TUESDAY November 11, 2008
ISSUE 192
Vision@yusu.org
GUARDIAN STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE YEAR YORK GRIPPED BY ELECTION FEVER
P 14
HOT CHIP - SCENE
PHIL BROWN: EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW
P 23
EXCLUSIVE: LEAKED DOCUMENTS DAMN BAR CLOSURE
ARE THEY EVEN
LISTENING?
> ANOTHER BAR BITES THE DUST
> B. HENRY'S LOSSES EXAGGERATED > UNI TOLD TO "PUT UP OR SHUT UP"
BY MARTIN WILLIAMS ANGRY ALCUIN PROVOST Tony Ward has hit back at the university following the announcement that the college bar will be shut down at Christmas. Leaked documents obtained by Vision suggest that exaggerations and possible inaccuracies plague the decision for imminent closure of B. Henry’s Cocktail Bar. A determined campaign has been triggered by fears
that Alcuin could lose its focal point for socialising and cause welfare troubles for students. The college’s Vice Chair, Tom Langrish, attacked the university’s lack of commitment in supporting colleges, telling them to “put up or shut up.” “The university can’t claim to be a collegiate system if it’s not supporting its colleges,” he argues.
FULL STORY 3 FULL PAGE STORY ON PAGE 4
EXPOSED: BARMY BASIS FOR COLLEGE BAR CLOSURE
2NEWS
YORK VISION
Tuesday November 11, 2008
OOOH GET YU-SU FROST YORKER V YUSU BITCHFIGHT ESCALATES
BY JOE BURNHAM
A WAR OF WORDS has ensued after The Yorker published a statement on their website in response to YUSU’s move to temporarily disassociate the campus media organisation from the Student Union. 3 “We are naturally disappointed by their decision "The university can't claim to be collegiate if not to be more open to us” wrote The Yorker, it does not support its in a statement precolleges" pared by the editoAlcuin Vice-Chair Tom Langrish rial team. “Despite the fact we are not affiliated we still provide a bridge between YUSU and the student population as valuable as any other media outlet… We are surprised that the Students’ Union is not willing to support businesses run York Vision is literally fit to by York students for the burst with puns of the highest benefit of York students.” order. Writing in response, YUSU officer Rory Shanks has told The Yorker that “Every single sentence in Imagine being the poor road this statement… [is at] odds sweeper as they wandered down with the discussions I had Micklegate to find a large, with Dominic [Freeston, sweaty turd. Yorker editor] and it is for this reason I am so utterly disappointed.” He writes “As I explained to Dominic in a meeting on 22 October, YUSU made no long-term decisions about The Yorker. The clarification in UCC Number of people was simply that until Nouse claimed visited their election night blog.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
we could meet to discuss things further, The Yorker would be treated as an external media organisation.” Calling the statement “utterly one-sided”, he adds that “The Yorker has lost a genuine supporter”. The Yorker, based entirely online, currently exists outside of the regulated
GOOD WEEK bad week
GOOD WEEK
Our Puns
BAD WEEK
road sweepers
the number cruncher
100k 12
Rumoured attendance at Salvation last Wednesday.
0
Number of Alcuiners opposed to starting a campaign to save their bar.
campus media charter. This means that, while remaining editorially independent, they are restricted from obtaining official Union funding, and with this latest move, official recognition. With the decision, all communication between The Yorker and YUSU must go through official channels – the same lines, for example, that local nonstudent newspapers would be directed to if pursuing
information or comment. The decision also has implications for press accreditation and free entry to various University events, as now the website won’t be eligible to receive such privileges from the Union. If The Yorker were to sign the media charter, all written stories would be subject to YUSU review and possible objection, which is currently the case with both Vision and Nouse (including all online editions). The charter was originally introduced, in its current form, by former YUSU president James Alexander in October of 2004 in response to strong conflicts between the Union and the printed media. Despite the initial controversy at the time, The Yorker contends that “recent YUSU teams have used these powers reasonably.” However, they reiterate that they intend to remain independent for reasons of principle. The pressure is now on the editorial team of The Yorker to either resume Union discussions or disassociate themselves once and for all from the Union. Concluding, Rory Shanks writes “The ball is in your court to respond as you see fit”. For more on The Yorker’s YUSU negotiations, see COMMENT (Page 8).
JOIN YORK VISION US! Tuesday November 11, 2008
Fancy joining the best student paper in the country? No? Piss off then... ok, wait, come back! Email us at vision@york.ac.uk if you want to write, manage, take photos or get involved on the I.T side
Editors: Mike Regan Joe Burnham
News Editors: Emily Fairbairn Martin Williams
Deputy Features: Kelly Holt Alice Ankary
Deputy Editors: Emily Hodges Andy McGrath
Deputy News: Nicola Chapman Ruth Gallie
Lifestyle Editors: Joanne Rea Rachel Knox
Scene Editor: Andy Nichols
Comment Editor: Harry Pearce Daniel Hewit
Deputy Lifestyle: Gemma Williams Mark Jaques
Managing Editors: Sean Hodgkinson Ben Rayner
Deputy Comment: Sammy Cowley
Style Editors: Helen Nianias Immy Willets
Deputy Management: Patrick Harte
Features Editors: Josie Whittle Jake Souce
Deputy Style: Jude Hull
Photos by Jess McGowan and Chris WHite
your week
BITE
UNIS LOSE MILLIONS IN ICELAND BANKING BY TOM MCDERMOTT YORK STUDENTS can breathe a sigh of relief after it has been confirmed that the university is not on a list of 12 British universities at risk of losing a total of £77 million, following the recent collapse of the Icelandic banking system. The unfortunate universities known to have money tied up with Icelandic banks include the University of Manchester, Manchester Met., Open University and both Oxford and Cambridge; whose combined losses make up 53% of the total £77 million. However, officials from the Higher Education Funding Council for England (HEFCE) are insisting that there is no serious problem. A spokesperson said “We know that a small number of higher education institutions are affected, but the overall sum is not substantial when compared with their total investments.” In Oxford though, the mood is not optimistic. In a recent statement, the university said they were “not in a position to fully determine how much we’ll recover.” Meanwhile, Manchester Metropolitan has said that they are “hopeful that the authorities will secure the unfreezing of our assets”. Universities are not the only victims of the failure of Icelandic economy. It is estimated that in total British investors, including businesses, local councils and charities, had £8 billion deposited in Icelandic banks, a large amount of which may have to be written off. Prime Minister Gordon Brown has publicly declared his anger with the lack of assurances from the Icelandic government that they will meet even their initial commitment to pay at least £2.2 billion in compensation to the people who have lost money. But despite all the doom and gloom, the news for York is good: when asked whether our own university could face similar problems, David Garner, Senior Press Officer in the Communications Office confirmed for Vision that “The University of York has no funds in Icelandic banks.”
Guardian Student Newspaper of the Year 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2007 Food & Drink Editor: Sally Daniels Deputy F&D: Anna Kotenko Travel Editor: Alex Dale Deputy Travel: Zoya Pasha Andy Henrick Sports Editor: Jim Norton Michael Sneddon
Deputy Sports: Becky Lord Photo Editors: Juliet Burns Annie Law Terry Li Sub Editors: Martin Williams Ash March Scene Section Editors listed in pullout Call us: 01904 433720 vision@yusu.org
Opinions expressed in Vision are not necessarily those of the Editors, Senior Editorial Team, membership or advertisers. Every effort is made to ensure all articles are as factually correct as possible at the time of going to press, given the information available. Copyright Vision Newspapers, 2008. Printed by Yorkshire Web
NEWS
YORK VISION
Tuesday November 11, 2008
3
ZIGGY'S TRIUMPHS IN WEDNESDAY NIGHT BATTLE
WHERE'S THE
SALVATION ARMY? ...They all went to Ziggy's instead BY EMILY FAIRBAIRN CLUB SALVATION stood empty last Wednesday as members of the University’s sports teams abandoned the venue for old favourite Ziggy’s. promoters Salvation’s and YUSU’s Sports Officer Alex Lacy had been attempting to make Wednesdays at Salvation ‘The Official Night of York Sport’. However, the night has failed to win over York’s sports clubs, who have chosen not to attend despite generous free drinks offers. Although it was packed on the first York Sport Night, Salvation’s popularity has quickly dwindled. This week the club had to close early due to lack of business and it is rumoured that there were
as few as 12 clubbers in the venue at one point. Lacy admits that he is “a little disappointed in the promotion company’s failure to deliver,” especially on the much publicised entertainment on offer, which was meant to include Beerpong, Vodka Roulette, University Challenge on stage and huge giveaways. However, the real reason for the failure of Salvation to attract students seems to be the irresistible charms of its rival Ziggys. Confessing that he had loythe underestimated alty of sports teams to the Micklegate club, Lacy says that “Ziggy’s has a quality that sports clubs are unavoid-
ably linked to… Salvation just wasn’t going to able to recreate that feeling that you get inside Ziggy’s” Most of the sports teams began the term by holding their socials at Salvation, but many were unimpressed with the results. “Salvation is so similar to Tru and Gallery, it’s boring. Ziggy’s is different and it’s more fun,” says University Tennis Team “On player Jamie Nutter. Wednesday we just went in to Salvation for our free drinks and then went straight to Ziggy’s.” managing Salvation’s director, Russ Brown, is accepting defeat at the hands of Ziggy’s: “The promoter did everything he could… But
there is a massive loyalty to Ziggy’s, and I can understand why”. He gives the character of the “big old house”-style venue and the lack of door charge as reasons for students’ preference of Ziggy’s. Brown also believes that Lacy made the decision to move the night to Salvation without consulting the sports teams sufficiently: “in my experience when you tell people what to do it is human nature not to do it. The sports teams made their minds up However, on their own.” management Salvation’s remain optimistic that they will be able to continue to attract students at weekends with cheap drink offers. The failed promotion of
PHANTOM OF THE O-POO-RA DEFECATES MICKLEGATE
BY MARTIN WILLIAMS DRUNKEN STUDENTS were left confused and a little disgusted after witnessing an unknown York fresher taking a dump outside Ziggy’s recently. Witnesses say the Mystery
‘The Official Night of York Sport’ has thankfully not come at any loss to YUSU and has in fact made several hundred pounds for York’s underfunded sports clubs. Lacy hopes to re-launch the night next term with the aim of generating more funds for the sports teams, although Brown insists “there are no plans to re-launch, it just didn’t work”. Netballer Emily Mears spoke for many sporting students when she said “Salvation is lacking in odour and sweaty walls, it’s too sophisticated for Wednesday night. I won’t be going back there.”
shh!
mis ich v i n g h W ha ean b e ege d ked l l c o u c ch amgot of a c ent t u e v st o la p u s ICE W ? T day Fri
POO DUNNIT?
Pooer came out of the nightclub and started walking down Micklegate, before taking down his trousers. However, no one has been able to identify the student or provide any possible motive other than alcohol. One stunned eye-witness told Vision “It was stupendous! He
just had a shit on the pavement in front of everyone, I’ve never seen anything like it”. But he added “I’ve got no idea who he was, what a legend though”. The poo-based entertainment may prove to be a blow for Club Salvation who this term have been desperately attempting to
live up to the rowdiness that Ziggy’s offers. But the management should be quite relieved that students have been deserting the club en-masse if they want to keep their area free of this kind of public toilet. The incident marks the latest stage of York’s emerging
obsession with scatological drinking behaviour. In Week 3, Nouse wrote that crowds of Derwenters went to ‘piss on Langwith’ after a Club D, while last term there were rumours of students having fun posting excrement through letter boxes.
4NEWS
YORK VISION
Tuesday November 11th, 2008
student press We read them... ...so you don't have to Jelly Snakes
Police are investigating an Oxford university student night at club Kukui featuring topless girls wrestling in KY jelly along with a ‘fetish snake show’ reports Cherwell. One disturbed undergraduate described how she was surrounded by jelly smothered, raunchy performers: ‘They were only wearing small T-shirts, which they then ripped off and continued as good as naked apart from tiny thongs’. Although students were warned on Facebook to prepare for some ‘f**ked up Halloween sh*t’, the ‘virtual sex show’, billed ‘one of the naughtiest nights of the year’, has provoked much controversy, particularly as the event coincided with the start of Oxford University’s Student Union’s Gender Equality week.
Dumbledore Denials Professor Peter Wiseman of The University of Exeter has denied media speculation that he was the inspiration for J K Rowling’s character Dumbledore reports Expose. A Guardian article earlier this year claimed that his former student ‘is rumoured to have based Dumbledore on the splendidly bearded Peter Wiseman’. However Wiseman responded by saying ‘My beard makes no pretensions to splendour- and it was black’. Wiseman even denies Dumbledore’s trademark confectionary love: ‘Not only do I not like sherbert lemons; I have a rather dry taste; bitter beer, dry white wine, that kind of thing’.
A8 ain't GR8! A group of students of the University of Bristol staged a protest as part of a global mobilisation to end global poverty and inequality. Eight campaigners wearing masks of the A8 leaders and running gear staged the start of a race followed by a parade of placards pushing world leaders to meet the Millennium development goals. One student told Epigram: ‘We are here to demonstrate that we will not stay silent in the face of poverty and world leaders’ broken promises’. The event was one of hundreds being held around the world, including similar student lead events in South Africa and Costa Rica.
WHY THE EXAGGERATION? CRIES ALCUIN HEAD BY MARTIN WILLIAMS ALCUIN PROVOST Tony Ward has slammed Uni Administrators following news that the college‘s bar will shut down at the end of term. In documents leaked exclusively to Vision, Ward condemns the closure and accuses Commercial Services’ of exaggerating the bar’s losses. B. Henry‘s, Alcuin’s cocktail bar, was recently named the third victim in the university’s ongoing spate of bar closures. Alcuin’s Provost was unexpectedly informed that B. Henry’s Cocktail Bar would shut down at the end of term, following a loss of £7,000 last year. But the figures don't add up in several places: Ward was told that the bar lost £10k last year, when in fact, he claims it was nearer to £7k. “Why is this level of exaggeration necessary?” he quizzed. Furthermore, he questions the accuracy of the accounts. The phone and fax bill came to a whopping £759, which is around 20% of the phone and fax bill for the entire Department of Electronics. “Surely this cannot be accurate?” says Ward. Over £13k was spent on management which is more than enough to buy a full year’s Provost time, figures that do “not seem to be commensurate”. This has lead the provost to question the purpose of Commercial Services, saying “are Bars and Catering in existence to provide a service to the University community or is the University community in existence to provide a service to Bars and Catering? It is clear to me which way round things are at the moment.” This sentiment was echoed by Alcuin JCRC Chair Erik O’Connor who reminded students “commercial Services aren’t just a company: they’re a service”. Tony Ward’s remarks will provide ammunition for the hundreds of students campaigning to save B. Henry’s. Postering and negotiations have been taking place throughout the last couple of weeks after a staggering 109 votes to zero mandated Alcuin JCRC to campaign. Alcuin College Chair Erik O’Connor told Vision: “we have the arguments on our side, as well as the support of staff and students in all Colleges”. YUSU have also joined the fight following a vote at a Union Gener-
Ruth Gallie
al Meeting. Talking to Vision, YUSU’s Services and Finance Officer Matt Burton said he feels confident about the campaign: “a lot of students care about B. Henry’s and feel passionately that the provisions shouldn’t be reduced on campus.” It has also been pointed out that although the B. Henry’s bar makes a loss, the catering makes profit. In response, the JCRC has argued it would “be more natural to treat B. Henry’s as one account.” The proposed closure could
lead to major social and welfare issues for Alcuin students. A damning report by members of the JCRC, warns that “the welfare of new students is at risk as induction activities are more likely to take place off-campus.” O’Connor has added that “the bar has always been central in Alcuin. We need somewhere to meet… we need a social venue as well.” The JCRC further criticise Commercial Services over the lack of consultation before the
decision was announced. “The decision has by-passed both the consultative arrangement of the Bars Review, and the regular Committees of the University.” The actions of Commercial Services will come as a blow to surviving college bars fighting for survival. It has been predicted that Wentworth bar Edge could be the next casualty in the university’s war on York’s collegiate system.
NEW SHOP TO BE SANDWICHED BETWEEN YOUR:SHOP AND COSTCUTTER
SUB-WAY-AHEAD
Havin' a Grass! After a Wednesday night of ample alcohol consumption, an infamous Banjo player of the University of Cambridge and his mischievous accomplice returned to their college and had the good fortune to find a pile of scaffolding reports Varsity. Neither felt they were able to resist the temptation of spelling out the word ‘c**t’ in twenty-four foot letters on the pristine lawn. However, not everyone shared in the hilarity of this alcohol induced prank. One insecure don was said to have felt ‘depressed and upset’ believing the message to be aimed at him. The sensitive academic is still haunted by the indents of the letters on the grass.
PROVOST SCORNS B. HENRY'S SHUT-DOWN
BY RUTH GALLIE A NEW SUBWAY shop is set to open in the University’s Market Square, if YUSU’s negotiations with the chain are successful. YUSU hopes that opening the sandwich outlet on the former sight of Endsleigh Insurance will generate more business for cam-
pus retailers and stop students going elsewhere for their lunch: “You look into Browns [a sandwich shop in Heslington] on a lunchtime and it is full of people” says Matt Burton, YUSU Services and Finance Officer. “We are looking at why we lose so many people to off-campus shops and
if people want something different then we should provide it”. However, as the as the proposed site is directly next to Your: Shop, there have been concerns raised about how harmful this could be for the business of the student-owned shop. A first year Your:
Shop customer commented: “The Deli I work in back home loses a lot of customers to big chains like Subway, so it could be quite damaging for Your:Shop”. Burton, however, is insistent that Subway will not have a detrimental effect on the Union shop: “Subway offers a different type
of sandwich…we are constantly looking to offer more options on campus”. If the building of the Subway were to go ahead, it would be in partnership with YUSU, so it would be in part making money for the union.
YORK VISION
NEWS
Tuesday November 11, 2008
5
STUDENT CYCLISTS'
CAR CRASH HORROR
SINGER PUT TO THE
TEST-ICLE BY EMILY HODGES
> Po lic e in ve st ig at in g ca re le ss dr ive r BY ANDY MCGRATH A MAJOR CRASH has left a pair of University of York students nursing horrible injuries after they were hit by a car whilst out cycling on Monday afternoon. At a notorious crash hotspot between the towns of Haxby and Strensall, roughly ten miles to the north of York, a car ploughed into first-year environmental geographer Annabel Sill and third year medical student Neil Cattell, both members of the University’s cycling club, knocking them off their bikes. Sill explained: “A woman driver coming from the other direction was turning right, left it far too late and accelerated, hitting Neil pretty much full on.” Cattell continued: “I thought she was going to stop, then I realised she wasn’t. I think I screamed, then felt a complete calm… then I was on the ground, and in a lot of pain.” The fresher, who was just be-
hind her clubmate, could only watch in horror as the scene unfolded: “It seemed to happen slowly at the time, but it was a fraction of a second between me and Neil. He went up onto the bonnet, rolled across it and came off, just as I hit the front wing, by the passenger door.” Demonstrating the force of the impact, the front forks of Cattell’s Scott bicycle were snapped clean through, while his helmet was left cracked and battered. Dazed and in considerable pain after being catapulted onto the bonnet and back onto the road, Cattell managed to prop himself up on the offending car, a Renault Picasso. Just behind him, the prostrate Sill tried to shout to Cattell and no words came out: “The first thing that went through my head was that I’d lost my voice; I thought ‘I’ve crushed my voicebox, that’s the end of it.’ This has since been diagnosed as a haematoma in her voicebox. Of greater concern to her
VICTIM: Annab el Sill's horrible injuries and several of the people on the scene were her gory injuries: “I was covered in blood, bleeding all over the road. I wasn’t sure where it was from; people kept saying "your chin! Your chin!" Both victims praised the actions of a passing district vet, who stopped and provided the pair with gauze for their injuries and blankets. Ironically, the driver who had hit them was a nurse, but she was in a state of shock, “crying and sobbing, saying she was so sorry.” After contacting the emergency services, the pair were transported by ambulance to York District Hospital. Cattell was discharged after a thorough checkup, having sustained whiplash injuries to his neck and heavy bruising to his left knee. Meanwhile, having borne the brunt of the impact on her neck and head, Sill underwent a full head x-ray. After being given the all-clear, she had six stitches put in her chin and was diagnosed with a haematoma in her voice-
box. With initial concern over her condition, the doctors kept her in overnight. With a smile, Sill recalled: “it was the most boring night of my life, I had nothing to do!” While recovering back in York after the ordeal, the pair – both members of the University of York Cycling Club - underlined the importance of wearing a helmet around campus. Cattell was adamant that it saved him from a considerably worse fate: “The helmet definitely did its job. You buy this expensive piece of kit and all those times think ‘why am I wearing it?’, but the one time you’re in an accident, you’re glad you have it.” He also highlighted the sheer feeling of helplessness in his situation: “I wasn’t cycling recklessly. You can be doing everything right, and still get in an accident.” The police investigation is ongoing into the incident.
I'M A CELEBRITY, CHET ME OUT OF HERE! BY EMILY HODGES Reality TV arrives in York this week with ‘Stranded!’. The event is in the style of “I’m a Celebrity, Get me Out of Here!” and will take place for a whole weekend, in an area behind Central Hall. It is the brainchild of the former James Chair Chet Khatu, and all money raised will go to RAG. Representatives from each
college, including college chairs Oliver Lester, Matt Oliver, Zach Pepper and Erik O’Connor, will have to camp out together between Friday and Sunday of Week 5. The participants will also have to prepare to face “a variety of nasty, stomach churning challenges,” according to the Facebook page for the event, and it will be down to the students to decide who will take on each challenge.
Khatu told Vision that he plans on shipping in a supply of nasty treats for the participants, from a company in Devon that cooks bugs. He plans on challenging the campus ‘celebrities’ to eating grasshoppers, living on rations and taking mud-baths. Alongside this, there will be a ‘tent lottery’, where students can predict which contestants end up getting up close and personal, with
prizes available. “It’s all about colleges sticking together and promoting services,” says Khatu. The exchair says he is “really excited” about the event and promises he will even quit smoking for it’s duration. The whole event will be shown live over the weekend on YSTV, and it will also be covered by URY.
PIRATE RADIO
Photo by Jess McGowan
> "I was covered in blood, bleeding all over the road"
Photo by Jess McGowan
> Stu de nt cat ap ult ed on to bo nn et of car
MEXICAN CASTRATO Javier Medina has made his first ever UK performance at the University of York. The performance, hosted by the Music Department, has been hailed as a huge success by both students and members of staff. Tom Chapman, the President of Opera Society, called the event “a wonderful opportunity to hear something so rare. It’s definitely unique and a once in a lifetime experience.” Dr John Potter from the Music Department agreed, calling Mr. Medina “a very special person.” “It was great to see so many people there and everyone I spoke to found it quite moving.” He went on to say, “It was also very moving to see someone using in a positive way an extraordinary talent that might in other circumstances be regarded as a disability.” The name castrato originates from the Eighteenth Century, when boys would be castrated to stop their voices deepening. Now, natural male sopranos are highly rare. Medina’s voice is the result of him suffering from luekaemia as a child. Dr Potter describes him as “one of a tiny handful of singers able to recapture the remarkable vocal feats of the castrato Farinelli.” Javier Medina has researched the area of castrati for several years. His work complements that of another department at the University, Professor David Howard, from the Department of Electronics, who recreated the sound of castrati electronically. His work went on to feature in the BBC4 documentary Castrato, shown earlier in the year.
BY NICOLA CHAPMAN
URY HAVE won two major titles at the Student Radio Awards 2008, plus two third prizes, proving that York still dominates in all aspects of student media. URY’s Station Manager, Rob Watts, said he was “very proud and incredibly pleased that the hard work has paid off.” Watts himself picked up 'Best Interview' for his interview with Greg Dyke. He also picked up two third prizes for 'Best Male Presenter' and 'Best Entertainment'. The surprise of the night came when YUSU president Tom Scott scooped the “Kevin Greening Award for Creativity”. Scott was not there on the night to receive it as there was no mention that the award was up for grabs. Speaking to Vision Scott said, “I’m absolutely blown away by the whole thing. It’s a testament to how much time and effort’s been put in by the whole team that’s worked on the show for the last few years, and to everyone at URY - it wouldn’t be possible if we didn’t have such a bloody amazing radio station.” Rob Watt spoke of Tom Scott’s success, “I feel that it is a long time coming - I am so glad that Tom’s work has finally been recognised.”
6
YORK VISION
NEWS
Tuesday November 11, 2008
SUSPICIOUS ELECTION SCANDAL AT G.S.A.
T O N G VOTIN
? T I H T R O W T WEN Losing candidate: was he robbed?
BY EMILY FAIRBAIRN ACCUSATIONS OF lack of democracy have cast an ugly cloud over the recent elections for the Graduate Students’ Association. At an event held last Friday in Wentworth bar, GSA members voted for their new executive committee. However, the event reached capacity sooner than expected and as many as 10 GSA members were unable to get in to where the ballot box was and cast their vote. The GSA represents the needs of York’s post-graduate students,
who make up over a quarter of the University’s total student population. However, with the legitimacy of the new executive committee called into question their ability to do so may be damaged. Newly elected GSA president Rui Huang, who narrowly beat rival Luke Martin in the election, told Vision: “I think there is not a problem with democracy… I have made a big effort to obey the rules.” Huang claims that the ballot box was inside last year, when “the whole procedure was legal
and operated well,” so this year’s problems were unprecedented. In addition, during this year’s election the ballot box was outside during the daytime to allow members to vote then if they were unable to make the evening’s event. However, there have been complaints made that this was not enough to ensure that the election was fair, with some GSA members who had not voted only gaining access to Wentworth when acceptance speeches were being made. Yet Huang is insistent that the
SO UNDCUCKY
Trash-D Total Rubbish
LANDMARK FACILITY TO BE BUILT IN YORK
real reason that objections have been raised is because “someone is not satisfied with the result so he/ she argued for a rerun election.” A replay of the elections is possible, with the GSA Executive Committee meeting shortly to address the situation.
STUDENT IN-ACTION Embarrassingly few students showed up to St. Nicks fields
BY NICOLA CHAPMAN THE RECENT FAILURE of Derwent’s flagship events has left the college under fire for its bar and entertainment. Derwent has seen two out of three of its major events of this term left as nothing but a smear on its usually good reputation. Derwent’s three events have been Slag and Drag, Access All Areas and TrasheD. The latter two, however, were events most Derwenters hope to forget. The controversial closure of Derwent bar at Access All Areas (a sell out Fresher event) meant an estimated £4000 loss in bar takings for the College. Derwent reportedly closed for “health and safety reasons”, rumoured to be a tile falling off a roof that caused a panic about asbestos, leaving many fresh-
ers wanting to experience the biggest bar on campus feeling very disgruntled. Unfortunately for Derwent, their run of bad luck was nowhere near over. TrasheD, a Club D event, was forced to end after only an hour-and-half of revelry due to a false fire alarm caused by smoke machines. It has emerged that the bar manager and bar staff decided to close the venue as it was taking too long for the fire alarms to be switched off. Whether a refund will be given remains a mystery. One first year Derwenter spoke of disappointment in the college bar, “It’s such a shame that Derwent has been unable to live up to the expectations that we, as freshers, have. It is a good bar with nice staff and I don’t want future events to be discredited just because TrasheD and AAA were a complete flop.”
Others have been angry that they haven’t been able to get their money’s worth (tickets for TrasheD were £5.50) and felt "let down” and “put off” going to future events. “I think it’s daylight robbery,” said a English Literature first year. “All I got was a quick dance and then the alarms went off.” Derwent’s misfortune looks far from over, as it has been revealed that Club D Does Dublin has been cancelled due to poor ticket sales. Vision attempted to contact Derwent Chair Oliver Lester, but he was unavailable for comment.
BY SAMANTHA COWLEY STUDENT APATHY has already set in at York as Student Action’s first Mega College Challenge was BY drastically under attended. The competition between the colleges, held in Week 3 at St Nicholas Fields Nature Reserve, was supposed to launch the new Student Action Cup which pits the undergraduate colleges against one another largely like the RAG Cup. However, most colleges failed to send an adequate number of volunteers to the day of the tree cutting and planting. Vanbrugh College gained a clear win with a respectable attendance of 23, Langwith came second with just 9 volunteers. The worst turn out was provided by Derwent who had a representation of just one.
Vanbrugh Student Action Rep, Jane Hughes said that ‘considering it was such a good cause the turn out was disappointing’. Whilst Hughes did accredit this to the short notice of the event and lack of publicity she pointed to the winning turn out of her own college as an example that a good attendance was possible. The Dame Judi Dench Cup, named after the society’s patron, was created as a result of Langwith and Vanbrugh’s hugely successful Plant-off, also at St Nicholas's Fields, which was held last year. The success of the event was thought to be precisely because of its competitive nature. Under cup rules Colleges will be awarded a point per volunteer on all College Challenges and Mega College Challenges. "Student Action is a great way to get involved in your college" according to SA committee member Rachel Hes-
selwood. "Not everyone can or wants to represent their college in sport but College Challenges are open to everyone, they foster college spirit whilst giving something back to the local community". St Nicholas Fields in particular is a charity that does penetrate student life, as it currently operates a near carbon-zero recycling scheme in parts of the popular student areas of Melrosegate and Tang Hall. The next Mega Challenge, scheduled for Week 6, will also take place at St Nicholas Fields. Student Action President Adam Wiles is confident it will get more support for the colleges especially as it will be taking place during Student Action Week and should be publicised more. Wiles also added: “The cup seems to be clearly swinging in Vanbrugh’s favour, but this is something this Halifaxer wants to stop.”
YORK VISION
Tuesday November 11, 2008
NEWS
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8
COMMENT&DEBATE
YORK VISION
COMMENT & DEBATE
Tuesday November 11 2008
Because God doesn't exist......
W
Rip Off
hat exactly are we paying to be at university for? It can’t be our paltry amount of contact time and it can’t be the creation of a sociable and stimulating environment in which to study. Tom Scott states (over the page) that it's important to realise that university staff ‘have not forgotten about students’. Yet for Vision the move by Commercial Services to close B. Henry’s proves exactly the opposite. For the stiffs in Heslington Hall it is all about the dollar, and us? We are merely numbers. Even if Alcuin Bar is saved by sheer student persistence, it wont be long before the ‘just for men’ brigade make us think once again: what a waste of money.
Giant Sodding Accident Although electoral fraud was surprisingly absent from the recent US election, York’s Graduate Students Association, however, did not manage to escape its haunting spectre. This is just another page in the catalogue of York’s democratic disasters; first there was the Overseas Students' Association’s phantom president, then YUSU’s Pirate President and now the damaging allegations covered on page 6.
MIKE REGAN I’m not a selfish man. I often drop a few pennies in a charity box if I have been cornered, furthermore, I have even promised to buy loads of people drinks. But Nick Cornell, Dominic Freeston and co, you have made a selfless man turn selfish. The statement published by The Yorker was not only a factual fabrication but betrayed a genuine lack of respect towards YUSU and towards campus newspapers (see Page 2). For those of you have taken the natural step of flicking enthusiastically to my little spiel, you may be wondering what exactly The Yorker are complaining about it, you may have even heard complaints from some quarters that they can’t get free Grease tickets. However, the controversy is about a little more than the matter of free press passes. In 2004 Vision was forced, against our will, to sign the campus media charter. In forcing both Vision and Nouse to sign the charter, YUSU effectively ended a long tradition of uncensored student press at the University of York. We had been denied a fundamental right, the
I grant you, there were hardly Florida-esque blockades placed on losing candidate Luke Martin’s supporters, however this still calls call into question the legitimacy with which organisations like the GSA operate. However rumours that the dubiouslydefeated Martin is planning to stay in the political limelight by making a documentary on duck massacres has so far proved unfounded.
right to freedom of the press. they allow us a fair if not comDespite our anger we had pletely free reign over what no option. You do n e w s not bite the hand we prothat feeds. There vide you are uncountable charmbenefits to our ing peoaffiliation with ple with. T h e YUSU: firstly we need their Yorker on money, secondly the other h a n d they will provide operate us with legal aid completeshould we need it, but most imly withportantly they out cengive us free s o r s h i p. event tickets. Naturally In return I believe they have the fithis gives nal say on what them a vigoes into our tal funcpaper, though tion of just to be clear the Societies and communica- s c r u t i n y tions officer Rory Shanks has union do not wanand actonly go about de- slammed the actions of the countabilYorker leting our articles ity, in that simply because they report we are not viewnews withing their actions through rose out the constraints that we tinted spectacles. They have suffer. That is all very well and however gagged us from time good but in taking this decision to time, like when Rick Croker The Yorker alienate themselves punched a child or when we from YUSU and the university were set to expose the secret as a whole. Consequently their sabbatical sex ring. stance is completely paradoxiBut for the most part cal, they want to be a profound
Alex 'The Bear' Dale has a hissy fit over 'left-wing propaganda'...
THE BEAR Ziggy Stardust TORY MOANER
Salvation’s promise of free vodka on its first Wednesday club-night might have tempted the sports teams at first, but this week it was emptier than John McCain’s victory party. Ziggy’s, meanwhile, was back to being the usual crowded cesspit of fancy-dress frolics.
Ignored, however, is the sheer chauvinism of holding a club night solely based around sports players. The vomit-inducing, male-dominated world of sports socials leave many female clientele feeling somewhat uncomfortable. The arse-grabbing, pint spilling, primeval, aesthetically inadequate rugby players will act like animals wherever you hold the event, Mr Lacy. Stop trying to create a club night that excludes the vast majority at the university and concentrate on what you were elected to do: making our sports teams perform.
pain in the arse when it comes to YUSU and the university, yet they also want the help and the support of YUSU. It is the journalistic equivalent of burgling Tony Martin and expecting not to be shot. The statement released by the Yorker on Friday implied that Shanks had completely disassociated YUSU from The Yorker, though he had actually just rightfully indicated that The Yorker’s future needed to be ‘discussed further’. Well Mr Shanks I am of the firm view that you should eradicate any unfounded sense of puzzlement that may have floated The Yorker’s way by finally and unequivocally disassociating them from YUSU, both in the interests of fairness and respect. The Yorker themselves need to make one simple decision: either sign the Media charter and the censorship that comes with it or remain outsiders. I do not intend this to sound like a criticism of The Yorker as an idea. I do believe it to be a hugely valuable and commendable project, but that gives them no right to my event tickets. See you at Grease guys... I will be on the guestlist.
U
pon reading the comment pages of a recent issue of Vision, I stumbled across an article that begged for a reply. A friend and colleague at Vision, Harry Pearse, wrote a short article attempting to answer the question ‘Are York students politically minded?’ After grabbing my thesaurus and translating it into readable English, I found that the article wasn’t an answer to the question at all. Instead it was just left-wing propaganda aimed at ridiculing anyone with conservative tendencies, particularly new Tory party members who he thought represented 'cool-Toryism'. The fact of the matter is, these types of views are
unavoidable at York and I’ve practically got used to them. I recall a seminar in my 1st Year at York, where a fellow pupil just couldn’t understand why anyone would choose to be Conservative. Her ignorance had blinded her from making a conscious decision about her beliefs. Had I not been so incredibly hung over, I would have risen to the debate and alerted her of her complete ignorance. Instead I sat there in silence, sweating and trying with all my might to hold back what I’d consumed the night before. However, this opportunity I cannot miss. I think it’s about time the hippie left-wingers stop forcefeeding their ideas to students. Being repeatedly attacked
for my conservatism forced me to try to remember why I even am a conservative. Within minutes of pondering, it came to me like a divine thought: I believe in conservatism because I believe in tradition. Tradition is absolutely at the heart of conservatism. Regardless of what Thatcher believed, Conservatives believe in an organic state that has evolved slowly over time. We distrust abstract ideas, like Marxism, which aim to completely alter the way of life that has existed for as long as we have. To quote the old chestnut: why fix something that isn’t broken? Furthermore, it is in our very nature to create social structures that are hierarchical and we rely on strong leadership. As a result, conservatism will never die. It has a place within all three of the major parties. Like it or not, we live in a conservative consensus. People like Harry Pearse shouldn’t worry about the threat of cool-toryism. It doesn’t exist because Tories aren’t cool. Tories don’t even care about being ‘cool’,
because they’re sensible people who make educated decisions about their beliefs, rather than following the fashions of the time. There is certainly a growing culture of wannabe rebels, in their Che Guevara t-shirts, who call everyone with opposing views ‘fascists’ and this is a far more haunting spectre than "cool-Toryism". These people have a great deal of growing up to do. I’m sure “dreamy-eyed, soppy optimism” is fantastic escapism, but shouldn’t they wake up to the real world?
YORK VISION
COMMENT&DEBATE
Tuesday November 11, 2008
COMMENT & DEBATE
9
Not content with being Pirate Captain and YUSU President, TOM SCOTT achieves his greatest accolade yet, that of Vision's Guest Columnist... things earlier in their university careers, and it’s not surprising that there are usually swathes of students who feel they’ve been left out in the cold. They haven’t, of course — the Union officers really do try and represent every student — but when all you see are anonymous faces upstairs in the Student Centre and not actual people, it’s easy to get that impression. I was never part of the Students’ Union team before I got elected: in fact, I was damn cynical about the whole thing. I was one of the people who felt,
TOM SCOTT YUSU PRES
T
here was some talk during my election campaign that I’d be breaking the “YUSU clique”. For those of you that don’t follow campus politics – and I’m guessing that’s most people – there’s always been this perception that the officers of the Students’ Union, most of whom will have known each other for years, form a barrier around themselves and become an insular body that doesn’t engage with everyone. Here’s something that I don’t think any president’s ever said before: that’s true. And here’s why: when you work with people for eight, or ten, or twelve hours a day – and the workload is high enough that the latter’s not that unusual – you do form into a close-knit group. It’s part of being human. Every society, sports club and JCRC on this campus will suffer the same thing to some extent. Combined with the fact that, on the whole, the people who become part of the YUSU team tend to have been involved in similar
"...an
insular body that doesn't engage with everyone." just a little, that I’d been left out in the cold. So, now I’m inside, I’m doing my best to combat that insular feeling: you’ll spot me out and about around campus fairly often, sometimes in my pirate garb, sometimes not, and taking part in as many other activities as I possibly can. I can’t be everywhere talking to everyone, though,
ALEX RICHMAN
*4.
THE MAN WHO CAN'T LET GO
G
entlemen, it’s about time that you admit, firmly ensconced as you are on a reputable university course, that it’s over. You’re not going to make it as a top-flight footballer. You won’t be spotted by a scout during a game against Halifax 4ths or Huddersfield 9ths. The dream is dead. Or is it? It’s true that even at 18 you’re far too old to get into the big-time nowadays, but that doesn’t mean you can’t live the lifestyle. In fact, York provides everything you could possibly need to imitate the existence of a preening Premier League prima donna. So buckle up, and don’t forget to take notes. I’m going to show you how to turn this wretched financial burden of an education into something fun! *1.
GET
A
STUPID
HAIRCUT*
None of this faux-hawk rubbish, either. There are normal hairstyles and student statement hairstyles – like sweeping, bleached fringes, or dreadlocks – but footballers go the full distance. They’re so rich that on a night out they simply order the most expensive, extravagant item behind the bar; and if the last forty years of footballing fashion have taught us anything, it’s that this ethos is retained in the hair salon. Leave your balding barber behind, waltz into the Tony & Guy in town with your debit card out, and ask the drip with the lip-ring to do his worst.
*2.
WEAR
BODY
ARMOUR*
Obviously, you don’t need to actually wear a stab-proof vest (unless you want to live like a Liverpool player). Instead, make sure you’ve always got one of those skin-tight undershirts clinging to your body. It goes without saying that you have to colour co-ordinate with your outer apparel or, if you’re really stylish, match your shorts and/or hooped socks. You are wearing hooped socks, right? They’re both available from the local JJB, and various sports stores at the York outlet centre. *3.
ENGAGE
so if you spot me, do stop me, say hello, and tell me what’s important to you. After being elected, I pledged to do the best job I possibly could, and that’s honestly what I’ve been doing. I haven’t appeared all that much in the campus press, certainly compared to my predecessor: but personally, I prefer to keep my head down and get on with the job with the minimum of fuss. The side effect of that, though, is that when I achieve things, they don’t tend to get reported. So here’s one victory that’s passed by very quietly: providing a Student Centre on Heslington East is now a priority for the university. It’s on their central project tracker, and there are committees of people slowly but surely pulling everything together. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from this year’s Welcome Week, it’s this: never underestimate what can be done by large numbers of people working towards a common goal. It’s important to assume good faith. Just because the university’s administrators sit in Heslington Hall, it doesn’t mean that they’ve forgotten about students. And just because the Union officers need to stay in the Student Centre to do their jobs, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t working.
IN
GROUP
SEX*
You should be actively attempting to fulfil this criterion anyway – what else is university for, apart from alcohol abuse, sexual experimentation and arguing with your flatmates about whose turn it is to buy milk – but in order to live like a footballer, it’s an absolute must. For a rising soccer star, able to get any partner they so desire, carnal duets soon lose their lustre; by the time they’re actually appearing on Match of the Day, bedroom bonanzas are doubling up as depraved, camera-phone-captured orgies and team bonding exercises. This should all be relatively simple, as the ladies will be flocking to anyone following steps 1 and 2.
BE
ABOVE
THE
LAW*
Did you hear the one about the successful footballer with a clean driver’s license and no history of violent misconduct? Of course not. With Heslington Road closed, and most of the centre of town following a rigid one-way system, causing horrendous crashes when over the drinking limit may seem a tricky task. But don’t let that put you off: try wrapping a friend’s Vauxhall Astra around a lamppost after a skinful of Sambuccas, or urinating on a policeman outside Gallery while stealing a bike. Remember, persistence pays off. Nobody said this would be easy! *5. BURN OUT REACH YOUR
BEFORE YOU POTENTIAL*
This step requires you to show early promise at university, before ultimately fizzling out and quietly leaving with a few meagre extra-curricular achievements and an adequate second-class honours degree in a meaningless discipline. In fact, displaying limitless potential at the beginning of your academic career isn’t even all that important, just as long as you finish a washed-up, empty vessel of a student, bitter at the very system that chewed you up and spat you out. So, follow this guide and hopefully, when you’re stood in Central Hall in your cap, gown and lycra body armour, you’ll feel like you’ve just got off the very rollercoaster all those young footballers are busily whirling around on. Only much, much poorer. But hey, at least you’ve got all those clips of seven-in-a-bed romps on your phone! Shame about that electronic tag, though…
(Comm. Eds. Having turned down the oppurtunity to be Vision's Student Stunner, our illustrious former Editor elected to bow out from Vision with the submission of this article. Endowed with the same beauty as Thierry Henry, the Stunner page has really missed a trick).
YORK VISION
COMMENT&DEBATE
Tuesday November 11, 2008
COMMENT & DEBATE
SAMMY COWLEY
Y
USU goodie bag clutched in your grubby little hand you sweep a greedy eye over the proceedings of Freshers’ Fair. Looking for a free slice of Dominos pizza or even just a handful of jellybeans you realise with delight that York is rich with dynamic and diverse societies. What a wonderful world you’ve entered. Except this isn’t the case. Quality over quantity and whilst York is not exactly thin on the ground when it comes to societies it has always struck me just how pointless many of these groups are. Last June saw the ratification of two new additions to the throng; Ladsoc and Tanning Soc. Apparently York’s students weren’t content to tan or to even be merely young and male without an organised committee, YUSU money and YUSU approval. Where is the need and more importantly where is the justification? The Tanning Soc Facebook group has 104 members. Did these people really spend their previous years at York
"even the members of Fusion gain skills beyond how to look good in a white hoodie..." bemoaning the fact they had no society to promote their fake-tanning exploits? Would they even have joined if the two pound membership didn’t supply you with some excellent freebies and the chance to drink yourself orange via VKs at Tru? Whilst the society is obviously a bit of fun, and a chance for the enterprising founders to save on their fake tanning bills I see it as a further example of the student bubble that protects our lives at York. I am not, in anyway, against University Societies, indeed I delight at the puns provided by the likes of CasSoc and Soc Soc. They speak an excellent message of inclusivity. Any budding journalist can submit articles to Vision, learn the skills needed in the journalistic world without the same risks of the real world; even the members of Fusion gain skills beyond how to look good in (and keep clean) a white hoodie. Where it all starts to get a bit patronising is if the aim of your society is almost solely to bring together like-minded students. Put 10,000 people all of the same demographic into 200 acres in the middle of Yorkshire and the chance of not bumping into at least one person who shares your passion for Disney or Douglas Adams is a statistical improbability. The Student experience is clearly one of regression, we take mid day nights, we survive off a nursery food diet of egg and soldiers, baked beans on toast and yes, apparently we also need a social organisation for every single one of our interests, otherwise we can’t and we won’t make friends.
10
Socially impotent and awkward. But does swearing enhance the cool factor of Politics lecturers? Vision's Dan Hewitt is not convinced...
DAN HEWITT
S
wearing has long lost its ability to shock and offend. My mum rang me recently to tell me of how my younger cousin of only 3 said the word ‘shit’ at a birthday party and had the entire room in hysterics. It seems the public humiliation of a smack round the arse by your parents no longer applies and instead my younger cousin is apparently encouraged to use swearing as a comedic tool to gain praise and attention, working the room at dinner parties with his perfected pronunciation of various expletives. But though my younger cousin appears to be aware of this decaying language institution and its inability to provoke controversy, it seems York’s Politics lecturers do not. For it seems Politics lecturers still subscribe to the view that swearing equals popularity; that somehow by dropping in the odd rude word here and there they
will gain the adoration of their students, who sit in awe of this uber-cool individual and their lack of care for socialetiquette or educational standards. “ L o o k at this guy in his hi-tech walking shoes and woollen polo-neck jumper putting his finger up at the system! I sure hope he’s in Ziggy’s tonight.”
"Hobbes apparently didn't give a 'fuck' about Republican perceptions of liberty..." Swearing lecturers are I’m sure present in other subjects, but in Politics it has got the point where swearing is being used at completely inappropriate moments in a deluded attempt to appear “down with the kids.” Thomas Hobbes apparently didn’t give a ‘fuck’ about Republican perceptions of liberty, he thought they were all deluded ‘wankers’ with ‘shit for brains’,
that kind of thing. In their vain attempts to appear “with it” they ironically create a David Brent-esque moment in which the lecture hall collectively cringes, as said professor takes a short yet noticeable glance
"A David Brent-esque moment..." from his notes to check whether his rebellious act had gone down as well as the image in his head had promised. This doesn’t happen in other professions. The doctor performing surgery on your broken leg doesn’t ask the nurse to pass him the ‘fucking scalpel’, in the same way that High Court judges don’t describe the jury’s verdict as a load of old bollox. I fear that in an ironic twist this comment piece now contains so many examples of bad language that I myself am attempting to appear cool to you, the reader. Although I do indeed crave such a reputation, my intention is not to promote such
a perception but to argue that we don't care how 'hip' our lecturers, but that they are good at their job. And I mean come on guys, get with the picture. Swearing is yesterdays news. If you want to earn my respect, you'll have to perform some sort of live broadcast on URY in which you phoned my grandmother declaring your intentions to do the dirty with my sister , and subsequenty be forced to resign by University authorities. That’s what we’re into these days.
Fresh from Accident and Emergency with a broken elbow, Harry Pearse answers the age-old question: which student paper should you read? whose memories are unsound, a crucial decision lies ahead of you. Delineating and solving campus’ most important dilemma; which paper to read, are an important
HARRY
PEARSE
T
here is obviously an issue of partiality here. Raised on an insalubrious diet of rubbish lager, Efes and Vision throughout my university career, I’ve nurtured a nostalgic affection for, and dedication to the above commodities. Yet even under intense scrutiny I believe that this quintessential York University troika objectively justifies my high appraisals. Naturally, the joys of cheap beer and sweating kebab need no additional explanation; almost everyone I know has at one point had their lives enriched by either of these precious indulgences. However, both have little in way of competition. The £1.50 pint in Gallery has no rival equipped to refresh and rejuvenate at such low cost. An Effes Special Burger is an inimitable culinary delight. Fact. But, ones journalistic appetites are superfluously catered for in our campus bubble. And, with the year now fully underway, the administrative rigmarole of supervisor meetings and course enrolment etc are no longer a distraction. So, for the freshers out there, as well as our returning darlings
task. The different options are stark, reflecting, I think, the interesting student taxonomies exhibited here in York, to which I have referred on previous occations.
"Campus
politics is boring. The ducks are more interesting than YUSU's machinations..." In the interest of fairness I spent last week desperately entreating members of other campus publications to produce pieces to accompany this one. I offered them these very pages to extol their own brand, and provide you with a more balanced appraisal of York’s student journalism. Regrettably, I received nothing but rebuttals. Naturally, without a sparing partner a fair and considered discussion of the options available is impossible. (I find it unfathomable that people with pretensions to journalism would forego opportunities for the exchange
of views in the interest of reaching conclusion or consensus). Nevertheless, I feel loath to leave the University's inhabitants in a position of ignorance. Therefore, I will seek to briefly encapsulate what this paper does and doesn’t offer you. Let's be clear on one thing; campus politics is boring. The ducks are more interesting than YUSU’s machinations, and the equitable distribution of paperclips are of no significance to anyone. Consequently, when YUSU’s upper echelons convene to talk about the events of the previous few hours, the Vision office does not implode. We don’t have news editors whose lives are fortified by the Matt Burton’s edicts, or ‘contributing writers’ whose only means of entering a suffocating journalistic fraternity is by decamping to the YUSU offices and setting up a live feed. So, if it's regular updates of university administrative particulars you’re after, you’ll have to look elsewhere. A concomitant absence is of a stylistic nature. Apart from Vanbrugh’s chair, we try to limit Vision-’Important People’ intimacy in order to facilitate a necessary degree of detachment. Being the puppets of Alex Lacey and Charlie Leyland, (names I procured with great difficulty as most people don’t know them), would make the paper insufferably dull. Irreverence and humour are more easily achieved by not being bedfellows with those one reports on. (Regarding Matt Oliver, we mainly talk about football or his gross college negligence.)
Acting as the propaganda arm of certain societies, (Fusion?), has tarred particular publications with the brush of self-satisfaction. We at Vision are amicably reconciled to our ugliness. But were we beautiful, would not have the chutzpah to advertise that fact. Vision’s main function is to ensure that the foibles, amusements and disasters of campus don’t go unnoticed. Demystifying financial crises or offering rationales for overseas military intervention are the preserve of national newspapers whose staff are better able and better positioned to attend to such tasks.
"Students are more interested in who has recently fallen in a bin or accidently caught on fire..." University newspapers, steeped in blind emulation, and devoid of irony, have woefully misjudged their function, and forfeited their potential appeal. When leafing through campus papers, students are more likely to be interested in who has recently fallen in a bin or accidentaly caught on fire. Superimposing national news templates and formal journalistic conventions onto the workings of a student population is a mistake. As a community we don’t accurately reflect ordinary populations so treating us as such is silly. Ergo- I like Vision.
SATIRE
YORK VISION
11
THE SKETCH
Tuesday November 11, 2008
-
Vision gets all Satirey eyed...
by Tarquin Harry Algernon Hamlet Fox-Hunting Esq.
Red paint vs. Blue paint - No-Use American Paint-Drying Contest: Live Blog
23.00 Good evening, Welcome to the No-Use American Paint Drying Contest blog. Thanks for joining us. We’ve been eagerly awaiting this contest forthe last 39 years. Which will dry faster, red paint or blue paint? Rather than watching BBC, CNN, ITV, Fox, NBC, Sky News, QVC, Cbeebies, Playboy Channel or Dave, this is actually the place to be for history in the making. Who needs national, professional journalism, when you can have student media? Let the No-Use team, with its wealth of politcal experience and opinion, guide you through this long-anticipated night. 23.01 We’ve already had approximately 45,781,365 hits. 23.03 Obviously huge levels of preparation go into an event like this – official sources estimate that both competitors have been stirred almost non-stop prior to this evening and special attention has been made to keep them out of direct sunlight. 23.05 The paint has just been applied to the wall. A sharp intake of breath is shared by a riveted No-Use office. The girls are fainting with excitement and oxygen debt. Red or blue? A question to divide a nation. As I look around, most of the girls are going blue… 23.06 Both sets of paint are wet and glossy-looking. Thrilling. My heart is beating like a jackhammer. 23.21 History in the making. 00.16 - … 01.52 Pay attention, folks, this really is history in the making. 02.16 Our first comment of the evening comes from Jack in Langwith: “What’s the phone number for Efe’s?” 02.21 Of special interest to some observers, a joint ticket was indeed suggested, however, it was widely perceived that a purple alliance wouldn’t be to either’s benefit. 02.35 BREAKING NEWS: This remains unconfirmed, but the blue paint has stopped glistening and is starting to dry. Could this be the beginning of the end of this riveting contest? 02.41 We would like to stress that, despite various stories about our Editor illegally fundraising for the Red paint, we remain editorially objective. Really. I mean, sure he campaigned for Red paint over the summer, but that’s more to do with political experience rather than ideology. Really. 03.06 Let’s go to the Pretentious Deputy Paint and Wall editor #1 for his opinion: “Essentially this tête-à-tête is a metaphor for the state of mankind, if not life itself. There is an existential opacity to be seen in the blue paint’s current status, which could significantly weaken its chances.” 04.03 And an incisive comment from Chris in Goodricke, highlighting the passion this contest creates around the world: “Go red paint, ave’ it, you slag.” 05.45 This. Is. So. Momentous. I know we haven’t said it before, but truly history in the making, I’m so conceited, I mean, excited. 05.58 UNOFFICIAL NEWS: The judges are testing the red paint for smudginess, but they’re getting no prints on their fingers. Could this be it? 06.00 Red paint has been announced the winner. This is, without a doubt, the most incredible night of our lives, ever. Nothing else matters. Remember exactly what you were doing at the very moment you heard this news: Jesus’s crucifixion, Princess Diana’s death, JFK’s assassination, and now red paint’s victory. Red paint is going to change people’s walls and lives forever. 06.04 It hasn’t seemed real until now. The election has been going on for so long, that it just became another form of entertainment. Now that it’s come, some of the No-Use team are finding it emotional. This is real. This is history. 06.10 Duchess Mariana of Mecklenburg writes in: “OMG, soooo exciting Tarquin, I simply can’t wait for the British version of this, whenever that is. I fancy red paint, like, sooo much, it’s going to solve world famine, AIDs and the credit crunch. I’m going to B & Q tomorrow to buy twenty pots.” 06.54 It all happened in America so it doesn’t affect us directly, but that is irrelevant. The world waits. 07.09 History in the making. Right, I’ve checked and we’ve used every superlative and hackneyed, over-exaggerative phrase known to man, so there is literally nothing more to say. Adieu, sirs and Mesdames.
YORK VISION
FEATURES
Tuesday November 11, 2008
V
12 FEATURES
P14 - 15
AMERICA - BARACK FROM THE DEAD!
Mike Regan gets all hot under the collar over Obama.
Clever Cleggs Vision's Jake Soule reports how the wannabe PM fared in a grilling from York students, and considers his party's prospects for the future. Nick Clegg, the current leader of the Liberal Democrats, had the good grace to drop in on our beloved University to hold a public meeting hosted by the New Generation Society. Apparently, he has done over thirty such meetings over the past few months and not even his obvious fresher’s flu stopped him from clambering to the heights of Alcuin. The NGS hosted the event with aplomb and importantly, nearly every seat of the lecture theatre was filled. You can’t help but feel half-empty rooms must be a constant concern for the leader of the nation’s third biggest party. Clegg was a good thirty minutes late coming from his constituency in Sheffield, but he did not rush his answers. Clearly, he is a very intelligent man and he seemed eager to prove this by setting himself the selfflagellating task of always taking three questions at once and then replying to them all in one big answer. The first question of the night was a classically theoretical and over-elaborate studenty one about whether the Lib Dems were continuing in the tradition of the Whig Party of the nineteenth century. I think everyone thought they were in for a bone dry night at that point but inevitably the questions picked up. His policies on energy, taxes and military intervention all seemed to be sound liberal ones and he seemed assured of himself when replying to the inevitable questions of ‘why is our economy falling apart?’ He only really got one attacking probe when a student, who had clearly done his poll homework, declared to Clegg that he would never
I think it's frightening that a woman who believes the world was created in seven days could be so close to the presidency be prime minister. The audience giggled and a few people clapped, until a New Generation member, who looked as if she was about to pass out with embarrassment, asked them to stop. Clegg sensibly didn’t rise to the bait and merely pointed to his party’s impressive performance in the last general election. He also quite rashly declared that he would ‘double’ the number of Lib Dem MP’s over the next two elections. You have to admire his optimism. Fortunately, ‘Vision’ did not have to rely merely on the talk for its story. Afterwards, we were shown to a tiny room in Vanbrugh where we got up close and personal with Clegg. He arrived surprisingly quickly and immediately snatched up a proffered biscuit. Up close his boyish good looks are obviously very much the real deal and immediately prompt the question ‘why Ming Campbell?’ Here was a chance to see the con-
versational, the personable Nick Clegg and as much as a politician can ever be conversational and personable, he duly delivered. When asked about tuition fees and the recent cut in grants, Clegg declared himself ‘passionate’ about overturning the fees and increasing, rather than reducing grant money as the current government has now been forced to do. ‘Passionate’ was the word of the night as Clegg seemed eager to prove his credentials as an agent for change. He talked eagerly about the inherent injustice in fuel policy, comparing the current policy of households having to pay more for the first unit of energy than for subsequent ones, to Thatcher’s poll tax. He even discussed the immediately local concern about Yorkshire firemen’s pay. All in all, Clegg seems to be a far more honest and direct person than David Cameron, despite their similarities in appearance, tone and background. The problem remains though, that despite proclaiming policies that should play well with disillusioned Labour voters, the Lib Dems don’t seem to be making any headway. In fact, based on the polls, if the election were held now, they would end up with far fewer seats than they won in the 2005 election. That leaves Clegg with quite a task if he is to double his seats over the next six or seven years. Unsurprisingly, we talked about
So what is life for a child with Aspergers like? Well the answer is lonely. Christopher White reflects on growing up with Aspergers
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the US election at length and Clegg was all too happy to endorse Obama and, admirably, denounce the rabid evangelism of Sarah Palin: ‘I think it’s frightening frankly that a woman who believes the world was created in seven days, could be so close to the presidency.’ However, when asked to tell us what he thought about comparisons between his party and one Ralph Nader, in terms of their third party status, he seemed somewhat angered and dishevelled for the first time that evening. He called the comparison ‘ridiculous’, pointing once again to the portion
I want to double our seats in parliament over the next two elections
received 24 per cent, so no there is no comparison.’ He is right to feel aggrieved by the implication. How, though, does he feel about tactical voting, about people who might well agree with what he says but feel their vote is wasted because his party isn’t competitive? To this Clegg only replied that ‘we’re battling it out with the Conservatives in many areas of the South West, so we most certainly are competitive.’ True, but the South West is not a particularly electorally powerful region. The Lib Dems surely need to make a serious challenge to Labour strongholds if they are really going to stand a chance of increasing, rather than decreasing, their presence in Parliament. At this point, conveniently enough, our time together was called to an end. I was left struggling with myself over whether to give this man my vote because as a student, I really ought to. Clegg, meanwhile, was carted off by his aides to be interviewed by York Student Television and he was finally back in front of the cameras where he belongs.
of the vote that his party received in the previous election: ‘I mean come on; Ralph Nader only really ever gets about 2 to 3 per cent of the vote. In the last election we
Unfairly Branded? Kelly Holt looks at the furore surrounding Manuel-gate
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YORK VISION
Tuesday November 11, 2008
WHO GIVES A ROSS?
Kelly Holt asks what's all the fuss about?
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to former Fawlty Towers actor Andrew Sachs created an unprecedented media frenzy, which sparked over 37,000 complaints to the BBC and ended in the resignation of Brand from his Radio 2 show and a three month suspension for Jonathan Ross. University chancellor Greg Dyke, the former directorgeneral of the BBC, has recently written in The Times that the suspension of Ross demonstrated that ‘what goes around comes around’, though he feels in the long term that the BBC would probably not suffer any long term damage as a result of the scandal. Dyke is probably right; after all, the money the BBC is saving from suspending Ross (allegedly on a £6 million salary) will probably be enough to create a robotic Ross which can be programmed into an Ant and Dec style, family-friendly presenter. You know, like they did with Graham Norton. Okay, so the messages that Brand and Ross left on Sachs’ answer-machine insinuated, actually brazenly screamed out, that Brand was an –ahemintimate acquaintance of Georgina Baillie, Sachs’ granddaughter. Ross opened the first message with the witty line, Georgina Baille aka Voluptua ‘He fucked your granddaughfrom the Satanic Sluts, pictured centre with other members of the ter’. The other three messages couple of weeks ago Britain was shocked to its core when, live on Radio 2, comedians Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross sacrificed a couple of fluffy kittens, a puppy and a banoffee pie in the name of Satan. They also admitted that they couldn’t stand Bruce Forsythe and thought that John McCain should win the American Presidential Election on account of Sarah Palin being quite fit. Not really. But judging by the recent media furore surrounding the comedic pair, you would have thought so wouldn’t you? The prank calls made by Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand
are breathtaking if only in the sheer diversity of their content, ranging from songs about Georgina Baillie, to apologies, then veering back to Ross describing how Baillie was ‘bent over the couch’ by Brand. And we all know that calling up elderly gentlemen to talk about their grandchildren’s sexual adventures is not the most morally justifiable way to get a laugh. But on the other hand, Baillie is a member of what Brand describes as a ‘baroque dance group known as the Satanic Sluts’, and has proven herself to be remarkably willing to talk candidly with the press about her drug use and work as a nude model and porn star. In fact, Baillie has said that whilst her grandfather is devastated by the revelations, she sees this as an excellent opportunity to promote the Satanic Sluts and further her career. So maybe the Brand bashing and Ross ripping should stop now, and all the Daily Mail readers get down off of those towering stallions and start worrying about what really matters. Like finding out what the BBC did with the real Graham Norton.
Top 3 York 'Pranks' that Backfired: 1.Tom Scott the 'Pirate' For President Upon being elected as YUSU President Pre President, Mad Cap’n Scott admitted that his campaign had been a joke saying that it was ‘never about anything but comedy’. Now that Scott has pretty much abandoned his pirate persona, neglected to hand out the promised cutlasses, and failed to make people walk the plank, it is arguable that the joke is now on the students who voted him in. As a joke, obviously. 2. The 'Bring Back Slavery' Sign At the recent NUS Seminar here at York, Craig Cox of Nottingham SU is said to have ‘jokingly’ held up a sign reading ‘Bring Back Slavery.’ Unsurprisingly this wound some people up, and led to police involvement and an investigation into what was branded in the national press as a ‘racist National Union of Students Seminar’. Laughs can be had, of course, in that Cox’s name sounds vaguely rude, if you’re a fourteen year old. 3. When Wentworth declared itself independent from the UK Allegedly, way back in the misty primordial haze of time known as ‘The Nineties’ Wentworth College, as a RAG stunt decided to declare independence from the UK. Sometime later, legend has it, all Wentworth residents were sent government letters telling them to apply for passports. Nobody is sure whether Wentworth is or isn’t part of the UK, but considering the good food, relative warmth and lack of wildfowl, it probably isn’t part of York.
troupe
Scott Mcfayden braves the great outdoors in search of some cultural enrichment. But does he find it...?
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Art Attack in York
as anyone noticed the seemingly random display of famous artwork recreations littering the streets of York? Well, it seems the National Gallery are hijacking the City of York to display recreations of some of it’s permanent collection in a venture named the Grand Tour in York. The National Gallery and Hewlett Packard (HP) have colluded for this crude takeover, with co-operation from the York Art Gallery. There are a grand total of 49 of these recreation prints hiding in the City, placed in ‘unexpected and unusual’ places. The paintings chosen are all high quality and are excellent works of art by famous painters, yet there is something distasteful about the odd config-
uration of great works framed next to any old shop and down any random alleyway in York. Seeing works of art on the street is not the same experience as visiting a gallery. When you enter an art gallery you go there with a sense of expectation; the grand architecture of Gallery buildings usually set a tone and add to the visual experience. Having the images thrown through the streets appears disrespectful to the works in some way. It is as if art is being forced on the people. You will look at this painting, whether you can be bothered to go and visit it in a gallery or not. The outdoor exhibition consists of some excellent reproductions, which have been copied to the originals' exact proportions and are of paintings by great artists such as Van Gogh, Seurat and Rousseau. The prints are also to a very high quality definition and are displayed in replica frames. The tour placements are very random and the prints lack the realness of seeing an original painting. You are not viewing the actual canvas and texture of paint the artist slaved over and applied, you are seeing a recreation. For me at least this is the dealbreaker no-matter how good the reproduction print is, seeing an
original piece of artwork is a far more enriching experience. The concept of a Grand Tour was originally implemented in London in 2007 and was relatively successful. York has since been chosen to have a Grand Tour in 2008. It seems odd to me to place replications of paintings in a City which already has a respected art collection. There are many towns and Cities around the UK which could do with some cultural stimulation and would benefit far more than York or London from a Grand Tour of replica paintings. I don’t object to the National Gallery or to their works at all. I even admire the concept of spreading art to people who may not have access to it. The Grand Tour in York is also very well orchestrated; a lot of time and effort has clearly been spent on replicating these artworks and implementing the works around the City. It does, however, seem fairly patronising for a big London institution, such as the National Gallery, to impose it’s work on the City of York as if it is to somehow educate and culture it's inhabitants. One reason for the Grand Tour in York is to actually inspire visitors to go and visit the original works in London. The concept of advertising the National
Galleries artwork by parading replicas around a completely different City is an odd one. The
Grand Tour in York consists of 45 reproduction pictures from the National Gallery and just four from the York Art Gallery. I do admire the originality of the advertising concept, however, it seems an imposition for the National Gallery to invade every corner of York, a very fine historical city, with reproductions of another city's works of art.
The idea that the intention of holding the outdoor exhibition is so local people can appreciate the works is supported by the individual information plaques provided next to each painting. I must admit it is uplifting to randomly see a great piece of artwork as you are strolling through the streets. But if York has it’s own history and sights of interest, why does it need a London gallery to flaunt its works around its streets? If anything these works are going to take the focus further away from York’s history and architecture. It seems ludicrous to come to York especially to see the outside exhibition of reproduction prints when you can see the original works in London, as it is only a train ride away and admission is free. Or alternatively, people could visit the York Art Gallery, which is free to all and actually support a local institution and see original works there.
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YORK VISION
Tuesday November 11, 2008
YORK VISION
FEATURES
Tuesday November 11, 2008
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AMERICA GOES OBARMY!! Mike Regan takes a typically cynical look at everyone's favourite pony race, whilst getting a little too enammered with the Presdident elect.
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anticipation and genuine those wanting to attend were instructed to dress ts Wednesday 5th November, a excitement about the evening as an American state. God forbid people can’t day that during my childhood ahead. It was a level of interest just be interested in the outcome of the election. followed exactly the same patin politics that seemed alien This is one example of how for me this election tern year on year. I would unwillto me, considering only 37% and the interest in it is not just a clear indication ingly don my hat and gloves, then borof 18-24 year olds voted in the of a sudden surge in the development of a row a pound for a sausage that tasted 2005 general election. At times political consciousness. like an athlete’s foot sufferer’s toes it seemed as though interWhat part of York’s interest seems and finally wait eagerly for the fireto boil down to is the one thing that est amongst British students works. As the first one flying through any self respecting student is good was getting a little irrational, the air in a retrospectively less than at…. Drinking. But of course we are an uncountable number of spectacular fashion to be greeted by far too classy just to binge ourselves ‘friends’ donated their facethe automated ‘ooooooohhhhs’ of The night did not stupid, how frightfully common, book status’ to remind their disillusioned parents, the inevitable progress well for Mcthere are rules and procedures to ‘friends’ to vote for Barrack struck, my brother would start crying Cain Supporters go through. So the US Obama. Yes, with the ferocity of an abused orphan Presidential election is just anone slight chopping onions. My parents seizother chance for your officiously problem most, not all of their ing their opportunity with gusto sweep us away minded friend to print off some from the sodden field and we are swept away Ken ‘friends’ are not able to vote in rules and get increasingly irate the US Presidential election. But Bigley style in the back of a car. So as you can when people break them. Most despite the minor annoyance it gather, I had never had a good 5th November, brilliantly there is an ‘official’ caused me, it is indicative of the until last week, Amidst the waves of Obamaone, presumably to avoid another sudden surge in political interest for that day is mania, I think the real hero of ‘Pay Day’ scandal, God that awful prompted by the messianic senaone of the most this election has been harshly monopoly spin off. tor. For once it was the politimomentous of forgotten. The BBC’s Jeremy It seems that in many ways this our lifetime; cally disinclined who were in the Vine, taking over the controls election has played into the hands Barack Obama minority, York university’s tired of Peter Snow’s US election The thought of Sarah Palin of the typical student lifestyle. I has embodied campus was littered with more technology for the first time, becoming President if McCain have already mentioned the way the American than just ugly ducklings ( I don’t put in a first rate performance. passed away during his term is in which facebook was used to endream, a man mean the Rugby team), it was He was the real candidate for easily the most hilariously horgage young voters, and you tube who from humalso awash with reams of elecchange in this election. rifying possibility to come up played a similar role. Barrack ble beginnings tion night parties. To me this was Obama’s acceptance speech has has become the against humanity, ever. Aside a curious phenomenon; as York Will Wainewright, from that, the elections were received a phenomenal 952,681 most poweris hardly the most politically Second year history and essentially an evaluation of what views, added to it are comments ful man on the engaged of universities. After politics America thinks of itself now and such as ‘He sure is good looking’ planet. But why all we did elect a Pirate as presiwhat it aspires for the future, and ‘Subscribe now. Dickhead lol’; do we care so dent. So despite recent ‘ issues’ and that has been fascinating to move aside Paxman. However the much? with asbestos and fire alarms note. point is that this election has permeated the secI could not that spring into life with the irrationality of a tions of society that previous ones simply have help but notice tourette’s sufferer, it was Derwent college that Jerome Joel Josy, not come close to reaching. But how much of this throughout was chosen to hold the nights university wide Second year management can be attributed to Barrack Obama? He sounds polling day, election party. It wouldn’t be a university event good, He looks good, I bet he even smells good…. the intense without some over used fancy dress theme, thus
of a freshly baked fruit cake probably. And this is where our search for our sudden politicisation can come to a rather abrupt conclusion, not his smell specifically, but rather the fact he breaks the mould. He wasn’t groomed for the presidency from the age of six, he doesn’t have a face like boiled meet, and he doesn’t make you want to extract him from the television screen then shove his running mate’s disgusting redneck head up his arse. I study Politics, but I have never voted, I read pretentious newspapers, but I am not a paying member of a political party. Clearly I don’t do an OJ Simpson at the mere mention of the word politics, yet I feel profoundly disengaged from the democratic process. Not only has Obama empowered millions of dis-enfranchised Americans, he has galvanised students, ‘ hockey moms’ ( wipe the sick up later, keep reading) and the disaffected across the pond. So forget about looking for long term social trends or any of that bollocks to try and explain our sudden political engagement. Its down to one thing and that’s Barrack. And if we can get drunk while being giving a sensual verbal massage, well then who am I to complain.
What becomes obvious is that Obama’s win was the latest realisation of the American dream-a dream everyone aspires to irrespective of race, creed, gender or status. From this perspective, Obama represents an ‘everyman’ and proves that success is not limited to those born as members of a country club. Obama represented change and change was seen as an agent of hope; his election heralds a postracial America. John Apea, YUSU Racial Equality officer
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YORK VISION
Tuesday November 11, 2008
A NEW PERSPECTIVE Christopher White on living with Asperger's at university
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sperger's syndrome is a relatively new addition to the spectrum of autism disorders. A standard method of diagnosis appeared only in the mid-90s. Since it is mainly spotted between the ages of 4 and 11, the first generation to be diagnosed with the condition is only just starting its university career. I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 10. Asperger's syndrome is an Autistic Spectrum Disorder. It’s not the same as full-blown autism, but it’s closely linked to it. Children with Asperger's have poor social skills and often experience ‘stereotypes’ (for example hand flapping, body rocking or running on the spot). The most important feature of Asperger's is that sufferers find it difficult to understand nonverbal communication like facial expressions. The failure to pick up on the signs that someone is bored, aggressive or even flirting mean that Asperger's sufferers struggle to empathise with other people. So what is it like being a child with aspergers syndrome? Well the answer is lonely. By the age of three, children already need basic social skills to engage with their peers. I don’t have many memories from when I was three but most of them are of playing alone. Most people with Asperger's do not reject social interaction as frequently as people with autism but without the necessary social skills, forming friendships is difficult, if not impossible. I had a tendency, like most people with Asperger's, to jump into longwinded speeches about a topic of my interest. At the age of eight I could give lengthy explanations of tornadoes and hurricanes (one of several aspergers type obsessions that I had) to my classmates. As you might expect eight year olds don’t like listening to long speeches. However, I would fail to spot the common signs of boredom that would prompt a different person to move onto another subject. Without Albert Einstein the ability to empathise with others I was never under the illusion at primary school that I was liked or wanted. The ‘stereotypes’ are the stranger side of the condition. My stereotypy was a short burst of hand flapping that’s waving my arms up and down very quickly. It was normally associated with emotions like excitement. However, they aren’t the tics that are linked with conditions like Tourettes. They were more like a habit than an uncontrollable spasm. Diagnosis wasn’t an easy process. My teachers were already well trained to look out for signs of learning disabilities like Dyslexia and even ADHD. They would certainly have been aware that I didn’t have any friends but as far as they were concerned they were doing the job they were paid to do perfectly well. Like many children with Aspergers I was getting good grades. I was lucky because one of my teachers was researching a differ-
ent condition called Dyspraxia and had spotted (inaccurately) signs of the conditions in me. An appointment was made with a psychiatrist where within the space of an hour I was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome. Still, it is important to remember that many children were not so fortunate. I can say with a high degree of confidence that there will be more than one student reading this article with an undiagnosed autistic spectrum disorder like Asperger's. There’s no cure for Aspergers. It is permanent. I was never prescribed any drugs but I was treated with some behavioural therapies. They were one-to-one discussions with a psychiatrist folGeorge Orwell lowed by a series of group therapies with other recently diagnosed children of my age. It would be nice to think that these sessions had a lasting effect on me but if I’m honest, I doubt that they ever did. However, there is a school of thought that trying to treat conditions like Aspergers is a fallacy in itself. The last few years have seen the genesis of the autistic pride movement. Autistic pride models itself on gay pride and operates on the philosophy “that those identified as autistic are not suffering from a pathological disease any more than those with dark skin are suffering from a form of skin disease”. The movement teaches that autistic tendencies should be nurtured and people with autism should instead be given the skills to live in the ‘neurotypical world’. The concept of autistic pride isn’t quite as absurd as it might sound at first. Albert Einstein, George Orwell, Isaac Newton, Lewis Carroll, Thomas Jefferson and Ludwig Wittgenstein are all amongst famous historical figures that scientists have suggested had some form of autism. There is a growing scientific theory that conditions like Asperger's and ADHD are not an accident of genetic variation but have evolved through natural selection. This is still a controversial idea. Many fear that the networks being built around autistic pride will shield autism sufferers from the experiences and treatments that could help them to overcome the difficulties that the condition poses. I can’t say that I would attend an autism pride march, but I have recently grown to accept my Asperger's. Before I came to York I could count on my fingers how many people knew about my condition. By the end of my first year most of my friends knew about it. It’s a situation I couldn’t have imagined 13 months ago. Telling people about my aspergers was a daunting task. There are a lot of comparisons that could be made with coming out as being gay. Asperger's is not a condition that presents itself as a physical disabil-
ity. Only two people have been able to tell my seminars). I hold conversations with me that I have Asperger's from meeting people just like any other person would. I me and they were the psychiatrists that even tell the odd anecdote and I relish opdiagnosed me. There is a lot of ignorance portunities for unscripted public speakabout aspergers and I could never be ing in front of large numbers of people. sure how people would react when I told Coming to York has been a turning them. I often worried that telling peo- point in my life. I now have a group of good ple would devalue their opinions of me. friends like I have never had before in my However, the reaction of people I have life. I have started a student society, run told has been wholly posi- around the university as a pirate on far tive and my confidence has too many occasions and even done the odd only grown because of it. bit of public speaking to fairly large audiMy experiences of liv- ences. It’s all been very extroverted coming with aspergers are not pared to my life just a couple of years ago. that typical. That’s because Still I cannot deny that there’s a lot there isn’t really a ‘typical’ that I missed in my teenage years. I can experience. Asperger's is count on one hand the number of times part of the spectrum of dis- that I was invited round to other kids houses before I got to orders related sixth form. I was never to autism, and introduced to music or that’s a very playing computer games good way to in the same way that understand the most people are by their diversity of the friends. Up until my first condition. Eveweek of university I had ry person with never been drunk, I had Asperger's will certainly never been to have a differa house party or a club. ent mix from Having never had a stable any other person with the friendship with anyone, condition. There is a huge it won’t surprise you that variety in the severity of I’ve never been in a relathe condition and Asperger's expresses itself differtionship with anyone. It is fair to say that I’ve had ently at separate stages in some catching up to do. each sufferer’s life. A recent Lewis Carroll When I came to study estimates that one in university I anticipated five children with aspergers spending extended periwill essentially ‘grow out of it’ before they reach adulthood. The con- ods of time on my own waiting for my dition doesn’t disappear as such but social next lecture to come along. I wouldn’t skills can improve to allow someone with have been unhappy if that was what had aspergers to lead a relatively normal life. happened. But I have integrated into camI have come to the conclusion over the pus life more so than I possibly could have last year that I am probably amongst the imagined. I have of course been helped one in five people that ‘grows out of it’. I along the way by some people with whom accept that I will always suffer from some I have shared some brilliant experiences. features of the condition like the stereo- To those of you that I shared those extypies. However, I have gradually learned periences with, and you know who you consciously the skills that non-sufferers are, I would like to say a big thank you. have the innate ability to learn. I no longer give long, boring speeches (except in
YORK VISION
LIFESTYLE Tuesday November 11, 2008
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WHY WE LOVE YORK!
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>STYLE
>FOOD
LUXURY LUNCHES
ON THE LASH IN LEEDS
Emily Hodges and Mark Jaques check out how York students rate the important things in life - the drinking, dancing and partying
We’re four weeks into term, meaning the freshers have just emerged from their drunken stupors and are starting to see York in all its duck-crap-splattered glory. Meanwhile, second and third years have also had a chance to get reacquainted with the delights that both the city and the university have to offer. With this in mind, Vision has decided to head off around campus, and managed to corner some students into giving us their thoughts on York's social scene.
The clubbing scene on weeknights has become student central, but where do most of us prefer to end up singing and dancing? We all have our favourites, but overall it was the Gallery that just pipped loveably-filthy Ziggy's to the post in the race for your approval. We feel we should give a special mention to Tru though, which has captured the hearts of freshers and came out on top in our poll of first-years. Despite it's makeover (and York Sport's best efforts), it looks like Club Salvation has failed to convert York's nocturnal crowds.
Gallery 36%
Tru 22%
Bar Wars With the fierce rivalry between the colleges, the choice of best college bar was always going to be controversial. Vanbrugh was voted the eventual winner, probably because of its central location on campus, but not for the appalling decor, all canteen-style chairs and tables. Goodricke, with its wholesome "real-pub" atmosphere, was also popular, despite being no larger than your average garden shed. Derwent unsuprisingly also came close, its big screen and sheer size making it a particular favourite for televised sporting events. Wentworth's Edge, meanwhile, has fine decor and arguably makes the best food on campus. Sadly, it might suffer from the lethal combination of lazy students and a poor location on campus: it might as well be in Newcastle. And, suffice to say, on looks alone, Alcuin's B. Henry's deserves to stay on campus.
Guilty Pleasures
Night(club) Fever
None 10%
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NIGHT-VISION
FASHION WITH FAGIN
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>DRINK
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Ziggy's 32%
There was really only one takeaway that was going to be named the most popular post-night out food stop: it had to be the legendary Efes. Greasier and packing more fat than a sumo wrestler in a Swedish sauna, it has become the perfect anecdote to a hard night's drinking and dancing, acting as the ideal base camp for those making the stumbly and arduous trek back to their homes.
As for bars, Evil Eye is a long way out in front, its unknockable cool, superb and diverse range of cocktails and funky furniture rendering the high drink prices unimportant. For those after cocktails at a more reasonable price, Dusk and its 2-for-1 deals have long been staples of a York student's evening. Just down the road, Vodka Revolution, with umpteen vodka flavours and its famed six-shot sticks, has also gathered a following. For the ultimate in guilty, drunken pleasures though, look no further than Micklegate and treble-forsingle bars Nag's Head and Rumours. Thanks to these identikit bars, losing your sobriety and dignity has never been so cheap... Photography - Juliet Burns
LIFESTYLE
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VISION'S VIXENS and their
YORK VISION
Tuesday November 11, 2008
STUDENT STUNNERS Carl Bradshaw
YEAR: 1st STATUS: Single SUBJECT: English Language & Linguistics
GET THE LOOK:
Laura Carney
YEAR: 3rd STATUS: In a relationship SUBJECT: Biology
GET THE LOOK:
Hat: Topman
Hat: H&M
Cardigan: Topman... oh no wait, say somewhere cool!
Coat: River Island
Jeans: Levis T-Shirt: From a Death Cab for Cutie gig.
Boots: New Look What do you think of Fusion's 'Punk' theme?
What do you think of Fusion's Punk Theme?
I think it's quite different from what they usually do, it's quite cool.
I didn't like it.
What are your opinions on the credit crunch?
What are your opinions on the credit crunch? I'm happy that the Ben and Jerrys prices are down.
LIESTYLE
Joanne Rea takes a look at our everyday lies. Here at York Vision Lifestyle we’re all about good food, travels and buying yourself some swanky new clothes. We all know university life gets so hectic sometimes, we forget about spending time on our own, whether it be shopping or cooking a meal from scratch. It's Week 1, all the freshers events are going on, but personally I’m looking forward to Sunday night Gallery. Sunday morning, I felt like I was in desperate need of some “me time” if I was going to be in anyway near ready for the evening. I thought, why not, let’s have a proper Sex and The City style pampering day. I was on it - out the door and off into York to do some shopping, get my nails done, and get my forever growing fringe trimmed. After my sparkling new nails and a spot of shopping I trotted off to my regular hairdressers. Its a lovely place; they sit you down, take your coat and offer you a drink. I sat down with a copy of Glamour magazine whilst waiting, in no time at all I was in the chair ready to be trimmed. We had a little chat about what I wanted done, then she got her scissors out and started to snip away. She’s cutting it pretty short, I thought to myself, but no its fine, this is her job and she knows what shes doing. Five minutes later. Oh. My. God. What has she done to my fringe?! A side fringe it certainly wasn’t. “How is that for you?” She asked, holding another mirror at the side, while I looked at the one in front of me in sheer horror. “Yes... um... it’s really nice!” I lied quite literally to her face. Why didn’t I just tell her, you’ve ruined my hair! Fix it! No no, there was no way I wanted her to think I didn’t like it, I would have rather lied that put myself in that awkward position. I was determined that I could fix this. I got home and pinned in back in hope it would at some point stay to the side. This never happened. It was time to go out and reveal my full on, unstraight, hideous fringe to my housemates. I called them in; “guys, I don’t know what she's done but I hate it!” I was greeted with “oh no but you suit it” and “you look different,” when my housemate got it right and told me the truth I’d been wanting to hear: “Um, well you look fine, but its a really bad fringe cut, it’s not even straight!” There it was: the truth. I knew it but it hurt. It's a lot easier to lie in these situations, as I find out later. Gallery brought a whole host of “keep the fringe” and “ooh I like your new hair” comments. If you think about it, a lie, or a fake compliment is like a natural reflex to keep out the bad thoughts. When someone says they never lie, that's a lie in itself. We all do it, everyday in fact. We do it to avoid the truth, and avoid upsetting people. I think its a good thing - how can looking out for someones feelings be a bad thing? I’m quite over my traumatic fringe experience and now I really know which friends I can rely on for a real opinion and the ones who just want to see me happy.
I don't think it really affects students.
LIFESTYLE
YORK VISION
Tuesday November 11th, 2008
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STYLE
CREDIT CRUNCH SPECIAL!
MAKING AMENDS
Eman Akbar urges us to throw our ingrained consumerist values to the wind, quit the high street and make do and mend.
I
n this current economic climate, as we come to terms with the bitter sweet existence of the big double ‘C’, the bank balance disappears quicker than job losses at Lehmen Brothers. Crashion (economic crash fashion) has suddenly received official recognition from the Oxford dictionary. Heirloom hunting (permanently borrowing your grannies keepsafes) switches to a mainstream sport. CREAM-ing (Cancel the Reservation Everyone At Mine) becomes the hippest way to spend an evening with the girlfriends. And mending becomes the new spending: enter the humble sewing machine. After we frantically search for the sewing kit mother had sneakily packed as a ‘must have’ for university, we can begin making amends to tatty tears. After all, the rich swap haute couture for charity shop finds to stay in CROGUE (in
Mini sewing machine, John Lewis, £49
vogue during an economic crisis), so why not jump on the bandwagon? Right now York’s inhospitable climate matches that of the country's economy, with unpredictable rainfalls and falling temperatures. Fashion has never seemed so unattainable. Pundits on the London Fashion exchange trading floor are backing ‘sewing’, otherwise called ‘make do and mend’, as the next big thing. There is a hole in your jeans; sew a badge on it. The zipper’s broken; get a new one for under a fiver. The hems are falling apart; rip the rest of the stitching. Garments damaged? Twist it around and make it your own. John Galliano was not born rich or fashionable; he made his best collection with basic cheap black lining material because it was all he could afford. The elite have embraced Knitting needles, www. knitandsew. co.uk, £1.85
frugality and thrift. Vivienne Westwood has encouraged a bit of DIY, with her Parisian show decked out in necklaces made out of safety pins and shawls from blankets, tablecloths, curtains or towels. Who said haute couture had to be expensive? Goodbye TopShop, hello Mr. Haberdasher. Crafting has never been more fashionable, and with 'Stitch 'n' Bitch' and 'Sit and Knit' groups springing up across the country, clearly the mood within fashion is changing with the economy. Twee as Belle and Sebastian on a shopping spree in Cath Kidston, making scarves, tea cosies and customising old dresses doesn't have to be for the aged. The image of the impoverished student has always been a trendy fantasy, now it looks like it's coming true. We've
Sewing box, Cath Kidston, £40. Twee, much?!
Alpacca wool, www.coolwoolz. com, £4.95
Travel sewing kit, John Lewis, £4
Will Booth on taking a leaf out of Dickens' style book, and dressing like Fagin for the Credit Crunch... As Fagin demonstrates, one coat, cut in a truly classic, timeless style can be worn throughout the season with a variety of scarves, wraps and hats without looking tired. Shopping around for a spectacular throw in York Market is an enormously therapeutic experience and can be amazingly rewarding. However, do not forget that although a black coat may bear any colour, mauve will leave you looking like a corpse. To warm a winter complexion, opt for jewel colours – you will instantly know when you look radiant, and above all avoid lime green. Finger-less gloves do rather seem to be a Fagin staple. A finger-less glove wants to be in the finest knit wool you can find as a thick, cosy knit will only result in hands looking like spades and again, jewel tones add a dash of colour so vital at this time of year. Boots and belts, both fundamentals within the wardrobe and, though not terribly Fagin, can work together to create the shabby chic romantic look he so effortlessly assumes. A decent pair of boots are integral to the winter season and with slim fitting trousers tucked is a good look. Knee length, and with a slight heel will elongate your legs and look so fab that you will be forgiven for wearing them everyday. Belts add definition – get your waists winched in with some wonderful waister belts in bright colours. You will look and feel slimmer immediately. Don’t forget also that clothes can be altered. Hemlines go up, necklines come down – shop
The Thrift Book by India Knight, £6.74 from amazon.co.uk
Knitted SweaterVest, Ebay.co.uk
Savin' with Fagin
In this current economic climate, Fagin is one of the only unsung fashion heroes to have been actively described by Charles Dickens as ‘disgusting’. However, ‘tis a well known fact that the stinking pen and the fragrant rose are two aspects of the same existence and so, it is with courage (and a certain amount of foolishness) that I shall discuss his evident and economic sartorial flair. It has never been more important to be fabulous on a shoestring than in these uncertain financial times and it is with regret that I put down Prada and pick up Primark, but hope is on the horizon my dears! In Fagin, we have a literary embodiment of how thrift can transform the way we see our clothes and we mustn’t forget that there is nothing a decent seamstress cannot do with a needle and thread. I am certainly not advocating we all up and off to London to train orphans to be pickpockets and petty thieves (it does sound wildly romantic though) but rather, in Fagin’s own words to ‘review the situation’. In these credit-crunch times we need to tighten our belts, metaphorically speaking only thank goodness, and invest in staple pieces that will never go out of style. Block colours work well for an attitude along these lines, which leaves an opportunity for inexpensive accessories to shine.
been demanding consumerist nightmares for far too long. It's time for a big dollop of the proverbial humble pie. We have no choice but to ride the tide, and in true British fashion we will celebrate this crisis down the pub and reminisce about the hardy fashion of yesteryear. Military is present in our wardrobe this Autumn/Winter as much as it was back in the 1930’s. Empty that handbag and get rid of that TopShop credit card. Instead, replace it with a needle, thread and some pins. That bohemian mission dress bought seasons ago from TK Maxx needs some TLC - perfect for the CREAM-ing session with the girlfriends tonight - but more importantly, so bang on trend!
with an open mind and you will amaze yourself with what you find. Remember darlings, buy key pieces, hunt around for inexpensive accessories to renew an outfit and if I see anyone, God help them, in lime green I shall be severely displeased. Until next time then, Stay fabulous!
Steal His Style This ring looks like it could have been stolen, Accessorize, £10
This Racoon Fur Coat will keep you warm without knocking up heating bills. Ebay
Victorian-esque boots like these are a must, these are from Topshop, £75
Fingerless gloves, Brora, £32. If this is too pricey, just cut the fingers off your old wool gloves to achieve the frayed look. You ragamuffin!
20 LIFESTYLE
YORK VISION Tuesday November 12, 2008
STYLE
CREDIT CRUNCH SPECIAL!
HOT SEQUINNED PLAYSUITS: Totes hot
WEARING SUMMER DRESSES IN WINTER: Bulk up with some thermals. Budget-tastic!
SALVATION WEDNESDAYS: 'Inconsistent attendance' apparently. VANBRUGH ROASTS: Eternally warm
ECONOMY FRIENDLY!
Dress, Primark, £10
Immy Willetts champions shabby chic... Quilted bag, eBay, £10
Jumper dress, eBay, £12.99
In this current economic climate, instead of opting for Girls Aloud-esque makeup, the only thing you need wear Blue suede on your face is a look of self-satisfacshoes, Toption (channel Howard from the Halifax Shop, £18 ads). Middle-class students are famed for their sluggish dress sense, and monetary guilt. Daddy might have sold his soul to the city, but in these uncertain economic times, you can flounce around in badly hemmed dresses, tatty shoes and a satisfying sense of romantic impoverishment. Retain an essence of ‘Noah and the Whale’ wholesomeness to avoid looking totally trampish; your style icon should fall somewhere between Oliver Twist and Kate Nash (who by the way would make a great Nancy…). Finally, privileged York Cardigan, Comme des Garcons fro H&M, £19.99 students have a chance to look dirty and unkempt. The key features in this look are dodgy 80s knits, tights with holes in, steer clear of any make-up, and begin every conversation by muttering something about the FTSE 100, then as Grazia has coined, you’ll be a true recessionista!
Pumps, Dorothy Perkins, £18
GLOBALLY WARMING
Sian Rowe on how to insulate your regular clothes on a credit crunchIn this current economic climate we’re all feeling the pinch. The pinch of cold on our poor frozen toes that is!
the bedroom have got a little frosty you can bring back the warmth for only £4.50 each.
So, while investment piece used to mean Burberry Trench, nowadays we’re snuggling up to thermal underwear, thermaleggings and thick woolly socks. Not so sexy you may cry, but what’s so sexy about undulating rolls of wool hurtling towards you on a cold winters day? Yet, as with scarves, one shouldn’t pile on the (under)layers with reckless abandon; it is possible to both look and feel hot while munching on your economical packed lunches of regurgitated pieces of cardboard.
American Apparel has also brought out a line of thermal pants and leggings. Their Paedo-chic models know there is no need to feel chilly while flouncing around our harsh economic landscape. Vision recommends them in Purple (surely the colour for every season) or the mysterious Melange Navy for the real recessionista from www.americanapparel.net.
If you’re willing to squash yourself into control pants there should be no qualms with their chaste sisters thermal undies. Marks and Spencers have a good range of cosy woollens that offer up the same slimming benefits of the far more expensive celebrity brands while www. britishthermals.com even do ‘couples’ packs. That’s right lovers; if things in
Finally, for the smallest of budgets a whopping great pair of socks can be recycled into doing a far better job. Thigh highs were last years ‘bang on trend’ item, so if you’re fed up of looking like a schoolgirl who’s replaced her legs with two misshapen grey sausages, put them under jeans. They can work over tights and under boots for added pound-saving warmth. Toes warmed, pounds saved, wool rash imminent, let’s hear it for layering. Thermal leggings, American Apparel, £18
Thermal tights, M&S, £6
Thermal vest, M&S, £8
Knee socks, TopShop, £6 Men's thermal tee, British Thermals, £4.50
DRESSING LIKE AGYNESS DEYN: You'll never look like her
NOT TOPSHOP Expensive, boring, unoriginal. Philip Green: up your game
RICHIE RICH!
Lyle belted poncho, Mike and Chris, £230
Helen Nianias on rich-bitch fashion... In this current economic climate, we are all feeling the pinch. Magazines keep insisting the economic downturn means we should be buying ‘investment’ pieces rather than spending exactly the same amount at TopShop on badly fitting nylon dresses and slut-heels you will never wear. Amidst the plummeting share values and mass unemployment, swanning out of Prada having made a purchase will make you feel a million dollars even if you will never see that sort of money in your life. The only problem that rears its ugly head is that the friends who were once so impressed by your Bottega Veneta will realise that that is the sum total of your wardrobe. The bizarre fashion faux-pas of repeating an outfit still exists, so be prepared for sniggering chums asking if you have any other clothes. To which your answer may well be ‘no’. Blowing your limited funds on one spectacular dress has its upsides, but think carefully about how much you’ll enjoy explaining it to your landlord when you’re wearing your next month’s rent.
Italian lace dress, Burberry Prorsrum, £1,195
Borderline satin clutch, Fendi, £555 Cropped balloon sleeve jacket, Emilio Pucci, £900
Boots, Christian Louboutin, £650
FASHION REVIEW
Jude Hull on the unfortunate marriage of York and fashion shows ... In this current economic climate, we are under no illusion that York is in any way fast becoming the fashion capital of Europe, or even the north of England for that matter. With only a handful of designer stores the concept of York Fashion week would not last much longer than an afternoon. However only two weeks ago Bang Hair, in association with Sarah Coggles, made a step in the right direction with the launch of their new Bang Blow Dry collection at the Duchess night-club. The evening appeared to have the makings of a great night; ‘hip’ location, live music, champagne and canapés on arrival but most importantly the promise of the latest trends in hair and clothes. Yet it was somewhere amidst the being ID'd, paper wrist bands and excessively loud music that the evening felt more like anticipating a gig than a fashion show. Or perhaps it was the fatal lack of seating plan that meant that standing further than a foot away from the stage meant spending the evening checking out the hair of the person in front of you, rather than the models. It
is not a matter of laziness in wanting to sit down that the evening was disappointing, rather the sheer inability to appreciate the effort that was put into it. When it was in fact possible to catch a glimpse of the models, the clothes outshone the hair designs which were what the evening was intended to be based around. The supposed ‘latest collection’ for Bang Hair was nothing more than celebrity imitation blow drys which screamed conformity amongst the idiosyncratic looks created by the Sarah Coggles team. But maybe this is too critical a judgement to pass, and while a Amy Winehouse ‘beehive’ is not my cup of tea, at least there were free gift bags. So as for York’s fashion scene? It may need to learn to walk before it can run. That said evening was most definitely a step in the right direction for York, and who knows next time the seats may make all the difference. A fashion show may not be conducive to saving pennies this winter as it will only make you want to spend more money...but at least it provides free heating.
Grand designs: Sarah Coggles didn't quite live up to the image of a proper fashion show (left)
YORK VISION
Tuesday November 11, 2008
the
Hot list
LIFESTYLE
FOOD&DRINK Packing in Campus Lunch
Sally Daniels and Anna Kotenko look at the cost of campus food and suggest some cheaper, healthier alternatives...
T
here is someting mysterious about the arrival of the student loan in the bank account that seems to inspire a madness in students. The first few weeks are spent in a frenzy of M&S food shops and excessive alcohol consumption. By Week Five, with 75% of said loan gone and nothing to show for it but a couple of percy pigs and a hangover, the panic begins to set in. In times like these the student must be resourceful and adopt a frubecause secretly we all wish we gal style of living that the parents woud be proud of. However, if sacrificing your night out at Fibbers or Salvation is too much to ask, another were still in primary school place to start scrimping back is lunchtime. Eating lunch on campus is not cheap and by the end of the week, can quite easily tot up to about 20 quid. Here at Vision we hope to provide you with a couple of tips and simple recipes to help you save those pennies in time for Christmas.
The lunchbox
Parma Ham and Mozzarella Sandwich
Campbell's can-tainer &%crayola thermos flask From: Urban Outfitters Price: £8.00 A thermos flask blast from the past!
Cute Owl Lunchbag From: Accessorize Price: £6.00
From: Ebay Price: £7.99 Brighten up your lunch with this cult cartoon classic.
banana guard
From: www.bananaguards. co.uk Comes in a variety of colours, and claims to accomodate nearly all shapes and sizes! Price: £8.00 Prepare to illicit some disgusted looks when you remove this from your bag in Vanburgh Dining Hall.
This Autumn Term if you discover one new thing; let it be the thermos. Whether full of hot coffee, or soup, a thermos can save you from buying lunch and put an end to the necessary expenditure on hot drinks. If you just want to save money, and are ignorant of nutritional content, just whack a can of heated Heinz soup in your flask. For those of you who own a blender and fancy being a bit more creative there is the option to make your own soup. Another way to save money instantly is to bring your own sandwich to campus. Even a homemade ham sandwich has to be better than the neon coloured coronation chicken baguette, or the mysteriously named cheese savoury, which costs £2.20 and can be made at home for a little less than 50p.
1.Fold the wrap in half and then again so it forms a pocket. 2. Fill with spinach leaves, strips of avocado and slices of cucumber. If you fancy something If you fancy something more luxurious for more meaty add some cooked diced chicken lunch, here is a simple sandwich recipe. breast. 3. Wrap in kitchen foil and enjoy later in the Ingredients - Makes 1 sandwich day. - 2 slices of granary bread or 1 roll (buttered) - Sliced mozzarella Pumpkin soup - Handful of rocket leaves - Parma ham (substitute ham as a cheaper alterThis is delicious and cost effective and native) the pumpkin can easiy be replaced by 1.Butter the bread, place the parma ham on one butternut squash and/or sweet potato. slice and and mozzarella on the other. 2.Stack the rocket on the ham and season before Ingredients - Makes 6 servings completing the sandwich with the mozzarella slice. - 1kg pumpkin 3.Wrap securely in kitchen foil, as there is noth- - 1 onion (finely chopped) ing worse than a squashed sarnie. - 1 ltr chicken/veg stock - 1 tbsp curry powder - Half tsp ginger powder Avocado Wrap - Two cloves of garlic (minced) Wraps are great for eating on the go and by - Salt and pepper to taste folding them in this easy way, the messy time1. Saute onions and garlic until they are soft consuming wrapping part is eradicated. but not coloured 2. Add the pumpkin, ginger and curry powder Ingredients - Makes 1 wrap 3. Heat for 5 mins until pumpkin has softened 4.Add the stock gradually - 1 tortilla wrap 5.Cook until the pumpkin is soft and pliable. - Handful of spinach 6. Allow to cool slightly and puree - 1/2 an avocado (peeled and sliced) 7. Serve with creme fresh and fresh chives if you - Cucumber have them - Chicken (optional)
Loch Fyne Review tin wonder woman lunchbox
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We all know that feeling when beans on toast is not enough and you feel like treating yourself to some really good quality food. Loch Fyne is a seafood restaurant on Warmgate - one of the restaurants you always walk past and assume you can’t afford. But you can eat off the lunch menu for only £12 for two courses, or £15 for three, including a glass of wine. Who could complain with that? The portions are a good size and two courses would easily fill you up. Loch Fyne is a clean cut, unfussy place that is welcoming and friendly. The food was great; it was simple, homely and really well cooked. It’s fully believable that the food is fresh and it is not compromised by the cheap price. On top of that the staff couldn’t do enough to help you. The menu is not extensive, but varied enough. It even caters for those of you who don’t like fish! If nothing else, go for the desserts. You will never have an apple crumble like it. While there are only two options on the set menu they were easily the best part. The lunch menu is from one to seven so even works for an early dinner. Remember though, while it’s cheap, it’s not fast. You are not going to be rushed in and out so make sure you plan time. Kirsty Shepherd and Stephanie Smith
Roasted Red Pepper Soup This is a lovely winter warmer, with the roasted peppers giving it a real kick. As if this recipe couldn't get any better, its ludicriously thrifty, coming in at 30p a portion. Ingredients - Makes 4 servings - 4 peppers (3 red, 1 yellow) - 1 onion (finely chopped) - 1 garlic clove (minced) - 1 1/4 ltrs veg stock - 1 tbsp plain flour - Salt and pepper to taste 1.Preheat grill and line the grill pan with foil. Half the peppers and place them skin up on the foil. Grill until the skin blackens and blisters. 2. Transfer peppers to a plastic bag until they cool. Remove skins and discard. Dice the pepper flesh roughly and set aside. 3. In a pan, combine the onion, garlic and half a cup of stock. Heat until the liquid reduces and the onions soften and begin to colour. 4. Sprinkle the flour over the onions and then gradually stir in the rest of the stock. 5.Add the diced pepper and bring to the boil. 7. Lower the heat and simmer for 5 minutes. 8.Allow to cool and puree, then season. 9. Transfer to the pan to reheat.
Jenny's Fish & Chip Shop Review White Formica tables? Check. Uniformed service crew? Check. Flashing neon signboard? Check. With all the trappings of any good ol' takeaway shop, Jenny’s Fish & Chips is the place to go for some cheap, nofrills nosh when your body craves greasy fast food long after dinnertime. Situated just outside Walmgate, it exudes kitsch diner charm, with its 1950s posters and faded figurines. Simply order from a rather extensive menu and get your food served piping hot under five minutes. Your best bet would be the fish scampi, a steal at £2.80. The tender meat, infused with a slight peppery flavour, is encased in a browned, crumbly crust – much like the healthier sister of the hash brown. The more traditional meal of haddock and chips however, fails to impress. The chips seem promising at first, with a wonderfully creamy texture underneath the firm skin. However, they cool surprisingly quickly, and turn soggy within minutes. As for the haddock, its batter is fried to crisp perfection, though the meat lacks flavour and disintegrates easily. But at £3.20 for relatively large portions, there is nothing a dash of salt and vinegar cannot do. So if you ever feel a little peckish, head over to Jenny’s for that Jina Foo comfort food fix.
22LIFESTYLE
NIGHT-TRIPPER Andy Henrick Leeds the way.
YORK VISION Tuesday November 11, 2008
TRAVEL
TRAVELLERS' TALES
Zoya Pasha and Alex Dale compare stories from their recent travels to Zante and Berlin.
H
ere in the travel office, in an attempt to actually get people to visit the places we talk about, we have decided to change the Day Tripper into… The Night Tripper!! We realise that pretty soon the thought of going to Gallery, Tru, Ziggy’s, or the new monstrosity, Salvation, will send freshers into a fit of boredom only experienced in Maths lectures and, so, decided to give you a refreshing taste of another night life. Leeds. Not only is it home to the famous Leeds United Football Club, but it hosts a wide range of pubs, clubs and fast food outlets. Quite new on the Leeds nightlife scene is the reputable Rehab. With its legendary 80s night every Monday, where the entrance fee as well as every drink will only cost you a studelicious 80p, its definitely one to consider if you’re a little skint and nearing the end of term. Combined with its sexy leather seating, seductive lighting and enough style to shake a stick at, this is definitely a place to go if you want to impress that special someone and your wallet. If you’re more into indie tunage then the Cockpit is the place for you. With gigs being held most nights of the week featuring the likes of The White Stripes, The Kaiser Chiefs, Queens of the Stone Age, Hot Chip and Amy Winehouse, it's one of the hottest music venues in Leeds. If the likes of Tru and Gallery are more up your alley then Oceana is a must. The VIP areas are immense and make its counterparts in Tru look like play pens. Although you would expect to pay through the nose for a night out like this, it’s surprisingly cheap. On selected nights they provide not only free entry, but £1.50 for all drinks, meaning no more repulsive VKs! Unless you’re into that kind of thing, of course. If, however, you are a diehard clubbing monkey, then get ready for ‘Victoria Works’. This clubbing Utopia consists of three warehouse style spaces and boasts an overall capacity of 1800 people. With state of the art lighting, some of the best DJs in the country as well as a huge congregation of people up for a good time, what more could you possibly need? A return ticket to Leeds from York costs a mere £9.80, and to say you would be paying £3.50 to get into Tru, this is such good value. Easy on the purse strings, rocking tunes, and so many of the opposite sex waiting for you to embarrass yourself in front of, what are you waiting for? Leed the way!
Cage dancing and lolly sucking in Zante...
A
fter spending our fresher year sampling the delights of Tru, Ziggy’s and Gallery all too frequently, my friends and I decided to venture to foreign shores in search of a higher calling.
Zakynthos or Zante, commonly known as the Ibiza for chavs, appealed to us immediately. We were promised cheap drinks, cage dancing and days on the beach. We were there. One night that remains particularly memorable to my friends and I was the night we went to ‘Sabotage’, a trashy club filled with chavs and other desperate hopefuls. Dressed in our finest rave attire, my friends and I wandered down to ‘Sabotage’ where we were met by several thirty-something Australians who gave us wristbands and proceeded to pour what tasted like lighter fluid down our throats. It was going to be a good night. The club was packed and we all huddled around the bar for our 30 cent drinks, like animals around a waterhole. Amidst the chaos, I felt something hit my leg from behind. It was a banana flavoured condom, unopened thankfully. Feeling the height of elegance after consuming about five drinks each, we made our way to the dancefloor and the long awaited cages. Five of us squeezed into one cage, some of us swaying and struggling to support ourselves. This was definitely one of the finer moments of our trip.
One of my friends, who had made it his mission to take full advantage of the cheap bar, seemed to have lost all spatial awareness and began gyrating and thrusting in ways only appropriate for a cage. Drinks were spilt and it was getting a bit messy so I vacated the cage and went to get another drink from the bar. All of a sudden, the music stopped and one of the Australians asked for some female volunteers from the crowd. Several pasty monstrosities with matching t-shirts emerged and were handed ice lollies. They were then told that this was an ‘oral sex competition’ in which the girl who displayed the best skills with the ice lolly would be the winner. All this was to be watched and judged by the men in the club. This was probably the most repugnant thing I have ever seen as they proceeded to deepthroat before our very eyes, probably passing on their numerous STD’s. They were jeered on by the crowd, so much so that one of the girls began to dip the lolly between her voluptuous breasts and smear the poor lolly between them. Later on in the evening this girl took it upon herself to
utilise her skills on her holiday romance in the corner of the bar for all to see. It was not a sight for a weak stomach. At the end of the night, one of the Australian club reps instructed us all to ‘Look to the left and look to the right. You will end up waking up next to one of these people.’ Thankfully to my right and my left were the people I was sharing a room with.
by Zoya Pasha
Toilet Troubles in Berlin...
I
awoke to the sound of a door opening with the owner of the Easterner Hostel, Berlin, poking his head around the partially opened door. I was in the middle of a drunken stupor and so assumed that nothing he was saying was concerning us. I just switched off in an attempt to sleep off my hangover. But then he said something that sent a shiver down my spine and forced me to accept consciousness: “Nicholas... where is Nicholas Leitch?” My stomach churned.
After a silent pause my travelling companion, the Sneitch, replied: “Yes, I’m here.” His tone suggested he’d just woken up or he knew he was in trouble. “I’ve had a complaint made about you. I think we need to chat. Come and find me when you’re up and ready,” said the owner, ominously. Complaints made along the journey, especially about The Sneitch, were inevitable. However, I didn’t expect the first complaint to be made on the second day of our month-long tour. We decided to kick start our trip by alternating pints of German lager with various museums and attractions... Not the best combination. We finished our sightseeing pub crawl after the 7th or 8th pint and returned to the hostel. Having arranged to go to some bars with some people we’d met that day, we started to prepare for the night's drinking by getting suitably prelashed. However, once we arrived in the supermarket, we got a little carried away, coming home with a bottle of Apple Schnapps each and a bottle of gin to share. After this my memory becomes a little patchy. I know we both finished our Schnapps and made a healthy start on the gin. The next thing I remember was waking
up the next day. I guess we didn’t make it out. The next morning after the wake up call from the hostel owner, we both got dressed and I asked the Sneitch if he knew what the complaint was about; he had no idea. He composed himself, trying to hide the fact that he was still in the pit of morning drunkenness, and approached the owner. “Hi... erm... you mentioned a complaint,” said the Sneitch in a very polite tongue. “Yes... err... you were very drunk last night, yes? Maybe... you had a little too much?” he replied. “Yeah, I did kind of have a lot. What did I do?” “Well I think you were so drunk that you forgot where the toilet was! I got called up at 1.30 in the morning to clean up the mess you made. You pissed in the kitchen, the hallway, the reception, your dormitory... You pissed everywhere but the toilet!” My heart sank. I was sure we’d be spending most of our day looking for another hostel. “Jesus... I’m really, really sorry. I don’t really know what to say...” the Sneitch replied in his most apologetic manner. He didn’t sound particularly surprised, though. These kinds
of acts aren’t unknown for him. “Well, you're only staying one more night yes? Just watch what you drink tonight please.” I was utterly shocked at the man’s liberal approach to running a hostel. My respect for hostel staff had doubled in matter of seconds. We simply could not believe our luck. The hostel had been completely Sneitched, yet he was still willing to let us stay another night. So the moral of my story is that when you’re staying in hostels, don’t get so smashed that you forget where the toilet is... but then again you’ll probably get away with it if you do so... OK, OK, there’s no moral to my story.
YORK VISION
SPORT
Tuesday November 11, 2008
SPORTS SHORTS %OH BEER ME!% Which basketball player was feeling a bit worse for wear after only a couple of pints so asked the Ziggy’s barmaid to fill his bottle of Fosters with water to keep up his manly image? Theres nothing manly about drinking water my hoop shooting friend.
PRO EVIL Which football player has been keeping his housemates up until the wee ealy hours with late night PES sessions? The lad, whose girl housemates are at their wits end, recently came home from a boozed up night out and played until 6:30 am with two team mates. With the woops of joy and screams of despair, people not in the know could have thought anything was happening in his room...
THE MINORITY REPORT Andy McGrath asks for support and exposure for our sporting underdogs T
HE BEIJING OLYMPICS proved that, while the country has never been more average at athletics, our cyclists, rowers and swimmers are among those putting the “Great” in Britain. While we may have marvelled at Chris "Hoycules" Hoy's thighs or cheered on as teenage Rebecca Adlington made a splash in the pool, these names and achievements will soon fade into the ether for another four years. Ultimately, they are just mercenary one-night stands: the country orgasms as they snatch gold, then leaves before they wake up and doesn’t even take their number. These sports are sadly not so accessible or affordable; moreover, they fail to capture the imagination. Little Jimmy watching Ben Ainslie’s success in Milton Keynes isn’t going to go: “Mummy, buy me some boat shoes and a racing yacht and drive me 80 miles to the nearest lake every weekend, I want to win Olympic sailing gold.” The naked truth is that, no matter how the nation fares, fans and media alike will always cosy up to the likes of football, tennis and rugby, the exciting and approachable babes of our culture. After all, the only reason Victoria Pendleton (right) is particularly better-known than other track cyclists is because she’s bloody good-looking. That said, who am I to preach? I reacted in horror and disbelief to Zara Phillips’s
CHECK MATE Which UYRFC member likes nothing more than a game of chess after a hards day work? Instead of having a sociable game against friends, he sits alone struggling to beat the computer on easy level. Maybe he isn't the big man on campus anymore.
SHAME SPIRALS Several members of York's football club have been wallowing in their own self pity lately and falling into 'shame spirals'. This process involves getting drunk, doing something you shouldn't, feeling bad about it, getting drunk because you feel bad, doing something worse, feeling worse about, getting drunk .....
Got any juicy gossip or comments for us? Email us at: sport@yorkvison.co.uk
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BY ADAM LEWIS
A
being voted 2006 Sports Personality of the Year - Is equestrianism even a ‘proper’ sport? Must have been those horsey militant-monarchist fans” - is indicative not only of a blokeish blinkering of perspective, but also the short shrift we give to these sports. It is a superficial attitude, but
Vicky Pendleton. Insert "hard ride" bicycle-related sexual innuendo here.
it will take generations to change this on a national level. It is exactly the same here at York; football, rugby and hockey may be the limelight-hoggers, but who knew that the university actually excels at darts, pool and fencing at a national level? York’s love affair with its smaller sports is all too brief: only during Roses do water polo or ultimate Frisbee really receive any attention. It remains something of paradox that these minority sports are not only under-
supported but also under-funded, as the York Sport membership-fee price-hitch threatens to marginalize smaller clubs. Do they suffer from an image problem? Darts is associated with throwing things and heavy drinking - surely a man’s ideal game? Anyone who went to the Roses match will recall that it enjoyed one of the best atmospheres of any sport played in Lancaster, a haze of partisan, back-andforth chanting (“Yorkshiiiiire!”), crude ‘your-mum’-joke banners, dodgy entrance songs and cheap pints. When Lancaster threw the winning dart, there was a frenzied “pitch invasion” on the baize. Passion, intensity and skill, all mixed with a healthy dose of lager. What’s not to like? Of course, this dearth of attention can work both ways. Away from the focus, smaller teams on campus have been able to foster a more heartening attitude of enjoyment and sportsmanship. York’s volleyball squad are a fine example. While still serious about the game, they aim to also enjoy themselves, chanting team songs and cheers during games. Considering the Men’s team status in the Northern Conference 1A (effectively the Premiership), this approach appears to be doing them no harm whatsoever. Just as puppies aren’t only for Christmas, and condoms aren’t only for when you feel like it, minority sports aren’t only for Roses. So, take a look at some of the less-appreciated sports at the university, . They simply don’t get the attention or the acclaim that they deserve.
COLLEGE FOOTBALL
new University year means that college football is back and this term promises not to dissapoint recent years. After Alcuin’s Winter and Spring double they were heavily expected to achieve success only for the underachievers Goodricke to finally clinch the ultimate prize of the Summer college cup. However, this year’s college 1sts and 2nds have a fresh feel with many college stalwarts like Myles Preston, Owen Grafham and Chris Lavender leaving, opening up opportunities for freshers and players who featured lower down in the squads in previous seasons. The college football 1sts started at a frantic pace with revamped Langwith getting thumped 8-1 by a fancied Vanbrugh side in the opening set of fixtures. A greatly improved Wentworth side caused James major problems with James struggling to score until the latter stages of the game. A Goodricke loss to Derwent will severely hinder their prospects but the game of the opening weekend was Halifax against Alcuin, in which the title favourites scraped a 3-2 win after being 2-1 behind
with five minutes to play. Alcuin then gained another three points the following week with a battling 3-2 win over Derwent inspired by the gentle-giant, new skipper Dan Cox which could prove the pivotal result come the end of the term. After their impressive display in the 2-0 loss the previous week, Wentworth were hoping for a major upset against a depleted Goodricke side but could only muster a 5-1 loss. Vanbrugh beat James 2-1 with a heavily-disputed late goal, scored in the final moments. James protested to UYAFC president/college referee Shaun ‘Collina’ Evans but the Welshman denied seeing anything untoward. Halifax bounced back with a 6-2 victory against Langwith and with a fresh-looking squad, new Halifax skipper Harrison can only be hoping for a term of consolidation. The third week of college football saw a day of unexpected results. One of the shocks came in the Goodricke v Langwith fixture with the Langwith side battling to a 4-4 draw. With fresh faces dotted around the Langwith side it was the yellows who took the lead with a mix-up in the Goodricke defence. Goodricke soon bounced back with Sam Lewis nodding
in a Coupland cross minutes later. The same combination worked not long after that with Lewis grabbing another goal. Langwith struck back with an equaliser before the end of the half with Goodricke’s new keeper fumbling a shot and allowing the Langwith striker to nip in. Skipper Adlou’s team talk rejuvenated the spirits somewhat with Coupland winning a penalty and Messi-lookalike Sam Lewis sealing his hat-trick with the penalty. However, Langwith came back yet again with another fumble by Goodricke’s keeper handing the goal to the opposition on a plate. The underdogs thought they had won the match minutes later when the lively Starky scored his second by rounding the floundering keeper and tucking the ball past the scrambling Goodricke defence on the line. Minutes later a deep free-kick cross ended up with substitute Pollock guiding home a muchneeded equaliser for Goodricke tackling the ball into the goal. But this will go down as two points lost rather than one point gained for Goodricke. With at least eight players missing every week so far, they are much in need for some of the spirit which won them the college cup.
Other results on this topsyturvy day of college football included a surprise 5-2 victory for James against a fancied Alcuin side. With centre-backs Smith and Loftus forming and a solid partnership and striker Offord causing mayhem up front with two goals, James are looking like an outside bet for the title and a very tough side to beat. Alcuin dropped their first points of the season with goal machine Onwudike grabbing one, Cox the other but vitally Cox also missed a penalty for the title favourites. The other highly-rated side, Vanbrugh also lost points with a 3-1 loss against Halifax with university stalwarts McKellow, Brennan and Richards all grabbing goals. Wentworth’s losing streak continued with a 5-1 drubbing against a fancied Derwent side with a reinvigorated Anton Murphy grabbing two goals. Every college side has lost at least one game out of three so far and the title is up for grabs. Any side can theoretically still win the title and six of the eight colleges must still be fancying their chances.
24 SPORT
YORK VISION
INTERVIEW: PHIL BROWN
Tuesday November 11, 2008
RAISING HULL
Hull City's meteoric rise into the upper reaches of the Premiership has been one of the stories of the season. Rob Romans talks to the manager of the moment.
HULL CITY AFC'S TRANSITION into Premiership high-flyers has been a real-life Hull-ywood story. While success takes considerable finances and luck, ultimately it comes down to the man in charge. Hull have been blessed with Phil Brown, a leader who has ensured that the Tigers have been a pitchfork in the side of several of the country's finest teams. Brown's exponential rise reflects his team's own success. His first managerial position was as Sam Allardyce’s assistant at his beloved Bolton. Many expected him to struggle when given the reigns of Derby County in 2005. Perhaps this is down to the widespread view that assistant managers who go on to becoming good managers are hard to come by. You only need to look at the plight of Brian Kidd, Sammy Lee, Chris Hutchings and Les Reed to see how hard the transition from number two to number one is. Phil Brown conceded: “It was a steep learning curve. The pressures of management at a club that was £33 million in debt at the time stood me in good stead for any future challenges”, he said of his time at Derby, which ended after seven months in charge. Many of the people who had expected him to fail were saying that it was inevitable and his management career was over, before he went to Hull to become assistant to the newly-appointed Phil Parkinson. Nearly as soon as the partnership was created, it was fractured as Parkinson left the club, leaving Brown in caretaker control, before he eventually got the job on a full time basis in December 2006; Brown had his second chance and he has certainly taken full use of it, by guiding Hull into the Premiership. Brown took the Championship strugglers to the Premiership in just one and a half seasons. So, how did he do it? “You
can only achieve Premier League status by having a Premier League mentality in your football club. That is what we set out to achieve, but first and foremost we had to establish ourselves as a Championship club and by that I mean at the right end of the table” Brown told Vision. “When you get into the playoffs you have to take your chance and we did.” Promotion led Hull into unknown territory, but it wasn’t completely alien to Brown, “My experience at Bolton proved invaluable. I haven’t copied anything that Sam has used. There is a model here, though, with regards to what we did at Bolton and I’ve maybe copied some of that model” admitted Brown. ”But in terms of coaching methods, Sam does things his way and I do things my way. I had eight years there as assistant manager and first team coach under Colin Todd and Sam Allardyce." He went on: “In those eight years, we were promoted as champions, relegated, promoted through the play-offs, survived in the Premier League and ended up in Europe. That level of experience would stand anybody in good stead”. Indeed, it evidently has served Brown
well: Hull have taken 20 points from 12 games, a run that has catapulted them into the top six of the P re m i e rship. The transition from the Championship to the Premiership has appeared seamless for the Tigers; “Absolutely fine. I love every minute of it!” said Brown of his newly found ‘celebrity’ status as a Premiership manager. Did Brown feel that’s Hull early season form could be because teams had underestimated them? “I think respect is being gained as games go by. We’ve given a good account of ourselves in ten out of eleven games so far” says Brown, “Even though we lost to Chelsea and Manchester United, I thought we still gave a good account of ourselves and we gained some respect from those teams. We have been underestimated by certain teams and that has
been to their detriment.” A man key to Hull’s recent success is the Brazilian Geovanni, cast aside by Manchester City in the summer, but a revelation for Hull. “Maybe he’s got a manager who is giving him a chance and trusting him. He didn’t feel he was getting that from Manchester City”, feels Brown, “We have given him the opportunity to go and show everybody what he is capable of. He has responded to that with some great performances.” It is not just Geovanni earning the plaudits, however, with club captain Ian Ashbee also receiving overly-due praise. “He is pivotal to our system and he has also been pivotal in the success the club has had over the last five years. His role as club captain and that shows how vital he is." Ashbee is the first player to have ever captained the same side in all four divisions, an amazing achievement given the gulf in class between League Two and the Premiership. After such an impressive start, can Hull push for a place in Europe? “Establishing ourselves in the Premier League is our ultimate priority. It could take one, two or even three years, before we could seriously become contenders for European places” reckons Brown. Moreover, Brown felt that the club’s 21st century footballing revolution has reflected well on the city as a whole: The success we’ve had over the last couple of years has given a new vibrant outlook to the area and long may that continue.” Brown has made a fine transition from Bolton background man to Hull’s head honcho, and is enjoying riding the crest of a wave. However, how he responds to the inevitable trough in form Hull will suffer after its recent highs will test his status as a top manager to the limit.
HOW HULL CITY ROSE TO THE TOP OF FOOTBALL'S FOOD CHAIN After a poor start to their Division Three campaign, Peter Taylor is brought in. Hull move from Boothferry Park to the 25,000-seater KC Stadium. Hull finish 11th, but the seeds are sown for their rise to the top.
2002-03
Promotion beckons for Taylor's Tigers. After staying in the hunt all year long, they finished second to Doncaster Rovers.
2003-04
Hull pull off a coup in signing hometown boy and England player Nickty Barmby. Runnersup again, and it's a sensational second successive promotion in the club's centenary year. NI international Stuart Elliott is the talisman, contributing 29 goals.
2004-05
It's all about consolidation as the team adapt to their first year in the Championship. Hull finish 18th, ready to build on that performance.
2005-06
Over the summer, Peter Taylor controversially jumps ship to Crystal Palace. New manager Phil Parkinson brings in Premiership players Dean Marney and Michael Bridges. However, with Hull in the relegation zone as Christmas approaches, Parkinson's assistant Phil Brown is put in charge and steers the team to safety.
2006-07
Fan's favourite Dean Windass is the hero, firing in the goal that sends Hull into the country's top tier of football for the first time ever, in a tense play-off final against Bristol City.
2007-08
Hull are the surprise package of the Premiership, dispatching heavyweights Arsenal and Newcastle United with a mix of tigerish tenacity and foreign flair. Summer signings Geovanni and George Boateng are in sparkling form, as media and fans alike wonder whether the club can keep it up and push for a place in Europe. However, as Vision go to press, they have lost three in a row.
2008-09
YORK VISION
SPORT
Tuesday November 11, 2008
ASK PHIL...
“When you cross that white line, you have to make sure you put a shift in.”
York FOOTBALL 1sts are currently playing in BUCS DIVISION 2B after earning successive promotions. Their rise is not a million miles away from what Hull did to end up in the Championship, gaining straight promotions from lower leagues to end up a step away from the top table of football. So what do York need to do to keep going and gain another promotion?
FITNESS “Fitness has always been a high priority of mine. Organisation of the team, understanding roles and responsibilities are also key”
future plans
Vision asked agony uncle Phil Brown for some advice.
”A club can progress providing there is a long term plan in place”
...VERDICT Conceding two late goals against Durham last week could be a subtle sign that the beer is taking its toll, but time is limited for training between matches. Sessions generally involve more organisational work than improving fitness. Money-wise, the club’s current debt has resulted in players refereeing college matches on a Sunday as reparations. Funding is a constant hindrance to the majority of clubs on campus. Alex Lacy has proposed a financial structure to help club treasurers which will hopefully correct some of the mismanagement. Future plans could be a problem for a university team dependent on impressive freshers to constantly reinvent the team. As players come and go, perhaps the long term focus could be to attract more athletes by improving York’s sporting facilities.
SQUASH
Finance
The University of York Men’s 2nds suffered the narrowest of defeats to Newcastle 3rds on Wednesday, losing 2-1 to their Tyneside opponents in a match that could have gone either way. After losing the opening game of his match, York number two James Branter put in a gritty display to take the next two games and gain a 2-1 advantage over his Newcastle opponent. But he was unable to capitalise on this lead and was helpless to stop his opposite number clawing back the fourth game and forcing the match into a tense fifth game decider which he lost 11-4. On the other court York captain Matt Brennan was involved in another tightly contested affair as he came from 2-1 behind to take the match the distance for the second time that afternoon. He was beaten 11-3 in the final set. The final game saw York number one Will Maitland convert performance into points as he won his match 3-1 with an accomplished display. His victory helps York off the bottom and above Northumbria in Division 3A of the BUSA squash league. Of his team’s performance Matt Brennan stated, ‘I think we were unlucky today, they were all tight games that could have gone either way and
“In relative terms, it hasn’t played a very big role. It is nice to be at a club that is currently in the black and not trading with any kind of debt. That takes a little bit of pressure off you in terms of management”
leadership “Whether you’re a coach, manager or player; leadership qualities will come to the surface. What is important is that the manager or captain has leadership qualities”
MATCH REPORTS
BADMINTON BY ADAM LUKE
BY LEWIS PHILLIPS
YORK MEN'S 2NDS 1 NEWCASTLE MEN'S 3RDS 2
25
our first team lost by the same margin so we’ve not done bad’. That fact in mind, it should make for an interesting encounter when the seconds entertain York 1sts in their next game.
YORK WOMEN'S 1STS 3 NEWCASTLE WOMEN'S 2NDS 1 In their second game of the season York ladies’ 1sts cruised to victory against Newcastle 2nds. York number four Ciara Wilder was beaten 3-0 in the opening match but from there on in the home team asserted their dominance with number three Johanna Augustus achieving a comfortable 3-1 win whilst both Lydia Vas Nunes and Jess Hunter produced flawless displays to take their by 3 games to love. Ladies’ captain Johanna Augustus was pleased with the team’s efforts, acknowledging that ‘everyone did well and they were all good games, it’s a good result’. The result bodes well for the firsts who travel up to Newcastle in their next game to take on the university’s third team.
YORK 1sts
5
NORTHUMBRIA 1sts
3
YORK CAME THROUGH a closely fought tie with Northumbria to pick up a deserved victory in the BUCS league on Wednesday. Playing in only their second league match of the year, following a comfortable 6-2 win over Newcastle seconds, the home side were looking for victory over a side that league contender Durham put away last week; a fact not lost upon captain Will Wiseman who stressed the importance of “keeping up with our rivals.” York started brightly taking a 3-1 lead into the half-time break. Ricky Canabar and John Choi, a new partnership after postgraduate Choi’s arrival in York this year, comfortably defeated Northumbria’s second doubles pairing, whilst York’s first doubles outfit of Will Wiseman and Paddy Clarke also opened with a win against their counterparts. Meanwhile in the singles, York’s Ed Chuck went down at the racquet of Northumbria’s number two, whilst number one Duy Nguyen enjoyed an assured victory to extend York’s lead. This despite the fact that both players were suffering from illness throughout the tie. In the second round of matches, the away team rallied. A disappointed Nguyen was defeated in straight games by Northumbria’s number two, and in un-
doubtedly the most tense and exciting game of the fixture, Chuck missed out on upsetting Northumbria’s first man, Harrison, losing the deciding game 22-20. Fortunately for the home side, Canabar and Choi were able to continue their winning ways with a tight win over their second opponents of the afternoon. With the scores at 4-3 in the hosts’ favour it was left to the final match to determine whether York would take the league points or share them with Northumbria. All eyes were on Wiseman and Clarke as they faced Northumbria’s second pairing. The match was back and forth with errors and winners from both sides as the pressure and expectation mounted from the sidelines. York gradually took control, taking the first game and completing the victory with a tight 21-17 win in the second to win the match and the fixture. Afterwards, Wiseman was quick to praise his players for their efforts in what has been a busy start to term. “Today we had two players who are not feeling great so we were not at full strength. Although the scoreline seems close, I think we could and probably should have won 6-2. It’s been tough this term because York University is so late in starting. We’re playing catch-up with the rest of the country, ending up with two or three games a week because of all the league and cup games we’ve missed, plus the BUCS singles tournament we’ll all be heading to this month. But fitness is good at the moment and we’re winning.”
26 SPORT
YORK VISION
Tuesday November 11, 2008
Desperate for extra cash? Just ask...
MATCH REPORT
GIRL POWER: YORK OVERHAUL HULL RUGBY YORK WOMENS 1sts 29 HULL WOMENS 1STS 5 BY SARAH MCLOUGHLIN
YORK WOMEN'S FIRST XV dominated Hull in their first league game of the season. Strong forward play and impressive speed by the backs combined to put a succession of
tries on the board to give the team a promising start to the season. As play began, York sought for a way to break through Hull’s defence. It didn’t take long before outside centre, Emma Cooper, delivered with a sprint up the left side of
the pitch, dodging several Hull defenders to score her first try of the match. After this promising start, York struggled to increase their lead until a powerful drive by prop, Kirsty Wheeler, opened up some space on the field, allowing Captain Chrissie Leahy to put the ball over the line. In the closing minutes of the first half Hull scored a try of their own, after several rucks close to the try line provided the opening they needed. York’s lead began to look more uncertain, and Leahy and vice-captain, Emma Hodgson, used the half-time break in play to urge their team to keep cool heads, and work together to keep the pressure on Hull. York came back onto the pitch fighting, pushing hard at Hull’s defensive line, and it paid off with a succession of tries by Lizzie Prance, Kate Fullilove and several more by Cooper that steadily put the game out of Hull’s reach. Despite York’s rapidly increasing lead in the closing stages of the second half, Hull did not give up. They kept attacking, searching for a gap in York’s line, and trying to push York back into their own half. However, a leg injury to one of their props in the closing minutes of the game forced them to call a halt to play. When the final whistle blew, York were clearly the dominant team, combining strong play by individuals with determination and teamwork. These will all serve them well in their encounter with local rivals, York St John, this Wednesday. In last year’s Varsity game, York won convincingly 42-5, but despite the score, St John were worthy opponents. York would do well not to underestimate them in what promises to be a hard-fought match.
UNIVERSITY RESULTS - MENS -
Badminton
- BUCS Northern Conference 2B Newcastle 2nds 2-6 York 1sts, York 1sts 5-3 Northumbria 1sts. - BUCS Northern Conference 3B Sheffield 2nds 5-3 York 2nds, Durham 2nds 5-3 York 2nds. - BUCS Northern Conference 4B York 3rds 4-4 Huddersfield 1sts. - BUCS Cup 1st Round Bradford 2nds 0-8 York 1sts, York 3rds 0-8 Durham 1sts.
Basketball
- BUCS Northern Conference 3B York 1sts 67-59 Leeds 2nds, Leeds Met. 2nds 91-17 York 1sts, Sheffield Hallam 2nds 44-40 York 1sts.
Fencing
- BUCS Northern Conference 1A Keele 1sts 107-125 York 1sts, York 1sts 135-119 Newcastle 1sts.
Football
- BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 0-1 Leeds Met. 2nds, Durham 1sts 3-0 York 1sts. - BUCS Northern Conference 5B Teeside 3rds 2-4 York 2nds, York 2nds 1-3 Northumbria 4ths. - BUCS Northern Conference 6B Teeside 4ths 3-4 York 3rds, York 3rds 3-2 York St. Johns 4ths. - BUCS Northern Conference 6D York 4ths 0-6 Huddersfield 2nds, Hull 6ths 0-6 York 4ths. - BUCS Cup 1st Round York 4ths 0-5 York 1sts, Teeside 2nds 3-3 York 2nds (York 2nds win 5-4 on pens) - Northern Universities Football League Division 1 York 0-0 Leeds York 4-0 Bradford.
League Division 2 York 2-1 Leeds York 6-0 Bradford. League Division 3 York 1-5 Leeds York 3-0 Bradford.
Golf
- BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 3-3 Sheffield Hallam 1sts.
Table Tennis
- BUCS Northern Co nference 1A York 1sts 6-11 Sheffield 1sts Leeds 1sts 9-8 York 1sts.
- BUCS Northern Conference 4B Bradford 1sts 0-10 York 2nds York 2nds 4-6 Teeside 1sts - BUCS Cup 1st Round York 1sts 10-0 Teeside 1sts
Tennis
Volleyball
- BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 2-8 Hull 1sts Durham 2nds 8-2 York 1sts.
Hockey
- BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 2-3 Northumbria, Durham 2nds 5-0 York 1sts. - BUCS Northern Conference 5B York 2nds 1-3 Leeds Met. 2nds, Northumbria 2nds 4-0 York 2nds. - BUCS Cup 1st Round York 1sts 2-0 Leeds 4ths, York 2nds 0-1 Teeside 1sts.
Lacrosse
- BUCS Northern Conference 1B Leeds Met. 1sts 6-3 York 1sts, York 1sts 4-18 Leeds 1sts.
Rugby
- BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 43-21 Northumbria 3rds. - BUCS Northern Conference 3B Sheffield Hallam 2nds 50-8 York 2nds York 2nds 12-19 Northumbria 4ths. - BUCS Northern Conference 4B York 3rds 19-56 Sunderland 1sts, Leeds 3rds 24-0 York 3rds. - BUCS Cup 1st Round York 3rds 35-3 York St. Johns 2nds.
Squash - BUCS Northern Conference 3A Newcastle 3rds 2-1 York 1sts York 1sts 3-0 York 2nds York 2nds 1-2 Newcastle 3rds.
- WOMENS Badminton
- BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 8-0 Bradford 1sts, Northumbria 1sts 4-4 York 1sts.
Basketball
- BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 35-46 Bradford 1sts, Sunderland 1sts 52-42 York 1sts.
Fencing
- BUCS Northern Conference 1B York 1sts 85-135 Leeds 1sts, Northumbria 1sts 128-117 York 1sts.
Football
- BUCS Northe rn Conference 3B York 1sts 5-0 Hull 1sts
Hockey
- BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 0-2 Leeds 2nds Newcastle 2nds 0-0 York 1sts.
- BUCS Northern Conference 6B
York 2nds 1-0 Sheffield 5ths Hull 2nds 1-4 York 2nds York St. John 2nds 2-4 York 2nds.
Lacrosse
- BUCS Northern Conference 2A
- BUCS Northern Conference 1A Sheffield 1sts 0-3 York 1sts Manchester 1sts 3-0 York 1sts York 1sts 0-3 Sheffield Hallam 1sts. York 1sts 25-0 Keele 1sts Durham 3rds 12-7 York 1sts Leeds Met. 1sts 2-6 York 1sts.
Netball
- BUCS Northern Conference 3A York 2nds 42-26 Hull 2nds Leeds Trinity 1sts 31-31 York 2nds. - BUCS Northern Conference 4B Northumbria 3rds 25-26 York 1sts York 1sts 36-20 Sunderland 1sts Huddersfield 54-27 York 1sts - BUCS Northern Conference 6B York 3rds 29-44 Sheffield Hallam 3rds Sunderland 2nds 48-8 York 3rds.
Rugby
- BUCS Northern Conference 2B York 1sts 29-5 Hull 1sts.
Squash
- BUCS Northern Conference 2B Durham 2nds 2-2 York 1sts York 1sts 3-1 Newcastle 2nds.
Tennis
- BUCS Northern Conference 2B Newcastle 2nds 5-5 York 1sts,York 1sts 7-3 Leeds 2nds York 1sts 4-6 Leeds Met. 3rds
Volleyball
- BUCS Northern Conference 2B Bradford 1sts 3-0 York 1sts
THE
TIPSTER
The Yorker's (unofficial) top tipster has moved his column to Vision to spread the gospel of gambling. So let’s get cracking...
sure thing LEWIS HAMILTON TO WIN SPORTS PERSONALITY OF THE YEAR
4/7
Sporting drama at its best is how I would describe Hamilton’s victory in Brazil against home town favourite Felipe Massa with Hamilton overtaking Timo Glock at the last corner to snatch the title. Even Massa’s team thought their man had won and the expression on his Dad’s face was priceless when his ecstasy turned into despair, you just have to laugh until it happens to you. His closest challengers for the gong are Olympians Rebecca Addlington and Chris Hoy who are at a disadvantage as their event happened a few months ago which is long enough for this fickle sporting nation to almost forget. Add in Hamilton’s X-factor of celebrity looks, girlfriend and wallet compared to the Olympian’s who-factor and Hamilton should win. Remember, the public vote is not always the right vote.
good thing
IAN BELL TO STOP SCORE V INDIA ODIs
9/2
I’m not sure any England player will score any runs after the debacle in the West Indies but KP won’t let a performance like that happen again. With India just inflicting Australia’s first Test series defeat since we beat them in 2005, it could be a case of after the Lord Mayor’s Show for India in the ODIs with us. The most likely batsmen to prosper in this case would be the opener as they would bat in every game and avoid the turning wickets later when the spinner comes on later in the innings. Add in the fact that Bell has been in the top three England scorers in the last three ODI series and I think we’re onto a winner.
feel good ENGLAND TO WIN 3 OF 4 AUTUMN TEST MATCHES Spurs’ turn around has been put down to ‘ feel good factor’ around the club since ‘Arry Redknapp took charge. What this factor exactly is is unknown but everyone’s favourite elderly Londoner has brought it to the Lane and improved results with the help of it. Is his team talk full of witty one liners to improve moral? Does he take the lads to the fun fayre after training to keep them smiling? Who knows, but it’s working. Another team with the ‘feel good factor’ is the English rugby side with Martin Johnson in charge for the first time. I’m not sure if it’s the that or the ‘fear factor’ which is going to play a bigger role but I know I wouldn’t want to lose if he was in charge of my side. Take England to win two of the three next tight contests against the super powers of world rugby at (hopefully) fortress Twickenham.
YORK VISION
SPORT
Tuesday November 11, 2008
27
This week, Vision focuses on York's richest club
SPOTLIGHT
YUSNOW IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST CLUBS ON CAMPUS with over 200 paid up member as of now, 150 of them being freshers. They can also claim to be the richest club on campus after taking over £3000 at the fresher’s fair, so the club are going anywhere but downhill. Competitively, the club enter two mixed ski teams (with at least one girl in each team), a women’s ski team and two mixed snowboard teams. Places on the teams are well sought after with the club being so big, so training can get quite intense and can involve some one-upmanship. Practice makes perfect so it is vital that all team members attend training every week. The degree of improvement that can be achieved in slalom from regular training is large, thus giving hope to any potential Eddie the Eagle’s out in York. YUsnow have already had a good start to the season with two races under their belts so far in the North-West division. The snowboard first team are bossing their league so far, the women’s skiers are second in theirs while the mixed ski teams have endured
a frustrating start to the season but are primed to put that right in the next few races. The club does compete for BUCS points and with the chance of a top five finish in BUCS should cash in some points for York. They also took six points from six at Roses last year, vital given how close the contest is. At this coming Roses contest, eight points will be available to snow sports, hopefully translating to eight guaranteed points towards the York total. York’s hopes of being number one nationally took a slight bump when York saw the Newcastle team sheet full of British team skiers, but with national champion Max Hardy skiing for York, who knows? This is the first year York has put out a snowboard team and as earlier mentioned are top of their league. This is made all the more impressive as it is a team made up of freshers with the exception of Kate Hicks who captains the side. The team has a lot of potential with them doing so well as freshers, lets hope the sex, drugs and rock and roll lifestyle of York doesn’t affect them too much over
their stay in YO10. The ski team is predominantly made up of returning students like Matt Thomas, James Lodge and Will Sage, however Sage has just broken his collarbone after a promising start to the year on the training slopes. There is still hope for freshers to break into the ski team though, as proved by Conrad Bartos who has already represented York after impressing early in the term. As well as the competitive aspect of YUsnow, there is the social side and this could be seen as a reason for their large membership. The Easter holidays see YUsnow descend upon Val Thorens for a week of ‘intense’ skiing and intense drinking. With 80 people booked in the first week alone it looks set to be the best ski trip the club have ever put on.
Fancy a cheap bender with a bit of skiing? Book your place on next Easter's trip to Val Thorens
NEWS IN BRIEF
BUCS ANALYSIS WHY DO YORK STRUGGLE EARLY? The most prominent reason has to be the late start. Trials are normally held in Freshers Week, before Freshers Fair, while many of the freshers are severely hungover, obviously not showing off their full potential. This makes it harder for captains to see the real talent and where it could fit in to their side. Universities like Leeds and Sheffield will have open days in the first couple of days where freshers can meet club representatives and see if they want to trial, with the actual trial taking place in the third or fourth week of term. This leaves them a couple of weeks to gel, train together and figure out tactics and plans.
STRUGGLING York are thrown in at the deep-end with some players taking the field not knowing everyone’s names, let alone everyone’s role in the team. This comes with time, so expect an improvement in the coming weeks. Considering this, many of the team sports are struggling. The men’s Hockey 1sts fielded a team, of which half consisted of freshers, for their first match - a game that they lost 3-2. They followed that up with a 5-0
loss to Durham 2nds in their respective BUCS league. The teams that are doing well either have a team made up of mostly returning students or those that rely more upon single competitors winning points than teamwork. The women’s Rugby 1sts sit atop their league with the same core of players as last year, while fencing and badminton are sitting pretty. Though there is great camaraderie in these sports, they are largely decided by a single competitor (or doubles in badminton) to gain the points needed for victory.
POSITIVITY The women’s Rugby team have won one game, the same as their male counterparts, except one sits atop the league while the other sits mid-table. The Men’s 1sts were forced to forfeit their match against Newcastle and thus are now on 0 points after winning one game from one. The fact that the game was due to take place before the York term had even started only adds to the madness. So after a mixed start (around one part good, two parts bad and one part indifferent), the teams of York should start to play better together and get used to each other’s style. The results will come!
MEMBERSHIP BY MICHAEL SNEDDON DESPITE THE CONTINUING CONTROVERSY of the increased £40 charge to join the rebranded York Sport, membership has reached record highs, with around a quarter of the student population now a member, according to recent statistics. Alongside the uproar over the price hike from £15 to £40, there stands displeasure at the fact that the YS membership has now been combined into the Sports Centre joining fee, even though not all clubs who join York Sport have the need to use the Sports Centre. This has not put off the 2337 people who have joined thus far. YS president Alex Lacy says the new method is much improved than
previous years, where sports players had to join the two separately. “The high levels of membership are a result of the process becoming simpler and I’m thrilled about the numbers we’ve had sign up already. This was one of my election pledges so I’m just really pleased,” said a delighted Lacy. The proactive role he takes at the helm of the university’s sporting infrastructure also seems to be paying dividends. The three free fitness sessions that York Sport runs a week are being hailed as a success, with upwards of 100 people attending each week. These sessions consist of circuit training geared at improving fitness levels among York students, and the early signs are that they are not only working, but also popular on campus.
Issue 192
Tuesday, November 11th 2008
COLLEGE P25 FOOTBALL GOALFEST Rugby 1sts beat Teesside
Netballers record first BUSA win
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YORK LACKS BUCS-FIZZ Photo: Daniel Birchinall
SPOTLIGHT ON...
RAGING HULL VISION INTERVIEWS
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> Slow start for York in BUCS > Late start results in disadvantage BY MICHAEL SNEDDON
VISION
S P O RT
PHIL BROWN
YORK have yet to find their stride this term in the all important BUCS leagues. Wednesday’s poor results were again disappointingly epitomised by the miserable weather. With seven first teams still winless in the BUCS league after two games; this is the start that no-one had hoped for but many had expected. York have always been disad-
vantaged in BUCS. League fixtures begin in week two and this severely hinders pre-season preparations. Whereas other universities have time to pick, plan and gel. However, a slow start to BUCS is normal for York. No alarm bells should be ringing just yet, but maybe a nagging voice of “we can do better” should be heard at the back of a few captains' heads. It’s not all bad news though with a number of strong starts for first teams: - Mens’ badminton, mens’ fenc-
ing, and women’s rugby have all taken maximum points in their first three games. - A high proportion of teams progressed through the first rounds of the inaugural BUCS Cup. - Mens’ football 1sts have started brightly in the NUL. They are currently residing at the top of the table after registering impressive victories over Bradford and UCLan and holding BUCS Premier division side Leeds to a 0-0 draw. CONTINUED Page 26
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Continued on p. 25.