Vivian Cavazos Elizabeth Eakman Rhetoric and Comp II
Table of Contents
Self-Assessment Rhetorical Analysis Research paper
Vivian Cavazos 3101 W. Iris Ave. Mcallen, TX 78501
December 6, 2015 Beth Eakman Re St. Edward's University 3001 S. Congress Austin, TX 78704
2015 SELF ASSESMENT
Dear Beth, I can honestly say I have learned way more in this class with you than I did at South Texas College. Before your class, I never really understood what rhetoric meant. Thanks to you, my spiral is filled with the definition. Rhetoric is strategies or choices we use to make the purpose for our intended audience. Our style, voice and tone are all rhetorical strategies I appreciated working on in this class. The final research paper has been the most influential assignment to me. You simplified the entire process of the research paper step by step. This not only helped with the organization of how to properly separate my work, but the development of my essay as well. An example would be the synthesis map. That will definitely be a strategy that I will carry with me for future writing assignments. Making an outline was a lot simpler once I had a written idea of how I was going to present everything. Developing a thesis with paragraphs that supported my claim with evidence was the most difficult thing for me. I would constantly trail off and add facts about a different topic. In my rough draft I remember writing about assault,a child’s comprehensibility and what age a child’s brain fully develops all in the same paragraph.
I realize now how chaotic and overwhelming this might have been for the reader. This would give the reader a hard time remembering and understanding my initial argument. Deciding on the proper wording on my thesis was also a struggle. I needed to include rape, suicide, gangs and how all of these factors prove that an adult prison is not where a child should be held. Trying to not make it too wordy I came up with this: “Along with rape, teens are faced with constant assault and are driven to depression resulting in suicide. No adolescent should be housed in an adult prison because they face assault, rape, gang affiliations and suicide.” I was satisfied with how the following paragraphs correlated with it. This would not have been as structured if it wasn’t for the outline and synthesis map. Thank you so much Beth for helping me find another method that was effective. Having Freedom and Rights linked with my rhetoric class was helpful when we discussed similar topics. Rhetoric and Freedom and Rights tied in together perfectly during the time we discussed Bryan Stevenson’s book, Just Mercy. There were a variety of things we learned in our Freedom and Rights class (some of them being effective hearing and note taking skills.) What stood out to me the most was when we discussed the meaning of freedom in the twenty-first century, and how we have come to embrace it. We learned the origin of democracy, and how we achieved it. Dr. Long and Dr. Glenn explained human rights, and the reason the definition continues to change. Emma, Lyndon, Megan and I even used this topic as our final paper and presentation in Freedom and Rights. There was so much history behind this topic; it was hard to narrow it down. We also discovered the economic, social, and numerous issues around the world. Now, at end of the semester, I have learned to appreciate more what we have and how much it took to get where we are.
Lauren Ayoub was beyond amazing. She was so incredibly helpful. It was reassuring that we can text her questions and she would respond that same day. Lauren was patient and willing to answer basic questions and able to do quick revisions on our rough drafts. I would definitely recommend Lauren, she made a terrific teachers assistant! Again, thank you so much for this semester Beth, you have definitely been an influence to me. I’ll miss you and your optimistic and energetic character! Love, Vivian Cavazos
Vivian Cavazos Beth Eakman Re FSTY 1313.07 Fall 2015 Rhetorical Analysis How America’s Justice System Failed our Children As a criminal justice lawyer; Bryan Stevenson, the author of Just Mercy, has represented countless wrongly convicted victims. Harvard prepared him for hardships in defending these individuals, but never did they prepare him for the emotional impact of witnessing a fourteen year old on death row. Imagine yourself standing before a five foot tall, under 100 pounds child named Charlie. Stevenson’s argument that minors should not be charged with adult punishments is effective because it includes pathos, logos and ethos appeals while supporting with credible examples. Bryan Stevenson was motivated to write about Charlie, because he wanted to educate the public that children younger that sixteen have been sentenced to die in the United States. He represented some of these juveniles in Alabama, the state with the most children sentenced to death per capita. Charlie serves as a representation for all other children and helps spread the knowledge of injustice and cruel and unreasonable punishment through minors. He writes in a way to stir our compassion. {Targeting the origin of children, his intended audience is parents and grandparents. } Compassion -‐ preface, runs throughout book Bryan Stevenson’s use of pathos is strong throughout the book. Providing a detailed description of Charlie and his experience, he is aware that it would have a very strong emotional appeal since they would automatically picture their own children going through that misfortune. Hitting not too far from home, Stevenson kept his language choice and complexity average. This helps the audience keep interest without missing key points in his argument. He emphasizes that Charlie is fourteen and has experienced some traumatic
experiences. “George would often come home drunk and begin acting violently.” (117) George is Charlie’s mother’s boyfriend. He is not biologically his father, but serves as no excuse for he is a representation of a father figure. “George beat Charlie’s mother so mercilessly that she required medical treatment.“ In no way is a drunk with violent behavior tolerable for someone at a young age to experience. “…he punched her hard in the face… She collapsed to the floor with the crush of his blow… there was some blood on her face, but it poured from an ugly cut on the back of her head.” (117) This event itself can engrave a horrifying memory upon any person. This is only the beginning. Upon being held in the small county jailed, Charlie was not protected as a minor. “There were three men who hurt me on the first night. They touched me and made me do things. Tears were streaming down his face. His voice was high-‐pitched and strained with anguish.” (123) Charlie had been sexually abused and raped. He was only then, moved to a nearby juvenile facility. Not only does having a child in prison automatically pull in the audiences attention in, the fact that he has been sexually abused and raped can definitely be a stab to the heart of many families across America. He’s just a little boy. Children are innocent and fragile. How is this justice? Punishment in prison is supposed to rehabilitate, but it is in fact destroying Charlie. In Just Mercy, Stevenson’s logical appeal is his focus on a child. Charlie is going through trial for practicing his right to self-‐defense. It is not logical to have a minor served as an adult. Research shows that a male brain is not fully developed until the age twenty-‐ four. Mitigating circumstances support that a judge will not place a woman in an all male facility, so why include a young boy into an adult facility? Stevenson acquires ethos from the start with his credentials. He is a graduate of Harvard, with both a Masters in Public Policy from the Kennedy School of Government, and has defended people on death row for over 30 years. His representation of Charlie and countless other capital defendants and death row prisoners victims helps the effectiveness of his argument. These years of work have made him an expert. Being resource-‐deprived, Stevenson had to fight hard to serve the unfortunate. There was self-‐sacrifice. He did it out
of moral conviction. He gives a great perspective of injustice that results from inequality and racism. His arguments and his strong passion gain the audience’s trust and agreement. The overall perspective created by Stevenson convinces readers the scope of injustice that these are human beings being destroyed by our criminal justice system rather than just meaningless numbers being piled up. He manages to make they audience empathize Charlie and begin to question the morality of imprisoning children. Do we care enough to make an impact and change the system?
Cavazos 1 Â Â Vivian Cavazos Elizabeth Eakman English 1313 12 November 2015
Juveniles in the Adult Criminal Justice System are at Risk
Adolescents are not equipped for protection against aggressive adults. Along with rape, teens are faced with constant assault and are driven to depression resulting in suicide. No adolescent should be housed in an adult prison because they face assault, rape, gang affiliations and suicide. One of the common dangers of a minor being incarcerated in an adult prison is assault. In Ohio, a deputy jailer assaulted a 15-year-old girl after she was placed in an adult prison for a minor infraction. Assault is a misdemeanor in our society, and prison should be no different. A study by the Commission on Safety and Abuse in America's Prisons found statistics on youth being twice as likely to report being "beaten up" by staff. The juveniles in adult prison were also 50 percent more likely to report being attacked with a weapon. These are children. Physically and mentally, and they are being taken advantage of since they are easy targets for sexual abuse. This is no environment for a juvenile; they are being targeted and are unable to defend themselves. Adolescents housed in an adult prison can also be subjected to rape. Martin Forst, the Director of the Juvenile Justice Project, and his colleagues who researched Youth In
Cavazos 2 Prisons and Training Schools found that five times as many youth held in adult prisons answered yes to the question "has anyone attempted to sexually attack or rape you" than those held in juvenile institutions. Close to ten percent of the youth interviewed reported unwarranted sexual advances and violence in the adult prisons, while closer to one percent reported the same in the juvenile institution. A juvenile being raped in prison is still an ongoing problem. A perfect representation of a minor placed in an abusive adult prison is a 14-year-old boy named Charlie. Bryan Stevenson, an American lawyer, social justice activist, was able to hear, represent and help spread this minor’s traumatic story. “There were three men who hurt me on the first night. They touched me and made me do things…there were so many last night. I don’t know how many there were, but they hurt me…” (Stevenson 124) A five-foot, less than a hundred pound boy is not going to be able to defend himself against adult criminals. As a society, we should not let this happen under any circumstances. There should be more public awareness about this issue. It is unethical to leave them at such a state. It is an unspoken duty to protect children, yet we are placing them in an environment that may do more harm than good to their future. Fearful of the rituals being done to them, they may become desperate to be accepted and find protection somehow. Those involved in the corrections aspect of the criminal justice system know that gang activity is a way of life in prison. In some cases adolescents who are not physically or mentally strong enough to survive on their own tend to seek gangs for their acceptance, and their protection. Agreeing to a gang life style will ensure the person freedom from harassment and assault from other inmates. Tracy E. Barnhart, a Marine combat veteran and police officer with the City of Galion Ohio claims, “Youth join gangs
Cavazos 3 for different reasons, the common denominator is that they are tired of being picked on, and want a support system (someone to have their back).” While in an adult prison, minors are isolated and restricted, gangs can provide all of the resources they need for surviving deprivation and trauma. Once in a gang affiliation, the member must stay loyal and remain in the group long after their sentence is over. The minor may choose to continue their life as a gang member. The purpose of being deprived of certain freedoms and confined is to learn to take responsibility and learn from ones mistakes. This is the total opposite of what was the intended outcome of the minor. The minor may return to the society and continue where previous gang members left off. The Centers for Disease Control reports that youth who are transferred to the adult system are approximately 34 percent more likely than youth retained in the juvenile court system to be rearrested for a felony. T.J Parsell, a human rights activist dedicated to ending sexual violence in detention, and an author of the New York Times admits, “Most juveniles who serve time are eventually released. They will either be traumatized from sexual assault or hyperviolent from having learned to fend off the threat.” The outcome of the juvenile’s life however, may be prevented. A gang is expected in the adult prison system, but in juvenile jails it’s much more subtle. The youth don’t generally boast about their gang affiliation. This does not mean that it is not there, but adolescents have a greater chance of avoiding gang involvement in a juvenile detention center than in an adult prison since it is not as profound. In order to guide the teens to a better future, they should not place them in an adult prison at all. They should be detained in a juvenile detention center. Joining a gang may not be the best verdict for every kid, and many face depression while being incarcerated. A study funded by the Office of Juvenile Justice and
Cavazos 4 Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP), Michael G. Flaherty, a researcher with the Community Research Forum at the University of Illinois discovered that the suicide rate of juveniles in adult jails is 7.7 times higher than that of juvenile detention centers. In one year, four children being held in Kentucky jails "for offenses ranging from disorderly conduct, to non-offenses, like running away from home" committed suicide. This form of juvenile delinquency may be a result of depression that may have developed during incarceration. The thought of remaining in a brutal facility might make them more apprehensive of remaining there. At such a young age, juveniles are not yet fully responsible, they don’t know the true consequences of their actions. The level of punishment should not be equivalent to an adult all because of a minor infraction or misdemeanor. It is evident that juveniles are abused in prison. It is self-destructive and selfdefeating. The conditions are unacceptable and they are not mentally or physically capable of being detained there. These children need safety, structure and education. Adolescents should not be tried as adults. These kids should be in middle school dances, not preoccupied with trying to survive in the prison system. As a society we should take action and guide these children in a better direction. We can start by placing them in a better environment and ensuring their safety and rehabilitation.
Happy Holidays! Thanks again for such great semester!