Through a Mother’s Eyes

Role Reversal

BY DIANE CHEVELDAYOFF

As a parent, no matter the age of our children, we never stop being a role model. Our roles change from being a full-time parent to being a parent/friend and even being a friend/parent, but we are always called to minister to our children as they go through their life journeys. But as we get older, we must remember and accept that our children can also be called to minister to us.

Parenting older children requires consistent effort, care, and intentionality, especially when offering advice and direction. There are times when the best parenting is simply letting our children know we are there for them, not necessarily condoning their life choices but loving them regardless.

APPRECIATE THE SIMILARITIES AND RESPECT THE DIFFERENCES.

Lately, in my family, we have experienced what I view as a role reversal more frequently. My girls, now in their late 20s, have become role models to others and even minister to my husband and me. We find it exciting and comforting to see our children’s emotional and spiritual growth. Although all three girls are in very different stages of life and have different priorities, time and again, we see them each expressing themselves maturely.

Recently, my husband and I made a ministry decision that took us to a new location—away from our girls’ “childhood home.” Our daughters each showed her support and encouragement, knowing we were walking in obedience to whatever God deemed. And when God started revealing our current assignment may not be long-term, our daughters again exhibited such deep compassion and concern. Their ability to listen, support, and affirm us was skillfully displayed at such remarkable and needed times. They saw and pointed out a change in us; they sensed stress and anxiety, recognized health concerns, and even questioned the strain on our marriage as my husband and I were physically living in two locations for the majority of the time, awaiting the sale of our home. These were all valid concerns they could not ignore.

Life can take some interesting and unexpected turns. Yet, if we look closely and stay in the Word, seeking Him and His direction in our journey, God will speak to us in various ways. He can even speak to us through our adult children.

Through the years, our family adopted the saying, Appreciate the similarities and respect the differences, which has helped us have open minds when it comes to receiving input and advice and expressing concerns, all while knowing that we each speak to each other from the heart without ulterior motives. Many times, we get the impression we aren’t heard. As parents, it can be tempting to think that what we say or do goes unheard or unnoticed. THINK AGAIN! No matter their age, our children hear and see more than we know. As we are mindful of our actions and pray to see the fruits of our efforts as our children age, we can trust that God will determine the outcome in His time. And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching. (Titus 2:7 NLT).

We have been very blessed to experience the results of our efforts. In the past, one daughter might go for months without communication due to outside influences making her feel weak if she talked to or confided in Mom or Dad. Recently, she began her journey back to her roots; now, we have lengthy and even spiritual conversations multiple times a week.

There have been times when we’ve requested specific prayer, and the response was, “Why don’t we pray right now?” or “God’s got a bigger plan than we can see in the chaos.” This, my friend, is the epitome of role reversal.

The Bible teaches us to respect those who are growing in Christ. Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity (1 Timothy 4:12 NLT). This scripture comes alive as my daughters continue their own life lessons and growth, and we’ve been pleasantly surprised by their comments and encouragement as the roles flipped.

BLESSINGS DEVELOP IN THE VALLEY.

We will all continue to go through valleys, but we need to remember the growth that happens there. How we handle the valley and the mountain tops will leave a lasting impression. When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs. The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings (Psalm 84:6 NLT). Blessings develop in the valley. Role reversal can be good or bad. I’m sure you know the sayings, “The apple didn’t fall far from the tree” and “You reap what you sow.” Think hard on those sayings, as the same can apply to the role reversal we experience. My goal is to make it a good one! How about you?

Diane is a professional meeting planner with over 40 years of experience in the hospitality industryplanning, contracting, and executing meetings and events worldwide. (www.ExecutiveDiamond.com) She and her husband Les have been married 31 years, have three beautiful adult girls, and work together in their ministry, HALO - Highway, Healing Arts Life’s Oxygen (www.HALOHighway.com). Although she never envisioned being a writer, Diane loves the impact made on lives in the various ministries of Women World Leaders and World Publishing and Productions.