FEB 2021
Net liggies Shakin’ it Up with Bobi who gives us four NP Rooibos mocktail recipes
Talks The Pad Run and period poverty
Queen Of Smoke
The Ultimate Mogul Mama
Meet Stacey-Lee May the female drifter and the South African contestant on Netflix’s Hyperdrive
Deliciously healthy meal recipes by Rushda Moosajee and wholesome and hearty meals from Chef Ayesha Suliman
The feel lekke edition W e c at c h u p w i t h Pa x t o n a b o u t t h e pa s t y e a r , her new music and plans for the future.
IT’S LEKKE TO KOPPEL FEELINGS:
The Giveaway
Vrou m ens is a n e nt it y of V K Med i a Contributors: Jade Rhode Charlene Petersen Ayesha Suliman Rushtush Claudia Mulder Lucia Dramat Aithne Molotsane
*Opinion pieces and interviews are the opinions of the writers and interviewees, and do not necessarily reflect the views of Vroumens.
Vroumens
@Vroumens
CONTENTS 05
Skud saam met cover girl Paxton Fielies
08
Mogul Mama Rushtush on family fitness
10
Queen of Smoke: 25-year-old Stacey-Lee May
12
DIY your home office with Charlene Petersen
15
Dite is Life
23
Net liggies: Bobi’s four mocktail recipes
26
Top 10 greatest things about 2020
27
What are you feeding your baby? Baby Cubes owner talks about the benefits of organic baby food
32
Kroon is Koning: 5 side hustle tips
33
Shifting your attitude with Lucia Dramat
35
Farah Fortune talks The Pad Run and period poverty
38
Photography: Supplied Image
VK Vroumens Style
39
Opinion Piece: Aithne Molotsane
42
It’s lekke to koppel feelings: The Giveaway 03 | VROUMENS
COVER STORY: PAXTON FIELIES
SKUD SAAM MET Paxton Fielies
Photography: Keenan Lucian Heyns
- Jade Rhode
05 | VROUMENS
COVER STORY: PAXTON FIELIES
F
our years ago, at just 17 years old, Paxton Fielies – an ordinary high school student at Belhar High School for the Arts – gained fame by winning Idols South Africa Season 13. Now, the almost 21-year-old songstress is undeniably one of the most popular winners to come out of the singing competition. Although born into a musical family, Paxton’s first love was dancing. “I started dancing in crèche. I loved dancing. I loved expressing myself in front of people. I never knew I could sing at the time.” It was only when she started Sunday school that she noticed her God-given talent. She was given a solo at about 8-years-old. “That’s when we realised, ‘there’s something there. There’s a voice there.’” Paxton then went on to sing at church and school functions. “I think when I was younger, I was super fearless. I was like, ‘you know what? I’m going to do what I love.’” As she entered high school, Paxton explains that she became shy. Luckily, she joined her school’s acapella group – where she was the youngest member – and found a new outlet of self-expression. She credits her music teacher for supporting her. “He always pushed me creatively which is what I needed . . . especially since I was very shy and [kept] to myself.” Want to know a little bit more about the Cape Town singer? If your answer is yes, then continue reading as we catch up with Paxton. How has lockdown been treating you? Oh gosh. It’s been... Let me tell you, 2020 has been such a rollercoaster. It has been crazy. I will never say it was the worst year because I think it pushed me to kind of face some things that I didn’t want to, that I could just push to the side because I was always working. You know, you never have time to actually sit down and do some introspection. I think this was definitely the year of introspection for me; where I really grew as a person and there were certain things that I could focus on that I didn’t make time to focus on, you know? I think I grew a lot as an individual and I grew a lot as an artist. Ja, lockdown has been very interesting, to say the least, but I definitely came out of this pandemic - or let me say out of 2020 - a much stronger, strong-willed person. How does lockdown affect artists? Do you know what, I feel like lockdown really showed us the power of social media because if there [was] no social media, I don’t know [laughs]. I think social media really played a huge role in just our livelihood and just staying current and relevant. I think it took a knock on us work-wise, like we couldn’t work and that was really tough. It still is . . . thank God for social media because we could do online shows and venture into 06 | VROUMENS
different things online. [We could also] communicate with our supporters and find out how they’re doing and you know, show them that we support them and we’re there for them and we love them. I think everyone was going through a tough time, not only musicians. But ja, it was really refreshing to be able to use our social media platforms for the greater good, I guess. It was interesting though! For me personally, I feel like lockdown has kind of made me see a different side to myself as an artist . . . I grew so much because I feel like my writing has changed [and] the type of music I listen to has changed. You said that during your high school days, you were quite shy. Would you still describe yourself to be shy and introverted or are you an extrovert? I think I’m an introvert but I’m an extrovert once you get to know me. I’m very much introverted. I think it just depends on the person and the people I’m around – like my family and friends. They’ve seen all sides of me but I’m still very much to myself . . . that’s just how I am. I choose what I want to share with the world. While on Idols, you were subjected to cyber-bullying. You then went on an anti-bullying campaign with Carl Wastie and the WCED. What advice do you have for those who are going through the same thing? People think that bullying is just physical. Cyber-bullying has become a huge problem, driving young teenagers to suicide. That was very scary to see and knowing that that is something that I had to deal with as well, being in the public eye. I kept thinking to myself, ‘I’m strong enough to handle it but some people might not be strong enough. It’s important that I raise awareness about it, and I remind young people that what they say on social media can affect people in the long run. Hurt people, hurt people. Try your best to not let it affect you because only your opinion of yourself matters. If you know yourself and you love yourself, then that shouldn’t matter at all. I know it’s really tough to put things aside and just ignore it . . . We’re only human at the end of the day, but the only opinion that should matter about yourself, is yours. That’s my advice. How are you handling fame? Well, to be honest, I think my support structure plays a huge role in, you know, just being able to handle it because it’s a lot. I mean I was 17 at the time I won [Idols South Africa]. [It’s a lot] especially for a 17-year-old, not knowing [and] not having a background on what I’m supposed to do, what it’s supposed to feel like. It was very foreign for me. So just knowing that I had a support structure that could just keep me grounded and sane and just remind me where I come
from and who I am. That was very important for me, still is important to me because I feel like when things get too much, I can turn to them and they will keep it 100% real with me. So ja, I think the only way I was able to really handle it was because I had a great support structure.
I can. But hearing that touches my heart and makes me very happy!
During lockdown, you released your track Undeniable. What is your thought process when writing your songs and where do you get your inspiration from?
Well, I used to . . . I still want to go there but I don’t think it would be ideal now. I want to go to Italy - that’s like my dream location! I want to get married and have kids there [laughs]. I want to go to Venice, Rome [and] Sicily. I want to go to Milan, I want to go everywhere in Italy. It’s because I love Italian food and I just love the culture there. I feel like you learn a lot more if you’re surrounded by the people there. Ja, I definitely want to go to Italy and then Bora Bora, even though I can’t swim! [laughs] I’ve always wanted to go to an island. I’ll be there in my floaty lamming [laughs].
Well, life really. I don’t necessarily write from my own perspective, it depends really. It’s very organic. It all happens so organically. For example, with Undeniable, when I went into studio, that was the first song where I was like, “I’m gonna write about how I was feeling at a moment in time in this year [2020].” That was the first time I actually wrote about something I was going through. So, I went with a concept. I already knew what I wanted to write about.
Photography: Keenan Lucian Heyns
But with Good Company and a lot of the other songs, I went into studio with an open mind and we listened to some beats and stuff and I was . . . just trying to feel it out and see where the music is taking me. I have an amazing co-writer, Caleb Williams, he guides me and kind of helps me in terms of concepts and stuff, but it’s never complicated. It’s not something I have to think long and hard about. I guess if I feel inspired or motivated by something then ja, I write about it. Season 2 winner of Maak My Famous, Nicoleen Saal told VK News that you were one of her musical inspirations and hopes to one day collaborate with you. How do you feel hearing that? [Aw, I’m gonna cry, that’s so sweet!] Honestly, I’m shook [laughs]. I can’t believe that she said that. That’s so sweet! Ag man, that really touches me and that just shows that . . . I am influencing young artists. I’m always open to collaborations . . . all I wanna do is just support other up-and-coming artists and kind of help if I can. Not a lot of young artists know what is in store for them. I didn’t know! So, now knowing what the industry is like . . . I just kind of want to guide and help where
You’ve been to Russia, Sweden and America for work. Where in the world would you want to go to just kick your feet up?
What’s your favourite song that you’ve recorded? That’s a tough one. I love all my songs. Every song was like a totally different experience. People always ask me “what’s your favourite song?” and it literally changes all the time, but I would say my favourite song is Good Company. If I had to listen to a song the whole day, I would listen to Good Company. It’s probably going to change [laughs]. Lastly, what can we expect from you this year? Whoa! [laughs] I don’t even know what to expect from 2021. Firstly, I just want to get out of 2021 unharmed and healthy . . . and then I think I just want to release lots and lots of music and just get more creative. I am manifesting big campaigns - life-changing campaigns - because I love bringing a smile to people’s faces, and just making the world a better place for people to live in because [sighs]. . . it’s crazy out there. Ja, for now, that’s all that I can think of really. So, doing what I’m doing right now but on a bigger scale. Follow Paxton on Instagram: @paxtonfielies_ to witness her journey.
Rushtush: Mogul Mama on family fitness
RUSHTUSH
R
ushda Moosajee, or as she’s more commonly known Rushtush, is a qualified personal trainer and online coach. Rushda has become synonymous with having a great butt, women empowerment and (the much sought-after recipe) Hulk Juice. She has online e-books to suit various women and their needs, a pharmaceutical range, an athleisure range, masks and a recently launched fitness app. If you pay attention to her stories on social media you’re probably aware of her obsession with skincare. The Rushtush lifestyle brand now caters to skincare concerns with a range of skincare tools on offer. All this while casually announcing the birth of her third son. This fit taanie is here to leave her Chanel heel prints on a previously male-dominated industry. What her brand has been able to do in a once niche space is to expand the idea of fitness and make it accessible – and practical – for the everyday woman. Her fiery persona and drive are motivation enough for the women who’ve followed her growth as a mom and entrepreneur. Another contributing factor to her success is that she knows what women struggle with and how to guide them. Making time for workouts can be a daunting task to schedule in after a long day, or a busy schedule. Even when we know that fitness has great mental and physical health benefits – maybe the solution is to make it a part of your family’s lifestyle. Children live what they learn – and learning to be active should be on this list. But how does a busy mom and wife make time for her general wellbeing and fitness? We’ve often seen Rushda bring her boys along to the gym, but here are her 3 easy activities to do that includes your little ones in your workout:
1.
Catch Me If You Can, Mum!
For this ‘game’, I head down to an open field and run after my boys while I carry the other one. This is great cardio due to the running, but also it’s strength training at the same time because of the weight of my other son. It’s like wearing a weighted vest, only this one is for free.
Photography: Supplied Images
If your children are already teenagers then going for a run around your area or on the promenade together could be great to get the endorphins flowing! Perhaps play tag. Or do partner carries.
2.
Lift me baby
The next thing I love to do is weight training with my boys. All you need to do is keep your child as a weight as you do the movements. If you have more than one toddler, it is also great as they vary in weight. Lifting can also translate into walking, hiking and running while pushing your kids in a jogger pram was one of my favourite new mom things to do. When hiking, you could just strap your baby in a carrier and go!
These can include: Squats and lunges Squat and press Planks and push ups with your child on your back
3.
Family refresh
Kids can get restless when they are all cooped up at home. I have always loved hikes, stairs and beach training and have always recommended it when I trained Glow Girls at my Women’s Gym. I still love to do my training on the slopes of a mountain, because you come back refreshed and the terrain helps to build the glutes. Make it a family thing by taking the kids with you on jogs, hikes or walks on the promenade. *Excerpt from ‘Be A Fit Fam’ on Rushtush.com 09 | VROUMENS
The Queen of Smoke T
o continue our celebration of women breaking boundaries: meet Stacey-Lee May. The Queen of Smoke takes some time out to chat to us about the world of professional spinning, how many times it took to get her driver’s licence and what it’s like hanging out of the window of a spinning car. 1. Who is Stacey-lee May?
2. When did you realise that you had a passion for cars? My father has always been into cars and he had passed it on to myself and my brother. It’s easy to say that I have been interested in cars my whole life and when I started driving my dad thought it would be a good idea to get me into motorsport. 3. Did you get your license on the first attempt? No, I had to go about three times before I got my license. 4. How does one train to become a spinner? And who trained you? My dad trained me to be a spinner, drifter and stunt driver. If you want to become a spinner you can book at our spin school at xsDrift.
7. How long were you drifting before you started doing it professionally? I was drifting for two years before I started doing it professionally. 8. You’ve chosen a not-so typical career path and you’re breaking boundaries and stereotypes (locally and internationally) — but how did your parents react when you told them you wanted to be a spinner? It was my dad’s idea for me to start drifting and spinning. My mom was against it at first, but after a few years she became my manager and now she absolutely loves it. 9. Tell us a little more about the international competitions you’ve taken part in?
I drive an E30 BMW 325I.
I’ve taken part in two international events; the first was Hyperdrive which you can catch on Netflix and the second was a show in Pakistan where I was the first female stunt driver in the country.
6. What is it like being part of a usually male-dominated space?
10. What does a typical day look like? Is this something you practice daily?
When I [first] started participating in the male-dominated industry it was extremely intimidating because I’m ten times smaller than every male that was there. But after a few competitions, I realised that I’m just as good as the guys. It doesn’t matter if I’m a female because whatever the guys did, I trained myself to do it too.
A typical day for me now that Covid has hit: I wake up in the morning, reply to emails or whatever meeting I have scheduled for the morning. Around 14:00 I get my little brother from school and start supper at 16:00. I go to gym at 18:00. Right now my days are extremely boring because I try and stay indoors.
5. What kind of car do you drive?
Photography: @team_stacey
Stacey-lee May is a shy and tiny 24-year-old that was born in Johannesburg. I believe that I am a hard-working person that sets goals and does not stop until all my goals are achieved. I strive to be the best I can be in anything and everything that I do.
STACEY-LEE MAY
11. If you could describe the experience of being in the car and drifting in 5 words. What would it be? 1. Different 2. Exciting 3. Scary 4. Fun 5. Stress relief 12. How are you not afraid when hanging out of the window of a spinning car? How long did it take you to perfect that kind of stunt? I don’t get nervous because I always pray and ask God to keep me safe and protect me. It took me about an hour to perfect my stunt. 13. How did your participation in the Hyperdrive show on Netflix come about? What was it like being on a TV show and working with Charlize Theron? I got a call from the guys at Netflix asking me if I would like to participate in a TV show and I said yes! There were a lot of email exchanges leading up to the 3 weeks before we had to leave. They sent out a camera crew to film my life at home and that’s when Charlize Theron showed up at my house – it was the most amazing experience. 14. You’ve been in a music video, a TV show and had an exhibition about your life at the V&A museum in London: What’s next for the Queen of Smoke? Well I don’t know what’s next for me, but I will continue to work hard to become the best female stunt driver in SA. For thrilling motorsport content and more about Stacey’s professional stunt career: Instagram: @team_stacey
11 | VROUMENS
Create a home office that makes you feel kwai
DIY HOME OFFICE
I
n the time of #wfh, Charlene Petersen gives her tips on how to create a space that allows for productivity.
At the start of the pandemic, setting up a home office was probably given the least thought. However, since we have been adapting to remote working, it has become somewhat necessary to start exploring a better solution for our work-from-home environment. It’s not always easy to set up a home office in a small space, especially with homeschooling and having to share the living area with your family, but this can still be achieved with some creativity, proper planning and a little DIY. Any space is a workable solution and here are some tips Charlene has put together for setting up your personal home office.
1.
FIND A WORK SPACE
Try and find a quiet place around your home where you are able to work without distractions. It needs to be a space where you will be able to focus and be productive throughout the day. Decide whether you want to overlook a window, a wall, be in a separate room or simply repurpose the garage. If you are sharing a work space, try a room divider/screen to separate the work area as it can become quite noisy between online meetings/calls.
2.
CHOOSE YOUR FURNITURE
Finding furniture should not just be pleasing to the eye; it must also be comfortable, budget friendly as well as durable. Also, consider the space you have selected as it should not overcrowd your work area. If your computer -as well as other items- can fit comfortably it should be okay, as long as nothing is falling off the edges. Your chair should provide comfort for sitting long enough, enabling you to be productive. Home office furniture must inspire you and draw satisfaction towards what you see and feel.
3.
DE-CLUTTER YOUR ENVIRONMENT
Adapt a clean desk policy in keeping your work area neat and simple. Declutter your workspace and try to limit the items on your desk – keep only the necessities. You may add personal items to your office that inspire you but keep it minimal to avoid crowding the space. When there’s clutter, or it feels like there’s too much going on it can be overwhelming.
4.
BECOME ORGANISED
Okay, I know organising your home office can be a daunting task but remembering where you put things will likely increase your productivity. This will limit the distraction of constantly having to look for your charger when your battery runs low. Organise your stationery, files, paperwork in shelves or drawers with the aim of creating a paperless system. Where possible store your files and documents on your computer or on a shared drive.
5.
CHOOSE YOUR DESIGN STYLE (The Fun Part)
This part is my personal favourite. Whether your style is minimalist, contemporary, traditional, glam chic or just adding a pop of colour, your personal style matters for your creativity and productivity. There are so many ways you can personalise your home office. You can add anything from motivational quotes, family photos, flowers and plants to fun stationery and a quirky mug. Remember to add something that makes you smile; in case you’re having a tough day. 13 | VROUMENS
DIY HOME OFFICE
It should be a place where you feel your best, where you are relaxed, calm, and inspired. Here’s to creating Happy Home Offices! Take care ~ Charlz ~ 14 | VROUMENS
Bio: Charlene Petersen is a social media content creator, sharing her love for décor, interior, lifestyle and DIY inspiration on her platforms. She is also the owner of Charlz Concepts, specialising in décor & interior design. She started her Instagram account in 2017 as a creative outlet, but it soon sparked interest with her audience as well as Brands, who were inspired by her content and DIY Makeovers. Instagram: @charlzblog
Photography: Charlene Petersen
Your home office is yours. It does not need to look like anyone else’s. Your aim should be to create a “feel good” environment, as it will set the tone for your mood throughout the day, and week.
DITE IS LIFE
Dite is life A collection of yummy recipes from Chef Ayesha Suliman and Rushtush 15 | VROUMENS
Mom,
What’ s for Supper? Hearty meal ideas for supper with Chef Ayesha Suliman Short Bio: I’m a private chef, cake baker and dessert maker. I graduated from the Capsicum Culinary Studio in Culinary Arts & Patisserie. I’ve worked in food media as a food assistant for various big brands on advertisements. Previously worked as a food/kitchen consultant, redesigning menus and I supply one of Cape Town’s most beloved delis with delicious cake. Instagram: @chef_ayesha_ Food has always been centred in my life, coming from a big Muslim family and looking back I think I always knew that somehow this was going to be my life. I honestly love what I do and for me, the best part is being in different locations all the time and seeing some of the most amazing spots in Cape Town. No two days are the same. I love food and I’d eat almost anything but some fun facts, I absolutely cannot stand sprinkles. And as much as I love chocolate – and I do love chocolate – I won’t choose chocolate ice cream.
CHEF AYESHA SULIMAN
P raw n s w i t h Ta n d o o r i
Chicken
Tandoori Marinade Ingredients: 3 tbsp ghee/veg oil 1 tsp Ground Coriander 1 tsp Ground Cumin 1 tsp Turmeric 1 tsp Cayenne Pepper 1 tbsp Garam Masala 1 tbsp Paprika 1 cup Plain Yoghurt Juice of 1/2 lemon 4 tbsp Garlic 2 tbsp Ginger Salt Method: Mix all together and marinate a whole chicken, preferably overnight. Preheat oven to 200°C and roast chicken for 45 mins. Serve with sides of Carrot Salad, Flatbread & Aloo Fry.
Spicy Rice
Ingredients: Rice Garlic Red/ Yellow Peppers Red Onion Parsley Prawns Robertson Spice for Rice and Oriental Nori Olive oil Rice: Boil rice with turmeric. Strain. Set aside. In a pan, heat pan lotion, garlic, chopped red & yellow pepper, red onion. Season. Cook until softened. Add chopped parsley. Add rice to veg & mix. Add Robertsons Spice for Rice. Prawns: Marinate with olive oil, Robertsons Oriental Nori, garlic, seafood spice. Grill until shell is bright pink & meat is opaque (time depends on your oven). Add your grilled prawns to the bed of flavourful rice. 17 | VROUMENS
CHEF AYESHA SULIMAN
V i etn a m e s e B e e f with Rice Noodles Ingredients: Minute steak 10 Garlic Cloves, minced 3 tbsp Brown Sugar 3 tbsp Soy Sauce 2 tbsp Oyster Sauce 1 tbsp Fish Sauce S&P Method: Combine all ingredients together & marinate steak. Heat chilli oil, fry steak until desired. Noodles: Cook as per package instructions. Slaw: Carrot Cucumber Spring Onion Mint
Method: Crush garlic & sugar together until sugar dissolves. Add the rest of the ingredients & mix. Julienne all the veggies & mint. Mix together & dress with sauce. Assemble: Noodles topped with beef, slaw, chillies & fresh mint. Pour more dressing over meal & enjoy.
18 | VROUMENS
Photography: Supplied Images
Dressing: 2 Garlic Cloves 1 tsp Sugar 200ml Water 2 tsp Fish Sauce 2 tbsp Lime Juice 2 Red Chillies
RUSHDA MOOSAJEE
BREA KFAS T i d e as : Slim Thicc toast
French toast doesn’t have to be unhealthy – Rushtush tweaks this traditional recipe to create a meal that contains fibre, protein, antioxidants and will keep your tummy full for hours.
D i d yo u kn ow: Eating healthy can be lekke Bio: Rushda Moosajee is a fitness mogul, pharma and beauty boss mom. Rushda Moosajee (Rushtush) shares a few of her yummy recipes to show us that eating better doesn’t have to mean starving ourselves. It’s about making it a lifestyle – not a forever diet. There are more yummy recipes available in her various ebooks available on rushtush.com. Instagram: @rushtush and @rushtushlifestyle
Method: Combine 2 egg whites and 1 whole egg with some milk, vanilla extract, and salt. Dip whole wheat bread into the mixture and cook in a pan on each side until golden brown. Top with berries and a drizzle of honey.
19 | VROUMENS
Ve ga n Glo w Pancakes
Serves 1, Makes 3 Pancakes
Ingredients: 2 Whole Large Eggs 1/2 tsp Baking Powder 30g of Protein Powder (Pea Protein base) 1/2 Banana Mashed 1 tbsp Rolled Oats 4 tbsp Unsweetened Almond Milk 1/2 tsp Ground Cinnamon A handful of fresh berries (raspberries and blueberries)
Method: 1. In a mixing bowl, whisk 2 whole large eggs. 2. In another bowl combine and stir all the ingredients plus cinnamon powder with the whisked eggs and baking powder. 3. Add olive oil in a large non-stick frying pan over medium heat. Ladle in one-third of the mixture and cook each side for 2-3 minutes, or until lightly golden. Repeat with the rest of the mixture. 4. Serve with a handful of fresh berries such as raspberries and blueberries.
RUSHDA MOOSAJEE
Supper idea A filling and nutritious pizza taken from the Rushtush Bump Glow guide, but great for everyone to enjoy!
Ingredients: 1 cup Whole-Wheat Flour 1 tsp Baking Powder 1 cup Double Cream Yoghurt Butter (melted) For The Base: Mix all ingredients except butter to form a soft dough and form small balls and roll out, brush with butter and fry on a non-stick frying pan. For The Tomato Sauce: Heat olive oil in a pan, add 2 cloves of chopped garlic, one chili, and one chopped onion until translucent. Add one tin of chopped tomatoes and simmer. Add 1 teaspoon of xylitol / brown sugar, 1 teaspoon of black pepper. Cook until it forms a nice thick sauce. You may liquidize the sauce using a stick blender. Set oven to 180°C. Use Spray & Cook for your oven tray. Spread tomato sauce on the rolled out base. Add protein toppings, and veggies, add cheese on top. Add fresh herbs and crushed salt. Topping Options: Shredded chicken fillet, mushroom, cheese and avocado. Rinsed tin tuna, piquante peppadews, red onion and cheese. Steak, green peppers, olives, cheese and feta. Viennas, mushroom and cheese. 21 | VROUMENS
RUSHDA MOOSAJEE
This is a great treat (maybe even before bed) when you’re craving a chocolate fix. It is also budget friendly.
Bonus: The baddest juice on the block to boost your immune system – and kickstart that metabolism. Rushtush calls this a boss energy veggie juice, with a plethora of benefits: Fight immunity, protect and lift your skin, heal your gut, enjoy shiny hair, melt fat, and improve your eyesight. ‘Bad Bitch Juice’ is a life tonic.
Ingredients: 1 cup Almond Milk 1 Tbsp Raw Cacao Powder 1 Tbsp Pure Maple Syrup/Honey 1/4 tsp Vanilla Essence Pinch of Sea Salt
Ingredients: 1 Grapefruit 1 Lemon Thick piece of ginger 3-4 Carrots Half a cup of coconut water Peel your citrus fruit and ginger, pop it into your juicer.
Method: Combine all the ingredients into a saucepan over high heat, using a whisk to break up any clumps. 22 | VROUMENS
Add the coconut water for extra electrolyte VIBRANCE and enjoy!
Photography: Rushtush
Ski n n y hot Choc ol ate
NET LIGGIES
Ne t li g gie s
NP Rooibos Mocktails with Bobi Primmer Life’s hard, but your mocktails don’t have to be! With over a decade of local & international experience in different bars, festivals, hotels & night clubs across the world, Shakin’ it Up with B is here to mix up your last bit of summer! And because President Ramaphosa has humbled us, taught us to be resilient, and that having a drink on Friday night – and over the weekend – is a luxury. We thought we would focus on mocktails, because it is the feel-good edition and also just in case . . .
complicating things and uses everyday ingredients in the kitchen to spice up her drinks & elevate them to the next level. Instagram: @shakinitupwithb YouTube: Bobi Primmer/ Shakin’ it Up with B!
Bio Robin Primmer:
Be it Mint, basil, lavender or a bietjie of that left over stoney. Let your creative juices flow with these easy to folllow recipes (the fun is in finding the substitution that works for YOU).
Originating from the picturesque Stellenbosch, local Robin Primmer believes in not
Don’t forget to tag @vroumens and @shakinitupwithb with your creations. 23 | VROUMENS
C i n n am o n Sensation Ingredients 14ml OR 1/2 a tbsp of NP Rooibos Powdered Iced tea 2 Lime/ Lemon Quarters Cinnamon stick & cinnamon 12,5ml Sugar Syrup 50ml Apple Juice 50ml Orange Juice
Lovers Lane
Method Place 2 lime/ lemon quarters in shaker Pinch of cinnamon Pour 12,5ml of sugar syrup and 1/2 tsp of rooibos powder over the ingredients Use a muddle stick to press the lime/ lemon, cinnamon and syrup together Fill the shaker with cubed ice Pour apple & orange juice over the mixture Close the cocktail shaker and shake vigorously for 20 seconds Pour the cocktail into the glass over cubed ice Garnish with a burnt cinnamon stick, orange wedges & straws.
Ingredients 100ml NP Rooibos Honey Brew 50ml Fresh Grapefruit juice 1 /2 tsp Rose water 12,5ml Strawberry Sugar Syrup 8 mint leaves Method Place 8 mint leaves into a shaker Pour strawberry sugar syrup & rose water into shaker Press the mint leaves and syrups together using a muddle stick Fill the shaker with cubed ice Pour a shot and NP rooibos honey and a shot of fresh grapefruit juice over the mixture Close the cocktail shaker and shake vigorously for 20 seconds Fill a short glass with crushed ice Pour the cocktail over the crushed ice Garnish with a dehydrated orange wheel , a mint sprig, 2 rhubarb sticks & 2 straws
Bobi used NP Rooibos products in her recipes that can be purchased at the Northern Cape Plateau store in Salt River. They’re a 100% pure rooibos tea merchants and distributors. Visit their store or follow them on Instagram: @nprooibos
NET LIGGIES
Ingredients 50ml NP Rooibos Lemon Brew 100ml Litchi juice 50ml Dry lemon 12.5ml rooibos sugar syrup 2 sprigs rosemary
In Depth
Method Place a sprig of rosemary in shaker Pour 12,5ml of rooibos sugar syrup over the ingredients Use a muddle stick to press the rosemary and syrup together Muddle until fragrant Fill the shaker with cubed ice Pour 50ml of NP Rooibos lemon brew & litchi juice over the mixture Close the cocktail shaker and shake vigorously for 20 seconds Pour the cocktail into the glass over cubed ice Top off with Dry lemon Garnish with a sprig of rosemary
To e ma ar
Tiemie
Photography: Supplied Images
Ingredients 100ml NP Rooibos Vanilla brew 20ml turmeric & passion fruit sugar syrup 20ml egg white 12,5 ml lemon juice 1 full naartjie Method Place NP Raw tea on a small wooden bar Use a blowtorch to burn the NP Rooibos Raw Tea Then immediately place a coup glass over the smoking raw tea to smoke the glass up Place one full naartjie into a shaker Pour 20ml of tumeric & passion fruit sugar syrup over the naartjie Use a muddle stick to press the naartjie and syrup together Fill the shaker with cubed ice Pour Np Rooibos Vanilla Brew, half a shot of lemon juice and 20ml of egg white over the mixture Close the cocktail shaker and shake vigorously for 20 seconds Add ice to shaker & shake vigorously for 20 seconds. Remove the coup glass from the woodchips and prepare it for serving Fine strain the cocktail into the glass Garnish with a sprig of lemon thyme 25 | VROUMENS
TOP 10 GREATEST THINGS ABOUT 2020
The daily amount of road users has decreased – those people going on long drives just to go out a bietjie, don’t count. Also less idling, less petrol just in time for the second petrol increase.
5. Slowing down: We’ve all been forced to embrace the
idea of being okay with slowing down, because being busy isn’t that cool. There’s no longer the need to rush off to somewhere. During this time, you’ve had to sit with that impending sense of urgency, you know that feeling when you’re resting too lekke on the couch and suddenly feel like you forgot something. We all had to learn to sit with it and let it go. Relax. Is klaa warrit soe is.
6. Mommy does Mommy want another cup of tea? We’ve had the opportunity to get closer and spend actual (quality) time with our families. Well, at least the ones we live with. We live in a fast-paced world and what often happens is that we end up living past our loved ones.
1.
Sweatpants and tracksuits finally got the recognition it deserves. It was suddenly acceptable, and fashion forward, to do EVE.RY.THING in them. Whether you’re doing a quick run to the store or attending your fourth Zoom meeting for the day. These oh-so-comfy staples are cool again. Although you call it loungewear now mos.
2. No more full face of makeup: Working from home means we all saved money on keeping our makeup bags stocked. And even if you were working or had to go out, wearing a mask means only doing a quick brow brush – and eyeshadow if you want to be fancy. Ps. Sunscreen is still important even in your house.
3.
Dear whom it may concern: We all realised that most work meetings really could just have been emails all along.
4. No more spending hours in traffic: For those who worked from home and for the most important workers.
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bananas: Most of us tried to fill our time by taking up hobbies and trying things we otherwise wouldn’t have had time for. So, most of us baked banana bread and posted it on social media with cute captions. The others, who decided to try their hand at pineapple beer in the time of the alcohol ban, did so privately.
8. Prioritising is a side-effect of lockdown: We quickly
learnt who and what is important. We’ve become aware of the fragility of life. And in turn this has afforded us the opportunity to reflect and take stock of what really matters: checking in on our people more regularly, your child’s grade 3 Maths teacher is actually a superhero, building puzzles can be fun, having a glass of something after a long day is a luxury and taking time on a Sunday to listen to the Sunday Buffet on VK radio is a form of self-care.
9. Sparking joy, cleaning up and donating: We’ve all
probably repacked our cupboards or tried to declutter a room in the house. Maybe more than once. And so we discovered that we have way more things than we actually need. Give away those koppies and pierings you bought as newlyweds. Those bakkies that don’t have lids – throw. it. away.
10. Santa Claus still delivers gifts, even in a pandemic: The Christmas table. The festive mood was undeterred by lockdown. We could still have gammon and tongue – and the leftovers lasted longer than previous years.
Photography: Unsplash
Top 10 greatest things to come out of 2020 – it wasn’t all bad, stry tog?
7. There wasn’t a sudden shortage of pineapples and
BABY CUBES
O rgan i c
versus processed foods: What are you feeding your baby?
27 | VROUMENS
W
ith the closure of the Lord Charles Hotel, Chef and first-time dad Oscar Baard had lost his job. But with adversity came innovation and Baard decided to open his own business, Baby Cubes: locally sourced organic baby food delivered right to your door. We had a chat with him about his business and baby nutrition. Oscar Baard grew up in Kraaifontein and has been in the hospitality industry for 15 years. As a young boy, it’s not quite the career he had pictured for himself even though he enjoyed spending time in the kitchen with his mother. He’s had the privilege of working and sharpening his skills at hotels in Cape Town and abroad. He was a part of the South African Culinary Team that competed at the IKA Culinary Olympics in Germany in February 2020. How did the idea to start Baby Cubes come about? My beautiful wife, Carmen, gave birth to our daughter, Eva (our gift of life). We decided that we’ll be making her food ourselves, this way we would know exactly what goes into her little body. My focus shifted to doing research on baby foods and how they impact your little one’s immune system and brain development. From what foods they are allowed to have when they start weaning to incorporating different flavours to their purees, turning our babies into little foodies. Eva was our inspiration and motivation to start Baby Cubes and that is a gift from God. Baby Cubes is our gift to parents. Baby Cubes is convenience at its best. With the pandemic having a heavy toll on the whole world and the hotel/restaurant industry in particular. Hotels and restaurants are closing and some even struggling to keep their doors open in order to pay salaries to their staff. A lot of us have been retrenched due to the pandemic and lockdown. And I can’t look pass the fact that it’s taking a heavy strain on our mental health as well. Eva’s presence and the idea for Baby Cubes came at the perfect time. I needed this little push. What does a typical day look like for you? I wake up at 4:30am. I run, meditate and read before 6am.
Get Eva ready for school. Carmen and Eva would then leave home around 6:30am. I go through my prep list for the day (prep lists and shopping list I would write the day before, and doing this saves me about 15 minutes already, depending on the number of orders I receive.) I go to the supplier and get the produce I need for the day’s work. I would have to prepare all the food and do deliveries of previous orders placed with us. Get back and do some admin work, which will normally be invoicing, working on some new ideas, costings and our social media pages. I try to finish all my work at 5pm, but there are days when I have to burn the midnight oil to get work done. My wife and brothers help me with sales, marketing and photography of the business. Obviously, you’ve put in a lot of researching before embarking on this journey. Tell us about the Baby Cubes menu. You learn a lot from just watching babies and seeing how they develop. I feel like they possess a type of god-like spirit and it’s our duty to groom them to one day become future leaders of our world. We need to know and understand how valuable nutrition is to our bodies. And we need to also be very conscious about what we put into our babies’ little bodies. The fresher the better. With the Baby Cubes Menus, the idea is to bring the restaurant experience to babies. So instead of having a product pricelist, I have a menu. The menus consist of starters, mains and desserts to choose from. My wife and I give Eva a starter, main course and dessert at mealtimes, this is just our way of incorporating enough vegetables and fruits into her meals. And for breakfasts, we’ll mix fruit cubes with her oatmeal porridge. Our Baby Cubes menu is specially designed per age group to cater to your baby’s needs in that particular phase. How do you decide which fruits/ vegetables to include in your menu? And how do you decide on the combinations (like with your popsicles)? Is Eva always the first taster? It’s very easy! Babies love anything sweet. Carrots, butternut, sweet potato, corn, and peas are only a few vegetables that are sweet in taste. And when I combine them I can offer different kinds of vitamins and minerals in one cube. Many times, I would use my pastry knowledge to come up with ideas. The Carrot & Cinnamon Puree idea I got from carrot cake. The Butternut, Carrot, Orange Sweet Potato, Cinnamon & Nutmeg Puree idea came from pampoen koekies. The Apple, Pear, Raisin & Cinnamon Pudding idea I got from apple crumble. The Popsicles Menu was my little playground, a way to get fruit and vegetables into your body as a snack during the hot
BABY CUBES
Summer days. The popsicles were actually created for everyone to enjoy, not just for babies, toddlers and kids. Yes, Eva is the first to taste everything I make. She is the best and worst food critic to have in my corner. If something is good, she will let me know that it’s good and that she can’t get enough. But, when something is bad, oh she’s honest enough to let me know that the combination should never see the light of day. And there’s been a few combo ideas that I couldn’t add to the menus. Nutrition for your baby: Organic vs processed food Organic is the way to go. It is however a little more expensive, but the health benefits are worth the money spent. From the research I’ve done I found that GMO (Genetically Modified Organisms) foods can have some harmful effects on our health in the long run: loss of nutrition, immuno suppression and even organ damage. Maybe this is why I see our public hospitals and clinics are so full of our people, our immune systems have been on a slow decline since a young age by not knowing what we are actually putting into our bodies. So, we as parents can help build strong immune systems in our babies’ bodies by starting them off with the healthier option that will benefit them in the long run. What should parents be looking out for when their children are ready to start solids? Babies will try and mimic your mouth movements when you are opening your mouth to put food in and chewing. They try to take food off your plate. This is what Eva did at around 3-and-ahalf months old. But we played it safe and waited for her to turn 4 months old. Even if the mother is still breastfeeding, the milk they’re getting won’t be enough to fill them, so keep an eye on their feeding patterns. How do people go about ordering from you? We have Facebook and Instagram pages. Facebook: @babycubesfoods
Photography: Oscar Baard/ Supplied
Instagram: @baby.cubes Our menus are on these social media pages. So just send us your order via DM and we can get the ball rolling from there.
Hamper Giveaway! One lucky mom could win 1 starter, 2 mains, 1 dessert, popsicles, a cooler bag, spoon and fork. All you have to do is tag @vroumens and @babycubes in a photo of your baby enjoying any snack or meal!
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info@jacobs-foods.co.za | 071 351 0919 | www.jacobs-foods.co.za
KROON IS KONING
5 side hustle tips - Claudia Mulder
ihanna said we must work, work, work, work, work. So here are 5 side-hustle ideas to bring in some extra money. During the pandemic, we’ve seen a decline in economic growth and, sadly, a sharp increase in unemployment. The lesson: we can’t put all of our eggs in one basket. To ensure financial stability – especially in uncertain times like these – it is important to supplement your existing income. Finding a side hustle that will enable you to do so. Side hustles provide double-folded fulfilment because they are normally things people are passionate about. Let’s have a look at some side hustles people can start without needing too much start-up capital.
1. Start a Digital Media Agency Use your graphic design, copywriting, and marketing skills to generate additional income for yourself. Digital agencies exist to meet modern marketing needs that arose in the digital age. All businesses – small businesses and big corporations – have come to value social media currency. The digital space holds a lot of opportunities and there are many free social media courses to get you going. Ps. There is no shame in being over 30 and understanding TikTok or how to trick Instagram’s algorithm.
2. Teach English Online
Teach English as a second language to foreign students online with VIPKid or similar websites. 32 | VROUMENS
3. Become a Virtual Assistant For a lot of small businesses, the need for non-permanent staff has necessitated the reliance on virtual assistants. If you are organized, good with communication and time management then this might just be something you would want to try.
4. Offer home-cooked meal services If you are a really great cook, you can monetise your passion and talent. You could start small and start within your community and offer no contact delivery. You would need to budget your expenses so that the rate your charge covers you expenses and leaves you with some extra change. Offering weekly menus – even if it’s only a few days a week – will allow you time to prepare your menus and work around your existing schedule.
5. Subscription-based online club We have all saved a lot of money on entertainment costs with the closures and limited offerings of certain establishments. This coupled with the need to be social and have interactions – starting a wine club, book club or sewing club could be a great way to bring together an unlikely group of people. Learning, laughing, and making new friends (safely) and making money of course. There are many other ways to hustle legally. Whatever you choose to do, make sure you choose something that you are passionate about. Do the research and reach out to people in the industry as a way of learning and networking.
Photography: Pixabay
R
SHIFTING YOUR ATTITUDE
Six Tips To Cultivate and Maintain a Good Life - Lucia Dramat Water Your Grass Usually when people have green grass it is because they water it. Anything in life that is strong, blossoming and growing does so because it is being fed and looked after. We look after our bodies, possessions, and our children, yet often forget to look after our minds and emotions. Which is kind of strange because everything we do is controlled by our mind and emotions. The first step in taking care of your mind and emotions is by filling yourself with good, positive and motivating content.
Read or listen to books and podcasts, watch inspiring videos, intentionally put good information into your mind. In other words: water your garden.
Just Do It In the words of Nike “Just Do It!”. We can listen to all the good things and we can start to feel better, see ourselves in a better light and even have better confidence. However, if we only listen, we will only be touching the surface of the benefits we could access if we start doing it. 33 | VROUMENS
SHIFTING YOUR ATTITUDE
Apply the principles, tools and tricks you learn about to your life and decide what works for you and what doesn’t. By applying the knowledge and putting it into action, you start turning it into wisdom because you go beyond having knowledge, by having tried and tested it yourself.
Forget About Manners Be grateful. I am not talking about good manners and saying, “Thank you”. I am talking about taking a moment to be thankful and grateful for your life and everything in it. Your time, health, possessions, job, family, friends, relationships. Whatever you have to be grateful for, take a moment to acknowledge it. But why you may ask? Well true gratitude changes your mood and perspective. It also draws people and opportunities to you. It is directly beneficial to your mind, emotions and even your life. I must say, don’t really forget about manners, I was just trying to make a point. Thank you.
If It Doesn’t Pay Rent, Kick It Out Identify limiting thoughts and beliefs. Things like ‘I will never be successful’, ‘I just don’t have it in me’. ‘We are not that type of people’. ‘It is just not for me’. ‘There’s never enough’.
things that make up who you are. Then look at what you are doing right now to create and work toward those things. Take a moment to evaluate where you are wasting time and where you can put more effort in. The funny thing is, if you only focus on getting the car, you may end up getting the car and have nothing else. But if you focus on the above you will live a better quality of life and probably acquire the car anyway because your level of success and productivity will improve too.
Bio: Lucia Dramat is a media personality and author of 21 Days in Full Bloom! Over the past 10 years, Lucia has poured herself into media and motivational speaking. She hosts numerous events for ladies, entrepreneurs and marriage counselling. Currently, Lucia cohosts the weekday breakfast show (06:00 – 09:00) on Radio Helderberg. Instagram: @luciadramat YouTube: Authentic and Thriving
These thoughts and beliefs are robbing you of confidence, pursuing ideas and making a success. Write them down and commit to combating them when they come up in your mind. For example: The Thought: “You are not good enough”
vs The Response: “Well actually, I will not accept this thought, it is counter-productive, I have prepared, and I am as ready as I can be, I will continue to learn and do my best and I am happy with that”.
Get A Fence
These boundaries allow us to grow, help others and flourish in our lives without the constant resentment and exhaustion. Identify your boundaries then put up your fence. Help people, be there for people but do not take responsibility for them. Get an expert to help you define your boundaries if you struggle with it.
Take a moment to map out what you really want out of life.
About the book: 21 Days In Full Bloom provides the guidance you need to create new habits. There are daily affirmations and motivations to help you with your personal vision. The daily challenges act as encouragements and confidence boosters.
I am not talking about the car and the house but the type of relationships, the health, the attitude, the energy and all the
You can purchase a copy of her book on her website: luciadramat.com.
What Do You Want?
34 | VROUMENS
Photography: Supplied Images
We all need boundaries to ensure we take care of what is our responsibility and separate what is the responsibility of others.
FARAH FORTUNE TALKS PERIOD POVERTY
Here’s what you should know about
menstruation
Farah Fortune talks about her NPO The Pad Run, the Period Pouch workshops and period poverty in South Africa. 35 | VROUMENS
S
he may be well-known as ‘The Pitbull in Heels’ in the PR industry, but this seems to be the same tenacious energy she employs in all spheres of her life. This edition of Vroumens focuses on wellness and we had to speak to Farah Fortune about her resoluteness about women’s health and combating period poverty. She also gives us the five things you should know about menstruation.
1. What is period poverty? Period Poverty is the worldwide issue affecting boys, girls, men, and women. It is a sanitation issue which limits the access of sanitary products, as well as safe and hygienic spaces in which to use them. It is the right to manage menstruation without shame.
2.
What is the motivation behind starting your NPO, The Pad Run? Every year, for years, I’ve been asking my close friends and family not to give me presents but rather sanitary products to donate. During my birthday of 2020 I decided to raise money on a bigger scale and purchase sanitary products to donate. I was able to raise R100 000 through my social media and was able to donate 10 000 packs of sanitary pads across the country. Realizing the huge need for a constant supply of sanitary pads, The Pad Run was born. There are now 5 board members for the NPO.
3. What can the public do to assist the sustainability of this initiative?
The public have been so amazing with this initiative and can continue their support through sanitary pad donations and monetary contributions.
4. How many girls do you hope to reach? Is there a yearly objective?
We hope to eventually donate at least 5 million packs a year, that’s our long-term goal, however we have short term timelines to get this into effect as soon as possible.
5. What is the Period Pouch Workshop? And what does it entail?
A period pouch workshop is where we educate boys and girls on what menstruation is, de-stigmatise myths about periods through a fun & educational workshop, involving each attendee to ensure effective results. We also issue each attendee, boy or girl, with a period pouch from The Pad Run as well. A period Pouch is a branded Pad Run bag with 2 packs of sanitary pad packs, safe painkillers and a sweet treat, as well as new underwear.
FARAH FORTUNE TALKS PERIOD POVERTY
6. Why do you think menstruation is such a taboo
11. What are the five things that people should know
I think it’s such a taboo subject due to so many myths and unknowns, as well as cultural stigmas. It’s a subject many still shy away from and therefore so many misconceptions are involved.
1. It is not something dirty, it is a natural bodily function.
subject?
7. The Department of Health has declared 28 May as
Menstrual Hygiene Day and consumers no longer pay VAT on menstrual products. But do you think government is doing enough to alleviate period poverty? If not, what do you think they could be doing?
about menstruation?
2. Calling people ‘menstruators’ is a general neutral & inclusive term as people transitioning could still be getting their period. 3. A reproductive system does not make you a woman, not having a period is not a shameful thing. 4. Getting your period can worsen asthma symptoms. 5. There are more than 5000 euphemisms for periods around the world.
Government is definitely not doing enough to supply sanitary pad packs or educate people on the subject. Up until very recently, sanitary pad packs as well as other sanitary products were deemed luxury items and a luxury tax was added onto them. 28th May is international Menstrual Hygiene Day and all over the World attention is brought to the subject on this day, however I wish more was done throughout the year. Government should provide free sanitary products to all primary, high school and University menstruators. This would lighten the financial burden immensely and open the conversations regarding this topic too. It would take approximately R30 million a month, more or less, to provide free sanitary to help eradicate period poverty in South Africa.
8. In a perfect world? What would be the most
economical and environmentally friendly menstruation solution? In an ideal world, if water was easily accessible to all, menstrual cups would be our best solution. They’re generally made from rubber or silicone and one cup can last between 5-10 years, meaning that environmentally – it’s perfect.
Photography: Supplied Images
9. What are your thoughts on the menstrual cup? I LOVE the menstrual cup. However, due to government not providing running water and proper sanitation facilities in the most rural of areas (and sometimes not even so rural), the cup cannot be washed or cleaned properly. Therefore, infection can be rife, causing unnecessary trauma.
10. Menstrual Products are quite costly. Should government make menstrual products free?
YES, YES & YES AGAIN. It is very possible for government to do this.
Bio: Farah is an award-winning entrepreneur and PR powerhouse. Farah is the Johannesburg lead for Google Africa’s Women Will program. She was handpicked to attend the TED Woman in Palm Springs in 2019. She also has an impressive list of speaker appointments and is considered a trailblazer by many in media. Farah Fortune is the CEO and founder of African Star Communications. Instagram: @fcfortune / @thepadrun 37 | VROUMENS
VROUMENS STYLE
The VK Vroumens Style
@meagan.jacobs
@hayleymalan
@tasabrahams
@kayconstance
@brittanysmithsoprano
@thembikanye
And so, it’s official. The VK Vroumens style feature is here to stay and we’ve randomly selected a few of our best-dressed women again to celebrate! Because sometimes the VK vroumens needs a cup of coffee before she can give you a smile. At the beginning of a new year, she eats celery for a fresh start. And come mid-year, she’s gatvol. Other times, she’s dressed in head-to-toe VK merchandise when she needs armour to fight off the geitjies. But she should be celebrated all the time. We love being tagged in your #ootd photos while wearing your VK merchandise – keep tagging us to be featured. 38 | VROUMENS
Photography: Supplied Images
Regardless of the season, the VK Vroumens is always lekke: hou van lekke lag, raak soms lekke kwaad, kan lekke skel, permy lekke moeg en smaak altyd lekke iet.
OPINION PIECE
Love A myth:
is not for everyone . . . - Aithne Molotsane
39 | VROUMENS
O
ne of my all-time favourite on-screen couples is Cristina Yang and Dr. Burke in Grey’s Anatomy. I loved how they just didn’t fit the mould of what we thought a perfect relationship should be. Both Burke and Cristina were ambitious and would stop at nothing to get what they wanted professionally. Cristina was a surgical intern and Burke an attending doctor. They both had to go through a process of learning to love and allowing themselves to be loved. Some of my love cues are taken from my ultimate Cristina and Burke moments. One specifically where he shares his wedding vows in an Operating Room before the wedding and the other is Yang’s answer to his proposal.
Burke’s Vows “Cristina, I could promise to hold you and to cherish you. I could promise to be there in sickness and in health. I could say, till death do us part. But I won’t. Those vows are for optimistic couples, the ones full of hope. And I do not stand here, on my wedding day, optimistic or full of hope. I am not optimistic, I am not hopeful, I am sure. I am steady.”
What I heard I had to pull myself away from the YouTube video so that I could finish this piece. Those vows for me were everything, it made me want to write my own vows for my husband one day. I loved how real he was planning to be. How although it was unconventional, he wanted to say his piece to his wife-to-be, his way.
get flowers or treats delivered as a measure of the success of a relationship. I saw twitter went as far as to compare the gifts of a celebrity husband vs. the gifts of a celebrity bestie. This was insane. There were literally pictures of both put up next to each other and people were discussing this as if it was an indication of the depth of either relationship.
I love the surety of the whole thing. I love how clear it is from these vows, intended for the love of his life, that he was certain that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
I feel, be you. Do you the best way you know and don’t allow yourself to get caught up in what’s expected.
“I could do what is expected of me BUT I won’t. I will do me.”
Christina’s answer to the wedding proposal
In today’s world, the pressures of couples doing what is expected of them by society are great. Couples feel the need to be a certain way because that’s what is expected of them. In using the pre-scripted vows as reference, Burke shows that he knows what’s expected but chooses instead, to say what he sees as applicable to their relationship. Relationships have almost become all-inclusive: it’s between me and you but also between everyone else watching to see what we’re doing on the socials. What birthday, Christmas and Valentine’s Day gifts we’re getting each other? How often you
“I don’t do rings. Don’t expect me to suddenly change: I’m a surgeon, just like you. We’ll have money . . . we’ll hire a wife.”
What I heard How adamant is she in this response to maintain her identity? Her personality? Her power? It has that “equal pay” tone about it. Like I can do what you do. I don’t want to have to give it up, so we will get someone to do what we can’t get to.
OPINION PIECE
It taught me the importance of being yourself in a relationship from the onset. Not to play small to stroke your partner’s ego. Instead, be who you are. I see a relationship as a partnership. In all things, we need to have each other’s best interests at heart. If we fail at that, we fail at making sure each partner’s needs are equally important. Relationships require sacrifice from both parties. You need to be pouring into one another’s cups. We should never get to a stage in a relationship where one cup is overflowing and the other is empty.
A love so amazing . . . Do you remember the spoken word piece, A Crucifixion Type Love by Brent Rice? I’m sure you do. I think at some stage I listened to it on repeat for hours on end (and no, I’m not exaggerating). The thought that a man could love a woman like that, that a man could one day possibly love me in the way that he expresses. WOW! Do yourself a favour and go and read it and then read it again, but this time to your partner. Imagine if the intention in every relationship we went into was to give all of ourselves. Not just me or him but both of us. Imagine if both parties used the crucifixion type love, as a starting point for their relationship? If we all gave equally as much of ourselves as the other?
Love is beautiful Doesn’t matter your age, doesn’t matter the nature of the relationships you experienced before. Doesn’t matter if you’ve been in an abusive relationship or have been made to feel unattractive. Doesn’t matter if you’ve ever felt worthless or been in a relationship with a chronic cheat or even if you’ve never been in love. Love is for you! Love is for everyone. Don’t worry about where you currently find yourself. Single, heartbroken, divorced, or in an unpleasant relationship.
Photography: Unsplash
Love is still for you. You are allowed to choose yourself. Choose how you want to be loved and be willing to love someone else just as much.
*These are the opinions of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the views of Vroumens.
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It’s Lekke To Koppel Feelings: The Giveaway
Love-cation, bae-cation, stay-cation, bly-byrie-hys-cation, a his-and-hers or them-and-theirs weekend. Whatever you want to call it – maakie saakie. The main thing is that we want to celebrate the month of love with YOU and your partner. Our people over at Dolphin Beach Hotel have decided to pitch in and help us spread the love. You stand of chance of winning three prizes: two romantic spoils and the ultimate 2-night stay at a luxury hotel. We will announce a weekly winning couple of the romantic spoils for two leading up to the BIG announcement.
Here’s what you have to do: Send us a short video or voice note of you and your partner telling us how you koppeled feelings and why you deserve to win. You have to start the video, or voice note, with the following tagline: “Our names are …. and ….. and we want to celebrate love at the Dolphin Beach Hotel in Blouberg.” And then tell us your love story and why you deserve two nights away from your family, or your kids, or just to have a break. Whatever the story, whatever the reason: we want to hear it!
THE GIVEAWAY
Step 1: Record your video or voice note (1 minute max).
Watching Fikani’s proposal on 7de Laan has been leading you up to this exact moment: be creative! Remember the tagline asseblief tog.
Step 2: Send your video or voice note to our WhatsApp line: 067 008 1248 Step 3: Include your name and email address Step 4: Give your partner a big soentjie for good luck and keep an eye out on our
social media platforms.
Weekly Prizes: Oyster and Champagne for two Big Prize: A two-night weekend at Dolphin Beach Hotel in a sea-facing apartment In-house breakfast at Blowfish Oysters & Bubbles for two at Blowfish Two massage vouchers at the Spa
Photography: Supplied Images
We will be playing your videos and voice notes across VK Media platforms. The grand winner will be announced on Monday, 22 March 2021. Instagram: @blowfishcapetown / @dolphinbeachhotel
43 | VROUMENS
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