The Blade Mental Health Issue by Tiffany Reynolds

THE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUE | SPRING 2021

UNIVERSITY OF DISAPPOINTMENT

A SURVIVOR'S STORY

The effects of a college conundrum on the Class of 2021 | page 1

A firsthand account of what it's like to survive a school shooting | page 17

LET'S TALK ABOUT OCD A discussion with Chaplain K | page 9

COVER ART BY DYLLAN LARMOND

CONTENTS Disclaimer: Some of the content may be sensitive to readers. Your discretion is advised.

THE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUE:

A NOT-SO-LONELY PLANET

01 UNIVERSITY OF DISAPPOINTMENT

15 PIECE OF ME

05 SPIRALING

17 A SURVIVOR'S

STORY

LET'S TALK ABOUT OCD

19 BEYOND THE

YOGA MAT OCD: THE PANDEMIC PERSPECTIVE

23 SUICIDAL STIMULATION

STAFF Alina Noorani '21 Editor-in-Chief Carly Breland '21 Butterknife Editor Yasmin Khan '21 Creative Director Alexis Rogers '21 Features Editor Maya Packer '22 Junior Editor Elizabeth Yu '22 Junior Editor Dylan Jordan '21 Staff Writer

Jackson Fryburger '21 Staff Writer Brooke Barrow '22 Staff Writer Marcus Gray '22 Staff Writer Hannah Marte '23 Staff Writer Sithini Chea '24 Staff Writer Mrs. Tiffany Reynolds Adviser

CONTRIBUTORS Lekha Koganti '21 Writer Ava Shutze '21 Writer Josie Pickett '20 Blade Alumna Aspen Andrews '20 Blade Alumna Isabella Orkin-Emmanuel '22 Art Dyllan Larmond '21 Art

HEE TTH DIITTO OR R''SS EED WO OR RD D W Summer’s approaching, and with the end of another

Ava Shutze dives deeper into the broad topic of

school year in the pandemic, The Blade staff endeavored

anxiety by explaining how it affects her personally, and

to do a deep dive exploration into mental health. The

especially how she copes with it.

articles in these pages all include concepts that you are

Aspen Andrews documents an Upper School

most likely familiar with. However, even if you know the

student’s struggle with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

terminology behind the concepts, these articles are here

(PTSD) after surviving a school shooting and the student’s

to debunk misconceptions and to give you, the reader,

current healing process as they move forward in life.

the chance to step into some shoes that fit a bit differently than those you are used to. There continues to be this notion that negative mental health is only an excuse, a cone in the middle of

Lekha Koganti uses her own experiences with meditation to teach us its origins and how to go about practicing its many different forms. Finally, Breland wraps up our issue by calling

a road that one could easily move. But, it’s so much

attention to the wrongful depiction of suicide in

more than that. Our mental wellbeing is such a big part

Hollywood.

of our lives because our mindsets can determine so

The Mental Health Issue has been in the works since the

much, each and every second of the day. Before we start

beginning of my junior year. Just as last years’ editors-in-

our days, we must have the drive to get up. Before we

chief were planning on releasing this issue, a global

follow through with an action, we must feel some

pandemic closed the possibility for the production of this

comfort, even if that comfort is in the risk of the action.

issue for the 2019-2020 school year. As we revisited the

For some folks, it comes much easier, but we’re not

issue for production this year, our staff felt there was so

measuring our journeys against somebody else’s with a

much for us to update in regards to the pandemic’s effect

yardstick. This issue aims to start a conversation.

on mental health. Yes, this issue comes out during your

Carly Breland reflects on the high school class of

finals week/start of summer, and you may think not to

2021’s college application process; documenting new

read it at all. However, The Blade staff altogether urges

roadblocks that make this application year go down in

you to read these accounts.

history, she discusses the effects that this infamous season in college admissions had on our seniors. Josie Pickett’s exploration of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder spans the perspectives of a student at Woodward and our schoolwide Chaplain Katelyn O’Dunne in order to cover the widely unknown grounds

Maybe you will see your own struggle reflected; perhaps you will feel empathy for those who struggle. More importantly, maybe you can be part of challenging stigmas and changing the dialogue about mental health. This issue has been two years in the making, but the conversation continues to stay just as important.

of what OCD is and how OCD can affect someone in many ways.

Alina Noorani EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

iii

WELCOME TO THE

UNIVERSITY OF DISAPPOINTMENT By Carly Breland

This year’ s college admissions process has been more unpredictable than ever before, and the class of 2021 felt the harsh reality of applying to schools in a pandemic. Universities are seeing some of the largest application pools in their histories, leaving limited spaces for the senior class that has already had to face a seemingly endless stream of disappointments. In December, the Harvard Crimson published the shocking numbers for Harvard University’ s incoming class. As one of the most selective colleges in the country, even Harvard had a decreased acceptance rate, the lowest early action acceptance rate in Harvard history. Of the roughly 1,700 available spots for freshmen, 349 of these spots were already reserved for students who applied last year and decided to defer their enrollment in hopes that the pandemic would be on the decline by the fall of 2021. Harvard University is not a totally accurate portrayal of admissions statistics because of how difficult it is to get in, no matter the year. However, it was not only Ivy League schools that had to be more selective than usual. The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill is a public university that saw a significant increase in applications this year as well. This year’ s application pool was 21% larger than last year’ s, with a significant increase in out of state applicants. With less available spots due to students who deferred enrollment and a sharp increase in competition, students applying to colleges this year faced perhaps the most selective year in recent history. The temporary test optional policy that the vast majority of colleges adopted in response to the pandemic is partly responsible for such steep increases in applications. While there are some students who were unable to take the

ACT or SAT, many students opted out of sending their standardized test scores in order to be a stronger candidate for admission. Before, getting a low score would almost certainly bar someone from getting into a highly selective university, but since it is not a requirement for this year, students with undesirable scores are profiting off of the policy. Most applications are sent through the Common Application, which published this year’ s data indicating that only 44% of students decided to include standardized test scores in their applications.

I worked really hard to get a good score on my SAT, and then it just ended up not really mattering," - Darya Nayebi Darya Nayebi '21 was in the minority of applicants that still sent their scores, though she felt that her efforts were somewhat wasted on standardized tests. “I worked really hard to get a good score on my SAT, and then it just ended up not really mattering because so many people could apply without it,” Nayebi said. “I don’ t know if [sending my test results] ended up hurting me because I had a good score, but I don’ t think it ended up helping me either. I probably put in all that time for nothing.”

Will McEntee '21 was one of the many students who opted out of including his test scores because he did not think it would help his chances of getting in. “I didn’ t like my score, so I didn’ t want to send it,” said McEntee. “I think they should keep [the test optional policy] because a lot of people are not the best test takers.” Applying to colleges by the early application deadlines can give students an advantage by demonstrating interest early in the process, though many found that the early applications were still not enough. “I applied early decision to Vanderbilt and didn’ t get in,” Payton Cottingham '21 said. “It’ s hard to weigh your options when other years were so different from this year. I thought maybe I had a chance of getting deferred from Vanderbilt, but in retrospect, I wouldn’ t have even applied.” Nayebi had a similar experience with selective schools during the early application process. “I applied to most schools early action, and I got deferred from Georgia Tech, which was my top choice,” Nayebi said. “I was pretty confident that I was going to get into schools like Georgia Washington University and University of Georgia, but I got wait listed at both.” “If I could redo things, I would 100% do it differently,” said Cottingham. “I would have reorganized where my priorities were just because acceptance rates are so much lower this year, and the regular decision pool was really not a great place to be.” Alina Noorani was severely disappointed with her college decisions. After applying to fifteen schools, she received far more denials than expected. “I was sure that some of [the schools] were well within reach for my extracurriculars and my SAT score,” said Noorani. “There were plenty of schools I did not expect to get denied from, and I don’ t really know why [I did].” “I just have had a lot of regret over some decisions that I made. But the thing is, I know I’ m a hard worker. I also kind of just know that maybe this happened for a reason.”

Wait listing is a step up from denials; colleges also offer a spot on the wait list to strong applicants that could still gain admissions, but wait list decisions do not come out until the end of June. This late release date can make it hard for students to find roommates, so not everyone offered a position on a wait list accepts the offer. “I didn’ t join the wait list at Davidson or [the University of Virginia],” Cottingham said. “It felt like [it was] splitting hairs, and I wanted to be able to get excited about where I was going.” Nayebi was the opposite of Cottingham and optimized all of her options, including the wait lists. “I joined all three wait lists [that I was placed on], but I’ m trying to get excited about Maryland because [getting off] the wait list doesn’ t have great odds. “I am a little less excited to start the next four years because I’ m going somewhere I didn’ t expect to be,” said Nayebi. “I’ m just grateful that I go to a school where even with [the pandemic], I still got into a good college that I can get excited about, and we still have a lot to be thankful for.” “My friend applied to Boulder [last year] and got wait listed, so he applied for room and board late and had to live off campus, and I think that would kind of [stink],” McEntee said. “I got wait listed at Boulder, but [I think] they had a lot more applicants this year, so it’ s just not ideal.” Senior year has turned out to be a much different experience than any of us expected, and the unpredictability of college admissions has placed another challenge in front of a class that has already been disappointed. Despite the difficult reality of rejection letters and uncertainty for the future, the Class of 2021 has maintained a positive morale in the face of these obstacles. “In the grand scheme of things, I view college as a stepping stone into what I’ m going to be as an adult,” said Cottingham. “I’ m going to use these institutions to benefit me and not define me.”

GNILARIPS 5

Image by Isabella Orkin-Emmanuel

An Exploration into High School Mental Health

By Josie Pickett

Imagine being forced to expose yourself to an environment on a daily basis that you were deeply afraid of. Imagine living in a world where you perceived deadly killers to be lurking on every surface, clinging to you and your belongings and following you home from school so that there was no way to escape. While people today are much more accustomed to paying attention to the ways in which we expose ourselves to germs due to COVID-19, I want you to think back to just a few months ago when you never thought twice about hugging a friend or borrowing a pencil. For some people, like Oliver Vettoretti '20, the invisible threat of germs was never a distant fear or a virus-induced phase. It was a daily reality for years. The route of his fears was not medical, but psychological. According to the International OCD Foundation, about 1 in 200 kids in the United States are living with OCD. They say that a medium to large high school could house up to 20 students living with the disorder. OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, is a mental disorder that occurs when obsessions, unwanted thoughts, and compulsions, or repetitive behaviors meant to ease distress due to

unwanted thoughts, take up a large amount of someone’s time or take them away from activities they value. Obsessive thoughts typically fall into 1 of 6 categories: contamination, loss of control, harm, perfectionism, unwanted sexual thoughts or religious obsessions. Compulsions may include washing and cleaning, checking, repeating and mental compulsions. Individuals who suffer from OCD may experience obsessions and compulsions in many of these categories at once, and their OCD can become a debilitating factor in their lives, stopping them from doing important activities, such as going out with friends or even succeeding in school. Oliver Vettoretti knows first hand how hard it can be to attend school while struggling with OCD. “I don't think people realize the extent to which it can control your life,” said Vettoretti. “My grades weren’t that good. I didn't have a lot of friends freshman year because no one wanted to be friends with the weird kid.” People can develop symptoms of OCD at any point in their lives, but it usually appears in 8- to 12-year-olds or in people between their late teens and early adulthood. Vettoretti began experiencing symptoms when he was 8 years old, but like many people, it took years for anyone to recognize his disorder, and it took until his freshman year of high school for him to be officially diagnosed. “When I was younger I'd always have weird habits like having to sleep with a certain arrangement of stuffed animals and blankets. It was like if I didn't have my blanket, I wouldn't go to bed. I'd flip out and go crazy looking for it,” said Vettoretti. Eventually, the focus of Vettoretti’s obsessions shifted. He began to fixate on the idea of never throwing up. “I remember one time when I was like 10, someone told me ‘It's mind over matter. If you don't want to throw up, you won't have to.’ So until I was 15, every night, literally every night, I would whisper myself to sleep. ‘I will not throw up,'” said Vettoretti.

Vettoretti’s parents attempted to help ease his mind by buying him probiotic pills from CVS. He took them in excess as a part of his compulsions in order to ensure that he would not throw up. However, compulsions, such as taking the probiotics, do not resolve obsessions; they just contribute to the cycle. Vettoretti’s OCD evolved, and his compulsions worsened yet again. “[My OCD] came to the point where I started losing a lot of weight because I wouldn't eat if I couldn't see the expiration date,” said Vettoretti. I wouldn't eat at school. I wouldn't eat at friends’ houses. I wouldn't eat out. I would just eat at home because I wanted to make sure that the food was still good.” OCD can be influenced by other stresses in a person’s life, and when Vettoretti’s life changed, his disorder followed. “I think as I got older, I realized throwing up comes from germs, so I became a germaphobe, like really bad, and that started freshman year actually,” said Vettoretti. “[The change] had to do with a combination of stress because I was new freshman year.” Students with different forms of OCD can be impacted by the disorder in a variety of ways, and it is important to note that, although cleanliness and organization are some common types of OCD, they are not the only themes through which the disorder can express itself. However, because Vettoretti’s obsessions became centered around germs and contamination, his compulsions developed to address those issues. Vettoretti’s story showcases the challenge of attending school with OCD. He became convinced that every object at school was contaminated because the school itself was full of dangerous germs. “I would lay out paper so that my computer wouldn't touch the desk,” said Vettoretti. “I'd lay out paper all over my desk so that none of my stuff would touch the desk. If I touched a door handle, I would need to go wash my hands or use hand sanitizer. If I touched the desk, I would need to go get hand sanitizer. All of freshman year, every single day, no matter how hot it was.

I knew what I was doing was embarrassing, but I was freaking out inside. - Oliver Vettoretti

I wore a sweatshirt to school so that I wouldn't have any of my limbs touching anything at school. I wouldn't really like want to hug my friends because it’d just freak me out.” Vettoretti’s OCD also began to impact his relationships with both his peers and his teachers. “Sometimes teachers put their hands on your head or something like that, right? [A teacher] put her hand on my head, and I would go like get hand sanitizer and rub it in my hair in front of my whole class,” said Vettoretti. "I knew what I was doing was embarrassing, but I was freaking out inside. I did get made fun of a lot for [my OCD], and to be honest, my teachers never did anything. Kids would literally like throw things at the back of my head in my classes.” His OCD impacted his social life outside of school as well, and Oliver recalls a time when his twin brother, Jake, grew frustrated with him for his obsessions. "Jake got really annoyed with me because my OCD stopped us from doing a lot of things, just because like I was like super particular. And so he stabbed me with a pencil. It didn't even hurt that bad, but a tiny piece of lead like snapped off, and I started screaming, bawling, crying and took off my shirt, like just rolling around like absolutely screaming like freaking out, and I remember saying that ‘the school germs were inside me,” said Vettoretti. Because of this encounter, along with other experiences at home, Vettoretti’s mother helped him get treated for his OCD. There is only one method of treatment that reliably works for people with OCD, and it involves the patient repeatedly exposing themselves to the things around which their obsession center.

“[OCD treatment] is kind of like immersion therapy,” said Vettoretti. [You have to ask yourself] ‘what germs on like this table would really freak me out, like are actually going to hurt me, that I have reason to be scared of?’ [Recovery] has just been a slow process for me, like not washing my hair every day because like that's not good for your hair or not washing my body twice. So now I'm at a healthy point where I'm like a normal germaphobe but I can hug my teachers. I can hug my friends. I can shake people's hands. I can open doors. I can wear short sleeves. I can let my arms rest on a desk. I'm okay with my backpack coming into my room. Just stuff like that. So it's just become a lot easier for me because now it's like I can have a normal life at school. That might sound like I'm exaggerating, but literally having OCD that bad at school where there are germs everywhere is extremely hard to live with.” Around the time he began treatment for his OCD, Vettoretti began to develop two eating disorders. He was not comfortable with the way his body looked, and he became determined to change his appearance however he could, including adopting unhealthy behaviors. “I lost weight super fast because I wasn’t eating, and I was doing tons of cardio,” said Vettoretti. “Then I started weighing myself every day because I got a fitness tracker. I synced it with My Fitness Pal, which counts your calories. I was diagnosed with orthorexia, which isn't officially a clinical eating disorder yet. It's a new thing where it's like you're obsessed with eating healthy, but you have a false notion of what healthy is. I cut out like all carbs, all sugar, all fat, so I was just eating vegetables and protein and that's it. It was super hard because you're starving all the time, but you're not like really wanting to eat.” Vettoretti was also diagnosed with bulimia, and he talks about his struggles with the eating disorder openly, hoping that someone reading this will be able to recognize similar behaviors in their friends and help them seek out treatment.

“I started doing water fasts and lemon juice cleanses,” said Vettoretti. “They're actually really terrible for you. Every Friday, I'd have like a huge meal, binge and absolutely stuff myself with ice cream, donuts, pizza, to the point where I literally couldn't eat anymore. It felt like my stomach could explode. Then I wouldn't eat for Saturday, Sunday and Monday. I would just drink water" It took Vettoretti a long time to get treatment, partially, he feels, due to the widespread assumption that eating disorders are for girls. His parents and friends did not recognize his dangerous behaviors because often, boys are simply applauded for putting effort into their physique, regardless of what form that effort takes. “A lot of dietitians put out resources under sections like the women's center or female issues. It is a female issue, and not saying that a man's issue is more important, but they're equal because lots of guys suffer from eating disorders. They don't realize it, and no one around them realizes it, so it gets super bad. I would start crying at restaurants because I like couldn't figure out something healthy. I couldn't decide if [meals] were healthy enough for me or not,” said Vettoretti. As Vettoretti’s condition worsened, he knew he had to take action to care for both his physical and mental health. “I was in a lot of mental pain. I was always struggling,” said Vettoretti. I ended up recovering from both my eating disorders because I reached out to the owner of a gym, and she's a nutritionist. I was like, ‘please, I need help. I literally can't live my life like this anymore, it's debilitating.” Vettoretti worked hard to overcome his eating disorders. However, even after he was able to address his dangerous eating habits, he found that his disorders’ effects still lingered. “I did recover from both my eating disorders, but even then, it's still hard after you have an eating disorder really for like six months,” said Vettoretti. “It's hard to eat normally, because it's a mindset.” .

When looking back on his struggles with mental health, what stands out to Vettoretti is the sheer lack of outside intervention and the lack of support he felt he received at school. He does not blame his peers, but instead the larger culture that allowed his dangerous behaviors to go entirely unnoticed. “I see disordered eating habits in a lot of people around me. When I try to point it out, of course someone's going to get mad, because it's like an insult to them if someone says you have an eating disorder,” said Vettoretti. “People just need to be more comfortable with talking about them, and also recognizing them as a real issue. I felt like no one around me understood or could relate or thought of it as a real issue.” Vettoretti believes that one take away from his story should be that Woodward as an institution must do more to combat disorders such as his in its students. He believes that having students, like himself, who are comfortable speaking about what they have been through could play a vital part in creating an environment that is more open to communication. “I think Woodward doesn't do a good job with it really. In M3 week, we focus on suicide and depression a lot, and they're important, but I feel like we don't even go about it in effective ways. We bring in a speaker, but really, for you to understand, you need to have a peer tell a story. I'm going to be honest, At Woodward, no one understood or did anything for my OCD and eating disorders. It's such a big issue in boys and girls in high school who are literally in the prime time of their lives to develop an eating disorder, and we do absolutely nothing to talk about it.”

For more information about OCD and how to reach out for help, flip to the Mental Health Q+A with Chaplain Katelyn O 'Dunne.

LET'S TALK ABOUT OCD

AN INTERVIEW WITH CHAPLAIN KATELYN O'DUNNE

By Josie Pickett

Although she has struggled with OCD for almost all of her life, Chaplain Katelyn O’Dunne has recently become very involved in the OCD community through her work with the organization OCD Georgia and has begun to fill a new role as an educator and advocate for mental health. According to their website, OCD Georgia “was founded in 2011 to increase awareness of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and its treatment, to provide information to Georgians with OCD and related disorders and their families and friends, and to offer OCD educational and outreach programs to mental health professionals and the Georgia community. Through providing resources at the local level, the goal of OCD Georgia is to help reduce the time it takes people

suffering from OCD to find the right treatment.” Chaplain K aims to educate people about the variety and gravity of the disorder. She wants people to understand that OCD can take many forms in a person’s thoughts, including worrying they have somehow harmed their loved ones unknowingly. No one who experiences these obsessions as a result of OCD has actually done anything wrong, and that would be obvious to anyone else. However, when people perceive their thoughts as too dark or wrong to share, they are less likely to seek help, and their OCD can go untreated for years, sometimes for even more than a decade. Chaplain K also seeks to make the Woodward community more aware of the way they use language surrounding mental disorders, and how their words may impact those around them.

Josie: Can you talk about your work on the board of directors? Chaplain Katelyn O’Dunne: I am very excited to take an active leadership role on this board as I help advocate for those battling OCD and help encourage research-based treatment for OCD. Last year alone, OCD Georgia awarded scholarships, sponsored training for OCD therapists, provided trainings to over 250 clinicians, offered teen and family workshops, and led OCD peer groups. I’m excited to be a part of this amazing and fulfilling work, as I deeply understand the suffering this disorder can cause. I’m also honored to begin work with all of the compassionate individuals on the board who battle OCD and the talented professionals who treat this disorder. J: Why did you decide recently to become more openly involved in the OCD community? CK: I have experienced symptoms of OCD since childhood and have honestly been through almost every OCD theme imaginable. Many people assume OCD relates to organization and is some cute quirk, but that has never been my experience. Rather, there have been points of my life where the intrusive thoughts and compulsions were so bad, it was difficult to get out of bed, eat, sleep, or move through daily tasks. I didn’t receive the appropriate treatment (Exposure and Response Therapy) and officially move into recovery for the first time until my 20s. It takes many individuals more than 10 years to receive effective treatment, which leads to so much unnecessary suffering. While I was lucky to receive help and have a great support system, I experienced my most difficult OCD relapse in 2019. Without delving too far into the details, I will say that my OCD made life very painful and in many ways made me dislike myself. I didn’t want anyone...at Woodward or beyond...to know how much I was suffering. I went to treatment in the evening, worked very hard to continue joyfully/compassionately with each student and just did my best to keep moving forward.

And yet, this time of struggle and moving into recovery once again has offered me a new purpose and a renewed passion for life, as I’ve begun to deal with my own shame of battling mental illness due to a strong desire to appear perfect. In 2018, at the annual OCD conference, I specifically filled in the box that said no photos could be taken of me so that only those at the conference would know I was there. And yet, things are different just over a year later. I want my students to know that despite all appearances, nobody has it all together all the time and there is absolutely no shame in getting help. Even chaplains/counselors/teachers need outside help sometimes - and that’s okay. My battle does not make me incapable of serving as a leader in any way, nor does it diminish anyone’s ability. Rather, I think that my struggle has allowed for deeper empathy for the struggles of those around me. I love my vocation more than anything, And in part, I’m beginning to voice my journey more publicly for my students that face stigma around mental illness and other personal struggles. I want to combat the shame associated with getting help, and I want to promote understanding about what OCD actually is, as opposed to the cute quirks we often see in the media. J: You mentioned that OCD is often misrepresented in the media. What are some misconceptions about OCD?

CK: I often hear individuals say, “I’m so OCD”....meaning they organize things in a particular way or are very neat. I constantly see “how OCD are you” tests on social media and even have friends joke about my “OCD” making me a strong leader. But in reality, my OCD has nothing to do with leadership, organization or tidiness. Rather, the symptoms and irrational forms it has taken have stolen large chunks of my life. Since OCD has taken so much of my life and the lives of many I know in advocacy, it is very difficult when people make light of OCD as a cute quirk. In reality, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is characterized by obsessions, which are repeated, unwanted intrusive thoughts...and compulsions, which are behaviors aimed at reducing the discomfort associated with these thoughts. Common obsessions can relate to contamination, health, harm, hyper-responsibility, false memories, religious scrupulosity, moral scrupulosity, relationships, sexuality, and beyond. There are thousands of compulsions (both physical and mental) to alleviate the stress associated with whatever the current obsession is, such as checking, avoidance, mental review, counting, reassurance seeking, and beyond. Obsessions and compulsions look very different for each person, and many do not experience the cute and helpful types you see in movies and TV shows. Rather, most individuals I have gotten to know through work in OCD experience unique, taboo obsessions...as OCD tends to latch onto the things that are most important to each person, and yet the obsessions are fundamentally imaginary. You can trust OCD obsessions about as much as you can trust filters and lenses on snapchat! As much as a person with OCD knows their obsessions are irrational deep down, they crave absolute certainty about all situations. The high level of insight around this irrationality paired with the seeming inability to stop carrying out compulsions makes the disorder that much more painful. But the good news...OCD has a highly effective research-based treatment.

I have become very passionate about the treatment for OCD and want to help everyone in need find appropriate help...so that they can live the joyful lives they deserve to live. J: What does OCD treatment look like for most people? How can it be done wrong? CK: The only evidence-based treatment for OCD is Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), which is under the umbrella of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. According to the IOCDF, the Exposure in ERP refers to exposing yourself to the thoughts, images, objects and situations that make you anxious and/or start your obsessions. The Response Prevention part of ERP refers to making a choice not to do a compulsive behavior once the anxiety or obsessions have been “triggered.” Many therapists also combine ERP with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Mindfulness. In addition, there are specific medications prescribed by a specialist that can enhance and supplement treatment. Therapies that might be useful for other conditions, such as trauma therapy, EMDR, hypnotherapy, talk therapy, and psychotherapy are not recommended for OCD and can actually make the condition worse. There is little awareness of evidence-based treatment around OCD for practitioners outside of the OCD community, so it is so important to see an OCD specialist who is trained in ERP. J: What could Woodward do a better job with in regards to mental health? CK: We are so lucky at Woodward to have amazing counselors leading the charge in mental health initiatives. I am thankful for the support our counselors offer to students each day and the hard work of our M3 team in planning mental health awareness week. But combating stigma is not just the job of the counselors and M3 team! I would love to see more students supporting one another, talking about their mental health, and empowering their peers

to reach out for assistance if necessary. I would also like to see students continue to do their best not to use phrases like, “I’m so OCD,” or other phrases that stigmatize those experiencing bipolar disorder, depression, schizophrenia, PTSD, and other mental health diagnoses. Nobody is perfect, and I do not believe anyone means to do harm through these comments. But articles like this help raise awareness, and once we have the knowledge, it is our responsibility to do our best with both our actions and our words. J: Do you have any advice for students with OCD? Can you speak about how you lived with and managed your OCD in high school? CK: My themes have changed quite a bit since high school, but every theme throughout my life has felt real and catastrophic in the moment - stealing upwards of 10 hours a day at its worst. In all honesty, I coped but didn’t effectively manage my OCD until adulthood. In high school, I didn’t fully understand that I had a problem or that there was an effective treatment. I was just surviving each day, which ultimately led to it getting worse. I always heard obsessions about cleanliness or tidiness in the news, and that wasn’t my experience, so for a long time, I didn’t even realize I had OCD. I want to encourage students to reach out for help through a therapist trained in ERP and through certified peer support. I also want students to know that they are never alone. OCD can produce extraordinarily taboo and terrifying themes. I am always here, and your counselors are always here. There is absolutely nothing you can tell me that I will judge you for, and I will always support you and walk with you. J: How can people help their friends with OCD? CK: I would encourage students to support their friends in an empathetic, non-judgmental way. At times they might be defensive, but let them know you are there without judgment. If you friend is in treatment for OCD, ask them what helps and what doesn’t help. If they are not currently in treatment, ask what you can do to support them by going to the counseling office together or by simply encouraging them to reach out for assistance. J: Is there anything else you’d like to share? CK: Individuals with OCD are 10 times more likely to complete suicide, and 5 times more likely to make an attempt. OCD is not a cute quirk but can be a terribly debilitating condition. And yet, there is completely effective treatment that can give those with OCD their life back. While I have experienced some bumps in the road, I am so thankful that there is effective treatment for OCD. I wholeheartedly understand that at low points, it might not feel possible. But I know from experience that with the right assistance, those battling OCD can live joyful, compassionate, wonderful lives.

THE PANDEMIC PERSPECTIVE Alina Noorani: When quarantine started, it caused massive uncertainty as to when things would go back to normal, if it would be safe to go out and buy the bare necessities for staying in. As that has heavily affected many people's mental health, how would it affect someone who has OCD? CK: The pandemic has been a struggle for so many individuals, as it created such a great deal of uncertainty in the world. I know that many of our students have struggled with their mental health, particularly in periods of isolation and quarantine. For those battling contamination and health-related themes of OCD, there was definitely a struggle with the real-life spread of illness in the midst of COVID. However, in my experience, OCD treatment really prepared me for the pandemic. OCD is the “doubting disorder,” as sufferers strive for the impossible goal of certainty. As a result, the gold standard first line evidence-based treatment for OCD is Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), which falls under the umbrella of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The Exposure in ERP refers to exposing yourself to the thoughts, images, objects and situations that make you anxious. The Response Prevention part of ERP, refers to making a choice not to do compulsive behavior once the obsessions have been “triggered.” ERP is challenging and uncomfortable, but it essentially rewires your brain and teaches you to tolerate uncertainty, even with the unlikely potential of your most terrifying obsessions coming true. I spent so many years getting “comfortable being uncomfortable” that the pandemic felt like another exposure to me. It actually gave me a chance to use my OCD treatment tools to help others struggling with uncertainty for the first time.

A: From someone who has OCD, what were your first thoughts when everything shut down in March? How did you get through a day in quarantine, and what were some ways that helped you stay calm throughout all of this?

CK: When everything shut down in March, I had just returned from a trip with other OCD advocates to Colorado over Woodward’s Spring Break. Pretty soon afterwards, everything changed. I was experiencing uncertainty in my personal life, in addition to the pandemic, but continued to fall back on so many of my tools from OCD treatment. In particular, another modality of OCD treatment focused on living into your values (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy or ACT) helped me to focus on my actions each day, as opposed to my feelings of discomfort. Without invalidating my own feelings, this helped me to choose ways to live into my values (like playing ukulele or connecting with students), even on days that seemed tough. I also made the choice to use many of these skills in the classroom with my students and in my chaplaincy. By encouraging self-compassion in others, I was able to stay more calm and live into my own values. A: On the subject of your work this year, tell me more about your mental health awareness project based in various religious communities? CK: A deeper focus on my values throughout the pandemic led me to dive even deeper into OCD Advocacy. I have served on the OCD Georgia Board for the past 2 years, but I just began working as an ambassador on the national level for the International OCD Foundation during the pandemic.

With the IOCDF, I am currently helping to develop new programming around faith and mental health. Unfortunately, faith communities and mental health practitioners do not always have the best relationship. My goal is to encourage a deeper understanding of mental illness within diverse religious communities, while fostering positive, collaborative relationships between religious practitioners and mental health providers. This will occur through conference, training, newlydeveloped resources, and relationships. As an ordained minister and interfaith chaplain who battles mental illness, I feel like I have a commitment to help all communities of faith recognize that spirituality and clinical mental health treatment do not have to be mutually exclusive. Rather, my faith is so significant to my recovery, and evidence-based treatment saved my life. I am currently applying for a doctoral program with a specific focus on spirituality and mental health. Ultimately, I hope this will give me the credibility to decrease mental health stigma in all faith communities. This work will even occur at Woodward with our South Asian Affinity club, as I am bringing individuals from Muslim, Christian, and Hindu backgrounds [together] to share about their experience on navigating OCD within their families and larger communities. A: Josie touched base on a lot of your advocacy work for OCD, but with everything that has happened this year, how has your work changed? Regarding treatments or just general wellbeing checks, how are things being tailored to the pandemic? CK: Even just a year ago, I was fairly private about my own battle with mental illness. I was worried that I would be “judged” or that individuals would look at me differently, especially as I experienced a challenging OCD relapse in private in 2019 while serving in my role at Woodward. And yet, the pandemic has encouraged me to speak up about mental health so that nobody feels like they are alone. I want my students to know that despite all appearances, nobody has it all together all the time and there is absolutely no shame in getting help.

Even chaplains/counselors/teachers need outside help sometimes - and that’s okay. My battle does not make me incapable of serving as a leader in any way, nor does it diminish anyone’s ability. Rather, I think that my struggle has allowed for deeper empathy for the struggles of those around me. I love my vocation more than anything! And in part, I’m beginning to voice my journey more publicly for my students that face stigma around mental illness and other personal struggles, especially during the pandemic. As a result, my classes have become much more focused on daily emotional check-ins and check-outs to let students know we can address anything together. A: Do you have any advice for students affected by OCD in getting through high school in the midst of a pandemic? CK: My biggest piece of advice for students affected by OCD (during the pandemic or any other time!) is to reach out. You do not have to do this alone. We have an amazing team of counselors at Woodward who are always ready to help. I am also always here to help families navigate local resources for evidence-based OCD treatment, and it’s been an honor to help many students find help since I’ve shared more publicly about my story. I didn’t receive the appropriate treatment (ERP) and officially move into recovery for the first time until my 20’s. It often takes many individuals more than 10 years to receive a diagnosis and effective treatment, which leads to so much unnecessary suffering. But there is so much hope - I promise! I am always here to walk with you on your own journey. This pandemic has been so tough, but you are even tougher. I truly believe each one of the students at Woodward are amazing and strong. Give yourself lots of compassion, but it is also a great time to reach out for help if necessary. I am sharing so that you know even chaplains/counselors/teachers need outside help sometimes - and that’s okay. I am also sharing my story specifically because I believe YOU deserve to get help as you claim the beautiful life you deserve, both during and beyond the pandemic.

Piece of Me

By Ava Shutze

Image by Isabella Orkin-Emmanuel

Because anxiety looks different for everyone, it can be difficult for others to understand. I don’t think any definition or analogy could ever perfectly capture what it means to have anxiety, but if I had to describe mine, I would say something like this . . . “Imagine you’re at the beach along the water’s edge, enjoying the perfect vacation. As you wade into the ocean, a vaguely familiar lifeguard comes up beside you. Even though you swam on your high school team and there are thirty other lifeguards around, the lifeguard tells you that you will drown. You brush off the caveat and enter further into the water. The lifeguard catches your arm and stops you, this time pointing out the swarms of sharks and venomous jellyfish in the water’s depths. You look out into the clear water and see no creatures for miles. Then the lifeguard warns that the waves will pull you under the surface, and no one will be able to save you; the lightning will strike you, and you’ll never be able to swim back to shore. Once again, you look out onto a calm surface of blue; your friends and family are waiting for you to join them; the sky with no clouds in sight echoes the calm below. The lifeguard repeatedly whispers “Do not go.” “Why?” you ask. “You will get hurt,” the lifeguard says. “Your nightmares will awaken. You’ll be caught in an inescapable catastrophe.” Even though you know you’re completely safe, you believe the lifeguard. So, you don’t go into the water. The lifeguard joins you at the table far from the ocean to ensure you never dip your feet in again. The lifeguard is how my anxiety usually operates — it is supposed to keep you safe, but sometimes it can keep you too safe. It can prevent you from living your life if you let it. Not everyone will understand why you cancel plans last minute or leave an event early. Not everyone will understand why it’s difficult for you to speak up in class or talk to your friends even to just say hello, why you’re hesitant in crowds and in restaurants, or why you seem distant or uncomfortable in seemingly “easy” or “unscary” situations . Not everyone will understand your anxiety, but that does not mean they cannot be there for you. Sometimes I fear I am too much myself, yet if the fear were ever to go away, I’m afraid I would no longer be myself.

A Survivor's Story

By Aspen Andrews On what was thought to be a regular Wednesday, it was 2:00 pm when the fire alarm blared and echoed down the halls of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. As students began their routine exit plan to leave the building, the alarm rang again – followed by gunshots. Children start to escape from the line and search for the nearest hiding place. Jenna Jones* found a classroom to hide in, and she finally heard the all clear. “People were crying, calling their parents, and you could just hear the gunshots echoing throughout the hallway,” Jones said. A shooter had opened fire on Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, on February 14, 2018. Jenna Jones, a junior at the time, found herself inside the building at the time. Jones did not attend Stoneman Douglas, but she happened to be there that day to prepare for a recital that would occur at the school that weekend.

“I wasn't supposed to be at the school,” Jones said. “I was just doing a small little setup, and I was supposed to be at my school.” Jones, caught by surprise by the gunshots and paralyzed with fear, hid in a vacant classroom. Shortly after, other students came in and hid alongside her. Immediately after finding a hiding spot under the teacher's desk, she texted her parents to tell them what was going on. “Don't call me, I think there's a shooter on campus,’” Jones wrote. ‘“I love you so much. It's going to be okay.’” After she sent that text, she shut her phone down. “I didn't want to get on the phone and worry more,” Jones said. “In case the shooter did come into the room, I didn't want to have them on the phone hearing that.” The students were not allowed to evacuate the school for about two hours, but Jones lost track of time while she was hiding.

Image by Isabella Orkin-Emmanuel

People were crying, calling their parents, and you could hear the gunshots echoing throughout the hallway,” Jones said. Stoneman Douglas is one of the most well known mass school shootings due to the horror of the event. Although time has passed since the shooting, the mental effects have been long-lasting for those that were there. “The first six months after the shooting, it was really bad,” Jones said. “I wouldn't want to leave my house because I'd be too afraid of what's going on out there.” To help her cope, Jones’ parents placed her in therapy. Her therapist helped her talk through exactly what happened and helped her find coping mechanisms. After a few months of one-on-one therapy, Jones’ therapist suggested she join a therapy group with other shooting survivors. “It's really interesting to get to hear that we're all so different,” Jones said. “We all came from different bad situations, but it was really nice to hear that they all understood what I was going through. We were just able to help each other cope and find new mechanisms.” Jones stayed in the group until she moved to Atlanta, and she still keeps in touch with the other group members. “You hear the pain in their story, and you hear how upset they are,” Jones said. “You think it could never happen to you–it could never happen to someone you know your age– but it does.” The group opened Jones up by talking to other people. She had this realization when her group was helping another member who was struggling with suicidal thoughts. “We were all afraid that they were going to hurt themselves,” Jones said. “So we were all just able to be there for them. That was probably the moment I realized that, in times like this when everybody is scared, you have to put yourself around other people.” Many people have either become desensitized or simply don’t understand the gravity of the horrors that students and teachers experience from a school shooting, and that became apparent to Jones in her daily life after.

“I was walking to my Spanish class, and someone in the hallway yelled, ‘Someone's got a gun, get down,’ and I had no idea who it was,” Jones said. “For me, that was so terrifying, and I had a panic attack.” Although those students probably thought they had been joking, such a situation is not a joke. It is a reality for Jones and many other people who have been caught in the crossfire of violence. “How can you make a joke out of people dying?” Jones said. “How can you make a joke out of your school being shot up? I feel like people should respond to situations like this and try their best to make change in their community. They also shouldn't just completely ignore it and make fun of it.” Throughout the past years, people have become much more aware of the severity and reality of school shootings, yet instances of mass violence still seem to occur, particularly this past year. “It's made me a little disappointed in progress in America,” Jones said. “I really hoped that that shooting was going to change everything, and it did for a while. But only up to a certain point.”

*Editor’s Note: The Blade usually does not permit anonymous quotes, but due to the sensitivity of the situation, “Jenna Jones” is used as a nickname to maintain the anonymity of our interviewee.

BEYOND THE YOGA MAT Redefining Yoga As a Way of Life BY LEKHA KOGANTI While the word yoga might conjure up images of feats of flexibility and complicated postures, the ancient practice of yoga extends past stretching the body to complete understanding and mastery over the mind. In and of itself, yoga is a vast science of the body and mind, and it encourages us to look deeper within ourselves and connect with the life around us. In fact, the term yoga originates from the Sanskrit word “yuj” and literally means “to yoke” or “union.” As founder of Integral Yoga Swami Satchidananda states, yoga traditionally refers to the mental science of Rāja Yoga founded by Patañjali Maharishi. It is also known as Ashtanga (eight-limbed) Yoga for its eight branches: yama (restraints), niyama (observances), asana (posture), pranayama (breath control), pratyahara (sense withdrawal), dharana (concentration), dhyana (meditation), and samadhi (superconsciousness). However, there are many other branches of Yoga, such as Hatha Yoga, which is the yoga of asana, or posture, but is commonly mistaken as the entirety of yoga in the Western world. In addition, yoga is sometimes also believed to be intrinsically tied with Hinduism, which is not the case. “Yoga does not adhere to any particular religion, belief system or community; it has always been approached as a technology for inner wellbeing," said Dr. Ishwar V. Basavaraddi Ji, Director of Morarji Desai National Institute of Yoga.

But how can we bring yoga from an abstract concept to an everyday, experiential reality? The answer can stem from something ultimately simple yet fundamental to life: food. A regular yoga practitioner (in its holistic sense), Gowri Nadella ‘22 draws on her experience with the Isha Foundation, a global humanitarian organization dedicated to physical, mental, and spiritual wellbeing, to explain. “I think it's very important to eat in a way that will fuel your body,” Nadella said. “Looking back, my entire life I've pretty much known what foods are better for my body and what foods are not— like I just remember every time I would eat potato chips, I would get a headache and just not feel very good compared to when I ate fresh, organic fruits and fresh cooked meals. You just feel so light, and just capable.” Like other Isha practitioners, Nadella strives to follow the yogic method of conscious eating, which emphasizes paying attention to the changes in the body and mind based on different foods over caloriecounting. Fresh, natural food is especially important as it is said that cooked food will cause inertia to set into the body if it is not consumed within a few hours. In addition, the different digestion times of foods is vital to consider: while a fruit will take less than three hours to digest, cooked meat will take two to three days. Just imagine leaving out a piece of cooked meat for two days— that same rotting is what takes place inside the body.

Maya Steele ‘21 expands on the importance of making the right food choices to focus her mind and lead a productive day. “When I eat food that’s better for me, I’m more ready for the day, and my mind is less fuzzy and more clear,” Steele said. Conscious eating may not be an explicit limb in Raja Yoga, yet it is an underlying step necessary for a peaceful, powerful mind. Likewise, dharana and dhyana— concentration and meditation— can be a powerful technique to heighten the mind’s potential and curb the inability to focus or “fuzzy brain” phenomenon that many students face. Meditation has also scientifically been shown to boost attention, to help us react better to stress, and to deepen compassion, according to mindful.org. Meditation can look different for everyone— by focusing on the breath, body sensations, or specific visualizations, one can calm and even transform the mind. However, not everyone finds meditation as easy as it sounds, like Naina Reddy’21 of Alliance Academy. “It's hard for me to sit still in one place and clear my mind when there is so much for me to think about,” Reddy said. Others are unfazed by the stillness of meditation but still experience

fluctuations in tangible results from the practice. “I used to do a ten-minute [meditation] video every day in the morning, but I stopped because I kept falling asleep 9 times out of 10,” Steele said. “When I would stay awake, I found it extremely helpful, and it really prepared me for the day.” Practicing meditation consistently, akin to constant practicing needed for sports, may alleviate difficulties like falling asleep or not being able to sit still and transform meditation into a rewarding experience.

Photo of and by Lekha Koganti

DR. ISHWAR V. BASAVARADDI JI:

YOGA DOES NOT ADHERE TO ANY PARTICULAR RELIGION, BELIEF SYSTEM OR COMMUNITY; IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN APPROACHED AS A TECHNOLOGY FOR INNER WELLBEING. Director of Morarji Desai National Institute of Yoga

“After [practicing meditation], [my] perception [of it] completely changed,” Nadella said. “It's definitely not difficult at all. There's a huge depth to it and a big science that I didn't understand until I started doing it.” In fact, Sri Patanjali originally includes asanas as a branch of yoga as a means of preparing the body for meditation. According to the American Osteopathic Association and the University of Washington, asanas not only stimulate blood circulation and oxygen to all parts of the body, but also aid in mental focus and wellbeing. Although practicing yoga in an in-person class was no longer an option because of COVID-19, Steele still attends Zoom classes (albeit less frequently). “I felt a lot cleaner, less tightened, and I think yoga really helps clear my brain,” Steele said. Nadella practices a more rigorous form of yoga offered by the Isha Foundation called Surya Kriya that activates the solar plexus and balances the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems. While flexibility may seem to be a requirement to practice yoga, her experience demonstrates otherwise. “I just physically was never very flexible when I first started, and after doing it for so many years, there's definitely an ease I feel now,” Nadella said. “It definitely comes with practice and time.”

But for those that are still dubious, a way to start is by simply keeping the spine straight when sitting, walking or during any other activity. Although we may be tired of hearing “Don’t slouch,” slouching impairs organ functioning, as well as the efficiency of blood circulation, according to the Isha Foundation and Spine and Health Chiropractors. “Once I started working out, I became more proactive and started thinking about myself more, like what I should eat, how I should exercise, and how to use time more wisely,” Reddy said. “I feel fresh and much better internally. [I realized that] in order for me to feel good at the end of the day, I need to be more productive and increase positive thinking.” Extending positive thinking and mindfulness throughout the rest of the day may seem like a chore, but its ability to possibly boost the immune system and relieve insomnia according to studies is promising. Also playing a role in the branches yama and niyama, the concept of mindfulness signifies “the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us” according to mindful.org. For me, it meant choosing to live consciously rather than falling unconsciously into the monotony of a daily routine. Although I’m not perfect at it, mindfulness has helped me act when presented with “negative situations” rather than react, which— at least in my experience— only starts a cycle of frustration or moodiness whose effects ripple to those around me. It has expanded my gratitude for small things that I used to take for granted and my appreciation for the many levels of interdependence in my life. I have only just begun to realize that my morning smoothie bowl is not just the product of my efforts but is dependent on the diligent labor of farmers, the bountiful love of Mother Earth and a global transportation system that I am not even aware of.

I fully understand that mindfulness and positive thinking cannot happen overnight, but many resources are available as a guide, such as the apps Headspace, Reflectly, or Grateful. Or you could tackle this challenge from positivepsychology.com: choose one activity to conduct mindfully that you usually don’t pay much attention to (like eating, showering, or walking) and actively reflect on physical sensations and emotions. Nadella’s inspiration is Sadhguru, the founder of the Isha Foundation as well as mystic and visionary. Not only does Sadhguru seek to bridge the gap between ancient yogic sciences and modern life through Isha’s programs, he is an influential speaker on issues ranging from leadership and socioeconomic development to wellbeing and sustainability. “Instead of feeling like there’s so many things I'm forced to do, it's like now I get to do these and what a privilege it is,” Nadella said. “Sadhguru talks a lot about just being grateful for waking up every day and what a privilege it is to experience life, and I know I've definitely taken that and applied it into my own life.” Likewise, Steele believes in positive thinking and is implementing it into her mentality, one step at a time. “My parents are big believers in the ‘what you say is what happens’,” Steele said. “[Especially with] how I see myself, if I think negative things about me, it becomes overwhelming. I try to say and think things that are positive— I’m not really good at it, but I’m getting better at it.” Through this constant practice and a zeal to grow a little every day, we can unlock the potential of the mind and realize the essence of yoga, which according to Swami Satchidananda, is - “total transformation of a seemingly limited physical, mental, and emotional person to one filled with permanent peace, joy, and selfless dedication to the entire creation.”

Image by Dyllan Larmond

Someone is telling our generation to kill themselves. Who is to blame for this new suicide epidemic plaguing our peers? The culprit hides behind tweets and television shows: while nobody is explicitly suggesting suicide, there is plenty of inspiration at the click of a button. The media business is becoming a literal cut-throat industry with a dangerous new game of aestheticizing mental illnesses at the expense of vulnerable, undiagnosed teenagers. Suicide is now the second leading cause of death for teenagers according to recent research conducted by the National Center for Health Statistics. Today’s kids are killing themselves at an alarming rate, leaving behind confused parents and haunting Instagram posts. The tragedy connected to suicide and self-harm is often seen as a devastating act of martyrdom, evident in age-old literature like “Romeo and Juliet.” However distasteful some may find joint suicide, Shakespeare certainly is not the last person to romanticize death. Not without controversy, Netflix’s series, “13 Reasons Why,” brought a skewed perception of suicide to a young audience, only warning viewers with a short disclaimer before portraying an on-screen suicide and unwarned depictions of selfharm. The series is centered around the idea of revenge suicide, which has sparked a domino effect of young people killing themselves out of spite. A study conducted by the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry shows an alarming spike in teenager suicide after the premiere of “13 Reasons Why;” the concept of suicide as payback is newly introduced by this ‘thought-provoking’ and ‘conversation-starting’ stream of dangerous content that is nearly impossible to moderate. According to the study, a 29% increase in adolescent suicide followed the month after the release of the first season. The incentivized idea of suicide is allowing teens to identify with problematic characters and themes, making it is difficult to know how these portrayals affect individuals. According to the spike in statistics, the audience as a whole has quickly turned to replicate some of the most breath-stopping scenes of their bloodiest favorite content. The truth of the stigma around mental health is that it no longer scares us. Countless assemblies and conversations have led us to a point of understanding, so this ‘destigmatizing’ content is really only profiting off of an old taboo subject that will always turn heads. I spoke to my therapist, Meg McLeroy LMFT, about the influence of media on vulnerable teens. I asked her, from a professional perspective, how exactly is this unregulated content shaping the view of mental health?

By Carly Breland

“It could land in one of two ways,” McLeroy said. “They may see suicide as being dramatized and as a way out.” Kids “just want to be understood.” If it perceived in this way, “it might be seen as a solution to current pain. That [is] what concerns me the most about the way it is represented.” McLeroy also said “seeing that other teens struggle with some of the same things can be very validating.” It is an incredibly fine line to walk between helped and hurting at risk kids with proper representation. “I have seen some glorification of [mental illnesses] that is disturbing, but, on the other hand, I have seen helpful information out there,” McLeroy said. While positive information is available, it is impossible to regulate accessible content, which leaves a gray area of what has the potential to help viewers rather than hurt them. No matter the parental locks or minimal-effort ‘I am 18+’ buttons, we will always be able to access the graphic, gruesome content aimed at younger and younger audiences to generate reactions and ultimately word of mouth advertising. As expressed by McLeroy, there can be benefits to knowing that you are not alone. The rise in mental health awareness has helped thousands of people get professional help with their struggles. Seeing others speak up about suicide prevention and their personal struggles ignites a feeling of community in those who feel broken. Proper content provides a sense of hope in the most irremediable of people. Healthy portrayals of mental illness should not convey suicide as an act of revenge or an attentiongrabbing act of heroism. Rather, awareness of mental health challenges should offer a helping hand to grab onto when you feel like you are drowning in an unseen illness. The only thing that needs to die is the idea that suicide should ever be used in an entertainment setting, and I hope that the next producer that considers basing a show on mental illness will consider the death toll that it could create in its wake. In the wake of a worldwide pandemic, socially responsible individuals are quarantining themselves at home. These close-quarters can be a stressor of mental illnesses, so it is important that we all take care of ourselves, as well as each other, during these unchartered times. If you are feeling particularly alone, reach out to your counselors or trusted teachers. Please take care of your heath, but don’t disregard your mental wellbeing.

Even though you may feel lonely on this planet, remember you're not alone