Broken and Beloved

We Are Broken...

written by Aimee Taylor

Since Adam and Eve chose to disobey God way back in the Garden and eat the fruit from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil … we have sought to do things in our own way and on our own terms. We want to control our lives. We want ownership. We want to be our own god. We keep thinking that living outside of God’s love and boundary lines is what will bring us contentment and happiness. But it never does. The whole Old Testament illustrates this for us time and time again. Just scratch the surface of the book of Genesis and by chapter 4, the first murder has taken place, and by chapter 6, God is so grieved by humans that he obliterates all but a small remnant! We can read all their unending mistakes thinking that God’s people are fools and distance ourselves from what seems like their complete and utter lack of faithfulness… but the problem is that we are no different than they are.

When we decided to cast off our Creator, we thought we were choosing liberty, but that is not what we got. Romans 1:21-23 says that when we chose not to honor God and His ways our minds become ‘darkened and confused’ and that leads us down some very dark paths of idolatry and sin. What we thought was a choice of freedom and autonomy really brought us bondage. Even many of us who claim to know Christ still fall prey to these same chains. Many are having sex outside of the confines of marriage, running our businesses as if God cannot see, and chasing after the next comfort or distraction thinking that our idols are going to give us the rest we are truly seeking. Sprinkle in a platitude and we’ve got the perfect formula to tell ourselves that everything we are doing is totally acceptable. So what can we do, can we ever be free of our sin habits? Can we ever live filled with joy? Or are we stuck living only to please ourselves and never to please the Lord?

Our brokenness is crippling us. Not because being in need is wrong, being broken and in need is just our lot in life after the Fall. But we keep trying to fill in our deep well of need from the wrong sources. Jeremiah 2:13 says that we have given up God as our true source of living water and we have tried to dig our own cisterns in hopes that they will magically be filled with life-giving water from a source that isn’t God. Instead though, our cisterns are cracked and broken, and so they really hold nothing at all. HE IS THE SOURCE of all of life and yet we still refuse to believe Him, make the truth our foundation, and rest in Him. What we need instead is to be totally dependent on Him. Throwing ourselves at the feet of Jesus, recognizing that we can accomplish nothing without Him. It has to be a total surrender to His ways, His timing, and His leadership. Are you willing to do this to gain Jesus? This total dependence puts us right where we should be, delving into and relying on God’s Word, and knowing to our core His immensely beautiful character. He is good… so GOOD. His goodness is so other and has nothing to do with how circumstances in our lives line up. It has everything to do with His unchanging and otherworldly glory and beauty.

So how do I learn to live inside of this truth so that it becomes part of who I am? Look at Proverbs 3:5-8. In The Voice it says, “Place your trust in the Eternal; rely on Him completely; never depend upon your own ideas and inventions. Give Him the credit for everything you accomplish, and He will smooth out and straighten the road that lies ahead. And don’t think you can decide on your own what is right and what is wrong. Respect the Eternal; turn and run from evil. If you depend on Him, your body and mind will be free from the strain of a sinful life, will experience healing and health, and will be strengthened at their core.”

First, let’s start by turning and running away from evil, this is called repentance. We have to stop turning to other sources looking for life. We have to stop thinking that our way is better. We even have to stop thinking that life can be lived to glorify God in our own strength. Because it can’t. Confess out loud that you have tried life on your own and it has not worked, and that you have sinned against God. And ask the One True God, your Creator, to come and be your only Source of Life. Consider doing this with a trusted friend, who can encourage you.

And secondly, ask God to implant in you the truth that His way is better (Prov 3:5-8), that He is good (Nahum 1:7), and that He is always for you and never against you (Romans 8:31-34). Pray these scriptures into your heart and mind, asking God to replace the truth for the lie you once believed. As these seeds are planted deep in your soul, ask the Holy Spirit to water them each time you spend time with Him in the Word and as you pray and listen to the Spirit. As doubts roll back up, confess those too, and learn to stand on the rock-solid truth of God’s declared Word.

Our need for Jesus has to be at the forefront of our walk with Him. We must have a continual posture of turning our heart, mind, soul, and body back to Him each day asking for the grace and truth we so desperately need to be able to live. Total dependence on our beautiful, loving Creator is actually what we are made for - so return to Him as your only Source. And then guess what? You will actually experience real rest! It’s what your heart is longing for! Because you will finally be held in His arms, just as you were always meant to be.

Aimee Taylor is a Spiritual Director, counselor, and pastor’s wife, who wants to know and love Jesus more everyday.