COUNSELING

MINISTRY | COUNSELING

Ministry on the Edge of Eternity

Bringing comfort to the dying and grieving

By ELLIE CANFIELD

“Do you believe there is a heaven?” As a hospice chaplain, I hear this question often.

Death is not just a physical process. It is also a spiritual journey, as people face their mortality and consider eternity. The path can be agonizing, and it can be beautiful at times.

I have ministered to young people with Stage 4 cancer who wanted to know, “Why me? Why now?”

I have talked with sinners and saints as they took stock of their lives and contemplated their future.

I have worshipped with elderly believers who eagerly anticipated their homecoming. After a lifetime of singing “Soon and Very Soon,” “When the Roll is Called up Yonder,” and “Amazing Grace,” they were ready to experience the full reality of those beloved hymns.

I have rejoiced over individuals who turned to Jesus and found grace and forgiveness in their final moments.

I have joined with faith-filled families as they prayed, wept and sang at the bedsides of Christian loved ones.

And amid the beeping of machines and the

When questions arise and spiritual matters are on everyone’s minds, the church needs to respond.

sounds of grief, I have shared the promises of Scripture:

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him (John 3:16–17).

My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if

I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am (John 4:2–3).

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes.

There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 21:4).

In such times, when questions arise and spiritual matters are on everyone’s minds, the church needs to respond. Here are six ways to minister to the dying and the grieving:

1. Be Present

Clear your mind and schedule so you can be fully present — physically, emotionally and spiritually. Pray for the Holy Spirit to go before you and prepare hearts for what He wants to do.

Take time to listen to the individual’s thoughts and concerns. I have had people share final wishes, personal stories, regrets, and even secret sins. As James 1:19 says, we should be “quick to listen” and “slow to speak,” always remaining sensitive to the Lord’s leading.

2. Provide Comfort

In addition to physical discomfort, a dying person may experience a range of distressing emotions, such as sadness, anxiety and anger.

Even Christians who are otherwise ready to be with Jesus often worry about leaving family members behind. I remind them that just as the Lord took care of them all their lives, He will also take care of their family members. Such reassurance stirs their faith and often brings a noticeable sense of peace.

We can’t take away all the sorrow of dying, but we can hold the dying person’s hand and share the love and compassion of Christ. After all, we serve the “God of all comfort.” He “comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God” (2 Corinthians 1:3–4).

3. Pray

Praying is the most important final act you can do with a person who is dying. You can pray about any areas of concern the person has brought up, pray for the family members who will be left behind, and pray for the transition from this life to the next.

When praying for Christians, include a declaration of faith in Jesus Christ and His work on the Cross. This can turn a time of fear into a time of rejoicing that they are finally about to see Jesus face to face.

If you are ministering to someone who might not be saved, extend an invitation to receive Christ. This might be the last chance this person has to accept Jesus and experience eternity with Him.

Ask, “If you were to die today, do you know if you will make it to heaven?”

If the answer is “no,” offer to lead that person in the sinner’s prayer.

If you are in a situation where you are at a loss as to how to pray, it is always appropriate to pray for peace, comfort and the presence of the Holy Spirit.

Paul exhorts us to “pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests” and to “keep on praying for all the Lord’s people” (Ephesians 6:18).

4. Facilitate Reconciliation

Sometimes relational issues within families come to the surface as the death of a loved one approaches. This is an opportunity to help a family find healing, restoration and unity.

A minister can be instrumental in facilitating that moment of reconciliation and love between family members and with the person who is dying. I have seen relationships healed, forgiveness extended, and estranged family members reunited. I have also seen prodigals return to God.

If some life event or theological concern has prevented the dying person from having a relationship with Jesus, the minister’s visit may be the last opportunity for that individual to address the issue and find salvation.

Hearts turn and minds often change when a person is at death’s door. God’s desire is reconciliation — not only with one another, but also with Him. Colossians 1:18–20 says, “God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in [Christ], and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.”

5. Have Church

A pastoral visit may also represent a dying person’s final opportunity to connect with the local congregation. He or she may never again step foot into a church, hear a sermon, or experience corporate worship.

Bring the church service to the person’s home or hospital room. Ask God to fill that space with His manifest presence. Read Scripture and sing the person’s favorite songs. Try to limit it to about 15 minutes so it doesn’t become too exhausting.

Hebrews 10:25 reminds us of the importance of believers meeting together. Wherever we minister, we can share the Word of God, glorify Him, and invite the presence of the Holy Spirit. The family members in attendance will likely remember that time as a special and holy moment.

6. Offer Bereavement Care

After the person dies, minister to the family. Many people choose that time to join the church if they are not already connected.

Call, visit, preach the funeral, and comfort family members as they weep. Not only are you honoring the memory of their loved one, but you are also loving and taking care of them. Even a small investment of time can make a big difference.

The family will always remember the care and support they received from the church.

Jesus said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted” (Matthew 5:4). You can play an important role in providing the comfort of Christ to those who are hurting.

ELLIE CANFIELD is an Assemblies of God hospice chaplain serving in AGUSM Chaplaincy Ministries, and an adjunct professor at Southeastern University in Lakeland, Florida, and Northwest University in Kirkland, Washington.