an ode to the angels

By Katie Mabry

i saw an angel once in my nana’s home,

painted on the wall, her hands outstretched

to bless the children with her on the bridge.

i dreamt that i was one of them

my fears and my sadness spilling out of me

and disappearing into the darkness of the water beneath. then i got older

and i stopped dreaming,

and i started hurting instead. i

f sin was wrong, why was i made to do it?

and if fate was real, why was mine so bad?

my nana kept buying me bibles, spending

her money on a god that i could never begin

to learn how to love. i thought i had tried

but like with all other things, i had failed.

i never found that angel on the wall again,

but there was a girl once with dark hair and dark eyes who held my hand

and told me that i was beautiful. i thought i could feel my sadness melt off me

and seep into the concrete at my feet

and then i realized that maybe not all angels

have wings or blessings or golden hair that look like the sun. angels can be human too.