Issue 189 by York Vision

YORKVISION GUARDIAN STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR ISSUE 189

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Tuesday June 3, 2008

THE FUTUREHEADS

UNI YOUNGSTERS SEE YEAR END IN MISERY

YORK STUDENTS

UNDER SIEGE Beaten

Bottled

BY JASMINE PHILLIPS AND DANIEL HEWITT VIOLENCE AND INJUSTICE have shattered the confidence of York students following physical attacks and acts of discrimination. In three shocking cases, individuals have requested anonymity, ranging from obscured faces to completely false names, as they reveal the harrowing and deeply offensive events which have marred their last term of this academic year. Separate incidents of aggression, intimidation and prejudice have seen: • A group of drunken yobs beat several second years on their way home • Students sent to A&E after a brutal bar brawl • A student barred from Gallery and Tru with no reason or explanation from staff

FULL STORY PAGES 6-7

Barred

2NEWS

YORK VISION

your week QUOTE OF THE WEEK 3

" Probably the best one of the year.

UNSENATESATIONAL

Tuesday June 3, 2008

Spin doctor supreme Sam Bayley on YUSU's wonderfully uncrowded Viking Raid

GOOD WEEK bad week GOOD WEEK

HULL ROAD residents

Intruder scare turned out to be wind.

BAD WEEK

AU MEMBERS

Will have to find an extra £25 to cover membership in 2008/9.

the number cruncher 5500

Pounds raised by the CSSA for aid after China's earthquake.

166

Percentage increase of AU membership next year.

People that attempted to break into Langwith's last event

BY DANIEL HEWITT THE EFFECTIVENESS of YUSU’s primary forum for debate has been brought into question after Racial Equalities Officers were told that there “wasn’t enough time” to consider proposals for their own committee. Currently Racial Equalities share a committee with Welfare and Diversity, but when proposals were made by head officer John Apea, he was told by fellow members at the Senate meeting that it was too late to draft such an idea into the new constitution, despite there being a number of weeks before a vote is taken. Tom Langrish, Senate’s chairperson, said that he didn’t want to “be moaned at for [the meeting]

going on for too long”, but James Chair Chet Khatu questioned why the proposals could not just be debated there and then. The incident has brought Senate meetings under scrutiny after Vanbrugh Chair and Senate Member Matt Oliver questioned the effectiveness of the Union body. “Senate does not work as well as it could, that isn’t a secret,” he said, “The fact is that issues raised in Senate only get attention when they come out of a campus newspaper.” According to YUSU’s website, Senate acts as the “principal steering body of the Union” where YUSU Officers and JCRC Chairs sit along side each other to “have a say in how the Union works”.

But Oliver has questioned the genuine input of College Chairs in the proceedings. He said, “Lines of communication aren’t brilliant because the YUSU Executive Committee meets right before Senate, and because JCRC Chairs aren’t involved in that the issues are discussed without us and we’re not sure what’s going on.” However, Societies & Communications Officer Sam Bayley moved to defend Senate meetings by reassuring students that changes are being made to improve the system. “There are some weaknesses in the Union structure and decision-making at the moment which is what we’re addressing in the (governance) review, “ reassured Bayley, “It will make the

committee a lot more useful and it will be a lot quicker to respond to decisions.” When asked about the accussations of rushing through meetings, Bayley denied such talk and said that the Union had “taken a lot of steps to avoid any impression that things have been rushed through.” Despite changes to the Union system which the new Constitution will implement, the usefulness of the Union body still remains under the hammer. When Vision attempted to contact 5 different college chairs about the effectiveness of Senate, only one replied with a statement, further questioning the importance Senate members actually place on the “principal steering body of the Union”.

Like campus events? How about FREE ones?

We've teamed up with York's famous prison lookalike, Goodricke College, to offer two lucky socialites some free tickets to the upcoming GoodShack event, held on 13th June (that's Friday of Week 8), 9pm-2am. It promises to be one of the highlights of the summer term, featuring the best urban tunes ranging from soul and funk right through reggae and hip hop, break beat and drum & bass. Campus favourite DJ Thuggles will be gracing Goodricke hall with his presence, plus performances from more societies than you can shake a limbo stick at, including Breakz, Samba, Dance Soc and more to be conﬁrmed! To win them, email editor@yorkvision.co.uk with the front page headline of our last issue, our Roses extravaganza. The ﬁrst person to successfully conquer our infuriating malfunctioning inbox will be contacted by email, unlike everybody else, who probably won't. Good luck! No current Vision contributors may enter. Batteries not included. Some self-assembly required. If you do not keep up repayments your house may be repossessed.

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YORK VISION

Less have paid Raid Viking for ...but at least the nightclubs aren't crowded

Tuesday June 3, 2008

NUMBER CRUNC

2006-7: 2 x 2007-8: 3x At current ra

BY EMILY HODGES THE FAILURE OF this week’s Viking Raid event to sell out has led to criticisms that YUSU are running the event too frequently.

Three Viking Raids were held this year, with only two being run in previous years. Despite heavy advertising for the event, which was touted as “sure to sell out fast as with the previous two...events” on the YUSU website, large numbers of tickets for Monday’s event went unsold. While exams have been put forward as a factor for the low-ticket sales, Vanbrugh Chair Matt Oliver is one of several people to have

commented on a general fatigue with the Viking Raid event format. “For second years this is their fifth Viking Raid event now,” he says. “It’s about quality not quantity.” Oliver also complained that the “price is creeping up”, with the event now costing £7.50, with no bus travel included. While the Vanbrugh Chair was quick to praise YUSU for moving the event to a Monday, to avoid repeating the conflict with the college’s Planet V event that occurred last term, and for the “communal feeling” created by the event, Oliver did question whether three Viking Raids is too many. “By third term, students know where they want to go on a night

HER

te of growth:

2012-3: 8 x 2017-8: 13 x 2057-8: 43 x

out, they don’t need a t-shirt to tell them”, says Oliver. A first year student agreed, saying: “There should really only be one a year, in Freshers’ week.” Another student noted that they were still able to get a ticket at 5pm on the day of the event; a previously unheard of phenomenon. “There were piles and piles of T-Shirts in dustbin bags behind the counter of YourShop. It just can’t have been as popular this time round.” YUSU's Sam Bayley has defended the Viking Raid however: “In terms of ticket sales, we weren’t far

off what w e usually sell actually.” He cited the decreasing number of participants as a factor improving the experience; it meant that there was “so much more room to move about, you know, you weren’t crammed in which you don’t want”. He subsequently stated that he thought it was “probably the best one of the year”.

LANGWITH LOUTS ESCAPE AFTER LECTURE DOORS ARE SMASHED

BOOZER BREAK-IN

BY DANIEL HEWITT

SMASHED DOORS and Sambuca shots were the highlights of Langwith’s last college event of the year last Friday. Langwith’s ‘Closing Down Sale’ event was so popular that two students attempting to enter without tickets smashed down a lecture theatre door and attempted to break in unnoticed. The two men, yet to be identified, were spotted on CCTV attempting to wrench open the doors of the L/028 lecture theatre but escaped before Campus Security could seize them. The incident, which took place on Friday 30th May just before 11:30pm, coincided with Langwith’s sellout event and College Chair Zach Pepper believes that the students

were attempting to get in without tickets. “The CCTV shows that they were on the phone once they were in the lecture theatre so we think that they may have had mates at the event who they believed could let them in,” he said, “They ripped the double doors out of the frame and attempted to get in round the back.” Their efforts however were in vein after they found that the doors leading to Langwith’s bar were locked and they were unable to get in. The mysterious pair were two of many unlucky students unable to get into the capacity event which saw over 50 people turned away. In total 185 tickets were sold including 30 on the door in the first 2 minutes of the event starting. After struggling to fill college

NEWS

WINTRUDERS BY EMILY FAIRBAIRN POLICE SUMMONED TO a York student house expecting to arrest a gang of intruders found that the students who made the 999 call had in fact been frightened by the wind. Spooked students at the Hull Road house heard strange noises in the middle of the night and quickly became convinced that burglars had broken in. Cowering in their upstairs rooms they made the call in the early hours of the morning on Tuesday 27th May. A second year resident of the property, who wishes not to be named, told Vision, “We thought we heard voices and banging downstairs. "We were paranoid that it was the gypsies by the roundabout near B&Q.” The police rushed to the scene within 5 minutes of the girl’s boyfriend reporting the suspected crime. However, they discovered that the students’ terror had been provoked by nothing more than a combination of the wind and their own overactive imaginations. In the hunt for the phantom intruders officers initially arrived at the wrong address, to the annoyance of its slumbering residents. Jess Feehan, third year English student and next-door neighbour said she was “confused to say the least” at being woken by an enormous German Shepherd police dog on her doorstep. “When I heard it was only the wind and that I had been scared half to death and got out of bed at half five in the morning for nothing, I was pretty annoyed!” said Feehan.

PIECEMEAL

BY ALEX RICHMAN

events this year Langwith seem an unlikely target for students attempting to break into an event, but Pepper hailed the night a complete success despite the incident. “It was a great night and to have full capacity at an event is always good,” said Pepper, “We sold 200 sambuca shots in less than two hours and we were even turning people away.” Anyone with any information concerning the break in should speak to Campus Security.

QUICK of samb: Shots were ch uca at a rat ugged one eve e of secondsry 36

shh! Which luck y undergra duate has wrangl ed themselv es a Black Card , entitling th em to free entry to Toffs and Ga llery? It might he lp that they used to cavort with a high-up YU SU member...

FURIOUS, FAMINOUS STUDENTS have been forced to back down after it was revealed that despite the allegations Vanbrugh’s food portions are not getting smaller Officials moved last week to reassure patrons of the Mondrian restaurant that their meal deals introduced this term actually represent better value for money. Eatery manager Sue Foster, was clear in her statement that “nothing’s changed”. Theories of smaller plates, ladles and portions were dismissed by Foster, with a nearby chef nodding in agreement. She claimed that the only difference in policy this term has been the introduction of ‘comp meals’, where side dishes such as chips and salad are factored into the main meal’s price, resulting in a slightly reduced total. The news will come as a relief to regular users of campus’ central hub for hot food. Hot weather has seen students flocking to the college canteen’s benches, so they might enjoy their coronation chicken along with a view of the university’s glorious lake. However, some find the rebuttals hard to swallow. A nearby diner was adamant: “I’m still not convinced. I swear the portions have been getting smaller. I’m really gutted".

4NEWS

student press We read them... ...so you don't have to

How to Dump Chicks Chickens at Magdelen College, Oxford, have been evicted from their home after the college’s JCR voted against appointing a chicken rep to look after the birds. The chickens had been secretly smuggled onto college property by three students, who told Cherwell that they had decided "it would be quite nice to have pets of some form". The students set up a run on a roof to which they had secret access, but were discovered when one of the birds fell off the building. College Deans initially agreed to let them stay, but the JCR decided that the birds would have to be re-homed as they could not afford the continuing expense of their upkeep.

Chocs Away Exeter University has become home to the first ever travelling chocolate society, Exposé reports. ChocSoc had a weekend exploring the history, culture and traditions of chocolate in Bruges, Belgium’s chocolate capital last April. The students toured the city’s chocolate shops and visited its chocolate museum where they saw demonstrations of chocolate-making and enjoyed tasters. With plans to visit Cadbury World and other delectable destinations, ChocSoc predicts this has only been a taste of what’s to come.

Nude Statue Meets Stiff Opposition A Bristol artist has sparked controversy after erecting a three-metre statue of a naked pirouetting jester. Residents are divided over whether it should be removed in case it causes offence. One said that "it should be removed, especially since children play around there". But students are supporting the artist, Rebecca Johnson-Marshall, who argued "it has genitals, but then every man has. I can’t see what’s wrong". A supporter of the artwork’s public display said “I think the jester is fantastic. It brightens my day”. But locals are not accepting defeat, and the future of the statue is unclear. For the artist, although getting the council’s permission for the statue’s erection was an easy task, getting the support of the residents is proving to be an increasingly hard one.

Ink Dries on its Own Amy Winehouse lyrics surprised students in Cambridge when they appeared on their final year-exam papers. English students were asked to compare samples from Winehouse’s Love is a Losing Game with words by Billie Holiday, Bob Dylan and 16th Century explorer Sir Walter Raleigh as part of their Practical Criticism exam. The Cambridge Student says that this is not the first time students have been bewildered by a musical theme to their exams: in 2001, students were instructed to construct an essay about tragedy around the Bee Gees lyrics “Tragedy / when the feeling’s gone and you can’t go on / it’s tragedy...Tragedy / when you lose control / and you’ve got no soul / it’s tragedy”. Emily Fairbairn and Martin Williams

YORK VISION

Tuesday June 3, 2008

YORK CHINESE STUDENTS RALLY TO RAISE FUNDS FOR EARTHQUAKE VICTIMS

YORK PAYS TRIBUTE TO QUAKE VICTIMS BY JASMINE PHILLIPS YORK’S STUDENTS MOURNED the tragic loss of life in the recent earthquake affecting China’s Sichuan Province in a moving public lecture last week. The lecture was commissioned by the York-based Chinese Students and Scholars Association (CSSA) and was organised by 20 volunteers who willingly prepared an extensive presentation with just a few days notice. Taking place at 7pm on Thursday 22nd May in the Physics building, the lecture demonstrated the widespread feeling of compassion for the victims of the earthquake felt by the students of the University of York. In a mark of respect, all those involved wore black and donned the green ribbon that signifies China’s campaign supporting those affected by the earthquake. Secret Garden’s ‘You Raise Me Up’ played whilst harrowing images of the atrocities and heart-rending pictures of the survivors were projected onto the facing wall. A total of £5,500 was

raised for charities providing aid in China from the lecture and several stalls set up across campus. One of the organisers revealed that a student donated three hundred pounds because he was from Sichuan, saying that the money was to help his brothers and sisters in the province. Everyone in attendance appeared deeply affected and saddened by the tragedies of China’s earthquake, that measured a massive 8.0 on the Richter scale. The current death toll approaches 70, 000, with a further 366,596 injured and 18,618 thought to be missing. Although Wenchuan County, located at the epicentre of the earthquake, is a rural area there are considered to be at least 6 students at York from the surrounding region. Fortunately none of these students are from the most affected areas. Former president of the CSSA Zhaolin L, who is from Cheng Du, the capital city of Sichuan Province, spoke of the “shock, sympathy and encouragement” felt by the Chinese students at York in

reaction to the earthquake. He noted that, “Being responsible and helpful is what we want to do”, and gave this as the reason for the CSSA hosting the lecture. “Many Chinese Students abroad are trying hard to make people aware about this tragedy.” When news of the earthquake first reached Zhaolin, he describes how he “felt really awful” and could not believe the extent of misfortune that China could suffer in one year “when so many of us are making good wishes for the ‘one world one dream’ Beijing Olympic Games and preparing ourselves to accommodate guests from all over the world.” For the majority of York’s Chinese students it is the “biggest earthquake and tragedy that has happened in our 20 or so year’s of life.” said Zhaolin. Tanya Yao, a third year psychology student and one of the event organisers, expressed her feelings on the disaster; “For the first two days, I didn’t think the earthquake was that ... how can I say, tremendous. But with the increasing death number

HOW TO HELP ROSS C D E THE R OF CHINA TY SOCIE cross.org/ ion red www. ationsect don

CHINESE E MBA IN THE UK SSY

www.chi nese-em org.uk bassy.

and more and more pictures released from the media, I became truly shocked.” Yao has family in Sichuan and felt extreme panic when the mobile network system was cut off in the aftermath of the earthquake. “We lost in touch with them…and we were all very worried”, she said, “and when we got back in touch, it was a big relief ”. Thankfully none of her family were hurt. Despite the lucky escape of her family she is greatly affected by the earthquake and told Vision, “I burst into tears every time I watched the news or saw pictures on the internet,” and as a result, “I thought I should do something to help.” When the CSSA approached her about the lecture she said “I agreed to help straight away.” “All we want to do is try our best to limit the damage and restore everything.” agreed Zhaolin, “I think if people make a donation, a few pounds may well change someone’s entire life out there.”

The CSSA suggests 3 ways to donate: DUCATION CHINA'S E OUNDATION ENT F DEVELOPM df.org.cn www.ce

YORK VISION

NEWS

Tuesday June 3, 2008

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6NEWS

TANG HALL TANGLE

BY ALEX RICHMAN AND ANDY MCGRATH A GROUP OF housemates were involved in yet another incident of unprovoked violence in Tang Hall. The area is popular with many students seeking off-campus accommodation, but has frequently been the backdrop for many instances of sudden attacks on York University attendees. At around 11.30pm on a Friday night, Nicholas, Harry and Charlie were walking from a friend’s house to their own property. Despite the late hour, given that the journey only takes around ten minutes, the boys opted to go on foot. However, just before passing the Co-op, Nicholas was confronted by a group of irate and visibly drunk youths. One, clutching a bottle of Lambrini, asked him for some spare change, in order to catch a bus. Realising that the buses had stopped running for the evening, Nicholas declined. As Harry and Charlie came closer, the teenagers began to circle the trio in a menacing manner. The students attempted to quietly move on, but a scuffle ensued with the aggressors punching and scratching at the three young men. Nicholas commented: “We walked on, they followed us, then out of nowhere, one of them takes a swipe and knocks off my glasses.” As blows rained down, Nicholas, Harry and Charlie admirably restrained themselves from forceful physical reactions and instead phoned the police, having broken free. This saw the drunken group grow even angrier, with reports suggesting that they attempted to convince the growing crowd of onlookers that they had been the victims of an assault from the three students. Luckily, the students’ injuries were limited to cuts and bruises, but a friend of Nicholas expressed shock at the blood from his facial wound which had stained his shirt. The students' names have been changed to protect their anonymity.

YORK VISION

Tuesday June 3, 2008

VISION TALKS TO VICTIMS OF BY JASMINE PHILLIPS AND EMILY FAIRBAIRN AN UNPROVOKED ATTACK in Rumours bar sparked a brawl that left four students both injured and traumatized. The fight, which occurred on Wednesday 21st May, kicked off when heroic students TWICE attempted to intervene as an abusive local man lashed out at drinkers. Two of the students had to be rushed to A&E from the bar on Micklegate after sustaining significant wounds. Police have interviewed the victims and are investigating CCTV footage of the incident. A victim of the attack, third year Economics student David, who would rather his surname was not used, told Vision his story. He recalls that it was about 1am when he and his friends, who were drinking on the back terrace of the bar, were first approached by the violent local man. “It was a bit weird, he thought one of us had thrown a bottle. You could tell by his eyes he really wanted a fight, they were wide open, really angry. He started on the table next to us, we asked him what he was doing and told him to get lost, that’s when he started on us” The man hit two of David’s friends and two patio heaters were knocked down as the violence escalated. A bottle was then smashed onto David’s head, although he now has no memory of the assault. “I can’t remember being hit so I must have been really concussed,” says David. “The next thing I knew I had blood trickling into my ear. I touched my head and there was blood all over my hand”. An ambulance arrived within minutes and rushed David to hospital, where he spent the next three hours being treated, before giving a statement to police. A friend of David’s, a third year who would also rather not be named, said that David looked “quite gruesome” with blood all over his shirt and matted in his hair. “He was spaced out, talking jibberish. He tried to stand up and his legs were floppy,” says the friend, “I was quite worried about him.” The student also required hospital treatment after he too became involved in the brawl. He broke his hand after punching the man in an effort to defend himself and his friends from the attack. The student describes the man as an “absolute lunatic” who was “sticking his face into everyone’s business”. The third year punched the troublemaker in the face after the man pushed him onto one of the picnic tables. The man then threw a glass that hit the student on the cheekbone. “It’s good it didn’t smash, it could have blinded me.” Onlookers described the attacker as about 23 with short spiky dark hair. One witness said that the man “seemed really wired, like he might have been on drugs”. David and his friends were not

STUDENTS ATTACKED DURING RUMOURS RAMPAGE Photo: Juliet Burns the only students to have been accosted by the aggressive man. Michael Regan, a first year history and politics student, says that the man also accused him and his friends of throwing a glass, and then pushed one of their female friends. “We all stood up. He said he wasn’t going to hit a girl and started punching me instead. He swung at me about ten times. I went to the toilet and another guy

[presumably David] came in with blood all over his face.” Regan, who was left with a black eye, significant facial injuries and a badly bruised lip, accuses the Rumours staff of not doing enough to prevent the attack from happening. “Rumours were not very helpful at all. They didn’t have anyone intervening. They knew who they were so they shouldn’t have let them in if they’d been causing

TOO BAD TO BE

BY ALEX RICHMAN

Photo: Juliet Burns

DESPITE HAVING done nothing wrong, a York student has found himself barred from two of the city’s most popular student nightspots in a bizarre story of mistaken identity. Peter, 19, was only twenty minutes into his first night at Tru, the popular nightclub, when he decided to step outside for a cigarette.

trouble before.” In response to such complaints, Rumours manager Michael Bartley explained that although security is provided in the bar by regular checks by door staff, “on weeknights Rumours share door staff with the Nag’s Head, so they have to cover both pubs”. Bartley says that unfortunately staff “were not aware of what was going on” but that the

However, the biology student was pounced upon by four bouncers. Peter told Vision of his confusion: “One of [the bouncers] spoke to me and asked me to leave. Having been confronted in such a way I quickly asked for an explanation, but they gave me no reason. Having been thrown out, I tried to speak to the doormen and explain that I wasn’t the person they thought I was, but

YORK VISION

NEWS

CRIME AND DISCRIMINATION

GRAFFITI ARTISTS' CHINESE WHISPERS BY LAUREN KELLY CONTROVERSY AND MYSTERY have surrounded the space reserved for the Student Action mural after “Free Tibet” slogans were spotted alongside Society logos. An unofficial and impromptu addition to the wall appeared reading “Free Tibet” before the words “Tibet has always been and will always be part of China” were added and the original statement crossed out. The site, which overlooks the lake and faces Central Hall, will eventually become York University’s centre for humanities studies and is bordered by a high plywood wall. The wall was at first utilized unofficially during elections week last term as a billboard for YUSU and AU position candidates, but the emergence of the “Free Tibet” slogans go beyond the rhetoric of student politics. Since these tempestuous additions to the wall have surfaced, various smaller comments have cropped up around the site of contestation, with “so true” being the politest response and expletives which Vision is not permitted to print. The mural was originally used to celebrate York’s on-campus socities and colleges such as Drama Soc and Vision, but recent events have seen the space take on a political life of its own. Overseas Students Association president Rosie Li said that, “Although it is not our role to comment on such delicate political issues, I respect both sides’ right to free speech.”

troublemakers are now “most definitely barred”. David however praises the response of the bar workers to his injuries. “Staff at Rumours were really good”, he says, recalling how they provided him with wet tea towels and immediately called the emergency services. Throughout the interview David seems remarkably calm, and almost disbelieving of his ex-

they just dismissed me.” It is believed that a disruptive individual had been causing trouble inside the venue, attempting to start fights. It is alleged that the bouncers failed to get the scrapper’s name, and wrongly accosted Peter, believing him to be the thug. “I do think it’s a case of mistaken identity,” said Peter. “I had never been to Tru before this date, and thus obviously can’t have been in the venue at the same time as the

BRAVE: David

's wound susta

perience during the traumatic night. ‘The whole night was such a blur,’ David admits. ‘When I woke up with a massive bump on my head and blood on my pillow, that’s when I really realised what had

perpetrator.” Disorientated and disappointed, Peter went home. But when he attended a friend’s birthday bar crawl ending in The Gallery, another York nightclub owned by the operators of Tru, Peter was again in for an unwelcome surprise. Having planned ahead and paid for a queue-jumper ticket, Peter was confronted by the same doorman that had ejected him earlier in the week. He was not

With the knowledge that such events are extremely rare in York, David has resigned himself to the fact that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. “These things happen,” he sighs. David's surname has been removed to protect his anonymity.

ined in the att

happened.’ David says that he is now ‘definitely more wary’ on a night out and that when he revisited Rumours last Thursday the incident ‘kept crossing my mind’.

allowed to enter. “I asked what I had done,” said Peter. “My friends also tried…but this was useless. Being refused entry again I had to pay for a taxi home.” Peter said that the “incident has obviously had [a negative] impact on me,” as it has rendered him unable to join friends at either club. The situation remains unresolved. “The management just pushed me onto the door staff on the night, and when I went down to

ack

speak to them on several occasions they kept telling me the person I was told to speak to wasn’t available,” said Peter. “It was extremely frustrating that I had to go out my way several times because of a mistake they made! I felt that they could have dealt with the situation in a much fairer manner.” Neither Tru nor The Gallery were available for comment. The student’s name has been changed to protect his anonymity.

Beijing 2008 Can we separate politics and sport?

Join the debate on page 10

COLUMNS

8 COMMENT

YORK VISION Tuesday June 3, 2008

Tired of talking about thetans? Us neither!

"AU!" yelped our A wallets

obody is averse to the Athletic Union raising more funds. This very newspaper has pleaded for the renovation of the track, for example. But can you really blame students for feeling a bit peeved when their membership fees rocket up from £15 to £40 next year after they're bundled with sports centre payments? Even those responsible for making the decision have admitted how bad it looks to outsiders.

Hopefully the university will pass on the benefits of the new funding structure. And not just hold out on renovations until we move to Heslington East.

Shafted students

e bring diversity. A thirst for knowledge. Hell, we must be propping up the city's entire takeaway market. But are students respected in York? Not if these past few weeks are anything to go by. Students have been stripped of their dignity by boorish bouncers, terror teens and dangerous drunks. And those brave enough to speak frankly of their experiences still wish to retain a level of anonymity. Why? We should be contributing to the city's culture, not skulking in the shadows, in the hope we can go about our business without being bothered.

If more students speak up, more of these no-goods will learn their lessons. And then the whole place will be better not just for us, but for the people around us.

Lost their bottle

ll those years of pleading. Begging. Frantically trying to get students into your college bar. Finally, you admit defeat. It's no longer sustainable. You'll have to sell off the booze at knock-down prices...what's that? Now they're interested? Spare a thought for Langwith's bar reps this week. They finally had people clambering to get into the place; only problem was, there wasn't enough space to hold them, or booze to sell them.

Hopefully when the watering hole is reopened, local patrons will be less shortsighted when it comes to choosing their pre-town drinking destinations.

MARTIN WILLIAMS

lthough the Church of Scientology has been a controversial issue for debate for years, it now claims to be open about its beliefs and willing to talk. So why does it still spark criticism? Last week, members of the church presented a speech highlighting aspects of their ‘applied religious philosophy’ for the York Union, but many who heard it questioned how open they really were. Scientology is a body of beliefs and related practices that was founded in the 1950s by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard. In 1982 he described it as “the study and handling of the spirit in relationship to itself, universes and other life” and scientologists believe that practicing it can help people succeed in life and resolve problems. But in the eyes of the peaceful campaign group Anonymous, the Church of Scientology is a sinister and threatening hierarchical body which they say uses devious methods of gaining and controlling its members and critics. A campaigner for Anonymous who spoke to Vision insisted that they believe in the right to freedom of speech, arguing that they “are not campaigning against the practice of Scientology, just the Church itself ”. Anonymous’ concerns about the Church of Scientology involve them allegedly “charging money, separating people from families and their ‘fair game’

policy” - the idea that those who leave or oppose Scientology are ‘fair game’. They added: “we know what the Church of Scientology does and we will make sure everyone finds out”. At the speech, Scientologists Sam Butler, Colin Butler and David Gaiman put forward their view of the ‘fair game’ policy, arguing that the term had been misinterpreted. But many of the audience provided examples

of people who claim to have been tracked and harassed, particularly in America. For many it is hard to ignore the words of L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology: “The purpose of the suit is to harass and discourage, rather than to win – if possible, of course, ruin (the target) utterly”.

The Scientologist speakers also claimed that their beliefs and practices helped their communication, but this did not appear to pay off during the speech, described by one audience member as only telling people that “Scientology is quite nice”. The church has tried many methods of getting their ideas and beliefs across to people in recent years, ranging from online videos to getting their books in libraries. H o w ever, one audience member who didn’t want to be named said that, “if Scientology wants to win the respect of students and others, communication needs to improve m u c h more and they need to stop ignoring their opposition”. Indeed, the church was probably shooting themselves in the foot somewhat when one of the speakers compared Anonymous to the Klu Klux Klan - hardly a mediating comment. It was also evident that communication wasn’t quite at its best when the prominent

Church of Scientology figure David Gaiman joked that “everybody knows the Jews are money-grabbing” (Gaiman is himself a Jew) and “members of the United Nations Peace-Keeping Core are having sex with 12-year-old kids”. York Union’s president, Morven Hamilton, has defended their decision to invite the speakers, saying “this isn’t about how controversial a speaker is or isn’t. The Union is a non-partisan forum for discussion, and any discussion has to have two sides”. But Anonymous say, if the Union wanted a fair two-sided argument they should have provided opposition with the same platform as the Church of Scientology was given. Sam Butler, one of the speakers, told Vision that people had misconceptions about the Church of Scientology. He feels that communicating the beliefs was not easy because “it’s a challenge to explain something to somebody that relates to their lives” and it’s better to talk to people on an individual basis. But critics say that more effort should be made and the Church of Scientology is making life hard for itself by ignoring its opposition. Certainly it seems that until the two sides are prepared to sit down and discuss the issues in a reasonable fashion, there will be little progress towards any kind of mutual respect.

For more about Tom's favourite, flip to page 16

YORK VISION Tuesday June 3, 2008

Alex Richman Rob Romans Scene Editor: Mike Regan Deputy Editor: Sarah Stretton Managing Editors: Sean Hodgkinson Ben Rayner Deputy Management: POST OPEN IT Editor: POST OPEN Deputy IT: POST OPEN News Editors: Daniel Hewitt Jasmine Phillips Deputy News: Emily Fairbairn Martin Williams Comment Editor: Mike Sims Deputy Comment: Harry Pearse Editors:

Features Editors: Joe Burnham Emilie Roohan Deputy Features: Catherine Moore Hannah O’Shea Lifestyle Editors: Sally Makaruk Emily Hodges Deputy Lifestyle: Catherine Moore Hannah O'Shea Style Editors: Helen Nianias Immy Willets Deputy Style: Joanne Rea Food & Drink Editor: Lewis Colam Deputy F&D: Ollie Harvey Travel Editor: Alex Dale Deputy Travel: Andy Henrick

Sports Editor: Andy McGrath Deputy Sports: Joseph Rahman James Norton Photo Editors: Juliet Burns Terry Li Deputy Photo: POST OPEN Sub Editor:

Martin Williams

Social Secretaries: Sally Makaruk Hannah O'Shea

Opinions expressed in Vision are not necessarily those of the Editors, Senior Editorial Team, membership or advertisers. Every effort is made to ensure all articles are as factually correct as possible at the time of going to press, given the information available. Copyright Vision Newspapers, 2008. Printed by Yorkshire Web

Call us: 01904 433720 editor@yorkvision.co.uk www.yorkvision.co.uk

YORK VISION

COMMENT

Tuesday June 3, 2008

LETTERS

Write to us: Vision Letters, Grimston House Email us: editor@yorkvision.co.uk

g down... n li e fe n e h W Dear Vision,

Dear Rob, indeed when things are looking gloomy and this country is staring in to the sporting pit of failure, just conjure up glorious images of us beating Lancaster (again), and a smile will return to your face.

rovision me last at Eu e have. We ca w y tr . un 08 co 20 ro What a rubbish featuring in Eu e’re not even (again), and w rmer. g than the fo e disappointin or s left m h ha uc er m ag is an re as England m rd The latter failu co re ite al qu m g n’s abys ships seemin Steve McClare er’s Champion m m su is th of the coverage d pointless. meaningless an much terest in it is ed, but our in ay the pl an be th ill er st th ill otball fans ra Yes football w being lower, stricted to fo or re ct be fa t ill w en d lower an e entertainm y. As well as th whole countr er in the UK. ff su so al s will many industrie Thanks for your letter. Chesney-bashing, it seems, is nal about our natio quite a common past-time. His name joins quite an n w do l el fe ca I lo n eered by our However, whe ch t impressive list of pop superstars performing in York as le at res, I am sporting failu over the last few years – the Vengaboys, B*Witched S! (well, half of them), Cheeky Girls… While the success – ROSE University of East Anglia sings along to the Hoosiers, ly, who played at their Uni recently, we’re developYours sincere ing a reputation for acts who once held a crumb of ent. ud st ar ye popularity but who are now unemployed in the music t Rob, 1s arena of 2008.

YES, SAYS MIKE SIMS

ur collegiate system is a core part of the University and is at the heart of our student experience – an experience only enjoyed at a few (but highly distinguished) Universities such as Oxford, Cambridge and Durham. It cannot be denied that the college strcuture shapes and moulds the experiences of every student of the University. The vast majority of students, perhaps even without realising it, associate with their college strongly, often proudly (and drunkenly) telling others in the Gallery queue their college is the mightiest in terms of inhabitants/atmosphere/facilities. Even the Sunday Times has noted that “the colleges are tight-knit communities within the university and enjoy a healthy rivalry.” The housing and social benefits offered by the college system are considerable. College sports allow those who aren’t destined for a lifetime of sporting stardom to participate in a fun and less competitive environment. College facilities such as the Common Rooms offer communal areas to socialise and relax, and each college has its own welfare support team to help students with any difficulties. The maintenance of the colleges is also pretty fair and democratic, with the com-

mittees and representatives who run them being elected by undergraduate students. But what would York be like without the college system? Many Freshers, I feel, would feel (even) more like “little fish in the big sea” if they turned up in Freshers week without that sense of collegiate community and care. The University would undoubtedly lose its sense of tradition if the colleges were dismantled, and would be left without a clear structure and backbone. If York abolished its college system, it would be betraying its very roots. The University’s first Vice-Chancellor, Baron James of Rusholme, held strong views on this, saying that the University must be collegiate in character to maintain its educational and cultural excellence. With its fine reputation and excellence in tact, then, what does the future hold for our college system? Well, encouragingly, it looks reasonably secure as the University plans to place an established college, Goodricke, at the heart of its Heslington East project. The relocation of Goodricke to Hes. East will give the new area of campus a solid backbone and will sustain the college system at York well in to the future. So all in all, it seems that the colleges are alive and well…

Vanbrugh and Alcuin are turning 40, but should York keep its college system?

Go aw ay Ch Dear V esney ision,

I’m ju st at the writing to y a up. Th rray of lov ou to expre ely en ss my e vario d b run b y socie us college -of-year ev ubbling ex c ents t balls ties m end w and g hat ar itement ith a b ean th igs, ec ang. at the acade along with oming mic y Howe ear is events ve going lonely r, why oh why is to black C big-D c and t loud in a b hesney Ha h w amazin lu re k g even atening to e sky, Haw es coming? kes is t. ruin w Like a loo h at wil The P l othe ming over endulu rwise m DJ even be an a se will ro bouncy cas t promises tle th to be ll up, rown imme play h a few nse in t is grand richer one and on oo. But de , and there . ly cha a ’ rt hit, r ol’ Chesn s The ev ey and sc e uttle dulum nt organise off rs des D e but ple J set and for th rve praise f ase, le e re or a ave th e obse st of the p ttracting t la h ssion with 9 nned celeb e PenBest w 0 r s c h eese a ations, ishes, lone. A che esed o ff Mu sic stu dent.

NO, SAYS HARRY PEARSE

s people filter out of Ziggi’s, Fresher’s are likely to hear something to the tune of ‘my toilet…is bigger than your flat, my toilet…IS BIGGER THAN YOUR FLAT’. The fusillade that follows may either be described as inter-college banter, or, as the exchange develops, aggressive vitriol. Such is the joy of our much vaunted collegiate system. Our arbitrary allocation to various monolithic concrete fortresses, distinguished only by name, has the power to instil in everybody an irrational suspicion of other colleges and an unerring belief in their inferiority. Following a typically underwhelming college event, I always remain sentient enough, despite the flat college beer, to notice the formidable uniformity of York’s buildings. This arguably explains why, until about two weeks ago, it was still necessary for me to refer constantly to campus signposts and never venture out without a compass and other cartographic materials. Perhaps it is this Soviet-esque architecture that has engendered our insatiable need to lampoon rival colleges fiscal decisions, mock their strategic sporting decisions and escalate a slander race that risks future physical conflagration. Now, although outright war and eventual Vanbrugh hegemony would undoubtedly produce a modi-

cum of personal smugness, the break up of the enemy collegiate bloc would inevitably result in a period of great instability. With York’s descent into the shadows of academic obscurity, the onus is on us to put on a united front and channel our instincts for sabotage and assault in a more productive direction. Battling other Universities requires a collective effort. There are of course more immediate problems. College bars and facilities have precluded the development of a Student Union venue. As recompense we are offered small, grotty purveyors of counterfeit Carlsberg, whose appearance and atmosphere are more akin to an airport waiting lounge than convivial student booze hole. Worst of all, the artificial sequestering along collegiate cleavages is only a temporary one. If for three years we were expected to maintain the tribalism, perhaps the rivalries would become less trivial and more constructively competitive. Indeed, contained and regulated antagonisms could elevate our collective reputation. However, cast off campus in our second and 3rd years, loyalties wane and clandestine, later flagrant, intermingling ensues. The year we have to nurture the us-andthem mentality is not enough to crystallise irredeemable enmity, and the rapprochement that begins the following October, is galling for all concerned.

10COMMENT

YORK VISION Tuesday June 3, 2008

COLUMNS

40 YEARS OF

FAILURE

TOM SHINGLER

JENNIFER HUTTON

ecently the BBC documentary on the past 40 years of the Middle East, The Age of Terror, charted a period of huge failures on the part of the West. Since the State of Israel was declared in 1948, Palestinian refugees have lived in poverty, exclusion, persecution and discrimination. Civil war in Israel has forced thousands to leave their homes, families and livelihoods due to “ethnic cleansing”. This conflict has been seen by the West as a battle between Muslims and Jews, perhaps even fuelled by religious and cultural hatred. But this is wrong and far from the truth. When Britain supported the Western Zionist movement at the beginning of the twentieth century it was exercising its imperial power. The Zionist movement was concerned that a Jewish diaspora threatened Jewish culture and identity. Its solution was to actively assert the Jewish right to a homeland, which, biblically, was Palestine. The dominant belief propagated by Zionists is that Palestine was always “a land without a people” and the Jews a “people without a land”. In the Balfour Declaration of 1917, Palestinians were defined as merely the ‘existing non-Jewish communities in Palestine’. When immigration to Jerusalem began it was Palestinians, Jews and Muslims alike who were persecuted. Ultimately, Zionism uses religious backing to validate its actions. Essentially, the struggle of the Palestinians is one of survival. Virtually stateless, their nationality is “undefined”. Instead, Palestinian literature and cinema have developed as expressions of identity. During the Catastrophe of 1948-50, the Israeli army poisoned the water of the city of Acre with typhoid. Over 4oo Palestinian villages were depopulated, creating 780,000 refugees. Yet a dominant narrative still exists claiming that the choice to evacuate was made by the Palestinian people themselves in order to allow the military forces of Palestine through. Palestinians have been continuously denied the “right of return” to their homes. The obvious hypocrisy here is that the “right of return” exists to all Jews globally, who freely come and go from the holy city. Recently the Gaza Strip has been cut off by Israel, keeping the inhabitants as prisoners. Palestinian terrorists must never be condoned, but they should be no more scorned upon than Israel's excessive force. As a solution, Israeli Jews perhaps need to accept the wrongs of their country, and admit that they, once the world's victims, have become victimisers themselves. Palestinians must suppress the actions of suicide bombers. There is no possibility of Israeli Jews leaving these lands now; the pawns have been placed - it has to now be a case of moving forward out of this stalemate.

veryone knows one of the hardest things to do during your university life is to balance the social and academic aspects. Naturally we feel bad when we miss a seminar or don’t start an essay until the day before it’s due, but are we being too hard on ourselves?

Should we treat university as a means to getting a good career, or more of an experience which can be looked back on years ahead as some of the best moments of our lives? We are approaching the end of the academic year, with summer days (well, sort of), end-ofyear balls and gigs to look forward

Here's the way to do it to. But some people are obsessed with prioritizing work over everything else. This is not to demand that you put your pen down now and refuse to do any more work for the rest of term. I am just concerned that when we look back in a few years' time we will realise that we missed out on parties and meeting people, all because we were too busy endlessly read-

"You might find that the times you just say 'fuck it' and go out are well worth it"

"I’m not trying to instigate some kind of anti-studying movement or anything" ing and researching things that we didn’t even want to be reading and researching. It’s obvious that we need to sometimes do this in order to not get kicked out, but university is the last time in most of our lives when we still have the freedom to do things like go to the pub on a Wednesday afternoon and not leave until closing time without too many consequences. For many people, their first year doesn’t count towards their overall degree anyway, so why do I see these people refusing to go out because they have an essay in for next week? Go and create some great memories that will stay with you for the rest of your life. I may have a warped view of university life from all the teen comedies I

have watched, and my bank balance is certainly something I don’t wish to share with my parents, but I would say it has been completely worth it so far and I’m sure it will be for the remainder of my time in York. I’m not trying to instigate some kind of anti-studying movement or anything. Just next time you have the option to go out and have fun with your friends or stay in your room and work, simply weigh the pros against the cons and you might find that the times you just say “fuck it” and go out are well worth the small periods of time in which you are frantically meeting work deadlines for the next day. After all, you only live once!

Do politics and sport mix well? One writer tells Vision that it’s not a match made in heaven…

NICK SCARLETT

olitics – the art or science of government, dealing with the form, organization, and administration of a state. Sport – diversion, entertainment, fun, a pastime. At least, those are the dictionary definitions. In theory, the two entities are separate and independent. The political world is, or should be, a world of economics,

reforms and policies designed to oversee the general public. The sporting world should be a world of entertainment, recreation and energy. Yet, in both the recent past, and most likely the near future, they have collided and will collide in numerous, explosive fashions. The most notable conflict this year is the upcoming controversial Beijing Olympics. Many libertarians are unhappy that the Olympics, perhaps the biggest competition in sport, are being held in China, a country with a damnable civil rights record, as seen recently in Tibet. These people argue that the Olympics should not be seen to “endorse” the Chinese regime, and point to the protests and violence that travelled with the Olympic torch earlier this year, especially in London and Paris, as evidence of opposition. The argument, it appears, is simple – the nature of Chinese political

rule means it is not a suitable venue for a sporting event of this magnitude. But China is a country with a population greater than that of the entire EU, and the Olympics is the world’s premier sporting competition. Should it be denied to the people of its largest nation, merely due to the political nature of its rulers? The answer, as shown by the decision to host the Olympics in Beijing, is a resounding no. The Olympics is not, and never has been, about the likes of Gordon

"They argue that the Olympics should not be seen to 'endorse' the Chinese regime" Brown and Nicholas Sarkozy. Instead, it focuses on sporting heroes and legends such Sir Steven Redgrave and Ian Thorpe. It is the world’s finest athletes, and not politicians, who are on show. It is not a test of China’s politicians, but rather it is athletes, and this should not be forgotten. Another, less high profile clash between sport and politics comes mid2009, when England’s cricketers face those of Zimbabwe in a preAshes warm up.

"The Olympics is not, and never has been, about the likes of Gordon Brown and Nicholas Sarkozy"

The tour is unlikely to go ahead if visas for Zimbabwean sportsmen are blocked due to the repressive regime of Robert Mugabe. But here again, should a country’s sports people be punished for the actions of their country’s political leader? The arguments on both sides of the coin are numerous and with merit. Those pro-sporting sanctions will point to South Africa, and the impact that the boycotting of the Proateas had in influencing political change, with this implying that it is sport influencing politics, rather than vice versa. However, others will argue that by denying a country sporting stars to worship, they are merely denying ordinary men and women some form of escapism, with the recent successes of the Iraqi football team a case in point. Whichever side of the fence you sit on, it’s difficult to see a time when sport will just be entertainment, and politics is likely to rear its ugly head in sporting matters again, and again, and again.

YORK VISION Tuesday June 3, 2008

RUBBISH

THE SKETCH

YORKVISI N

Draaaaaaaaaaaaaawing out the truth...

"FOOD STANDS ARE THE FUTURE" SAY CLUB OWNERS THINGS THAT RHYME WITH 'BORK BISION' EXCLUSIVE'

BY CRAIG PISSS AFTER THE POPULAR discotheque Toffs relaunched as Tru, the men and women in charge of shaping York's nightlife have glimpsed the future. And it's covered in mustard. Tru's heady blend of baseball vendor snacks and thumping bass rhythms has already ensnared many students, and competitors are keen to capture the key demographic of 'students willing to pay several pounds for horrendous food purely because they're in an enclosed space and can't be bothered to walk to Subway'. Ziggy's, rumoured to be considering a name change to simply the lowercase letter z, is hoping to be the next club to take advantage of the craze. Its owners have been threatening to introduce a popcorn maker, to be situated next to the cloak room, to supplement their income on student nights. Keen not to be left in the cold, the university's head

honchos have been discussing how to harness the power of hungry hungry Halifax students during campus events. One proposal saw blueprints drawn up for what would have been Europe's 2nd largest candyfloss maker, only for the project to be scrapped due to fears over the littering of students discarding sticks. Ninth year Politics wastrel, Graham Goldens, looks forward to more opportunities to gorge when his friends are dancing, or talking to members of the opposite sex: "Before, if I was in The Gallery, I'd have to have something to eat before I went in. And then I couldn't eat anything until I left. What was that all about? Thankfully, the clubs have come to my senses and..." Sadly, the rest of Graham's comments were unintelligible, as he had begun to gnaw on a comedically large chicken drumstick.

Fake news stories cut off

YORK STUDENTS WERE outraged after intriguing campus news stories were cut off without warning. The articles, which had drawn in readers with salacious headlines and artful photographs, suddenly end-

Lecturer romps with fresher A SULTRY STUDENT'S world was not the only thing rocked after it emerged that she had been engaging in passionate trysts with a lecturer. Despite a keen determination to maintain secrecy, the pair's torrid fanciful fling was unveiled after a porter investigated complaints about the loud banging and noises. Vision can exclusively reveal the identities of the

One scientist's chilling prediction for York's bouncers of tomorrow

Things about York that are worse than having a pirate for President

Campus Playboy unmasked

IT HAS TAKEN THE best part of a year, but the infamous Campus Playboy is anonymous no longer. The self-styled lothario has titillated Vision readers with his autobiographical accounts of amorousness. However, having evaded jealous boyfriends and overzealous club cubicle cleaners for so long, the Playboy's luck finally ran out last Friday, as he was caught in flagrante with a trio of top totty. The Playboy, whose nam-

Duck barbie ďŹ nes result in huge bill

#2 Gash graffiti

SOME FAMISHED FIRSTYEARS got a nasty surprise after a DIY BBQ went OMG bad. Realising that the campus Costcutter had closed early on Sunday, the group of housemates were left starving hungry, but with only a pair of disposable grills and their wits. However, their plan to chow down on some campus ducks was destined

12 FEATURES

aleh shar BE ads

YORK VISION

FEATURES

Tuesday June 3, 2008

y t i rs on e v ni rati U er abo t n I oll c

Joseph Burnham, Robert Romans, Elinor Romans and Lauren Cockbill investigate...

inside MAN #13 Sex and sexuality week Although I said I’d stop reviewing whole weeks, I forced myself to make an exception for this one. York’s Sex and Sexuality week was marketed as a rocking good festival of facts, discussions and socials – importantly, it wasn’t intended as an introductory affair for those joining the LGBT, but rather as an educational opportunity for the wider student body. Whether or not this was achieved is debatable, and the mixture of socials with lectures and talks probably added to the vagueness – ideally these different events should have been more clearly separated to gain broader attendance, as it wasn’t always clear. Much of the week proved to be interesting, although it’s understandable that knowledge-seeking participants may leave with more questions than they started with, as a continual theme of the talks and discussions revolved around the assumption that the issues mentioned were too large and complex to be authoritative in scope. Of course, depending on opinion, this vagueness might not be seen as a negative feature exactly, but the fact that it was so recurring could have become frustrating to some. However, despite the cancellation of ‘Queer Bashing’ due to health and safety reasons, the event was extremely well-organised overall and it was clear that a large amount of preparation was involved. This was especially evident during the ‘Boot Camp’ social in Vanbrugh on the Friday night, which featured an incredibly positive atmosphere, and competitions such as the ‘man-off ’ that functioned with a rare-perfect level of tongue-in-cheekery. The whole week mirrored this mood, but in actuality that might have been the biggest flaw. Although it’s easy to forget about the outside world while in the campus bubble, it seemed that the week would have benefited greatly from some events including a more welfare-oriented approach while discussing life outside university. There was very little mention of the problems or discrimination that people within the LGBT community can face, nor strategies for combating it (although discrimination due to having red hair kept popping up). This was true even at the debates – although leaders from local churches were invited, all of them were overwhelmingly liberal, and as such little direct debate really occurred. Overall I liked the week thoroughly and the committee pulled together an enjoyable series of events – it just would’ve been nice to see less light-hearted banter and more impacting discussion at times.

EXETER AFTERMATH: COULD IT HAPPEN IN YORK ?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve grown utterly desensitised to government warnings and official advice to remain vigilant - and frankly, scared - the minute you walk outside your home. The Home Office has more than it’s fair share of recommendations, including a classic section that provides glossy bullet-point style advice – with various suggestions, such as to gather “cash and credit cards” or “Home and car keys” in the event of a disaster. As such, the official government precautions are often seen in an almost humorous light to students – not limited to YUSU President-elect Tom Scott, who created the most infamous online parody. But still, despite how easy it is for us to laugh it all off, once in a while something unexpected occurs which hits home a little deeper than usual, and for some people can actually become quite an upsetting instance. Of course, I’m referring to the recent incident of attempted terrorism that occurred at thr Princesshay Shopping Centre, Exeter, on

: D A E R P S E R T N CE HION? S A F O C E R O N IO S AS ECO-P

the 22nd of May this year. As a recent event, it can strike a particular chord with York students, due to the perceived similarity between the two cities in terms of style and size. The thought is that would-be terrorists might no longer aim for busy metropolitan areas, and instead begin to target smaller English communities. “When the Princesshay Shopping Centre opened last September most Exeter University students agreed it was a good thing while graduates were left to drool enviously. Dreary, rundown post-war developments were swept away and replaced with part time jobs and big name shops which removed the need to trek to Plymouth or Bristol for retail therapy.” Writes Elinor Romans, a Phd student at the University of Exeter contacted by Vision. “What we didn’t imagine was the events of May 22nd. Exeter has generally been a peaceful city; lone students walking home at 2am somewhat the worse for wear can expect to arrive home intact. In fact, the crime rate is

PAGE 16:

amongst the lowest in the country while minority groups are generally reasonably integrated. However, old hands such as myself remember the period following 9/11 when the then universal paranoia was heightened by the threat of an attack on the Institute of Arab and Islamic studies, a threat which culminated in a false alarm and the visit of a bomb disposal team to campus. "These events aside, last weeks attack was a major surprise. Exeter is not the sort of place you expect to be targeted by terrorists. It is a small, provincial city of limited fame and importance. That Exeter could become a terrorist target should serve as a warning for similar towns and cities around the United Kingdom including York. It is hard to tell exactly what effect the attack will have on Exeter in general and on students in particular.” Of course, the reaction could have been extremely different if the attack had taken place on the campus itself, a scenario which British universities have thankfully been spared of in modern times. I personally assumed that universities might be at elevated risk compared to the surrounding areas, but the official position holds that universities aren’t especially endangered. A spokesman for the University of York told Vision “There is nothing to suggest that this campus is more susceptible to a terrorist attack”. With renewed fears of terrorism, it’s understandable that people may be on a heightened sense of alert, but it’s important we don’t let healthy concern for safety lead to anti-social paranoia. “We have students from countries from all over the world and we certainly don’t want to suspect that everyone is a potential terrorist. The point is that we do have an open campus and we do

SCIENTOLOGY MEETS STUDENTS

YORK VISION

FEATURES

Tuesday June 3, 2008

Confessions ie of a cabb

Those nice men and women that drive you home after one too many sambuccas have had enough. Each week VISION brings you another of their student exposing confessions.

and 7/7 devastated the western world and the majority of the eastern world, but despite the lapse in time, the recent terrorist attempt in Exeter shows that the threat may be still alive. But the violation of terrorist suspects’ human rights is a disturbing trend in countering terrorism, and isn’t on the decrease either. Gordon Brown is pushing controversial plans to extend the time terror suspects can be held without charge from 28 days to 42 days. However Brown assures that the 42 days would only be used in the case of a national emergency, as a ‘safe-guard’. Nevertheless it sets a dangerous precedent and on principal shares similarities with the thinking behind Guantanamo, so much so that Amnesty International has accused the plans of ‘flying in the face of basic human rights.' Never theless, there’s no obvious threat of terrorism on York’s campus, and the University has informed us that emergency plans are already established

Exeter’s student population, notorious for heavy drinking, will probably resume its normal existence

Paranoia in circumstances such as these have already shown ugly results internationally

in the event of any large-scale incident. Concluding, Elinor Romans writes: “In the short term, people are less inclined to go out at night and more likely to stay in, enjoying the company of friends they might have lost. In the longer term (i.e. when exams finish in a couple of weeks) Exeter’s student population, notorious for heavy drinking, will probably resume its normal existence albeit with more regard for safety and security. Emails sent by the University authorities emphasise the need for caution but assure us we can carry on safely. Business as normal may quickly resume but there will be long term change. Exeter students will probably take more of an interest in local news and security paranoia will doubtless become a semi-permanent feature as it has become in London following the 7/7 attacks. Exeter University students are probably in no more danger now than they were a month ago; it is up to us to get on with our lives and to keep on wearing our stash with pride.”

have to strike a balance between security and for people to meet and enjoy University life. We feel we’ve got that balance right”, says a spokesperson for the University of York. When asked whether students should report suspicious behaviour, he replied “Just because someone is acting “suspiciously” may mean they have a personal problem. We do say if people are aware of people whose behaviour changes for no apparent reason, including dressing differently, having different friends, personality changing, etc, these are reasons to be concerned from a welfare point of view, and obviously not in the context of terrorism. We want to try and approach it from a point of view helping the students.” Paranoia in circumstances such as these have already shown ugly results internationally. Moazzam Begg, a British Muslim man, endured abduction, torture, and incarceration after he was arrested by U.S. soldiers in Pakistan and detained in Guantanamo Bay prison for two years without trial. On Thursday 22nd of May he came to talk at the university about how Guantanamo Bay, a place where human rights are violated, is run by the largest ‘democratic’ nation in the world: the United States of America. The events of 9/11

Have thoughts about this article? Email Features@YorkVision.co.uk

Being a cabbie is often a job for life, and it has been for me. Those of us who have been in the business for a long time agree that one of the biggest changes that have occurred within the taxi industry is that the type of people who use our cabs are no longer just the well-off. It used to just be business types, but now much of my business is from picking students up from Morrison’s. This has led to taxi drivers becoming increasingly competitive to attract the new trade, and intense rivalries have developed. These are either friendly duels between companies or personal ones between individual drivers. For example, many drivers, especially independent ones, hate minicabs for nicking our business. It’s so intense that a few years ago me and another driver decided to sandwich a 7-seater mini-van. He’d pushed in and stolen our customers outside Gallery due to his enlarged size. So we pulled off and drove after him out of town, jostling either side of his vehicle. He had customers inside, but we didn’t care – and that’s why we were doing it, ‘cos he had our customers inside his fancy, bloated vehicle. My mate's taxi scraped along the side of the 7-seater, and we heard his passengers shriek, possibly in drunken delight – or perhaps just in fear. I love my job sometimes! Hopefully it put those students off riding a mini-bus for the rest of their lives. Anyway, we felt it suitably served the driver right for muscling in on our patch. Taxi drivers also have strong opinions when it comes to chatting with customers. In most jobs you’re told “The customer is always right”, but I ignore this ridiculous rule because it allows some customers to become snobby, sneering know-it-alls. Like a “mature student” called Alistair who I picked up from the York Opera House (yes, the opera – not somewhere most students will have experienced, despite often walking past it when staggering between the Lowther and Gallery), who was very stuck up indeed. Dear old Alistair was trying to give me his expert view on York’s one-way roads, which just wound me up ‘cos it’s like telling the Queen how to drink tea. I use these roads every hour of every day, and I was getting more and more wound up. Ali just wouldn’t shut up, but I didn’t want to deliberately get lost in order for him to have to pay more ‘cos then he’d turn around and smugly say, “See, I told you I know more about York’s roads than you”. So instead I gained a cheap victory by closing my window and just letting out a mammoth fart. And I tell you what, that soon shut him up! And by the way, how old are “mature students” anyway? He looked at least 30, so I would like to take this opportunity to tell him to stop messing around and get a job. Maybe he could gain employment as a taxi driver in fact – after all, he’s opinionated, apparently “knows York’s roads” very well... and it would give me the chance to assault another vehicle.

As told to Mike Sims

14 FEATURES

Environmentalism: passion or fashion? YORK VISION

YORK VISION

Tuesday June 3, 2008

Ash March and Sarah Stretton delve into the evolving issues of environmentalism and ask York students how it affects them

‘W

e shan't save all we should like to, but we shall save a great deal more than if we had never tried.’ Environmentalism has come a long way since Sir Peter Scott, painter, naturalist, and co-founder of the World Wildlife Fund, commented on the value of his 1961 conception. Scott’s gaze was fixed firmly upon the wildlife of Africa, but the relevance of his observation to the present day - his grasp of the central argument of environmental ethics - is uncanny.

The WWF has been prescient on more than a few counts in its history, introducing one of the key concepts of the last few years, sustainable development, in its World Conservation Strategy for the 1980s. Now, the group is known as the World Wide Fund for Nature, a subtle shift in title which reflects the broadening of environmental concerns more generally. Many environmental groups have found themselves diversifying to keep up. Under the heading of all things ‘earth’ a whole raft of issues confronts us all, each seemingly fundamental, from exploitation of resources and human labour to climate change - the barbarian at the gates for a new millennium. With UN World Environment Day last Thursday, when a host of campus organisations descended on Vanbrugh to ‘raise awareness’ for particular issues, it is as good a time as ever to examine the implications of environmentalism in the present day.

One thing is certainly true - you can’t avoid it. Environmentalism has become part of popular culture. Last year’s Live Earth concerts, though a ratings flop in the UK (in part due, with delicious irony, to coinciding with the warmest weather in weeks), are at least evidence of a shift on high – a detection of interest from a mass audience, sufficient for it to take up half a day’s scheduling on the BBC. Notably, the event found extraordinary success online, claiming the record for the largest number of internet streams ever. Yes, it was probably mainly about the music, but it still garnered attention. Using a combination of new and old media has been key to capturing the public imagination. The Guardian took advantage of this, as the first newspaper to create a dedicated environment section on their website. Guardian.co.uk/environment has grown over two years to attract a million readers in March alone. On the WWF’s homepage, links to environmental histories and sub-sites for specific campaigns sit alongside photos of Leonardo DiCaprio, shamelessly splashed around to promote The 11th Hour, the latest environment film/documentary hybrid to have been given Hollywood production values. Morgan Freeman and Patrick Stewart, among others, have lent their venerable voices to a new wave of nature documentaries in recent years, breaking onto the silver screen in a way that environmentalism never has before. Al Gore, an unlikely cinematic figure, challenged his sober image to release An Inconvenient Truth, and at the

STUDENT OPINION

same time, veteran David Attenborough pandered to the old TV demographic with the jaw-dropping, $25 million Planet Earth series. Although this all seems laudable, the ardent cynic can still make headway. Planet Earth regularly dropped guilt-provoking hints at our destructive influence on the environment, but the programme’s astronomical costs could have done tangible good for some of the environments featured, and the choice to create entertainment rather than genuinely make a difference epitomises the selfishness which precludes real progress. What is it really all about? The media upsurge in environmental coverage can be ascribed to DVD sales, rather than philanthropy. BBC Worldwide does a roaring trade distributing Planet Earth. Al Gore’s popularity grew enormously as his face was beamed to millions upon millions worldwide, and it was speculated he could campaign again for US president off the back of this fame. However, when we begin to cast doubts on the media’s intentions, it is only right to consider our own – ignorance is no longer a valid plea we are constantly making choices. Saturated with eco-knowledge as we are, are we still choosing the easy life over the environment? Selfishness over sustainability?

FEATURES

Tuesday June 3, 2008

These are some of the key findings of our research into student attitudes towards environmentalism: Only 2 people of 50 felt that society as a whole is doing enough about environmental issues. Almost half (46%) of stuNearly three quarters of dents we surveyed didn't feel those asked deemed climate informed enough to judge the change to be the biggest university administration’s threat facing the world in the attitude towards the environTwenty-First Century. Other of students felt that ment. Do students fail to take suggestions were religious society was NOT doing an interest, or is it because enough about environ- tensions, material greed and they feel too distant from the mental issues the oil reserves running out. decision-maling process?

98%

26% of interviewees felt that the university administration’s attitude towards the environment was satisfactory or mostly positive, just losing out to the 28% that felt it was insufficient or seriously deficient. The remaining 46% did not feel informed enough to judge. Half of the students surveyed felt that there was insufficient consideration for the environment among there peers. Not One person said that they were unconcerned about the environment.

INTERVIEW:

YUSU ENVIRONMENT & ETHICS OFFICER: JOHN NICHOLLS

What are your thoughts on the gradual shift of focus in environmentalism from the animal to climate change - "the panda to the polar bear"? Like all progressive movements, environmentalism has had to change and respond to the pressing issues of the time. With the realisation over the last decade or so that climate change is one of the greatest challenges facing the future of the planet this shift has come fairly naturally. Of course the movement doesnt then leave behind other issues such as animal protection. I think that as it has become more mainstream, it is able to attract more people and focus on a wider range of issues. What main environmental challenges does the university face? The expansion onto the Heslington East campus poses a huge challenge. As the campus is being built on greenbelt land, it adds significantly to the environmental impact of the university. We, in the Students' Union are aware of the university's commitment to sustainable development and want to see that is follows this through. This will include effective measures such as reduction, reuse and recycling of waste, efficient use of energy and water, and a reduction in overall car use and increase in cycle use and increase in cycle use. Increasing the percentage of waste recycling on the current campus, and setting targets for renewable energy use are also very important now and in the future. Do you experience much difficulty in getting students to response to environmental issues? There are always challenges but I feel that students are becoming more and more responsive to the issues, now that there is more awareness across society as a whole. In fact I am often peasantly surprised as to how enthusiastic a lot of students are to issues such as recycling. Going around campus blocks for example, the vast majority of students have a positive attitude towards this and our job is to make it as easy as possible so that is become natural. How far does YUSU support or inhibit the work of an environment officer? The union is very supportive of our work and like all positions, we feel important members of the executive commitee. We are part of a co-ordination group that is managed by the Services and Finance officer and so through this we receive help and advice. When we took on the position at the start of term, Matt Burton was quick to ask to meet with us so we could formulate some plans for the coming years. This contact is essential for the smooth running of the union as a whole. Is the university doing enough to address issues of sustainability etc?

Cut-Price Havens vs. Sustainable Materialism S

ustainable living has now become a part of our daily lives. China, and your Primark bargain was made by an invisible sweatWhereas ten years ago you were expected to recycle your shop army somewhere east of Scarborough. You might be endorswaste products yourself or not at all, the majority of local ing exploitation of the environment and people, but that isn’t on councils are now doing the legwork, and most peothe label next to ‘Size: Medium’ and ‘£4’, so how are you to know? ple put out a full recycling box every other TuesCheap and accessible style is a central aspect of student day. Turning lights off, not leaving anything identity. The speed of turn over, the excitement of puron stand-by, boiling only what you need in "As perenchase and the warm glow one gets from a new ensemthe kettle – these are all things we know we nial skulkers ble often overrule any moral naggings we might feel. should be doing, but who remembers to do Budget fashion stores, such as Primark and H&M, offer them every time? In an informal survey, not of the bargain us affordable, throwaway fashion on tap. A dress from one out of fifty York students reported that bin we run cerPrimark will set you back a meagre £8, whilst a dress they themselves were unconcerned about from environmentally-friendly People Tree will cost the environment, but only half felt that the tain risks" you five times that amount. Why would we boycott this student population gave the issues enough cut-price haven? consideration. If it seems as if we have the basics of sustainable living down, perceptions are Last week, Alexa Chung fronted Channel 4’s investigative prothat we are still not doing enough, we are at the tip gramme The Devil Wears Primark, a programme setting out to of a fast-melting iceberg. expose the sweatshop conditions behind Primark’s bargainous £2 As perennial skulkers of the bargain bin, for example, we run par- t-shirt. The human cost is plain enough to see, but further horrors ticular risks. Unwittingly, the consumer choices that we make on are revealed when we look past the stitching. The textiles used in a day-to-day basis drip with consequences that reverberate across the majority of the clothing are mass-produced on an industrial the globe. Your satsuma is South-African, your biro was made in scale, and the heavy-duty pesticides which make this possible in-

filtrate water systems, getting into local drinking water and poisoning wildlife over a significant area. For a £2 t-shirt. When presented with the gory truth behind these student style-sanctuaries, is it still acceptable to claim poverty and ignorance? Peer pressure and the media explain our tendencies, but do they justify it? Ultimately, it is a judgement call.

it? There are accessible high-street options at both ends of the scale; all of M&S basic t-shirts are "When prefair-trade, and even New Look have got in on sented with the the act, with an organic cotton range only marginally more expensive than standard. gory truth behind Slowly but surely, the high-street fashion these student style giants are catching on to the increasing demand for fashion with a heart.

sanctuaries, is it acceptable to claim ignorance?"

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that we aren’t entirely trapped as consumers. Eco-fashion has already had quite an impact on the shelves, proving it is possible to refute pesticides in favour of organic production, insisting on fair-trade initiatives for producers and still catering to fashion trends. Companies such as internet-based People Tree and Edun offer ethical, environmentally-friendly fashions that tick all the boxes on environmentalists’ wish lists, but their products are probably a little too expensive for the frugal among us - four items for the price of eight high-street bargains doesn’t follow student logic. If quality, ethics and environmental benefits are a part and parcel of a slightly minimised wardrobe, then perhaps it’s worth

As environmental culture further embeds itself into our lifestyles, sustainable fashion will hopefully have a bigger impact on the high street, and in time become standard practice. The more pressure that is put on industries to re-evaluate production methods, trade standards and sourcing of materials, the sooner this will happen. Students can have an active role in this pressure simply through our purchase choices. Pass your vote for sustainable fashion.

I personally feel they could do more. We are meeting with university staff who look at sustainability next week, where we should get a better idea of what the main issues and potential stumbling blocks are. I would like to see a greater commitment towards improving cycle use through providing more cycle paths and more encouragement for both students and staff to use alternative forms of transport to the car. I also feel that there isn't enough information given to students about what they are actually doing. Any detail given on the website are very vague, and so it would be good to see more. What responses have eco-reps received within their own colleges? A positive one I hope! From what I've heard the general attitude is that eco-reps have an important role to play within the JCRCs and are treated as such. Last year when collecting recycling from kitchens was the responsibility of the eco-reps, I know that many of the JCRCs pulled together to help out with this which was great to hear.

Are there any figures/societies which play a positive tole in adddressing these challenges, and are there any who have a negative effect? People and Planet society, of which I am a member, has played an active role in trying to raise awareness about these issues within the student population. At the Union General Meeting back in March several of their members submitted a motion concerning Heslington East, which passed with close to 600 votes. This mandated the union to pressure the university to meet its commitments on sustainability and employ an Environment Manager to oversee this. Joe and I, as Environment and Ethics officers, now have the change to help take this forward to the university, with the backing of the student population. Oxfam on campus are also helping to raise awareness, hosting stalls for the UN Environment Day this thursday (5 June). This will hopefully continue to raise the profile of environmental issues on campus, and bring a broad set of groups together. We want to make students aware of the fact that we are here to represent your concerns within the union, and that there are plenty of ways to get involved.

SCENE June 08 Issue 16

: S D A E H E R U T THE FU K N I R B E H T M O R F K C BA

PLUS: Mike Figgis / Helen Dunmore / The Whip...and even a teensy bit more!

SPOTLIGHT

MUSIC

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SCENE

June 08 Issue 16

Scene Editor: Michael Regan Music Editors: Joseph McDermott, Hollie Price Film Editor: Andrew Nicholls Film Deputy Editor: Alison Kjeldgaard TV Editor: Scott Bryan Culture Editor: Anna Wormleighton Culture Deputy Editor: Zoe Stones Books Editor: Samantha Cowley Books Deputy Editor: Jennifer Keogh Listings Editor: Sophie Sabin

CULTURE

LISTINGS

Mike Figgis

The Futureheads

Helen Dunmore

BOOKS

Film Reviews

How things have changed since you beautiful people last laid eyes on the beacon of cultural wonder that is The Scene. The sun has given way to a grey landscape, like when my colourblind friend tried to paint a sunset. But having had to endure the weather, and two issues of Nouse, we are back. This issue is as crammed full as Victoria Beckham's stomach after eating a polo. This issue's spotlight sees The Futureheads tell all on the pain, rejection and more pain of their journey back from the musical junkyard, whilst elsewhere Oscar nominated director Michael Figgis being refreshingly candid on the state of the modern film industry, and former York student Helen Dunmore recalling her time at the university And even thats not all, if your struggling for distractions from revision then we have reviews of the best and worst films, books and albums to be unleashed on a bored public this month. But to cap it all off, forget the BAFTAs or the National Television Awards, Scott Bryan brings you his TeleVISION Awards. Enjoy! Michael Regan

INTERVIEW

MUSIC

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Mike Regan interviews:

THE FUTUREHEADS

e all love one hit wonders. And for those of us lucky enough to be in possession of the most valuable ticket since Willy Wonka became lonely, the drunken ecstasy of Big D and Chesney Hawke’s performance of ‘The One and Only’ awaits us. For hits such as these are as guilty a pleasure as Panic at the Disco, yet are the Futureheads set to join Dear old Chesney. That is to join him in being wheeled out a few times a year, in front of pissed up students intent on hollering one song and one song only. Sadly The Futureheads are still only known to the unenlightened Kooks loving masses for their precocious cover of Kate Bush’s ‘ Hounds of Love’, thus their razor sharp post punk anthems remain an alternative phenomenon. But the Futureheads aren’t a band to quibble over such minor irritants, their bassist Jaff shrugs, “If we didn’t like it we wouldn’t play it". Certainly the Sunderland quartet have endured their fair share of adversity of late; dropped by their record label after disappointing sales of their second album ‘News and Tributes’, the Futureheads were left without a label, without due recognition and seemingly without a place on today’s saturated indie scene. Despite Jaff insisting that

the band “ never talked about splitting up”, vocalist Barry Hyde has spoken openly of how close the mackums came to calling it a day. The Futureheads' story is truly that of the underdog, rather than bemoaning their harsh treatment and playing the role of the undervalued tortured artist, they have regrouped, founded their own record label and produced the album of their career. Whereas their previous two efforts left you craving more, ‘ This is not the World’ has an infinitely harder edge to it, and its unabashed intensity leave the listener as satisfied as Chris Langham in Mothercare. With lead single ‘Beginning of the Twist’ their best selling yet, the Futureheads seem finally set to for copulation with mainstream popularity, a possibility that Jaff

seems to relish, “Never underestimate the power of selling albums for an ego boost”. And if the Futureheads are to be provided with ego inflating popular recognition it can be attributed to nobody but themselves. Not only do tracks like ‘ Walking Backwards’ and ‘ Broke up the Time’ represent clear career highlights, their label Nul records was founded by the band, with the sole purpose of distributing Futureheads material. From the Crimea and Prince giving away albums for free, to Radiohead giving them to us for whatever price we damn well like, the music industry is changing and major label backing is no longer a pre-requisite for success. And Jaff ’s complaints about traditional musical institutions are as ancient and weary as Madonna’s cellulite, “ Traditional musical institutions were shit. Bands were exploited, they had no artistic control” . His bilious words

"TRADITIONAL MUSICAL INSTITUTIONS WERE SHIT. BANDS WERE BEING EXPLOITED"

SPOTLIGHT

MUSIC

FILM

Clue #1 that your tour photographer is in love with you: frequent ass shots

BOOKS

CULTURE

LISTINGS

"WE ARE IN THE MIDST OF THE MOST DRAMATIC COMEBACK SINCE LAZARUS WAS RUDELY AWAKENED" seem to be delivered with more than a hint of experience, for the Futureheads see their way as the way of the future. They are a band completely in control of their own affairs, the envy of their peers and the ideal to which the music industry should aspire. Throughout our conversation there comes across a clear sense of anger with the way in which the Futureheads have been treated and a sense that the best of them has never really come across on record before now. Even when I mention the band's work with the legendary Andy Gill of Gang of Four, the response is about as enthusiastic as an ME sufferer on a hike. Apparently Andy was, in a word ‘shit’. Such sentiments don’t seem to be uncommon, with Jaff not exactly sparing a place in his heart for many of those who have worked with the Futureheads. Their failing being they “tried to turn us into a recording band”, an outlook alien to the mercurial mackums. Fundamentally the Futureheads are a live band who “treat every gig like we are headlining”, though the example I’m given doesn’t exactly prove success with regard to this aim. According to Jaff the band blew CSS and MGMT off stage in a recent support slot, not that difficult a task one would presume. However, my musical snobbery aside, with their third effort comes a return to the band's roots as a live band, each instant classic is harder, fresher and more raw than anything else they’ve done. In short, it's all rather frenetic and rather angry. The reason for this is quite simple: it is a “reflection of (the band's) anger” over their treatment by music fat cats. The Futureheads are a record label’s nightmare, unwavering in their personal convictions they make the music they want to make. Thus their ditching is all the more upsetting, symptomatic of a sales obsessed music industry. “Everything was about what the next single 's going to be, or how many copies we would sell,” was just one of a number of snarling jibes. The Futureheads were always contrary to an industry in which four identikit teenagers to whom creativity is as alien as intelligence, can emerge as the ‘next big things.’ But for all the complaints and the mistreatment; The Futureheads are still here. So are we in the midst of the most dramatic comeback since Lazarus was rudely awakened? It seems so, for a band consigned to the musical scrapheap a mere 18 months ago, their explosion back on to the scene most likely took even Mystic Meg by surprise. But the Futureheads were never ones to give in, possessing what Jaff describes as “a gang mentality” and an inescable sense of fun, see their tug of war contest with We are Scientists as inescapable proof, the Futureheads were bound to return a better, stronger band. And that they certainly have done.

"WE TREAT EVERY GIG LIKE WE'RE HEADLINING" Even rockstars like Top Gear and QI repeats

S: D A E H E R U UT F E H T O T BACK IDE U G H G U O AR

ut undeis song. B eginth n a th ch more h Oh"s at the b t that O n out so mu ds are ab nt. From the " Oh derful pop mome a e h re e tu v e o u n L o F m o f e w o h f m s T o l d d d Houn playfu r. An e kin be a cove most gloriously the verse, it's th It might ng in their a is tw is n r th e . east niably ing eir north nt years. bludgeon ning, to thall too rare in rece are here; of British s rk a m e n has bee um's trad lyrics spat in one ll the alb orld album. A r ning and angry W e ir h e T th t o g This Is N to their crackin with a health wa Title trackshould be marked e vocal tones. ce. iv renaissan riffs that c's most distinct startling s the album 's si d a u e m h ie re a ind me way cover, the Futu ist in the sa iquitous ick start f The Tw at looks set to k ing proceedings ng since that ub O g in n ds so ginn gle th Begin lbum, be floors. uturehea eback sin The com rst track on the a ecome the first F vered indie dance b fi co o e ls scarf Also th he song has a ty, dessert T unfolds. a staple on swea e m to beco e Future ter ents in th f The Wa Danger O e rare slower momm a gentle almost r One of th non. Building fro d it feels like you aton n heads ca esque guitar sou s a musical Onom id radiohea by the riverside. It ck from their crim a lounging finete standout tr m. peia. a de er-rated first albu nally und um was g new alb ut down in k n a sp p brand arses, 's reheads' off your The Futu y 26th, so get up buy it, because it x to a d n M g bo a o in g ik d V n out on e a take th g pizza the Vikin lliant. Or at least d it, a bloody briputer and downlo your com

Photo by Jan Weber

SPOTLIGHT

MUSIC

FILM

BOOKS

CULTURE

LISTINGS

nick cave birmingham carling academy 05-05-08

fter 25 years and 14 studio albums, Nick Cave proves that growing old ungracefully is perfectly achievable. Backed by his extremely talented and extremely hairy band, the Bad Seeds, Nick Cave left the whole world screaming for more as he jumped about the stage with relentless energy. His aura was charming, his moustache was fetching that it did not even matter that Cave could not dance; damn it, he worked those pinstriped trousers like a true one. And all the while, time floated by unnoticed. As well as a smattering of tunes from his critically-acclaimed latest album, 'Dig, Lazarus, Dig!', virtually all of Cave's albums were represented in this two hour fun-fest. From gutsy guitar-fuelled songs like 'Get Ready For Love' to the melodic and meaningful piano ballad Into My Arms, these possibly-mad musicians encapsulated eclecticism before our very eyes and ears. There is no such thing as ‘boring’ in Cave’s world.

And speaking of caves, Nick’s trusty partner in crime, Warren Ellis, looked very much like he had just emerged from one. Sporting a positively Rasputin-esque beard, and some devilish musical skills to match, Ellis was at one point rolling around on the floor in order to access the several musical sampling devices he had about him, including an electric violin and a kid-sized Fender strat. Nick Cave entertained the audience with sincerity and good-humour, obliging numerous requests and delivering two generous encores. This wholly satisfying sell-out show only proves that Cave and cohorts are true masters of both music-making and crowd-pleasing. Alas, why must wonderful dreams ever end? Well, as Cave would say: “Prolix! Prolix! Nothing a pair of scissors can’t fix…”

the ting tings leeds cockpit 25-05-08

slow club nasty fest, leeds faversham

he Ting Tings certainly make a lot of noise for a duo. Perceptively described as “unmissable” in this very newspaper, their live act crackles with a Technicolor vibrancy that their records generally fail to capture (unless they’re set to a dancing silhouette shaking an iPod, that is).

ALEX CRICK AND LISA MORRIS

Bright lights, big drums and a barrage of handclaps force the audience to get moving as stuttering pop licks swirl around the room. Critics may call the reliance on stomp-boxes and samples a bit of a cop-out - a consequence of the mismatch between multi-layered melodies and the understaffed stage – but it’s difficult to get bogged down in the technical details over the course of ten songs when you’re so enthralled with the performers. Katie White, whose identity innocent radio listeners have been relentlessly castigated for forgetting with the chart-topping ‘That’s Not My Name’, is largely responsible. Her beguiling presence, combining rock star swagger with a very short dress, make you completely forget her poor bandmate Jules de Martino. Afterwards you’re left with a pang of guilt when you realise that, away from most of the simple vocals and some lackadaisical chord strumming, he’s the true architect of the tightest rhythms and punchiest hooks.And yet you barely looked at him the whole time, because White is standing on a speaker, writhing with her Stratocaster.

ALEX RICHMAN

17-05-08

BROKEN SOCIAL SCENE

pproaching the Faversham, I knew all was not well. The sea of checked shirts outside the venue (I counted twelve) suggested the sort of wearying trendy uniformity that you come to expect on an “indie” night out in Leeds. Slow Club, of course, were not part of this trendy-trendy gang. Having already released ‘Me and You’ and ‘Because We Are Dead’ as singles, and with their debut album out later this year, Slow Club seemed to be feeling the stress. Yawning from ferocious gigging, Becky and Charles look like they might pass out from exhaustion. Like children on a sugar comedown, the rush of performing tonight is clearly one sherbet dip-dab too many, as they both yawn and hysterically giggle their way through the set. Their lively but twee sound is the same as ever, but the magic is slightly lacking as they both look like they could do with a nap. Perhaps the fact that they felt that they had been touring up and down the country playing to identikit audiences was the problem; with no-one dancing to their very danceable music, it was probably just another gig for Slow Club. The difference between tonight’s too-cool-to-dance, plaid-shirt-based crowd and last night’s too-coolto-dance, plaid-shirt-based crowd was probably minimal. Sucks for Leeds.

HELEN NIANIAS

sheffield leadmill

21-05-08

roken Social Scene look an odd bunch. A supergroup of truly epic proportions, including, when at “full capacity”, members of Stars, Do Make Say Think, and about a dozen other bands (including up-and-coming songstress Feist). Despite our initial disappointment at there being only eight rather than nineteen band members on tour, their stage presence was nevertheless technicolour in both sound and appearance. Fresh from an ATP gig, their mixture of jazzy funk and eclectic instrument-bashing soon had the smoke-filled Leadmill mesmerised. At one point they broke into a spontaneous cover of 'Summer of ‘69', which worked surprisingly well. For almost two hours we were treated to blissful brassy perfection, sumptuously addictive (and occasionally filthy) vocals, and plenty of punchy percussion. You would hardly have guessed that they had no sound-check. On tour supporting core member Brendan Canning’s solo album, the rabble of Canadian multi-instrumentalists played a number of songs from this album and their varied back-catalogue. The lack of an encore (seemingly a feature of the Sheffield music scene, or maybe I’m just unlucky) was made up for by a rather bizarre yet truly inspired rant by lead-singer Kevin Drew about the state of the world and how we all need more love! Much cheering ensued and we left, brimming with just enough happiness to endure a hugely drawn-out coach journey back to York with a bunch of raucously triumphant Man Utd. fans.

ANNE CLARK AND ALEX JONES

INTERVIEW

MUSIC

FILM

BOOKS

CULTURE

LISTINGS

pendulum : new album nightmares

LIVE

ibrations from the speakers shake my body, merging with the tingling sensations rushing along my spine. Lightsabers of UV beams slice the billowing smoke into tessellating patterns. Groomed musical souls hush and sip overpriced Magners. A lone competition winner, I stand amongst the ‘people in the know’ invited to the private launch of Pendulum's latest album, ‘In Silico,’ in the slick wrappings of London’s Fabric nightclub. As the Australian music idols stroll on stage they are greeted with a roar of anticipatory applause. They reply with an electronic fizz of jungle drums, battling the manic screams of the audience with a smorgasbord of rock guitar and d’n’b rhythms, forcing a mongrel mix of dance upon their mosh-pit of equally diverse fans, united togeth-

er in worship. “Thou shalt not stop likin’ a band just ‘cause they’ve become popular” cried the compere, at least five times in preparation for Pendulum’s onset, echoing one of the lyrics from Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip’s hit ‘Thou Shall Always Kill’. With their debut album, ‘Hold Your Colour’ selling over 200,000 copies it is not surprising that Pendulum are making headway in the popularity stakes. Yet while the most devoted fans squabble between genres; whether they’re Gods of rock, or Deities of drum and bass, others discard them as overrated sell-outs. A definite edge of desperation can be sensed in the compere’s repeated plea. Whoever has tracked Pendulum’s growing success since their first single will find it impossible to deny a radical change in style. Kerrang described their crossover quality as an “appeal that will make them superstars” but such fame has polluted their music, inviting uninspiring, angst ridden melodies to litter their songs. Their full downfall is revealed in the tragically predictable rock music video of their top ten hit ‘Propane Nightmares,’ which will drive even the most diehard fan to depression. The black clad, miserable musicians can be seen in their own bad dream of crosses and candles, we can only pray for their salvation. Like most other notoriously difficult second albums ‘In Silico’ fails to live up to the glory of its predecessor, and the slander it’s received is not just the fruit of purist d’n’b fans raging because their band decided to branch out, by all standards it’s poor. The opener, ‘Showdown’, is an epileptic fit of wild synths and raging beats, no doubt destined to be blasted from the modified Ford Escorts of pill-popping boy racers, that said it’s a trip on

andy burrows

GEORGINA HESLINGTON

joy division

the colour of my dreams

the Best of

OUT NOW

ndy Burrows is nice. Really nice. So nice he’s written an album of acoustic songs with lyrics by his childhood friend and is giving the proceeds to charity. How nice. But does being nice allow you to write a decent album? I’ll be honest: no. Since when has anyone wanted to listen to nursery rhymes in the form of radio advertisements? Sure, Burrows has got an ear for melody, but the sugary sweet sentimentality and music that is irritating to the point of dreaming about slapping the man. Unfortunately, he would probably thank you for giving him colour in his cheeks... bloody Christian. To be fair, poems written from a child’s perspective and covering themes such as a teacher leaving can hardly be expected to be anything but simple and innocent. The title track manages to be charming in its naivety, lines such as “they say that I’m dyslexic thats a word they’ve just found out” have an innocent logic that makes sense. The rest however are bland and annoying. ‘Cuddle’ is the worst and will soon be found sound tracking Pampers adverts. Swap 'cuddle' for 'nappy' in “I’d rather have a cuddle, than ketchup, chips or peas; computers can be lovely, but a cuddle is what I need” and Burrows will be wiping his arse with £50 notes. When Johnny Borrell gets bored of performing with mere mortals, Andy Burrows has shrewdly set himself up for a fall back job in advertising. And if that doesn’t work out, he’d make a great Scout leader. A really nice one.

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ecstasy compared with some of the following numbers. Their second track is anything but ‘Different’ from the synthesised squawking of amateurs trying to drown the sound of their own bad dance. The processed alien voices persist through the mediocre ‘Visions’ whose only redeeming feature is to masque the dire nature of the lyrics, that once understood in ‘The Other Side’ will mercilessly drag you “through the gates of hell.” The shaky bass of ‘Mutiny’ will induce a nightmare of clownstep most suited as a musical accompaniment to a killing spree by Stephen King's razor toothed joker ‘It.’ 9000 miles induces the kind of boredom one would feel in a car journey of such a distance, and though ‘Granite’ feels like a hypnotic trip around a runaway ghost train, there is a reminder of Pendulum's former potential in the rollercoaster of reverberations. Despite the disenchantment we may feel with these fallen angels of drum and bass, Pendulum’s progression to the darker side of the music world may be more accurately construed as a return to their roots, than a soul selling abandonment of their former sounds, for the big bucks of mass produced music. After all, Rob Swire and Gareth McGrillen, the founding members of Pendulum, first united playing in heavy metal bands in high school in Perth, Australia.As a live outfit, Pendulum are a force to be reckoned with, and though a gig is strongly recommended, if you hold your breath for a third album to knock you unconscious in the way 'Hold Your Colour' did, asphyxiation may well be your only method.

JAMES NORTON

ntitled 'The Best of Joy Division’, this compilation features about ten minutes of recording that hasn’t already been released at least three times. As far as the actual music goes, Joy Division are Joy Division; they’re characteristically consistent and consistently characterised into this depressing and hypnotic feel that is noted in more or less every song they have ever written (Sorrow Multiplication?!). I don’t really need to tell you about what the band do, or how they do it well. They are Joy Division – iconic, influential and a whole other set of such superlatives that have been associated with them for nearly three decades. The first of the 2 discs features 14 songs we definitely all know, and nearly all definitely think are “alright” (empirically proven). The second disc finds Joy Division’s Peel Sessions, a recording of 8 songs, most of which are in their original form in the first disc. Without meaning to shock anyone to some form of paralysis, yes they are all still pretty good. The two tracks following are recorded off the band’s showing at 'Something Else' and showcase a rawer live edge to the tracks. Finishing off the second disc is a 3 minute or so interview of Ian Curtis and Stephen Morris conducted by Richard Skinner that contains more or less nothing that leaves an impression, but the novelty factor is there. Cutting it down to the bones I’d have to say 'yes', it’s good music but it’s probably unnecessary for anyone other than people who like owning the same thing in a variety of colours.

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JEROME JOSY

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FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS- OUT NOW

here are many common pitfalls for comedy acts; Weird Al Yankovich is too in-your-face irritating, The Mighty Boosh are too bizarre, and The Kooks are just one big joke. Fusing comedy with music is a fine art and it is often easy to become a novelty, take the money, and wander down the path of obscurity. ‘New Zealand’s fourth most popular folk parody duo’ Flight Of The Conchords however are a lesson in how to do it the right way. Taking songs from their award-winning musical sitcom of the same name, Bret Mckenzie and Jemaine Clement have created an album of hilarious parodies. From sixties psychedelia to future sounds, Marvin Gaye to Prince, and early Bowie to late Bowie; music from across the decades receives a Conchords makeover. Bret and Jemaine have mastered the art of parody and infuse their own style of comedy into almost flawless interpretations. The duo’s intelligent lyrics demonstrates their sharp observational skills, “theres nothing on tv...perfect conditions for making love” (Business Time), and their observant understanding of genre stereotypes, for example ‘Hiphopopotamus Vs. Rhymenoceros's misogynistic but repentant rap “sometimes my lyrics are sexist, but you lovely bitches know, should know I’m trying to correct this”. The album is jam-packed with laugh-out-loud lines, but to get the full Bret and Jemaine experience you need to see the facial expressions, the context, and the spoof music videos. Unlike Tenacious D, who are adequate musically in their own right, the Conchords don’t quite have the tunes, musically speaking, to merit just audio. A solid album overall; consistently funny and subtle enough to want to listen again, but save your money and watch it on Youtube.

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LISTINGS

Joseph McDermott Sons & Daughters 'This Gift' OUT NOW Glaswegian rock outfit Sons & Daughters provide a much needed counter-point to the plethora of limp indie pop which is slowly filling up the shelves of record stores everywhere. Beginning with a fantastic vocal duel accompanied by spiky staccato riffs this release reacquaints the listener with good old fashioned hard rock. With this strong track emerging from an equally strong album Sons & Daughters are certainly ones to watch out for in future..

Vincent Vincent and the Villains 'Beast'

. 'Beast' marks Vincent Vincent and the Villains as one of the most original bands out there. Taking eclecticism to a whole level with their surprisingly effortless fusion of everything from bluegrass licks to flamenco horns the band defies any critic to define their sound. The appeal of the song is underpinned by the rock and roll allure of wickedly named front man Vincent Vincent as well as the explosive musical blend provided by his band The Villains. This record is stylish, original, chic and absolutely unforgettable. .

The Kooks 'Shine On' 10/03/08

santogold

crystal castles

santogold OUT NOW

very now and then, when your ipod is stale and naturally when one just resorts to the Manics on repeat, a song will give you a huge musical, metaphorical slap in the face. It was with a resigned shrug and a worry that I was destined for eternal damnation by the musical gods, that I listened to Jo Whiley one horribly dull morning. So whilst turning the volume down every time she spoke and probably during most songs aswell, I was caught full on by that slap, in the slender shape of Santogold’s ‘L.E.S Artistes’. Sounding like Karen O fronting The Cure , my jaw was on the floor. So the question is does the New York hip hop scenester’s debut album replicate the exhilarating standards set by its lead single. As Raef (of apprentice fame) would have said, this is no time for hyperbole, this album isn’t going to change your life. However it is an outrageously joyous listening experience, straddling indie, hip hop, and even bubblegum pop, this is the sound of an artist going outside her comfort zone with magnificently original results. Santogold is first and foremost a hip hop album, and tracks like ‘Shove it’ and ‘ Starstruck’ are M. I. A-like in their tribal ingenuity. But it is when Santogold breaks the boundaries of a largely stale genre, that she is truly elevated above her contemporaries. This is shown to most devastating effect on ‘You’ll Find a Way” and the Blondie-esque punk of ‘Say A- Ha’. An album as original as this is the most potent remedy against that stale Ipod, its fresh, its unique and its one of the best to be released this year.

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MIKE REGAN

crystal castles out now

ust because you like Crystal Castles’ debut album, doesn’t mean you need to pop pills and pull out the glow sticks, nice neon skinny jeans and your favourite shiny jacket with the hoody underneath. It just means that maybe you should fall in love, fall out of love, then go a bit mad to songs like ‘Love and Caring’ and the tragic thuds of ‘Courtship Dating’. Then calm down again by ‘Tell Me What to Swallow’, what could be mistaken for a solemn Snow Patrol cover. And finally, realise the garish goodness of the album you’ve just listened to. The album is a build-up of beeps and outright dangerous disco tragedy. ‘Untrust Us’ sounds like a mixture of monks chanting and beautiful pacman-style symphonies all in one. Building up to ‘Alice Practice’, the sound of a heart shattering against the flurescent finesse of a techno daydream. Crystal Castles do best when they’re packing in the punk with the bleeping bop-bip beats in their brightly coloured cardboard box of disco. ‘Xxzxcuzz me’ and 'Air War' stand out, and they only have a couple of bland tunes like ‘Good Times’. The Toronto-based pair could be seen as another ‘them that were in skins once’ bands. But they’re not all that pretentious… well a bit… but that’s missing the point. You should just dance, that is all.

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HOLLIE PRICE

The Kooks have been at the front of the indie scene for the past three years and it seems a shame that their latest offering should be as indifferent and dull as any of the countless imitators they have spawned. ‘Shine On’ displays barely a shadow of the charisma and charm of anything from ‘Inside In/ Inside Out’ and its manufactured and soulless feel is instead simply a sad reflection on an industry where profit is often put far ahead of creative integrity.

Coldplay

'Violet Hill' OUT NOW

The return of Coldplay is unsurprising, heralded by a dark chord progression escorted along by the sober, gloomy lyrics of Chris Martin and although this is very much an indication of the track to come it is by no means a bad thing. The use of crashing piano and a beautiful minor-key vocal melody give appropriate weight to the song’s predictably bleak themes of religion, suffering and the horrors of our society. Although this is a good effort, it is unlikely to make the inevitable Greatest Hits album.

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♥ THE WHIP

VISION

JOSEPH MCDERMOTT AND HOLLIE PRICE TELL YOU WHY: Despite all the touring and the parties, deep down they’re just nice, clean lads from Manchester.

piece, they’ve got culture 'n' all.

Just back from a hectic hometown gig, The Whip still manage to retain their high standards of good looks and cleanliness. Leadsinger Bruce: “Touring ’s brilliant, we’ve been partying quite hard though... the tour ’s just starting to take its toll really but this one’s struggling,” he says of bassist Nathan. “I went to bed at 8 this morning, my hair’s gone crazy, it’s usually better”. Nothing like standards.“Course I’ve had a shower... I have a shower everyday,” as they say cleanliness is next to godliness.

They provide a good day out for all the family... ummm definitely.

They’re the NEW New Order (but don’t say it to their faces).

They’re not called Nylon Pylon anymore. And that’s a good reason in itself really.

Having been compared to similar Mancunian dance-rock group New Order the band is becoming heartily sick of this comparison:“it gets done quite a bit. There’s only a couple of things we’ve done that sound like New Order. People only say that because we’re from Manchester. We just try and sound different. It’s like a melting pot of sound.” The Whip have no undue sense of grandeur and if they had to write their own reviews they just want to be known as “nice, smart chaps... nice people who play music that’s actually ok and it’s fun to dance to”.

They love animals.

The band’s fans are a “real mixed bag”. There’s the middle-aged Kraftwerk fans to the 14-year-old Technicolor Crystal Castles crew at every gig. ”We seem to attract the whole family, it’s like a nice family day out for The Whip. Bring your Dad, bring your Mam… nah actually, don’t bring your Mam and Dad”. It’s disco’s equivalent to a picnic in the park with your parents.

The band has changed a lot since the early days of Nylon Pylon; the addition of Nathan as bassist and Fee as drummer has done wonders for the band. “We definitely have a different approach now. We’re just feeling lucky about our second chance. It’s all about gratitude, not attitude” The whole music scene ’s just got nice and friendly for The Whip: “bands used to try and be twats but now it’s all friendly, they’re all nice guys”. From meeting Crystal Castles in a Tokyo lift to Foals drummer in a snowboarding queue, the band are running with the right kind of crowds these days.

The Whip are the Dr. Dolittles of the electro-pop world and, aside from a few strange urges to hear the sound of seagulls frying on electricity power cables (“I imagine it’s quite a good electrifying kind of sound... sizzling”), they love all creatures great and small. Their upcoming tour of Australia sees the band playing in Brisbane Zoo (or possibly Zoo Club in Brisbane no-one 's quite sure). “If we play a zoo we’ll tell you, we’d be in the penguin enclosure..I like penguins a lot. You can quote me on that: Nathan likes penguins.” Remember folks, you heard it here first - another Vision exclusive!

But there are heavier things on the horizon.

They’ll bring a little bit of European Culture to our drizzly British lives.

Like everyone else in England, they’re looking forward to summer.

This band have a touch of class and sophistication that no other band on today’s electro music scene can rival. From Italian techno duo, The Bloody Beetroots, to French techno band The Shoes to bountiful backstage buffets of meat and cheese, The Whip are influenced by all things continental and refined. This is no ordinary electro-pop powered four-

Their new album ‘Metal Law’ looks set to “be tough as old boots, but still soft and fluffy as well”, which sounds like a bit of departure from their disco dancing single ‘Blackout’ from their current album ‘X Marks Destination’. It’s “probably a bit harder, tougher sounding…it’s not even written yet but we’ve got the title. Do you reckon it’s ok if we have a song on the album called ‘Sweat Music’?” Ummm... maybe. But the rest of it sounds alright anyway. With Reading and Leeds on the agenda, The Whip’s summer looks packed with tents, camp-fires and pimms. “We’ve done gigs to death so it’s nice to look forward to the smell of cud, the smell of mud and the smell of crud, all of which you find in a festival field.” And their favourite part of the festivals? “Crud!”

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From Vegas to Vision Andrew Nichols

chats with the director of Leaving Las Vegas Mike Figgis:

Top 10 Summer Blockbusters As the dreary days of winter fade away along with all of those grim Academy Award winners, I can’t help but get excited for the season of superheroes, special effects, and of course, action, action, action! Here’s a list of some that you don’t (and some that you do) want to miss: IRON MAN: May 2nd. Fast cars. Big explosions. Really cool computerised gadgets. What more could you want? Be sure to stay for the scene after the credits.

ike Figgis went through the 90’s being labelled the next big thing, the directors early work won him critical acclaim with many award nominations, he is a previous nominee at Cannes, Venice, the Golden Globes and twice at the Oscars, however very much like his career he never converted and built on this early promise and is yet to make a winner. Vision caught up with him to discuss this as well as his great faith in youtube and Kate Moss' fitness. Figgis’ achievements can be put down to his philosophy of film, he feels film is “a universal debate, ultimately about life and death and how you deal with tragedy, a good film is one that touches people because they relate to it; art and film is there to anticipate and reflect one’s life”, this is clearly a recipe for film success, however Figgis expresses disappointment with the state of modern Hollywood, “it dilutes artistic vision, at its best it doesn’t and great films have been made, but corporate interests and now the importance is with the stock holders who own the studios, everything is based on market research and if you apply market research to film as though it was a commodity, you will lose the art”. It seems that with the amount of money involved in modern cinema, artistic and innovative directors such as Figgis are at risk and to make a film risking a lack of box office success is a risk not worth taking. Therefore after Figgis followed his success with the twice Oscar nominated Leaving Las Vegas and the acclaimed One Night Stand with less commercially successful films he soon fell out of favour in the cut and thrust of Hollywood. Figgis still has hope however, “Once in a while a film comes through that really touches people, if they have an option to see it, and that will always continue, I just think it’s harder to get through the net, the many filters”, he admits that making large commercial films can’t help but give him a “buzz” knowing that no matter where he goes people will have seen his film, “I’d be very happy making more commercial films if I could justify it to myself, it’s just my stomach turns a bit and life’s too short.” Mike’s love of music is evident in his

LISTINGS

SPEED RACER: MAY 9th. “Speed Racer” is a heavy dose of LSDtripping colour and seizure inducing scenes. Unfortunately, the visual effects are all it really has going for it. INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL: May 22nd. Harrison Ford is back, as - dare I say it? - a sexy sixty-year-old Indiana Jones. And this time he has an apprentice: teen heartthrob, Shia LaBeouf. Together, they go on an epic quest to obtain the Crystal Skull before those power-hungry Soviets can get their greasy, communist hands on it. Karen Allen also makes a reappearance as the feisty, loud-mouthed Marion Ravenwood of Raiders of the Lost Ark. THE INCREDIBLE HULK June 13th Released in 2003, “The Hulk” starring hunky/hulky Eric Bana was a giant green disaster. The 2008 “Incredible Hulk” has more potential; this time, Dr. Bruce Banner (played by Edward Norton) is up against a former soldier, Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth), who gains the power to become a rampaging Hulk himself. The result? Two Hulks smashing things and trying to kill each other with their bare hands. Who wouldn't enjoy that. films, many feature songs he has composed himself. Our conversation is no different, he enthuses about a recent David Gray concert he has seen, relieved that he is still the same man who he directed in the memorable video for Gray’s song Babylon, playing with the same energy as when he started. Figgis sees a parallel between film and music in that both should be about “energy and empathy” and don’t have to be technically great. In the same way he laments the regurgitation of ideas in both mediums, Working Title, he argues regurgitates the same tired cliché of Britain in its films in the same way Oasis were merely the nineties version of the Beatles. Figgis also feels the film industry would benefit from a structure more similar to music, now that the equipments to make film is available at affordable prices, there will be an explosion of film making, this is already evident on youtube, Figgis feels it’s only a matter of time before “people begin exploring it in terms of drama. It will organically find its own genre, it will kind of liven things up a little bit”. Figgis admits that he is “surprised more people haven’t just made their own cinema, get a projector and book a space, charge £3 to get in and take it to Manchester, Leeds and Newcastle for 3 weeks like you would with a theatre group or a band, that’s a way to go, everyone is trying to get into ‘the cinema’ and when you get down to it that’s just a room, and you can get the same effect for a few grand.” Away from the big screen Figgis has kept busy, “I’ve done lots of experimental things, and other people pick up on it.” Timecode, one of his more recent films was shot simultaneously by four film crews following four actors as they converge and interact, this is displayed as a 4- way split screen. The result is a

groundbreaking cinematic experiment that gives real depth to the characters and their journey, both physically and emotionally through the film. The creators of Split hit TV series ‘24’ have admitted that they got the inspiration for their short split screen sequences from Figgis’ film. Far from being bitter Figgis takes the ideas success on ‘24’ as reassuring that the public welcome innovation. In addition to this Figgis has been making ends meet by having the arduous job of directing Kate Moss in four mini dramas for lingerie company Agent Provocateur; when asked his opinion of her he said with a hint of happy reflection in his eye “she’s a real person and she is a regular person just chatting: funny, charming all the rest of it. What she is really good at is she really knows how the camera reads her. I’ve photographed her quite a lot and she is kind of brilliant, when you click she changes into something else and constantly gives you different images and versions of herself, lots of women are as beautiful as Kate but don’t have the talent, the reason she has survived so successfully is that she is unique.” It seems the same can be said for Mike Figgis, although in a semi self-inflicted exile from Hollywood and commercial film making he continues to create groundbreaking, exciting cinema, although perhaps sad that not as many people will get to see his work Figgis is consoled by the fact he is conveying his personal vision to the people who do manage to see his latest works.

CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN June 26th. The second out of the seven fantasy novel series, “Prince Caspian” is the newest Chronicles of Narnia release. The four Pevensie siblings return to Narnia, only to find it in ruins and controlled by the evil King Miraz. The children must fight to restore the throne to its rightful ruler, Prince Caspian. The film is packed with epic battles, stunning visual effects, and noble dialogue, promising to be better than the first. HANCOCK: July 2nd. Playing a tough, sarcastic, and misunderstood superhero, “Hancock” is full of funny quips, hot girls, and Will Smith alongside Jason Bateman. The film looks as though it changes from comical to melodramatically heroic towards the end; hopefully the comic will weigh out the dramatic until the end. HELLBOY II: August 22nd. Hellboy and his team are back to save the world from rebellious mythical creatures. The film is full of imaginative visual effects; it looks entertaining enough, even just to waste an hour and a half in an air-conditioned theatre. THE DARK KNIGHT: July 25th. Having waited three long years after the release of “Batman Begins,” Christopher Nolan gratifies Batman fans everywhere as Batman takes on the Joker. Heath Ledger sadly returns to the screen for the last time, playing the psychotic Joker with a frightening high-pitched laugh. Katie Holmes has been replaced by her look-alike, Maggie Gyllenhaal, who becomes enamoured of Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart), soon to become Two Face. Christian Bale looks as fit as ever, and continues to carry the Bruce Wayne/ Batman with his intensity. Bound to be the best film of the summer! THE MUMMY 3: August 8th. Brendon Fraser and his son venture to the Far-East where encounter the sorceress Zijuan (Michelle Yeoh) and are forced to fight the angrily reawakened Han Emperor (Jet Li) and his terra cotta army. Hopefully as exciting as the first (not the second).

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INDIANA JONES and the KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

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Director - steven spielberg

an Harrison Ford, a man who qualifies for a pension really do justice to the C role of Indiana Jones? Including the whip-cracking, the commie bashing and all the things we expect from our favourite archaeology professor. The answer is a resounding yes, Harrison is grizzled, rugged and the films references to his age in frequent jokes add to the charm of the reprising of the role. Similarly the film’s opening is a welcome reminder of the earlier Indiana Jones films, as Jones and his suspicious ally Mac (Ray Winstone) upset the odds in a fist fight and exhilarating escape from Russian soldiers in Area 51. The creative genius of Spielberg is evident in this opening sequence, culminating in Jones escaping from an atomic bomb test by hiding in a fridge, might seem slightly illogical as you read this but at the time it all seems to make a slightly twisted sense. However as the film progresses it veers from the traditional Indiana Jones formula of improbable events in a realistic framework and begins to rely on CGI effects which begin to make the plot seem ludicrous. The film almost seems to descend into a computer game, with several set piece chases, with little linkage or character growth; in the end these become repetitive and artificial, with little of the personal clashes of characters that made the earlier films so memorable. The film's finale will surprise and dismay in equal measure; which will remain a scar on the Indiana Jones franchise. In addition Spielberg and Lucas, experts on squeezing money out of film franchises use the film as a showcase for Shia LaBeouf ’s character who is clearly and disappointingly being lined up to continue once Harrison Ford finally hangs up his whip. Perhaps Indiana Jones’s Last Crusade really should have been exactly that.

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Andrew Nichols

IRON MAN

Sex and the City

Director - Michael Patrick King Labels and Love is what the TV version of

Sex and the City prided itself on, and fans will not be disappointed by the big screen version, in fact the first half hour is so full of product placement it is almost like an extended Vogue photoshoot. However the love is still there and that is what, despite all the gloss and shoes made the TV so hugely popular, the juxtaposition of the sometimes harsh realities of relationships in the twenty-first century and the fairy-tale romantic visions of the main characters. We pick up the characters four years from when we left them, although sex and shopping are still on the agenda, there is the obligatory sex scenes which gained little response from the audience ( except perhaps surprise that Samantha doesn’t feature in the raunchiest) in comparison to the satisfied gasps at some of the Manolo’s and Louis Vuitton on display. In addition to this we find an older quartet with a new focus. This is brought sharply and poignantly into focus by the presence of Charlotte’s adopted daughter at a one of the girl’s traditional brunch sex talks. The characters intimacy is expressed wonderfully through the script and some of the best moments come when they are left alone together to explore some of the films darker moments as their seemingly idyllic lives begin to unravel. Although a moving and entertaining tale the film does have the feel of watching five thirty minute episodes back to back, just in a cinema and the male characters are somehow distorted and seem to deviate from their loveable TV personalities solely to drive the plot forward.

Andrew Nichols

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Director - JON FAVREAU The first high-budget superhero film of the summer, “Iron Man” is action-packed with supersonic high-altitude chases, fast cars, and huge explosions. Robert Downey Jr. takes the screen as playboy Tony Stark, a genius billionaire who owns the largest and most advanced weaponsdealing company in America. After being captured by an Afghan terrorist group who mysteriously acquired Stark weaponry, Stark makes an explosive escape by double-crossing the head boss and creating an armoured suit instead of his infamous Jericho missile. He returns a changed man, bent on using his technology to fight evil instead of aiding it. Downey is fast-talking and sardonically entertaining, while Gwyneth Paltrow upholds her charming and levelheaded role as Pepper Potts. Combined with the magnetic Jeff Bridges (known best for his role as The Dude in “The Big Lebowski”), the cast is rich with talent. At times, mainly in between big explosions and chase scenes, which wasn’t very often, I became sceptical: Would the terrorists really not notice that Stark was building a massive armoured suit right in front of their eyes? Could he really build it out of junky missile parts hidden in a terrorist base camp? And how can he possibly move with such a clunky-looking suit? But then I realized that I was watching a superhero movie instead of a kidnapped prisoner drama, and thoroughly enjoyed the rest. If you’re looking to kick off the summer with a fun, entertaining movie where you don’t have to pay too much attention to the plot, then “Iron Man” delivers it, over the sweet sounds of AC/DC. Alison Kjeldgaard

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teleVISION

contestants... ready! nominations... ready! It's the 137th annual teleVISION awards. Scott Bryan looks back at a golden age of drama, a reasonably good age of reality shows and a shit age of everything else...

...TURN OFF BRITISH COMEDY AWARDSAfter a hiatus due to a phone scandal, the British Comedy Awards on ITV1 will be back this Christmas. Jonathon Ross will be presenting the programme with a ‘fresh’ new look in a ‘fresh’ new format on a Saturday night. It’s all nice to see that the show is back and all, but I have to admit… it hasn’t been missed that much has it?

As we start to make plans for the summer, as well as desperately look for jobs in order to fill up the rent for the summer holidays, it's a good time to look back at a hell of a year in the world of TV. Enjoy. Most pointless rebrand of 2007/2008: BBC NEWS. Changing the name of BBC Ten O’Clock News to BBC News at Ten. Changing the name of BBC NEWS 24 to BBC NEWS CHANNEL. And having peach shaped swirls in their logo and a cleaner studio background. Nothing else. Overall cost: £550,000. Drama of the Year: Without a shadow of a doubt, The No 1 Ladies Detective Agency. Shown on Easter Sunday, this beautifully directed and acted show is what Sunday evening dramas are suppose to be about. It was engaging and enjoyable to watch, topped off with the fact that another series will be made and shown next year. Also nominated under this category is the love-it-or-hate-it Skins, which you have to say is so much more entertaining and moving than the first series. It also had one of the finest last episodes that there can be. Well done E4. Programmes of the year that improved ITV’s reputation: News At Ten, Harry Hill and er... that’s it. Oh and Britain’s Got Talent... probably. Programmes of the year that did not improve ITV’s reputation: Well... Headcases, Flood, Secret Diary of a Call Girl, Midnight Man, The British Soap Awards, The Duchess in Hull, The Jeremy Kyle Show, Pushing Daises, Teenage Kicks, All Star Mr & Mrs, Primeval, Echo Beach, Too Fat to Toddle, Katie & Peter: The Next Chapter (list continues next issue...) Programme believed to be rubbish but then turned out to be quite good: Doctor Who with Donna. People thought that the reintroduction of the over the top ‘Am I bovvered...’ actress would see the credibility of the show fall, but actually, she turned out okay. There’s only roughly three minutes of the show that I unhesistantly cringe when she overreacts. Compared to the Doctor Who Christmas Episode two years back this is some achievement.

British song a turkey itself and the crude and bitterness of Wogan’s commentary as always. Don’t leave Wogan. Without you, this show is more than nothing. Programme of the year that Sky One bought just at its peak of popularity and is now a flop: Gladiators. It used to be a great programme when we were 8, but then again if you think about it any programme when you were 8 you believed to be fantastic. Now though its another piece of hyped up crap only found on digital television. Last year's winner: Lost. Previous winners: 24, The Simpsons. Schedule f*** up of the year- Pushing Daisies by ITV1. You buy 9 episodes of a successful US programme to put on ITV. You raise massive publicity of the show, spend thousands of pounds in adverts and spend millions purchasing the series itself. Then... an issue. Euro 2008 starts in 8 weeks when you have 9 episodes. What would you do? Would you have a double episode one week, or start the show a week early? Yes? Good, you have logic. ITV schedulers instead decided to skip out the ENTIRE second episode from the series thinking 'Oh well, no one will care'. Result: Show makes little sense, people are angry and the ratings flop. Well done ITV1. So there we go. That's the first part of the TV review. This is a two-parter thing, ending with the final edition of the year in Week 10, so please send me your own award categories with your winners (or losers) to tv@yorkvision.co.uk by week nine. The more creative the better.

PROGRAMMES OF THE YEAR THAT IMPROVED ITV'S REPUTATION: NEWS AT TEN, HARRY HILL AND ER... THAT'S IT.

Best TV Reality Show: Two that have been primed for this year: The Apprentice and Eurovision. I agree, different programme quality put side by side, but they have both been superb to watch and at times, just as cringy. Moments include Michael in The Apprentice attempting to purchase kosher chicken from a Muslim food market in Marrakech, Margaret’s facial expression when Michael screamed that he had won a task, Lucinda in any moments of having a tantrum, Nicholas De Lacy Prick and on the Eurovision side, the Irish turkey song, the

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ITV CHAT- Piers Morgan, Britain’s Got Talent pundit and shamed ex-Mirror editor, has signed a two year deal with ITV1 reported to be worth £2 million. He will be fronting a new chat show for the programme as well as presenting future landmark programmes and documentaries. But why? Has Pier’s Morgan got talent? There’s quite a lot of evidence to prove not, especially when £2 million is in play.

Oh and as this is a TV column I guess I have to state what shows to watch this week. Two words: The Apprentice. Job done. Now pub.

THIS WEEK ON NEIGHBOURS (ON CHANNEL FIVE!)

Lou is in crisis. Paul struggles to keep a secret and Harold receives a blessing before he leaves Ramsay Street! Todie fears that he will never be a father, Oliver meanwhile announces custody of Chloe and Lou then moves in with the Parkers. Remember you can now watch Neighbours on Five at 1.45 and 5.45 every weekday, followed by a new omnibus on Saturday's at 12. Do you still watch Neighbours? Is it worth reporting on? Or is there another soap we should analyse each issue? Send your feedback to tv@yorkvision.co.uk.

What the Papers Say- Britain’s second longest running television programme, has been axed. The popular witty Saturday afternoon paper review has been running nearly continuously for the last 52 years, but has been losing figures ever since the BBC started to shove it round the schedules. It then does the trick of stating that nobody watches the programme anymore, thus giving an excuse to axe it. I know that not everyone has heard about it, but it’s been a little afternoon gem with a large fanbase and will be missed. Expect the slot to be filled with repeats of Last of the Summer Wine and ‘Allo ‘Allo. SCOTT BRYAN

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Continuing on last week's theme KELLY HOLT talks about her passion for George Orwell...

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Orwell and Me

here is something wonderfully British about George Orwell. From his dystopic vision of London in 1984, with its climate of terror and mistrust, endless pointless wars, forced exercise, government sanctioned relationships and bad food, ruled over by the ever watchful figure of Big Brother, to the hopeless cynicism of Keep the Aspidistra Flying. Clearly it seems that Orwell taps into fears that as a nation we are truly terrified of- perhaps because we know that things could well turn out that way. You only need to think of the abundance of CCTV cameras, the excessive consumption of microwave meals and takeaways, recent military action in Afghanistan and Iraq, not to mention government policies such as the smoking ban, and obesity checks in schools, to realise that Britain in 2008 is perhaps not quite so different from Orwell’s nightmarish vision of 1984. And yet strangely, this Orwellian cynicism has bred in me a ridiculous amount of national pride. I, like most other people in this country, like to moan about the weather, politicians, expound over my fourth pint about the nanny state and the ridiculousness of the smoking ban, and I’m rabid on the issue of Iraq, yet I take a perverse pleasure in this uniquely British whining. A feeling that stems from around the time when I first began reading Orwell, and realised that what his novels suggest is not simply that we are in danger of becoming oppressed by a totalitarian dictatorship, but that there is enough in this country to be proud of that such a future as described in 1984, would be something to truly fear. Like me, Orwell does like to moan. In Down and Out in Paris and London, his memoirs of his time spent penniless and hungry, funnily enough, in Paris and London, Orwell details in minuscule description the nights spent sleeping in filthy Parisian bedsits, in doss houses in central London, and often on park benches. My own experience of doss houses and flea ridden bedsits is thankfully minimal, not counting the last 8 months spent in Goodricke D Block (although I did once sleep rough for a week in Barcelona), so to say that that aspect of this novel inspired me would be ridiculous. What is truly memorable though, is the way in which through all of his hardships, he maintains his spirit. One especially inspirational quote being, ‘You have talked so often of going to the dogs- and well, here are the dogs, and you have reached them, and you can stand it. It takes off a lot of anxiety.’ This sentiment may be particularly inspirational for my fellow inmates of Goodricke blocks C and D but i have found it to be a peculiarly comforting sentiment; if George Orwell wasn’t worried about being hungry and homeless, why should I fuss that I can’t afford the latest cut of skinny jeans from Topshop? And perhaps the most practical advice or inspiration I have taken from George Orwell could be taken up by many of my fellow English students- his advice in ‘Politics and the English Langauge’- never to use a long word where a short one will do, and never to use a foreign, scientific or jargon word where there is an everyday English equivalent. Students take heed; this is advice from one of the most respected of British novelists, so safe to say that it is probably worth listening to. Rather than thoroughly thesaurus my essays so that they resemble the dried saliva of vocabulary on Stephen Fry’s face after a particularly nasty word vomit, I now keep it simple. Besides, people who use words like epithalamion, discourse analysis and vers de societe in seminars are usually tossers.

artin Amis' opposition to the blithe reductionism used to turn a sociopolitical cataclysm into a numerical catchphrase is unmistakable. Although in many countries 9/11 denotes November 9th, the abbreviation has been universally adopted, its glibness ensuring its prominence in even the most flippant of contexts. September 11th was not a self-contained occurrence and its culmination was not marked by the toppling of Manhattan’s skyline. Rather, ‘September 11th continues, with all its mystery, its instability, and its terrible dynamism.’ With an amble dose of grandiloquence Amis’ prose explores what he perceives terrorism and its concurrent political age to constitute. His musings, conveyed through a series of newspaper articles, reviews and short stories reveal a conviction that, far from being a confine of history, the September 11th locomotive powers on, manifested in indoctrination, training camps, torture, extraordinary rendition, ideological conflict and, most noticeably, Iraq. A few crude but devastating acts of terrorism suffuse the social, political and cultural contours of our present societies; their spectre looms over everything

he blurb for Anna Godbersen’s novel The Luxe promised me something undeniably epic, “The rich girl, the humble boy, the forbidden love, the stolen glances, the whispers, the scandal, the mystery, the revenge”. I have always been beguiled by bold print and therefore as I opened the first page I truly believed I was going to be thrown headlong into a 400 page literary journey of exhilaration, intrigue, and not just a smidgen of repressed but undeniable sexual tension. Indeed all the promised elements are present. Opening onto an opulent description of the funeral of Elizabeth Holland, glittering debutante at the forefront of society’s elite, the novel then retreats back several weeks to recount the various arguments, conspiracies and illicit liaisons leading to her premature demise. This unexpected beginning however is the only surprise you will be experiencing plot-wise. The eventual pairings that emerge from what can only be described as a love hexagon (triangle just doesn’t cut it) are not entirely unexpected and following the characters as they realise this for themselves is comforting rather than thrilling.

and is indivisibly attached to the here and now. But awareness that nothing is impervious to the September 11th pathogen is not tantamount to resignation or defeatism. Amis’ intention is merely to articulate a broader, deeper and more holistic definition of a tragedy in order for us to better understand and respond to it. Refreshingly, he does not find recourse to patronise his reader with hollow allusions to cultural relativism. Never does he exonerate the Islamist ideology by suggesting the inhumane behaviour of America and her proxies exclusively accounts for the actions of several angry, disillusioned, disaffected murderers. Without wishing to endorse the Iraq misadventure, or other American imperial follies before or after September 11th, Islamism is a doctrine that needs little provocation, other than apparent infidelity, to justify its human carnage. Sayyid Qutb, the father of Islamism, described western democracies as jahiliyyah (barbarous and benighted), believed them to be controlled by Jews, and inhabited by animals not fit for life. However, his fear of the Great Satan and its satellites was not predicated on the possibility of conquest or colonialism, he feared a more

The characters themselves are stock. The protagonist, Elizabeth is beautiful, demure, ever so slightly dull. The bitchy and poisonous best friend, Penelope, never quite as attitude-filled as you want her to be. The vibrant younger sister, Diane, wilful and stubborn. The ripped stable boy. The handsome cad. These characters remain strangely twodimensional throughout because there just aren’t enough pages to fully immerse yourself in their inner emotional workings when the narrational perspective is continually revolving. The publisher’s description of the novel as “Gossip Girl meets turn of the century New York City” is unerringly accurate and this is possibly where the novel fails to fully impress. The inner workings of an upper class elite is a concept that has over the past few years been well and truly covered. Watch Episode 4, Season 1 of The OC add in a couple of stable boys and marginally more elaborate dresses and you’ve saved yourself 400 pages of reading. I devoured the novel in minimal time, it’s true and it has to be said that as an English student continually used to examining and

insidious danger; western seduction. Of course the west is not a seducer; secularism, freedom and gender equality are attractions, not subterfuges intended to ensnare foreign cultures, but the misperception highlights the ingrained hatred of nations not striving towards the caliphate. The text, replete with warnings and recollections of how modern and destructive Islamism’s techniques and methods are, ends with the assertion that, at its core, it remains emotionally retrogressive. Extreme piety and nostalgia are given short shrift in the western world, but the horrors perpetrated by men consumed by such traits have not been seamlessly absorbed and filed away. September 11th and its followers may be backward looking and deluded, but their actions and dogma are marching hand in hand with the rest of us into the unknown realms of the future. For that reason Amis councils that we call that day and its subsequent events by their proper name and abandon the ‘triumphant and undeniable brevity’ that cheapens the enormity of 9/11.

HARRY PEARSE re-examining texts for purpose rather than pleasure The Luxe came sweeping into my life as a much needed respite. It falls undeniably into the Chicklit genre but does so knowingly and with its head held high. The main focus is indeed on guys, gossip and gowns, and fervent feminists may well be unimpressed and although I won’t be rushing out to buy the sequel (it is the first of a new series) I would borrow it off a friend if I felt like indulging in some comfort reading. Maybe I was expecting too much from a novel which information gleaned from Amazon tells me is infact aimed at Young Readers in the age bracket 14-upwards and therefore my expectations of gratuitous sexual encounters in barns were most probably never going to be fulfilled. It may not change your life, nor enlighten your mind but then I doubt it ever aimed to. It is enjoyable and on a rainy day with a pack of chocolate digestives next to you, it’s pretty much the perfect girly book.

JENNIFER KEOGH

MARTIN AMIS THE SECOND PLANE

£12.99 KNOPF PUBLISHING GROUP

Anna Godbersen The Luxe

£6.99 Penguin

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BEEN THERE... DUN-MORE

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How to dabble in Dunmore...

NAOMI LEVER gets nostalgic with Helen Dunmore...

ever, Dunmore strolls down an altogether different path. The author of some ten adult novels, Ah, nostalgia. Indulging in sickeningly including the acclaimed rose-tinted rhapsodies is a student trade- ‘A Spell of Winter’ and mark; dogs who resemble your chewed, ‘The Siege’, in addition one-armed teddy bear, the whiff of non- to several collections of microwaved meals that hint at the long- poetry and children’s lost elysium of mum’s cooking, and novels, the Bristol resieven, once dwelling outside the campus dent refuses to recline bubble, the hiss of a territorial goose. smugly upon her ivory But what of York’s alumni? Real, sensi- tower of modern clasble grown ups, with their student years sics. “I strongly believe that it is best not to look behind them? Orange Prize winning author back. The books are writHelen Dunmore studied English at York ten, they go out into the from 1970 to 1973, a time about which world and have to make she waxes lyrical. “It was a very politi- their own way there. cal and dynamic time at the university. They’re all quite clear There was also a lot of music - the sound in my mind, and I also of Pink Floyd seemed to ricochet off remember the scenes the walls all day long, the Kinks came that didn’t go into the and didn’t like it that everyone kept books. It always interyelling for Lola; Wings visited and peo- ests me when readers ple pretended to be cool and not notice tell me what they think Paul McCartney as he loped through of a novel or a poem Vanbrugh.” Of course these days Sir often they are frightenMacca is far too busy divorcing ex-mod- ingly acute. Like a lot of els and giving his offspring leg-ups in writers, I’m most deeply the fashion industry to deign to frequent concerned with what I’m the mayonnaise-filled Mondrian dining writing at this moment.” Indeed, this concenhall; but more has changed than just the calibre of visiting songsters. “The cam- trated focus is evident in pus has matured and developed since Dunmore’s entire oeuI was there: the trees have all grown, vre, in which atmosphere is conveyed so tautly and evoc- intensely familiar, and then suddenly quite "The campus has matured and develatively as to utterly over- strange to the twenty-first century reader, oped since I was there: the trees have all whelm her readers, almost to and even estranging.” grown, the geese have multiplied." the point of claustrophobia. By now, Dunmore must surely be familHer latest work, ‘Counting the iar with such a dichotomy: her first novel, Stars’ is no exception: set in the gossipthe geese have multiplied. However I ‘Zennor in Darkness’ was set in World-Warsuspect that the forthcoming expansion thronged streets and conspirators’ aloof vil- 1-era Cornwall and also featured a famous las of ancient Rome, it tells the tale of celis what will really change it and make it author lurking amongst its pages, D.H. less recognisable to early students.” So ebrated poet Catullus and his obsessive love Lawrence. Since that illustrious beginning for manipulative politician’s wife and sister Hes East and all its diabolical complica– it won the McKitterick Prize – she has tions can also be charged with the crime Clodia. Haunting, disturbing and always acer- dabbled frequently in history, from the Nazi bically intelligent, Dunmore’s novel brings to of ruining nostalgia and pleasant strolls life a literary figure largely unknown to a siege of Leningrad to the eerie isolation down memory lane. modern readership unacquainted with the of a decaying Edwardian country house to turbulent turn-of-the-century Finland. Her When it comes to her writing how- classics. “I’ve loved Catullus’ poetry since idiosyncratic fusion of politics and pasI first read it at school,” she enthus- sion thrums on the page; given her evident enthusiasm for writing historical novels es. Despite Catullus’ "I doubt if writers have natural habitats. For me writmodern anoing, like reading is an exploration rather than a reinforcenymity, she ment of what I already know." points out, “Although a great deal about his life is unknown, there’s plenty of evidence in his poems and interpreting events would suggest that about his temperament, his passions, perhaps the scope of this genre comprises his gift for invective and his brutal, her natural habitat as an author. Dunmore is sceptical when I suggest comic honesty about the world of Rome this. “I doubt if writers have natural habiin the years of the late Republic. He’s very funny, very engaging and intimate tats. For me writing, like reading, is an in the way he writes - it feels almost exploration rather than a reinforcement of like a conversation and yet at the same what I already know. It’s true that when I time it is technically brilliant. He is look back at the books I’ve written there are a great innovator and uses language certain patterns, but no doubt by the end of with extraordinary, fluid directness - his my career the pattern will have changed. I like the way the past talks to the present, poems never seem to date or age.” Yet while writing, her protagonist’s and feel strongly about letting the light of ability to communicate through the cen- the past shine on the present.” Nostalgia again? Or a lively engageturies almost became a hindrance as historical research and modern sensi- ment with what history has to offer? bilities inevitably clashed. “The most Dunmore treads a fine line between persondifficult thing is not to find out about al determination to look forwards and creathat period of Roman history - which tive fascination with looking backwards; a is reasonably well-documented - but to tricky tightrope, but one she crosses with enter into it imaginatively, so that the aplomb. characters are not people in togas with twenty-first century mental furniture. Their attitudes and assumptions can be

Her novels...

Her children's books...

Her poetry...

Her short stories...

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The Body Never Lies

Antonia Shaw takes a look at Langwith's art exhibition, on this week...

dynamic art exhibition has taken over Langwith’s Norman Rea Gallery. The student run show, themed “Art and the Human Body”, innovatively displays a mass of figurative work created by students and artists from the local community. Pieces vary from contemporary abstract works to controversial life casting and classic life drawing. Depictions of the body have been created for millennia, since we first turned our hand to art. Yet such works frequently spark stormy debates. Sex, sexuality, the role of the voyeur, feminist disputes, and questions of ideal physical beauty are synonymous

with portrayals of the human form. Whether subconscious or not, we are all lumbered with this ingrained mental baggage when viewing figurative works of art. Yet artists’ obsession with the figure has never tired. Perhaps this fascination stems from the fact that the body is common to all and to evoke its mystique in totality requires great skill. Simon Watkins, first year Art History Student, is one of the many exhibited artists. His “Untitled” charcoal nude, sensitively and realistically rendered, demonstrates the skills he acquired during his “really traditional classical foundation” in Italy. Watkins believes “drawing the human figure from life has always been a great challenge to artists, since it’s really obvious when something‘s not right”. Tobi , a York University PhD Student, has sculpted for over a year. He too seeks realism of the human body in the form of life castings. He freely admits that he lacks classical artistic talent. Sculpting plaster casts of the human form, which he likens to 3D photography, allows him to create the exact verisimilitude he strives for. Tobi states that “he wishes to show nature as it is, with all the imperfections and reflecting personalities.” Four of Tobi’s life castings are shown in the exhibition. His newest work “We Feed the World”, unveiled at the exhibition’s launch on Monday, marks his first foray into conceptual art “which triggers people’s mind to think”. It comprises 100 plaster cast nipples mounted onto black wood. Although this work may strike the viewer as overtly risqué, Tobi claims that people “always complain about nipples as sexual and pornographic but completely ignore the fact that they are also used to "nurture babies”. As his work may well stir controversy, he wishes to withhold his surname. Accompanying Watkins and Tobi’s art is a plethora of work in diverse mediums and styles. These have been sourced from students at York St John, York University and local practising artists who attend “The Art Space”. This eclectic collection displays

is york having a laugh? No more mopey Mondays for the students of York; because - drum roll please

- the Comedy Series is here! Three Mondays a term, at our very own Edge, a fine selection of professional funnymen from across the nation do their thing. Leaving you without need nor desire for yet another dull night down the Charles, or even, god forbid it, a quiet night in, the Comedy Series is doing its bit for the sanity of York’s student populace. And although Wentworth’s post-grads may not be known for their wacky sense of humour, it would be a crime to miss out on such an event due to the venue, especially when one considers that in any other comedy venue tickets would be upwards of a tenner. For us lucky things, it’s a mere £4.50. So, on the 19th May, 2008, dozens of brave students ventured across the lake for what was to be a magnificent evening. The snakebite was out in force, there was a definite air of tipsiness, and the comedy was to begin. With a noticeable avoidance of the seats nearest the stage (some just can’t take a bit of banter), our resident compare Dan Nightingale made his entrance. Nightingale, as a former student of Newcastle University, is au fait with student culture and proceeds to take the piddle out of us Yorkies for both our ‘intellectual’ reputation and our polite demeanour. Polite, in this context, is of course used as an insult. We are not the loudest bunch, we are told, and Nightingale encourages the heckles and cries that are so common in ‘normal’ comedy. But, we are at York, we are polite, and we do not oblige. This is a shame, as it is clear that all three performers struggled to evoke much of a response from their audience, and this left the evening with a distinct lack of sparkle.

traditional, creative and challenging interpretations of the figure. Photography is hung alongside abstract pieces, film and life drawing. Subject matter is occasionally controversial; a nude painting of a woman who has undergone a mastectomy is juxtaposed with that of a healthy young adult, raising questions of femininity and mortality. Attendees of the launch were offered the chance to seek inspiration and respond artistically to the exhibition on a creative wall and hanging piece. The viewer reacted to the displays, creating a lively, fresh work of art. The curators were very keen to get people actively involved in the show and this proved very successful. The team of students that curated the exhibition wanted to break free of normal hanging conventions. They aimed to create an experimental, free-flowing show that challenged the manner in which this gallery space had been used previously. The art is complimented by enlarged quotes from poetry and shadow motifs. Organising and setting up the exhibition was by no means an easy feat. The planning for this show started at the beginning of Spring term. The sourcing of art and the awarding of funding were particularly difficult, not to mention the hard, hands-on labour of physically mounting the displays. Nevertheless, the students involved greatly enjoyed their experience. Kirsty Dension admitted that “the project was very hard and frustrating at times. But I’m really pleased with the final result. I’m so proud of what we’ve all achieved”. Bethany Marett agreed and said “hearing people’s reactions was Simon Watkins' very rewarding”. charcoal drawing (above)

Zoe Stones reveals the latest campus comedy craze

Unfortunately, the compare, Nightingale, proved to be the star of the show; the other two comedians were disappointing. Seymour Mace is the typical eccentric comedian. With his Potter glasses and uneven facial hair, he himself jokes that you might recognise him – he’s the strange man standing outside your window. His performance was awash with energy and he was generally well received, but his self-effacing style soon became tiresome and actually somewhat unnerving. Sean Moran, not to be confused with the better known Dylan Moran, was a typical Joe Bloggs, and this down-to-earth humour had a definite appeal, but he was underconfident and lacked the charisma to hold the audience for what was a long set. The evening would have undoubtedly benefited from a third performer, but considering those of us on a budget, it is probably a priority to keep those ticket prices down. We made do, though, and waddling home after more than one Blackthorne, I was glad I’d spent my dosh on something that little bit different. Do you fancy a bit of a giggle? Think you could be that heckler that makes the evening? Look out for YUSU’s comedy night Monday week eight, coming to a post-graduate college bar near you!

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A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS

Anna Wormleighton talks to director Paul Shelley about the York Theatre Royal’s forthcoming production

“I know a man who wants to change his woman,” sounds

strangely like a line from Wife Swap. So it may be a surprise to hear that this is Thomas Cromwell speaking about King Henry VIII in one of the classic plays of all time. Robert Bolt’s A Man For All Seasons, largely famous for its legendary status film adaptation starring Paul Scofield, is arriving at the York Theatre Royal for two weeks in June. With Scofield starring first in the West End premiere of the play at what is now London’s Gielgud Theatre, Shelley makes it clear that the play’s greatness is independent of the movie’s success. “There’s no temptation whatsoever to associate with the film. It’s too good a play to have to bother with such a thing. "It was a play first anyway,” he remarks, and seeing the rehearsal it is clear that this piece does come to life in Shelley a theatre. Paul Shelley, who has acted with the RSC, the National Theatre, and in the West End, is now trying his hand at directing and, while he is modest about his experience in the role, it is clear that the cast are in capable hands. A Man For All Seasons recounts the true story of Sir Thomas More, set during the time when Henry VIII was seeking to divorce Catherine of Aragon (who could not bear him a son), with the intention of marrying Anne Boleyn. Sir Thomas kept his objections to the King’s requests quiet and discreetly resigned his position as Chancellor when he could no longer bring himself to support the monarch. His silence, however, was interpreted by the King to be a statement of disapproval, and More was even-

tually accused of treason. “It’s a wonderful play, and a wonderfully written play will always have relevance,” Shelley enthuses when asked how it is that such a historically-based play is still as popular today. “It’s about the individual against the state and that applies so much now – I think immediately of David Kelly, for example. More lives with his conscience, and it’s a play then that speaks to us at all times.” Yet when time is clearly tight for the cast, who only have a few weeks in total to rehearse, and the Deputy Stage Manager has only just arrived in the country this week, I ask Shelley whether working in the theatre can remain a passion. “When you get a play like this – yes. Absolutely,” Shelley answers decidedly. “But, you know, it’s a profession and you can’t always pick and choose. We have to make a living and we sometimes find ourselves doing the most extraordinary rubbish!” But with a set that he feels happy with, talented actors and fast progress being made in rehearsals, Shelley cannot hide his enthusiasm for the play, chirping: “This is a treat, though!” And it’ll undoubtedly be a treat for audiencin rehearsal es, too, with York Theatre Royal panto regular David Leonard playing the lead part of Sir Thomas More. Involving lavish Tudor costumes, a mix of humour and pathos, and great performances, it seems a concoction of all that’s good about theatre. “I defy this audience not to cry their eyes out. I defy them!” Shelley cries theatrically. It appears that, while Paul Shelley may have been getting too much into the mindset of a Tudor, there is great truth in what he says. A Man For All Seasons will be on at the York Theatre Royal from 7-28 June. Students only £5. Box Office (01904) 623 568

LISTINGS

WHAT NOT TO MISS THIS JUNE: Opera Soc’s first full-scale opera… 14 June @ 7.30pm + 15 June @ 2pm, Sir Jack Lyons Concert Hall. Two timeless and magical masterpieces – Britten’s The Little Sweep and Kurt Weill’s Down in the Valley – performed by aspiring operatic stars of York.

Verdi’s Requiem 18 June, 7.30pm, The Minster Join the University Symphony Orchestra and Choir for one of the most theatrical and large-scale requiems of all time, bringing the year’s concert series to a close. Best experienced in the Minster! Tickets £3 for students.

REVIEWS - OUR GUIDE TO THE HOTTEST TICKETS IN TOWN The Homecoming, Drama Soc

Patient Number One, York Theatre Royal

t’s a much-awaited entrance and one I don’t envy any actor having to make, because in Donald Freed’s new play, premiering at York Theatre Royal we all, quite frankly, want to see what George Bush is like one year down the line. In an elite psychiatric clinic in southern Florida, an aging doctor awaits the new arrival – George “Patient Number One” Bush – who is suffering from “poverty of speech” owing to an excessive course of medication. When Bush enters in a shapeless, vomit-coloured hospital gown, with a gait that is somewhere between a cowboy’s and a robot’s, we wonder how on earth Freed arrived at such a startling – and brilliant – concept for his play. In the presence of a thick, unquestioningly loyal secret service bodyguard, the doctor tries to get to the root of what drives the former president, using Yale nostalgia, President Reagan’s favourite candy and, finally, staging a “psycho-drama” in which Bush is dressed in his childhood cowboy outfit and forced to tell the truth. Patient Number One is an admirably dense play that merits more than one viewing. But Damian Cruden’s glistening production with a three-strong cast brings out the pathos behind the Texan’s plight, and the humour and frustration in the doctor’s search to find truth behind a compulsive, and currently dumb, liar. Jon Farris as the doctor has both a gentle, methodical patience as he embarks on various exercises with his patient to no avail, and a fierce authority as he violently shakes Bush claiming, “We will not torture you”. Robert Pickavance plays Bush with startling anguish – vacant eyes staring from his angular face, impatient lip-smacking, and jerky head movements that resemble a woodpecker’s as he stutters out a fruitless “p…p…p…”. Jonathan Race as the agent – a part that offers little in terms of dialogue and emotion – puts across the character’s stiffness which proves hard to break down when he must become a part in the cowboy psycho-drama. The production is largely brought to life through Jo Scotcher’s stunning set, featuring a sea-view and a veranda with flowers surrounding a colonial-style office. This is a production that feels decidedly Hitchcockian in its use of orchestral music to punctuate moments of high drama, and sophisticated, layered sound effects. But the power of watching such fine acting live in an intimate space, combined with the intellectual intensity and lyricism of Freed’s script, makes this an unrivalled experience which both British and American producers hopefully will spot.

Anna Wormleighton

Spirit of the Dance 3-7 June, Grand Theatre Leeds. The 10th anniversary tour of one of the most successful shows to come out of Ireland, blending Irish dance with other world influences and stirring music.

arold Pinter’s The Homecoming is now over forty years old, yet the study of power relations within the stagnant, patriarchal family it depicts is still deeply disturbing. Sally Daniels’ direction of this comedy of menace reveals the dingy interior of the London home as a smoky, barren den of warped masculinity, with the all-male household trapped in a constant battle for power. Alex Forsyth’s Max, paterfamilias, is an ugly-minded, deeply troubled man, bestowing affection and violence alike to lower-order members of the family, while struggling for pre-eminence with son Lenny, whose insufferable smugness, sarcasm and menace is capably portrayed by Jonathan Kerridge-Phipps. Tom Ellis as chipper youngest son Joey and James Quelch as Max’s seemingly asexual brother Sam complete the family. It is the visit home of philosopher lecturer and eldest son Teddy (Ned Roberts) and wife Ruth (Victoria Lloyd) which sets the stagnant household in motion as the unexpected addition of a woman sets the men off-balance in a struggle to keep her as housewife and whore. Ruth is the supercilious and manipulative femme fatale, whose seeming complicity in the family’s plans to ‘keep’ her must of course be read against her ability to make her own calculated demands. Victoria Lloyd’s Ruth highlights the ambiguity of this empowerment. Her clothes and high-heeled shoes, markers of her erotic power over the men, seem emblems of the perverse feminine: powerful in one sense but A Clockwork Orange making her unsteady on her feet. Her legs tremble, and later, after 19-21 June, 7.45pm all nights + her antics with Lenny and younger brother Joey, her lips tremble too. Saturday 2pm, York Theatre Royal Ruth chooses to stay in the all male household, which seems to offer studio. her power, but the empowerment she stands to gain remains uncertain. It’s a vulnerability, usually absent, that adds a third dimension York student Alexander G. Wright to the character. directs the award-winning company The gradual and more obvious emotional unravelling of the other Belt Up in Anthony Burgess’s dark characters is equally effective. Forsyth’s strength as Max lies in and disturbing play. his representation of the almost pathetic vulnerability underlying Tickets £5 for students. Max’s patriarchal performance: the act frays at the edges, a man come undone in a desperate search for physical affection, as embodied in his final statement to Ruth at the play’s end, ‘Kiss me.’ Ruth is positioned as matriarch in Max’s chair, and as Max begs for affection, the scene almost seems to be offering a faint hope of domestic harmony, yet Sam’s dead body lies unheeded. To the end, Sally Daniels and her cast offer a fascinatingly rich, multilayered reading of this deeply ambiguous play.

Jessica Ballentine

SPOTLIGHT

MUSIC

FILM

BOOKS

CULTURE

LISTINGS

regulars MONDAYS

ne Opera House; that would stop anyo verheard in a campus location Eurostar tracks. Or rate despe their in ": lness U-fu threatened with "YUS perhaps it’s that time of year when “Let’s go on a city break!” zard the lake really steps up its bioha Much flurr y ensued and then the word 'Tru' has lost its frosty winter and s statu midof pair the “Paris!” erupted from like sheen. All York’s joys are curling that campus lovelies. It was decided d from pulle was I sun. the in esan parm uld we (the entire patronage?) “sho the this reverie by the departure of , go somewhere really random!” Yeah trotters (perhaps for globe rated deco begin we really random, cool; shall international waters) and their partand with reality? Words like 'Bulgaria' g: ing shot to all sympathetic feelin with 'really hot' were thrown around my whole loan left got I’ve ll, “We the in careless abandon. The scene in for this term”. Right, no ‘banter’ until WAG’s travel agency continued No then. us of rest for ans the Balk stuthe pesky day to day drudgery of but Rick, we won’t always have Paris, e dent life apparently kicked in. Mayb that you won’t jaunt week two a s here’ a they didn’t know that there was SS need a city break sized loan for. d Queen tribute act on at the Gran

Speed Quizzing £1.50per player Orgasmic 8.30pm

week 7 TUESDAY

A Life in the Theatre CityScreen Basement

03.06 FRIDAY £8 8pm

Recently staged with Patrick Stewart and Joshua Jackson, that’s Star Trek meets Dawson’s Creek for those who prefer watching the box to sitting in one. Instead of getting distracted dreaming up what would happen if the Enterprise crashed in Capeside, go to the show. Just so you know, the crew would become maddened by pretentious teen-speak and checked shirts and get serious with their stun guns.

Spirit of the Dance Leeds Grand Theatre

WEDNESDAY

04.06

University Chamber Choir £3 York Minster 7.30pm Delius, Britten, Vaughan Williams, Elgar, Stanford, Grainger, Holst – it’s like the fireman’s roll call in an upmarket version of Trumpton Town. This summer anthology is celebrating British music in its own trumped up surroundings of the Minster.

Midsummer Night's Dream Free Vanbrugh Bowl 6pm

Student Action’s shaking it up in Vanbrugh Bowl (that bit outside the Music Department best known for geese and their related materials). No duff players here, Helena’s tipped for the top. Bottom, The Bard, and getting Pucked in the sunshine - the stuff mid-season evening musings are made of.

THURSDAY

The Other Boleyn Girl P/X/001

Possibly the one for which it all makes sense. There were dreams about the toothless yokels of York whipping swines and hurling obscenities, but alas, the pigs are purely battery operated. However, this could be (give it a minute) more interesting. Grown persons watching rapt as fake plastic pigs judder around a mocked up racecourse? The smart money’s on the Tamworth Two for a speedy getaway but however fast you like your food you’re on to a winner.

£10.50 The Sleeping Beauty 7.30pm Grand Opera House

The jig’s up Riverdance; Michael’s gone Flatley and there are several hundred new implausibly fast feet on the block. Like Guinness they’re one of Ireland’s most celebrated exports, don’t enjoy the two in conjunction though (especially at the matinee) or you’ll find yourself dancing in the street. A love of antisocial drinking shouldn’t put you off though; they’ve got that Celtic writing on the posters and the ex-Lord of the Dance isn’t even Irish.

05.06 £3 7.30pm

Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson fight it out to be Eric Bana’s mistress. Lucky old Bana. Discover the history you don’t learn in lectures, probably because they’re history lectures and not ‘Soap Operas and Related Melodramas’ seminars. Carry on Henry.

06.06

Pig Racing Free St Clement's Working Mens 8pm

£12.50 7.30pm

The English Youth Ballet showcases local dancers in the telling of this classic story of the good, the bad and the beauty. If Disney’s fuzzed up your fairytales, this is a spindle rather than a poisoned apple; and a hundred years of z’s rather than seven undersized men.

SATURDAY

07.06

Saturday Night Sunday.... £8 York Theatre Royal 7.30pm If your idea of a good time is the theatrical equivalent of someone throwing up musicals past and present, as well as seeking stringent life advice you should get yourself along to this. Perhaps as a last hurrah before being sectioned? Hairspray rears is coiffed head once again while songs from Legally Blonde and The Secret Garden will only be recognised by the die hard.

Prime Example Roman Baths

Free 9pm

All that can be gleaned from this lot is that they’re a popular covers band. In light of this their name appears slightly cleverer than if they were merely trying to moralise their contemporaries. Worth it just to get excited that they might do Prince while you bask in the water until you realise that it’s a pub and you’re in a peck of unclothed trouble.

SUNDAY

The Gilligans The Junction

08.06 £4 8pm

It’s always fun to see people who are younger than you enjoying success you’ll never be capable of. They’ll be hanging up their uniforms (on a school night!) to show their hometown why they won York Best of the Bands 2008. These Basement Bar veterans have enjoyed a meteoric eight month rise. Clearly someone cares about the young folks.

If the conventional and somewhat humdrum question and answer, pen and paper routine isn’t enough for your super-fast cranium then check out the Orgasmic action. Get your wireless buzzer and leave other quizzers eating your questionable dust.

week 8 MONDAY

A Man For All Seasons York Theatre Royal

TUESDAYS

Salsa Classes Bobo Lobo

09.06 FRIDAY

The Tudors are certainly getting a good outing in York of late. We just want more, more, more, and Robert Bolt’s play about Sir Thomas gives a different (read accurate) spin on Bana and gals’ portrayal of Henry and his trouble and strife. Premiered at the Globe, performed on Broadway, produced as a film and for television and radio; our fair city is obviously the crowning notch on this one’s belt.

TUESDAY

10.06

'Monetary policy in the Eurosystem'

A/TB/056-7

Trouble sleeping?

WEDNESDAY

5.30pm

11.06

Musical Showcase £3 Jack Lyons Concert Hall 7.30pm Yes, York has got talent. This concert will showcase some of the music (we like a comprehensive title) has been resounding through western campus in the past year. An eclectic mix is promised; Thai percussion has been heard of. Look out for the stunning piano performance by the most recent recipient of the Wilfrid Mellors First Year Prize.

THURSDAY

12.06

London Community Gospel... £10adv

Leeds Union Stylus

13.06

£5 Phaedra £4.50/3.50members 7.30pm 7.30pm Drama Barn

7pm

Never have so many superlatives been used to describe a group of people who seem to be erring on the illegal side of ecstatic. Reading their blurb is like being strapped to the side of a Teletubby. Accolades include collaborations with George Michael and Tina Turner. Well, that’s simply the best reason to wake me up before you go-go.

Get a bit of Greek tragedy down your gullet. Phaedra fancies her stepson and with her husband gone and death knocking at the door, she decides to go all Hollyoaks on us and tell him. Just like in Chester, this idea mucks things up for all concerned. Tonight will indeed be unlucky for some.

SATURDAY

14.06

The Merry Wives of Windsor £15 Fountain's Abbey 7pm

The fourth Tudor-laced offering and another open-air Shakespeare; questions will be asked about this page’s intent and direction. Falstaff and his women run amok in middle class Elizabethan England. It’s a bit further afield than the city walls, in Ripon to be exact. But it felt necessary to mention Ripon. Because it’s Ripon.

SUNDAY

15.06

Little Sweep and Down in the..£4 Jack Lyons Concert Hall 2pm The Opera Society tackles Britten and Weill in one sitting. Little Sweep sounds like a version of Mary Poppins where the Banks children must save a juvenile Dick Van Dyke from his harmful career instead of his harmful accent. Down in the Valley is your classic star-crossed lovers and disapproving father combo. Think of it as your Sunday soap opera omnibus.

BEYOND...

19th-21st June A Clockwork Orange York Theatre Royal

£5 7.45pm

The University’s own Belt Up theatre company clearly have no intention of doing so. They’re taking on Burgess’ violent tale with their unsettling style. Let’s get physical.

£4NUS 7pm

They're going to great pains to convince us that they're York's longest running and only professionally trained Salsa teachers. Just as well then, because you're going to get great pains learning it.

The Tunnel Club Leeds Union Mine

£3/2adv 11pm

For the price (as well as £1.50 drinks offers) this one might well be in a tunnel. New and classic Indie DJ Chris Martin (not that Chris Martin) spins the tunes until 3am.

WEDNESDAYS

Open Mic Night The Locomotive

Free 8.15pm

Free supper and raffle. Oh, and open mic.

THURSDAYS

Vanbrugh Bar Quiz V Bar

Free 8.30pm

With bounty like Gallery q-jumpers and Bacon themed rounds, how can you say no? Teams limited to six players so that you can’t completely plunder Vanbrugh’s resources.

FRIDAYS

Fruity Leeds Union Stylus...

£5/4adv 10.30pm

Billed as a party for all students and their mates, this lot are going to have a bit of a job on their hands pleasing everyone. But wait, three rooms and they've got Chris Martin (still not that one) back again; I stand corrected.

SATURDAYS

Central Beatz vs Curves £3/5otd Leeds Union Mine 10pm

Every 2nd Saturday of the month an arrangement of drum and bass DJs will face off until 4am.

SUNDAYS The Otherside of Comedy... £8 CityScreen Basement 7pm Much celebrated Sunday night comedy club. Usually featuring two guest comedians. Laugh it up.

MORE...

19th-21st June York's Got Talent Various college bars and times

We like nothing better than an interactive event, and this one really isn’t a goer unless you bring it (in the feisty cheerleader sense). With rumours of certain famous campus faces willing to strip down to their talent, tongues will be set wagging one way or another.

All times, prices and events correct and seemed fun at the time of writing. Vision cannot be held responsible for your lack of enthusiasm. Go and read a book.

16 FEATURES

YORK VISION

Tuesday June 3, 2008

SCIENTOLOGY MEETS STUDENTS

Emilie Roohan discusses what happens when one of the world’s most controversial movements comes to the University of York

...this modern spirituality was ‘more than just something the Yanks did’

that it would be ‘incredibly arrogant’ to assume that we, on our ‘third class planet and second class galaxy’, would be the only sentient life form. This response, while scientifically rational, offered little clarification on the general confusion over the content and extra-terrestrial context of Hubbard’s revered ‘books’. Browsing the official website, www.scientology. org, produced similar results. Clicking on the ‘basic principles’ section of the site, I was informed that the ‘best source of information’ for acquainting myself with the approach were ‘L. Ron Hubbard’s books…’. The details comprising Scientology’s article of faith, then, remain for me vague and undefined. Happily, Hubbard’s collection is said to be arriving in the University library shortly should you wish to gain an understanding without having to pay for the privilege. There was, however, a clear consistency in the central philosophical principles expressed by both the speakers and the website. Colin voiced his belief in the intrinsic value and goodness of humanity, with ‘evil’ acts being simply ‘temporary and superficial aberrations’. The website supports this view, ‘man is basically good’, and argues for equal inalienable human rights of autonomy as a result. This valuation produces more proac-

tive and self-determined members of society, or, as Colin observed, those more likely to ‘get off (their) backside and do something’. The call to resist passive acceptance of societal modes, a rejection of the trouble-free temptation to "burn all the books…go home and watch Big Brother and wait for your pension" is certainly admirable. This thinking, however, appeals for a personal and social movement promoting improvement of self and other, rather than any distinctly ‘Scientological’ path. When David spoke of our ‘unhealthy society’, the motif of disease related in the obscure fantasy of the ‘Xenu’ tale was clarified. The ‘broad heading of insanities’ constituting the problems of society – including inflation, war, corruption and ‘PC nonsense’ – can be more efficiently confronted by healthier, more challenging individuals. There is a strong anti-drugs ethos, with such escapism seen as a shameful cop out – ‘I don’t have to confront life, I can eat a mushroom, smoke some herbs…’. The intrinsic worth Scientology places on the i n d iv i d u a l ’ s life is based upon an indefinite notion of immortality. The human spirit or ‘animus’ is seen as our driving life force. When asked to elaborate on this idea the Platonic distinction between the spiritual and material was employed. We were asked toclose our eyes and picture ‘a black and white cat’ – as evidence of the division between mind and body. The ‘self help’ focus of Scientology, then, is placed in the vaguely religious context of nurturing the ‘spirit’ through studied contemplation and action. The website declares that the ‘spirit alone may save or heal the body’. This

simple and unspecific elevation of the spiritual allows for Scientology’s ‘pan-denominational’ application, seeming to remove the group from the narrow category of sinister religious cult. Disturbing allegations against the Church, however, remain unresolved. In February of this year, University of York students took part in a protest at the Church of Scientology on Hull Road. The protest was part of an international campaign against the Church, which has been dubbed by detractors as ‘Corporate Scientology’. More troubling, however, is the Church’s alleged ‘fair game’ policy – whereby members who ‘leave the folds’ are no longer entitled to its protection. The York protest was arranged to mark this death of the American Lisa McPherson who, it is alleged, died, in part, because she was restrained from proper medical due to the position Scientology takes on medication. The speakers on Wednesday refused to comment on ‘individual situations’ or the ‘fair game’ allegations, stating only the impossibility of preventing members of any organisation going against the principles it seeks to uphold. The positive tone maintained throughout was re-emphasised with David’s firm description of Sci. entology as a ‘fabulous philosophy’. ‘Scientology’ itself seems impenetrable in its lack of distinct, tangible characteristics. Confusion over its finer details are resolved only in referral to ‘the books’. The neat packaging into the ‘Scientology’ concept reveals its corporate function. The financial motivations behind this culture of ‘self-help’ are inescapable, however positive the effects on those who ‘buy in’.

Confusion over its finer details are resolved only in referral to ‘the books’

are ‘like’. His request that we shake hands and greet the people around us established the positive, interactive approach with which he approaches life and credits to the influence of Scientology. Colin, describing himself as giving a ‘local Northerner’s’ account of living the Scientological way, provided an affirmative and touching testimony to his interpretation of Scientology. He detailed how it had supported him in raising his children to become ‘lively, bright, inquisitive, very much alive people’. Both men spoke of the approach’s positive humanist emphasis. This constructive optimism, they declared, helped them retain a sense of humour despite widespread abuse of human rights that mightotherwise lead to a defeatist cynicism. The talk began with a young, smartly-dressed man explaining the etymology of Scientology (the ‘study of knowledge and truth’) and confidently extolling the virtues of abiding by this ‘applied religious philosophy’. When the student audience were able to field questions, however, this i n s t r u c t ive tact was abandoned. There was a repeated stress that the talk was not a class on Scientology. Calls for specific details of Scientological creed and doctrine were evaded with redirection to the wide range of texts available to purchaseon the subject, ‘that’s what the books are for’. One well-informed student queried the content of Hubbard’s 'Manual on Dissemination' - the short response given was “I know nothing about this”. When Scientological belief in extra-terrestrial life was questioned, David simply answered

he Church of Scientology has attracted controversy and critique since its creation in 1953 by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard. Sustained media attack has led to widespread derision of this ‘bizarre cult’, with Tom Cruise as its laughably fanatic messiah. Cruise’s terrifying fervour, subject to a parody in a ‘South Park’ episode that has aroused considerable controversy, is just one example of the sect’s satiric potential. The story outlining its origins, of the ‘dark lord Xenu’, is a popular and oft-cited source of ridicule. 75 million years ago, the dictator of an alien galaxy solved the headache of overpopulation by shuttling billions of citizens to Earth, destroying them with hydrogen bombs. These extraterrestrial souls continue to contaminate the atmosphere and can be blamed for our contemporary spiritual malaise. If the essence of Scientology is accepted as this, the strange fiction of an eccentric individual, then fashionable contempt seems effortless. I attended a talk held on campus by visiting members to gain a sense of how misguided or inadequate such reductive accounts of Scientology might be. I was prepared to challenge my cynicism; determine whether, as one of the three male speakers asserted, this modern spirituality was ‘more than just something the Yanks did’. The central relevance of Scientology articulated by these ‘average’ supporters was its application in ‘simple everyday lifestyles’, enhancing confidence and success rates - ‘chances are you’ll win more’. David, a ‘Jewish Scientologist’, sought to dispel the ‘stereotypes and soundbites’ surrounding Scientologists, in challenging received ideas of what members of the Church

YORK VISION

LIFESTYLE

Tuesday June 3, 2008

P18

ARE WE HOT OR NOT?

>STYLE

>FOOD

>DRINK

>TRAVEL

Here comes the sun Despite the grey clouds, wind and rain, Rachel Knox and Josie Whittle are confident that the sun will return and so explore the fun and frolics that it can bring.

Summer Fun A HEEL-Y GOOD TIME

P20

1 2 P

BBQ EXTRAVAGANZA

IAN D A CAN URES T DVEN

P22

body). Head outside and try booking a tennis court (£1.50 per person), the astro turf for a game of football (£12 per third) or maybe the netball courts (£10 per court), all from the University Sports centre on 01904 433855. Remember to keep well hydrated though!

hat is it about the hot weather that turns you into a little kid again? Maybe it’s the e-numbers from all of the ice-lollies, or the shock of not having to leave the house facing arctic conditions - the Summer has never been so much fun. Finally we can leave the stuffy rooms and kitchens we’ve been trapped in all winter to hang around with friends outside. Long hot days of sunbathing, water balloon fights and outdoor twister are here; and we’ve never been so excited. Surely between a few friends you can club together and dip into those student budgets, for a paddling pool or a rounders set from trusty Poundland. Nothing can beat relaxing outside in the Summer with a barbeque, a pitcher of Pimms and some friends (but watch out for the duck poo). Or if your feeling a bit inventive how about fixing up your own water slide and see how far those genius student minds can get with a few bin bags and a hose pipe.

Summer Lovin'

Summer Sweating

he time has come to shape up for summer, so don’t be a gym slave – in the words of Aretha Franklin, the street’s the place to go. For those of you who aren’t natural athletes you will be pleased to know that jogging can actually be enjoyable when wet, cold and windy conditions are removed and it’s a great way to improve your fitness. Even better, you can put your newly found hobby to charitable use by signing up to take part in Bupa’s 5k Race for Life which takes place over summer and raises money for breast cancer. Find out where your nearest event is at www. raceforlife.org. If jogging isn’t your thing then a bike ride is a great way to tone up and get away from the campus bubble (added bonus you don’t have to worry about having a sweaty face in front of the rest of the student

hether you’re looking to treat that special someone in your life or finally ask out that person you’ve had your eye on all term, then make sure to take advantage of the summer mood that brings out the romantic side in all of us. The sunny d a y s and long nights means there’s no better time to make the move and add a little amour to your life. To help you on your way to your very own summer loving we’ve identified the ultimate summer d a t e s in and around Y o r k that are bound to impress even if your b a n k account is looking emptier than Ziggy's on a weekend. The classic picnic is one that never gets old. Select a scenic spot, roll out the blanket and enjoy some quality time alfresco

style. A key element to any successful picnic is of course the food and here your only limitations are your budget and skills in the kitchen. With a bit of music you have all the ingredients to while away a lazy summer afternoon. If things are going well, why not carry the date on into the evening? Take along some candles to create the perfect atmosphere and as evening falls a night spent stargazing and a midnight stroll through campus is something that can be truly enjoyed in the summer heat. Head to York city centre for more summery date ideas. Take a wander through the museum gardens, renowned for their beauty and best of all entry is free. For those of you with a bit more to spend, you can treat your other half to a nautical experience to remember by hiring a self drive motor boat (£20 f o r a n hour from t h e Kings Staith landi n g , near the Kings A r m s pub) to cruise along the Ouse. So dust off your sunglasses, dig out those shorts and t-shirts, get outside and celebrate the return of funpacked summer days.

18 LIFESTYLE

YORK VISION

Tuesday June 3, 2008

HOT OR NOT?

CAMPUS PLAYBOY

Vision busts the myth that York campus is unimpressed with the 'talent' on offer, stealing four students from their busy schedules to tell us how they think they would rate the average York student. Turns out we're not that bad after all... Name: George Bouras Year: 1st Subject: PPE How George rated York students: 7/10 How George rated himself: 5/10

Name: Eimear Nolan Year: 3rd Subject: Law How Eimear rated York students - 7/10 Eimer refused point-blank to rate herself. (I'd give her a mark out of ten if you know what I mean - Ed.)

VISION'S VIXENS and their

Name: Charlotte McGuinnes Year: 1st Subject: History of Art How Charlotte rated York students: 5/10 How Charlotte rated herself: 5/10

Name: Tim Gribaudi Year: 2nd Subject: History & Politics How Tim rated York students: 7/10 How Tim rated himself: 7/10

Join us in Week 10 for the Playboy's series finale. The fistival of sextacular escapades is shaping up to be his most explosive wordgasm yet. Don't miss out!

STUDENT STUNNERS Tom Powys

YEAR: 2nd STATUS: Single SUBJECT: English Literature

GET THE LOOK: T-shirt: Topman Trousers: Topman Shoes: Ebay Bag: Ebay Belt: Petroleum York student attractiveness on a scale of 1-10: 6/10 ... it’s quite ugly, isn’t it?

Holly Thomas

YEAR: 1st STATUS: Single SUBJECT: History

GET THE LOOK: Hat: Urban Outfitters Coat: Vintage Topshop Bag: Accessorize Shoes: Accessorize York student attractiveness on a scale of 1-10: 7/10, I think we’re alright!

LIFESTYLE

YORK VISION Tuesday June 3, 2008

Fashion Friendly Unit Shifter Kirsty Denison revels in the past and impending grunge look...

STYLE W

ith a high-waist, a skinny-jean and a tailored jacket on every fashion corner recently, the burgeoning grunge revival is a long-anticipated backlash from restrictive indie apparel. Taking inspiration from the early 90’s, anti-fashion is once again about to do its rounds in railing against the establishment. From the ‘indie-look’ to country casuals, the past season’s trends have taken a decidedly streamlined, somewhat preppy approach to fashion. Well, the middle-class malaise reigns no longer as we head towards a style with more attitude than Naomi Campbell could care to dream of. Grunge fashion, in all its varied forms, started its laidback life long ago in a time when grunge music had taken the world by its previously pop-saturated horns. Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Soundgarden slouched their way into the charts, adopting an army of fans and thereby a throng of dedicated fashion followers. The style was unkempt and carefree; their rejection of complex, high budget musical manipulation reflected in this I-don’t-give-a-shit style.

Taking the word dirty from bad to good, Kurt Cobain propelled the stain-covered, moth-eaten, rippedclothing look to a generation of angst-ridden teens. However, this look did not stay underground filthy for long. Vanity Fair magazine soon ran a grunge article which subsequently appeared on the runway of New York fashion shows. Grunge was re-branded, repackaged and sold back to a public keen to follow Cobain’s Converseclad footsteps. When a certain music journalist said “Kurt Cobain was just too lazy to shampoo”, he pointed out one aspect of grunge that just had to go. Let’s keep this trend clean*. With one of America’s most influential designers (Marc Jacobs) spearheading the high-fashion grunge campaign in’92 and then again ten years later, it is clear that a shot of glamour and a spot of cleanliness does wonders for the look’s following. In his latest offering, Jacobs developed a collection of “cut-off, embroidered shift dresses [and] frayed chiffon scarves…underscored by antiqued-gold, sequinned slips, black silk gauze and satin chemises with random hems”.

Necklace, Marc Jacobs, £125

Like any trend worth its rock inspired salt, Kate Moss showed the crowd how “a funky without being frumpy [with] the charm of granny’s attic” look is achieved with the right kind of layering. Grunge just got sexy. Skip forward another fashion light-year and grunge has evolved again. This time the icon is less rock ‘n’ roll and more fashion daring. Agyness Deyn sports the ‘90s get-up to fantastically full effect for an updated laidback layered look. Teaming Doc Martens with rock inspired t shirts, men’s shirts and oversized cardigans, this girl knows how to layer without looking like a “walking jumble sale”. For a more feminine approach, take a toned-down leaf from Chloe Sevigny’s 90s inspired fashion bible. With her new line for Opening Ceremony, Sevigny teams chunky boots with feminine A-lines, rock t-shirts with bustier prom dresses and more floral Laura Ashley type numbers with ripped tights than you can shake your 90210 stick at. This is less grunge and more Clueless but following the same carefree layered trend pioneered by

Nirvana t-shirt, allposters.co.uk, £12.99

Oversized jumper, Topshop, £40

Jacobs way back in ’92. For a look more suited to campus life, Converse and flannel are making a decided resurgence alongside the grunge revival. With MIA, Sid Vicious and Karen O sporting the musician’s favourite footwear for their 100th year anniversary in January, scruffed lace-ups teamed with tights and an oversized jumper provide a step in the right direction for any aspiring fashion follower. In terms of flannel, take inspiration from Dolce and Gabbana’s Pre-Fall 2008 collection with feminine flannel shirts and dresses. Alternatively, team your more masculine flannel apparel with flirty heels and over the knee socks. So whether you choose chic-grunge or grungy grunge; inspiration from Deyn or Cobain; Doc Martens or Converse, take inspiration from our fashion forefathers with a look so laidback it’s practically horizontal. *Disclaimer: smelling like teen spirit optional.

Converse high-tops, Office, £49.99

Cashmere jumper, DKNY, £63

Levis faded jeans, £75

Bag, Sisley, £70

Vintage shirt, ebay, £5

Aesthetically Pleasing Steal Their Style

Helen Nianias and Immy Willetts admire nineteenth-century nonconformity...

The trend for embroidering your tennis apron (for you did own a tennis apron), and stitching flowers onto your favourite puff-sleeved dress was “bang on trend.” This was in 1860, which makes our paltry attempts at customising our clothes (ripping denim, bleaching denim, studding denim… you get the idea) pale in comparison. Perhaps instead of just slightly altering our clothes, we should go the whole hog to make our clothes truly our own. Even if the vogue for the wonky Kensington stitch of the 1860s did die out a mere fifteen years later, there is something satisfyingly upholstery-like about the clothes of the period; like an armchair you have sat in for years an moulded to your shape, so wearing your very own hand-embroidered dress feels comforting and familiar.

The group of Mid-Victorian eccentrics shunned fashionable dress as mentally and physically binding. Discarding the French fashion for stiffened fabrics, binding corsets and overstarched skirts, the Aesthetic style coincided with the movement for comfort as well as style. Their desire to stay loyal to the female form is an idea that we still haven’t fully embraced. The past body-con trend promoted an ideal body that is unrealistic for many women, just as the Victorian 18inch-waist ideal was unfeasible. Rather than lacing everything in, the Aesthetic way was to drape the body in sumptuous fabrics (it is no coincidence that famously print-heavy Liberty’s of London started in 1875) with loose waists and voluminous sleeves. Just as the movement started as a knee-jerk reaction against the mass-production of the Victorian Britain, we can oppose highstreet conformity. The terrifying same-ness of modern fashion suggests that the time is still ripe for full-on Aesthetic-style alteration. Don’t stop at tippexing an Anarchy sign onto your rucksack. Slacken your high-waisted

jeans and remove your corset belt. A wonky sunflower-embroidered dress is surely a more interesting statement than another sailor girl Topshop dress.

For all your embroidery needs, Silver Plated Sewing Kit, £7.95 from amazon.co.uk

A loose-waisted, drapey style is a must; this Vanessa Bruno dress from net-a-porter.com, £100, does the job

Picture courtesy of channel4.com

A good one hundred and fifty years ago, before your twelveyear-old self thought pinning Korn badges to your school bag was the epitome of cool, the customisation of the Aesthetics was already in full swing.

Collecting china was at its peak. Channel chinamania by carrying your own teapot.

20 LIFESTYLE

YORK VISION

Tuesday June 3, 2008

Well Heeled

STYLE Patent Mary-Janes, Marc Jacobs, £295

Jude Hull slings on a pair of heels and reaches dizzying new heights...

eels have taken on a completely different meaning on the catwalks this Spring/Summer. We have seen everything from extreme wedges to gladiator boots, chunky heels, peep toes and lace ups. Designers such as Dolce and Gabbana, Matthew Williamson and Gucci have dressed their models in 6 inch heels and towering wedges to add a flawless finish to their summer looks. Footwear is now something fun, with everything from zips to tassels appearing on the catwalk. High street stores, such as Office, Topshop and Barratts are embracing this trend offering affordable prices for instant chic. But whilst in theory it appears as if this trend is just within our reach, as I discovered, trying to incorporate such great shoes into a rather mundane daily routine can prove to be very difficult indeed. It was a fine afternoon in

York when I stumbled upon a pair of beige court shoe lace-ups with a black finish around the toe and a patent shine; one glance and I had fallen in love. This is where my obsession with heels began, and has taken a hold of me ever since. I was standing looking at these shoes; perfect in the window, beckoning me to try them on and I realised my sense of awe was due to an acute lack of heels in my wardrobe and I was forced to ask myself: why is this? I do not believe I am alone: when thinking of wearing heels during the day it almost conjures an image of a ‘femme fatale’, overly confidently strutting around university. For me and for others it has nearly become a taboo to wear heels in daylight, inappropriate and, at times, impractical. There is something of a safety in wearing flats, you become inconspicuous amongst a crowd, moving quickly and quietly around campus. Of-

ten people feel too tall for heels or, in my case, struggle to put together an outfit that does not suggest I am still returning from a night out! But the time has come to move past these off-putting associations, false impressions and altogether unfounded judgements and embrace the heel as a symbol of style, confidence and femininity. The trick to wearing heels in the day time is to casual down your look so that the shoes do all the talking. Too much flesh is a definite no, but when it is sunny this can prove difficult to avoid. Extreme wedges teamed with a pair of coloured or sparkly ankle socks breaks up your leg and makes an outfit more fun. Realistically the sun is not always out in York so a pair of lace-ups, as seen at D & G and Gucci, teamed with leggings and an oversized jumper will guarantee instant cool. For those who feel too tall in heels, opt for

kitten heels (Topshop have a great pair in pink and brown). If it is the comfort factor that is making you shy away, the new ‘chunky heel’ (look to Office for inspiration)proves far more comfortable for dashing to the library before Key Texts closes! Mix up the shapes of your outfits, an interesting skirt with a fantastic pair of peep toes and tights is guaranteed to make heads turn. There is no room for shrinking violets when wearing heels, do not try and disguise your feet, rather opt for bright colours for example greens and blues with interesting designs, the more striking the better! The beauty in fashion is the confidence with which clothes are worn, and with such a fantastic array of shoes to choose from today we need to break free of the negative connotations we’ve wrongfully associated with heels and embrace our opportunity to stand tall.

Kitten heels, Topshop, £50

Gold heels, Oscar de la Renta, £420 Green wedges, Topshop, £60

Chunky heels, Office, £70

Blue heels, Office, £60

Summer Equi-frocks However, if you are willing to stretch your purse slightly, head to Topshop or Miss Selfridge’s where their summer dresses can easily be doubled up as a sexy dress for an evening out. Nothing says 'summer' like a good pair of flip flops, and the high street is packed full this season. So we’ve searched the shelves of the high

New Look, £18

street and found the best flip flops to dress your feet! Starting with Faith, who are a must-visit and have some beautiful flip flops with very attractive prices. From £20 you can bag yourself a beautiful pair of metallic sling back flip flops. If like many of us you're on a tight student budget and are looking for even more attrac-

tive prices, again we’re pulled into New Look - with gladiator style flip flops from just £12 who could complain?! Finally with that chill in the air still lurking wrapping up warm is still a slight issue, so make sure your exposed limbs are dressed to perfection. Topshop always always come up trumps with knitwear and have

H & M, £24.99

Block heels, Scorah Pattullo, £275

Sartorial Sayings

Its that time of year again, jacket or no jacket? Tights or no tights? The weather can’t make up its mind, and neither can you! The British weather likes to keep us on our toes outfit-wise at this time of the year, Joanne Rea has a Vision style guide on the essentials of the High street ... To kick start your summer feeling, where better to start than purchasing your very own summer dress? And there's no excuses, H & M have a fantastic range for the Spring/Summer season, starting from just £10! As do New Look, with their range costing from as little as £15 with a stunning range to choose from with ruffles, prints and embroidery.

Court shoes, Urban Outfitters, £45

some lovely delicate little cardigans to feast your eyes on. So look summery, but be prepared for a cool breeze, and remember leggings go a long way for those bare leg nightmares!

“I dress for the image. Not for myself, not for the public, not for fashion, not for men.” Marlene Dietrich

“Any costumes which impair or contradict the natural lines of the human frame are to be rejected as ugly, injurious, or both; for they are the abuse of dress, not its proper use.” Mary Haweis

“Fashion is all about eventually becoming naked” Anon

"Fashion is architecture: it is a matter of proportions."

Topshop, £32

Coco Chanel

H & M, £7.99

"High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead." Christopher Morley

"It pains me physically to see a woman victimized, rendered pathetic, by fashion."

French Connection, £50 Office, £40 Miss Selfridge, £38

Yves Saint-Laurent

YORK VISION

LIFESTYLE

Tuesday June 3, 2008

FOOD&DRINK

the

Hot list Steal a deal TWO GIRLS, ONE CUP....I CALL THAT PIMMS O'CLOCK Pimms has got to be the quintessential summer afternoon drink but at £13 a bottle students can find it going to their pockets as well as to their heads. So for those who don’t mind braving lumpenproletariat-loving German discount retailer Aldi, the identical tasting ‘Austin’s’ at less than £5 a bottle is a far better option.

Steal a deal Disposable BBQ This easiest thing to do is to buy a disposable barbecue. They come with firelighters already in so they light with one match. You can buy them for £1 from Poundland but the heat doesn’t really last long enough so I would advise buying a slightly better quality one.

BURGER-ME! IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN That's right - it's time to get your buns out and have a barbecue.

he Great British summer. It's the time of Pimms, of lager, of village fates, of tan lines and 99's. With strawberries at Wimbledon and hope at Lords. But this might sound more like a Bulmer’s ad for those who are more used to summer being a time when dads across the country, convinced that controlling a barbecue is a sign of virility, try to rejuvenate themselves only to burn the sausages and somehow

cause family breakdown and all-round disappointment. But it doesn't have to be like this. Why not enjoy a break from the stresses of 'family time' with a simple barbecue. So forget the cheap processed sausages and frozen burgers and forget that you even had a family. It's time to grab your tongs, a cheap crate and that novelty apron with a naked woman on it, because Vision is having a barbeque and everyone's invited.

urgers Spicy Barbequeue B friends it will have your od go so is pe ci re This the block... queueing around Ingredients: ef mince 500g of lean be

all as you can get it) 1 onion (diced as sm 1 medium egg ated cheese A handful of gr made into breadcrumbs 2 slices of bread salt and pepper shed chilli e this flavour) 1 teaspoon of cru n (or more if you lik 1 teaspoon of cumi

‘Barbecue Jon ’s’ Pasta Salad

This summer most people w thinking ‘I re ill be but for God’s ally want a barbecue, sa ke , I ho pe no vegetarians turn up here’s a reci’.peWell, if that’s you, then se nt in by Jon', a enthus iastic reader'Barbecue Vision that "p who as ta salad is a greatold way to make fr t iends." Ingredients: 300g pasta A small tin of sweetcor n One lemon A few closed cu p mushrooms Mayonnaise Method: Start by cook water. Whilst ing the pasta in salted that’s going, cu mushrooms an t up your utes on a med d fry them for a few m inof butter. Nex ium heat with a bit t, dr ai n th e and put it in pasta with the musa large bowl along hr oo m s an d sweet corn. Add the paprika, lem and pepper an on, sa d en ou gh mayon- lt naise to hold it al l to gether To make sure it's good, just ke.ep ing and adding the flavours untasttil its alright.

a with a bit of oil xfor Method: frying your onion , mi the wl bo ge lar a Start by slowly so in , e n it. Then d all the rest of th few minutes to thfte e breadcrumbs an and onion with half de the mixture into four burgersPu t ingredients. Diviremainder of the breadcrumbs. side. e th ch ea in on em th tes ll nu ro for about five mi tomato and cheese. them on the grill bu ns with sliced d ste toa on e Serv

This is a really good idea if you find that too much beer and burgers make you feel bloated. Salmon is also pretty cheap; Sainsbury sell five frozen fillets for a bargainous £3.49.

Ingredients:

1 salmon fillet Salt and pepper Half a dozen cherry tomatoes A squeeze of lemon

Method:

Steamed Greens

A lot of people think tha t steamed greens were the of thing unaspirationa sort to be honest they're not l people ate during the war and wr ong . However, this perfect for them so why e of year is not try steaming sometim spring greens, spinach or even cabbag e on a barbecue?

How to get steaming

First, fold some kitchen :foil in half and crimp two of to make a sort of envelo the sides the water off and put thepe. Then wash your greens, shake most m inside. All you really nee salt and pepper but a small d to add is of lemon will help it taste bit of butter or even a little squeeze bet ter. Th en cri mp the top to seal the parcel and put it on the for the spinach or a littlegrill. It should only take about 4 minutes longer for the others.

Vs. The Conventional way:

The Proper Way If you're going to have quite a few barbecues over the summer then there are loads of places that sell the real thing The cheapest that I could find was at Tesco for £10.49 but to be honest filling an old cake tin with charcoal works just as well.

Barbecued Salmon

The Burning Issue

Make a small mound of scrunched up paper (with a few twigs if you can find them) and carefully cover it with charcoal. If you can’t light the barbecue you’re going to look like a bit of an idiot so it’s probably best to get some firelighters too. Another tip is to have something handy to fan the flames with.

The Cheat's Way:

To do this, make a pile of charcoal on a metal rack and hold it over the gas hob on an oven till it

Place the salmon on kitchen foil and season both sides well with salt and pepper. Squeeze the lemon on top of the salmon and then halve the tomatoes placing them around it. Finally, fold the foil around the food to make a sealed parcel. This will cook on the grill in about ten minutes (or if the sun goes in just put it in the oven at 200 degrees for the same time).

glows. This method is tried and tested to be very effective, although it is likely that if one of the coals at the bottom of the pile slips then the rest will tumble in tragi-com Tom and Jerry style with scaldings all round.

The Petrol way:

Popular amongst imbeciles, this self-explanatory method is guaranteed to be time-saving but with the possibility of third degree burns not to mention the rising fuel costs, it is in no way endorsed by Vision.

22LIFESTYLE

YORK VISION Tuesday June 3, 2008

TRAVEL

DAY TRIPPER Andy Henrick says Hull is anything but dull.

BEAR COUNTRY Alex Dale dodges more than just bears in Whistler, Canada, the extreme sports capital of North America.

ull. Just say it. It hardly sounds like the most culturally vibrant, highly spirited or even the most pleasant city in the world. With being dubbed “the worst place to live” in the UK by Channel 4’s “The Best and Worst Places to Live” back in 2005, I decided to take it upon myself to see if it was as bad it’s as perceived. Armed with just a pair of sunglasses and a smile, I braved the terrifying peril that is Hull. And I found myself pleasantly surprised. Just under 40mins away from York I arrived to find a mass of Hull City football shirts celebrating their recent rise into the Premiership. The startling array of orange and black seemed insignificant in such a friendly atmosphere, where fun was being had by all, especially the local landlords. Underneath the organised chaos were a great number of attractions which are relatively successful in keeping the chav plague off the streets. Boasting two theatres, an aquarium and a maritime museum, Hull has much more to offer than its label suggests. The most popular venue has got to be the Princes Quay, located in the heart of the city, containing enough shops to keep even the worst shopaholic entertained until dinner time. The Princes Quay also includes a cinema, a vital resource for bored blokes who would rather watch Indiana Jones than go to New Look. Genius. But wait, there’s more! Once the aquarium has closed and the curators have dragged the last few people from the museum, Hull’s nightlife surfaces along with the mini skirts and high heels to prove that Hull is so much more than Channel 4 would suggest. Venues such as The Welly Club and The Lamp, which entertain bands such as Sunshine Underground and The View, are not to be missed and, then, an alcohol fuelled stumble to the Pozition nightclub is an absolute must. If you fancy a change from the Shambles and rolling down Clifford’s Tower after a night out at one of the big three, give Hull a try. You might be surprised. If not, oh well. Train tickets start at £16.50 for a single from York to Hull.

aving been to Canada twice before, I jumped at the opportunity to go again. The first two occasions felt like being dropped into a scene from Little House on the Prairie, probably because I actually stayed in a little house in the prairies, with the nearest town 30 minutes away. However this time would be different. I was going to the extreme sports capital of North America. I was going to Whistler, BC. Whistler is situated in the Rockies, about an hours drive from Vancouver. It’s known for being the best ski resort in Canada, possibly even North America. However in the summer, ski runs become mountain bike trails and for mountain bikers Whistler Bike Park is literally heaven on earth. In the winter, Whistler is obviously ski ski ski! However by going in the summer, I got to see a different side of Whistler and the activities available to a tourist really open up. For adrenaline junkies, narrowly avoiding trees, stumps and even bears in the Bike Park may be your thing. BMXers a n d

Adrenaline

cold water much less of a man because of it. For the sane majority of people, Whistler does

fe i l d il W The

offer a host o f opportunities to relax. Whistler Golf club has an award winning course, but this is reflected in its prices and nine holes would probably suffice. For budgeters, there are many lakes in and around Whistler for swimming or sunbathing. The scenery is idyllic and there are lots of designated walks for wildlife lovers. You can even catch a chair lift up the mountain and walk down. If you wanted to catch a better glimpse of British Columbia, road trips are just the job. We decided to visit friends in the small town of Salmon Arm, which was just less than a day’s travel from Whistler. Passing

Junkies

skaters might like to try the free skatepark which adjoins a set of dirt jumps. Even skiing is not ruled out by the hot climate, as the glacier is still open to skiers. But if you’d like to try something new, why not go white water rafting. A word of warning though: when your guide asks you if you’d like to practice the emergency procedure if someone falls out, this is a joke! Apparently I don’t get the Canadian sense of humour and I came out of the

gone through a period of non-stop development. The next few years will be an exciting time for the village and if there was ever a time to go, now is that time. The major downside to Whistler is that it is costly. With the popularity of the resort continuously rising, prices will mirror this, and flights to Vancouver will never reach the EasyJet range of prices. Whistler will never be a weekend away. It deserves to be enjoyed in all its glory, which makes it the perfect destination for a family or skiing holiday. On the broader scale, if anyone is thinking of travelling I would urge you to think of Canada. It is a country of great diversity and you would be hardhearted not to fall in love with it.

through the pred o m i nantly N a t i v e American towns of Pember ton and Lillooet was fascinating and the panorama of both the Rockies and the flatlands was superb. There’s an excellent diversity of restaurants in Whistler, anything from Chinese to Greek, Indian to Mexican. However you shouldn’t leave Canada having escaped real American cuisine and the Keg Steakhouse certainly fits the bill. Whistler’s nightlife is a laugh a minute

and wilder than a rodeo. On acid. Garfinkels is Whistler’s biggest and busiest club and has been host to DJs such as Roger Sanchez. The nearby Maxx Fish is well attended by both locals and tourists, proclaiming itself to be ‘a premier club for the hip crowd,’ which may explain why I was refused entry. Without a shadow of a doubt, Whistler’s nightlife puts the likes of Toffs (I’m determined that Tru won’t catch on, its not even spelt correctly!) and Gallery to shame, though this is not difficult! Despite the depiction of Canadians in South Park, they are in fact charming, pleasant people, who have no problem with flatulence or jaw detachment. It’s quite eerie how polite and kind the people are, it feels almost as if they know something that us Britons don’t. Their attitudes to life enhance t h e chilled atmosphere of their picturesque c o u n t r y. Never have I felt at risk in Canada and if I did I’m positive a Mountie would have my back!

The cheapest return flights to Vancouver start at around £350. The cheapest hotels in Whistler start at around £30 pppn. Whistler Blackcomb Mountain Bike Passes start at around £60 f o r 3 days.

rk a D ter

In 2010 Vancouver will host the Winter Olympics, most of which will be held in Whistler. Since the announcement in 2003, Whistler has

YORK VISION

SPORT

Tuesday 3 June, 2008

The cheekiest sports journalist on campus

Jim Norton

Speaks to Scottish speed specialist Margot Wells, who has dedicated her life to transforming good players into world-class athletes and personal life to speed, explaining “I had the ability to be world-class, but I wasn’t worldclass. I wasn’t born with a sprinter’s head. You can make the body. You cannot buy the head. I have a coach’s head.” There is a reason why Margot Wells is held in such high esteem; not only does she get results, her straight-talking no-bullshit approach has commanded respect from some of the fiercest competitors in sport today. When interviewing the speed expert, the thick Scottish accent demands authority down the phone: not in a rude way, but enough to make you shut up and listen.

“I [am] fascinated by pace. I nearly drove my dad nuts because I wanted to know why I could run faster than everybody else”

relationship with them, she replies “a family sums it up really; not everyone gets on and you have the odd skirmish, but because I’ve been there, done it, and bought the t-shirt; the guys have a huge amount of respect for what I say”. The admiration is mutual and the caring coach is obviously proud of her charges. During the interview she enthuses about Paul Sackey’s “most natural running ability” and how “Cips" [Danny Cipriani] works so hard on the fitness side of his game: "He’s such a phenomenally talented player”. Success is measured on results, and Wells is convinced her players can now “do things that no one else can do. Cipriani can go when he wants to go, sprint when he wants to sprint.

Above: Margot Wells training and testing her talented young charge Danny Cipriani

• Physical strength It is imperative to be as fit as possible. “Your arms control your legs, so make your arms stronger!” advises Margot on how to run faster. For speed endurance, the ex-professional sprinter recommends practicing Above: Alan Wells winning Gold running flat out, “Nothing takes in the 1980 Moscow Olympics more out of the body than running flat out”. Highlander insists that there is a “repeatable recipe, and you can •Mental strength just follow this recipe”, explainMargot believes success deing that “The first thing I do is pends on motivation, explaining teach him how to run properly. that “sports people in general By doing that he immediately runs faster. And then I look at “There’s his body and say, ‘Right, where are all the weaknesses?’ And always then I go about fixing them. something you can Bad spelling jumps out to some people; bad bodies jump out to learn and change, me. It’s a step-by-step system to always a way of follow”. The confidence in her methods is plain to see as she making the body work boasts “In ten minutes, I can get more efficiently” anyone running faster”. Throughout her successful career, Margot has adhered to the basic formula ‘Power = strength x speed’, whilst maintaining her seem to have a higher work rate belief that “there’s always somelevel and a massive amount of thing you can learn and change, dedication”; and find positive always a way of making the responses to situations, describ- body work more efficiently”. It’s ing athletes as “not necessarily not mere luck that has seen good the most confident people. It players transformed into worldis this lack of confidence that class athletes. Remember the strives them on to [perform] name and next time an England better, because they are never Rugby star makes a try-saving happy with what they’ve got”. tackle or a Great British athlete Using this knowledge, Margot sets a record, you too will be able Wells is currently setting up a to say: Margot Wells did that. new company ‘Wellfast’ which aims to educate PE teachers and coaches on how to replicate her methods on lower rungs of the sporting ladder. The pioneering

Lawrence Dallaglio: his ability was also developed by Wells

Waldouk, Haskell, Sackey [all Wasps team-mates] and Gomarsall can all do it”. Claiming “I just fuel the talent”, Wells believes it is her job is to “give them the physical qualities to do what they do on the pitch, so they can play the game the way they want to play”. Her unique style has seen success at the highest levels and received high praise. Over six years, England and Wasps winger Paul Sackey has been forking out £400 a month for her services and recently described her as “my rock, she is absolutely amazing”. Margot’s objective is to increase speed and acceleration, but she is irritated by the misconception that this can be achieved by just standing on a track and telling someone to lift their knees higher, “People think I just do a bit of running, which is not true. I teach them the whole package”.

Evidently, her players realise this: “We do have a laugh and a joke after it and stuff but if I am on the track, I ain’t messing about,” the no-nonsense Scot says firmly. Delivered in her direct manner and tone, inspiring words such as “Just stop, look back, and you will see that you have achieved a lot” can’t fail to motivate. Wells says what she means and means what she says and, although some advice can border on a Year 9 PE lesson, her understanding and depth of knowledge of the physical body is evident and invaluable to many. Interestingly, Margot sees herself as a surrogate mother to her protégés. When asked how she would describe her

This “whole package” can be divided into three key elements: • Technique Margot has a trained eye for weaknesses in technique. Having had the talent for many years, she recalls her husband Alan asking after races “What was my pick-up like in the third set?’ And I could tell him. ‘What was my knee-lift like?’ And I could tell him”. Precociouslytalented Usain Bolt, a 21 year old Jamaican sprinter, shocked the athletics world recently by smashing the 100m world record in New York, clocking 9.72. His raw talent is often hindered by poor technique, but experts believe an improved technique could see him surpass Michael Johnson as the greatest sprinter ever.

REMEMBER THAT try saving interception Paul Sackey somehow managed in the Guiness Premiership final on Saturday? You can credit Margot Wells for that. Have you ever marvelled at Danny Cipriani’s meteoric rise through the ranks to replace Wilkinson? Margot again. And were you astonished by Andy Gomarsall’s remarkable comeback from the rugby scrapheap in the World Cup? Yes, you guessed it, Margot strikes again! The Scottish speed specialist is responsible for nurturing, developing, and fulfilling the potential of 28 rugby players, 3 hockey players, and 2 Athletes. With a wealth of experience and a tough love approach, Margot Wells has transformed good players into world-class athletes. Born in Fife during the 1950’s, her passion for running began from an early age; “I have always been fascinated by pace. I nearly drove my dad nuts because I wanted to know why I could run faster than everybody else”. As a talented sprinter, Wells represented her nation in the 1978 Commonwealth Games in Edmonton, but when watching her husband Alan Wells also run for Great Britain, she realised “I got more pleasure watching him run than running myself ”. Supporting him at the 1980 Moscow Olympics, she came under the spotlight when a BBC crew filmed her crazed reactions during the 100 metres final her husband took gold in. Although Wells was aware of her own perceptive and critical eye for technique, it wasn’t until 1988 that speed improvement became her job. London Irish originally asked Alan Wells, but Margot turned up instead and repaid them with success. Since then, Wells has dedicated her professional

40 SPORT

YORK VISION

ICH BIN EIN BERLINER

Tuesday June 3, 2008

Want to watch football abroad? Here are some tips: > Fancy a weekend in Amsterdam and a chance to see Marco Van Basten's Ajax play? Click on: http://english.ajax.nl/ > Tickets to see French Ligue 1 side Paris St. Germain: www.psg.fr/ fr/Billeterie/207001/ Billetterie > Tickets to Bundesliga matches in Germany are available from: www.ticketmaster.de

Vision's Robert Romans travels to Germany to sample Bundesliga football ON SUNDAY 18th May, Hertha Berlin qualified for the UEFA Cup, similarly to Manchester City, by the Fair Play system. Whilst Hertha Berlin managed to avoid a pathetic 8-1 drubbing on the final day of the season, their year, similarly to Manchester City’s, has been one that offered promise, but delivered little. Sitting through ninety minutes of a dull 0-0 draw between Hertha Berlin and HSV Hamburg in April illustrated that, but I didn’t go for the football… What was the attraction of attending this entertaining spectacle in Germany? The experience of watching football abroad. I am fed up of English football; the highest level of the English game is awash with foreigners and over-priced mercenaries; the supporters of Premiership teams are treated as a commodity, the fan bases are taken for granted by some clubs. Ticket prices are astronomical; the game is saturated with arrogance and greed, I could go on. The English game sold its soul for a cut-price figure in the early nineties; the Bundesliga has strived to protect its integrity – no wonder the Germans object to Premier league chief Richard Scudamore’s ludicrous notion of game 39 – and rightly so. The German football experience is an example of riding the vehicle of value because the fans get a good ride that is value for money; my match ticket cost 16 Euros (about £8), at Arsenal and Reading, for example, the cheapest ticket this season was £32; at Chelsea, the cheapest ticket available to watch a Premiership match was £48. Further, I paid 2 Euros for a match day programme; it was superior quality to a lot of programmes produced by Championship and Premiership clubs.

I got value for money; I couldn't and wouldn't complain. My trip from Berlin Hauptbahnhof by S-Bahn to the Olympia Stadion, where Hertha play their home games, passed without problem. Fans mingled with one another and the fans of HSV Hamburg and Hertha shared their football banter; it was a normal trip to a ground. For those Hertha fans it was a routine pilgrimage to their place of sporting worship; to me, it was a trip into a new culture. I was a football tourist. Being the perfect pseudo-Hertha fan, I invested in a Hertha scarf; I wanted to feel a part of the Hertha fanbase. Upon arrival at the ground, it became apparent that the Germans take their football seriously: expect fanfares and a carnival atmosphere outside a stadium. I walked past stalls of Hertha memorabilia including a stand selling badges; one badge on display caught my attention and offered a brief spell of immature amusement. There was a badge with “FANCLUB ANAL International Berlin” written on it - in Hertha colours too. I stood sniggering at it whilst the man behind the counter struggled to comprehend why; maybe “Anal” has a different meaning in German. I quickly walked away. There were bottles of beer for sale outside the ground too, not something that would be allowed in England. I sampled a bratwurst; the quality of it shamed the traditional meat and potato match day pie back home. The atmosphere was relaxed; there was barely any police presence and it appeared as if fans could be trusted; it harboured a sense of envy. Walking out of the game later that night, I thought there might be an ulterior motive why beer is sold cheaply outside the stadium: The quality of football on offer

this season probably explained why there were 0.5 litre bottles of Berliner Kindl beer for sale outside the Olympia stadion for 2 euros; perhaps if the fans went in feeling slightly merry, it would null the pain of watching yet another ninety minutes of ineptitude. There was a caravan decorated in Hertha décor broadcasting German football anthems out of a loud speaker; whilst the music that was being played would probably be good if I was heavily sedated, it illustrated that German football fans are still in touch with football. Even if the music sounded like it was produced by a Boy Scout band, it beats the prawn sandwichmunching brigade from Old Trafford. In fact, any remotely humane form of supporting a football team does.

There are other attractions to watching Hertha too: “I only come to be with my husband” commented the woman whom I was sat next to. How romantic, I thought; there is nothing better than watching your overweight husband cram a greasy bratwurst into his mouth at a football match. Romance is a wonderful thing; especially if you like watching a man who looks likes Onslow from the sitcom Keeping Up Appearances, but with more hair and a better fashion sense, consuming an overpriced glass of Carlsberg in public. Maybe if more people supported Hertha Berlin, there would be less demand for hallucinogenic drugs. Walking into the stadium, a Hertha employee attempted to sell me a season ticket. A

tempting offer undoubtedly, but unfortunately, I was already taken. A fan's first football team love should be their first - and last. I struggled to contain my excitement at the thought of watching a mid-table Bundesliga team. Or rather, tickets to watch Hertha play are easier to get than tickets to watch Bayern Munich conduct their daily annihilation of some uninspiring mid-table Bundesliga outfit. However, the attraction of watcing top flight foreign football in a stadium decorated in iconic history was too difficult to ignore; secondly, Hertha have a rich and interesting history. The club has a scarred history littered with acts of scandal, corruption and suffered the effects - along with the rest of the city - of the erection of the Berlin Wall in 1961. Hertha Berlin vs. HSV Hamburg, the latter a regular in the top six of the Bundesliga is the German equivalent of Middlesbrough (but with more fans, a better stadium and a place worth visiting) vs. Aston Villa (a decent team challenging for Europe). No frills; just a get-the-job-done spectacle. The match was a tawdry affair; a scrappy 0-0 draw hardly worth the use of newspaper paper and ink to describe. HSV were awarded a penalty late in the secondhalf, but it was struck directly at the Hertha ‘keeper whom saved it comfortably. However, worthy of note during this festival of excitement was the atmosphere: seeing about 5,000 Hertha fans singing non-stop during the game made a change from the sterile atmosphere that has engulfed grounds in England. It was pleasant to see a non-stop precession of flag waving and holding scarves aloft. What added flavour to the atmosphere was that there was no segregation in the stadium. Hertha and HSV fans could sit

> To see Inter Milan, check out their official website: www.inter. it/aas/hp?L=en > How does a weekend in Prague and a a chance to see Sparta Prague sound? Go to: www.sparta.cz/en/ together and enjoy each other's company; sadly, such a sense of unity is lacking in the English game. Sadly, this atmosphere was punctuated by the booing that can usually be heard in the background during the live broadcast of a match on television when a particular player touches the ball. Going to a Bundesliga football match was a fascinating experience; the atmosphere and ticket pricing made me feel jealous, it was a trip born out of a fetish to experience football abroad. Walking out of the Olympia Stadion after the game, I naturally felt that what I had experienced in Berlin should be appllied to watching English football: more top flight clubs that are far more accessible to watch because support is nurtured by attracting fans with cheap tickets; a relaxed atmosphere in which fans from both clubs don't need to be segregated and the eradication of the soulless atmosphere that has strangled the life out of many football grounds. As the late former Celtic manager Jock Stein said: "Football is nothing without fans". He was right; the Germans embrace such a philosophy with passion and maintain that the game is kept in touch with those whom hold it dearly. Terracing also exists at some Bundesliga grounds including Borussia Dortmund's Westfalen Stadion and Schalke 04's Gelsenkirchen arena. Terracing, for some, would be granted a welcome return to the English game, but similarly to some of the things that I experienced in Berlin, it will never happen in the Premiership, or probably the Championship. Would I go again? Watching Hertha maybe someone’s idea of romance, but not mine; then again, I do support Norwich City.

YORK VISION

SPORT

Tuesday June 3, 2008

VISION TELLS YOU ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT EURO 2008

EUR - VISION

ONE TO WATCH: Mario Gomez Age:22

Joe Rahman looks ahead to an England-less Euro 2008

The prolific Stuttgart striker can boast some impressive statistics: 18 goals in 23 appearances in the Bundesliga and a ratio of 2 goals every 3 games for Germany. Nicknamed ‘Mr Reliable’, the ‘2007 German Player of the Year’ is expected to increase his price tag

Cast your mind back to Euro 2004 in Portugal, where Greece triumphed over the hosts in a tense final. Their victory is testament to the open nature of international football’s second biggest tournament. The one common theme emerging from the coaches is that any one nation can beat another and to write off any team before the championships have started would be foolish. With no home nations participating, this is a real opportunity to enjoy a great footballing spectacle without the usual anxiety which any England fan can testify to. Like any country hosting, the Austrian and Swiss economies will benefit greatly from the tournament with an expected revenue boost of 300m and the creation of 11,000 job opportunities.

tenfold on the national stage.

SINCE WINNING the competition in 1996, Germany have failed to take home a win from either of their previous two European campaigns. However, fortunes are changing for Joachim Low’s team and they arrive as pre-tournament favourites with only one defeat in qualifying. The experience of Ballack and Frings will provide a solid midfield, whilst talented youngster Gomez will be busy earning his reputation as a future Gerd Müller. Despite an injury plagued Metzelder at the heart of defence and an unreliable Lehmann in goal, only Croatia and Portugal pose any real threat to Germany’s route to the final. Perennial underachievers: Every time a tournament rolls around, Spain are tossed into the equation and every time they fail to deliver. This time could well be different with many of their big names having good seasons. Fernando Torres had a fantastic debut year in the Premiership and Cesc Fabregas was once again phenomenal at the heart of Arsenal’s midfield. Luis Aragones chooses a 4-3-3 formation to try and deliver their first European success since 1964. Emulate the success? Italy are the world champions, but will they follow France’s example in 2000 and become European victors as well? It’s almost too absurd to suggest that they nearly missed out all together as

they struggled in qualifying. However Coach Roberto Donadoni has brought his team to the finals on the basis of a strong spine playing 4-5-1. Keeper Buffon will bring his wanted inspiration for the defence, as will Luca Toni in attack having scored 39 goals in his debut season for Bayern Munich. Facing them in the ‘’group of death’’ are three

tough opponents and it remains to be seen how they handle the expectation of the Azzurri fans after "that" World Cup triumph. France come to the Euro’s with a muted presence. Though undoubtedly they are a strong team on paper, the realities of them performing on the day have been called into question. Injuries and players out of form are the main reasons behind this, with such stars as Gregory Coupet and right-back Willy Sagnol forced out. Patrick Viera has been poor at best this season and the emergence of Jeremy Toulalan of Lyon is slight compensation; the same could be said for Thierry Henry and wonderkid Karim Benzema (see below). France are

expected to progress from their tough group but lack of form in the latter stages could prove their downfall. Portugal have arguably the greatest player in the world on their side in the divisive Cristiano Ronaldo, and Luis Felipe Scolari will been keen to go one better with his team than Euro 2004. Using the tournament as his swansong, expect Scolari at his motivational best, trying to get the best out of a squad in their biggest slump for 4 years. He needs Deco at full fitness and Nuno Gomes to be hitting the back of the net if they are going to stand a chance. There are other teams that I cannot mention in detail but still have a chance of winning. Holland always bring a good show to international competition and Euro 2008 will be no different. They are the underdogs in Group C and it will be difficult for them to qualify. Croatia, who knocked out England, are also in with a shout. Despite missing the goal threat of Eduardo, expect to see new Spurs signing Luka Modric (see below) pulling the strings in midfield. My outside tip is Russia, galvanized under the stewardship of Guus Hiddink. They surprised many with their qualification performance, and with Hiddink’s proven track record with South Korea and Australia, many expect them to be at their best come June.

Forget the Saint Jakob Park...

ONE TO WATCH: Karim Benzema Age: 20 As idols go, Ronaldo is a pretty good place to start and the Lyon striker doesn’t just dream of playing like the great Brazilian. Winning ‘Ligue 1 Player of the Season’ and targeted by all the biggest clubs, the French-Algerian scores for fun. With tough competition from Anelka and Henry, expect Benzema to

-----------------Czech Republic Portugal Switzerland Turkey

D GROUP B GROUP C GROUP ------------------

-----------------Austria Croatia Germany Poland

ONE TO WATCH: Igor Akinfeev Age:22 Having broken into the CSKA Moscow first team at only 17 and becoming the current captain at 22, the young Russian goalkeeper is certainly one to watch. By assuring quality and security between the posts, Hiddink’s men are allowed to play attacking football. And if they can progress through to the knockout stages, Akinfeev could prove vital in shootouts.

Head t Derwent Bar! -Derwent Bar will be showing EVERY live game plus evening highlights on the big screen. -Alternatively, head to the Charles or the Deramore Arms. Key Group Games: Mon June 9th ITV 19:45 Holland vs. Italy Tue June 10th BBC 17:00 Spain vs. Russia Thu June 12th ITV 17:00 Croatia vs. Germany Tue June 17th BBC 19:45 France vs. Italy

come on late and make an instant impact.

GROUP A

-----------------France Italy Netherlands Romania

Greece Russia Spain Sweden

ONE TO WATCH: Luka Modric

Age: 22

Recently signed for Spurs, the ‘2007 Croatian Player of the Year’ is a future star. What the two-footed playmaker lacks in size is more than made up for by his all-around ability. Using stamina and aggression for defensive duties and attacking with flair and a killer shot, Modric is Croatia’s secret weapon.

42 SPORT

YORK VISION

Tuesday June 3, 2008

£40 for university sport? Andy McGrath questions the price hike.

I Andy MCGRATH

DON'T furiously scribble every single purchase on a notepad; I'm not the kind of person who mysteriously runs out of money when it's time to buy his round. But having to pay £40 to AU and sports centre? Shocked doesn't describe my reaction. As much as the big cheeses and money-men behind the university will try to justify it, that's a pretty hefty price hike however you look at - even encapsulating the sports centre, it doesn't include gym membership, just in case you're wondering. The new system is ultra-friendly for sports and gym centre addicts, but just serves to further alienate many members of the clubs who don't use its facilities. Unfortunately it's the same old spiel: "there's no black and white... we'll try and reinvest it, but can make no promises... we're making an unfair system slightly fairer." Are we meant to be placated by this spin? Some clubs that don't use the facilities are already considering disaffiliation from the AU as they can obtain insurance from national sporting federations for much less money. Of course, without the annual stipend, these clubs cannot survive... and so the entrapping full circle is reached, and their members will have little choice but to pony up come October. I feel bad for all the bright-eyed, bushy-tailed freshers converging on York in the autumn: blissfully unaware of the rise, they will be all too willing to fork out the money without any questions. It might be worse for second and third-years wanting to use

SPORTS SHORTS

the questionable facilities: we know the difference, but the AU have us all pinned into a tight corner. They have realised that they can charge us anything within reason - a mass exodus to the pricier Next Generation Gym isn't on the cards, methinks and anyhow, gym membership fees are not the issue here - and forty smackers is right on the very "thattakes-the-piss" limit for those used to the stand-alone £15 AU charge. Perhaps it is better to be a blissfully-unaware fresher than an old hand smouldering with the rage and injustice of it all, but we're having to pay more to use facilities of questionable quality because there is just no choice. Look around, what will that £40 pay for sportswise? The use of a no-frills gym-main hall combo that looks like a metal coffin from outside (somewhere Wren is turning over in his grave). Elsewhere, the sports centre is far from the jewel in our concrete, duck crap-encrusted crown. And STILL, our athletics track remains the saggy, unserviced Northern prostitute of national university sport facilities. When's that oft-promed facelift coming? Hey, she's not getting any action: we're the ones getting shafted as the admin watch the clock slowly tick by and wait for the all-singing, all-dancing saviour that Heslington East is proclaimed to be. Just as well that £40 will get me about 20 bottles of Lambrini, because I need a drink...

wicked WHISPERS Which two prominent members of the UYAFC spent the first night of Roses crashed out together in a lecture room doorway? Rumours of a romantic liason remain unconfirmed. We can only hope though.

NUMBER CRUNCHER

If you're packing in university sport for the principle of the matter, what could £40 get you?

0.91 21.05

We knew, Steve.

Month-long student membership packages at the Next Generation gym.

When attempting to get an interview with former England and Middlesbrough manager Steve McClaren, Vision Sport was unceremoniously told by McClaren's agent about four weeks ago that "Steve is in Holland on business". Current reports from Holland state that McClaren is on the verge of becoming manager of Eredivisie side FC Twente. In other words, Steve, we knew you were up to something in Holland. We won't comment on your "business trip to Barbados" that we were told about...

500ml bottles of Orange Lucozade Sportfrom YOUR:SHOP.

York R510 Multi-use rowing machines for 0.31 the Sports centre. Hours from Rio Ferdinand, at his current 0.06 rate per annum 1.3 Tickets for the end-of-year AU bash. WAG's Workout fitness DVDs. 3.1 walker

Swimming

BY HOLLIE PRICE

YORK'S SWIMMERS and water-polo players are well on their way to proving that the sport need to be promoted back up to A-class at the university. The club is currently stuck in the B category, alongside the likes of Ultimate Frisbee, an athletic but Olympic-unaffiliated sport. After a strong summer term, UYWSC is well on the way to earning their A grade back, and it’s about time too. After making a splash at Roses with some promising victories, - despite some less-positive water-polo results - things are looking up for the UYWSC. With a new committee already coming into fruition, the club members seem to be getting all the more enthusiastic about land training, basketball games, sponsored swims and even some swimming and waterpolo in between! In truth, swimming training sets have never been more rigorous, and with Duncan Eggleston at the helm to teaching the womens’ waterpolo team, their defeat in Lancaster is unlikely to be repeated in 2009.

Tennis Underlining their serious ambitions for the forthcoming terms, there’s gruelling land training going on morning, noon and night, held by the club’s president-elect Hugh Frere-Cook. It’s all about turning the teams into the ironmen (and women) of the university sporting network - this term, everyone’s even more up for it. The new committee looks set to change a few things and to build on the solid foundations of the previous group, who are ending the year with a popular sponsored swim and a strengthened relationship with the Jorvik swimming club. Fair enough, the Jorvik squad has fifteen-year-olds that can swim faster than some of York’s team members, but that can only be a good incentive, right? It makes everyone put in that extra bit of effort to beat the spotty adolescent in the lane next to them. Sure, York will never be a powerhouse in the BUSA pool like super-funded trailblazers Loughborough or Bath, but a slow move up the rankings is on the cards for 2009.

BY JIM NORTON DESPITE A contentious BUSA relegation, York Tennis is back to winning ways after a superb performance at this year’s Roses. Chris ‘Lil Chris’ McDonald triumphed with ‘Player Of The Tournament’, President Steve Durrant found form with two wins after losing seven previously, and 2nd team captain Pinch saw his exhausting training regime pay dividends as his squad thrashed Lancaster 15-0. The Roses victory was a welcome success after the debateable demotion in this year's BUSA league. Needing a draw against Sheffield to survive relegation, the odds were looking good for the tennis team. Although 4-3 down, just one win was needed and luckily York’s number 1 was on the court, dominating with a 6-0, 3-0 lead. Unfortunately, rain stopped play at 19:00 and Sheffield decided to call it a day. Though originally offering York a much needed draw, the home team’s Athletic Union disagreed with the decision. AU President Jo Carter appealed the results to BUSA and was

unsuccessful. Sheffield were considered not to have been unsporting and were within their rights to take the win. Nonetheless, prospects for York’s tennis team are looking positive. Currently pushing for a promotion in the Summer National Club league, the campaign has begun with three straight victories. The most recent ended in a dramatic ‘shootout’, with Cameron Downey and first team captain Peter Thompson Glover holding their nerve and managing to “claw back victory from the jaws of defeat”. Last but not least, get the strawberries and cream ready for the upcoming annual university tennis tournament. Swedish star David Leff Halstein is the hot favourite to take home the singles title, but various other matches, in particular the doubles tournament , look set to be an open and exciting affair. New balls please!

Water-

Cock up Which unfortunate member of the Fencing team woke up one morning during Roses to find someone thrusting their manhood over their face? Surely it would've been better to save such manly behaviour for the fencing matches?

Campus goes lacrosse crazy Look out for lacrosse, as the inter-college competition hits campus on Saturday 8 June. University team captain Kate Moss enthused: "I'm reallty excited, it will showcase lacrosse well, but it can't become a more regular thing until more people learn how to play: lacrosse is a complicated sport. This tournament is a really good opportunity for a somewhat obscure sport to get better known. It should become more mainstream, as it's just as important as hockey and rugby." Rumours abound that Derwent have been in rigorous training for weeks...

Got any juicy gossip or comments for us? Email us at: sport@yorkvison.co.uk

YORK VISION

Tuesday June 3, 2008

SPORT

2008 INTER-COLLEGE FOOTBALL CUP

UP FOR THE CUP

FROM BACK PAGE

BY ANDY MCGRATH

> Controversy and cupsets aplenty > Alcuin and Goodricke still favourites BY ANDY MCGRATH FORGET MOSCOW, John Terry and epic, Shawshank Redemptionesque amounts of rain: the annual college cup is the real deal. The teams can field as many university players as they like; the addition of a couple of plucky 2nd teams into the group stages just means the stakes, quality and pressure have never been higher. A year’s worth of bragging rights come from this hotly-contested tournament: if you miss that crucial penalty in the final, you go back to ribbing and revision, rather than a model girlfriend and a mansion. As the tournament heads into its quarter-final stage, there have already been plenty of surprises and controversy. Topping the list is Derwent 3rds shock humbling of Langwith 1sts; indeed, both Langwith - who sometimes turned up to games without eleven men - and Wentworth will have to take consolation in the Plate after being beaten by stronger 2nd teams from other colleges. Shock results and lower-ranked teams add to the spice of any cup, and Vanbrugh 2nds have emerged as this year’s surprise package, topping their group and joining Alcuin 1sts and James 1s as the only other teams with 100% win records. Defender Daniel Hewitt paid testament to their new style of on-thefloor football: “We’ve had to change our style of football, and it’s definitely worked: we’ve matched our physical ability with a bit more quality.”

Smiling optimistically, the bleachblonde (most of the Vanbrugh 2s have dyed their locks blonde, for charity and team unity) first-year said: “I don’t see any reason why we can’t beat Halifax 1sts; we were more than a match for Derwent, who had several uni players.” Despite their lofty status as double college league winners, Alcuin goalkeeper Myles Preston continues to play down his side’s chances: “I’ve never considered us favourites for the cup: the uni first team rule doesn’t exist in the college cup, which probably makes Goodricke or Halifax favourites.” Facing Derwent 1sts in the quarter final, he was quietly confident: “We haven’t peaked yet, and we have a lot of players out for our quarterfinal vs Derwent 1sts [a repeat of last years final] including our star player, Henry Smith. I’m still hopeful of us progressing.” His sharp tongue has also met with displeasure from some players; Halifax man Ian McKellow argued: “Myles Preston needs to be silenced, he was mouthing off on the sidelines of the Halifax v James match; I think he should do his talking on the pitch.” Meanwhile, Goodricke undoubtedly deserve their favourite tag. Though their passage to the quarter-finals was not quite as smooth as hoped for, as they were held 3-3 by Vanbrugh 1sts, they are always strong, and will be galvanised by the

return of several university players. In 1st XI threesome O’Shea, Ramsden and Wilson, they possess sublime talent. However, often promising so much à-la-Chelsea, success has not been forthcoming recently. Combative defender Remi Remington disagrees, suggesting: “I see us as more of a Man. Utd and Alcuin as Chelsea - we play the football but they just seem to get the job done! Hopefully we will have learned from our mistakes in the previous two terms, and I think that, as long as our concentration is 100%, we will win the cup!” Like Preston, Remington has also been no stranger to controversy during the group stages, being at the centre of a bust-up in an entertaining 3-3 draw with Vanbrugh 1sts. After the opposition struck a late equaliser, tempers frayed, as Remington struck out at Vanbrugh player Tristan Buckley. However, Remington was unapologetic about his actions: “Tristan runs over to me, grabs my face, and starts shouting something at me - but I couldn’t understand. It’s fair enough if he celebrates but he had no right to do that, so I pushed him away and gave him a light backhand to the cheek with an open hand! So it certainly wasn’t a punch and I don’t regret doing it.” After topping their group despite the 3-3 deadlock, the Goodricke 1st team will have the novel experience of facing their 2nd-team colleagues for a place in the semi-final: interest-

Group 1

Group 2

Group 3

Alcuin 1sts 3-0 Halifax 1sts Langwith 2nds 2-1 James 2nds Alcuin 1sts 2-0 James 2nds Halifax 1sts 2-0 Langwith 2nds Alcuin 1sts 4-1 Langwith 2nds Halifax 1sts 1-0 James 2nds

Halifax 2nds 2-1 Derwent 2nds Vanbrugh 1sts 3-0 Derwent 2nds Goodricke 1sts 1-0 Halifax 2nds Goodricke 1sts 3-3 Vanbrugh 1sts Goodricke 1sts 4-0 Derwent 2nds Halifax 2nds 0-0 Vanbrugh 1sts

Alcuin 2nds 7-1 Wentworth 1sts Vanbrugh 2nds 1-0 Wentworth 1sts Derwent 1sts 2-1 Alcuin 2nds Derwent 1sts 3-1 Wentworth 1sts Vanbrugh 2nds 3-2 Alcuin 2nds Vanbrugh 2nds 1-0 Derwent 1sts

Alcuin 1sts Halifax 1sts Langwith 2nds James 2nds

P 3 3 3 3

W 3 2 1 0

D 0 0 0 0

L 0 1 2 3

Pts 9 6 3 0

Goodricke 1sts Vanbrugh 1sts Halifax 2nds Derwent 2nds

P 3 3 3 3

W 2 1 1 0

D 1 2 1 0

L 0 0 1 3

Pts 7 5 4 0

Vanbrugh 2nds Derwent 1sts Alcuin 2nds Wentworth 1sts

P 3 3 3 3

W 3 2 1 0

D 0 0 0 0

L 0 1 2 3

Pts 9 6 3 0

Ed Ol-

Attempting to explain the reason for such a sea-change, Carter suggested that the AU had little option: “The thing is, if we [the AU] don’t agree to the £40, the Sports Centre are going to put their fees up to £35. ..So, it would have been £50.” Looking ahead to the next year, the 1st XI hockey player hopes to reinvest the money back into the clubs: “We’re doing this in conjunction with charging for the sports centre; we’re looking at, for instance, all the clubs paying for usage.” She also signalled that the AU have been given a certain allocation of hours for the sports centre that will be shared out among certain clubs. With a view to future reinvestment and placating the other half of the university’s sporting clubs, she persisted: “We’re looking to save a pot of money, which would be available for clubs who don’t use the Sports Centre.” Carter reiterated: “This [change] makes it simpler and easier; it’s not to

ingly, they are on a crash-course to meet fellow titans Alcuin in the cup final. While players from both teams have been trading playful verbal blows throughout the tournament, James 1sts have been quietly getting the job done in Group 4, taking all nine points on offer. Striker Jody Rolfe was delighted with their showing: “Our performances have been great this term: we only have one player returning from uni football. We have done really well, letting in only one

get more money.” However, the news has been greeted with shock by some of the clubs who retain AU affiliation without as active a usage of the facilities of some of the other societies; an insider at the cycling club branded it "ridiculous", stating that the only way the AU helps them currently is "in case we crash into a car. But we can get membership and insurance from the national cycling federation for much cheaper." On the other side of the coin, for gym bunnies, things things look rosier. “The new membership structure is really, really good,” beamed Carter. “It’s so much simpler: you can get gym membership, racket sports membership or combined (both of these) which is better value. The prices really, really haven’t gone up.” Carter has since stated that the price is "not set in stone," but AU members are having to face up to the prospect of unfairly inflated fees.

goal in three games and even that was a wonder strike from a Langwith player.” Rolfe pointed to captain Tristan Holdsworth and Mark Johnson as key performers so far. Indeed, captain Holdsworth fired a warning shot, stating: “Being tagged as ‘underdogs’ will benefit us and i think teams may underestimate our ability.”

Group 4

Quarter Final Draw

Derwent 3rds 2-1 Langwith 1sts James 1sts 2-0 Goodricke 2nds James 1sts 2-1 Langwith 1sts Derwent 1sts 3-1 Wentworth 1sts Goodricke 2nds 2-1 Derwent 3rds Langwith 1sts 1-1 Goodricke 2nds

Alcuin 1sts vs. Derwent 1sts (Monday 2 June, 11am, Astro) Halifax 1sts vs. Vanbrugh 2nds (Tuesday 3 June, 11am, Astro) Goodricke 1sts vs. Goodricke 2nds (Thursday 5 June, 11am, Astro) Vanbrugh 1sts vs. James 1sts (Monday 9 June, 11am, Astro)

James 1sts Goodricke 2nds Derwent 3rds Langwith 1sts

P 3 3 3 3

W 3 1 1 0

D 0 1 0 1

L 0 1 2 2

Pts 9 4 3 1

Tuesday June 3, 2008

Issue 189

SPORTVISION

VISION'S GUIDE TO EURO 2008

P41

AU HAVING A LAUGH? EXCLUSIVE

BY ANDY MCGRATH THE ATHLETIC Union will force students to pay for facilities they may not use, a Vision investigation can reveal. Previously, the memberships of the AU and Sports Centre have been separate. But with the centre's prices leaping next year, the AU have taken the controversial step of making membership of the latter compulsory, combining its fee with the more general AU membership, meaning a mouthwatering £25 increase for those not using facilities - a group estimated to comprise of half of the university's sportspeople. At the recent general meeting, the proposal to change the original £15 AU member fee to the dual AU/sports centre membership at £40 - an increase of 166% - was accepted, DESPITE many clubs not being present for

the vote. AU President Jo Carter was forthright, conceding: “It’s not great, I’m not going to say it’s amazing. The vote was purely indicative; there was no mandate [from me]… it was just a reflection of what the clubs want.” Underlining the disparity between the vote results and the meeting attendance, the departing president was surprised by the outcome: “The two-thirds majority surprised me, because only half of the clubs [at the university] use the sports centre. A number of clubs weren’t there, including men's football and rugby and women's football, rugby and cricket.”

New polic y l e aves students facing 166% fee increase

CONTINUED: Page 43

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