissed the suggestion. "I can see myself as a British Muslim," he said, "I don't see any conflict in putting those two words together."

Sheelan Jamal, a Kurd from Northern Iraq, suggested the discrepancy in support for the war between Muslims in Britain and some sections of the non-Muslim population had less to do with religious affiliation, and more to do with access to informational resources.

"Many [non Muslim] British people have only their own media to rely on," she noted, "and I'm afraid that the British media is not showing all the facts.

“I don't find the war on Afghanistan a particular problem as a Muslim; I find it a problem as a human being. If this were happening anywhere else - in a non-Muslim country - I would feel the same."

In Search of the Phantom Fad

A Selection of Toys From Christmas past

ON YOUR right you will see the portraits of

the past two decades' most wanted faces. Elusive and scarce

by definition, these mugs have haunted many a Christmas dreamer. What else can transform mothers into vicious stalkers, ready to shove, push and outbid? What else can turn fathers into mini-van wielding private eyes, knowledgeable of the contents of each Toys R' Us shipment? The fad toys of Christmases past have done it before, make no doubt they can do it again.

Looking back on these familiar plastic and fur faces it is hard not to remember some of society's bleak-

est moments: "Furby on E-Bay sold for 500 times retail price!", "New York Radio Station Flings Tickle Me Elmo off of Empire State Building into Crowd of Eager Parents," "Woman Punched in Line for Cabbage Patch Kid." As Christmas is assaulted for its commercialism and superficiality, these toys push the envelope. While kids will probably be on the receiving end of the coveted toy, the search, the struggle, sweat and blood, is a parental decision. The toy obsession is an addiction of the giver, not the receiver. Emphasising this point is the way fad toys are marketed.

In the year 1902 the first recorded toy crazy occurred. A story of the

American President Theodore Roosevelt rescuing a stray bear cub during a hunting trip captured the nation's heart and resulted in the production of the first Teddy Bears. Parents bought them for children because of the enchanting story. Eighty years later the makers of the Cabbage Patch Kid sent their doll directly to reporters, a brilliant media move that sets the precedent today. And as parents, not children, read about the hot toy it became the Toy Arch of the Covenant: rare and

re q u i r-

ing a search of such extreme dedication that only a

true

believer would dare to try. When it comes to Tamagatchi, Power Rangers and PlayStation, only a super-parent is up for the challenge. Year after

The Alternative Toy

year the search continues and the struggle increases. What will be the next Christmas fad toy? We might have to wait for the headline "Man Agrees to

Taking a break from the toy hysteria

Trade Kidney for ___!" to find out.

On the Trail of a Virtual Pet

When I was seven, I desperately wanted a doll. Okay, doesn't sound like much, but it really wasn't just any doll. It was an American Girls Doll-- a SAMANTHA doll, who had books, and furniture, and, best of all, these absolutely wicked

Bet you never thought a 'tamagotchi' could be so psychologically damaging. I know for many of you out there who possessed such a toy

dresses. One for every occasion! She had a red satin-y Christmas one, and a pink

were probably annoyed by the constant attention seeking, its projectile vomiting and its unpredictable toilet issues - not to mention its

and

frequent trips to 'tamagotchi' heaven. Yet in all honesty I would have given my right arm for that privilege. Instead the Christmas of

white

pink satin ribbon‌ she had

peppermint striped birthday dress with a lacy pinafore, a white tea dress edged in more clothes than I did. And this fantastic curly hair that I consistently ate bread

1997, the height of the virtual pet craze, was a day I will never forget. I became the only person West of the Pennines not to own such

crusts to obtain. It was the doll to end all dolls. I wrote about sixty lists, washed dishes, dusted my mothers room, and was phenomenally

a 'wonder toy'. As I searched furiously through the piles of cast aside and torn wrapping paper hoping that the small parcel I was hunt-

nice to my little brother.

ing for may have been lost - it suddenly dawned on me that it was not there. From that moment on I would be subjected to the taunts

of others as they paraded round the yard with their new virtual pet, as they met in huddles at lunchtime discussing the growth of their

friends got their Molly, Kirsten, and Felicity dolls, but I did not get my Samantha. On the other hand, my cousins DID get their brand new

creature, looking over at the child who had so obviously been forgotten at Christmas. Sat alone at my school desk I had to let the buzz

Nintendo. My stinky stupid cousins who constantly bit me and taunted me and threw mud at me and called me 'Stupid Claire'. Well, that

and excitement pass me by. Don't be deprived like me - keep up with the trend - be cool!

did it. There was no such thing as Santa. And the next year, when I did get what I asked for, I knew it was my parents on some crazy guilt-

-Victoria Hirst

I ran down stairs on Christmas morning, only to discover that none of those glistening silver packages contained Samantha. All my

trip. But it wasn't Santa. The beginning of the end of my childhood. Ha.

-Claire Coady

20 : FEATURES yorkVision

features@vision.york.ac.uk

December 4th 2001

Are you sitting next to a dominatrix?

www.yorkvision.co.uk

A decade plus into your academic career aren’t the personalities in

your seminars starting to appear oddly familiar? Antonia Hassan reveals some of the more common species of student. Don’t dare venture into another classroom without this lifesaving guide.

THE SEMINAR GROUP. A wild and merciless place in which only the strongest can survive. A circle of life made up of many species, fighting for existence in this unforgiving landscape, in which the only rule is dog eat dog. Its a jungle out there, as proven by our guide to the most common seminar species...

The Bitch Dominatris

The Stoner

sadistica e.g. Anne Robinson

Stondas fuckus e.g. Snorlax from Pokemon

The top predator of the seminar group who strikes fear into the hearts of all but the most skilled of seminar participants, this masterful hunter will lie low whilst looking for weaknesses in her prey. Quietly she stalks, taking pleasure in the smells of fear emanating from her vic- tims, then suddenly she snaps, her slavering jaws tearing and devouring all theories in her path.

This species takes supreme pleasure in making others look foolish and once she has had a taste of your blood, she will not stop until you are crying into your pencil case.

In 10 years time... will be presenting The Weakest Link

The Comedian Irritis moronias

e.g. Screech from Saved by the Bell Distinguishable by his collection of cartoon socks and flashing bowties, The Comedian's brightly coloured clothing serves as a warning for other animals to stay away.

T h e Comedian is a relatively sociable species, loving to entertain his pack with his 'hilarious' pranks and microbiology jokes (what do you get when you cross a vesicle with a centromere anyone???). The Comedian can occasionally be found outside the seminar group habitat, usually alone.

In 10 years time... will be buried in concrete and thrown off Brighton Pier.

This species is rarely found outside its main habitat, its bed, and has never yet been seen conscious. The Stoner is not an active seminar participant and for this reason can often be indistinguishable from its army jacket or mistaken for a rock.

The Stoner is almost certainly an herbivore and survives solely on various species of plant life.

In 10 years time... will be in the Betty Ford Clinic.

The Artist

Pretentium twattus e.g. Art Attack’s Neil Buchanan Whether in the seminar or its favoured habitat, the trendy wine bar, the Artist can frequently be located utilising vocabulary o f considerable length without a solitary consideration for its denotation.

The male is easily spotted due to its long dark coat, goatee and tortured expression. The female has similar markings (although often without the goatee) and is seduced by the male's mating calls of ' to exist without creative expression is to plunge into the shady chasm of subservience and despair' and 'we're all going to die'.

In 10 years time... will be a telephone sales operative in Dudley.

The Jekyll and Hyde Scari freakia e.g. the Gremlins

Jekyll and Hydes should not be given alcohol after University hour or a strange and terrible transformation will take place. The Jekyll and Hyde will leave its daytime study room habitat and will develop wild and aggressive tendencies, often heading towards drinking establishments, where it can be found dancing the Macarena topless on tables.

In 10 years time... expect as a social worker cum

an unusual career lap dancer.

The Swot Evilis Genius

e.g. Dr Bunsen Honeydew from The Muppets

It is very easy to mistake this extremely solitary species' quietness for shyness, when in truth it has simply lost the power of speech through lack of contact with other species.

Although The Swot will rarely leave the library, in which it makes its nest, it is a surprisingly passionate species and may try to mate with the seminar tutor. The Swot lives entirely on books and has a hidden tyrannical streak.

In 10 years time... will be an evil professor and finally be able to take over the world (ha ha ha HA!).

The User Hottis tottia

e.g. Geri from Hollyoaks Both the male and female of this exceptionally goodlooking species rely on their powers of hypnosis and seduction to trap their prey. Although the species may offer sex, alcohol and/or drugs in return for completing its lecture notes / essays / dissertations, this is a honey trap that should be avoided.

The User draws its victims in, imprisoning them in a miserable life of slavery.

In 10 years time... will be sunning itself by the pool, while you are inside picking pubic hairs out of the plughole.

In the seminar room, this unusually quiet, retiring species does not seem like much of a threat, but beware.

This issue, Vision revisits the phenomonon of Reality television. You read about Big Brother last time, how are the rest of the unscripted shows faring? Kate Edwards gives us her take on the TV genre that continues to litter our TV Guides

Reflections on the Screen

LATELY I have been considering replacing my television with a mirror.

Not only would this save on my TV license, but also watching myself lounging on the sofa would probably be more interesting than watching a load of strangers lounging on a sofa. I am of course referring to the illusive series of Big Brother, the static delights of which we were treated to

day, to watching people going to any lengths to achieve their dreams.

This was ultimately seen in the series Popstars and the imaginatively named follow-up, Soapstars. But when their dreams are limited to getting a date, as in Would like to Meet and the latest gripping series, The Farmer Wants a Wife, it is clear that the situation is getting desperate.

not once, but twice! The country went mad (whether with enthusiasm or annoyance was a personal choice) and as a result we have been swamped with what seems to be a never-ending deluge of reality TV shows.

It has become impossible to tune-in without seeing someone being evicted, rejected, singled-out, matched-up, voted-off, adored or ripped to shreds by their fellow contenders, the all important judges, and of course the British public. We have gone from watching people doing nothing all

But love them or hate them, we all watch these shows (don't try to deny it). But why? Perhaps their success is due to the fact that they tap into our very natures. Our capacity for jealousy, sympathy, loyalty and intrigue and our compelling need to criticise is predominantly evident among the contestants, who are given ample opportunity to let us know what they think of each another: Not least in the 'Diary Room' on Big Brother and in 'Hut Cam' on Shipwrecked. However, it is also drawn out

It has become impossible to tune-in without seeing someone being evicted, rejected, singled-out, matched-up, voted-off, adored or ripped to shreds by their fellow contenders, the all important judges, and of course the British public

by our observations of other people from our position as the viewer. As a result, programme producers are increasingly capitalising on our need to publicise our own opinions, by encouraging us to interact with the shows that we are watching. Admittedly I have often made, generally rude, remarks to the TV about those on the screen and have even discussed the hilarity of their antics with my friends. But I have never felt the need to pick up the phone in order to confirm my favourite or to vote-off the one that is annoying me the most. It is a wonder to me that so many do.

In this media fuelled world, our obsession with celebrity and our desire to relate to them, means that we enjoy catapulting the 'everyday Joe' into the spotlight and watching the subsequent fireworks, which inevitably crash and burn. The staying power of such individuals is noneexistent, but no matter, the fickle world of celebrity means that last week’s contender can easily be replaced with the next gullible reality TV star that thinks that he or she's arrived.

Clearly the main purpose of reality TV is to entertain. This is ultimately achieved by tapping into our inherent perceptions of others and by highlighting how we relate to them. Not only does this form the content and construction of such programmes, but also ensures their success among the viewers. Thus the formula is clear: We are glued to our sets because we get satisfaction from the fact that we are able to ridicule the people that we are watching, even sympathise with them, but above all

22 : MUSIC yorkVision

December 4th 2001

MUSIC

music@vision.york.ac.uk

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A Wizard, A True Star Simon Keal speaks to Lee Potter, aka Cut La Roc, on the Orange enjoymusic tour at St. John’s College. He talks about student crowds, Snow Patrol and his departure from Skint...

ER... IT’S just off Gillygate, I think…”

Under what possible circumstances would a fine, self-respecting York University student such as the present writer wish to darken the doors of St. John’s College (that’s the slightly less good university of York, fact fans)? The answer lies with the peculiar orange glow emanating from its grounds. No, not a visit from the perma-fake-tanned Des O’ Connor, but the Orange enjoymusic tour.

Several minutes’ worth of navigation of the cobbled streets of our fair city later,

“When a band does a remix, it’s a bit of a different thing to a DJ, you know, so I was quite interested to hear how it sounded. They actually sat there and played live, and did their own version of the track. It was definitely a worthwhile thing to do, but I’m not very indie-minded so I can’t see myself going that way”

we’ve done with Deadly Avenger, the rest have been with DJ Touche. It should be interesting to see how it goes, the rest of the places have been about 1,000 capacity.

Orange have put a hell of a lot of money into it, they brought their own sound system – it’s good to be involved with professional people. It’s a little bit corporate, but it’s a good promotion anyway, a good gig to have. There’s quite a good vibe – Deadly Avenger and DJ Touche have both been great to be with.”

Touring in front of the unwashed stu-

that they may in fact be longing for an evening of S Club 7 and Hear’Say a la Ziggy’s. “My sets are usually fairly spontaneous. I know certain records which go well with each other, sort of thing, but I do bring quite a few extra records in case the ones I’ve chosen aren’t working. It’s never a kind of ‘start at the back of the box and work forward’ thing, I don’t plan it in that way.”

Cut La Roc has cultivated a reputation very much on the basis of his live performances, but Potter sees just as much value in

jungle”. How did you feel about this fulsome praise? “That was pretty good from the NME, especially since they’re pretty much an indie paper, really. It’s quite a compliment. I’m not quite sure where they’re coming from really, but it’s alright, I suppose.”

Having started his career with the aforementioned seminal Brighton dance label, Skint, Lee is now moving to a major to advance his career. “Skint’s a really good community, everyone knows and likes each other, but I’ve just left. I’m

The problem with Skint is that there are only about 15 full-time staff, and you can’t really expect to be prioritised when you’ve got people like Norman having pop hits. You’re always gonna be put to the back of the queue. I kind of wanted to move into the limelight, instead of being in Norman’s shadow all the time”

On working with Snow Patrol

I finally chanced upon York’s less high seat of learning, and aimed for the flashing lights. Although surprisingly pleasant, it’s a rather disconcerting setting for two of Britain’s most respected DJs to strut their stuff; first, the Deadly Avenger, and second, Cut La Roc. It is with the latter that our conversation will take place. That La Roc is also a world record holder (for mixing with the most decks at once) only makes the interview a more exciting proposition.

Last time Vision spoke to Lee ‘Cut La Roc’ Potter he was basking in the reflected glory of his album La Roc Rocs and touring with Snow Patrol. Now, some fourteen months later, Skint Records’ most underappreciated artiste is in York on tour with the Deadly Avenger under the Orange banner. Entering the college’s Students’ Union, it’s clear that anyone foolish enough to choose Vodafone or BT Cellnet will quickly be hanged as an infidel; everything is in garish tangerine, from the chairs to the entertaining portable computer games.

But before we engage in any further product-placement, let’s get to the matter in hand; namely the event that the sunsetcoloured mobile network is sponsoring.

The venue itself is surprisingly small – think half the size of Vanbrugh dining room and you’re just about there. I spoke to Lee Potter before his 11pm set in the main hall, where he seemed quietly pleased with the tour’s progress. He is affable, laid-back and largely unaffected by the modest success he’s achieved so far. So, Lee, how goes the tour? “Yeah, it’s going pretty well. This is the first night

bring? “The main appeal is that you get a whole team dedicated to you. The thing with Skint is that it doesn’t have a big staff, there’s only about 12 to 15 people working for them. You can’t really expect to be prioritised when you’ve got people like Norman having pop hits. You’re always gonna be put to the back of the queue. I kind of wanted to move into the limelight, instead of being in Norman’s shadow all the time. So hopefully it’ll be a good move.”

One of his stranger moves of recent years was touring with Irish indier-thanthou trio Snow Patrol.

So do you see yourself crossing over to the all-important indie market? “It was

On leaving Skint Records

“I think every crowd is different. Some people want more hip-hoppy stuff, others want breakbeats, others want house... I play a bit of everything, so I think I can get away with it” On Student crowds

dent hordes, you might expect Potter to have particular expectations of the audience response on this tour. Apparently not.

“I think every crowd is different. Some people want more hip-hoppy stuff, others want breakbeats, some want house. I play quite a broken up set anyway, I play a bit of everything, so I think I can get away with it. We’ve had great reactions so far – not a bad one yet, though we’ll see about tonight…” he grins. “…It looks like an interesting evening here,” he adds, possibly alluding to the assembled crowd’s rather bewildered response to Deadly Avenger’s set, and the vague suspicion

his records. “It’s kind of 50-50, really.

Sometimes when you’ve done a spate of gigs, a large number in a row, and there’s not much new coming out, it sort of wears you out a little bit. It gets a bit… I wouldn’t say boring, but maybe a bit samey. It’s the same with the studio. You can hammer away in the studio for a couple of months and never want to go in there ever again… it gets a bit tedious. So you have to balance the two, if you can.”

On the subject of La Roc’s records: the NME once described his track ‘Post Punk Progression’ as “How the Beatles would have sounded if they’d invented

gonna sign to a major simply because I don’t think they’ve got time for me, really.

They’re so busy doing Norman [Cook]’s stuff, and Lo-Fidelity Allstars have got a new album out, so we just had a big meeting and I said that I needed to break out and get a proper thing going on. People know Skint Records, and they’re good at promoting things, but it’s not really enough for me, I need more of a kind of broad appeal. But Skint’s still a great label, I’ll probably carry on doing the odd thing for them.”

So, can you see yourself achieving the major success that a larger label should

just a one-off thing, really. I did a remix for them, and they did one for me. We met at a Sony publishing party, and we just thought it’d be a good idea. When a band does a remix, it’s a bit of a different thing to a DJ, you know, so I was quite interested to hear how it sounded. They actually sat there and played live, and did their own version of the track. It makes a bit of a change, we’d never really done anything like it before. It was definitely a worthwhile thing to do, but I’m not really very indie-minded, so I can’t really see myself going in that direction.”

Thoughts that the night would turn into an Indie Soc social duly dismissed, then, Mr La Roc departed to play his set.

His opening choice, ETA’s ‘Casual Sub’, is about as crowd pleasing as it gets; but despite the assembled mass’s general reluctance to get excited at a set of relatively esoteric dance music where they were probably expecting Steps, he kept them captivated for nigh-on an hour with a lively mix of music. Despite the general feeling that the evening was a success, one can’t help but feel that the appeal of the set was slightly wasted on the apathetic audience.

It can only be hoped that La Roc’s major label transition carries with it the large-scale success that his contemporaries have enjoyed; his lavish talent certainly deserves more than a befuddled crowd at Ripon & York College... until then, keep on Roc’ing!

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December 4th 2001 yorkVision

Clubbing Recession?

Is the dance music market becoming so saturated that interest in clubbing has collapsed? John Donaghy and Simon McEvoy offer their views

and dance, proving that it doesn’t necessarily have to be within the confines of the nightclub. No longer is it necessary to queue outside in the cold for an hour, before being frisked by bouncers, and being hit in the wallet for both admission and drinks, just to listen to dance music.

For many the attraction of free entry, comfy sofas, parque dancefloors and actually being able to converse with your mates are just some of the obvious advantages. It doesn’t have to be the superstar DJ to attract the masses, people can enjoy the same music as found within the clubs, but simply in a different environment.

The rise in the popularity of these alternative venues owes to the introduction of recent late licensing legislation in recent years. No longer at last orders are people necessarily forced to decide between a taxi ride home or the trip to a nightclub. Therefore it is unsurprising that in recent years we have seen a rejuvenation in ‘bar culture’. Such alternative music venues could begin to contest with

THE EMERGENCE of dance music over a decade ago created a new youth movement, and the emergence of a 24hour club culture. The birth of this new musical genre heralded the birth of the dance music industry, which subsequently turned underground nightclubs and record labels into global brands. Consider 'Cream', from a disused warehouse in the back alleys of Liverpool it has become an international clubbing phenomenon in its own right, one of the first to capitalise on the millions of pounds ready to be invested in dance music. Major record labels began to invest in this new form of popular culture.

Huge industry players such as EMI and Sony saw this burgeoning music scene and capitalised on its potential, shrewdly picking aspects from the underground sounds, and supporting pop-dance crossover artists with huge investment and marketing

the unchallenged dominance of superclubs.. Though this could spell bad news for the industry, at the same time it brings with it the benefits of adding to the diversity of dance music.

People now have options, allowing for those not really into full-on clubbing to go to a more relaxed venue, and keeping proper clubs clear of ‘fair-weather’ clubbers. Regardless of what recent reports suggest, the popularity of Ibiza and the big summer festivals this year prove that dance music is not on the wane, but simply that the competition has heated up.

Superclubs will now have to really challenge to retain their supremacy, trying harder to put on better nights and diversify their music to attract the crowds. Whilst this move may not be good for the bank accounts of superclubs, the atmosphere in clubs may not suffer for it at all. No matter how comfy the armchairs or how classy or cool the people are, there is nothing which compares to the atmosphere of a packed, sweaty club dancefloor. People will always want to dance, and nowhere captures the energy and essence of dance music better than this.

campaigns, with at times hilarious consequences (Alice Deejay!).

However, recent reports suggest that the popularity of clubbing is dwindling. The major nightclub brands such as Ministry of Sound and Godskitchen have felt the effects of what some consider to be a recession. No longer are the superclubs guaranteed a packed house every Saturday night, superstar DJs can no longer fill a venue on the basis of reputation and name alone. So why this drop-off in numbers?

Could it be that people are exhausted with the frantic superclub week in week out.

Do people simply want to chill?

This downturn in clubbing has coincided with an increase in the diversity of dance music styles and possible venues, for example the late licensed trendy wine or café bar, now provides the opportunity for those who want to listen to the music

MUSIC : 23

Gig Guide Isobel Todd

AS VISION goes to the photocopier we’re not sure if The Coral ever made it to their re-rescheduled date at Fibbers. If not it’s probably got something to do with their singer’s kidney, which is apparently infected, thus handily preventing them from coming anywhere near York.

Meanwhile Fibbers offers us the dubious delights of the Robbie’s Angels: Robbie Williams Show on 6th. It promises not to entertain you with a camped up tribute to Robbie and his costumes, plus a special appearance by a Kylie look a like. In fact the only thing we can say in its favour is that it doesn’t feature Robbie Williams.

You genuinely may wish to check out Norwegian duo Royksopp (there’s supposed to be an umlaut in there somewhere but we’re not that nifty with the keyboard) at Shef. Octagon on 8th. Their chilled out prog-tronic sound has led to comparisons with Air. Which in turn has led some to hail their Melody AM as epic album of the year, whilst others dismissed it as ‘aural Ikea.’

An unhappy alternative is before you all on12th. From this day forth you must be a stranger to either your Inoffensive Indie pals or your Gangsta Garage possie, as labelmates Travis and So Solid Crew compete for your money and allegiance at Manc. Apollo and Leeds Uni. One day someone will conduct a survey and discover that the overwhelming majority of people had the worst sex of their lives to a Travis song. Until then there’s no real evidence against them. Plenty against SSC however: gun possession, GBH, that sort of thing. All great fodder for student debating societies: culturally necessary or a complete load a shite? Decide for yourself on their current tour, which also offers the once in a life time chance to get a bullet lodged in your femur. It's all the rage…

The Charlatans provide the final entertainment of the term when they play Manc ENA on 14th with support from Starsailor. God I can’t wait to go home.

Nothing really wrong with The Charlatans. It’s just that their songs generally involve only one line. And Tim Burgess generally can’t sing it.

White Noise Pulp Friction Stuart Hallifax The White Stripes/The Von Bondies Sheffield Leadmill 17th November

LAST YEAR New York bands the Strokes and the Moldy Peaches did a (slightly curtailed) tour, this year its Detroit’s turn to be hyped up and have a tour in the form of the three guys and three girls dressed in tight red and white t-shirts who make up the White Stripes and the Von Bondies.

The four-piece Von Bondies (two girls, two guys) are a good old-fashioned Rhythm ‘n’ Blues crossed with 1970s punkiness, with a bit of Velvet Underground thrown in for good measure with thoroughly enjoyable results.

The White Stripes are a brother and sister duo of Jack and Meg White, with a penchant for rootsy blues, punky guitar and red and white clothes. They begin tonight with the storming ‘Fell in love with a girl’, from their critically recent, highly acclaimed, album White Blood Cells. In contrast to the stars of last year’s hype-fuelled tour of New York bands the White Stripes actually have a back catalogue of songs from the two albums preceding this one.

The band’s live sound seems to be either slow roots-blues style songs like ‘Death Letter’ or faster punky songs, as

shown by their excellent pairing of the lovely blues (drumless) schooldays reminiscence of ‘We’re going to be friends’ and the faster, incredibly catchy, single ‘Hotel Yorba’ near the end of the main set prior to the blues-workout style encore.

The set also included a brilliant cover of ‘Jolene’ by Dolly Parton (also a b-side of the ‘Hello Operator’ single), the highlight of the set for me, and the Rhodes piano driven ‘I’m finding it harder to be a gentleman’. This latter song is one of the very few which are not solely guitar and bass, which (although novel) seems to be the main problem with their sound, that some of the songs merge into one because of the similarity of sound and seem to beg at least a piano or some bass.

The other niggling criticism is the

randomness of Jack White’s voice which, as well as being very strong, is just a bit odd, with random high-pitched bits and almost entirely incomprehensible lyrics.

Having said that the gig was very good in part because of his vocal performance, particularly one song (possibly a cover version) about him not being the marrying kind. Overall they are a band to see if you know the material, otherwise the songs just kind of merge into one. The gig neither converted me to being a big fan nor completely turned me off the White Stripes, but I may check out the Von Bondies again in the future.

Isobel Todd Pulp York Barbican 21st November

FILING WITH our fellow students into the sports hall, where smoking and drinking are disallowed and where Jarvis, in trademark school shirt/sweater combo, will try out his new ‘I am a plant, growing’ moves to accompanying videos of sprouting feelers…Christ, it’s like harvest festival assembly all over again. Except a Pulp celebration of fertility is quite a different thing. In fact, all this PR twaddle about a therapeutic pastoral return is largely bullshit. On We Love Life, the only flowers in sight are plastic tulips, the trees have teenage love hearts carved into their bark, and the birds are dirty-minded little voyeurs urging Jarvis to “Come on and give it to her.” Because this is Pulp pastoral, and in Pulp’s world parks might as well be car parks, every stretch of grass contains a shagging couple, and getting back to nature means standing naked in somebody else’s room. All very therapeutic no doubt, but hardly Wordsworthian.

‘Weeds’ is a fitting opener tonight, being a distinctly Jarvian ode to the superiority of these robust little plants which give us “booze and druurgs”, and sounds rather like the Velvet’s Venus In Furs, with jingling bells and a dense psychedelic riff.

They’re still doing tightly crafted pop but it’s less top heavy than before, with more swathes of synth and graceful expanses of strings. ‘The Night That Minnie Timperley Died’ kicks in with layered guitars and edgy funk- it’s a dirty dancing with Patrick Swayze, at the youth club disco, kind of vibe.

Because contrary to reports, it’s more the music than the ethos that’s progressed.

And perhaps because they took a more spontaneous approach to recording this time, their new, Scott Walker assisted sound transfers brilliantly live. Having been wrongfully dismissed by critics as moody, torturous and commercially suicidal because of its lack of ‘sing along,

kids!!!’ choruses, their last album is largely absent tonight. Which is sad. Still, it does mean that we get to hear Joyriders and Babies again (yeh! sing along chorus!), and a gratifying pic’n’mix from Different Class. ‘Live Bed Show’ and ‘Feeling Called Love’ are particularly nostalgic, as Jarvis jerks his hips and moans longingly into the mic. Despite fame and fortune, he still retains that double poise which made him so credible a generational icon. He’s at once the shaggable genius, and the skinny loser, peeping from the eternal wardrobe with dirty, insinuating fingers and complaining “I was gonna, y’know, sneak that away” when a roadie removes a fan’s bra from the stage.

There’s nothing tired or fallacious about Pulp 2001, as even the old hits sound fresh. But it’s new track ‘Sunrise’ that steals the show with it’s symphonic panorama of choral ommms, cymbals and Butler-esque guitar, that builds in waves like a coming-up shiver to the grandiose heights of early Suede. Pulp have never really done epic before- turns out they do it very well indeed. Something of a spir-

itual antithesis to ‘Bar Italia’ (“You’ve been awake all night so why should you crash out at dawn?”) ‘Sunrise’ is gorgeous, triumphal and ambitious without being cloying or pretentious. And due to their well-honed sense of self-deprecating humour, we are blinded throughout by a lurid light show in bright orange and pink.

They may have been ridiculously successful, but Pulp are still concerned with the commonplace things in life. Jarvis’ subjects for discussion tonight, for example: chocolate oranges and the cockney sparrow. There is beauty here, but it’s more Primrose Hill than the Eden project: watching the sun rise through your hangover, looking at the moon through man hole covers, and getting natural in nylon&polyester mix… the weed is infinitely more beautiful than the rose, and The Jarv, having broken up through a crack in the Brit-pop pavement 15 years ago is still more lovable than any of todays frontmen.. It was always going to be one of those “a great night was had by all” events, and we hope you enjoyed it while it lasted. ‘Cos it’s all David Essex from here.

24 : MUSIC yorkVision

Digging the ‘Dirt

music@vision.york.ac.uk

December 4th 2001

James Kelly meets one of the leading groups in the new Detroit scene, The Dirtbombs, as they embark on their firstever UK tour...

YOU’VE BEEN lied to all your life.

When your mum of 80 years old tells you that you weren’t a ‘surprise on your 18th birthday’, she’s lying; you were very much a surprise to medical science as well. When they tell you you’re good looking even though you couldn’t get a job in Burger King; they’re lying. When the Uni says it’s not getting rid of 24-hour portering; it’s lying. And now, people, the music press have lied too. Sorry, it’s true.

The Detroit scene? There isn’t one. But if there isn’t a scene, then aren’t the Dirtbombs, the latest band to eminate from said city, annoyed at being questioned about it all the time?

“Without sounding like a bastard about it, I have been asked about the ‘scene’ quite a bit,” sighs singer Mick Collins. It’s not really annoying; to us it’s…um…we don’t really have words for it. In Detroit, we’re all looking around at each other asking, ‘What scene?’ Like 10-15 years ago there was a scene in Detroit, with all the labels, magazines, clubs and the whole works. It’s not there anymore; there is no scene there now. And now there’s all this weird media interest and we don’t know what to make of it really.”

But…but the music press don’t lie.

Okay, maybe with Gay Dad being the best band ever they did but surely not again.

All you Detroit bands hang about together don’t you?

“We do.”

So there is a scene!!!!

“Um, no more or less than in any other city. We don’t all do shows together – we hang out on our ‘off’ hours so to speak. When we’re on tour, we never play together and we never play shows together at home. It’s only a scene because we just know each other and that’s really the only connection we have. We have no dress thing and we don’t really see any common ground in the kind of music we play.

There’s none of that kind of thing in Detroit – just a bunch of bands who happen to know each other. It’s not like Seattle except in the amount of hype being generated”.

“That was all shitty grunge music. We don’t want to be like the Seattle scene with a bunch of lame mother-fuckers coming along to see us,” add guitarist Tom and drummer/nephew of the White Stripes, Ben simultaneously.

With tongue firmly in cheek, Mick concludes, “We’re the new Manchester.”

Okay, so we’ve been lied to about that. Not the sound and energy of the band though – this is some glorious so-loud-ithurts mix of soul and rock ‘n roll with a

little bit of punk thrown in for good measure. Recent album Ultra Glade in Black demonstrates this to the full, consisting of a number of classic soul covers, including new single ‘Ode to a Black Man’. Mick, why did you choose to do a number of covers?

“Ultra Glade is mainly made up of songs I liked when I was a kid – songs I was listening to when I was seven - nine years old. I decided that when I got into music I was going to cover these songs.

Somewhere along the line, it became the idea to do an entire album of them. And The Dirtbombs is the first band I’ve been in where there are no genre restrictions with what we do, or no sub-culture bound-

aries set. So it was my chance to finally do this record. It was really just a labour of love, not some attack on what passes off for soul and R ‘n B at the moment. I didn’t really have the current pop charts in mind when I made the record – I do like some things but I don’t really care. I go by Duke Ellington’s dictum that there are only two kinds of music; the kind you like and the kind you don’t. Beyond that, it’s not even an issue for me.”

Admittedly, during the gig, Mick does bear a resemblance to a plump Stevie Wonder crossed with Curtis Mayfield playing the guitar – he even comes complete with sunglasses and the movements.

Considering the album’s more a personal

thing then, don’t you find the hype surrounding it somewhat strange?

“It’s just sort of baffling to us,” chuckles Mick “It’s kind of funny – back home we look at the NME and laugh at the whole thing. Usually it’s at the terrible pictures of us! That’s all it means to us.

We’re just happy that somebody’s writing about us – it’s not an earth-shaking event in Detroit.

“It’s just good that people finally have a chance to see us live and they seem to like it. The live shows pretty different than on record – we’re a lot louder. And there’s more wrong notes!”

With that, Mick departs to play some great music, even if he is the unlikeliest rock star since Mike Flowers covered Wonderwall. My advice to you; just listen to the music and see the band live. They’re worth it, and I’m not lying…you good-

“Like 10-15 years ago there was a scene in Detroit, with all the labels and the whole works. It’s not there anymore; there is no scene there now. And now there’s all this weird media interest and we don’t know what to make of it really”

Warped Imagination

Robin Howells takes a look at the career of Warp’s brilliant, uncompromising and hugely influential electronic duo, Autechre AT SOME point in eighties New York, the seismic shuffle of a Roland kick drum bust windows and shook the block so hard it sent waves all the way across the Atlantic.

Two boys from Manchester felt the ripples, and when a mutual friend noticed their shared love of Electro, he decided Sean Booth and Rob Brown should be introduced. The brickwork of their town is presumably still stained with the fruits of some of their earliest labours, but acquisition of a drum machine and a cheap sampler soon diverted the pair’s creativity into more productive avenues.

The sound of Acid House catalysed their imaginations further, and in late 1991 they were responsible for the single ‘Cavity Job’, released as M.Y.S.L.B. Productions. Sadly the activities of an unscrupulous record company precluded any financial gain, but a series of demo tapes provoked interest from Warp, who had already experienced a small taste – subsequent to underground successes like LFO’s eponymous 12” – of the respect they would come to achieve. Autechre were eventually to contribute in no small way to Warp’s reputation, and they began

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their career at the label with features on the influential Artificial Intelligence compilations.

When it was released in late 1993, Incunabula enjoyed considerable attention from more open-minded quarters of the music press such as The Wire magazine, and entered the UK independent charts at number one. Despite referencing a similar palette of sounds to the early releases, Incunabula places them in a far less earthly context. There never was a B-Boy bad enough to break to the broken shards of 808 patterns that rotate so strangely, and besides, he’d be too lost in distant sound worlds to bother. Although Autechre would definitely reach more striking sonic extremes, the mechanical soul of their first effort still makes it fascinating.

Frequently referred to as their ‘ambient’ album, 1994’s Amber often plays down rhythmic concerns in favour of a quieter pulse that runs throughout the meanderings of the more organic tracks.

It’s a particularly cohesive piece of work that draws the listener into a strangely comforting womb found by many fans to be a lacking feature in Booth and Brown’s later experiments. Numbers like ‘Foil’ or the amazing ‘Nil’ are most likely to lull you into the weird half-sleep the aficionado is presumably looking for. Despite the artists’ own lack of regard for Amber, those of a more relaxed disposition have always been tempted to hold it as Autechre’s finest work.

With the release of the distinctly more brutal ‘Anvil Vapre EP’ and the 1995 album Tri Repeatae, a harsher, industrial aesthetic was introduced that for some signposted a descent into the realms of the unlistenable and for others was the very beginning of the duo’s mastery of production. In its evocation of withered futurism, Tri Repetae has a transporting ability that sets it apart from a lot of other electronic releases, which are often rightly accused of sterility. The melancholy spirit of a

Manchester winter inhabits all the surprisingly heavyweight cuts on this record and upon their release the reaction was as positive as general appreciation of an Autechre album ever will be. The sheer physicality of Dael’s bassy growl and metallic percussion mesh perfectly with its minor harmonies and Overand’s desolate Rhodes part is always memorable, propelled forever by the sound of its own echoes. For those prepared to take the trip, occasionally a bad one, this is an ideal introduction to their catalogue.

A two-year silence followed Tri

Repeatae, and the results this period bore are documented on the determinedly cryptic Chiastic Slide. Sheets of white noise wash erratically over the entire album and while a sense of melody never disappears for the faithful, anything as tangible as a tune rarely surfaces from the soup of advanced synthesis techniques and aggressive processing that characterise it. Some tracks seem to speed up sickeningly without ever changing tempo or, like the open-

ing ‘Cipater’, swing effortlessly between multiple time signatures. Recury is a loop that repeats itself for nine minutes but never sounds the same twice, and this record has plenty of other tricks up its sleeve. Few would dispute the status of Chiastic Slide as ‘difficult’ music, but four years on it still sounds ahead of its time and is mind-boggling in the most literal sense.

One of the most remarkable things about Autechre is their consistent ability to reinvent their approach and explore new directions with every release. This is as evident on LP5, released in 1998, as on any of their albums. Taking a cue from drum’n’bass in terms of tempo and deliberately spiting its own musicality, it was a departure that alienated a good deal of their listeners. As on Chiastic Slide, sounds are scrambled with computationally intensive methods like granular synthesis to bring into existence bizarre polyrhythms, but many of the tracks forsake that release’s crunchy washes for furious rhythmic exercises.

After another hiatus, full of scantily founded speculation and unreasonable anticipation, Autechre returned this year with an offering to finally cast away the weak permanently. Confield is probably the most wilfully obtuse collection of curiosities you’ll hear for a while, and has been met with considerable hostility.

Source material appears to include buzzing flies, damp compost and ominous bells, often adding up, bizarrely, to a rather gothic effect. Anyone with a strong stomach will find plenty of tasty morsels, however, and the tranquil uviol or even the thoroughly evil-sounding parhelic triangle are both fine examples. The undeniably patchy nature of this album keeps it from classic status, but everything Booth and Brown come up with is so far ahead of the game that it’s nevertheless worth hearing.

It should be pointed out that apart from the full-length releases mentioned so

Mick Collins

far, there are plenty of interesting singles and EPs to Autechre’s name. One of note is ‘Anti’, which was brought out just before Amber in response to a particular section of the Criminal Justice Bill that was being proposed by the government at the time. The clause intended to outlaw any unlicensed gatherings at which could be identified the performance of music involving ‘repetitive beats’. The ludicrous nature of this particular display of authoritarianism prompted the inclusion on ‘Anti’ of a track called ‘Flutter’, in which no two bars of the beat are identical, and the label on the record helpfully advises DJs that it may be unsafe to play the rest of the EP in public. Aside from this, the ‘Garbage EP’,

from early 1995, is certainly recommended listening. Despite being uncharacteristically beatless, the music on here, particularly the title track, is some of Autechre’s most sublime.

Some may find the nature of their work occasionally frustrating, but it’s hard to think of any other electronic act, apart from perhaps the Aphex Twin, who’s status seems to hinge somewhat on his personality anyway, which has led this field of music quite as consistently as Autechre have. Whether or not they ever become quite as easily accessible again as they

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December 4th 2001 yorkVision

World Beaters? ‘Crew cuts Jane Boxall Bleed American Jimmy Eat World (Out Now)

JIMMY EAT World’s self-financed fourth album is their first to gain much recognition in the UK, mainly because their previous album releases were shelved by Capitol Records. The unhelpful corporation dropped the band in 1999, and through the hard graft of an independent tour, Jimmy Eat World developed an admirable DIY ethic. Says drummer Zach Lind, “So what if we don’t have the support of our label? We have the support of our fans.”

a sense of frustration comes across in the driving rhythms and straining melody. By the time that the more mellow track ‘Your House’ comes around, the drummer has finally discovered his toms, and adds a rhythmic choppiness which suits the song’s painful-break-up topic.

Later, more miserable songs gain interest through subtle use of programming and effects, band collaborator and ex-Blink 182 Producer Mark Trombino adding industrial atmospherics and scratchy electronic effects to tracks such as ‘Cautioners’.

While Trombino’s production lends the album a nu-punk sheen, the band’s influences seem to be rooted further back, in the “garage” scene of the Nineties. In interviews, the band have cited early-

This endearing attitude makes me wish I could like their music a lot more than I actually do - Bleed American has a disappointing tendency to fade into the background, lacking sufficient substance to hold your attention. Fairly formulaic indie-punk makes up the body of the album, while bittersweet and often intelligent lyrics suffer from a whiny style of delivery which brings to mind Weezer or Blink 182, and robs the words of depth.

Having said that, there are a few standout tracks which hint at the possibility of better things to come. Opener ‘Salt Sweat Sugar’ is an infectious piece of punchy power-pop, offset by lyrics of disaffection and loss. Singer Jim Adkins says it’s about “a feeling that something’s missing”, and

Nineties UK bands as influences, and say that a similar “garage” scene still exists across the pond. In the light of these comments, I took the lyrics “J A M C automatic” in self-referential track ‘The Authority Song’ to be a shout out to The Jesus and Mary Chain.

Overall, the album is a grower, but lacking in any real substance - it’s difficult to get excited about any of the music when the same chugging riffs and standard drum grooves pervade most of the songs. I got the feeling that the album could work well as film soundtrack, in much the same way that insubstantial punk-pop was used in recent US films like American Pie 2. This isn’t an album to change your life, but it makes nice enough background music.

Ewan Tant They Don’t Know So Solid Crew (Out Now)

SHOOTINGS, STABBINGS, jaw-breakings. A year in the life of So Solid Crew seems to be one long list of violent incidents. After the recent shootings at the London Astoria they claimed that they ‘abhor violence’ and that the record states this clearly. Hmm… this is the same record where, on ‘In My Life’, Megaman opens talking about how he will “open up your face”. This is a dark and violent record. The only comparison that is possible considering their 25-30 strong membership is that of the Wu-Tang Clan. Like the Wu-Tang, So Solid Crew have brought out a vital debut filled with dark melodies and violent imagery. At near to 80 minutes the album can be a little difficult to absorb a s a whole.

With the exceptions ‘21 Seconds’ and ‘Oh No’

(Remix), it is a record with few pop tunes.

However, tunes like latest hit single ‘They Don’t Know’ and the soulful ‘Haterz’ both have hook lines which do get inside your head. There is a huge pool of creativity within the group which promises them a bright future already seen from the Oxide and Neutrino solo material. Tracks like the brooding Oxide-produced ‘If It Was Me’ are a real wake-up call to the slick Dreem Team garage that dominates the charts.

Deeper shows off the lyrical skills that make them unique: “You think I’m deep?

I’m deeper than the graves where they bury the foot and mouth sheep”. Unlike most British hip-hop they use homespun references and sound new and vital at the same time thanks to the originality of the music.

As Lisa Maffia seductively asks us, “Do you wanna ride with us?” on ‘Ride Wit Us’, the final answer is a definite “Yes”. It may be difficult and slightly overlong, but So Solid Crew has a bright future. Their two-fingers up youthfulness is something to be celebrated, not seen since that other dance youth landmark, the Prodigy’s Music For The Jilted Generation.

---Albums of the Year--Vision’s Music team casts its collective eye over the very finest Long Players 2001 has had to offer...

Robin Howells Top 5:

1. Muse - Origin of Symmetry 2. Various - The Braindance Coincidence (Rephlex) 3. Aphex Twin - Drukqs (Warp) 4. Cyclo - Cyclo (Raster-Norton) 5. Hood - Cold House (Domino)

Aphex Twin - Drukqs

Publicity for Drukqs became decidedly matter-of-fact this autumn - the legend "come on you cunt lets have some aphex acid" appeared in many of the most unlikely places, including the Vision offices - and on the day of release London's Rough Trade shops celebrated by stocking the shelves of their Talbot Road branch with hundreds of copies of Drukqs.

Whether or not this distinctly peculiar album merits that sort of attention is arguable, but it's certainly something of an achievement. Some might hear Drukqs as a bit of a patchwork, and the ambient numbers, for instance, admittedly sit uneasily between the other tracks, but it's fair to say that the Aphex Twin still makes some of the most imaginative, startling and downright classic music around.

Ewan Tant The Strokes - Is This It

Quite simply this is the greatest debut album since Oasis’ Definitely Maybe. But better. Every song could be a single. After all the hype that surrounded them it was so tempting to find some way to criticise them. Then you heard the songs, and you just couldn’t say a word against them.

Songs like ‘Last Nite’, ‘Someday’, ‘Hard to Explain’ and ‘The Modern Age’ are all instant guitar-pop classics. They are influenced by the past, with a bit of the Ramones, Blondie, The Velvet Underground and the Smiths all there in the mix. However, despite this, they seem to sound wonderfully new.

Julian Casablancas’ voice could be defining for a generation of singers in the same way that Johnny Rotten and Liam Gallagher’s were, and it defines the songs all on their own. His lyrics are perfectly arrogant, but also surprisingly feminine, something relieving in a world with Limp Bizkit’s machismo. Not only that, but the band seem to define the phrase ‘cool as fuck’. They define the New York look and even their names are cool. A band and album like this don’t come along very often, and to think that Julian Casablancas says they haven’t reached their potential yet is plain scary. This is a definite wakeup call to guitar pop.

David Bowles R.E.M. - Reveal

Reveal sounds like the product of a selfconfident band at the peak of their careers.

This is deceptive: since Automatic for the People, US sales had continuously declined and Reveal did little to reverse this. Internationally huge bands are not supposed to sound like this: creative, dynamic and musically expert. The album is perhaps open to charges of overproduction, and certainly sounds more carefully constructed and shaped than most of its predecessors. Musical craftsmanship triumphs, however. This set is very strong and occasionally stunning: not quite R.E.M.’s best, but magnificent nonetheless.

Radiohead - Amnesiac

Many were disappointed when Radiohead’s fifth LP, Amnesiac appeared; the first listen confirmed that this was not Kid A’s guitar-laden, well-adjusted big brother. Harsh electronica opens the album, Thom Yorke’s vocals are often barely recognisable, let alone decipherable, and the overall sound dark and alienating. In the face of such potentially pretentious experimentation, the album is saved by one factor: that the band are good enough to hold the thing together. With sounds ranging from drum machines, through guitars, pianos, strings, to a New Orleans funeral march, the sheer experimental variety here makes the album oddly human. Paranoid, twisted, occasionally incomprehensible, but fun all the

Tom Elcock same.

Top 5:

1. White Stripes - White Blood Cells 2. Low - Things We Lost In The Fire 3. Ash - Free All Angels 4. Hefner - Dead Media 5. Mull Historical Society - Loss

White Blood Cells

Twelve months ago, the White Stripes had just started to make an impression on the alternative music scene; but whereas it was clear they were growing in stature, no-one could have guessed just how big they were to become. Hyped to the rafters by the NME, playlisted by Radio 1, making guest appearances on Letterman; by August even the Daily Mail had started writing about them. Admittedly, you could tell a similar story about The Strokes; but as great as their debut was, it sounds almost conservative when played next to White Blood Cells.

So the Stripe’s third album doesn’t sound quite as raw as their earlier offerings; so what? They’re still making the most thrilling pop music of the moment; and you can’t deny that it’s pretty cool (if not slightly surreal) to hear Chris Moyles playing ‘Hotel Yorba’ while you’re cooking your tea. They may not be household names just yet, but it’s reasonable to suggest that it’s not since Nirvana that music this exciting has crossed over to more

Simon Keal mainstream audiences. All in all, bloody (sorry) brilliant.

Royksopp - Melody A.M.

Bergen’s Royksopp could, if we wanted to be lazy, be carelessly lumped in with the ambient/ ‘chill-out’ sound that’s so in vogue amongst the cognoscenti. Indeed, you’ll find a smattering of tracks from this LP all over those compilations. That’s not to detract from its unerring brilliance, however. Featuring guest appearances from fellow Norwegians Kings of

MUSIC : 25

With Campus Band Superstars Flight 19 Johnny – Bass + Vocals Stuart – Guitar Mike – Guitar Ferg – Drums SudWave1100 – Washing Machine Style: Quiet -> Crescendo -> Dirge

Alien Ant Farm Movies Mike - Hmmm, I’m not quite sure what to say about this Stuart - How about: it’s utter shite?

Ferg - It might be a grower, if you give it a few listens, it could sound quite nice in a few months?

Mike - Its sounds quite average: not very heavy, metal Stuart - Its a bit boring really SudWave1100 - slosh-slosh whir, sloshslosh whir Ferg - I heard them from the campsite at Reading, doing that cover of ‘Smooth Criminal’ Johnny - I think it says a lot about their material when they have to debut with a cover Stuart - It’s just overly commercial numetal that’s lost all its edge Johnny - They’ve no style, no substance Garbage Cherry Lips (Go Baby Go!) The Remixes Stuart – It starts with the ‘Mauve’s Dark Vocal with acapella mix edit’. There are six tracks of remixes. Lets go for the single version...

Mike - Sounds like bad arcade music Stuart - This chorus is so 80’s Johnny - Yeah, it’s gratuitously rigid and robotic.

Stuart - Nice packaging. I’d imagine you’d get flat chocolates in little wrappers in there.

Ferg – Pity the song’s a bit boring and repetitive SudWave1100 - whirrrrrrrrrrrrr Stuart - This one’s the Howie B remix Ferg - Sounds like we’ve moved on to level 2 of the arcade game Stuart - Yeah, its the level with more flames and things on it Feeder Just A Day EP Johnny - Ah, another saccharine mouthful of Welsh pop-punk.

Ferg - I just don’t see the point in them.

Well, yeah, they get people screaming, but what’s the actual point?

Mike - Aren’t they all about 30 as well?

Ferg - I can’t believe they won ‘best live act’ at that crappy awards ceremony, ‘cause I unfortunately happened to be wandering past them at Reading and the best part of their live act was a big neon sign saying ‘Feeder’ SudWave1100 - sssssssssssssss Johnny - I remember appreciating them back in the ‘High’ days Stuart - Yeah, they were quite good, they were moving round, not just standing there Ferg - They’re not trying anything at all, and their lyrics, they don’t actually say anything New Order 60 Miles an Hour Ferg - That guitar sound’s been the same since they started, they always just play really simple riffs Mike - It sounds alright, its got a guitar solo Johnny - I wish we were reviewing for Nouse Ferg - How long were they split up for?

Stuart - They split up every now and again, don’t they? After every album they go into hibernation and write some more stuff.

SudWave1100 - nnurr-nnurr-nnurr-nnurr Ferg - Come to our gig! It’s in Vanbrugh this Wednesday!

26 : ARTS yorkVision

December 4th

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ARTS

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A Wilde Night out.....

Penny Brook visits The Theatre Royal to discover ‘Britain’s favourtie literary lunatics’ in Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest COMEDY DUO Maggie Fox and Sue Ryding, previous winners of the Critics Award for Comedy at The Edinburgh Festival, called themselves 'Lip Service' after a six part series they wrote for Radio 4. They met as drama students at Bristol, realising their talent when they made an audience laugh at Ibsen. After dabbling in

some theatre, they apparently 'realised they were just too frivolous for words and set up their own company devoted to silliness and giving audiences a good night out'.

They weren't afraid to take a risk and see how much silliness they could get away with in this performance. Lunatic,

authentic, trussed-up to the nines with more wigs than in a panto, this show made me wonder how well I knew the meaning of the word 'farce'. When I looked for a cast list in the hand-bag shaped programme, what I found instead were two lists; 'the company', and 'the characters'.

It turned out that this was because the actors would all be sharing each other's parts, in accordance with Wilde's own intention of turning theatrical conventions on their heads. The show includes a play outside of Wilde's play, in which some of the actors have supposedly been caught up in a spot of trouble in Tang Hall, and are being held up at Fulford police station.

(Full marks for their research).

Immediately the audience is thrown into a buzz of curiosity- what on earth is going on? Could this be true? (Of course not- leave the silliness up to them!) How will this gel with a well-respected farce by one of England's finest playwrights? The challenge having been set, and people's pre-conceptions having been thrown out of the window and run over by the buses, Maggie and Sue do their thing.

This sub-plot introduces them as the original female leads who are forced to take up the male roles. Vanessa Rosenthal is the 'pro' whose refuses to play any other part except that of Miss Prism. Darren, the

Hot happenings in London Karen Dickson OK, SO I can just about see the stage. I know it must be down there. Somewhere to the right of the handrail placed strategically in front of my seat and behind the woman with the obligatory large hair. Yes, you guessed it. This is the West End, cheap seats. I'm sitting almost at the back of the balcony section of the Lyric Theatre in the surprisingly full matinee performance of the latest Tennessee Williams’ play to be produced in London. And I'm waiting to see The Mummy.

Actually, that would be the star of the film and its sequel, Brendan Fraser, who is the latest in a long list of A-list Hollywood celebrities giving up their usual paychecks for a fraction of their normal fee to prove their artistic merit by 'treading the boards' in London. But is this going to be something like Nicole Kidman's legendary performance in The Blue Room or more of a Daryl Hannah in The Seven Year Itch?

(You haven't heard of it? Exactly.)

Brendan Fraser. Star of populist films such as The Mummy, The Mummy Returns and George of the Jungle. Not exactly who you would expect for a sensitive tale of a family coping with stress, imminent death and alcoholism and yet, this is the same actor who received critical acclaim for his role in the award winning Gods and Monsters (Bill Condon, 1998). Taking over the part of the alcoholic ex-athlete famously portrayed by Robert Newman in the 1958 film of the same name, Fraser is perfectly cast as Brick, the self-destructive favourite son struggling to come to terms with the death of his friend and the presence of his wife.

The rest of the stellar cast is equally impressive. Frances O'Connor, cast in Elizabeth Tyler's role as Maggie, cat of the title, might be remembered from such films as Love and Other Catastrophes (Emma-Kate Crogan, 1996) and Mansfield Park (Patricia Rozema, 1999). The parents, played by Ned Beaty and Gemma Jones are also familiar faces and the celebrated director, Anthony Page is best known to me for the mini-series of Middlemarch (1994). Yet, that doesn't mean it will be any good. But it was.

The title, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, alludes to Frances O'Connor's character who refers to herself in the first act as 'Maggie the Cat'. Caught in an impractical marriage and oppressive family of in-laws (who are happy to admit to eavesdropping and other intrusive behaviour) the playwright illustrates how financial concerns

dictate the most of her behaviour and its effect on her husband. With what felt like an almost continual monologue from Maggie throughout the first act, I was surprised at how quickly it was over. Her highly strung performance at times seemed to overtake the actress who flung herself around the stage, to such a believable extent that I forgot how far away I was from her and wanted to go up to offer sympathy.

Strangely yet successfully the play was performed in three acts, with two intervals (so twice as much ice-cream!).

This completely diverted from the complete length of the running time (roughly three hours) and allowed the director to move slowly between all of the issues raised by the Pulitzer Prize winning drama. All the action takes place in one evening, and because of Brick's broken ankle, in the same room, one symbolically surrounded by open windows and doors, a representation of the lack of privacy available to all.

Like many other Tennessee Williams' plays there are familiar themes such as repression, human fragility, Southern gentility and sexuality, in both straight and gay contexts. In fact, because this production is based on an 'updated version' of the play and film(s), these are much closer to the surface and more openly discussed than I could believe Williams' would have written himself. Yet, it does not feel misplaced. The director sensitively recreated the period feel of 1950s Southern American while maintaining relevance for

the modern audience.

Other familiar features of Williams' writing are noticeable in this production.

The beautifully lyrical speeches, which are delivered powerfully by a cast, thankfully not inhibited by their accents; the gentle balance of human tragedy mixed with human comedy. It has often been written that Tennessee Williams would include a part for a very attractive young man in his plays for the pleasure of watching him during rehearsals (Think Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire) and I don't think he could have been disappointed with the chisel-jawed Fraser, who, much to my pleasure, has to be on stage wearing only his shorts on more than one occasion. (And O'Connor continues the current West End trend of making the central actress undress, if not completely, on stage.)

At the end of the performance, I hadn't noticed that I had been leaning forward throughout the play (partly to get closer to the action and partly to see past the handrail blocking my view). Nor was I aware that three hours had passed. I was completely and utterly absorbed by a fantastic production acted by a group of exceptionally talented actors of a play of my nowfavourite playwright (in fact, probably the only playwright I've seen more than one play of, excluding Shakespeare - I am an English student after all!). If you have the time, this is one West End production which is worth forking out for. And I know I want to see it again, so I should start saving now…

star-struck stage technician who once played a part in the Wizard of Oz with the fictional 'York Light Opera Company', is going to have to read his lines from bits of script stuck to various props (including the underside of a tea-pot). Darren is going to stand in as Merriman the Butler and the handyman Lane, and yet he proceeds to appear in his various entrances as a western ranch-hand (or was it Woody from Toy Story?), Dorothy (from the Wizard of Oz), a high Priest, and a 30's, 40's, and 50's style Butler.

Maggie and Sue take on their male leads with conviction and a unique comic style, including various moments of vowel abuse (think Harry Enfield's CholmondleyWarner accent), inimical methods of walking, facial twitches, and wildly varied tones of voice. They dominate the show as a comedy duo; Maggie's lanky frame and swooning action being appropriately androgynous; Sue's low tones and affected man-stance, including irreverent headthrowing-about, complementing the absurdity of Algernon's character.

As the show progresses, and the roles are swopped, it eventually appears to be a free-for-all in which a role can be played by whomsoever chooses it. At one point, four actors come on as the same character, and eventually Darren makes his last bid

for fame by stealing the role of Miss Cecily Cardew. The play is putty in the hands of these mavericks.

The sets are as dynamic as the casting.

Nothing is as it first appears at each new scene. A huge hand-bag suspended above cow-skin lounges opens out into a very steep hill-side scene (complete with climbing sheep) through which the forbidding Lady Bracknell bursts. The sets are so complex that two intervals are needed to changed them. A scooter, a juke-box, a collapsing wardrobe full of hand-bags, and a pair of sofas made out of books all correspond to the conventions of the play that Wilde stuck to- in order to mock them.

Having the female roles played by alltoo-masculine actors John Griffin and Matthew Vaughan adds an element of panto which threatened to ruin the tonguein-cheek style by being too brash, but was rescued by the fact that Wilde's women in the play are brash, and perhaps he never intended so much as a sniff of subtlety about them.

Lawrence Till, the play's director, writes 'the play deals with what happens when the natural order is turned upside down and the rules are broken'. Lip Service et al broke even more rules to create a fine show of sheer lunacy with some clever comic acting.

Woven Words Alistar Smith THE PROGRAMME notes declared 'You are welcome to knit during the performance'; the production was sponsored by Sirdar (The leading branded spinner of hand knitted yarn in the UK, in case you didn't know); and the kind people behind this event (Simon Thackeray and Sirnar) had organised 'pre-concert knitting classes'.

If this wasn't strange enough, more than three quarters of the audience were knitting during the performance, and there was a small prize at the end for the best piece of knitwear produced. So far, so strange.

Presumably, the idea of this production was to interweave four monologues with guitar, cornet, viola and knitting needle (yes, knitting needle) music. The preinterval section of the show, however, consisted of a rather woolly mockimpromptu introduction from the performers: Ian

McMillan, from Bradford, with the spoken word; Andy Diagram, from the pop group 'James', with a digitally altered trumpet; Angie Harrison, from the Hallé orchestra, with a viola; and Billy Jenkins, occasionally from this planet, with what sometimes passed as guitar music.

The main flaw to this idea was that Ian MacMillan's jokes weren't particularly amusing (Did you hear the one about the woolberg which sunk the Titanic?), and Jenkins' yelping guitar music drowned out the sound of Harrison's viola. The only highlight of this section of the show was Diagram's solo on the cornet. He had wired his instrument up to a mixing deck, and used live sequencing to superimpose his own music on top of itself. This created an ethereal effect, which moved effortlessly from Primal Scream-style party horns, to New Orleans funereal music, to

a sound which seemed oddly reminiscent of wedding bells.

The second half of the show, the production of 'Hat' itself, was an extremely welcome antidote to what had come before. It turned out that Ian McMillan really could spin a yarn about, well, yarn.

His first three monologues were at worst interesting and at best intriguing or hilarious. The first concerned a teacher and his wife who knitted a full-size boat to save some drowning sailors; the second was a more mysterious episode about 'one-handed Alice, Alice in the hat' who could knit faster than anyone with her single hand, and had been alive, apparently, since the beginning of time.

The third, a story about a woman who is visited by death as her brain slowly turns to wool (an allusion, I presume to Alzheimer's disease) was honestly moving, and at times disturbing. The final monologue of the quartet, screamed at the audience by all four members of the production, a polemic praising the wonders of t h e 'hat',

bordered on indoctrination, and was a bit too much to take.

However this was easily made up for by the beautiful set pieces of music which Jenkins had written to 'knit' together the four stories. Harrison's viola playing was allowed to shine at the forefront, particularly when she plucked in time with Jenkins' well-restrained guitar. Their forays into blues, jazz and classical music were given depth by Diagram's cornet and samples and, unlike in the first half, it all wove together beautifully.

Although this production was for the most part skilled and enjoyable, it too often veered into the trap of being selfconsciously avant-guard. This meant that although you came out of the show with a smile on your face, and punctures on your neck from your over-enthusiastic neighbours, you were also left wondering, 'What was the (needle) point?'

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December 4th 2001 yorkVision

Antigone: Take Two

ARTS : 27

december / january

ON AROUNDYORK ...WHAT’S Theatre Royal

Jack and the Beanstalk 12 Dec-2 Feb EXIBITION SQUARE, YORK BOX OFFICE: 623568 York Barbican Centre Jools Holland 18-19 Dec, 7.30pm BARBICAN ROAD, YORK BOX OFFICE: 656688 The Grand Opera House

Dick Whittington 13 Dec-6 Jan

Vision sent Louise Burns to preview the week nine DramaSoc produciton of Antigone, and she caught up with the directors in the process AS THE first term draws to a close, everyone tends to forget about the final events on campus. Unless of course they involve Christmas or copious amounts of alcohol.

However, there is still one DramaSoc production left in week nine.

Antigone, written by the French playwright Jean Anouilh is being put on by two second year English students, Jonathan Statham and Stewart Melton. It is a reworking of the original Greek Tragedy written in the 1940s, under Nazi control in occupied France. I spoke to the two directors to find out about the play and their feelings about directing a play for the first time.

Have you altered the original script to try to present any particular message?

JS: We have made a few changes to the translation, although this was only to update it and to try to give it a more modern feel. The play was written in the 1940s, although it is not set in any particular time. Due to this the script was more open to interpretation, and we were able play around with it a bit more.

Have lights, music, scenery and special effects been used in any specific way?

JS: The set itself is fairly minimalist, because we wanted the play speak for

itself. There is gauze at the back of the stage though, as a metatheatrical device.

SM: However, we did feel that lighting was a crucial part of the play. The entire action only takes play over the space of one day, and this means that the climax is during mid-day when the light is strongest. Therefore, the lighting is acting as a tragic convention to mirror the action of the play.

Antigone is quite an emotional play.

Because of this, did you find it particularly difficult to direct?

SM: We looked at it mainly from a technical point of view- that we needed to work through each scene systematically.

JS: We also had to be careful though, and the play needed to be bought down to the right level. With a tragedy it can very easily become farcical or overly melodramatic, and so we tried hard to avoid this.

How does working on Antigone differ from your previous experiences in the theatre?

JS: Neither of us have ever directed a whole play before, only single scenes, which is partly why we are working together on Antigone.

SM: We also found the play very interesting, especially the way Anouilh adapts

traditional Greek tragedy. He makes a very potent political statement through his writing.

Why did you want to direct, and what made you choose Antigone in particular?

JS: The project itself actually came from the translator, Aniel Biltoo, who asked us to direct Antigone. He wanted to translate the play and then have it performed, and wondered if we would like to direct it.

SW: Antigone as a play also captured our attention- we saw it and thought 'yes'!

JS: Directing seemed to be a way to expand our acting experience, and so we thought that it would be useful in that respect.

How have you found directing a play different from acting in one?

JS: Directing has given us an overall view of the play, which you do not get from acting. This way we can view it externally and as a whole, rather than concentrating on the one character we are playing.

SM: It is also a good way to interact with everyone involved in the play. Usually with acting the time restrictions mean that it is only at the end of rehearsals that the play can be seen as a whole. Directing means that you can watch the entire play,

Some of the Antigone cast in rehearsal

Grease 14-19 Jan

and see how it develops and changes through the rehearsals.

JS: With directing, it's also more a case of aiding rather than doing, which I find to be more rewarding.

CLIFFORD STREET, YORK BOX OFFICE: 671818

What do you think you have gained from directing?

SM: With directing you do have to think about areas which you wouldn't consider if acting, such as all the administration details. There are also other different areas, such as risk assessment.

JS: As I said before, it's also more rewarding to watch the play develop as a whole, and to interact with it at every stage.

Finally, have there been any conflicts between you or the cast?

JS: There have been differences of opinion, but no major clashes! Our rehearsals do try to be quite explorative, in the way that we see the script and subsequently interpret it.

SM: We try to have an agreement between everyone that they can express their opinions. It's quite a free way of working, as everyone in the scene contributes.

Antigone is being performed on Friday, Saturday and Sunday of Week 9. Jonathan and Stewart encourage you to go & watch!

York Opera surprise Peter Edwards visits the Joseph Rowntree theatre and discovers what opera in York has to offer...

OPERA IN the UK is not at its best at the moment, and the English National Opera and the Royal Opera House must bare some of the blame for this. This Autumn, the ENO once again put on productions of ‘La Traviata’ and ‘La Boheme’ and ‘The Marriage of Figaro’. Solid productions they were, but there has been an all too ready desire to revert to the productions of tried and tested composers such as Verdi, Puccini and Mozart.

The Royal Opera House, sadly, offers an equally unadventurous range; plenty more of the same three composers, as well as two more Wagner productions.

In light of this homogeneity it was a rare pleasure to see the amateur company, York Opera, diverting from national trends in the choice of two rarely performed one

act operas. Puccini's ‘Sister Angelica’ and Menotti's ‘Amahl and the Night Visitors’ were delightfully unexpected choices to be put on at the Joseph Rowntree Theatre in York, and with the limited resources at their disposal they did well.

‘Sister Angelica’ is set in a convent, and relates the story of the eponymous nun who illicitly gave birth to a child seven years ago. She discovers that her son is dead, and prepares a deadly poison with which to end her life. However, as death looms she realises she has committed a terrible sin and calls on the Virgin Mary for forgiveness. Julia Ledger conveyed the full measures of her character's emotions, and although she could not reach some of the highest notes, one must bear in mind that this was an amateur pro-

duction. Unfortunately, the chorus of Sisters were not quite as able, and failed to match Ledger in terms of quality.

After a slow start the supporting cast became more dynamic, and did do some justice to Puccini's majestic harmonies.

The conclusion had a strong impact as Angelica lay prostrate on the stage, and Ledger won a deserved round of applause from an appreciative audience.

‘Amahl and the Night Visitor’ was an altogether different proposition; a less successful work, although offering farce and Christmas cheer. Designed for performance on television in 1951, it tells the story of Amahl, a lame boy, and his long-suffering mother. They live in a humble hut, but are visited one night by the Three Kings on their journey to Bethlehem, who seek

somewhere to rest. Much comic impact is created through Amahl's reports of their arrival to a disbelieving mother, and Ben Lindley was a very impressive as Amahal.

However, the real highlight of the evening was Linda Baxter as his mother, who acted well and sang magnificently.

After attempting to steal some of the Kings' gold she is suitably repentant, and her son offers the Kings his crutch as a gift for the baby to be born in Bethlehem. As a reward for this selfless act he is cured of his lameness, and is himself able to accompany the Kings to the Nativity. The Kings sang competently, but it was a real surprise to hear the quality of Baxter's voice in an amateur production.

The bold choice of these short operas by an amateur company should provoke the larger auditoriums in York to consider a broader range of productions themselves. If they do so, they can only benefit.

Riding Lights Theatre Company Angel at Large Sat 8 Dec, 6.30pm Shepherds’ Delight Sat 22 Dec, 2.30pm & 6.30pm FRIARGATE THEATRE, LOWER FRIARGATE, YORK BOX OFFICE: 655317 City Screen Primitive ‘A selection of paintings from early abstract figuration to universal abstraction’ 1 Dec-14 Jan, 11am-9pm CONEY STREET, YORK TEL: 541144 West Yorkshire Playhouse Singin’ in the Rain 10 Dec-23 Feb, 7.30pm PLAYHOUSE SQUARE, QUARRY HILL, LEEDS BOX OFFICE:0113 213 7700 Harrogate International Centre Victoria Wood: At it again Sun 9 Dec, 7.30pm Tickets: £25 & £10 KINGS ROAD, HARROGATE BOX OFFICE: 01423 537230 Theatre in the Mill Art to see: World Religious, Universal Peace and Global Ethic ‘A German exhibition produced by Hans Kung, the famous theologian’ Mon 3 Dec-Wed 19 Dec UNIVERSITY OF BRADFORD, RICHMOND ROAD, BRADFORD BOX OFFICE: 01274 233023

28 : FILMS yorkVision

December 4th 2001

FILMS

films@vision.york.ac.uk

www.yorkvision.co.uk

Coming out of the closet

Monsters, Inc. looks set to become one of the biggest films of 2002 and continue the success of the Pixar animation team, responsible for Toy Story and A Bug’s Life. Simon Keal spoke to the film’s directors and executive producer PIXAR, THE animation company responsible for Toy Story and A Bug’s Life, will return to our screens in February of next year with their fourth film, Monsters Inc. Already doing healthy business in America, the film plays on the familiar manifestation-of-childhood-fantasies theme of previous Pixar films, this time turning its attention to the creatures who, so the worry goes, undoubtedly inhabit the darker corners of the prepubescent bedroom.

Vision spoke to Lee Unkrich and Pete Docter, the film’s directors, and John Lasseter, the executive producer best known for directing Toy Story.

S o how did the idea c o m e about? “It actually started way back when, around the time we were working on Toy Story,” says Lasseter. “Pete and I worked on the story together. He was the supervising animator.

Lee and I went on to A Bug’s Life afterwards, but I always knew Pete was going to direct his own movie one day, so I asked him to skip A Bug’s Life and start thinking about what the movie after it would be.”

Docter explained the film’s unsurprising gestation. “There were two things that I knew were true for me as a kid. One - that my toys came to life when

I wasn’t in the room. And two - that there were monsters hiding in my closet waiting to scare me. And it seemed like a lot of other people had the same experience.”

This is perhaps the key to Pixar films’ appeal - that their central premise can always be easily identified with. John Lasseter agrees: “What we strive to do is try to come up with some aspect, subject matter or something of our film, that really the audience can relate to. After we started talking about everybody’s own personal experiences we knew this was a comm o n

theme.”

As with Toy Story and A Bug’s Life, however, this theme needed a particular twist in order to give it its distinct i v e

appeal.

D o c t e r explains: “Basically the idea came out of trying to answer

the question why monsters scare kids.

Clearly they don’t just do it because they’re mean and cool, although that’s what you get told. So, knowing that children are an extremely unstable source of energy, we thought maybe that the monsters go in, scare the kids to collect their scream and the scream is the power source of the monster world. It basically extrapolated from that.”

Docter, Lasseter and Unkrich all have children of their own. Did they enjoy it? “I have two young kids and they both love the movie,” says Unkrich. “In fact, they gave us these giant plush stuffed animal versions of Sulley and when I took it home the very first thing my four and a half-year old did was run up to him, hug him and say, ‘I saw this movie called Monsters Inc. and...you’re in it!’. It’s the most rewarding thing for us working on these films - kids just take these characters to heart and think of them as being real people that they care about.”

Lasseter emphasises the film’s broad appeal. “At Pixar, we always kind of make movies for o u r selves.

We ’ r e adults, reasonably intelligent, we love to laugh and be moved as an audience.”

O f course, Pixar’s chief contribution to the film indus- t r y has been the extraordinary advances they have made in animation - and with

the likes of Shrek lighting up cinemas this year, their style has clearly been influential. “The technical development is always driven by the needs of the story,” Particularly ground-breaking is Sully’s incredibly life-like and minutely detailed fur. “When Pete came up with this idea to have the main character be furry, it was a big challenge,” Lasseter continues. “The technical artists love being challenged and Pixar is a pioneering company. Everything we’ve ever done - short films and features - no-one’s ever done or seen before. I think that’s intoxicating.” Docter explains the dynamics of the fur. “We devised this system where the animators worked with a bald Sulley and a such they’re free to work on the gestures and emotions. It’s all automatic, so it works out pretty well.”

Given that Pixar-style animations are now cropping up in multiplexes on a regular basis, it’s interesting to find out what kind of rivalry exists between studios. Is there much co-operation and sharing of ideas, or is it more adversarial than that?

Unkrich: “It has gotten more competitive so certain things you do hold back, or maybe hold back a few years and then publish them. The computer animation community back before Toy Story definitely was a community.” Lasseter adds, “You know, that drives us because if we see something that maybe we thought was too hard for us to do but somebody else has done it, then that’s just going to challenge us to achieve something in our own films.”

A final word to Lee Unkrich: “I love animation and I love the industry. What’s exciting is that when we were producing Toy Story, it was the first computer animated feature film. While we were pro-

“There were two things that I knew were true for me as a kid. One that my toys came to life when I wasn’t in the room. And two - that there were monsters hiding in my closet waiting to scare me” Pete Doctor - Director Monsters Inc.

ducing it there were a lot of people saying that people wouldn’t sit still for an hour and a half of computer animation. We were a little worried but once the movie came out it was a huge success. After that, a lot of our friends at different companies got chances to do the same thing. If you count the last two years, you have Dinosaur, you have Final Fantasy, you have Shrek, Jimmy Neutron, and then Monsters Inc. All computer animated films. It’s very, very exciting.”

Monster bunch You know who. But why?

Paul Cosby

Monsters, Inc. Cert TBC Director Pete Doctor Starring John Goodman,

Billy Crystal, Steve Buscemi (USA) 95 Mins SO WHAT’S all the fuss about? Well, for a start Monsters, Inc. has already smashed box office records in the States, taking a staggering $63.5 million in its opening weekend – a new record for an animated film. What’s more Monsters fully deserves its success, Pixar have lavished the same charm, wit and sumptuous animation on this project as with their previous works, namely Toy Story and A Bug’s Life. Like Toy Story, Monsters, Inc. deals with the truisms of the childhood imagination, this time the focus is the fear of things that go bump in the night rather than the secret life of toys but the medium works just as well.

The film concerns the tribulations of the ‘ S c r e a m Processing Factory’ of the title, concentrating particularly on its top kid scarer James P. Sullivan - or Sully to his friends - a laconic bluefurred monster voiced by John Goodman, and his ‘Scare Assistant’ Mike Wazowski (Billy Crystal), a overly-opinionated oneeyed green creature with an unerring resemblance to Danny from Hear’Say. Both are employed by Monsters Inc., who operate a door to every child’s bedroom in order to collect the screams of children which can be processed into electricity power the city of Monsteropolis (hence their motto “We scare because we care”).

However, it’s not a great time to be a kid scarer, “Kids are so hard to scare nowadays” has become something of a mantra at Monsters Inc. and the city of Monsteropolis is experiencing an energy

crisis. Sully’s position as top scarer is also under threat from the sarcastic, reptilian Randall Biggs (Steve Buscemi) who nicely fulfils the role of film bad-guy and whose chicanery results in the release of a young girl into the monster world. This provokes something of a crisis as monsters, who make a living from terrifying toddlers, are themselves scared of kids.

Except of course for our hero Sully who becomes a surrogate father to the girl (who he names ‘Boo!’) and is determined to return her safely to her bedroom.

After the initial explosion of ideas however the plot does seem to wear a little thin and veers towards formulaic predictability (but then so does finding quibbles with perfectly good films to make reviews seem more balanced) and a stunning action sequence towards the end provides more than ample distraction from this.

Despite this Monsters Inc. is not ovely-reliant on its animation, which is never-the-less sumptious. This is especially apparent with Sully, who is covered by 3.2 million animated hairs, each of which moves independently.

Pixar have upto now set the standard for computer generated film-making, and with Monsters, Inc. the bar is set yet higher for future pictures. Monsters, Inc. also confirms the studio as the foremost practitioners of the ‘kids movie for adults’ ethos which has led to their films’ phenomenal success. Monsters Inc. continues in the tradition of Toy Story and A Bug’s Life by including enough intelligence and humour to the satisfy the more mature viewer while remaining essentially innocent enough to appeal to youngsters too – a frightening achievement.

Monsters, Inc. is released in the UK on 8th Feb. 2002

Adrian Butler

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone Cert PG Director Chris Columbus Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Alan Rickman, Robbie Coltrane (UK) 152 mins WIZARD! Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone has turned out to be an enchanting film, every bit as good as everyone’s saying it is. Take the whole family and prepare to be dazzled!

And another ‘review’ in just about any newspaper or magazine is filed by another ‘critic’. After all, taking a negative attitude wouldn’t really be on: people want to read about how good it is, how reassuringly old-fashioned, how British. Criticising it would be like criticising the Beatles.

All this national pride must be making the chattering classes decidedly uneasy.

Years ago, and on a warm recommendation from the TLS, they bought their above-average children copies of Harry Potter. Now the tie-in jellybeans, aggressively pushed at one point in the film, have made their children hyperactive and sick. And you can’t really ask Waterstone’s to gift-wrap a nice hardback copy of the Harry Potter videogame.

Having sniggered at Harry’s awful uncle and aunt reading the Daily Mail, they now see the voice of little England running a series of tie-in features and competitions. And they are slowly realising that the toys’ prices weren’t calculated to put off all but loaded fantasy figure freaks.

Their makers knew that, eventually, every parent in Britain would pay. If Harry’s fat spoilt cousin Dudley were real, guess what he’d be asking for this December?

With so many people’s careers riding on whether or not this film is a success, Dreamworks’s choice of director is no surprise. Chris Columbus (the man behind the Casper franchise) is used getting intergenerational bums on seats.

Columbus’ drippy style is simply not in keeping with Rowling’s restrained nar-

Columbus’ drippy style is simply not in keeping with Rowling’s restrained narrative tone rative tone. Remember that bit in Home Alone, where Columbus showed us Macauley Culkin in a church, praying that he wouldn’t get twatted by a cuddly Joe Pesci? Comparable scenes with Harry’s dead parents provide worrying unintentional humour.

Columbus’s main problem, though, is his daft camera work and dodgy comic timing – given expensive dolly cameras to play with he leaves the audience nauseous.

And if the cinematography makes the viewer’s stomach turn over, the music really makes you reach for the popcorn bucket. John Williams’s score is mixed far too loud, and it’s really nothing to be proud of – he does his usual job of ripping off his favourite composers, and even nicks his own Home Alone music for the

theme.

As you will have heard, Harry’s crap, constantly putting on a stoic, ‘I know’ face that you just want to clock: Spielberg was right – the kid from The Sixth Sense would have been better. Ron and Hermione are at least Byker Grove standard, but Malfoy spends the film hamming it with his best Jack from Lord of the Flies.

American views of our differing accents shine through – all the baddies talk like Jeremy Irons, the Scottish bloke’s well fit, and the only northerner in the production’s overweight, thick Neville Longbottom whose spells always go wrong.

As far as the adults go, it’s good to see another group of thesps putting in their one-day’s filming for another ‘British’ film. John Cleese has cannily got on board both big franchises, playing both a genial ghost and Q’s hilarious replacement.

But let’s not get too precious about this. In all honesty, the best thing about the books is simply that Harry’s good at everything and gets lots of cool stuff. The film’s special effects team have made him better than we imagined at Quidditch, and the stuff he gets is cooler that any reader could have imagined on their own.

One of Rowling’s readers will simply pass the two-and-a-half hours waiting for the next set piece from the book, and won’t be disappointed when it comes along.

The makers have always emphasised their fidelity to the book, under huge pressure from a gang of Potter anoraks and Rowling herself. Yet this is the area in which the team behind Harry Potter should have been daring. The book’s structure is wrong for a film, and should have been tightened up.

Despite all this, Columbus has already been vindicated – everyone has seen this film and almost everybody loves it.

Like metaphorical Santa Claus, he’s made Christmas come early for a large chunk of the film and toy industries, and made a lot of children very happy.

Czech it out

www.yorkvision.co.uk

films@vision.york.ac.uk

John Jackson

Little Ottik (Otensanek) Cert 15 Director Jan Svankmajer Starring Veronika Zilkova,

Jan Hartl, Kristina Adamcova (Czech Republic) 131 mins A STAR-STUDDED explosive action adventure! A story of two teen stoners on a gross-out mission to get laid! Little Otik is neither of these. Those still reading will hopefully have realised that the recent spate of foreign films onto our screens (the Mexican Amores Perros and Taiwanese Yi Yi being two epic examples) have shown that the tedious Western replica-directors/ producers such as Bruckheimer and the Farrellys need a swift injection of originality before they die collectively of RSI. Little Otik is another example of foreign freshness. The Czech ‘militant surrealist’ cult director Jan Svankmajer draws on his country’s folklore to conjure a dark whimsical tale set in a world that’s 90% ours and 10% a child’s nightmare. The story revolves around Bozena Horak (Zilkova) and her husband Kare (Hartl), or more specifically their futile wish to become parents. One day, Karel digs up

the roots of a tree and, as an apparent joke, carves them into the vague shape of a baby. A maternal desperation takes hold of his wife and she caresses the ‘baby’ as one of her own, naming it Otik, clothing it, washing (or varnishing) it, changing its nappies etc. Gradually, to Bozena’s delight, the carved stump starts to show signs of life. Things become far far weirder, when Otik is discovered to have something of an appetite...

But before you say “rrriiiiiiiiiight”, this shouldn’t be dismissed as B-movie overt weirdness-for-the hell-of-it. The film has its own internal dream-logic. The Horaks and their neighbours go about their daily lives, with startling punctures of bizarre neurotic symbolism, such as a street-vendor standing outside a fertility clinic selling squealing babies, fresh out of a vat, as if they were cuts of meat. Once drawn in, it’s difficult to escape and we begin to be absorbed by it all, almost understanding Bozena’s obsessive love for something so hideous.

Otik’s sprawling branches are brought to life by Svankmajer’s stuttering stopmotion animation. Its crudeness, juxtaposed with live action, is amazingly effective and adds an appropriately childish feel. The grotesque protrusions of teeth and eyes would disturb even the likes of

Terry Gilliam, and indeed the two-dimensional animated re-telling of the folk-tale on which the film is based has the essence of dark Monty Python.

Svankmajer also excels in portraying tactile sensation, extensively using closeup cinematography. We can smell and taste glistening wet food, we can feel the textures of the doll’s hard wood. And of bones. And blood. Steer clear of food during this film as this, combined with the many close-ups of mouths slurping soup and chewing bread, will leave you feeling queasy. With the addition of sounds of crying babies sprinkled throughout, the eerie result will make you shudder.

With such attention to detail, it seems that Svankmajer had an almost paternal fondness for this film. However, as a result Little Otik is much too long and repetitive, dragging through two hours a premise perfect for a 30-minute short.

With the plot written for him, one would expect Svankmajer to have a more imaginative take on the ending, which sadly peters out.

Initially the acting is passionate and enthusiastic, especially in the case of Alzbetka, an intelligent young girl who understands her twisted fairytale world more than the bemused adults around her.

But at the 90-minute mark most of the actors seem tired and their performance is, ahem, wooden.

But is that the point? Is this a film about uncaring humanity where the need for creation simply fuels the need for consumption? Or is it about the extent to which a mother-child relationship can be stretched? Or is it...etc. etc. Svankmajer’s baby is screaming out for a coherent psychological message but instead just offers hints of ideas, which will nevertheless echo in your mind a long while after viewing.

So then, - A dark thought-provoking folk-tale of a carnivorous baby tree!

Whatever you think of Little Otik, it certainly makes a refreshing and memorable

December 4th 2001 yorkVision

FILMS : 29

Undercover and over the top Thom Collins

Spy Game

Cert 15 Director Tony Scott Starring Robert Redford, Brad Pitt (USA) 127 mins FROM THE opening scene of Spy Game, you know what to expect; a frenetic, complex and engaging thriller. This style will be familiar to anyone who has seen any of Director Tony Scott’s other work; although not as famous as his brother Ridley, Scott has an impressive record of producing clever, action-packed movies such as Crimson Tide and Enemy of the State.

Spy Game begins with the arrest of rogue CIA operative Tom Bishop (Brad Pitt) in early 1990’s China. We then follow his former mentor Nathan Muir (Robert Redford), working his last day in Washington before retirement, as he attempts to outsmart both the Chinese and the CIA suits to free Bishop before he is executed. Much of the story unfolds in flashbacks as Muir recounts his experiences with Bishop to his suspicious superiors, who have reluctantly called him in to help with the operation. The flashbacks allow the audience to see the developing relationship between mentor and protégé over the course of almost 20 years and on several continents. It is this relationship, full of respect and mutual admiration, that explains the lengths to which Muir is prepared to go in order to save Bishop. The clever use of these flashbacks, interspersed with Muir’s frantic last day at work, enables Spy Game to narrowly avoid being simply another Hollywood thriller-by-numbers.

This relatively sophisticated narrative is accompanied by Scott’s trademark flashy photography and pounding soundtrack. There is a fantastic array of cinematography, from explosive battle sequences in Vietnam, Beirut and China, to an amazing whirlwind rooftop scene in Berlin. As

for the performers, Pitt does an excellent job with a fairly mediocre script and inevitably manages to look impossibly cool in a variety of dangerous locations.

Robert Redford, the Brad Pitt of his generation, on the other hand, is much less exciting and brings very little to their relationship or the film in general. His leathery, tanned face dominates the screen but he seems strangely uncommitted.

Spy Game also suffers from the usual problems that afflict mainstream Hollywood spy thrillers; the plot is overcomplex at times and doesn’t stand up to too much scrutiny. It is as if the filmmakers have decided to bombard the audience with as many ideas as possible so they won’t notice that some of the plot lines aren’t entirely coherent. As with most films of any genre, there is also an overly simplistic distinction between good and bad. Redford’s character is infinitely clever whilst the majority of his colleagues seem particularly gullible and inept for well-trained intelligence operatives. Of course, these only really become problems if the movie is taken too seriously. However, other aspects of the film are harder to ignore. The love story, between Pitt and the instantly irritating Catherine McCormick, is both unconvincing and underdeveloped. In addition, the main section of the narrative, which takes place in war-torn Beirut, is unnecessarily lengthy and laborious, especially given that the rest of the film is so hectic.

Indeed, the climax is rather too rushed and whilst it is thankfully cliché-free, it feels somewhat unsatisfying.

Despite these criticisms, Spy Game is well worth watching. If you’re after two hours of mindless entertainment to distract you from the banalities of everyday life, you could do a lot worse.

Just sit back, switch off and suspend you disbelief.

‘Now’ with added Sheen Interview Now Martin Nicholson Apocalypse Now Redux Cert 15 Director Francis Ford Coppola Starring Martin Sheen, Robert Duvall, Dennis Hopper, Marlon Brando (USA) 203 min APOCALYPSE NOW is a landmark in the history of film. A film of truly epic proportions, it marked the end of Hollywood’s golden era of the 70s by teaching the directors and producers of that time exactly how not to make a blockbuster - too much money, too much time, and no control.

Francis Ford Coppola brought the project to life in the mid-70s after reading John Milius’s script (loosely based on Joseph Conrad’s novel Heart of Darkness), despite a general feeling in Hollywood that America was not quite ready for a film about the Vietnam War. In 1976, after booting out would-be director George Lucas (who stormed off to make Star Wars instead) Coppola set off for the Philippines to begin the now legendary shoot, which was fraught with disaster. After crew problems and endless reshoots, seasonal monsoons started in May and production was halted. The sets were washed away as Coppola sat at home nursing the few minutes of workable footage he had shot.

The film was already millions of dollars over-budget, the cast and crew were sick with tropical diseases, and the studio was calling for Coppola’s head. Returning in early 1977 for the final phase of shooting, Coppola was estranged by his entire crew who, unsurprisingly, insulted him and criticised his methods.

Everything seemed doomed when Martin Sheen suffered a heart attack in March ‘77, but miraculously he recovered in a matter of weeks and returned to finish the film. After a 238-day shoot, the budget had rocketed from $13million to over $40million, and there were 250 hours of footage to be cut into a film.

Apocalypse Now Redux is the new “director’s cut” version of the film, fully remastered and with an added 50 minutes

of deleted scenes which bumps the film up to a whopping 203 minutes in length. That may seem like a daunting amount of time to spend in a cinema, but please, trust me when I tell you that an eternity of the most painful bottom-ache imaginable could not make you regret seeing this film. It amazed me. For a start, the cinematography is breathtaking. I never realised that anything made before the 90’s could look this good, but the green tropical jungle looks so lush you could just drink it and the colours of the sky cover the whole spectrum.

The film is best described as a frightening, hellish nightmare, seen through the eyes of Captain Willard, an unfortunate American GI whose mission is to travel up a river into the heart of the Vietnam jungle, and put an end to the machinations of the crazed renegade Colonel Kurtz.

Along the way things get increasingly ludicrous and terrifying as Willard’s life, and sanity, are threatened by surf-mad Air Cavalry colonels, Vietnamese soldiers and peasants, tigers, parrots and his own motley gunboat crew. This spellbinding journey shows the madness and horror of war in visceral detail, and becomes increasingly chilling and tense as Willard reaches Kurtz’s surreal hideaway and prepares for

the final showdown.

The main reason for the added footage is that it’s supposed to make the film more entertaining and accessible than the original, and I have to say it works very well. A lot of die-hard Apocalypse Now fans have complained that the Redux version is bloated, dumbed down, and a far cry from the original. However, audiences have changed a lot in 20 years, and the overwhelming positive response to Redux demonstrates how its re-release is allowing a whole new generation to fall in love with Coppola’s epic.

The added scenes, including more of Colonel Kilgore and his surfboard; a meeting with some French plantation owners; an encounter with a helicopterfull of Playboy Bunnies; and more time inside Kurtz’s compound, help the film seem less hurried and also provide the story with a more human and objective perspective, rather than the anti-war political angle of the original.

At once a stunning work of art, a chilling psychological character study, and a deluded, surrealist vision of war, Apocalypse Now (whether experienced in plain vanilla or Redux flavour) is simply best described as classic cinema.

How do you go about improving one of

Paul Hirons the best movies ever? Vision spoke to Dean Tavoularis, Walter Murch and Aurure Clement some of the key men responsible for ‘reduxing’ Apocalypse Now to find out how.

Vision: Can you give us your take on this version of Apocalypse Now? DEAN TAVOULARIS: Well I think the great gift is that this reissue really completed the film as it should be. Normally a film that comes out in 1979 is not necessarily going to get this kind of exposure a second time. That’s very gratifying for me.

WALTER MURCH: And as it turned out this version is much more like the original screenplay, both in terms of the sequence of events and the number of events and their relationships. You see the reasons behind certain things that in the previous version you had to accept at face value. It’s not to deny the previous version, it’s just these are different approaches to the same material.

Vision: Is there any footage left?

WM: There are some bits and pieces that were not included in the finished version. There is more material with Brando. Whether this will be included in the DVD I don’t know. The amount of screen time that his character has is a delicate balance between too much and not enough, and we felt that the one scene we added of him was enough, particularly because it showed him in the daylight and in full figure.

To show more would be to start to tip

the balance too much.

Vision: Has the restoration of footage changed the moral tone of the film?

WM: Well, if you read the shooting script of Apocalypse Now what you see on the screen is very much what you read in the script. So that if the moral tone has changed, it’s more a reflection of what Francis and everyone else went out to capture when they went out to shoot the film.

Vision: It’s still kind of topical in as much as it asks difficult questions of men in war. Has that struck you?

WM: Yes, but there are many, many differences between the Vietnam conflict and what’s going on now. Back then we were at war with the state. Now we seem to be at war with a state of mind.

There is no Hanoi that we can bomb in this case other than poor Afghanistan who is really held hostage by history.

Vision: When did you become aware of the classic the film quickly came to be?

AURURE CLEMENT Well I observed it in 1979. Clearly it was going to be a masterpiece. There was no doubt that it was going to be a classic.

DT: During the filming I felt this was not your ordinary film. It was something deep and powerful. You’re putting all this effort into it and you hope that it’s worthwhile and not just a piece of entertainment that people forget two minutes after they’ve walked out of the theatre.

30 : BOOKS yorkVision

December 4th 2001

BOOKS

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The sprouts they are a-calling...

Emma Jones WHEN I was told that I had an e-mail interview with sci-fi writer and sprout obsessive Robert Rankin, I was amazed.

You see, not only is he the coolest man in fantasy writing today and a bit of a hero of mine, but he's also a complete technophobe (according to most articles about him anyway) who refuses to go on the internet because he can't get a modem on his Remington typewriter.

However, I managed to contain my excitement and he was able to overcome his fear of the keyboard for a quick chat about virgins, sprouts and his recent Elvis style demise.

According to the blurb in your latest book The Fandom of the Operator you died whilst celebrating the millennium and the book was written posthumously through a Brentford medium.

How is the afterlife working out for you?

It's proved to be far more interesting than I might have hoped for. There's been a bit of a mix up with my paperwork and the angel on the gate thinks I'm a Muslim martyr, I've been allotted two hundred virgins to do with as I feel fit. I'm feeling particularly fit at the moment.

Sprouts play a bit of a central role in your books, most notably Barry the timesprout. SFX magazine went so far as to call you 'the sproutmeister'. Is there any particular reason for this fixation with brussels?

I heard that they are to be renamed British Sprouts, apparently because of all the work I've done over the years promoting them. I've never had a fixation with sprouts, they speak to me much in the manner that they speak to anyone else, you know, the little voices in your head. I love

to hear them speak and sing and I naturally follow their commands. But then we all do that, don't we? I don't know why you're picking on me.

In Web Site Story the large computer company 'Mute Corp' are the villains and in The Fandom of the Operator you appear to be having a bit of a dig at the o n e 2 o n e mobile phone company. Does this have anything to do with your own self confessed technophobia?

I tell tall tales for a living. If I'd been a caveman, I would have been telling tall tales about woolly mammoths and sabre-toothed

Rankin trying desperately to block out the little sprout voices

A book to die for

About The Author John Colapinto £10 (4th Estate) Emma Jones

I WAS particularly excited when I saw that John Colapinto had made the difficult transition from journalism to fiction. As a notable journalist for Vanity Fair and Rolling Stone as well as author of the best selling As Nature Made Him, I expected his first novel to be edgy and to keep me in suspense till the last few words. My excitement increased on seeing the plot summary.

Cal Cunningham is a bit of a loser, who left his home in the Midwest after college to go to New York to pursue a career as a writer. Two years down the line, and he has yet to put pen to paper.

When he finds out that his introverted flatmate, Stewart, is actually the new JD Salinger, his jealousy is understandable.

However, an unfortunate altercation with a New York cab leaves Stewart dead.

There is only one thing for Cal to do; steal Stewart's manuscript and pass it off as his own.

Unfortunately, Delia Smith has written more thrilling books Cal then goes on to steal everything that was once Stewart's; his book, his publishing deal and his ex-girlfriend, Janet. Of course this being a suspense novel, it can't end there. Someone finds out about Cal's plagiarism and Cal knows that someone will have to pay dearly if he wants his secret kept with his skeletons.

This novel had the potential to become one of the best books of the year.

It had all the right ingredients; the vibrant back drop of New York City, the cutthroat world of publishing, and, of course, a good old fashioned murder. But - in my opinion - Colapinto unfortunately failed

tigers and five winged marty birds. But nowadays computers are very popular, most people seem to have heard of them. I'm simply writing about what goes on today. Which is what makes me the bestest writer in the country (according to Gavin, one of the sprouts who lives in my head).

W i t h Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, books on screen are in vogue at the moment. Has anyone ever offered to make a film or television programme of one of your books?

I've sold film options to my books many many times.

But there's a lot of books in the world and far fewer films of them ever being made.

I'm still waiting for my golden moment.

Joe Dante, who made Gremlins and suchlike, wanted to make Armageddon:The Musical into a movie. But when he asked the Elvis Presley foundation for permission to use Elvis in the film in the way I had in the book, they said NO! I suggested that I could change Elvis to Buddy Holly, but to no avail. My day will come though.

Gavin says that it will.

Your writing style is very distinctive with footnotes and running gags etc. Is this something you have to work hard to maintain or does writing this way just come naturally to you?

My dad was a carpenter, and he said about carpentry, "If it's hard work, then you're doing it wrong". I think that applies to writing. I really enjoy what I do.

Starting the first chapter is the tricky bit, after that, if all is going well, the book will literally write itself. And if I'm finding it really tricky, then I know I'm doing it wrong, so I go back a bit and restart.

Naturally this is a secret, so don't mention it to anyone.

The protagonists in your books seem to be anti-heroes rather than heroes, but Web Site Story's Kelly seems to be Brentford's answer to Lara Croft.

What's that all about?

I probably shouldn't tell you this either, but that book was written for my girlfriend, the Golden Woman in the dedication. I've never written a strong female lead before because I can't put myself into the head of a woman (except in THAT way, of course). So I don't know how women think. I don't even know how other men think. So it was a challenge to write about Kelly. But then really it wasn't, Kelly wrote her own part. I believe in her.

You have been described by Terry Pratchett as 'one of the few guys who

Pratchett mixes it up

Nanny Ogg’s Cookbook Terry Pratchett, Stephen Briggs, Paul Kidby £7.99 (Orion) Andrew Morrell

to deliver.

He started out well with edgy descriptions of Cal's sexual conquests, mixed with the feeling that something was going to happen at any minute. But the movement of the action from New York to a sleepy Vermont town meant that the book didn't even fizz, let alone bang.

About the Author is described on the back cover as 'a wickedly funny psychological thriller'. With a blurb like that I was expecting a book with twists and turns that would keep me hooked till the end. Unfortunately I've since learned that Delia Smith has written more thrilling books.

I wouldn't call it bad, just disappointingly lacking in the sizzle it could so easily have provided. It rolls on to an end which is neither explosive nor unexpected.

Steven King called it 'a thriller worthy of Hitchcock at his best' and it has been compared to Patricia Highsmith's 'Ripley' novels. Believe me, Cal Cunningham is no Tom Ripley, and Colapinto has a long way to go before he will be a master of suspense.

IT'S ALWAYS difficult writing a review of any new Discworld book. You've got to remember you're writing for two audiences: normal people, and those who have read every book and have evolved complex theories (and in extreme cases, complete philosophies of life) based on Discworld. So for the first group: this book is mediocre. It's got lots of recipes in, and some quite funny bits involving characters you've probably never heard of.

You might even be able to make some food with it. Right. Now, for the second people…

Pratchett has taken the idea of ‘Nanny Ogg's Cookbook’ that first turns up in Maskerade, and the various other recipes that turn up in other Discworld books.

He's chucked in the old jokes, most of which are still very funny, and Paul Kidby has done a new set of pictures. (The pictures are probably the biggest worry for serious Discworld fans. The Patrician does not have a beard. Nanny Ogg doesn't look like that. Although the Librarian's pretty good.) At the end there is Nanny Ogg's "Guide to Etiquette", a collection of bits of advice lifted fairly crudely from the other books.

The first part of this book - the recipes - is probably the most handy for students.

Pratchett has taken "ideas" from the books, like "Klatchian Curry" from Jingo and "Rincewind's Potato Cakes" from The Last Continent, and has then added basic recipes for spaghetti, curries and baked potatoes.

The recipes are okay, if a little predictable, and they do have a tendency to have in at least one horribly expensive ingredient (prime steak, smoked haddock fillets, even smoked oysters in oil) that would price out any student not in James.

But the problem is that the whole idea is so tacky.

This book was clearly rushed out as a

can always make me laugh'. But how do you feel about Terry?

My editor at Bloomsbury told me that he'd spoken to Terry Pratchett and that he was going to write a cover blurb for Armageddon: The Musical. I said, "well, that's very nice, so who is this Terry Pratchett, is he famous?" You see, I haven't read a work of fiction in twenty years.

When I wrote my first book the publishers said "We will publish it, but you'll have to take out all the bits you nicked from Spike Milligan". They were right, I had nicked bits. You always nick stuff when you write your first book. So I said to myself, if I'm going to do this for a living and I want my books to be different from anyone else's, then I'll have to give up reading fiction. So I did. I've met Terry on a number of occasions. I quite like some of his hats.

Another description has been 'a sort of drinking man's HG Wells'. As your 'own greatest critic' as you have previously called yourself, would you agree with this?

I particularly liked the quote that described me as a "Stark Raving Genius".

But then who wouldn't? Comparisons between one writer and another are rarely constructive, but at least they didn't call me the drinking man's Jeffrey Archer.

Finally, it is claimed that you have had 41 jobs. My personal favourite is topless go-go dancer, but what is yours?

I quite liked being Long John Holmes' stunt double. It's coming in quite handy up here in paradise. I have to go now, the virgins, well, ex-virgins are calling.

Farewell.

The Fandom of the Operator published by Doubleday on 8.11.01 price £16.99 & Web Site Story published by Corgi on 8.11.01 price £5.99

Competition!

This issue we have copies of Web Site Story by Robert Rankin and The Truth by Terry Pratchett, both new out in paperback, to give away. To get hold of one of these, all you need to do is answer this simple and very timely question:

What is the name of Harry Potter’s evil cousin?

Answers to books@vision.york. ac.uk or the Vision office by Friday week 1 of the Spring term.

stocking filler. They've taken carefully crafted characters and turned them into one-line clichés and dodgy connections.

You can just imagine a publisher sitting in his office saying: "Well, we need something new for the Christmas market...

Have you got anything Terry? Shit. Well, is there food in your books? Yes, anywhere. Yes? Hmmm…"

The second half of the book is the "Guide to Etiquette", Nanny Ogg's opinions on courtship, table manners and modes of address. Although quite amusing, it suffers from the fact that the jokes are rushed and ill-explained. And his jokes are based on innuendo, on what is unsaid: we know that Nanny Ogg is crude and disgusting, but you can't spell it out.

This book does. What is even worse is the way the book then coyly tries to be shocking, without raising a blush on a nun.

If you've never read Discworld, Nanny Ogg's Cookbook will put you off, and if you like Discworld you'll be disappointed. This book is little more than a contrived stocking-filler, cashing in on a funny series to make a dismal mess.

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December 4th 2001 yorkVision

The secret life of ‘George’

E

The A-Z Guide to Authors IT HAS to be said that writers in general are a funny lot. Not only do they toil for years writing books on, frankly, bizarre subjects, but a lot of them don't even want their own names put to their masterpieces.

Now if the author had written a couple of minor novels, I'm sure that nobody would know, or indeed care. However, when you're talking about arguably the greatest novelist of the Victorian era, then it becomes an entirely different story.

Mary Anne (or Mary Ann or Marianne depending on her mood) Evans was such an author, with a fear of recognition and censure so great that she saw fit to publish only one of her very minor works under her real name. The rest of her impressive list of novels was written under her infamous, male nom de plume. Of course, this is the much-celebrated Mr George Eliot.

Mary Anne was born in Warwickshire in 1819. Her parents, like most of the middle classes of the era, were a well-respect-

Emma Jones discovers the true face of the elusive and reclusive Mary Anne Evans ed couple, her father being the estate agent for the Earl of Lonsdale. When her mother died in 1839 she left school so that she could look after her father and keep house for him. She had a close relationship with her father, and he was excessively grateful and proud of her, giving her any book she wanted as a reward.

However, this closeness was not to last. Mary Anne began to question her religious beliefs, and under the influence of her newfound friends, Charles and Cara Bray, she stopped going to church: a move that led her father to refuse to communicate with her, until she eventually relented and began to attend church with him again. Relationships remained strained, however, until he died in 1849.

Despite her plain features, Mary Anne found it easy to charm men with her wit and 'musical voice'. It was this which

Portrait of the artist as a young woman

Something wicked this way comes The Oxford Book of Gothic Tales Chris Baldick (editor) £9.99 (Oxford) Greg Tindall CHRONICLING THE development of the gothic story was never going to be easy, especially since Chris Baldick wanted to reach past the nineteenth century glut and present a selection of work which represented both the beginnings of the genre and its present day forms. In fact, gothic fiction is shown to have quite a rich history, and the offerings date from as early as 1773 right through to 1991.

Without question, the book's most pleasing aspect is the way in which the author has tried to include lesser known writers alongside the more customary gothic contributors. Edgar Allan Poe, Robert Louis Stevenson and Sheridan Le Fanu are all here, but two of the best stories are provided by H. P. Lovecraft and Clark Ashton Smith, both eloquent geniuses who, for one reason or another, are not nearly as well-recognised as they deserve to be. (Ironically, neither are usually associated with gothic stories. People know them better as pulp writers who pioneered "cosmicism" in the minor publications of the day, but this is proof that they could turn their hands to anything).

And this doesn't just apply to sadly dead romantics. Joyce Carol Oates is well-known in America, but her horror isn't generally as widely publicised (especially over here). This goes some way towards redressing the balance. Her story Some Observations on the Goat Girl is excellent, managing to be grand, accessible and, of course, quintessentially gothic at the same time. If Gothic Tales does nothing else for the reader, it will hopefully serve to point them in the direction of some wonderful, overlooked fiction.

If the collection suffers from any shortcomings, it's that the author hasn't always been as brave as he should on every occasion. While there are some surprising and

extremely welcome inclusions, it is also difficult to avoid the feeling that there are a handful of expedients thrown in for good measure. It might have been more effective to include more obscure tales: Conan Doyle, for example, wrote an enormous number of horror stories which are rarely anthologised. To include one here would have made Gothic Tales even more impressive.

But, other than the fact that Chris Baldick doesn't seem to know whether he is assembling something to begin or supplement a gothic stories collection, his book is difficult to find fault with. He is obviously a lover of the genre and has thoroughly researched it, apparently with the genuine intention of providing something unusual and satisfyingly representative.

In the introduction, Baldick states that Gothic Tales can claim to be "the first attempt to exhibit along the full extent of its career...a tradition of short fiction specifically designated as gothic". Quite an impressive claim, but I wouldn't argue.

Even more impressively, he carries it off very well indeed.

enchanted George Henry Lewes. In 1854 Mary Anne made the hardest decision of her life in choosing to live openly with George even though he was married. They lived together for many years as man and wife, which led to the pair being cast out of polite society.

Even with her unconventional lifestyle and the censure it led to, Mary Anne's career as a writer flourished, and she wrote some of the greatest novels of the era during her time with George Lewes. It was the 1857 publication of The Sad Fortunes of the Reverend Amos Barton that saw the birth of George Eliot.

The success of Amos Barton spurred her on to write Adam Bede, her first novel.

Like many authors, Mary Anne drew on her own experiences and used characters

Despite her plain features, Mary Anne found it easy to charm men with her wit and ‘musical voice’.

she had encountered in her personal life for her stories; the inspiration for the yeoman character of Adam Bede was her late father. The novel was an immediate success and it was rumoured that even Queen Victoria had loved it.

With her confidence building, Mary Anne began work on Mill on the Floss, the most autobiographical of her works. By the time of its publication her identity was not such a secret and the success of her novels meant that society was gradually coming around to accepting her.

Mill on the Floss may have been the

LAST WEEK I gave in and finally read Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.

What I discovered was a formulaic but very readable and strangely addictive book. It did however feel slightly bizarre to revert back to childhood by choosing a book in which I followed the adventures of a group of eleven year olds.

I am not alone in my choice of bedtime reading, and in my house of ten fellow first years I was in the minority having not read about Hogwarts and Quidditch. We also decided to see the film and were surrounded by a largely adult audience. Both the film and the supposedly children's book have amassed a cult following similar to that of the now forgotten Teletubbies. What is so great about a story about wizards and wizardry?

Some people said they read Harry Potter as light relief after working, and others claimed that younger brothers and sisters had left their copies 'lying around' and therefore they thought they would give them a try. The majority of students I asked, however, said that they had been recommended to read Harry Potter by a friend, and then recommended it in turn.

The book has become a conversation point that it seems crucial to have knowledge of to fit in. It is no longer 'will Paul and Helen from Big Brother sleep together tonight?', but 'will Hogwarts look like I imagined it in the film?'

Harry Potter is another book in a long line of children's fiction which has become popular with an adult audience. The Hobbit, Northern Lights (part of Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy) and Alice in Wonderland are all novels intended for children that have attracted an older readership. Many readers enjoy travelling to a fantasy world with mythological creatures, and slipping back to the simplistic view of childhood to escape their stressful daily lives.

Despite its popularity, though, Harry Potter has not survived without criticism.

J. K. Rowling has been accused of lacking originality and stealing ideas from other books and authors. When I read the novel I was amazed at how similar it was to Jill

Bedtime reading of the rich and famous Ever wondered what Tony Blair or Britney Spears reads for light relief? Clare Whipple investigates...

IT

Now older and wiser most accurate representation of her life in her work, but Middlemarch was surely the best indication of her talent. Virginia Wolfe described it as "one of the few English novels for grown up people".

Unlike the works of most of her contemporaries, the scenery in this book was not just a backdrop, a place where things happened. The English countryside became an integral part of the book and Middlemarch became one of the classic texts revolving around rural life.

Nearly 150 years on the name Mary Anne Evans has little meaning to anyone, but George Eliot remains as famous as he ever was. In Nuneaton where Mary Anne was educated there are hospitals, roads and pubs named after George Eliot. In Morton, near Gainsborough, there is the 'Gig on the Floss', taking its name from the book she was inspired to write whilst in the village.

Despite her fear of censure Mary Anne Evans was able to overcome her insecurities to become one of the greatest authors of her generation. She wrote the sort of books that will never become unfashionable but, like the countryside she wrote about, will remain timeless.

Are you under the spell?

Cathy Baldwin

BOOKS : 31

Murphy's The Worst Witch, yet the popularity of Rowling's creation has managed to surpass its predecessors. Some students are adamant that they will not read a single page of the books and will fight the craze, one even commenting, 'all Harry Potter books should be burnt!'

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone is not the best piece of literature ever written, and is fairly predictable (although it does contain a slight twist). If you are tempted to try it, though, I would recommend it. Then you too can take part in the phenomenon.

IS comforting that of all the world leaders I wrote to regarding the urgent diplomatic matter of 'What book are you reading at the moment?' the only one who replied was Tony B l a i r (well, his secretary answered… but I was assured that Mr Blair had been asked and was grateful for my interest). I was politely informed that whilst he doesn't 'have much time to read books at the moment,' his favourite was Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott.

When I sent out the various letters to heads of state, I had not fully considered the difficult implications of my question.

Not only do we often judge people by their bookshelves, but I had also mentioned that this information was for the use of a university. Obviously this suggests that we, as voters, may analyse the choices from an educated and therefore perhaps critical perspective. I would like to do exactly this and suggest that Ivanhoe is probably not Tony Blair's favourite book but is rather one of the few literary choices a Prime Minister of Britain could give to his potential voters.

Firstly, it is a highly patriotic romance, based as it is during the crusade of Richard I. It portrays an idyllic picture not just of England, but arguably of Europe as a whole and their required unity for this just war against the infidels (remind anybody of anything?). Secondly, the period was early enough in our history for the Conquest to be an important feature, and the Normans to be a tangible enemy on which the 'true' settlers of England could blame all their woes.

Basically, Ivanhoe is a romance in the Arthurian genre, which dubious rulers have used to justify their positions for centuries. Unlike most of these however, by modern standards it is fairly safe and PC. It is for this reason that it is arguably boring (and why I would say it could not really be the PM's favourite book).

There is no flawed Arthur, or the familiar random, meaningless combats of Chivalry. Women even play a moral speaking role, and are not there merely to be ravished or saved. The wars are justifiable by the contemporary nineteenth century standards, all enemies are truly evil (and foreign) and the picture of England is idealised and legitimising.

Self-sacrifice and duty are the orders of the day. Even the author is a good choice, being fairly respectable. Scott is renowned mainly for his literature and good works (not scandals), and is also the author of several romanticised Scottish histories which means the PM has got Scotland's vote too. Well done Tony!

I will let you know what the other leaders are reading. It is particularly nice to know that whilst George Bush must be

The Word Factory Featuring a selection of winning entries from this term’s competitions Untitled Rachel Puddefoot The bawdy vicar Screams in torment The morning coffee Burning inside You, the girl, Smooth yellow paper on him But he explodes

1 message received: I am scared as well. It will b all ova 2morrow. I miss u. Don't give up.

1 message received: When will all this b over? It is dark, dirty and noisy in here. I want 2 stop but we can't. Someone has died in the corner. People are becoming more and more deper8.

1 message received:

Untitled.

Rory Palmer 1 message received:

Don't eva give up.

I hope this is worth it. I don't know where we r. I am really scared. Hope 2 see u soon.

X and Y were detained on arrival at Dover port. Found in a lorry.

****

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December 4th 2001 yorkVision

WIRED : 33

Life of the Wannabe Game Maker Triston Attridge MOST PEOPLE have had a fascination with a computer game, be it PacMan or Final Fantasy. A computer game is invariably immersive - people simply don't want to put them down. The temptation to return for just one more attempt at a puzzle, or to vent some frustration at your more athletic mate by pummelling them at Micro Machines, is always there.

A good computer game is addictive, and many a lecturer wishes that their course notes where as immersive as a game. "Oh sorry dear. I cannot come round tonight, I wish to return and see if I can beat Phagocytosis as a clearance mechanism! I nearly managed it, and perhaps I can complete the end of year excercise and unlock the secret level Induction of Cell apoptosis and necrosis!"

If this dream were true, learning would be a lot easier.

Computer games are a very critical medium too. The game interacts with the player, via the console or computer. If the game makes a mistake, or has a design flaw, then the player is definitely going to know about it, and be able to criticise.

Unlike films or paintings, where perhaps the player can only appreciate and not understand, gaming is always on the same level as the audience. No game saves in Alien Vs Predator can be pointed as aggravations. Strange camera angle choices in Tomb Raider, and failures in the AI, or just the predictability of the plot. It is extremely easy for someone to play the game and come up with something that could be improved.

Due to their fun, and the global nature of someone understanding what they enjoy and what they do not, computer game development is entering an idolised period. More and more people are wishing to turn their dreams into a career, and become part of the construction process.

If you travel the relevant forums, people are often dropping in and declaring that they have the perfect idea for a game, mod, or total conversion. All they need are artists, programmers, and fellow designers. They give the idea (though sometimes

they do not even do that!), and they then hope to get a team eager to join in with making the project. This doesn't work, the industry is no longer in a state where having a good idea is enough, and this has

mal answer would be the latter, but in rare tasks the former is true in gaming circles.

If an algorithm works only ninety-five percent of the time, and the player is unlikely to spot the times when it does fail,

Bullfrog Studios were well known for their slighly eccentric design methods filtered down to the amateur levels.

People never do anything for nothing, and anyone can have a 'good' idea for a computer game. The newbies who join forums just to ask for aid on said projects invariably do not know what the task entails, nor the dedication to stick it through.

Constructing a computer game is hard work. In many aspects it is the cutting edge of computer science, you wish to squeeze the best performance and quality out of a machine. Tight, efficient programming is needed. Also, unlike academia and business software, in some cases there is room for error. Generally, which is better - a program that runs extremely quickly, but has a few bugs, or a program that runs slowly but always works? The nor-

it is worth using it for the performance boost. This is one of the areas that separate teaching from practice.

Like the film industry, much of programming is about tricks and problem solving, and a good programmer should already have a large repertoire of tools at their belt. This creates a Ccatch 22 scenario for anyone wishing to become a computer games programmer. Game development design studios desire programmers with experience, but to get experience you have to already have a job.

The way out of this loophole is to program yourself, and to try to read up on the existing tricks and tips that others have found.

Flipcode.com is a good all round site for budding game programmers, as well as

its predecessors. In most Survival horror games exploration is the heart of the game (As in Silent Hill), with the action taking a supporting role. DMC t a k e s this well worn formula and turns it on its head, resulting in a game that provides a welcome breath of fresh air.

Yo u

room to explore, it does cut out excessive backtracking and this means the game remains fast paced and exciting all the way through.

Combat is where DMC excels and the control system has been perfectly fine tuned to allow the many moves to be pulled off effortlessly. Dante has at his disposal both his sword (The Alastor) and a variety of firearms that can be collected throughout the game. With the simple press of a button Dante can be made to switch between his sword and guns, allowing a variety of impressive combo's to be executed. For instance with a swing of his sword Dante can launch an enemy high in the air, then switch to his shotgun and proceed to let of a few rounds as the monster falls back to earth. Never before in a game has combat been so exhilarating.

gamedev.net. Both provide links to articles and tutorials about many aspects of game programming, and a wannabe should definitely have visited them, or at least know many of the techniques already.

Another good idea is to purchase relevant books too. Scott Meyer's, Effective C++, and More Effective C++ will teach you much about good coding practice, and the Game Programming Gem series by Charles Rivers Media will reveal much about the current tricks people are using.

Be warned that these references are not for the beginner, but they do have valuable information in them.

Artists have some work to do too if they wish to break into the industry. To be a computer games artist, to steer the extremely expensive programs that gave us Toy Story, and Final Fantasy, you first have to demonstrate that you have talent in steering them. Chances are that you are not going to be able to cough up the £17,000 or so to purchase Alias Wavefront's Maya, or even the £1,000 for 3d-Studio Max, but there are quite a few software applications that allow you to create good 3d rendered environments, MilkShape3d for one.

Audio wizards have a similar challenge to artists. Though they may be fantastic within their own mediums, they must demonstrate to any potential employers that they understand the differences when working with a computer game - the restrictions and pitfalls.

Designers are the other main category (excluding management&production) and are normally the most dreamt after by the wannabe. Unfortunately, it is questionable whether the job of a designer exists for someone with no previous game design experience. You could possibly win a Junior Design role, which gives you control over one level in the game, but actually making game play, interface, and plot choices is a different thing. In most projects, everyone who contributes can have a say on features or plot, only the most experienced have design as their sole task. Designers should understand what has gone on around them, and what actually separate good design from a bad one,

Every a few feet a Devil may Cry

Robert Roome

THE SURVIVAL horro genre has always been associated with games such as Silent Hill and the Resident Evil series. Well now there's a new guy in town and he's like nothing you've ever seen before.

Devil May Cry was developed by the same people responsible for the Resident Evil series of games. Just a few minutes in though and you quickly realise that DMC is a distinctly different game from

play Dante, the half-human, halfdevil son of the famous dark knight Sparda. Dante must travel to Mallet Island to do battle with a now reawakened demon that his father had entombed. The story is relatively simple and clichéd, but doesn't tend to detract from the overall gaming experience that DMC provides.

The game itself, unlike Resident Evil, is split into mini missions, each of which has to be completed sequentially.

Although this means that Big sword and two hanguns. Roughly translated: don’t mess there is little

Guns Dealing Damage Another area where the game excels is in its visuals. As in Code Veronica every environment is rendered in 3D and this leads to some truly breathtaking visuals.

A pirate ship found later in the game provides some of the best visuals and you'll spend some time just wandering around taking in the view. The game manages all this at a steady 60fps, which means that slowdown isn't part of the DMC experi-

ence.

It's not just the environments that look stunning though, each and every monster in the game both looks good and is fluidly animated. Some of the larger beasts in the

The aforementioned devil, who is probably crying game are truly awe-inspiring sights, such as the gigantic spider Dante is forced to defeat early in the game. Dante has to come in for special note though as he is animated to perfection, with every move perfectly gelling with the next.

No game is perfect though and DMC is no exception. In terms of actual playing time you are likely to be able to complete the game in between ten and fifteen hours.

There is however a number of bonus missions to keep you occupied and this is one game that doesn't feel stale the second time round. The only other real problem is that the camera can occasionally position itself badly, which can lead to a few confused moments as you wonder what on earth is going on. Most of the time though the camera behaves well and you are unlikely to get particularly frustrated with it.

Final Word: Devil May Cry, despite its faults is a joy to play from start to end.

This is definitely one game you should be asking Santa for.

which again involves reading up.

The general pattern here is that people should know what they are talking about, and a glimmering of what their chosen specialist field entails before expecting to get a job in it. Apprenticeships from scratch do not exist in the gaming industry.

Visit places like gammasutra.com, read the archives of the gdconf.com (game developers conference, held annually in the US and now Europe as well). Join igda.org (International Game Developers Association), and experiment yourself.

Another big factor that most people forget is the drawbacks. Though you may think that computer games development may be an ideal job - a career where the day to day work is fun as well as rewarding - it isn't all good. Working in the computer industry as opposed to the business industry will mean less pay, longer hours, a hellish crunch period where you may have to sleep in the office, and the severe lack of job security. Most entrants to the industry only stay around for three to four years, leaving disillusioned. However, if you wish to become a developer, to have the freedom of a completely blank canvass to construct your own environment, to give birth to your fantasies and thoughts, a life of gaming, then hit the books, study, and acquire the skills.

Byte Size

Jonathon White

MORE AND more games are steadily hitting the streets as the run up to Christmas slowly procceds. Empire Earth, another historical Real Time Strategy may catch your fancy. Allegedly a new series, but designed by the same guy who made Age of Empires.

If you are a fan of the Sims, then the Hot Date expansion pack may interst you, allowing your sims to go downtown to try and fin d their true love. Romantic dates, and some seedy locations a plenty.

For those that like scary action , Alien Versus Predator 2 should be soon hitting the shelves, promising more panic attacks as your scanner picks up a wave of incoming blips.

If you are needing a present for a young brother or sister, then perhaps Bob the Builder: Can We Fix It will work for you, or there is Backyard Football 2002, which simulates school ground football.

On another note, quite a few sequals are making themselves known. Hitman 2, Project IGI 2, and Sea Dogs 2 are all in the works.

Sluggy fans, who read the online comic strip at www.sluggy.com from time to time may be pleased to hear that they can now bid at ebay for their very own bun-bun doll. Other memorabilia is avail-

The vicious bun bun with his switch blade able, but prepared for quite high prices as this hotly sort after items are bid for.

Any Massively Online Role Players out there may be interested in reading Jessica Mulligan’s Biting the Hand articles, currently at www.skotos.net.

These give in astounding insight into the

34 : SPORT yorkVision December 4th 2001

SPORT

BUSA Results Service

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Botham beefs up Borders Pete Dandy CRICKET LEGEND Ian Botham was in town two weeks ago signing copies of his new book Botham's Century. The President and Social Secretary of the University Cricket Club went along to meet their boyhood hero.

President Sam Streatfeild and social-secretary Matt Christensen could hardly contain their excitement at the prospect of seeing 'Beefy' in the flesh. Streatfeild, the most star-struck of the two, told Vision, “I was truly honoured to be in the presence of the great man”.

Botham is the most talented all-round cricketer England has produced since the War. He scored 5000 runs in 97 tests, took over 100 catches, many of them brilliantly, caught in the slips and 376 wickets,

reaching the double of 1000 runs and 100 wickets in only 21 tests.

His contribution to the 1981 series against Australia was so immense it has been dubbed 'Botham's Ashes'. At Headingly with England staring defeat in the face Botham scored a match winning 149 not out to turn the game, according to Wisden in a 'way to stretch the bounds of logic and belief'. He went on to take 5 for 1 in 28 balls at Edgebaston and score 100 of 86 balls at Old Trafford, reputedly his best innings.

Botham's new book is a collection of 100 character sketches, all people who have influenced his life in some way, not just those from the world of cricket. There are the obvious inclusions but also some less predictable ones, and it makes a good light read.

Beef sandwich

THE LOWTHER

> just 50 yards staggering distance from The Gallery!! > happy hour Friday 3:30 till 8:30 Sunday to Thursday 8:30 till 11:00 > drinks John Smiths £1.10 £1.30 Fosters ALL Guinness, Cider, Becks, £1.40

>don’t forget to ask for your student discount card! >open until midnight Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday

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December 4th 2001 yorkVision

SPORT : 35

Wizard Potter affairs City Internal

College Sport Round-up

Pete Dandy

IT’S NOT every day the UK Snooker Champion is on campus. Last month Derwent bar played host to the world number three John Higgins. He was supposed to be joined by Jimmy White to promote this year's UK Snooker Championships being held at the Barbican centre between the 3rd and 16th of December. Unfortunately Jimmy White was unable to attend due to ill health, leaving Higgins to do all the entertaining on his own.

The event overseen by AU President Martin Styles took the form of a prize draw. Students were invited to buy a ticket costing a pound, which was put in a hat, for a chance to play a game of pool against the man nicknamed the 'Wizard of Wishaw’. One second year student lucky enough to play Higgins told Vision, “I was so pleased to have a game against John Higgins - he is one of the best in the world”.

It didn't take long for Derwent to fill up and was soon bursting at the seams as people crammed into the dining area hoping to catch a glimpse of Higgins at the table. The absence of Jimmy White did not appear to have dented the crowd's enthusiasm. Higgins, clearly a little unsure of what to expect - he hadn't brought a cue with him-swiftly ordered a pint form the bar, Martin Styles picked the first names from the hat and off we went.

Although Higgins did a good job at entertaining the crowd successfully, he wasn't really concentrating on his pool.

The spectacle was not about demonstrating to York students his abundant skills and showing off his incredible natural talent. The emphasis was firmly on entertainment value, amusing the crowd with one outrageous shot after another. In truth he spent most of the time larking around but then to be fair to him pool's not his game and Derwent's not the Crucible.

It didn't take long for Derwent to fill up and was soon bursting as people crammed to glimpse Higgins

Photo: James Kelly

2001/2

002

As the Barbican centre is the venue of the UK Snooker Championships many students are looking forward to watching some top-grade snooker over the next few weeks.

The UK Championship is the most prestigious snooker event of the year on the British tournament circuit. The prize money is the most on offer throughout the season - a staggering £746,900, with a princely £100,000 going to the winning finalist. There is also an additional £25,000 bonus for any player notching up a 147 break along the way.

The Barbican Championship is the first major snooker tournament ever to he held in the City. Not surprisingly tickets for the later stages are hot property. There are no more seats for the final on

December 16th, the semi-finals are also a sell out. For students left behind in the rush for tickets the BBC will be covering the tournament everyday from the 8th of December.

Spectators at the Championships will be able to see Yorkshire's very own Paul Hunter in action. The young man from Leeds has struggled for form recently but his ability is unquestionable. The more probable victor is Ronnie O'Sullivan, the ‘Rocket' is bidding for his third UK title.

John Higgins has started the season well winning his first three tournaments and is in with a shout and so too Stephen Hendry, fresh from his European Open success.

For tickets phone the Barbican Centre Box Office on 01904 656688.

COLLEGE SPORT continues at pace with the first term of fixtures nearly up.

Goodricke have once again moved out into an early lead and it will be a hard job for anybody to reign them back. Benefiting from a combination of experience and enthusiasm in their organisation they have capitalised on the indifferent form of their competitors especially last year’s runnersup Vanbrugh. The boys and girls in green and white have extended their domination on the 1st XI football pitch, but have been weak in other areas, including their traditional strongholds of pool and darts, whilst Derwent have been showing their class on the football pitch and may well be the stalking horses of this years competition.

Halifax are now coming into their own after a slow start, and although it might be too early for their numeric strength to show, it is likely that as the year goes on they will become stronger and stronger, although they may need to acquire a darts board for JJ’s before their darts team can seriously challenge the likes of Derwent and Langwith. ‘Langy’ have had a good second half of the term and have been notable in netball and hockey this year. They are the only college to score against the James hockey team who had steamrollered all opposition, until coming up against a suspiciously strong Langwtih squad.

Meanwhile Alcuin have suffered their traditional organisational problems, especially in football where they have struggled to get teams out.

However the new tag-rugby tournament is a chance for all the colleges to regain some dignity and score double points. A trial amongst college sports reps proved highly successful and there is even talk of the tournament being mixed next term.

After the first term of the year, college sport appears as competitive as ever with all still to play for. The election of new college sport reps can change everything. If the sheer number of sports reps is anything to go by, perhaps James will win this year’s trophy, they have elected six sports reps this year; so desperate are they for success.

Ketchup on the very latest tips Following his triple sucess in the last issue, Vision’s very own tipster, Sunset Sam returns: HELLO AGAIN gamblers, I hope you're all enjoying your windfall from last month. This week I have a few thoughts on gambling strategies and of course a few tips to keep you going over Christmas.

As you may have noticed by now, one of the first things you have to decide is what sort of gambler you are going to be.

Are you going to be the high roller who stakes his life fortune on the favourite, in the knowledge of the more likely payout?

Or are you the cagier gambler who puts his 50p on a nine-horse accumulator in the hope of winning a packet-full? To be honest with you it all depends on what you get excited about. If you like the thrill of everything or nothing, possible bankruptcy, and a small bit of safety thrown in, then you are going to be betting high on the short-price favourites. If however you like to beat the bookies and feel you are capable of predicting the winners of every single league in England, Scotland and even Wales, then go for the accumulator.

These multiple bets offer their own excitement, as each result rolls in and you edge closer to the end of your rainbow, you know that one single away defeat for Boston United could spell an end to your hopes and dreams.

There are of course certain precautions that you can employ against the loss of you cash. It is possible to employ various multiple bets that cover you if one of your horses/football teams/Eurovision competitors, looses. These multiples come under various absurd names such as the

trixie, the Canadian, the Heinz, the super Heinz etc. I will explain the concept in brief for your benefit. For example the trixie is a bet on three selections in three different races. You cover every possible combination: Doubles on: Horse 1 & Horse 2 winning Horse 2 & Horse 3 winning Horse 3 & Horse 1 winning Treble on: Horse 1 & Horse 2 & Horse 3 winning.

Thus you cover yourself if one of your horses losses, if they all win you make a significantly higher profit. However you are putting on four bets instead of one. As you may have guessed if you are a keen eater of chips, a Heinz is a total of 57 bets.

You can completely cover yourself on any number of selections, if you have ten different horses running in ten different races, this will amount to 957 separate bets. At 50p a throw this will be £478.50p, so it may be worth making sure of your overdraft limit before attempting this. If you want to try a trixie this weekend it might be worth having a punt on the London treble of Tottenham, Fulham and West Ham all winning their respective games although I wouldn't recommend more that £1 a bet.

Meanwhile for those of you who prefer to skate on thinner ice, it is worth remembering the ups and downs of high

rolling. It is a strange experience to find yourself regularly walking into the bookies with £500 cash only to leave with £550 cash an hour later. It may be dangerous but for most of us we aren't going to find anything else that pays us £50 per hour. The Australian media magnate Kerry Packer is a prime example of this type of gambler. A famous story has him sitting amongst other extremely rich men at a poker table in Las Vegas. A fat Greek oil producer turns to Packer after a particularly big hand and shrugging says "Well I suppose I'm down to my last $500 million". Packer looks at the smug Greek and replies instantly: "I'll toss you for it now". So to speed you on your way to your first $500 million you may want to consider this week's tips: Firstly Test cricket, as India play host to England in a three match series. Now all the selection problems have been resolved and India can get on with their game they look far too strong for a depleted England line up. I suggest taking India to win the series 2-0 at 9/4. Meanwhile slightly closer to home it's the UK Snooker Championships at the Barbican. Ronnie O'Sullivan is the bookies favourite at 3/1.

It seams hard to disagree with them and its likely that only Steven Hendry (12/1) will pose a realistic challenge to "the rocket".

As for an outsider Dave Harold at 80/1 might surprise, then again he might not.

Finally another boxing tip, after our success with Lennox Lewis last month.

On 15th December Evander Holyfield

Packer: no limits

"Well I suppose I'm down to my last $500 million" fights John Ruiz in for Ruiz's WBA Heavyweight crown. Ruiz defeated Holyfield on points in their first fight, and the rematch was postponed from August because of Ruiz's back trouble. The bookies cannot tell the two fighters apart, but I feel Holyfield could just edge it. Put your money on "the real deal" to win his fifth heavyweight world title. Finally if you are feeling patriotic; following the World Cup draw, England have gone out to 12/1 to come home with the trophy. Anyway, until next time kids, keep gambling.

Watch John Hyde & Johnny Morgan IT’S THAT time again, the magic of the FA Cup. A time for elation and frustration, celebration and commiseration, giant killing and stocking filling (only because it’s near to Christmas though, technically the latter has nothing to do with the FA Cup).

The first round saw York City drawn away to second division outfit Colchester United, who although not making a great start to their season, posed a tough challenge for the Minstermen who are currently languishing in the bottom half of the Third Division.

York battled hard with the fan’s favourite keeper Alan Fettis making a number of stops to keep City in the match.

The U’s were denied by the woodwork twice and controlled most of the game but a resilient York held out for a goalless draw This meant a replay at Bootham Crescent, the winners of which would earn £20,000 and more importantly a home tie against second division Reading in the second round.

Colchester were firm favourites going into the match but a headed goal by City skipper Chris Brass from a Graham Potter free kick within the first ten minutes threw the game wide open.

City were put under relentless pressure after the break but with wayward shooting and ‘super’ Alan Fettis on top form, the visitors couldn’t quite manage to find the net.

The inevitable equaliser came with 80 minutes gone courtesy of Colchester number 9 Scott McGleish, but as United went in search of the win they were caught short at the back and Potter was through to score what looked like the winner on 86 minutes.

City had just 240 seconds to hold out for victory but injury time became their downfall a Karl Duguid scored in the first of just two added minutes.

Seventeen year old substitute Lloyd Opara must have though he had won the game for the U’s with his debut goal in extra time only for it to be ruled out for offside.

No other goals meant a penalty shoot out, the second at Bootham Crescent this season (the first being against Crewe in the first round of the Worthington Cup which York lost 6-5). This time York were victorious and won 3-2 after two saves from the unquestionable man of the match Alan Fettis.

Remarkably, York were also drawn at home to Reading in the second round last year, with the game ending in a thrilling 2-2 draw and the Minstermen went on to win the replay 3-1.

This earned them a place away to Leicester in the third round, only to lose 3-0. York are in need of a good cup run this year following a poor performance in the league, to appease the ever-demanding fans.

They have have completed the first leg on the long and demanding road to Cardiff. The next home game will be the one against Reading at Bootham Crescent with the date set for Tuesday December 8th.

The game at Bootham betweeen Leeds United Reserves and Manchester United Reserves has been postponed unil April.

Cricketers meet Botham

Plus: Snooker, City Watch, Sunset Sam, and the new full BUSA results service INSIDE

sport@vision.york.ac.uk

4TH DECEMBER 2001 ISSUE 133

Changing rooms, changing minds?

Gareth Owens THE COMPETENCE of University administration is again being questioned after allegations that they bungled a planned redevelopment over the summer of Boat Club facilities.

With the University currently in such a transitional period in terms of its ongoing programme of improvements, this incident raises questions as to the priority being given to certain areas of redevelopment, and whether this has adversely affected equally pressing issues of concern.

Before the summer break this year, Owen Rodd, the AU President of the time, and James Byrne, the current Boat Club President, worked together on a plan to improve the interior of the club’s boat house. The situation was then, and sadly still is now, is that the club lacked basic changing room facilities and showers. For a sport involving a large amount of early morning starts in unfriendly weather conditions, it is not hard to sympathise with the club’s desire for more civilised conditions.

All was plain sailing initially, with advanced plans being drawn up and funding being allocated. But at a crucial stage in the process, the point where a planning application should have been made to the local authorities, for unknown reasons the

development seems to have been sat on.

And so it was that the rowers eagerly returned in October to find that they still had a few months of shabby facilities ahead of them. Since the start of term, the University has finally passed a bolt of electricity through the increasingly delayed proposals, with planning permission having been submitted and a revised time scale drawn up. In the meantime, the Planning Department have apparently issued a report on the circumstances which led to such confusion. However the contents of the report is not yet known.

In conversation with Vision, James Byrne expressed his discontent that the facilities revamp has so far failed to materialise. He was, however, confident that the worst is now behind the Boat Club, and that he was “reassured that the proposals will go ahead in the near future”.

Martin Styles confirmed that the University would hopefully begin building next term, following a meeting with Sports Centre Director Colin Smith and the University’s planning department at which the situation was discussed.

Given the extensive building work which went into the completion of the Market Square precinct and conference centre in time for the start of the new academic year, the University has left itself open to further accusations that the priority developments are those which look

The priority developments are those which look better in business brochures better in business brochures, rather than those which would directly benefit current students. But whilst business concerns may be an understandable, if undesirable, priority for the University in these situations, what is more worrying is the whiff of incompetence which some have detected emanating from some recent decisions.

The halting last month of work already under way on the Goodricke Amenities Building by the University’s Policies and Resources Committee, apparently due to cashflow shortages, is an uncomfortable sign when put along side the problems facing the Boat Club redevelopment. Whilst any period of change on the scale of which the University is currently undergoing will have teething problems, these growing pains have already caused disruption to a significant portion of the current University of York students.

Sadly, admin was not available for comment when Vision went to press.

Keeping York at the top Northern soul: Jimmy Arnold

Paul Dunsire

UNIVERSITY OF York goalkeeper Jimmy Arnold is celebrating after being called up for the North-East Universities as they prepare to play their NorthWestern counterparts in Crewe on December 2nd. This match will also act as a trial for the Northern Universities team.

Jimmy, a second year history and economics student from Goodricke College, is also president of the University of York Football Club.

Of around 30 players, including two other goalkeepers, Jimmy was one of the lucky few to be chosen, and he knows he is just one good performance away from selection for the next level, the Northern Universities. As he says, "if you stand out in the game (North-East v North-West), you'll get selected for the North".

Teammates Rob Wilkinson and Alan McDonnell also played in the trial, and according to Jimmy played well, but it is difficult to stand out under such pressure, and sadly they were not selected.

Understandably, Jimmy is very proud of his achievement, and says that his teammates, including those who did not make it into the squad, showed a lot of support and encouragement. "I'm glad to be able to get to a certain standard and get selected. It's an honour, not just to represent the North-East, but to represent them for York."

Jimmy, who has also represented Sussex schools, had his first experience of

Boat Club President James Byrne fighting for justice & changing facilities

“I’m glad to be able to get to a certain standard and get selected.

It's an honour, not just to represent the NorthEast, but to represent them for York"

goalkeeping when he was ten years old: "I wanted to play outfield, but my local team needed a goalkeeper, and I said 'I will play in goal and see what happens'."

His father was also a goalkeeper, and it was partly thanks to him that Jimmy learned a lot about the skills needed to enjoy success in the position. Apart from his dad, Jimmy's goalkeeping heroes include England greats Gordon Banks and Peter Shilton, but he is also an admirer of Manchester United's eccentric keeper Fabien Barthez. Despite Bartez’s recent slip ups his reactions and shot stopping make him one of the best in the country.

For a goalkeeper, Jimmy is on the short side at just under six feet, so the Frenchman is an obvious favourite for him. "Barthez

is only five foot 11 inches, but he makes up for that with his technique and agility."

Barthez is a good example for anyone arguing that all goalkeepers are completely bonkers, a sentiment Jimmy Arnold actually agrees with. "I think that's got to be true, there definitely has to be a screw loose somewhere. Most other players can't understand why you want to play in goal, but I think you either love it or you hate it."

As a relative shorty, Jimmy's strengths as a goalkeeper lie elsewhere. His coach Peter Glanville taught him to make up for his size with better technique, and greater aggression. He has also worked on crosses and improved his footwork, something he sees as an important aspect of goalkeeping. Jimmy also knows how to use his weaknesses to enhance his strengths: "I'm not the tallest goalkeeper, but that means I can get down to shots maybe taller keepers can't."

Jimmy Arnold hopes to progress further in the game. "I think anyone who loves the game wants to play it at the highest possible level". Jim Horsfield, a centre back played for the North-East two years ago, and has since been paid to play for a club, so Jimmy is hopeful this will be a similar opportunity for him. The lad who was born near Gatwick Airport is hoping his career will take off.

yorkVision THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK’S AWARD WINNING STUDENT NEWSPAPER