Three Miles West - Issue Two by Craig Dobson

MEANWHILE, THREE MILES WEST OF WEST ALLOTMENT...

THE DEFENDERS

THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF THE ALLOTMENT BACK LINE

E rer D I co s

do not scan - NOT A REAL BARCODE

Issue Two SPRING 2013

CELTIC

s m p ia R S o N t ill GE N

Il-timneny W C WIMNGLE al

TI M EL LU C L KA

THOMAS POTTER Stockist and distributor of fastenings, nuts, bolts, screws, flanges, manufacturing hose fittings and special plate flanges.

Unit 3J, Admiral Business Park, Nelson Way, Cramlington, NE23 1WG

Tel: 01670 591 100

www.thomaspotter.com MAIN SPONSORS OF WEST ALLOTMENT CELTIC

THE

CONTENTS PAGE

The Pioneers 2 The humble precursors to

West Allotment Celtic

Benny the Bountiful

STONA SMASH!

Celtic’s all-time top scorer reflects on his prolific career

Demand For Local Produce?

OM! O O O O BO Ow, my pride!

The locality of the Celtic squad, past and present

Top Five... 10 ...of the club’s penalty

blunders so far this season

The Defenders

The story of the back four - in graphic novel form

Clamped: Kallum McGlen

The potential Burundian connection at Whitley Park

The New Entertainers

Allotment’s right-winger talks form and misfortune

The French Revolution?

How Celtic stack up against KK’s swashbuckling Magpies

Just Onside

A light-hearted take on club goings-on

Welcome to the second issue of Three Miles West. Whether you’re a die-hard Allotment stalwart looking to reflect on yesteryear, or wish to read about the latest goings-on at Whitley Park, there’s something here for you. And, unlike the debut issue, it is current. No outdated Valentine’s Day features or front covers in this edition, no sir (or madam). Our thanks go to Benny Williams, Alex Smailes, Martin Short, Jimmy Wilson, Graeme Jackson, Kallum McGlen, Stephen Little, Paul Stoneman, Paul Hogg and Ian Dunn for their assistance, imparted wisdom and/or images. We must also extend our gratitude once again to our main magazine sponsors Environmental Construction Solutions for their vital and most valued support. If you enjoy the magazine a fraction as much as Allotment’s recent performances - which, by all accounts, have been tremendous - we’ll consider it a job well done!

THE TEAM Craig Dobson Stephen Allott Jonny Thompson

Editor Contributor / Archivist Advertising

Have an Allotment story that you’d like to share? Or any interesting or useful snaps hidden away in the attic? Send your articles, photos or queries to magazine@ westallotmentcelticfc.com.

ADVERTISE WITH US If you’re looking to gain exposure for your company or business with a half-page or full-page advert, contact the Commercial Team at sponsorship@westallotmentcelticfc. com. The club always appreciates and reciprocates any support it receives, so please do get in touch!

The Pioneers FOOTBALL was played in mining villages throughout the nineteenth century. However, it was only towards the end of the century that the game began to be played in a more organised manner. The creation of the Northumberland Football Association (NFA) in 1883 was a key event. Organized competitions could now be run from a central point. Inauguration of both the NFA Minor Cup and the Northern Alliance League (NAL) in season 1890/91 was vital in ensuring that organised football would thrive at local level. These were both competitions which West Allotment Celtic were destined to win in forthcoming years. The game became an increasingly important part of the life of the mining communities as more and more leagues and knock-out competitions were instituted. However, a lot of these tournaments and the teams playing in them were short lived. The ephemeral existence of many teams and competitions persisted throughout Northumberland and Durham until World War I. Financial problems were the most common cause of the instability but many other local factors also had to be taken into consideration, such as the unavailability of pitches. The early clubs in West Allotment commenced life in a challenging environment. Could they survive? The first team to play in an organised league under the West Allotment name competed in the Byker & District League in season 1908/09. The team played in this league for only one season and finished in the bottom half of the table. Their inaugural game resulted in a three-nil defeat at the hands of Byker Jubilee. So, West Allotment made a moderate start in league football and in the following season, 1909/10, the team reappeared in the Blyth & District League (BDL). The reasons behind the switch of competitions remain unclear but the Blyth league was a very credible competition at this time. The BDL had been formed in 1904 and was run under the auspices of the NFA. It was very competitive, soon boasting two divisions and attracting a collection of upcoming teams along with some older names beginning the slide into oblivion. However, as World War I approached, the league no longer possessed a Second Division. The football edition of the Evening Chronicle exclaimed “for several seasons, the BDL promised to take a leading place in Northumberland football, and even threatened to become a serious rival to the (Northern) Alliance. But that appears all over now. And why?”. No answers were forthcoming, although the problems of finance and rapid turnover of

Stephen Allott considers the humble forerunners to West Allotment Celtic

teams must have played their part. The fortunes of the first West Allotment side were to mirror those of the league in which they played, initial triumph followed by a rapid decline. Naturally, West Allotment were placed in the Second Division during their first season in the BDL and the team made an impressive start, losing just two of their opening fifteen league games. A race for the title soon developed between West Allotment and Cramlington West End. It remained a tight battle until the end of the season but the West Allotment side managed to win games when their Cramlington rivals could only draw. To the immense satisfaction of the villagers, those crucial extra points resulted in the first ever league honours coming to West Allotment. The club was not so successful in the knock-out competitions. Hartford Burdon, members of the First Division of the BDL, dismissed West Allotment from the NFA Minor Cup on 6th November 1909 in the second round of the competition. A significant number of local clubs continued to struggle to survive. Three of those clubs which started the 1909/10 season in the Second Division of the Blyth league failed to complete their fixtures. Dinnington, Hartley Shamrocks and Hazlerigg all dropped out of the league during the course of the season. Each league had to reshuffle clubs in the close season to keep divisions competitive and viable. The BDL was no exception, so West Allotment found themselves facing many of their old Second Division rivals when they began the 1910/11 season in the First Division following their promotion. Rapid turnover of clubs was not the only issue causing consternation for the local football authorities in the early part of the century. The football played at this time was often brutal with disciplinary problems a regular cause for concern. A miner from Hazlerigg illustrated this point at his misconduct hearing in 1910 when he exclaimed “Ye knaa what pit lads are like when tha lose tha heeds”. Several players were banned for life and evidence suggests that it was teams from the mining communities which produced by far the greatest number of disciplinary problems. Problems of order were not always confined to the pitch. Incidents involving spectators were a regular occurrence. As early as 1895 the crowd threatened to lynch the referee during a game played at Shankhouse. In 1912, the ground at Earsdon was closed after a set of incidents involving spectators and opposing players. The problem was obviously difficult to solve. The Earsdon matter occurred eight years after the secretary of the NFA reported that “a good many complaints have been made against clubs regarding the conduct of spectators. The practice of commencing hostilities against visiting teams and referees is becoming quite common in some districts of the county”. Another difficulty facing officials in the years leading up to World War I was that

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of getting games finished before dusk set in. A game was abandoned at West Allotment on 10th December 1910 due to “darkness”. It was suggested that the Blyth league ought to copy other competitions and fix kick off times at no later than 2.15 p.m. The Evening Chronicle stated that “the difficulties in the way of an early start are fully appreciated ; but it is wonderful what can be done sometimes when football managers decide upon a strong course of action”. The main problem with an early start, of course, was that many players could not get away from their work in time to meet the kick off. The colliery again cast its shadow over the life of the villagers. Back on the pitch, West Allotment continued to make progress. The team responded well to the challenge of being in the First Division of the BDL and produced another very successful season. The club won four out of its first five games with the other one drawn. Twenty one goals were scored in those five games and only five conceded. The success of the side seemed to surprise contemporary reporters. A summary of a game played on 12th November 1910 noted that “it came as a surprise to find that West Allotment had appropriated both points at the expense of Seaton Delaval”. However, West Allotment continued this good run and were unbeaten in their first nine games, winning eight of them. The only teams staying in contention were Shankhouse and Seghill United. George Sampson hit a hat trick for the side on 3rd December 1910 as “Waterford cut a sorry figure at West Allotment and got badly beaten”. Unfortunately, the side began to falter after the turn of the year and allowed Shankhouse to take over leadership of the league. Seghill had joined the also rans so Allotment’s game against Shankhouse on 22nd April 1911 at their Arcot Park pitch effectively became a title decider. To the disappointment of the West Allotment supporters, Shankhouse dominated the crucial game and won comfortably to make themselves champions elect. The Champions conceded a mere fifteen goals during the season. Whilst West Allotment were the most prolific team in terms of scoring, averaging three goals per game, they let too many in at the other end to match Shankhouse. The 1910/11 season proved to be the apogee in the history of the pioneer West Allotment club, although the team did manage to finish sixth in the league the following season. Repeating the pattern of the previous campaign, the club made an impressive start to the 1911/12 season. Excellent away wins at Cramlington Black Watch (3-0) and Seaton Delaval (4-2) put the club in a challenging position at Christmas time. Despite a battling performance in a strongly contested game, it was another defeat at the hands of Shankhouse on 20th January 1912 that ended all hopes of their winning the championship. Shankhouse went on to

retain their title whilst West Allotment finished sixth, completing the season with eighteen points to their name. The team had a reasonable run in the NFA Minor Cup during 1911/12. They beat Seaton Burn by two goals to nil at a time when West Allotment were leaders of the First Division and their opponents were top of the Second Division. The next round saw a victory over local rivals Earsdon Road United before Allotment were knocked-out by Hirst St.Johns of Ashington in the fourth round. The dip in form which followed the defeat by Shankhouse in early 1912 proved to be irreversible. The rot had set in and the decline of West Allotment FC was about to prove terminal. The team’s fourth season in the BDL was to be their last and they failed to complete more than two league fixtures. At the end of January 1913 the team were still noted in the league tables. However, the two fixtures played had resulted in two defeats with a single goal scored and nine conceded. The club had died rather pitifully and the outbreak of World War I meant that there was no time for a resurrection of league football in the village. The reasons behind the fall of the club are not recorded. Financial issues almost certainly played a part but there may have been other reasons. Lack of a regular pitch is a possibility as the club was dependent upon the local landowners for the supply of this essential facility. The landowners, usually the coal company, were not always guaranteed to provide a pitch and leases were terminated on a regular basis. It was destined to become a recurrent problem. Football continued in the neighbouring villages after the demise of West Allotment, with Backworth Hotspur and Earsdon Road United persevering in the increasingly depleted BDL. The United Free Churches League had Shiremoor Primitive Methodists and Shiremoor Mission competing against other church based teams located in the South-East Northumberland area. It was this aspect of local football which was to flourish in West Allotment after the war and ultimately lead to the formation of West Allotment Celtic in 1928.

Stephen’s excellent comprehensive history of West Allotment Celtic F.C., Playing In The Back Garden, is available to purchase from Amazon’s marketplace, with prices starting at £25.

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CELTIC’S ALL-TIME TOP SCORER BENNY WILLIAMS DISCUSSES HIS CAREER, THE ALLOTMENT OF YESTERYEAR AND A COSTUME CHANGE ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT...

Benny the Bountiful “WHERE did you get him from? Right foot, left foot...so natural.” The reported words of former Sunderland captain Rob Hindmarch upon observing Benny Williams in action. West Allotment’s star player lived up to this billing for over a decade. The clinical striker scored 406 goals in 429 games throughout the seventies and early eighties, toppling club records with every deft finish. Not that Benny would ever tell you. Modest and unassuming, Allotment’s all-time top scorer quietly supped his pint at The Hunting Lodge in West Monkseaton, whilst Martin Short and his former manager Alex Smailes extolled his predatory virtues. “Thank you, Alec, that’s very kind,” he said, a little uncomfortable with the high praise bestowed upon him. That praise was, and is, easy to justify. Nobody has scored goals quite like Benny at Allotment. During his twelve years at the club, only twice did he fail to surpass the 25-goal mark - in his first season, where he only featured in the latter half of the campaign, and in his last, which ended prematurely after just nine games. For an entire decade, Benny averaged 39 goals a season. And yet, despite his impressive personal achievements, Benny is quick to acknowledge those that helped him reach his goals. “It all depended on who you had in midfield to supply you with passes,” he readily admitted. “If you put your hand up and pointed to where you were going to make a run, as long as I made that run, and I knew the guy was going to ping it into space. Because what we always used to try to do was to draw their defence, so they wouldn’t sit deep, so you would pull them up to leave obviously a lot of space.” Of the

maestros pulling the strings behind him, Benny had two particular favourites. “(Dave) Chaffey, and Harry Milburn. Harry was a showboater an’ all. What he wanted to do in games was nutmeg people, and he’d shout “nutmeg” every time he did it. But Harry was good, tough, stocky.” Once the midfield’s phase of the gameplan had been executed, it was all down to Benny. “Then it was one-on-one with the ‘keepers. But you had to have pace. And the ability to shoot with both feet naturally.” And goals with the head? “Yes, even though I’m not very tall! But it was like Brian McNally (Sunday Mirror sports writer) always says: ‘You head the ball like Denis Law’.” As Alex succinctly put it, he was “an absolute all-rounder.” The forward fired Allotment to twelve cup finals in as many years, so it comes as no surprise that the goals he deems to be his most significant came en route to silverware. “The most important was when we won 1-0 in the Amateur Cup final against Amble. And it was just a header. Harry knocked it in and I got up and...” Benny mimicked the heading gesture, complete with an improbable tocking noise. “Being a small guy, you get up there, and then you smack it.” The cup-winning goal may have been Benny’s most decisive in an Allotment shirt, but one of the most memorable was scored in the preceding round. “Another one was against Forest Hall in the semifinal. At Forest Hall. And the crowd...You couldn’t get near the pitch.” It wasn’t just the sense of occasion at the Procter & Gamble pitch that set the goal apart from the others. Rather, it was a fierce

THREE MILES WEST SPRING 2013

local rivalry between the opposing sides, which manifested itself in a wager. “Our goalkeeper, who was a Killingworth lad, had a bet with Eric Daniels, the centre-half for Forest Hall, who was big, a monster. He’d rip your head off and spit down your neck. They had a bet that I wouldn’t score. And Ronnie says, ‘He’ll score’. So he was after me all game.” Of course, Celtic ‘keeper Ronnie Blacklin was backing the favourite. In 1974/75 - one of the striker’s most prolific seasons - a Benny Williams goal was something of an inevitability. And so it proved on the day, despite

Benny Williams, far right, alongside teammate Derek Stoneman and Liverpool and England star Ray Kennedy

“One of them (the committee) came off and said, in a Tyneside accent, ‘Aye, that was a grand hat-trick Benny - but you should’ve had six!’” Daniels’ best efforts to keep him off the scoresheet. “The ball was played in short, and I remember, on the turn, I just knocked it past him, peeled off and went round, and then knocked it past the ‘keeper from there. And I think we won 1-0. So Ronnie won his bet!” What of the other four hundred and four goals? “I know what you mean about memorable goals but...there’s so many!” Benny laughed. “There were some in off your backside, of course, but they all count.” The humble goal-getter was keen to point out that, despite his enviable record, he did not always find the back the net. “There were a lot of misses in there, too! One good thing was, you know what the committee are like at Allotment...one of them came off and said, in a Tyneside accent, ‘Aye, that was a grand hat-trick, Benny - but you should’ve had six!’ And I said, ‘Well if I’d scored six, I wouldn’t be playing for you - I’d be playing for a living!’ But they were lovely guys. You had to play for them.” He referred to both Alex and the late John Jackson as

“Mr. Allotment”. “In your article, please mention how much I thought of John. He was larger than life,” Benny said about the latter, solemn and respectful when discussing one of the club’s most committed servants. Like many of his cohorts, Benny’s amateur career was shaped by his vocation - and, were it not for the acquisition of his parent company, the attacker might never have turned out for Allotment. “I’d worked as an engineer for Angus, which is now B&Q on the Coast Road. So I was an engineer for them, so when I started playing senior football, it was for Angus. And what happened was they got taken over by Dunlop. Well, Angus had a sports field - the George Angus Sports Ground. So Dunlop saw this massive asset, and said ‘let’s sell it.’ They sold it to the gas board, so then I needed a team.” The ground was renamed the British Gas Sports Ground, becoming better known by its current moniker - Blue Flames. “Ironically, it’s come full circle, and West Allotment are playing there now.”

When Benny first turned up at Backworth Welfare, Allotment were far from the title contenders that they were soon to become. “West Allotment were something like third bottom of the Amateur League, struggling desperately. So I said ‘Oh right, I’ll finish the season with them, and see how it turns out.’ So when I got there, they really were bad. I knew why they were third bottom!” The striker’s contribution behind the scenes was just as telling as that in front of goal. “The only lad I knew was a guy called Ray Taylor from Sunday league football, and he was going to leave, because he was the only decent player there,” he recalled. “He said, ‘I’m wasting my time.’ So I said, ‘Look, I’m coming until the end of the season’. He said, ‘Can you get any more players?’ So I got all my Sunday league lads Derek Stoneman, Dave Newstead, Harry Milburn, Dave Chaffey. I brought all these players in, and we finished the season with mid-table respectability. And then we just progressed from there.”

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Benny Williams West Allotment Celtic Career Statistics SEASON 1970/71 1971/72 1972/73 1973/74 1974/75 1975/76 1976/77 1977/78 1978/89 1979/80 1980/81 1981/82 TOTAL

GAMES 21 38 35 42 48 40 41 40 43 37 35 9 429

GOALS 13 41 36 55 48 39 42 30 39 35 26 2 406

That transition from also-rans to cup winners began in earnest with Smailes’ arrival as manager - something Benny actively encouraged. “Alex managed a Sunday league team, and when our manager left, I put his name forward. Once we got Alex in, it all took off.” The board, however, were not without their reservations regarding the potential appointment. “A few of the committee thought Alex was outspoken, and it might be a bit too much for them. But I said that they were missing a golden opportunity.” Ultimately, the committee relented. Smailes guided Allotment through their most successful period in over a decade, with his centre-forward taking centre stage. “And the rest is history. Ancient history, unfortunately!” Benny laughed. With a consistent goalscoring average that would make Malcolm Macdonald blush, Williams should have had clubs queuing around the block for his signature. Instead, the same misguided perception that threatened the early careers of Bremner, Best and Alan Ball kept the professional clubs away. “I was probably a bit small, really,” the diminuitive forward conceded, a note of resignation in his voice. In a time where centre-forwards were expected to be physically imposing, a player of Benny’s stature quite literally slipped under the radar. That said, there was still considerable interest at amateur level. “I know North Shields, after we played them (were interested). Of course, these teams were

HAT-TRICKS 0 5 2 9 4 4 5 1 5 3 0 0 38

bigger then. North Shields were the biggest team around here.” Instead of switching to the Robins, the striker set his sights on Northern League football with a well-known County Durham outlet. And, once again, his future teammates’ influence was all to keenly felt in the workplace.

“The reason I went to Bishop Auckland was because Bobby Elmer and them lot goaded me. They said, ‘You can score goals at that level, but can you step up?’ They used to always goad me, because they worked at the same place as I did.” And Benny was at pains to stress that footballing ambition was a far greater incentive than any wages on offer. “You weren’t in it for money. You didn’t even think about money. They paid you, but that wasn’t why I went. It was really because they’d said, ‘Can you step up a level?’ And I thought, ‘Well, it’s a challenge.’” He enthusiastically discussed the Bishops’ reputation, culminating in the club’s assistance of Manchester United after the Munich air disaster in 1958. “They had a fantastic history, and that’s another one of the reasons why I went there.” Unfortunately, his long-awaited stint in the Northern League took a turn for the worse. “That particular season, I got my shoulder done at Workington in a preseason friendly, by a goalkeeper who took me out with his boot on my shoulder.” With their recent signing sidelined, the Bishops looked elsewhere for their goals. “In the meantime, they signed a fantastic goalscorer called Ian Crumplin from Hartlepool. I was still getting a game. And then we were both in the same position, we were both making the same runs.” With Crumplin excelling in his position, it only seemed a matter of time before Ian would supplant Benny as the side’s attacking focal point. “I’m assuming that, because obviously the manager has spent a lot of money on this guy, so he’s not going to say to me ‘look, you’re slightly better than he is’ - I wasn’t, he was a really good player.”

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“We got on the 308 up the Coast Road, and got changed on the bus. All you needed was the Match of the Day music as the doors opened!” The prodigal son returned to the North Tyneside village club. “I said to Alec, ‘I’ve done my little foray.’ At the time I left, we were at the top of the league, so I vindicated myself, as I had scored a lot of goals.” The former forward stopped short of saying that Allotment was where he felt at home - not because it was untrue, but because it was unnecessary. Williams picked up where he left off, firing Celtic to the Benevolent Bowl final, and going one better in the Northern Amateur League Cup final replay one week later. But Benny’s untimely misfortune returned towards the end of the 1980/81 campaign. Allotment were still challenging for the Northern Amateur League title when they took on Annitsford Welfare - but a broken arm soon put paid to any hopes of championship glory. “That was getting out of the way of a tackle, by the way, from Stephen Ord,” he says, still remembering the challenge (and the opposing player’s name) vividly after 32 years. “He came sliding in, so I sort of jumped, and my forearm, and his head, it hit my bloody arm. But I carried on, and after a while I came off. I drove myself one-armed to the hospital.” Benny played just nine games after the incident - but full-time employment also had a marked impact on the career of a part-time footballer. “At the time, you see, I had left engineering, and had a milk round, so I had to still get on with it with my plaster on. And that was one of the reasons why I tailed off. I just couldn’t commit because I’d gone self-employed.” In the meantime, former teammate Les Jackson was installed as manager, and his appointment marked the beginning of the end of Benny’s Allotment career. “He brought me back from injury too

Benny, third from the right on the front row, with his championship-winning teammates in 1982.

early, to be honest,” he recalled. “I always remember his words. He said, ‘Other teams look at the team sheet, and if you’re not on it, they go ‘oh, he’s not playing, great!’ so I need you to be on that team sheet.’ And I wasn’t fit, I wasn’t match fit or anything. So in games, I’d gone off the boil, so to speak. It doesn’t matter what level you play at, if you’re not match fit, you’ll soon get found out and I got found out.” When the predatory striker did return to fitness, the customary role was no longer his. “I did get back into it, but he wanted to change the way we played. He wanted me to change my game. He brought a good lad in called Dave Jennings, who really was a speed merchant - if I thought I was quick, he was a sprinter. So he took my position, which I didn’t mind. But business was taking over, so I just dropped out of it.” Benny remained dormant for years, with the milk round taking over, but made a comeback years later, at the head of The Alexandra’s pub team. “We did some training, and we started a team up. But these young ‘uns were crap, so all three of us (Bob Rodgerson and John Humberstone of Percy Main) came out of retirement, and we got promotion. We finished second in the league that year,” he beamed.

Thirty-one years on from his departure, Benny looks set to make a return - in a spectatorial capacity. “I did go to the Morpeth Town game, and thoroughly enjoyed it. I will start to go more now, as I did enjoy it. It was a good atmosphere, and it was nice to see.” Much like the current crop of Allotment players, Benny played football as often as possible over the weekends. Indeed, one of his most memorable Allotment tales also encompasses Sunday league football - and the relaxed attitudes towards fitness. “We’d been playing on the Sunday morning, we’d gone to the Fat Ox in Whitley Bay and had a few beers, and realised, ‘We’re late!’ We got on the 308 up the Coast Road, and got changed on the bus. All you needed was the Match of the Day music as the doors opened, and we all got off the bus!” It was a reference that would go over the heads of today’s generation, harking back to a bygone era - much like Benny himself. The club legend is the embodiment of everything that Allotment represented, and still represents today: loyalty, commitment, and a desire to enjoy entertaining football. As the old adage goes, you won’t see a player like that again unless you frequent The Hunting Lodge on a Sunday evening.

Benny in action, scoring two of his 406 goals

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A demand for local Stephen Allott considers what it once meant to be a homegrown means in the twenty-first century “SHOP local” has been the cry of an ever-wider range of people in recent years, building on a philosophy that has been exercising the world of academia for several decades. Now that environmentalists and politicians have kicked the concept down the stairs of the ivory towers, screaming and kicking into the glare of the general public then it seems only right to see how your local football club is contributing to the debate! Is West Allotment Celtic adhering to the sports pages in the 2011 Localism Bill?

thanks to increased mobility and ultra-fast communication networks. Perhaps we should leave detailed analysis of this contradiction to the more academic journals but, as this learned magazine’s offering to the discussion, let’s see how this contest between the local and universal has been reflected in the playing personnel of your very own local football club. Thanks to the previous (very local and very vocal!) generations of West Allotment Celtic committee men, we have an invaluable source of information in Volumes 2 and 3 of the increasingly dog-eared ledger books, that not only show who played in which game but, vitally, note down the address of each player. (Incidentally, Volume 1 is long-lost – the Ark of the Covenant for those researching the history of the club - i.e. me!) So, starting in 1958 and using ten year interludes, let’s see just how “local” those turning out for West Allotment have been in terms of their home base.

“Relating or restricted to a particular area or one’s neighbourhood”; so goes the Oxford English dictionary definition of “local”. Yet, amidst this concentration on the parochial, there is a feeling that it flies in the face of the alternative theory that we now all live in a “global village”

100% 90% 80% 70% 60% 50% 40% 30% 20% 10% 0%

1958

1968

1978

1988

1998

2008

Other - north of the River Tyne

Whitley Bay, North Shields, Tynemouth

South of the River Tyne

Backworth, Shiremoor, Earsdon

Newcastle & Suburbs

West Allotment

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Clearly, Allotment have been moving away from “shopping local” for some time now. The last player to represent the club on a regular basis and actually live in West Allotment was Paul Chadkirk. The full-back not only lived in the village but in one of the original colliery terraces too; however, Paul last turned out for Allotment in 2004. Of course, ex-manager Terry Mitchell was an inhabitant of Allotment, which perhaps explains why he found so much joy in bringing home a haul of silverware that would have delighted Bluebeard. Since then, Celtic have almost gone international at times, by signing the likes of Dean Douglas, who actually lived in Harraby, near Carlisle. One of the most exciting players to play for the club in recent times, Dean might as well have been living abroad the number of times he arrived literally moments before kick-off having got lost en route from continental Cumbria – and this despite him being a postie! To some degree there is no surprise that fewer and fewer players have come from the immediate locale. The industrial heart of Allotment died in the 1960’s as the local pits

produce? West Allotment player - and what it

were closed one by one, soon followed by those in neighbouring settlements in Backworth, Shiremoor and Earsdon. It was announced in January 1963 that 246 jobs were to go at Algernon Pit in West Allotment and within three years, the whole operation was gone. In a classic case of “cause and effect”, there was a distinct movement of local folk away to re-settle in new towns with new jobs, such as Cramlington and Killingworth. Not surprisingly, the football club had to find a new source of players and while some of this involved tracking down old favourites to the new suburbs, there was suddenly an increased focus on the Whitley Bay and North Shields areas. Naturally, increased car ownership and general mobility meant this was less of an issue than it might have been previously but it did mean an increased demand for the better players from more clubs spread over a wider geographical area. Other factors too have contributed to the disaspora of playing personnel over the years. The impact that a particular individual can have on the playing stock cannot be discounted. A recent example is ex-manager Gary Middleton who brought in several players from his own home base of Ashington/ Bedlington; a source rarely exploited previously by the club. Interestingly, the club’s move to the Northern League has also seen a dramatic widening of the home base of players and this

is aided and abetted by the much higher turnover in personnel since joining the competition. In each of the 2009/10 and 2010/11 seasons, over fifty different individuals pulled on a green and white hooped jersey; easily surpassing any earlier campaigns. The overall impact on the club of joining the Northern League is perhaps the basis for a future article but there is no doubt that it has had a powerful effect on the range and longevity, careerwise, of those representing the club. What happens in the future is open to conjecture. In theory, it seems logical to suppose that there will be a swing back towards players residing in West Allotment, Shiremoor and Backworth as new estates are built over land previously occupied by the mines that supplied the players and officials who stocked the club in previous decades. Yet, the population of West Allotment has been increaing steadily for over ten years now but with little impact on the club in terms of players or officials. With the club now based almost three miles from its eponymous home, are those based in Benton and Forest Hall actually the new “home base” for the club? A heretical thought to those who grew up believing Forest Hall were the natural “enemy” but times and people have moved on. Not only are Allotment not shopping locally anymore; there is a doubt as to what now even constitutes “local”.

The 1959/60 Allotment squad Back: Joe Richardson (Shiremoor), Derek Johnston (Holystone), Ken Dawson (Monkseaton), George Watson (Shiremoor), Albert Freel (New York), John Bell (Shiremoor) Front: George Forster (Forest Hall), Eric Allott (Backworth), George Broughton (Gateshead), Billy Bewicke (Burradon), Tom Nixon (Monkseaton)

SPRING 2013 THREE MILES WEST

FI VE P

PENALTY BLUNDERS

West Allotment have scored thirty yard screamers, delicate lobs, goals from slick passing moves, and thumping headers from set-pieces. But, in keeping with fine English tradition, they have encountered a number of difficulties from twelve yards. Here are five unfortunate examples.

5. THE ASSISTANT REFEREE Thornaby, 13th October 2012 Sean Reid is the only Celtic penalty taker with a 100% success record this season. That statistic may have been altered at Thornaby, where the assistant ordered his converted spot-kick to be retaken after the ‘keeper strayed off his line. Common sense ultimately prevailed, and the goal rightly stood.

4. DAVID DORMAND Brandon United, 10th January 2013 With Allotment 2-0 down in County Durham, the poacher missed the chance to reduce arrears late on, smashing his penalty well over the crossbar. Fortunately, Brandon fielded an ineligible player, voiding the result. Thus, Dorma never missed, as, technically, the game was never played...

3. LIAM HUDSON Darlington Railway Athletic, 5th September 2012 The visiting team at Brinkburn Road, Celtic could have taken an early lead after Dean Lee was shoved in the box. With regular taker Reid missing from the squad, Liam Hudson stepped up to take the penalty. However, his low effort was well saved by Alex Kell, who got down to tip the striker’s effort around the post.

2. DEAN LEE Ryton & Crawcrook Albion, 2nd February 2013 The regular taker was on the pitch but off colour at Ryton. Feeling that it was not his day in front of goal, Reid handed the duties to top scorer Dean Lee. It was not Allotment’s day in general, as the winger’s central penalty was parried, and the visitors failed to convert numerous other chances in a goalless stalemate.

1. MARC DUMMETT Team Northumbria, 20th February 2013 Allotment were trailing by one goal to Team North when Lee drew another foul in the box. Up stepped the calm and composed Dummett, a man well-known for taking grounded, precise penalties. He proceeded to blaze the ball yards clear of the crossbar. Celtic recovered to win 3-2 in extra-time - sparing everyone the inevitable agony of a penalty shootout defeat.

THREE MILES WEST SPRING 2013

WELCOME TO WHITLEY PARK, HOME OF...

and at least seven other plaYers. but this article isn’t about us!

July 2012. With the summer sun comes renewed optimism, as celtic look to build upon last season’s 7th-placed finish...

SIMON Wilthew. He’s a versatile defender from Monkseaton Arms with bags of potential.

GLENN FORD, PAUL HAXON AND LIAM MCIVOR HAVE ALL MOVED ON. HOW WILL WE REPLACE THEM?

AND OF COURSE, MANY OF OUR REGULARS - MYSELF INCLUDED - ARE STILL HERE...

DON’T WORRY, I HAVE A SUITABLE REPLACEMENT IN MIND...

A FOUR MATCH UNBEATEN RUN IN THE LEAGUE CAME TO AN ABRUPT END AGAINST CROOK TOWN...

Excellent! ...who?

Three.

WELL PLAYED.

I HATE YOU.

THWACK! FIVE?

...BUT THE WORST WAS YET TO COME.

SEVEN?!

IF RYHOPE HAD A SCOREBOARD, THIS IS HOW IT WOULD’VE READ.

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We didn’t have a settled team at the start of the season, I don’t think. We were chopping and changing too much.

WITH NEW SIGNING RYAN BEAL DEPUTISING, DEFENSIVE PERFORMANCES IMPROVED...

hand...or face?

after ames’ injury, THE BRIEF, RAPID TURNOVER OF STAND-IN ‘keepers didn’T help either.

MARC DUMMETT WON SEPTEMBER’S PLAYER OF THE MONTH AWARD.

BACK-TO-BACK CLEAN SHEETS SOON FOLLOWED...

Where’s the COMPLIMENTARY WINE? THE COMMITTEE DRANK IT.

JUST KEEP SMILING FOR THE CAMERA.

I’m also the third-choice ‘keeper!

SEVEN GOALS? SO WHAT! IT’S ALL ABOUT THE CLEAN SHEET!

I SEEM TO HAVE A REPUTATION FOR OWN GOALS. I DON’T KNOW WHY!

JOHN, NO!

Don’t head the ball that way! sorry mate, got a ball to catch!

BOF

IMPRESSIVE SHOWINGS AGAINST RYHOPE, BILLINGHAM AND TOW LAW...

...WERE BALANCED OUT BY DROPPED POINTS AGAINST JARROW ROOFING AND MORPETH TOWN.

...but the defence were not solely to blame.

! K N O H T CONSECUTIVE DRUBBINGS CAME AT THE HANDS OF NORTHALLERTON AND NORTH SHIELDS...

THREE MILES WEST SPRING 2013

As a team, we haven’t defended very well. we’ve had a couple of wallopings, but i don’t think that will happen again this season.

AND, AT THE TIME OF WRITING, SO IT HAS PROVED. AFTER A TIMELY WINTER BREAK...

I THINK CHRIS IS A REALLY TALENTED PLAYER. i think it suits him now, where he sees a lot of the game in front of him. he’s been really outstanding in the last five or six games.

...THE BACK FOUR KEPT CLEAN SHEETS AGAINST ALNWICK, RYTON AND ESH WINNING.

NOD!

OM! O O O O BO

...and Stephen little belatedly won it one month later.

I would say that he’s probably been our best player, performance-wise. he’s turned into a good defender.

WINGER-CUM-FULL-BACK CHRIS DOUGLAS DESERVEDLY WON THe PLAYER OF THE FESTIVE PERIOD accolade...

Ow, my pride!

STONA SMASH!

STONA HIMSELF HAS ROLLED BACK THE YEARS, WINNING EVERY AERIAL CHALLENGE WITH CONSUMMATE EASE.

and what of stalwart vice-captain penders? I DON’T LIKE BEING INTERVIEWED.

It’ll happen sooner or later, john.

...TWO TOP ‘KEEPERS...

...and standin stopper sean reid is A PRESENCE in both boxes.

HEADS ON IT!

the full-backs have also weighed in with their fair share of assists...

and an in-form back line...

ALLotment will look to build on their RECENT 11-match unbeaten run.

We’ve got our two banks of four now, and we’re defending higher up the pitch. We’re a tighter unit.

with two cups to play for...

“boys, if you need a hand adding to those nine clean sheets, you know where i am... BACK on the bench.”

GLENN FORD?! to be continued...

SPRING 2013 THREE MILES WEST

Contrary to popular - and mistaken - belief, Northern League football is worlds away from a Sunday stroll in the park. Every season, hundreds of eager young hopefuls look to make the step up. Some succeed, going on to enjoy long and fruitful semi-professional careers with a multitude of clubs. Invariably, others fail. The inexperienced younglings warm the coldest of benches, before quietly moving on in search of regular playing time. And then there’s Kallum McGlen. The 20-year-old has been on the books at Division Two side Ryton & Crawcrook Albion, but his first prolonged taste of Northern League action has come in a green and white hooped shirt. Since signing for Allotment in the summer, Kallum has been in and out of the side - through no fault of his own. What looked to be a promising debut season for the winger has been bookended by frustration and misfortune. It all started so brightly. The fledgling wide man impressed in pre-season, helping himself to a brace in a 9 - 1 rout against former club Ponteland, and was pleased with the setup - which includes many of his Sunday league teammates. “I like it here, it’s decent here. All the lads are spot on. Stona’s a good manager, a good coach. It’s spot on. “ After starting three consecutive games early in the season, the return of Michael Bell and Liam Hudson pushed Kallum down the pecking order by September. “It was frustrating, aye, very frustrating,” he admitted. “I just wanted my chance, a chance to get on and show what I could do.”

Despite the painful snapped ligaments, Kallum smiles at the prospect of two months off work

THREE MILES WEST SPRING 2013

A number of second-half cameos from the bench followed, and injuries to Hudson and fellow winger Tony Lancaster afforded McGlen the opportunity to reclaim his place. “I knew I could do better at the start.,” he conceded. “But I was happy - it helps to start getting into the team.” Kallum failed to nail down his place on the team sheet - not through want of trying, but due to the sheer strength of competition within the squad. Centre-forward Hudson was frequently being deployed on the right hand side, and the return of the consistently impressive Chris Douglas threatened Kallum’s place in the first eleven. However, rather than bemoaning the number of players able to play in his position, Kallum welcomed the opportunity to fight for his place regularly. “It’s superb having competition. You don’t like to see yourself getting a game week in, week out without having a challenge for your place. So it’s better to have people in there, definitely.” With his sleeves and socks rolled up, McGlen turned on the style in November. The Montagu & Fenham graduate bagged two assists in the pulsating draw against Morpeth, finding the heads of Dormand and Hudson with two equally exquisite crosses. A fortnight later, the rampant McGlen ran rings around Tow Law, assisting Dean Lee in a 5-1 romp. It had taken three months, but Kallum was finally happy with his form. “I felt that I was playing really well, actually. I felt like I was getting better and better - and fitter and fitter,” he beamed. As the festive period beckoned, Christmas brought Kallum an early, unwelcome but entirely necessary present - a new job. “We missed a lot of games with the bad weather when they’ve been called off, so I was lucky that way,” the winger explained. “But I’ve tried to swap shifts, take holidays when I can and what have you, but sometimes you just can’t do it, and there’s a lot of Saturdays involved at work.” Kall’s new vocation ranks him amongst the most unpopular workmen in the United Kingdom, up there with bailiffs, bankers and personal injury lawyers. When he’s not at Whitley Park, McGlen can be found prowling the streets of Blakelaw, ticket machine in hand. Your friendly neighbourhood civil enforcement officer - traffic warden for short. Does Kallum enjoy the power

that comes with the profession? “No, I hate it! I don’t want to put tickets on cars all of the time! It’s a horrible job. I’m changing jobs, hopefully within the next two weeks. I’m nearly there!” Perhaps mindful of his new occupation, fate sided once more against McGlen. A prospective Saturday tie against Alnwick Town was brought forward to the Friday night, allowing McGlen to feature. The winger’s fortunes seemed to be changing - only for a seemingly innocuous challenge to dispel that notion. “What it was...he’s coming in from the side, and I knocked it past him, and then he just caught me on the inside of the ankle. I got caught underneath, and it just twisted from the outside. I just felt it snap, I felt it in my ankle. When it happened, I was devastated.” The injury would keep Kallum out for seven weeks, and that sense of devastation was prolonged by Allotment’s formidable form. As Celtic charged up the table, Kallum had to kick his one good heel on the sideline. “I hated it. Especially when they’ve went, how many, eight games unbeaten?” The run had, in actuality, stretched to ten matches. “Well then, that just shows how much I’ve missed! Very disappointing.” With his ankle fully healed, Kallum hopes that the disappointment and the drawbacks are behind him. He made his long-awaited return from injury via the dugout, replacing Douglas in Allotment’s 5-2 victory over Thornaby. But the wide man is under no illusions about the challenge he faces to make the right wing position his own. “That’s what’s good about it. You can’t just walk back into the team. It’ll definitely be a challenge,” he insisted, harking back to his previous comments about competition. “But the injury’s gone. I don’t feel over-fit, but I can get the fitness back! I will try and get back in, because I miss it.” His return to fitness will come as a sizeable boost to the squad, as Allotment look to maintain their scintillating form as the season enters its final months. Celtic are currently the form team in Division Two, leading player-manager Paul Stoneman and coach Paul Hogg to believe that a strong top half finish is attainable. If McGlen is representative of the squad, the players’ mentality is firmly in line with that of the management. When asked where Allotment

could finish, Kallum replied: “Top six, definitely. With the run we’re on, and the form we’re in, I think definitely top six.” The winger’s pace, relentless work rate and keen eye for a pass are all useful assets in the Allotment attack - but Kall is yet to contribute in a more direct manner. Since those two goals in a preseason friendly, the grafter has done everything but put the ball in the back of the net. Some attempts have drawn impressive saves from the opposing number one, be it Richard Gordon of Tow Law or Nick Farrell of Thornaby. Other attempts, on the other hand... Kallum knows what’s coming.“The open goal...!” he interjects, laughing. Allotment were three goals to the good against Newcastle Benfield, and McGlen looked odds-on to make it four. He rounded Andrew Grainger at pace - but, with the goal gaping, Kallum smashed the ball off the crossbar. The astonishing miss had Ronny Rosenthal written all over it. Can Kallum break his goalscoring hoodoo in the next two months? “I hope so! I’ve tried enough, haven’t I! I’ve had chances, and I should’ve taken a few. But I will score before the end of the season. That’s a promise. I will score!” Should he fail to do so, a sizeable donation will be forcibly made to the players’ pool. Breaking promises made to the club’s Press Officer is a punishable offence. If Kallum’s current luck is anything to go by, he’ll have his hands in his pockets come the end of April.

SPRING 2013 THREE MILES WEST

THE FRENCH-

In 2011/12, Newcastle United’s newly-a the Premier League. Can a trio of Buru

THE NORTHERN LEAGUE’S OVERSEAS IMPORTS Aristote GuerinLokonga The former Wolves trainee’s potential ability is evident, having had trials with Sunderland and Torquay United. The powerful Congoborn striker is currently topping Sunderland RCA’s goalscoring charts.

Gilberto Chapim Hailing from Angola, Gilberto brings creative impetus to South Shields’ central midfield. The hot prospect has impressed with the Sanddancers since signing from Seaton Delaval last year, picking up September’s player of the month award.

IN the summer of 2011, with their Premier League status firmly reestablished, Newcastle United began phase one of the rebuilding process. Most of the building blocks were imported from across the Channel, courtesy of Francophile Head Scout Graham Carr. The Magpies had raided France before, but not like this. Thirteen French-speaking players have arrived at St. James’ Park in the space of two seasons. And, it would seem, the French connection could be extending westwards to Whitley Park - by way of a slight detour. At the start of November, West Allotment Celtic were gearing up for a tough month of Northern League football. Difficult games against Billingham Town, North Shields and Northallerton Town all lay in store. First, Stoneman’s men would have to tackle Nick Gray’s free-scoring Morpeth Town on a Friday night. Almost 150 fans enjoyed a pulsating 4-4 draw. Amongst the regulars, the visitors and the groundhoppers sat three foreign young men, watching

Ivan Stoyanov The Bulgarian was capped at under-19 level by his home nation whilst playing for Levski Sofia, and spent one month on trial at Newcastle United. Five years on, the pacy full-back-cum-winger has signed for Seaham, having been on loan at the Star from South Shields, and is looking to make an impact on County Durham.

THREE MILES WEST SPRING 2013

Despite a similarly brief cameo, Ibrahim undoubtedly has more ability than Ali Dia (pictured)

attentively and quietly from the stands. As the spectators ambled towards the warm bar area, the trio stayed behind. First-team coach Paul Hogg emerged from the tunnel, handing sheets of paper to each of the men in turn. One month passed, and little was seen or heard from the potential new boys. In that time, thumping wins against Billingham and Tow Law were cancelled out by similarly heavy defeats at home to Shields, Northallerton and Darlington Railway Athletic. The generous hosts would not be quite so hospitable when fellow mid-table team Birtley came to town. Paul Stoneman made two changes to the starting eleven, but the talk of the terrace revolved around the bench. For sitting alongside four Celtic regulars was an obscure player named Ibrahim Ibrahim. In the journeyman world of the Northern League, the unheralded arrival represented a tantalising enigma. With seventy minutes on the clock, and Allotment well ahead, the mystery man was handed his debut, taking to the field in place of David Henderson. “So good they named him twice,” numerous spectators quipped, but the substitute did not live up to the epithet. In those twenty minutes, Ibrahim moved at a canter, comfortable but non-committal. With the ball at his feet and no opponent in sight, the midfielder could have burst into space, carrying the ball from his own half. Instead, he casually knocked the ball behind him to John Pendlebury and jogged up the pitch. “I think he looked off the pace, to be fair,” admitted Stoneman. “I think he struggled a little bit, but it’s purely down to game time.” Hogg stated his belief that he thought Ibrahim was taken aback by the pace of the game. “It’s not five-a-side, this is Northern League football. You get one touch and you play it. You don’t take a touch, then another touch, then play it, as you’ve lost the ball.” Both coaches

-SPEAKING REVOLUTION?

acquired, French-speaking contingent propelled them to a fifth-placed finish in undian-born players have a similar impact at West Allotment Celtic? were reluctant to criticise the new man, insisting that it was unfair to judge a player on one brief showing. A third onlooker offered a simiarly sympathetic evaluation of the midfielder’s performance. The solitary figure looked on from the touchline, wearing a t-shirt and bodywarmer on a bitterly cold December eve. The ever hospitable Jimmy Wilson approached him for a chat. The inappropriately dressed spectator said he was at Whitley Park to watch his cousin none other than Ibrahim Ibrahim. “Do you play football at this level?” asked Celtic’s curious Vice-Chairman. The Newcastle United starlet removed his baseball cap, revealing his trademark high-rise mohican - and, in doing so, his identity. 19-year-old Gaël Bigirimana stood at the back of the Blue Flames bar afterwards, wolfing a sausage sandwich and fidgeting with his phone. He thought Ibrahim “did okay” in his first Northern League game, and reiterated just how cold it was. He also shed a little light on the other two mysterious figures at the Morpeth game; one was his brother, and another was related to him by marriage. “My brother is a good player, a very good player,” he enthused. “He can play anywhere down the right hand side.” What’s more, his sibling had played at a similar level in the past. According to Gaël, his brother would be playing for Allotment once he “got back from his holidays”. Fast forward to late March, and not one of the trio have taken so much as a place on the substitute’s bench. At £25 a game, few of the Allotment first-team can afford a two month vacation. Nevertheless, first-team coach Hogg was cautiously optimistic that the shrinking, disappearing violets would blossom as spring approached. “They’ve been very in and out. I think when the weather has turned, they’ve disappeared. Hopefully in the coming

weeks, we can try and get them back.” The manner in which the potential transfers came about is just as intriguing as the players themselves. Allotment play a stone’s throw away from the Magpies’ training complex, and share a home ground with the reserve side. Was a link-up with Premier League neighbours responsible for the prospective new intake? “Well, I’ve known Terry Mitchell, who was the coach at Gateshead, for numerous years - he actually took me in my early days of coaching. He had a couple of players who had just come into the area, obviously with the lad at Newcastle, and asked us could they come and join training.” The association was not towards the east at Darsley Park, but to the west, at the less glamorous Coach Lane Campus. Mitchell, a former manager at West Allotment, coaches there with Division One side Team Northumbria. On their books is one Yaye Bigirimana, brother of the ex-Coventry hot prospect. And yet, despite Gaël’s pre-Christmas comments, the other Bigi is not on Allotment’s radar. His name is conspicuous by its absence as the new Forest Hall contingent is discussed by the coach. With one player signed, and another seemingly off the market, talk turned to the third - and most exciting - prospect. “Luis is a left-sided, tricky player. He caught the eye, and looked as though he could handle a game. We need to get him here and get him on the pitch before we can judge him.” Unfortunately, Luis is as troublesome to track down as he is to tackle. “He’s been the most difficult one to try and pin down and get a signature from. You can’t lead a horse to water, can you? Well, you can, but you can’t make him drink it.” Should the pair wish to make a similar impact to Cabaye and Ben Arfa, they will have to stake their claims for

places in training. “At the minute, we’re doing well, so it’s hard for new guys to come in and get a sniff,” added the playermanager. “If Ibrahim had been here week in, week out, he might’ve got a little more action on the pitch.” The French-speaking revolution is evidently not as absolute, nor as immediate, as that perpetually occuring down the road. As the season enters its final months, time is running out for Ibrahim and Luis to fulfil their potential on North Tyneside. The Francophones could, in time, become revered cult heroes like Ginola. At present, they remain scarcely seen disappointments, a la Stéphane Guivarc’h - or, perhaps more accurately, David Terrier.

SPRING 2013 THREE MILES WEST

COULD WEST ALLOTMENT CELTIC BECOME NORTH TYNESIDE’S

NEW ENTERTAINERS? TO this day, the moniker of the mid-nineties excites and emboldens the Toon Army faithful. Kevin Keegan spent five years - and approximately 34 million pounds of Sir John Hall’s money - putting together a Newcastle United side capable of challenging for the Premier League title. The eye-catching brand of attacking football on display at St. James’ Park led to the Magpies being dubbed as “The Entertainers”. by the media. Now, another North Tyneside outfit are turning heads in the Second Division of the Northern League. In time, can West Allotment Celtic emulate the heyday of their next door neighbours?

NEWCASTLE UNITED 1995 to 1997

SRNICEK HISLOP PEACOCK

ALBERT BERESFORD

WATSON BARTON

GILLESPIE BEARDSLEY

LEE CLARK

BATTY

FERDINAND

SHEARER

GINOLA

DORMAND REID

LEE

DUMMETT

DUNN

HENDERSON BELL

STONEMAN

LITTLE

McGLEN HUDSON

PENDLEBURY DOUGLAS

AMES BEAL 2012/13 season WEST ALLOTMENT

CELTIC

THREE MILES WEST SPRING 2013

In recent seasons, the fortunes of both clubs have waxed and waned intermittently. During the Toon’s rise to prominence, Allotment surrendered their hold on the Northern Alliance, having dominated the league in 1991 and 1992. As Newcastle’s stock fell under Dalglish, Celtic went the other way, winning five titles from the 1997/98 season onwards. Allotment experienced the highs of consecutive promotions, soaring into the top tier of the Northern League, only to suffer the agony of relegation to their current division in 2011. United had suffered similar ignominy two years previous, but reclaimed their top-flight status at the first time of asking. At present, Alan Pardew and Paul Stoneman could compare notes. Their respective charges have performed below expectations in the first half of the season, but recent form indicates far more potential than their respective league standings would suggest at a glance. On the surface, a comparison between the two sides seems to hold little water. One side stormed towards the top of the Premier League summit, pipped to the post twice by one of the best emerging squads in Europe. Imbued with the Keegan philosophy of outscoring the opponent at all costs, Newcastle playied with attack-minded, free-scoring gusto, accumulating the

second-highest average goal difference over a period of four years. On paper, Allotment’s record does not stack up. Last season - Stoneman’s first as manager - the side scored a healthy 90 goals, but also shipped 72 at the back, resulting in a fairly modest overall difference. The current campaign has gone much the same way, with Celtic bagging ten more goals than they have conceded. But the wind at Whitley Park is changing. Settled and strengthened, the side are playing their best - and most attractive - football. Beaten just once in twelve games, Stona’s men have found the back of the net 34 times, at the cost of just 13 goals. Out on the pitch, Allotment are gradually beginning to resemble some of the exalted Toon players of the Keegan era. Starting between the sticks, both clubs have been spoilt for choice in the goalkeeping department. Back in 1996, every other member of the Toon Army had their favourite ‘keeper, be it the rangy, safe-handed Shaka Hislop, or the slightly more eccentric shot-stopper Pavel Srnicek. In truth, both custodians were worthy of the number one jersey - something reflected in the constant rotation of the Czech and the Trinidadian. The same can be said of Celtic goalies Aiden Ames and Ryan Beal. Though markedly less exotic Tyneside and Suffolk

are hardly renowned holiday hotspots - both are consistent and commanding behind the back four. Neither is willing to play the Lionel Perez role at Blue Flames. At full-back, KK preferred to employ marauding defenders who would contribute to the final phase of play. The Allotment setup also encourages the wide defenders to get forward, often to devastating effect. On the left, Marc Dummett combines his sound defensive work with confident forays into the opponent’s half, whipping metronomic balls into the area. On the right, Stoneman has two different options at his disposal. Should the manager require a no-nonsense, consistent full-back, John Pendlebury can be relied upon to put in a strong shift. If that little bit extra is needed to unlock a tight defence, the versatile Chris Douglas can make headway down the flank, and, much like former Entertainer Warren Barton, can cross the ball onto a 50p piece. Even Keegan’s centre-halves were not adverse to demonstrating their technical abilities. Most Toon fans will fondly recall Philippe Albert’s delightful lob over the stranded Schmeichel in Newcastle’s 5-0 win over arch-rivals Manchester United. Although twenty yard curlers and Cruyff turns are beyond Allotment’s stoppers, both Stoneman and Stephen Little are as comfortable in possession as they are in the sliding challenge. Both centre-halves can dictate the pace of the game from the back, should their opponents be foolish enough to give them the space and the opportunity. The player-manager in particular, a former professional with Blackpool and Halifax Town, is unbeatable in the air, and, like his Belgian counterpart, can often be found in the opposite box at set-pieces. What the pair lack in mullets, they make up for in ability. The Magpies were always well stocked in the middle of the park, with tenacious tackler David Batty counterbalancing the attacking instincts of Rob Lee or Lee Clark.

Both midfielders brought creative impetus to the side, but only one could be played at any given time, ultimately leading to the depature of Wallsend-born Clark. At Allotment, both of these players would have been accommodated in the customary 4-4-1-1 formation. David Henderson, a fantastic and skilful passer of the ball, often kickstarts flowing moves from the centre, whilst Sean Reid - a centre-forward at the start of the season - is given free license to burst forward from behind the lone striker. All the while, captain Ian Dunn sits behind the passers and in front of the tacklers, breaking up play and protecting the back four. If unavailable, Marc Allen - described as “Mr. David Batty” by coach Paul Hogg - can perform a similar task to good effect. The roles are transient, with Reid often dropping deeper into midfield when required, or kicking on if the need for a goal is pressing, but that vital balance between attack and defence is always apparent, just as it was throughout the mid-nineties. Unlike the full-back positions, those placed on the wing did not follow uniformly similar orders. Instead, Keegan played to his players’ strengths. Keith Gillespie was adept at getting to the byline and whipping in dangerous crosses. His left-sided counterpart, the flamboyant David Ginola, preferred to mix it up a little, beating the man on the inside or out wide with clever footwork and masterful trickery. Although lop-sided on paper, the system worked. Different though they were in their approach, Gillespie and Ginola laid on their fair share of key assists. The same philosophy applies to the Northern League Division Two side. Kallum McGlen and Tony Lancaster, nippy wide men with crossing ability to boot, will always look to get wide and ping the ball into the box. The other flank is a different matter. Dean Lee is, much like the revered Frenchman, a mercurial presence in the side. The former Shields winger rarely looks

for the cross, darting inside on his left foot and baffling the full-back with his idiosyncratic runs. The approach has yielded 21 goals at the time of writing - just one goal shy of Ginola’s entire tally during his stay in England. Not bad for a left winger. Up front, admittedly, there is no Shearer or Ferdinand, but there is a goal-getter - which, on a base level, is what every attractive team needs. David Dormand has found the net 20 times this season, at a rate of 1.25 goals per game - not far from big Al’s average of 1.24 for the 1996/97 season. A Shearer of sorts, then, but there is a Peter Beardsley in kind. Army solider Liam Hudson works astonishingly hard for the side, whether he is deployed as a striker or a right midfielder, and his all-action performances have earned him the kind of praise that was once bestowed upon one of Newcastle’s local heroes. The comparisons are tenuous, and there are plenty of other non-league sides on Tyneside that could lay claim to the “Entertainers” mantle; North Shields and Whitley Bay to name but two. But there are tangible similarities between the Toon of old and the Celtic of present. Allotment has no reserve team (yet), their players run out to the tune of Mark Knopfler’s ‘Going Home’, and, most importantly, they are producing the kind of football that excites the committee and entertains the fans. Stoneman, Wilf and Hoggy will love it “LOVE IT” - if their side can break into the top six before the end of April.

SPRING 2013 THREE MILES WEST

JUSTOnside PICTURES, JAPES AND SPURIOUS STORIES FROM THE ALLOTMENT GRAPEVINE

ADIOS TO EL DEANO

Lee snapped up by Barca for nominal fee West Allotment winger Dean Lee has put pen to paper on a six-year deal with FC Barcelona, having impressed in a secretly arranged trial last month. Celtic’s top scorer was ostensibly in the Catalan region as part of a birthday present from his girlfriend, but turned out for the B team in a behind-closeddoors friendly on Saturday night. The wide man put four goals past visiting side Norton & Stockton Ancients, convincing Jordi Roura to tie down the 29-year-old on a long-term contract. The Barca assistant was delighted to get his man, gushing: “We’ve watched Dean’s exploits in the Northern League this season, and believe that he can supplant Iniesta in our attacking three. He’s much better value than Gareth Bale.” Allotment will use the fee - reportedly in the region of £10,000 - to build a new Command Centre, and bring Keith Gillespie back to North Tyneside with the spare change.

Good sir, you must be inclined to admit that was a ruddy poor challenge on my person.

“

Desist from speaking in such uncouth terms, squire, or I shall book you for dissent.

The Gentleman’s Game

QUOTE unquote

”

You’d better put my picture in this issue, otherwise I’ll smash your camera...and break your jaw!

Stephen LITTLE

West Allotment Social Club 31st January 2013

Spot the Celtic Superstars! Take a look at this vintage Allotment photograph. Can you name...

A. The central “club mascot” and current Allotment player?

B. The current Celtic committee member?

THREE MILES WEST SPRING 2013

C. The year this snap was taken?

THREE MILES WEST

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Player-manager West Allotment Celtic F.C.