El Roi... the God Who Sees Me

BY LISA HATHAWAY

Even If…

It has always amazed me how quickly things can change, especially when we least expect it. I mean, in the blink of an eye, you can find yourself on an unforeseen path. We have our plans, ideas, and expectations, but somehow, God continues to work His plan—the only plan that matters. I have seen the sovereignty of God in my life over the years, so why would I be surprised how He moves even when it is not how I think He should? He comes in and interrupts our plans for a reason and purpose.

While sitting in a theater watching “The Sound of Freedom” on July 4, 2023, I heard a call to go on a mission trip for sex trafficking. When the lights went out mid-movie, I got out on my phone to look for organizations that arrange such mission trips, and I found one called Rahab’s Rope. I emailed them immediately and got a response the next day. Within one week, I filled out a 16page application, interviewed on the phone, and was accepted for the trip to Goa, India, that would take place from December 30, 2023, to January 13, 2024. The timing was perfect, as always, because that is how Jesus works. God opened the door, and I walked in His “yes.” The money was all raised—of course it was, because this was what God had for me. I felt at peace about it. I answered, and I walked. We started having group calls, and I met some amazing women I would be with on this trip. I was so excited; God was leading, guiding, and preparing me.

But then I started feeling strange the week leading up to the first week of December. It was hard to describe, but I knew things were off. On December 1, I found myself in the hospital having emergency surgery for acute appendicitis. I had to rest that whole week. My mind started running rampant, and then I caught myself. Why would I ever question what God is doing? I knew He was working. He reminded me that He was protecting me from something.

On Christmas Eve, I started to feel as if I was getting a cold. I pushed through with family and the holidays, knowing I had a few short days until I left for India. I was already packed and getting things finalized on my to-do list. Then, on Thursday, December 28, I went to urgent care and was diagnosed with Flu A. I was sitting in the doctor’s office, wondering how to make a 19-hour plane ride with the flu.

My heart and mind were not matching in thoughts or feelings. My mind knew the realistic thing to do, but my heart knew I wanted to go on the trip. I knew I had heard God’s yes. As I lay in bed all day praying and worshiping, I heard God say so clearly, “Lisa, you were faithful and did walk in my yes, but you need to trust me and also be okay walking with the no I give you.” As I lay there, tears rolled down my face. I had to make a tough decision not to go on the trip. There is nothing like a last-minute decision not to travel around the world on a mission trip for which people had given and supported me in so many ways.

But God sees. God knows. God is sovereign.

When I told the team, I received a credit and was quickly scheduled to go to India on a medical mission trip in August. I don’t know why this happened, and I might never know. But I do know that even when God says no and shuts a door, He is still so good. God sees things we don’t, and we must trust His hand. It is hard to walk in that trust, but there is nothing sweeter than knowing Jesus has me in His hand.

God opens doors, and He closes them. I have learned not to question why, because I know that the God of the universe sees me. I continually rehearse all I know of God. It’s like a movie on rewind because I have seen His faithfulness, and God never changes. When I wonder what God is orchestrating in my life, the scripture that speaks to my soul is Psalm 63:7-8. For you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings, I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me (ESV).

You might be experiencing a detour in your life and feel you can’t see how God is working. My friend, God works beautifully in our detours to bring Him glory. Things may look different than we imagined, but the puzzle pieces will come together so intricately to make a masterpiece only He can create. We might not see it right now, but we will see it. God is so faithful, and His Word is steadfast.

What will you do in the “even ifs” of your life? Will you choose to worship Him? Will you still choose to see Him as sovereign over your life? Walk in His “yes.” And be okay if you walk boldly and faithfully in the “yes” and then the door closes. Your obedience is the ultimate gift to God. He is worth it all, and He will forever be with you in the “even ifs.”

Lisa Hathaway resides in Lexington, NC, with her husband, Everett, and their children. As a special needs mom, breast cancer survivor, and survivor of a tragic car accident, suffering has been intertwined in her story, and she yearns for others to experience God’s sweetness through their difficulties. Lisa has an MBA and is pursuing her Clinical and Mental Health Counseling degree. She works at The Oaks Therapeutic Community and is an integral part of the WWL leadership team.