1201: In the Trenches

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ISSUE: 1201 • NOV 1 – NOV 7, 2018

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MASSAGE ON WHEELS

Massago Launches in Edmonton, Offering Massages in Your Home, Office, or Hotel

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ummoning a ride or a meal with an app has become common place, but Edmontonians can now also summon a masseuse. The Massago app— owned by Ontario’s Sanctuary Day Spas—launched in Edmonton on Monday, and allows its users to book an appointment with a registered massage therapist (RMT) with a few taps.

The main difference between Massago and, say, Uber is that you need to book at least a few hours in advance, but the service is still delivered to you, be it at your home, office, or hotel.

Naturally, when it comes to undressing and having some stranger rub their hands all over you, there are some safety concerns—for both parties—

“What that entails is, before they can go ahead and book their first massage, they have to verify that they are who they say they are,” Skok explains. “So we use a third-party tool that’s fully encrypted, and we ask for the customer’s government-issued ID— so whether it’s a driver’s license or a passport—and they have to take a selfie, and then this software determines that that person is who they say they are.”

RMTs also check in and out of appointments with a call centre.

Skok explains that if they don’t check out, then the call centre responds. In the event that there is any kind of negative experience, clients are able to report problems to Massago’s customer service.

Get a Massago massage you nerd. / Supplied

I was asked in advance to provide two clean towels, two clean sheets, and a pillow case.

Clough explained that most RMTs do in fact carry their own backups, but the point is to avoid any issues with allergens.

Should you end up ripping the sheets off your bed, Clough says that’s fine. Personally I was happy to have cleaned my sheets and pillowcase the night before using some scent beads, as the pillowcase was used to cover the headrest my face was buried in through most of the massage.

Unlike at a spa, you have the option to customize your environment here. So you can choose your own music—make sure to pick a playlist that lasts as long as your massage—and whether

“So we use a third-party tool that’s fully encrypted, and we ask for the customer’s government-issued ID—so whether it’s a driver’s license or a passport—and they have to take a selfie, and then this software determines that that person is who they say they are.” but Allan Skok, CEO and cofounder of Massago, assures users that there are multiple levels of security to protect both the company’s clients and its employees. Also, though new to Alberta, Massago has been operating for about two and a half years.

Skok says that to ensure client safety, Massago meets with all of its potential hires in person.

They have to pass a practical exam, provide three references and a police background check, and provide proof of at least 2,200 hours of training and membership to one of Alberta’s four recognized massage associations. (Alberta does not have a college of massage therapists like Ontario or B.C.) To protect its RMTs, Massago requires clients to go through a one-time vetting process.

Skok says the beauty of working with RMTs is that they’re trained on how to handle negative experiences with clients. If they feel uncomfortable, they are to end the massage and call to report the incident.

Amanda Clough was the RMT who came to my apartment. Clough was specifically tasked with giving media massages before Massago’s launch and my appointment was booked through a PR rep—so it’s not quite the full experience, but I still have some advice to impart.

I was provided with Clough’s ID image so I knew what she would look like, but the disadvantage of booking outside the app is that I was never asked about parking.

The app does ask you to give directions on this, and you should be as descriptive as you can to save your RMT any hassle.

or not you’d like to burn candles, etc. But you should have all that set up ahead of time to save your RMT waiting on you.

Once everything is set up, your RMT will excuse themselves to your washroom so you can undress. You then call them back once you’re ready and the massage begins. Clough was extremely professional, and the massage compared well with the few others I’ve had.

Before leaving, Clough gave instructions about how my body would likely react to the massage and reminded me to stay hydrated and take a bath with some epsom salts.

I was left relaxed and ready to enjoy the rest of my Saturday, with no worries about getting home through traffic.

Chelsea Novak chelsea@vueweekly.com

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Political Interference

Canada, Alberta, Live in a Dutch Oven A

European Court Case Could Have Lasting Impacts on How the Rest of the World Handles Climate Change

lthough few Albertans noticed, the Dutch Court of Appeals in The Hague reached a decision on Oct. 9 that has the potential to have significant impacts on climate policies around the world, including in Alberta and Canada.

The decision by the appeals court was to uphold a historic legal order from 2015 that would force the Dutch government to increase significantly the scope and pace of its emissions cuts. The case was brought as a type of class-action suit by Dutch foundation Urgenda and 886 citizen co-litigants. Its core premise was that, by not moving quickly enough to cut emissions, the state was polluting to an extent that it would impact other states, and that it was violating the precautionary principle, which prohibits actions that carry unknown but potentially severe risks to its safety, well-being and rights of its citizens. Both of those are concepts that are firmly entrenched in the European Union and that carry significant legal weight.

The Dutch government has been basing its climate policies around a target of reducing emissions by 17 percent against 1990 levels by the year 2020. The appeal court ruled that wasn’t enough, and ordered the government to reduce emissions by 25 percent over the same

period, essentially doubling the emissions reductions the Netherlands has already made since 1990 in just one year.

The decision of the Appeal Court came down just one day after the release of the latest report from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) detailing the devastating impacts the world will soon begin seeing from climate change within the next 12 years unless we move now to

would be ineffective since other states would be under no similar compulsion to reduce their emissions. “Any postponement of emissions reductions exacerbates the risks of climate change. The Dutch government cannot hide behind other countries’ emissions. It has an independent duty to reduce emissions from its own territory,” was the response of one of the judges to that argument by the state.

As expected, activists around the

emissions by 30 percent against 2005 levels by 2030. However, the most recent reporting from the federal government shows that we will not come anywhere close to that level of reduction, and that for the most part we are actually continuing to move in the wrong direction. For its part, the Government of Alberta has refused to set any emissions reduction targets, and has recently stated that it will not participate in

“The timing of the IPCC report was such that the Dutch judges would not have had a chance to integrate its dire warnings and predictions into their decision, or they likely would have been even more adamant and forceful in their language.” cut global emissions by some 45 percent by 2030. The timing of the IPCC report was such that the Dutch judges would not have had a chance to integrate its dire warnings and predictions into their decision, or they likely would have been even more adamant and forceful in their language.

One of the state’s arguments that was soundly rejected by the appeal court was that ordering the government to further reduce emissions

world have taken energy and motivation from the Dutch case, and similar cases are in the process of being filed in places around the world including New Zealand, Norway, the UK, Uganda, and a handful of American states. That trend is one that governments in Canada should be watching closely.

Canada enthusiastically endorsed the Paris Climate Agreement, and committed to cutting its

the federal climate plan, ultimately signaling the death of that plan.

Although Alberta has now set a cap of 100 MT on emissions from the oilsands, that cap reflects an increase of over 40 percent from today’s oil sands emissions.

The reality is that, despite some improvement in climate policies in the last three years, and despite lovely rhetoric about fighting climate changes, the governments of Canada, Alberta, and pretty

much every other province, would be incredibly likely to lose if someone were to bring this kind of legal action against them. Not only have the governments of Canada and Alberta failed to reduce national and provincial emissions in any way whatsoever, they have spent the last two years actively promoting and investing in the expansion of an industry that will actually increase our emissions. If the likes of Jason Kenney and/or Andrew Scheer get elected and make good on their promises of actively reversing what little progress has been made, everything will take a few steps backward.

Legally speaking, the Supreme Court of Canada has shown itself to be quite willing to use the precautionary principle in its past deliberations around pollution and public endangerment. Certainly this would not bode well for governments that continue to argue that the only way to reduce emissions is by expanding fossil fuel production. It seems the only question that remains is how many forest fires, floods, and devastating blizzards it will take before Albertans and Canadians follow the Dutch lead and organize to sue their government into action.

Ricardo Acuña

Dyer Straight

More Dark Days in the Middle East

Saudi Arabia’s List of Enemies Grows Longer as Its Campaigns Continue and as It Kills Journalists

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hile Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman (MbS) frantically tries to scrub Jamal Khashoggi’s blood off his hands like a Middle Eastern Lady Macbeth—“Here’s the smell of blood still. Not all the sweet perfumes of Arabia will sweeten this hand”—could we have a word about his war in Yemen too?

In the Saudi consulate in Istanbul two weeks ago, the crown prince’s henchmen murdered one high-profile critic of his rule. In Yemen, on Saudi Arabia’s Southern border, his air force and those of his allies have been killing around a hundred men, women and children a week for more than three years now. To little avail, it must be said, but the futility of MbS’s bombing campaign does not excuse it.

When the war in Yemen is discussed in the Western media, two phrases recur constantly.

One is the “internationally recognized president,” a phrase meant to suggest that the man in question, Abdrabbuh Mansour Hadi, is somehow the legitimate—and even the democratically elected 4 front

leader of the country.

Hadi has been living in exile in Saudi Arabia for the past three years, with only occasional brief visits to the sliver of territory in Southern Yemen still controlled by his supporters.

He is currently in the United States for medical treatment.

The other misleading phrase is the “Iranian-backed Houthi rebels,” a formulation meant to suggest that the Houthis, who have controlled most of Yemen for the past three years, are mere pawns of the evil Iranians.

‘Iranian-backed’ is also meant to suggest that the Houthi rebels are actually being supplied with weapons by Iran, an allegation that is used by Arab countries beholden to Saudi Arabia and by MbS’s American and European arms suppliers to justify their support for his war on Yemen. Both phrases are deliberately misleading.

Abdrabbuh Mansour Hadi came to power in Yemen in 2012, when the ‘Arab Spring’ revolt that overthrew long-ruling dictator Ali Abdullah Saleh was threatening to topple into civil war. Saleh had always resisted

Saudi Arabia’s attempts to control its far poorer Yemeni neighbour, and the Saudis exploited his fall to put their own man, Hadi, into power.

Hadi was ‘elected’ president in 2012, in a vote where nobody else ran, to serve a two-year transitional term while the country sorted out a new constitution. He was effectively overthrown by Houthi tribal militia in 2014, partly because he was a Saudi puppet but mainly because he supported a Saudi scheme to create a federal system that would impoverish the Houthis.

The Northern highlands where the Houthis live are the poorest of all Yemen’s regions, but the proposed federal system would have reserved the country’s dwindling oil revenues for the sparsely populated Southwestern provinces where the oil actually is.

Were the Saudis deliberately trying to hurt the Houthis, who are Shia and therefore not trusted by Riyadh? That’s certainly how the Houthis saw it— so they rebelled. It had nothing to do with the Iranians.

Saudi Arabia’s war in Yemen

is really about putting its own place-man, Hadi, back into power. He is ‘internationally recognized’ (although his mandate ran out four years ago), but that’s no great accomplishment.

Even Saddam Hussein was ‘internationally recognized’.

Iran certainly approves of the Houthi revolt, partly because the Houthis are fellow Shias but mainly because they overthrew a Saudi puppet president. But there is no reason to believe that Iran actively encouraged the revolt—the Houthis understand their own interests quite well—and absolutely no evidence that it has supplied the Houthis with weapons.

It’s just not necessary: Yemen is flooded with weapons, and always has been. Besides, there is no way for Iran to get weapons and supplies in to the Houthis.

Yemen is a thousand kilometres from Iran, with Saudi Arabia and its Arab allies in between.

Saudi Arabia and its allies control the seas around Yemen and the airspace over it. The whole idea is nonsense.

The Saudis make a great fuss about the missiles that the

VUEWEEKLY.com | nov 1 - nov 7, 2018

Houthis occasionally launch at Saudi Arabian targets, in a pathetic retaliation for the intense Saudi air attacks they live under every day. Riyadh claims that the missiles must be Iranian, because the Yemenis are too primitive to handle that technology.

This is more nonsense. The missiles are just upgraded Scuds, a 1950s Soviet design that was sold to half the countries in the Third World. The Yemeni armed forces had them, the Houthis captured them, and Yemeni technicians are perfectly capable of extending their range to reach Riyadh and other Saudi cities. But they have not managed to make them accurate at those ranges: they rarely hit anything.

The Houthis are not an admirable lot, but they are just fighting their corner. There are no Iranians in sight, but Saudi stories about them win American support for MbS’s war. And the Western media almost never question these much bigger lies, although they are having a collective meltdown over the murder of Jamal Khashoggi.

Gwynne Dyer

EDUCATION

Grass on grass. / File Photo

POT PERFORMANCE AND POST-SECONDARY Cannabis Isn’t Great for Most Classes, but for Some of Them, It Can Be Straight-up Dangerous

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here’s a well-worn image of the post-secondary student hitting up their campus pub, tying a few on, then trying to seem like they’re sober while sitting in a class who can totally smell the booze emanating off him or her. A somewhat less well-worn image is a student running to some secluded corner to spark a marihuana cigarette before heading to class and hoping that no one notices the aroma of skunk or how red his or her eyes are.

Now that cannabis is legal, students don’t need to pretend to be sober from the latter substance as much, but most post-secondary schools still recommend students steer clear of the jazz cabbage prior to cracking books. The University of Alberta didn’t much want to comment on this (despite having the most smoke-friendly campus in Edmonton), and MacEwan’s formal stance is pretty vague.

In an Oct. 15 article on the school’s news portal, Michelle Plouffe, vicepresident and general counsel at the university wrote: “MacEwan doesn’t have a standalone policy regarding cannabis use, and there is no plan to introduce one. Generally, use of cannabis will follow municipal, provincial and federal law, with certain exceptions and considerations being handled through existing policies.”

This patchwork approach, rather, has the school look at cannabis and impairment through cannabis through other policy lenses. For example, it’s OK to smoke the reefer in pre-existing smoking zones.

MacEwan takes no particular stance on cannabis, the article says. Rather, it just wants students to succeed.

NAIT is a bit of a different story, especially since a good deal of its courses require the use of heavy and/or dangerous equipment, and out of Edmonton’s three main postsecondary schools, it is the least welcoming to smokers of any sort.

“Because there’s no test for intoxication, like there is with alcohol, it’s very difficult to say on the spot if someone is truly impaired or not,” says Tanya Spencer, a member of NAIT’s student counselling office. “Many of [our policies] cover many kinds of impairment, whether this be alcohol, drugs, fatigue, excessive personal problems … Rather than trying to figure out which of those is at issue, it’s more of a ‘are you safe to be here or not?’”

Electrician training is a good example of a program whose courses should not be attended stoned (or otherwise impaired), Spencer says.

MacEwan University takes a similar stance in this regard, though it lacks many of NAIT’s more dangerous courses. The school “[understands] that impairment can be caused by many factors, including legal or illegal substances, fatigue or illness,” the release says.

According to Spencer, there are policies in place by which a student who seems unfit to perform in a class, or is disruptive in it, can be removed. However, she adds, there is a bit of a human element to the decision-making process.

“Honestly, when you look at studies and people … I can’t name anything people do better on marijuana,” she says. “It’s been interesting to watch the marketing on it. There are circumstances where, medicinally, it might be helpful.”

Spencer also suggests that statedependent memory is a pretty dubious concept, one it’s best not to act upon. State-dependent memory is the theory that, if a person is impaired on a substance, they will be better able to recall pieces of information they learned while on the substance if they take the substance again.

“Sometimes, they detect a slight effect,” she says. “Very few [substances] will make a better student.”

Substance use on any campus is hardly a rare phenomenon. From recreational drugs like alcohol and cannabis to study drugs like adderall, students have a, perhaps, more intimate relationship with substances than other demographics. That said, overuse of alcohol and cannabis is only around 15 to 20 percent, Spencer says, adding that this perception of party animal students is a bit off.

“One of the trends we’re seeing

here: We’re seeing a lot of students coming out of Fort Mac and a lot of other work-camp environments. We have a high proportion of students who have already been out in the work world,” Spencer says. “When the companies started drug-testing, roughly five or 10 years ago, a lot of people actually switched to cocaine …

Because marijuana is detectable for such a long time, they quit smoking weed and started snorting coke because it’s not detectable for nearly as long.”

Doug Johnson doug@vueweekly.com

Enter for your chance to win an educational award of $5,000

November 3, 2018 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.

City Centre Campus

Even the more desk-ridden courses are best attended sober, Spencer says. Stoners, and now cannabis growers themselves, greatly exaggerate the creative benefits of the substance, she adds.

VUEWEEKLY.com | NOV 1 - NOV 7, 2018

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BEER

Blind Enthusiasm Beer Needs Very Specific Conditions in Order to Be Made

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eer geek-oids at Blind Enthusiasm live up to their name. The brewery, which is based in the Ritchie neighbourhood, has gusto for trying out new and odd beer-making techniques. This could, perhaps, be best exemplified by its DEB Wet Hop Ale. Wet Hop Ale, as its name implies, uses freshly picked hops to add flavour. The resulting brew, the business says, has a “delicious crisp, bitter mineral finish, underpinned by herbal and orange marmalade hop notes.”

It uses, specifically, East Kent Goldings hops, a genus found in England, but imported into and grown in Alberta, at a farm only around an hour away from the brewery. Most hops are harvested near the end of the summer.

“The real challenge is there’s a transition between when the hop is picked. You have a really small window, about 24 hours to actually get it into the beer,” says Blind Enthusiasm’s founder Greg Zeschuk. “[Head brewer Rob Monk] is down at the farm saying ‘Greg you have to get down here right away.’ We have a small window. It’s almost like a sequencing issue.”

Beers like the DEB Wet Hop Ale exist in other parts of the world, usually where there are hop farms. However, according to Zeschuk, there are other places without that easy access to fresh hops where breweries fly them in the day of. It’s a bit of a rush.

“You go beyond 24 hours, and you lose freshness and the beer isn’t nearly as good,” Zeschuk says.

According to Monk, any vari-

Fresh hops, straight from the ground. / Blind Enthusiasm

etal of hops can be used (they all dry out just as fast). What makes the DEB Wet Hop Ale special, he says, is the volume of the hops that the brewery uses.

“To put it in perspective, we’ll often use four or five kilograms [in our beers]. For this, because of the stops that we use, we use 60 kilos to achieve it,” Monk says.

“It actually all worked out” this year, Zeschuk says. The brewery was happy to discover that the varietal of hop they wanted to use was grown by Northen Girls Hopyard, to the Northwest of Edmonton. Some types of hop are grown only in certain regions of the world.

The bulk of the hops in Canada come from Quebec or B.C., though some people are trying to grow them in Alberta. Most of Blind Enthusiasm’s hops come from outside the province, and are generally dried and processed.

“Making this beer the way we did, it’s—for lack of a better word—a volatile process,” Monk says. “[The beer] has a wet, green flavour from the hops.

This batch … it’s very bold.”

Considering the small margin for error in the process, that Blind Enthusiasm can even make the beer is like “the stars aligning in many different ways,” the brewery’s founder says.

Monk hopes that wet hop ales become more popular, and beer enthusiasts begin to look forward to Autumn specifically for the highly seasonal beverage.

Doug Johnson doug@vueweekly.com

KITCHEN TIPS These Funghi Brushchetta Bites Make You A Fun Guy Mushroom bruschetta • 4 cups of assorted sliced mushrooms of your choice (white, cremini, portobello, shiitake, oyster, beech, chanterelle, maitake, enoki, etc.)

• 1/2 cup finely chopped onions • 1 clove of minced garlic • 1 cup of heavy cream • Kosher salt (to taste) • Pinch of freshly cracked black pepper • 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil • 2 tbsp butter

6 dish

• 1 tbsp each flat leaf parsley and thyme. Both fresh and chopped • Aged balsamic glaze (optional) • White truffle oil to drizzle (optional) • 1 large French baguette sliced thick Heat up a heavy bottomed pan, then add butter and oil. Add chopped onion and garlic. Sauté until softened.

Add mushrooms and cook on high flame; sprinkle salt and cook until brown.

Add cream and cook until the consistency you are look-

VUEWEEKLY.com | NOV 1 - NOV 7, 2018

ing for: almost dry but moist and creamy to touch is ideal.

Sprinkle pepper and thyme, and mix.

In the meantime, spread sliced baguette on a tray and put in oven for 4 to 5 minutes. Simply heat up or make slightly crispy to your preference. Arrange on a warm platter and portion warm mushroom mixture on top of each crustini. Sprinkle chopped parsley. For an extra kick, sparsely drizzle with balsamic glaze and white truffle oil.

It goes great with any kind of wine.

—Mike Bhatnagar, owner of The Hat On Jasper

SENIORS

Shots shots shots shots shots shots (everybody). / Adobe Stock

NEW RULES LET SENIORS GET LIT S

Province of Alberta Legislation Allows Elderly People to Imbibe in Residences with Fewer Restrictions

enior citizens now have more opportunities to get turnt in lodges, but the owners and operators of the facilities are unsure as to how this increased access to booze will go over. Last week, the Government of Alberta released a series of changes to how restaurants, bars, hotels, and seniors residences will function when it comes to alcohol going forward.

The changes allow businesses to open ferment-on-premises, licensed facilities where residents can make their own beer or wine and take it home. It also allows theatre-goers and performers to drink alcohol past final curtain in the licensed areas of the venues.

“Alberta’s liquor laws have been updated to keep pace with the evolution of today’s liquor industry. We listened to Albertans and implemented new policies to reflect the growing trends among home brewers and bartenders, as well as creating opportunity for small Alberta businesses,” the press release says.

Seniors lodges can now, also, allow residents to consume their own booze in common rooms, a move that Irene Martin-Lindsay, executive director of Alberta Seniors Communities and Housing Association (ASCHA), has some thoughts about.

“There was no consultation with providers. This was just sort of announced. Time will tell us how we really feel about it,” she says. “The

fundamental piece of this is that it will still be up to the provider to decide what policy will work best.”

The previous rules required residents and owners of these lodges to apply for and purchase a liquor license in order to host events in the lodges where alcohol is available. The nice thing about this new legislation, Martin-Lindsay says, is that people can now celebrate with their families with ease. It also allows seniors to share their personal alcohol with others, which was barred until now.

“But I’m not sure how this will impact the whole setting,” she says. “We know it’s time for seniors to have choice and not be overregulated in their own homes. We just need to be cognizant that it respects everyone who lives in the buildings … We really try to advocate that seniors shouldn’t be policed like kids.”

“They don’t drink a whole lot,” he says. “It may change over time. The population is aging.

Maybe people who are 10, 15 years younger will have a different view. I think it’s going to evolve just like everything else.”

Residents in seniors lodges are reasonably independent, Swonek says. Some require mobility aides, but around 10

percent of them can still drive.

In all, he adds, it’s not hard for residents to get liquor.

According to communications officer Lynden McBeth, the Alberta Gaming and Liquor Commission (one of the agencies involved in the ruling) began polling people about the recent change in October of 2017.

“Seniors in these residences

According to Martin-Lindsay, members drinking in their rooms (allowed both before and after the new rules) happens with some frequency, and most likely at every seniors building in the province. Certainly, it’s more common in seniors buildings where the residents are more independent, she adds, but it still varies a good bit.

Raymond Swonek, CEO of GEF Seniors Housing, though, says that people, by the time they become seniors, aren’t terribly interested in drinking alcohol.

VUEWEEKLY.com | NOV 1 - NOV 7, 2018

could only consume alcohol in their rooms,” he says.

The AGLC currently has no plans to do a follow-up consultation on the matter, but according to McBeth the agency does frequently monitor its efforts for effectiveness.

“We do take submissions from the general public,” he says.

Doug Johnson doug@vueweekly.com

seasonal beer season!

dish 7

Redpatch highlights the unique perspectives of the 4,000 Indigenous men who enlisted in the Canadian forces during the First World War. / Supplied

THEATRE OF WAR

Redpatch Thrusts the Métis War Volunteer Experience into the Spotlight

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o sooth the frustration of British officers—unable to tell Canadian troops apart from the Aussies and other colonial armies wearing identical uniforms in the First World War— members of the first Canadian infantry division to arrive in France were given red patches to wear on their left shoulder.

One century later, that symbol of Canadian identity inspired the title of cowriters Raes Calvert and Sean Harris Oliver’s new play Redpatch. Calvert had just watched Oliver perform in a production of Vern Thiessen’s First World War play Vimy in 2011 when the pair started writing.

Calvert also performs as Redpatch’s protagonist, whose Métis name roughly translates into English as ‘half blood,’ but the man takes the name ‘Jonathan Woodrow’ when he enlists. To better understand the mindset of a character like Woodrow while they were writing the play, Oliver and Calvert researched what they could from libraries, before eventually trekking out to Calvert’s ancestral lands on Nootka Island, B.C. for some hands-on research.

“That trip was really more 8 arts

about understanding where the character came from and what sort of surroundings our main character grew up in,” Oliver says. “You can’t use the internet for that type of research.”

The trip also helped them understand how long it would have taken their protagonist to travel to Vancouver to enlist, before taking a train across Canada

sort of demands that the audience get acclimatized to the idea that we’re moving through time … and I think that audiences will enjoy that challenge.”

One moment, Woodrow may hunker down in a French trench before being pulled back in time to his days playing around Vancouver Island as a child.

“We really don’t shy away from it. We get into those battles, but we had to figure out a way to do them theatrically that wouldn’t make the audience feel like they couldn’t be involved,” Oliver says.

He says the Citadel’s Maclab Theatre stage will help achieve that vision.

“We’ve always done the play in a proscenium staging,” Oliver

“We describe in stage notes that the play is a blend of visions, premonitions, and memories, and we make these switches in the blink of an eye.” and eventually shipping out to France. With Woodrow’s itinerary set, Calvert as the lead, and Oliver directing the cast, they decided to tell Redpatch’s story as a nonlinear tale spanning 12 years.

“We describe in stage notes that the play is a blend of visions, premonitions, and memories, and we make these switches in the blink of an eye. It’s very quick,” Oliver says. “The play

Similarly in Thiessen’s Vimy, audiences experience scenes through the memories of soldiers in a field hospital.

“I saw all the ways that Vern sort of allows you to step away from being in all the action,” Oliver says of his time on the Firehall Arts Centre production.

With Redpatch, however, he and Calvert wanted to get closer to the action.

says. “Being on the thrust in the Maclab is going to offer Edmonton audiences something that no other audiences have ever experienced before.”

He adds, “We definitely get into trench combat and experiences in no man’s land and gas attacks—we are right inside the creeping barrage—so we always wanted the audience to feel like they were a part of

VUEWEEKLY.com | NOV 1 - NOV 7, 2018

Thu., Nov. 1 – Sun., Nov. 11 Redpatch The Citadel Theatre For tickets and showtimes, visit citadeltheatre. com/2018-2019/redpatch the action and that they were inside the trenches with the soldiers, and that thrust configuration really lends itself to that goal.”

And amidst the action, Oliver says Redpatch highlights the unique perspective of the 4,000 Indigenous men that enlisted in the Canadian forces during The Great War. “What was the reason why Indigenous people would have signed up to fight a war that maybe wasn’t their war, or what they perceived as not being their war?” he asks. “We really explore the psychological forces which led them to volunteer in such high numbers … I think that we do a good job of communicating the reasons why men enlisted and chose to fight for Canada.”

Kevin Pennyfeather

SHORT FICTION

Paige Cooper is originally from Canmore and is

ALBERTA-BORN AUTHOR MIXES THE LITERARY WITH THE FANTASTIC

making a name for herself in Canadian literature. / Adam Michiels

Paige Cooper Ignites the Imagination, and Awards Lists, with Her First Book, Zoltitude

A

lberta-born author Paige Cooper is a writer to watch. She published her first book earlier this year and it has been racking up the accolades. Zoltitude, a collection of short stories, was long listed for the Giller Prize, and was a finalist for the Governor General’s Literary Award for Fiction. Her stories offer literary fiction with fantastic twists, like time-travelling nine-year-olds, domesticated dinosaurs, and dinner parties on Mars. As well-developed as Cooper’s voice is, it took her a little time to find it.

Cooper grew up in Canmore, where she stayed until she moved to Vancouver to attend the University of British Columbia in 2002. There she took English literature and creative writing, which included creative writing workshops. It was in one such class that she was discouraged by a classmate, which led her to give up writing for five years. But she stresses that her experience at UBC was also very positive.

“Workshops are wonderful because you receive more attention

ously, and to begin writing what I wanted to read.”

Poetry has also influenced Cooper’s work, and while she says she can’t write it, she thinks that reading poetry is necessary so that a writer can learn to pay attention to lines and sentences.

She says she’s also picked up techniques of defamiliarization—ways she can alienate the reader within the story so that they’re forced to slow down and think about what they’re reading. As you might guess, Cooper’s work does not make for light reading, but it does take the reader on a journey that’s less about the narrative, and more about character and ambiance.

Cooper started writing again in 2010, and began working on the stories in Zoltitude in 2012. She says she was living in Calgary and working as a librarian when she “had to explode [her] life” to begin writing more intensively. She now lives in Montreal, where, in addition to her creative writing, she does freelance writing and editing.

lacking in empathy or awareness. She blamed survivors and advocates for being liars at worst, ideological at best, when

“I definitely went through a long period of time thinking that I had to write kind of domestic or idea-based Canadian literature, where I knew the scientific names of all the trees …” to the sentence of your work than at any other point in your career,” she says. “So I still do workshop kind of things with my writing group, because it is so important and beneficial—but I guess the bigger thing that happened at UBC was that I started actually reading literature.”

Growing up, Cooper says she “naturally gravitate[d] toward anything with a dragon on the cover,” which may account for some of the more fantastical beasts in her work—like the giant roc (look it up) in her story “Moriah,” about a group of sex offenders squatting in old miners’ cottages.

“I definitely went through a long period of time thinking that I had to write kind of domestic or ideabased Canadian literature, where I knew the scientific names of all the trees, and was kind of like writing what you know, as the saying goes,” Cooper says. “So learning that I could actually pay attention to my imagination and what attracts me imaginatively, actually freed me up to begin writing seri-

In an interview with Open Book, one of Cooper’s responses to the question “Who are some of the most memorable characters you’ve come across as a reader?” was “Margaret Atwood post#MeToo”—in reference to the CanLit dumpster fire that ignited after Atwood, along with other prominent Canadian authors, published a letter supporting former UBC professor Steven Galloway at, what critics of the UBC Accountable letter believe, was the expense of the students who had made accusations against him.

Asked how she feels about the probability that—as a successful, feminist, female Canadian author who writes literature with fantasy and sci-fi elements—she will eventually be compared to Atwood, Cooper responds: “I’d be fairly upset to be put in the same camp as her, either as a feminist or a writer, today.

Her stance on Galloway and the UBC Accountable letter relied on this false construction of feminism that was so obviously

actually what’s happened is that women and other victims have run out of options and have no choice but to speak. I honestly don’t get how she doesn’t see her own role in propping up our current dystopia.”

She continues, “Anyway—on a writing level, she’s just been so snobbish about speculative fiction. She’s stated very clearly that she doesn’t write genre fiction, even though she’s writing about mutant apocalypses. But if sci-fi was good enough for Octavia Butler and Ursula K Leguin, it’s good enough for me.”

As to her current success, Cooper is still in disbelief.

“It’s so unexpected, and you know that the awards culture is not exactly a meritocracy …

There are so many books that go kind of unnoticed, and fly under the radar, and it’s not because of quality, it’s just because … it’s an arbitrary thing, or a semiarbitrary thing,” she says.

Chelsea Novak chelsea@vueweekly.com

VUEWEEKLY.com | NOV 1 - NOV 7, 2018

VIS COS ITY 10330 84 AVE NW

arts 9

VISUAL ART

“Runaway Train.” / Craig Le Blanc

“Pendulum.” / Oksana Movchan

HERALDRY AND ICONOGRAPHY

New Brings Two Artists with Distinct Styles Together for an Exhibit Exploring Self-Reflection, Discovery, and Symbolism

Until Thu., Nov. 15 New The Front Gallery Free admission

T

wo unique artists delve into self-reflection, discovery, and symbolism in New, an exhibition at The Front Gallery organized by owner Rachel Bouchard. The artists are Craig Le Blanc and Oksana Movchan, and each explores these themes in their own way.

Le Blanc’s pieces in the show span 16 years of work, but a majority of them are from his last series of projects, which he created in 2016.

BOOK REVIEW

His older works are pieces tied to sports iconography, whereas his newer pieces are a series of shields or crests reminiscent of heraldry.

“It’s a bit of a cross-section that shows the two paths I’ve taken over the last couple decades,” Le Blanc says.

Le Blanc’s heraldry pieces are confessional in nature, and deal with issues of substance use and being out of control in a variety of ways.

For example, his piece “Bad Man” is a crest with the words “I am not a bad man but I am not good” written across it. Both his early and newer works are based around gender studies and what the male archetype is perceived as.

“In the end, a lot of the work is really about male vulnerability matched with the outward perception of us being big and strong, and fearless and impenetrable,” he says.

Le Blanc does make the point, however, that he has been doing this work for many years.

“This work started a couple decades ago. All of this work was done before the #MeToo movement or anything of the like,” he says. “I don’t want people thinking it’s reactionary or opportunistic based on the current dialogue.”

Movchan’s pieces, on the other hand, are very much influenced by

Russian and Ukrainian iconography.

Movchan grew up and studied in Ukraine before coming to Canada around 20 years ago, and her upbringing has been one of her biggest influences, even if it’s not overly explicit.

“Maybe you don’t see that much iconography—the influence of that—maybe it’s more layered or hidden meaning or message,” she says.

The pieces Movchan has on display in the gallery are quite different from her older works, with a much more modern slant to them.

Movchan admits that mixing Russian and Ukrainian iconography with a more modern look was a bit

jarring at first, but she decided to just go with it.

“It felt so strange. It’s two different, opposite influences,” Movchan says. “Even when I was verbalizing it to my friend—that’s what I want to do—it was even scaring me. How is it even possible? What’s going to happen? One cancels another. You have to just do it, you have no idea what the end result will be.”

Le Blanc and Bouchard originally had the idea for the show, but Le Blanc was looking for a second artist that would be a good fit. They decided to bring in Movchan.

“I know Craig personally,” Movchan says. “But it was even a surprise for me.”

Despite their differences in artistic styles, everyone involved thinks that the two artists’ pieces work well together.

“It works. I think it really works in some strange way,” Movchan says.

Alexander Sorochan

EDGAR’S WORST SUNDAY OFFERS A MIXED BAG

Brad Oates’ Novel of a Hedonist in Heaven Has Its Blessings and Sins

I

magine that you wake up tomorrow in heaven—all white, and golden, and pearly. All you have are the clothes that you normally wear.

No white robes. No wings. No halos.

The question: what is the first thing you check your pockets for? Cell phone? ID? Photos of loved ones?

When 32-year-old Edgar Vincent finds himself in this surreal situation, his decision is telling: he is “relieved to find his cigarettes in their customary place.” It is this tension (hedonist meets heaven, playboy meets St. Peter) that drives Brad Oates’s uneven novel Edgar’s Worst Sunday, a journey of remembering and not-alwayspleasant self-realizations.

Tipping the scale positively is the fact that Oates has obvious skills, which appear often enough and with sufficient fire to keep the narrative moving forward.

10 arts

His opening page, for instance, is beautifully crafted to flow down to a single line at the bottom of the page: “Still, none of that would ever compare to the day Edgar died.” And his control of the third-person narrative produces numerous rewards, as in the opening line of the chapter “The Internal Shit-Show”: “In life, Edgar Vincent had been a bastard. No one could really deny it. Few had ever tried.”

Less positive are the challenges that have always confronted writers of what is, at one level, a work of philosophical fiction. At times, Oates’s overfunctioned plot simply overwhelms the story, creating a cumbersome emphasis on a particular moment or idea rather than allowing that idea to show itself more naturally, more pleasingly.

VUEWEEKLY.com | NOV 1 - NOV 7, 2018

Edgar’s Worst Sunday Brad Oates Sands Press, 2018 156 pages Problematic, too, is Oates’s handling of dialogue. When Edgar talks to himself (musing, reflecting, thinking) he does so with an easy wit, charm, and an emerging selfawareness. But when thoughts are said allowed in conversation, they clang onto the page.

Mark Twain famously noted that we “go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” Oates is to be commended for taking on the challenge of Edgar and his heavenly journey. I just wish the company had been a bit better along the way.

Klay Dyer

INTERACTIVE DANCE

Digital Folk is an interdisciplinary, hybrid performance by plastic

VUEPICKS

orchid factory. / Supplied

Chelsea Novak chelsea@vueweekly.com “The ice is starting to melt.” / Peter Schostak

In the Making: Curtis Talwst Santiago // Fri., Nov. 2 (8:30 pm) In the Making is a CBC documentary series that follows eight Canadian artists of various disciplines. Born in Edmonton, Trinidadian-Canadian artist Curtis Talwst Santiago is a visual artist known for his Infinity Series, which consists of tiny worlds built in jewelry boxes. To learn more about Santiago, check out his episode of In the Making. (CBC, All episodes available at cbc.ca/watch)

Clue: A Burlesque Murder Mystery // Fri., Nov. 2 and Sat., Nov. 3 (7 pm) It’s back, and this year the mix of striptease, comedy, mystery, and a haunted mansion includes an immersive experience on Friday night “with extra performances and surprises”—sounds like the perfect way to wrap up your Halloween week. Performers include Julian Faid, Beau Creep, Jason Hardwick, Violette Coquette, Kiki Quinn, Rusty Kingfisher, Holly Von Sinn, and LeTabby Lexington.

(Freemasons Hall, Tickets start at $25)

Peter Schostak: Echoes from the Past // Sat., Nov. 3 – Thu., Nov. 15 (Opening reception Nov. 3, 1 – 4 pm) The West End Gallery presents over 20 original oil paintings from Canadian artist Peter Schostak. His work captures the Albertan landscape, its seasonal changes, and rural life on the prairies, both past and present. Schostak will be in attendance for the opening reception. (West End Gallery, Free admission)

TECH, GATHERING, AND DANCE COMBINE

Vancouver’s plastic orchid factory Brings Digital Folk to Edmonton

D

igital Folk is not just a dance performance; it’s a purposeful sensory overload.

The technology-inspired contemporary show was created by husband-wife duo James Gnam and Natalie LeFebvre-Gnam of plastic orchid factory, a Vancouver-based, artist-run, interdisciplinary organization. The show premiered in Vancouver over two years ago, but is debuting in Edmonton this November.

The performance is set up like a choose your own adventure video game with audience interaction. There’s live music, costumes, dance, and elaborate media production. The show is not an improv show though. It works through its own storyline inspired by Gnam and LeFebvreGnam’s younger siblings and their relationship to technology.

“Seeing these young people gathering in living rooms to play fake instruments and dance with avatars on screen was so absurd but also so interesting,” LeFebvre-Gnam says, referencing games like Rock Band and Dance Dance Revolution. “This was not a part of my reality as an adolescent or young adult.

There was something about how the technology was interacting or intercepting that was really interesting for James.”

Digital Folk was created to merge the two realities of tech-

nology and gathering, not necessarily to criticize technology or to praise it. LeFebvre-Gnam believes that regardless of how it’s done, social gathering is a necessity of human life and the show is a celebration of this.

“Technology in general has really changed how we gather to sing and to dance and to tell stories,” says LeFebvre-Gnam.

“These human things that we do innately have changed because of technology.”

Mile Zero Dance was the driving force behind bringing plastic orchid factory to Edmonton for the first time. The company was founded over 30 years ago and has changed over the decades to stay at the forefront of an evolving dance scene. Gerry Morita, artistic director of Mile Zero Dance, has been with the company in different roles for 12 years.

In Morita’s current role, she focuses on the company’s commitment to foster collaborative work. The studio space is meant to merge dance with other art forms, as often seen through their Dirt Buffet Cabaret series.

Digital Folk’s wild mix of media was a perfect match for Mile Zero Dance.

“I like the use of space,” says Morita. “The animation of space and the raw inclusiveness of it … It really felt similar to what

Viscosity: Black Gold, True Tales, Real Lives // Wed., Nov. 7 – Sat., Nov. 17 This is not your typical performance. For one, audience members are free to come anytime during the performance and stay for as long as they wish. Second, Viscosity is created from transcriptions of interviews with Albertan oil field workers in 2018, and combines journalism, performance, and an exhibition to challenge people’s perceptions of those who work in the oil industry. (Backstage Theatre, Tickets $20 for adults, $15 for students, seniors, and artists)

Thu., Nov. 8 and Fri., Nov. 9 (7 pm and 8 pm—7 pm audience encouraged to stay for 8 pm performance loop) Digital Folk Spazio Performativo Tickets: $15 for members $20 for non-members

we’re doing in Edmonton with Mile Zero’s space. When I’m booking out of town acts I’m looking for dance that I find really contemporary and engaging, and something that I feel has a vitality to share with the Edmonton dance community and regular audience.”

The plastic orchid factory itself was created with this notion of collaborative creation and named itself to reflect that.

‘Plastic’ represents malleability and ‘factory’ represents the creation, but the most important part is the ‘orchid.’

“Most interesting to us is that the flower only survives if it has a symbiotic relationship,” LeFebvre-Gnam explains. “We feel like live performance only works if it can be in conversation with other people.”

Tamanna Khurana

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arts 11 18-09-16 11:00 PM

LGBTQ2S+ FILM FESTIVAL

Rainbow Visions Offers a Great Lineup of Films for Its Fourth Annual Fest Thu., Nov. 1 – Sun., Nov. 4 Rainbow Visions Metro Cinema For tickets, passes, and the full schedule, visit rainbowvisions.ca

F

ive years ago, the directors of the Global Visions Festival Society—which puts on the annual NorthwestFest International Documentary & Media Arts Festival—realized that Edmonton didn’t have an LGBTQ2S+ film festival and decided to fill in the gap. Now in its fourth year, Rainbow Visions offers a strong selection of LGBTQ2S+ films, chosen both from submissions and from popular films that have played at other festivals.

“We want to make sure we have really good representation from the films that were submitted to us, and then the remaining films are from just reading what were some kind of more buzz-worthy titles at other festivals, [or] dealing with some of the distributors we deal with to find out what films they might have that we would be interested in,” explains Guy Lavallee, program coordinator and artistic director for the festival.

An example of the latter is The Happy Prince, a biopic about Oscar Wilde, which will open the second day of Rainbow Visions.

This year Global Visions is also collaborating with San Francisco’s Frameline Festival to present a 2K digital restoration of Arthur J. Bressan Jr.’s Buddies, which was first released in 1985.

“They reached out to us a few months ago because they pre-

miered this restoration of Buddies at Frameline this year, and I guess it was very well received,” Lavallee says.

Another highlight (besides those below) is British film Tucked. Directed by Jamie Patterson, the film follows an 80-year-old drag queen who forms an unlikely friendship with a younger queen. Lavallee says the movie hasn’t received much attention in North America, but says it’s “absolutely fantastic.”

Half the Picture Directed by Amy Adrion Sat., Nov. 3 (7 – 8:24 pm)  Numbers don’t lie and when it comes to female directors in Hollywood they aren’t telling a hopeful story. Over the past 10 years, top grossing films had a total of 1114 directors and only 45 were female, and as director Amy Adrion informs her audience—through interviews with experts—those numbers are not improving over time.

Half the Picture begins with Jessica Chastain’s comments at the 2017 Cannes Film Festival about how disturbed she was by the representation of women on screen.

Chastain hopes that including more female filmmakers will change the way women are represented, and this hope is echoed by many of the filmmakers interviewed in the documentary. The opening voiceover also mentions that “directors are overwhelmingly white, and overwhelmingly male,” but while Adrion interviews directors of colour, as

Man Made Directed by T Cooper Sun., Nov. 4 (2 – 3:33 pm)  Trans FitCon is the only all-trans bodybuilding competition in the world, and director T Cooper goes behind the scenes to follow four competitors as they prepare for competition. Cooper shares the challenges the young men face— focusing on their physical health, mental health, and relationships.

All of the men are participating in Trans FitCon for different reasons.

For instance, Mason Caminiti competes in mainstream bodybuilding competitions and follows a strict regiment, whereas for Cooper’s other subjects, it seems more about celebrating and taking pride in their bodies.

Cooper also isn’t afraid to put himself in front of the camera— though he does so infrequently.

He is invited to share in some very intimate, emotional moments in these men’s lives, and he shares his own emotional reactions to what he witnesses. For instance, Dominic Chilko invites Cooper along when he meets his birth mother for the first time. By limiting his on-screen appearances, Cooper is able to use his own presence to highlight the film’s most emotional moments.

The film also had an excellent soundtrack.

The Fruit Machine Directed by Sarah Fodey Sun., Nov. 4 (4 – 5:35 pm)  If you haven’t put it together yet that Canada’s history was not as nice and polite as you might hope, then congrats on finally getting out from under that massive rock. But even those who have heard testimony from residential school survivors or who have read about Japanese-Canadian internment camps

may not have heard of the fruit machine—a device that was allegedly able to identify gay men when the RCMP targeted LGBTQ2S+ civil servants during the Cold War. Being gay or lesbian was considered a character flaw, and supposedly LGBTQ2S+ civil servants were at risk of being blackmailed by communists. The Canadian military conducted a similar purge.

Hearing stories from former members of the military was especially heartbreaking as they describe essentially being tortured into ‘confessing’ their sexuality—though even those who never ‘confessed’ were discharged—and hearing them repeat that they were 18 or 19 when it happened—basically children. As they tell their stories, many break down into tears, and it hits home that even though these events took place decades ago, the effect has been ongoing.

Director Sarah Fodey does not interview any former RMCP or military officers involved in enacting the purge, but then maybe hearing their side isn’t the point.

Chelsea Novak chelsea@vueweekly.com

INDIGENOUS FILM FUNDING

STORYHIVE LAUNCHES PROGRAM FOR INDIGENOUS STORYTELLERS 20 Successful Projects to be Chosen by All-Indigenous Jury

RIGHT IN THE EYE

A

A CINEMA CONCERT BASED ON THE WORKS OF GEORGES MÉLIÈS NOVEMBER 6 AT 7:00 PM TICKETS $20 IN ADVANCE $25 AT THE DOOR

Considered the inventor of cinema, Georges Méliès is someone best defined by superlatives. It took just a few years for this pioneer and entertainer of genius to reveal the full extent of his technical and narrative vision. This production, weaving together a dozen of Méliès’ films with live music by a dizzyingly multi-instrumental trio, has performed across Europe and Asia.

Metro Cinema at the Garneau | 8712 109 St. WWW.METROCINEMA.ORG

12 film

well as gender nonbinary director Jill Soloway, she sticks pretty closely to the narrative of female representation in Hollywood.

Hearing from so many successful female directors is both inspiring and dispiriting, as their stories of discrimination echo each other— but despite the dismal numbers and telling anecdotes, ultimately Half the Picture offers a little hope.

s part of its commitment to support voices that have historically been marginalized, Telus’ STORYHIVE has launched its first Indigenous Storyteller Edition— which was developed in consultation with Indigenous STORYHIVE alumni. Not only did Indigenous storytellers help shape the format and financial structure of the edition, but an all-Indigenous jury will select the 20 projects to receive funding, mentorship, training, and distribution.

Megan Lau, manager of communications, engagement and equity for STORYHIVE, explains that over the past year, the program has been thinking about whether it’s doing enough to support Indigenous creators, and looked at research from the Canadian Media Fund that named “the different and many systemic barriers that Indigenous creators face.”

“And we thought that we could do

something to help that,” she adds.

“So we started doing an audit of our own program, and saw that there was a lot of things that may have presented cultural and material barriers to Indigenous creators.”

In developing the Indigenous Storyteller Edition, STORYHIVE opted not to have any voting.

“One of the big things [we heard] was that voting is counter to Indigenous values,” Lau says.

STORYHIVE also heard that the financial structure could be a barrier for some filmmakers.

“A lot of people had been telling us that getting not the full grant up front, people were going into debt just to be able to participate in the program, and we didn’t feel that, that was fair,” Lau says.

She also says that both of these issues have come up with non-Indigenous participants as well.

“There’s a lot that we’re experi-

VUEWEEKLY.com | NOV 1 - NOV 7, 2018

STORYHIVE Indigenous Storyteller Edition storyhive.com menting with applying in this edition, and [that] could very much benefit all of the creators at STORYHIVE,” Lau explains, adding that there’s no commitment to making those changes across the board at this stage, but that it’s something STORYHIVE is open to.

The Indigenous Storyteller Edition is open to project leads who are Indigenous and residents of Alberta and B.C. The successful projects will be three to 10-minute short films in any of a variety of genres: comedy, drama, animation, web series pilot, or documentary.

The deadline for submission is Dec. 4 at 1 p.m. MT, and the successful projects will be announced on Jan. 24, and featured on Telus’ platforms in fall of 2019.

Chelsea Novak chelsea@vueweekly.com

VUEWEEKLY.com | NOV 1 - NOV 7, 2018

film 13

CYBER FAIRY TALE

VIRAL BEAUTY IS TOUGH TO WATCH, BUT HARD TO LOOK AWAY FROM This Online Cinderella Story Delivers Some Cringe-Horror, but Not Enough of its Protagonist’s Personality

Viral Beauty Directed by David Tyson Lam Available via Amazon Prime 

S

oon after teens went from developing yearbook photos in darkrooms to developing extracurricular relationships in chatrooms, movies started warping us through the looking-glass of cyberspace.

There’s been the screen-grabbing, online-gabbing Unfriended franchise, with its twenty-something

victims; Nerve, where an onlinecommunity watches and urges on a high-school senior in a truth-ordare game; and Eighth Grade, about a middle schooler beset by social media anxiety. Now there streams Viral Beauty, an online-makeover story where a single white female becomes consumed by her life brand and swallowed up in self promotion—it’s The Truwoman Show for the vlog generation.

Marsha Day (Casey Killoran) is a Staten Island barista with highlighter-green-streaked hair whose dating request video gets spotlighted

FRI & MON TO THURS: 6:45 & 9:00PM SAT: 1:00, 6:45 & 9:00PM SUN: 1:00, 6:00 & 8:00PM RATED: PG

FRI: 7:00 & 9:30PM SAT: 1:15, 3:45, 7:00 & 9:30PM SUN: 1:15, 3:45, 6:15 & 8:30PM MON TO THURS: 7:00 & 9:15PM

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NOV 1 - NOV 7

ALL GOVERNMENTS LIE MON @ 9:30

RIGHT IN THE EYE

- A CINEMA CONCERT BASED ON THE FILMS OF GEORGES MÉLIÈS

TUE @ 7:00 LIVE EVENT THE US MIDTERMS TUE @ 9:30 LIVE EVENT

HOSTED BY OMAR MOUALLEM, RUSSELL COBB, AND KATHLEEN SMITH

THE GATE: DAWN OF THE BAHA’I FAITH WED @ 7:00

PROCEEDS GO TO THE JOHN HUMPHREY CENTRE FOR PEACE AND HUMAN RIGHTS ADMISSION BY DONATION

Metro Cinema at the Garneau: 8712-109 Street WWW.METROCINEMA.ORG

14 film

Stevie (Sunny Suljic) and Ray (Na-Kel Smith) / A24

Jonah Hill’s Directorial Debut is an Admirable Snapshot of the 1990s and Its Skateboarding Culture

RATED: 14A, CL

FAHRENHEIT 11/9 SUN @ 9:30, MON @ 7:00

sense of her pre-fame, then see her hollowed out by virtual success.

The movie’s too-mellow Marshaness does make it even more of a fractured fairy tale and an allegory, where a super-selling America has a woman’s body image dotcommodified. The internet’s a scale measuring her weight, shame, and fame. But in its eerie examination of an e-everywoman played up and knocked down and talked at, Viral Beauty neglects to give her enough of her own compelling, real-life character.

Brian Gibson

WAY BACK IN THE 90S

RATED: 14A, CL

SAT & SUN: 3:15PM

RAINBOW VISIONS FILM FESTIVAL NOVEMBER 1 – 4, 2018 RAINBOWVISIONS.CA THE ROOM FRI @ 11:30 GARNEAU GHOST LIGHT TOUR SUN @ 11AM LIVE EVENT. TICKETS $5

close and personal. The array of webcam replies and videophone responses (including parodies) to Marsha’s latest move can seem like a splintered hall of mirrors. Here, the online world’s a juddering, shuddering mix of mundanely intimate personal reactions and slick, scripted personality selling; the vapid, the earnest, and the entrepreneurial start to blur. It’s hard to watch and tough to look away (two binge-eating moments are basically cringe-horror). Yet Marsha’s personality remains a veneer; it would have been better to get a complex

WHAT THEY HAD

THE WIFE

PRESENTS

in Viral Beauty. / Lamkill Pictures

COMING-OF-AGE

FRI, NOV 2– THUR, NOV 8

THE OLD MAN & THE GUN

by “online gossiper” Rick Bravos (Ben Mehl). Soon, she’s being severely managed in Manhattan as an online-video star, with subscribers to her channel clicking on up past a million. Her contract includes a clause demanding she lose 30 pounds in three months; she shills products; she starts uploading video of her dates with personal trainer Will Durham (Mark Junek).

This fishbowl life’s refracted in bright, tight close-ups, which make Marsha’s streamed, remade life (complete with her cat Mister Kittsy) even more headachingly up

Casey Killoran stars as Marsha Day

onah Hill has been wanting to direct and write a film for close to a decade now, and after hanging out and taking advice from his friends— a diverse group of filmmaking titans that include Martin Scorcese—his debut film Mid90s was slated to be a coming-of-age masterpiece.

Unfortunately, it isn’t quite there. It is enjoyable and a favourable first outing for Hill, but it will probably soon be left in forgotten obscurity.

Mid90s follows the story of Stevie (Sunny Suljic), a 13-year-old Los Angeles boy trying to find his crowd while being subject to an abusive older brother Ian (Lucas Hedges) and his co-dependant single mother (Katherine Watson).

Stevie eventually finds a somewhat welcoming home in a group of skateboarders who hang out at a local skate shop.

Soon, he follows his new crowd on their adventures of illegal skateboarding, underage drinking, minimal drug use, and occasionally hooking up with girls at parties of 10 people—we’ve been to one.

This film—capping at only an hour and 25 minutes—had so much potential to be great. The dynamic

between Stevie’s new crowd—Ray (Na-kel Smith), Ruben (Gio Galicia), Fuckshit (Olan Prenatt—nicknamed for his tendency to say ‘Fuck, shit’ after a trick is landed), and Fourth Grade (Ryder McLaughlin)—is interesting but only focused on for a few quick scenes.

It’s not the most original dynamic ever, revamping quite a few skater personality tropes (the one who wants to party, the one who wants to make a name for himself, etc.), but it does come off as authentic. It truly feels like a group of teenagers hanging out in a skate shop down to the sexist language, absurd profanity, and obsession with 1990s skateboard culture.

The film truly shines through when members of the group are singled out to have real conversations with Stevie about their views on life and its many downfalls. As a viewer, I wanted more of that, but if Hill wanted to capture a quick snapshot of the 1990s, he did. He nailed the aesthetic; vintage video games and hip-hop CDs piled in Ian’s room, the pop culture clothes that Stevie and the skaters

VUEWEEKLY.com | NOV 1 - NOV 7, 2018

Mid90s Written and Directed by Jonah Hill Now Playing  wear, the soundtrack that features groups like Outkast, The Wu-Tang Clan, and the Pixies, and of course, the 4:3 ratio the film is shot in that makes you feel like you’re watching a movie one of the skaters would actually make. Clearly, Hill is a fan of Thrasher Magazine.

Suljic may only be 13 years old, but damn can he act. In the scene where he continuously screams over his mom in a car—not many adult actors have achieved that amount of convincing vocal passion and could learn a thing or two from the young actor.

I went into Mid90s thinking it was going to be a revelatory film that set a new standard, kind of like Moonlight, but it didn’t and that’s OK. Hill achieved what he wanted with a small runtime, so if you go in with no expectations, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

Stephan Boissonneault stephan@vueweekly.com

Posters created by local artists. / Supplied

CONCERT POSTERS

A VISUAL SONIC TIMELINE Edmonton Should Be Thankful for Its Roster of Majestic Concert Poster Creators

VUEWEEKLY.com | NOV 1 - NOV 7, 2018

CONTINUED ON PAGE 16>>

music 15

a visual sonic timeline

<< CONTINUED FROM PAGE 15

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all me old fashioned, but a concert poster can determine whether or not I even think about attending a live music show—unless I’m well aware of one of the bands on the bill. Every city has its own music scene that becomes a well-acquainted abode for graphic designers, art fanatics, or band members/promoters who want to make their own posters to save a few bucks.

Edmonton’s poster biz may be small—poster creators are pretty aware of each other—but it is burgeoning.

Concert posters first started popping up in the mid-1950s

16 music

More posters. / Supplied

as a way to promote big band country acts with bold, block lettering and a black and white, unadorned (usually out of focus) photo of the act. It wasn’t until the mid-1960s that posters for bands like The Grateful Dead really started to play with colour, tone, design, and psychedelic imagery. The shows these posters promoted weren’t marketed as your conventional concert. They were the epitome of the flowerchild, hippy culture that featured some of the most famous bands of all time.

The punk rock movement eventually jumped on the poster

train, of course, with a more DIY style that embraced a darker, grittier style printed on a Xerox machine in black and white ink.

Fast forward to now, and the digital shift has upgraded the artist’s arsenal with a wide array of tools to pump out show posters.

Many of them are posted on the shows event page on Facebook while a few make it onto the street poles.

Edmonton is lucky to have quite its roster of poster artists—each with their own individual style— to help promote the smaller, more community-driven shows.

Usually, venues like 9910, The Aviary, The Sewing Machine Factory, The Rec Room—and Starlite Room—to name a few, feature a show poster with anomalous found images and creative custom designs.

“Bands that go for a bit more commercial way of expressing themselves usually go for the photos. I guess you could correlate bands that do the more high-budget music videos will probably be more likely to have tour posters with photos of themselves, whereas other bands are probably more oriented around abstract imagery,” says musician and poster creator Myles Bartel.

Bartel has a design degree from MacEwan and is in the local experimental rock band Pigeon Breeders. Poster making, for him, is another form of freelance design that helped him “get by for a while” financially. It was also a good way to ensure many Pigeon Breeders shows had a show poster. His posters usually focus on isolated imagery and typography and rely on crisp, negative space.

“When you have your event on a pole with 40 other posters, you want to stand out a little bit and not cram as much as you can and try to be the busiest, biggest, looking event. You want some modest personality and be true to what it is,” he says.

A good example of this “modest personality” he speaks of is his recent poster for touring noise electronic group Odonis Odonis. The poster singles out

an iceberg that connects vertical scarlet sound waves on top of a jet black background.

“Typically, I’m already familiar with the genre or group. I don’t listen to the whole album. My favourite ones though are when I’m intrigued by a band’s sound and not very familiar with them,” he says.

Like many of his peers, Bartel is known as someone you can count on to produce original artwork, meaning he doesn’t really have to seek out work for posters. Promoters usually ask him.

“I try to stay on top of that, and you just immerse yourself in that when you’re doing show posters; keeping tabs on who is playing with who and connect with different groups,” he says.

He also tries to make sure his posters expand on the images that other posters feature.

“I want it to fit with what they’re doing while using my own artistic voice,” Bartel says. “I try to consider what’s out already too. So if there’s a really great poster that focuses on yellow, I probably won’t do a yellow poster for that band. You gotta be aware of what’s coming out at the same time.”

It also helps to have a grasp on what the bands sound like.

Since Edmonton’s music is pretty scattered in terms of genre, most poster creators have found their niche and are aware of the bands’ sounds.

“If I don’t know the band already I try to listen to their latest album while I design the poster,” says poster designer, member of post-punk group Fitness, and creator of the clothing brand HELTH, Devin Murphy-Hopp.

“You should be starting the design right as you click play. I usually know at least one band on each bill that I’m making. Strictly by the name, I can probably figure it out, but you want to do the band justice.”

“Even a single [of the band] sometimes is enough,” says Brandi Strauss, another poster creator in Edmonton who also sings and plays bass in Rhythm of Cruelty. “A darker/moodier band will draw me to darker images/

VUEWEEKLY.com | NOV 1 - NOV 7, 2018

scenarios. While a poppier/uplifting sounding band I’ll find myself using brighter, more peaceful images,” she says.

“There are certain things that I will pick up on when listening to a band. It’s not really imagery, but the texture and things like that,” adds Parker Thiessen, another poster creator in Edmonton.

“If it’s a lighter band, I don’t want to put too much gritty texture. If it’s a noise rock band then you can make it look really dirty. The imagery I find won’t be affected that much by the sound of the band.”

A good example of Thiessen’s style is his poster for the local alternative/indie band nêhiyawak that features a milk chocolate brown backdrop with three ethereal heads lined up in unison behind some prairies.

Strauss’ poster work on the other hand usually focuses on distorted collages of found images she compiles from her library of more than 80 secondhand books. The results fit a DIY zine aesthetic that was seen during the heydays of punk. She has also released quite a few zines (Collateral Damage, Blue Moon, and more) featuring some of her collage work.

It could be argued that marketing a show with an original designed show poster as opposed to a band’s touring photo is a more creative endeavour that complements the band.

“It’s just another aspect of the show and it kind of adds to the music community to have this visual aspect that’s a little more involved,” Thiessen says.

“As a musician, I like to know that someone has taken the time to think about the music and what that music will look like,” Murphy-Hopp adds.

Unfortunately, after the show many of these posters—these pieces of fantastic original art— are forgetten. Perhaps there should be a way to preserve some of these show posters in a collaborative local space of some sort? Maybe for an exhibition?

That one’s for free art galleries.

Stephan Boissonneault stephan@vueweekly.com

PROGRESSIVE ROCK

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NOV 16

HEWSON GREY w/ YIKES

Tickets and full listings TheRecRoom.com The Rec Room® is owned by Cineplex Entertainment L. P.

Looks like a fun and tasty brunch. / Kirsten Huculiak

FLATTENING THE RECORDING PLAYING FIELD

Progressive Rockers We Are the City Decided to Self-Produce Their Latest, AT NIGHT

Sun., Nov. 11 (7 pm) We Are the City w/ Upper Lakes, Close Talker Starlite Room—Temple $20

F

ar more often than not, an artist can fall victim to the bureaucracy and the trends of the recording industry, but the tides are changing in favour of the artist and self-production, and self-releases are becoming ever more prevalent in the rough waters of the industry.

We Are the City—made up of singer-keyboardist Cayne McKenzie, drummer Andrew Huculiak, and guitarist David Menzel—has always been a band riding their own wave. We Are the City has always been known to put matters into its own hands, whether it has been producing a score for Norwegianbased film Violent (which Huculiak directed and, by the way, did not know any Norwegian for), acting out a live-stream of the making of its 2015 album Above Club, and now, self-producing AT NIGHT, a pre-emptive companion album to RIP (an album due out in 2019).

“We definitely control a lot of aspects of what we do. We have a hand in everything—spontane-

ity is the first instinct,” Huculiak says. “In the least pretentious way, we’ve paved our own path.”

After collaborating with famed producers Matty Green (The Weeknd, Frank Ocean, Paul McCartney) and Steve Bays on the album RIP, an album that took two years to craft, We Are the City found it was still bursting with material. Huculiak says, “We weren’t expecting to write another record ... We had this idea to release supplemental material using scraps from the recording process. Then we started putting vocals on it, putting drums, and realized how awesome these songs were.

Then it became exciting to sort of amp up the RIP record with another record.”

AT NIGHT is quintessentially We Are the City, which is ultimately spontaneous and obscure. With a Call Me by Your Name aesthetic, the album takes chances with synthesized drum sounds and wavering guitar lines—McKenzie’s voice always providing the guiding light for this wondrous soundscape. It’s the challenges that carve out the marble and We Are the City is always chipping away.

“The thing we are constantly fighting is the instinct or desire to do what we’ve done before. If

you’re to do what you have done in the past, yeah, it’s practical or pragmatic but we’re often thinking ‘How can we do something different?’” Huculiak says. “We seek out these sounds, like you hear on AT NIGHT.” For these guys, We Are the City has become a lifetime passion project that seems to know no bounds.

“It feels like a lifetime ago when we were starting out. I think the challenge, as an artist, is making myself feel uncomfortable and pushing to do something you haven’t done before,” Huculiak reminisces.

And We Are the City is always pushing and inspiring others. AT NIGHT is in one way, a spur-ofthe-moment companion album, but it’s also a sign. It’s a sign that the times are changing for recorded music. As long as you’ve got the gall to put in the effort and time, the power to create, produce, and release, your art is in your hands.

“The standard of the listener has changed, and for this newer generation self-producing and engineering has flattened the playing field,” he says. “Someone with a crazy idea will be able to compete. It’s no longer a mysterious process.”

Ryan Hook

NOVEMBER 3RD

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TICKETS $29.95 PLUS GST

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music 17

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Last Building Burning

Pte. Malcolm Skepple with the Mons Bugle / Supplied

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After More Than 50 Years of Silence, a Historic Horn Rings Out

his year’s annual Lest We Forget musical tribute hosted by T the Cosmopolitan Music Society and the Loyal Edmonton Regiment boasts a special horn in its midst.

DEC 2 - BIX MIX BOYS - SUNDAY COUNTRY NIGHTS 7 - SPARROW BLUE 8 - CRAIG CARDIFF 14 - LUSITANIA LIGHTS, GOOD NATURE, REBECCA LAPPA, EVERGREEN, AND RETROFILE 15 - KHALED RAHIME, JENESIA, LAUREN MARIE, AMBER AVINA, VANESSA DOMINGUES 21 - SMALL OFFICE LIVE MUSIC CHRISTMAS PARTY (CONTACT@STATIONONJASPER.COM FOR DETAILS)

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S TAT I O N O N J A S P E R . C O M 18 music

THE MONS BUGLE SINGS AGAIN

At 11:11 a.m. on Nov. 11, 1918, an order was given to a bugler from Canada’s 49th Battalion to play the ceasefire bugle call in Mons, Belgium. The battalion was eventually renamed the Loyal Edmonton Regiment, and it granted permission to use the bugle this week to mark 100 years since the armistice that ended The Great War. “The ceasefire was more of a ceremonial significance,” says David Hockett, a warrant officer with the Loyal Edmonton Regiment and a clarinetist in the Cosmopolitan Music Society’s advanced band. “It was rarely used during combat because, for obvious reasons, a bugle was not loud enough to signal.”

Instead, relayed voice or hand signals were more common.

But Hockett says that doesn’t diminish the bugle’s importance.

“It’s epic. It’s historic to think that 100 years ago, that bugle was played after a hard fought 100-day campaign, pushing the Germans back to Mons,” he says.

At first, organizers weren’t sure if the instrument would be playable after so long. But the Mons Bugle, made by a Scottish company renowned for its bagpipes, is sturdy.

And after the ceasefire call, it was rarely played until the 1950s when it was sequestered away by the Loyal Edmonton Regiment Museum as a historical icon. Despite this, it’s in excellent condition for being more that a century old, Hockett says.

“The intonation is tuned at maybe A430, which is quite a bit flatter than what we play today,” he says.

“It had probably been carried around and knocked a bit, and it does have a fair bit of dents, but it’s still actually quite playable … It’s got a beautiful mellow bugle sound to it.”

That timbre will ring out the tune of “Last Post” and “Reveille” during Sunday’s concert.

“It takes a little bit for a trumpeter to get used to playing a bugle,” Hockett says. “It’s all driven by the lip. There’s no valves on it.”

Those shifts in embouchure will be handled by Pte. Malcolm Skepple—which is more honourable attribution than we can afford the Mons Bugle’s original player.

VUEWEEKLY.com | NOV 1 - NOV 7, 2018

Sun.,Nov. 4 (7 pm) Lest We Forget: A Musical Tribute Winspear Centre $25 “There is no name of the person who actually played the bugle, and it wasn’t recorded anywhere,” Hockett says. “I don’t know if we’ll ever know.”

What has been documented is the strong connection between the Cosmopolitan Music and the affectionately nicknamed, Loyal Eddies, Hockket says.

“It’s just tremendous with the relationship that the Loyal Edmonton Regiment has developed with the Cosmo Music Society and in particular, Lest We Forget,” he says. “It’s such a tremendous way of really honouring all these veteran throughout all the conflicts that have occurred.

“It’s a fantastic privilege to bring out the Mons Bugle and share this history with the people of Edmonton and to give them a chance to celebrate all the history with the Canadian Armed Forces.”

Kevin Pennyfeather

ALBERTA-WIDECLASSIFIEDS

VUEPICKS The Uncas, The Denim Daddies (EP Release) Johnny Deer and the King Sized 25s // Fri., Nov. 9 (8 pm) The Uncas has always been that rare band that enjoys reuniting for one to two shows a year, leaving fans to shake their fists in boiled nostalgia. Now its back with a brand of infectious cowpunk and psycho grass. Backing them up is The Denim Daddies, which is releasing its Thinkin’ EP, a more serious companion to the Drinkin’ EP released this summer.

(The Aviary, $15)

Mac Sabbath w/ Franks & Deans, Electric Audrey 2 // Thu., Nov. 8 (8 pm) What can be said about Mac Sabbath, a band that takes visual inspiration from the characters of McDonaldland and plays pretty near perfect Black Sabbath covers with altered lyrics about quarter pounders. I dunno, man. It’s weird, but maybe this is what the world needs—a band born out of fast food culture and metal. We had The Pizza Underground (bless you Macauley Culkin) so perhaps Mac Sabbath is the band we deserve. (Starlite Room, $18)

Precious Cargo // Sat., Nov. 3 (7 pm) Recalling the music of the wartime eras, Precious Cargo will its debut in Edmonton just in time for Remembrance Day. Stylized as a concert you would find on Veterans Day, three harmonizing sisters will bring back medleys from the 1930s and 40s while being backed up by a terrific swing band. This year celebrates the 100th anniversary of the end of the First World War, so it’s gonna be a party. (Holy Trinity Anglican Church, Lower Hall, $20 via Tix on the Square)

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Jock Tears bad boys Inky Records After much anticipation, Vancouver’s Jock Tears has debuted their 14 track LP bad boys. The sporty, sassy, high-energy release is filled with earworms that stick in your head before you even realize they’re catchy. A strong follow up to their 2016 LP Sassy Attitude, bad boys is an instant add to anyone’s collection.

Jock Tears effortlessly skips between punk, indie, garage, and pop.

Lauren Ray’s addictive vocal hooks and memorable lyrics are held up well by the punchy instrumentals.

The album captures the essence of summer through its upbeat rhythms and 1980s sensibilities, making it an appropriate soundtrack for shooting hoops with friends.

Taking their band name very literally, the album is filled with feminist anthems like “Not Yr Sweetheart” and “nasty boy.”

Many tracks focus on issues of toxic masculinity and—you guessed it—jocks. The self-titled “jock tears,” talks about the existence of sensitive jocks and the humour behind them. Jock Tears reveals the absurdity of masculinity through its lighthearted approach to serious topics. While most of the album feels rooted in 1980s punk, “boys with bruises” and “see ya later alligator” take on a more 1960s proto-punk sound with a vocal style reminiscent of

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Iggy Pop or Marc Bolan. If the album has a flaw, it is that a lot of the songs sound very similar, though this does not damage the listenability of the album at all.

With only one song exceeding two minutes, bad boys is over in a quick 19 minutes. The short and sweet cuts make for replayability and by the time the album is over, you’ll find yourself back at the beginning for a second listen.

Ellen Reade

Nuela Charles Distant Danger Nuela Charles Music Nuela Charles has been gracing the depths of the pop-soul plane of Canadian music since her debut album Aware in 2012 and second album The Grand Hustle in 2016. Her latest effort Distant Danger adds an appreciative R&B groove to the already soulful Charles. Distant

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Danger is like being driven on a night out in neon-lit alleys, cigarette smoke skies, in old Chevrolets.

With plenty of newly felt production and arrangements, lead single “Troublemaker” leads the charge with pops and punches. Sass, empowerment, and respect command attention. “Sugar” is evidence of the evolving Charles and her range, and always with tinges of posthumous Aretha Franklin. “Do It Right” will have any crowd bumpin’ and groovin’ and “Danger” adds to the aptly named album. While the album may be a step-up for Charles in terms of dynamic and production, Distant Danger falls as more than just an album with pop-structures exhausted already, but it serves as a stepping stone to Nuela Charles talent and future as a successful musician.

Ryan Hook

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GO

SAVAGELOVE PIV DILEMMA

I’m a 40-year-old married straight woman. I gave birth to our first kid in 2015 and our second earlier this year. My perineum tore and was stitched both times. I have not been able to have sex with penetration since having our second child. My OB/ GYN said I’m “a little tighter now” due to the way the stitching was performed. My husband is very well endowed and I can’t imagine how on earth I’m ever going to get that thing back in me, let alone enjoy it. We have a history of pretty hot sex and I really miss it. I’ve been searching online for some sex toys to help me. I’ve never used sex toys before. I’ve always been able to have thrilling orgasms easily without any devices. I still can with manual stimulation. But I want to have sex with my husband. I’m confused and I just don’t know what I need to help me open back up and get through the pain. Please help!

THANKS IN ADVANCE

“Unfortunately, this situation is very common—but luckily there are options to help her get her groove back,” said Dr. Rachel Gelman, a pelvic floor physical therapist at the Pelvic Health and Rehabilitation Center (pelvicpainrehab.com).

Also sadly common: OB/GYNs shrugging off concerns like yours, TIA. “I see that all the time,” said Dr. Gelman. “Part of the problem is that the pelvic floor/muscles aren’t on most doctor’s radar.

That’s due to many factors— cough, cough, insurance companies, cough, our dysfunctional health care system, cough— but to water it down, it’s the OB/GYN’s job to get someone through pregnancy and deliver a healthy baby. And when that’s

Dan Savage

accomplished, the feeling is their job is done.”

But so long as you’re not able to have and enjoy PIV sex with your hung husband, TIA, there’s still work to do.

“TIA needs to see a pelvic floor physical therapist,” said Dr. Gelman. “A good PT would be able to assess and treat any pelvic floor dysfunction, which is often the primary cause or a contributing factor for anyone experiencing pain with sex, especially after childbirth.”

At this point Dr. Gelman began to explain that pushing a living, breathing, screaming human being out of your body is an intense experience and I explained to Dr. Gelman that I’ve had to push a few living, breathing, screaming human beings out of my body, thank you very much. Dr. Gelman clarified that she was talking about “the trauma of labour and delivery,” something with which I have no experience.

“Labour and delivery can have a significant impact on the pelvic floor muscles which can cause a myriad of symptoms,” said Dr. Gelman. Pain during PIV sex sits high on the list of those symptoms.

“The fact that TIA had tearing with the deliveries means she most likely has scar tissue, and a PT would again be able to treat the scar to help decrease any hypomobility and hypersensitivity,” said Dr. Gelman. “A pelvic floor specialist can also instruct her in a home program which may include stretches, relaxation techniques, and dilators—dilators are graduated cylinders that are inserted vaginally to help stretch the vaginal opening and promote relaxation of the pelvic floor.”

A set of “graduated cylinders” is essentially “a bouquet of dil-

dos,” TIA. You start with the smallest dilator/dildo, inserting it every day until you can insert it without any pain or discomfort, and then you “graduate” (nudge, nudge) to the next “cylinder” (wink, wink). You can order a set of dilators online, TIA, but Dr. Gelman wants you to find a doc that specializes in sexual medicine first.

“There are some good medical associations that she can check out for resources and to help locate a provider in her area,” said Dr. Gelman. “The websites of the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health (ISSWSH), the International Society for Sexual Medicine (ISSM) and the International Pelvic Pain Society (IPPS) are where she should start.”

Follow Dr. Gelman on Instagram, @pelvichealthsf.

YES AND HE’S GAY

I’m a 30-year-old woman, and about a year ago I started taking improv classes to help combat my social anxiety. I met a lot of awesome people in my class, but I took a particular shine to this one guy. He was a gentle soul, very sweet, and really funny. We quickly became friends. Eventually I developed feelings for him and asked him out. He appreciated the offer but told me that he was gay. I was shocked and disappointed, but I wanted to keep our friendship so I tried to get over my feelings. But not only haven’t these feelings gone away, I’m actually falling in love with him. He recently confessed to me that he’s still semi-closeted and dealing with a bad breakup, so I really don’t want to add to his problems. This is such a mess. I found this wonderful guy who I care about and yet nothing will ever happen

because I was born the wrong gender. What can I do?!?

INTROVERT MAKES PASS, REGRETS OVERTURE VERY SERIOUSLY

Nothing.

You can’t make that gay guy fall in love with you, IMPROVS, anymore than I could make Hasan Minhaj fall in love with me. Getting over him is your only option, and that’s gonna take some time and most likely some space, too. (I’d recommend seeing less of your crush after this class ends.) But give yourself some credit for doing something proactive about your social anxiety, for taking a risk, and for asking your classmate out. You didn’t take that improv class to find love, right? You took it to combat your social anxiety—and it sounds like you won a few battles, IMPROVS, if not the war. The takeaway here isn’t, “It didn’t work with him so why should I bother ever trying again with someone else?” but, “I did it—I made a connection, I asked someone out—and I’m going do it again and hopefully it’ll work out next time.”

TRANSITION

I’m an early 30s hetero-flexible man in an open marriage with a bi woman, though both of us have been too chicken to actually go through on acting on the “open” part. Neither of us are hung up on jealousy, so that’s not a factor here. I recently confessed to my wife that I have had a long-standing desire to sleep with a trans woman. Yes, I know that it’s immature to not have disclosed all my kink cards prior to marriage, but I have my reasons, and thankfully, my wonderful wife let me off the hook and was very supportive.

I expressed to her that I have

considered seeing a professional trans escort rather than trying for a “hook up” situation.

Her reaction was highly negative, as she has the impression that anyone in the sex trade industry is—by definition—a victim. Where do I go from here? I am uncomfortable with the idea of putting myself out there to meet a trans woman in my city (especially since I’m not looking for a relationship), but I don’t want to violate my wife’s trust and see an escort.

DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO Put yourself on a dating and/ or hookup app, say that you’re partnered and only looking for something casual, and add that you welcome responses from trans women. Some trans women are rightly annoyed by all the cis men out there who only wanna hook up, DKWTD, and never date or be seen in public with them. But trans folks are just like other folks—some are taken, some are looking, some are taken and looking. If you get grief from a trans woman who’s annoyed that you aren’t open to dating women like her, DKWTD, let her vent—her frustrations are perfectly legitimate—while you wait for a response from a trans woman looking to buy what you’re selling.

P.S. The trans escorts I know— women who freely chose their jobs—will be surprised to learn that they’re victims, at least according to your highly opinionated and woefully misinformed wife.

On the Lovecast, Is there a urologist in the house? Yes, yes there is: savagelovecast.com. mail@savagelove.net @FakeDanSavage on Twitter ITMFA.org

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JONESIN’ CROSSWORD

FREEWILL ASTROLOGY

Matt Jones

“Mark the Ballot”— just do it.

Across

1 Take in or on 6 Speed trap device 11 May follower, sometimes 14 Car wash machine 15 Napoleon’s punishment 16 Bed-In for Peace participant 17 Start of a quote from Larry J. Sabato 20 ___ of iniquity 21 Rust, for instance 22 ___ Stix (powdered candy) 23 “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough,” e.g.

24 Indigenous Peoples’ Day mo.

26 They’re supposedly thwarted by captchas 29 List that may be laminated 31 ___ in “elephant” 34 “And while ___ the subject ...”

35 Shady political operative 36 “The Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead” band 37 Middle of the quote 41 Pompousness 42 Greek column style 43 Elvis’s middle name, on his birth certificate 44 “Baker Street” instrument 45 Gets a look at 46 Corn husk contents 48 “Uh-huh” 49 Is down with the sickness, maybe 50 “Be kind to animals” org.

53 Braking method in skating that forms a letter shape 55 “Just ___ suspected!”

58 End of the quote 62 Mode or carte preceder 63 Fundamental principle 64 Wheel shafts 65 Animator Avery 66 Where ballots get stuffed 67 “Law & Order” actor Jeremy

Down

1 Blown away 2 “Take Five” pianist Brubeck 3 Farm team 4 Part of ppm 5 Audition 6 Started anew, as a candle 7 Canceled 8 Dungeons & Dragons equipment 9 Key below X, on some keyboards

22 at the back

ARIES (March 21-April 19): You have officially arrived at the heart of the most therapeutic phase of your cycle. Congratulations! It’s an excellent time to fix what’s wrong, hurt, or distorted. You will attract more help than you can imagine if you summon an aggressive approach toward finding antidotes and cures. A good way to set the tone for your aggressive determination to feel better is to heed this advice from poet Maya Angelou: “Take a day to heal from the lies you’ve told yourself and the ones that have been told to you.”

10 Camping gear retailer 11 “Both Sides Now” singer Mitchell 12 Alternative to Windows 13 Apt to pry 18 Former partners 19 Vote (for) 23 Not half-baked?

24 Lacking height and depth, for short 25 Sidewalk edge 26 Lyft transactions, e.g.

27 Symbol of resistance?

28 Injection also used for migraines 29 Small versions, sometimes 30 CEO, e.g.

31 Movie crowd member 32 “The Road to Mecca” playwright Fugard 33 Play fragment 35 “OK, whatever” 38 “___ to vote, sir!” (palindrome mentioned in Weird Al’s “Bob”) 39 Bar Bart barrages with crank calls 40 Thanksgiving side dish 46 Uruguayan uncles 47 27-Down counterparts 48 Talk endlessly 49 Supercollider particles 50 Slight fight 51 Former Minister of Sport of Brazil 52 Cajole 53 Candy bar now sold with “left” and “right” varieties 54 Espadrille, for one 55 Belt-hole makers 56 Bird feeder block 57 ___ facto 59 Study space?

60 Endo’s opposite 61 ___Clean (product once pitched by Billy Mays) ©2018 Jonesin’ Crosswords

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): U2’s singer Bono, born under the sign of Taurus, says that all of us suffer from the sense that something’s missing from our lives. We imagine that we lack an essential quality or experience, and its absence makes us feel sad and insufficient. French philosopher Blaise Pascal referred to this emptiness as “a God-shaped hole.” Bono adds that “you can never completely fill that hole,” but you may find partial fixes through love and sex, creative expression, family, meaningful work, parenting, activism, and spiritual devotion. I bring this to your attention, Taurus, because I have a strong suspicion that in the coming weeks you will have more power to fill your Godshaped hole than you’ve had in a long time.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Most of our desires are clichés, right?

Ready to wear, one size fits all. I doubt if it’s even possible to have an original desire anymore.” So says a character in Gemini author Tobias Wolff’s short story “Sanity.” Your assignment in the coming weeks, Gemini, is to refute and rebel against this notion. The cosmic rhythms will work in your favour to the degree that you cultivate innovative yearnings and unique urges. I hope you’ll make it your goal to have the experiences necessary to stir up an outbreak of original desires.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): If you’re a typical member of the Cancerian tribe, you’re skilled at responding constructively when things go wrong. Your intelligence rises up hot and strong when you get sick or rejected or burned.

But if you’re a classic Crab, you have less savvy in dealing with triumphs. You may sputter when faced with splashy joy, smart praise, or lucky breaks. But everything I just said is meant to be a challenge, not a curse. One of the best reasons to study astrology is to be aware of the potential shortcomings of your sign so you can outwit and overcome them.

That’s why I think that eventually you’ll evolve to the point where you won’t be a bit flustered when blessings arrive. And the immediate future will bring you excellent opportunities to upgrade your response to good fortune.

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Each of us needs something of an island in her life,” said poet John Keats.

“If not an actual island, at least some place, or space in time, in which to be herself, free to cultivate her differences from others.”

According to my reading of the astrological omens, Leo, you’ll be wise to spend extra time on your own island in the next two weeks.

Solitude is unlikely to breed unpleasant loneliness, but will instead inspire creative power and evoke inner strength. If you don’t have an island yet, go in search!

(P.S.: I translated Keats’ pronouns into the feminine gender.)

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I’m rooting for you to engage in experimental intimacy, Virgo. I hope you’ll have an affinity for sweet blends and incandescent mixtures and arousing juxtapositions. To get in the right mood for this playful work, you could read love poetry and listen to uplifting songs that potentize your urge to merge. Here are a few lyrical passages to get you warmed up. 1.

“Your flesh quivers against mine like moonlight on the sea.” —Julio Cortázar 2. “When she smiles like that she is as beautiful as all my secrets. —Anne Carson 3.

“My soul is alight with your infinitude of stars . . . The flowers of your garden blossom in my body.”

—Rabindranath Tagore 4. “I can only find you by looking deeper, that’s how love leads us into the world.” —Anne Michaels

Rob Brezsny

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian poet Rainer Maria Rilke suggested that we cultivate an alertness for the ever-present possibility of germination and gestation. On a regular basis, he advised, we should send probes down into the darkness, into our unconscious minds, to explore for early signs of awakening. And when we discover the forces of renewal stirring there in the depths, we should be humble and reverent toward them, understanding that they are as-yet beyond the reach of our ability to understand. We shouldn’t seek to explain and define them at first, but simply devote ourselves to nurturing them. Everything I just said is your top assignment in the coming weeks.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You’re in a phase of your cycle when your influence is at a peak.

People are more receptive than usual to your ideas and more likely to want the same things you do. Given these conditions, I think the best information I can offer you is the following meditation

by Capricorn activist Martin Luther King Jr. “Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love.”

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Of course I want you to have more money. I’d love for you to buy experiences that expand your mind, deepen your emotional intelligence, and foster your ability to create inspiring forms of togetherness. My soul would celebrate if you got access to new wealth that enabled you to go in quest of spiritual fun and educational adventures. On the other hand, I wouldn’t be thrilled about you spending extra cash on trivial desires or fancy junk you don’t really need. Here’s why I feel this way: to the extent that you seek more money to pursue your most righteous cravings, you’re likely to get more money.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian environmentalist Edward Abbey spent much of his life rambling around in the great outdoors. He was an emancipated spirit who regarded the natural world as the only church he needed. In an eruption of ecstatic appreciation, he once testified that “Life is a joyous dance through daffodils beneath cerulean blue skies and then, then what? I forget what happens next.” And yet the truth is, Abbey was more than a wild-hearted Dionysian explorer in the wilderness. He found the discipline and diligence to write 23 books! I mention this, Aquarius, because now is a perfect time for you to be like the disciplined and diligent and productive version of Abbey.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Penetralia” is a word that means the innermost or most private parts, the most secret and mysterious places. It’s derived from the same Latin term that evolved into the word “penetrate.” You Scorpios are of course the zodiac’s masters of penetralia. More than any other sign, you’re likely to know where the penetralia are, as well as how to get to them and what to do when you get to them. I suspect that this tricky skill will come in extra handy during the coming weeks. I bet your intimate adeptness with penetralia will bring you power, fun, and knowledge.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): For renowned Piscean visual artist Anne Truitt (1921–2004), creating her work was high adventure.

She testified that artists like her had “to catapult themselves wholly, without holding back one bit, into a course of action without having any idea where they will end up. They are like riders who gallop into the night, eagerly leaning on their horse’s neck, peering into a blinding rain.” Whether or not you’re an artist, Pisces, I suspect your life in the coming weeks may feel like the process she described. And that’s a good thing! A fun thing!

Enjoy your ride.

CURTIS HAUSER

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24 Happy cheap candy day!

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