Voice of Truth Stories

Meet Michelle Tascoe from Twain Harte, California

God will increase your capacity in the season when you need Him the most because His grace is sufficient—it is always enough and has no limits. As I write this, it has only been eight weeks since I lost my son, Leo Abishai Tascoe. He was with us for a miraculous 27 hours from the moment that he took his first breath after being delivered by C-section.

He went to heaven after being held in my arms with our closest family and friends surrounding my husband, Jeribai, and me in our hospital room. As I reflect on it all, I know there is no coincidence that I am sharing our story because I can not deny that our testimony is meant to encourage you as you read it to trust God through whatever you are facing today.

Years ago, I had my third child, Leilani, a beautiful baby girl, and I thought to myself that we were good and I was done having kids. As the months continued, I could not shake the feeling that we were missing someone; the feeling just would not leave. It was only after I agreed in my heart that I would have one more child that the feeling let up, and I felt a peace. My husband and I were pregnant a few months later, but when my doctor could not find a heartbeat, my world came crashing down. I was shocked because this had never happened before. My three kids were quick pregnancies; I was not prepared for the heartache and heartbreak of a miscarriage. The next year, we were surprised to find out we were pregnant again; this time, there was a heartbeat! I was so excited because this time, there was life; I heard it with my own ears. Six weeks later, the look on my doctor’s face let me know that we lost this baby too. So many unanswered questions went through my mind. What is happening God? Did I not feel the desire of my heart to have one more? Why did I feel so strongly that someone was missing from our family, but when I agreed to follow through on my heart’s desire, why would I have two miscarriages?

Proverbs 3:5 says, Trust in the Lord your God and lean not on your own understanding (NIV). That same week, I was at our church conference and the visiting pastor was praying over the whole congregation. I was in the front with my arms raised and my eyes closed. She began to prophesy; as I listened to her speak, I opened my eyes and realized she was prophesying over me.

“Capacity is determined by receptivity, not by outward things. If you have the will to receive it, says the Lord, if you will make the room for it, says the Lord, I will cause you to walk in capacities you would have never felt prepared for.”

She asked me if I was pregnant, not knowing just days ago that I had miscarried, and proceeded to prophesy that there is an anointing for a child.

“I don’t know all the details, but there is an anointing for a child that is about new capacity... There are some children, every child is gifted, but some children are demarcations. And I declare to you that there is a watershed moment and a child that must come forth that is a demarcation for the future, for what it is you are to step into, because you will not finish in disappointment.”

All I knew was to trust God at His word and walk in faith for the capacity that would come.

After two more years of trying, with my last cycle of the year and my last pregnancy test in the box, it happened! There were two purple lines letting me know we were pregnant! We waited until we passed the 16-week mark, practically holding our breath, praying that we would not miscarry. Everything was great; there was a strong heartbeat, and our baby was growing in size as expected. When I answered the phone the next week from my doctor, the news he shared was something I did not expect. Our son had a fatal genetic defect; there was nothing we could do for him. We were given the choice to terminate. What I thought was finally a dream come true turned into one of the most difficult but lifechanging chapters I have ever experienced.

We made every decision carefully, thoroughly considering our three kids and the testimony of faith we could display. You see, I had an abortion at 19, and now, as a mom of three kids, I could not intentionally terminate a life that God gave me—whether we would have a few minutes or hours with him or even if he was a stillbirth—I could not get in the way of God’s creation being formed inside of me. The 37 weeks with Leo increased me in so many ways I didn’t know were possible. My capacity for love grew as God showed me to take the time to tell people how much I loved them. My capacity for trust grew as I trusted God for every breath I took because the amniotic fluid I was carrying was double the amount due to little Leo’s growth. My capacity for being present grew as I focused intently on what was right in front of me instead of the worry and what-ifs of the future. My capacity for courage grew as I stayed the course and ministered to friends and family, encouraging them despite my own struggles. And my capacity for leadership grew as I carried my little lion Leo inside me and saw myself as the lioness leader chosen to be his mom.

On the day of his birth, hundreds of people all over the world were praying for us. Little Leo’s life and his story were shared all over social media. The impact of his 27 hours here on earth glorified God and His faithfulness. So many people shared how their faith was reignited and their prayer life rose to a new level. Some people shared Leo’s story with loved ones and led family members to Christ!

I heard a beautiful quote in the weeks leading up to Leo’s birthday,

“10,000 unlit candles can’t light one candle, but one candle can light 10,000 unlit candles.”

That is what my son did. His little light lit the hearts of 10,000, and the ripple effect continues as we share our story with Voice of Truth and Women World Leaders. A friend of ours said, “I was thinking about Leo today, and it brought joy to me that his little life was one that exclusively knew love.” I believe with my whole heart that my son Leo was conceived in love, carried in love, delivered in love, and then surrendered in love.

I am forever changed by this experience; I hope it reminds you that God is a miracle giver. We may never understand the trials of life we face. Still, you can trust Him with all your heart, know that God’s grace is sufficient, and grow in the capacity of character and identity that God has called you to as you learn to love more, trust more, be more present and courageous, and be a lioness leader here on earth.

Michelle Tascoe is a financial and life coach, coaching over 1600 clients all over the country to get out of debt, create a budget that works using biblical truths about financial stewardship, ownership and leadership. Visit www.michelletascoe.com or email michelle@michelletascoe.com.