Life magazine 11 (UK version)

life Inside issue 11

Equipping local saints to care for children

A clean start for children in Costa Rica In rhythm with God’s heartbeat in Zimbabwe Staying faithful in a storm in Venezuela

page 4 page 8 page 10

LIFE FOR CHILDREN AND THOSE WHO CARE FOR THEM 34174 Viva Life Magazine issue 11 UK STG5 AW.indd 1

1

25/04/2019 09:13

EDITORIAL

Isaiah 57:2 reads, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news and proclaim peace.”

Imagine having a clear calling to be the one to bring the good news and peace of Christ to the chaotic lives of vulnerable children in your community. Imagine God’s Spirit moving you to form this part of his Kingdom into a plan to bring about change for local children.

But it’s not so straightforward. With limited contacts, expertise, resources and lack of access to those in power, it’s near impossible for you to make the change alone.

This is the reality for thousands of faithful people around the world, eager to bring God’s Kingdom of good news and peace for children, but in desperate need of the right connections and training to see their calling fulfilled.

This edition of Life magazine features stories like this from people around the world who have heard God’s call and transformed the lives of local children, thanks to the support of Viva partner networks.

Read on pages 4-6 the life story of Bella Flor in Costa Rica, who, for the last 20 years, has been the catalyst for transformation in the lives of children in San José. Turn to page 9 to find out how Florence Namaganda sparked a culture shift for the rights of children with special needs in Kampala, Uganda.

In our Spring Appeal this year, we are highlighting the incredible work of these local saints – courageous individuals, who, despite their own challenging circumstances, continually go the extra mile to see children safe from harm and to create communities where they can flourish.

If you choose to support this work, you’ll be equipping local saints to care for children, as well as building a network of support around them to sustain them on their journey. You can give by using the form attached to page 13 or online at viva.org/localsaints.

Thank you so much for being part of the movement to see God’s restorative Kingdom come for children at risk of abuse and neglect around the world.

Best wishes

Vicki Price Fundraising and Engagement Co-ordinator

We are an international Christian charity passionate about releasing children from poverty and abuse. We grow locally-led networks who are committed to working together so that children are safe, well and able to fulfil their God-given potential.

2

Last year, Viva reached over 2 million children by partnering with 38 networks and working in 27 countries. Find out more at viva.org

34174 Viva Life Magazine issue 11 UK STG5 AW.indd 2

25/04/2019 09:13

FUNDRAISING UPDATE Thank you for being Shining Lights!

During Christmas 2018, our Shining Lights Appeal focused on how Viva frees children from exploitation. A fantastic £31,000 was donated by generous supporters and when doubled by our match donor, £62,000 is now boosting Viva’s work globally. Please continue to pray for our response to this issue, in countries such as the Philippines, where our partner network PCMN is bringing to light the online sexual exploitation of children, which is a growing and disturbing problem there. It’s a privilege for Viva to be supporting PCMN as it empowers and trains dozens of youth advocates, and equips churches and schools to tackle the problem in their communities.

Christmas Parties in full swing More than 8,000 children attended a Viva Christmas Party in 2018 put on by our partner networks in 17 countries. The parties included fun, games, good food and songs. For a third of the children, it was their first contact with one of our networks and hopefully the beginning of extra support for them. The parties also deepen connections between churches and Christian ministries, which enables greater collaboration. Viva Christmas Parties are always supported by faithful individuals and churches in the UK, holding parties, Christmas collections and cake sales. Could your church support Viva Christmas Parties 2019?

Find out more at www.viva.org/christmasparties

The Ride Against Traffick We love big fundraising challenges – and they don’t come much bigger than cycling from Delhi to Kathmandu! An intrepid team of four adventurers in the UK joined two Indians, including Viva’s India Director Gary Kamaal doing the full distance of 1,000km between the two capital cities. Mim Friday, who leads Viva’s work in Africa, rode some of the distance, and they were all supported the whole way by Devesh Lal, Viva’s Network Consultant for India. Overall, the team have raised more than £10,000 for Viva’s work in preventing more girls from getting trapped into human trafficking. If this inspires you

to take on a fundraising challenge too, get in touch with Chrissie at c.wilkinson@viva.org or on 01865 811660.

3

34174 Viva Life Magazine issue 11 UK STG5 AW.indd 3

25/04/2019 09:13

A CLEAN START

FOR CHILDREN IN

COSTA RICA In a Costa Rican community controlled by drug cartels, local church leader, Bella Flor, has spent the last two decades bringing holistic transformation to the lives of children and families, whilst also getting her hands dirty by cleaning up the local environment.

Bella Flor talks to us about her motivation, her challenges and how being part of Viva’s partner network impacts her work.

What is your role?

I am a pastor and director of the Comedor Infantil La Tabla Posible (‘Children’s Canteen’ in La Tabla community), which is located in San Rafael Abajo de Desamparados, San José. I have worked here for 22 years, and have seen many generations pass through the centre.

What inspired you to start working with children here?

At the church I attended, there was an evangelistic campaign into the La Tabla community. I began to understand the great needs that the children were confronting. From that first day they would line up to be fed, regardless of whether we had food to distribute.

La Tabla is a community of high social risk, where children are often abandoned by their parents.

Most of them are subject to violence from their relatives and we should not ignore the fact that some are exposed to abusive relationships. In

addition, the community is dominated by drug addiction, resulting in children working as ‘drug mules’ to earn money to relieve the hardship they find themselves in.

From that day on, each time I went into the neighbourhood, God began to underline to me the promise that he had given me: that he was going to make a transformation in this community.

Is there any particular story that was a motivation for you?

Several years ago I met a boy who was eight years old and looked quite unwell. Since I could not find his mother, I left a message with a person who knew her and decided to take him

“ It has been wonderful to be the means by which God is bringing light to this community.”

4

34174 Viva Life Magazine issue 11 UK STG5 AW.indd 4

25/04/2019 09:13

EQUIPPING LOCAL SAINTS TO CARE FOR CHILDREN The 38 networks that partner with Viva connect over 4,000 churches and organisations – but these numbers do not tell us the real story.

There are many inspirational local saints who sacrificially give their lives to serve vulnerable children.

Bella and others like her see violence and share the hurt of the community every day but, always without fail, bring the hope and light of God. However, one person or one project alone can only do so much; it takes an active network to have a greater impact on the whole community with a joint strategy to bring about consistent change over a number of years.

Bella says she has been called to “demonstrate the love of Jesus through her actions”

home to give him medicine and food. The boy begged me to let him stay at our house because he felt happier with us. Three days went by and, as no one contacted me about the child, I set about finding out who the mother was.

When I found her, I took the boy to her home and I watched his mother treat him very badly, pushing him into the house and hitting him – all because the boy told her that he wanted to stay in my house. At that moment, I understood that my work ought to be much more than simply serving a plate of food to a child, but demonstrating the love of Jesus through my actions towards them.

What pleases you most about the work?

It has been amazing to see the hand of God at work during these last 22 years, demonstrating his faithfulness, which has transformed the lifestyle of children, and also of the community.

My work is vital, because we opened a children’s

Viva’s partner networks are not just connecting churches and organisations – they are connecting amazing people that make up the body of Christ. In a network, people are not alone; they can share in each other’s good times and hard times and, added together, they are an incredible force for good.

canteen, not only supplying hot meals, but fulfilling the need for God’s Word to be opened up to children and teenagers. We also give school support; assisting with supplies or helping students keep up their attendance.

We develop recreation spaces. Our greatest achievement was the creation of a multipurpose court, as a space where young people gather, share and, above all, have fun together.

With regard to the physical environment of the community, we work to clean it up through an educational programme about the collection and separation of rubbish for recycling. I really love what God has set me to do, knowing that I have been able to help change the way of thinking and living of some 2,000 children and young people. It has been wonderful to be the means by which God is bringing light to this community. continued on next page 5

34174 Viva Life Magazine issue 11 UK STG5 AW.indd 5

25/04/2019 09:13

“The mutual support and pastoral care of the network helps me enormously. I know now that I no longer work alone.”

Bella has transformed La Tabla by initiating regular community clean-ups

How have you seen your community change?

Now the neighbourhood is more attractive, the river that surrounds it no longer floods when it rains. Before it used to rise up and overflow through the houses. I have been able to see how the women, who were little girls 20 years ago, now bring their own children to the canteen. They frequently tell me that they do not want their children to go through the same things as they lived through in their own childhood. God has been good.

What would you say is your biggest challenge?

My biggest challenge during all this time has been to gain the trust of the community to allow me to enter without having to ask permission. There are guards at all community entrances and people can be killed if they enter uninvited. There were many threats to my life when I first started in the community, but I have now built people’s trust. This has been one of the greatest steps of progress, because many people in the

community are naturally distrustful and close up when help is offered.

How does being part of Red Viva Costa Rica help you?

Through their resources and programmes they provide me with the tools that greatly improves my work. Equally, the mutual support and the pastoral care helps me enormously.

I know now that I do no longer work alone.

Would you recommend others join the network?

It’s very important to work as a team; to assess whether what you have done is good or bad. It is a great help in ministerial development.

In what others ways might the network help you in future?

It would be fantastic to have a department where professionals in psychology and skills development are integrated, and where we could effectively support children who are in need of assistance in those areas.

Bella Flor was talking with William Mora, Network Co-ordinator of Red Viva Costa Rica

Bella’s organisation, Comedor Infantil La Tabla Posible, is one of 48 churches and Christian ministries who are members of Viva’s partner network in San José, Costa Rica – and together they are committed to keeping children safe from violence and domestic abuse, and strengthening families.

6

34174 Viva Life Magazine issue 11 UK STG5 AW.indd 6

25/04/2019 09:13

EQUIPPING LOCAL SAINTS TO CARE FOR CHILDREN XXXXX XXXXXX

GROWING

TRUST A volunteer mentor with a group of children in Siem Riep

From an initial fear of the task ahead of them, Peace Team Cambodia’s volunteer mentors have grown into their roles, and are helping to turn children’s broken hearts into hopeful ones, as Khun Sokhem explains.

When we started our anti-trafficking programme in 2017, there were many challenges facing our volunteers. They were afraid that no-one would listen to them and concerned that they were unable to deal well with children who suffer so much. We asked them very straightforward questions: “are you willing to act on

your calling from God and, if you don’t go to help those children and people, who will?”

Through our training, the volunteers came to realise that they wouldn’t face trouble from anyone for sharing ways of protecting children from abuse and trafficking. They learned that co-operation with government at all levels is important, and that they should explain everything clearly with community leaders, parents and children.

In the child mentorship project, there are ten mentors from different churches and ten children for each mentor. The children all came with difficult

circumstances – some have no food to eat, some are from broken families, some have no school uniform and materials, some are regularly beaten by adults.

As the children shared their heartbreaking stories and situations with mentors, it was a very emotional time – but as the mentors wept with the children, this created a bond which inspired them to want to help even more.

34174 Viva Life Magazine issue 11 UK STG5 AW.indd 7

The mentors have been able to teach the 100 children about how to protect themselves from trafficking, to stay safe from landmines and to get practical support for home and school life.

Mentors are loving and encouraging these children, and helping to turn broken hearts into hopeful hearts.

A strong trust has grown between children and from child to mentor.

The next phase of this project will see these children trained to be advocates.The mentors will teach children about leadership and identity, and empower them to speak up on behalf of other children to advocate against abuse.

Through their experiences so far, most of our volunteers feel very encouraged, empowered and want to continue their mission to help their community and children. They are thankful for the support of the government and of our network for allowing them to teach and help their local community, schools and churches.

Khun Sokhem is Executive Director of our partner network, Peace Team Cambodia

7

25/04/2019 09:13

IN RHYTHM WITH

GOD’S HEARTBEAT

Jonathan Chikumbu explains how training Christians in Harare about understanding God’s heart for young people is re-envisioning churches and nurturing children.

Two years ago, I visited Uganda and learned first-hand from Viva’s partner network, CRANE, about how to implement Viva’s training programmes for those who care for children in the community.

We then began to do the same ourselves, and have since trained members of our network in several Viva programmes.

Eighteen children’s workers from 12 churches and six Christian ministries have taken part in our Understanding God’s Heart for Children (UGHFC) training.

UGHFC offers the opportunity for learning through reflection on experience and exploration of Scripture, enabling Christians to hear and understand God’s desire and purposes for children.

Training participants in UGHFC envisioned them with a heart to prioritise and care for children in their churches and communities.

Following this up with training in Viva’s Child Friendly Church (CFC) programme allowed participants to then consider practical steps to bring this vision to life.

Participants are mentored to help them to make the changes to fit the needs of their work and ensure that children are

safe, well and holistically supported,

Reflecting on Scripture and on God’s purposes for children

with God at the centre. Children have been encouraged to participate in church programmes, and church services are now more inclusive of children.

One church developed a strategy for children’s activities. Another church developed a child protection policy and said that this has helped them to identify potential incidents of child abuse and to put measures in place.

Three-quarters of the churches had successfully completed their CFC recommendations at the end of the project.

Commenting on the impact of the UGHFC training, one participant said, “This is the foundation for working with children!

I have managed to mobilise many resources and volunteers merely by ensuring people understand God’s heart for children.”

Having a membership of 56 organisations and 142 churches, VNZ is looking forward to training more network members on UGHFC and ensure that organisation are fully committed to serving children. We have just completed 20 years of work in Harare – and are dreaming of what might be possible in the next 20 years.

Jonathan Chikumbu is the Network Co-ordinator of Viva Network Zimbabwe

8

34174 Viva Life Magazine issue 11 UK STG5 AW.indd 8

25/04/2019 09:13

EQUIPPING LOCAL SAINTS TO CARE FOR CHILDREN

© CRANE

NO LONGER HIDDEN Last year’s disability awareness-raising march in Kampala

Fear and community stigma have created a culture of neglect and misinformation surrounding children with disabilities in Uganda, causing many children to be concealed by their parents.

Eighteen years ago, while training to be a physiotherapist, Florence Namaganda would see parents brave enough to take the step of bringing their children to a hospital – but only under the cover of darkness. They would sit in hospitals at midday, having already been seen by a specialist, waiting for evening before daring to leave the hospital and risk their child being seen. When she started making home visits, she saw children kept well out of sight in a back room so as not be caught out by neighbours making unexpected visits.

It was at this point, during her studies that Florence realised that God was calling her to be the

catalyst for changing the futures of these hidden children. A daunting task ahead of her,

but trusting in God, she began the journey towards an entirely new way of treating children with special needs in Kampala.

Starting simply, Florence would teach those she met on home visits about the facts: that their children were not a curse or punishment, but would flourish with the right education and attention. These parents then educated their neighbours and overcame stigma together.

After receiving an unexpected donation, in 2006, Florence was able to launch ‘Mukisa’, a centre where children with special needs and their parents could be guided to learn about disability

34174 Viva Life Magazine issue 11 UK STG5 AW.indd 9

together in a safe environment. The first day saw six children and parents come, the next day 12, and today 4,000 children and their parents have attended the Mukisa centre.

Florence founded the ‘Special Children’s Trust’, which has grown into a respected charity at the forefront of advocacy for children with disabilities in Kampala. It now includes the Mukisa centre, an inclusive school, a forum of over 60 other organisations and is a key member of CRANE, Viva’s partner network in Uganda.

Being a part of CRANE has given Florence and her organisation the training, accountability and credibility to influence change at a high level in Kampala. The Trust organises awareness-raising

marches in the city and works alongside the government to identify gaps in services for children with special needs. They are also pushing the implementation of a National Needs Identification Tool so that teachers across Uganda can be equipped to best meet the needs of children in their care.

Thanks to Florence’s faithfulness and a swell of collective support, children in Kampala with disabilities are finally becoming visible, and able to see their ambitions for the future, become reality.

9

25/04/2019 09:13

STAYING FAITHFUL IN THE

STORM

Members of a local community who took part in ‘Why Families Matter’ training

How can you continue to best care for children and young people, and support families, during a deepening national humanitarian crisis?

Viva’s partner network in Venezuela is doing just that in a country that local author Ana Teresa Torres called “a slow-motion catastrophe”. In recent years, people have experienced increasing hyperinflation, food and medical shortages, as well as rising crime and unemployment.

in a state of great helplessness. The shortages of food, medicine, fuel and electricity is resulting in anxiety, frustration and tension across the population. This tension is first expressed

within families.

Strict government controls and limited economic freedoms have resulted in uncertainty and insecurity felt day after day, with aid being blocked at the border and thousands of people fleeing their country.

“There has been an increase in the presence of children, teenagers and entire families looking for something to eat in rubbish bins and dumps. Food theft has also increased in places where there are supplies. There are also children and teenagers in groups wandering and sleeping in the streets.”

It is in this context that our partner network, RENACSENIV, is bringing together 1,280 churches and organisations to reach around 430,000 children.

In 2018, the media reported that one in three fatal victims of violence were young people between 18 and 24 years old. Six out of ten people who suffer death by aggression in Venezuela are between the ages of 12 and 29.

The nature of the network’s programmes have had to shift in response to the country’s crisis. It is now providing basic foods, essential medicines and personal hygiene items to hundreds of people in three sub-regions of Venezuela.

Last year, supported by Viva’s Latin America staff team, the network trained 20 churches in six regions of the country in the ‘Why Families Matter’ programme, reaching 483 families, comprising 1,543 children and teenagers.

Maritza Sibila, Co-ordinator of the network, writes, “In the absence of public policies aimed at improving the situation, the population is left

The structure and content of the course makes it possible, in the short term, to positively impact families, helping them to reflect and decide to make a change in their lives.

10

34174 Viva Life Magazine issue 11 UK STG5 AW.indd 10

25/04/2019 09:13

© Meridith Kohut/IRIN

EQUIPPING LOCAL SAINTS TO CARE FOR CHILDREN

Shoppers waiting in line to buy a ration of bread from a small bakery

During her visit last year, Karen Moran, Viva’s network and programme facilitator for Latin America, visited Las Bateas, a fishing village in Anzoátegui state to see for herself how essential the network’s support is.

“The atmosphere here is surrounded by poverty, drugs, crime and violence but we are thankful that there is always hope,” Karen says. “One of the network co-ordinators and her husband and two children have started small study groups for children under the age of 12 years old. And one non-Christian family has opened their home to receive these children so they can meet every Friday and study ‘Why Families Matter’ together.”

Parents’ employment situation in this community puts children at risk. Fathers can only provide an income in two ways, either by fishing and by selling what they fish on the streets of the nearest city, or, they become part of a gang and steal car parts to sell to whoever offers the highest price.

In spite of this situation, there are stories of hope. Karen shares the story of Carlos and his family. “Carlos’ brother was tragically killed by a gang who entered their home in the middle of the night looking for his father. It resulted in Carlos’ father running away and leaving his family.

“Carlos started to attend a Bible study group and, during the first session, he asked for help

and prayed for his father to come home again. Carlos’ prayers were answered – his dad has temporarily returned to live with him and his three siblings. For now at least, Carlos’ father is back home, and the family are safe.”

Prayer is vital at a time like this.

“We have prayed and we continue praying a lot,” says Maritza. “It is not easy to support the network as we ourselves are in difficult situations but we thank the Lord for the family of faith, especially for the Viva family, in these challenging times.

“We have faith that this will be a year of great blessing for families in churches and the impact they may have in their neighbourhood.”

Please join us in prayer for Venezuela – for peace and strong, fair leadership, and an end to the economic and social crisis, which is tearing the nation apart. Pray too for the network of churches and individual families – that they would bring new hope for children, and bring about change in communities.

11

34174 Viva Life Magazine issue 11 UK STG5 AW.indd 11

25/04/2019 09:13

© The Dignity Campaign

PROMOTING DIGNITY Girls in Cape Town take part in an activity about their identity in God

When a teenage girl living in a socially and economically difficult area of Cape Town becomes a young mother, she is thrust into bringing up and caring for a precious new life – and yet is often ill equipped to do so.

However, if a young girl is well equipped for becoming a woman, she is less likely to be at risk as motherhood arrives. It all starts with regaining her own dignity and knowing that she is of value.

Connect, Viva’s partner network in Cape Town, is helping hundreds of people to find their

identity, belonging and purpose in God by promoting the Dignity Campaign,

established by one of its members in the city.

‘Dignity’ comprises a range of training and awareness-raising programmes.

Last year it reached 295 girls and 30 boys, plus 30 facilitators trained to teach and mentor these young people. Additionally, 60 Child Ambassadors from Connect’s ten child protection groups took part in a Dignity Day, with awareness events reaching a further 2,500 people. An empowerment programme is teaching 13-19 year-old girls about subjects such as relationships, sexuality and choices.

There is a such need for a campaign like this to spread further into townships such as Khayelitsha, where 15 facilitators have been trained to

implement the campaign with 300 mothers of pre-school children. Here, the unemployment rate among women is 64 per cent, significantly higher than the rate of 21.5 per cent among women in the Western Cape. Almost a quarter

of women in the township reported having their first child before the age of 20, and experience low education levels and high levels of abuse in the township.

The SOZO Foundation, a Connect member, reported that mothers felt very encouraged to have a programme like ‘Dignity’ in the community because they didn’t have the opportunities to learn topics that were seen as taboo. One mum in particular said that, “It was a privilege to be

given a safe space to discuss self-esteem and confidence with my daughter because I don’t want her to struggle like I did when I was a teenager.”

Pray for the Dignity Campaign as it continues with the girls’ work and also develops a parallel programme, DARE, for boys and young men.

Pray too that the network would encourage more churches to take part in it.

Training courses by Viva are consistently used by Connect for its members, including the capacity-building tool, QIS, and the Child Ambassador advocacy programme.

12

34174 Viva Life Magazine issue 11 UK STG5 AW.indd 12

25/04/2019 09:13

EQUIPPING LOCAL SAINTS TO CARE FOR CHILDREN

Schoolgirls in Patna

A FRESH UNDERSTANDING Last year, Viva India ran child protection training in 119 schools, reaching around 850 adults and almost 11,000 children in six cities. The programme, which ensures schools fully comply with the Indian government’s child protection guidelines, has gained Viva a reputation for delivering high quality training. Two teachers at schools in Patna, in Bihar state, eastern India, describe the difference it made for them not only at work but in their community too.

“In my long teaching career, this is first time I have attended child protection training which was conducted by Viva in our school.

After receiving the information, I could feel

an amazing change in my heart and thoughts towards the children, not

only as a teacher but as a mother and a citizen too.

After the training, I started advocacy on child rights and protection with children and adults, not only in my school but wherever I go, like my family and community. There are three areas that I always focus on sharing with adults: respect your child as they are, feel the child’s emotions and spend time with your child.

I am motivating children to break the silence against the abuse and

will continue my work to protect children whatever I can do. Thank you Viva for giving me a vision and mission for life!”

Aarti Kumari, teacher at St Paul’s School, Patna

“The teachers at our school now understand laws and procedures that had not previously been explained to them. They feel empowered to make better decisions in the future that would benefit the students under their care.

The support staff too have been made aware of many ways to improve their interaction with not only the students but also parents, teachers and their own children and families.

A caring and supportive staff is the backbone of the school, and my hope is that our teachers and staff will continue to work together to create a safe, happy and positive environment for our children.

Viva has not only shown their commitment by aiding us with training, but also the dedication and determination required to spread the message of treating every human being with respect in our school.”

Sharon Galstaun, assistant head of St Karen’s Primary School, Patna 13

34174 Viva Life Magazine issue 11 UK STG5 AW.indd 13

25/04/2019 09:13

© Priscilla Du Preez

TOP TIPS

Make more time to meet up with friends

TO LOOK AFTER YOUR OWN WELLBEING TO ENSURE YOU CAN BEST CARE FOR CHILDREN

Sarah Ingram from Fegans shares three crucial ways for parents to improve their own wellbeing, and therefore be best placed to meet the complex needs of their children.

Being a parent is tough, especially when juggling multiple commitments such as work, extended family, friends, and the stresses related to your child’s school such as homework and the dreaded playground peer pressure.

14

think I’m alone in feeling that sometimes my children get the worst of me rather than the best.

How can we ensure that we are meeting the emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual needs of our children? I believe that sometimes the best place to start is with ourselves.

I remember one Sunday morning, driving up to church my children were threatening to kill each other and one was in tears. We then piled out of the car and had to put on our ‘Sunday faces’ and pretend everything was great! Sometimes as Christians, we add even more pressure upon ourselves and are keen to ‘keep up appearances’.

If we are stressed, anxious and under pressure our children will often be the first to suffer: after all it’s at home where we can let off steam. I don’t

The following are three helpful tools for improving mental wellbeing as well as parenting skills:

34174 Viva Life Magazine issue 11 UK STG5 AW.indd 14

25/04/2019 09:13

EQUIPPING LOCAL SAINTS TO CARE FOR CHILDREN

1

Model the behaviour we want to see Are we able to ask friends for help? Do we make time for our adult relationships with old and new friends, spouses and extended family relationships? If you can’t remember a time when you met up with a friend, then arrange a time to do it soon. If parents have people to talk to and events to look forward to, they will feel more able to cope with all the challenges they face.

Modelling behaviour in terms of managing technology is also important. If we are encouraging our children to have screen-free times then are we modelling this? Do you leave your phone alone at mealtimes and leave it downstairs at night?

If you model good relationships with people and with technology, your children will copy (in time) and, whilst they may challenge you on this, they will be grateful in the long run.

2

Look after yourself and ask for help Try to find time for a hobby or a class or some regular exercise. Having some of these booked into your week will give you something to look forward to which is unrelated to being a parent.

If you are struggling with everything you are juggling, please don’t struggle alone. If you are honest, others will be honest with you and you will find support. Try not to put yourself under too much pressure, it’s ok to be a ‘good enough’ parent. Find time for some ‘quiet time’ when you can: it will be good for you, and your relationship with God. If this doesn’t happen daily then don’t worry, try for a weekly slot or just chat to God while doing the dishes, the school run or while watching the kids in the playground. Building in special ‘Sabbath’ family times of rest and relaxation together is as important now as ever.

3

Staying calm If you are feeling stressed, try these simple steps to help you calm down, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Here are some techniques you can use, but try and come up with some yourself too.

Breathe calmly. Breathe in through your nose, counting to three. Then hold your breath, counting to two. And then breathe out through your mouth, counting to six.

When you are feeling calm and peaceful, often your children will be feeling the same. Be kind to yourself, practise positive self-talk and, if all else fails, remember things will get better – ‘it’s only a phase’!

© Denys Nevozhai

Keep thinking about positive thoughts. Think about something you are really looking forward to or use your imagination.

Where can you go to find that all-important quiet time?

Sarah Ingram is Head of Parenting and Development for Fegans, a collaborator of Viva’s Oxford-based partner network, Doorsteps. Fegans is a Christian charity that counsels children and provides parent support, intervention and training.

34174 Viva Life Magazine issue 11 UK STG5 AW.indd 15

15

25/04/2019 09:13

Looking to expand your horizons, to learn more about what it means to be a ‘global citizen’, or simply to gain experience working in an international development organisation on the ground?

Impact is Viva’s new volunteer programme, which will see the first team going to the Philippines to work alongside our partner network, PCMN, from three months to one year, at the end of August 2019 or January 2020.

viva.org/impactprog v.price@viva.org

Viva, Unit 8, The Gallery, 54 Marston Street, Oxford, OX4 1LF t: 01865 811660

FACEBOOK.COM/VIVATOGETHERFORCHILDREN Mixed Sources Product group from well-managed forests, controlled sources and recycled wood or fibre. www.fsc.org Cert No. SA-COC-09174 Front cover: CRANE

34174 Viva Life Magazine issue 11 UK STG5 AW.indd 16

INFO@VIVA.ORG

VIVA.ORG

Viva is an operating name of Viva Network.Viva Network is a company limited by guarantee no. 3162776, registered charity no.1053389, and registered in England at Unit 8, The Gallery, 54 Marston Street, Oxford, OX4 1LF. Any children referred to have had their names and photos changed in accordance with our Child Protection Policy.

25/04/2019 09:13