[New] Lady ReviewWhistledown’s of Friday Night’s Sleepover:

4/10

Miss Frizzle, LeVar Burton, & Bill Nye

BY SOPHIA WHELAN

On the Monday of this week, some very promising invitations were delivered to a select lucky few girls from Mrs. Jackson’s class. As the week continued, this was anticipated to be the highlight of the fourth-grade season. Sadly, this event left much to be desired.

Upon arrival, the over-exuberant family dog jumped on Miss Alexis’s esteemed guests, sending a few of the young ladies into a frenzy and marking an undignified beginning to the evening. The snacks were notably lackluster, consisting only of apple slices forsaking even a morsel of peanut butter (to accommodate Maddie’s peanut allergy). The promised pizza was also notably underwhelming, delivered an hour late and a bit cooler than desired. Any other fun was hampered by Mrs. Johnson, who insisted on phones being collected in a basket and lights out by 10 p.m.

Perhaps the least disappointing aspect of the dreary festivities was the ample fodder for Monday morning gossip. Some of the guests behaved badly indeed. Slyly circumventing Mrs. Johnson’s insistence on a PG-rated movie, Alexis convinced her mother that “Pitch Perfect” was simply a movie about the trials and tribulations of being a part of a traveling gospel choir. Based on my observations at this event, it seems that Jillian was responsible for leaving the secret admirer note found in Josh’s locker on Thursday. A few sips of 2-liter Sprite smuggled in by Jillian and this lady’s become very looselipped indeed.

A

Letter of

appreciation to the public school-induced parasocial relationship

BY KAMI KENDALL

We all got excited in class when it was time to wheel in the TV or when YouTube appeared on the Smartboard. Lights were dimmed, and the blinds were closed, the classroom’s attention gladly shifted to the front, and that one annoying kid shushed everybody. Some of us laid on our folded arms like pillows while others got pencils to doodle or pass notes, but we still couldn’t resist the fascination that these screen teachers elicited. A moment’s respite from interacting and verbalizing with our teachers.

We now know that the teacher was likely hungover or severely underpaid by the school. Regardless, our favorite TV teachers were always at the ready: “Reading Rainbow,” “The Magic School Bus,” “Schoolhouse Rock!,” “Bill Nye the Science Guy,” “BrainPOP,” “Animaniacs.”

Some of these parasocial relationships grew stronger than those with the inattentive teachers who tuned them onto the TV.

No matter how hard our heroes fall, from the straight-washing of Miss Frizzle and the whitewashing of her students to the recent betrayal of Bill Nye as a Coca-Cola ambassador, they will always hold a special place in our hearts. Hey, maybe they’re the reason why I still have an a nity for bite-sized video lessons that transformed into Khan Academy and John Green’s Crash Course videos in high school.

Maybe the oversaturation of screens cancels out the need for these TV educators today, but one can hope that kids will somehow still find a moment’s respite during the school day as we did.

The Series of Unfortunate Events that Led Me to This Book

I read this book and now I understand why adults are so sad all the time

BY SRIHITA RAJU

The first unfortunate domino that led me to this book was a storm. My mom called my teacher about 10 minutes before the day ended to let her know that she wouldn’t be able to pick me up for another couple of hours because her car skidded while she was driving and she hit a tree. This led me to head down to the library once all my friends went home, grabbing the first book I could find and sitting down in a beanbag chair right by the big window where I could watch the storm outside.

This was the most stressed I’ve ever been in my short life. The very first thing that happens in the entire book is that these three siblings, the Baudelaires, find out from a complete stranger that their parents have died in a fire that destroyed their entire home. From there, they are dropped o to live with their evil distant cousin, Count Olaf. And he is worse than all the teachers at this school combined. He makes them clean and cook everything and calls them names, all while talking about how he is waiting to steal all their money. Things just keep getting worse and worse for them! Why would someone write this book and then let it be available to children? Despite how stressed I was the whole time, the writing was funny, and the pictures were fun. They felt like they belonged in a twisted fairytale. I’m excited about the next book; it appears it will be a lot happier and more fun.