General fiction novel
LOVE STRADDLE
by
MARTIN KNOX
197,000 words Copyright M Knox 2013
Martin P Knox Unit 1, Al'Cove 21 Orleigh Street West End Brisbane Qld 4101 07 3255 3710 0411 041 209 mpknox46@aapt.net.au
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Contents PART 1: LOVE EXPOSED (1966) ................................................................... CHAPTER 1 ASK NO QUESTIONS ........................................................ CHAPTER 2 LIE DETECTOR .............................................................. CHAPTER 3 VICKI ............................................................................ PART 2: FRESHER LOVE (1946 -1965) .................................................... CHAPTER 4 ANIMAL LOVE ............................................................... CHAPTER 5 GREAT EXPECTATIONS ................................................. CHAPTER 6
PRUDISH ONSET ..........................................................
CHAPTER 7
MARATHON MAN .......................................................
CHAPTER 8
ROMANTIC INTENT .....................................................
CHAPTER 9
BREAKING FREE ...........................................................
CHAPTER 10
PEER CONTROL..........................................................
PART 3: SECOND YEAR SPREAD (1965-1966) ......................................... CHAPTER 11
LOVE PAIR .................................................................
CHAPTER 12
BULLY BOY ................................................................
CHAPTER 13
SIBLING VISIT ............................................................
CHAPTER 14 CINDERELLA'S RENEGE ............................................... CHAPTER 15
CLASS DIFFERENCE ....................................................
CHAPTER 16
CHANGING CLASS .....................................................
CHAPTER 17
VIRTUOUS PHILANDERER ..........................................
CHAPTER 18
LOGICAL DESIGN ......................................................
CHAPTER 19
TOWN GIRL ...............................................................
CHAPTER 20
SHE WON'T SEE ME ...................................................
CHAPTER 21
PROTOSEX ................................................................
PART 4: THIRD YEAR STRADDLE (1966) ................................................. CHAPTER 22
DAMNED LIES ............................................................
CHAPTER 23
CHEAT'S COME-UPPENCE .........................................
CHAPTER 24
CONDITIONAL TRUST ................................................
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CHAPTER 25
BOWER BIRD .............................................................
CHAPTER 26
KNOCKBACK .............................................................
CHAPTER 27
COMPROMISE ...........................................................
CHAPTER 28
BURADAN'S ASS .......................................................
CHAPTER 29
COMMODITY LOVE ...................................................
CHAPTER 30
INVULNERABLE ........................................................
CHAPTER 31
LOVE STRADDLE ........................................................
PART 5: INSIDER TRADING (1967) ......................................................... CHAPTER 32
SHORT FLING ............................................................
CHAPTER 33
RETALIATION .............................................................
CHAPTER 34
BOGGED DOWN .......................................................
CHAPTER 35
FINAL EXAMS ...........................................................
CHAPTER 36 MAKING THE GRADE ..................................................... CHAPTER 37
BEST MAN .................................................................
CHAPTER 38
COMING OF AGE .......................................................
PART 6: LEG-BREAK (1967-1968) ........................................................... CHAPTER 39
TRIAL BY CONSCIENCE ...............................................
CHAPTER 40
CLIFFHANGER ...........................................................
CHAPTER 41
CELIBATE REACTION ..................................................
PART 7 MARGIN CALL (1968) ................................................................ CHAPTER 42
RUTTED RENEWAL ....................................................
CHAPTER 43 CHASED DESCENT ...................................................... CHAPTER 44
COLOUR CLASH ........................................................
PART 8: SPREADING (1969-1972) .......................................................... CHAPTER 45 WILD SOWING ........................................................... CHAPTER 46
HIPPY LOVE ...............................................................
CHAPTER 47
COMMUNES .............................................................
CHAPTER 48
INTENTIONS ............................................................
CHAPTER 49
POLYGNY ..............................................................
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CHAPTER 50
LOVE IN RUINS .........................................................
CHAPTER 51
SAILING CREWS .........................................................
CHAPTER 52
SLAM DUNK .............................................................
CHAPTER 53
AGAPEMONE LEADERSHIP.........................................
CHAPTER 54 ATTRACTING FOLLOWERS ........................................... CHAPTER 55 MATE TEST ................................................................... CHAPTER 56
RECRUITER'S ITCH ....................................................
CHAPTER 57
DIRE STRAITS ...........................................................
CHAPTER 58
UNHITCHED..............................................................
PART 9 TAKING DELIVERY (1973-1975) ................................................. CHAPTER 59 REBOUND DECEPTION................................................ CHAPTER 60
LIBERATION LOSER ...................................................
CHAPTER 61
DILEMMA .................................................................
CHAPTER 62
BIPOLAR EXPEDITION NORTH ....................................
CHAPTER 63
TIME OUT..................................................................
CHAPTER 64
BIPOLAR EXPEDITION SOUTH ...................................
CHAPTER 65
DECLINING BLAME ...................................................
PART 10: NARROWING GAINS (1976-2002) ........................................... CHAPTER 66
PUSHES AND PULLS ..................................................
CHAPTER 67
FERTILITY LIMITED ...................................................
CHAPTER 68
RELOCATION REFUSAL .............................................
CHAPTER 69
EXPERIENCING OFFSPRING .......................................
CHAPTER 70
REFLECTING SUCCESS .............................................
CHAPTER 71
DEEP END ................................................................
CHAPTER 72
MODEL DISMISSAL ...................................................
CHAPTER 73
HUNGER TREK ...........................................................
CHAPTER 74 EQUAL PAY................................................................. CHAPTER 75 CHAPTER 76
DRINKER DECIDES..................................................... IMPASSIONATE REFUSAL ...............................
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CHAPTER 77
JEALOUSY PROVOKED ...............................................
CHAPTER 78
CHIEF OILMAN ..........................................................
CHAPTER 79
INEFFICIENT RECOVERY ............................................
CHAPTER 80
YES PRIME MINISTER ................................................
CHAPTER 81 SNOWMAN COMETH ................................................. CHAPTER 82
WORK HABIT ............................................................
CHAPTER 83
TECHNOLOGY COMPLAINT ........................................
CHAPTER 84 YACHT HOPPER ........................................................... CHAPTER 85 ULTIMATE TRUST ....................................................... CHAPTER 86
LOYAL REFLEX...........................................................
PART 11 FORCE MAJEURE (2003-2004) ................................................. CHAPTER 87
RISKY INVESTMENT ...................................................
CHAPTER 88
PRODIGAL RETURNS ................................................
CHAPTER 89
RISK EXPORTED .......................................................
CHAPTER 90
LOYALTY SPLIT ...........................................................
CHAPTER 91
SPAGHETTI LAUNCH ................................................
CHAPTER 92
THRONE DISCOVERY .................................................
CHAPTER93 IMPORTUNITY ............................................................... PART 12 FINAL JIBE (2005) .................................................................... CHAPTER 94
COMPANY RETREAT .................................................
CHAPTER 95
PREMONITION ..........................................................
CHAPTER 96
HEADING OUT ...........................................................
CHAPTER 97
RECUPERATION ........................................................
CHAPTER 98 SEPARATE INTERSECTION ........................................... PART 13 LEG MEND (2006) ................................................................... CHAPTER 99
DEVOLUTION ............................................................
CHAPTER 100
SELF-INDULGENCE ...................................................
CHAPTER 101
WHISTLEBLOWER ....................................................
CHAPTER 102
REGENERATIVE AFFAIR ............................................
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CHAPTER 103
MATING FLIGHT ......................................................
PART 14 UNEQUALLED DEMAND (2007) ............................................... CHAPTER 104
GAZUMPED .............................................................
CHAPTER 105
RESOLUTION ..........................................................
BIBLIOGRAPHY ............................................................................ Austen, Jane. Pride and Prejudice. .................................................... Camus, Albert. The Plague. .............................................................. Dawkins, Richard. The Selfish Gene. ................................................ Follett, Ken. Pillars of the Earth. ....................................................... Greer , Germaine. The Female Eunuch. ............................................ Hobbes, Thomas. .............................................................................. Lacan, Jacques. Interview. Published in L'Express, May 1957. .......... Lawrence, DH. Lady Chatterley’s Lover. .......................................... Persig, Robert. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. ............. Proust, M. Anna Karenina................................................................. Segrave, Kerry. Lie Detectors: A Social History. McFarland, 2004. .. Shaw, George Bernard, Pygmalion. .................................................. Wilson, EO. Sociobiology ................................................................ Huxley, A. Island. ............................................................................. Lacan, Jacques Interview Published in L'Express in May 1957..........
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PROLOGUE
It is July 2006. As we climb away from Calgary, the seat belt indicator gongs. I loosen the strap and recline in my business class seat. I have this mental skill of being comfortable and enjoying air flights. I imagine that I am a pupating insect, like a silkworm caterpillar. I have woven a cocoon around me, taking up all the space I am allowed. I am in suspended animation. I have found out all the controls and resources at my disposal and how to use them. Fully reclining seats, footrests, air blowers, lights, video, audio, attendant summonsing: I know them all and make myself comfortable. I am a glass half-full person. Rather than being confined in a space that limits me and denies comfort, my capsule is a perfect size for comfort, with controls that empower me to metamorphose and emerge ready for different conditions. The flight to London will take long enough for me to reflect on past events that have caused this journey and the natural laws of behaviour that I have recently discovered. If I had known them before, this journey would not be necessary, or I would have made it many years ago. Now I will tell you my story – at least, my part in events – including my own and other people’s emotions, that engineers like me normally ignore. But emotions are important, as I have lately discovered.
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PART 1: LOVE EXPOSED (1966) In which Vicki tricks me into revealing my affections. CHAPTER 1
ASK NO QUESTIONS
Things had started going wrong at Boston, USA in the Summer of '66. The only way seemed up for Vicki and me, as I waited to see her during the summer vacation, at the end of our second year at Liverpool uni, forty-one years ago, when I was an engineering student.
I sit on the edge of a chair and pretend to look at a brochure about this Department of Applied Psychology at New England University, Boston, USA. Maybe the girls' vacation jobs here fell through, although Vicki had written saying they are expecting us at this time. Tom looks archly down his hooked nose, as he thrusts and retracts his jaw to the reggae rhythm from his portable LP player. The rest of his face is Nordic, with white skin, high cheekbones and a blonde forelock spilling over his forehead. He wears a colourful tropical beach shirt with a cravat at his throat. Below his long body, his legs are short and his jeans are turned up at the bottoms. He gyrates jerkily around the reception room. When the vinyl record finishes, he sits down. "Where is your woman, man?" he asks me in his high voice and singsong Jamaican accent. "Vicki wrote that she would be here, " I reply patiently. People expect that my serious, unemotional nature and preoccupation with independence and efficiency to have a Saxon or Teutonic face, rectangular in shape with a square hairline. . Mine haves the heart shape, widow's peak hairline, high overhanging brow and shaven dark beard of the Celts. My distant ancestors may have retreated to mountainous areas of Wales or Cornwall or Scotland, where they were overlooked or out of reach of successive waves of Roman, Saxon, Viking, Dane and Norman military or cultural invaders. I look okay and girls don't usually keep me waiting. Now, even my idol, Dr Spock, would be growing impatient. Just then the two girls breeze in wearing white lab coats, smiling broadly. "Selwyn!" Vicki says. "It's great to see you." "Hello, Vicki," I say. "It's terrific to see you. I didn't know you are selling ice creams."
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We hug. Her clean smell and the firmness of her body are reassuring. Tom hugs petite Angela, only slightly smaller. The two are seeing each other, but are not yet an item. We hoist our packs and Vicki leads us along a corridor. We pass a reception area with a sign, “Clinical Psychology”, above the desk. "I hope we are not getting under your feet," I say."Your research should have priority. We can come back later." "Not at all. Actually, I think you may be able to help us," she says in her plummy Oxford voice. "We would appreciate your help with some tests we are doing." We pass a door labelled “Educational and School Psychology”, and continue along the corridor. "Okay. Sounds interesting," I agree automatically. "What tests?" "Changing your behaviour." "Who is doing the changing?" "We are." "Are they changes for the better?" "Yes, like when you learn a new skill from a teacher, your behaviour changes." "They sometimes use the cane to change behaviour in schools, "says Tom. "They force people to—" "No. That used to be the way. Social scientists used to explain the way people behave as conditioning by the environment. Did you hear on the news about unethical experiments being conducted by 'behaviourists'?" "Yeah, I heard about Skinner," I say. "He starves pigeons down to 60% of their bodyweight. Then he puts each pigeon into a small box, just big enough to turn around in." We arrive at a lift. There are seven floors and it is at the top. Vicki calls it and it starts coming slowly. I continue, "Skinner had these letters, ‘F.O.O.D.’, written on buttons inside a box. When the bird pecks the buttons in the correct order, a food pellet is released. The pellet machine rewards progress. Skinner goes home for the weekend. When he comes in on Monday, some pigeons have learned to peck the sequence, FOOD." "Some would be feet up," Tom says. "That is cruel, man." "It is cruel, I agree," Vicki says. "Um, do we want a world ruled by behaviourism?" As always, Vicki's serious talk is jerky, punctuated with ums and ohs. I know her hesitancy is neither lack of ideas nor lack of vocabulary. It signals something like “Pay attention. My message may not be what you predicted.”
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"Behaviourism is what most of us do now, " I reply. "We change people by Skinner-ing them, or by making others do it for us." "Ah, yes, I agree. We do, Selwyn." "Is there a problem with that, Vicki?" "It treats individuals like blocks of wood. An, um, authority controls, groups people and pushes them into any position it wants. It does not allow them any say, or allow for individual differences." The lift arrives. We all get in, with several others, and the lift starts upwards. "Is a behaviourist a fascist, then?" Tom asks. "They could be," Vicki says. "Fascism conditions the masses to want nationalism." "Rule Britannia, marmalade and jam—” Tom sings to a reggae beat. We stop at the first floor, where there is a sign, “Industrial and Organisational Psychology”. Two people in white lab coats get out. They have been silent in the corners of the lift. Then we continue upwards. "Were they observing us?" I ask, putting on a furtive face. The girls laugh. "Possibly," says Vicki. "Observation by anonymous strangers makes people work harder. It is a different way of controlling people and individualised. So it isn't fascist." "What if there is no control?" asks Tom. "Voluntary behaviour can be self-controlled," I say. "People change their behaviour when they change their minds—" "Thank you, Selwyn," Vicki interrupts me. "When a human voluntarily changes their mind, it is called cognition." "Like starting a car?" asks Tom. "Hmm, a little," says Vicki. "How do you know they have changed?” Tom queries. "You can't observe whether a person's mind is working." "From their behaviour," Vicki replies. "When people change their behaviour by cognition, we say they have learnt," I add, recalling Vicki's textbook. "This may be by imitation, insight, problem-solving, intelligence or conscious thought. When these occur, it is inferred that there has been a change in the mind. They can—" "Yes, Selwyn," Vicki says. "You are correct again. There are any many learning methods we use to change minds – for example, in schools." "Fear can change minds, too, can't it?" Tom asks.
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We get off at “Forensic and Legal Psychology”. We walk along a corridor passing doors inscribed “Witness Memory Research” and another labelled “Trial Consulting”. "Fear can condition people ; it is behaviourist. Cognitive persuasion is considered more humane, because people can make up their own minds," Vicki tells us. "When humans see the letters, F.O.O.D., it may associate with hunger but it can also associate with dieting, health, blood testing, hygiene and other things. We are looking into what meanings people, um, take from certain words." "Out with behaviourism and in with cognition?" "Correct." "We begin by finding out what an individual knows, their, um, cognitive processes by, questioning their attitudes and preferences." We come to a door labelled “Interrogation and Confessions Research Unit”. We go in, take off our packs and sit in a small reception area. We can see a passage leading away with rooms on both sides. Tom rubs his back against his chair. He has acne from his waist to his neck and it causes itching. "I see. You are researching the questioning of criminals! How interesting," I say, "but the methods used are questionable.". "Coffee? Tea?" Angela asks. "Or me?" Tom prompts. "Me not available. Sorry, Tom." "Me want Vicki," I say with a goofy laugh. "Me not stupid. Me know what Selwyn want Vicki for," Vicki says. "That's not fair," I say. "I imagine you are alluding to coitus. I had verbal intercourse in mind." "That's what I was worried about," Vicki says quickly and we all laugh. They are used to my bluntness now. With me, they always know where they stand and they like it. When I first met Vicki, I had thought the hesitations in her speech marked indecision, giving her time to think. But I realize now that Vicki's ideas are carefully tended and growing integrally with self-confidence, so that her response to any incident is razorsharp. Her hesitations seek attention to profundities. She seems as neat, stylish and understated on the inside as she is on the outside. When I am with her I am self-conscious and clumsy. My understanding seems shallow and my opinions seem facile. We order our drinks and Angela goes to get them. "So you are investigating interrogation," I say. Love Straddle by Martin Knox
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"Yes. We are trying to find out how people respond when questioned," says Vicki. "Questioned about what?" Tom asks. "Criminal activities," Vicki says. "How do you know that they have been doing criminal activities?" I ask. "We infer it from their behaviour." "Hmm. I'm going to be on my best behaviour," Tom says. "We observe involuntary behaviour," says Vicki. "For example, when asked about a crime you may sweat." "Could sweating cause a crime ?" I ask. "For example, if you drip on to an electr—" "Are you going to use electricity?" Tom is anxious. "Yes, but only to measure your behaviour," she replies. "Not to cause it." "Like with a stop watch that has a battery ?" Tom asks, suspiciously. "No. When you think about something – like your favourite food – we use electricity to measure your feelings. If you feel anxious and sweat, your skin's conductivity may increase." "My favourite food is ackee with saltfish," says Tom."Just thinking of it makes me feel hungry, man." "A remarkable result," I say. I look around to see if they like my sarcasm, as I have been practising. "Yes, Selwyn, remarkable," says Vicki. "If his mother in Jamaica makes his ackee with saltfish, he might have answered he felt sad, because he misses her." "Isn't that the same as saying that he is sad because he misses his mother's ackee with saltfish?" I ask. "No. They are two different feelings. He might miss his mother and feel anxious, while not being hungry at all." "Tom is always hungry," I say. "Tom, do you miss your mother?" asks Vicki. "No. Only when I'm hungry," he answers. He gives me a tiny wink. "Then I feel anxious. But I only sweat if it is a hot day." "There," says Vicki in exasperation. "You see, he is only capable of one feeling: hunger. It is the foundation for all his behaviour, like Pavlov's dogs' salivation." "The way to an engineer's heart—" "That'd be right!" Vicki says. "Pavlov could have used engineering students instead of dogs!" "Hmm. He would have rung a bell when he fed them and observed how they drooled even if there was no food." Love Straddle by Martin Knox
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"They would also salivate if the observer was a girl," Tom adds."That would bugger it up!" Angela brings our hot drinks. We sip them. "Thanks, Angela," I say. "I was fresh out of saliva." "Engineers have one-track minds," laughs Vicki. "Not our fault," I say. "It is endemic to our profession. Engineering has traditionally been a masculine pursuit, having iconic technologies that mimic sexual intercourse, such as trains and tunnels and reciprocating motion. Some technologies have been granted female status, such as ships, which are always referred to affectionately by the feminine pronouns, “she” and “her”. Consequently, sex is never far from engineer's minds, as indicated by the frequency of sexual innuendo in engineering communication. For example, uncertain situations are—" . "Thank you, Selwyn. We needed that," Vicki interrupts me. I am not sure why she cut me off. I do not feel good about that. "Anyway, "Vicki continues, "if Tom has strong feelings and anxiety triggered by thinking about his favourite food, he may perspire more and we can see the change in electricity flow between two points on his skin. Let's go and test some other associations," she says, getting up. She leads the way to a laboratory where she introduces us to her supervisor, a large man, Tony, with a shock of unruly hair. He shows us into a soundproof room with a chair like a dentist's. To one side there is a control room. "Welcome to the Lie Detection Laboratory," Tony says. "Today Vicki and Angela have asked me to demonstrate a simple test." "Did you say 'lie detection'?" I ask, puzzled. He nods. I turn to Vicki. "Do you think I tell lies?" She shakes her head. "No, Selwyn. We all tell small ones from time to time." I do not think I do. I regard lying as a very low behaviour. Lying is incompatible with science, which requires scrupulous honesty. In my home, honesty is the greatest virtue, rated higher even than Ayn Rand's other six: rationality, productiveness, pride, independence, integrity and justice. I have them on a list beside my bed at home. We listen as Tony explains the test. I see a side of Vicki that I have not seen before: the serious student. She is listening to Tony intently, with an occasional nod or shadow of a frown. She senses me watching her and turns, giving me a big smile. My heart melts. What we have between us is unique. I want her, with every fibre of my being.
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The psychologist continues, "The test you will do today is informal, for research purposes only and there is no stigma attached. "We are only going to look for changes in your behaviour shown by what you say in response to a stimulus or question. Our lie detector measures physiological changes from which psychological causes can be inferred. "For example, we will measure your responses by word association. A suspect in a crime may hesitate and become anxious before they reply to a word, for example, ‘gun’, that could connect them with the crime. Their anxiety or fear triggers adrenalin release, their heart beats faster and they sweat more, which the electrocardiogram can measure. The sweat moistens the skin and the current flow between two electrodes touching the skin increases. A pen writing on a rotating chart is given a jiggle by the current flow. It is alongside other measurements, such as pulse rate, blood pressure, respiration rate and muscular reflexes, which also jiggle. The chart with all these traces is called a polygraph. The bigger the lie, the bigger the jiggles. "Today we will only have a brief informal test to show how a lie detector works," he says. "Vicki and Angela are investigating techniques for accessing subjects' true beliefs, rather than when their response is merely to get them off the hook." "It sounds like you are developing a method to interrogate Soviet spies!" Tom says. "No comment," the psychologist is curt. I turn to Vicki. "I don't get it. I never lie to you!" She laughs. "No, I know that, Selwyn. We are comparing people's true feelings with what they actually say." "What if I say I want one thing but choose something else? Would that be lying?" Vicki looks at me and smiles, as if she knows something that I do not. "It depends on the situation. It's just a bit of fun," she says. "No big deal. It could help you to understand any difficulties you may be having." "Am I having difficulties, Vicki?" I say. I think she is my major difficulty. She has been eluding a steady relationship with me all term, despite a promising start. "I don't know," she shrugs, smiling. "You seem to me to be doing all right for yourself," she pauses. "I hear you did well in second year. Congratulations on your exams." "Thanks. I usually top the class. However, I didn't get everything I wanted last semester," I look at her meaningfully. "Could you have wanted too much?" she replies seriously.
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She could mean I had been too impatient to have sex with her. I wonder how much she knows about me and Barbara. I haven't tried to hide our relationship from her. Neither have I mentioned it to her. Suddenly I realize I had agreed to go on a real lie detector. This is no joke. Should I feel threatened? No. I have no secrets from Vicki. "Are you willing to be tested?" Tony asks. "Perhaps you have some questions?" "Can we interrogate ourselves, then?" joked Tom. No-one laughed. I have plenty of questions. His explanation has made me uneasy. I have a bad taste in my mouth, as though they regard me as a suspect who refuses to confess. It is an insult. I expect to be treated with the respect due to me as a truthful person. The premise of the test is that either I am a congenital liar or that I am concealing something of import. It is a shameful suggestion. What am I being accused of? What do they want to find out? Is my honesty in doubt? I have always dealt with Vicki openly. Now I want to show her I have nothing to hide and trust her. But Tom is not so easily persuaded. For once he looks defensive. "My life is private. I think I'll give it a miss." The psychologist is disappointed. "I'm sorry to hear that, Tom. What about you, Selwyn?" I ask myself, “What is Tom up to, that he won't answer a few questions? Surely it is not merely his routine caution? It's not like him to hold back like this.� I cannot refuse to take the test, as this would admit to Vicki that I have something to hide. Putting me on a lie detector is a fussy way of asking questions that she could ask me politely. I do not have any secrets I am ashamed of. They have said it is just a bit of fun, and I believe them. "I'll give it a go," I say. "My life is an open book." "What kind of book?" asks Tom. "Engineering?" "Truths," I say. "We'll soon see," says Vicki ominously.
I end each chapter with a Rule that I have learnt by reflecting on my experiences. I hope it will help the reader avoid some of the difficulties I have encountered in my life.
Rule 1: Men limit lying to the speaking of untruths, whereas women include men's insincerity and withholding of truths.
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