A Purposed Creation

My Refuge

written by Kerri Bridges

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble.” Psalm 46:1, GW

There I was, broken by disappointment. Dreams seemingly shattered. Hope deferred. I woke up every morning simply because my husband and our six children needed me to. This was not the place we had expected to be. Due to circumstances outside of our control, we found ourselves moved back to our hometown, defeated, having to leave the place we had come to love. Not just back home, but living in a tiny RV parked outside my parents’ home. We were broke and broken.

We slowly eased ourselves back into the routine of hometown life. Back at our small country church, my husband and I took our old place on the worship team, singing and playing alongside two of my sisters and my brother-in-law, who was the worship pastor. A place of comfort, no doubt, but with our spirits crushed by seeming failure, a business venture that had led us to move a thousand miles from home, but at that moment had us right back at square one.

Every day seemed like an exercise in faith. What now? How do we restart our lives? Where is our next paycheck going to come from? Are our kids resilient enough to bounce back from this? Ranging in age from 11 to 17, the five we had still at home were all in a pivotal stage in life, the pre-teens and teens. So many uncertainties.

But still we forge onward, don’t we? We face the mornings not knowing how we’ll make it to the end of the day, but somehow we do. Even if it’s flat on our faces with tearstained cheeks, we make it to see another sunset. Another sunrise. But it was in this place that I learned a secret. A secret written in His Word. A secret I had heard many times, but now had the opportunity to transcend from head knowledge to heart knowledge.

“He that dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress; my God, in Him will I trust.” (Psalm 91:1-2, AKJV) In desperate need of a refuge, I knew I could only find it in the presence of God. Initially, standing on stage every Sunday morning, my faith depleted, my hope in low reserve, I sang and played with the little I had. Every week, my one goal was to worship God with all that I had, no matter how meager the offering. How faithful He was with what little I had to give!

I found myself with the resilience and strength to make it through another week. My faith and hope grew a little more each day. Our circumstances did not initially change, but my heart did! My perspective did! I did! And eventually our circumstances did, as well.

We spent a year back home. In retrospect, it is a time I cherish. I developed a closer relationship with one of my sisters that I hadn’t had before. She is now one of my closest friends and a confidant. I got a year with my parents that, in hindsight, is priceless. I lost both of them within this last year.

But the greatest gift that this experience gave me was understanding how to blindly trust God and worship Him not only because of, but in spite of my circumstances. That the secret place of His presence is my refuge, my fortress, my strength, my solace, my haven, my lifeline. I can say of the LORD, He is my God, and in Him will I trust.

ABOUT KERRI

I have been married to the love of my life for almost 25 years. We have six incredible children together. I have been a part of the many aspects of worship since childhood. As a pianist, singer, and songwriter, my heart is to draw others to the heart of God through worship, finding a place of refuge in His presence. Women World Leaders is honored to have Kerri lead worship for the monthly online Facebook live teaching, prayer and worship event.