THREE MILES WEST
THE 2012/13 SEASON IN REVIEW
THE THREE MILES WEST AWARDS
THREE MILES WEST
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THE
CONTENTS PAGE
The End of Season Review
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A recap of an unpredictable nine months at Whitley Park, chronicling the highs and lows encompassing the highs and of the campaign lows of the campaign
Up For The Cup
2/13
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An in-depth, photo-laden report on Allotment’s triumph in the Ernest Armstrong Memorial Cup
Three Miles West Awards
END OF season review
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Who will take home individual accolades after a strong collective effort? Find out inside!
1992/93: The Title Decider(s) 18
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It went down to the wire against Seaton Delaval Amateurs - and required two title play-offs
Bigger Than Bale?
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Allotment’s winger on his goalscoring secrets - and how he stacks up to the Welsh wizard
Just Onside
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Luchador Hoggy’s pre-season revenge ritual, and the spurious awards that players may not want to receive... Welcome to the special commemorative edition of Three Miles West, reflecting on the highs and lows of the 2012/13 campaign. The Ernest Armstrong Memorial Cup serves as the jewel in Allotment’s impressive crown, following a rather enjoyable end of season resurgence, Inside, we’ll be reflecting on the campaign, savouring the cup final victory, honouring the club’s top performers, casting our minds back to an equally enthralling end-of-season final, comparing one of our best talents with the Premier League’s finest, and considering one coach’s possible change in career. Don’t worry, Wilf’s going nowhere. Our thanks go to all of our sponsors for the season, who have helped to supply the magazine, and to you, the readers, for creating the demand for such a publication. Your collective support keeps us going. We hope you enjoy this edition as much as we’ve enjoyed the season. See you all bright and early in August!
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THE TEAM Craig Dobson Stephen Allott Jonny Thompson
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The End of Season Review THE HIGHS AND LOWS OF THE dramatic 2012/13 CAMPAIGN at Whitley Park
August 4 GAMES PLAYED - 2 WINS - 1 DRAW - 1 DEFEAT - PLAYER OF THE MONTH: DEAN LEE
It all started so well for Allotment. The campaign kicked off in earnest one week before the start of the Northern League season, hosting Selby Town in the opening round of the FA Cup. Celtic did not disappoint, seeing off the North Yorkshire outfit in a far more comfortable manner than the 2-1 scoreline would suggest. The first day of the league campaign had the lads travelling to Seaham Red Star. Three times Allotment went behind, but they came back every time. The final goal Tony Lancaster’s injury-time equaliser - had opposing manager Mark Collingwood spitting
September
blood and some choice obscenities, as Celtic crept away from Town Park with a point. They travelled further south four days later to take on Stokesley, where red cards and floodlight failures were the order of the eve. Allotment took full advantage of the former, with Lee and Stoneman putting the sword to the tenman home side. Allotment took that momentum to Division One titans Spennymoor Town in search of an FA Cup windfall, but were soundly beaten 3-0 by the ruthless Moors. Their third and final goal came after Stoneman sustained a nasty-looking flesh wound. In the spirit of Monty Python, he refused to let it keep him sidelined, and was back within a fortnight.
7 GAMES PLAYED - 1 WIN - 2 DRAWS - 4 DEFEATS - PLAYER OF THE MONTH: MARC DUMMETT
) .W. (a C e p Ryho 1 loss 7-
White
have 1 - 0 n (a) loss
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Despite their cup setback, Allotment continued to play good football. They would have picked up three more points on the road at Darlington, after Liam Hudson looked to have won it for the visitors, but a moment of madness from Pendlebury gifted the Railwaymen a share of the spoils. After three games away from home - and with five points in the bag - Celtic finally played their first home game of the league season, barely bettering a lacklustre Ryton side to win 2-1 on the day. Disaster soon struck the club in the worst position of all. Goalkeeper Aiden Ames injured himself prior to a tricky tie against Crook Town - and deputy Gareth Powell had departed the club just days earlier. Desperate, Allotment called upon fresh-faced Sean Page of Seaton Delaval Amateurs. The rookie had a torrid time between the sticks, conceding two soft goals in a match that Celtic otherwise dominated. Strikes from Hudson and Lee kept
THREE MILES WEST MAY 2013
Allotment firmly in it, only for a Stephen Little own goal to cap a painful 4-2 defeat. Events went from bad to worse, as Stoneman and his men hit their lowest ebb at Ryhope. The Wearsiders were always touted as a dangerous side, but nobody could have expected the 7-1 rout which followed. Daniel White, another temporary stopper, could only look on for most of the goals, as WiWnn and Butler plundered the back four at will. Many of the players refused to pick up their pay packets, and, understandably, few remained behind for a drink. When a side hits rock bottom, good fortune can be hard to come by, and so it proved away at Chester-le-Street. Denied two clear penalties and guilty of profligacy, Celtic had to settle for a draw in a game that was theirs for the taking. A narrow 1-0 defeat at Whitehaven rounded out the most miserable of months, but, with newly signed ‘keeper Ryan Beal steadying the back four, Allotment could begin their recovery in earnest.
October 6 GAMES PLAYED - 4 WINS - 1 DRAW - 1 DEFEAT - PLAYER OF THE MONTH: IAN DUNN
After enduring a month to forget, Stoneman and his staff hoped to avoid a frightening recurrence in the witching month. The visiting Chester-le-Street were welcome opponents, serving up very few tricks in the League Cup tie. However, the fans weren’t treated to a good showing from the second-string Celtic side, who struggled to adapt to the unusual 5-3-2 formation. Only when the system was reverted, and Lee and Reid were introduced from the bench, did the hosts secure their progression, courtesy of the latter’s last-minute penalty. It would be the first and last time that Celtic would attempt to become the Napoli of the Northern League! Allotment hadn’t quite turned the corner, and walked into another wall when Washington came to town. A defensive slip gifted the Mechanics the opener, and although David Dormand bagged his second in two games to level proceedings, but Dan Young put the visitors back ahead in the 23rd minute, and Washington comfortably held on thereafter, despite Stoneman desperately deploying himself as a centre-forward in the last five minutes. The committee kept the faith, and were duly rewarded with a performance that turned the club’s season around. After a series of unconvincing performances and often disappointing results, Allotment would have preferred an easier draw in the Northumberland Senior Cup. Instead, they faced Division One side Newcastle Benfield at Whitley Park. The two sides were evenly matched throughout the first half, but an unlikely 25-yard piledriver from captain Ian Dunn gave Allotment the kick that they so desperately needed. Further goals from Lee and Dormand made it look easy against a stunned Benfield side. Buoyed by their newfound confidence, Celtic trounced Thornaby on their own turf. The 2-0 scoreline flattered the hosts, who barely tested Ames in the Allotment goal. At the other end, a converted Reid spot-kick and a powerful Hudson finish guaranteed the win, as Celtic showed glimpses of their potential. It would also be the first game that Reid would play in central midfield, rather than attack - a position he would soon master. Ryhope were next to visit Whitley Park, but would not be afforded
the same generosity from their opponents the second time around. With the scores tied at 1-1, Ames again went down injured, and left-back Marc Dummett donned the ‘keeper’s gloves and jersey. The deputy performed well in his new role, but could not prevent Winn from scoring a close range finish. Allotment looked a markedly different side to that on Wearside one month prior, and hit back with another unlikely screamer from an unlikely source. Right-back John Pendlebury let fly from a full thirty yards, finding the net by way of the underside of the bar. The hosts held on for a precious point against one of the division’s most prolific sides. Normal service resumed four days later against Whickham. With Beal back in goal, Allotment secured yet another 2-1 victory, as Dormand and Hudson both fired their way onto the scoresheet in front of their increasingly optimistic home support. Towards the end of the month, Allotment lost one of its leading lights off the pitch. John Jackson had served the club for over 45 years in a number of capacities, and was widely loved and respected, not just at Allotment, but also in wider non-league circles. Hundreds of messages of support came in from across the North-East, with former Northern League referee Mark Clattenburg even commending the impact that ‘Jacka’ had had on his professional career. Tenacious and not afraid to question any dubious refereeing decisions, John was always proud to be associated with West Allotment Celtic, and continues to be sorely missed.
For Jacka 2 1942 - 201
Wash
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MAY 2013 THREE MILES WEST
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November 7 GAMES PLAYED - 3 WINS - 1 DRAW - 3 DEFEATS - PLAYER OF THE MONTH: DAVID DORMAND
Following on from the tidy performances of October, few could have predicted a month quite like November. Allotment scored 24 goals and conceded 20 at the back in seven games - and only one of those fixtures was close. The trip to promotion contenders Jarrow Roofing was a short one, but home must have felt desperately far away by the end of the afternoon. Ian Dunn had put the visitors ahead with another powerful strike from the edge of the area, but the Roofers hit back midway through the first half. With the game finely poised, Allotment folded like a pack of cards, conceding four second-half goals as Jarrow ran riot. To add insult to injury, one of the goals was scored by Celtic defender Little, who inexplicably prodded high into his own net whilst under no discernable pressure. Allotment didn’t have to wait long to make amends for another embarrassing defeat, and went some way to banishing the humiliation from memory with a thumping 4-0 win at Alnwick Town. Two Dormand strikes, another Dean Lee goal and one from an unfortunate Alnwick defender handed Allotment an easy victory - but it came at a price. Captain Dunn was shown an unnecessary straight red for violent conduct, marring what was otherwise a good night oop north for Celtic. Four goals were served up by both sides in the next game at Whitley Park, as Morpeth more than matched the hosts in terms of firepower. The Highwaymen looked to have robbed Allotment of the opportunity to pick up points, having scored two early goals in the first half. But the home side, inspired by Kallum McGlen, soon drew level, as the winger’s precise crosses were converted by Dormand and Hudson respectively. The latter grabbed his second before half-time, completing a gutsy first-half turnaround, only for Lee Scott to level before the interval. Reid looked to have sealed all three points in a topsy-turvy encounter with a fine effort from outside the box, but calamitous defending handed Morpeth the point on a plate. Pendlebury’s header could - and should - have gone anywhere but square, but the full-back nodded it inside regardless, where Scott pounced to grab the latest of levellers. How would Allotment react to the last-gasp disappointment? With
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a seven goal drubbing of Division One side Billingham Town in the League Cup. Michael Bell and Dean Lee helped themselves to braces, whilst Stoneman, Dormand and even Marc Allen got onto the scoresheet as Celtic ran amok, to the delight of the Whitley Park faithful. Two consecutive routs did not look on the cards at Tow Law when Scott Brassell gave the home side the lead. However, Allotment soon adapted to the churned turf and chilly weather, and Dormand’s well-taken brace gave the visitors a slender lead at the break. Not to be outdone, Dean Lee fired in two goals of his own as Allotment went through the gears, leaving the hapless Lawyers behind. There was even time for sub David Henderson to bamboozle the defence and chip in a delightful fifth. Riding high on the crest of their own confidence, the Tynesiders were soon brought back down to earth with an almighty bump, by none other than their closest rivals. North Shields were the visitors, and, despite the first half being close by all accounts, the Robins put six past the despairing Beal. Celtic then suffered their second home drubbing in almost as many days, against Northallerton Town. This time, the collapse was total, as Celtic let in two goals either side of half time. The result rounded out an utterly perplexing month for West Allotment Celtic. They might have hoped to recover against relegation candidates Horden Colliery Welfare, but Mother Nature’s intervention put paid to that plan. It would be a forboding sign of things to come.
THREE MILES WEST MAY 2013
North
Shiel 6 - 1 ds (h) loss
n (h) Billy Tow 7 - 0 win
December 2 GAMES PLAYED - 1 WIN - 0 DRAWS - 1 DEFEAT - PLAYER OF THE MONTH: CHRIS DOUGLAS (COMBINED)
With the poor weather setting in right around the festive period, Allotment managed just two games. One was another heavy home defeat, this time at the hands of Darlington R.A.. Most worrying was the manner of the defeat, as a second half capitulation afforded Steve Allison one of the easiest hat-tricks of his career.
January
The second game was far more comfortable, as Celtic easily disposed of Birtley Town. A goal from left-winger Lee, a thumping Stoneman header and a tidy Dormand finish put Allotment in control before half-time, and Lee added a second later on. Burundian midfielder Ibrahim Ibrahim made his one and only appearance for Allotment on that wet and windy evening, and did not seem to relish his twenty minutes of Northern League football. The poor conditions wrote off what was left of 2012, affording the players a longer Christmas perhaps with a little more eggnog than usual.
2 GAMES PLAYED - 2 WINS - 0 DRAWS - 0 DEFEATS - PLAYER OF THE MONTH: CHRIS DOUGLAS (COMBINED)
January promised more of the same, as pitches soon went from waterlogged to frozen. The heavy and consistent snowfall restricted Allotment to just two games once more. Celtic cruised to victory in the first, sailing past a completely toothless Alnwick side courtesy of a Liam Hudson brace. The second game, also in early January, was a little more competitive. Allotment put five past a relentless Horden side in their own back garden, but the hosts did manage to peg back two of their own. Dummett’s curling free-kick and Dormand’s deft chip were the pick of the goals. The following five games were postponed. The image to the right should capably demonstrate why.
February
5 GAMES PLAYED - 4 WINS - 1 DRAW - 0 DEFEATS - PLAYER OF THE MONTH: STEPHEN LITTLE
Team North 3-2 win A (h) .E.T.
Allotment had put their informal winter break to good use, partaking in five-a-side training exercises and Hoggy’s legendary training drills on the beach. There wasn’t much sun to lap up at Cullercoats on those wet, dark weeknights, but they certainly helped Allotment come out from under a cloud. The transformation was not instant, as was evident in their frustrating 0-0 draw with Ryton. A missed penalty, a wrongfully disallowed goal and a hatful of spurned chances all contributed to the feeling of disbelief when Celtic came away with a paltry point. Stoneman and his (often late) charges just about made it to the remote village of Esh Winning, bringing with them a renewed sense of purpose. Celtic would go on to win 3-0, despite Henderson’s early red card for a
retrospectively comical attempt at a headbutt. Another confident win followed at home to Chester-le-Street, as Dormand scored twice and laid on another for Lancaster. A sterner test would be provided by Team Northumbria in the next round of the League Cup. Dummett should have opened the scoring from the spot, but placed his penalty over the bar rather than beneath it. Instead, former Celtic man Michael Fenwick put the next door neighbours ahead, only for the excellent Chris Douglas to level the scores. Sub Sean Reid put Allotment ahead in extra-time, but the visitors refused to relent, and Fenwick’s sibling Mark hauled the hosts back. Douglas ultimately had the final say, striking low and hard to ensure Allotment’s progression. It capped an unbeaten month for Allotment, who had yet to be defeated in 2013. What’s more, it spared Dummett from having a second go in the dreaded penalty shootout.
MAY 2013 THREE MILES WEST
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March 8 GAMES PLAYED - 5 WINS - 0 DRAWS - 3 DEFEATS - PLAYER OF THE MONTH: SEAN REID
With the games beginning to come thick and fast, Celtic picked up where they left off, extending their unbeaten run into double digits. First to fall to the mighty Celtic warriors were Thornaby. Allotment still looked too strong for the improved Blues, and were ahead at half-time through Dean Lee’s twentieth of the season, and a good low strike from the lively Hudson. Nevertheless, Celtic allowed the visiting side back into it as soon as play resumed, giving away a cheap penalty within minutes of the restart. The hosts bemusingly found themselves pegged back within five minutes of the second half, as Douglas’ valiant clearance off the line fell to Morrison, who levelled proceedings. Disappointed at having thrown away such a comfortable advantage, Allotment took the game by the scruff of the neck, and goals from Dormand, Lee and Reid made the result look far easier on paper than it was in practice. Next up at Whitley Park were Collingwood’s Seaham Red Star side in the E.A. Cup. Despite being billed as a close tie, Allotment surged into a four goal lead, as more goals from Hudson and Dormand - and a bobbling Reid free-kick on the stroke of half-time - put Celtic in control. Dormand’s second wrapped up another high-scoring win for Allotment, even if subsitute Channon North’s brace did have a few nerves jangling in the last twenty minutes. The tip-top Tyneside team packed up their home form and took it across the water to Whickham on a cold Tuesday night. The usual suspects were present in another four-goal win, as Dormand, Reid and Lee all found the back of the net. Chris Douglas, making a rare appearance in his favoured attacking role, also chipped in with a fine finish, as Celtic ran out 4-1 winners. Allotment’s form had changed positively with the seasons, but the sensational sequence would be shattered in controversial circumstances at Birtley Town. A depleted Celtic side were still in the game with ten minutes to go, trailing by a single goal in a turgid but tight affair. There was still time for a hero, but instead the game made a villain of the man in the middle. The referee pulled Dummett thirty yards out of position to award him a yellow card. With the full-back out of position, Birtley took the free-kick quickly down the right, and the hapless
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official, confused beyond belief, allowed play to continue. Hornsby could not believe his good fortune, slamming beyond the unprotected Beal to kill the contest. The man in black then booked two Celtic players for challenging his dire decision, adding disciplinary insult to ruinous injury. The side were still reeling from the injustice when Jarrow Roofing rocked up at Whitley Park, and had nobody to blame but themsleves for the disastrous defeat. Beal was caught out for the first, but Allotment levelled through Reid, who lashed home Dummett’s sumptuous cross-field pass. Indidual errors once again proved to be Celtic’s downfall, as slack marking, a physical comedy of errors between Beal and Little and a cheap penalty allowed the Roofers to race into a four goal lead. Dormand and Reid’s consolations softened the blow, but the fact remained that Allotment could have emerged victorious on the day. A tighter showing in the League Cup against FA Vase holders Dunston UTS was required, but the Division One side outmuscled and outclassed Allotment, deservedly winning 2-0 on the evening despite a gutsy performance from the hosts. The E.A Cup was now Allotment’s only hope of winning a trophy this season - but quarterfinalists Washington briefly looked set to consign them to a ninth season without silverware. Michael Turner’s impressive run and shot put the Mechanics ahead, only for Tony Lancaster to prod home Bell’s teasing cross with his reluctant and unsuspecting groin; the very definition of taking one for the team. Glenn Ford’s powerful header in the second half deservedly put the superior Celtic side ahead, and sub Dean Lee made safe their progression at the Nissan Sports Complex. On Good Friday, Allotment proved that their resurrected form was not temporary, getting revenge on North Shields for the earlier drubbing. Celtic completely dominated the game in front of a bumper crowd, and won it thanks to two Sean Reid goals either side of half-time, the latter from the spot.
THREE MILES WEST MAY 2013
Birtle
y Tow n (a) 2-0 loss
) aby (h Thorn in 5-2w
Jarrow
Roofin g (h) 5 - 3 lo ss
s (h) d l e i h Sh Nort - 0 win 2
April 13 GAMES PLAYED - 9 WINS - 2 DRAWS - 2 DEFEATS - PLAYER OF THE MONTH: MARC ALLEN
The end of the campaign was in sight, but the adverse weather had inevitably taken its toll on the fixture list. The backlog proved to be gruelling, as Celtic were forced to play thirteen games in a month - almost one match every two days. How did a stretched Allotment squad deal with the excruciating rigours of the top-heavy calendar? They handled it in the only way they could; by winning. Forward momentum and positive adrenaline propelled Celtic onwards, even when the exhausted and physically spent players began dropping like flies. Allotment kicked off the toughest month of the season with two similarly frustrating draws; one away at Morpeth, where Reid’s introduction and Hudson’s finish granted them a point they more than deserved, and on the road to holiday hotspot Brandon, where the torrential rain and muddy surface had a less than positive impact on the quality of football. Although Celtic threw everything at the Durham outfit, the scoresheet remained blank on both sides at full-time. A shock loss at home to Tow Law followed, and the defeat threatened to send Allotment into an end of season tailspin. At North Shields, the hosts took the lead through Dean Holmes, before former Robin Chris Douglas conceded possession and a dubious penalty in quick succession, which Holmes duly despatched. Allotment looked dead and buried at half-time, having failed to get a foothold in the local derby. After a handful of orange segments and some choice words from the coaches, Celtic looked a different side. Michael Bell kicked off the recovery with a fine curling effort, before former Shields favourite Dean Lee put one past his old club via a deflection. Surging forward, Allotment’s midfield grew in stature, with Reid, Henderson and Bell all pulling the strings in the middle of the pitch. A stunned Shields side had no answer to their resurgent rivals, and Stoneman himself completed the epic comeback, stroking home a low shot from a corner - his first goal with the boot this season. Further wins followed, as regular scorers Reid and Lee - Allotment’s popular double act - secured victory in a narrow encounter at home to the fading Seaham Red Star. A strong top half finish was within reach, and a gritty win at Northallerton Town only served to
strengthen their top seven position. Dean Lee’s early finish proved enough on the day, as Celtic defended resolutely for the next eighty minutes, shutting out the Yorkshiremen on their own patch. Another trip to Washington yielded a fine 4-1 win, with Little and Bell deservedly getting onto the scoresheet alongside brace scorer Reid. Marc Allen bossed the midfield alongside Dunn in one of the season’s better performances. Back to back home wins cemented Allotment’s league position, triumphing 3-1 against Stokesley, before edging out Brandon United via a solitary Chris Douglas strike, following good work between the wide man and Bell. One may have been forgiven for thinking that the Shields win was the comeback of the season, but the E.A. Cup semi-final bettered it hands down. Three goals behind after a dire thirty minutes, Allotment could only dream of a final berth - until Hudson’s strike before half-time gave them a glimmer of hope. Substitute Dunn shored up the midfield after the break, and the introduction of Dormand - dropped after doing his best Kevin Doyle impressions in front of goal - proved to be a game-changer. His twenty yard header above and beyond the R.A. ‘keeper galvanised the side, willing them forward. The Railwaymen sat deep to counteract the threat, but could only stop Henderson from running through on goal by bringing him down in the box. Reid dramatically levelled from the spot, taking the game to extratime. With the dreaded shootout looming, Bell scrambled in from a corner to lift the metaphorical roof off Whitley Park, ultimately sealing their place in the final. Back in the league, Allotment needed a highly unlikely win at Crook Town to keep their faint promotion dreams alive, but the champions benefittedfrom a split-second lack of concentration, and two questionable refereeing decisions, to win the game by two goals. Allotment remained determined to end their league campaign on a high, and did so with two thumping performances in front of their home support against Esh Winning and Horden. Celtic fired six past the former, with Dormand firing four of them, and went one better on the final day, defeating the relegated Colliers by seven goals, with Allen pounding in two goal of the season contenders. Their league fixtures completed in style, Allotment could turn all attention to their first cup final since winning the Craven Cup in 2005. The Ernest Armstrong Memorial Cup final would take place on the 6th of May. Only Northallerton stood in their way.
Esh Winning (h) 6 - 0 win
lds (a) North Shie 3 - 2 win
Darlo R.A. (h ) 4 -3 win A.E.T .
MAY 2013 THREE MILES WEST
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THERE is a good reason why people will forever refer to the magic of the cup. The very format of a good old-fashioned knockout competition encourages players to leave nothing in their respective dressing rooms. Just ninety minutes - sometimes half an hour more - stands between one side and a step towards silverware. The passion and purpose of an entire season is condensed into one enthralling encounter after another. That nerve-shredding, adrenaline-fuelled immediacy produces a kind of football that any league would struggle to match. It’s not just true of the televised cup competitions, whose fairytales beguile millions of supporters on their television screens. Every cup matters to everyone within its geographical range. The Ernest Armstrong Memorial Cup pits the Northern League’s Division Two clubs against one another until just two remain to compete for the trophy, named after the former Labour MP and longtime League benefactor. Allotment had already put on a show for their own fans prior to the Bank Holiday final, putting four past Seaham Red Star, three in at Washington, and got a fourth game-winning goal against Darlington in extra-time - perhaps the most unlikely of results, given that Celtic were 3 - 0 down after half an hour at Whitley Park. The comeback defied all of the odds that a non-league bookie would have offered. It reinforced the belief within the squad that, on their day, they could beat anyone at any ground. They would have to do it one more time on Teesside in order to get their hands on the trophy. The Glamal Stadium, home of Billingham Synthonia, was the venue; incumbent holders Northallerton Town were the opponents. Town leapfrogged above Allotment in the league on the last day of their season - by virtue of goal difference. You couldn’t separate the two with a fine toothcomb, setting the stage for a thrilling cup final. The forecast was promising, and did not disappoint, showering the Bank Holiday morn with welcome sunshine. After a short coach journey from West Allotment Social Club, Allotment touched down on Teesside ahead of their North Yorkshire rivals, and set about testing the daisy-studded pitch with their best dress shoes. Three players headed almost straight down the tunnel to get changed, preparing for the first test of the day. The trio emerged in training gear, and were put through their paces by Paul and Wilf. Stephen Little passed with flying colours, earning himself a place in the starting line-up. Liam Hudson did well
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Up for the Cup
(This one, to be precise)
The committee reenact their favourite scene from Reservoir Dogs.
The players and coaches wait to board the party bus to Billingham
The Glamal Stadium, Billingham Synthonia’s home ground, proved to be a fitting venue for the final
Stephen Little, Liam Hudson and Dean Lee all take late fitness tests. Stephen started, Liam was an unused substitute, and Dean heartbreakingly missed out altogether.
Allotment’s two junior mascots lead out the day’s captain John Pendlebury onto the field of play.
West Allotment Celtic’s starting eleven, prior to the biggest game of the 2012/13 season.
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Craig Winter sticks out a leg to deny Stephen Little the game’s opening goal
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Sean Reid is denied at close range by both Laing and Briggs.
THREE MILES WEST MAY 2013
A curling Marc Dummett freekick strikes the Town wall
The Route to the Final Seaham Red Star (h) 4-2
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First-half goals from Hudson and Dormand, and a Reid free-kick on the stroke of halftime, put the hosts in a commanding position. Dormand wrapped up the win with a fourth goal, as Channon North’s brace proved to be in vain for the Star.
Reid is bundled over from behind in the box, and duly converts from twelve yards out
enough to secure a place on the bench. Dean Lee did not fare as well. The winger valiantly failed to overcome a knee injury sustained at Northallerton that was expected to keep him out for months. The irony was painful, but paled in comparison to the heartbreak of missing out on the final. When Northallerton turned up, they did so in numbers. Hundreds of the ardent town-dwellers took their places in the stands, greeting the teams’ arrival on the pitch with deafening air horns and chants of “Yorkshire”. Allotment’s supporters, hailing from a small village and other outlying towns (not, as Town’s fans insisted, from Scotland), could not match Northallerton’s wall of noise. Instead, the team did their talking on the pitch. Most teams will have a good creative attacker, but few have one quite like Sean Reid. The defender-cummidfielder-cum-forward caused havoc early on. Had it not been for Marcus Laing and ‘keeper James Briggs, the playmaker would have put Celtic ahead within six minutes of kick-off. Stephen Little came even closer, denied on the line by Craig Winter, as Celtic penned in their quiet opponents. Stoneman and veteran forward Carl Chillingsworth reignited their December duel as tempers flared, with Allotment’s player-manager arguably winning the steely showdown. It wasn’t the only battle that Town lost in the opening exchanges, as Peter Mulcaster’s men were second best throughout the half. Reid’s towering size once again had alarm bells ringing in Town’s area, as another fine Chris Douglas corner found its way to the 20-year-old at the back post. His guided header rattled off the top of the crossbar, and almost dropped for Little to finish in the six yard box. The centre-half was beaten to the ball by a matter of milliseconds, and
his face collided with Danny Shoulder’s boot rather than round synthetic leather. Town’s bark from the stands was far worse than its bite on the pitch, and the black and whites mustered just one opportunity in the first half, with Nathan Porritt nodding over Stephen Anderson’s cross. The loss of pacy top scorer Adam Emson certainly did their goalscoring cause little favour, as Stoneman and Little comfortably dealt with the less technical threats of Chillingsworth and substitute Michael Dunwell. Despite dominating the first half, the two sides went in level at the break - but it could’ve been a different story, had David Dormand not poked a deliciously whipped Michael Bell cross wide of Briggs’ near post. After some much sought-after pie and peas (in the stands, not in the dressing room), regular service resumed on the pitch, with Allotment picking up where they left off. Douglas broke clean through the middle, only to be denied a surefire goal by the sprawling, stretching Briggs. The relentless passing and probing soon paid off, with Reid at the eye of the storm once more. With his back to goal, the former Ryton forward looked to head the ball out wide, but was barged over by the overeager Stephen Banks. ‘Reidy’ had seen his last
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Dummett and Douglas challenge for posession on the left wing
Washington (a) 3-1
The Wearside hosts took the lead courtesy of Michael Turner, only for Lancaster to equalise with his groin. A second-half header from centre-half Glenn Ford, and a late goal from prolific substitute Dean Lee, ensured Celtic’s progression to the final four.
Darlington R.A. (h) 4-3 A.E.T.
A woeful first half performance saw Darlo all but book a place in the final, as Elgie, Allison and Butterworth all struck within half an hour. Hudson’s finish before half-time gave Celtic hope, before substitute Dormand and penalty taker Reid remarkably levelled proceedings. Allotment completed the astounding comeback in extra-time, as Michael Bell stroked home from six yards out.
penalty saved, but nonetheless stepped up to the plate. He smashed his spot-kick into the right hand corner, deservedly putting Allotment ahead. Northallerton’s travelling army expressed their dissatisfaction with the stonewall decision, spontaneously demanding penalties at random intervals. Even without Ian Dunn, who would have readily traded Lanzarote for sunny Billingham, Allotment dominated the midfield. Even David Henderson, wily attacker by nature, put in his fair share of timely interceptions. The game was in Celtic’s grasp, but Town gave their fullmouthed faithful something to sing about against the run of play. Powerful full-back James Bowman looped a header towards goal from a Gav Parkin free-kick. The ball gently sailed over the backpedalling Ryan Beal, dipping just beneath the bar and into the top corner. Spurred on by their ear-splitting support, Northallerton looked likely to press on and grab a second - but were behind
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again within five minutes of drawing level. Marc Dummett delivered a typically impressive corner into the area towards the comparatively diminuitive Dormand, who sprung above his marker and headed into the floor - and, most importantly, across the line. The lead restored, Stoneman’s charges looked likely to cruise to victory - but when do Allotment ever win the easy way? In keeping with time-honoured tradition, Celtic had their fans sweating nervously with ten minutes left on the clock. With no immediate danger present, and the linesman’s flag up for offside, Little slipped and miscued his clearance into the path of Chillingsworth. He seemed to have recovered in heroic fashion, just about winning a crunching fifty-fifty against the number nine, but the officials thought otherwise. Given the precarious position of the challenge, and with Stevie already on a yellow, the man in black had little option thereafter but to give the centre-half his marching orders. Northallerton could sense that an equaliser was in within reach. The crowd urged their men forward, whilst those hailing from Tyneside remained quietly pensive. Allotment rang the changes, with Reid dropping in ably alongside his manager, and Kallum McGlen raced from the bench to replace Douglas on the left wing. The young winger soon joined esteemed luminaries such as Solskjaer, Sheringham and Fairclough in an exclusive super-sub club, having a decisive impact on the game. Turning Banks inside out, Kallum looked inside and chipped a delightful through ball into the path of the onrushing Dormand. The striker sealed the win with a thunderous strike past Briggs, celebrating the win with a cartwheel that lacked the poise and grace of his finish. As the final whistle sounded at the Glamal, Allotment shouted loudest, celebrating one of the most exhilirating cup campaigns in recent memory. After eight long years without silverware, Celtic’s current squad can finally begin restocking that trophy cabinet.
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67
Stoneman beats fellow centrehalf Winter to the aerial ball
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Dormand is mobbed after putting Allotment back in front
81
Little is dubiously dismissed by the referee after picking up a second yellow
The bench nervously looks on as the game enters its final minutes...
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...but Dormand wraps it up three minutes from time, and celebrates with Michael Bell
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Bowman’s big header loops over the top of the despairing Beal
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Beal once again tips a cross away from striker Carl Chillingsworth
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Marc Allen is embroiled in a physical battle with his Northallerton counterpart
90+2
The players congratulate one another after winning the EA Cup in style
Front row: George Johnstone, Kallum McGlen, Sean Reid, John Pendlebury, Marc Allen, David Dormand, David Henderson
Back row: Chris Raffo,Wilf Kielty (Asst. Manager), Aiden Ames,Tony Lancaster, Simon Wilthew, Liam Hudson, Glenn Ford, Marc Dummett, Ryan Beal, Michael Bell, Jed Findlay, Stephen Little, Chris Douglas, Paul Stoneman (Player-Manager), Paul Hogg (First-Team Coach), Dean Lee, Andrea Jameson (Physio)
Ernest Armstrong Memorial Cup Winners, 2012/13
WEST ALLOTMENT CELTIC
THE THREE MILES WEST AWARDS
The curtain has finally come down on a hectic campaign at West Allotment Celtic, and what better way to celebrate the end of the season than with a lavish end of season awards ceremony? Since we cannot afford to furnish every player with a cutprice, cut-glass trophy, here are THREE MILES WEST’s standout performers from the 2012/13 season.
THE GOLD-PAINTED RESIN BOOT DAVID DORMAND
Having been snapped up from Division Two rivals Morpeth Town, ‘Dorma’ set about showing the Highwaymen just what they were missing. The prolific poacher has bagged 30 goals in 35 starts - an incredible strike rate of 1.16 goals per game. Nine of those goals came in the last five games, including a well-taken brace in the Ernest Armstrong Memorial Cup final. First-time lobs, spectacular bending volleys, twenty yard headers, one-on-ones - ‘Dorma’ has scored them all. He’s even been known to celebrate some of them, should the occasion be deemed important enough!
DEAN LEE
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One of the top scoring midfielders in the top ten tiers of English football, Dean topped Allotment’s scoring charts for most of the footballing year, never going more than three appearances without finding the back of the net. ‘Deano’ bagged himself 26 goals from out on the left wing, playing with the positional nous of a centre-forward, and would surely have hit the 30 goal milestone, had a knee injury not curtailed his campaign three weeks shy of the cup final. After finishing a very close second to the club’s main centreforward, Lee will be desperate to go one better next season. You wouldn’t bet against him.
THREE MILES WEST MAY 2013
BEST NEW ARRIVAL
CHRIS DOUGLAS
The versatile wide man rejoined Celtic in October following a long injury lay-off. Initially used as cover down both flanks, ‘Doug’ forced his way into the starting eleven, maintaining his place when Marc Dummett returned to the side. His consistent performances and ever-present nature made him a vital acquisition this season.
RYAN BEAL
Aiden Ames’ unfortunate injury, combined with Gareth Powell’s untimely departure, left Allotment in a goalkeeping quandary. Former Shields stopper Ryan came in between the sticks, performing well enough to rival Ames for the number one jersey upon his return - which in itself is no mean feat.
DAVID DORMAND
As previously mentioned, Dormand has accrued an impressive number of strikes since arriving from Morpeth in early September. In addition to the healthy goal return, ‘Dorma’ worked his socks off for the side in the lone forward role, and has also contributed a surprisingly large number of assists for his teammates.
YOUNG PLAYER SEAN REID OF THE YEAR
‘Reidy’ has played in every central position this season, from centreforward to goalkeeper, and has excelled in every one. Technically gifted and equipped with a footballing mind, Sean looks destined to ply his trade at a higher level. For now, Celtic can boast having one of the Northern League’s hottest prospects on their books.
MICHAEL BELL
The 21-year-old has come on leaps and bounds in his second full season at Whitley Park. A salmon in the air and equally adept on the ground, ‘Belly’ always puts in a shift, and has adapted well to a number of midfield roles this season, be it as a holding midfielder, an attacking playmaker, or a rapid right winger.
KALLUM McGLEN
Kallum came into his own just before the festive period, covering every blade of grass and putting in his fair share of pinpoint crosses. Injury disrupted his season, but he reminded everyone what he was about in the cup final, expertly laying on Celtic’s killer goal. If only he could score that elusive goal...
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JOHN JACKSON COMMITMENT AWARD The twenty-first century has ushered in an age of misguided opulence. Tycoons and moguls have flocked from overseas, waving their wads of cash and buying into the dream that English football so readily promises. Family-run football clubs would seem to be a thing of the past. Not so at West Allotment Celtic, where a select group of close-knit families have presided over matters since 1928. First came Tommy Jackson, one of the club’s founding members, and a loyal servant until his death in 1994. His son John, affectionately known as ‘Jacka’, became a legend at Allotment, working at the club for a staggering 46 years, serving as club secretary, kitman and, on rather frequent occasions, referee heckler.
Sadly, to the great loss of his family and their football club, John Jackson passed away in late October of last year. The ever-strong link between the Jackson clan and West Allotment Celtic lives on through his sons. Graeme and Daniel Jackson resolved to follow in the footsteps of their father, supporting Allotment home and away throughout the season, trekking across the North-East in ‘the Jacksonmobile’. The Jackson brothers continue to (literally) fly the flag for Celtic, honouring their father’s memory and devotion with every passing game. It is apt that Jacka’s sons should determine the recipient of the John Jackson Commitment Award. Both were at pains to stress how difficult it was to choose just one player from a squad that has, to a man, shown remarkable commitment to the cause throughout the campaign, be it the first-team ever-presents, or the eager and hungry squad players like Jed Findlay and George Johnstone, who continue to boot up despite their limited game time. “I do find it hard to pick just one player. It’s all commitment at West Allotment,” admitted Graeme. Daniel agreed, and laid down the precedent on which their collective decision would be based: “Turning up to every game, doesn’t matter where you’re playing. If it’s at Whitley Park, or Esh Winning, or Brandon away, those who turn up every week should be the ones that win.”
JOHN PENDLEBURY
PAUL STONEMAN
MARC DUMMETT
IAN DUNN
Vice-captain ‘Penders’ wears his heart on his sleeve every time he pulls on the shirt, and often proves to be one of the most vocal leaders in the team. And, as Graeme points out, “he always gets stuck in”.
The former Ponteland full-back leaves everything on the pitch - including the broken bodies of his adversaries. “He never pulls out of a challenge,” said Daniel. Many a winger will testify to that.
MICHAEL BELL
Diligent prospect ‘Belly’ has been one of Celtic’s most consistent performers in midfield, impressing Daniel in particular. “I think he has given 100% every time. He’s a great player technically, a great header of the ball.”
Despite turning 40 midway through the campaign, ‘Stona’ racked up more appearances than any other player. His match-winning performances belied his age, leading many to call for him to postpone his retirement for at least one more season.
It goes without saying that the club captain would be up for this award. ‘Dunny’ has led by example in the middle of the park, sweating blood in the name of the club. The longserving stalwart has cleared the 150 appearances mark - a feat only surpassed in the current squad by Aiden Ames. His desperate attempts to get from Lanzarote to Billingham via planes, trains and automobiles may have been in vain, but demonstrated the kind of player - and man - he is.
MARC ALLEN
As soon as his name came up, the Jackson brothers nodded in agreement with one another. Marc, known bemusingly around the club as ‘Alge’, has been on the bench almost as many times as he has been on the pitch, but has performed admirably whenever called upon. Daniel was delighted to nominate Marc for the gong. “He’s come from nowhere, really, because we didn’t recognise him in the first few games. He’s small, but I’ll tell you what, he gets stuck in, wins the ball and gives it to someone to attack. He’s had a very good season.” Graeme agreed, citing his excellent performance against Washington in the cup quarter-final. Loyal, passionate, patient, and talented, Marc has proven to be the ultimate squad player.
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THREE MILES WEST MAY 2013
FANS’ PLAYER OF THE YEAR
As Celtic fans, you have turned up in your dozens to cheer on the lads. Some have nestled next to the dugouts, taking the referees to task for poor decisions against the green and whites. Others have taken bus trips into the deepest, darkest County Durham, just to watch Allotment put five past Tow Law. You have looked on as a close-knit squad recovered from an early blip to seal a top half finish in the league, as well as collecting some silverware to boot. Aside from sharing the collective glory, there should also be a little room to commend those individuals who have gone above and beyond this season. To that end, forty-eight of you voted for your Player of the Year.
AIDEN AMES MARC ALLEN Although injury restricted him to just 15 appearances, the reliable ‘keeper did not put a foot wrong when he did take up his post between the sticks, making a number of fine saves to salvage early points for Allotment.
As previously mentioned, Marc’s performances have been highly consistent this season, despite his status as a rotation player. For that reason, the fans have evidently forgiven him for that Darlington R.A. game. Consider it forgotten!
KALLUM McGLEN SEAN REID
The pacy winger has shown bursts of his true potential at Allotment, and his progress was hampered only by an injury sustained around Christmas. ‘Kall’ came back with a vengeance, laying on Dormand’s cup-winning goal with, arguably, the assist of the season. But there’s no award for that.
The mercurial Reid scored 22 goals many of which were from midfield - and proved himself to be Celtic’s primary creative outlet. ‘Reidy’ can play almost anywhere, and has been unplayable this season.
DEAN LEE
The winger has enjoyed the form of his life, cutting in from the left to bag 26 goals at a highly consistent rate. Without his keen predatory instincts, Allotment may not have finished in the top half.
PAUL STONEMAN
The player-manager has come in for high praise in what was expected to be his twilight season. One could count the amount of aerial challenges that ‘Stona’ lost throughout the campaign on two hands, and still have fingers spare. Arguably even more impressive, his disciplinary record has improved, with just seven yellow cards to his name. Christine Meldrum listed his winning qualities: “Leadership, consistency, personality, skill.” Bob Thomas needed just one word to describe his choice for Fans’ Player of the Year: “Solid!” Division Two’s beaten and bruised centre-forwards would undoubtedly agree.
STEPHEN LITTLE
Fellow centre-half Stevie finished as a close runner-up to the eventual winner, having formed an often watertight partnership with Stoneman in the heart of the defence. His bravery and desire to win every ball has often come at a price - none less so than in the cup final, when a Northallerton midfielder almost rearranged his face as he stooped to head towards goal. Allotment’s vice-vice-captain has come on leaps and bounds in the space of nine hectic months, and is fast becoming one of Division Two’s top defenders.
IAN DUNN
Captain Fantastic is clearly well respected on and off the pitch, and is the deserved winner of the Fans’ Player of the Year award. The skipper leads by example, expending every ounce of energy in an attempt to usher the ball away from the back four. His influence may go unnoticed by the casual observer, but was plainly evident when he came on at half-time against Darlington R.A. in the semi-final, calmly inspiring his side to a remarkable 4-3 victory. Though gently mocked for his shooting abilities, ‘Dunny’ has chipped in with five goals the most notable being an uncharacteristic 30-yard howitzer against Newcastle Benfield. Veteran supporter Alf Lowes opined that Dunn “has had a great season, and has a great attitude”. Here’s hoping that Celtic can benefit from his form and leadership for years to come.
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1992/93 SEASON
THE
TITLE DECIDER(s)
STEPHEN ALLOTT recalls another thrilling end-of-season finale from yesteryear Sergio Aguero went into history last season when his ultra-late strike took the Premiership title to Manchester City for the first time since 1968, yet such nerve-shredding finishes can occur at all levels of the game. Twenty years ago, Allotment were involved in a mighty tussle with old foes Seaton Delaval Amateurs for the Northern Alliance championship; a tussle that went to two play-offs and extra-time before the decisive strike arrived with the referee about to consign everyone to a title trilogy. Sitting atop the league table in early December, Allotment faced their first acid test in the form of Delaval at Wheatridge Park. The visitors took an early lead through John Fitzpatrick’s blistering strike from 25 yards, but were pegged back by the hosts, as Jem Palmer tucked in from close range. Despite intense Delaval pressure, defender Dave Byerley put Celtic back in the ascendancy with a thumping low drive. Seaton Delaval struck back after the interval through leading scorer Jimmy Moses, but Allotment restored their lead within seconds of the restart, courtesy of a Micky Chilton break and simple Olsen finish. Delaval fought furiously for a precious point, but Allotment managed to cling on for the win, maintaining their flawless away record in the process. The return fixture was played on Saturday 10th April. It was a crucial day for Celtic as the team had thrown away some daft points since the
Christmas period; to the point where a defeat against Delaval would almost certainly banish any dreams of a third consecutive Alliance championship. To the delight of the home supporters at Backworth Welfare, the league “double” was duly completed thanks to goals from Gary Johnson and Steve Atkinson. The victory over Delaval was the first of seven successive wins with which Allotment ended their league fixtures. However, Seaton Delaval would still take the title if they won the remainder of their own games. Furthermore, both Morpeth Town and Carlisle City still remained in contention; indeed, had Morpeth won their final fixture then they would have been involved in a play-off for the title too. However, despite their impressive results, both Town and City fell just short of the winning post due to the scorching final burst of victories produced by both Seaton Delaval and Celtic. On the final day of the league season, Celtic had to travel to Wark and win whilst hoping that Gillford Park could deny Seaton Delaval a victory at Wheatridge Park. Celtic had crushed Ponteland United by seven goals to three in midweek and were fully expected to beat a Wark side that had lost seven of its previous eight league matches and had already been beaten five-nil at Backworth. All the expectations looked to be coming true when Celtic stormed into the lead after just fifty-nine seconds. Billy Foreman
Seaton Delaval ‘keeper Walker gathers the ball from a West Allotment Celtic set-piece in the play-off final replay.
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and Micky Chilton linked to send Gary Johnson clear and he finished with the aplomb of a man who had scored seven goals in his previous six league matches. Surprisingly, Celtic were unable to add to the scoreline until the fiftieth minute, at which point Chilton scored with a brave diving header. The Allotment supporters were satisfied that the Celtic players had done their part of the job. Now everything depended upon Gillford Park. However, nerves started to jangle when Potts pulled a goal back for Wark with a fine curling shot. Worse was to follow five minutes later as Potts headed past Marshall to level the scores. For twelve tantalising minutes, Celtic’s title hopes teetered on the brink as the team attempted to shake off their disappointment and tried to win the game for a second time. The decisive moment came in the 72nd minute. John Fitzpatrick just got his head to a cross and the ball looped lazily into the top corner of the net. Within sixty seconds, Chilton headed his second goal of the game to apparently secure the result once again. However, Wark still found time to give those from West Allotment further palpitations when Robson netted with one minute remaining. The remaining seconds dripped by as though suspended in syrup. When the relief provided by the final whistle subsided, all thoughts turned to what had transpired at Wheatridge Park. Like Celtic, Seaton Delaval made a flying start in their crucial game. Only six minutes elapsed before Rob Cross scored following a long clearance from Rob Arkless. Delaval minds were quickly refocused when Eamon Elliott grabbed an unexpected equaliser six minutes later. Within three minutes, Rob Cross restored Delaval’s lead and the home supporters were sensing an afternoon to remember; they were not wrong, although not quite in the way imagined. As the game meandered to a conclusion, Gillford Park kept the score at two-one without seriously threatening to notch a second equaliser. Then, out of the blue and with a mere two minutes standing between Delaval and the Northern Alliance championship, a fatal slip of concentration allowed Eamon
Elliott the opportunity to level the scores. He did not fail and the exquisite cruelty that football can inflict on its participants became very evident to those supporting the cause of Seaton Delaval Amateurs. The end result of a breathtaking afternoon was that Seaton Delaval and Celtic had to face each other in a play-off for the title. The 1992/93 title race was incredibly close, with just three points separating the top four clubs. Although the Northern Alliance used “goal difference” as a determining factor in the placing of teams with the same number of points, the rules decreed that the championship could not be decided in this manner. The play-off generated a lot of interest. Thirteen days after the events in Wark and Seaton Delaval, over five hundred people made their way to Benfield Park to witness a championship to be decided in the style of a cup-tie. It was a pleasant Friday evening and the sun glinted off the multi-coloured cranes situated just one mile down the road, a reminder that Benfield Park used to be the home of the Naval Yard, notable rivals of Celtic in previous decades. Those who made the trip to Benfield were treated to a rousing match. Both sides fashioned chances before the breakthrough arrived after fifteen minutes. Keith Woods and Steve Forster were caught on their heels and Jimmy Moses stole in between them to shoot past Dave Marshall from ten yards. Micky Bell almost doubled Delaval’s lead before Celtic had a chance to regain their composure. Then, in the space of two minutes, the match turned dramatically in favour of Allotment. With nine minutes left before the interval, Forster burst through the Delaval defence and slipped the ball to Gary Johnson, who smashed it wide of Walker in the Delaval goal. As the Amateurs attempted to regroup, Jarrod Suddick embarked on a dribble, cut a path to the by-line and was only stopped by a desperate lunge from Arkless. Referee Cruickshank pointed to the spot without hesitation. Suddick picked himself up and despatched the penalty without a hitch. The Amateurs were stung into action and put Allotment under considerable pressure. Ash hit the post with a subtle curved shot from a wide angle before Marshall made an excellent save from the ever-dangerous Moses. Somehow, Celtic clung on to their lead going into half-time. Allotment’s precarious advantage did not last long once play
resumed as Delaval grabbed a deserved equaliser when Dave Walton connected with a cross from Atkinson. His textbook downward header beat Marshall, although the ball struck the post before finally crossing the line. The game settled down for a while after Walton’s goal but both sides continued to try and create the opening that would seal the title. As the minutes ticked away nerves began to get increasingly taut both on and off the pitch. Each set of supporters had to endure an anxious moment when it appeared that their team had fallen behind. Firstly, the Celtic followers looked on breathlessly as Moses headed against the crossbar. Then, with just five minutes remaining, Walker produced a blinding save to keep out a diving
the match followed the script of the previous encounter by giving Delaval an early lead with a superb volley. Unfortunately for Celtic, the script then changed and there were no further goals before the interval. Defences were much more in control than in the first game and the strike from Moses looked to have decided the championship in style. As Dave Taylor exhorted his players into making a final effort and the Delaval followers glanced anxiously at their watches, Celtic won a free-kick. Billy Foreman took the kick and the ball reached Steve Forster in space just yards from goal. Forster cracked in his shot but somehow Walker kept it out. There was mayhem in the six-yard box but the quickest to react was Micky Chilton and
Allotment’s Michael Chilton turns away, having slammed home a last-minute equaliser for Celtic. header from Suddick. A late winning goal would have been cruel and with no extra-time scheduled, a second game had to be arranged to try and separate the two sides. By now, the battle between Delaval and Celtic was attracting the attention of an increasing number of neutral observers. This was evident in the substantial crowd that assembled at Benfield Park on the last day in May to see whether the championship trophy was destined for Seaton Delaval or West Allotment. Those present on a sunny Monday evening were treated to another memorable match and witnessed a suitably incredible conclusion to an extraordinary season. Celtic were forced to make changes to their line-up with Les Yeomans, Billy Foreman and Michael Storey taking the place of Dave Byerley, Keith Woods and Danny Olsen from the first play-off game. Delaval also made changes, with Malone and Jardine starting the match in place of Palmer and Walton. Jimmy Moses ensured that
he slammed the ball past the helpless Walker. As the Allotment officials and players cavorted on the pitch, the feeling of deja-vu for the Seaton Delaval supporters and players must have been overwhelming. The “curse” of Eamon Elliott had struck again. Not many present at Benfield Park believed there was still time for another goal. They were wrong. As the match crept into the second minute of injury-time, a long-range cross looked to be sailing harmlessly towards Dave Marshall. However, substitute Dave Walton managed to reach it and he was able to get in a shot that thumped off the crossbar. As the Celtic defence were caught wrong-footed, Rob Cross reacted smartly to divert the rebound past the stranded Marshall. There was barely time to restart the game. Rarely can two sets of supporters swapped sheer joy for abject misery in such a short space of time….at least not until a certain Sergio Aguero planted the ball beyond the QPR keeper last May!
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HE’S ONE OF THE COUNTRY’S TOP-SCORING M
Bigger than
Bale?
Dean Lee doesn’t think so - but he’s outgunned his top-flight counterpart domestically this season, along with many others IF you picked up a paper in the past nine months, you could not have failed to notice the exploits of one Welsh wizard. Tottenham Hotspur’s Gareth Bale has fired his way onto the back pages for all the right reasons. Nine levels down the league system - and 300 miles up the motorway - a Northern League counterpart has surpassed his domestic tally, but is lucky to get his name within the News Guardian’s column inches every Thursday evening. Meet Dean Lee, West Allotment Celtic’s very own left wing virtuoso. The fiery wide man has scored a staggering 26 goals this season - a figure that Bale has only bettered by virtue of European competition. Understandably, Dean was delighted with his goal haul for the campaign. “At the start of the season, I set myself a target of twenty,” he explained. “I hit twenty a lot earlier than I expected, obviously. I couldn’t be any happier.” With one milestone reached, the free-scoring winger set his sights on the next target. “When I hit twenty, I set myself a new target of thirty, and the lads laughed at me. Hopefully I’ll get to that target by the end of the season.” Those soon became his famous last words, as a knee injury sustained that day at Northallerton prematurely curtailed his campaign. With the club’s golden boot and a cup final still up for
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“Apart from the goals, it’s hard to compare myself to Bale. He’s on a different planet, really! He’s a top player.” grabs, Lee was “devastated that it’s finished early”. The injury proved to be the only disappointment in an otherwise remarkable year for Dean, who was only outscored by David Dormand on the final day of the league season. The winger has never gone more than three games this season without finding the net - an incredible feat for a midfielder, and one which he attributes to his predatory nature. “I just make sure I get myself in the box, and get some shots off. If you don’t shoot, you don’t score!” And score he has. His exploits from the left wing have placed him comfortably within the top ten goalscoring midfielders in the top ten tiers of English football - ahead of esteemed luminaries including Michu, Frank Lampard and Tom Ince. Subtract converted penalties from the equation, and only Ben Newson of Heybridge Swifts has scored more from open play than the Celtic talisman. This attacking approach has led to inevitable comparisons with Spurs’ midfield maestro, but Lee insisted that the similarities are superficial. “Apart from the goals, it’s hard to compare myself to Bale,” he admitted. “He scores
THREE MILES WEST MAY 2013
from midfield, which is important. He looks to beat his man, and he looks to drive forward straight away, tries to make things happen, which I try to do myself. But he’s a top player. He’s on a different planet, really!” Much like the PFA Player of the Year, ‘Deano’ has been accused in some quarters of going to ground too easily in the box - something the winger strenuously denies. One incident serves as a testament to his proclaimed innocence. Allotment were two goals to the good against visitors Chester-le-Street Town, and were on course to complete a comfortable victory. Lee had not yet troubled the scoresheet, and was desperate to do so in the game’s final throes. Racing into a one-on-one situation with Cestrians ‘keeper Matthew Crook, the wily winger rounded his adversary, only to be clipped as he steamed towards an empty net. Lee went down in stages, frantically trying to maintain his balance, and the referee kept his whistle in his pocket. Afterwards, Dean was asked if there was indeed any contact. The following retort tells you everything you need to know about his integrity and his determination. “There was contact. Why
MIDFIELDERS - AND HE PLAYS AT WHITLEY PARK else would I go down? I’m not the designated penalty taker.” The refusal to award Dean this spot-kick was not a one-off error of judgment on behalf of the officials. The winger has had his fair share of penalty appeals - some more stonewall than others - turned down throughout the season. “You can say that again,” he snipes. Why, then, have important decisions “one a week, I’d say” - gone against him? It’s a question that continues to puzzle the man himself, though he does have one rather outlandish theory. “I don’t know. I can’t answer! I just don’t think they like me. Referees don’t like me, end of story. It must be the ginger hair or something, but they just don’t like me. Haven’t got a clue!” The men in the middle might not be high on Dean’s Christmas card list, but he holds his Allotment compatriots in much higher regard. “The lads are all great craic, every one of them is sound. I get on well with all of them.” The 30-year-old could not have reached such an impressive total without the his teammates - something he is quick to acknowledge. “(Marc) Dummett is a top player, a top left-back,” he enthuses. “Not many wingers are going to get past him. So it’s good to have the reassurance that he’s left-back.” Going forward, his link-up play with two midfielders stands out - one energetic prospect, and an old teammate. “I really like playing with Sean Reid, he’s a top player. He’ll play higher than this sooner or later. Hopefully we’ll keep him for at least another year.” That said, he also enjoys lining up alongside former Shields teammate David Henderson. “I like playing football with Hendy, we’re on the same wavelength, playing one-twos and stuff. I can’t pick between them!” Arguably the biggest influence on Dean’s career has not come from his compatriots on the pitch, but from one man who continues to coach him from the sidelines. First-team coach Paul Hogg took Lee under his wing early on, first managing the explosive wide man at Annfield Plain, before taking him into the Northern League with North Shields. The UEFAlicensed schemer then brought Dean with him to Whitley Park, where
he has shone in a roaming role on the left wing. “He gives me a lot of confidence, Hoggy. He backs me up big style, lets me do what I want on the pitch, to be honest. He’s a good guy, a good bloke. He’s looked after me for a lot of years.” The pair even share an affectionate nickname, addressing each other with ‘ster’ on the end of their respective surnames - but the origin of the monikers is somewhat less romantic. “Have you ever seen Max & Paddy, when he meets his old mate, ‘Wolfster’? I just couldn’t stop laughing at that, because he just throws ‘ster’ on the end of it. So one day I call Hoggy ‘Hoggster’, and it’s just stuck. Now he’s calling everyone in the changing rooms ‘ster’!” Nothing like a little Peter Kay to bolster squad harmony. Playing with creative freedom in a strong and unified Allotment side, Lee has comfortably sailed past the previous benchmarks set at Annfield and Shields, proving to be a cool and clinical finisher when it mattered most. Spurs boss Andre Villas-Boas recently suggested that his mercurial star’s best position was. surprisingly, as a striker. Could the same be true of Dean? “On a Sunday, I play as a centre-forward, actually, or where needed,” he revealed. “I think I can do a job up front if I’m ever needed. I’d like to, actually, but I don’t get that much of an opportunity.” Dean’s individual progress has contributed to a relatively successful season for Allotment but he believes that there is more to come from the club. “I think we’ve been too inconsistent this season. I think we could go up, we’ve got the players to do it, but it’s just the consistency,” he admitted. “I don’t think we’re too far off. Hopefully next year - I said this last year! - we can challenge. I’m sure we’ll be challenging if we keep our squad together, and maybe add a few.” His scintillating form has turned heads in the Northern League, but, like a certain Welshman, he knows where his loyalties lie. “I’m really enjoying my football at the minute, scoring goals, playing well. I can see myself here next year, definitely.” He might not be bigger than Gareth Bale, but to those at Whitley Park, he has proven to be just as important.
* Correct as of 6th May. Statistics used where available.
THE NATION’S TOPSCORING MIDFIELDERS* Elliott Durrell Hednesford Town
33 goals
8 pens
David Cook Hythe Town
28 goals
5 pens
Ben Newson Heybridge Swifts
27 goals
0 pens
Stephen Spriggs King’s Lynn Town
27 goals
4 pens
Dean Lee West Allotment Celtic
26 goals
0 pens
Paul Shanley Runcorn Town
25 goals
0 pens
Gareth Bale Tottenham Hotspur
25 goals
0 pens
Sean Cooke A.F.C. Fylde
23 goals
1 pen
MAY 2013 THREE MILES WEST
21
JUSTOnside PICTURES, JAPES AND SPURIOUS STORIES FROM THE ALLOTMENT GRAPEVINE
LUCHADOR HOGGY!
!
First-team coach dons his mask to prepare for next season’s REVENGE After being felled by an unexpected suplex from Esh Winning’s Stephen Halliday, West Allotment Celtic coach Paul Hogg has resolved to get back in the ring and work on his wrestling technique over the summer break. Hogg, known in lucha libre circles as ‘El Hoggster’, was floored just five minutes after entering the fray. Tag team partner Glenn Ford could only look on as Stags captain The Silver Fox performed a full toss on the 6ft 4in schemer. The knockdown knockdown Esh minor victory night, having lost6-0 wasWinning’s Esh’s oneone minor victory on on thethe night, having lost in match thatthat hadhad taken place beforehand, 6-0the in football the football match taken place beforehand,but butthe theincident incident has has nonetheless convincedHogg Hoggtotodust dustoffoffthe the lycra and commence sparring. nonetheless convinced lycra and commence sparring. “He caught me completely unawares, it was a cheap shot,” admits Hogg. “I’m delighted that Esh Winning survived this season. The Fox won’t be quite so lucky next season.” Humbled by the controversial attack, Hogg did admit considering taking legal action, but thought it best to settle the matter in true luchador fashion - in the middle of the ring. “I thought those days were behind me, but this young 37-year-old upstart reminded me that I had unfinished business between the ropes.” Rumour has it that El Hoggster will be on the lookout for a new partner. “I was waiting for Fordy to come in with a chokeslam, or at least a sharpshooter,” admitted the disappointed Hoggster. “If Commando (Liam Hudson) had been on the pitch, he would’ve powerbombed the guy straight through the command centre.” Whilst the rest of the boys recover from last week’s excursion to Blackpool, El Hoggster will be performing workout montages and perfecting his smack talk. The committee have backed the former Shields boss, installing a secret compartment containing baseball bats, steel chairs and sledgehammers beneath the penalty spot. The coach’s first few tune-ups will take place during June, starting against George ‘The Flash’ Johnstone and Tony ‘Please Don’t Hurt Me, I Have Keyhole Surgery On Thursday’ Lancaster, before going toe to toe with wrestling legend The Rottweiler in late July. Anyone interested in sponsoring El Hoggster’s lucha libre mask or chapless trunks should contact the man himself via Twitter.
22
THREE MILES WEST MAY 2013
BEST CELEBRATION
BEST CELEBRATION DAVID DORMAND
The LuaLua. The cartwheel was missing the flip that the Congolese forward is famed for, but it’s still the most impressive display of athleticism witnessed by The Allotment fanswas this season. The LuaLua. cartwheel The cup-winning goal bad, either. missing the flip that thewasn’t Congolese forward is famed for, but it’s still the most impressive display of athleticism witnessed by Allotment fans this season. The cup-winning goal wasn’t bad either.
DAVID DORMAND
DAVID DORMAND
DAVID DORMAND
The Cisse. Dorma got on his knees after scoring four goals in one game. Whoever he’s praising - Jesus, Allah, Vishnu or Puskas - it’sDorma certainly The Cisse. gotworking. on his knees after
scoring four goals in one game. Whoever he’s praising - Jesus, Allah, Vishnu or Puskas - it’s certainly working.
DAVID DORMAND
DAVID DORMAND
The Vieri. The poacher celebrated his other 28 goals in stoic fashion, without barely The Vieri. The poacher an arm loft or a fist pump. All too often, celebrated his other 28 goals Dorma had to rely upon celebration partner Michael Bell in stoic fashion, without to bring some exuberance to the party. barely an arm loft or a fist pump. All too often, Dorma has to rely upon celebration partner Michael Bell to bring some exuberance to the party.
BEST GAFFES
MOST IMPRESSIVE JOHN PENDLEBURY GAFFES
Penders delivers in both quantity and quality. The through ball throw-in to Darlo R.A.’s Stephen Allison and the superb square headed pass to Morpeth Town’s Lee Scott both stand out as fantastic - if unintentional - assists.
JOHN PENDLEBURY STEPHEN LITTLE Penders delivers in both quantity and quality. The
Stevie almost fired histo way to the award with two and through ball throw-in Darlo R.A.’s Steve Allison excellent own goals, the most being poked the quality square headed passimpressive to Morpeth’s Leea Scott effortstand into the corner at- Jarrow Roofing. -Whoever both outtop as fantastic if unintentional assists. said the centre-half wasn’t a natural-born finisher?
STEPHEN LITTLE THIS ISSUE A close runner-up, Stevie almost fired his way to the
This is with the second time that issue three been printed, award two excellent own goals, thehas most impressive owing to what us blame-shifting humanoids call being a poked effort into the top corner at Jarrow ‘technical errors’. Consider unreserved Roofing. Whoeverthis saidanthe centre-halfapology! wasn’t a natural born finisher?
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