Life magazine 12 (UK version)

life Inside issue 12

Mentoring children to help them thrive LIFE FOR CHILDREN AND THOSE WHO CARE FOR THEM Teenagers in India are flourishing for life

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“Being a Child Ambassador page 7 has built the inner me” Making dreams a page 12 reality in Costa Rica

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EDITORIAL

Did you ever have someone in your life who counselled you through a time you needed it the most?

As a teenager, at a time when I felt God was distant, a wonderful mentor told me: “If you are able to listen, you can often find the heartbeat of the Spirit woven throughout the day in unexpected places – you just need to be open to hearing it and following it.”

To this day, her advice reminds me to find

signs of light and life of God at work, particularly when it seems darkest.

I would not have a deep-rooted faith today if it were not for this relationship.

Children all over the world are growing up in situations of deep, deep darkness: a darkness that looms heavy, like a thick blanket indiscriminately smothering lives, hopes and futures.

The concept of ‘mentoring’ is so simple; an empowering guide to help children to navigate darkness that they often have to deal with alone. I hope that, as you read on, you are inspired by the immense impact local Christians are having as they walk with young people in India, Uganda, Costa Rica, Zambia, Bolivia and right here in the UK.

This Christmas, giving to ‘Expanding Horizons’ – Viva’s 2019 Christmas Match Appeal – will support this worldwide mentoring movement releasing children once trapped without hope into a new season with new horizons.

Your generosity will empower children to catch glimpses of the Spirit’s heartbeat through mentors who are inspired by the ultimate role model: our Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting

Father, Prince of Peace. Fill in the form enclosed or give online at viva.org/christmasappeal – and your gift will be doubled.

Thank you so much. Wishing you joy and peace this Christmas.

Vicki Price Fundraising and Engagement Co-ordinator

‘On those who live in a land of deep darkness, a light has dawned… For to us a child is born… and he will be called Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.’ (Isaiah 9: 2 & 6)

We are an international Christian charity passionate about changing more children’s lives more effectively. We achieve this by growing locally-led networks who are committed to working together so that children can fulfil their God-given potential.

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Last year, Viva reached over 2 million children by partnering with 38 networks and working in 27 countries. Find out more at viva.org

MENTORING CHILDREN TO HELP THEM THRIVE

MATT’S

STORY

© Japheth Mast

Walking alongside and empowering a young person is an invested journey, with plenty of ups and downs, says youth worker Hannah Woods.

We’re helping young people in Oxford look outwards again

During library lessons, I regularly read with young people to get to know them and identify who might benefit from youth work contact in future. It was during this time that a Year 7 boy called Matt and I discovered a shared love of geeky science fiction.

the mentoring time. Young people don’t give up lunch breaks lightly! I worked with his school pastoral lead and his tutor to ensure safeguarding, transparency and the best levels of collaborative care we could provide for Matt.

There were a number of lovely, but slightly wild, boys whom I felt would benefit from a youth group of some description. Through conversation with them, the concept of ‘Stick Club’ was born – going into the wooded areas around school and building things out of branches and twigs. Matt enjoyed Stick Club in Year 8 and engaged well, even when his peers threatened mutiny.

It was a rocky few months but Matt’s home situation improved, creating a knock-on positive impact on his wellbeing. He has started looking outwards again – a strong indicator of feeling safer, more resourced and wanting to contribute again in his community. During our weekly mentoring sessions the idea of forming a ComicCon Club emerged. Matt knew of a teacher who would be keen to collaborate, and young people who would be interested. Matt is now in Year 10, and ComicCon Club is gathering momentum and bringing young people together.

At the end of that year he asked to come back as a young leader, paving the way for what is now a developing young leader programme.

Sadly, part-way through Year 9, Matt’s general mood and behaviour became troubled due to an unsettled home life. We mutually agreed that he step back from being a young leader at Stick Club, but I had capacity to work with him one-to-one. He gave up his lunch break to meet with me, which indicates how much he valued

Matt needed a time of intensive one-to-one mentoring, but now he’s ready to share his ideas with the world. We’ve walked with him from a tiddly 11-year-old to a tall 14-year-old, and we’re still there, excited to see what the next few years will hold.

Hannah Woods is Lead Youth Worker with Doorsteps, Viva’s partner network in Oxford.

Doorsteps features in ‘Expanding Horizons’, our Christmas Match Appeal 2019 – go to viva.org/christmasappeal for more details.

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FLOURISHING

FOR LIFE

Preeti leading a Flourish session for girls in Delhi

Andrew Dubock travelled to Delhi to see how a new Viva mentoring programme is laying down strong roots for girls to help them flourish into the future.

There is a buzz in the room. The group of 20 teenage girls create a positive energy, listening to and respecting one another, and talking about plans and hopes, with an air of confidence.

that teenagers need in order to keep themselves healthy and safe, to build resilience, to raise aspirations and to prepare for life as valued members of their communities.

Rewind six months, and I imagine I would have felt a very different atmosphere here, marked by shyness, fear, anger, and plenty of eyes looking at the floor.

In a society in which they are discriminated and abused, India’s girls desperately need protecting, educating, motivating and empowering – and Flourish aims to do just this. Its impact will be seen for years to come as girls continue their studies, are not forced into child marriage and know how to say no to exploitation and abuse.

These girls’ remarkable journeys are as a result of a new Viva programme being rolled out by the partner network here in Delhi, in other cities in India, and across Asia.

Flourish is a life skills course for teenagers, which introduces knowledge, skills and attitudes 4

Preeti Masih, Viva India’s life skills co-ordinator, tells me about the default position for girls in Delhi.

“Each day, the children I meet face a lot of issues regarding self-esteem and they have very little

MENTORING CHILDREN TO HELP THEM THRIVE Preeti says, “In the introductory session, the girls were unable to respond or participate in any activities or answer any questions. When we involved them in role plays and craft activities, they slowly started learning, coming up with good ideas about improving their self-esteem and telling their stories.”

Viva’s network model makes the programme especially effective because local individuals and churches in the network can work together to provide quality training, and to have a greater influence together across a city.

I’m meeting some of the girls that have been impacted through this year’s pilot of Flourish, to understand just why its input has been so crucial at this point in their lives.

The Mayapuri slum community in south west Delhi

confidence,” she tells me. “There is pressure from teachers and parents about their studies, and they can often feel that they are worthless and not good people.”

She adds, “Teenagers are confused about the changes they are going through. Parents cannot always see it and deal with it. Our programme makes girls aware of this transition – their physical, behavioural and emotional changes – and how each of them can enhance their skills and ability to be the best they can in the future.”

Flourish consists of 17 sessions, taught over a six to eight-month period. There are clear values and principles running throughout it (see the box on the next page). It covers three main areas: ‘Knowing myself ’ (self-esteem; goals and purpose; puberty; emotional intelligence), ‘Relating to others’ (friendship, positive peer influence; respect for differences; team work) and ‘Making decisions about my life’ (good health, decision making, keeping safe; social responsibility).

Fifteen-year-old Kajal bubbles with confidence as she tells me, “I have learned so much about dealing with peer pressure and improving my self-esteem; about setting goals and having a purpose in life. If I feel unsafe, I know now how to report a problem, follow a process and to get to a safety zone. I know now I can make a difference where I live. I don’t want Flourish to stop and I’m ready to take the same sessions again to answer any more questions I have!”

Whilst Preeti teaches the main Flourish sessions, Sangheeta provides one-to-one mentoring for the girls in their homes. I join Sangheeta on a visit to the Mayapuri slum community in south west Delhi, to understand more about the girls’ background situations.

Walking through narrow alleyways, I am moved by families living in cramped, makeshift homes that are squeezed into a small strip of land, with factories on one side and the railway track on the other. It’s unclean and unhygienic – no place to bring up a child. But these families have no choice. Most parents are uneducated and working in a nearby factory where they only earn the equivalent of around £150 a month.

Flourish aims to break the generational cycle of underachievement and low self-esteem. The girls from Mayapuri don’t have positive values passed down from their parents because they were unable to value themselves. Sangheeta and Preeti are providing continued on next page 5

a new way for both teenage children and their parents to live their lives, have positive values and be more confident.

Sangheeta tells me about a girl called Karishma.

When she came along to the first Flourish session, she was abusive, did not respect her parents and had unhealthy friendships. Flourish has instilled a remarkable change in Karishma’s behaviour – she talks positively and respects her parents. It is helping her to be a better person – she knows God has a plan for her and that she is not worthless, which is how she used to think.

Sangheeta’s one-to-one mentoring improves girls’ confidence

The image of a flourishing tree runs through the whole course. The roots represent three core values and underpin everything that is taught. They sustain the trunk which is made of seven principles.

Core values Because: • I am a unique and precious creation • I respect myself and others • I am an asset to my community Principles: I will: • Keep on learning and growing • Find my purpose and focus on my goals • Be a positive influence • Connect to those who build me up • Make wise choices • Keep myself safe • Follow my conscience 6

Sangheeta says, “I want to give these children a better life, not to stay in slums, but to guide them along the right path. Parents now want to send their children to Flourish – that’s proof of impact! When I visit the houses, the parents welcome me in and give me respect.

Parents feel their children are gaining values, which can be seen in their lives.”

“Whenever I work with children I am motivated because they are very vulnerable,” adds Preeti. “They are the future of the nation.

This course is not just important for a child but it’s important for human beings – to do good in life. It gives children an open platform to think for themselves.”

This year, Viva has piloted Flourish for more than 250 girls in India. Our goal is to reach 100 teenages children in each of the seven cities with a Viva partner network. After visiting Delhi, I had planned to see the programme in action in Patna (with sessions for both girls and boys in children’s homes) but it was unfortunately cancelled because of extensive flooding in the city following monsoon rains.

It’s a stark reminder about the fragility of the places in which Viva works – and why our grassroots partner networks are so essential.

Flourish features in ‘Expanding Horizons’, Viva’s Christmas Match Appeal 2019. Go to viva.org/christmasappeal to watch videos, find out more and to support our global mentoring work.

© CRANE

MENTORING CHILDREN TO HELP THEM THRIVE XXXXX XXXXXX

BEING A CHILD “AMBASSADOR HAS BUILT THE

INNER ME”

16-year-old Jackie in Kampala, Uganda told us what Viva’s Child Ambassadors programme means to her.

How did you first hear about CRANE, Viva’s partner network?

Child Ambassadors came together for activities such as camp, sports and music among others.

Far back when I was still in primary school. At first I thought it was a bank but I found CRANE had a full meaning – Children at Risk Action Network.

What was your best achievement as a Child Ambassador?

What did you learn as a Child Ambassador?

Many things! First, I learnt life skills like being confident, having self-esteem and public speaking.

I learnt other skills too; for example, fruit and vegetable gardening and improving sanitation. I learnt how to decide wisely and appropriately. I learnt to reflect on my life with God, to love God and the Bible – in the Safe Club we put God first in everything we did.

How did it feel to be a Child Ambassador?

So good! I met many new people and went to places I never thought of going to. The skills I learnt have now become part of me. I always stood up for myself and others, for change in all situations. It felt extra good on days where all the

I have come to know that I am a person who loves God very much. I still remember the first memory verse we were given as Child Ambassadors – ‘I can do all this through him who gives me strength’ (Philippians 4: 13). This verse gives me hope in life.

How has being a Child Ambassador had an impact on your life today?

It has built the inner me. The Jackie who is confident, has high self-esteem and is good at decision-making. The Jackie who can fight for her rights and the rights of others. I would strongly recommend other children join because I believe it is a life-changing programme. Long live CRANE, long live Child Ambassadors!

Interview by Immaculate Nanfuka, CRANE’s Network Quality Assurance Manager

There are 400 Child Ambassadors like Jackie in Uganda and 7,000 children have benefited from Viva’s Child Ambassadors programme in Uganda, with thousands more around the world. These children are mentored through their journey and empowered with knowledge of their rights, and how to speak up for them and the rights of others.

Read the full interview with Jackie at https://bit.ly/JackieCA 7

VIVA’S YOUTH MENTORING: THE GLOBAL PICTURE CHILD AMBASSADORS

Goal: To equip children with knowledge about their rights and skills to protect themselves from abuse, identify abuse and respond appropriately and to teach others about what they learn.

How it works: Children are trained in life skills, rights and leadership. They attend camps and seminars to build their skills and encourage them to teach other children about their rights and child protection. In Uganda, Child Ambassadors are supported to set up Safe Clubs for other children and young people.

Children impacted: 1,214 Child Ambassadors trained last year.

More on page 7

PREPARATION FOR ADULT LIFE

Goal: To empower young people living in care homes or without a supportive family structure to prepare for adulthood with joy and purpose.

How it works: Network volunteers hold half-day sessions once a month to boost young people’s self-esteem and build their vocational and life skills. At the end of the process, with support from the team, young people develop an independent life plan.

Children impacted: 210 children benefitting from adult life preparedness.

More on page 12 8

FIND YOUR FIRE

Goal: To improve the lives, aspiration and safeguarding of young people in Oxford, UK. How it works: Young people attend Spark Groups once a week for a year for peer leadership training, plus coaching and mentoring. Young people gain a level 1 NOCN award in Peer Leadership helping to improve their employment opportunities.

Children impacted: 14 young people completed Find Your Fire this year and 11 have their accreditation.

More on page 3

MENTORING CHILDREN TO HELP THEM THRIVE

FLOURISH

Goal: To provide a framework of life skills rooted in values and principles that gives teenagers an opportunity to flourish into adulthood.

How it works: Young people are given lessons about their uniqueness, self-respect and their value in community, and principles such as being a positive influence and how to keep safe. One-to-one mentoring is available for additional support.

Children impacted: 269 young people are enrolled or have participated this year.

More on page 4

YOUTH 4 SAFETY

Goal: To train youth advocates, representing children and young people in their communities and to influence city authorities in the Philippines.

How it works: Children are equipped to provide training to other children and young people on topics such as child rights, online safety and how to prevent and respond to abuse. Youth for Safety National Offices build a strong youth voice that advocates against child sexual abuse and exploitation.

Children impacted: 126 youth advocates were equipped last year; taught 963 children and young people about safety online. 45 youth advocates are part of the six Youth for Safety National Offices.

GOOD TREATMENT CAMPAIGN

Goal: To train young people to lead campaigns reaching thousands of children and adults with positive messages about how to treat children well.

How it works: Young people design activities and methods to send out promise cards and gather signatures from adults who commit to follow five simple steps to treat children well. These young people are supported to lead teams of their peers to carry out the campaign.

Children impacted: 2,294 children were trained to lead the campaign last year with 75,565 children promoting it. Together they gave promise cards to 218,215 adults and gathered 70,183 signatures.

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The Discipleship programme is empowering children to protect themselves

GROWING IN CONFIDENCE A new discipleship programme in Zambia aims to involve young people in learning how to protect themselves by taking them on a journey of self-discovery, learning who they are in Christ.

‘Discipleship’ is currently running in six different communities in Lusaka, Zambia. Each community was asked to suggest twenty 12-18 year-olds to attend, particularly focusing on children who are not in school, those who have reported abuse, those with physical disabilities, or those who have been orphaned or head up their households.

discussions and participate in activities around specific Bible-based topics with weekly tasks given to work on before the next meeting. The course has three clear aims: to build positive friendships, self-esteem and confidence; to equip children to be able to participate in discussions and to empower children to protect themselves both in the real world and online.

Most houses in these communities have no running water or electricity. They are densely populated and have high cases of abuse. Houses are built so close together that, if child abuse happens, neighbours will know but sadly not report it. Children living here who are educated often attend church-run community schools, which have poor infrastructure and are run by volunteers with little access to quality educational material.

Throughout the journey so far, it has been amazing to see how some of the shy children have grown in confidence and now participate in the discussions, volunteer to pray before or after a session and offer personal experiences for others to learn from. One girl in Chelstone community shared how her mother had sent her to buy something from a nearby shop in the evening. Following the session on child protection, the child told her mother she did not feel safe walking alone in the evening, and her mother listened to her.

We have around 86 children altogether coming for ‘Discipleship’ sessions. Some children are inconsistent in attending because of distance to travel or needing to help with household chores.

The series is designed to be completed in three months, with one session every fortnight, lasting three hours. In each session, children have 10

We are excited to see where God is taking each young person and we are so glad we can be part of their journey!

By Sam Fairs-Billam, a co-ordinator of the Samalani Children at Risk (SCAR) network in Lusaka, Zambia

MENTORING CHILDREN TO HELP THEM THRIVE Antonio from Oruro, Bolivia describes the positive impact of Viva’s partner network when he was a child – and why he still believes in it today.

“I HAVE LIVED THROUGH RADICAL CHANGE” My name is Antonio. I study in Oruro.

I am 21 years old and I work with the children in my church.

While I was still at school, I was chosen to be part of the network leadership school and had the opportunity to join discussions of Viva’s network here. At the age of eight, I was discussing everything that concerned children and became a spokesperson for them.

This work continued to increase as I grew older, and I represented children in 2011 at the international parliament. All the children worked together and we were invited to present our thoughts and feelings.

Many things happened when I was growing up. I went through many difficult experiences. So, I was pretty mixed up inside. I was in a difficult space; a bit closed in.

The more I was involved, the more I understood God’s love for me. This began to change my life.

So now I am different.

The work that Viva Network Oruro does with the churches and others in the community focuses on children. It is necessary, and I believe this is an essential way to helping children in Bolivia.

Viva trains children like me to be spokespeople, so they are listened to. I must complete my studies so that I can help others to complete their studies too – so that children can have access to state education and that they understand their rights. More than anything we must stop the bad things that happen to them.

Viva opened the door for me and gave me an opportunity, and things began to change in my life.

We are living in difficult times and we must work to support the children to know they are not abandoned, but to come into the Kingdom of God, to know Christ.

I have lived through a radical change. I was very quiet and afraid and I could never have imagined that I would be involved in something like speaking up for the rights of children and young people.

I’m pleased to know that many more children will also experience the opportunity in life that I have been given.

Watch Antonio share his testimony at http://bit.ly/AntoniosStory 11

Š Willow Creek

MAKING DREAMS A REALITY

We’re empowering teenagers to enter adulthood with joy and purpose

Growing up without loving parental support, teenagers in Costa Rica are left depressed and confused about what the future might hold as they enter adulthood. Joel Porras writes about how a mentoring programme, run by our partner network, is giving them hope of a brighter future.

A quarter of homicides in Costa Rica take place in Alajuelita and Desamparados: two communities in San Jose where our partner network is working. The network’s situational mapping found that last year only 18 per cent of children aged between five and 17 years in these communities completed their basic education.

Many who grow up in these communities are trapped in a cycle of drug abuse, gangs and poverty. Young people are lacking positive 12

role models so need guidance and extra support to help them make positive life choices to prevent them from falling into this same negative cycle.

Red Viva Costa Rica brings its 61 member churches and organisations together to respond collectively with initiatives including feeding centres, educational support, and clubs for positive use of recreational time to reduce the risk of involvement in gangs.

MENTORING CHILDREN TO HELP THEM THRIVE As part of the response, more than 500 children between the ages of ten and 18 living in these communities or government care homes are benefitting from the Preparation for Adult Life programme.

This is a mentoring programme which develops skills and confidence and considers future vocations with the goal that the teenagers will be empowered to enter adulthood with joy and purpose.

Most teenagers on the programme tell us that they want to study, and they all agree that they want to change the negative life they have had. They dream of many different professions, but this is a dream that they see as very difficult to achieve. During their life, they have been told that they cannot do things, that they are not good at studying, and that they are not wanted.

As this programme is run by a network of local churches, alongside lessons in vocational skills and self-confidence, these young people also build deep relationships with the churches who support them through these challenging times. They are also given the gift of belonging, through personal relationships with the church volunteers.

Together, churches have an opportunity to change young people’s stories. Despite their past, we are focused on their future. We believe that they are able to learn, that they are not alone. We want young people to know that their dreams, which many see as impossible, can come true – and we are there to help on their journey to make their dreams a reality.

Joel Porras is Network and Programme Facilitator for Viva in Latin America and the Caribbean

José is 17 years old and the leader of a Bible study group for young people in the church. His father was a drug trafficker and left his family when José was young. His mother struggled with other relationships and was absent much of the time.

Being the older child, José often had to find food for himself and his three sisters but many times he was unable find food for the day.

He dropped out of school to work in construction and ensure he had money to buy food for the family.

He and his sisters often went to the local church feeding centre for food.

Here, the volunteers invited José to join the Preparation for Adult Life programme. Through it he received psychological support to help him begin to heal from the difficult experiences he faced. The programme helped José find his vocation and to know that he is not alone. This year, he has been inspired and supported to go to college.

He says: “Though I struggle with mathematics, I will continue until I am a professional. One day I want to help others study and get out of the situation in which we live”.

Churches are supporting young people through challenging times 13

© Hammersmith & Fulham Council

4TOP

TIPS

by Nick Francis

Fostering intergenerational relationships is key to supporting young people in church

HOW TO SUPPORT YOUNG PEOPLE IN

YOUR CHURCH

Picture the scene. A large family meal is taking place, but there are two tables. At one sit all the adults, engaged in conversation and eating politely. At the other table sit the children, complete with plastic crockery, food spilled everywhere in a scene not entirely unlike the Lord of the Flies. Sound familiar?

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Now imagine that scene in a church context.

The adults are in one room together, hearing from God’s Word, worshipping and praying, sharing and learning. The young people are taught separately and may never experience what happens in that other room, until one day they are informed they are too old for this room and must fit into the other room, with no experience or support.

I believe that as churches we need to head to a ‘one-table’ model where everything is done side-by-side – where children are paired up with adults, who can help them learn how to use ‘cutlery’ and who can be observed modelling relationships, values and behaviours. Whilst it definitely requires more work, the outcome is much more beneficial for both parties.

For too long and too often, our approach to supporting young people in church has been this ‘two-table’ approach. Instead,

Here are four top tips I’ve picked up from my own personal experiences about how we can best support young people in our churches.

MENTORING CHILDREN TO HELP THEM THRIVE

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Intentionally foster intergenerational relationships Young people will not, by nature, talk to people outside of their demographic, or friendship circle. Particularly the older generations.

Yet it’s these people we want to encourage the young people to get to know. People with wisdom, people who are mature in their faith, people who have experienced some of their struggles. So what needs to happen to find a way to make these two worlds collide?

In one of my youth groups I did a very simple activity. Whilst the young people were out during the service I asked them all to think of one thing they wanted prayer for, and to write it on a piece of paper.

Then, at the end of the session I asked them to take those pieces of paper and approach an older person, who they didn’t know and give them that piece of paper. I watched at the end of the service, and it happened! The young people needed some courage, but they did it, and the old people were delighted! This should breed an ongoing conversation and relationship, and lead on to more prayer requests, more conversation and hopefully a mutual relationship.

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Mentoring As my initial reflection illustrated, one of the most profound and biggest impacts we can have on our young people is through one-to-one discipleship or mentoring. It goes without saying that this has to be done in accordance with best safeguarding practices.These mentoring relationships can be short-term with a specific outcome, or done on an ad-hoc basis or on a longer term understanding.These relationships give you a unique opportunity to help a young person on an individual, specific basis. Done well, they equip and release young people and also challenge and encourage them as they grow in their faith.

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Discover (and use) their giftings

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Involve the parents

Additional reading Mend the Gap Can the Church Reconnect the Generations? (Jason Gardner) – a powerful book about the virtues of intergenerational ministry.

Getting your Kids through Church without them Ending up Hating God (Rob Parsons) – an encouraging and user-friendly book for youthworkers, parents and everybody else in your church.

Sticky Faith (Kara Powell) – a practical guide to seeing change in your church’s approach to children and young people.

YFC Research – Gen Z – Rethinking Culture.

You can get free access to it at https://yfc.co.uk/ rethinkingculture

If you find someone a role, or purpose, you are far more likely to keep them onboard. The same goes for young people. Find out what they’re good at, what excites them, what motivates them and then find ways of including that in your church life. That may involve taking a few risks, it certainly will be about creating spaces where it is safe to try and fail. But if you show young people that you’re willing to invest in them, then they will repay that and invest in you.

Recent research has shown that family is by far the most important influence on a young person’s spiritual thinking and development.

Therefore it is imperative that whatever work you are trying to do, the parents must be co-partners with you. Whether that’s through simple approaches such as letting parents know the themes and passages you are exploring, or providing resources that parents can then use at home to further discussions that have been had away from home. Go the extra mile by providing workshops, resources or events specifically for parents to equip them in their role as they seek to disciple their own children.

Nick Francis has over 20 years of youth work experience, as a volunteer and paid professional.

He lives in Oxfordshire with his wife and two children.

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