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HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Letter from...
The Editor Dee Marie Editor-n-Chief President/CEO 4
Well, if you are reading this, that means you have made it through another year. Saying 2020 was challenging is not an adequate word to describe what transpired. Usually at the end of every year, we hear, “New Year, New You!” This new year is a little different. I have not heard a lot about resolutions, or making great changes. It has been a subtle transition from 2020 to 2021. Honestly most of us are either exhausted, or trying to process some traumatic situations we may have experienced in the past year. There has been a lot to process. I want to encourage you to focus on your mental wellness. Take inventory of your emotional, spiritual, and mental well being. Is it time to revisit your therapist? Is it time to find a therapist for the first time? Either way, investing in yourself is a great way to begin this new year. Sometimes when we deal with traumatic experiences, we may not always recognize them as such. Self-care is not just visiting a nail salon, getting a massage, or taking a walk, it is also treating yourself to a counselor. Mental health has been taboo in our culture for so long, it’s time we create a new normal. We owe it to ourselves to be completely whole inside and out. When we begin to heal, we allow our entire households to heal. You are so special and worth every effort. I’m rooting for you. YOU GOT THIS! Welcome 2021!
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Survivor’s Story THERE IS VICTORY AFTER TRAUMA!! Her name is Timeka Shaunail Staples. She was born on August 29th 1976. Her mother and sister, along with herself moved to Madison Illinois in 1992. She was 16 when she started dating an older guy in his 20’s, by the name of “Steve Mac” from Madison, Illinois. While they were dating, he introduced her to his family. One night they were out eating and ran into his brother “Ricky Simon”. The first time he saw Timeka, he had the biggest crush on her and Ricky did not care about her dating his brother. As Steve and Timeka kept dating and enjoying their relationship, his brother would not stop coming around. There would be times that she would walk over to the Garesche Apartments, Ricky would see her and start following Timeka around the apartment projects. One night he saw her again and he chased her to the train cardboard boxes. Timeka jumped onto the train cardboard box trying to hide from him. Ricky found her and jumped on the other end of the train. He hit her, and she tried fighting back. She was screaming, but he overpowered her. Ricky managed to get Timeka’s clothes off and he raped her. As he was forcing himself on her, and she was screaming, her friends were passing through and heard the sounds. Both of Timeka’s friends ran toward the train cardboard box and jumped on. They grabbed Ricky and started beating him badly. They both asked her “what’s wrong?” Timeka said “This animal raped me”. After beating him, all three of them jumped off the train and ran.
Many times survivors who experience rape are very reluctant to tell anyone, and according to statistics most survivors know their assailant. This causes them to live in silence even the more, because of fear of retaliation, possibly breaking up friendships, and in some cases families. So how can you move forward, how can you heal from such a traumatic experience? Is healing even possible? The truth is, it takes time for true healing to occur, and it is a journey. But what gives us hope are survivors such as Timeka Shaunail Staples. Not only was she able to overcome a violent sexual assault, but she overcame and now thriving in her gifts. Unfortunately life can deal us a hand that is extremely unfair. So much that it delays, and sometimes ends opportunities for us to use the amazing gifts God gave us. The enemy is aware of how special, talented, and awesome you are, and how you alone can make a difference and place a mark on this earth. He will use anything to make you never reach your full potential. Existing in silence after sexual abuse causes major internal suffering. We can, however, change the narrative. God can take you from victim to victor. With the 7
assistance of the right therapist, and/or support groups, you can be on your road to much needed wholeness. Timeka Shaunail Staples is now a professional gospel artist, professional drummer, and amazing actress. Although it is not at all easy telling your story, let alone in a public magazine, your story will be the very thing that will bring healing to many other survivors. Timeka is just an example of many survivors that has change tragedy into triumph. What the enemy meant for evil God turned everything around for her good. We are so grateful that healing and victory is ours for the taking, you just have to take the first step, and God will take it from there. Please be sure to follow Timeka Shaunail on all of her social media platforms. She is using her life as a witness of strength, courage, and bravery. A Voice of Sexual Abuse Survivors!
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“You may not control all the events that
happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced
by them� -Maya Angelou
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THE COUNSELOR’S CORNER
Andrea is a member and also on the board at Moving4ward Ministries, a 501c3 organization Supervised by: Jean Moretto, PhD, LPC created to provide the community of St. Louis and St. Charles counties of Missouri, a place where Andrea completed her Master of Arts degree in adult survivors of sexual abuse ages 18 and older, Professional Counseling May 2017 from regardless of race, gender, ethnicity, or sexual Lindenwood University. Andrea believes that a orientation, can feel safe sharing experiences that primary means of change lies in developing a has caused lasting effects on professional strong therapeutic and collaborative resources so healing can begin. Andrea is Youth relationship. She utilizes a strengths based Mental Health First Aid Certified. Andrea is also a approach in working with clients to develop a member of the unique fit to their personal needs and draws from International several modalities including, but not limited to, Honor Society of cognitive behavioral therapy and solution based Counseling work. Professionals, Chi Andrea has worked with clients of all ages and has Sigma Iota. dealt extensively with depression, anxiety, sexual abuse and behavioral issues. When requested by the client, Andrea finds that seeking God authentically in session results in healing and can lead to life forming changes.
Andrea Jackson, CIT , contributor
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DEPRESSION IS REAL…BUT HELP IS AVAILABLE
HELP WITH DEPRESSION
Depression is one of the most common mental health conditions in the world. It is more than sadness over a setback or a period of grief after losing a loved one. It is chronic misery that hinders one’s quality of life. Depression often involves sleep disorders and appetite changes as well as feelings of guilt. Treatment can help individuals with these symptoms. Psychotherapy treatment for depression relies on trust and emotional support. An effective therapist provides people a comfortable, private setting to heal. Together, they examine the causes and potential solutions to their concerns. Therapists help depressed individuals build new ways of thinking and reacting. Therapy can allow people to return to the loved ones and activities that they care about most.
Here are some types of depression that professionals often treat: Major Depressive Disorder – this has symptoms severe enough to impact daily life. It is the most commonly diagnosed form of depression.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) – this affects individuals during the colder moths of the year.
Dysthymia also called “Persistent Depressive Disorder – this can last for at least two years. Its symptoms are milder than those of Major Depressive Disorder. 11
Captain Clay Farmer Captain Clay Farmer has served as a police office for over 19 years, first with the Vinita Park Police Department which is now a part of the North County Police Collaborative. Captain Farmer served as the Commander of the Dellwood, Pine Lawn, and Uplands Park precincts and also as the department’s Commander of Community Engagement, Public Relations Officer, School Resource Officer Supervisor, Training Coordinator, Housing Supervisor, Communications Supervisor and is responsible for recruitment and hiring.
Under his command officers were required to participate in a multitude of Community Partnership programs. The programs included coaching local basketball teams, hosting community events, volunteering at the Boys and Girls club chapter started by the cooperative and running a successful Police Explorers program for youth.
Previously, Captain Farmer served as Patrolman and has moved up to the ranks of Captain. He also was the supervisor for the department’s drug unit and he also served as the Commander in the Bureau of Field Operations. He currently works in the St. Louis Prosecuting attorney’s office where his duties are Director of Community Engagement, head of Wesley Bell security team, and Police Liaison. He also serves a gang instructor at the Eastern Missouri Police Academy. He is also an active member on the board of CWIT the Center for Woman In Transition.
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SAFETY TIPS POLICE OFFICER SAFETY TIP OF THE MONTH: Well winter has now arrived so these crime, like car thefts and robberies unfortunately are going to get worse, so here are a couple tips that will help keep you guy's safe if you're working.
1. CALL THE POLICE DISPATCHER AND ASK FOR A STAND BY- When you get off of work, day or night, especially at night, when typically the parking lot is empty, a police officer will watch and make sure you get to your vehicle safely. You can also contact your local police department, and request drive through patrols at different times to help keep employees safe. 2. IF POSSIBLE DON'T WALK ALONE- I know this is not always possible, but when it is walk as a group to your destination. We take it for granted sometimes, but crimes like these occur in the broad daylight. So even in the daytime have someone watch you to your vehicle, and when you get in DRIVE OFF IMMEDIATELY!!!! 3. CALL THE POLICE DISPATCHER AND ASK FOR A WALK THROUGH: Whether you work in retail, fast food, Corporate America, or anything in-between it doesn't matter. If a person/persons are in or around your place of business, and you get that sense that something isn't right, a police officer will come by and walk through your business . In my experience, when we do this and they had bad intentions, a casual stroll through will make them leave without even making contact or them even knowing you called.
Lastly, trust the captain! Don't ever feel like you’re bothering us, or we won't respond or think it won't happen to you. I'm sure every victim of these crimes weren't expecting it to happen when it did. PLEASE STAY SAFE OUT THERE, YOU NEVER KNOW WHO'S WATCHING YOU!!!
#THISISWHATCOMMUNITYLOOKSLIKE!!! Captain Clay Farmer
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HEALTHY LIVING with Delisa
Delisa Richardson is an Integrative Wellness and Life Coach, Certified Personal Trainer, and host of The Wellness Walk with Delisa Richardson podcast. Delisa focuses on educating, engaging, and helping women find balance in their Mental, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual health. She works to empower those who are living with chronic illness find the best fitness & movement methods for them so that they can not only survive but thrive in the face of illness. Delisa has over 25 years in the Wellness industry. Delisa has received certifications from the Integrative Wellness Academy, The American Council on Exercise, Leslie Sansone Walk from Home, The Personal Training Certification Institute, Zumba Inc, and the American
Richardson
Heart Association. As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and domestic violence, she is a fierce advocate working to end the stigma of speaking out and empowering those in toxic and dangerous relationships to seek out help. Delisa became an advocate for Inflammatory Bowel Disease awareness after being diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis in 2004. She is a wife, mother to 3 boys and Gigi to a grandson and granddaughter. Contact Delisa by email at delisa@DelisaRichardson.com or via Instagram at Delisa Richardson Wellness. 14
NEW YEAR, NEW PERSPECTIVE: Elevating Wellness through Evaluation & Gratitude Welcome to 2021. We are coming into this year on the heels of a year unlike any other in our lifetimes. Our lives have been changed in multiple ways and continues to change as we navigate life amid a global pandemic. Traditional New Year’s wellness messaging centered around outward appearances and aesthetics fall hollow in times like these. I encourage you to adopt a new perspective consisting of Evaluation and Gratitude instead. The key to lasting behavioral change is the ability to look at our behavior patterns and the environments that have shaped our beliefs about ourselves. It is imperative to be kind to yourself during this process. This is not the time to judge or shame yourself. After a thorough evaluation, it is time work on gratitude. Yes, gratitude for it all; the good, the challenging and the messy. Every experience is a lesson learned. Writing and reciting a gratitude affirmation will shift your perspective in a powerful way. Please do not skip this step. Here are 3 keys crucial areas of wellness to focus on for next 30 days: EVALUATE YOUR BODY What do you see when you look in the mirror? Do you see the result of decades of societal conditioning telling you this part is too big, this part is too small, and this part is too round? It is time to flip that script. For the next 30 days write down one thing that you appreciate and are grateful for about any part of your body.
AFFIRMATION OF GRATITUDE: Today I am grateful for my ( body part part helps you ).
) and how it helps me to ( how
ELVALUATE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD We need to eat to live. On its face this is a simple statement, however, disordered eating, deeply rooted habits, and hang-ups around food run rampant in our culture. That is why it is so important to sit down and take an honest look at your relationship to food. Ask yourself the following:
What are your thoughts and actions in relation to food? Do you place morality (Good vs Bad) on food? Do you feel guilt and/or shame after eating certain foods? Do you take time to savor each meal? Do you eat in car, while watching TV in a distracting environment? Do you see food as an enemy? A friend? A comforter?
For the next 30 days write down your emotions before and after at least one meal daily. AFFIRMATION OF GRATITUDE: Today I am grateful for this food that nourishes my body and fuels my mind.
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EVALUATE YOUR ACTIVITY LEVEL Our bodies were made to move. The benefits of movement to our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health are undeniable. The key is to have balance in this area. Too much or not enough movement is found to have a negative impact on health. The BEST form of movement is one that you find enjoyable, is balanced and safe for YOU. Ask yourself the following:
LIVING
What is your current level of activity? Do you enjoy moving your body? Why or Why not? Do you push yourself to the point of pain and/or injury? What emotions does the word “Exercise” bring up for you? If you miss a day of exercise, do you “make it up” with a double workout the next day?
For the next 30 days keep track of your activity level. Write down how you feel before/after a session of movement. Also write down how you are feeling on the days you are not active.
HEALTHY
Delisa Richardson
AFFIRMATION OF GRATITUDE: Today I am grateful for the many ways I can move my body. I am thankful for ( type of movement ) and how it makes me feel. After you have completed this activity you should have greater self-awareness in these areas. Greater selfawareness is the ultimate roadmap to living a life of balance and wellness. Activities such as goal setting will come much easier once you are firmly grounded in these areas. Remember, health and wellness are a continuous lifelong journey. Take your time, give yourself grace, and always be kind to yourself.
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SPOTLIGHT
Covid-19 took 2020 by storm. We here at VOSAS Magazine, would like to take a moment and recognize all of our frontline workers who have been risking their health to selflessly take care of others. This has been one hell of a year, and in spite of the pandemic that has aggressively taken the lives of over 300,000 Americans, and millions around the world, the strength of the healthcare workers, and other frontline heroes cannot go unnoticed. You’ll know the truth of a person’s character in the face of tragedy. If you are reading this and are one of the frontline heroes, we cannot thank you enough. To those in the healthcare industry caring for patients suffering from Covid-19, and being the last person seen by those that have succumbed to this awful virus, your courage is commendable. It is imperative to give honor where honor is due, and in this magazine issue, we honor you! THANK YOU! 18
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