Dealing with loss
and bereavement during COVID-19
. . . o t t n a t r I t ’s i m p o
t i t u o b a Talk This guide is to be used alongside the practical guidance about the death of a person we support or team member in relation to bereavement and loss during the COVID-19 pandemic. There are resources outlined on the Hive wellbeing community which might help you cope with some of the feelings that you may be experiencing as a result of living with loss and bereavement at this time.
Click here to view
It is important to remember that grief whilst working in care and support during the pandemic may become overwhelming – you may be exposed to a series of losses in a short period of time. For example, this may be the deaths of one or more people we support or colleagues in quick succession, in addition to the more generalised experience of feeling bereft and disorientated in response to the impact of the pandemic as a whole. Finding ways to acknowledge such losses can help process them and prevent any of us from becoming emotionally overburdened in the long run.
elp Ways to h ge acknowled losses
at you Talk to someone th trust End of shift debriefs Writing out your experience
Six minute journalling is a way you can write out your day or experience of loss with a ‘stream of consciousness’. Instead of over-thinking, this is writing out your thoughts and feelings as well as what has happened and its impact on you. It is important that you do not judge or criticise yourself – the inner response of ‘should’ or ‘ought’ is an indication of this – but perhaps notice what you have written and how you feel about it. It may simply be enough to have journalled, but you may want to ask yourself – ‘So what? I wonder what action I might need to take that is selfcompassionate’. This might involve exercise, doing something you enjoy and which is self-nurturing, or talking to a trusted other.
If any of us experience the death of someone significant in our lives during the pandemic, for example a family member, friend, colleague or neighbour, this will be made all the harder by the imposed social restrictions. It will be difficult to mark the life and death of important people in our lives in the usual ways - through planning and being part of funerals and gatherings of family and friends. At this time we may have to find alternative rituals to help us acknowledge and process our grief. Here are some examples...
1
Writing a letter to the deceased – giving ourselves permission to say the things we feel we need to say, not just what we feel we ought to say.
2
Creating a memory box – putting things we associate with those we’ve lost into a box, and when we feel like it opening the box and taking time to reminisce on our own or with others.
3
Virtual gatherings – using online communication channels to share memories, perhaps with the aid of photographs, about the deceased.
4
Set up an online tribute or memorial - click here for some examples
5
Lighting a candle and spending some time reminiscing about the person who has died.
A time to remember You might find it helpful to arrange a short, quiet, reflective time on a regular basis to remember those who have died and those who are grieving during the COVID-19 pandemic. Whilst it may not be possible to have visitors at this time you could use digital communications tools (such as Skype / WhatsApp) to enable people to participate in remembrance times, even if not able to visit. At an appropriate time we will be sharing further resources to enable services to commemorate people we support and staff who have passed away in the pandemic. Memorial services and gatherings to mark the death and celebrate the life of significant others can be planned for once the pandemic subsides.
Helping the people we support understand and manage their loss
The people we support may also be experiencing grief where they have lost loved ones/ people important to them, including housemates or carers, during the COVID-19 pandemic. Resources to support you with helping the people we support understand and manage their loss are available on Hive.
Help is available,,, If your feelings are overwhelming, you are continually exhausted or you notice that you feel disconnected from your caring role and others, there are lots of support options available. You can talk to your manager, visit V-Assure, our free and confidential 24/7 helpline or take a look at our Hive wellbeing community. There are also some external helplines charities that can help... Cruse - a free bereavement helpline with specific COVID-19 related resources. Find your local branch and contact information here. Cruse also have a specific website for those based in Scotland which you can view here and for Wales, click here to take a look. The National Bereavement Partnership - a service for all those suffering from anxiety or grief, directly or indirectly, as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic. Click here to visit their website.