YORKVISION GUARDIAN STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR
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www.yorkvision.co.uk
Golden silvers
E FR GUI ESHER DE S T YO R O K
SCENE
T A N I NOM GUARDIAN MEDIA AWARDS
SCENE
R O F ED
TUESDAY October 14, 2008 ISSUE 191
FRE
white lies
Freshers fall victim to the...
COLLEGE CONMEN
BY DANIEL HEWITT
NEWLY-ARRIVED FRESHERS will face mass inequality on the price of Freshers Tickets after it emerged that some colleges were ripping off their new students. First year students are being forced to pay differences of up to £16 for tickets, despite most colleges hosting a similair if not exact schedule of events. Colleges are also including events such as Bar Quizzes and Provost meals as part of the ticket 'deal', despite the fact they are usually free. It will come as bad news for James College students who will be forced to pay £25 for their freshers week ticket, with Vanbrugh freshers paying only £9 . The news has prompted calls by some college chairs to create fixed prices. .
> FRESHERS DISH OUT £25 FOR EVENTS
> £16 DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COLLEGES > CALLS FOR FAIRER REGULATION
FULL STORY PAGE 6
ANOTHER ACCOMODATION COCK UP AS FRESHERS FORCED TO DOUBLE UP (P4)
2NEWS
YORK VISION
Tuesday October 14, 2008
your week QUOTE OF THE WEEK 3
"Ziggys is where all my dreams are fufilled
SINCE YORK YOU'VE BEEN RACE GONE... ROW "Bring Back Slavery" banners condemned by Scott
"
GOOD WEEK bad week GOOD WEEK
Salvation
Surely they are going to make more money than Nexus, right?
BAD WEEK
JAMES FRESHERS Ripped off, ripped off. Oh, and ripped off again.
the number cruncher 110
Displaced students.
3
Months York students will have to wait for the campus' first student venue.
0
Number of Freshers who haven't been ripped off.
JOIN US!
Fancy joining the best student paper in the country? No? Piss off then...ok, wait, come back! Visit our stall at the YUSU Fair (Saturday, Week 1) or email us at vision@york. ac.uk!
BY MARTIN WILLIAMS
>Vision reviews the changes made to York over the summer BY EMILY FAIRBAIRN FOLLOWING RECENT falls in University league tables York has undergone a facelift in an effort to reestablish its place amongst Britain's top universities. College funding has been transformed in a response to widespread criticism over the Universities miserly spending on students. Vision reported last year that York on average forked out £277 per student, below the national mean of £291. In return for surrendering their vending rights, Colleges are now to be given £2,500 per year to spend in termly installments. The aim of this is to put the colleges on a more equal financial footing and take pressure off making large profits from campus events. Successful colleges such as Derwent and Vanbrugh, who have had a high turnover from vending and popular events, theoretically lose out under this new arrangement. However, Vanbrugh Chair Matt Oliver is insistent that the new system "makes much more sense".
"The money gives colleges the chance to make campus and campus events a really big thing again," says Oliver. "The college’s money now counts as money spent on facilities, which pushes the university up the league tables, which is obviously ideal." With guaranteed income, colleges have greater freedom to try more adventurous projects, with Vanbrugh investing in live act Lolly for their Freshers Week event and Derwent proposing a college trip to Dublin. YUSU’s plans for the campus’ first student unionrun bar are still on target, with building work in Langwith going according to plan. Builders are hopeful that the refurbishment of the old college bar will be finished by New Year. Langwith has received a summer makeover, with Chair Zach Pepper enthusiastic about his college’s revamp, urging students to "go and have a look at our new covered walkway and artwork, it looks lovely." The Athletics Union has been rebranded ‘York Sport’ which YUSU claims will ‘bring unity and brand pride to sport
at York, and give [students] the best service ever.’ However, membership of York Sport has been increased to £40 and a new card system has been installed meaning that students wishing to join the gym must also purchase York Sport membership. The revamp has by no means won over mass support, with some questioning whether the changes are that positive. A second year gym member said: "I won’t be able to afford to go to the gym this year, which I think is really bad seeing as exercise is so important." YUSU hopes that despite this sport will still be more accessible this year, as colleges are now to be granted £10,500 to offer regular sessions of free college sports. Vanbrugh Chair Matt Oliver says: "It can be difficult to break into sports after Fresher’s Week or if you don’t wish to join a team, so this will hopefully make sport more approachable and encourage more people to take part." For more news on the rebranding of York Sports turn to Vision Sport and join in the debate.
YORK VISION Tuesday October 14, 2008
Alex Richman Rob Romans Deputy Editor: Sarah Stretton
Editors:
Scene Editor: Mike Regan Managing Editors: Sean Hodgkinson Ben Rayner Deputy Management: POST OPEN IT Editor: POST OPEN Deputy IT: POST OPEN News Editor: Daniel Hewitt Deputy News: Emily Fairbairn Martin Williams
Comment Editor: Mike Sims Deputy Comment: Harry Pearse Features Editors: Joe Burnham Emilie Roohan Deputy Features: Catherine Moore Hannah O’Shea Lifestyle Editors: Sally Makaruk Emily Hodges Deputy Lifestyle: Josie Whittle Rachel Knox Style Editors: Helen Nianias Immy Willets Deputy Style: Joanne Rea
RACE HATE expressed at an NUS conference has angered YUSU president Tom Scott, who has accused the organisation of failing to respond to racist comments that led to a police investigation. At an NUS training course held in York University over the summer, a delegate displayed a ‘Bring Back Slavery’ sign, whilst another delegate warned that having a wider range of students in a university would increase gun and knife crime. Tom Scott told Vision that “The NUS did not step in and they should have done”. The investigation by North Yorkshire Police found that both delegates had breached the NUS’ Equal Opportunities Policy. Furthermore, it upheld complaints of race hate regarding the slavery sign. The NUS President Wes Streeting has said in a statement that: “The individual (responsible for the sign) will not be able to attend any further NUS non-democratic events This is the maximum penalty that can be levied under the policy, and the recommendation was upheld by an appeal committee.” However the other delegate has been cleared of intention to cause offence. Nevertheless, police recommend he attends training sessions to make certain he is fully aware of the Equal Opportunities Policy of the NUS. Scott has made it clear that the investigations had no connection to students or officers from York, saying the NUS events “just happened to be held at York this year”. The NUS declined to talk to Vision about the investigation.
Guardian Student Newspaper of the Year 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2007 Food & Drink Editor: Lewis Colam Deputy F&D: Ollie Harvey Travel Editor: Alex Dale Deputy Travel: Andy Henrick Sports Editor: Andy McGrath Deputy Sports: Joseph Rahman James Norton Photo Editors: Juliet Burns Terry Li Deputy Photo: POST OPEN Sub Editor: Martin Williams Social Secretaries: Sally Makaruk Hannah O'Shea
Call us: 01904 433720 vision@yusu.org www.yorkvision.co.uk Opinions expressed in Vision are not necessarily those of the Editors, Senior Editorial Team, membership or advertisers. Every effort is made to ensure all articles are as factually correct as possible at the time of going to press, given the information available. Copyright Vision Newspapers, 2008. Printed by Yorkshire Web
NEWS
YORK VISION
Tuesday October 14, 2008
3
STUDENTS REVOLT OVER WEDNESDAY CLUB COUP
SEEKING SALVATION? BY MARTIN WILLIAMS SPORTS CLUBS in York have reacted with dismay over York Sport President Alex Lacy’s decision to ditch Ziggy’s as Wednesday club. ‘official’ night’s Instead, Lacy has signed a deal with Club Salvation, formerly the never-popular Nexus. Many sports club members have said they are dissapointed with the decision. One heart-broken social secretary confessed: “I have fallen in love with Ziggy’s... and still want it to be our place of utter stupidity.” Although previously Ziggy’s has had
the monopoly on Wednesday nights, Lacy criticised the club for having “a very primitive, non-existent working relationship with the Students’ Union.” Salvation on the other hand has been built “based on what the students and specifically what the sports clubs want.” Unlike Ziggy’s, admission to Salvation will be the whole of £3, with 50p going to of every advance ticket going to York Sport. But the change will not be an easy one, with some sports clubs only agreeing to go to Salvation for the first few weeks of term before
they make a decision. New football firsts camptain Matt Witherwick was shocked at the proposal, saying: "Ziggy's is where I fulfil all my student dreams, I am not seeking salvation!" Zach Pepper, Langwith Chair, agrees: “I give it a Salvation before month realise that the smell of a Wednesday night never washes out and their nightclub is ruined forever.” Lacy and York Sport have defended the decision, explaining that he believed Salvation would be the best place to “do unspeakable things which probably
i nvo l ve nudity or cross d r e s s ing.” But is it possible to have h at Ziggys another a typical nig : g in ss re d p l a c e Nudity and cross quite like Conservative Dan Taylor Ziggy’s? Uni who has encouraged STYC a Joe Rankin, Rugby player, has said “a Reps to “indoctrinate freshlarge number of people sup- ers on the institution of port the Ziggy’s tradition. Ziggys. If that’s done well Why is the AU trying to move enough, they won’t even consider going to this new place away from that?” Some have taken a more whatever it it’s called.” extreme approach to the situation, such as Campus
ANOTHER COLLEGE CHAIR FALLS AS GOODRICKE HEAD FAILS TO RETURN TO YORK
CLARKE KICKED OUT BY ROB ROMANS
GOODRICKE POPULAR COLLEGE CHAIR Joe Clarke has left York University, it has emerged. Clarke, who was in the second year of his management degree, failed his end of term exams and didn’t resit his exams when asked
to by his department. A Goodricke insider told Vision: “He has left University just because he failed his exams” she said, “He was a likeable person; he was Mr. Social. He did a good job and it won’t be the same without him. He devoted so much time to Goodricke College so it probably isn’t a surprise that he
failed his exams”. Clarke has been credited by members of Goodricke College for his devotion to the college and revamping Goodricke's events. Acting Goodricke co-chair Becky Turnbull told Vision "Joe dedicated all of his time to Goodricke, resulting in him dedicating none of his time to his
degree, which is why he is no longer at York." Turnbull and her co-vice chair Kate Saunders have taken over Clarke's responsibilties as chair. She inisists that "there isn’t any adjusting or suprises left now we’re all back in York", because the vice chairs had always worked closely
with Clarke. Over the summer the Vice Chairs have been involved in planning freshers week that "it feels like Joe's been gone a long time". Goodricke JCRC does not have any plans for a re-election.
4NEWS
student press We read them... ...so you don't have to Silver Lining Twenty-five bars of stolen silver bullion were found by astonished staff at Bristol’s Athletic Union amongst boxes of unused t-shirts. Epigram reports that the Union quickly found itself the centre of a police investigation as staff were initially suspects, until it was discovered that the delivery had been made by a courier with a history of crime. It is thought that the inept thief had accidently mixed up the £7500 worth of silver, intended to be trafficked to crime lords, with a box of University merchandise. The loot was then inadvertently delivered to the AU, who had no idea that they were sitting on a treasure trove.
Not Fees-able Oxford Uni Chancellor and former Tory minister Lord Patten has said the cap on tuition fees is “intolerably low”. The Cherwell writes that he would like to scrap the yearly cap of £3140 and potentially leave graduates in £50,000 worth of debt. But the university has said that these were only personal statements and that “Oxford hasn’t made any decisions”. Oxford students have reacted by accusing Patten of being “more interested in money than students.” Last year 42% of Oxford applicants were from private schools, although only 7% of school pupils are privately educated.
Forest Gump An Exeter student has become the first ever person to run the length of Britain solo, Expose reports. Dan Driver, a 20-year-old Psychology student, took just 17 days to run the 875 miles from John O’Groats and Land’s End, an average of over 50 miles a day. Although the distance has been run before, no one has done it without a support team, meaning that Driver had to carry a 6kg backpack the entire journey. In preparing for the challenge not only was he forced to abstain from alcohol for nine months, but he also took a “cocktail” of painkilling drugs. He admitted that it was “easily the most unpleasant thing I’ve ever done.”He raised around £3,000 for Cancer Research UK and hopes the donations will continue.
Con-demned Cambridge Student Union has accused a society of handing out unsafe condoms, Varsity reports. An email was sent to welfare officers and senior tutors, warning: “PLEASE DO NOT USE THESE CONDOMS.” The Students’ Union explained that they do not have a kitemark on them - the British Standards Institution approval mark. However, the society has retaliated by arguing that they “have no higher priority than our members’ continued enjoyment of a safe and By Emily Fairbairn and Martin Williams
satisfying sex life.”
YORK VISION
Tuesday October 14, 2008
STUDENT ROOM RAGE
DOUBLE OR QUITS BY VISION
BY EMILY FAIRBAIRN AND MARTIN WILLIAMS CHAOS HAS HIT campus for the fourth year in a row as many Freshers arrive to find that they have no place to call home. Numerous first-years face the daunting prospect of sharing a room with a complete stranger, whilst others are living in temporary accommodation with no idea where they are going next. accommodation The office has yet again failed to find rooms for as many as 30 Freshers, who face an uncertain future in conference rooms and privately rented houses in the notoriously dangerous Tang Hall area. One unfortunate fresher arrived on Saturday to find that he was the only student staying in remote conference centre Franklin House. Alcuin Vice Chair Tom Langrish, who is concerned for the Freshers' welfare, told
Vision: “he’s not feeling too great about the situation. But wherever Alcuin Freshers are we will take every effort to include them… there are a lot of reasons for this situation, none of them really excusable.” As the University struggles to cope with an unexpectedly large number of students, approximately 80 Freshers are to being squeezed into twin rooms. Their only chance of getting a room to themselves is if other students drop out. First Year English student Rachel told Vision "What you apply for, what you pay for and what you think you’re getting you miss out on. And you need to have privacy, especially in your first week." College welfare teams are being pro-active in looking after displaced students, who have at least all been assigned a college. However with no
additional specific welfare provision in place there are concerns that the scattered students could become isolated. and Societies YUSU’s Communications Officer Rory Shanks told Vision: “Our priority is getting students into beds… they’re sending them all over the place.” Although Shanks assured Vision that "the university is putting its hands in its pockets to resolve this problem’ he confesses that the emergency arrangements have ‘attracted a great amount of angst." The cause of the crisis is being blamed on a combination of administration problems, poor communication with prospective students and an unexpectedly high number of applicants accepting places. Student Support Service Manager Steve Page told Vision
VOICE OF THE FRESHERS... what pply foyr,ou think a u o y t "Wha or and what s out on. f is you paygetting you m privacy, you’reou need to havest week. " And y lly in your fir er especia in Fresh - Alcu
"This The unisn't what I s and i iversity h igned up to hapf I knew thiass let me dofwor. appliedpen I would was going n ." never h ave - Doub le Room Sharer
shh!
t a stu Was i eing b dent ted arres ugs for dr rket in Ma e last r Squa ay? Sund
"The number of unhoused students is statistically small but we recognise that they are real people… they don’t have anywhere to sleep, which is a big problem." Page admitted that the accommodation office had been swamped with complaints, particularly from students who as late as Friday still did not know if there would be a bed for them to sleep in. However, he is adamant that there will be a full investigation into what went wrong: "We will be putting all our energies into finding out why this happened and what we can do about it in future."
ring not shoaf shar'm I t a is ought cky th "I'm lum but the thlete strangerto do a roo ith a comp ately have ing w le. I'd defin it." terribthing about Year some s, First h t a M -
YORK VISION
Tuesday October 14, 2008
NEWS (ok, ADVERT)
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5
6NEWS
YORK VISION
Tuesday October 14, 2008
NOT 'JUST THE TICKET': PRICES WAY OVER FACE VALUE BY DANIEL HEWITT FRESHERS’ WEEK TICKET prices have been placed at the centre of a controversial price row after it emerged that some new first year students are being forced to pay over the odds for welcome week events. A huge disparity of the price of college tickets has seen some students pay up to £16 more than others. The hardest hit are residents of James College, with Freshers’ Week tickets costing a total of £25 plus £1 booking free, compared to Vanbrugh’s price of £9. James, one of York’s youngest colleges and currently without a bar, have this year joined up with Goodricke to host an event in the Roger Kirk Centre, dubbed “The Biggest College Event on Campus this Freshers’ Week”, as well as a James v Goodricke bar crawl. However, despite the shared events, the colleges have by no means agreed to match their prices. Goodricke are charging students £19.50, over £5 less than a college that is hosting the same events, but still over twice the price of the cheapest college ticket offered by Vanbrugh. Vanbrugh Chair Matt Oliver has called for a stop to false advertising, insisting that he didn’t believe it was right that some freshers were being charged more than others simply because they were in a different college. He said: “I can only talk about the price of my colleges’ tickets, but we are not including events that would usually cost nothing into the price of tickets, such as bar quizzes which are always free. We don’t believe in making a profit out of our freshers and we only want to charge them for things that would we charge for them ordinarily, such as bar crawls and Volume (formerly Planet V) events.” Alcuin Chair Erik O’Conner has called for a college consensus of ticket prices, with one fixed price across the entire system. “There has to be an agreement across all colleges when it comes to prices (of Freshers' Tickets),” he remarked, “But the problem is we never had time over the summer break to meet up with other chairs to discuss it. Whatever other colleges do is their business but it seems strange to have such differences in prices.” James Second Year Matt Johnson reacted angrily to the news that his college would be charging up to £16 more than other colleges. He said: “Why should we pay so much money when we get effectively the same events as every other college?
FRESHERS TICKET SWINDLE To pay so much money for a bar crawl and a night in Roger Kirk is disgraceful.” Other colleges offering the chance to purchase week tickets are Alcuin, who are charging only £11, and Derwent who are offering them at a price of £17. Oliver Lester, Derwent Chair, said that he believed his Freshers were getting a good deal from the tickets. “By buying a ticket you sav-
ing around £1.50 and you get the chance to eat with the Provost as well as receiving a Derwent t-shirt. We are in no way attempting to make a profit out of our first years and we believe they are getting a very good deal.” As the number cruncher shows though, the disparity in prices means that Freshers’ tickets are by no means breeding equality, especially when first year students are
NUMBER CRUNCHER What does your freshers ticket actually cost? Bar Quiz = FREE Provost Meal = FREE Queue Jump = £3 College Event = £5 T-Shirt= £5 F **king over Freshers = PRICELESS
allocated a college by the university but then asked to pay more than their counterparts in other colleges. The majority of York’s colleges have advertised their tickets on Facebook groups with a full itinerary of what they receive with their purchase. The standard college ticket gets most Freshers a bar quiz, a bar crawl, a dinner party or
JAMES
meeting with the Provost and one college event, such as Big-D’s “Slag and Drag” and Volume’s “Planet Pop”. But despite this James will charge students £25 for effectively the same deal as other colleges charging much less. When Vision attempted to contact James Chair Amber Britain for comment, we received no reply.
£25
GOODRICKE £19.50 DERWENT
£17
ALCUIN
£11.50
VANBRUGH £9
YORK VISION
COMMENT
Tuesday October 14, 2008
7
The voice of (treason) reason...
Not quite gone... but forgotten when drunk
I
n memory of Ziggy's. Dating from the era when sweat boxes were popular and clubs had a disregard for the safety... to the era when sweat boxes are just as popular and we'd still rather have fun than stress about a fire escape.
No, Ziggy's hasn't shut down... and those of us who embrace the spirit of the hole will carry on going. We all want to support York Sport, but how can we abandon our beloved old Wednesday nights? £3 instead of nothing? That's no deal. No matter how much Alex Lacy likes it in Club Salvation.
"Paradise" hotel
T
ROBERT ROMANS PICTURE THIS: It is your first day of University; you arrive on campus, go to the room that the accommodation office has organised for you in the halls of residence and meet your new housemates (and hopefully friends for life). This is what the first week of University is partly for. You also discover that there are a group of second and third year students who are there to help you settle in, help you make new friends and adjust to university life. Sounds perfect doesn’t it? Well, yes it does. This is what the first day of university should be like (including vast amounts of alcohol and socialising too, don’t forget. Just be sensible about it). Now picture this: Your place at university is confirmed, you arrive to discover that one of these things has happened: 1) Your room has been double booked and is occupied by someone else, 2) You have to share a room with someone else (hopefully not a bed as well) or, 3), They don’t have an-
ywhere to put you on campus and you have to spend the first few days/ weeks/ months/ entirety of time at university (delete as applicable) in a hotel. Or worse, a tent. Thankfully no students have been subjected to life in a mouldy tent on Walmgate Stray but considering the latest blunders by the university, the chances of a student spending the first night of their time at university in a tent wouldn’t be a surprise. This has been a theme at this university for a while now; it’s more boring than a repeat of El Dorado on UK Gold. It gets worse too: you have to pay £25 for a ticket for a week’s worth of over-priced events. Oh, and you have to pay up to £16 more than most students too. In short, it’s a bit of a joke isn’t it? The prices hardly promote equality, particularly when first year students are allocated to a college by the university. (It is worth noting that this year’s policy of allowing students to choose which college they want to be in has caused trou-
he accomodation in Franklin house, used for conference parties is supposed to be quite decent. However, it is not quite the real deal for those expecting a proper Freshers' week is it? Whilst those in Franklin House will try to make York's newest students as welcome as possible, they'll struggle to offer what is already available to the lucky few who have managed to swing a room on campus.
Hopefully is actually the real deal. How about they get our Vice-Chancellor Brian Cantor to be in charge of the Freshers' Week entertainment in Franklin House? I wouldn't pay £9 for that, let alone £25.
ble.) and then have to pay more than students in other colleges. Who takes the blame for the ticketing fiasco? Those at college level. Who takes the blame for the latest accommodation crisis? The university. Trying to accommodate more students than the university can accommodate isn’t the brightest of ideas. Thanks to this calamitous incident, some students are now facing an uncertain future. Those affected are human beings; the possible welfare issues that could develop out of this could have serious consequences for the manner in which current students and those outside of the University of York bubble / those considering entering it (Come on in, you'll love it.) perceive the university and the way it is run. No wonder at times that this university is ranked low in terms of student satisfaction. The first week of university should be a memorable experience for the right reasons, not the wrong ones.
< Roger Kirk Centre: Fancy a night out here? Yours for anything between £9 and £25.
LETTERS
Write to us: Vision Letters, Grimston House Email us: vision@york.ac.uk
Vision-believable!
A
s if our utter dominance at last year's Guardian Student Media Awards wasn't enough - we bagged three gongs, including Newspaper of the Year - we've got a whopping four nominations for the 2008 ceremony. Former editors Adam Thorn and Thomas Michael Sheldrick, Anna Wormleighton and handsome leader writer Alex Richman are all up for individual honours. The haul of four writing nominations is more than any other newspaper in the country, meaning Vision is officially home to the best student journalism.
We'd like to thank everyone that contributes to York Vision. Every single member is special, and we're immensely proud to call ourselves a part of the greatest student rag in Britain.
flowers h it w , r e h s s a Fre I wish I wa . in my hair.. Tuesday June 24, 2008
e reclaim u could help m ondering if yo w as w I So Fresher again! … I want to be a -free first year innocent, care an as lift, reus my stat to have a face d pay for me ul Or maybe co n. u ai Yo ag s. h ay e look all fres is in several w m e th ak again do m d 18 ul to m co ce You f my fa tails so that I’ s of excess of s–I y personal de rd m co g re in r dl ei moving 2 year fid th f Derek, of e e the Uni in to middle name, s for me to liv you could brib it, remove my hut on campu at ud re m u’ or yo ed le sh hi (and w d build a rhaps you coul hate it). Or pe odricke, the in. corridors of Go n. I miss the ai ith the hair w ag r up he d es ge Fr erate to be a s that are clog er sp de ow st sh . e ju ge th m , id I’ or ick in the fr the kitchen flo ld 3 inches th pool of sick on e layers of mou th , le op pe r of 15 othe
Dear Vision,
ly,
Yours sincere
(shit, Dan, 3rd year
ish student
gl 3rd year!) En
Hello Dan, and welcome to the first issue of Vision of the new academic year! While we at Vision unfortunately can’t transport you back to your first day in York via some sort of marvellous time machine, we have conjured up a sparkly, shiny special Freshers Guide for your pleasure. So sit back, soak in its tips, then go and behave like a Fresher all over again!
3
8COMMENT
YORK VISION
COLUMNS
HEWITT
F
"Some of your flatmates will be wankers" floor with a pint in one hand and a sexual organ in the other, tediously screeching the words to Five's 'Everybody Get Up' for the fifth time that evening. This might not have happened to you yet - you may very well be having a great time - but these words of wisdom are for the curmudgeons amongst us, those who can’t help but feel that there is something a bit too forced about this week. You’re forced to instantly fall in love with all of your flatmates, fall in love with the city, fall in love with your course and exclaim from the rooftops your undying adoration for the university experience. But for some people it just doesn’t work like that; it didn’t for me. It takes time. There is nobody there to tell you that some of your flatmates will be wankers, that some nights you’ll just think that this place is pretty shit and that somtimes you'll just want to go home. But there is nothing wrong with thinking that. This week is organised by second and third year students with the beauty of hindsight, who have blocked out the bad times for the sake of not just your experience, but their own. But allow me to be the one that warns you not to be disheartened by the myth of Freshers Week, and reassure you that the university experience is exactly that: an experience, not based on the first week but the next eighty-nine. (Don't worry, Dan's managed to pick up a few friends and hobbies along the way, despite being such a miserable sod! - Ed.)
FRESHERS SPECIA L
Have you YES, SAYS made the MIKE SIMS right call?
DAN
reshers week is the best week of your University life! These ten words are possibly the most deceitful you will hear during your time at York. For you first years, turning the pages of this paper for the very first time, allow me to be the one to tell you that it is very unlikely that the next few days will be your most enjoyable. There is without doubt an unfair burden placed upon freshers to immediately fall in love with the university lifestyle, and very little reassurance to those whose experiences do not match their expectations. And why would they? If you went out in your local town, accompanied by no one but a group of complete strangers, how many of us could honestly say it would be the best night of our lives? This is, in essence, what Week 1 is. A time filled with alien activities, in an alien city, accompanied by alien people. You are forced to ‘neck’ everything and everyone put in front of you, revolve repeatedly on a mechanically-powered dance
Tuesday October 14, 2008
W
e l c o m e , freshers, and returning students! Some time ago now, we will all have scoured dozens of prospectuses, carefully gathering them from open days and fairs. York’s prospectus obviously appealed to you the most, because you are hear reading this. But did you make right decision? Congratulations, because I think you have! In short, the Uni has an infectious vibe and you’ll have a great time, and York (the city) is a wicked little place that you may well end up living in after you’ve graduated. The campus, while it may resemble a building site, is benefiting from new and upgraded accommodation (like those very attractive new blocks in Vanbrugh that were new for last year) and of course the Heslington East expansion offers a new site close to the current main campus.
"In short, the Uni has an infectious vibe and you’ll have a great time" Our campus is thankfully devoid of hills (perfect for trotting across campus at 9.13am when you’re in a rush for an early morning lecture), and if you happen to have a duck fetish, then my word have you come to the right place! Ducks and other such creatures litter our campus like no other Uni in the country, so if you have an unhealthy obsession with water birds then come on down! The Uni’s college system really does make you feel like you belong in a community, and your sense of loyalty and pride to your college (even if you didn’t necessarily chose it) will soon see you declaring yours to be the maddest and baddest of the lot. Spirits are high, drop out rates are low, and you’ll rapidly grow attached to your room, housemates and college.
"So if you have an unhealthy obsession with water birds then come on down!" The city of York is also a great place to be in (especially at Christmas), with a good selection of shops and a genuinely friendly atmos-
phere. My lists of must-do things include going up the Minster for breathtaking views, visiting Evil Eye for Sunday lunch and a cocktail (cocktail in the singular sense, as they do tug at your wallet quite heavily), devouring buy-one-get-onefree cocktails in Dusk, and doing something tourist-y (like going on a river boat, visiting the Dungeon, going on the York Eye or visiting the famous Railway Museum). Also, we’re in a beautiful part of the country. Go and see the North Yorkshire Moors! In my first year I went on an organised Goodricke trip where a coach-load of us went hiking an hour or so north of York, and it was one of the best experiences of my first year. I almost didn’t bother because the coach left at 10am on a Saturday morning and I wanted a lie-in, but it’s definitely worth the effort and I don’t regret trading a lazy day of ZZZZ’s for a day of sheep, sheep poo and a well-deserved sarnie in Pickering. Another advantage that York has over many other Uni’s that is easy to overlook is the plethora of accommodation near to the campus for students to move in to in their second and third years. Several of my friends at other Uni’s moan to me about how they have 20 or 30 minute bus rides to get to their lectures, which wastes time and money. But York has plenty of housing near to the campus – Heslington Road and Hull Road, for instance, are only 10 minute walks away. The great sporting fix-
"The annual dual with Lancaster creates a tidal wave of spirit and togetherness across campus" ture that is Roses is also a highlight for many, whether you are ferociously sportsminded or not. The annual dual with Lancaster creates a tidal wave of spirit and togetherness across campus (especially after last year’s dramatic triumph). Bring on next year! Overall, then, York is a fine place to spend three years (or maybe even longer if you decide to study/ live here after graduation). Throw yourself in to Freshers Week, because the more you put in to it the more you get out of it, and you’ll have a ducking good time.
NO, SAYS HARRY PEARSE
Y
You’ve rapaciously swept through Ikea, adorned your otherwise sterile dorm room with your favourite posters, and your parents have gushingly described their “formative student experiences.” In short, your university adventure has begun, and if you’re reading this rag, your migration to York is complete. Now, in order to avoid a lynching, I need to be emphatic on this point; I wouldn’t delight in seeing our newest arrivals crippled by pangs of regret . In fact, I (mostly) endorse Mike Sims’ more exuberant York eulogy. My objective is merely to identify certain shortcomings now so they don’t bring you painfully crashing down to earth at a later date. Let’s start with the obvious. The paucity of architectural subtleties on campus has probably not evaded your notice, but the long term effects of feeling incarcerated in a concrete spaceship will as yet be a mystery to you. Over time the grey buttes assume a more ominous character, and when shrouded in mist and rain, create a morbidly bleak panorama. To stave off visual malaise ensure you leave the campus wart for the quaint attractions of the city centre; you’ll find the Minister somewhat more prepossessing than Central Hall. However, once you’ve had your fill of cream teas and cobbled streets, be aware that York’s historic walls have ensconced you in a tourist haven for the over seventies and their weight in numbers should not be underestimated. While their presence ensures a plethora of delicious bakeries stay solvent, their limited needs and inevitably slow lifestyle have suffused the entire city. Furniture shops have replaced gig venues and the cities febrile club scene often feels like a homage to the hospital ward Christmas parties that York’s majority demographic is more accustomed to. Thankfully doom and gloom is not entirely justified. Hidden social gems do exist if one has the gumption to deviate from the Tru/Ziggys/Gallery tour, and Leeds, our magnificent regional metropolis, is a paltry twenty minute train ride away. But back to our own fair town. As you cast your gaze around your newfound campus brethren you may notice something bizarre. Though you are in
no immediate danger you should tread with care. What you are expe-
"The long term effects of feeling incarcerated in a concrete spaceship will as yet be a mystery to you" riencing is the nausea induced by acute exposure to biochemists and public school boys. Neither cohort seamlessly fits into normal society but universities in general are rightfully inclusive places, and York in particular has an overdeveloped affinity with these two groups. Sadly their overrepresentation has precluded a broader degree of diversity. Rugby playing boys from fee paying schools are almost invariably white, middle class kids with a misplaced sense of entitlement. Our propensity to accept these people and not confine them to their worlds of privilege and self-satisfaction is commendable but costs us a richer ethnic, social and cultural variation that makes the real world an endlessly interesting and enjoyable place. Biochemists may be lovely
"What you are experiencing is the nausea induced by acute exposure to biochemists and public school boys" people, but their unnaturally sickly pallor’s send shivers down my spine... BUT! This is your first week at university. Dismiss what I’ve said for now; I’m an irritating, curmudgeonly old fart. Bask in your state of freedom, enjoy your time here, and make the most of things. The above caveats are only warning signs, posted so you can avoid them, or better still, put a positive slant on. Your three years of malnourishment and poverty are billed as the best of your life. They may well be, but don’t let other peoples experiences or your preconceived expectations oppress you. Reality is never as glossy as the fantasies constructed by you and other people so just enjoy what’s there.
YORK VISION
UNFUNNY
9
THE SKETCH
Tuesday October 14, 2008
YORKVISI N
Draaaaaaaaaaaaaawing out the truth...
EY UP! Meet Joe Spark
2008/09 academic year events oddschecker
BY PIERS BERLINER MORGAN POST HE WAS the former Goodricke chair, hell-raiser and party boy. He is now... nothing. Meet Joe Spark. Spark told EY UP in an emotional interview from his swanky Cell Block C Penthouse: "I am the ladiezzz man, yes, I am sooo cool. Sooo cool." he continued "Blankenburg? Hey we should've gone to Zeebrugge. It's the party captial of Luxembourgoisy land innit?" Spark denied claims that he was told to leave York after trying to turn Goodricke dining hall into the York branch of Spearmint Rhino strip clubs.
FANCY A FLUTTER?
10 - 1: Less than 5 people attend a Halifax College event. If they find a place to have any... 25 - 1: The next YUSU President isn't a pirate.
50 - 1: The campus gets taken over by a duck-led mutiny. Absolutely quackers. "Come and get it ladiezzzz"
100 - 1: Wentworth College coming top of the College Sport standings. (Note: The University has a better chance of being sucked into the Hadron collider).
TV Celeb Joins York
E XC I T E M E N T GRIPPED campus as fictional character Michelle from Skins joined the university. The unusually-nippled, best-friend banging virago began her English degree yesterday, leaving the bosom of Bristol after a tumultuous year which saw close friend Chris from Skins die of a brain haemmorrhage. A number of students claim to have spotted Michelle, but conflicting reports leave us unsure as to whether she's actually like really down-to-earth, or actually kind of a stuckup bitch. For more, see page 14
How can 2.8 million pairs of feet make less of a footprint? With 1.3 million employees and 1.5 million patients travelling to and from NHS facilities every day, it’s no wonder that 5% of the UK’s transportation emissions are attributable to the organisation. So how can we protect the health of our nation, without damaging the health of our planet? Join our Graduate Management Training Scheme and you’ll be tackling questions just like this. With a £100 billion budget, we’re one of the world’s largest and most innovative organisations, finding solutions to some of the country’s biggest issues. Whatever your degree, our world-class training and development will give you the skills you need to lead and influence change, push the boundaries and help keep Britain – and the NHS – in good health.
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10 FEATURES
YORK VISION
FEATURES
Tuesday October, 14 2008
THE LIFE EXPECTANCY OF A GERBIL YORK DRIVERS UNCUT IS FOUR TO FIVE YEARS
inside MAN #14 - Advice to Freshers You know what? I refuse to pander to freshers. Everyone does it. Don’t get me wrong – I love freshers; I love the sound they make when they realize they’re going the wrong way and squeak slightly before rotating on their axis. It’s positively cute. I don’t think, as a species, they require careful attention or protection - they’ve already moved up here, they’ve already signed the documents - they’re our property now. Or, to put things more humanely, they’re probably pretty good at taking care of themselves. Despite what the fire wardens have tried to scare them into doing, no one here is watching them with a careful eye, wary that they’re going to paint the walls with gasoline. They’ve obviously got enough theoretical knowledge to survive this far, so I’d like to start giving the little blighters some credit. As such I refuse to treat them like delicate, dumb hamsters. However, with that said, I think a little practical advice is always useful. I’ve thought about it over a few days, and pooled together some things a youthful fresher should know. Undoubtedly by now you’ll be sick of hearing about gonorrhea and the many misconceptions which surround it. To clear some things up: firstly, geese are obviously unable to spread the disease as they have no teeth to speak of, so anyone who claims that they’re a major problem is just trying to scare you. Ducks are a different matter: although they can’t bite you, they’ve become quite accustomed to spitting. If a duck is worried or aggressive, it often sprays a saliva-like substance with surprising velocity towards your face. This is often harmless, but due to the initial duck-gonorrhea outbreak which occurred in late 2006, if any of the spittle connects with your eyes or open wounds you should immediately ingest large portions of salted milk. (Due to it’s various antibacterial properties, of course.) Still, this is relatively rare, afflicting only nineteen students last year. Students should also be aware that YUSU president Tom Scott’s nickname ‘Mad Cap’n Tom’ was created in incredibly bad taste, after President Scott made a declaration while campaigning on the issue of supporting students with dementia. The name was introduced by a bitter joke candidate upon losing. As a last note, there’s not a single secret society operating within the university. Any claims to the contrary are ridiculous; especially rumours that the ‘building with no name’, accessible from the Chemistry bridge, acts a headquarters.
WE CAN WORK IT OUT Although 'work' isn't normally associated with students, Zoe Stones dives into the legal loopholes and employee exasperation surrounding our workplace rights...
I
t’s been a long, lean and rainy summer, and many of us will have spent the last few months - whether in dear York or further afield - locked away in dingy offices and pubs working for our wellneeded rent money. According to a recent survey by the National Union of Students, a staggering 75% of us rely on part-time or temporary work to make ends meet, and whether we’re working for our bills or simply want a bit of extra cash to splash at Gallery, our meagre student loans just don’t seem to be enough. Judging by what the news seems to be telling us, our rising debt, along with the current unfavourable economic climate, means that we need this extra dough more than ever. But as students, usually in part-time or temporary posts, what kind of employment rights do we have? Whether you’ve been unsure about the legality of your ten-hour break-less shift, or
your miserably small pay-packet, this guide is designed to inform you of all that you are entitled to as a student employee.
Half-Timer The first and most important thing to get across is that as a part-time or temporary employee, your rights are almost identical to those of a full-time, permanent worker. All legislation regarding basic employment rights, such as the minimum wage and the right to a safe working environment, apply to all and there is no minimum set of hours which you have to work to be legally entitled to these basics. For example, a part-time employee must be paid the same hourly wage as a full-time worker doing the same job, and holiday entitlement is given to all employees. This of course does not mean that you will end up with the same amount of money or holiday as a
75% of us students rely on part-time or temporary work to make ends meet
full-time worker, but it does mean that you should be paid the same rate per hour of work, and you should be given the same proportionate number of days off. As the minimum holiday entitlement for employees is currently 4.8 weeks, a fulltime employee working five days a week would receive at least 24 (4.8 x 5) days off a year, while a student with a Saturday job would receive 4.8 (4.8 x 1) Saturdays off. Student workers should be treated with exactly the same professionalism and respect as those working on full-time permanent contracts.
bank account, your boss is breaking the law if they do not pay you at least this hourly rate, no matter how terrible you are at the job! If you are between 18 and 21, the minimum wage stands at £4.77 per hour, and for those l u c k y enough to be aged 22 or over, it's £5.73. If you are being paid on commission, you must receive at least this amount per hour, even if, you have made no sales. However, your earned commission may be included within this minimum payment. If your employer wishes to deduct pay for uniform or transport, you must still receive the minimum wage, no matter how stylish or expensive the threads are. Many employers get around this by encouraging you to purchase your own uniform - the sly devils! It’s simple stuff, but you’d be surprised by how many people, especially when employed on
...your rights are almost identical to those of a full-time worker
If You Got the Money Rate of pay is one of the most talked about aspect of employment, and indeed money is the reason why most of us bother working at all. As of 1st October, a new national minimum wage has come into place, and regardless of whether your work is paid cash-in-hand or through your
YORK VISION
FEATURES
Tuesday October, 14 2008
S L A U S I V N O I VIS
11
CONFESSIONS ie b b a c a f o
Those nice men and women that drive you home after one too many sambuccas have had enough. Each week Vision brings you another of their student-exposing confessions.
£5.73 an hour if you're 22 or over
£4.77 an hour if you're between 18-21
a casual basis, don’t receive the dosh they deserve. If you don’t think you’re being paid enough, visit www.businesslink.gov.uk/employment, or phone the Minimum Wage Helpline on 0845 6000 678.
I Want to Break Free!
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The problem comes when an employer is unsure which tax to apply to your earnings
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A boss’s refusal to allow you a twenty minute break is illegal
simple: if you are going to have earned more than £6,035 between 1st April 2008 and 31st March 2009, then you are going to pay income tax, which works out at between 10% and 40% of your earned income. The more you earn, the higher the percentage of your earnings you pay in tax. If you are earning more than £105 per week, irrespective of whether you will meet the £6,035 threshold or not, you will be expected to pay national insurance contributions, but not necessarily income tax, which works out at 11% of your earned income. As a student who is working during the holidays, a convenient and easy way of avoiding the dreaded income tax is by filling in the P38(S) form, which can be found at http:// www.hmrc.gov.uk/forms/p38s. pdf, and handing it in to your employer as soon as physically possible! The problem comes when an employer is unsure which tax to apply to your earnings, and you are put on what is called ‘emergency tax’,
Taxman
Tax is boring, confusing and, until you need new street lamps, a bit of a pain. But have no fear! Once you know how to sort out all things tax-related, you’re pretty much King of the World and should never have to worry about anything ever again. It’s actually quite
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Breaks: another source of controversy and much confusion. The unfortunate reality is that your entitlement for breaks can seem rather minimal (or in other words, a little bit rubbish). If a shift lasts less than six hours, then your employer does not have to give you any rest time at all. It is only when you are expected to work m o r e than six hours at a stretch that you are entitled to one twenty-minute break. This doesn’t have to be paid, and your boss can dictate when the break is to be taken. It is important to remember that two ten-minute breaks or four five-minute breaks are not equivalent or adequate, and a boss’s refusal to allow you the full whack is illegal. Some employers may try to get around this by putting your break at the beginning or end of the day, but this too is illegal and, thankfully, you are allowed to escape the employment premises during your break - phew! You are strongly recommended to take your breaks, although you don’t necessarily have to, but your boss can actually force
you to take your allotted time off if they feel so inclined. The maximum working week is another tricky issue and one that inspires many a rumour. It is true that you should not be made to work more than 48 hours a week, but if you choose to opt out of this limit - which you must do in writing - you may work as much as you like. You cannot, however, be penalised if you refuse to optout. The hours of work are also calculated on a 17-week basis, so if you work 50 hours for 10 weeks, and then just 35 hours for 7 weeks, your 17 week average is just 44 hours, which means the you are well within the legal limit. You are entitled to an 11-hour gap between the end of one working day and the beginning of another, so you should keep an eye on your times. If you regularly work between 11pm and 6am then you are classed as a night worker and aren’t allowed (they just won’t let you!) to opt out of the maximum 48 hour week.
which is around 20%. As a student earning less than £6,035 in the financial year and who has been put on emergency tax, you will need to apply for a tax refund. If you are still
working, you need to speak your current employer and ask them to inform their tax office concerning your need of a refund. They may have all the information they require, or they may send you some forms to fill in, but your refund will appear in your pay packet – easy! If you’re no longer working, you will need to fill in a P50 form, which can be found at http://www.hmrc.gov. uk/pdfs/p50.pdf and send it to your tax office, which you can check at http://search2.hmrc. gov.uk/kbroker/hmrc/locator/ locator.jsp?type=1. You can get back several hundred pounds in tax refunds, it really isn’t that hard and it’s really worth the effort, so just go for it!
Work It
Of course, working can also be an incredibly positive experience. In terms of building confidence, giving you a sense of satisfaction and improving your CV, there is nothing to rival it, and it can even be enjoyable! As students, we are more equipped than most to be able to stand up for our rights, so it is important to consider our co-workers who may lack either the confidence or the knowledge to be able to do so. A polite and well informed conversation with your employer could not only help you out, but also give many others an improved experience at work
If you have any queries about employment or tax, visit http://www.direct.gov. uk/en/Employment/index. htm or the Citizens Advice Bureau at http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk.
Got an idea? Email Features@YorkVision.co.uk!
I’d just like to say a quick and very warm welcome to all the new freshers at the University of York! A lot of you will probably meet me over the next three years as I ferry you around the city, pick you up at Sainsbury’s and scrape you off the street outside Ziggy’s. Over the years I’ve picked up quite a few freshers from the train station who have had to travel to university by train instead of getting a lift with family for some reason; usually because they’ve come from overseas. About three years ago I picked a guy up from the station and took him to campus, Derwent I think. I felt a bit sorry for him as he looked so lost and alone, so I offered to help with his suitcase and bags. But he wouldn’t let me carry the one bag, telling me he had brought his gerbil with him. I laughed. Then I heard a squeak and a clawing sound come from inside it. And I laughed even more. The life expectancy of a gerbil is about 4-5 years (if you’re wondering how I know such a fact, it’s because my daughter has a little gerbil, Fluffy), and so there’s a good chance that the guy’s furry friend is still alive somewhere. Another incident that stands out for me was when a female fresher thought that she had a private kitchen all to herself when I helped her move in to her halls about five years ago. She was in Vanbrugh, and I assisted the lass and her mum by carrying boxes and bags up to her room. She asked me if I could put one of the boxes in the kitchen, and when she followed me in there she yelled, quite loudly, “Woah, look at MY kitchen!” She then went round exclaiming how she had quite a lot of drawers and cupboards just for one person, and that she didn’t have enough food to fill the entire freezer. When a couple of her new housemates walked in and started making tea and putting things away, the look of horror and surprise on her face was priceless. It looked like the little princess would have to share and use a communal space after all. York is a great place to live and study. As a taxi driver I’ve seen both the good and the bad sides of the city, but the former certainly dominates. The city centre is generally safe and friendly, even at night (especially weeknights, when students are usually out and about), and the student scene is definitely alive and kicking. All that remains for me to say is have a great Freshers Week, and I’ll see you outside Gallery at 3am!
As told to Mike Sims
12FEATURES
YORK VISION
Tuesday October 14, 2008
FEATURES
L A V I E T G S N E F A A CH F O
Forget the popularity of your Readings and Downloads as Joseph Burnham shares some tales of alternatives...
favourite being the sight of Panic At The Disco!’s Brendon Urie being knocked unconscious by a speeding bottle – YouTube it), but sometimes it wore thin. In order to avoid libel, I probably shouldn’t mention specifics, although I’d suggest the Hell’s Angels would likely provide more compassionate security than what I’ve witnessed from the officials. Plus, I got heatstroke; something inherently geeky to suffer from, but with water costing £2 I didn’t exactly have remedies aplenty. I digress. Over time, I began to become more curious about alternative ways to spend a summer weekend. After a brief period of camping experimentation (in which I discovered, among other things, that certain folksy-style outhouses weren’t designed for people over six feett, causing my head to pop up in plain view over the door), I began to realize that, inherently, the music festival arrangement is best; camping without music generally leads to people sitting around, wishing they had more music. Therefore, in the spirit
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Oh, I also got married in a mass hand-fastening ceremony; apparently it’s only emotionallyvalid for 365 days though
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of new experiences, I’d like to tell you about some alternative festival adventures of my own. The first alternative summer festival I ever attempted was WOMAD (World of Music, Arts and Dance) in Reading located, as it happens, on the same field as the aforementioned festival. The event was far more burlesque than anything I’ve been to before – and to be perfectly honest, my memories of it are limited to getting a henna Star of David tattooed on my forehead and getting annoyed because I missed 'that guy' from Led Zeppelin performing on stage. I’d love to give you all more information, but it was one of those* weekends. Next up was Latitude, marked by a distinct lack of deodorant cans being combined with fires, and held in Suffolk. Latitude has made its name recently by placing less emphasis on their music acts, and much more on comedy alongside other cultural exhibitions. Obviously, as a Norfolk boy in Suffolk, I was quite aware that there’s a danger of something like this coming off as pretentious, and that’s probably true to an extent. To be honest, it’ll probably depend on the person – while I think the majority of people will enjoy some distractions from music, it takes a degree of commit-
People aren’t attracted to the idea of abandoning their (unisex) hair straighteners and microwavable pizza
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or the record, there’s nothing more irritating than the type of person who believes that every subjective suggestion of personality reflects a burning desire to ‘be different’, and that by default humans will naturally wear brand-name clothing and listen to Kings of Leon. It’s these types of people who look at alternative festivals with distain, probably reverting to mental stock footage depicting a few hippies hitting a tambourine around a fire and asking why more people haven’t heard of the Brian Jonestown Massacre. Either that, or people aren’t attracted to the idea of abandoning their (unisex) hair straighteners and microwavable pizza when world-famous music isn’t factored into the bargain. And, to be honest, I used to agree with them. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably already experienced the annual Reading Music Festival (or the Leeds equivalent, which apparently can be slightly gruffer according to several southern sources). You learned what it feels like to be treated like a sardine, sent from location to location, barely pausing to stop for overpriced chips and overly-cramped I-hope-to-God-abovethe-people-in-the-nexttent-aren’t-doing-what-Ithink-they’re-doing style camping arrangements. Personally I don’t have a lot of guts for this; granted, I’ve had some brilliant times at Reading (my
ment to sit through more than an hour of the Poetry Tent. Don’t get me wrong, I’m down with energetic rascals name-checking Jeremy Clarkson while free-rhyming about the cultural decline of middle-England, but I can certainly see why it wouldn’t be to everyone’s taste. The pretension was addressed overtly throughout the event, topped by a fantastically absurd moment when the Royal Shakespeare Company had their play cut short by a zombie attack; members of the cast were bitten, at which point they roamed around and bit others, causing the audience to quickly disband. The festival had other, more personal, experiences for me. Over the course of the weekend I attempted speed-dating (which I found very similar to speed-rejection), met Ross Noble (the conversation ended when my friend Lee asked him for a kiss and was turned down before speedily taking the liberty anyway), and discovered what psychedelic rice pudding tastes like. Oh, and I also got married in a mass hand-fastening ceremony, although it's apparently only emotionally-valid for 365 days. To conclude, there’s more to the festival experience than simply tolerating the conditions until your favourite band comes on. If you relax a little, open your mind, and learn to actually embrace the unexpected, you can find some real treasures. *If you haven’t experienced one of those weekends, you’re more qualified than me for every existing form of employment.
Want to join in the fun? Say hello to Vision at the YUSU Fair (Saturday Week 1)
YORK VISION
LIFESTYLE
LIFESTYLE
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Tuesday October 14, 2008
8 1 P
>STYLE
>DRINK
>FOOD
>TRAVEL
Desperate Measures Sally Makaruk kits you out with some things you just didn't expect to need.
FRESHERS GUIDE
0 2 P TREAT YOUR FEET
1 2 P
SUPERMARKET SWEEP
S
o you’ve come to University thinking that you couldn’t be more prepared with eight plates and eight bowls and a 16 piece cutlery set. Unfortunately, you have arrived to find that there were just a few essentials, or things that now seem essential, that you just didn’t bring along. Fret not! Vision is here to help with some makeshift and dignity-saving ideas.
essentials (pictured), we made an amazing “Wondergirl” superhero costume. Taking only 3.25 minutes to make, it probably cost less than £1! And if you don’t have access to these materials, there’s nothing that can’t be made out of your bed sheet (think Toga or Ghost/Mummy and preferably avoid cutting it up) or the ridiculous amount of tea towels that your mum made you bring.
You used to be way too cool for all this dressing up lark, but since you’ve come to University all of your morals and hard-earned street-cred have gone out of the window! Your major dilemma: You have a fancy dress event or party and you don’t have anything to wear. You have two options. You could get yourself off to Fulford fancy dress shop, “Fantasy World,” full of magical costume delights, where you can hire anything from a cowboy costume to fancy dress drag. But if you’re too hungover for the journey or still don’t even know where Central Hall is, let alone Fulford , your second and cheaper option is to make something yourself.
Go ahead and don your homemade fancy dress costume with pride. Sure, people might think you’ve made a poor effort but it’s better than no effort at all!
With just some random kitchen
Your second major problem is the Baltic northern weather. Scenario: You live anywhere South of Birmingham and are still loving the back-end of an autumnal Indian Summer so aren’t coping well with the relentless North Yorkshire rain. Turning up in lectures soaked and leaving an hour later with mascara streaked down your face and frizzy hair. Not a good look. Here at Vision we suggest you get hold of one of these Duck Umberellas (£10 at Tokyojazzpanda.co.uk)
Y C N E G EMER DRESS FANCY
, M L O H EN K C O ST SWED
P22
Materials – Scissors, sellotape, a plastic bag, an A4 size sheet of kitchen foil and a black marker pen, a Blue Peter inspired creative flair (not actually necessary).
Not only will your purchase enable you to show up to lectures dry and frizz-free but it’ll allow you to blend in with the aquatic campus habitat. Your final and possibly most pressing problem rears it's ugly head at the end of week 2. All that Freshers' partying is really getting to you and your body tells you it's time to catch up on some hardearned 'Z's'.
Your problem: It’s 5am and the other 16 people on your corridor are playing Human Bowls. You don’t know how this works or what this barmy game actually entails. In fact, all you really care about is going to sleep.
I CAN'T GET NO SLEEP!
Your problem can be resolved by Boots EyeShade and Buy similar eye-masks and ear-plugs at Boots, Ear-Plug starting at £3.99. kits (£3.99 – allowing you to collect 12 points with your purchase their informative website tells me, wow!). Enjoy your peaceful night sleep – and avoid Human Bowls, it sounds dangerous!
WEAT PROT HER ECTIO N
www.tokyojazzpanda.co.uk - £10
14LIFESTYLE
YORK VISION
Tuesday October 14, 2008
Finding your feet on
Internet deviant Alex Richman shows freshers how to handle their new obsession
R
ecent technological advances have gifted us many new words; services such as Google and Photoshop have even strayed into the trademark-threatening realm of verbs. However, one internet powerhouse towers above all others, lending to our lexicon a raft of new phrases. If you want to navigate Facebook, the site that’s officially cooler than lime green Wayfarers and more addictive than chocolate-flavoured heroin, you’re going to have to learn the lingo.
marginalised students – those drinking alone in their rooms. Of course, if you’ve just come in from a night out, it’s still not a good idea to send a hilariously witty and debonair (or, on reflection, sexually aggressive and eye-wateringly graphic) message to your old flame. Thankfully, wall posts can be deleted by the profile owner, but private messages may well be kept for blackmail purposes. Remember, friends don’t let friends drink and visit Facebook.
3. Facebook Rape
1. Facestalking
Not necessarily as sinister as it sounds. This phrase describes the excessive attention paid by some people to others’ Facebook profiles, ranging from the innocuous device allowing you to peruse your attractive ex-housemate’s latest photographs, to the slightly more disturbing habit of tracking said individual’s event timetable so that you can accidentally bump into them.
Fittie
2. Facebooking While Intoxicated (FWI)
Facebooking While Intoxicated is a particularly grievous problem because it mainly affects the most
VISION'S VIXENS and their
Just like with Aids, 9/11 and Princess Diana, we no longer flinch at the mention of ‘rape’. Here, we use it to describe the alteration of one’s profile when a third party gains access, be it through the victim’s carelessness or perpetrator’s guile. If you suspect your friend has been Facebook raped, look for the tell-tale symptoms – a sudden change of sexual orientation, erratic wall posts or a recent status update declaring a burning love of cocks, gash or bums.
4. Facecrook
This refers to an individual whose profile picture has, like a 13-year-old girl at the school disco, been ruthlessly touched up. A higher contrast
to minimise the impact of skin blemishes and, of course, the shot-fromabove camera angle so prevalent on Myspace turns even the most craterfaced heifer into a credible Fresher’s Week fumble. The effect is not dissimilar to lying on a CV – often a good way through the front door, but will only
lead to resentment and embarrassment further down the road.
5. Fauxbooker
Oh, a friend request? How exciting! Is it an old school chum, perchance? Oh, no, it’s…wait, who the hell is Craig? He goes to York…wait, is that the dude that I lent a pen to? The creepy fuck that chewed on the lid and held on for dear life as he scrawled his childish signature on the register? Beware people that have more than 200 friends from university, despite only arriving yesterday afternoon. Especially if they start commenting on your photographs and bumping into you at events.
Fattie
STUDENT skins STUNNERS Eddie Twitchett
YEAR: 2nd COLLEGE: Alcuin STATUS: In a relationship SUBJECT: Business Management
GET THE LOOK:
Jessica Swaysland
YEAR: 3rd COLLEGE: Vanbrugh STATUS: In a relationship SUBJECT: History of Art
GET THE LOOK:
T-shirt: It's of Black Masa, these DJs I'm mates with.
Skirt: Urban Outfitters. Expensive but worth it!
Jeans: From the girls' section of H&M...
Shoes: Topshop, they don't really go with my outfit but I was caught off guard.
Jacket: This vintage shop in Brizzle. Michelle sightings: "She gave me a Rizla outside the library. It was a king-size one too. She let my mate finger her in the disabled toilet. She's well safe."
Jacket: H&M. Haha! Michelle sightings: “I saw her in the library. She smells really nice. Someone said she's going to cut her hair really short, I hope she doesn't!"
LIFESTYLE
YORK VISION Tuesday October 14, 2008
15
STYLE
SCARVED OF ATTENTION
Eman Akbar discusses the rise of the oft-forgotten silk headscarf in both Western and Islamic culture. A much needed sophisticated era in fashion has dawned, inspired by the traditional culture in the throbbing heart of the Middle East. It is the return of the headscarf in western society. Emulated in the past with poise, beauty and grace by iconic Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn Angelina Jolie, and recently fresh off the catwalk by trend setting starlets of the fashion scene, be it the Brit pack O’Konar or Agnyess Dynn. Needless to say, the trend is here to stay. ‘What goes around, comes right back around’. Evident in the A/W ‘08 Paul Smith, Vera Wang and Jean Paul Gaultier’s collections the scarf has taken stanglehold of the main runways. The Dolce and Gabbanna Fall ‘08 ready to wear collection was no different, largely dominated Dolce and Gabbana A/W '08-09, RTW
by this trend of the moment. D&G selected an army of good looking, long limbed, size zero conservatively dressed models. Wearing below the knee skirts of chequed prints, minimalist skin on display with modestly fitted tops paired with sweaters perched on the shoulders, they embodied the lady of the manner fashion. The look was finished off with a slick silk headscarf neatly tied around the neck, followed by a strategic march down the catwalk to strike a pose to a crowd filled with flashing bulbs and familiar famous faces in a front row of eye goggling VVIP fans. Domenico Dolce explains the significance of the reintroduction of the accessory: “We wanted to revamp the headscarf, bring it back and give it a new life, introducing it to the younger generation with a modern twist”. Gaia Geddes, editor of Harpers Bazar adds, ‘I do think we will be seeing a fair amount of headscarves around over the next few months’. Say goodbye to the days of baseball caps, beanies and hip swinging, floor sweeping jeans. The long forgotten era of fashion is back with vengeance to sort out the ill dressed, paying homage to a return to the versatility of conservatism and to achieve
elegance. Vivienne Alexander a ‘scarf ambassador’ for the French fashion house Hermes; explains, ‘We have been selling to a much younger crowd then usual, and a sizeable proportion of our customers are Muslims who wear the product as a hijab’. Hand made and finished in France, the Hermes silk scarves are rated highly, famously popularized by the 1960’s cite d’Azur crowd. The surfacing fad of the headscarf accessory has complimented an increase in interest from Middle Eastern women to experiment and research the trendiest manner to wear the hijab of the season (within the practising codes of Islam). The change in attitude has been noted on the Internet by several bloggers, who are trying to cater for the modern Muslim women of today. On the blogs, fashionistas attempt to reveal the next key hijab look. The emerging interest in modern clothing is largely in response to an ever growing army of Muslim women anxious to keep their style cutting edge. Jana Kossaibati's blog Hijabi style claims to be the first style guide for Muslim women on the net. Kossaibati suggests that women are getting more experi-
mental - ‘Muslim girls are very conscious of the way they dress. When you wear a head scarf you stand out as a Muslim, so what kind of message are you also sending out if you look drab or messy?” When asked what will be the head scarf for autumn, Jana votes for the Turkish style tied under the chin and wrapped around the neck, which she signals is a return to a more grown up sophisticated style of fashion - a theme floating on both sides of the pond. The versatile headscarf is clearly here to stay, creating a niche for itself on the heads of fashion's leading stylists and designers at home and abroad. Acting on many levels as a bridge to understanding cultures, it’s brilliant that such a strong trend can be accepted, seen and represented as sophisticated and down right classy. Especially not long after the French government had banned the headscarf (more specifically, any representation of religion affiliation) in public schools, to see a trend that has given Islamic dress respect and identity being celebrated in western society being recreated in their own style is just fabulous.
FIX UP, LOOK SHARP-EY? Helen Nianias encourages all nervous freshers to look for sartorial inspiration from none other than High School Musical's best bitch.
Fresher’s week… The most hellishly pressurised week in any student’s wardrobe. The change that we feel the need to undergo after leaving home can throw you into a sartorial panic. Noone goes to uni as themselves. In a totally new environment, it’s often difficult not to imagine yourself as a totally new person. As lame as this sounds (but let’s not pretend we didn’t all do something similar) I had my new image planned out, which I think was anxiously pitched somewhere between ‘I went to India, like, it was really beautiful’ and ‘I really like M.I.A.’ Suffice to say, it didn’t work. No-one is impressed by a hoodie and ‘Tibet’ headband. It looked earnest and lacked confidence and conviction. You cannot exude power in a badly fitting Rajasthani shirt. With the school-ground environment of uni, we all know that confidence sells and, in my experience as a wizened thirdyear, it is all that really matters. This is an error that the girl you love to hate, Sharpay Evans, would never have made. Taking the attitude that more is more, she bedecks herself with rhinestone, has everything in nauseating hues of pink, big hair and
skinny thighs and a pretty sweet ride. Boys swoon, girls fear her; she looks hot and she knows it.
The Queen is dead fashionable.
Orange Heremes scarf, www.designerexposure.com, $495.95
You cannot be a proper high-school bitch without trademark blonde hair. Do it. L'Oreal Excell10, Superdrug, £7.99
Use tacky-as-you-like, totally out of season white cork wedges to tower above your peers. They must be at least four inches high, and only the tackiest white will do. Office, £20
Jaeger scarf, ebay, £3.20
Chain-print scarf, Topshop, £22
Steal Her Style
A lady who always gets what she wants, Sharpay manages to command a hell of a lot of respect. Her entrance to HSM 3 shows boys literally fainting with a mixture of desire and fear. How many students at York can say that of their entrance to the J B Morrell? For anyone who has seen the legendary HSM films, her fearsomely rude attitude makes her twenty times more interesting than the simpering Gabriella. Permanently dressed in white and little pastel cardies, she looks like the sort of person your nan would love. In contrast, Sharpay looks a little bit like a prostitute, but the power she holds is truly awesome. By slinging on a pair of pink snakeskin boots, pleather miniskirt and a load of lipgloss, you could have your new ‘friends’ quaking in their boots and eating out of the palm of your hand. Freshers, take note.
Hermes clock-face scarf, www.ifashionlady.com, £30
You'll look like an idiot, but having a headful of Swarovski crystal will be worth it. Butler and Wilson, £98
16 LIFESTYLE
YORK VISION
Tuesday October 14, 2008
HOT
STYLE Bitching about the credit crunch, its officially the new smirting.
Space-hoppers, the quickest and most arousing way to get around campus.
Amy Winehouse eye-liner. Move on, chaps.
Wide-leg jeans. They're only average on Kate Moss, think how they'll look on you ...
Leopard print - not just for leopards!
NOT
Cheryl Cole as an X-factor judge ... bring back Sharon!
SUITED AND LOAFIN' BOOTED! AROUND!
Moccasins, Topshop, £60
Vintage 80s boots, from ebay.com
8 Eye Broken Promises from Urban Outfitters, £70
Leather boots from Topshop, £75
French Sole loafers true Lehman Brother chic, £65
Jude Hull on the pros of ankle boots for the York winter ...
Immy Willetts and Helen Nianias see loafers as the last lifeboat of the FTSE 100 ...
This winter, say goodbye to scuffed Ugg boots and soaking wet pumps. The ankle boot is ushering in a term of happy warm feet walking around campus and adding style to any outfit. Functional yet fashionable is the key for a cold winter in York and ankle boots have provided the answer! Ideal with skinny jeans teamed with a chunky knit or adding a masculine twist to a LBD. The high street stores are bursting with new styles, towering heels for a night at the Dutchess or more casual flats to throw on before a 9.15. Preferable to the knee high boot which can sometimes give an accidental air of dominatrix and surpassing the plimsoll for practicality, the ankle boot can be subtle and simultaneously make a statement of cool.
In the current economic climate, there's no better way to say you're tackling the credit crunch like a sensible human being than by donning a pair of humble loafers. They just scream 'I'm not going to frivolously buy things I don't really need like loafters . . . because I've already got mine!' When packing up your pitiful belongings in your cardboard box, you'll surely be leaving the Lehman Brothers with a spring in your loafer-clad step. Never once have we heard someone declare 'I've got a load of loafers I need to get rid of'. It appears you just cant have too many. Unlike shares in HBOS, your money will be securely tied up in loafers! So do the right thing.
Carvella loafers, £85
Topshop loafers, £60
White loafers, from ebay.co.uk
BACK TO 'KOOL'
Immy Willetts on bucking the vintage trend, and preparing yourself for the next academic year as you would at school ... We are all suffering for fashion. In buying into the ‘vintage’ trend that promotes tatty second hand clothes we are neglecting our natural desire to dabble in neophilia. No matter how many stained, smelly cardigans you might buy, they will never fill the void in us that demands newness. It is part of the ‘student’ mentality. Through the sub-standard accommodation, nights out, meals, outfits and hygiene that come as ‘standard’ as part of the university ‘experience’, we have become accustomed to settling. We no longer even bat an eyelid when someone uses the word ‘banter’. This is just not acceptable. It’s time to make a stand, let’s stop accepting inadequacy.
Lamy pen, WHSmith £15
Just as this new academic year begins, lets treat autumn with the respect it deserves by shopping appropriately. Don’t spend your loan on Family Guy box sets, instead indulge in that inner instinct for a fresh start by buying a new ‘school bag’ and stationary. The satisfying thrill felt when opening a brand new moleskin notepad is one you’ll never achieve pashin’ a fresher. Ironically I would say that new things keep us even more in touch with the past than hand-me-downs. Make like Proust, but instead of that (frankly, minimal effort) crumbly biscuit and cup of tea let’s be reminded of glorious times past through that nostalgic smell of a brand new plastic-y
pencil case. Cath Kidston do some brightly coloured patterned ones for reasonable prices as well as some appropriately sized bags to fit a notepad and a laptop. It is the fashion equivalent of comfort eating, head to M and S and find some cosy woolly tights and brilliantly practical and unsexy pants that just scream ‘I wasn’t expecting this!’.
but don’t let your work suffer. You might not even turn up to half your lectures but at least you’ll bloody look like you did. And that’s probably all that matters anyway.
The point here is ‘practicality meets chic’, and what better place to start than with an Argos rucksack that is also a seat! Imagine that! Wear with school cardigans and jumpers from BHS teamed with Mary Janes for true cosy nostalgia. Your room, house, hair might be a mess
Highlighters, from WHSmith £3.19
Jumper, bhs.co.uk from £4.50
Wooly tights, £11 from mytights.com
Brogues, Topshop, £28 Moleskin notepad from amazon. co.uk
Rucksack with Seat, Argos, £11.97
YORK VISION
Tuesday June 3, 2008
the
Hot list Visions guide to the supermarkets of york Budgens, 28 Micklegate – 2.5miles. (purple) No. 4 bus goes into town, dropping you right round the corner and there’s some great finds inside **** Morrisons, Foss Islands Road – 1.1miles. A bit of a trek as there’s no public transport but worth it for fab quality, cheap spending spree. ***** Tesco, Tadcaster Road – 2.7 miles. An even bigger trek but a massive reward: huge shop with lots of variety ** Sainsburys local, 212 Fulford Road – 0.9 miles. Local if you’re staying in Halifax but pretty titchy so probably not a reliable resource for those gourmet dinners *** Costcutters, Campus, Market Square and Halifax. Market square is large, Halifax is tiny; both are convenient but very pricey * Aldi, Fulford Road – 1.6 miles. surprisingly good quality and renowned for low prices *** Iceland, Fulford Road – 1.6 miles. Pretty close, especially for those Halifaxers but could be a bit of stretch to walk back laden with bags ** Browns, 15-16 Main Street – 0.4 miles. steep prices, great for top ups between shops. Quality sandwiches and fresh breads. Perfect proximity for Halifaxers, Derwent students and Charles regulars. *** Somerfields, 102-104 Hull Road – 0.9 miles. Local, good quality but pretty steep hills to drag your shopping up on the way back. **** *= Superbadmarket **= Past its sell by date ***= Middle of the aisle ****= Wheely good *****= Bagging a bargain
LIFESTYLE
17
FOOD&DRINK
RAISING THE BAR
The temptation on York's campus is for students to only eat and drink in their own college bars. Vision investigates the alternatives for the more adventerous freshers... be harder ntre 's venues tend to an Roger Kirk ce tu an rg ga e Th d. od; ‘Galleria’ for freshers to fin l!’ which sells fo tia en ss ‘E s; rt for the has three pa e exam hall and, tim ll fu a ly nt tor’, a which is appare ‘Smooth Opera s e’ er th s, ou ci ns d prices are more health co bar. The food an y th oo sm ng ni the smoothies fully functio s only really for it’ t bu le ab on her to come all reas adventurous fres an se vi ad ld hard that I wou igmatic names en s y’ th oo sm e ding one goes here. I find th far as recommen as so r, be em tox option to rem r clear of the de ee st to is se vi e I was all I can ad ft me feeling lik le s nt ie ed gr in whos emetic verse enema. has having a re r on camly the smallest ba ab ob pr is ’s Q c Miniscule M the only one pus but its also like a local. that really feels
Goodricke
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Vanbrugh is the king of
college venues. It has by far the best selection of foods and its impressive Mondrian hall rivals Derwent’s for size but without having the aus tere feel. This is the best all purpose place to eat , thought I did once had a rather murky sou p here that looked and tasted as though it were made in the bilge of an old ship. The best thing about Vanbrugh is that it’s open on the weekends and its Sunday carvery (£3.85) beats ‘The Charles’ in every aspect.
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Derwent has the largest bar in the university which is probably why it
also hosts the best parties on campus. However, the industrial size of its tired canteen does give it a bit of a Grange Hill feel. The food is also a touch too much like school dinners for my liking with oleaginous burgers being their lunchtime speciality.
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REVIEWED - Fellini's Pizzeria, Fossgate. If you didn’t manage to get away for the summer, why not escape the predictable chain restaurants and step into an original Italian pizzeria? From the authentic pizza ovens oozing luscious aromas to the wonderfully friendly waiters, this place will put you in just the right frame of mind. The large glass windows welcome you into a huge open space; terracotta painted walls, curly black furniture and a cute indoor balcony complement a marble drinks bar to give a cosy Mediterranean feel. The thin based pizzas are bigger than the serving plate and come in a large variety of tasty toppings – vegetarian options easily available and if you still can’t find what you want, they’ll happily make you one up. Although a little bit pricier than your average student meal, the serving sizes are enough for only a main course to be necessary. And of course, there are many other options for those pizza-haters among you including pastas, grills and more conventional meat and fish dishes. Desserts are equally tantalising: tiramisu, ice creams, panna cotta – all locally produced or made on site and definitely not to be missed!
er to
i’s answ Wentworth is York Un tad more distinction
th a Weatherspoons but wi spoons They’re like Weather thrown into the mix. ge scale e clearly set up for lar in as much as they ar their ug pl they constantly catering and because e proown special offers. On age nt va ad motion to take for ils of is the ‘Two Cockta n £4.95’ deal. The locatio od go a it es of the bar mak on t ou t place to start a nigh wn to , if you’re walking into ht-fistbut beware of the tig s. ed measure u’ ll The other deal that yo ‘Fishy see around campus is u can Friday’ (£3.45). This yo eir th g eat alfresco enjoyin nomuch boasted about pa mpus. ramic views of the ca
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18LIFESTYLE
S R E H S E FR DAY TRIPPER Sally Makaruk rediscovers York as a tourist
YORK VISION
TRAVEL
Tuesday October 14, 2008
'HOLM SWEET 'HOLM Emily Hodges splashes the cash in Sweden's classy capital.
For me, one of the most important factors in choosing to come to University in York was not only the courses available and the teaching resources, but also the city itself. (Well, that or the fact that it’s the only place that would let me in!) York is an amazing city and has so much more to offer than Gallery and Tru or Topshop and H&M. As I found out, a touristy day in York isn’t to be missed! Firstly, throwing my agnostic ‘seen one church seen them all’ motto out of the window, I decided a visit to York’s most famous landmark was pretty important. The Minster is the second largest Gothic cathedral in Europe, and was completed in 1472. Ignoring the fact that we were surrounded by middleaged Americans, we were really enchanted by the Minster. It really is beautiful and exhibits some of the most impressive stained glass in the world, making it definitely worth a visit. For an extra charge you can visit one of the Minster towers for a panoramic view of the city, however it was a horrible day and we didn’t want to get wet. The Jorvik Centre, close to Fenwick’s department store, is also pretty cool. It costs a bomb, but if like me you’re a bit geeky and have the mental age of an eight year old, it’s really fun. The Jorvik experience transports the passenger on a buggy through Viking York seeing and smelling life as it was back then. You can even spot an immortalised Matt Baker and Mabel the dog (ex-Blue Peter)! Exciting. On the way out I advise you stop at the gift shop and buy some Viking memorabilia because you will not escape Freshers’ Week without dressing as a Viking at least once.
I
s your student loan burning a hole in your pocket? Then Stockholm could be just the place for you. It’s perhaps a little ironic that I decided to go to Stockholm because of the cheap September flights, only to find that it would be one of the most expensive cities I’ve ever visited. Step out of the plane, and you find yourself in a city that makes London feel cheap in comparison. However, if you can get past the hefty prices, Stockholm is a stunning place and well worth spending some time in. The city has the nickname ‘Venice of the North’, because of its location on 14 islands on Lake Mälaren. Each island has its own character – from the central Stadsholmen where most of the historic Gamla Stan (old town) is found, to
Södermalm, which has become a popular bohemian area, with lots of bars and cafes. There’s lots to take in, and the only real way to see it There’s no wonder York is the secis by foot. The city is so small ond most visited tourist city in that its easy to wander around the U.K as there is just so much the whole centre, giving you to do! Maybe you could even give Clifford’s Tower a go – and I don’t time to take in all the beautijust mean rolling down it after a ful buildings and views across the lake. night out!
Gardens, zoos, theme parks, museums, cafes, and aquariums can all be found on the island, and ready to be explored, depending on your tastes. I recommend indulging your inner child at the zoo, and trying not to fall in love with the bears!
A sight worth seeing is the Royal Palace, which is so large it makes you wonder just quite how much stuff the Royals must have to fill it all, and particulary the Changing of the Royal Guard that takes place daily in the courtyard. This is always an amusing sight in any country, but it's enhanced by the beautiful powder blue uniforms of the Swedish guards, which has the unfortunate effect of making them look rather effeminate... With the amount of water around, Stockholm is naturally a very nautical place. Boats are available to transport people to the more distant islands, and there are even boats moored along the edges of the lakes serving as hotels and youth hostels. Inevitably perhaps then, seafood is a big part of Swedish food, but there is a wide variety of meals from all cultures, to satisfy even the most picky of eaters. There are some lovely coffee shops, and Stockholm seems to be the only place in the world not to be conquered by Starbucks! Those looking for a stronger d r i n k might be disappointed by the nightlife however. We spent one interesting evening in the Absolut Ice Bar – a complete tourist trap, but the kind of place everyone should go once, if only to take photos of themselves looking like eskimos!
You really are spoilt for choice of things to do and see in Stockholm. One highlight is the Vasa Museum, home to the Vasa ship. The Vasa (Sweden’s answer to the Titanic) was built in 17th century, only to sink metres into its maiden voyage. The ship was brought up from the sea floor in the 1960s and restored. It might not sound thrilling, but even to a nonboat enthusiast like myself the museum is suprisingly enjoyable. The Vasa Museum is located on the island of Djurgården, the pleasure island of Stockholm, and the perfect place to go for some fun.
You should make time to spend at least one afternoon in the shopping streets of Stockholm, even if it is only to go window shopping in NK (Nordiska Kompaniet) – a department store able to rival Harrods on both size and price. A more realistic option might be one of the many H+M stores littered around its home city. In all, Stockholm is a great choice for a city break, with a mix of everything to keep all visitors happy. It might be pricey, but you get what you pay for – a picture perfect city. Flights with Ryanair from Birmingham to Stockholm start from around £40 return.
: o t e d i u g h g u o r N O
Y T I S R E V I N U THE K R O OF Y
I S I V K R The YO
) S E I M M (for DU
WELCOME, one and all, to the University of York! This is your reward, for slaving through forty GCSEs, for arriving to pick up
. . . r u o y w Kno
s h t y M
your A Levels and for submitting to a lifetime of debt...university, a world where free sex is not a weekend promotion at King's Cross but rather a philosophy, where intelligent thought is rewarded, and where you get dirty looks in a bar when you don't order snakebite. But what's York really about? We're here to bust some myths...
Did York elect a pirate for their union president?
TRUE!
The post of YUSU President is so prestigious that only three students contested it: one was a thirdyear, one a second-year planning to defer and the third a post-graduate that wore a ruffled shirt and an eye-patch, and spoke in a funny voice during debates. To the electorate’s undying credit, the pirate won.
I’ve heard York’s campus is simply beautiful…
false!
The only things that take up more space than the ducks on the York campus are the duck turds. Our buildings are preserved like a series of structural war memorials, warning us to ‘never again’ resort to 60s architecture, no matter how ‘in’ the music and clothes are. Oh, and you know that ridiculous spaceship thing on the lake that we've lazily designed this guide around? That’s where you graduate.
York is a quality university that remains well respected by students and employers...
TRUE and false!
The University of York has recently placed in the top 10 for the 2009 guides from The Times and Sunday Times, and stands 11th in the Guardian University Guide and Good University Guide. A recent international table from the THES placed York as 74th in the world. Sounds impressive, right? But remember, Chico from X Factor was #1 for two weeks, and Djimi Traoré has a Champions League winner’s medal. You can’t fail your way through to prosperity on the back of your university’s name here!
Know your.. .
ALCUIN (THE ONE WITH THE COCKTAIL BAR) Good for: Nice JCR, fans of tiny umbrellas Bad For: Keeping it real
VANBRUGH (THE ONE BY THE LIBRARY)
Campus
Good for: Great big bar Bad For: Getting merchandise that doesn't rely on a ten-year-old advertising slogan.
LANGWITH (THE ONE THAT GOT A LICK OF PAINT OVER THE SUMMER)
GOODRICKE (THE ONE WITH THE CELL BLOCK)
Good for: Hosting conferences Bad For: Hosting students
Good for: Strong college spirit, those adjusting to life after prison Bad For: Far too close to the YUSU politburo
DERWENT (THE ONE THAT'S NEAR HULL) Good for: Huge bar, people that enjoy dressing up as a chav Bad For: See Vanbrugh
WENTWORTH (THE ONE WITH THE POST-GRADS) Good for: Fab restaurant, sophisticated conversation Bad For: Ephebophiles
JAMES (THE ONE WITH NO BAR AT ALL) Good for: En-suite facilities Bad For: Everything else
HALIFAX (THE ONE THAT'S NEAR DONCASTER) Good for: College sport, orienteers Bad For: Proximity to civilisation
S B U P D N A S B U L C , S R A B ! D E R E V O C N U . . . ' E F I L T H G I N ' S ' YORK YOUR GUIDE TO DEBAUCHERY TRU
1
SALVATION
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LEEDS
Wittily nicknamed 'Scallery', this outlet delights students and locals alike. With a solid DJ in the main room and crowd-pleasing indie basement, Gallery stands proud as a solid allrounder. FACT: XXXX on student night costs just £1.50 per pint. WHEN TO GO: Thursday/Sunday
From the ashes of Toffs comes the refurbished, redesigned Tru. Enjoy queuing up in the pouring rain on a cold winter's night, only to spend the next four hours figuring out how to kill the DJ and make it look like an accident. FACT: £1m was spent on the refurbishment.
3
GALLERY
2
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4
ZIGGY'S
Evil Eye
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Johnny Depp, like, totally used to drink here, man. The drunkest bar staff, coolest cocktails and most hellacious shot reside in Evil Eye, the go-to place for showing round your mates in York.
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Revolving dancefloor. 80s novelty clothing at the bar. Footloose inevitable. Get in!
Nag's Head
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"Trebles 4 Singles" tells you everything you need to know. Perfect for pre-Tru and -Ziggy's warm-ups.
Monty's
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El Piano
3
Vudu Lounge
Rumours
2
CAM
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The word on the grapevine is that this place is pretty much the same as Nag's Head, treble deals and all. But keep it under your hat, right?
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Dank, dark, a bit pretentious but always buzzing with people.
4
If you can withstand mid-90s dad-rock being blasted at you, cocktails are 2-for-1 during happy hour.
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A vegan restaurant/bar that's good for tequila but bad for self-respecting diners. Get a Subway first.
1
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Decent draft beers AND a dancefloor with latin music pumping until the wee hours make this a true hidden gem.
PUS
MICKLEGATE SLEAZE Reflex
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Bobo Lobo
Not for the faint of heart. Ziggy's is cramped, hot, and slimy, but you'll usually be too drunk to notice. Also functions as a strip-club on the weekends. FACT: The DJ downstairs encourages nudity. WHEN TO GO: Wednesday (unless you’re feeling lonely on a Saturday)
Just as Toffs became Tru, Nexus is now Salvation. A gift from the gods to improve the clubbing scene at York? Don't count on it. Beer pong and other novelties are sure to litter the place, thanks to a marketing push with York Sport. FACT: Not affiliated with the Salvation Army. Shame. WHEN TO GO: Wednesday
SWANKY BARS FOR COCKTAIL KICKS
Dusk
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Ha! Ha!
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The cheap wine is cheap for a reason, but decent bottled beer deals and a vast array of cocktails make this worth visiting.
if you ask us, with A classy joint. A little too classy . even the apple sourz packing a pricy punch. Still, there's a lovely couple of cocktails available during happy hour.
Artful Dodger Three shots for a fiver with a discount card, otherwise a bit dull. Full of lonely old men on Fridays.
'Spoons
Kennedy's
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No high prices, no fuss...no atmosphere. You may as well stay on campus, you boring sod!
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Where grown-ups go to drink, so it would seem. Good food, lots of beers and a nice basement area to rent out, but the music is ear-bleedingly loud.
Parish
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Forgive us, father, for we have sinned (by buying a ridiculously-priced cocktail covered in whipped cream).
. . . r u o y w Kno
s e b i Tr Typical Student Most Likely To Say: “Of course we’re not going to the college bar, it’s closed.” Least Likely To Say: “You know, if we did it all again, I’d still choose York!”
Public Schoolboys MLTS: “Well, during my gap year in China when I was building a combination hospital/orphanage/Jack Wills store…” LLTS: “Actually, there are quite a few people around. Maybe we should speak a bit more quietly…” This group is represented in a manner far out of proportion to its standing in the general British populace, possibly due to their experience with shared showers. They are difficult to set apart from the aforementioned Typical Student, but there are several aural clues: a nasal whine, equine laugh and nauseatingly smug tone are all prevalent.
Awkward Nerds MLTS: “What are you talking about? I don’t look anything like McLovin!” LLTS: “I can’t believe I got laid six times in Freshers Week…and two of those were at the same time.” One of the most tragic examples of student life. These specimens were promised that at the great social melting-pot of university, people would accept (and even embrace) these misfits for who they really are. This is a total lie, of course; a spade is a spade, even if it goes to lectures.
Gorgeous Girls Making up the vast majority of York’s student population is this category. They can often be spotted from afar, thanks to their eye-catching white earbuds designed to deflect attention from any potential mates. Other tell-tale signs are messenger bags slung over the shoulder, a lack of life behind the eyes and the stench of disappointment that they aren’t at Leeds (or, in PPE students’ cases, Oxford).
MLTS: “…History of Art. How about you?” LLTS: “…Computer Science, although I'll be spending a lot of time with the Medieval Re-enactment Society. How about you?” Typically discovered in groups, these creatures are incredibly hard to find in the wild, with their scarcity massively enhancing their value. They stopped hunting generations ago, due to the ease with which they can catch prey in the dank York environment.
PRE-SOCIAL EATING Being a sensible student, you must already know that going out on an empty stomach is a Very Bad Idea. Even if you're not drinking alcohol, you'll just be craving a meal long after any suitable stores have shut (see below). The smart move is to eat beforehand; the GARDEN OF INDIA (Fawcett Street) is a popular destination for groups preparing for a late night, with sit-down and takeaway options. Another eastern eatery is AKBAR'S (George Hudson Street), with a fabulous atmosphere replete with hilariously oversized naan breads.
DRUNKEN SNACKING York's maths department has been hard at work, trying to nail down the equation that will determine which postdrink foodstuff you require (based on units imbibed and change left over). So far, they've had no luck, so we'll have to be as general as possible. SUBWAY (all over town) offer highly customisable, eminently edible sandwiches. to campus and However, if you're stumbling back are truly the worse for wear, nothing but EFE'S (Heslington Road) will do. The greasiest pizzas. The greasiest chips. The greasiest coke cans. Accept no substitutes.
DATING A pizza chain may not sound like the perfect place to take your significant other, but ASK (Blake Street) is no normal ristorante. Massive pillars, marble floors and dozens of candles lend a touch of Greco-Roman elegance to pasta and calzones. A more intimate setting awaits at EVIL EYE (Stonegate), which doubles up as both an excellent bar and tasty restaurant. Special mention goes out to the Sunday roast which, while not particularly romantic, certainly is filling.
Know your..
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Eateries FAMILY MEAL So your mum/dad/grandma/uncle/godson is in York and is offering to take you out for a meal? What a perfect opportunity to sample the kind of food you could never afford yourself. It may seem obvious, but BETTY'S (St. Helen's Square) has the sort of brand power that other tea rooms can only dream of, and once you've tasted their stuff you'll know why. While eating somewhere very famous will please your family, tricking them into eating in a former brothel will please you. Head to THE BLUE BICYCLE (Fossgate) for incredible gourmet food at salary-earners' prices.
PUB LUNCHES Why leave the pub for food when you can just stay where you are? The CHARLES XII and DERAMORE ARMS (both Main Street) are right next to campus, and so make for obvious drinking spots, but both serve excellent grub. The former has a more straightforward chain-pub menu, with the latter specialising in a huge plate of fish and chips. In town, THE GOLDEN FLEECE (Pavement) has a great range of hot and cold meals, and a cosy beer garden to utilise on those rare rainless days.
! e v a e l u o y e r o f e b o d o t 50 things Using the Facilities Get a library fine
Academic Misconduct Be late for a lecture
Deface a library book
Have your phone go off in a lecture
Have a hot meal at Wentworth
Miss a lecture
Finish a ‘coffee’ from any campus outlet Be sick in a campus toilet Be sick on campus, but not in a toilet Swim in the lake
Call up Nightline and ask them to talk dirty
Anti-social Behaviour Have a snowball fight Have a water fight
Make someone look like an idiot in a seminar Actually call someone an idiot in a seminar Miss a seminar Miss an exam Have someone else sit your exam for you, leading to a court case Fail an exam and lie to your friends about having to come back in the summer
Love and Hate
Have a proper fight
Pull a fresher
Argue with a porter
Pull a post-grad
Ride your bike through Langwith’s ‘no bike’ zones
Pull a housemate
Lie to your sexual partner about your Chlamydia
That's Entertainment Unsuccessfully attempt to complete ‘Centurion’ Complete ‘Centurion’ Order a real ale on campus Order a lager shandy in town Roll down Clifford’s Tower Get a ‘shout-out’ in a club Get 'chucked out' of a club Go in fancy-dress to a nonfancy-dress event
The IT Crowd Get punched by Dan Taylor Dance near Amy Browne Spot Michelle from Skins Meet President Pirate
Pressing Issues
Pull a lecturer
Burn an issue of Nouse
Get a lecturer fired
Get on the Power List
Draw some graffiti
Take your free campus Chlamydia test
Be Student Stunner
Correct someone else’s graffiti
Get Chlamydia
Argue with a duck Steal a sign
! G A W S N I W
Read the bestest paper in the whole widest world
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SCENE WHITE LIES
Oct 08 Issue 18
n o s d i k w e n k c o l b the GOLDEN SILVERS PLUS: Richard Syms, Stephen Toltz and a whole lot more, you lucky scamps!
INTERVIEW
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Hollie Price interviews:
THE NEW KIDS...
GOLDEN SILVERS O
k ok…so Golden Silvers haven’t even recorded their first album. God forbid they haven’t even been played on a loop on Radio One Noah and the Whale style. They haven’t played to a packed Wembley with fans waiting patiently through wind and rain or anything. But they’re a symbol. A symbol of the dawn of new-age, new-flashy, new-all-round-shiny disco. And in the spirit of all things new and fresherlike, it seems about time that Vision wrote about a band that is original and sparkly. Golden Silvers are the new kids on the block so they deserve a place in a Spotlight Special for all the new kids. You’ve got to seek out the shiny. In this day and age, you’ve got to be a bit of a magpie on the music scene. You’ve got to find the shiniest band you can amongst all the faded plaid and flowers of the old school. These days even your average Indie kids are getting excited about a bit of bling and disco frolics. It’s not about staring moodily into your pint and nodding your head while trying to not look bothered anymore, even if you could do that to a bit of White Lies or Radiohead or even a bit of Lightspeed Champion, nope these are the days for ummm getting your groove on. And Golden Silvers are setting the trend, the three-piece from London like to bribe people to their gigs with the promise of shiny badges, shimmering
skinny jeans and sparkly scarves. And their songs are no less glittery. Every gig is a magical disco with the pointy-nosed Gwylim Gold leading the way with Ian Curtis-esque vocals and punching keyboards purveying something that is akin to David Bowie gyrating in a scene from ‘Labyrinth’. There’s tragedy in his face and in the words, but there’s still dancing to be done. And all this seems to be a little bit wrong down at The Punch Bowl on Stonegate tucking into a partridge pie amongst the locals, with some of Yorkshire’s finest judgemental glances. Ye olde pictures of York plaster the walls and a friendly fire burns in the corner. Well this is cosy… “in a year’s time, I’d like to be in this pub still”. Big plans. Big. “Y’know The Beatles were called The Silver Beatles apparently, before they got all famous”, Gwylim reliably informs me. Aaah, well a bit of sparkle never did them any harm then. “Our name came partly from that. But basically gold and silver are just two nice words, because we were called ‘The Daggers’ before”. We’re past the days of commercial indie-pop ‘Chelsea Daggers’ now boys, it’s time for some 80s glamour with a few gold chains and silver jumpers thrown in for good measure. But maybe all the glitz isn’t that original afterall…the band get a bit of a shock: “There’s another band called Golden Animals? I fuckin’ hate ‘em. We’re
gonna find ‘em and get ‘em”. Can’t really imagine the skinny London lads following this particular threat through but never mind. Rival band, Golden Animals, recently released an album quite originally named ‘Free Your Mind and Win a Pony’. And Golden Silvers have a bit to say on the matter: “A pony’s quite a prize to free your mind. It’d be good if you won a pony every time you freed your mind. You’d have a lot of ponies, you’ll have to start keeping the ponies at bay”…ummm. The Golden Silvers might just live in a little magical musical world of their own sometimes. Who knows where this conversation is going… “You don’t really ever want more than one pony, why not a scorpion of something? If you let a whole flock of ponies all run free, they’d get run over, it’d be horrible”. But it’s good to know they think important everyday dilemmas like this through. The boys don’t want any beef but neither do they mince their words when it comes to other bands and the music scene. “Listening to the singles charts is just painful, it hurts your head”. But they’re not judgemental. Much… really. Gwylim: “bands these days just don’t cut the mustard. We look down on them all…nah nah not really, don’t say that”. Ben: “All of that stuff on MTV2 is just shit and you can waste a whole day sat in front of it”. They do admire Fleet Foxes and Bon Iver though, which is nice.
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“We just don’t want to be associated with a music ‘scene’ or labelled like that. A lot of stuff is either shit or mediocre and I’m not ashamed to say it, it’s baffling some of the shit that’s out there. So much so-called ‘indie’ basically means ‘shite’. They’re shit and we’re good, no we promise we’re not just saying that”. Okie doke then. But then again, they know how to treat a lady: “Out of silver or gold, we’d probably buy silver for a girl, it’s more classy. Silver’s pretty nice at the end of the day”. Ben (bassist): “I’d probably buy a boat…some girls like boats, those adventure girls…no? What about a yacht? Wouldn’t you like it if someone bought you ummm one of those big ones… a galleon?! Then you could sail and things…” Aaah yes, all girls love to sail, it’s one of those all too clear things that just never gets picked up on. It’s not about flowers or chocolate or jewellery, oh no. These days, all a girl wants is a nautical adventure. Alexis (drums): “I’d buy a girl one of our t-shirts”. Aaah now that’s classy indeed. Ben describes the sound of Golden Silvers as ‘Love Music’ though: “I guess it’s just the mood”. So it’s not all shimmering clean and tidy, go about your own way at the end of the night disco, there might be some dirty dancing to be had n’all. “Every song is about love really” adds in Gwylim, “whether a band tries to act like the songs are or not”. Golden Silvers run The Bronze Club, a night for upcoming bands to play in London. And although gigs don’t always produce mass crowds, they get people who have a laugh: “We’ve had gigs when there’s been 50/60 year olds but then 14 year olds…we get some pretty weird ones, like everyone’s pretty young and then there’s that one old guy..there’s always that guy, he’s got the record under his arm and his little eager face wants you to sign stuff... it’s quite sweet really. But we’ve only got one stalker/groupy man…he’s called Jason, he’s nice”. But the band aren’t scared by Jason, oh no, they have bigger things to worry about: “The Curse of Nandos” (they all give each other shifty looks). “Well, we did this gig at Bush Hall in London and we all went to this Nando’s beforehand and just everything at this gig fell apart, the drums fell to bits and the bass cut out. Having a Nando’s tempts fate. Anyone that mentions that place, we just drop them for the mere mention of such a thing”. So there you are, if you’ve learnt one thing from this article, don’t eat chicken for dinner if you ever form a band. Wise words. Alexis:"Nah, my mum reads tarot cards and tell the future and stuff so I don't kinda believe in fate...." And Ben agrees half-heartedly: "yeah I like to light candles before every gig and chant a bit, I like to get the feeling for the place, it's all a bit mystical really"...think he's being sarcastic. Golden Silvers live in a shimmering, discoing world of tragedy, buying boats for girls, steering clear of chicken-orientated restaurants, little shiny brooches, a man called Jason and a bit of a Joy-Division-turned-to-disco-type music filling in the gaps. And it’s quite nice really.
"GIRLS LIKE BOATS...NO?!”
THE FRESHERS WORTH CONSIDERING... A BRIEF INTRODUCTION TO THE NEXT BIG THINGS... Pop-folk songstress Laura Marling Poetic, whimsical, and younger than us all!
Electro-pop outfit Friendly Fires Picking up where the Klaxons left off, grab your neons and knitwear and head to the
Swedish, indie kids Those Dancing Days A bunch of kitsch, retro hand-clappers that'll brighten anyones day.
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rage against the machine leeds festival 23-08-08 F
rom your first tentative steps into this year’s sodden Leeds festival campsite it is clear that Rage Against the Machine are this year’s main draw. All from the deluded, dreadlocked white boys to those for whom a mere five days without a shower is hygienic, are sporting Rage TShirts. One cannot deny that whether you love them or hate them, Rage Against the Machine are one of the few bands of the last 15 years to inspire a near divine devotion to both their music and their ideals. Both in their lyrics and their polemical political rants, the band promote the ideals of social justice and equality. Tonight they play in front of a giant Red Star, the communist symbol that has been part of the bands imagery since their formation. Yet the irony of this seems lost on most of the Leeds crowd; Not only are they watching four multi-millionaires, they are watching a band who refused to allow their performance to be televised as it may cause their pockets to receive a less generous lining from the sales of the live DVD that RATM are to release later this year. Ermm… yes…. Communism in its purest form!
to bring a mud soaked Leeds to its collective knees. In a breakneck beginning that includes alternative classics ‘ Testify’ and ‘ Bulls on Parade’, the crowd’s sheer animation leads to a Hillsborough moment as the front rows feel the rib crushing severity of the security barrier. But after a short pause and with a warning from Mr. De la Rocha, RATM continue to rattle through their set. By the time the crowd’s ecstasy reaches its zenith during the final refrain of ‘ Killing in the Name of ’, even I have shed my political inhibitions and resolved to simply enjoy a thrilling headline set. As we leave the stage sweatier than Barry George watching the ten O' Clock News, we are left to reflect on the weekends most anticipated performance , a performance that thankfully didn't disappoint. However unfortunately this years Leeds festival may not be remembered for superb live performances but for the multitudes of men with pre-historic intelligence who return to the campsite and seek to burn their own and others peoples belongings. Social equality in the RATM mouild? For these animamls. No thank you.
But maybe I am being too moralistic about it all, for in terms of festival headline sets this was right out of the top drawer. RATM have the tunes, the stage presence and the sheer balls
CORNELIUS SHEPHERDS BUSH EMPIRE 03-08-08
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THE ALFONZ bar swindon
ornelius (Keigo Oyamada) may have been pitched to me as a broadly poppy, slightly ambient whimsical Japanese artist, but that’s only half the story. While his discography has garnered generally positive reviews (with latest release Sensuous praised by that most pernickety of outlets Pitchfork), to not know Cornelius live is to not know him at all. The set is billed as a ‘sensuous synchronized show’
MIKE REGAN
in an opening reminiscent of a kids show, with bells, gongs and whistles cueing a brief title screen that introduces you to proceedings. However, what follows is a rollercoaster of intricately synched and endlessly trippy audio-visual duets. To set any one song above another is to betray personal preference rather than laud quality, with each distilled blast of beauty truly mesmerising. Indeed, it’s difficult to tear yourself away from merely gawping at the performance. That’s where Cornelius’s finely honed live chops keep the audience involved, dropping in surreal crowd involvement that harks back to the Sesame Street opening; imploring punters to shout out a number to decide the length of the next drum breakdown, for example. The gig, like the new album, ended in a lullaby. After such a heady mix of bright colours and big sounds, it provided the perfect soothing conclusion. Not that it made anybody sleepy; we all wanted to rush home and check when we could see them again.
ALEX RICHMAN
03-10-08
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he Alfonz arw Swindon’s latest up and coming band. Slightly cheeky chappy they clamber on to the stage with grins on their faces, sporting the mandatory skinny jeans of any of here and now Indie band. But they sport them well; Sam’s (guitar and backing vocals) are white and skin tight, teamed with a red shirt and black braces, which is a little bit different, like their music. Launching into ‘Summer sun’ we can’t help toe tapping; it’s nothing short of a jolly; especially when Adam (singer and bass) shakes his tin shaped maraca at the microphone. The audience can’t help but sing along with the oo oo ooos as they slow it down for accompanying whistling. Very happy and summery; if we were at a festival they’d have us whirling around outside, as it is we jiggle under 12 bar’s disco lights. Other songs are similarly upbeat; and they continue on with the grinning, clearly enjoying every minute, Sam and Adam coming centre stage every now and then for some simultaneous happy jumping around, and that sort of thing is just infectious. We pause for the slightly more wistful ‘Light of Day’; it still leaves us dancing though. The Alfonz. Swindon’s up and coming band, and they really are.
SOPHIE HILL
we are scientists york duchess
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27-08-08
n the cave-like sauna of York’s newest venue, a bright new era of riotous student gigging has begun. Cast in the shadow of the (questionable) competition that is Fibbers, The Duchess is its insane younger brother, housed in an old snooker club just down the road; a haven for the dedicated music-lovers of the noughties. W.A.S. fitted it perfectly. With their geek-chic looks and sweat-slicked hair, they wowed the audience with their fast robotic indie. The lead singer was a vision in a faded, broken t-shirt, at one point climbing into the crowd to be molested by grinning fans. But he wasn’t the only focus; both frontmen held the crowd’s attention with their hilarious American accents and StarWars-stickered guitars, like cheeky teenagers from the Blur era. Self-deprecation and in-jokes make up their witty banter, causing many a giggle in the tightly packed crowd. The Duchess was sweaty but deliciously rocking, with the vibe of teenage over-excitement matched by the bands’ playfulness. W.A.S. were ridiculously cute, in keeping with their upbeat songs, poppy guitar riffs and catchy tunes, charming the girls with their free-flowing wit. The set list was mainly first-album material, with only two new songs, but plenty of old favourites like ‘Great Escape’ and ‘Nobody Move’. Overall view of the Duchess: brilliant venue, with bigger names than what York’s accustomed to. Get on their website and join their mailing list for promising things to come. Are we being Fibbers? Ha! We’re better than that.
ANNE CLARKE AND KATE HARRISON
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THE STREETS
Joseph McDermott
everything is borrowed- OUT NOW
T
he phrase ‘coming-of-age’ has been a mainstay in the press releases, blogs, publications and so forth concerning this latest offering, and it’s pretty easy to pick up on why. The production has progressed far from the more basic, visceral pumps of the debut “The Original Pirate Material” with an expanded palette for the sonic experience. We see more importance placed by Skinner on the music than ever (“The Escapist” and “I Love You More...” are prime examples) that hold up his laconic delivery wonderfully well. The more intriguing aspect and development of The Streets’ music however is the evolution of focus from materialistic and banal aspects to more infinite-minded reflections. Here is where the album will be lost and won for its audience: the cheese. Now, Mike Skinner has regularly been cheesy so it is no surprise to admit that there were moments of cringe listing to him endeavour to discuss the supposedly meaningful themes to be found in life. Yet, at the same time it is his almost hopeless manner in trying to do so that is most endearing about the entire record: it’s not preaching we find here (apart from “Alleged Legends” but that’s a forgiveable stray) nor an extensive attempt to answer but just to convey the emotional impressions felt through questioning all. Furthermore it’s his insistence in baring all that is so refreshingly honest that works as his charm. Sure, his word play is witty at times and perhaps even profound without being obfuscating as so many ‘ambitious’ artists before him have fallen foul of, but it’s his embracing self-deprecation and naked honesty that attracts us closer than anything else this album has. A drawback to hold against the album are the overindulgent, drawn out and over the top choruses which most songs possess; thay recall the style past seen in “Dry Your Eyes” and there are times where it’s almost unbearable, see“Heaven For The Weather” or “The Way of The Dodo”. Mike Skinner is now 31 and this album is a testament to his growth as a person and an expansion of his world view. Look past the sporadic flushes of overindulgence and there’s an album that is trying to communicate to you (not examine or argue) about a man who is once again enjoying life and at peace with himself, his life and the world at large and it comes off a lot less grandiosely and pompously than that description would suggest, mainly because of Skinner’s gentle conversational approach that endears once again.
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JEROME JOEL JOSY
the towers of london fizzy pop
kings of leon only by the night
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OUT NOW
he Followill family, aka Kings of Leon, have witnessed their rock’n’roll star in the ascent since scoring rave reviews from their first album “Youth and Young Manhood” onwards. However, it is unfortunate that this, their most commercially successful album, is the one that their expanding mass-audience will relate them to. Unlike previous albums, standout tracks are few and none that can boast the rampant energy and gut-punching force of songs such as “Four Kicks”, “Charmer” and “Mcfearless”. This album is rather a gentle spin on a Ferris wheel rather than the tor-de-force rollercoaster that “Because of the Times” promised it could be. It starts strong with the unique and bewitching “Closer”. Whilst “Crawl” churns with sexy bass and “Sex on Fire’s” anthemic chorus secure the first three’s status as the stand out tracks of the album. The middle songs, such as “Notion” and “Revelry”, flounder and to the detriment of “I Want You” and “Be Somebody” which in a better choreographed LP would be strong songs. However, it isn’t a bad album. It is clear from this record, as it was in “BOTT” that Caleb has embraced his role as frontman and in comparison with their first two albums his vocals are far surer, stronger and more strident. Like Caleb’s ascending self-confidence, this album reflects KOL’s surety in themselves and their music. But while the album is sure of itself, the rest of us are left undecided.
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SARAH STRETTON
out now To say that The Towers of London are more famous for there offstage antics than for onstage talent would be an almost criminal understatement. In amongst the band break-ups, backstage bustups and criminal damage court dates you could be forgiven for losing track of their musical contributions; ‘Fizzy Pop’ is touted as their comeback album, a welcome party for new members and a new sound. Straight from the off the band hook the listener with the big, punchy riffs and exuberant vocals of new single ‘Naked on the Dance Floor’, the darker and heavier aspects of the 2006 ‘Blood, Sweat and Towers’ album have been toned down and the sound is noticeably lighter. The trademark punk snarl (whether genuine or not) is still present, re-emerging in the topical, antiestablishment rant of ‘1984 (Nanny Nation)’ and stomp-along choruses of ‘Start the Rupt’. ‘Fizzy Pop’ is a confident album; the band bounce from anthem to anthem, but for all the bravado and arrogance of Mr Tourette and co. the song-writing often lacks sophistication and at times seems childish. From a lyrical point of view there is little here to add depth or meaning to the tracks, they act more as another layer of rhythm than as an insight into The Towers of London. Although ‘Fizzy Pop’ suffers from a lack of musical complexity we shouldn’t allow that to detract from the record, sometimes less is more. The songs haven’t been written to give us a path into the head and heart of Donny Tourette but simply to be enjoyed: the tale of a drug deal gone wrong in ‘Bishops Gate’ is hilarious and the hedonistic ‘If It Don’t Feel Good’ might not challenge you but you’ll still love it. The songs are raucous and catchy if a little bit cheesy. In the end ‘Fizzy Pop’ can be seen as a reflection of the band itself: imperfect, slightly deluded but still fun, fresh and undeniably entertaining.
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LISTINGS
JOSEPH MCDERMOTT
METRONOMY 'Heartbreaker' OUT NOW A mix of smooth electronica and the dulcet tones of front-man Joseph Mount make this a more than palatable track. The bitter undertone of the lyrics sits nicely alongside the meandering synth creating an effect that is as subtle, subdued and undeniably slick. Although ‘Heartbreaker’ seems vague and often lacking in direction it’s calm and collected ambience ensures that it still manages to radiate a kind of effortless cool. It is also worth mentioning that the single is accompanied by a sterling quartet of remixes; a reminder that you can never have too much of a good thing.
POLLY SCATTERGOOD 'I Hate the Way' OUT NOW
According to the press release Polly Scattergood has been honing her talents over the last ten years; unfortunately it has been to no avail. ‘I Hate the Way’ is a dull and turgid affair which stumbles on for five terminally dreary minutes. Her vocals, though clearly intended to sound ethereal often verge on tuneless. In fairness to the song, it picks up at about three minutes in but by then it’s a case of too little too late. Perhaps ‘I Hate the Way’ will grow on you, though I wouldn’t bother giving it the chance.
Oasis
'The Shock of the Lightening' OUT NOW At one point in their careers Oasis were new, fresh and exciting but this latest offering seems plagued by a refusal to break the mould. ‘The Shock of the Lightening’ doesn’t provide anything we haven’t heard already and worse still, it does it in a distinctly average way. In a recent interview Noel admitted that the song was written and recorded very quickly, it shows. We’ve heard Oasis at their best; now get ready to hear the rest.
MOBY v FREEMASONS 'Disco Lies' OUT NOW
Energetic and vibrant, the remix turns up the tempo of the original and pushes the song straight onto the dance floor. As ever, the golden touch of the Freemasons can only improve what was already a nice piece of electronica. They seem to have made it their mission to remove any lull or dip in the song and ‘Disco Lies’ has become a non-stop dance floor staple. This is exciting stuff; incessantly catchy and unrelentingly funky, unforgettable.
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What every single student needs to know... ‘How do I survive the first year?’ you may ask. ‘Experience!’ you will be told. For example a lesson that I was told is that if you don’t turn up to lectures because you’ve been out too many times the night before you will fail! You will learn that in order to sort out this precidement it is better that you don’t go to bed at all. There are many lessons like this you will learn but of course, you can’t learn everything from experience. There are some things that you need to learn now in order to have an advantage over others in the future. For example, finding where your lectures are (in the most confusing campus in the world), realising in what way you can get drunk for under £10 and finding out how to put on a condom in the dark. As a result here at Vision we have decided to give you an advantage in the most significant aspect of student life... living without the television. There’s BBC iPlayer / 4OD / itv.com etc... Leaving the TV at home doesn’t have to mean the end of your TV programme viewing for good. At first it can feel pretty alien being without it. You are drafted into a world where an arduous storyline in Neighbours or a dramatic twist in Lost or Ugly Betty has absolutely no infringement on the topics of conversation that you are having with your friends. But you can still hold on to the twists in Lost or the storyline in Eastenders thanks to BBC iPlayer, 4OD and other services, which allow you to watch a programme up to seven days after they are being broadcast on a broadband connection (which the University has). Clearly as a result there has never been a better time to be a student. This means that instead of planning your day around the latest gripping badly-acted edition of Hollyoaks and Neighbours, you can actually physically go to lectures, go and get drunk, and actually resume your programme viewing later. Glorious. Most importantly, as TV Licence rules state you need a TV Licence to watch ‘streaming’ television signals on a laptop and not pre-recorded material through online services such as the iPlayer, you can use these services without a TV Licence. But please check first through the terms and conditions of the service you are about to use because these rules may change at any time (so there you go, you can’t sue us).
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sion viewing impossible. As an ex-resident of Halifax I found that the only way I was able to gain any TV signal was by hanging my external aerial out of the window, and letting it swing in the wind. I was able to get Channel 4 only when it was raining, and Five when people were defrosting their cars. Check with the powers that be inside your college to see what options there are. If you are committed to having a TV in your room remember you must apply for a TV licence, costing £139.50 a year. If you watch TV without a licence and get caught out you risk a fine or a court appearance, whcih doesn't go nicely with your student loan. So apply for one at www.tvlicencing.co.uk.
DOOM + GLOOM = HOLIDAYS Why is that when there is worrying news story producers must find an excuse to fly all of their highest paid newsreaders to the country in crisis, only to report the exact same details as you would find on any other television channel on that day? When the stock-exchange crisis was underway Huw Edwards managed to blag a reporting job in Washington, BBC’s Nick Robinson also went with him, Channel 4’s Jon Snow flew directly into that city as well, Mark Austin and the ITN news team flew directly to New York and Sky News pratically relocated their studio there. Maybe if in next few weeks the financial system hits the ruts and we experience an apocalyptic end of civilisation, TV newsreaders can find an excuse to do blag some live reporting from Hawaii and Tahiti. It’s only an idea.
IN HALIFAX I FOUND THE ONLY WAY I WAS ABLE TO GAIN ANY
TV SIGNAL WAS BY HANGING MY EXTERNAL AERIAL OUT OF
THE WINDOW AND LETTING IT SWING IN THE WIND...
The only problem with this service is that after a programme is shown on television it is not immediately updated on its catch-up sister service. This means that after you have missed the latest edition of Skins you will spend an hour and a half constantly refreshing the 40D page in your bedroom screaming ‘C’mon….. C’MON…… BLOODY HE...’ Also, if you download all the programmes to your laptop it may commit suicide as it can’t handle the strain, so just a warning there. You can use something called a TV though... You can have a television in halls. Some colleges have rooms already equipped with the aerial socket in the walls so it’s easy to tune to digital or terrestial channels. But some colleges do not, making televi-
There are Podcasts too... Whether you like him or not, you won’t be listening to Chris Moyles in the morning anymore. Nobody is up at this time. Really. Apart from the people who wake up at 9.05 to run to a 9.15 lecture, halls and the general University are dead. So listening to them through the iPlayer (www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer) or downloading the weekly podcast through iTunes or through www.bbc.co.uk/radio1 are the real deal. Of course if you’re not then there are hundreds of BBC, Channel 4 and independent podcasts available on the web. And as for listening in to the radio around the parts during the day, BBC Radio 1, local station Galaxy and student radio station URY (ury.york.ac.uk) seem to be the most popular things around here. Illegally I cannot of course endorse watching or downloading illegal TV programmes to your desktop (so please please don’t sue me Mr Regulator), but you will notice that watching programmes through Limewire are popular. If you want to download illegal programmes don’t use any University computers, including the ones in your own bedroom, as the university moderators can track any downloads and instantly block your internet access within halls permanently. Believe you me this is not good news. When that all important essay is due you will have to pull an all-nighter in the campus college room, where all of the computer weirdos hang out. It’s not fun. Neither are they.
MYLEENE KLASS - I’m playing Myleene Klass bingo. It’s lots of fun, you should try it too. She’s almost got a full house as she has been a TV contestant winner, model of M&S women’s fashion, a writer, a TV presenter with Gok Wan, a fashion designer of babies clothing, a band member, a Proms in the Park representative, a woman who has taken her clothes off... She only has to be in a new theatre production and take part in a possible future Live 8 and I get a tenner!
And there’s Vision Of course Vision is here as your primary source of TV and radio related information. We’ll be tracking all of the up-to-date storylines in our Neighbours and Hollyoaks news section, analysing the latest rumours and speculation of your favourite shows and most importantly, previewing what’s coming up on your TV / BBC iPlayer / Radio / Podcast / Illegal heavily not recommended format soon...... There we go, an introduction article with a subtle plug involved. Now go off to the pub, like a real Fresher does... SCOTT BRYAN SCOTT BRYAN
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♥ WHITE LIES
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HOLLIE PRICE TELLS YOU WHY: They’re better than Mr. Darcy..they came through the cold wind and the snow. You need to fall in love with them, it’s a rule. White Lies are an epic love story and no matter how much you think they are too sombre or just another Editors (their single is called ‘Death’ for one similarity), the crowd will be swaying with a glazed look in their eyes and you’ll maybe even start not to care. It’s not a seethrough wet shirted romance but it’s a dark, musical one…which might even be better than anything Colin Firth could do whilst climbing out of a lake. They make little girls cry with their song. Ok, maybe not little girls but all the indie kids have been weeping their little messily groomed heads at gigs. If that’s not a mark of White Lies’ goodness, I don’t know what is frankly. Charles (bassist):“Yeah, someone commented on our myspace and said they were reduced to tears at our gig in Newcastle, I mean making someone cry is pretty special”. Sounds like bullying to me… “Just knowing that you connect with people on some level is good enough for us…making people cry is a bonus”. They’re just not scene enough for the scene kids. Having played alongside Crystal Castles on the NME Bands Tour bill earlier this year and experienced the fifteen-year old madness of a Castles crowd, White Lies don’t want a ‘Scene’ of their own. “We don’t want to be another one of those bands that kids go to see for the sake of it, just because it’s seen as cool. We want people to appreciate the work that’s gone into our music… but I guess you can’t pick and choose the fans you end up with”. It’s pretty certain that small people with bowl cuts won’t be bopping with their uncontrollable misery to ‘Death’ anytime soon. Perhaps this is best left the Alice Glass and the teeny weeny crazy ones… They’re as well organised as a well organised geometry set. “We’re not like Pete Doherty”. White Lies don’t do memorable things like…falling asleep on stage. “We’re not a mental band with an intense stage show…we just play the same songs the same way because we practice and practice them that way. We like keeping them the same but we do improvise sometimes…we’re not like The Horrors or The Libertines or whatever on stage, we don’t do all that jumping about, we’re not as chaotic”. They’re one of those orderly, precise bands. Y’know... like all the good ones. NME have described them as “maybe a bit too perfect” and “well-drilled”. But with their matching black shirts and melancholic ummm melodies, what’s so bad about being perfect?
They don’t just want mindless dancing people. Oh no. Not all lyrics can be as happy as “What do you want for tea? I want crisps”. As deep and meaningful as Kaiser Chiefs’ latest offering clearly is, White Lies address the big questions: life, death, love. Theirs is a tragic disco and it’s no wonder people cry at their gigs. “People can just connect to our songs because they’re meaningful and they mean things to every one: our gigs are full of people from fifteen year-olds sneaking in and forty-five year olds just kinda mingling in”. Turns out not everyone appreciates having crisps for tea but they understand worrying about death every day: “we worry about death all the time, just wondering things like…how long it’ll take for people to miss us and what happens when we’re gone”. White Lies are thinkers, not Jing Jang Jongers making songs for the sake of it and then not even releasing an album at the end of the day, yes you Joe Lean. No Jangling Jongling around for them. They’re teaching us about all those everyday little tragedies… “We’re called White Lies because when you think about it, lies are pretty terrible and people tell them every day, they just become ordinary and that’s pretty terrible”…dearie me, never really thought about it. “NME have no right to say we haven’t experienced ‘real darkness’ because how can you tell if someone has? You just can’t, and plus I wouldn’t exactly tell NME all that stuff anyway”. Quite right, but White Lies are teaching us about tragedies using their own brand of melancholy. They’re not just another Interpol (and if they are, they don’t really mind). They’re a bit of a magnetic, morose mixture of things. They don’t mind being compared to Interpol or Talk Talk or Tears for Fears: in fact they’re a little proud. “We all like different things, we’re big Interpol fans but we’ve got three very different personalities and I think that’s why our music’s so different to anything else out at the moment”. Aah ok. “We are like Interpol and I guess there’s no denying that but it’s not like we’ve watched them on telly and copied down everything they do. It’s more like they were at the forefront of that generation and we’re doing something a bit different so we’re at the forefront of ours…hopefully”. Ok. They take themselves too seriously and they don’t laugh much and they button their polo shirts right right to the top all the livelong day but their songs are good. So yeah. Maybe it’s alright that they’re a little bit miserable, what would Carlos D be without his gloomy swagger, cigarette dangling from his drooping lips and despondent strumming? Nothing. But of course there not just a British interpol.... naaaah.
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YorkyWood Andrew Nichols explores the influence our picturesque town of York has had on the world of film.
Although it may have escaped your attention (especially if you are a fresher pent most of your first York week in Gallery and recovering in bed) you are studying in a pretty good looking city, and this has not escaped the notice of film makers. York is a well used film set not only for British television and film but also for Hollywood blockbusters, its medieval and industrial buildings often used to give a film realism CGI simply can’t recreate. Hollywood films shot in York have recently displayed the best and the worst of cinema. Garfield 2: A Tale of Two Kitties, was filmed extensively in the regal grandeur of Castle Howard. Alas York’s charms are not all powerful and in this case even they could not save the film from the dire mess that was a sequel that didn’t really need to be made. A similarly grand setting is York Minster. Until very recently it was prohibited to film inside but due to the pressure of the rising cost of maintenance and restoration this ban was lifted and the Minster is now an in demand setting. Elizabeth starring Cate Blanchett and Richard Attenborough utilised the Minster to recreate the coronation of Elizabeth 1st at Westminster Abbey, and this time York’s historical backdrop created a visually resplendent set piece scene. York’s film history is long and illustrious. As far back as 1977 the cities train station was used to give crime drama Agatha starring Vanessa Redgrave and Dustin Hoffman real period details and evoke the age of steam, York’s beauty coupled with Vittorio Storaro’s artistically crafted cinematography enhanced the film greatly Recently more of York’s industrial past has been utilised by Tim Burton, Rowntree’s sweet factory wasbeen used for exterior scenes in the remake of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory before CGI created the magical world of Willy Wonka’s abode. And yes girls that does mean that Johnny Depp was in York and he famously frequented Evil Eye Bar. Add to these films the numerous TV series that have
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Student Cinema York Universities Student Cinema returns this term with an exciting schedule of films for you to enjoy. Vision picks some of its highlights:
Monday Week 2: Persepolis The Oscar nominated animated film that is strictly for grown ups, Persepolis is a poignant coming of age story, charting the Iranian revolution and European Liberalism through the eyes of an idealistic teenager.If you are yet to venture into the world of foreign film then this modern french classic is a superb introduction.
Friday Week 2: The Dark Knight
been shot in York such as: Lost in Austen, Brideshead Revisited and Robinson Crusoe it is clear that York has a rich filming culture and this is going to continue long into the future. It is not merely as a location that York is a key player in the film industry, KMA Creative media are a York based Production Company that specialise in the post production of film and television and have worked on such projects as The Christmas Miracle of Jonathan Toomey, even utilizing the talent of several York electronics students. York City Screen is also one of the finest independent cinemas in the region, showing
an eclectic and engaging selection of the best that British and world independent films have to offer, hidden gems that you won’t find shown in your local multiplex. Therefore whether you are an existing connoisseur of film or whether you just want to look beyond what the mainstream Hollywood studios have to offer York is a stimulating and inspirational place to expand your film horizons and discover films, films that will shock and surprise you as they stretch what you expect from film and in turn broaden your mind.
The Summer blackbuster that everyone was talking about.Winning rave reviews from critics and audiences alike this film does not dissapoint. The late Heath Ledger is not been given crocodile praise entirely for his untimely death. His performance as the Joker is distubing and engrossing in equal measure. Couple this with a supurb ensemble cast and thrilling plot and you have a film you will dominate your converstion for weeks.
Thursday Week 4: Happy Go Lucky Legendary British film director Mike Leigh brings us a film that really shouldn't work. Happy Go Lucky features a lead charachter who is so infuriatingly cheerful she could only be a primary school teacher and a plot where nothing much happens.However somehow this films warms the hearts of even the most miserable bastard.If you don't leave the cinema with a smile then you have emotions of stone.
York Student Cinema is located in P/X/001 (that's the big room in the Physics building). Films start at 7.30pm and admission is £3.
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How to Lose Friends and Alienate People Director - Robert B Wilde Toby Young’s bestselling book How to Lose Friends and Alienate People was an account of how he managed to scupper his career at Vanity Fair in New York by a series of embarrassing gaffes and misunderstandings. However in addition to this it was also a biting satire on the celebrity obsessed nature of the glossy magazine industry. This film adaptation seems watered down by comparison to become once again a perfectly passable rom-com. Simon Pegg shows himself to be a physical comedian of some skill, and he handles the comedy set pieces well. However his character seems rather flat; a 2-D preening English prat, whose subtleties are revealed insensitively leaving the audience with the impression they are bolted on. Megan Fox and Gillian Anderson do however manage to impress. In fact as well as being ludicrously sexual,Fox shows she just might be able to act too. Whilst Anderson plays a chilling power- wielding agent who can make or break stars with great skill, the rest of the cast seem to be merely plodding along in a film that will fail to excite for long. Although the film has some laugh out loud moments fans of Simon Pegg may feel short changed. With many, including myself feeling he has much more to offer than simply playing the British fish-outof-water role in yet another average American rom-com. Pegg has far too much potential to become a poor mans Hugh Grant.
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Death Race Director - Paul Anderson
. Death Race is a loose remake of the 1975 cult classic Death Race 200 by British director Paul Anderson, whose previous films include Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil and Alien Vs Predator. This film is in a similar vein to his previous work with high action, low intellect enjoyment at a premium. There are explosions, car chases and even a little bit of heart in what is a surprisingly effective, if not overly challenging piece of cinema. It’s the year 2012, prisons are run by corporations and as a way of making money the almost dominatrix style prison chief Hennessey (Joan Allen) runs car races in which the racers are encouraged to kill each other,; this is all shown live on pay-per-view TV. However, the best racer, Frank ,has died as a result of a previous race and ratings are beginning to slide, all too coincidently it seems Jensen Ames (Jason Stratham) a former racing champ is locked up for killing his wife, a crime we know he didn’t commit and sent to Hennessey’s prison. She offers him a deal, if he wins one more race he gets his freedom. Of course this is a con and Ames, his pit team and fellow racer ‘Machine Gun Joe’ see through and aim to expose. What ensues is grease smeared, testosterone fest, of mangled cars, broken bodies and high octane racing, which can't help but be enjoyed. It all seems gritty and strangely realistic, perhaps because Anderson used as little CGI as he could in the filming of his action sequences . This all add s up to one of the years most exciting releases. If you love gloves off action capers then Death Race is a must see. Andrew Nichols
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88 Minutes Director - Jon Avnet I can think of many ways that I would rather spend 88-minutes than watching this inept strictly run of the mill crime caper; that epitomises the descent of Al Pacino from the greatness of his 1970’s work to what is now almost self-parody. In 88 Minutes Pacino is seen gracing the screen with an almost David Dickinson style tan and bouffant hair that could only seem sensible to a receding middle aged man. He plays an ageing professor of forensic psychiatry at a Seattle college. somewhat reminiscent of acclaimed US drama; House. He is a touch arrogant , set in his ways, low on emotion and strangely irresistible to women. However this is where the similarities end, whereas House is engaging, intriguing and innovative, Pacino’s character is strictly-by-the-numbers. Worse is the self-conscious vehicle nature of this film, Pacino hardly registers the presence of anyone else as he constantly shouts into a mobile phone . This is all the more inexplicable when one considers the many nubile students vamping up to Dr Gramm throughout the film, Alicia Witt and Leelee Sobieski, aesthetically appealing, as they are, are given very little to do. The film begins with an intricate murder of a young woman, it was Gramm’s expert evidence that sent the murderer down.Cut to the present and Gramm receives a phone call informing him he will die in 88 minutes. This at least reassured me the film couldn’t go on for much longer,with the constant references to time ticking away I found it hard to resist looking at my watch to see how many minutes of my life I had wasted enduring this pointless film. Andrew Nichols
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OGDEN MAYHEW A PARTRIDGE AMONGST THE PIGEONS
After the enormous success of Mayhew’s last novel, the world has been nervously anticipating the publication of ‘A Partridge Amongst The Pigeons’, his latest work. But no one could have expected quite such an excellent novel as this, a book that will surely go down in history as one of the defining works in 21st Century literature. Brilliantly crafted and subtly fictitious, we are drawn into the world of an ambidextrous Elizabethan milkman living in a sheepishly Orwellian society. The story follows his struggle to come to terms with the change from imperial to metric and the subsequent turbulence in soft drink industries in the area. Both humourous and heart-breaking, Mayhew is clearly a man of many talents. He is, after all, not only a multi award-winning novelist, but also an amateur fisherman and father of none. It’s a real page turner particularly, due to the thin and flexible nature of the paper material used in the construction process of the book. You will find, when you are reading it, that one page literally comes after another and there is no page to which there is only one side. This is certainly a must-read for anyone with an interest in things. Within only a month of publication, many critics have already argued that this book is better than Shakespeare. In fact, a recent survey in Milton Keynes shows that, today, more people have heard of Ogden Mayhew than Gordon Brown. If you have not read this book already, buy it now!
IGC BOOKS LTD £8.99
Martin Williams
March of the Penguins SAMANTHA COWLEY expresses reservations on the role of literature in online dating. According to a friend of mine the Library is an excellent place to scout out the more attractive members of this university. All the book shelves, I imagine, provide fantastic cover for clandestine spying. Amorous sighs are easily mistaken for the exasperation of an essay that won’t write itself. It would seem that I have completely overlooked the vast potential of books in the world of dating. I always imagined a date where you had to resort to the hackneyed question; so what’s your favourite book? To be one I would not repeat. For starters my favourite book centres around male castration, not the first thing you’d admit
to your future beau, but perhaps I am something right. I quickly connot the target audience of Penguin sulted them on each others and Match.com’s recent team up. favourite book and drew blank Penguin Publishers seem to looks from both. Further more believe that online dating has restored their actual favourites; Nevil the importance of the written rod in Shute’s On The Beach (a postmodern day courtship and as a result apocalyptic tale of suicide) will be providing a space (www.pen- and Johanna Spyri’s Heidi (is mainly about goats) don’t really guindating. c o . u k ) w h e r e The library is an excellent place to scout out book lovers can the more attractive members of this university meet to indulge in the age old if not somewhat outdated art scream soul mate at each other. I would not deny that your of writing love letters (or emails or wall posts?). In order to find their choice of reading material says fellow literary lover match.com sub- a lot about you but is it informascribes will now be able to write tion you would necessary want about their latest read in their profile. to divulge? One friend points out You read correctly, Match.com that a woman seekhave decided that their newest weapon ing romance (in a Penguin Publishers seem to believe that in the war on sin- stunning display of cliché) might gledom is the deconline dating has restored the importance laration of favour- be very into Mills of the written rod in modern day courtship ite and latest reads. & Boon and yet No longer must they would in no the users of dat- way want a parting websites resort ner who shares eat when pregnant, marrying men to choosing a part- this passion nor would they want I don’t love to spite my true love. to publicise this fact as it, however ner based on their At least this would raise a smile. height, ethnicity unfairly, screams of desperation. A Instead Penguin is lumbered with man who will admit to reading a and turn-ons. The electricveg. Electricveg would like quest for love can stereotypical female book like The all the women out there to know Lovely Bones or My Sisters Keeper is be further defined that he is creative and writes his by a person’s love perhaps trying to tell prospective girl- own poetry. So creative in fact friends that he’s the sensitive-newof Camu or their that he refrains from capitalishatred of Hardy. man type yet the decision rather than ing his ‘I’s and refers to himself the books themselves, comes across Now I’m all for anyas moi! Or there’s dizzynetbabe thing that allows as being calculated and unappealing. whose interests include Book My aversion to Penguin dating me to make further club/discussions. Her favourite judgement about a is focused mainly on the theory of book? Harry Potter. Perhaps this the idea yet I find that in practice all person before actuis actually a good sign. Perhaps ally knowing them is still not might have been hoped. it proves that those who do have Myself and, I’m sure, Penguin imagbut even as a life more to say about their latest read long book lover I ined something a bit more, well, lit- than: It’s about Salmon fishing erary from Penguin-dating. Modern just do not believe in a Yemen Desert, do not need your choice of read- day Lord Byrons enticing women to resort to Match.com. Instead into their world-wide-webs by turning material should they have found love in the real be relevant factor. ing ‘About me and who I’m looking world hopefully still with the for’ into a dramatic monologue on Take my parents. aid of books even, like the aforeThey’ve been mar- the perfect woman or witty Cathys mentioned friend; by staking out looking for their Heathcliffs filling ried for 30 years so their chosen section in the library. they must be doing their ‘favourite things’ box with: running across heaths, refusing to
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TOLTZING MATILDA books which influenced your writing of A Fraction of a Whole? What were you reading as you were writing the novel? I haven’t read Special Topics so I can’t comment on that. Some of the authors I have been influenced by include Knut Hamsun, LouisFerninand Celine, Michael Lermontov, Dostoyevsky, Sherwood Anderson, John Fante, Thomas Bernhard, Raymond Chandler and Jorge Louis Borges.
Australian-born Steve Toltz talks to Jennifer Keogh about the writing of his first novel A Fraction of the Whole and being shortlisted or the Man Booker Prize 2008. You’ve worked as, among other things, a telemarketer, an English teacher, a private investigator and a security guard. What made you turn your handto writing? I haven’t always wanted to be a writer, but I’ve always written. As a child and teenager, I wrote poems, short stories and the beginnings of novels that usually captured my interest for about two and a half chapters. After university, I turned back to writing without a specific plan other than to try to supplement whatever meagre income I had, by entering short story and poetry competitions, screenplay grants, whatever came up. You’ve moved around a lot and there is a definite sense of restlessness in the novel as well. Would you like the excitement of Jasper’s life? That kind of excitement I could do without. Comparisons have been made to Special Topics in Calamity Physics, are there any
There is a great deal of meditation in the novel, about life and death. What conclusions did you feel you came to? No conclusions, merely suspicions. Is there any symmetry between the relationship of Jasper and Martin and the relationship between yourself and your own father? Fortunately, the book is not autobiographical, and thus it is not in any way a portrait of my childhood or of my own father. It was not even my original intention to say anything about parent/child relationships, although during the writing of the book, Martin’s central dilemma in raising his son became interesting to me: how to teach another human being to be his own person. And do you try and pass the characteristics about yourself that you are most proud of, even though you know they have made you miserable? What if you think very poorly of the education system available but you don’t have the time or energy to teach the child yourself? What if you don’t want your child to follow the herd, but you know that to stand out is a recipe for misery? Martin is plagued by questions that have no clear answer. The Dean’s have a very distinct outlook on life, is this representative of your own or
was it exaggerated for comic effect? Whether or not the characters’ world views reflect my own depends on what day you ask me, and then it depends on whether or not it is in the morning or the afternoon of that day, and if I am feeling optimistic or pessimistic in that moment, and in which way; whether I am feeling optimistic about myself but pessimistic about the world, or optimistic about the world and pessimistic about myself. It’s unlikely there’s an answer to that question that would remain consistent over consecutive days. Often my characters’ views are exaggerations of views I am sympathetic to, sometimes not, and often they are views in which I believe the exact opposite is equally true. You’ve been shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize, have you checked out the competition? Is it in the bag? I haven’t actually read any of the other books yet. At first when I was longlisted I wasn’t sure I would, maybe because I have a pile of books on my bedside table so tall they block out the light, and I’d banned myself from buying new books until I’ve read the ones I’ve bought…though now that I’ve been shortlisted, I’m definitely going to read them. In fact, I’d better get started! Are there any new novels in the pipeline? Maybe a sequel? I’m deep into (well, a ¼ into) my second novel. It is not a sequel.
The winner of the Man Booker Prize will be announced on October 14th.
The rest of the pack...
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Student Feature Writer of the Year nominee Anna Wormleighton talks to vicar/actor Richard Syms about being dramatic and devout
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methodist actor
he Church and the theatre are surprisingly similar institutions, according to the Rev’d Richard Syms. They both involve dressing up and talking loudly
which is why Richard’s two jobs don’t seem quite so extraordinary. He splits his time between being a professional actor and a priest, and I met him for a drink in the sunny garden of the local pub to try and decipher how it’s possible to juggle the two careers and remain faithful to both.
Syms as Hobson in Hobson's Choice
Richard explains to me, “People always think, ‘If he’s acting the rest of the time, how do I know he’s not acting when he’s being a vicar?’ But then proper acting is about truth anyway. It’s about finding the truth and integrity in something. The Eucharist, for God’s sake, the Mass, is a piece of drama! The basic Christian worship action is a piece of theatre – it’s meant to be – so you bring the same integrity, the same openness that you bring to King Lear or whatever.” Richard’s professional life, then, tends to be structured around rushing home from services in order to catch a train to the theatre where he’s performing. It’s no wonder that he often confuses the words “congregation” and “audience”. The past month has clearly been exceptionally frantic. "I HAVE A DREAD OF SITTING IN A PUB WITH A CAST AFTER “I did six funerals the week before last, two last week and four this week…so far!” Richard says in amazement. And it’s only Tuesday.
SIX WEEKS OF REHEARSAL AND MENTIONING THAT I'M
A VICAR AND EVERYONE GOING BACK OVER HOW MANY TIMES THEY'VE SAID THE F WORD."
If you don’t attend Rev’d Syms’s services at the Actors’ Church, Covent Garden, then you may have seen him on screen in Gangs of New York, or perhaps Ali G in da House, or possibly alongside Judi Dench in Mrs. Henderson Presents. “I’ve been in love with Judi since I was seventeen,” Rev’d Syms says, getting misty-eyed over his lager. “I fell in love with her when she was twenty-two playing Ophelia at the Old Vic back in 1950. Since then I’ve worked with her three times. She’s such a giggle. I came home every day with a new Judi story. She’s a very silly, wonderful person.” Richard’s own warmth and silliness, his love of rude jokes, and his use of mild expletives to pepper his speech make me warm to him immediately.
Aside from a career in film, Richard has done much stage work in the West End, at the National and the Donmar, and also in regional theatres, including a whole season at York where he enjoyed the wide selection of pubs. His favourite role to date was Dysart in Equus for which the Guardian described his portrayal of the psychiatrist as “wonderfully shabby, finding a clear centre to the character”. Richard’s dry wit and comical anecdotes make me wonder whether he is more in his element with comic roles though. “I love doing comedy, but whatever I’m doing, I make myself at home!” he exclaims theatrically. How do the actors react, I ask him, when they discover the flip side to his career? “I always make a point of letting them know that I’m a vicar fairly soon,” Richard explains. “I have a dread of sitting in a pub after six weeks of rehearsal and mentioning that I’m a vicar, and everyone going back over how many times they’ve said the ‘F’word. There are some people that say, ‘You’re not really a vicar, are you? You wouldn’t say that if you were a vicar… He really is a vicar!’ Then there are some actors I know who probably still don’t believe it because I’m the way that I am.” Certainly, I find it hard to believe that Rev’d Syms, with his joie de vivre, mock egocentricity, and enjoyment of other people’s company, belongs to the same institution that is currently getting their knickers in a twist over whether homosexuality is morally wrong. But though a devout Christian, Richard recognises the Church’s limitations as an institution. “The very fact they’re arguing about gays – I’m sorry, half the world are starving to bloody death, we’re blowing the place up and destroying the planet – and all they can worry about is whether a vicar is having sex with a bloke or not. That’s the kind of thing where you think, you know, what’s important here?” When I ask him where he stands on the homosexuality issue, he goes on to say, “As for accepting gays, the theatre, I suppose, sets a wonderful example where the Church isn’t able to do that yet. They will learn.” He sighs. “It’s sad when the Church are ten steps behind everyone else, but if they are, they are.” Having spent ten years as a full-time parish clergyman, Rev’d Syms seems happy to now be affiliated with a place of wor“IT’S SAD WHEN THE CHURCH ARE TEN STEPS BEHIND ship like the Actors’ Church. He puts his dislike of his parish priest days down to the fact that he was generally too noisy and open, and couldn’t be the closed-up priest. “I think the one thing I would not do again,” Richard says with resolution, EVERYONE ELSE, BUT IF THEY ARE, THEY ARE.” “would be to become a full-time parish priest. If the bishop said, ‘Come out here, look after this parish’, I think I’d say bugger off. I don’t want to enter the politics of it or the establishment nature of it again.” Rev’d Syms also took on the job of a theatre chaplain for a while, something which he clearly enjoyed, but became acutely aware of the lack of empathy he had with the actors since he wasn’t involved in the theatre back then. “I’d knock on dressing room doors and know what questions to ask. Then I would walk away and think, ‘I’m walking back to a nice comfortable vicarage.’ I could shut the doors behind me. I didn’t really know what those actors were going through whereas now I do.” The Actors’ Church has proved the perfect roosting place for Rev’d Syms, satisfying the two passions in his life – theatre and God – aside from his wife and identical twin cats. The historic church has seen many a star baptised, married or buried, and the congregation and clergy have, in some way, been involved in the arts. Richard recalls: “I remember coming away from a funeral I’d done there and thinking, ‘This is exactly what God wants me to be doing.’ It just felt absolutely right. It was such a celebration of the business, we all knew each other, and it just made total sense.” Underneath the jovial surface, it is clear that Richard’s faith runs very deep and that God inspires him in his role as vicar, but also as an actor and director. “When you’re directing a cast, there is always a pastoral element – a director has to look after the cast. But, also, I discovered more and more that, in the best works, there is a spiritual element. My sermon says, if you look for the Truth, you’ll find Christ because he is the Truth. And I think most writers, most filmmakers – the best – are looking for the Truth.” Richard tells me of how he had a calling to both the Church and the theatre from a young age, but the Church became a priority for him in his late teens and early twenties. He went to Cambridge to read for an English and Theology degree and, during his time there, acted in or directed a play at least once a week. Though it didn’t offer an academic theatre course, Cambridge was the place many prominent actors were emerging from – Ian McKellen, Derek Jacobi and Peter Hall to name but a few – and so it was an exciting scene to be a part of. I ask Richard whether he prefers acting or directing. “Whatever pays the money!” he answers, half-joking, half-serious. “Being an actor up there is actually a strangely vulnerable position. And you get some directors who don’t realise that what they’re asking the actor to do may not be easy. I have a feeling that, because I direct, I can be a better actor and visa versa.” But even as an established member of the acting profession, jobs are never plentiful. “My theory is as I get older and more people die, there will Richard Syms as Sir Toby Belch in Twelfth Night be more jobs for me!” Richard laughs mischievously. “I think getting work as actors is getting harder, although we’ve always said that. It’s genuinely not helped by the Andrew Lloyd Webbers and Graham Nortons of the world – they’re buggering it up.” However, if there’s a vicar part going in a film, Richard Syms is guaranteed to be the first port of call, as he was most recently in Mes Amis, Mes Amours. Casting directors know him as The Vicar, a useful aide memoire that enables Richard to stand out from the crowd in a way that most actors aren’t able to do. “If every actor did something that was unusual and that would make them remembered, it would help.” Nevertheless, he still has to go through the uncomfortable process of auditions. “I’m much less scared of auditions now than I used to be,” Richard chuckles. “Because I’m an old fart now there’s a certain element of ‘Hello, how are you? Nice to see you again.’ So I don’t quite feel I have to prove myself in the way you have to when you’re young.” A grumpy waitress has arrived to retrieve our unused knives and forks and Richard cracks a joke, which she doesn’t get. He is a livewire who embraces life to the full, and can laugh at things while still being a deeply serious person. With his religious sincerity and love of performing, he’s made me realise that, in a way, the Lord’s prayer is a dramatic monologue and “ashes to ashes” the falling of the curtain on the final scene of life.
SPOTLIGHT
MUSIC
FILM
TV
BOOKS
CULTURE
angel of the north John Godber is the third most-performed playwright in the English language, according to the Guardian. He follows closely behind Shakespeare and Alan Ayckbourn. The Yorkshire-born playwright has a distinctive dramatic flavour in his cutting-edge comedies, which portray everyday characters in ordinary situations. Fast-paced and furious, his plays, as Godber himself says, are energy-driven, rather than narrative-driven. He trained as a drama teacher at Bretton Hall and furthered his studies at Leeds University, before going back to his secondary school to become the Head of Drama. Author of over fifty plays including Bouncers, Teechers, Shakers and Our House, Godber has won a Lawrence Olivier Award and seven Los Angeles Critics’ Circle Awards, his plays being performed all over the world. I met him at Hull Truck Theatre where he has been Artistic Director since 1984. Q. Did it ever occur to you that you’d be writing plays for a living? A. No, I originally wanted to play football for Leeds United. Now, I think the way Leeds are playing, I may get a game. I was always interested in theatre at school but my parents steered me into education. Always, I’ve half-harboured a desire to actually make theatre. Q. You came from a family of miners, so where did you get your exposure to theatre? A. My drama teacher at school mainly. My granddad was a miner, my uncles were miners. My family has a long history of leftist activism in a sense. I played a lot of football, a lot of rugby. My personal friends were the British Power Lifting Champions. And I was reading plays. Q. Your plays are about everyday people in everyday jobs. Is that more accessible for audiences? A. The plays I was taken to see as a child were generally middle-class plays. They were plays that purported to be about working-class subjects, but they didn’t strike me particularly as being about a working-class constituency. So that’s why I deliberately went for quite brutalesque, brutalised subject matter. Bouncers, waitresses, teachers teaching at the sharp end… It was to justify to the kids that I was teaching at school that drama wasn’t just for
arty-farty people.
Q. How serious are your comic plays? A. I don’t think you can have comedy unless you have pathos or pain. The more serious they are, the funnier they ought to be. Q. You tend to have actors playing multiple roles. Is it to show the actors’ versatility or do you just prefer smaller companies?
the world. The process of catharsis, of getting it actually out of the system and putting it in front of other people. And when you see people react to it you think, “Shit, they’re probably thinking and feeling as I am.” Q. You cast “Gym and Tonic” before you wrote it. Do you often work in reverse? A. Yeah. I just feel it works for me; it doesn’t work everyone. Of
for
WHAT NOT TO MISS THIS SUMMER
precious when I’m directing my own work at all. A lot of it is about thinking on your feet. I quite enjoy directing other people’s works, especially classics – work by master craftsmen because you’re living in their mind. And you’re always testing your own skill against what someone else has previously said.
Q. Do you think that theatre rooted in northern working-class life, like Alan Bennett’s plays, is attractive to a London audience because of novelty and unfamiliarity? A. Alan Bennett writes about northern life through a Cambridge lens. He writes northern people that I don’t completely recognise. The playwright Richard Bean left Wakefield in 1956 never to come back, and Alan Bennett went to Cambridge and London and never came back. And I’m here. I do think you write different plays if you live away.
A. Both of those things really, but it’s also the economics of it. Bear in mind, at Hull Truck we’ve been famously under-funded for the twenty-five years I’ve been here. But my style has been informed through Brecht and German theatre. The more you try to create reality on stage, the more the audience quite often don’t get it. But if you create an internal reality, you don’t need real doors and stuff. What you need is real emotion. My heart sinks when I go in the theatre and I see a real room on the stage.
Q. With titles like “Teechers”,“Bouncers” and “Shakers”, do you work with types in your plays? A. You’re dealing with sketches. The point of my plays is that they are energy-driven, rather than narrative-driven.
Q. What’s different about writing a play for television rather than for stage?
Q. How do you get the balance between writing what audiences want or what you consider to be great art?
A. The way you deconstruct the story’s scene structure is clearly different on telly. The precision of the language is perhaps more honed on telly than in theatre. Theatre perhaps still has a rough edge – a rough magic to it.
A. Well, I only write the plays I want to see, and if the audience come with you, then great. I’ve only ever wanted to write plays that were good. They’ve become popular because they’ve caught a moment. You have to risk and of course risk is difficult.
Q. How has your writing style changed over the years? A. Well, my subjects have changed, but I don’t think that my writing style has. I think you try to remember what it was that got you into theatre in the first place. You can quite easily forget what the excitement was. I wrote my first play in 1981 – Cramp for the National Student Drama Festival. It’s what I’d call a Royal Court play – a young man tries to come to terms with his sexuality and ends up taking his life. It was based on an incident that happened to a friend of mine, and that was the reason that I started writing plays.
LISTINGS
Q. Is it hard to strike a balance between writing plays that will wow the critics and also writing for people who’ve never been to the theatre before? course there are limitations because you hear actors and you start thinking, “That’ll be one for him or her”. I find if I hook the people on in my head though, I know who the characters are. I mostly work like that now.
Q. You clearly have a loyal following in Hull.
Q. Is it hard to direct something you feel so close to and have such strong opinions on like your own work?
A. I think it’s crucial if you want to write plays to get them on in front of people. That’s why I went to the National Student Drama Festival and to Edinburgh endlessly. I was excited by it. I found writing plays a way of understanding
A. No, not really. You have to forget you’ve written it when you’re directing it. But you can’t forget you’re directing it when you’re writing it. You have to try and solve some of the problems for the director as the writer. I’m not that
A. To be absolutely honest, I don’t think I write anymore for people who’ve never been to the theatre before. I think I’ve done those plays. What I’m more interested in now is writing about the truth as I see it. If people who’ve never been to the theatre before come to see a play that tells a truth and they relate to that, then it won’t matter if they’ve been before or not. They see it and they go, “F***ing hell, that’s the truth”. Authenticity is critical.
Interview by Anna Wormleighton Snake in the Grass, Stephen
york royal flogging a dead horse M
eet Damian Cruden. Artistic Director of the York Theatre Royal, he has recently finished directing a highly successful sell-out run of The Railway Children which was a joint venture between the theatre and York’s National Railway Museum. The performance was staged on built-up train tracks, with the audience sitting on the platforms either side. Brilliantly acted and beautifully directed, the highlight of the performance nevertheless was the entrance of a 39-ton steam engine at the end of each act which was greeted by frenetic flag-waving and cheering from the audience. Quite rightly, the production earned a rare five star review from the Guardian who described it as “a spectacular triumph of atmospheric invention”. Since coming to York Theatre Royal ten years ago, Damian Cruden has brought with him a treasure trove of ideas (of which this was one) and a creativity and vision that has made the theatre into one of the best success stories of regional theatre. Over the past year, Cruden has been responsible for the world premiere of the politically brave play Patient Number One by the prolific American playwright Donald Freed. Cruden also directed an innovative revival of an under-performed Alan Bennett play from the 1980s, Enjoy, which now seems to be enjoying a second wind following the York production. This season, he is tackling one of the greatest modern plays of all time, Arthur Miller’s Death of a Salesman. Willy Loman is a salesman who can’t sell. He is growing old and his mind is going, but he simply cannot give up his job because of his sense of personal dignity. Willy’s downfall is that he is driven by the American Dream’s promise of success and his belief that with personality, knowing the right people, and a smile and a shoeshine, a man can end up with diamonds. Consequently, Willy resorts to lying to everyone around him to convey the fact that he is a great individual. Despite his falsely optimistic outlook, Willy’s world crumbles around him as he gets fired from his job by a young upstart manager, and his sons find themselves at a loss with what to do with their lives. It’s a story that has moved people across the world and over the decades because of the poignant portrayal of a small man who has futile ambitions to be a great man and dies with nobody at his funeral. Dustin Hoffman took on the title role in the 1985 television adaptation of Death of a Salesman, featuring John Malkovich as Willy’s son Biff. More recently, Miller’s play was produced in London staring the large-framed actor Brian Dennehy as the failing salesman. Premiered nearly sixty years ago in New York, it now comes to York under the direction of Damian Cruden and starring George Costigan as Willy Loman. Both hilarious and poignant, this is a play that is sure to excite and move anyone who understands the difficulty of parental pressure, the fear of growing old, or the expectation to succeed.
Anna Wormleighton
Death of a Salesman will be at the York Theatre Royal from 31 October-29 November. Box Office 01904 623568. Student tickets only £5.
SPOTLIGHT
MUSIC
FILM
TV
BOOKS
CULTURE
LISTINGS
regulars MONDAYS
Speed Quizzing £1.50per player Orgasmic 8.30pm
If the conventional and somewhat humdrum question and answer, pen and paper routine isn’t enough for your super-fast cranium then check out the Orgasmic action. Get your wireless buzzer and leave other quizzers eating your questionable dust.
L
a swelling appreciation ethal Weapon 4. Yes, has been modern day chimera throw me in the gram- for that s/Hannah Montana. Cyru y Mile mar slammer; I made a Perhaps I’m feeling fresher; do sentence out of a buddy cop the Jonas Brothers speak the sequel film. Maybe accepting truth? Is ‘Strictly’ enriching? atic cinem Mel Gibson into your Russia is visible from Alask- no, heart signals the creeping cheapno, some borders should never be as elf ening and failure of ones breached, some rims are there a person, but I greatly enjoyed for a reason. So, short of mainone Chris Rock and the funny lining the Disney Channel, which from Goodfellas handling immiwould have its propriety defining gration with gentle comedy. The perks, it’s time to find my inner more I muse, the further the iron cheerleader. Drill, baby, drill. SS grip of Hollywood reaches; there
week 1 TUESDAY
14.10 FRIDAY
Pillage the Village £2 Q-Jumper Town/TRU 7:30pm Those who spend time on their event names will be rewarded here. Maybe don’t tell the good folk of York that they’re about to get a right royal pillaging…that you’re about to pillage their brains out etc. In retrospect, perhaps not much time was spent on that name, but that’s why they call it a flash of inspiration. Red and black, bar crawl, you know it’s TRU.
WEDNESDAY
15.10
(Beats)iality – Roll Deep £10 Fibbers 7.30pm “By far the UK’s biggest Grime/Hip Hop crew” – two smaller since they set Wiley (only for him to go and lose his Rolex) and Dizzee Rascal free. On the road from East London are: J2K, Scratchy and Flow Dan. With support from Spleen & Will P, RZL, Ceptic and MC Ruin.
Unwind/Unreel P/X/001
£3 6pm
Conflicting reports surround this one's title, but it must have been the Sophie’s Choice of event naming, bravo from this end. Slightly more upbeat double feature coming at you- it’s Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and Get Smart. Saddle-up your high horse and see if the latter lives up to its title and the former to its reputation.
THURSDAY
Halifax Bar FTSE Yates's
16.10 Free 8pm
It is nice to know that someone other than financial analysts is making a bit of cash out of the credit crunch. They’ll get you to the York Alcohol Exchange (aka Yates’s) faster than the Underground, and then its “buy, buy, buy! Sell, sellwow those drinks companies are folding fast”. The prices go up and down depending on popularity, so bring an economist (they’ll be a few who are at a loose end) and insider trade your way to a mortgage-busting pint.
Planet Pop Vanbrugh
£6 9pm
Out of this world and back to school, it will be like you never left. Remember that girl who did a cover of ‘Hey Mickey’ that re-wired your memory leaving nothing else intact? Wikipedia have sparingly called her a pop star and mentioned this very gig on their page about the chanteuse. It’s just like school used to be; tuck shop, goodie bags for the geeks and of course, ‘Shag Tag Blackboards’.
Revenge – A Comedy... York Theatre Royal
17.10
£5 7:45pm
About Life, Death and Custard. Eggs finally give custard its just deserts. It sounds like a bit of a supermarket affair with aubergines, terrorism, i-spy, immigration and ice cream on the shopping list. Featuring the Robert De Niro and Al Pacino of York – The Pauls Osborne and Stonehouse.
Gonzo On Tour £5 Fibbers After main show
Watch out, Zane’s about. He’s up against Yo-Yo, the duo behind ‘one of the UK’s most important ever club nights’. So instead of weeping because you’ve missed out on the sold-out Foals main show, pretend you’re too good for scheduled performances and go to the after show party. Ra ra ra.
SATURDAY
YUSU Fair SW Campus
18.10
Free 10am-4pm
Who's the fairest fair of them all? YUSU are. No I'm not on the payroll; not only is this one going for the low, low price of free, but you’ll actually end up in the black as they’re just itching to give you stuff. Just don’t take stuff from anyone who’s itching. It’s located in the Sports Centre, the Physics Centre, the Roger Kirk Centre and Goodricke dining hall under the Docklands-like re-branding ‘South West Campus’.
Pudding Orgy James JCR
Free 8pm
Just use protection and don’t get covered in cream or you’ll have the Welfare Team on your back.
Access All Areas College Bars
£8.50 8:30pm
One ticket, seven (for now) bars, two rooms playing Chart ‘n’ Cheese – innumerable points on the fun-ometer. But seriously, there’s live music, funk ska, silent disco, dance, RnB, indie, a ‘VK Club Night’ and the 1960s all-girl group the Ronettes. Ok, not seriously then.
SUNDAY
Freshers' Comedy Central Hall
19.10 £8.50 7:30pm
Widely regarded as one of the best value events of the year and one of the only times you’ll see Central Hall without a provost or a sweaty group of examinees in it. Ivan Brackenbury leaves audiences ‘on the verge of being hospitalised with laughter’. In case Paul Sinha, Dan Knightingale and Seymour Mace aren’t funny enough for casualty, the medical centre’s just seconds away.
week 2
MONDAY
Scott from 5ive Leeds Union Stylus
TUESDAYS
Salsa Classes Bobo Lobo
20.10
£2.50/3.50 10pm
You remember Scott from ‘5ive’ (yes I did write it like that); he’s the one with the particularly pronounced gel spikes in his hair. He’s brought to you this time courtesy of Leeds Uni’s ‘Happy Mondays’ nights. Make sure you leave before the lights go out.
TUESDAY
Big Bike Sale Vanbrugh Paradise
It’s not that easy being green; especially if you’re one of the poor schmucks whose innocently abandoned and forgotten bikes have been hoovered up by security and flogged by YUSU. All at bargain knock-down prices and they’ve sorted your ride home.
Free 6pm
It’s actually really quite dangerous and exploitative. There’s some kind of free alcohol, 20% off and a gift occasionally featuring Kate Moss. We are all just prisoners here of our own device.
WEDNESDAY
22.10
Mercy & Grand £3 Jack Lyons Concert Hall 7:30pm
It’s Opera North in the driving seat with songs by Tom Waits (shocker), Kurt Weill (we’ve had him in before), gypsy tangoes and a hymn. They’re a ‘circus band’ ensemble- this is getting better and better. OMG there’s a sea shanty.
THURSDAY
Brand New Heavies Leeds Union Refectory
23.10
£15 7:30pm
It’s a nice 90’s revival we’re having; acid jazz courtesy of the Ealing four-piece. Ain’t it good to know that you’ve got a friend, for a friend in Leeds is a friend indeed.
£4/5otd 9pm
Hey dudes, those ankle snappers at RAG have got a gnarly new way to get stoked: red if you’re taken, green if you’re single and amber if you can be tempted. Handy and charming. Text your drunken message to have it announced by the DJ. Cowa-freakin-bunga.
21.10 SATURDAY
Free from 12pm
TOPSHOP Lock-in Coppergate
Surf's Up Vanbrugh
Bandstand Brass York Theatre Royal
25.10
£8 2:30pm
Are you ready for exhilarating speed, invigorating competition and skating so sharp-edged you can feel the ice spraying in your face? Actually that’s the publicity for the 1986 Rob Lowe film Youngblood not Bandstand Brass, but there’s really nothing to choose between them.
SUNDAY
House Concerts York
York Area
26.10
£10 donation
7.30pm
Who plays gigs in a house like this? Poke around the homes of others and hear Jay Nash, Joey Ryan and Amber Rubarth in an intimate setting. One of the songs is from a Channel 4 advert apparently. Much heralded – www. houseconcertsyork.co.uk
BEYOND....
Club Salvation Rougier Street
from £2 Thurs - Sun
When anyone threatens to send the number of venues in York’s ‘vibrant night scene’ into the stratosphere we’re first on the scene (after the emergency services). The website is quite someting. ‘The kind of club York has been waiting for’ has had its claim to fame stolen somewhat by the Ziggy’s strip club appendage, but hey ho, you can’t drink them all; especially when trying to steal the Wednesday favourite's illgotten crown. Clubbing saves.
£4NUS 7pm
They're going to great pains to convince us that they're York's longest running and only professionally trained Salsa teachers. Just as well then, because you're going to get great pains learning it.
WEDNESDAYS Seriously Enthusiastic... £8 Space 109 6:30pm Life Drawing Group. Just be glad you’re not the model, unless of course that is just your cup of tea. In which case I have no further comment.
Open Mic Night The Locomotive
Free 8.15pm
Free supper and raffle. Oh, and open mic.
THURSDAYS Vanbrugh Bar Quiz V Bar
Free 8.30pm
With bounty like Gallery q-jumpers and Bacon themed rounds, how can you say no? Teams limited to six players so that you can’t completely plunder Vanbrugh’s resources.
FRIDAYS
Fruity Leeds Union Stylus...
£5/4adv 10.30pm
Billed as a party for all students and their mates, this lot are going to have a bit of a job on their hands pleasing everyone. But wait, three rooms and they've got Chris Martin (still not that one) back again; I stand corrected.
Bourne Live The Melbourne
Free 9pm
The Melbourne’s had a makeover and the lead singer from York band The Summits is hosting an open mic night there every week. Anything more showy than a piano or guitar must be provided by the performer.
SATURDAYS
Central Beatz vs Curves £3/5otd Leeds Union Mine 10pm
Every 2nd Saturday of the month an arrangement of drum and bass DJs will face off until 4am.
SUNDAYS
The Otherside of Comedy... £8 CityScreen Basement 7pm
Much celebrated Sunday night comedy club. Usually featuring two guest comedians. Laugh it up.
Jam Session Speakeasy
Free 3pm onwards
No idea if it’s any good, no sarcasm to hand; simply here because it’s in a Speakeasy. Her name might be Tallulah…
Vision cannot be held responsible if the words herein do not reflect promised "sunny" demenour. Content may shift in transit.
25 SPORT
YORK VISION
Gabby Logan
FOR SOME, the recent problems at Newcastle United football club have been about as entertaining as a Joe Kinnear press conference. However, for individuals such as Kevin Keegan, it has been a nightmare. Keegan resigned from Newcastle last month after becoming unhappy with his role within Newcastle’s controversial management structure. Sympathy has not been in short supply for Keegan and the latest to offer their thoughts is BBC Presenter and Newcastle fan Gabby Logan: “I do feel sorry for Kevin Keegan” Logan exclusively told Vision, “He has a certain temperament that isn’t suited to that kind of situation. He said as much as that himself when I interviewed him for Inside Sport last year as he told me he would never go back into management. He said he would never go back to Newcastle.” However, in January this year Keegan returned to St. James Park to replace Sam Allardyce. Allardyce had failed to endear himself to Newcastle owner Mike Ashley and keen to recreate Newcastle’s glory days of the 1990s, Ashley brought back the man who had delivered them to the upper echelons of the Premiership. However, the relationship between Keegan and Ashley soured. Keegan found himself working within a management structure that was not suited to his philosophy. “I’ve been working desperately hard to find a way forward with the directors, but sadly that has not proved possible,” Keegan said in a statement following his departure in September, “It’s my opinion that a manager must have the right to manage and that clubs should not impose upon any manager any player that he does not want.” Ashley - along with Director of Football Dennis Wise, who is in charge of the club’s transfer activities - was blamed for Keegan’s resignation. Consequently, Ashley, who been at the forefront of the Newcastle fans’ abuse, has decided to sell Newcastle and Logan was happy to comment on Ashley’s downfall: “It’s a modern football dilemma. He is evaluating what is going on and knows he is failing the club. He has made it clear he should go and wants to go, so he should go.” Whilst Ashley has become public enemy no.1 on Tyneside, Newcastle fans in recent times have built up a reputation of being a tribe of arrogant, deluded and impatient fans, something Logan disagrees with: “I don’t think so. The club had a lot of success in the late 90s particularly with qualifying for Europe. Like any club that wants success they want to get back to
Rugby BY ALEX CORP THE UNIVERSITY of York Rugby 1st XV got their season off to a winning start on Saturday afternoon after securing a comfortable, if aesthetically underwhelming, 25-17 victory against West Leeds RUFC. There were initially few signs of rustiness. When Sam Keeley touched down in the corner to register the game’s opening score inside ten minutes, skipper Mike Callis seemed set to enjoy a dream start to his tenure. York’s set piece was functioning well, even turning over the heavier Leeds pack at the scrum on several occasions. The backs, too, started with flair, with full-back Alex Thornton and veteran Danny Stacey enjoying space in Leeds’ ponderous midfield. But the visitors had no intention of rolling out the red carpet for Callis’s new charges, and they quickly regrouped after York’s flying start. The ruck area became a warzone, and Leeds’s frenzied attack on any loose ball meant the hosts began to cough up posses-
what they had before.” A belief held among some football fans is that Newcastle fans will not be happy unless former player Alan Shearer or Kevin Keegan is manager of the club. Logan doubted the chances of Shearer becoming Newcastle manager: “The more time goes on the more he won’t want to. He’ll realise what a tough job it is. He’ll only do it if he believes he can.” She said, “Alan loves the club but probably wouldn’t want to damage his stock by becoming Newcastle manager.” There is more to Gabby Logan than football; she is married to former Scotland international rugby player Kenny Logan and admitted that she would never consider marrying a footballer: “Ha-ha, I’ve never been out with one so that wouldn’t be a preference.” Logan studied Law at D u r h a m University and she detailed her
Tuesday October 14, 2008
talks to Robert Romans
sporting activities as a student: “I never competed for Durham. I played a bit of sport but not too competitive. I played a bit of netball and did a lot of rowing. My gymnast career had just finished and I was too busy doing radio and other things.” She also admitted that she has never competed against the University of York in sport. After graduating from university, Logan embarked on her career in broadcasting. Logan has enjoyed a glittering career in broadcasting which has included spells at the BBC, Sky and ITV, the latter being Logan’s previous employers. “I enjoyed the Champions League at ITV, but my work at the BBC is a lot broader” she said. Did Logan have any regrets about leaving ITV for the BBC? “No, not at all”. Moving to the BBC meant changing from presenting the coverage of the
glitz and glamour of the UEFA Champions League to the FA Cup. Did she find covering FA Cup matches a culture shock having fronted ITV’s Champions League coverage? “The FA Cup is a fantastic competition and covering FA Cup matches isn’t a culture shock for me as I used to cover them for ITV.” The broadcasting of FA Cup matches for the BBC is notorious for involving trips to the backwaters of the English football leagues for coverage; such a thing prompted a question about the worst ground Logan has been subjected to. “I suppose Kenilworth Road (Luton Town’s ground) is not the best in the world. It looked really gritty from the outside” she reminisced. Travelling around the country and the world has contributed to Logan’s advanced collection of sporting memories, good and bad: “I loved being at the Rugby World Cup finals from a work point of view. The 2005 Champions League final was also a real high. A real downer was the 2006 Champions League final in Paris. Beijing will also be fondly remembered.” During the summer, Logan presented the highlights of the Olympics from Beijing, an occasion she defined as a “fabulous experience”. The 2008 Olympics were contested during protests in Tibet, which were fuelled by day-to-day grievances and a desire for Tibetan independence from Chinese rule. Did the crisis in Tibet sour the occasion? “It didn’t sour the occasion” Logan commented, “It’s a long political question that I couldn’t give an answer to. Beijing was a fabulous sporting spectacle. Everything was covered well from a sport and political point of view.” Great Britain finished 4th in the medals table at Beijing 2008 and Logan believes the future is bright for Team GB: “4th place was the aim for the 2012 Olympics” she said, “Team GB will hope to go one better next time. We have talented athletes and the athletes will have matured a lot by 2012 so I would say things are looking well for 2012.” One athlete who was not present in Beijing was disgraced sprinter Dwayne Chambers, who was given a life-time Olympic ban and has tried to appeal against it. “I thinks it’s a question of what the rules are.” said Logan, “You have to deal with it. I’d feel slightly angry if the sport allows drug cheats to come back”. Athletes such as Dame Kelly Holmes have spoken out against Chamber’s ban appeal and Logan felt they had the right to: “We live in a democracy and they have a right to comment” she said.
YORK LEEDS BY EXAMPLE sion with alarming regularity. The incisive running lines and clinical passing, which charcterised the opening salvos, absconded themselves as Leeds’s dominant inside-centre led a period of increased pressure into the business end of the match. Callis criticised the referee after the game for the lack of protection he gave in the contact area, calling him: “comfortably the worst referee we’ve ever had.” The skipper was incensed when play was waved on after Redshaw was flagrantly taken out in the air because “he had basically landed.” York came close to conceding the equaliser, but held firm against Leeds’ belligerent assaults. Callis singled out Chris Reid-Milligan and Will Tate for praise after the game for the way each stepped up to take responsibility on defence. Both look set to play a larger part in the squad in their second years at the university. York’s resilience was rewarded when a bullocking run from number 8 James Bennett eventually led to Spanker diving over
near the posts. The five points vindicated his decision to ignore his unmarked colleagues outside him, but York were showing the effects of their late start to pre-season training, with poor options putting paid to promising situations time and again. The White Rose scored the first points of the second half to effectively end the contest: Dave Lowe slotted home a penalty, before Tim Worzley put hooker Ash Alexander over in the corner from another penalty to take the score to 18-0. But the home side’s lack of fitness began to tell after sixty minutes when Leeds’s full-back slipped through one of the worryingly ubiquitous gaps in the tiring defensive line, running 40 metres to score in the corner. Leeds then added a penalty and suddenly found themselves back in contention. With five minutes left on the clock, York sealed the win when second row Andy Barnett drew his man and sent Mike Callis galloping through the desperate cover and over the whitewash. The skipper didn’t let the
patchy performance, or Leeds’s late try, take the gloss off the triumph: “Winning is a good habit to get into, and the most important thing was shaking off rustiness. There were some good performances, with guys like Chris, Will Tate and Sam Keeley all playing very well.”
26 SPORT
> Doubts over "extortionate" £40 membership fee remain BY ANDY MCGRATH UNDERLINING THE IMPORTANCE of an efficient dialogue between the student and the university, York Sport President Alex Lacy stated that the introduction of a sports development position “would be the biggest thing the university could do.” Moreover, under the new, streamlined tag of York Sport, Lacy is evidently keen to unite the teams as much as possible: “With all the clubs more united under a single brand with better service being offered, the university will realise sport is a massive deal at this university. They need to start putting into practise some of the things that former AU President Jo Carter had put forward in the Sport at York mandate…If you look at the disparity with funding between this university and other universities, it’s massive. As soon as the university starts proactively supporting sport then we can start moving forward.”
"EXTORTIONATE" Indeed, the coffers should be boosted after last term’s divisive announcement that the one-off York Sport membership fee was to be hiked up from £15 to £40 for this year. While smaller clubs, who already struggle to fill the 20-member minimum quota may, feel further marginalised by this, Lacy was adamant that students
were still getting the best deal possible, explaining that free indoor and outdoor fitness sessions are to be put on for members. However, he was vague about exactly what these would entail, only promising that recycled equipment such as tyres and ropes would be used. Discounted gym and racket membership are also added incentives in this new scheme. Proactive Lacy will himself be heavily involved, running some of the sessions. Nonetheless, it will be the students who will vote with their wallets. One sports club member complained to Vision: "Our club has no need for the AU facilities before. Therefore, £40 for mere insurance is extortionate. Considering we have to join the AU to become an affiliated club, it feels like a combination of blackmail and daylight robbery."
DIABOLICAL A prime example of the University’s treatment of sport at York is the cinder running track, described unashamedly by Lacy as “rubbish, absolutely diabolical.” However, with the introduction of outdoor fitness sessions, Lacy is hoping to get some hard use out of the facility. He is also looking to increase health and fitness on campus, as well as showing the importance of sport at the university to the officials that matter: “One thing I explicitly didn’t promise in my election was to get a new run-
ning track. It’s the fact that at the moment no-one uses it... You get people using it in great numbers, and then you go to the university and say ‘It’s not fit for purpose’. Someone has to make the first step, to show there’s a demand there for it." The Heslington East campus development plans are given short shrift by Lacy too. While acknowledging the construction of a swimming pool can only be a positive, he further challenged the university supremos to be proactive: “It’s a case of improving these facilities, not saying we’ll build some new ones when Hes East comes around - I just don’t buy that.”
ANTI-HAZING In the light of recent media coverage over initiations, Lacy took another tough stance: “It is a very serious issue. If they screw up, they will be severely reprimanded. If it’s individuals, then they won’t be playing sport for this university any more. If it’s a problem with the club, they will be deratified and won’t be existing for the next year. It won’t matter if you’re a smaller club or a more mainstream club. When student welfare is an issue, it’s not something we can play around with." The president was aware that all these moves are just baby steps in improving sport at York: “It’s really just about changing the culture of the organisation and getting the clubs to work together."
Vision asks...
Why are students boosting the coffers when the university won't cough up? The use of a decrepit, duck excrement-spattereD joke of an athletics track NO SWIMMING POOL - YORK'S FINEST USE A LOCAL PRIMARY school FOR TRAINING A discounted membership to aN IMPROVED GYM membership of THE “york sport” happy family Free outdoor and indoor fitness sessions...
A Nazi surprise...
Jim Norton debates the inevitable initiations that innocent freshers could soon be subjected to
Yes, under any other guise, it would be construed as bullying or even physical abuse. But it’s also undeniable that the inclusive initiation ceremonies build teamwork and camaraderie inside squads. Even if some team members may experience shaky Vietnamesque flashbacks in Somerfields whenever they pass by containers of Bovril/ tabasco sauce/Lea and Perrins. Paradoxically, it’s perhaps a better thing (if only for welfare) that sport is so undervalued by the university. A bigger emphasis and importance would mean larger clubs, more peer pressure, and the more vile and crude displays. As it is, you’re more likely
his fellow golf club chums, Gavin consumed four vodkas, three pints of cider, a glass of wine, several sambucas, and a pint of spirits. Unfortunately, he suffered alcohol poisoning and the only hole he found that night was his grave. This may sound rather daunting to
studying their club captains and realising how power (and absinthe) really can go to people’s heads. So why not suffer the annual humiliation and inevitable stomach-pump? Initiations are a university tradition. Generations of tramps, nudists, and
In York, you're more likely to to see twenty nude footballers storming Clifford's Tower than some kind of ritual disembowelment
V
Degraded: Scenes from Gloucestershire University's now-infamous initiation
to see twenty nude footballers storming Clifford’s Tower than some kind of ritual disembowelment. York Sport President Alex Lacy no less admitted: “The common sense of York’s sport clubs is very good: they’re generally more naked than dangerous!” A few of you may be intrigued at Lacy’s surprising confession that he is in fact a fan of flashing and this could well be why the university have decided to regulate the initiations. Freshers can now say no to a chunder cocktail or a willy windmill. But for those brave enough to refuse, the repercussions could prove far worse. Infuriating older members desperate to relieve their sadistic tendencies will never be a great way to make friends and this is surely the first step to becoming the club's whipping boy/girl, or even worse, the goalie. University life is about more than just your degree. It’s a chance to learn life skills before you enter the big bad world, where downing a pint in three seconds is suddenly no longer an impressive social tool. Unfortunately, a few American students in New Orleans took this positive attitude a little too far. Hoping to foster their cookery skills whilst also initiating new ‘friends’, fraternity members burned two students using hot water mixed with ingredients used for boiling crabs. They now potentially face up to 15 years in prison, the jokers. Stories and rumours of extreme initiations run rife throughout university but very rarely make national news. It is often a death that excites the sensationalist tabloid hacks. One such case, that of Exeter student Gavin Britton, would make an AA member proud. To impress
V
THE ISSUE OF STUDENT SAFETY in initiations has been dragged, slurring and puking, into the spotlight, after a recent Nazi/torture-related incident at a recent initiation at the University of Gloucestershire. Suddenly, this underworld rite of passage, previously passed off as just a bit disgusting and hardcore, is being criticised in the cold light of day by the national media.
Photo by Andy McGrath
LACY TO UNI: SUPPORT SPORT! > Discounted gym membership and free fitness sessions on offer
YORK VISION
Tuesday October 14, 2008
any freshers intending to join a club. But worry not, these cases are rare and York puts the emphasis on education and experimentation rather than extermination. Initiations can even make perfect case studies to liven up boring essays. Biologists will learn how the body responds to gallons of treble vodkas and mixers and chemists will appreciate just how many sweaty hormones can squeeze into one dancefloor. Any aspiring actors will perfect the ‘alert-when-sober’ look often needed to deceive a bouncer. Economists will truly understand the concept of supply and demand when ordering drinks at a busy bar whilst politics students will be
A night to remember: Sarah thought women's rugby would be fun
politicians were once fresh-faced freshers naïve to the wicked ways of university sport. To do away with them would be like Amy Winehouse without her addictions, or Joey Barton preferring a quiet night in to stabbing people with cigars. We may despise their flaws, but without them they would be dull and devoid of controversy. What would you rather be remembered for: scoring a goal or being able to drink beer up your arse whilst singing the Namibian national anthem…naked?
YORK VISION
SPORT
Tuesday October 14, 2008
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YORK SPORT: A RE-FRESHER As term-time kicks off this week, Vision has its fingers crossed for yet another year of sporting
success. After beating the Lancashire hotpots in Roses, sports clubs begin the new campaign in search of freshers to bolster their squads. So here is our step-by-step guide to sport at York.
2008/2009
SPORT IN YORK
To any Freshers reading this: you have a lot to live up to. 2008 was a vintage year for sport in York. Roses is always the higlight of the annual sporting calendar - an athletic tête-à-tête betweenYork and arch rivals Lancaster which started in 1965 - and it failed to disappoint this time round. Despite being on away turf, the White Rose moved into a strong lead before the final day. However, Lancaster dramatically almost snatched victory from the jaws of defeat; it took a last-gasp Richard de Boltz equaliser in the Men’s 1st hockey match to gain a 3-3 draw and the requisite two points needed for a 124-122 York triumph, the closest of winning margins. More pertinently, it puts York one ahead in the overall standings (22-21), with home advantage this summer. For passion, intensity, streakers and significance, this three-day "mini-Olympic" extravaganza is your first stop.
The 21st century has not been so kind to York City FC. Playing at KitKat Crescent (because of a sponsorship deal with Nestlé) in Bootham, they've been "having a break" from the Football League since relegation in 2004. As a result, historical and cultural centre York (population 185,000) can now look forward to weekly trips to the likes of footballing heavyweights Histon (popl. 4,360) and Forest Green (popl. 6,000). If any aficianados are in search of a better standard of quality, there's always Premiership surprise package Hull City an hour to the east, as well as Championship teams Leeds United and Doncaster Rovers within thirty minutes by train.
Varsity is another yearly contest, albeit one considerably more one-sided than Roses. Victory is always anticipated in our hotlycontested battle with smaller neighbours York St John’s and 2008 was no different, as the White Rose romped to a fourth successive triumph.
Instead, the big attraction here is horse-racing. Any punters looking to blow their student loans will adore York Racecourse - it has consistently been voted the best course in the North, and even hosted Ascot in 2005 when the former underwent a refurbishment.
WHY NOT TRY...
...FIGHTING
In a world of knife and gun crime, York offers a range of sports perfect for protecting yourself. For those wishing to fight with philosophy, Aikido (“the Way of harmonious spirit”) is a grappling art that focuses on the attacker's energy. Others wanting to recreate a Star Wars fight with sticks should give Kendo a go. And if you really want to kick the crap out of someone, someone; Mixed Martial Arts is guaranteed to make you the new Rambo.
...WATERSPORTS If the constant rain all summer dampened your spirits, now you have the opportunity to enjoy it. Join York’s water sport clubs and you need never complain again. Why not dust off the old wetsuit and try sub-aqua. Or if you prefer staying on top of the water, paddle over to canoe polo (pictured) . Water way to have fun!
...EXPLORING The countryside surrounding York provides keen nature lovers an ideal location to hike till their hearts content. Ben Lairig is an all-abilities club for keen explorers interested in scrambling, backpacking, and mountaineering. Cave and Pothole club present a similar experience but with added danger for those eager to challenge their claustrophobia.
COLLEGE SPORT
Following two weeks of inter-college nookie during Freshers Fortnight, the intense rivalry between colleges will once again rear its ugly head and devour any Derwenter fondling a Langwithian, any Goodrickan high-fiving a James, and anyone acknowledging an old-timer from Wentworth. Sports such as football, rugby, squash, athletics, tennis and netball, are fiercely contested over the year, yielding points which contribute to an overall league table. The battle for the College Cup has been the domain of the “Big Two”, Goodricke and Halifax, in recent years. College sport reps are looking forward to greater participation this year and are ready to plunge into the incoming haystacks of lazy, workshy freshers for any athletic, enthusiastic "needles."
SOCIALS
Wednesday nights are perhaps the most important fixture for sports clubs. Fancy dress, excessive alcohol consumption and nudity have long been winning tactics for club socials. But socials begin in controversy this year as the unbeatable Ziggy’s tradition has competition from the university supported Salvation. Could this mean the end for girls pissing in boys’ toilets? Is the beautiful marriage between drunken debauchery and Bon Jovi over? Offering vodka roulette, rodeo bull, and free alcohol for the best attended club, Salvation is heavily incentivised. But will York’s athletes turn their backs on the good old times when plain old drinking, Baywatch, dancing, and chundering were enough to celebrate a day’s exertion? Either way, alcohol-saturated socials should never be missed as they often ironically prove to be the most memorable nights at university: we enjoy every Wednesday night and social you!
TRYOUT TIMES
NETBALL - Week 1, Thursday 15:30-17:30 & Friday 14:00-16:00 SNOWSPORTS - Week 2 Wednesday, 14:00-16:00 at Sheffield Ski Village. Meet outside
Goodricke at 1.30pm. Anyone interested should email snow@yusu.org. £14 for the two hours. WOMEN’S FOOTBALL - Come and try session after YUSU Fair AMERICAN FOOTBALL - Sunday Week 2 on the pitch behind the sports tent RIDING - Wednesday 29th Week 3 2pm till 3pm. Meet at Goodricke Benches at 1pm prompt. Email riding@yusu.org for more info. BADMINTON - Sunday at end of week 1 in the sports hall at 9am. SAILING - Saturday Week 2, Meeting at Goodricke Cash Machine at 9:30am. SWIMMING - Monday of Week 2. SQUASH - Sunday week 1 (19th October): training session 12-2, and then boys trials 2-2.40, and girls 2.40-3.20, at the squash courts. HOCKEY - Tuesday- girls’ training 2-3pm, boys’ training 3-4pm. Thursday- boys’ training 2-3pm, girls’ training 3-4pm. Sunday- girls’ training 1-2pm, boys’ training 2-3pm, all on the Astroturf. WOMEN’S RUGBY - Taster session on Sunday Week 1, 12-2 on the pitch behind the tent. RUGBY - Sunday of Week 1, on 22 Acres, at 2pm. FOOTBALL - Monday 13th October 10:30 -12:30 and 14:00 – 16:00. Tuesday 14th October 10:30 -12:30 and 14:00 – 16:00. Thursday 16th October 10:30 -12:30 and 14:00 – 16:00: To meet at the Sports Centre. WOMEN’S TENNIS - Monday week 2 lunch time. MEN’S BASKETBALL - Week 1, Wednesday 1 at 6- 7.30, and Thursday week 1 at 7- 9 in the tent. ROWING - Introductory session on Wed the 22nd of October, hour-long sessions throughout the day, from 10am to 4pm at York City Boat Club. E-mail boat@yusu.org.
Tuesday October 14, 2008
Issue 191
SPORTVISION
GIFT OF THE GAB
Photo by James Norton
SPORT SUPREMO LACY ATTACKS LAZY UNI
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EXCLUSIVE NEW YORK Sport President Alex Lacy has attacked the university, criticising the abject lack of communication, funding and organisation of sport at York. In an exclusive chat to Vision, Lacy implored the head honchos to "read from the same hymn sheet". He continued: "It has to be students for students. There is no-one in the university side actually running sport in a strategic sense. Other universities have sports departments and a full-time staff. [Others] have sports development officers, whose job isn’t to make money out of the sporting facilities but to make sport at the university get better. This university
has really missed a trick there and they’re paying for it, and they know they’re paying for it. York is slipping down the league tables because students' impressions of the university aren't being taken into account, and sport isn’t being supported.” Over the summer, Lacy made several key changes to the sporting infrastructure at York. Among his biggest moves are fully assimilating the AU into the YUSU, with the new monniker "York Sport", as well as controversially pushing for Wednesday sport-night socials to finish in Salvation (formerly Nexus) rather than Ziggy's, as tradition dictates. CONTINUED Page 26
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