A Beautiful Mess

BY JESSICA PRUKNER

The days seem long, but the years are short.

Social media memories have become one of my favorite daily visits. The memories seem to date back about eight years now; I enjoy seeing my kids’ little faces and hearing their little voices and laughs when I click on them. My youngest reminds me that she will soon be a teenager, leading to a whole house of teens. This realization makes these social media memories bring a bigger smile to my face and a few happy tears to my eyes. Where did the time go?

I remember when my three kids were younger, and I would take them to a mom group once a week at a church for an hour of “me time” and conversation with other moms. There would be an “older” mom, the category I now seem to fall in, who would tell us how fast it will all go by. I remember the saying, “The days seem long, but the years are short.” In those moments, the days seemed like they lasted forever. I remember plopping down at night in my bed, beyond exhausted, hoping to sleep through the night without interruptions to start the whole day over on repeat again.

Now, here I am with three almost teenagers, one who will have her driver’s license this year and is already considering colleges. I just can’t believe it. I can’t believe I survived those long days. I can’t believe they went by so quickly. I can’t believe how much fun I am having with these three wonderful, amazing, fun, and energetic teenage humans in my house. In the moments I get lost in the memories being replayed before me, I am so very thankful we chose to homeschool them for all those years. The level of learning fun that we had on a daily basis was beyond what a school system could have provided. The science experiment messes, the fort-building reading areas with imagination and cuddles, the farm life with all the hands-on animals, the craft attempts and successes that were ours are all things I know I will treasure forever and I believe they will remember forever.

Rest knowing that each day is a gift from above to enjoy and experience your children.

Early on, when I began homeschooling my kids, I remember carrying so much weight and worry. Am I doing this right? Am I messing them up? Will they learn anything? Will they be smart enough? Will they be socialized correctly? I cried many tears and spent sleepless nights wondering if I was able to provide them with enough. I know this is a common homeschooling parent talk track because, over the years, I have gotten weekly emails asking for direction and advice that all stem from the fear of somehow “messing our kids up.” I remember worrying about the right curriculum, if they should be in certain grade levels or co-ops, and what extra classes I should put them in online; the list of worries almost seemed never-ending.

I am so very thankful we chose to homeschool them for all those years.

But here we are, almost ten years later, with teenagers preparing to become adults, and I couldn’t be more proud of the people they have become. Are they perfect? Absolutely not. No one is. But what these kids have become and how much they have learned is wonderfully beautiful. Each one of my kids brings their gifts and talents to their community, they love God, and they love people. They have been able to flourish in their own personal ways and have found a way to affect this dark world positively. Each kid has convictions and strong opinions they boldly share and stand firm on. They seem to know more information than I ever taught them, and each has skills in areas of which I am absolutely clueless. For example, my oldest loves to dance and compete. I love to watch her lose herself in something she loves so much. She is passionate about mental health and how the brain works and can debate you for hours on any subject she loves. My son is a phenomenal drummer, photographer, lego creation artist and builder, and baseball player. My youngest loves animals and softball and can medically care for serious injuries that have urgent care workers offering her a job when she turns 18. All the things I have just listed are not any skills I have taught them, but the freedom of homeschooling allowed them to be directed to what interested them most.

I may not have the highest ACT/SAT-scoring kids, but I do have kids who have been able to find what they love daily in their schooling career and pursue it with all-in effort. I have been able to fuel their passionate fires by getting them private lessons, deeper knowledge, or personal experiences that just can’t be allotted by a public school system that is trying to teach 30+ kids at once. This is the beauty of homeschooling. Mom, dad, and homeschooling caregiver, you are not perfectly equipped for this job. I was not perfectly equipped. But, God. I love that saying, “BUT, GOD!” God knows exactly who and what your kids are to become. God has a wonderful plan for their lives. He is the one who can perfectly direct their footsteps.

You are not inadequate to teach your kids when God is on your side. If there is one thing I have learned from homeschooling my kids in the past ten years, it is this: “God’s got them.” I don’t have to be “God” because He already is, and He knows best how to do His job. He will lead and guide my kids to their destiny. Our job is to trust Him and guide our kids to Him constantly, daily, in every struggle, battle, victory, and season. Homeschooling is a beautiful gift because it allows me to keep the most important thing front and center daily: GOD! Nothing else matters when we keep the main thing the main thing.

Don’t doubt what you are doing, don’t worry yourself to sleep, and rest knowing that each day is a gift from above to enjoy and experience your children, the beautiful gift God entrusted you with, to daily bring them back to Him in every opportunity of learning. When we allow them to grow without the overburdening stresses of this world, completely focused and centered on God, our kids can flourish and become exactly who they need to be. Thankfully, if we keep posting, the social media memories will continue to grow so we can daily thank God for all He has done.

God knows exactly who and what your kids are to become.