CAMPUS NEWS
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Living Legacy
Carries on Through Waldorf BY ARLENE MURRAY | PHOTOS BY CRAIG ADAMS
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Gold Star, is usually known to young students as a symbol of achievement, however, in my case, a Gold Star has a very different meaning. From a military standpoint, a Gold Star is a surviving spouse who lost their better half due to a military injury and/or service-connected conditions ending in death, those circumstances are confirmed by the Department of Veteran Affairs. Unfortunately, I am considered a two-time Gold Star surviving spouse. In 1989, at the age of thirty-one years old, I became a widow to an active-duty soldier who served in the United States Army. After his death, I navigated everyday life by dating and life carried on. After many years, in 1997, I was reunited with my high-school sweetheart, Dennis, who was a proud, retired Marine. We eventually got married and started a new life. I waited twenty-six years to remarry after we met again, only to have
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him pass away in 2018, from service-connected issues. My Cinderella-style love story came to an abrupt and unexpected end. I had taken stock in myself as being a dutiful military wife and learned to adapt and adjust with changes from the military. I always knew that military service may cause death, however in both marriages, it was not attributed to combat. Both deaths were unforeseen. My life felt like a roller-coaster ride. It was filled with up and down emotions, questions, changes, and life stressors. I also had financial concerns and wondered what do I do now? Suddenly, the purpose I believed to be true for a happy long life along with the comfort of financial security had ended. I found myself at a standstill sitting in the car of the roller-coaster with nowhere to go. I felt empty inside. My days were filled with distressful thoughts of where do I go now, and
how do I begin? The revelation of needing a job or career came on rapidly. I now had to be self-sufficient for the first time in my life and the only course of action to get there, was going back to college. As a mother, I instilled the importance of education for a successful future in my children along with the importance of having a sense of direction, but I lacked these tools myself. I instructed my children to develop a plan because nothing comes to us without putting in effort and no one can take away what we learn in life. For me personally, it was about having a tenacious spirit to never give up in the face of unexpected hardships and also being determined to succeed. The military indoctrination of adapting and adjusting to new circumstances was beginning to take place. After losing both spouses this was my personal test to show my children what I had taught them.
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