York Vision 204 - Scene

Inside Feb 9 - Issue 204

• Dick and Dom • Oscars & Brits • Valentines Day

"Music is made for making people happy..."

Lightspeed Champion

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Music News...

" FALL OUT BOY FALL OUT? SENSITIVE eyeliner wearing teens have been thrown into disarray by suggestions from touchy Fall Out Boy bassist and eye candy Pete Wentz that he plans to leave the group. The distressingly successful emotional rockers may have sold over 12 million albums since they first appeared on the scene

in 2001 but it seems that this may not be enough for Wentz who has stated that 'I don't know the future of Fall Out Boy'.

In a series of worryingly introspective posts on his blog Wentz described feeling "lost" and "confused" claiming that after seven years in the band a sudden loss of purpose had plunged him into "despair".

In his most recent post Wentz remains cryptic, simply saying "as far as I know Fall Out Boy is on a break."

Split rumours seem confirmed by curiously confrontational posts on the earnest bassist's twitter page that selflessly call on furious fans to "blame it all on me, 'cause I can take it.

If you only knew how I felt." Sob.

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LISTINGS

RACHEL PRONGER reveals all the latest news and gossip from the music industry

" EAVISDROPPING IT'S that time of year again. Although the festival isn't until June and the full official lineup won't be revealed until nearer the time, Glastonbury rumours are already flying thick and fast. U2 and Jack Johnson have already confirmed and other high profile acts that have been tipped include Stevie Wonder and Muse.

At a recent function, festival organiser Michael Eavis is reported to have confirmed that Muse had been

given one of the headline slots and described the appearace of Wonder as 'probable'.

Other acts that have been dropping not so subtle hints include Hot Chip, Vampire Weekend and Corinne Bailey Rae. This year's festival, the 40th anniversary, will be held at Pilton farm fron 23rd to 27th June. Tickets sold out in a single day upon their release .

" lady wa-wa

LADY GAGA, the shy retiring songstress famous for such demure ditties as Poker Face and Bad Romance, has revealed that she was so overwhelmed by dueting with Elton John that she was reduced to tears.

The two divas performed together at this years grammy awards in a spectaculer duet sat either side of a giant piano which then sprouted hands. Lady Gaga described her excitement afterwards saying, "I ru-

ined all of my make-up right before the show... I was just so happy."

The night only got better for the peroxide blonde popstar when she picked up awards for Best Electronica/Dance Album for her debut 'Fame' and Best Electronica/Dance Song for Poker Face.

" like a virgin REPORTS suggest that queen of pop Madonna's relationship with toyboy boyfriend Jesus Luz has ended because he considers her to be 'too old'.

The couple, who met on a photoshoot in 2008 soon after Madonna's eight year marriage to Guy Ritchie collapsed, have apparently

split after model Lutz, 28, shockingly decided that he had little in common with the 51 year old consumate diva.

A source told The Sun that the couple simply ran out of things to talk about, saying "how it even lasted a year seems like a miracle to a lot of people."

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This is tricky because two of the nominees are actually bands, not solo artists. Yes, that’s right, Florence has a Machine, and most of the workers in it are men (who knew?) This is the same with Bat for Lashes, but no-one really cares about her/them so it doesn’t matter. And Leona ironically made us all depressed with her song ‘Happy.’ So it has to be Lily Allen.

NOMINEES

Best British Male Solo Artist

tist

NOMINEES

NOMINEES

Bat for Lashes Florence & the Machine Leona Lewis Lily Allen

T

he Brit Awards are back, forcing us to cast our minds back to all the absolute tunes of the past year. This time they're celebrating its 30th anniversary, so Brits HQ are presenting not just the annual awards, but also gongs for Best Single and Album of the past 30 years. There will be performances from the biggest names of 2009 too, including the insane Lady Gaga (expect something ridiculous) the loveable JLS (expect something manufactured) and the moody Kasabian (expect something vaguely-alternativeplaced-amongst-the-regularpopular-crap-to-make-the-Britsseem-more-diverse.) So tune in on Feb 16th as it’s set to be the best one yet - although they do say that every time!

International Female Solo Ar Lady Gaga Ladyhawke Norah Jones Rihanna Shakira

This one must be a set up. What has Norah Jones done this year? I thought I had left her back in 2002 with my mum’s CD collection. Rihanna may have had a bad year, but it didn’t mean she had to release a shit album: every song is depressing and she looks like a cheap Gaga.

Shakira was hot in the ‘She-Wolf ’ video ( I never knew people could bend that way...) but like it or not Gaga has got this one in the bag.

t

International Male Solo Artis NOMINEES

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Best British Female Solo Artis

Calvin may have made us all ready for the weekend, but apparently he’s a bit shit live. Everyone has realised that Mika can be even more annoying second time round and Robbie won’t ever be able to get over the sheer scale of Take That’s comeback.

Paolo has had some amazing tunes that have certainly saved my flat from exam depression, but we predict that it’s Dizzee that will take it.

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and the winner is...

TOM MARLOW reveals his top tips for this year's Brit Awards

Calvin Harris Dizzee Rascal Mika Paolo Nutini Robbie Williams

GAMES

Bruce Springsteen

Eminem Jay-Z Michael Buble Seasick Steve

Jay-Z has had a great year and is the most deserving nominee. But dark horse Buble, with his strong following of middle aged mothers backing him, may steal the Brit from under his nose. Anything could happen. Seasick Steve could win. If anyone knew who he was...

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LISTINGS

TO GLEE OR NOT TO GLEE?

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s previous editor of this fine section, it was my job to remain vaguely respectable when it came to what music I gave the thumbs up to. I dread to think what would have happened if I had given Cheryl Cole 5 stars, or highlighted Girls Aloud as the greatest lyrical poets of our time. The world would have gone crazy I tell you, people would be buying awful, awful music left, right and centre, and all, all because of ME! (After a slight hysterical/egotistical breakdown, Laura returned to finish the article with a more structured perspective).

Of course, as the accolade of Music Editor no longer hangs around my neck, I am free to express some of my more embarrassing tastes in music. This has to start with the newest television sensation, Glee! And yes, I like it. I’m not saying that it’s complex or challenging by any stretch of the imagination, but there’s something quite delightful about the absolute predictability of it all.

In fact, some of it is so expected that there’s even a drinking game – drink when Rachel and Finn give each other dreamy eyes, drink when Glee club wear matching outfits or drink when a young person makes a moving speech about how we need to believe in ourselves (just these three alone would probably G have you on the floor by the ad break).

E However, I was sure that this Glee idea wasN just another over the top American tradition, but, in fact, I’m wrong. The very first Rclub was founded in London, shockingly glee asE far back as 1787, with ‘glee’ referring to a specific English song popular between 1650 and 1900, (not sure if Don’t Stop Believin’ comes under this category). The University of York even has its very own Glee Club – called the York Glee Singers - with regular concerts every term. Sadly, the kind of sassy ridiculousness of the show just isn’t reality.

This is a shame, because whilst plot wise the show is pretty poor (will there ever be an episode that doesn’t revolve around Mr Schuester grabbing a random person to be in Glee club?) the sing-a-longs are actually pretty fun. Obviously completely changing a club to suit gaggling television fans who can’t hit a note (myself not included of course) would never work, but why shouldn’t there be an Over-The-Top-Singing-And-Dancing Society to be a part of ? The recession isn’t over and our University fees are probably going to increase – why not sing and make exaggerated hand actions about it? All we need to do is believe in ourselves! Together we can be stronger! We need to follow our dreams!

Don’t stop believing! [At this point a Glee drinking game partaker died of alcohol poisoning and the article had to finish].

Laura Cress

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Albums...

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LISTINGS

Midlake Courage of Others Out Now

Corinne Baley Rae

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ike Punk in' 77, Red Wedge in the 80's and Greenday's American Idiot in the noughties, every generation, and every dominant political cause that accompanies it, has a defining musical point. For the Green generation, Midlake's The Courage of Others represents that point.

Following the understated wonder of their sophomore album, 2006's The Trials of Van Occupanther, Midlake laboured in the primitive stages of recording the follow up. Somewhere down the line the band retreated deep into the woodland, Bon Iver style, in order to slave over this wonderful deeply layered record. The final result is one of haunting and understated beauty and one that continues the purple patch enjoyed by alternative guitar music across the pond.

Perversely it is one of our own whose influence is most notable on this record, that being the relentless melancholy of Radiohead, particularly OK Computer.

On stand out track The Horn, Midlake's hypnotic guitar lines,

The Sea Out Now

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he Sea brings Leeds’ most soulful singer, Corinne Bailey Rae out of her four year hiatus since the sad and untimely death of her husband, Jason Rae. Her loss is a consistent theme within the album, which combines heart wrenching soul with the kind of modern jazzy pop peddled by the likes of KT Tunstall Whilst Bailey Rae makes pleasing sounds and has a strong voice at her disposal, something lacks in The Sea, making it feel somewhat empty in comparison to her previous offerings. The opener 'Are You Here' tentatively suggests her slow soulful songs have gained a new depth, and her Meluaesque voice and deep lyrics really portray the pain of bereavement, the layers building to an effective climax. Sadly, it is the only

ballad on the album which achieves this.

'I’d Do It All Again', 'Love’s On Its Way' and 'Diving for Hearts' are perfect examples of soft but directionless jazz. The lyrics become dull and insipid, and it feels like Bailey Rae is grasping at influences from a long lost era.

That said, Bailey Rae provides some songs with a striking glitz. 'The Blackest Lily' and 'Closer' utilise lively beats and more contemporary lyrics. You can feel Bailey Rae just enjoying her voice as she experiments more, playing around with song and synths.

The Sea is an interesting listen, sometimes outdated and often disappointingly weak, especially for a voice with such admirable potential. One could argue "yeah but, she’s doing soft songs

like, so she should be soft" (that’s the Essex in me, sorry), and this is true to some extent, but this approach just doesn’t seem to suit the album as a whole. It sometimes lacks direction.

Whilst there is a good mix of upbeat and chilled songs, which really portray the hopeful spirit Bailey Rae is trying to capture, there are parts which drag the whole album down. Some tracks just feel too outmoded and are perhaps not strong enough to pull.Corrine Bailey Rae out of her accustomed musical hiatus.

Mum will like it for the car though.

and soothing, heartbreak-tinged vocals recall the brooding menace of Paranoid Android, whilst the chanted closing refrain “Bring Down, Bring Down” , on the track of the same title, draws obvious parallels.

Yet it is the aforementioned themes that render this album a fresh and inspiring listen. On opening track 'Acts of Man', vocalist Tim Smith begs “Before the ground starts to fade, start to falter. Let me inside. Let me inside”.

Warning of the threat posed to nature by the destructive nature of the human lifestyle is a theme recurrent throughout the record and give this beautiful record a distinctive political message.

That is what makes The Courage of Others so incredibly potent, in that it marries meaning and sincerity with music of the highest quality. The first great album of 2009.

MIKE REGAN

DAN CHATFIELD

KESHA ANIMAL

lIL wAYNE

Out Now

rEBIRTH Out Now

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hankfully rap-rock died a deserved death in the early noughties but as with any lucrative commercial genre people have continued to drag its rotting and bloated corpse back into the studio. Lil Wayne’s latest release sees him taint his traditional rap formula with a myriad of riffs and beats so bland they wouldn’t even make it onto a Sugababes’ B-side.

Lil Wayne has been described as "an auto-tuned Kid Rock" though that’s somewhat debatable as not even the latter’s lyrics are quite as hackneyed or trite as anything on Rebirth. The sublime word play of Tha Carter is at best a distant memory and at worst a heart-breaking reminder of better times. Everything about the album screams bargain basement; the lack of depth is laughable as Lil Wayne rattles through 45 minutes of bizarrely emotionless angst. The record’s childish themes and poor delivery make a mockery of the self-proclaimed

T "best rapper alive."

Rebirth opens with the banal and unsophisticated ‘American Star’: “Listening to my own voice in my black Rolls Royce/ Get the girls of my choice to take off their shorts and blouses." As you can see: tragically unoriginal.

The foul aroma of superficiality continues through the equally pedestrian ‘Prom Queen’, a tale of such insipid high school trauma that would make even Busted wince. Lil Wayne seems to have taken all the worst aspects of rock and shoehorned them beneath a rather lightweight rap effort - despite the instantly forgettable track list this album will be remembered as one of the most ill-conceived and blatantly commercial ventures of the decade.

JOE MCDERMOTT

ipped as the degenerate Hannah Montana, Nashville rebel Ke$ha Sebert (note the American patriotism and rock and roll surname) hit the charts back in 2009, as a backing singer in Flo Rida’s 'Right Round'. Previous to this, the Sebert family appeared on MTV’s The Simple Life and Ke$ha herself also featured on Paris Hilton’s extremely memorable single, 'Nothing In This World'. Perhaps this trauma has something to do with the twenty two year old’s desire to present herself as an independent, brash mutineer without a cause on her debut release, Animal.

Her most successful single, 'Tik Tok', is the snakebite of pop songs: sweet, trashy and infinitely more tasty as time goes on. We all love to hate her whinging vocals, which are replicated in each of the album’s other offerings.

'Blah Blah Blah', Ke$ha’s latest release, again demonstrates her seemingly ef-

fortless ability to switch from half-singing to halftalking, and features an input from American teen punk-pop group 3OH!3.

The themes in Animal still don’t extend past ripping up bars, teasing boys with futile flirting and getting ‘crunk’ whilst avoiding any parental judgement. Ironically, the co-writer on most tracks is actually Ke$ha’s own mother, who clearly approves of her careless attitude and is perhaps even encouraging towards her daughter’s love of Mick Jagger-esque males. Sadly, Ke$ha’s attempt at a more serious Clarkson style ballad seems to flop, lacking the signature punchy, emotional chorus which other American producers are so effective in creating.

There are a few glimmers of effective rhyme in

t h i s compilation of bubblegum pop-rap, the highlights including the lyric, “don’t be a little bitch with your chit chat, just show me where your dick’s at”.

Ke$ha’s tracks scream attitude and immorality yet seem playful; the singer sits back and snaps her gum but still manages to hit us where it hurts. Annoyingly, most tracks are very catchy and are likely to succeed commercially due to Dr Luke’s successfully eclectic sounds.

Ke$ha’s desire to drink until she vomits and stay out all night long will keep listeners diverted until the end, although some very poor lyrics and laughable imagery may inhibit this album’s rise to success.

JAIME RILEY

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The second album curse

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jaime

riley

R.I.P.

Second albums that killed

careers...

The Stone Roses - Second Comi ng The Enemy - Music For The Peo ple The Darkness - One Way Ticket To Hell And Back Hard Fi - Once Upon A Time In The West The View - Which Bitch The Feeling - Join With Us

RACHEL PRONGER analyses the difficult second album... ast month it was impossible to move without being confronted by a ‘sound of 2010’ rollcall, dictating our soundtracks for the next year. For some, acclaimed debuts and sold out tours await, but many will sink without a trace. Even for the successful, it will be the second album, released without the novelty of a fresh face, that will be the true test of star quality. In the next few months some of yesteryear’s most hyped are releasing highly anticipated follow-ups that could make or break their careers. Vampire Weekend have already proved with Contra that their brand of skaindie crossover has enough depth to impress second time round. Two notable acts in the recent ‘vaguely folky troubadour’ resurgence, Laura Marling and Fionn Regan, are also releasing second attempts in the next fortnight and their first singles suggest both are embracing a change in direction, a step that makes sense creatively but risks alienating fans.

The phrase ‘Difficult Second Album’ has become handy for journalists wishing to pithily dismiss last year’s hyped without breaking a sweat. For many of the sound of 2010 nominees, their first albums will be a career peak. After teenage years spent locked in gloomy bedrooms absorbing Kate Bush (Marina and the Diamonds maybe...) and adding strangers on MySpace, suddenly these bright young things appear to

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have hit the big time. The music press heralds an era defining sound, NME wonders where you got that striking blazer from and the summer festivals beckon. But it is two years later, with every potential top ten hit squeezed out of that lovingly crafted debut album when the trouble begins. A year of touring and introspective interviews isn’t conducive to song writing. Musicians

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Some second album slumps have become so infamous that they're hard to recount without a shudder

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previously styling themselves as the voice of their generation find that a year messing about on a tour bus has left them with nothing to say.

Some second album slumps have become so infamous that they’re hard to recount without a shudder of disappointment. The Stone Roses’ eponymous debut was greeted with a wave of acclaim from critics hailing it as the sound of rave culture, but its follow up, released after years of infighting, proved a crushing anticlimax and they were swiftly overshadowed by another batch of Mancunian chancers, a modest outfit called Oasis. Fickle fans often tire of a band before they can attempt new material. The Darkness failed to replicate the success of Permission To Land, despite sticking with the ‘falsetto and spandex’ formula. For those hyped to the point of exhaustion, there is horribly far to fall. Few would describe The Strokes’ Room On Fire as an eyegouging failure, but it regularly appears in polls of disappointing follow-ups mainly because their debut, This Is It, almost singlehandedly sparked the

‘skinny jeans and guitar’ template that has become an indie cliché.

The second album stigma didn’t always exist. In the 60s and 70s, it wasn’t rare to release two albums a year and career peaks tended to emerge much later. The Beatles' seminal Revolver was their seventh release and Pet Sounds was the Beach Boys’ ninth. All the great acts of those years endured career slumps (just ask Bob Dylan what he was doing in the 80s) but the momentum allowed these artists to coast through their weaker moments.

This evidence makes our insatiable appetite for the new rather worrying. What if we are discarding talent that might only emerge five albums down the line?

For those whose debuts receive a cooler response, the second album seems less of a hurdle. Both Nirvana’s Nevermind and (What’s The Story) Morning Glory by Oasis were second albums that eclipsed their predecessors. The Horrors proved to be more than just cut-out Goths last year when Primary Colours found its way onto the Mercury Shortlist. And there are always those who embrace hype as a challenge. Arctic Monkeys made the daunting feat of following the fastest selling British debut ever

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What if we are discarding talent that might only emerge five albums down the line?

reviews this week's...

SINGLES Jedward Under Pressure Out 15th Feb

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f I’d been told a year ago that two small, blonde, red-leather-wearing, cocky Irish idiots with ridiculous hair dos would be topping the charts with a Queen cover, I wouldn’t have wanted to believe it. But here we are in February 2010, with a more technologically advanced music industry than ever before, with just that. The wittily named Jedward, yet another act jumping on the X Factor bandwagon in hope of fifteen minutes of fame, have well and truly murdered this Queen classic, making it sickly sweet with a side helping of Alphabeat cheese. They rap worse than Robbie Williams and fail to realise that they really aren’t rebels despite what Louis Walsh has told them. Just, don’t buy this. Not even ironically.

Muse Resistance Out 22nd Feb

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fter smashing Wembley and scheduling new dates for 2010, Muse bring us "Resistance", their third single from the similarly titled album, The Resistance. It sounds fantastic, with arrogant vocals, atmospheric synths, distorted bass, and of course Bellamy’s Kaoss pad delays. The chorus is about as euphoric as Muse ‘do’; if you saw it live you’d want to raise your arms and sing along despite it’s far from uplifting lyrics. Resistance is less Doctor Who than their last single but still boasts Dom Howard’s perfected floor-tom groove which we’ve all grown to love.

However, as with all Muse songs, if you don’t get it, then you just don’t get it, but it’s another good offering from the Devonshire alternative rockers.

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look almost easy with the unapologetic Favourite Worst Nightmare that offered more of the same without looking like a tribute act.

So does the second album slump exist at all? Or is it just an excuse from musicians disappointed by the sudden loss of glory? For last year’s most hyped the evidence is inconclusive. We’ll have to wait for the followups from the Florences and La Rouxs of 2009 before we can get clues as to the fate of the Ellie Gouldings and Delphics of 2010.

Lemar The Way Love Goes Out 14th Feb

H

e came a mere third place in Fame Academy back in 2002, but Lemar’s still going eight years later (after winning two Brits, two Mobos and selling over 1.5 million albums).

His latest offering "The Way Love Goes", taken from his first compilation album The Hits, is a pretty standard pop/dance single, fusing classic piano with wide, airy synths and keys. Lemar pines that he can’t dance because the beat’s just slow, and that’s ironically true of this mid-pace dance track that doesn’t really fit into the chilled or party bracket. It’s pretty average, inoffensive and is released on Valentine’s Day – commercialism at its finest.

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Lives...

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Ziggys, York 23/01/10

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Leeds 02 Academy 26/01/10

WAX ON

band in his ‘heavy metal attire’ - read very tight leather trousers minus certain elements and black wig so high it would make Amy Winehouse proud. Cue even more entertaining prancing by the band.

However Reel Big Fish are infinitely more than a set of comedians with instruments; they are also all immensely talented. Frontman Aaron Barrett plays his guitar behind his head at some points, there probably isn’t an instrument that Scott Klopfenstein hasn’t played, and the rest of the band are spot-on throughout. Towards the end of the gig, when you have reached the stage of doubting that the band could pull anything else out of the bag, along

Leeds Student Union

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s soon as we entered Stylus room of the Union, Filthy Dukes’ synth lead electro beats immediately drew us bopping to the front of the crowd. Their renowned remixes were similar to the 2 many DJs style, constantly teasing us with the famous beats of songs such as the 1980s classic Funkytown, before dropping into the main tune.

They continued their eclectic set with this infectiously catchy mix of nostalgic electro while carefully slipping in their own hit records such as 'This Rhythm' to ensure an unfailing originality throughout.

Up in the Pulse room the renowned dupstep DJs Caspa and Joker took centre stage. While Joker impressed the crowd with his bass heavy and intrinsically melodic remix of Major Lazer and Simian Mobile Disco’s 'Cruel Intentions', Caspa’s set was far

LISTINGS

Herbal Mafia 4th BIRTHDAY

REEL BIG FISH ew bands could live up to coming on stage to the Superman theme. Reel Big Fish is undeniably one of them. With unremitting infectious energy, the band lark their way around the stage throughout the gig. There’s a fair amount of coordination of the swaying of their instruments and/ or leg movements, plenty of banter, and every song makes you keep on dancing. This is ska punk at its most ludicrously entertaining.

The gig featured quite a few tracks from their most recent studio album of assorted covers - Fame, Fortune, and Fornication - along with some of their own original material. Reel Big Fish don’t do slow numbers, from beginning to end it’s upbeat and fast. The evening entered the realm of the truly bizarre when Brian Klemm (as seen on the cover of their last album) joined the

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more predictable. Instead of carefully crafting a fluid mix of songs, the 26 year old London DJ seemed to perform a dubstep-by-numbers routine, with hardly any remixes smoothing over the cracks of separate songs. Apart from his classic remix of Rusko’s 'Cockney Thug', he pumped the crowd with

came the drum solo. It brought the entire audience to a standstill. It was simply amazing.

Reel Big Fish put on a show that no-one can forget in a hurry.

Whatever expectations people went with, they were trounced by music played with incessant enthusiasm.

They’ll make you forget tortured indie rock and embrace happiness, entertainment and fun.

ver the years, Herbal Mafia have been responsible for bringing some of the biggest names in drum&bass and dubstep to York, including Hazard, Benga, Mampi Swift and Foreign Beggars. So it was no surprise that for their 4th Birthday night the York outfit pulled out all the stops with an impressive range of dubstep and hip-hop. The sold-out night, headlined by dubstep favourite Nero and the up and coming Bar9, attracted huge attention from a characteristically varied crowd.

Residents The Fray Bentos Collective followed by Ed1 kicked off the event with a heady mix of dark dub and grime, before Bar9's explosive midnight set, a mesmering performance of eye-wateringly heavy dubstep that was surely the highlight of the night.

KATE MISSENDEN

28/08/09 typical floor fillers such as the XX remix of Florence and the Machine.

Even Sidney Samson’s overplayed 'Riverside' had to be endured as it scorched our ears with its insistent high pitched squawk.

Luckily all was not lost as the head line act ended the night on a high. Erol Alkan demonstrated why he deserved the top spot as his energetic, trashy disco merged with hard hitting electro gave the night a new lease of life. His most memorable tracks such as his remix of Justice’s 'Waters of Nazareth' demonstrated a creative, refreshing sound that the crowds flocked to. Danceable, vigorous and surprising: his two hour set flew by and by the end of it we could all see why Alkan has been named the next Fat Boy Slim.

JENNY MCLARNEY

Nero followed up with his signature blend of dubstep, unleashing some great new material alongside his classic Deadmau5 and La Roux remixes, although surprisingly leaving out his now iconic mix of The Streets' 'Blinded

By The Lights.'

Another energetic set from the FBC, with Yenz and Albi1 in the hiphop room, set a great vibe to the end of another memorable night from the Herbal Mafia, with one exuberant reveller declaring it "the best night of my life."

With another tantalising line-up from the guys this month with Ramadanman and Cookie Monsta, the Herbal Mafia look set to remain one of the most popular, talented and entertaining alternative outfits in York.

CATHERINE SINCLAIR-JONES

Library Tapes + Woodchucker + Ithaca Trio

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St. Margaret's of Antioch, Leeds

n the spirit of honesty, I feel I should start by saying that I'm no expert in ambient music. I've only got into the genre recently, and have never seen it performed live.

The venue of St. Margaret's of Antioch in Leeds, though, I felt fitted my imaginary mould well. As we sat on sofas soaked in ambient light, the first act, Ithaca Trio, struck up a minimalist set based around their

own brand of processed guitars and clarinets. They played with an old-school reel-to-reel tape player to create an array of otherworldly sounds and while their music wasn't especially gripping, it was innovative and impressively spontaneous.

Perhaps the strongest act of the night was Woodchucker: one man with a laptop and a couple of pedals improvising

a single constantly evolving epic. Again, the set may have washed over the audience slightly, but it was seriously relaxing and the fade-out on a sampled vinyl record of Mozart's Ave Verum Corpus was incredibly effective.

The headline act, Library Tapes, was, I'm sorry to say, a big let-down. Their rather uninspired and lazy idea of using an iPod for the backing tracks

30/01/10 felt a little exploitative; an actual string quartet may have been expensive, but would have improved their performance no end. The set was pleasant enough for the first 10 minutes, but soon began to get repetitive - if they weren't prepared to make the effort than neither would I be.

Arriving in the freezing church I had little to no clue of what I'd be listening to, or

what I'd be expected to do. In the end, I still left the gig feeling slightly disappointed, as if some previously-unformed expectations had been frustrated. Nevertheless, that the music wasn't engaging as such was possibly the intention, and the friendly, chilled out atmosphere more than made the trip worthwhile.

RICHARD BLAKE

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LIGHTSPEED CHAMPION Jim Norton speaks to singer songwriter Lightspeed Champion aka Devonte Hynes about Bad Romance, Cyndi Lauper, and his current obsession with pop.

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ady Gaga is incredible!” enthuses Lightspeed Champion down the phone. “Bad Romance is, like, the best song of the year – I can’t believe how good that song is!”

Only a few minutes into the interview and we are already discussing Lightspeed Champion's obsession with pop. “I think pop music is the best it’s been in a long while” he continues. “Music is made for making people happy. There’s no point over-analysing it; if you like something just listen and enjoy it.”

This might once have seemed a surprising statement from a former Test Icicle, the noisy indie band with distortion pedal set to full throttle, but with two albums of pure melodic magic under his belt, it is no surprise where Lightspeed Champion’s ambitions lie.

New album Life Is Sweet!

Nice To Meet You is an ambitious LP and could be considered the first classic of 2010. Lightspeed Champion, aka Devonte Hynes, has created an album overflowing with ideas, genres, and

Dev in former band Test Icicles.

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most importantly melody.

“It’s in four parts and totally over the top” explains Dev unabashedly. “I always want to get the best melody.

I think I fail a lot, but it’s what I strive for!

Dev first came under the spotlight in the midnoughties with previous band Testicicles -a noisy mashup of thrash and punk. But after a couple of years, the group split with Dev famously declaring that they never even liked their songs. Most would have resigned the band to the 'flash in the pan hyped up band for trendy hipsters' pile, and none would have foreseen what one of the band members did next.

In 2008, with little hype, Dev released an album of country tinged melodic masterpieces.

The album was critically applauded and received well in the indie community. Dev was surprised by the success, “I didn’t think anyone would hear the

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Alex Turner lives five minutes from me, we meet up all the time!

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Cyndi Lauper isn't a guilty pleasure, she's just as credible as the rest.

and moving left Dev lost and he decided to move to New York, “It just felt time to go. I hadn’t been living in London for a while and so I needed to find out where home is.”

He’s not the only one to head across the Atlantic. New York seems to have become the vogue place to relocate for an indie star of the mid-noughties wanting to distance themselves from their roots. A certain Arctic Monkey has also made the move... “Alex Turner lives five minutes from me, we meet up all the time. They also used the Brooklyn studio I recorded in when they did their sessions with James Ford.”

Fortunately, some might say, the move to the US didn’t have quite the same influence as the Arctic Monkeys third effort, Humbug – an album where Alex Turner’s lyrics changed from witty and personal to obscure and wishy-washy. “Yeah, I know what you mean,” Dev agrees, explaining his simple approach to writing lyrics. “I try not to put too much effort into it. Whether I spend five minutes or two months on a song lyrically, it’s just going to get worse! I know the point I ‘m trying to get across, so the longer I spend on it

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songs. I’ve just been doing the same stuff I’ve done for years. I sit in my bedroom and record, and then I just send it off to people to hear.“ Unsurprisingly, the reaction was to pigeonhole him as the UK’s answer to Bright Eyes. Dev chuckles when he remembers this “I found it really funny, because everyone thought that was all I did. To me it’s just one of seven albums I did in that time.

I’m constantly writing.”

Dev certainly keeps himself busy and Lightspeed Champion is just one of his many guises.

He has already recorded another album under the name Blood Orange, released a comic book, and written a collection of short stories. He is even contemplating branching into journalism. “I’ve done a load of writing in the last few years. I’m a total movie buff, I like writing movie reviews.”

The busiest man in indie-pop has accomplished a lot for a 24 year old. Yet his constant work

the worse it will get. I just try to get it out there and so as a result, the lyrics are more personal than if I sat down and really thought about it.”

This is certainly in contrast to the music, which is detailed and expertly crafted. So who influenced the album? “I’m obsessed with Serge Gainsbourg, Todd Rungden, Neil Young, and especially Cyndi Lauper. Cyndi lauper is a big, big idol of mine.

She isn’t a guilty pleasure, to me she is just as credible as the rest.”

The current music world would most probably echo his sentiments. Pop has come back with a bang and, yet again, we chat about the pop world. “I think for a while, there was a very strict formula from the mid90s to recent times. This year, I think we are getting back to people writing really good and pretty weird songs that are becoming really huge hits. But I think it’s done so slyly that people don’t really notice. It’s cool that risks in pop music are being taken again, and people are actually trying to write good songs.”

But what about the X Factor and the commercial side to pop?

“I look at things from a song point of view. My mind doesn’t think about corporations and people trying to make money people have always been trying to make money from music. I just see it in a completely musical way.”

Perhaps this is the key to Lightspeed Champion’s success.

His shameless devotion to melody and lack of pretension have helped him create an album that is pure pop, and better for it.

Dev's first cover for NME

'For Screening Purposes Only'

'Falling Off The Lavender Bridge'

'Life Is Sweet!

Nice To Meet You'

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"Every track is a vital piece in this cobbled together emotional jigsaw" - NME

"We are treated to a show of Dev’s quite sensational range and repertoire" - Virgin

"Sheer liquid mayhem!" - NME

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Regan's top 5...

Mike Regan expresses his hatred for cinema.

Giving his top 5 reasons why these increasingly commercialised dungeons are the scourge of film viewing.

5. Popcorn Never at any other time during the course of our lives, other than on visits to the cinema, will we exclaim "you know what I fancy right now? A big bucket of popcorn". That would be mental. Yet society regards this heart attack inducing snack as an essential component of the cinematic experience.

Apparently a film would be far less enjoyable without a fuckload of debris lodged in our teeth and a rotund male grazing in our ears. Also.... THE BUCKETS. Are cinema goers presumed to have the eating habits of a pot bellied pig? When eating no other food would we find it acceptable to be given a bucket to eat from. The sight is truly repulsive, sweaty trotters fingering and clawing at their food, then dropping it into their gaping, salivating mouths. Giving cinema seats an inbuilt trough seems a sensible next step.

4. The Talking It is not the Chinese who can not whisper. It is cinema goers. On most of the few occasions I have braved the cinema I have been forced to sit next to groups of people (and one time just a solitary man), who think that I have paid an extortionate price simply to listen to their inane chit chat. The most common offender is the 'hairy virgin'. This beast has no hobbies, no friends and no life, and has consequently decided to return to the cinema to see a film that they have already fucking seen. Smug at their prior knowledge they may be heard to mutter "Ooh this is the good part ", or "Watch this bit".

Oh sorry mate, I haven't come to watch the film. I was just going to drop my trousers and have a quick Tommy Tank, fancy joining in? Twats.

3. The Pissers It really is quite simple. Go for a pee before the start of the film, then at the end. And in between don't drink 6 litres of coke. The Pisser usually sees fit to vacate their seat at the key point of any film, they then brazenly wander across your line of sight, stopping for a chat and a grab at some pick n'mix, before continuing their journey as the credits begin to roll.

2. Kids Unfortunately going to the cinema is a popular family day out, because it is scientifically proven that it is more healthy for kids to sit and stuff their face with overpriced sweets than it is to do some exercise and experience nature. Consequently I have a word of warning: if you must go to the cinema, think carefully about which films will be child free, at least making your trip slightly more bearable. Children are annoying. They make too much noise, they laugh, they throw things, they fidget. They should not be allowed out of the house. Give them a book and an apple, not a gigantic bag of sugar and Daniel Radcliffe.

1. The Piracy Adverts You know the ones. They go something like this...

"Do you beat up old ladies? No. Do you download indecent images of children? No. Do you hate all ethnic minorities? No. Well then don't watch or sell a pirate DVD. PIRACY IS STEALING". It's not just that the advert is edited in order to induce a migraine, and therefore distract from the message. Mugging a penniless pensioner and keeping a few pounds out of Brad Pitt's pockets are not crimes of a comparable nature. Their hyperbole only serves to make the adverts an irritant and detract from the serious message therein.

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Ten to One - Incr e a s i n g the Odds?

Ten instead of the usual five motion pictures will vie for Best Picture this year at the Oscars Tom Martin asks ‘Why?’

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’m sorry, but I have to ask - just how important are the Oscars? Forgive me and my ignorance; I’m aware that the Academy Award is an accolade that, undeniably, is like no other. I even witnessed a small fragment of the media frenzy that followed the Academy’s announcement of its nominations this morning, even if it was from the comfort of my computer and Twitter. Still, I believe in keeping things in perspective.

The Academy’s decision to increase the number of nominees eligible for the award - from five to ten was announced for this year’s ceremony, it came as a bit of a surprise. After all, opening up the most prestigious award in the show to twice the previous number of contestants seems a little unfair to previous years’ weaker films.

Has the Oscars lost its standards?

The main contenders on all fronts this year are James Cameron’s Avatar, Katherine Bigelow’s The Hurt Locker (nine nominations each), and Quentin Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds (eight nominations), with Precious and Up in the Air coming not far behind (six nominations each). All five made the Best Picture category, so why not leave it at that?

The reason is twofold. On the one hand, the Academy has

been a little - a little, mind - more adventurous in its pickings for Best Picture this year: Pixar’s Up is the first animated film to vie for the prize since Beauty and the Beast in 1992, and (sort of) newcomer Neill Blomkamp’s District 9 pairs with Avatar as two films of that typically Oscar-defying genre: sci-fi. That said, fan favourites of the year, J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek and Todd Phillips’ The Hangover did not make the Academy’s list, although the former is up for four (admittedly menial - think sound effects, etc.) awards, whilst the latter is up for none.

Alr e a d y the A m e r i c a n gossip rags are asking if these ‘snubs’ will lower the ceremony’s TV ratings in March. Unfortunately, their playground-level remarks have an apparent solidity in the scheme of things. Indeed, the other reason for the five-to-ten increase in nominations for the Best Picture award is thought by most to be a play for higher ratings, as more ‘popular’ films get chosen alongside the critical darlings. But the truth is that the Oscars are not a nurturing home for either kind of picture.

This year, however many happy moments there are in which celebrities embar-

rass themselves or otherwise break the mould - both commonplace when accepting a major award - they will all probably mention the almighty Academy. Said Academy is actually made up of people like them, 6,000 or so to be (not very) precise. These are the guys with the power to make and break dreams, and the fact that they sometimes make and break the ones we most certainly wouldn’t is reflected by the fact that they don’t see films the same way we do. It makes sense that the viewing figures for the Oscars aren’t that high - it’s an awards show for the Hollywood players, by the Hollywood players, and, in what is (please, please, oh please dear God in heaven) the last year of Big Brother in the UK, maybe we’ve realised there’s only so much that can be gained from peeping into other people’s lives at points which don’t really concern us.

By tailoring a Hollywood event to the rest of the world, perhaps the Oscars has lost some of its significance.

Nonetheless, it’s still a trophy worth putting on your mantelpiece, and I certainly won’t turn mine down when Robert Pattinson hands it to me somewhere around 2020, but I’d say that a film doesn’t have to be good to win or even get nominated for one, and vice versa. Nevertheless, it is extremely important to me that Inglourious Basterds wins all its categories (especially in the case of Actor in a Supporting Role and Christoph Waltz) and Nine goes home with nothing.

Have you seen...?

Stardust Memories (1980)dir. Woody Allen

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ritically and commercially panned on its release, Stardust Memories is Woody Allen's most unfairly underwatched film. People must have felt they knew what to expect from Allen whose work before Stardust could be easily split into two categories: the zany slapstick comedy and the neurotic intellectual fare (the only notable exception to this rule is 1979's gloomy drama Interiors). By combining elements of both of these elements Stardust managed to alienate the majority of cinema-goers by being too weird and complex for fans of the former and, in an interesting example of life imitating art imitating life, not slap-stick silly enough for fans of the latter.

It is a wonderful film however and an unforgettable cinematic experience.

Shot in striking black and white and with a stunning jazz score, the film concerns the romantic and professional exploits of a film director and writer

named Sandy Bates (Allen). The plot is pretty minimal: Bates, who is known and loved for his comedies, tries to prevent a film studio from sticking a happy ending onto his latest depressing film, repeatedly comes into conflict with the motley crew of rabid grotesques that constitutes his fan base and attempts to maintain a successful relationship with his sweet French girlfriend (Marie Christine Barrault) all the while living in the romantic shadow of his relationship with Dorrie (Charlotte Rampling), an emotionally unstable woman who it seems was the love of Bates' life.

Allen, despite insisting this is not true, plays a thinly veiled version of himself and the character's name, Mister Bates, must surely be an acknowledgement of the self-indulgence of this. He is ably assisted by intelligent and memorable performances

by Barrault and Jessica Harper. The real standout performance of the film

is Rampling's. Her Dorrie is one of the most engaging, painful and frustrating characters in cinema and watching the relationship between her and Bates as it unfolds in a series of flashbacks is mesmerising. A jump-cut monologue in which Dorrie describes her experience after having been commited to a psychiatric hospital is particularly stunning and if this review does not make you rush out to rent the film then at least watch this scene on YouTube as it is truly magnificent (type in Charlotte Rampling in Stardust Memories).

All in all, Stardust Memories is one of the most embittered and brutal films of Allen's career (second only to 1997's Deconstructing Harry). It is also a complex, very funny and occasionally moving film with scenes and imagery that will stay with you for a very long time.

Charles Rivington

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It's Complicated

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t’s Complicated opens with a wide shot of beautiful seaside resort and it’s apparent from the word go that this is a Hollywood rom-com. The scenery is beautiful, the people are beautiful and their lives are just a little bit quirky and unfulfilled. But apparently there’s a twist. The protagonists are old.

Well, older. Meryl Streep plays Jane, a divorced mother of three in her late fifties who embarks on an affair with h e r ex-husband, played with just the right amounts of charm and sleaze by Alec

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dapted from a BBC miniseries of the same name, Edge of Darkness marks Mel Gibson’s first starring role in a feature film since he took a break from acting in 2002 in order to concentrate on directing and alcoholism.

Unfortunately, the film won’t be remembered as one of acting’s all time greatest comebacks. To be frank, Edge of Darkness will be lucky if it’s remembered at all.

When broken down into its constituent pieces Edge of Darkness appears to be a guaranteed success. The intriguing plot is there; several big name stars are on board and the source material, a well loved BBC miniseries of the same name, was hailed as a fantastically innovative masterpiece when it first came

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his is a family matter!" bellows Jake Gyllenhall’s character, Tommy Cahill in Brothers, and indeed, as a family film, this offering from director Jim Sheridan performs very well. Brothers is one of those films released last year in the States that will inevitably slip under the radar sooner or later all the more reason to go out and watch it before it does. The main reason for this is that, despite its focus on the domestic side of war-time drama, there’s just a bit too much time spent with Tobey Maguire’s character, Sam Cahill in Iraq. These scenes draw uneasy parallels with the far more successful The Hurt Locker, and you can’t help but feel that the performance of Natalie Portman, who plays his wife back home, would be much more easily appreciated if it weren’t sandwiched between scenes of her husband’s harrowing experience. When Sam comes home from the war, Tobey Maguire gives a spirited performance as the trauma of his time there becomes more and more apparent. But it’s difficult to relate to the characters around him – his daughters, wife, parents and brother – as, unlike them, we know what he’s been through.

This removes the suspense that the last half of the film desperately needs to be a cut above the rest. Another problem is the kiss between Sam’s wife and brother half-way through the film – the

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dir. Nancy Meyers

Baldwin. Comic mishaps and self-discovery ensues.

Streep plays ditzy-but-lovable very well, but there’s something a little lacking in the film. Don’t get me wrong, it is thoroughly enjoyable and Streep’s character in particular is easy to identify with, torn between what is right and what feels right. It just seems at times to be trying too hard to prove that over-fifties can have fun too.

Yes, I realise that life doesn’t end at forty. It just seems a little juvenile, especially considering that the children of the couple in the film are portrayed with more maturity than the parents, who sneak around behind their backs.

It’s trying to be cool and appeal to the young, which it out in 1985.

However, at some point along the way something went wrong and instead of the ingredients combining into a beautiful, fresh gateau of a film they created a stale and uninspired lump of dough which isn’t nearly as enjoyable as it sounded on paper.

Baking metaphors aside, the main problem with the film is its lack of focus. The plot is stranded somewhere between political thriller, mystery drama and a one-man-revenge saga. This confusion, probably caused by the attempt to condense a six hour miniseries into a two hour film, results in potentially interesting revelations frequently being cast aside, with several of the film’s most innovative and interesting conceits only being mentioned in one line of dialogue and then being forgotten about entirely.

The lead performances are solid enough but are held back by predictable character arcs; no character ever convincingly manages to break free of their genre stereotype. The only character who begins to approach interesting is the 'CIA agent going through a philosophical crisis', played by Ray Winstone, although even this can’t really be called original.

relationship between them is one of intimacy and a quiet, unspoken love. Trying to make it physical within the confinement of the story felt forced and totally unnecessary, and indeed, it really doesn’t contribute nearly as much as it should to the plot.

However, the films comments on war and America are quiet, and appreciably unbiased.

Sam Shepard plays a wellwritten character that strays just far enough from the cliche of the war veteran/grumpy-pants father he could so easily have been.

Real kudos belongs to Bailee Madison for her excellent performance as Sam’s daughter, Isabelle, who begins to react to her father’s madness with a similar ferocity more typical of children at that age. Brothers is a solid, decent attempt at tracking a family damaged by war, but, unfortunately, nothing further than that.

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doesn’t need to do, as it’s a film which deals primarily with a long and complicated relationship, in essence, grown-up stuff. But other than this, the film has a lot to offer, including a really endearing performance by Steve Martin as an architect and quite a few laugh out loud moments.

So for a fun film which doesn’t make you think too hard, and actually has quite a lot of heart, It’s Complicated is worth a check out, if only for a non-complicated two hours of mature romantic comedy.

Sairah Rehman

Dir. Martin Campbell Gibson himself gives a mediocre, by-the-book performance which, instead of carrying the film to exciting new heights, leaves the audience bored and counting down the minutes until the end of the film.

In short, the film’s plot misses the mark regardless of what it appears to be shooting for and apart from one of two interesting performances there isn’t anything to be seen that’s worth shelling out the price of a cinema ticket for.

Tom McDermott

Dir. Jim Sheridan

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DEAR TV....

biteback

Haven't watched the box?

We waste the time for you.

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t’s pilot season in America, which means those writers fortunate enough to get their script picked up will spend the next few months in limbo, waiting to hear whether their pilot was considered worth the financial risk of a full series commission.

So far the four major American networks have picked up 36 drama pilots and 33 comedy pilots. Two groups: one with writers hoping to wow audiences with an exciting, character driven, basicallya-rip-off-of-LOST plot, another with writers hoping to slip their cookie cutter story-lines unassumingly into the sitcom market. Yet among these undoubtedly highly diverse scripts, you can count on the presence of one thing, the holy grail every writer aspires to: mass demographic appeal.

The inclusion of minority characters is praiseworthy, but some series give the distinct impression that certain characters are only there to prevent accusations of discrimination and to appeal to as large a demographic as possible. Such token casting at best inspires cynical eye rolling and at worst can end up insulting the very people it was hoping to include.

‘Glee’ is a show which embraces token casting with open arms, something which is to be expected given it’s satirical nature. Of the 12 kids in glee club, 10 are in some way a minority. A particularly tongue-in-cheek moment in an upcoming episode has psychotic gym coach Sue divide the Glee club into two groups, resulting in her calling on, “Wheels! Gay Kid! Asian! Other Asian!”.

And this is not a phenomenon isolated to the US. England is just as guilty, with ‘Skins’ being a particular repeat offender: Ethnic minority? Check. Religious minority? Check. Homosexual? Check, check.

Inclusion is excellent. Inclusion for inclusion's sake can result in tired clichés and offensive stereotypes.

Teja Pisk

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Dear TV, You are lovely. You really are. But just like a relationship you do have a some minor inperfections that we need to improve. For example, taking too much of the bedsheets. Going to the toilet with the door open. Your face. So this Valentines let's do some ''constructive criticism'' of how you can tweak the tweakable and sort out the clutter. Oh and don't leave me TV. I'm paying you.

1. Desperate Housewives. It used to be epic. The premise was brilliant: perfect women who pretended to live in a perfect lifestyle apart from the fact that all had perfect lives but tried to give the impression that everything is perfect. But then each series started to get rather samey.

Each series would always start with a creepy neighbour moving into the street with a dark past or who had awkward mannerisms. The show then plods along, each episode giving a subtle hint that something utterly STUNNING is about to happen, but never actually came to fruition. All you get is 23 weeks of awkward facial expressions by these neighbours or by the housewives to these neighbours as well as long dramatic orchestral crashes while these neighbours innocently take out the trash. I think they need to spice up the show a little bit. Option one.

Merge it with another American show that is also getting tired, like 24! I would certainly watch an episode where Jack Bauer has to race across LA yelling at Chloe down the phone, in order to get to Bree Van Dee Kamp's house before her nuclear activated soufflé explodes.

Option two. Put all the characters on crystal meth.

2. BBC Weather - I don't have that many qualms about the weather. It's alright now that it is all in 3D CGI zoomy zoomy on the BBC. The only problem that arises is when they deliver the weather.. For example, the presenter starts the forecast on the map and your eye immediately glances at the area of dark beige that you think you live in in the country.

No rain for us! Yay! What about tomorrow now? It ignores you. The screen just zooms into another area of the country. Oh.. it's going to be sunny in Northern England. Let's move on now to tomorrow's forecast c'mon. Wait... no. You're zoom-

ing into East England. I don't care about Hull! OH GOD. Stop. Give me the five day forecast. Let's move on! I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE WEATHER IN THE EAST MIDLANDS. LEAVE ME ALONE YOU BITCH! 3. I bet you thought that it would be really funny to commision Live From Studio Five on Channel Five. You must have joked. You must have thought that it would have been a right old LARF to keep this hum drum bunion news show which is presented by Melinda Messenger and Ian Wright on for so long without it being laughed out of production. But now the booze cupboard is empty, the emotional girl is crying in the corner, and that casserole dish you placed underneath the toilet to stop it from leaking into the kitchen below has overflowed, now dripping into the ground floor light sockets.

Please stop. It's nearly sunlight and the milkman is worried.

4. Those shows that makes it seem like you are actually just popping round to their house for a cuppa, but it isn't their house or front living room because all of the sets are fake. No wait... this isn't banal this gets me angry. If you are ever up on Sunday morning you might totter along and see some funtime domestic politics on The Andrew Marr Show or that Tim Lovejoy thing on BBC Two. It's Sunday. The titles roll and you see the presenter enter the studio decorated with some comfy sofas, some tables, bookshelves, a vase with some flowers in, some papers left

to the side and even sometimes, a cafetiere by the window. It is made to feel like you are 'part of the gang', a 'family friend' who has come round for a bit of gossip and the lark. But wait... no-one lives there. No-one will ever read that book or drink that cup of coffee. I bet someone is employed to tweak up that shit. This is a cataclysmic issue, not to us necessary but certainly to the those who make the show. Once I was a prize winner on a kids show and I was able to visit a kids TV studio in London. When I arrived I was informed that this studio contained a seating area, a kitchen and even a toilet. However, the kitchen didn't have a working hob and the toliet isn't linked up to any piping. This had some bad consequences, as a young child who visited the show the week before, decided quite innocently, to use the loo along with the ''well placed toilet paper'' before it came to air. WHAT I HAVE TO SAY IS WHAT MUST BBC ONE THINK OF THE CLEANERS? 5. Deal or No Deal. It just isn't exciting anymore. The first 4 episodes were. £250,000. 22 boxes. One question. It can go anywhere. But once that Laura girl won the top prize it started to go a little bit downhill. The excitement has diminished. We've seen one person win the £250k. We've seen the one where the contestant wins 1p. So what way can we make a show viewable every single day?

BRING ON THE FREAKS! Bring on the heart felt stories. The photos, the bad paper mache mug that your 3 year old made which sadly looks like some form of contraception. What is even more annoying is that Noel has a long, long conversation with the banker on the phone every time. ''Hello banker... how are you............'' WE CAN'T HEAR HIM NOEL EDMONDS! 6. Glee. Quickly, before you hand in the keys and slam the door on my face, can I suggest some changes to this show a wee tad more exciting. First suggestion. Nothing will be more exciting watching Channel 4 at 5.30 with my mug off tea whilst your cast perform 'Smack My Bitch Up'. SLAM! Hello..... hello...... TV?..............TV?!

Love,

scott bryan

The Screen Grabs by Nicola chapman

What a surprise. No, Rian, no one will 'take you out'.

New Rovers Return barmaid announced.

Clearly, times are proving pretty hard for Gary Lucy.

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Torchlight (PC)

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Dungeons & Downloads: Taking a look at Digital Distribution and an old-school game imagined for new audiences...

uying video games in ordinary shops is so last year.

These days, it's all about Digital Distribution. What's that? Well, it's gaming combined with shopping on the internet. But unlike Amazon and Ebay, once you've paid for your game, you download it straight to your computer; no packaging, no fuss. It's not only very convenient, but it means that games that might not survive in your local GAME store stand a chance of being played. This issue's game, Torchlight, is available only through Digital Distribution, so at a glance it looked like it was going to be a game aimed at only the fanatics, but it's managed to prove itself as something more.

Produced by the surprisingly tiny development team Runic Games, Torchlight is an action RPG, where you select between the burly Destroyer, the femme-fatale Vanquisher, and the magic wielding (and slightly geeky looking) Alchemist; head to the titular town of Torchlight - which just so happens to have a mine

infested with evil sorcerors and agressive monsters - and make your fame and fortune exploring dungeons and giving giant spiders a good beating.

Lord of the Rings it ain't, but it's refreshing to have a game that shirks a clichĂŠ story for some old-fashioned fisticuffs 'n' fireballs.

Indeed, there are many elements of the game that channel fantasy adventure games of yesteryear; anyone who's played the Diablo games will feel more than at home here. But so as not to alienate those who weren't part of the PC gaming circuit back then (which includes me!), Runic has taken lengths to make sure anyone can play.

This means that the game has 4 different difficulty levels; and although the gameplay is the same in all of them - controlling both movement and attacking with the mouse, you let loose brutal attacks and dodge retaliation in a flurry of clicking. The game is considerably more lenient on the easier settings, so much so that anyone familiar with this type of game will most likely have a better time by starting out immediately on the Hard setting.

The game is of a decent length, and the crunchy sound effects and comic book-style graphics make for a very satisfying playing experience, but with only 3 playable characters to choose from and no multiplayer mode, there's a danger of not having enough content to keep you playing. But that's where the solid (and still

growing) online community comes in. Runic has a program available for download that lets people make their own content. Now, more dungeons, more quests, and more characters to try out are only a few clicks away.

A real treat for fans of the genre and a gentle introduction to those new to it; couple that with a very modest ÂŁ15 price tag, it's well worth giving it a try.

(Torchlight can be downloaded from the Runic Games website - http://www.runicgames.com, and is also available on STEAM : http://store.steampowered.com)

Get Connected...

Get your fix for more Gaming info at: www.yorkvision. co.uk/scene-games

Homemade Gaming: An Intro to 'Indie Devs' Nathan Blades has an exclusive interview with independent developer Tyvon Thomas, founder of the game making community, PixelxCore Independent Gaming.

So, what is 'Indie Gaming'?

Independant (or 'indie') gaming is the creation of video games in small, simple groups. Indie games are a good stepping stone into getting into major game developing and becoming official.These games are very low-budget, sometimes costing absolutely no money to develop at all!

Many gamers dream of making their own game someday. Were you the same?

I've honestly been interested in making my own video games for about as long as I can remember, really, ever since I got my hands on a Super Nintendo. It influenced me to get into art and the entire idea of creating my own video games. I was never really a big programming buff, I've always been interested in matching the popular 2D games that you see today. I'd have to say the one thing that made me actually pursue indie gaming as a career, however, was knowing a couple of people already in the business and talking with them about getting started. Shane Gill and Luc Bernard of another small developer, Oyaji Games, helped me get started, and now I'm the animator for Steam Pirates, one of their recent projects.

What other projects have they worked on?

The Oyaji Games team has worked on the game Eternity's Child (which unfortunately ended up flopping), and Mecho Wars, which has been a much greater success in its 6-9 months of life. Mecho Wars is on the iPhone right now, and they are working on Wii and PSP downloadable versions of it too.

Downloadable games have been very popular in the last two years. How do you think it will affect indie developers?

Honestly, downloadable games are probably the number-one reason that indie gaming is so popular now. It's much more convenient than going to the store and picking up a hard copy, and you'll never run out of stock. There's no shipping cost for the producer, since it can be easily acquired just by a simple download. Of course, it's not without flaws; nothing on the internet is immune to piracy; it's really hard to control and regulate. Large games can be hampered by long download times, but that's a minor inconvenience at most- unless you're still using dial-up or something!

A lot of indie games like to embrace 'retro' elements, but at the same time, games that attract more casual audiences are popular too. Where do you stand?

I like taking influences from "retro" games, while adding elements that would be considered more up-to-date. I think that most 2D games are already a bit retro, since most major developers are sticking to 3D. I think indie developing is a great way to keep the "art" of 2D video games alive. They just have their own feel that 3D games just don't match.

Where do you think you'll be in one year's time?

I'd like to have at least 2 or 3 games created and completed. Hopefully around that time I'll have started making a bigger name for myself, PixelxCore will hopefully be more known around the internet, and I'd like to actually become an 'official' developer so I'd be able to get my games on WiiWare and PlayStation Network without needing an outside developer. I've got a lot of big plans that are gonna take a lot of effort, determination, and a strong community in order to accomplish!

(Follow Tyvon and his projects at www.pixelxcore.net)

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BYE BYE BORDERS

Alexander J. Allison examines the hard hit literature has taken with the loss of a favourite bookstore

Bookselling Chain of the Year 2005 & 2006 Magazine Destination Retailer of the Year 2007 Chain Bookselling Company of the Year 2006 & 2007 Bookseller Retail Awards Hachette Children's Retailer of the Year 2007 Usborne Children's Bookseller of the Year 2008

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he recession conjured hyperbole through the media in avalanche like tides. News swayed under the weight of economic ignorance as sweeping assertions and broad predictions caused dismay and panic amongst a confused public.Very rarely were specific impacts considered. The minutiae were seen to detract from a sensationalist story, making it seem too scientific and factual, even though it actually was.

For most then, the collapse of Borders was a tragic side note to the crux of the story, but for lovers of literature, the collapse will be felt more deeply than one might have assumed. Borders carried all the standard stock one would hope for, but it also promoted literary magazines, where it was often the sole supplier of

Review

Melville House 2009 - ÂŁ8.99 [ÂŁ5.40 on Amazon]

small press publications.

These magazines are the breeding ground for raw literary talent. Without a supplier, they can no longer be published, thus eliminating new genius from flourishing professionally. True, the media age can always rely on the back up of Internet devoted media, but the authenticity of publication in a professional chapbook, folio or magazine is what will always draw the attention of those who can spot what they're looking for.

The loss to the reader is just as great. When certain, old guard magazines have a monopoly over the finest talent, then they control the evolution of art. Dedicated magazines allowed for eclectic styles to be nurtured.

Variety within literature is what keeps it fresh and

modern.

Borders also gave over a thousand venues for an author to tour their work upon publication. It is public appearances that build up cults and following. Without one, it is almost impossible for a writer to achieve mainstream success.

York's independent bookstores may well benefit from increased trade with the market leader now off its throne, but this should be of little concern to the economists amongst us. Those passionate about literature know that conservative values and quaint loyalties should always be overturned by our responsibility to encourage diversity. Borders was a multi-national force for this, and therefore, for good.

Shoplifting from American Apparel

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he mark of a modern literary phenomenon is often its ability to cause controversy. The liberal ethic of 'anything goes' has been taken to heart so comprehensively, that shock value is a rare commodity.

Tao Lin's capacity to achieve this through the medium of ordinariness could perhaps be what makes him so exceptional. Shoplifting from American Apparel is a humorous, yet deadly serious enquiry into banality and the sheer tedium of existence. The central character, Sam, causes problems for himself for no apparent reasons, then speaks of it in simple terms, "Outside the courthouse he called the organic vegan restaurant where he worked and said he would be an hour and a half late. He went to his apartment. He showered and emailed Robert. He drank two glasses of water."

Time slips between the paragraphs of the novella. Sam's relationships elapse from word to word in delicate melancholy, yet there is no eroticism in his gallantry. Each interaction seems more like a process taking place than a real engagement.There are

two shoplifting episodes, resulting in community service and a jail spell where a fellow inmate ubiquitously declares, "You don't want to fuck with a man who is smarter than Einstein."

Shoplifting from American Apparel is part of a series named 'The Art of the Novella', published

by Melville House last year. This, now Lin's fifth book, has further propelled his name onto a mainstream platform, having thoroughly established himself as the prodigal son of postmodern poetry via his position as Editor-inChief on 3am Magazine. The cult of personality surrounding Lin illuminates his writing, since the unabashed feeling one gets from his prose is this is a troubled man with a desperate desire for attention. The skill of the elemental prose is how Lin lets Sam remain so endearing. Nothing begins and nothing ends in the novella.

It commits to being a series of events so obstinant in their plainness, that the reader is left in a disillusioned disquiet. What has been experienced and why is it so profound?

There is a real maturity in

Lins's manipulation of convention, all the more baffling for the reader in the knowledge that he is a tender 26 years of age. Shoplifting has now been bought up by Urban Outfitters for nationwide distribution across over 150 stores.

The transience of the emotions Lin expresses seem to capture the essence of a generation caught in a nomenclature of sound bites.

Appropriately then, various sections of the novella are set within instant messenger conversations.

Lin's writing does not condemn, judge or seek to ameliorate the situations that Sam floats through, he asks that of us. By demanding we impose our own standards upon Sam, Lin spits upon the limits of liberal toleration in literature. This is uncharted ground as far as a bildungsroman is concerned. It is also a step in the right direction.

Alexander J. Allison

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Take Five: Romance

Dreading Valentines Day? Run yourself a hot bath, buy yourself a box of chocolates and curl up with one of these classic romances...

Twilight by Stephanie Meyer (ATOM, RRP £6.99)

Love it or hate it, Twilight seems to be everywhere at the moment.

Teenaged Bella Swan has recently moved to the small town of Forks, where she becomes fascinated by the mysterious Cullen family- in particular, Edward. The novel tells the story of their burgeoning romance, in particular the problems created by the fact that Edward is a vampire.

It’s a fast-paced, easy read and I finished it in a single afternoon.

The mystery surrounding the Cullens is wonderfully conveyed, as is the excitement of their early relationship.

Meyer’s interpretation of vampire mythology is unique and interest-

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte (Penguin Popular Classics, RRP £2.00)

ing, and werewolves make an appearance too.

The story is told in first person from Bella’s point of view, so you get to see events unfold exactly as she sees them. It has to be said, though, that Bella isn’t exactly the most compelling of narrators. She seems to think of little else but Edward, and her constant descriptions of his gorgeous looks and pale skin can become a little tiresome after a while. I don’t think that Twilight quite lives up to the hype currently surrounding it, but if you enjoy fantasy and romance and want an easy way to while away an afternoon then it’s definitely worth a read.

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Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (Penguin Popular Classics, RRP £2.00) It’s a classic story: boy meets girl, boy acts like an idiot, girl hates boy until the eventual reconciliation and happy ending. But there are several things that lift Pride and Prejudice above cliché to make it stand out as a truly brilliant novel.

Firstly, there are the characters, most of whom would fit easily into today’s world.

Austen delights in creating caricatures to provide comedy: for example Mrs Bennet, a mother who thinks of little other than marrying off her daughters to whoever she can, or the pompous Mr Collins.

Most important, however, are the two lead characters. Elizabeth is a wonderfully modern heroine: witty, independent, and determined not to marry unless she is entirely happy with the man who proposes to her. Darcy is the perfect

romantic hero: handsome and intelligent but aloof- until he proposes to Elizabeth in such a beautifully eloquent way that it’s difficult for any reader to not fall in love with him.

Also important is Austen’s writing style, which lacks description but makes up for it with social observations and wit. This is perfectly demonstrated in the famous opening line, one of the best of all time: “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife”, but the same tone is kept up throughout.

All in all, this is a novel which has certainly stood the test of time, and although it is approaching it’s 200th birthday it remains as fresh and entertaining as ever.

Bridget Jones Diary by Helen Fielding (Pan Macmilla, RRP £7.99) Beginning life as a newspaper column in the Independent and now also a brilliant film, Bridget Jones’s Diary documents a year in the life of a hopeless, yet somehow endearingly typical, woman.

Bridget continually struggles to achieve selfimprovement by becoming thinner, prettier and giving up smoking- and fails miserably (throughout the year she loses 72 pounds, but gains 74). She also finds love in the form of the rich, aloof Mark Darcy- but not without numerous and hilarious complications, including a relationship with her charming but completely unsuitable boss.

As the title suggests, the book is written in diary format. Fielding

does this brilliantly: managing to simultaneously tell the story in an engaging way and vividly convey Bridget’s character, whilst at the same time sounding convincingly like a diary someone might actually write (a surprisingly difficult thing to do). Entries also include Bridget’s calorie and cigarette intake for the day and other amusing details, such as Bridget’s brief smoothie infatuation.

At times excrutiating but always fast-paced and entertaining, I would wholeheartedly recommend Bridget Jones’s Diary to anyone, especially if you enjoyed the movie.

Mills and Boon- Various Authors It would be impossible to write any kind of article about romance novels without at least mentioning Mills and Boon. Apparently read by four in ten women, and with one sold every two seconds, they remain one of the most recognised brands in publishing- despite the fact that I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who will admit to reading them.

Each of these books offers a shot of pure escapism without any literary pretensions.

The writing and plotting is fast paced and the books are incredibly short, easily small enough to fit into a

handbag. The men are always rich and handsome and the women are beautiful- as even the briefest of glances at the covers of recent titles will tell you, since each features a male model with the kind of muscle tone that makes you wonder if he could really have time for a girlfriend alongside his workout regime. Mill’s and Boon, I think, are the cheap vodka of romance novels: an easy and inexpensive way to get a fix of straight romance, unmarred by the complications of complex character development or deeper subplots.

By Caitlin Porter

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Tiger Tiger, Burning Bright...

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Marjya Morrison scours the continents to bring you celebrations from afar

lthough the fireworks of New Year have long since fizzled out and the champagne has long since been finished, do not despair - our Chinese counterparts bring us reason to resurrect the celebrations! This year, the 14th of February won't just mean red hearts and dinner dates, but more to the point, red dragons and the traditional red money bags, as Chinese New Year gets well under way!

This year marks the beginning of the year of the Tiger know formally by the snappy title Geng Yin. A little fact you may or may not have known is that the Chinese calendar predates the international calendar, which is based on the Gregorian calendar.

Therefore, rather mind bogglingly, this means that the Chinese calendar dates back to about the year 2600 BC. Depending on where you get the information from, this new year is either the 4708th or 4709th year. I'm sure that after so many years I too would have lost count, so I shan't blame the Chinese dynasty too much!

So what happens during Chinese New Year?

How do our Asian counterparts celebrate their historical occasion?

On the grand scale of things the cities play host to many of their trademark

My Cynical Romance?

As the 14th of February creeps closer, Maryja Morrison delves into the question of Courtship.

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iving in the 20th century, you'll be excused for not recognising the word as being present in the good old dictionary, but be reassured it is sure enough there among the more familiar words of girlfriend and boyfriend. Some say courtship is dead, some say it is confined to the dusty pages of Austin novels, and some say it is a word to describe the old way of doing things. But is it any of the above? I doubt women these days are seeking men who are very much different to the characters so regularly associated with courting - Mr Darcy, Mr Knightly or Colonel Christopher Brandon. Character-wise, all are what we would like any future husband/wife to be like: constant, loyal, with a strong character, madly loving, reserved yet deep, honest, dashing, kind hearted and genuine.

So if these literary characters managed to instil a sense of courtship into their relationships and if the females of this genera-

parades with amazing colours and costumes.

If this seems right up your street then head to Liverpool where their Chinese New Year celebrations start on February 21st. As the city waves goodbye to the year of the Ox, it does so in style with traditional performances at the Pagoda on Henry Street and Wah Sing Chinese Community Centre on Duke Street; and the Lion, Dragon and Unicorn Parade along Berry Street and Nelson Street. However if Liverpool doesn't tickle your fancy why not try Manchester? With its large Chinese community it boasts a combination of dragon dances, fireworks displays, martial arts exhibitions, and plenty of stalls and workshops. If that's not enough then make the most of the grand exodus after the main celebrations, which heads to the the nearby restaurants in Manchester's Chinatown, where you can try their special New Year's menus! For the adventurous, why not try London, where the traditional dragon and lion dances come up against modern music and dance, performed by bonafide Chinese performers from different provinces in China. You can even enjoy a display of firecrackers and fireworks in Leicester Square on the 21st of February and then head to Chinatown to feast on what the restaurants and stalls have to offer!

However, Chinese New Year is just as much about family and friends as dragon dances and parades, if not more so. In the Chinese countryside, parades are less of a frequent sight. Instead, families travel to visit distant relations, celebrating Chinese New Year with a family get-together and more often than not, a special type of cake to mark the occasion. "Sun Lin Fai Lok", the Chinese way of wishing someone a Happy New Year, can be heard resonating around houses as those who are already married have the challenge of making little money bags to give to their unmarried relations. If only this tradition of money

tion are out and looking for the very same attributes in modern-day males, what have we done with the traditional art of wooing?

It's interesting what comes of an evening talking about courtship whilst flat mates cook! Soon it became evident to me that, as opposed to the view of courtship whereby a man goes out of his way to prove to a woman that he is worthy of her affections, the average modern man no longer needs to strive for a woman's affections. Why? Have we females become less worthy over the years?

Definitely not! Instead could it be that we are not giving men anything to work at deserving? Does the modern woman give her affections away too easily? I duly turned to the fount of all knowledge, Britney Spears, for the answer! "Womaniser" makes for interesting analysis. Dressed in little over 30% of the music video, it shows a sad state of our society; as one student put it, it shows that "sex sells".

So what has this got to do with courtship? What has this got to do with finding a man worthy of us? What does it have to do with singling out an emotional gem of a marriage as opposed to a wreck of a one nighter? Unfortunately quite a lot; the sex sells approach kills the reality of good courtship characteristics, which deep down is what we're all after! When I first approached our lovely female student population with the question, "Courtship and Romance: what are they?" I got a rather monosyllabic reply, but couldn't have asked for anything better. It went a little like this: "aaaawwwwwww!"

To be honest men, the one thing that does bowl over a woman and is sure to work, is a bit of a classic romance, a bit of an effort to show her you're worth it. Give it a go - there's nothing to lose!

bag giving (also known as "Lai See") took off in England!

In preparation for the celebrations, Chinese people also usually give their house a thorough spring clean (funnily enough Chinese New Year is also often referred to as Spring Festival, no doubt in reference to the seasonal changes, rather than the cleaning which takes place), denoting the way in which they aim to drive out the evil spirits of one year and start afresh for the next. Being the multicultural society that we are brings a whole host of bonuses, least of all the opportunity to make the most of other cultures' celebrations! So be it in London, Manchester, Liverpool or York, make the most of Chinese New Year. You may only have a Chinese takeaway instead of the special cake, but cake or no cake, now that Chinese New Year is almost upon us, there's one big excuse to celebrate!

Contact the following socities for future events cssa@yusu.orgsingapore@yusu.org malaysian@yusu.org hongkongsociety@yusu.org taiwanese@yusu.org * London: Trafalgar Square, Leicester Square and Chinatown on Sunday 21st February. Cost: Free. Time: Midday onwards. * Liverpool:Chinatown, Berry St and Nelson St L1. 15 minutes from Central Railway station. 21s February.

Cost: Free. Time: 11:00am. * Manchester: 14th February: Chinatown and Albert Square. Time:11:00 - 19:00. Cost: Free. Look out for Dragon and Lion Dances, Kung Fu demonstrations, performances from Shaolin monks, acrobatics, art workshops for children, and the money god giving away lucky red packets!

A Whitty Tale Maryja Morrison dons her stockings for Dick Whittington, a panto not suitable for "southern softies"...

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riday evening saw me revert back to my childish roots with shrieks of laughter and boos-n-hisses courtesy of PantSoc, who produced a memorably York-ish version of the beloved children's tale, Dick Whittington. The play was the brainchild of a few witty student writers and producers and ran for 3 nights, gaining a collective audience of around 150 a night. Telling the tale of a young lad from Yorkshire (played

by Tom Crowley) who is led to believe he is adopted and so leaves Yorkshire for London to seek his fortune (oh yes, and his family) the play led us over the Yorkshire dales, through the back streets of London, in and out of brothels and eventually to the crazily familiar grounds of The Willow.

Other witty script twists included the addition of well-known characters such as Moriarty, Dr Jekyll (who of course brought Hyde), Mrs Lovett, Sweeney Todd and Jack the Ripper. This bunch of miscreants, headed off by Lord Byron Von Vanning (humorously played by Tyler), demonstrated the extent to which pantomime should be ruled by spontaneity and sharpness of wit. When the audience laugh at mere facial expressions, you can be sure the actors are good! Historically the art of pantomime is to make both children and parents laugh by employing the use of massive innuendos that would sail over the heads of the little ones present. This production was no exception, albeit with the lack of little ones! With a name like Dick Whittington, it becomes evident which direction most of the jokes are going to take (hence the inclusion of the brothel). However to my amazement the jokes that got the loudest laughs were not the overtly explicit ones but rather the softly smutty innuendos, which vaguely tended towards some kind of intellectual entertainment!

All in all, hats off to PantSoc for delivering a better show than I had anticipated. With a snappy script, classic dance numbers and excellent use of YSTV resources in the way of an entertaining little film towards the end, Dick Whittington made good comedy and a barrelful of laughs!

Anyone interested in joining PantSoc email pantsoc@yusu.org for further information.

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FROM RAGS TO RICHES...

With RAG week now underway Louisa McLellan looks at charity in York

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WHAT NOT TO MISS

The University of York Central Hall Musical society presents "Rent", a rock musical based in New York . A group of Bohemiams, some of whom are suffering from AIDS, take us on a rollor coaster journey of both love and loss, accompanied by some excellent music!

The show is at the end of Week 5, and tickets will be available from YourShop.

CULTURE ON CAMPUS

A BIT OF DRUM FUN

Some tips on how to get a little dose of culture without even having to step foot out of campus

Not just a Thursday night Gallery e The Norman Rea Art t h y awa en Gallery sits hidd in Langwith. If you walk up the stairs in the Courtyard, into Langwith JCR, you come across this hidden treasure. Described as “freakin’ awesome” by the director, it houses free exhibitions. This term will have three different shows in to“amazing tal: the current "As is paintopportunity to do wed follo ing so is poetry", what you want” available by "Handmade" and finally at the Norman Rea. It’s a nd an exhibition based arou get involved colonisation great thing to and Africa ersity, and univ at with old It is named after an ounce of an with “anyone Langiwth provost, Nor man e." . com wel is ty tivi crea Rea, who was in charge of esom ays alw There is the college form 1977 until k is wor the all and on, g thin 1997. The gallery was crefor sale, at affordable prices. ated in 2007 by John Issit, the The Norman Rea also organcurrent Langwith provost. ise talks and debates which ded deci In summer 2008 he often involve prestigious galto get students involved. Inlery members. The best way ds deed, though Issit still hea to find out about events is to the group ideas for the exhijoin the facebook group, or is bitions, their organisation just to pop in and see what now a student prerogative.. going on! If you're interThe director of the gal- is ested in getting involved, lery, Sarah Helen Bolwell, (a shb502@york.ac.uk email second year Art History stuut abo e dent) excitedly spok

Music to My Ears

Ever wondered what it might be like to be taking a bath with drum rhythms floating around beside you, or string solos, or a few crashing cymbals? Well you might have done, had you attended the recent (free!) concerts at the Jack Lyons Concert Hall (on Jan 27th), in honour of one of the wizards of the Baroque period: Monteverdi. One York Music student rather deliciously described the music as "mesmerisingly relaxing... like a musical bath!" Such a great way of putting it! In any other University department such a choice of words could perhaps never be used alongside each other, but in the Music Dept., as the stage song puts it, "anything goes."

To many the Jack Lyons Concert hall is a building that plays host to a hand-

ful of old fogies who strive to continue the tradition of classical music into the 20th century where dance anthems and RnB dominate. Funnily enough, nothing can be further from reality. Indeed, the greatest (and sometimes rather twisted) brains in history never need to be preserved, as the likes of Jack the Ripper, Shakespeare and Picasso prove pretty effectively.

Contrary to popular belief, the average age of the concert-goers is sub-60, with the concert themes ranging from manic drum beat rhythms to thick rich polyphonic choruses and clear cut melodious solos. Rather than desperately holding on to an antique understanding of traditional music, what those at the many (and diverse) concerts are doing is enjoying an evolving side of life and reminding themselves that if something has lasted 400 years already, its more than we can say for some of the flash-in-the-pan artists of today's pop scene!

Over the 5th and 6th March a series of percussion workshops and drum concerts will take place at the Sir Jack Lyons Concert Hall. It should be lively and a great experience whether you are taking part or going to watch. Tickets for the main concert on Friday cost £8, while many of the workshops are free.

For more details go to www. york.ac.uk/concerts

TAKE THE STAGE If you are a budding musican and want the chance to perform off campus, or want to see new music head down to The Basement (under the City Screen) on Sunday 15th February.

Performers should contact takethestageyork@gmail.com for more information.

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20 Questions Dick & Dom 5) How do you relax?

Dick - Running Dom - Running

13) What are you scared of?

Dick - Dom Dom - Dick

6) What really annoys you?

Dick - Dom Dom -Dick

14) Who would you least like to be stuck in a lift with?

Dick - Dom Dom - Dick

7) What is your guilty pleasure?

Both - We both enjoy a bit of cheesy pop.

Interview by David Elliott 1) Can you describe yourself in 5 words?

Both - Loquacious, effervescent, pandemonious, silly and daring.

2) Who are your heroes?

Dick - Phillip Schofield Dom - Paul Daniels 3) What is your most treasured possesion?

Dick - Dom Dom - Dick 4) What are you most proud of?

Dick - Dom Dom - Dick

8) Who would play you in a movie of your life?

Dick - Richard E. Grant Dom - Paul McGann 9) What are your most unappealing habits?

Both - Pandemonious, loquacious.

10) Are you smarter than a ten year-old?

Both - A little.

11) What's your favourite TV programme of all time?

Both - Anything with the title Dick and Dom above the shop door.

12) When were you happiest?

Dick - Sleeping Dom - At home

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7.30 pm @ Central Hall

Jonathan Larson's ever-popular rock opera arrives at Central Hall with the same showstopping mix of compulsive musical numbers and hardhitting AIDS-driven plot that has made it the 8th longestruning Broadway musical ever. A definite hit.

Tickets: Adult

Concession

£9.00 £6.00

Saturday

16) What's the last film you watched?

Both - The Hangover 17) And the last album you listened to?

Dick - Editor's new one Dom - Glee (he'll kill me for that!)

18) What's the most embarassing place to play 'Bogies'?

Both - A library!

19) Gunge or pies?

Both - Both!

20)Vision or Nouse?

Both - Vision of course!

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Tuesday 16 HOT CHIP 7.00pm @ 02 Academy Leeds

RAG PARADE @ City Centre College pride once again takes centre stage in the annual RAG parade, with all money raised going to its core charities. Last year more than 1000 students raised nearly £4000 marching through York city centre in their finest fancy dress. This year's theme is Hollywood: Marilyns mixing with Mohicans, zombies with Zoolanders, and a whole lot of celluloid fun.

Once again Leeds shows us how a real city does it. This evening's programme of cracking homegrown electropop is bound to get your feet moving, that is if the Academy's 'cosy' proportions allow it. Fresh from recording One Life Stand, Hot Chip are sure to be on top form.

Wednesday17 LOS CAMPESINOS @ Fibbers Does your inner musician demand a sugar fix? Hyperactive indie kids Los Campesinos are on hand with the sherbert dip.

Supporting their more focused new record Romance is Boring they may be, but with a volatile back catalogue and an electric stage presence, expect the night to be one of unrestrained energy.

Tickets: £9 advance/£11 otd

Richard McCourt (Dick) and Dominic Wood (Dom), 33 and 32 respectively, have been presenting kids' TV for well over a decade. Most famous for their riotous slapstick on Dick and Dom In Da Bungalow, they've recently branched out into comedy drama with 2009's The Legend of Dick and Dom. Obviously, the next step in their careers was to undergo 20 of Vision's best...

15) What is your favourite food?

Dick - Indian Dom - Veggie

Picks of the week Thursday

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See it for yourself...

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SILENT DISCO 10.30pm @ The Duchess Save yourself from the aural assault on offer at other insititutions with a trip to the Duchess.

Enjoyable side effects of the night's headphone-based frivolities, including merrily disparaging your drunken coursemates for their diabolical attempts at singing.

Tickets: £4 advance/£5 otd

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UNI CHAMBER ORCHESTRA

7.30pm @ Jack Lyons

WENTWORTH COMEDY FEST 7.30pm @ Wentworth Edge

Beethoven's propulsive 7th symphony forms the centrepiece of the evening framed with works by Wagner and Varese. The concert also features a specially commissioned work by York-based composer Stef Conner. Considerably cheaper, classier and healtheir than Ziggy's.

Featuring resident comedy troup The Shambles, Wentworth's 3rd annual comedy festival comes complete with food and drink to wash the jokes down. Profits fund ComedySoc's trip to the Edinburgh Fringe.

Tickets: £10 (concessions £9); £8 (concessions £7); students £3

Tickets: £5 of a member of Wentworth or Comedy Society/£6 if not

Scenesters Scene Editor David Elliott Music Editors Rachel Pronger Jim Norton Film Editors Tom Martin Jenny McLarney TV Editor Scott Bryan TV Deputy Teja Pisk Games Editor Nathan Blades Books Editors Natasha Holden Caitlin Potter Culture Editors Louisa McClellan Maryja Morrison