York Vision 220

WWW.YORKVISION.CO.UK

Tuesday November 29, 2011 Issue 220 vision@yusu.org

p 18

SHAME ON YOU! The UCD pepper spray scandal first hand p 14-15

- sCENE -

DAZZLE IN SEQUINS THIS WINTER

- features -

- lifestyle -

NAMED "STUDENT PUBLICATION OF THE YEAR 2011-2012" BY THE GUARDIAN

mike harding SPOTLIGHT

DEBAUCHED

TOKYO UNDER CRITIC

ISM FOR DEPRAVED

CLUB NIGHTS

> DODGY DJS ENCOURAGE PUBLIC SEX ACTS > ACCUSATIONS OF "EXPLOITING DRUNK STUDENTS"

SO IF YOU'RE SICK OF TOKYO, WHY NOT HEAD TO FIBBERS AND HAVE SEX IN A SHED? P5

2 NEWS

YORK VISION

PUTTING ON THE RITZ!

BY HELENA KEALEY "YEAH, HE'S our 'kick ass' chef," says David Duncan, the Registrar at the University of York.

Andrew Woods, (aka, kick ass chef) has been Head Chef at York for the past 11 years, and has spent them stirring his expertise into York cuisine.

"I've been trying to bring our food into the twentieth century," says Woods. "I've gone from working in 5 star hotels, including the Ritz, to being the Head Chef here." Adding a pinch of the 'ethos of fine dining and quality of food' to the pot of university cuisine, and changing the menu from frozen foodstuffs to fresh, has cooked

WEEK

Good Week For us! Officially the UK's best student newspaper. No, there weren't any modesty awards.

Woods up a number of awards.

On the menu: Winner of University Chef of the year, Gold Medal and the Hygiene Award at the Chef's Challenge, Gold Medal in the Salon Culinaire de Londres competition, as well as a making a number of other shortlists.

No half-baked efforts, Wood has spread his talent evenly

?

WHICH E CONTES X-'I'M A CELEB (UNINV TANT TURN RITY' ED UP ITED) A T T H E OF 'MI SS YOR LAUNCH K'?

Bad Week for LGBT students feeling a lack of representation at the moment.

Photo of the Week: York's city centre gets caught up in the Christmas spirit

Photo: Oliver Todd

21st

York's position in Student Beans' University Drinking Rankings

The size of the donation made by the Masons towards deafness research at the university

1,050%

ÂŁ16,310

The increase in crimes reportedly taking place at The Gallery in a 52-day period recently

Got an opinion? Get involved at www.yorkvision.co.uk Or contact us at vision@yusu.org

Tuesday November 29, 2011

over Roger Kirk, Derwent, Wentworth, The Hub and the Kings Manor. "We listen to feedback," and of course, "if students want chips, we'll give them chips."

It's not a piece of cake though; "It's been a challenge.

People don't realise we're not subsidised." Despite coming to York from the dizzy heights of

one of London's finest hotels, Woods doesn't miss the glitz of The Ritz (sorry). "I still get that pleasure of doing food properly," he told Vision, who are, for the record, huge fans of the coconut crunch.

And it seems we're not the only ones: "The feedback I get is that food at York is very good really."

Photo: Oliver Todd

Guardian Student Publication of the Year 2011-2012 Editors: Maddy Potts Katy Roberts

Deputy Comment: Marinus Maris Anmoli Sodha

Sports Editors: Fred Nathan Alex Finnis

Deputy Editors: Jack Knight Paul Virides

Features Editors: Georgina Strapp Harry Pick

Deputy Sports: Will Cooper Oliver Wessley

Scene Editors: Teja Pisk Rachel Pronger ____________

Deputy Features: Sine Bakumeni Judith Marzo

Chief Sub-Editors: Bethany Porter Philip Watson

Lifestyle Editors: Scott Simmons Nicholas DunnMcAfee

Photo Editors: Oliver Todd

News Editors: Will Thorman Oliver Todd Deputy News: Will Haydon Helena Kealey

Deputy Lifestyle: Sarah Woods Rachel Longhurst

Comment Editors: Max Sugarman Luke Sandford

Webmaster: Magnus Tripp Web Editor: Milana Knezevic Scene Editorial list in pullout

Opinions expressed in York Vision are not necessarily those of the Editors, senior editorial team, membership or advertisers. Every effort is made to ensure all articles are as factually correct as possible at the time of going to press, given the information available.

Copyright Vision Newspapers, 2011.

Printed by Yorkshire Web

NEWS

YORK VISION

Tuesday November 29, 2011

3

NEW YUSU REFERENDUM DRAWS WIDESPREAD CRITICISM OVER 'GENDER EQUALITY OFFICERS' PROPOSAL

REFEREN-DUM-DUM-DUM!

BY ARJUN KHARPUL

THE YUSU Democracy Committee has decided to hold a referendum on a controversial motion that looks to overhaul the position of Women’s Officer.

If members vote 'yes' to the motion, “Should the role of YUSU Women's Officer be replaced by Gender Equalities Officer?” the Women’s Officer position will change to Gender Equality Officer and will be held by two people.

One of the officers must self-define as a man and the other must self-define as a woman.

The motion, proposed by an ordinary student of the union and since sent to referendum by the Democracy Committee, has stirred up a whirlwind of controversy.

Women’s Officer Cat Wayland tweeted: “@yorkunisu @YUSUWomens cannot even begin to articulate my rage #fuckingchauvinists”.

Wayland and her co-Women’s Officer Nell Beecham expressed concerns over the adverse effect the proposed motion would have on views about gender equality.

They told Vision: “Whilst we recognise that gender inequality is detrimental to all persons, not just women, losing the Women's Officers and Committee allows us conveniently to forget that women historically have suffered and still do suffer disproportionately.”

They fear that running campaigns and providing information on issues “appertaining specifically to women” would not be in the remit of the proposed Gen-

Women's Officers Beecham and Wayland express their concern about the 'maledominated' state YUSU.

WHEEL-Y GOOD

BY KATY ROBERTS

PLANS FOR a 53 metre high ferris wheel to return to York have been given the go-ahead by the City of York Council following proposals by Great City Attractions Global (GCAG).

The firm will be allowed to operate the structure from December of this year until January 2013.

GCAG's previous wheel next to the National Railway Museum opened in 2006, achieving 200,000 visitors in it's first six months, but closed in November 2008.

The new attraction, which will be erected next to the Royal

York Hotel, will have 42 pods and will be able to carry up to 1,000 people per hour.

The wheel has been approved despite fierce opposition from neighbouring residents. The company's planning manager claimed that they have never dealt with a single complaint regarding loss of amenity or noise disturbance.

It is thought that the ferris wheel will bring cultural and economic benefits to York.

The Royal York Hotel's Tony Furlong said that the wheel would be a "dynamic" addition to the city and tourism body Visit York believe it will become "an icon".

der Equalities Officers.

Wayland and Beecham have also hailed the proposition as “deeply transphobic” claiming that the role would prevent “anyone who self-defines outside of the gender binary, who neither consider themselves a man nor a woman, from standing.”

Many critics of the proposition are aware of the lack of women’s representation worldwide. YUSU President Tim Ellis told Vision: “Women are consistently under-represented around the world, in the UK, and even in our Students Union where I am part of an all male Sabbatical team.

“I would argue that it is necessary to have a Women's Campaigning Network that is led by women to create awareness of the inequality that women still continue to face."

Another educational institute has also opposed the motion. In a letter to YUSU, the Executive Committee of West Thames College Student Union (WTCSU) stated: “It is not typical for us to comment upon democratic matters within another SU, but these circumstances are so grave that for us to choose to remain silent would constitute an act of reprehensible cowardice.”

WTCSU explained: “Without a Women's Officer who is necessarily female, female students no

longer have the right to be sure that somebody on the Exec [committee] fully understands women's oppression.”

This motion to is the second of two contoversial propositions being put to a referendum. Motion 1 asks, “Should YUSU ‘twin’ with the Hebrew University of Jerusalem?”

If the members vote yes YUSU will “twin” with the Hebrew University of Jerusalem, and lobby the University of York to do the same. Furthermore, the Union will work to build links with students at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem.

Jacob Campbell, Press Officer for UKIP Friends of Israel thinks that this measure is important in expressing “solidarity with Israelis at this time of great uncertainty in the Middle East.

“I believe that by building links between British and Israeli students we can forge a relationship of mutual understanding

that is conducive to greater sympathy for the Middle East's only democracy."

Peter Spence, the coordinator of the “no campaign” against this proposition wrote on their Facebook page: “As a foreign policy target to increase sympathy with Israel, this motion falls well beyond YUSU's remit, while wasting Union resources on international campaigning.”

Spence is also concerned that, if passed, the motion will have a dire effect on the way the University’s political stance is perceived, “potentially labelling York as a 'pro-Israel' University, putting off neutral and pro-Palestine students and staff.”

Ellis expresses similar sentiment, claiming that the Union would be stepping on “dangerous territory."

He urges "all students to think carefully about the implications of the referendum motions if they were to pass.”

Lizzie Bartholomew as Chair in the form of current Male Welfare rep Pascal Dubois and Wasim Akhtar.

Derwent sees Ents reps Harry Pampiglione and Francesca Knight join non-committee members Harry Dorrance-King, Flavio Newcomb and Ed Schwitzer in running for Chair.

Derwent Chair Matt Jenkins told Vision, "this will probably be the closest elections we've had in Derwent for many years."

James announce their candidates today.

The Goodricke Chair candidates include Female Welfare rep Emily Miller, ordinary member George Davis and fresher Hannah Kennedy, with their hustings being tomorrow evening at 8pm.

Langwith have only recently opened their nominations and are yet to announce their candidates.

Voting opens from Wednesday 30th November and will close on Monday 5th December. You can cast your vote on the JCRC elections via the YUSU website, www. yusu.org/vote.

JCRC ROUND-UP

BY OLIVER TODD

AS THE terms of the current college JCRC's draw to an end, the new college committees are reaching crunch time in their election timetables.

With Vanbrugh and Alcuin having already hosted their hustings, and most other colleges now open for nominations, the college elections are in full flow ahead of voting which begins tomorrow.

Vanbrugh's race for Chair looks to be contested between 4 candidates, current block-rep Charlie Knox, Environment and Campaigns rep Feargus Hosking-Jervis and newcomers Matt Stephenson and Adam Lewis.

Current Chair Kallum Taylor said, "It’s both pleasing and a relief to see so many people, expected and unexpected, running for our JCRC positions."

"The last Chair said to me it was now ‘my problem’ when I won, but what I’ll say to the next bunch is that it’s in fact their opportunity to get further stuck into the ‘student experience’ for the better."

Alcuin, meanwhile have only two candidates aiming to succeed

4 NEWS

YORK VISION

LGB(emp)T

Vision's Will Thorman casts his eye over what's going on in other university media...

student press LOOKING THROUGH student news this week, I wondered: How does the average student keep themselves entertained?

Drinking immediately sprang to mind. A University Drinking league table has been published which placed York in the top third of the UK’s universities (a nice CV sweetener).

Cambridge students, despite being placed a modest 51st in the drinking league, last summer had to explore the idea of a scheme which would pay students to babysit those too drunk to look after themselves after nights out. The proposition followed an incident where a student suffered serious burns after passing out on a radiator.

Other hobbies were a little more surprising. St Andrews students had to be warned, by a notice posted on the Library toilets, that “masturbation is a violation of university regulations.” Sexually frustrated students were informed that the toilet floors were “not designed to handle your semen” and the “excessive amount” of stains cost thousands of pounds to remove. The warning said that cleaning costs would be reflected in tuition rises next year.

The toilet floors were not designed to handle your semen.

"

While the notice has been dismissed as a prank by the University, I’m not so sure; by all accounts there isn’t an awful lot to do in St. Andrews. The burning of an Obama effigy by the St. Andrews Conservative student association illustrates my point nicely. Apparently it's not an isolated incident, either...

“One year they burned an effigy of me, alongside one of Nelson Mandela,” said James Mills, former Chairman of the St Andrews Labour Club.

A Derby student has shown, though, that you don’t have to drink or masturbate excessively to have fun at university (although it helps). Danielle Morgan had to call in firemen to free her after she got her head wedged in a clothes horse. She knocked over the death trap, which landed on her and trapped her head and shoulders. Shortly after her liberation Morgan wrote on Facebook: “Having four hunky firemen and two paramedics come to my rescue! What a way to spend a Sunday night.”

If you’re in need of entertainment, check out the Daily Mail website which features a video kindly uploaded onto Youtube by her friends.

BY WILL THORMAN YUSU LGBT Officer Emma Brownbill has officially resigned. The Democracy Committee now plan hold a by-election before the end of term.

YUSU President Tim Ellis commented: "Emma has resigned from her position as LGBT Officer and we will be holding a by-election within the next two weeks to refill the position as soon as possible. We are extremely keen to refill the position and make sure that LGBT students are properly represented promptly."

The role is part-time and involves representing LGBT students across the University, and liaising with students, relevant officers, staff and departments.

The LGBT Officer also chairs a committee that organises the activities of the LGBT Network and these positions are also currently vacant.

Excluding LGBT Officer, there are 12 vacant positions on the committee, all of which can be held by up to three people who must all self-define as the demographics of the position they are running for.

Ellis continued: "Unfortu-

nately, we have seen an extremely disappointing amount of nominations for LGBT committee in this round of elections. All these positions will be up for election in an Open Meeting of the LGBT Network as soon as possible and I would urge LGBT students to attend and stand for positions to ensure that they are being properly represented at York."

YUSU Welfare Officer Bob Hughes shared a similar sentiment: "Although the lack of nominations for the committee is not ideal, we are holding an open meeting to encourage as many people as possible to stand for the positions so that we can soon have a working committee that can can start planning cam-

BUS CLUBBED

BY HELENA KEALEY

THE RECENT YUSU and Unibus collaberation, ‘Clubber’s Bus’ has been forced to close down it’s Sunday service due to lack of student use.

Leaving at 2:00, 2:45 and 3:30am from outside Salvation and Tokyo on Rougier street, the bus is meant to help on-campus students get home safely after a night out.

However, the service which was started up this term has already been forced to close one of its days, so that it will now only run on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

YUSU, keen to promote the service, have been offering students paid work via Facebook as promotion representatives for the service, making students aware of the buses during nights out. YUSU Welfare Officer Bob Hughes commented, ‘The service was slow to get off the ground at first, but quite a bit of promotion later, and I’m delighted to say that the service is now being used really well on the Tuesday and Thursday nights, but less so on the Sunday.’

The ‘Clubbers’ Bus, which only charges £1 will be continuing into the new term.

paigns and representing LGBT students across the University."

But former LGBT Officer Brownbill refutes claims that the LGBT community is underrepresented. Speaking to Vision, Brownbill explained: "Those elected or co-opted to any of the Campaign Network committees since last year will hold their positions until the end of the current YUSU elections.

"In the case of LGBT that includes multiple demographic reps, six sets of JCRC reps and an acting secretary. In the event that positions are unfilled after elections, the bye-laws allow for co-options by a vote of any Open Meeting of the Campaign Network concerned."

Tuesday November 29, 2011

Brownbill also spoke to Vision regarding the reason for her resignation, stating: "I feel it is a necessary step down to allow me to focus more fully on achieving positive change for LGBT students at York."

She continued: "During my time in office it has become increasingly apparent that the Union as a body has no active interest in maintaining the wellbeing of its part-time Officers, and as such it is no longer tenable for me to hold a position which suggests that the Union is set up to protect the wellbeing of our students more generally."

Although specualtion surrounding Brownbill's resignation had suggested that she'd found recent criticism hard to handle, Brownbill denies this fact. Complaints raised against Brownbill were voiced in a heavily criticised article written by Nouse earlier this month which talked of "an anonymous complaint" to YUSU. But talking to Vision, Brownbill vehemently denied that her resignation has anything to do with "the phenomenally unsubstantiated nonsense that Nouse printed a few weeks ago."

NEWS

YORK VISION Tuesday November 29, 2011

5

YET MORE SHAME FOR YORK'S MOST CONTROVERSIAL CLUB...

TOKYO: HOW LOW CAN YOU GO?

BY OLIVER TODD

YUSU'S AFFLIATION with Tokyo nightclub has been called into question after a number of incidents at the club in the early weeks of this term, as well as last year.

A number of students have approached Vision regarding issues with the club. Following last years revelations in Vision of sex games and scandal at the venue, this month's personal appearance of 'The Only Way is Essex' star, Joey Essex, saw women in the audience asked to give a lapdance to a member of his entourage in order to meet him.

One of the girls involved told Vision, "it was degrading, I was drunk and already had my heart set upon meeting Joey. When I woke up the next day to see myself on Facebook giving a random man a lapdance I was horrified."

A member of the YUSU Ents committee who wished to remain unnamed approached Vision towards the end of last term. and again this week. to voice his concerns over YUSU's continuted affiliation with the club.

"At the end of last year Dan Walker asked us what we thought of the current YUSU club nights which saw us effectively spend an hour complaining about Tokyo."

Last summer saw Fibbers dropped from the official club timetable, although Ents meetings also saw Tokyo criticised

after drunk students were coerced into on-stage sex games on the offical Thursday 'Drop The Bomb' nights by the infamous 'Grotty' DJ Gotti.

YUSU President Tim Ellis admitted, "Whilst we did look into other possibilities it was felt that these clubs could provide the best variety of nights for our students, as well as being financially sound venues for the foreseeable future ."

Another member of the Ents committee told Vision that there have been "at least ten complaints a night regarding Tokyo" so far this term.

March of this year also reportedly drew complaints regarding the behaviour of bouncers towards students attending

Fusion's afterparty.

The member of the Ents committee gave a damning verdict on YUSU's persistence with Tokyo, "their attitude is basically, 'We know it's shit but it's the best we can do'. It's the bouncers that are the main problem and YUSU, as far as I know, haven't even tried to sort it out, and they've known about it for well over a year."

However, YUSU reported having no knowledge of any formal complaints being lodged about the night. Ellis told Vision that "[YUSU] take any complaints very seriously and would urge anyone that has encountered any problems to come and speak to us at YUSU, or to email myself."

Last year saw students involved in an onstage game that

saw sex positions acted out including ‘the wheelbarrow’ and '69' as part of a 'Magaluf-style' sex show.

At the time, one student said, “He was clearly a DJ who is massively out of touch with what students actually want on a night out. It went down like a lead balloon.”

YUSU Welfare Officer Bob Hughes told Vision: "We take all complaints very seriously, and we will be chasing them up with all parties involved to make sure that students aren't facing discrimination on nights out."

One second year English student who was present at both the sex games last year and Joey Essex's 'Reem Night' told Vision, "I think it's appalling, Joey Essex

isn't even a real celebrity! Tokyo are simply exploiting drunk students for the entertainment of others. I was not amused."

Tokyo told Vision: "Tokyo Night Club has not received a single complaint related to this and we would very much like to hear from any person who has had anything other than a perfect experience with us. We are always making improvements and adjustments to our club nights and would welcome any suggestions from students of the University of York. We have recently invested in high profile acts from Katy B to The Black Eyed Peas amongst many others. The idea is deliver a balanced entertainment programme which offers something for everyone."

SHADY SHAG SHED SHENANIGANS

NOT ENOUGH sex going on in Tokyo for you? Then you'll be disappointed to hear you may also have missed out on Fibbers' brand new addition to their Monday nights, 'The Shag Shed'.

Despite York's reputation for being a sexless university, last night students were invited to spend their evening in Fibbers' brand new attraction.

After failing to hold onto their flagging YUSU club night last year, and desperate to get new

customers into their Monday night 'College Dropout' events, they have continually added increasingly surreal gimmicks to bring students back to the venue.

From free T-shirts and cheap Jagerbombs to free entry, their ideas this week reached, according to the promotional Facebook group, "something else NEVER been SEEN before...".

The new attraction is a "fullsized" wooden shed, "with pillows and blankets in case you need a little NAP or some other

prevents dangerous substances being administered to unsuspecting clubbers. However, students drinking from more open-necked glasses remain vulnerable and are urged to keep their drink with them at all times.

These changes are thought to be permanent, with Club Salvation’s affiliated Bar Salvation adopting similar measures in the near future.

The introduction of these new measures come in response to the article “Spiking Spate Won't Abate”, which reported that the new term had seen a number of

worrying incidents Marc 'Sharc' Lawrence from Club Salvation told Vision, “whilst we in no way have a problem with drink spiking at the club, it was important to show that we were doing something in response to the article.

“We will continue our policy of random searches on the doors, and also search anyone who appears to be under the influence of illegal drugs, or any suspicious behavior.”

YUSU Welfare Officer Bob Hughes has supported the move saying “Salvation have been incredibly proactive at working with YUSU on tackling drink spiking, and, after finding out about some of the issues, they were immediately in contact with me to look at some of the ways they could help, whether through giving out Spikeys or through their security staff.

“We are keeping a constant dialogue open with them to see how effectively this is working, and so that we can provide more help if needed, but I welcome their commitment to tackling spiking.”

reason" There was even a "FULL CCTV CREW" in the venue making a video and periodically cutting to television screens.

One reveller described the evening as "pretty much a porn night" on a Facebook event page.

Goodricke Chair Nacho Hernando said "I can think of much The Shag Shed simpler things than the 'Shag Shed' to provide students with a good night - simply play good music and charge less at the door...

An artist's* impression of the Shag this would encourage students to Shed. *Not a real artist. have a good night at their venue."

SPIKING SALVATION BIG WINS

BY JOE SOFTLEY

CLUB SALVATION has taken steps to combat the several suspected incidents of drink spiking in the clubs and bars of York, following the report that featured in Vision earlier this month.

As well as an increase in the number of drink safety awareness posters found throughout the club, the anti-spiking device 'Spikey' will be available from the bar free of charge.

The small device is inserted into the neck of a bottle, and

Photo: Oliver Todd

BY WILL HAYDON

THE UNIVERSITY HAS received accolades from three prominent awarding bodies this month, recognizing achievement in a variety of areas, from the Engineering department to the Heslington East campus.

Times Higher Education, which last year named York ‘University of the Year,’ this year gave the University the Outstanding Engineering Research Team of the Year award at a ceremony on Thursday 24 November.

In the same ceremony, York was also awarded through its participation in the Realising Opportunities Partnership, which was given the prize for Widening Participation Initiative of the Year.

York is one of 12 UK universities that join to make Realising Opportunities, a scheme that gives underprivileged teenagers a better chance to study at research-intensive institutions, like York.

The Archaeology department was awarded with a Queen’s Anniversary Prize, described on

their website as “the most prestigious form of national recognition” that a university can achieve. York has won the award four times in the last four ceremonies.

The award, which celebrates “work of exceptional quality and of broad benefit either nationally or internationally,” recognizes the steps York’s Archaeology department has taken to become an internationally renowned centre for archaeoological study.

Earlier this month, York were awarded on three counts by the Royal Institute of British Architects. Elizabeth Heaps, who has been overseeing extensions to the Heslington East campus, was named Client of the Year for her “infectious enthusiasm.”

The new campus itself was given two Northen Network Gold awards, the first for ‘Cluster 1’, the part of the campus built already, and the second for the Ron Cooke Hub. Heaps cited the “rich variety of spaces, places and buildings on our new Heslington East campus” as the reason for the University’s win.

6 NEWS NEWS IN BRIEF GEST APPEARANCE DAVID GEST made a surprise appearance at this month's Miss York launch party, offering his support to the competition.

The US music producer, who shot to fame in 2006 after appearing on 'I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here', arrived unannounced with one of the event's judges.

At the launch it was revealed that the final will now be held at the newly refurbished Barbican centre on Saturday 17 March next year.

The change of venue, which means that 40 contestants and an audience of 400 will be provided for, reflects the event's growing popularity, says competition organiser Naomi Smith.

BIG OPPORTUNITIES YORK'S WIDENING Participation scheme has spoken of its aim to maintain the University's 80/20 ratio of state-to-private schools, despite fee hikes.

The scheme aims to keep alive the original intention of the University, which was established in 1963 with an aim to include a wide range of social classes.

The scheme, which last week won an award as part of the countrywide Realising Opportunities Partnership, helps disadvantaged pupils from across the country.

Its main function is to inform school pupils of the availability of grants, that will help them pay their way through University.

Last year, Realising Opportunities focused on helping 600 pupils, and sent 95 per cent of them to research-intensive universities.

STREETS CLEARED THE CITY COUNCIL have announced plans to transform York's city centre as part of a widespread effort to 'Reinvigorate York'.

Their goal, to make York a more pedestrian-centred city, will be put into effect by removing vehicle access to the busiest areas.

Councillor David Merret, the cabinet member for city strategy, said that "it’s time to move forward."

The city made a similar push to clear the streets in the '80s, Merret explained, but more needs to be done.

The Council intends to eventually pedestrianise Fossgate and Duncombe Place, which links the Minster to the main road.

Reinvigorate York's first move, though, will be to demolish the toilet block in the centre of Parliament Street, which has cost the Council £24,000 to maintain since being closed two years ago.

YORK VISION Tuesday November 29, 2011

MANIAC WITH MEAT CLEAVER ARRESTED IN GALLERY AS CLUB-RELATED CRIME RATE ROCKETS

GALLERY CRIME SURGE

BY ARJUN KHARPAL

THE GALLERY Nightclub has been condemned in a police report after statistics revealed that the crime rate rocketed by 1,050 per cent following their “May Madness” drink promotions.

Gallery’s license has been called into question and the North Yorkshire Police have pushed for a review to tighten up the terms.

They are concerned that the club, which formerly hosted the official YUSU Thursday night as well as the popular but unofficial SNG, has been neglecting their licensing responsibilities for commercial interests.

York Council’s Cabinet Member for Crime and Community Safety, Sandy Fraser, told Vision: “The impact of irresponsible ‘cheap drink’ promotions by night clubs and other late-night venues is of concern and this is reflected in the appalling record of crime and disorder which has been recorded at The Gallery nightclub in the period following the introduction of their ‘May Madness’ promotion.”

Licensing Officer Mick Wilkinson’s report to the York City Council shows that calls for police services rose during the “May Madness” deals.

The York Safer Partnership statistics indicate that there was

Oliver Todd

a 1,050 per cent increase in crime associated with Gallery in the 52 days after 1 May, compared to the previous 52 days.

Fraser is concerned for public safety. He said: “There must also be concerns for the safety of their customers, who were putting themselves at risk by being so incapable that they made themselves vulnerable."

Thefts, assaults, and arrests for drunk and disorderly behaviour were amongst the 192 incidents recorded between January and October, out of which 120 occurred after 2am.

Some of the episodes even took a bizarre turn as one customer was found to have a “full

bite mark” on his face, whilst another was arrested at the back of the club wielding a meat cleaver and wearing surgical gloves.

There were also concerns over the role that the door staff played. Allegedly, Gallery needed 600 customers to make profit and door staff were told to let anyone in. Sgt Martin Metcalfe believed that “people who should not be in there” were allowed entrance into the club.

As part of the review, Councillor Fraser told Vision that “the police are asking for quite onerous and stringent new conditions for this venue.”

The police have called for a number of changes to the licens-

and have a drink and then enjoy yourselves as you watch the pole dancing and mingle with our ladies."

YUSU Women's Officers Nell Beecham and Cat Wayland have voiced concerns over the allegation: "We will be speaking to both the Welfare Officer and the Halifax Welfare Reps on the this matter [to clarify whether this has happened], but it is of course of immense concern to us nonetheless; it would be utterly despicable that in a university environment where we ought to know that people should be valued for their minds and not their bodies, students in positions of responsibility and authority actively encourage the objectification and commoditization of women’s bodies."

Mootanah denies the allegations, claiming that although "an additional offer to hold some sports socials specifically for the rugby and football teams in return for discount entry to the strip club" was made during discussions on a possible sponsor-

ship deal between Mansion and Halifax College, "we have turned down the offer."

Mootanah also asserts that "the offer in no way included any agreements to do with money or promotion of the strip club to students outside of the rugby/ football club for Halifax."

He continued: "I can also speak on behalf of the Rugby and Football captains of Halifax College that we have never held a

ing conditions for Gallery: A maximum of 500 customers instead of the current 775 capacity, a new closing time of 2.30am to replace the existing 4.30am closing time, all glass bottled drinks to be put into another container, CCTV to cover the areas where the public have access to alcohol as well as the front of the club, barriers to be placed at the front an hour before closure with two staff members in high-visibility 'marshal' jackets to patrol, and one bar must shut at 1am if drinks are sold for less than £1.80, with the others closing at 1.30am.

Councillor Sandy also sees these reforms as sending a key message to owners of drinking establishments: “By calling for a review of this establishment’s license it is clearly demonstrated that neither the Council nor North Yorkshire Police will accept the lax running of such establishments.”

YUSU Welfare Officer Bob Hughes told Vision: "It is concerning to hear about the recent incidents in Gallery, and I think that bars and clubs should bear in mind their social responsibility at all times.

"I have been working with the YUSU-sponsored club nights on this message to ensure that they are on-board with a responsible drinking message."

The outcome of the review will be determined by the Licensing Committee.

HEAVENS ABOVE, HALIFAX!

BY WILL THORMAN

HALIFAX COLLEGE Chair, Davedass Mootanah, has come under fire following rumours of an unofficial sponsorship deal between Heaven's Above, a lapdancing night held on Saturdays at the popular student club Mansion (formerly Ziggy's), and Halifax football and rugby teams.

A member of Halifax JCRC, who wishes to remain anonymous, told Vision, "He [Mootanah] said he had links with it [Ziggy's Strip Club] at the start of the year. As rewards for the people on the committee, he said he could get them in for free on Saturdays and find something else for the girls. He was looking to get sponsorship from anyone and didn't really care about what it was as long they got money from them."

The 'Heaven's Above lap dancing club (at Ziggy's)' Facebook page states: "We pride oursleves on having some of the nicest girls around who will entertain you and keep you all happy. Meet up

social there."

YUSU President Tim Ellis said on the matter: "We would urge all colleges to consider carefully the implications that any sponsorship deal may have on all its membership. Whilst we may make recommendations to the colleges, and help them where necessary, they are independent of YUSU and have the final say over their sponsorship."

Oliver Todd

YORK VISION

NEWS

Tuesday November 29, 2011

RIDICULOUS RENT RISE

BY OLIVER TODD

NEXT YEAR’S university accommodation rent prices are set to see a price rise of 8.6 per cent in some blocks, with others rising by 5.6 per cent, increasing student living costs alongside the new £9,000 education fees, having been recommended by the Student Services Committee.

Whilst the 5.6 per cent price increase is in line with inflation, the 8.6 per cent increase represents, to Vice-Chancellor for Students Jane Grenville said "last year the catered services were subsidised.

To pay for the ongoing accommodation renovations on Heslington West campus, we have to stop subsidising the food service, which is why the prices have gone up above inflation."

The new pricing levels would see a standard refurbished room in Derwent priced at almost £120 a week from October 2012, whilst prices for rooms in the new Langwith college buildings on Heslington East are yet to be announced.

YUSU President Tim Ellis told Vision, “Myself and Bob [Hughes, YUSU Welfare Officer] both sit on Student Services Committee and made our views very clear, but we were obviously in a minority.”

The price increase is also coupled with the uncertainty of the recent Article 4 Direction that was passed by York City Council as reported by Vision. Residents had

complained about University students beginning to take over local areas as more houses were being converted into multiple occupancy homes.

The University has been criticised for not offering enough accommodation for the growing number of students, forcing them out into local communities such as Badger Hill and Heslington Village. Ellis stated, “We [the University] should be encouraging affordable rooms on campus, for all first years, and some second and third years, not pricing them out.

I would urge the Senior Management Group to reconsider the implications of such a price rise.”

The decision to increase the price of on-campus accommodation comes coupled with the increase in house prices as a whole in York, which, again coupled with the Article 4 Direction will see student rent prices rise this year.

However, in future, representation for students may be more prominent, with Ellis stating that, “We have managed to secure a student seat on the Rents Group which makes the proposal to Student Services Committee so next year students will have an input much earlier on.”

Whilst the decisions on accommodation pricing are not yet final, they look almost certain to go through unless YUSU can convince senior management to change their minds.

Photo: Ruth Gibson

DEAFNESS RESEARCH UK last week received a donation of over £16,000 from the Masonic Samaritan Fund for pioneering new research taking place at the University of York.

The research team, led by Professor Quentin Summerfield on their ‘Helping Elderly People with Spatial Hearing Difficulties’ project, are looking into the brain processes during what is known as ‘sound localisation’. This is the process by which we identify the location of movement and sounds, a process which may be linked to the difficulties faced by elderly people with handicapped hearing.

The research is expected to last around six months and should be instrumental in aiding the understanding of hearing loss in elderly people. To conduct the research, participants will sit in the centre of a circle of loudspeakers as the research team present sounds that change location every few seconds. The voltage on the the scalp surface will be measured as this happens, giving a measure of brain activity.

Professor Summerfield said “We are grateful to the Masonic Samaritan Fund and Deafness Research UK for their support.

This grant will help us to develop a new brain-imaging technique for studying the difficulties which some older people experience in localising sounds and in orientating to their location by making head movements.”

Deafness Research UK is the only charity dedicated solely to finding cures and treatments for those suffering from hearing impairments.

The research project being conducted at the University is one of many projects around the UK into loss of hearing funded by Deafness Research UK through voluntarily contributions like that of the Masonic Samaritan Fund.

John McCrohan, Grants Director and Deputy Chief Executive of the Masonic Samaritan Fund who presented the cheque wholeheartedly supported the cause by commenting “Many of our beneficiaries struggle with hearing loss and we are pleased to be able to contribute vital funds to Professor Summerfield's efforts.”

BY WILL HAYDON

PLANS ARE underway to reopen LGBT-friendly bar Little John’s next year. The bar shut down in October following a series of legal issues that culminated in the City Council removing the bar’s licence to sell alcohol.

On two occasions police found cocaine in the premises after tipoffs from customers, and noise complaints about the bar have been regularly made to the council since 2007.

In August more than 25 grams of cocaine was found, which police estimate would have a street value of £1,080. A police report stated that bags of the drug weighing around 400g had been seen in the flat above the bar.

Landlord Chris Ransome denied intending to sell the Class A drug, and maintained that it was for personal use only.

After his arrest, councillors decided to revoke the bar’s licence.

This came into effect on Monday 26 September, and the bar closed on Thursday 13 October.

Enterprise Inns, the brewery that owns Little John’s, has now announced plans to reopen the bar

as Which SABB w rence spotted on Law ght Street at midni s, wearing his PJ an d an s slipper overcoat?

Shady.

Which two cam pus hacks comman deered YUSU property for a joy ride around cam pus?

Photo: Oliver Todd

MASON DONATION LITTLE JOHN RETURNS

BY SARAH RUDEFORTH

What's The Quack?

next year after refurbishment, but could not comment on whether it will actively maintain its status as an LGBT-friendly establishment.

Baxter Willis, the LGBT Welfare Officer for Derwent College, commented: "I would be very surprised if Little John’s gave up its LGBT status – it would be a shame, and it had a monopoly on the LGBT market."

He went on: "I’m told it’s not actually the only gay bar in York and that there is another, but its whereabouts is a secret and the whole thing is shrouded in mystery."

Since Little John’s closure, weekly gay night 'OUTrageous' has been set up at Blue Fly Bar, which "softens the blow," according to Willis, but "is very different to the community a pub can build."

The extent of the refurbishment was not made clear, but Ellis German, supervisor of the bar before its closure, said that "quite a bit of work…needs doing.

"The basement area was never really used and if refurbed properly would be a lovely area, and the main bar needed quite a bit of work doing… I think [Enterprise] will be giving it a proper look at."

rugby Which Vanbrugh home, rl gi a player took ucial cr a at t ou ed pass the t we d an moment, bed?

Bet she'll be back more., stud.

for

Which college is booking a Made In Chelsea star for their Christmas Ball?

We're totes ther e.

anities Which two hum ed up ok course reps ho om?

Ro h rt No in the

7

8NEWS

YORK VISION Tuesday November 29, 2011

COMMENT

YORK VISION Tuesday November 29, 2011

>Comment LUKE SANDFORD

D

uring a recent visit to some Scandinavian Universities, I observed some startling differences in the organisation of Student Government there. Lund University in south-west Sweden is one of the oldest universities in Scandinavia, and is built on a rich tradition of student involvement in the running of the institution. Almost every student there is a member of a Nation, to which the closest British equivalent would probably be a College. Historically the Nations were based around regions of the country, students becoming members of the Nation of the area they were from, although now students are able to join any Nation.

These Nations are owned in trust and run purely by students. There are some professional advisers, alumni who went on to work in law or finance and now help out voluntarily (not unlike the external trustees of YUSU), but the day-to-day running of the nation is by a team of full time sabbatical students. This isn’t quite the same as running Alcuin though – the nation has its own bar, club, kitchen and a series of accommodation blocks. Running it is quite a task, and the students do incred-

MADDY POTTS

I

t was announced this month that Prince William will be posted to the Falkland Islands in his role as a Search And Rescue pilot with the RAF. Brugo Marco, the Argentine official responsible for the territory, described it as a “provocative act” that showed a “military presence in a zone of peace where there is no armed conflict.” The Ministry of Defence, on the other hand, declared that his posting was routine for a helicopter pilot. Both parties are right – the Duke of Cambirdge’s time in the contested province may be intended as “routine”, but the life of Royals is very rarely so.

While posted in the Falklands (technically a British territory, but with disputed sovereignty claims from Argentina, who call the islands Las Malvinas), the Prince will fly the Sea King helicopter in a supportive capacity to the four Typhoon fast jets that currently protect British interests in the surrounding airspace. It is an operational role and not, as reported by some media, part of his training.

After graduating from the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst in 2006, William spent time at the Britannia Naval Training College, and then transferred his commission to the Royal Air Force in 2009, completing the hat-trick of services. But it is the recent announcement that the Prince will serve in the Falklands that has marked the most controversial point in his military career. His visit will fall just before the

9

ABBA-SOLUTELY FANTASTIC Scandinavia shows us how it's done.

ibly well. The accommodation is cheaper than commercial rent in the city, and the quality I saw was better than my block in Derwent. Everything in the nation has the advantage of being run for the benefit of its students, and from the stories I heard it seems tenants are looked after very well; not something that can be said for some of

The Nations in Lund collectively own what can only be described as a large castle in the city centre; its name loosely translates to “Academic Fortress.” the landlords in York. This isn’t to say it’s perfect - it is student accommodation after all, but a student run system seems to be working very well for Lund.

The same applies for the events they run – I’ve never found it particularly easy to get tap water from clubs in York, but most clubs frequented by Swedish students are Nation-run, and water is available without queuing at every bar. Similarly

the overzealous revellers who took to the chairs and tables weren’t aggressively thrown out into the street in a way I have seen many times in York, where bouncers try and persuade students to bribe their way back in.

Having a more student-led administration has resulted in services which are clearly more responsive to student needs and wishes than we have here in York.

It has also afforded the opportunity for many more students to get involved in running events and facilities, all of which fall under the nation umbrella, opportunities for development which less people in York are able to experience.

Of course this system has developed over hundreds of years. The Nations in Lund, through the Academic Society of Lund, collectively own what can only be described as a large castle in the city centre; home to many of their activities, larger events, formal occasions and a source of revenue for students.

It was built in 1848 with the help of a financial gift from the Prince Oscar I of Sweden; its name loosely translates to “Academic Fortress,” complete with battlements and turrets.

Suddenly the Student Centre extension looks quite disappointing. Maybe YUSU should write to Prince Philip and ask for some cash?

One of the questions I was asked most frequently in Scandinavia was “what is the perception of us in the UK?” Avoiding too many jokes about IKEA and ABBA; I said honestly that every couple of weeks I’d read a newspaper article explaining how something is done in Sweden, how much better it is than the UK, and questioning why we don’t do things more like that here.

It’s striking that after only 5 days I came away with the exact same idea.

I’m not expecting the University to gift the students a couple of colleges and see how we get on with running them, but there is certainly a precedent for students successfully running our own services to a higher standard. Even in York the Courtyard is a prime example of how YUSU has done a much better job than Commercial Services of running a bar on campus. I hope The Lounge and the Hes East bar represent the early stages in improving the student stake in running our campus.

A PRINCELY PROBLEM

Defence cuts should prompt a review of the Royals in regiments.

30th anniversary of the conflict in which his uncle, the Duke of York, served as a helicopter pilot.

He is, of course, not the only Windsor boy to have his military career mapped out in the press. The Telegraph recently reported that Prince Harry will be returning to Afghanistan next year after completing his training as an Apache helicopter pilot. The younger Prince was hastily withdrawn from Helmand Province in 2008 after a German newspaper and an Australian magazine breached the press black-out put in place by the British and

The cost incurred supporting the Princes could have been spent elsewhere - could have saved a job or two.

Canadian authorities. But his squadron has been lined up for a return to the warzone in the late summer of next year where Harry will fly the AH-64 helicopter - a combative aircraft equipped with rockets, hellfire missiles and target acqusition radar. In a television interview he told the press that he "severely hoped" he would be given the chance to return to operations. "You know money's been spent towards your training," he went on, "God knows how much money's been spent on us. So from their

point of view, if I'm not going then I'm taking up someone else's space."

And this, in short, is the problem.

Harry's tour of Afghanistan will be an exercise in spending, what with the special arrangements and extra protection required for himself and his colleagues.

William's time in the Falklands will see the same cost - costs that the MOD shouldn't be able to afford. Earlier this year the coalition government announced the Strategic Defence and Security Review, which outlined the motions for a 7.7 per cent budget reduction for the MOD. The army pulled out of Germany, the Nimrod MRA4 was scrapped and HMS Ark Royal was decommissioned. But more importantly, jobs were lost. Around 50 per cent of trainee pilots - young men and women who had signed away the next four decades of their lives to the Air Force, who had trained for as many as six or seven years, flown hundreds of hours, some of whom had earnt their wings and completed the world's most intensive fast jet training course, and were amongst the best pilots of their generation - were made redundant. Because the Princes aren't salaried in their positions they weren't considered for reduncancy they didn't spend eight months wondering whether they would have a job at the end of the year, or whether they would ever get the chance to do the job they spent every day training for. Had they been subjected to the same assessment process as their

colleagues, the brothers may well have survived the cuts. But then again, they may not have done. Meanwhile, the cost incurred by British defences in supporting the Princes in their roles could have been spent elsewhere - could have saved a job or two.

For, the indisputable truth must be, the money spent on special arrangements for William to train at RAF Cranwell, or for Harry to be in residence at Sandhurst, has overshadowed any contribution they have made to the country's defences. And so, we must ask, why are the second- and thirdin-line heirs to the throne in the forces?

Money the MOD can ill afford is spent to maintain their positions as a surplus of skilled young pilots are made redundant in budget-cutting measures; if this is an exercise in PR then, as the Falklands controversy has shown, it's a spectacularly bad one. The Palace has told the press this.

There was a time when it was a thing of pride to see a country's young Princes in military uniform, serving their country and proving their mettle on the battlefields. But in a climate where their involvement angers nations, potentially endangers comrades and detracts funds from already ailing services busy filing reduncancy notices, perhaps it's time for Royals to show their credibility in purely ceremonial or charitable roles. I'm sure they do want to be pilots - most young men do, I'm told - but now is not the time.

THINK YOU CAN DO BETTER? EMAIL COMMENT@YORKVISION.CO.UK

10 COMMENT

THE VOICE OF

YORK VISION Tuesday November 29, 2011

CON-RAD-ICAL CHANGE NEEDED HELENA KEALEY

I

Vision Says...

t is simply atrocious that the university administration wants to hit next year's first years with drastic and above inflation campus rent rises.

Some would think it would be advisable that with Heslington Hall wanting to charge top end fees of £9,000 they would possibly be slightly more diplomatic with accommodation prices.

Instead Cantor and his buddies think it is perfectly alright to lumber this country's next generation of students with ridiculous rent rises while York slides down the national league tables.

How on earth can the Student Services Committee recommend a price rise of 5.6% in some blocks and 8.6% on other parts of campus?

At the minute the rate of housing inflation in the UK is 0.8%. No student is stupid enough to even contemplate the idea that parts of campus could possibly be ten times better than the average British home.

The university know this. They know that this is a ridiculous contemptuous act. But they also know they have a monopoly on campus housing. Unfortunately, if freshers want a proper first year they are simply going to have to swallow the sour pill of Heslington Hall. But we ask Cantor how long do you think students will put up with this while our uni sinks lower academically?

T

Thumbs up to...

he Masonic Samaritan Fund's great donation to Deafness Research UK for work pioneered and performed at the University of York. This week the fund awarded money for studies into spatial awareness problems for partially sighted people.

In the new post-recession era of penny pinching and budget cutting this is exactly the sort of academic research that the government and the university administration should be planning, encouraging and funding. Vision calls on Brian Cantor, the other bigwigs in Heslington Hall, our esteemed YUSU President Tim Ellis to lead the rousing call for more innovative and helpful work like this.

Too often we hear the cliched (and frankly offensive) comment of "What good is higher education?" It's for great research and innovative outcomes like this, David Willetts (the universities minister) should be safe-guarding the brilliant work of Britain's places of learning.

T

Thumbs down to...

he Gallery nightclub and its ridiculous, infantile, and downright stupid safety management. If a nightclub venue wants to make a pretty penny off both student and nonstudent customers it also has to take responsibility for those customers' welfare.

How on earth does a nightclub see their crime rate rise over 1,000 per cent in only eight weeks?

And what on earth were the bouncers doing on the doors? Checking everyone wasn't wearing trainers and had a criminal record before they were allowed in? Giving people knives? Handing out pamphlets on how to pick pockets?

The story only gets worse when you learn that (among other incidents) a man left The Gallery with visible bite marks and another reveller was admitted entry while wielding a meat cleaver.

Everyone on campus should be asking if teeth marks and weaponry are worth a good night after you have paid extortionate entry fees. Vision predicts the answer will probably be no.

E

veryone knows Conrad. He’s that terrifying, ungodly, bulging wall of muscle, who ripples with frustration and hate outside of Willow.

With every new drunken student, he has to control his first instinct; to slice our faces open with our I.D cards. I’ve seen him headlock drunken students and crush inebriated shoulders into the ground with his elbows.

Even his outfit supports his role of Super Villain: elastic black shirts, and a little luminous arm band, wrapped gently around his bicep (his equivalent of the Super Man logo.). These stretchy tops are so revealing they’d be as effective painted on with boot polish and would save him the trouble of wearing shirts that are so tight they must severely restrict the blood and oxygen flow to that Schwarzenegger body.

It’s terrifying. The love child of Hercules and Voldemort, only the Dutch courage of a night on the town would give us the confidence to approach him.

And he’s fantastic. The wonderful thing about the ‘Voldecules,’ is that, I can’t imagine him in any other role, ever.

I see him wondering into Costa coffee and demanding to see the I.D’s of everyone in the room, breathing steam into the faces of old women for floundering too long in their handbags, and dislocating the arms of businessmen for hanging around in the middle of the floor without purpose. This is exactly what we want in

YORK'S CLUB STAFF SHOULD REMEMBER WHAT THEY ARE THERE FOR a bouncer, and this is the problem with Tokyo.

Conrad understands he is a bouncer.

Not a student, not a raver, not the entertainment. People have not come to see

With every new drunken student he has to control his first instinct; to slice our faces open with our I.D cards. him. They have come to run past him as quickly as possible, brandish their I.D’s in his face, hoping not to get pulverised, and THEN to enjoy themselves. Conrad is there in case anyone oversteps the line, to come down on you like a flash of light, lycra, armband and police speed dial at the ready.

Why is it that Tokyo bouncers and D.J’s repeatedly make the mistake of thinking that somehow, they are more than D.J’s or bouncers? It is not ok for them to pay girls to make out, join in our drinking, or behave in a way that is (as a first year History student commented the last time Vision wrote a story about the behaviour of staff in Tokyo), "cringingly inappropriate, derogatory not just to the people on stage but for all students there too." Not only because it’s "inappropriate and derogatory," which it is,

but also because it’s simply not the point of them. If they were there to entertain the students and managed to somehow spectacularly get it wrong and face plant themselves in a world of dubious morals, then I would still think they were vile but the point is, they’re not supposed to be partying with us at all. They’re supposed to be looking after the club, and us, to a certain extent. That’s the point of them.

I have some sympathy with them, I’ve worked in a place where the people around me were having a wonderful time and I wasn’t allowed to, and it’s really boring and difficult if you can’t involve yourself with any of it. But sadly, the role of a bouncer or D.J isn’t to enjoy the company of drunken teenagers, fill them with booze and get them to act out sexual positions. Tokyo needs to get a grip. It’s really not ok for clubbers to feel vulnerable and abused by the people who are supposed to be watching out for them.

I realise this might sound odd, but Tokyo should really learn some lessons from Willow. Failing that, they should get Conrad to monitor their staff. Hurrah for ‘Voldecules,’ there’s nothing better than a bouncer who understands his job description, and also manages to look like Mr Incredible in black. Learn your lessons Tokyo. We’re bored of these news stories. One last thing: if we’re learning lessons from Willow, maybe some free prawn crackers wouldn’t go a miss.

SHOULD WE VOTE?

CATHERINE GOBERT-JONES

T

he coalition government can be seen as a result of student voting as the student population's support for the Liberal Democrats may have made the resulting coalition possible.

The student population of Britain is a large one, and one of the main policies of the Conservative Party was the much feared increase in tuition fees. The rise of tuition fees was one of the main election issues facing all current and soon-tobe students before the election was decided and this led to a surprise increase in votes for the Lib Dems (a party who before was not seen as one of the dominating parties in comparison with the main two). Then came the nightmare: it was announced that the Lib Dems would be in coalition with one of the other parties, the Conservatives.

However, as hopeful as this moment was when we thought we had saved Higher Education from the forthcoming burden, we did not take into account other policies that concern the country.

Policies such as those on tax, benefits and pensions do not immediately affect a majority of us as we have only just started voting and these policies will only directly affect us in the future. So was the outcome of a coalition government the best outcome for the country at the time, and did we sway the outcome to

DID WE CREATE THE COALITION THAT HAS DONE SO LITTLE FOR US? a coalition government which was both of little benefit to us and to society as a whole? This leads to the even more contentious question: do we have the same right to vote as others not in education, because of our position as economically inactive?

The majority of us are still living at home, not paying taxes, bills, mortgages, or saving for our pensions unlike the majority of the country. Therefore, we are economically inactive, as we are not

When we thought we had saved Higher Education from the forthcoming burden, we did not take into account other policies that concern the country. contributing to the economy through financial means in contrast to the rest of the population. However, for those no longer in education, the election was not just about student fees, but about a wide plethora of issues which are affected by the controlling party. This means that the wrong party can affect both people’s

lifestyle and their futures, in ways that won’t concern us. If a person’s pension is reduced they have no means to improve their situation. We as students, on the other hand, have the rest of our lives to improve on any situation caused by the current government, hopefully through future governments rectifying the situation. So should we really have the same right to vote as our working peers?

Already the coalition has disagreed about policies concerning the NHS and Health, causing unrest for people in the NHS. Indeed, such indecisiveness can effect many aspects of the country.

Would this have happened if there was a single party in charge? The point that the ministers in Government are in separate parties means they have different ideas on how the country should be run.

Perhaps if students didn't have the vote we may not have had this problem.

Personally, I feel that as the future generation we do have the same right to vote as those no longer in higher education. This is because it is important for us to contribute to the political future of our country, as soon we will also be economically active, and as long as we take into consideration all the policies set by each party, why shouldn’t we have the same opportunity?

YORK VISION

COMMENT

11

PHYSICS CAN TEACH US SOME FACTS OF LIFE

Tuesday November 29, 2011

ANMOLI SODHA

W

Olivia Waring HOMEBASE IS SLOW TO CATCH ON AFTER FIBBERS INVENTS THE 'SHAG SHED'

SHOULD YUSU FIGHT FOR 'VALUE FOR MONEY' FOR STUDENTS PAYING 9K?

ANDREAS GABRIELSON

F

YES NO "T

LAUREN BRAY

ollowing the recent society from university, it is his is not the end. It is spent on improving the longterm Higher Education hardly a question whether not even the beginning aspects of the university; rather White Paper and the the union should push for of the end. But it is, per- than being awkwardly parceled beconcessions. decision of the University of haps, the end of the beginning." tween freshers.

While I, as an officer of At the risk of sounding hyperboliYork to increase tuition fees The very principles of unity to £9,000 a question is posed the union argue this view, cally indulgent, this war time man- and solidarity upon which YUSU on whether the Student’s Un- one of the positive aspects tra of fortitude seems a most apt was foundered will be instantly ion should push for more con- of the union itself is that it message to communicate to YUSU betrayed, if they open negotiacessions for students affected is a union by students and given their plans to negotiate our tions with the university, in spite by this change. I will show for students. As all students terms of ideological surrender; of the NUS' suggestion that they that it is the responsibility across the board will be af- before we have even lost the 'anti- refrain from such action. The unof the Union to push for this fected by the fees rise, it is education-cuts-war.' The imple- ion should focus their efforts on with reference to its constitu- also up to them to make a de- mentation of increased fees was a reorganizing anti-cuts campaigns, tion, the view that the policy cision whether they believe defeat that signaled the 'end of the conversing with politicians and of the union is founded on there should be a greater pro- beginning', but not the absolute talking with budgeters to work tothe will of the student body vision of bursaries, scholar- end of what promises to be a long wards the achievement of our long as a whole, and the need to ships and fee waivers to those term struggle. Requesting the al- term goals, such as graduate taxes minimize potential damage who need them. The decision location of 'freebies' for next years in favor of up front charges. lies in the hands of every '9K students', opens up a dialogue from the new fees structure.

Though a refutation of such A key argument in this member of the union. of compromise, which signals our half-hearted attempts of appeaseUltimately, I believe acceptance of the universities deci- ment may result in a materialistidebate can be found set out explicitly in the Constitution higher education should be sion to raise fees. Though a promis- cally Pyrrhic situation for next of the University of York Stu- free in the interest of society. ing idea on paper the reality of this years students, the overall message Many of the advances whose situation is that it marks the sac- conveyed by the unions refusal to dent’s Union: Background Section, effects we enjoy today are a rifice of our long term ideals and negotiate would signal a significlause B (iii) “The union will direct result of academic de- principles. cant moral victory. Reading as an seek at all times to pursue velopment and a desire for The introduction of 9k tuition inspirational tale of not 'selling equal opportunities by taking knowledge. Students should fees is set within the context of an out' in the face of false or tempopositive action within the law be encouraged to pick up the estimated 80% cut to UK Universi- rary promises. The truth of the mantle of previous genera- ties' across the next half decade situation is, that whilst this unito facilitate participation of groups discriminated against tions of academics, and push and the prospect of further cuts versity may be in a position to offer the boundaries further with- is becoming a growing reality. In handouts next year, others are not. by society.”

While this clause has tra- out hindrance. The only way light of this it seems that asking The availability of future funding ditionally been interpreted to ensure this and minimize for and accepting temporary hand- for the UK's educational establishthe adverse effects of the ris- outs would simply be a sacrificing ments is in doubt. We need to take a more in the direction of equal opportunities for stu- ing fees is by campaigning as of long term goals for blindingly firm uncompromising stance today, dents already on campus who a united student body for con- small, short term gains. to ensure that the government (and belong to groups discrimi- cessions.

The 'incentives' decided upon university) take seriously, the need It is embedded in our very and offered to next years students to secure a less austere tomorrow. nated against by society, this clause can be interpreted to constitution to counteract may well turn out to be reminis- YUSU can not be criticized for not facilitate campaigns for con- the worst effects of the rise in cent of the marketing tactics em- 'doing their best' to help next years cessions to allow less advan- fees. The responsibility lies ployed by our favorite banks: 'Open students, but to borrow once again taged people access to higher in our hands, as students and an account with us today and we'll from Churchill, ''It's not enough education at all. If the argu- as a union. give you a free shower radio !' - In that we do our best; sometimes we Andreas Gabrielson is the end, the money and freebies have to do what's required'' and in ment against increased fees YUSU Campaigns Officer. is based on the exclusion of that YUSU manage to requisition this situation what is required is less advantaged members of would probably be more wisely an ardency of belief and a firm, Have an opinion? YUSU is having a debate about this topic on Thursday at 6.30pm in L/047

e are at university to have fun, make friends, to live independently…and somewhere amongst the heady mix of alcohol, sleep deprivation and instant noodles hopefully learn a thing or two. We do this because most of us acknowledge that we don’t actually know everything. We accept that the justification for spending three years without a full-time job is a perceived gain in academic knowledge and life skills. Who knows, maybe in our third year we will have actually learnt how to erase a Willow stamp within 24 hours.

Despite this begrudging recognition of our ignorance, there are some ideas that have been instilled in us from birth, to the point that they are considered facts of life that we take for granted, as certain as death and taxes. As such, it was slightly alarming to wake up a few weeks ago and read that everything we thought we understood about time and space could be wrong.

Einstein’s Theory of Relativity, though contentious at its conception, has grown to be accepted by the majority of the scientific community. His theory of Special Relativity postulates that the speed of light is the maximum speed that anything with mass can travel; a universal speed limit.

Though Einstein may not have known the exact value of the speed of light when he suggested his theory, its basic idea has been held as true, without any exceptions, until this September. Antonio Ereditato and his team at CERN in Switzerland have seemingly found that some types of Neutrinos, a sub-atomic particle with a disputed but small non-zero mass, travel faster than the speed of light. Though these findings are very heavily disputed by the scientific community, if the results are confirmed by further testing as true, they present a paradigm shift from Einstein’s theory, and to assumptions that society has passively made for many decades. The results found at CERN imply that the law of cause and effect based on observation can no longer be held sacrosanct. For example, say a Neutrino was fired at a device which lit up as it was hit, we would see the device light up before we observed the Neutrino hitting the device.

One would think that it is the scientists, particularly physicists, who would be the most shaken by these findings; though this might be true to the extent that these results are most relevant in their fields, this is actually not the case.

They seem to be one of fields of academic studies that accept change the most readily. It is in fact us, the laypeople, who find change the most worrying, as we are not often made to call into question not only what we call the “facts” of life, but the basis upon which we form our notion of “facts”.

Though these findings may incite various feelings ranging from excitement to confusion in us, they are at the very least a sobering reminder that not only do we not know everything, but also that there are arguably very few absolute truths, and that we in “fact” know nearly nothing.

JOIN THE DEBATE AT WWW.YORKVISION.CO.UK/COMMENT

12 SATIRE

YORK VISION

Tuesday November 29, 2011

THE SKETCH T I BM

This Is Beneath Me

You spent three years and £20k on a degree...

Now where do you go?

Discover your future with TIBM Do you want to earn £12k a year with no prospect of promotion?

Would you like to be part of an indifferent, disinterested team?

Can you see yourself moving back in with your parents?

How would you like to work in offices all over the country; Slough, Hull and Luton?

Job Requirements Any degree (even History of Art).

Must be able to work under extreme pressure with little recognition or encouragement.

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Only got a third? Don't worry, if you can read you're a step ahead of most of our candidates!

No extra-curricular activies? As long as you can type we don't care!

Just look how happy our employees are!* *Actual happiness may vary.

TIBM: BECAUSE, BE HONEST, WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

FEATURES

YORK VISION Tuesday November 29, 2011

13

>Features NO BUSINESS LIKE MONKEY SHOW BUSINESS JAMES BUGG swings into the not-so-glamourous world of Hollywood monkeys...

M

onkeys. Mother Nature’s entertainers.

Misbehaving…Swinging from branches…

Trying it on with anything that moves. Basically the Colin Farrell of the jungle. Since the very first days of Hollywood, monkeys (or non-human simians as I should probably refer to them, so as to include great apes as well…), have dazzled audiences with their natural comic timing and gymnastic prowess. Sharing this fascination encouraged me to investigate further the evolution of monkey-cinema and the rise of jungle VIPs, along the way encountering several issues about the morality and longevity of this phenomenon; all of which has prompted me to ask, "are we really that far away from our first monkey Oscar winner?"

(Answer: Yes).

pearing in a film became almost as much of an expectation as the closing credits. Monkeys have continued to be used in cinema to ask important questions that would be impossible with humans alone. How would a chimp fare playing junior league ice hockey (MVP: Most Valuable Primate)? Or, what if a helper monkey turned into a serial killer (Monkey Shines)? Indeed, Azerbaijani television has even used monkey actors for biting political satire in the so-bizarrelynamed-you-couldn’t-make-it-up Monkey Please, Sophocles!

Along the way to becoming a Hollywood institution monkeys have ‘written’ autobiographies and even applied for a Hollywood Walk of Fame star (both Cheeta the chimp). Success hasn’t just been limited to the most ‘human’

Little is known of the actor who played King Kong himself, except of course that he had a brief affair with Marlene Dietrich.

Back in the glory days of Hollywood, when it was acceptable to paint dwarves blue and stick wings on their backs in the name of entertainment, roles for monkey actors were limited. Often they were restricted to being typecast in endless Tarzan flicks, as opposed to the more challenging roles The Wizard of Oz offered. King Kong exploded public interest in apes to hysteric levels, making superstars out of monkey thespians. Unfortunately, little is known of the actor who played King Kong himself, except of course that he had a brief affair with Marlene Dietrich and died from an adverse reaction to the peanuts he was paid in.

However, from these humble beginnings a Hollywood tradition was born and a monkey ap-

looking simians. Chimpanzees, gorillas and orangutans have all appeared in films, but most notably the capuchin has featured heavily in recent cinema. In particular Binks has become a familiar furry face, having starred in George of the Jungle, Ace Ventura and Outbreak. Indeed their prominence is such that some actors, such as Matt le Blanc, have appeared with-ape in multiple productions, becoming the go-toguy for all credible comedy writers.

Here I feel is a good point to bring in some context. When writing this article, I expected the role of the monkey in cinema to be a far more light-hearted tale than it turned out to be. I assumed the naturally entertaining monkey to be in its element

FROM PETA.ORG Who's Hurting Chimpanzees Now? Should a wild animal be forced to sell car insurance, dance the Macarena, or smoke cigars to provoke a laugh? Not that it matters if there were millions of chimpanzees around to abuse, but a new study concludes that chimpanzees may be doomed as a species as long as the public continues to see them in commercials and movies.

LOUIE THE CHIMPANZE

Most Valuable Primate

Judgement:

Worse than Keanu

Perhaps he was let down by the script, but rarely have I laughed less at a monkey. Even with a hockey mask on. Doesn’t even hit the heights of Keanu in ‘Bill and Ted’.

Keanu Rating

BINKS THE CAPUCHIN Ace Ventura Judgement:

Beats Keanu

A great monkey performance. Gaining just as many laughs as Carrey, and far more subtle. I’d feel more comfortable casting the capuchin as Diane Keaton’s love interest in ‘Something’s Gotta Give’.

Keanu Rating

MANIS THE ORANGUTAN Every Which Way But Loose

Judgement:

Beats Keanu

Rare is it for Eastwood to be upstaged, let alone by an ape.

But Clyde achieves it. His playacting when ‘shot’ by Clint is far more convincing than the bulk of Keanu’s action roles.

Keanu Rating

when on set. But perhaps this is not the case. With the release of Rise of the Planet of the Apes this year, and Hollywood's ever-striving attempt to achieve maximum realism, are we losing monkeys playing monkeys due to their obvious limitations? Or is it something more sinister?

Shockingly, in the 1980 Ruggero Deodato horror Cannibal Holocaust, a squirrel monkey was brutally beheaded for a scene in the film. Further still, this scene had to be reshot costing another monkey its life. In the UK, amongst other countries, the film was then only allowed to be released with most of the animal cruelty cut; a futile waste of life.

Whilst violence against animals is thankfully no longer tolerated on the big screen, allegations of cruelty are still rife. Crystal the monkey from the not-so-funny Hangover Two, was earlier this year alleged to have developed an addiction to cigarettes after being taught to smoke for the film's plot. This was later denied amidst reports director Todd Phillips started the rumour as a (badly thought out) PR stunt. In fact, the film company claimed to have used

ing taken from their homes when a child and forced to perform... perhaps this is a bad example.

Hollywood luminaries such as Angelica Huston (or Morticia Addams if fictional characters carry more moral weight for you) have joined PETA in highlighting the distress caused to animals, in particular great apes, in film and TV production.

PETA have previously compiled reports on animal agencies such as Steve Martin’s (not that one) Working Wildlife, who in May of last year were said to mistreat their chimpanzee Suzy on the set of Drop Dead Diva. Martin allegedly "yanked Suzy’s ears, pulled her hair, continuously tugged at the leash attached to her leg, and yelled at her to the extent that she cowered because of the loud and threatening tone that the trainer used toward her."

Distinct from such cases of animal abuse, it appears there are also similar moral issues as those surrounding the quality of life in zoos. It would seem, unfortunately, monkey actors aren’t quite afforded luxury trailers or champagne Jacuzzis as I assumed they were. Perhaps no-one is entitled to a champagne Jacuzzi; this may be something I’ve

"The chimpanzee 'grin' so often seen in movies and on television is actually a grimace of fear" fake cigarettes in the scenes. Yet the AHA (American Humane Association who award the ‘No Animals Were Harmed’ disclaimer), were allegedly refused access to the set or an early screening. The film still does not contain the AHA’s disclaimer in its credits.

But even if it had, according to PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), this wouldn't be enough to assure viewers of the animal stars' treatment. They describe the AHA's seal of approval as "extremely misleading to filmmakers and audiences alike." It does not take into account living conditions off set, pre-production training or separation of infants from their families in their natural habitat. The latter is of particular concern to PETA, as it can cause severe psychological problems for monkeys throughout their lifetime. PETA’s website states that "the chimpanzee 'grin' so often seen in movies and on television is actually a grimace of fear.” Imagine, if you will, Britney Spears, or any other member of the Disney club, be-

imagined. Still, the argument of welfare campaigners, as exemplified in the recent Planet of the Apes film, is that we are moving further and further away from the necessity of monkey actors in films due to special effects and technology. Although we may lose great monkey actors such as Binks the Capuchin, hopefully more potential actors of his kind will be enjoying their natural habitats instead and Matt le Blanc may be able to land a gig again. Win win.

As a possibility for the future, with human actors such as Andy Serkis carving a niche acting as a monkey, we humans could be in films for the monkeys. This was seen in LA artist Rachel Mayeri’s recent exhibition ‘Private Cinema: Apes as Family’, showing a film of human’s portraying monkeys to a distinctly chimp audience; unlikely. As likely is the chance of us seeing the definitive monkey ‘human-animal’ buddy picture to follow genre greats such as ‘Andre’ (seals), ‘Free Willy’ (orcas) and ‘The Football Factory’ (Danny Dyer).

14FEATURES

YORK VISION Y

"SHAME ON YOU,

Tuesday November 29, 2011 T

ADAM COE GIVES A FIRST HAND ACCOUNT OF THE TRAUM

“S

hame on you, shame on you!” was the chant directed at the police after Lieutenant John Pike of the University of California Davis Police Department nonchalantly pepper-sprayed students sitting on the ground, in peaceful protest, on their own university campus. Those words resonated far and wide; 24 hours later the resulting YouTube video had garnered 400,000 views, the machinery of international news was taking notice and even our own beloved Daily Mail, 6,000 miles away, used their favourite

the middle of a campus with an administration guilty of mechanised brutality. It was planned, it was unprovoked and it was America doing what it does best - suppressing the values it was built upon.

The police were aiming to disintegrate the small 'quasi-Occupy' movement which had set up camp only two days earlier.

The movement had one central message; "no to fee rises". I was there on the first day and two days later it seemed to be losing momentum. The UCD Faculty association had supported a

"I closed my eyes. My arm was around my girlfriend and I kissed her cheek...Then it happened." word to describe the scenes “shocking”.

I was there, witnessing the events unfold, and "shocking" is an understatement, as the million-times-over reproduced photograph shows. They came, they abused and they marched off. They brought riot gear, they brought guns and they brought batons. And they did this to suppress education at the heart of campus.

It was surreal to be a University of York student – last year living in our gentle parochial English town – and this year in

day's strike and organised a rally on the Tuesday of that week. The tents on the UC Davis Main Quad sprung up on the Wednesday.

That same day, I went to the state Capitol in Sacramento as part of the student governments of Davis and Berkeley. We lobbied legislators and they nodded their heads. We played important and they played sincere and it was all very civilised. The local news channels publicised our plight - but does watching impassioned speeches, sensible conversation and sad faces do much for the general viewer? The ambiva-

Chancellor Linda Katehi's "walk of shame".

lent 99 per cent?

By Friday - the day the police moved in - the feeling on the UC Davis campus was that students were fast forgetting the movement's significance. There was the lecturers' strike, that week's cancelled UC Regents meeting where they were to discuss an 81 per cent increase in UC fees and the solidarity they were supposed to feel for students and lecturers at UC Berkeley who had been beaten by the batons of campus police the week before.

The disruption of the early part of the week was losing its effect.

But the actions of the police and the reaction of the world media enraged and energised.

So, what really happened on that day? This is what I saw.

What was left of the protest was sitting on the ground refusing to move. Police were standing their ground, and the protestors sitting theirs. There was a genuine impasse between emblems of education and figures of law.

Enter stage right Lieutenant Pike. He takes out his canister, righteously cocks it back, points it at the beginning of the line and pulls the trigger. He walks up and down a number of times, lightly oscillating his aim so no student can hide. I immediately remembered the stomach-churning screeches of onlookers in the video of baton-wielding UC Berkeley police. This was worse.

It was initially horror and distress, then rage. I stepped away, sickened.

Interspersed among the crowd are six-foot-five bulldozers, shock and cameras. Pike stands arrogantly in the centre of the commotion. Annette Spicuza, head of the UC Davis police would later say that the police were encircled and trapped.

She was rightly suspended, and wouldn't be at work the next week. Suddenly, the police are back in formation and they are marching away.

David Buscho was hospitalised by Pike's pepper-spray, and says he was caught completely by surprise. “Pike was standing behind us, shaking up the pepper spray cans. Then he stepped over us. Because he was behind us while preparing the cans, he caught me completely off guard.

Until that moment I was still expecting to get shot in the back with paintball bullets.

“Someone yelled 'Oh my God, pepper spray' and I closed my eyes. My arm was around my girlfriend and I kissed her cheek.

My friends buried their faces into their chests and then it happened. I entered a world of pain, it felt like hot glass was enter-

Students cover their faces when confronted with pepper spray d ing my eyes, I couldn't see anything... I couldn't breathe; I could feel my friends and my girlfriend writhing in pain...I was paralysed with fear.”

Buscho went on to start an online petition for the resignation of Chancellor Linda Katehi.

It now has almost 100,000 signatories.

One of the salient visual features of the incident on video is the defencelessness of those sit-

ries sustained in the short run. I heard of one girl still coughing up blood 45 minutes after she was attacked.

In the midst of community members treating victims, the human microphone of the Occupy movement signalled the very first stage of non-violent retaliation. The human microphone consists of call-and-repeat so everyone can hear what someone has to say. The resolve of the few

"I entered a world of pain, it felt like hot glass...I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe; I could feel my friends writhing in pain. I was paralysed with fear." ting down. Yet the pepper-spray utterly failed as an offensive measure. Instead, the students curled up like wood-lice - they shielded each other. And at once they represented the entire UC Davis student body, cowering from the problems they, as Americans, face in 2011. The result was impossible to ignore could be felt in the air minutes later as the noxious dust settled.

That's not to undermine the inju-

left followed - we would be back on the Quad on Monday and the protest would continue. When Monday reared its head, the dawn of a new week would welcome the dawn of a new protest.

Five thousand people would join in solidarity including busloads from the other University of California campuses. Five thousand people would return to the very same place.

Suddenly there was a cam-

p O s b d o p s D a s l i f w t t s l w w p u t

t d t l o r b

o r d s o I

YORK VISION

FEATURES

15

SHAME ON YOU!"

Tuesday November 29, 2011

UMATIC EVENTS AT THE UC DAVIS CAMPUS LAST WEEK

y during a peaceful protest. pus-wide identification with the Occupy movement, at least insofar as it privileges books over batons. Adam Thonsgavat, President of the Associated Students of UC Davis, tells me, “Once police pepper sprayed students, something was awakened in Davis which we haven't seen for a very long time - it was students suddenly wanting to become political and becoming interested in debate. Friday wasn't any different; it was the police action which brought all these questions to the fore, why did they do this? Why did they use pepper spray? Speaking with campus leadership after, I said 'good luck with this nightmare'. It's awful what happened and I don't think people realised how bad it was until they saw the video. Now things are very different.”

I was with one of the Senators of the ASUCD as she broke down in tears in a television interview five minutes after the police left the Quad. Like the boxer on the ropes given some time to regroup, we were going to come back stronger.

As expected in today's world of hyper-communication, the reaction spread on social media like wildfire serving to super-charge the momentum of a burgeoning movement.

I remembered the futility of

York's admirable, but essentially failed, sit-in last year against fee rises. Suddenly, as things were on the verge here too, everyone cared. Within two hours, Nathan Brown, Associate Professor of English at UC Davis had blogged a remarkable open letter demanding the resignation of UC Davis Chancellor, Linda Katehi.

Brown was a leading figure in the initial lecturers' strike on the Tuesday, earlier that week.

In his letter, Brown follows the rhetoric of an email Katehi had written to the campus community just days earlier responding to racially motivated hate-crimes on campus. In it, she reiterates UC Davis' 'Principles of Community'.

In response, Brown writes, “Your words express concern for the safety of our students.

Your actions express no concern whatsoever for the safety of our students. I deduce from this discrepancy that you are not, in fact, concerned about the safety of our students. Your actions directly threaten the safety of our students. And I want you to know that this is clear.”

He continues, “I call for your resignation because you are unfit to do your job. You are unfit to ensure the safety of students at UC Davis. In fact: you are the primary threat to the safety of

students at UC Davis. As such, I call upon you to resign immediately. " That evening Brown's letter and the YouTube video of the afternoon had gone viral.

It brought the light of national media attention to the campus, reinforcing the feeling that something incredibly wrong had happened.

The human microphone echoed - “Mic check! (mic check!) one two! (one two!) - we are the top story! (we are the top story!)

- of cnn.com! (of cnn.com!) - the world is listening! (the world is listening!)” This was Saturday evening, one day later. Chancellor Katehi had called a press conference for that afternoon and once she could be pinpointed she was to be peacefully besieged.

She was now the focus of anger and people wanted answers. I got there at about six p.m and, how it happened I don't know, but the students had formed themselves in two parallel lines outside the door to the press conference. Almost 1000 pairs of linked arms snaked their way around the roads of the UC Davis campus waiting for the Chancellor.

Inside, a terrified Katehi refused to come out. “We just wanted to confront her personally, but really we didn't have anything to say or do. Peaceful protest was essential and our actions would speak louder than words,” UC Davis student Joe Sheppard says, “she knew what we were thinking, and she knew where responsibility lay.”

When she finally emerged, the crowd sat down in a line forming a human path for her to walk through. It was an immensely powerful gesture. And as she tentatively made her way to her car, surrounded by news crews, I started to see that the trajectory of the protest was taking – upwards and outwards.

This was about justice, trust and respect, and the Chancellor, it was seen, stood emblematic in opposition to those values.

As she waded through a river of silent prying eyes, she looked a shadow. “Will you talk to the students?” a reporter asked. “I will address them at their General Assembly on Monday,” she replied - the only thing she said on her walk of shame.

The rally on Monday was incredible. There were testimonies, there was solidarity and there was hope that the trajectory of the protest could evoke

sage. "Chancellors need to be held accountable to the students and faculty when they jeopardise their safety, i.e. by sending riot police in to break up a protest," he told. "UC students have a right to assemble without fear of retribution from the administration and discuss issues that affect our future. The university's response was clearly proportional to how inconvenient they found our cause.”

This has truly been a week of madness. But can you remember why this all started? It's not because of the horrific picture

"If it is this difficult to hold an administration accountable for such a heinous incident, then we simply cannot fight tuition hikes yet." change. But the news-crews were most interested in Chancellor Katehi's precarious position.

Just as quickly as they affected momentum for the protest, they switched their attention. The slogans of this event were emotively hopeful, in stark contrast to the “shame” directed at police on Friday; “we're students united, we'll never be divided,” and “tell me what democracy looks like, this is what democracy looks like,” being two favourites.

Five thousand people gathered and the Occupy tents sprang up again. A General Assembly to form demands emerged from the darkness of Friday's disbandment. Pepper-sprayed David Buscho spoke passionately at the rally for the (gradually changing) focus of the protests mes-

which adorns this article, and it's not because the Chancellor of UC Davis should resign. The reason this started is that old humbug – tuition fee rises.

David says, “I don't think people have lost sight of the fee hike debate, but if it is this difficult to hold an administration accountable for such an obviously heinous incident, then we simply cannot realistically fight tuition hikes yet. But change is in the air, I believe.”

Before the reactionary fervour ignited, the whole movement was losing the personal investment of the majority. It took something terrible to mobilise discussion again and I hope David's right, I hope change is in the air.

5,000 students turn out in anger at the treatment of peaceful protests on their campus.

16 FEATURES

YORK VISION Tuesday November 29, 2011

SHE'S THE LADY

JACK KNIGHT quizzes Rachel Johnson on editing The Lady and living with the Johnsons.

S

hyness has never been a trait of the Johnson family and magazine editor Rachel Johnson is certainly characteristic of her familial clan.

At a Johnson family event you will find father Stanley, brothers Boris, Jo and Leo and sister Rachel. Between them they have served as Mayor of London, been MP for Orpington, sat in the European Parliment, edited the political magazine The Spectator, sat in the House of Commons for Henley-on-Thames, been a part-

job would then attempt to maintain a low profile. It is doubtful as to whether the Johnsons know what “maintain a low profile” means. And if they know what it means they probably think it weird, creepy and anathema.

Instead of keeping quiet the new Editor allowed Channel 4 to film a fly-on-the-wall documentary about hersef, her newly inherited magazine and her attempts to turn the publication around.

“The Lady and the Revamp” was sometimes embarrassing, some-

"Magazines should be about producing unique content and packaging it well."

ner at Price Waterhouse Cooper and edited the oldest woman's weekly publication in the world.

Some people, if their whole family was constantly walking the halls of power, might feel a little overwhelmed. Not Rachel Johnson. Boris’ sister has penned four books, written for pretty much every British newspaper and magazine that matters, earned the 2008 “Bad Sex in Fiction” Prize and now edits The Lady magazine. When questioned over any residual familial jealousy she might have Johnson swipes the question away. “I am really very proud of my brothers. They are great people, some of the nicest in the world.”

Having a quick mind and an even quicker tongue is something that Johnson has had to use to the best of her abilities in the two years since she took over The Lady. The publication had seen better days, to put it mildly.

From selling 70,000 weekly copies in the Thatcher era the family publishers (the Budworths) were now finding it a struggle to flog a third of that. Ben Budworth called on Johnson to take up post and rectify the problem.

What Johnson inherited was little more than a journalistic joke. Due to its mediocre front covers that have included photos of owls, cats, flower arrangements and (most perplexingly) a woman painting on the edge of a cliff and its disparate articles, such as half a page on cucumbers, The Lady had simply become an easy target for media mockery. Johnson’s first decision – no more cucumbers! “If they want to know about cucumbers they would just look it up online.

Magazines should be about producing unique content and packaging it well.”

Most people with such a challenging

times awe-inspiring, but always entertaining. Does Johnson have any regrets about letting the cameras in? “If people saw it and now know about The Lady because of it, I think it was a good idea.”

But even the jovial Johnson has to concede that the documentary didn’t go entirely to plan, admitting “It may well have looked like a pant o m i m e. ” The Lady may have l o o k e d like a pantomime, but the

treatment of Johnson was even worse. “It didn’t show me being nice and kind. It showed me stropping about the office and rolling my eyes. I like to think I am not like that. I literally watch it through my fingers now.”

Topping off all this was an argument Johnson had with her publishers which ended with her storming to her office and calling The Lady "a piddling little magazine that nobody reads" - hardly the best way to publicise your publication or cement your current readership. This is the only time Johnson sounds unsure of herself when she explains; "I actually said 'compared to the Sunday Times Magazine we are a piddling little magazine that nobody reads.' It was all in the context of the argument and I was so cross with my publisher."

If “The Lady and the Revamp” made the magazine look like a pantomime, a newspaper interview with the co-owner and mother of the publisher was about to make the whole institution look like a complete circus.

Julia Budworth is, in the words of Johnson, “a genuinely quite intimidating British battleaxe.” This is a measured assessment. Zoe Williams (of the Guardian) was not quite so kind w h e n she described the publish-

er's mother as a "standard P.G.Wodehouse dragon", a fitting description considering one of The Lady's Literary Editors once rejected the great comedic author's short stories.

While Johnson remains uncharacteristically tight-lipped about her publishing matriach, Budworth has no qualms saying whatever she likes about her Editor. In an interview with The Independent, Julia Budworth stingingly remarked that Johnson “is using The Lady as a vehicle for her own promotion...it's all about her”, that she is “paid far too much”, and, somewhat perplexingly, “You can’t get her away from a penis...she is basically a boy” as well as labelling her a snob, a social climber and vain.

However, sticking to her editorial namesake Johnson remains ever the lady when faced with these comments. She admits that the remarks were “all quite hurtful”. But instead of focussing on this she moves quickly on to the silver-lining of Julia Budworth’s slightly odd

cedes that "It is quite hard editing a weekly magazine," but goes on to describe it as "the best job in the world."

The only concession Johnson makes is that she still has a challenge ahead of her. "I think we hold a niche position. We can't compete with celebrity tittle tattle such as Grazia. And we can't compete with specialist magazines such as The Economist. We are a general interest intelligent woman's weekly with a unique selling point of classififed adverts." She also admits that The Lady has not been immune to the realities of the media market, explaining that "the woman's weekly market is constantly going down."

But Johnson remains achingly, painfully and radiantly optimistic about the future, “The Lady is offering something independent and different. Most of the media is in a downward projection where they are focussing on markets that are obsessed with celebrity babies and cellulite. I think magazines can occupy higher ground and I think

"I have an incredible boudoir of an office next to one of the oldest restaurants in London by Covent Garden." penile input. “Weirdly, it was the best PR I could ever have hoped for. My male Twitter followers doubled overnight. But I have no idea why she made the comment.”

For most people enduring a very public character assasinaion from one of their bosses would mean not just walking out on the job, they would be frantically grabbing their belongings as they called a taxi while sprinting out of the building. But quitting doesn’t seem to be in Johnson’s nature. “At times it did get quite unpleasant. But it was also hysterically funny.”

When asked if she is still enjoying herself she can't help but gush “I have my incredible boudoir of an office, next to one of the oldest restaurants in London, right by Covent Garden. It couldn’t be a better location. And it couldn’t be better editing a woman’s weekly.” When pressed she con-

that is where The Lady is. If you build it, people will come.”

By the end of the interview I still know that The Lady has flat-lining circulation in a highly competitive market which sees its profits and readership spiralling in a downwards circle.

There is no logical way Johnson can pull this off.

But Johnson defies logic. She accepted the poisioned chalice of print journalism when she became Editor of The Lady. She took on an editorial team that had been in place seemingly longer than time itself. She invited a film crew to document her at her new job. She remodels stinging public criticism from her publisher’s mother into plucky anecdotes and positive asides about Twitter. She even manages to charismatically eclipse the rest of the Johnson family, a mammoth task when you're related to the walking, talking charisma machine that is Boris Johnson.

If her editorship has demonstrated anything it has shown that Johnson can beat logic... just.

Rachel Johnson's latest book - "The Diary of the Lady: My First Year as Editor" is available now in paperback.

LIFESTYLE

YORK VISION

Tuesday November 29, 2011

>Lifestyle

In this issue:

17

P 18 - Formal Fashion P 19 - Gourmet Gifts P 20 - Six Bottles of Beer on the Wall?

P 21 - Christmas Conflict P 22 - Furry Fun

Christmasses To Do...

Shop 'Til You Drop

ents. ght shopping ev d What? Late ni city centre an e th in Thursday When? Every onks Cross. every day at M u can get the en until late yo op s op od! sh of ts With lo ed holiday peri otherwise pack s ao ch re nt ce most out of your ty y avoiding the ci ks Cross on M to Perhaps you fanc n w do ich case head altogether, in wh ght! They start t events every ni gh ni te la on Sunday 4th for their gs in pm store open 00 -9. th. m 0a 9.0 r ei th ughout the mon they'll run thro gular re s, op December and sh et re vourite high st t With all your fa g it's the perfec and free parkin n, w to buses from ress-free. place to shop st

Vision's guide to all the festive goings on

Sarah Woods

He's Behind You!

Panto. mily Robinson What? York Fa l. ya Ro e tr ea Where? York Th ds. cember onwar When? 15th De traditions. brilliant British of ll fu is r te in W turkey and erful, like roast Some are wond e eggnog, lik e are strange, trimmings, som e mulled lik l, fu aw wnright and some are do d some, An . ily arguments wine-fuelled fam as the most m st ri Ch e ime, mak like the pantom h (O no they nt time of year eclectic, brillia don't! Sorry.). e Berwick e 33rd year, Dam In his remarkabl York Family 's ar ye inging this Kaler will be br an unusual Theatre Royal; Robinson to the c Swiss Famsi as cl childhood blending of the ish novel, d the first Engl ily Robinson an t opportunity ec rf . It’s the pe Robinson Crusoe a good belly down and have to let your hair laugh.

A Very Vintage

Christmas

What? A th oroughly re tro vintage Where? St W fair. illiam's Col lege, York.

When? Satu rday 3rd Dec ember.

Much more than is an entire da your average vintage fa ir, this y of live mus ic, luxurious bars, traditio beauty nal bunting w orkshops an tessential te d quinarooms. A ve ry reasonable of £1 will ra entry fee ise money fo r lo that war m gl cal charities ow - feel Take the oppo inside! rtunity to hu nt ly original gi fts that are gu out some brilliantar your friends and family. Sp anteed to impress end the day in shopping, dabbling meanderings through the and sharing stalls a moment un der mistletoe ...

Nicholas Du nn-McAfee

of Angels.

What? Festival ty centre.

Where? York ci ay 11th Decem 10th and Sund ay rd When? Satu ber. nd of ice-sculpwinter wonderla Described as 'A mber will see ce De of 10th-11th r. Get into the tures', weekend ent like no othe ev e iv g st fe a st York ho ekend of amazin it and enjoy a we ir et sp re st as d m st an ri ts Ch shmen gift stalls, refre more ice sculptures, this event even es ak m at wh d An ! ts rs ke ne tic ai rt or te e en try fe e! There's no en rience pe ex to fantastic? It's fre re nt ce way to the city r just make your visityork.org fo t. Head to www. en ev this unique more details.

Sarah Woods

-McAfee

Nicholas Dunn

Get Your Skates

g That Festival Feelin

On!

What? Chri stmas Mark et & Ice Skat Where? Yor ing k Designer Outlet When? 17th December on wards.

For the festiv e season the outlet’s desi feature a Chr gner offering istmas marke s t, comprisin chalets pack g 20 wooden ed with hand made toys, je and decorati wellery, card ons. The awar s d-winning ou rink returns tdoor ice for its sevent h year, creati table winter ng a veriwonderland in the ground with lit up fo s, complete rest, 30ft Chr is tmas tree an From 17th D d reindeer. ecember unti l Christmas Grotto will al Eve Santa’s so be open to vi thousands of sitors daily.

Tens of shoppers floc k to the tran grounds of th sfor med e Designer O ut and this Chr istmas is expe let each year, cted to be th cessful yet. A e most suct the sides of the 900 squa shoppers wil re meter rink l fine hot food and rinks, in a selection of cluding wines, spirit s, beers, and mulled wine, war ming sloe gin or ho t chocolate.

Maddy Potts

18 LIFESTYLE

YORK VISION

Tuesday November 29, 2011

Winter Wardrobe Wonders Nicholas Dunn-McAfee & Felicity Peddle guide you through the party season...

C

haps, winter is the season to ooze sophistication; so now's the time to make the moment count and prepare for the myriad of social events coming your way.

As all the dapper gents know, the winter balls and society meals are a time for understated masculine elegance. Black tie should be adhered to rigorously, but not without your own little twists. Opt for suede loafers instead of dress shoes to stand out or adopt a sophisticated but eyecatching patent skinny belt to complement the black bow tie.

Velvet is not just the soft playing-field of the fairer gender. Harkening back to the halcyon days of the smoking jackets of dandy gents before us, velvet is making a dignifed foray back to the world of smart gentwear. Not just limited to a the traditional red blazer, try a velvet scarf to smarten up your favourite shirt and add texture to your ensemble; Peter Worth offer the perfect combination of luxury and wearability. Topman have a number of great pieces, including this red blazer and a great purple

N

ow that it’s December, get ready for the party season by preparing your wardrobe!

If you are heading to a college ball, go for glamour and stand out. Sequins are very fashionable this season, and there are some fabulous glittery cocktail dresses in New Look. An added bonus is that they are currently 25% off – what more encouragement do you need?

If you’re not interested in sparkles, how about velvet? If you want to splash out, Topshop’s ‘Dress up’ concession has some gorgeous velvet dresses in a great selection of luscious shades and cuts. For a little less money, have a look in Deep Vintage Fashion near the Piccadilly bus stop – there are similar dresses in a few more colours. For another alternative browse H&M’s ‘Conscious*’ collection for a great range of ethical party dresses in all styles for under £12 – well within a student budget.

one. ZARA also has fantastic eveningwear this season, from this deep burgundy jacket to traditional black tie suits for relatively reasonable prices.

Take a more casual approach when sauntering around campus, The Courtyard or further affield. Moving on from their summer cousin - the chino, cords are perfect for effortless cool this cold

Warm woolly jumpers are popping up everywhere this season - grab one from Deep or Purple Haze and show them off when you go home – not everywhere has such good vintage shops so take advantage of them while you’re in York. However, you don’t need to dress up for every Christmas occasion.

For your end of term trips to the pub, liven up a pair of jeans with a pretty blouse – look in Zara for quirky patterns and Mango for sheer and chiffon.

It’s getting pretty cold outside

ZARA

month. Warmer and just as smart, go for dark red to really stand out or play it safe with a light brown: no male wardrobe should be without a pair.

Finally, cast off last years coat and embrace one of the hot new styles to keep you warm on these bitterly cold mornings. Typically one of the most risky fashion buys you'll make, your winter coat should be carefully considered. Duffle coats are the perfect nod to masculine naval. Brighten up the winters blue with a striking red, or team an earthy brown with some black skinny jeans to accentuate the vintage vibe.

Topshop

Miss Selfridge

Topman

!

SHOP

s race air g cember F e ntag n on De sts and i i le Vi rdab once agantage-tw as! o f f m A i t v s m 's i YorkHospitiu get your for Chr The . Go and s in time 15th ired gift insp

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The T Thur empest s man sday and tor ms Yor the r productio Friday: th k this oof. n pro i mise s two s to r aise

now, though no one wants to lug a coat around on a night out. Invest in a lightweight blazer which will add extra warmth to the beer jacket and is easy to tie around your handbag strap – H&M brought out a great oversized blazer this season, available in black, navy or beige for only £19.99 – a perfect finishing touch to any outfit. Mango also have a great selection of blazers to see you through the next few party months.

!

N E T S LI

ork n up re a from Y me of a s b d ed so u n a C es. gb da as Pan -comin st rele on itun u d -an have j ounds who r dark s thei

LIFESTYLE

YORK VISION Tuesday November 29, 2011

Festive Food

19

Sophie Hackett and Rachel Longhurst aim to ease your food concerns with some gourmet gift ideas and some advice on cooking for the masses...

I

’ll admit, Christmas is my favourite time of the year. Not because I'm one of those people who starts singing Christmas songs as soon as Halloween is over; it’s the food. A hearty roast, piles of steaming vegetables and copious amounts of wine. Coming from a big, loud Italian family (see My Big Fat Greek Wedding for an easy explanation), I have been helping out in the kitchen since I was old enough to reach the counter, and to this day I love nothing more than cooking for as many people as I can fit round the table.

My strict timetabling of Christmas dinner may have led to my festive nickname of the kitchen dictator, but at least the food was hot, yummy and every one had a good time. On that note, the first and most vital stage for me when planning a big meal involves a blank sheet of paper and a pencil. Call me a nerd, but I couldn't have gotten through my Christmas dinner in Vanbrugh last year without writing a

meticulous schedule for the day ahead. I may have been mocked for my incessant list taking for almost everything, but the fact is it makes Christmas/birthday parties/house parties happen! It can even, after years of experience, make things look easy and glamorous.

You need to establish quantities, timings and recipes. The dish or pan you are planning to use for each food helps too … it can put a real spanner in the works when you look for the stuffing dish to find it already piled high with carrots (as happened last year).This may sound silly, but check that you have a roasting tin that will take the size of meat you plan to buy (many student kitchens have lots of small ones as no one foresees making such a large meal) – and check that the tin you are going to use will fit your oven! Don't forget, they'll be lots in the oven at the same time, so coordination is key! Decorations are vital - Poundland will become

your best friend. Baubles, fairy lights and piles of tinsel are all classics. For a more DIY approach, why not try homemade snowflakes for the windows? Don't forget the crackers - cheesy photos of everyone in paper crowns is a must. If you can pin down a day when everyone is free from sport/lectures/ not already running home with a bag full of dirty laundry, then the talk of budget is next. A roast bird (chicken is the cheapest meat), with potatoes, carrots, stuffing, gravy, could, with some savvy shopping, costs about £5 per person for around 12 people. Morrisons usually have good seasonal offers starting around now too.

Now the food: for many freshers, or indeed more experienced students, the idea of organising a Christmas meal in your flat or house with mismatched equipment and a poky student kitchen is one that fills you with dread. The Christmas meal is likely to be the most complicated you'll

put together in the whole year. Timing the different elements of a 'roast dinner' isn't easy, especially when you factor in the gargantuan proportions of the poultry and the various 'trimmings' demanded by housemates. It would be lovely to now give you a point by point ‘cut out and keep’ timing list for the day but it would involve me specifying your menu, the time you eat and probably the weight of your bird, and ,not being a celebrity chef, I lack the arrogance or audacity to actually pull that off.

So, my biggest piece of advice: the most important thing is not to panic - enjoy yourself ! What's the worst that can happen? Cooking and preparing a meal should be just as fun as eating. Food hits the table a little late? People will simply have slightly sharper appetites when waiting a little and will enjoy their lunch all the more. Most importantly, just make sure you have enough gravy to hide any of your mishaps!

Traditional Mince Pies 350g Plain flour 220g Butter 100g Sugar 280g Mincemeat (can be bought pre-made) 1 Egg (beaten) Icing sugar for dusting Cupcake tin Price for 15: Approx £3.50 Traditionally Christmassy, mince pies are deceptively easy to make and so tasty! Mix together the butter and flour with your hands, slowly adding sugar (and a pinch of salt) and a small amount of the beaten egg until you have a large dough ball. For chocolate mince pies add cocoa powder to the mixing process. Butter a cupcake tin and grab a walnut sized amount of dough and flatten into the cupcake mould to create the base. Spoon in a generous amount of the mincemeat and using a smaller amount of the dough, flatten between your hands and create a lid. Place directly on top of the base and pressing the edges together using your fingers and extra dough if necessary. The pies can then be frozen or you can cook them straight away. Coat the tops with beaten egg and cook in a hot oven for 20 minutes until golden. Once cooled dust with icing sugar and prepare for compliments!

weheartit

Alcoholic Truffles

weheartit

Gingerbread People

Channel 4

lovefood

weheartit

350g Self-raising flour/plain flour and one teaspoon bicarbonate soda 175g Sugar (brown sugar helps the golden colour) 100g Butter/Margarine 1 Egg 4 Tablespoons of Golden Syrup 1-2 Teaspoons of Ground Ginger Spice Icing Sugar and Decorations as required Price for 15 Gingerbread Men: Approx £3.50 The perfect group activity for Christmassy bonding, Gingerbread Men are incredibly easy to make and the decorating possibilities are endless. Just mix flour and ground ginger into butter with your fingers and add the sugar, egg and golden syrup slowly to the crumbly mixture to form a dough. Coat your surface with a small amount of flour and roll out the mixtureuntil it is 5mm thick. Using knives or pastry cutters create your desired people/objects, placing them on a greased baking tray to cook for 15 minutes on a medium-high heat. When golden brown, allow to cool and then allow your imagination to run wild. Perhaps you can even recreate your flatmates?!

150g Dark chocolate (at least 75%) 150ml Thick double cream 25g Unsalted butter 2 Tablespoons of an alcoholic beverage of your choice if making alcoholic truffles (rum works best) 1 Tablespoon Greek Yoghurt Cocoa powder Price for Approx 35: Approx £5 (without alcohol) Homemade truffles can make inexpensive and unique gifts!

Simply crush, grate or ideally use a blender to make the chocolate granular, almost the consistency of sugar. Melt butter in a pan, or cheat by using the microwave, with cream and alcohol (if desired) until it simmers. Stir or blend this mixture with the chocolate until smooth, adding yoghurt and mixing again. Transfer the liquid mixture into a bowl or different bowls if you wish to add ginger, spices or flavouring for special gifts. Cover the mixture with clingfilm and refrigerate overnight, solidifying by morning. Take a heaped teaspoon amount and roll it into a ball before covering entirely it with cocoa powder for a smooth finish. Gently place in its paper case for perfect presentation!

The truffles can be frozen but best kept refrigerated before given as a gift.

weheartit

20 LIFESTYLE

YORK VISION

Tuesday November 29, 2011

Cold Night Delights

Snuggle up with Bethany Porter's advice on staying toasty warm this winter...

Blanket, Urban Outfitters, £35

Throw, H&M, £17

Y

ork is getting colder rapidly. The temperature is declining at an unstoppable rate. This unfortunate fact is causing a frosty mist to leave your mouth when walking to campus and turning panes of glass into panes of ice.

Although this revelation will come as no shock to those currently reading this embalmed in blankets and quilts, it's definitely hard to stay warm on a student budget.

Of course, this problem isn't helped when your housemates are stingy with the gas money...not pointing any fingers. Settle down, snuggle up and let Vision take you through our top tips for staying warm in the winter time...

One(sie) and Only As the name suggests, a comforting bundle of warmth to envelop you from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. Of course, your housemates may shoot you some disconcerted glances when you first emerge in your new onesie, but don't wor-

Fleecy Snuggler, TWC, £12

ry, they'll soon be converted! There's nothing quite like unlocking your front door after a long day of damp-socked lectures, taking a steaming hot shower and slipping into a fleecey, flannel onesie for the rest of the evening. Leave your dignity at the door and embrace everything about these overgrown baby-grows.

And the high street agrees - everwhere from hipster TOPSHOP to metalcore Drop Dead are stocking all-in-ones this winer, so you'll be spoilt for choice. For budget bargains stick to Primark, where you can pick up a onesie in any pigment, pattern or print. If you're feeling more flush try a piece from Kigu - these luxury unisex onesies are popular with students and stars alike, though their elaborate animal faces and tails make them difficult to sleep in...

When selecting your onesie, choose ones with cuffs to prevent irritating sleeve-ride-up and to keep your head warm when the rest of you is tucked up under the covers.

Knitted Cover, High Fibre, £32

Keeping It Inside Just because you live in student digs doesn't mean you can't indulge in a little interior panache - and stay warm while the merucry drops!

They may sound a bit old fashioned, but don't you dare knock a draught excluder until you've tried one. Snake them around the front and back doors, as well as bedrooms that open onto corridors - you'll be thanking us any day now.

Dig out an old water bottle - or better yet, invest in a new stylish one - and cuddle up with it on the sofa, at your desk chair, and in bed. Shops are full of covers that will transform your hot water bottle into the epitome of style. Check out TOPSHOP and Urban Outfitters for quirky, retro styles, or The White Company for a pricey but endlessly chic alternative.

If you live on the ground floor, and I don't want to sound melodramatic here, a rug could change your life. The cold ground will sap the heat from any rooms

Faux Fur Rug, Echoo, £45

at ground level to such an extent that there aren't enough pairs of socks in the world to warm your feet back up. Rugs can be splutteringly expensive, so shop wisely - for a stylish look go for monochrome, graphic prints. But if insulation is your goal, choose something with a thick pile faux fur is ideal.

A Blanket Approach Blankets deserve a special place in your heart, and a prime position on your bed.

They lend a hand to that wafer thin, four button duvet, as well as adding a new texture and print to your bedding. The multitool of the soft furnishings world, layer up blankets and quilts on your bed, drape them on your sofa, or just wrap up in them to watch some cheesey Christmas telly.

Department stores and even supermarkets are a great place to stock up on purse-friendly blankets, with BHS stocking a particularly impressive range of shades.

Six Bottles of British Beer on the Wall...

Jack Knight reviews six British beers

Admiral's Ale

Ola Dubh

Ruby Red Ale

Stocking Filler

by St Austell Brewery, £2.70

by Harviestoun Brewery, £5.10

St Peter's Brewery, £2.70

by York Brewery, £2.25

A fruity refreshing taste which isn't afraid of being fullyflavoured. Might be too strong for some. Ruined by infantile art.

A maturing process in whiskey barrels has produced a mix of yeasty, treacle and marmite flavours.

Unusual, but not worth the price.

The palest bitter ever. Characteristic of a confused beer. A too sweet initial flavour with a sharp aftertaste. A little underwhelming.

A smokey, woody, chocolatey flavour with an intense aftertaste. Too fizzy for a balanced ale.

But very tacky packaging will put most off.

Hellfire

Rapture

by Leeds Brewery, £1.65

by Magic Rock Brewing, £2.55

A confused bitter.

A too sweet initial flavour with a sharp aftertaste.

The bottle loojks more like reggae reggae sauceFrankly disappointing.

Although this has a pleasant hoppy taste this flavour simply overpowers everything else. On the whole a rather offputting tasting experience.

Oliver Todd

LIFESTYLE

YORK VISION Tuesday November 29, 2011

21

Christmas Quarrelling St. Nicholas Dunn-McAfee has his Claus out for the Christmas period...

Are Christmas decorations around too early? Are you sick of the cheesy John Lewis adverts? If Christmas is too fake, too festive and too frolicking for your tastes, then let him rant for you.

C

hristmas is unfortunately everywhere. Like deliberating flu, disruptive snow or a dangerous addiction to buying vintage jumpers, it’s unavoidable. Comparable to a great cultural behemoth rising from its reluctant slumber in the depths of bitter winter, it towers over every aspect of our lives until appeased. The “festive” season, as history has optimistically termed this time of year, is nearly upon us.

Scratch that – Christmas is upon us. The television is dominated by adverts depicting the perfect family Christmas; the John Lewis adverts crooning “Please, please, please, let me get what I want”. The wanton desire here is almost certainly to make any intelligent viewer gag on the horrific display of sentimentalism that wouldn’t be out of place in Dickens novel, when something cliché happens to an alliteratively named character. Even worse than John Lewis trying to lull me into warm puddles of my own tears, Iceland is taking the opportunity to insist that I eat my own weight in questionable looking vol-au-vents. Gracing our screens once again under the flimsy guise of “tradition”, the Coca Cola advert returns. Merry Christmas one and all, enjoy consuming the exact same drink you’ve tippled on a regular occasion all year, except rebranded with a pseudo-cultural icon emblazoned on can until the end of December. I won’t even begin to ruminate on why the world thinks it necessary to consume a thirst-quenching and ice-cold beverage at the time of year when your study-room is comparable with a freezer, a warm freezer. The logics of Christmas escape me, but unfortunately I can’t escape Christmas.

This is what we’ve had to live with since the start of November.

The entire country seems blissfully unaware that Christmas is not in November. It becomes almost impossible to distinguish between the day of Christmas and the season-spanning event of “Christmas”. These realisations are, as one might have noticed,

irrelevant in the world of profits and market shares. Each shop has its own version of luxurious indulgence on Christmas day or heart-warming family bonding the night before.

Whether conscious to this or not, billions of people around the globe don’t celebrate Christmas, they buy into Christmas. As much as you like to think they generally care about your happiness, the fact is they only care about your money. As much as they think they’re selling you a little slice of festive joy, the fact is you only care about it being more extravagant than the year before. Marx would be spinning in his grave, but not before someone covered his tomb with tinsels, or adorned his bust with a friendly red-nosed reindeer.

This entire period of Christmas is predicated on consuming: consuming family time with meaningless activities involving relations you just can’t relate to, consuming everything over-priced in the shops because everyone else is and joining the crowd makes you feel complete or consuming the ritualised turkey whose species must dread this time of year.

The line between acceptable and unacceptable becomes blurred as the entire country reluctantly exchange utterances of festive cheer without any real meaning behind the words.

Christmas occupies the peculiar space of hyperreality in our modern culture. So desperate to achieve its own inflated image, each Christmas steps further and further away from reality. On the brink of the surreal, Christmas has become so focused on embodying tradition that it moves from the realms of reality to the domain of utter madness.

There is nothing about Christmas that is normal, sane or in any way realistic. Wrapped in falseness, with a bow of enforced joviality and your name written in the matte black ink of greed, 21st century Christmas is an unwanted gift each year that society refuses to let you return to the shop.

...whilst Santa Simmons Ho Ho Ho-pes you have a fantastic festive season!

Can you really have too much Christmas? Well, maybe, but there's always a place for Rudolph, Santa and the elves for Simmons, and he's celebrating everything great about the season.

N

ow, Wizard, I don’t "Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday", but I could do with a monthly instalment. This is the only time of year that everyone joins together to enjoy a mutual celebration and who can, honestly, say that they hate every minute of it?

I have fond memories of this time of year from when I was a severely overweight toddler. In a desperate attempt for me to lose weight, I endured months and months of food deprivation and, when it was looking increasingly likely that I would have to eat my sister, Christmas would be upon me and I was, finally, allowed to eat an array of chocolate bars all packed together in one of the chief festive food delights- the selection box! Thankfully, my dieting over the other eleven months of the year has helped my weight problem to subside but my calorific Christmas consumption continues to double the daily limit even now.

As we're on the subject of food, I must admit that I look forward to eating my Christmas dinner more than any meal of the year- especially if we’re eating at my Gran’s (my Mum is notoriously bad at cooking and buys a microwavable Christmas dinner so she can consume copious amounts of mulled wine and fall asleep on the toilet at 2pm). 'Tis the season to be jolly and who can without a belly to shake like a bowl full of jelly? even if you are worried about your weight, trust me - as somebody who knows the pains of dieting - this is the ONE time of year that you should indulge in your favourite foods. The rest of the year can be for starvation and, after all, who doesn’t need some extra weight in the winter weather?

Now, I know that everyone is constantly explaining to us that Christmas isn’t just about gifts, but it takes a lot for me to completely forget about them.

From the quintessential jumper with a 3D snowmen stitched onto the shoulder to the plethora of shower gel and socks, how can anyone say they don’t enjoy the buzz of Christmas morning? I, certainly, enjoy my parents’ annual attempts at disguising my Cliff Richard

calendar and, if the new John Lewis advert is anything to go by, a lot of people love to give gifts as much as they like to receive them (who knew?).

I’m not even bitter that I have continually failed in my 18-year quest for a Mr Frosty Ice-Maker. The anticipation that my life could change and that I will be able to create my own, perfect slush puppies for eternity is one that I relish every Christmas eve. and, as much as I secretly loathe my family's constant mockery of my failure, I can manage to overlook the disappointment because it's one of the few times we can all sit and enjoy the day.

This mutuality is, for me, the attribute that epitomises Christmas. It is not just the imminent visit of a fat, bearded man that gets me excited, it’s the decorative delights of the high street and how a vast majority of the county joins together to enjoy the build up to the same event. I am not condoning the high street releasing their Christmas range in July, but I do feel that as soon as I open the first door of my Spongbob Squarepants advent calendar, I am justified in cranking up the Pogues and watching films that I would never watch at any other time of year (with the exception of Mary Poppins and Space Jam).

So, don’t be a scrooge. Enjoy your festive season because at no other time of year can you get fat and watch brilliantly bad television and not feel guilty!

Merry Christmas!

22 LIFESTYLE

Student Stunners Anna wears...

YORK VISION

Tuesday November 29, 2011

Topshop: £34.99

Scarf: Marks and Spencers Coat: Topshop Bag: Cambridge Satchel Company

New Look: £14.99

Boots: Clarks

Max wears...

T Shirt: Vintage Coat: Vintage Trousers: Zara River Island: £50

Shoes: Vintage New Look: £39.99

Get Cosy

Most Covetable

with Winter textures

In case you have managed to miss it on the High Street, Faux Fur is back - with a vengeance. Stylish and warm faux fur can make an immediate difference to an outift; be it for the day or the night. Milan based designer Francesco Scognamiglio, who has dressed Lady Gaga, Madonna and Rihanna, showcased high octance glamour at the Fall 2011/2012 (left) and the industry went wild. Inject a little into your winter wardrobe with some of these little beauties. Whether you go all-out in a faux fur coat or stick to minimal accessories such as the gorgeous Topshop fur trim mittens (£15), fur remains one of the hottest trends this season.

Topshop £22

ZARA £22.99

by Katy Roberts

We wish

Accessorize £40

If only this Love Moschino bag wasn't £225.

The ultimate faux fur tote. Sigh.

Fur Trim Cape £79.99 Dorothy Perkins

YORK VISION

SPORT

Tuesday November 29, 20119

>Sport 50/50 NETBALL TIE

BY CHARLOTTE FERRIS

YORK'S LATEST BUCS league game was highly contested against a strong Sheffield 2nds team. York had previously suffered two defeats to Teeside 1sts and Northumbria 3rds, however two outstanding victories in the BUCS cup gave York momentum on their return to the league.

From the start, the game was evenly matched, with shots going in at each end.

Superb shooting from Lisa Griffiths and Kay Masterson put pressure on the Sheffield shooters to emulate the same consistency, and they did just that.

York supported each other well when faced with a talented Sheffield Centre, who was putting enormous pressure on York's centre court players. However, York centre Rebecca O' Dwyer did not panic and her experience paid off as she continued to comfortably feed first class balls into the shooters. At the end of the first quarter, the score was level at 12-12.

The second quarter contained much of the same, with neither Sheffield or York exerting any dominance. York seemed to struggle to feed their shooters suitable balls in the attacking third, interceptions and offsides occuring regularly.

However, clever marking by Lottie Knight prevented Sheffield from lobbing sky high balls into their tall Goal Shooter, which kept the score close at 26-27 to Sheffield.

Captain, Rebecca O 'Dwyer chose to change the formation of her versatile team in the third quarter to prevent York falling further behind. As a result, consistent passes by Charlotte Ferris and Bronwen Dalley- Smith to Kay Masterson resulted in a York comeback, as York end-

ed up in the lead at the end of the quarter. at 41-37.

The last quarter could have gone to either team, as Sheffield put up an aggressive fight, turning over a number of York's centres and passes into the D. However, York fought back, with Lottie Knight again putting immense pressure on the Goal Shooter. Despite York's lead in the third quarter, the game finished 50-50, a nail-biting end to a great match.

Rebecca O'Dwyer commented that the score was a "fair reflection on the game" and that she was "extremely proud" of her team's performance. York must not feel disheartened after this game and they must put it behind them with a match against Sunderland 1sts later this week, which will entail the highly anticipated comeback of Nina Pullman, who will almost certainly lift the team's spirits.

Photo: Ruth Gibson

PIPPED AT THE POSTS

BY ALEX FINNIS YORK'S RUGBY 1STS suffered a narrow 19-15 defeat to a strong Sheffield 1st XV on Wednesday, despite putting in a battling defensive performance.

The game went down to the wire, with the men in black chasing the victory until the very last, but they were denied by the final whistle.

York scored first after warding off some early Sheffield pressure. Tom Chadwick failed with an ambitious cross-field kick attempt but York's forwards recovered the ball. It was then spread down the blindside where Gabriel Adebiyi scored in the corner to make it 5-0.

Sheffield came back strongly and had the home side defending for their lives on their own try-line, but the York defence was more than a match for the Sheffield attack.

The away side had the ability in their side to threaten from anywhere however, and 25 minutes in, they had their first try.

The left winger burst down the blindside and broke several tackles with his pace before going over in the corner, the conversion giving Sheffield a 7-5 lead.

Whereas York had failed with their cross-field kick attempt, Sheffield made no mistake with one of their own five minutes later. The kick exploited the men over on the openside and the Sheffield winger went over to make it 12-5 going into half time.

York were once again forced to defend desperately early in the second half, but they kept the opposition out and were rewarded for their efforts when they won a penalty which Chadwick kicked to make it 12-8.

The comeback continued when the fly

Photo: Ruth Gibson

half produced one of his favourite grubber kicks, aimed for the corner and the onrushing Hugo Watson. The centre collected the carefully directed kick and scored, with Chadwick adding the extras to give the home side a 15-12 lead with 15 minutes remaining.

This set up an enthralling climax to the game, but unfortunately for York it was far more enthralling for the opposition fans.

70 minutes in their forwards finally managed to drive their way through the stout York defence to score. The conversion made it 19-15 and York required a late try to steal back the victory.

It wasn't to be however, and it left captain James Faktor to reflect on a narrow defeat. 'A good big team beats a good little team in rugby, and they just had a little bit more than we did', he said. 'We gave it everything and will come back from this.'

STAR OF CAMPUS: SAM ASFAHANI

THE YORK SPORT PRESIDENT TALKS AMERICAN FOOTBALL COACHING AND THE OLYMPIC FLAME

How did you get into American Football?

When I was growing up in London I played a good standard of rugby. One day there were some American Football scouts there and they noticed that I could hit people but couldn't pass or catch! They told me I could play a sport where all I'd do is tackle people so they got me down to a training session when I was about 16.

What club was that for?

That was for London Olympians. They disbanded for a while and are reforming now which is cool.

What other clubs have you played for then?

York Centurions is the biggest one really. I set up the club in my first year and it was basically a group of people who loved NFL. I played a season for Doncaster Mustangs too.

What would you like to see from the York Centurions over the next few years now that they're starting to win games?

Well when I was President in our first year

we lost all our games, the season after when Tim Blades was President we won 4, lost 4, making the Plate playoffs, and this year so far we've won 2 lost 1 which is a great start.

The boys put in a lot of effort so I'm hoping they become a yearly play-off contender.

The biggest thing though is to win at Roses, we've beaten Lancaster before, but never in Roses.

You coach as well as play don't you?

Yeah, I've taken on a coaching role at York now and I coached GB Youth. It was one of the best experiences of my life, we travelled

"I love coaching and I love helping other people improve" all over Europe playing other countries. I was an assistant coach to begin with and by the end of the programme I was a positional coach which was great. The programme hit a few funding issues so it stopped for a while but it has started up again now and I'm thinking of reapplying for my role.

So is that what you're thinking of doing

when you leave the uni then?

Yeah, absolutely. I love coaching and I love helping other people improve so yeah hopefully I'll be back in the coaching scheme for GB Youth before long.

Have you ever considered going to America to coach?

I had a job offer to go over there and coach at a college before I became a sabb. and I was really thinking about doing it. It's hard for an Englishman to get over and play there but coaching-wise we've got a lot to offer. It's always been something at the back of my mind to head over there so I might still do it.

Finally, you've been asked to carry the Olympic Torch how do you feel about that?

Apart from singing the national anthem in kit I think that's the second biggest thing that's ever happened to me. It's really nice to know why I was nominated too. They asked for people who have done a good service to sport in their community the University nominated me. It's nice that they think that I've done enough to merit that so it's not so much carrying the torch but that people actually thought to nominate me that makes me so proud.

SAM ASFAHANI

BY ALEX FINNIS

23

24 SPORT

YORK VISION

Tuesday November 29, 2011

THE

TIPSTER

HARD-HITTING PUNDITRY, COMING STRAIGHT TO YOU FROM HIS PRIVATE ISLAND

sure thing thing sure

YORK SPORT HIT JACKPOT

BY ALEX FINNIS continued from back page.

YORK'S COLLEGE SPORT scene is due to see monumental improvements thanks to the successful York Sport bid to bring in over £141,000 worth of funding from Sport England.

HARRY REDKNAPP TO BE THE NEXT ENGLAND MANAGER

There is a general consensus amongst the national press at present that 'Arry is next in line to try hard at making white van men up and down the nation happy after Fabio Capello hands over the reigns after next summer's European Championships. At every club he's been at in his lengthy career, he has improved their position and been loved by the fans (infuriating Southampton and Portsmouth fans with his club-hopping aside), and he currently has his enviable Spurs squad sitting third in the premier league having masterminded a champions league campaign. Whether he can transfer his canniness to the international stage remains to be seen but he has won trophies and has had experience in Europe at club level. He just needs to stay out of jail.......

TIPSTER'S ODDS:

5/4

long shot JO-WILDRED TSONGA TO WIN A GRAND SLAM IN 2012

The 26 year old Frenchman has been in sparkling form recently, reaching the semi-finals of the ATP world tour rankings, knocking out Rafa Nadal in the process. He is an all-rounder, equally deadly at the net and the baseline when he is on his game. Yet he has the agression in abundance to blow opponents out of the water, and, as he has become more experienced, he has acquired a relaxed and cool nature when under pressure to counter his assured self confidence. The pundits are of the view that in 2012 he is finally ready to mix it with the likes of Federer, Djokovic, Murray and the recently conquered Nadal. He got to the final of the Australian open in 2008 as an up-and-coming star and this year, he reached the quarters of the US open and the semis of Wimbledon, so a first slam is in the offing.

TIPSTER'S ODDS:

9/1

ABSOLUTE MADNESS GAVIN HENSON TO BE NEXT ENGLAND RUGBY BOSS Rob Andrew came out last week saying that the RFU has hit "rock bottom" after leaks revealing mismanagement, ill-discipline and allegations of harassment during England's recent disastrous world cup campaign. So who better to transform their fortunes than "rugby player" and the nation's favourite bachelor Gavin Henson? The Welshman has tried his hand and most self-esteem sapping ventures in order to raise his celebrity stock, so his fortunes as England boss (soon to be a Channel 5 fly-on-the-wall documentary) seems a logical next step in his career path (because actually playing Rugby for an extended period of time seems out of the question). Revolutionary training drills waltzing and jiving while Bruce Forsyth gives motivational one-liners are what Andrew and his cronies must be looking for.

Team selections based upon hulking 18 stone mens' ability to wax their chests and chat up a woman are the way forward. World Champions 2015, you heard it here first.

TIPSTER'S ODDS:

500/1

The introduction of the College Sport and Participation Manager is set to benefit not only the focus sports of rugby, football, squash and badminton, but all college sport, and will also be of great help to the York Sport college sport officers.

This new member of the team will work closely with the officers, providing essential admin and development support.

York Sport President Sam Asfahani hopes that the effects of this cash injection 'will solve every problem with college sport in one go', as opposed to the gradual changes it has been used to thus far.

Roughly £1,800 is due to be spent on basic equipment such as balls and shuttlecocks with £3,200 going on marketing to advertise college sport, with the aim of increasing participation. Around £10,000 will go towards coaching students to become qualifield referees and coaches, something that has been called out for for many a year by participants, whilst £38,000 will go towards facilities and £125,000, the main bulk of the money, on the full-time staff member and part time coaches.

The changes bear exciting news for college rugby enthusiasts, with the sport due to be recognised with an official col-

lege league, see a move from its current base on the York RI pitches to its new home on the 3G pitches included in the sports village project and benefit from the introduction of a coach who will provide sessions open to all college players and also be present at matches.

This introduction will allow an increased participation in college rugby, since complete beginners will now be able to take part without the health and safety concerns that come with playing without any prior coaching.

'It's awesome news for the sport', said Alcuin rugby captain Muzzy Foley, 'it means that we won't have to trek over to the other side of town to play our games anymore and the coaching will benefit the whole of college rugby. The standard will improve massively.'

Both men's and women's football will also find joy in this college sport shake up. The next academic year will see the introduction of an official 3rds league for the men, with a 4ths league coming the year later. Perhaps of greatest importance to those involved in college football however, will be the training of referees.

Referees are currently provided by the teams themselves, leaving the standard very varied and often very low. The

UNHAPPY HOOPS

BY FRED NATHAN THE MEN'S BASKETBALL 1sts continued their dismal season, narrowly losing their fifth game out of five in the tent against Hull.

The first quarter was marked by indiscipline and fouling from both sides.

Hull were deadlier from free throws, not missing one, yet York were far more threatening from open play, driven by forward Andreas Boedt who was scoring quality baskets and drawing fouls.

The score was incredibly even and the end of the first quarter at 23-22 to York. It was an even contest in the second quarter too, with Hull edging it until a tactical timeout three minutes from half time saw a

renewed York impetus, reversing the scoreline with an eight point swing, epitomized by a superb reverse layup by Dan Baark. The half time score was 43-39 to York.

However, the game was effectively lost in the third quarter, the number of turnovers increasing by the minute.

York shots weren't hitting the target and heads were starting to drop, the home side only adding four points to the overall scoreline at the end of the quarter, which read 47-66.

In the final quarter of the match, York regained some fight and scored some points, certainly making Hull sweat for their victory. Yet it was not enough to claw back the deficit, leaving the final score at the end of this exciting match at 76-69 in Hull's favour.

emergance of qualified referees will add a much needed touch on control and prefessionalism to York's most popular college sport. Derwent captain Joe Boughtflower is excited by the proposed expansion to his sport, saying; ' I think it's great how college football has expanded over the past two to three years. The growing interest has been incredible. To be able to get 3rds officially funded and supported is great.' Female footballers will be given far more opportunies to express their footballing talents. Women's college football currently consists of a single one day tournament, but Asfahani plans to introduce more regular 5 a-side football, which will work in conjunction with the University team, allowing for a progression which should be of benefit to the entire women's football club.

In fact, several University teams should benefit from the changes, since the aim of the project is also to move people on from college to university sport through particpation.

The squash and badminton clubs are two clubs very likely to be seeing improvements, since they have been chosen as two of the 'focus sports', in which the York Sport team desire to 'improve efficiency.'

OUt-SPiked

BY WILL BARNES YORK MEN'S VOLLEYBALL 1sts went down 3-1 to a poweful Manchester side on Wednesday.

The first set was a bit of a sloppy affair to begin with and York were soon under the cosh. A combination of well placed serves, powerful slams and committed blocks allowed Manchester to pull out a commanding lead and they went on to take the set 25-13.

The second set started off very much like the first with many serves either going long or into the net. Pollex again produced a fantastic spike early on but Manchester once again began to assert their dominance serving well and spiking clinically. They took

the set 25-14 despite successful spikes from Stent and Panayiotis Nearchou.

York woke up and were able to give Manchester a game in the third set. Brutal spikes and crucial blocks by Pollex, Sabas and Stent powered the home side to a 25-21 victory.

However, in the fourth set, York's poor positioning and placement early on allowed Manchester to pull out an early lead. York were unable to compete with the power, placement and positioning of the opposition, losing the set 25-14 and consequently the match.

Captain Chris Stent stated post match that: "the team played well in patches but lacked aggression in the first two sets."

YORK VISION

SPORT

Tuesday November 29, 2011

FULL SPEED AHEAD

AS THE SEASON ENDS, MATT STEPHENSON CONSIDERS THE STATE OF FORMULA 1 SO IT IS COMING to the end of the 2011 season, and what a season it has been!

Although Sebastian Vettel’s dominance has taken away some of the competitive nature of the sport, there has been no lack of drama. To start with though, we must appreciate the spectacle that the youngest ever double world champion has provided for us this year.

His driving has been nearly faultless thus far, winning 11 races out of a possible 18, and standing on the podium an unbelievable 16 times. Despite all of the changes implemented before the 2011 sea-

"Sebastian Vettel’s dominance has taken away some of the competitive nature of the sport." son, Vettel has shone in mastering any new challenge. Be it learning how to use the new Pirelli tyres to the best effect, or using DRS to help him obtain the best lap times possible in qualifying, Vettel has given every driver a master-class in driving this year.

But most impressive of all has been the mental strength of the man, no matter what stress he has been put under. To have set new records for both the number of pole positions taken in a season, along with beating Nigel Mansell for the most podium wins in a single F1 campaign, Vettel has set a new bar amongst those in the F1 paddock.

But of course, one question that many will ask is whether Vettel’s success was down solely to the car that he is driving.

Red Bull has shown a remarkable ability over the past few seasons to design cars which have a greater raw pace than those of the competition, and a lot of this has been due to the brilliance of Adrian Newey, their chief technical officer. The Englishman from Stratford-Upon-Avon has a stunning record in designing racewinning cars, having won three constructors championships with three different teams over his long career. Importantly

though, one must remember that there are two drivers in a team, and both are effectively driving the same machine. So why has Mark Webber been so roundly beaten by his Red Bull team mate?

In terms of pure statistics Vettel has dominated Webber this season, accumulating 374 points to Webber’s 233. Yet this is an unfair portrayal of the Australian’s true ability. Last year Webber ran Vettel to the wire and the world championship was snatched away from his grasp in the last race of the season, and in 2011 luck has still not been on the side of the plucky aussie. Mechanical issue after mechanical issue has prevented him from showing his true potential, but the fact of the matter is that he has been unable to out-qualify or out-compete his 24 year old German teammate.

I am a huge fan of Lewis Hamilton, but I will be the first to admit that his driving this season has lacked consistency and mental strength, both of which are required to even consider winning another world championship. Hamilton has put in some phenomenal performances. The Chinese Grand Prix showcased his incredible ability to find speed that no other driver can match, but Lewis has not been able to get to grips with the tyre-management required for this year, nor have his constant

clashes with Felipe Massa helped his reputation.

Hamilton is a fighter, and I firmly believe that given a car which can truly compete with the Red Bull machine next season, he will be a tough man to beat. Yet whilst Lewis has struggled, Jenson Button has proven his true calibre. Despite winning the world championship in 2009, many felt that this was due only to the advantage that Brawn had in car design at the beginning of the season.

However, the aggression that Button has displayed on track in 2011 has quietened many critics, and his ability to main-

"Lewis Hamilton's constant clashes with Felipe Massa have not helped his reputation." tain and optimise his tyres is the best of any driver currently in Formula 1. To my mind there has not been a Grand Prix in history which has had such drama as in Canada, where Button drove incredibly from last place in the last period of the race in damp conditions to snatch victory from Vettel on the final lap. If that does not show the talent which Button has at his disposal, then I do not know what else does.

So now that the Brazilian Grand Prix is upon us, we must start to consider what the 2012 season will bring. The teams will be in motion until the start of next season, but the big three – Ferrari, McLaren and Red Bull – are expected to retain the same drivers as this year, although there are rumours that Massa’s seat is in jeopardy for 2013. The greatest interest will come when Schumacher makes his decision on whether or not he remains in Formula 1after this season, and might provide Mercedes with an interesting choice for his replacement.

Overall though, I cannot wait for the start of the new season. Let us hope that Red Bull’s rivals can hit the ground running at the start of next year, and that we can enjoy a more competitive fight to decide next year’s world champion.

BIG BREAK FOR BARBICAN

BY JACK BRADSHAW AFTER AN EIGHT year absence, the UK Snooker Championship is returning to the York Barbican, with the action kicking off on Saturday 3rd December.

Telford has recently been the venue for the second-highest ranking event of the year, but the decision in April to bring the tournament back to York has generated great excitement around the city.

It is estimated the Championship could boost York’s economy by about £7.5 million, and this figure excludes additional spending in hotels and restaurants.

The decision to bring it back was straightforward enough; SMG Europe have done a terrific job in renovating the Barbican since early 2010 and currently have an excellent relationship with World Snooker Limited.

World Snooker Chairman Barry Hearn said: "The fans in York always generated a

cracking atmosphere and no doubt they can't wait for another chance to see the very best in the world in action. We're looking forward to working with our partners in York and making it the home of the UK Championship once again."

Also, the Fishergate ward community planning panel have stated: "This is excellent that the tournament is returning to our ward and it will do a lot to raise the profile of snooker within our city and bring money into our area as well."

Television coverage of the event will be extensive; the BBC, Eurosport and Chinese broadcasters have contracts which mean an estimated 500 million viewers around the world will be watching.

Students will be able to get tickets for just £5 to see matches on the opening weekend. This is further evidence that snooker is trying to widen its audience to include the younger generation.

World number 3 John Higgins is the defending champion after beating Mark Williams 10-9 in last year’s epic final but Matthew Stevens, who defeated Stephen Hendry in the final, was the last player to win at the Barbican. World number 1 Mark Selby is the tournament favourite having won two ranking events this season, most recently the Shanghai Masters in September. 22-year old Judd Trump is also likely to have tremendous support, following his remarkable rise towards the World Championship final this May.

25

COLLEGE CONUNDRUM HELP OR HINDRANCE? VISION ASKS, SHOULD UNIVERSITY SPORTS PEOPLE BE ALLOWED TO PLAY COLLEGE SPORT?

YES

BY CHARLOTTE FERRIS YORK IS ONE of only a small number of British Universities which upholds the collegiate system and it is something to be proud of.

College sport lifts the whole college, as seen with the extremely popular College Cup in football, and more should be done to emulate this in other sports. However, in some sports the willingness to play for your college is abysmal.

All university players should want to play for their college, as their expertise can be passed over to players at a lower level than themselves, thus improving the quality of college sport. Despite rigourous training sessions which University players have to endure, there is still time left over to play for your college.

College sport also gives people a chance to play a number of different sports. For example, College Sport officer Charlotte Winter plays Lacrosse for the University and Netball for her college team. This displays great college spirit, which other players could learn from.

The ban on no University netball first team players and no University male hockey first team players being able to play for their college must be looked into in the future, as University players are vital to college sport.

NO

BY ALEX FINNIS

IN THE EYES of many, the best thing about York's collegiate system is college sport, and how it provides a sporting platform for those who can't quite reach the dizzy heights of representing the University every Wednesday afternoon.

Whilst University players will argue that they want to represent their college, there are far more reasons against York's elite playing college sport, than for it.

Firstly, it can only be seen as a hindrance for the Uni teams; the last thing they want is for their star player to pick up an injury playing for his college just a few days before their crunch tie with a local rival.

Secondly, the more Uni players that play for their college, the fewer people can actually play sport at York at all. There are plenty of occasional sportsmen out there who will happily get their kicks playing football for Vanbrugh 2nds each week, but if their 1st team suddenly becomes a UYAFC select XI, then these part timers get pushed out and are forced to fulfil their competitive urges by thrashing an unwilling flatmate at subbuteo.

The last thing we want to do is to stop people from playing competitive sport, so leave college sport to the college players, the Uni lot have their own teams to play for.

26 SPORT

YORK VISION

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

Tuesday November 29, 2011

DERWENT LOSE AND MISS THE CHANCE TO WRAP UP THE TITLE A WEEK EARLY

BY FRED NATHAN, WILL BARNES, WILL COOPER & JACK BRADSHAW COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS finely poised going into the final week of the winter term as Derwent could not claim the title a full round of matches early, while at the same time letting James close the gap between the two to just one point.

On a windy day on 22 acres, Vanbrugh dominated the first half against Joe Boughtflower's Derwent side, Rory Sharkey and Ben Stanier both firing wide.

James Wilson's oufit did take the lead midway through the first half, the excellent Sharkey putting Elliot Rous-Ross through on goal, and the pacey striker made no mistake, slotting home one-on-one past Seb Treasure in the Derwent goal.

The tide of pressure immediately told after the interval as the reigning champions had the wind, Jacob Tapper shooting nar-

rowly over from the edge of the area after a long throw was not properly cleared.

Ben Stanier missed a sitter for Vanbrugh before redeeming himself a few minutes later however, when he cleared off the line after a Derwent flick from a long throw.

Searching desperately for a goal, they went three at the back, Brandreth pushing up into midfield.

They had yet more chances, Sam Earle shooting over before Xander Brinkworth scuffed his shot again after a long throw had not been cleared by Vanbrugh.

Yet the men in blue and red held on for a shock win, making Joe Boughtflower’s team wait until next week to try and win the title, against a resurgent James, who are now only one point behind.

James meanwhile left it late, eventually overcoming Alcuin with two strikes late in the second

Photo:Oliver Todd

half from Dan Hersnick and Josh Brownlow. Poor defending from both sides in the first half permitted several opportunities on goal, all of which were squandered.

The deadlock was broken by Will Taylor of Alcuin who struck the ball into an empty net after Toby Owen’s goal-kick went straight into his path.

There were incredible scenes within the first few minutes of the second half when Ben Cooke went down after what looked like a push in the box. Despite outraged protestations from Alcuin, a penalty was awarded. However, James Davies struck his effort straight at Boyd. Ben Cooke then hit the post from the rebound before Boyd saved a third attempt from Brownlow.

A few minutes later, Taylor was made to rue an earlier miss.

Hersnick played a one-two with Clarke before firing the ball past a helpless Boyd into the top left corner from the edge of the box.

Soon, it was 2-1 James, O’Brien crossing to Brownlow whose effort squirmed in after Boyd could only parry. This win lifts James to within touching distance of Derwent, and the two meet next week to decide the title.

Silencing the doubters, Langwith were able to record their first win of the campaign with a fantastic performance against a Halifax side who struggled to make inroads into a stern opposition defence.

The game started dreadfully for the men in yellow however, as a probing cross from Halifax winger Hamish Denham was put through his own net by the unfortunate Sam Morley after just a couple of minutes.

Photo:Oliver Todd

Langwith were not disheartened, though, and both Andy Hutt and Jan Schick had attempts on goal soon after. Their hard work was rewarded when Callum Sheridan hit a sweet long range effort that evaded Halifax goalkeeper Jonny Sim’s grasp to level matters.

Halifax were the first to threaten after the interval with Denham just heading over from a corner. However, their profligacy was punished as they succumbed to the spectacular Captain, Andy Hutt, playing in an unfamiliar forward role, received the ball just outside the box and with his back to goal turned the defender and hit an unstoppable curling effort that sailed over Sim to earn his team the lead.

Despite sustained Halifax pressure, Langwith held on to record their first win on grass for around two years. This, coupled with the seconds' victory over the same college on Wednesday rounded off an excellent week for

COLLEGE RUGBY

Langwith.

Sunday's final game saw a scintillating 5-5 draw between Goodricke and Wentworth. The post-grads staged a heroic second half comeback with a hattrick from Wayne Paes punishing Goodricke in an extraordinary game.

Being 4-1 up at half time, it looked for all the world the job was done for Goodricke after producing an excellent attacking display including a double from Jon Sharpe.

Both sides then traded goals early in the second half to make it 5-2, before Wentworth scored three goals in the last 25 minutes to achieve what must be one of the greatest college football recoveries.

Wentworth never gave up, as Dan Bawdon, Dom Green and Paes proffered from poor Goodricke defending to get the draw, the men in green even finding time to hit the bar in the final minute.

ALCUIN TURN UP THE HEAT ON LEADERS DERWENT WITH 'FAX DEMOLITION

BY ALEX FINNIS ALCUIN RAN IN six trys to inflict a hefty 38-0 defeat on Halifax, whilst also impressively shutting out the talented attacking outfit.

Despite some early 'Fax pressure, the men in red and black opened the scoring with a perfectly executed backs' move.

Liam Haeburn-Little applied the finishing touches to make it 5-0.

Captain Muzzy Foley added another score not long later. The ball was spread across the back line and James Evans offloaded to Foley who went over in the corner. Marinus Maris converted with aplomb to give his side an early 12 point advantage.

Alcuin were playing with the wind in the first half and Maris frequently took advantage of the conditions with well placed territorial kicks. Halifax never really

threatened the Alcuin try-line and before long they found themselves three trys down.

Joe Cooper touched down for the first of his hat-trick after yet another excellent play from the Alcuin backs and Maris dissected the posts to make it 19-0.

Cooper broke sevaral tackles to score again before half-time, and the Panthers went in at half time with a comfortable 24-0 lead.

With the wind and slope now in favour of Halifax, the men in blue and white had hopes to run in some trys of their own.

Though they were undoubtedly an impressive running side in attack, Alcuin's defence was more than a match for them.

By contrast, Alcuin had too much for 'Fax going forward.

Their pack made good ground in the 22 before the ball was once again spread wide, allowing Cooper to complete a hat-trick for

which he was awarded the 'Man of the Match' award. Maris' conversion put Alcuin 31-0 ahead.

Up until now the backs had claimed all the glory despite the hard graft of the Alcuin forwards, Alex Wilson in particular putting in some bone-crunching tackles. Number 8 Sam Afahani gave the pack a much deserved try late on however.

The York Sport President drove over under the posts, giving Maris a simple conversion to round off the scoring at 38-0.

The ever insightful Muzzy Foley told Vision after the game; 'Halifax were big, but so were the dinosaurs, and look what happened to them.'

With Alcuin now back to full strength and their top of the table clash with Derwent coming up on Sunday, the College Rugby league hangs delicately in the balance, awaiting this storming fixure.

Photo:Dave Hughes

YORK VISION

Tuesday November 29, 2011

SPORT SPOTLIGHT

WILL BARNES GETS HIS PADDLE OUT FOR SOME TABLE TENNIS ACTION WHEN I VOLUNTEERED to try out table tennis for Vision, I was mainly concerned about how much of a fool I was going to make out of myself. Yes, I had played casually at school for a number of years but, after leaving school in 2010, I was fairly sure that I would be more than a little rusty. Still, watching a clip of Forrest Gump on Youtube reminded me of the sport's fundamental requirement: never to take one's eye off the ball!

Photo: Oliver Todd

When I entered the sports hall it was a pleasant surprise to find many of the members so casually dressed. For sure, the team members were dressed in club shirts and matching shorts but most people were in T-shirts and some even wore jeans. However, despite the casual appearances, it was clear once play commenced that every-

one took this sport very seriously.

To begin with we knocked up casually, no one trying to hit the ball as hard as they could. Following the initial knocking up period most of the group took part in a doubles round-robin across three of four tables, moving from table to table depending on whether your pair won or lost the match.

The standard of this group ranged from total beginners to players with a few years experience. The last table was reserved for team members who it is fair to say where probably playing at twice the pace of the ordinary members of the society. For my part, I largely just participated in the round robin but later on I did go and play one of the team members for a bit of a laugh.

In the first few games of the round robin, I was truly dreadful. I had never previously played proper doubles table tennis and my awful movement probably lost us approximately five points every single game. I also tried to slam the ball at every possible opportunity and consequently lost us even more points. However, perhaps most criminally, I took my eye off the ball causing many shots to go long. I even missed the ball completely on a few occasions.

When I found myself on the bottom table I realised I needed to adopt a more serious approach. I was letting my partner down. I started to be more attentive and decided to try and just return the ball rather than just hit it as hard as I could. My movement also started to improve and the games I was playing in started to become more competitive.

After a while, it was time for

my partner and me to temporarily swap out. During this break, I had the opportunity to watch the team members at close quarters. Their very technical serves and the speed at which they played made me particularly uneasy. Whilst watching, I politely enquired as to the team's progress so far this term. I discovered that the A and B teams were undefeated in both BUCS and the local league. This made me even more uneasy. How was I even going to win a point against one of them?

All of a sudden, it was time to take on the Team Captain. Even if he did not have prodigious skill with a table tennis bat I would still have been afraid of Andy Bevan: he is six foot six inches tall. I told him not to go easy on me and he was true to his word. The game probably lasted around 90 seconds and the only point I got was through an unforced error.

When I made my way back to

the round-robin after this sound beating, I realised I needed to make my serve a bit more difficult to deal with. Initially, this led to the loss of a few points as several serves went long or wide. However, before long they started going in more consistently.

After a frustrating first hour, I started to enjoy the session as I got more and more accustomed to playing the game again. The round robin was played in a relaxed atmosphere: although everyone was serious during the points, this did not mean people did not have a laugh in between. However, the thing I liked most about the club was that anyone was willing to play anyone even if they were a total beginner. I would definitely recommend the session to anyone who wants to have a bit of fun on a Saturday afternoon. There is also a session at 4 o'clock on a Monday afternoon for those lucky enough to be without lectures then.

Photo: Oliver Todd

DERWENT WOMEN WINNERS

BY WILL COOPER & JACK BRADSHAW DERWENT SECURED the women's College Cup Crown after recovering from an early loss to beat Halifax in the final.

Halifax finished top of Pool A after winning both of their games against Goodricke and Vanbrugh 4-1 and 4-0 respectively. Vanbrugh

qualified in second place after they edged out Goodricke 1-0.

In the other pool, it was James and Derwent who went through.

After losing their first game against James, Derwent thrashed unfortunate Alcuin 4-0. James scraped through to the final four thanks to their superior goal difference to Alcuin.

The first semi-final between

Photo: Oliver Todd

James and Halifax was a cagey affair, but Tess Webb provided a moment of quality for James with a hooked finish to the 'keeper's right. Halifax levelled with a penalty and Sally Dolton had a goal disallowed before Boyne slotted home the winner from close range after profiting from a lucky ricochet.

The second semi-final was between Derwent and Vanbrugh.

Caitlin Greene opened the scoring and Holly Hathrell made it two with a penalty. The second half was less frantic and as Derwent went forward looking to add to their tally, they allowed Vanbrugh to grab a consolation goal through Megan Phillips. Yet Derwent still secured their place in the final, 2-1 the final score.

The third-place play-off between Vanbrugh and James was a tight affair, the match finishing 4-3 to Vanbrugh thanks to a winner from Naomi Rintoul in the dying seconds.

The stage was set for an en-

tertaining final, with Derwent and Halifax going head to head.

Derwent looked the more threatening in an otherwise tense half, with Ellie Birch and Caitlin Greene causing some problems. Halifax defended stoically though, and the half-time whistle blew with the score at 0-0.

Derwent finally made the breakthrough at the start of the second period, as Greene finished powerfully. Holly Hathrell was again instrumental, extending her team's lead with a penalty and the result was put to bed when Birch scored a fantastic goal, bamboozling the defender and side-footing home.

Derwent's quality proved too much and they were deserved winners overall. Captain Maggie Edwards was delighted with her team's cup victory, commenting that she was "so proud of the team. We started with a loss but we worked really hard and powered through, and now we're going to the pub to celebrate!"

SPORT

27

NEW GYM GEAR FOR UNI

BY FRED NATHAN THE UNIVERSITY HAVE announced their choice of contractor for their new gym equipment in the sports village due to open next year.

They have opted to replace the existing Precor machines in favour of TechnoGym, who specialise in strength and cardiovascular appliances.

Their treadmills, cross trainers and training bikes all have touchscreen interactive interfaces, which will allow students to watch Sky television, listen to their ipod and even send e-mails whilst they exercise.

It is a coup for the university as TechnoGym are also the contractor to the British Olympic Association (BOA), who will have the same fixtures in the athletes' village in London next summer.

This new equipment is being implemeted in the 120 station gymnasium on the new ÂŁ9 million Heslington East sports village which is accompanying a swimming pool, group exercise spaces, saunas and asroturf pitches.

In the existing sports centre gym, new space is being created, increasing the capacity from 65 berths to 90 and its equipment will focus more on strength and conditioning.

The computerisation of the fitness fittings at the University is reflective of the wider renovation of the sports facilities on campus, and the increase in size from the current total of 60 stations to 210 shows an intention to increase participation amongst students as well as the attractiveness of on-campus fitness options.

There is a tendency for uni sportsmen to go to nearby David Lloyd on Hull Road, and Keith Morris, in charge of University sport, wants students to "feel more of an affinity with what we have to offer on campus."

James Faktor, Captain of the Men's First Rugby team thinks the new equipment and increase in size is a good idea."At the moment, the gym is quite small, at key times you can't get to machines you want, and there aren't enough specific machines to cater for your needs. With more space and modern, up to date machines, you will be able to get the whole team down to use the on-campus facilities."

Tuesday November 29, 2011

Issue 220

SPORT

STAR OF CAMPUS: SAM ASFAHANI

P23

YOUR #1 SOURCE FOR ALL UNI SPORT

WORLD SPORT: FORMULA 1

P25 COLLEGE FOOTBALL Photo: Oliver Todd

P24 P26 SPOTLIGHT: TABLE TENNIS

Photo: Oliver Todd Photo: Oliver Todd

P27 BUCS REPORTS

QUIDS IN!

> YORK SPORT TO RECEIVE £141,000 CASH INJECTION IN "BIGGEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO YORK SPORT"

BY ALEX FINNIS & FRED NATHAN YORK SPORT HAS been successful in a bid to receive a £141,905 injection from Sport England in a coup that York Sport President Sam Asfahani has described as "the biggest thing that's ever happened in York Sport."

The money comes as part of a Lotteryfunded project to increase participation in sport for people between the ages of 18 and

25 and will provide the bulk of a £178,000 project that will revolutionise college sport in particular, with £125,000 going towards the appointment of a full time College Sport and Participation Manager and part-time college rugby coaches.

The rest of the money is due to be spread between equipment costs, marketing costs, facilities and training students to become qualified referees and coaches.

Asfahani and co. have decided to focus

their attention on men's rugby, both men's and women's football, squash and badminton, with rugby due to become an official college sport in the academic year starting October 2012, based on the 3G pitches due to be built as part of the new sports village on Heslington East.

Men's football will expand to include official 3rd and 4th team leagues, whilst women's football will see an increase in fixtures.

Full story on page 24

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@YorkVisionSport

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