It is what it is

Welome to the beginning of the end. ...the beginning of an insightful journey and an end to being confused about your emotions

1

2

WHAT ARE EMOTIONS? Hello, It’s good to know you’re putting in some effort to make personal progress. Congratulations, this book will help you level up. The world today can be a stressful place because of the pace at which a lot of information can be put in your face; it has never been easier to understand your emotions critically. Never, it doesn’t require long hours of meditation, tiring exercises, or visiting a monk.

It doesn’t require a lot of stress but it does require practice. It is a simple matter when one cuts through all the smoke. Cutting through the smoke is the hard part. If you're the kind of person who wants to understand your emotions and finally get whatever you want in life, this simplified and comprehensive book will set you free.

Do people make you very angry? Do you feel lonely sometimes? Probably you’re just not very happy or you feel anxious very frequently if you’re bored most of the time or you overthink everything; you may have even felt depressed once or it’s just that you want to have more fun, probably you want to be more optimistic or you’re just curious and want to know what makes people so happy?

3

If you want to know if happy people don’t have any problems of their own or any of these questions jump out at you and you’d like to understand why these situations pop up, read till the end. You will keep this guide somewhere accessible and check back on it after you discover just how simple and practical this book is.

Imagine a world in which you don’t have any stress, you always feel grateful, you’re full of love and you’re spreading it every day, imagine enjoying life irrespective of the challenges you silently wish would just go away, those that could almost make you punch someone in the face or make you scream out loud?

Dealing with all that effortlessly is possible when you understand your emotions. You are not your emotions. Ever heard of the phrase “good vibes only”?

Well, welcome to vibe-Ville! You have begun a journey that leads to your growth, freedom, and happiness. You will discover and notice a shift in your perspective and mindset after you will practice and experience just how effective this guide can be Think of emotions as “energy in motion” because that’s all it is really. They function like the way you breathe, trouble occurs when they’re obstructed.

4

They are an incredible gift. Our emotions make us understand what we are thinking of and attracting if we pay close attention enough to them, we can even choose to behave in some particular ways to generate some particular feelings.

Let’s do a short and practical exercise right now; Take a very deep breath, the deepest you can that is, you feel your chest puffing out right?. Good, now try to hold your breath for the maximum duration of time you can immediately after this full-stop. Come on, it’ll be fun. Just do it for 5 seconds or try counting to ten while you still have that very deep breath in you. You had to let go sooner or later right? Is that a smile I see across your face? Well, even if you’re a swimmer you can’t hold your breath for the whole day now, can you? It’s the same with your emotions, when you just stuff it all in for too long, it explodes soon enough one way or another. When you let it all out a little too much, it could be really painful and draining.

Being in control of change is to be in control of your destiny and to a great extent, your emotions. The question is how do you bring about the changes you desire? How do you switch from an emotional state to another at the snap of a finger?

5

Can such things be done at will? like a change from Sadness to happiness in the blink of an eye or to skyrocket from being depressed to be motivated at the speed of light? For some reason, people believe many things in life are outside their control and say things like “That’s how I am”, “it's in the genes”, “I don’t know why I get angry easily, or the “that’s just how I am” belief? How about if you can make a conscious effort to cause changes in yourself at your own command?

Of course, there are natural forces which we have no control over, we can’t change the order of the seasons or the weather, those are big global issues, but personal change is altogether a different thing entirely, you will discover today that you can change your mind, now I’m not talking about the kind of change of mind like when you decide what clothes you feel like wearing or what kind of music you’d like to listen to in a playlist.

Were familiar with changing our minds on a small scale like that, it's also possible to change our very beliefs. When you understand your emotions, you’ll understand yourself and make necessary changes. With the understanding you’ve gotten from this book, it will change your life if you take specific actions likewise. So, sit back, relax, grab a cup of coffee, lie down and make yourself comfortable.

6

You will have a memorable but small taste of techniques you can use to understand your emotions and change your life, prepare to be surprised. You’re reading this book because you want something in your life to change, we can agree on that much, even though we might know each other or probably even if we just haven't met before.

Change is a strange beast, we want it yet if it’s too big we can feel scared of it, many people don’t know how to create it on demand. Have you ever had a sudden burst of excitement that felt really awkward or a sudden fit of ‘anger-drama’, after which you realize a lot of permanent damage has been done?

Welcome to this discovery, here is the telescope to help you see how emotions function, the reason they function that way and how to arrive at whatever emotional destination you desire, this compass is for you if you don’t understand the path to take. Come along, Let’s continue this journey as you swipe through the pages of this book let’s explore what emotions are all about.

Simply put, there are two types of emotions, good and bad; also known as positive and negative energy in motion respectively, you feel good when you experience some emotions, you feel bad when you experience others, these emotions say hi to you once in a while as a result of the way you think.

7

Let’s break it down then;

When was the last time you had some hot TEA? Been a while right? I'd like you to take a quick sip of this simple but important technique. TEA is an acronym that will help you remember why people are so happy no matter what happens to them or are so interesting to be around.

T E A The TEA technique is an acronym for (Thoughts, emotions, and actions).

9

What would you like to do? Think a lot about it till you feel like you have it already, then do things that are consistent with what you think and feel at all times. By educating yourself about how or what you'd like to be, with conscious practice and taking deliberate but consistent steps, finally changes will follow.

There is an unconscious story everybody tells themselves, try to edit yours or create a new one today.

Anyone who themselves "I can handle anything that comes my way" is likely to be more confident than someone who regularly tells himself or herself "What's wrong with me, I always seem to mess things up".

What kind of story would you like to choose to tell yourself regularly till you start to see it practically obvious in your life? You will remember to take a sip of this regularly, won't you? It's so practical and simple. you will discover the changes that will happen immediately you practice this simple TEA trick. You won't forget, will you?

Think about this for a moment; whatever you believe about yourself, about life and about the way the world works, whatever you believe about the meaning of life; even those beliefs came from all over the place, there was no plan was there? It’s important to note that both positive and negative emotions are important and have their specific roles respectively

10

Your parents, teachers, television, and so on fed your young mind with the best of whatever they thought was right at that time and often they would even have conflicted with each other leaving you confused, remember?

And how many times in your life so far have you discovered that something you’ve always assumed to be true has turned out to be a misconception or is just a scam, probably a new scientific discovery about something you just discovered have made you rethink a lot of things needing you to reconstruct your model of the world? The point is you can feed your brain your own beliefs, no matter whatever happens you can handle it.

Emotions (energies in motion) are like traffic lights that signal or indicate something, they pass some certain info that promotes order and progress. Imagine you are the driver in a car that understands these signals. Your Emotions are a feedback mechanism; they tell a story if you look at it critically you know.

Emotions are electrochemical signals that flow through us in an unending cycle. They are released in our brains in response to our perceptions about the world. Do you know there's an unheard-of medical condition known as Alexithymia? People affected just can't seem to identify their emotions.

11

P A R The Traffic light formula (PAR ) : Pause, ask why, remember.

Let’s imagine you’re on the road right now, inside your car with your hands on the steering wheel or someone is driving the car you are in and you’re looking out the window, the traffic light turns red. What action is next? Yes, you stop. How about when it turns Yellow? You get ready. What happens when the traffic light turns green? You proceed, isn’t it? These same three colors represent actions we must take when we feel emotions we'd like to change.

1) Red (Stop): Identify how you’re feeling. For really intense emotions; Is it Joy or Anger? Excitement or Boredom? (Practice the pause).

2) Yellow (Get ready): Recognize and be ready to understand or change those emotions (Ask yourself why you feel what you feel)

12

3) Green (Go): Proceed with an understanding of why you feel what you feel and how you can change what you feel by understanding the previous traffic lights (Remember you’re in control of your emotions, you’re thinking of your emotions right now and you have the power to change it.

Who knows, emotional accidents happen once in a while isn't it? I mean the times things get out of control that is. I hope you now understand your emotions a little more at this point?

Easy right? It isn’t that simple though. With practice, it becomes a sort of superpower, funny how everyone wants a superpower and we don’t use the ones we’re born with. I want to congratulate you though when next you’re in an emotional state you’d like to change, you can now think of traffic lights and feel a bit better if you remember the three steps and follow them through, you’ll remember them won’t you? It’s okay you can write it down: THE TRAFFIC LIGHT formula (Pause, Ask why Remember) PAR, sounds like Power, Yes? You’ve got the “PAR” now, let’s proceed on the journey, shall we?

You know I have this strange or should I say the weird approach to things, especially in areas I like to improve upon?

13

I know you've heard the saying that "you can't eat your cake and have it? Well, I'm the kind of person that tries to buy the dough, or should I say figure out where they make it, then learns how to bake a cake so that I can teach it or I try to learn how to make pizza just in case I get bored eating a cake.

I'm just saying it's possible to be a calm hot-head or a lively boring person, extremes always exist but this guide is trying to call your attention that there is an "in-between" that's possible, you just need to understand yourself.

Most of the time the most deadly martial artists or assassins look harmless, don't they? well, I've never met an assassin but I'm sure you understand the destruction these kind of people are skillfully capable of causing anytime they feel like it, but they still walk around like normal people, no?

14

WHY DO WE HAVE EMOTIONS? All aboard! Do you know a ship can only sink when it’s leaking? When water enters into it through leakage from anywhere, it sinks to the bottom of the ocean. Other factors contribute to the possibility of that happening.

There are a lot of reasons you feel what you feel too, but to a large extent you’re the one on the journey, you can learn to navigate, halt, proceed and most importantly understand the mode or means of transportation in whatever cruise you choose to embark on. Our emotions play three important functions: they prepare us for action, help us to organize our current and future behavior, and they help us interact effectively with others.

Let me put it simply: You are only as (fill in the blank with an emotion) as you choose to be. Let’s proceed and explore some reasons certain emotions are triggered, these are the most common reasons: 1. Environmental: Dirt triggers disgust, unsafe neighborhoods triggers fear, Neat environments trigger optimism

15

2. Physiological: Certain foods trigger different emotions 3. Social: Anxiety when speaking to large groups of people generally, that feeling of awkwardness around someone you like or respect 4. Psychological: certain colors trigger emotions, certain words trigger emotions, certain symbols trigger emotions 5. Physical: Pain indicates there is some harm being done to your body when you hurt.

6. Spiritual: Fear, gratitude, motivation, contentment, love, joy: these emotional states could have spiritual causes 7. Musical: This is the most associated with “good vibes”, the sounds you hear trigger emotions 8.

Heredity:

There

are

certain

emotional

tendencies

passed from parents to their children 9. Experience: there are learned emotions, fear, anxiety, distrust, loneliness, love, hate, belief, contentment 10. Growth: As you grow your emotional states change for better

or

worse,

being

nonchalant,

having

certain

attitudes triggered by different emotions and thoughts.

11 . Biological: This might be a little boring but just so you know, your emotions are caused by a series of chemicals and hormones produced in specific parts of your brain.

Generally, your emotions help you learn and quite literally dictate the quality of the kind of life you live.

16

The list is endless, it could go on and on and vary across different people and personalities, tribes and nationalities, the causes of so many emotions are so diverse, it’s possible to feel so many emotions at once without being able to identify exactly what someone is feeling. This book is a map that will help you navigate through the storms and chaos, but it won’t prevent them from occurring.

Your emotions motivate you to act, help you to avoid danger, help you make decisions, and help you understand yourself and others better. Our emotions are often caused by our thoughts which means two different people could be in the same situation but feel different emotions because they have different thoughts. Certain kinds of thoughts lead to certain kinds of emotions if someone thinks “I am in Danger”, that person would probably feel fear, or when someone thinks, ‘” I just got what I wanted, the person would probably be happy.

If someone thinks, “my friend just cheated me or treated me unfairly” that person would probably feel angry. Sometimes people feel emotions even though they don’t notice any thoughts related to them, it sometimes happens unconsciously.

17

HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR EMOTIONS You made it just in the nick of time! We were about to take off, this is your ticket to help you understand how to deal with these energies in motion, now that you understand what emotions are and why we have them, fasten your seat belt, this is going to be an interesting flight. I’m positive that now you know what you think about plays a big part in how you feel, remember when we we’re at vibe-Ville? Through the traffic light formula we learned you’ve got the “PAR”, remember, hope you didn’t forget the acronym “TEA” too? Well although those are ways to go about dealing with your emotions, let’s take a short siesta as the journey continues shall we?

1)

Know your emotions:

Let's try a simple experiment, get comfortable right now: pay attention and try to put a name to what you feel as you're reading this book. Probably you could focus on the reason you chose to read this book, on a scale of 1-10 from awful to fantastic, how do you feel about your emotional health right now? Don’t over-think it, just pick a number that feels right.

18

There is no right or wrong answer. Okay, now think about a friend who makes you laugh the most, just bring the name of that person to your mind, who’s your favorite comedian or your favorite funny film. Now flip back to the scale from 1-10 you were thinking of originally and check to see what number comes to mind now. It's a little better, right? Of course, it won't have all gone away and nothing would have been fixed, but in all probability, the number you first thought of will drift back to where it was, but for a moment you felt better just by thinking about something else that made you feel good didn’t you?

The point is, you have the power to choose what you think about, when you think about something that makes you feel good like the friend that makes you laugh the most or your favorite funny film, you feel better when you feel better you make clearer and better decisions.

Let's take another example, try to recall a memory of the last time you were offended by someone you don’t really like, remember exactly what was said at that time, or when someone was really rude to you, or at a particular point in time and it hurt you? How do you feel?

Very angry at that person right? You might notice a frown on your face right now if you have a mirror with you.

19

Probably you’ve had an experience of a parent shouting at you over a very negligible issue and you were quite angry? But if you thought about it that the person just might have lost some money and is frustrated stressed or someone just made him angry and he or she was just transferring the aggression to you? You’d kind of understand and you won’t be as angry right?

Have you ever lost something, which eventually made you frantically search the whole house, shout at everybody and even point out suspects that you believe very strongly might have stolen it, only to find it in a very safe place like under the chair or among clothes, probably in the car? Then after the whole drama you laugh at yourself and wonder what the whole stress was about, just because you thought someone took it from where you placed it or someone stole it?

What if you just calmly asked for help and didn’t cause the whole drama? I hope you now understand how important your emotions are and how even more important it is to know how it can be used to change your life. You can now handle anything that comes your way emotionally.

20

Can you see that your behavior will be dictated by your thoughts and beliefs about that situation and the consequences could be very different in each case? The outcomes will be driven by what you believe to be the case, now, here’s the brilliant part, what you’ve just discovered is that you can change your thoughts, in other words, you have changed your mind. Your feelings and behaviors change accordingly and automatically, and they change your actions, but first, you had to change your thoughts, the first ones that came to mind were default beliefs that accumulated due to experiences and the kind of environment you were raised in, beliefs about your situation which were brought up automatically.

Just like the way you brush your teeth or tie your shoelaces are habits. The next time you’re in a situation in which you reacted in a that you didn’t like you’ll find yourself responding confidently with this newly discovered superpower, one you’ve chosen personally which will help you when you’re tense, anxious, afraid or you want to feel more confident. You're starting to take control of your life because you’ve discovered you can choose exactly how you behave. You see, It’s not the event that gets in your way but the way your mind reacts to the memory of that event.

21

You’re going to love your life and the self you become through this simple and practical way you can try out immediately you will read to the end to find out just how true it is. Once you know what your emotions are, why you have particular emotions, and can identify ways to deal with them, you have gotten to a stage of growth that only gets better with time if you choose to continue learning about yourself and if you continue to make commitments to improve yourself. It’s not automatic,\ but with each step you take, each book you read to improve yourself, each question you ask and get answers to, you’ll enjoy the journey, because it is your life and nobody can live it for you.

Growth is a kind of happiness. My mother once told me if you have a problem, “read about it”! That advice is a basic principle that could contribute to dealing with your emotions, you’re here, and you just found the antidote to your problems. Daniel ally in one of his talks about success shared three key principles to achieve success.

22

a) Read more books: “All the books in the world can solve all the problems in the world, but the truth is that you don’t have to read all the books in the world to solve all the problems of the world because you do not have all the problems in the world, but we do have to read the books that help us solve our problems”. Learn or read books about what you want to know, money, spirituality, confidence, flirting, baby sitting, communication, you name it. A book has been written to address such problems, like this one you’re currently enjoying. Books are the tools that release the heavens in your mind, you have to read to succeed, leaders are readers, you become what you study. b) Watch who you associate with: Get around the best individuals you can, look at your 5 closest friends and the people you associate with. Do not have “default friends” search for people who are where you want to be c) Set high goals: make commitments, strive to grow and cultivate discipline.

23

It’s time to wake up! As we continue this flight, would like some delicious dessert though? Well, you’re going to enjoy these. Here is some insight into some of the most identifiable emotions: Anger: You are angry when you feel vulnerable, or when something you really care about is threatened. It is a normal emotion that everyone experiences from time to time and we all get angry for different reasons it could be due to the following and more:

a)

Deception, frustration, unfair treatment, environmental

temperature, feeling your goals are unachievable, grief, even a lot of stress can make you a bit tense and picky on everyone. b)

You can get angry when you feel cheated or when

something you care about is threatened, especially when you’re particularly secretly afraid or hurt. c)

Overwhelming requirements in time and energy,

relationship difficulties, traffic. d)

Heredity, disrespect of people’s feelings, current, past

and childhood experiences, abuse, losing patience, feeling as if your efforts aren’t appreciated. e)

Injustice, memories of traumatic or enraging events,

worrying about personal problems. f)

Financial issues, poor social or family relations etc.

24

g) Hunger too makes people angry, ever heard of the metaphor “a hungry man is an angry man”? Hidden shame could also cause anger or when something you’re insecure about is threatened.

Understand it is a call for help that something is wrong. Anger is a shy kind of fear that wears a disguise to make it look tough. It is dangerous when it isn’t controlled. It comes in different shades and intensities ranging from irritability, annoyance, hostility, to rage, violence, and aggression. It can be contagious and differs in people of various temperaments and personalities.

Identifying what triggers you and learning to talk about them, avoiding them, or ignoring them goes a long way in helping you understand your emotions, count 1-10 slowly before you address the issue or just take a chill pill and step away from the environment that triggers you, journaling helps too, it's okay to write down what you feel sometimes, it does wonders.

Jealousy: It’s no joke that everyone gets jealous in a while, the kind of admiration that sounds like a)

“I wish I had that too”

b)

“Why does it have to be only him or her”

c)

“Why are they the only ones that can…? Me too, why

can’t I…?”.

25

Sounds familiar right? Thought as much, we all have been guilty of it at one time or the other especially when we were younger right? One emotion leads to another, the perception of something being a threat to you or yours as regards possession, status or achievement is Jealousy.

It could occur in romantic relationships, friendships, in a family, or other social situations. It tends to trigger other basic emotions like anger, fear, and less commonly sadness. It is recognizable by suspicion.

Jealousy can be dealt with by not comparing yourself to others, being content while striving for more, and improving on personal weaknesses.

Sadness: You know those times that can be described as a really “not-so-happy-time”? It is experienced at stressful or somber times, several life events can leave people feeling sad: a)

The loss or absence of a loved one

b)

Divorce, loss of a job or income, financial trouble

c)

Issues at home can negatively affect one’s mood,

failing an exam, not getting a job, or experiencing other disappointing events can trigger emotions.

Relief can be felt from crying, venting, or talking out emotions.

26

It usually passes with time, if it doesn’t or if the person becomes unable to function, it could be a sign of depression. It also occurs as a result of overthinking or worrying too much.

Shame: There are some things about us we wouldn’t like exposed isn’t it? Shame occurs when your flaws are made evident and exposed to others and it happens due to negative evaluation, real or imagined. It is very obvious in situations that make you feel like burying your head and disappearing, it is an indicator that encourages the maintenance of social norms. Take note of what makes you ashamed, the less you talk about what makes you ashamed the more you give it power. It’s okay to share with people in your life. Watch whom you share such sensitive info with though; it can be used against you.

Pain: We all have felt pain at a point in time in our lives, a romantic heart break or a big disappointment, being bullied or being made fun of, being ignored or the feeling of being cheated on, not getting what we want in time; a lot of experiences are painful. We often wonder why we have to go through a lot of pain, but its a fact that the pain goes away if you learn a lesson or lessons from the experience.

27

When you’re hurt or feel emotional pain, try to ask yourself; "what can I learn from this"? it's okay to turn your wounds into wisdom, it helps you heal. Most of the time it isn't even your fault, but you know it is what it is, life happens. Are you ready to happen too?

Disgust: We’ve all seen something that makes us go like ughhhhh! Do you know when the face becomes all wrinkled up and twisted with disdain? Something similar to the reaction of seeing (Abasha or iyamakata)… might make those who understand laugh a bit. The universal trigger for disgust is the feeling that something is offensive, poisonous, or contaminating. We can feel disgusted by something we perceive with our physical senses (sight, smell, touch, sound, taste), by the actions and appearances of people, and even by ideas.

Surprise: It happens when you just can’t believe your eyes, surprise is one of the seven universal emotions and arises when we encounter sudden and unexpected sounds or movements. As the briefest of the universal emotions, its function is to focus our attention on determining what is happening and whether or not it is dangerous.

28

Loneliness: is an unpleasant emotional response to perceived isolation. Solitude is simply the state of being apart from others; not everyone who experiences solitude feels lonely. It is a subjective emotion, loneliness can be felt even when surrounded by other people; one who feels lonely is lonely. Relief from loneliness comes from genuine love and having people that understand you and help you grow around you, so go find them if you must.

One of my favorite quotes is “We’re born alone and we will die alone, so live a life full of love, it is the only thing that exists after our exit” and there’s another which states “Your challenges are your size” the completion goes “so level up”.

Boredom: That feeling of “joblessness” you know, like not having anything to do? Boredom is an emotional and occasionally psychological state, it is as a result of losing interest in your surroundings or when you feel that a day is dull or tedious, it’s that empty feeling that is highlighted by frustration, it is experienced when you’re left without anything in particular to do.

When you're bored, you may have a limited attention span and lack interest in what's happening around you. You may feel apathetic, fatigued, nervous, or jittery.

29

Boredom encourages creativity though, listening to music, dancing, drawing, writing a book, visiting your friends; everyone has a certain something they do when they’re bored from singing, to shopping, to going to parties or reading, try something new that you’ve never done before, it just might be one of your most memorable experiences.

Regret: Regret is a negative cognitive or emotional state that involves blaming ourselves for a bad outcome, feeling a sense of loss or sorrow at something that might have been, or wishing you could undo a previous choice that you made. For young people, in particular, regret, although painful to experience, can be a helpful emotion. It helps us to learn lessons and to encourage people not to make the same.

Guilt: We’ve all felt it at one time or the other, guilt is an emotional experience that occurs when you believe or realize—accurately or not—that you have compromised your standards of conduct or you have violated universal moral standards and you have to bear significant responsibility for that violation.

Happiness: Humans are social animals, and being around others is what causes happiness for many of us.

30

There's a scientific reason for that: Serotonin is more free-flowing when you feel important or valued by those around you. Giving loved ones and friends gifts, having zest and having a passion or love for what you do, showing affection by hugging loved ones, exercising, being part of a family, engaging in stimulating work, having the right perspective on life promotes achieving balance and radiance.

Growth is a kind of Happy, seeing a better and improved version of yourself really can be fulfilling, you just have to try it out. Of all the different types of emotions, happiness tends to be the one that people strive for the most.

Happiness is often defined as a pleasant emotional state that is characterized by feelings of contentment, joy, gratification, satisfaction, and well-being. So, 'just do you' and what makes you happy be prepared to take responsibility for the consequences though, good or bad that is.

Fear: It's not unfamiliar to be afraid once in a while, from the performance anxiety that comes before exams, to running away from public speaking or addressing a large audience or not being interested in traveling, especially at night.

There are extreme fears that are known as phobias that occur as a result of traumatic experiences.

31

Someone who has almost drowned once upon a time just might stay far away from water and strive to have his or her happily ever after you know? It's okay to feel the fear and do what needs to be done anyway, remember you can handle anything that comes your way. Fear helps to keep you safe but it shouldn't be a restriction, your fears point your attention to the things you care about the most, remember that.

Yes, you now understand that your emotions operate as a feedback mechanism, something like a thermometer, you can regulate the intensity if you think of emotions as measuring your energy in motion, a little like measuring your personal temperature don’t you agree? It's good to strive for balance.

Your emotions give you information about things you can learn from other people and yourself too. You can now predict the feelings you will have in the future as you engage in some activity or do certain things that will affect you positively or negatively. When a type of behavior has occurred, your emotions are intensified or reduced by the way you think about what you feel.

We all might have been in a situation that someone has offended us and as we think about how terrible the person is, even if it was an unintentional act, we get even angrier.

32

Seeing them around can even make the anger worse, but what if you thought about the fact that the offense might not be intentional, talking about it might even clear the air between both of you. Sounds practical right?

If you notice, you’ve learned something very valuable from this short illustration. You can learn to anticipate what actions will lead to certain emotions, and you can adjust your behaviors accordingly Remember that your behavior tends to produce certain emotions like if you smile more you automatically feel an improvement in your mood or if you eat well, you feel satisfied and if you set goals and achieve them you become more confident and feel happier. Your emotions can cause or influence your behavior, but it’s not directly and immediately that is widely assumed.

It’s really interesting to note that your emotions help you learn from behaviors, and this learning can benefit your behavior in the undefined future. The effect your emotions have on your behavior is indirect. You can identify and improve your behavior by critically looking at understanding how you behave when you have certain emotions or you can choose to behave a certain way to feel a certain way.

33

3) Build healthy coping mechanisms: What do you do when you have certain behaviors and you’d like to change them?

Here’s a table that will go a long way to help you understand your emotions and improve your life if you fill it and consciously and choose to make amends:

34

EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTERS? Life is one bumpy ride, isn’t it? A lot of highs and lows, pain mixed with happiness, several disappointments and accomplishments, special people come and go, memories are made, and sometimes even regret could invade the peace of mind we crave, the pictures we wish we took, the experiences we just don’t want to remember, overthinking everything and second-guessing? There should be a purpose to it all, isn’t it? What makes life beautiful is that we are on a journey to learn, the more we make our growth intentional the more we all understand how beautiful the world is. It’s up to you to take note of your thoughts, your behaviors and to consciously practice what you got from this book.

The moment you drop this book, as soon as you’re done with it remember you’re growing and learning and you can continue likewise. It's okay to not have it all figured out yet, the answers to the numerous questions will be found along the way. It’s fun to enjoy the ride and understand that true happiness is found between the pleasure and pain. Fear can later turn out to be very exciting, that’s why most people watch horror movies right?

35

What we love and have a natural tendency to be attracted to can be indicators of our talents and things that eventually make us happy and brings us fulfillment, what makes us weird makes us unique and that’s vital you know?

Have you ever had experiences that were painful at the moment you were experiencing them but right now, you can look back and be sincerely grateful you passed through those particular experiences? I’ll give you some time to think about it. Yes, you’ve had some experiences like that right? Well, those experiences are part of what makes life a little messed up but colorful. Do note that some people feel more deeply than others and some human beings have hearts of steel.

Most times those that are usually labeled as emotional are just people that feel deeply or are a little more sensitive than others. Overreacting emotionally is a consequence of experiencing a similar situation that has hurt or taught someone a lesson before, you know the once bitten twice shy thing? Yes, it's the reason people could be unnecessarily rude probably because a previous experience has painfully taught them that those that are polite are seen as weak, or the particular lady that hates guys so much just might have been heartbroken a lot.

36

if someone reacts very aggressively to a prank or joke and you’re like what’s the big deal, why is that person so uptight? People go through a lot and don’t want painful experiences to repeat themselves. I hope you now understand how what you feel plays a very important role in the quality of life you and those people around you live? it's nothing new that growth is in stages and it's important we outgrow a lot of things as we grow up, isn't it? we all need to "grow as we grow" right? That's why it's possible to be all grown up but still behave like a baby sometimes, does anyone come to mind? On a lighter note, I know you know that it's true that people ought to improve right? Well, you're correct. Whatever your answer is, people usually improve only and only when they choose or want to.

Imagine someone used to crawling, in this case, that wo,uld have to be a baby right? But imagine if a grown-up insists on moving around by crawling every time, trying to run, jump and even walk long distances and everyone keeps trying to tell the person or call his or her attention to it and the person keeps going like, "that's how I am, you better accept me like that". Pretty funny right?

37

That person would feel like the whole world and everyone is against him or her, well you might not be crawling currently and I'm sure you usually walk on two legs except if complications arise but at a certain stage there has to be a time you consciously accumulate certain skills, you can become an emotional ninja after you finish reading this book today, you'd be surprised at how powerful you'll feel if you practice all you've come across on this journey.

Now, this is actually for you and you alone, please note you can't always influence the way people behave towards you or change how many people almost always seem to be all over the place and usually out of control, you now understand your emotions isn't it? There should be a difference between you and them. Be the bigger person, but it's okay to take no-nonsense once in a while.

I usually do no harm, but I accept no evil too.

Like you may discover eventually, this book is a practical guide, taking action is important. It has to start from your mind first, it is easy but it isn't simple and it takes a lot of "consistent practice".

Your dreams can come true, everyone has one.

What's yours?

38

You've been very patient and I hope you found what you we're looking for in this book or something close, every tree was once a seed. it's time to make a decision to plant something worthwhile.

Have you had experiences you can’t specifically pick a word to describe the way you were feeling? Here are a couple of words in other languages you just might relate to: 1. Gigil (Tagalog) – the irresistible urge to pinch or squeeze someone because they are cute loved or cherished 2. Natsukashii (Japanese) – a nostalgic longing for the past, with happiness for the fond memory, yet sadness that it is no longer; like the good times before a romantic breakup 3. Torschlusspanik (German): The agitated, fretful feeling we get when we notice time is running out; like trying not to miss an appointment or a flight.

4. Pena ajena (Spanish) Experiencing peripheral mortification for someone else's embarrassment, like feeling the effect of a hard slap or a kick to the groin of someone else.

5. Forelsket (Norwegian): The indestructible euphoria experienced as you begin to fall in love.

6. Dolce far niente (Italian): The pleasure of doing nothing.

7. Koi No Yoka n (Japanese): The sense upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall in love

39

8. Kaukokaipuu (Finnish): The craving for a distant land; the desperate yearning to be somewhere you’ve never even visited, or the desire to be anywhere but where you are right now.

9. Mehameha (Tahitian): Fear associated with the uncanny sensation experienced in the presence of spirits, ghosts, and other supernatural phenomena; that strange "is someone-behind-me?" feeling, then you look but nothing is there, and you're like "oh, I must be imagining things".

10. Oime (Japanese): The intense discomfort of being indebted 11. Sisu (Finnish): An extraordinary determination in the face of adversity; the willingness to persevere through tasks that are hard or even just boring; að jenna (Icelandic); sitzfleisch (German).

12. Torschlusspanik (German) It means the searing panic feelings one experiences when they suspect opportunity windows close with age; the I'm getting old, i-hope-I'll-still be-able-to-find-someone-to-marry' feeling 13. Age-otori (Japanese): The bad feeling one gets after a terrible haircut 14. Abbiocco (Italian): The sleepy feeling you get after a big meal 15. Ei viitsi (Estonian): The feeling of slight laziness, can’t be bothered by anything.

40

16. L’appel du vide (French, “the call of the void”): The feeling of walking along a high cliff and being gripped by the urge to leap or the itch to fling yourself in front of an oncoming train, or to just jump into a well.

17. Iktsuarpok:(Inuit) Feeling anxious about visitors arriving, so much so you can't just stop looking through the window 18. Nighthawk: a recurring though that only seems to strike you late at night 19. Liberosis: The desire to care less about things.

20. Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.

21. Textpectation: The anticipation felt when waiting for a response to a text.

22. Wanderlust: A strong desire for or impulse to wander or travel and explore the world 23. Basorexia: The sudden urge to kiss someone.

24. Bedgasm: A feeling of euphoria experienced when climbing into bed at the end of a very long day.

25. Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.

26. Gwenders: That tingling feeling you get in your fingers when they’re cold? That’s gwenders.

27. Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat

41

28. Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.

29. Chrysalism: the peace you feel when indoors while it rains.

30. Ruckkehrunruhe: The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.

31. Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.

32.. Mal de coucou: when you have an active social life but few close friends.

33. Cacoethes: The uncontrollable urge to do something that is not advisable 34. Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place 35. Nouement: The bitter-sweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

36. Vemodalen: the frustration of having to choose one from many identical pictures, like during a photoshoot..

37. Paro: the feeling that whatever you do, something always goes wrong 38.· Ellipsism: A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.

42

Hello there!

I'm Bright and I'm a health worker.

I'd like to share life-changing tips with you, have you heard of the brand called Vytalique? it's all about food, stories and everything in between

Click on the links below to check out what's in store for you and more below now!

i n s t a g r a m : b i t . l y / 3 3 b c G 1 m F a c e b o o k : b i t . l y / 3 D E m F J 6