t a h d i w d
n o
m t i s s
r i f y? a s
Part 1 intro 2 lens work 3 words 4 talk 5 vocab 6 art 7 thoughts 8 sunshine 9 gratitude 10 copyright
“i feel like humans are unwillingly poetic all the time” -Julien Baker on the next pages are hand written sentences by some of my dearest friends. i asked them to write down what it is they love to do. i wanted to share them because not only am i fascinated by each individuals hand writing, but i find the sentences precious in the way that most of them were written with no detailed purpose. it was “just a favour”. not much thought went into the pieces, yet i find them utterly unwillingly poetic and incomparable.
lens work
words
poetry by andy
I have no structure, This is true, Now tell me Princess, I am who? I am crazy strong sometimes, And unassuming others, I am the cold of winter, Sending you under your covers. Seldom i am asked, Where are you from? Different i reply, Not from a mom. Some call him Father, Right up there in the Sky, And i’m down here, With the bird and the fly. Alas, i am in yourself, And you are in me, Ubiquitous i am thought, But not in parts of the sea. Who to the Am to the I? Love, light, rice crackers and nut butter.
School is so uncool Adulthood is so good
Photo: tumblr
it’s interesting how in school, we are all so similar. We wear the same uniforms, mostly follow the same trends and eat the same lunch. It’s tough to be unique, and as if you’d want to be. That would be sooo risky. Key to getting through high school: fitting in. Fit in with a group so you have people to hang out with at lunchtime, fit in with social expectations to save yourself from embarrassment and fit in with time periods to avoid after school detention... The more time I’ve had away from the microcosm of society’s social expectations, otherwise known as high school, the more I have a deep desire to be different and not necessarily ‘fit in’ with all of society’s expectations. To be my unique self, with my unique interests and quirks. I am proud of differentiation. In fact, I encourage it.
Words: Maddi Moncrieff
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Differentiation is choosing to where stripes on stripes, not because it’s fashionable and what everyone else is doing, but simply because it makes you feel good. Kathmandu jackets and Windsor Smith boots may make you feel good too, and that’s not something to feel bad about. As long as you’re not sacrificing any part of your style to conform to societal norms. Differentiation is what distinguishes you from ‘the other guys’ getting interviewed for the dream job. It goes so much deeper than appearance and what you wear. It’s about your unique personality, the way you connect with others and most importantly, it’s above what you value most. I’ve learned so much this year that your values are what is needed to define you and your actions. Knowing that you are living your life as YOU and not someone else, is what Miss McLean and I agree to be liberating. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the most out-there indie, hipster or gypsy going round. I’d consider myself quite ‘regular’ in terms of dress code and social activity. But isn’t it cool when you’re completely yourself and you come across people who appreciate you for you. When you’re together, you bring each other up and learn from each other’s knowledge, traits, quirks and experiences. That’s what’s real and that’s what I’m loving in life right now: Social connection with a foundation of self awareness and shared personal growth. Embracing the differentiation between us all.
talk
An experiment to see how self-aware one is, their comfort level while speaking about personal things and the beauty in identity difference.
What I loved about this experience was the amount of willingness each person had while responding to the questions. Walls broke down in front of me and nobody was afraid to share the truth. Almost every person told me that they enjoyed the experience or expressed their appreciation of reflecting within themselves and then sharing it. One of my aims of this experiment was to observe the self-awareness each individual had and to see the different ways they chose to express themselves. I found it interesting when people chose to use inclusive language, perhaps subconsciously to feel less isolated while talking about these topics. This project also emphasised the common belief that humans are all at the core, quite similar. I was amused because my belief is that when it comes to making decisions, each person’s characteristics, morals and beliefs impact the way one makes a decision, but when it comes down to it, there are two options: logic or feeling and every person bases their decisions off these components. It’s such a simple concept yet we make it so complex. Lastly, I found it compelling that most people would rather have their fear than not, as it offers positive feelings akin to appreciation and drive, which makes me want to turn into a magical unicorn and sprinkle rainbows on everybody’s soul.
Jade, 21. Chronic feta consumer. N: What is your biggest fear? J: Being lost again with myself, like remember when you were a teenager and you didn’t know what anything was and you were so oblivious and naive to the world and you didn’t know what you liked and what you didn’t, i’m really scared that at one point i’ll just become lost, like i’ll be mature but i’ll be lost again. N: What steps do you take to cope with that? J: Just constantly reflecting on your actions and what you’ve done in the past. My friends also help me with that. It’s all about the people you surround yourself with too because they are the biggest motivators. N: if you were stuck in a rut and felt lost, how would you react? J: With anything stressful, i just stay calm. I’ve learnt to stay calm and not get anxious about things anymore. I realised you can stop yourself from feeling the way you’re your feeling. Confidence is key. N: Do you have desires to conquer this fear? J: No, i think i’m kind of already there. N: If you could choose to not have the fear would you? J: Definitely not to have the fear. There’s no point in putting yourself in that situation.
N: What is the process of your decision making? J: I base all of my decisions on feeling, i go off how i’m feeling because i can’t do something and not feel happy about it. N: What has been a big or the hardest decision you have had to make? J: It hasn’t come up yet but it will soon with getting a job, but will i move back home again. i know it will be right to stay and save but i also love my space. That’s going to be a hard decision.
Lucy, 21. Continually responds with “Yaassss” N: What is your biggest fear? L: My biggest fear is dying alone, young and unsuccessful. N: What steps do you take to cope with fearing unsuccessful death in your youth? L: I’m always re assessing my goals and making sure that my life is on a track that i’m proud of and that i am going towards a fulfilled future with lots of love and passion and excitement and learning and not alone with cats. N: if you were to be told you had minimal time left how would you react? L: I would be really devastated and cry for days but then i would pull myself together and make the most of the rest of my life. N: If you could choose to not have the fear, would you? L: No, because i think fear is good if it’s reasonable and i think this fear is reasonable.
N: What is the process of your decision making? L: I think i go with my gut instinct. And then try and check that i haven’t made a big mistake with logic after that. N: Do you seek out advice from other people or make your decisions alone? L: I usually already know the answer, but i seek out advice and don’t listen to what people say. The advice just re-affirms that i made the right decision. N: What has been a big decision you have had to make? L: Maybe moving out of home. Deciding to become independent from my parents, and live in a house separate from them, with my not-family. N: What things do you usually struggle to make decisions about? L: Things that mean i’m going to miss out on something. So if i’m deciding between one set of events and another set of events i’m worried i’m going to miss out on the better option. FOMO, as the young people like to call it these days.
Brandon, 23, Ariel obsessed. N: What is the process of your decision making, both big and small? B: My day to day decisions are very impulsive but big decisions: career, sports, and friendships, a lot more thought process. I’ll probably put three scenarios in my head and see which one benefits me the best. N: Do you seek other people’s advice when decision making? B: Definitely, because i value their opinion. N: What has been a big decision you have had to make? B: Potentially leaving my basketball team. Because i’ve played with these guys for like 8 years so it would be a big decision to just leave and start a new team. N: What things do you usually struggle to make decisions about? B: Doing right by others, rather than just doing right by me first. Because my initial decision might just benefit me in the process so i try and step back and self-evaluate.
N: What is your biggest fear? B: Spiders, and loneliness. N: What steps do you take to cope with that fear? B: Spiders i don’t cope with that at all. With loneliness i just appreciate friends and family as much as possible, i highly value friends and family. N: If you were to be in a room full of spiders, how would you react? B: Kill myself. I’d probably faint, pass out. Physically i would cry and yell out for help. N: If you could choose to not have the fear, would you? B: Spiders, definitely 100% i would choose not to have it. Loneliness i would have it because it makes me value my relationships that much more.
Trudi, 20, Patterned sock addict N: What is your biggest fear? T: Probably not being independent and always having to need someone to do everything, or something or anything. N: Do you take steps to cope with or avoid that fear? T: Nope. N: if you were told you could no longer be independent how would you react? T: I don’t know. I don’t know how i would react. i’d probably say i’d cry, but i probably wouldn’t cry, i would probably just be very shocked maybe for a while. N: If you could choose to not have the fear, would you? T: No, because i feel like it’s not a fear that gets in the way of everyday life.
N: How do usually make decisions? T: The first thing that pops into my head. I don’t think, i just do straight away. N: What has been a big decision you have had to make? T: Um, deferring uni which the decision still hasn’t been made, but that would be a big one in my life currently. N: Why do you find that a big decision to make? T: Because it means that i have to forward think, it’s like planning for the future. N: What things do you usually struggle to make decisions about? T: When i don’t feel particularly for one thing, like when i have no strong emotions either way.
Maddi, 22. Frequent user of the expression “yew”. N: What is your biggest fear? M: I am actually just so worried about letting people down. N: Do you think you feel bad because you’re worried about how they are feeling, or is it because you feel like you’re a bad person? M: I think it’s about how it’s going to make them feel, for sure. I’m very empathetic i think and i just worry how they could potentially take something. : How would you react if you were exposed and N confronted with your fear? M: God, i would just want to run away. I would cry, and i would just be so overwhelmed. My mind would start controlling me. N:If you could choose to not have the fear would you? M: Nup.
N: What is the process of your decision making? M: I’m quite impulsive which frustrates me a little bit and use a lot of my money that i don’t need to, but then when it comes to big decisions i need to get at least 4 different pairs of advice from people close to me, and especially my mum. I definitely have to talk to people and hear their opinions. N: What has been a hard decision you have had to make? M: I think Coles [grad year job] is pretty big, that’s kind of scaring me. The fact that it’s two years, i wasn’t ready for that. That was just intense and something i didn’t think would happen so soon so that was a big decision. N: When you went for the interview at Coles, did you think about the fact you would be locked in for two years? M: Nup. I think if i focused too much on that, i would freak myself out. So i just have to acknowledge it, and move on from it. You just have to do it, and the rest will fall into place.
Janelle, 21, life motto is YOLO. N: What is your biggest fear? J: Literally my biggest fear, and it sounds so cliche, but it’s dying. Dying before i get to achieve things i plan to do. N: How do you cope with that in your day to day life? J: I just try and focus on what i am going to be doing rather than what could possibly happen before i do it. N: if i told you, today you die and you are unable achieve your goals, how would you react? J: I’d be so scared and that’s all i’d be able to focus on. That i am going to die. I can just imagine myself feeling numb. N: If you could choose to not have the fear, would you? J: 100%. N: So you don’t think it drives you? J: It’s not even, no, like why?
N: What is the process of your decision making? J: When i do it, i think about the long term, so i try and imagine what it would look like, how am i going to feel and i weigh it up. N: Do you think you base your decisions more off logic or more off feeling? J: Logic. N: What has been a big decision you have had to make? J: Should i move to America for a year. Because there’s so much to consider, it’s a whole year. What are the pros, what are the cons and i’ve decided to go because it’s sort of like now or never. N: What things do you usually struggle to make decisions about? J: When i have two options and i can see the good in both, but they’re both really different but both really good and i can’t decide.
Chloe, 21. An angel living on Earth. N: What is your biggest fear? C: Hmmm, First thought was dying early, but then i think of other people dying before me and i’d much rather go before the ones i love most. N: if you were to be confronted with your fear, how would you react? C: It sounds weird because i’m very emotional, but when i’m in that position i’m so calm. I do believe i would be more calm than hysterical but it’s very situational. N: If you could choose to not have the fear would you? C: Probably not because that just shows how precious everyone is.
N: What is the process of your decision making? C: The first thing that came to mind was, what’s going to be the easiest. And then what’s going to be best for me, and then i’ll either try and meet myself in the middle or i’ll listen to people’s advice. N: Do you need to listen to people’s advice when making a decision? C: No, that’s just confirmation. N: What has been a big decision you have had to make? C: My lease is up in three months, and i didn’t know whether to stay because i don’t like the house or living with my boyfriend’s dad but i don’t want to live with mum and dad either so that was a big decision but in the back of my head i thought: i know that i’m not going to die and that i’m going to be okay.
Beth 23. Lover of whispering secrets and watching cheese melt. N: What is your biggest fear? B: I don’t know if this is an actual fear, but i just really don’t like feet. But i also fear not being successful, or being forever alone. N: What do you think makes you so uncomfortable about feet? B: The look of them, and if they touch me it grosses me out, i don’t know why! N: if you were to be in a room surrounded by feet, how do you think you would react? B: I think i would be really uncomfortable and tense, and it would probably make me want to cry. N: Do you have desires to conquer this fear? B: Not really. I don’t need to. It doesn’t affect my daily life. N: If you could choose to not have the fear would you? B: No, because i kind of think it makes me, me, Like, everyone knows that i don’t like feet.
N: What is the process of your decision making? B: If others were involved i would probably go off what they want, but if it was a big decision for myself, i would do a pros and cons kind of a thing. If i were to plan what i was eating, i’m quite organised so i would plan what i was going to have before and go to the shops rather than impulse buying. N: When do you find it hard to make a decision? B: I don’t know why i am so indecisive, i think i just have too many options. I think i would find decisions with options or when other people are involved a lot harder to make. N: What has been the hardest decision you have had to make? B: I think when it comes to myself and my decisions, i kind of know what i want. So it’s not a hard decision.
Courtney, 22. Addicted to watching Friends. N: What is your biggest fear? C: My biggest fear would be running out of time or not getting to do the things i really want to do in life, like traveling. I worry about that. N: Do you do anything to prevent that? C: I just make plans. I just tell myself, okay, this is my goal and i’m going to do it. N: if i told you, you couldn’t do the things you want to do, how would you react? C: I think it would be overwhelming and physically i would probably have a panic attack or something. N: If you could choose to have or not have the fear what would you choose? C: Have it.
N: What is the process of your decision making? C: I usually go with my gut instinct and then sometimes my brain and over thinking takes over and it takes me a long time to get to a decision. And usually in the end i go with my gut instinct but sometimes it can be a very long process. N: What has been a big decision you have had to make? C: Applying for jobs in the last 6 months and staying with Munro, which is a decision i have unconsciously made. N: Was it a big decision because you feel it was whether you will be with him forever? C: Yes.
Danika, 21, Has accidentally put salt instead of sugar in her coffee. N: What is your biggest fear? D: Getting to the end of my life and not being satisfied with everything that i have done. So feeling like i’ve missed out on things or not making the most of opportunities. And not have explored enough, learnt enough or loved enough. N: Do you do D: I try not like to feel much and let
anything to manage that fear? to get into routines, because i don’t like i’m just in a rut and not doing a lot of time pass by.
N: if you were to be directly confronted with your fear how would you react? D: If facing my fear means looking back and regretting things i’ve done, i guess all you can do from that point is make a personal commitment to make changes to not feel like that in the future. But i just think i would be disappointed. N: If you could choose to not have the fear, would you? D: No, because it drives me to do different things.
N: What is the process of your decision making? D: Depends how big the decision is and what it’s about, most of the time i rely on intuition more than anything else. I think about the logistics and do pros and cons but mostly i just go with my gut. N: What has been a big decision you have had to make? D: Choosing not to do uni this year because i thought if i made the decision to stop for a year i might stop permanently. N: What things do you usually struggle to make decisions about? D: I’m really indecisive about little things, like what movie to watch at night but generally when it’s an important decision to make i don’t struggle at all.
Jordan, 23, re-assessor of life on a Sunday. N: What is your biggest fear? J: Being disabled and losing control of my body. N: How do you manage that fear? J: I don’t think about it. And i’m consciously grateful every time i can run, every time i can exercise. N: if you were to be directly confronted with your fear how would you react? J: I’m not sure. I’d be angry at first i know that. I’m sure i’d deal with it but i couldn’t say how i’d react until it happened. N: If you could choose to not have the fear, would you? J: I don’t mind having the fear because it makes me grateful for what i have.
N: What is the process of your decision making both big and small? J: Obviously it depends on the context of the decision, if i’m choosing dinner it’s pretty quick and immediate where as a big decision, that’s a fairly more lengthy process, thinking about long term consequences. N: Do you think you base your decisions more off logic or feeling? J: Probably equally both. I have a gut feeling but i think about logic as well. N: What has been a tough decision to make? J: Last weekend, deciding whether to drink or not. One side of me thought i shouldn’t drink because i’ve injured my knee and it affects inflammation, and the other side thought it doesn’t affect my knee. N: What things do you usually struggle to make decisions about? J: Probably social events, deciding between two social events. N:Why do you find that hard? J: Because i want to go to both.
N: What is the process of your decision making both big and small? I: If it was something that i cared about, i would like think about it for an extremely long time, like extremely long, like years. And then i’d either decide I’ve thought about it for long enough and that i should just do it, or i would have eventually come to the realisation that it’s not for me. N: Do you think about consequences when making decisions? I: I think about consequences all the time, that’s why i don’t do things. N: What has been a tough decision to make? I: Probably going away with people, because i extensively think about everyone’s characteristics and how they’re going to interact with one another, because i put so much effort in making the outcome perfect as opposed to just going with the flow. N: What things do you usually struggle to make decisions about? I: I don’t really make decisions. Literally, everything in uni i just do because i got in. I don’t really have a plan either so i don’t like making decisions. N:So would you say you avoid decision making? I: Yeah!
Isabelle, 21, Living to meet Cara. N: What is your biggest fear? I: I’m not sure i have a fear at the moment. N: You don’t have a fear of anything, rational or rational? I: No, but i feel like saying that i have no fears means that i am somehow happy, does that make sense? but that’s not the case, i’m just not scared of anything.
vocab
Language has always been something that i have wondered about in terms of where it derives from and what went through the persons head when they made up the words. I constantly think about the way humans communicate with words and how we are just spilling sounds out of our mouths and somehow it all makes sense. The fact that there are hundreds of other languages that are commonly used around the world also makes my brain want to explode. As well as this i love to observe the choice of words people pick to express themselves and situations. Which brings me to Jess’s vocab, Frequently used words by the hippest kiwi you ever didn’t meet.
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Mean - adjective. Most similar to “cool”. A describing word for something that is good or positive. “It was a mean day” “that’s a mean car!” Savage - adjective. Most similar to “gross”. A describing word for something that is negatively intense but can be altered in context. “You’re so savage” “This cold is savage” Keen - adjective. Most similar to “yes”. A way of saying yes or agreeing. “Let’s get burgers” “Yeah keen” It’s Lit - adjective. Most similar to “the best” A describing word for something really really good. “Wanna get lunch in 10 mins?” “Shit yeah, it’s lit” Legit - adjective. Most similar to “definitely” Used as a positive describing word or to agree with someone. “It was legit” “yeah, sounds legit” Mish - noun. Most similar to “Let’s go” Used as a word for mission when talking about going somewhere. “Shall we mish?” Sacked it - Verb. Most similar to “fucked it” Used if someone makes a mistake or did something accidentally. Ae - exclamation. Most similar to “Yeah”. Used as a way of agreeing questionably. “It’s good ae?” Yarns - noun. Most similar to “exaggerated talk” or “talking shit”. Used when describing the way someone talks or told a story. “She was just telling yarns”
art
Drawings by Charlotte Kenny, post fine art student who electively chose to observe the anatomical world through any media of choice, hers being illustration using lead, graphite and ball point pen. Charlotte created multiple pieces including illustrations she manipulated by cropping sections of scanned images of her original work and presenting them in a repetitious form on paper. What made you choose anatomy art to study? I took the anatomy elective twice, the first time was out of pure curiosity. I also wanted to challenge myself and take advantage of such a unique opportunity. I had a huge fear of death and I think subconsciously I took the class the first time to try and ease this fear and make death less of an abstract concept even though it’s not a natural environment of death. The second time I took the class I went back because I hadn’t had enough time there and wanted to focus solely on the cadavers. Was there a particular body part you were attracted to, in terms of drawings them? At first I was really attracted to the lungs, I spent the first three weeks drawing them. I have spent a lot of time nurturing, being aware of and rehabilitating my own but I had never seen them, I couldn’t picture what they’d really look like and how the fit inside my body, so finally getting to see this is such close detail was quite comforting in an odd way. What was the most challenging part of the experience? The most challenging part was going into the dissection room where the cadavers are kept for the first time. It took me four weeks to go in and even then I could only look around for a few minutes before leaving. By the end of the second semester of doing the class though I spent up to nine hours a week with them, taking they’re (pieces of) body out of the bag and touching their skin. I feel a bit proud when I think about how far I came with that.
What did you find most fascinating about the experience? The entire experience was fascinating, I can’t think of just one... It is just such a weird situation, there’s nothing I can compare it to. My fascination in the intricacies of what is in a human body and seeing it in the cadavers was probably the strongest. There is so much to look at when you really start looking. Was it confronting to know that you were drawing something preserved of your own type, rather than it being an animal or object? In terms of the object of drawing being something preserved of my own type as opposed to being an animal or thing was overall more comforting than confronting for me because, especially in the beginning, I needed some kind of knowledge of ‘after’ when you die. Was there any part about the experience that really resonated with you? There is a part of this experience that will always stay with me. My friend and I both took the class twice and half way through the first semester a new body came as a replacement brain for one that had been there all year but was too badly damaged. The body was untouched except that his legs had been removed about 8 inches from the top and left at Melbourne University. We named him Legolass and grew very attached to him throughout the semester. As new bodies come in each year, we said farewell to Legolass and went on holidays. We came back to the class again 8 months later and in week five we were sitting at another cadaver when a lab tech opened one of the bags across the room and it was Legolass still there! We felt genuinely so emotional and happy, it was like seeing an old friend and neither of us expected to react that way. We went over and said hello to him and talked to him and it was so normal. That was when I realised that getting this incredible privilege to see inside a person, things that make up who they are that they’ve never seen, creates some kind of bond. I always wondered if they were aware of it wherever their soul was.
thoughts
sunshine
On the next page is questions answered by one of the biggest inspirations in my life, my best friend Indigo. This girl is like a sunshine on a rainy day. I’ve never met someone so magnificently individual. She’s the type that will make you want to do things you wouldn’t dream of doing and send liberating joy through your soul. She is one of the only people I know that exudes meaning in every single thing that she does. She makes me want to choose the ice cream flavour nobody else does, talk to strangers on the street for fun and wear an outfit that makes me look ridiculous and then embrace it. That’s why I asked her to write her thoughts on positivity, one of the words I would use to describe this glorious human.
Do you believe in the power of positive thinking? Absolutely! Positive mind = positive vibes. I believe that by projecting positive thoughts, I feel better and ultimately the people I surround myself with will feel similar. What makes you believe it? Things don’t seem to hit me as hard when I’m thinking positively. I believe it because I feel the difference when I make the choice to think a certain way. I wake up feeling brighter, more energised and happy about what I’m doing and where I’m going in life. When do you feel your best and why? I feel my best when I’m working towards my goals, meeting new people and bonding with old pals, appreciating the little things, helping others in any way possible and seeking out new adventures, experiences and challenges. What motto, quote, mantra or set of lyrics do you live by? This too shall pass. Why does this apply to your life? Sometimes I have to stop and actually say to myself that this will pass. Whatever I’m feeling or experiencing is only fleeting. I try to relish in the good and hold on for the bad to disappear. I spent far too long feeling anxious about the future, that I’ve learnt to try and be as present as possible and remember that this will pass, the future will come soon enough and for now I only have that moment.
What is it about the words that resonate with you? Everything passes so quickly, and a moment will be gone before you know it. So for me, it’s about appreciating that moment of joy or reminding yourself that this feeling of anxiety will pass too. If you could make up a quote and share it with the world, what would it be? Why be a negative Nancy, if you could be a positive Petunia?
gratitude
andrew wright beth brewer brandon de silva catherine blackford charlotte kenny chloe wright colette werden courtney wade danika lord indigo hallett isabelle geddes jack mackenzie jade karakurt janelle lewis jessica drysdale jordan donnelly lucy kenny maddi moncrieff mark mclean trudi woodhouse
uncredited designs & photographs by nicole mclean. copyright Š nicole mclean 2016.
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eated by cr ole m nic
ean 2016 l c
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