Washingtonblade.com, Volume 50, Issue 6, February 8, 2019 by Washington Blade

SEN.LINDSEY GRAHAMDIDN’T QUITE MAKE THE CUT, PAGE 14 SEE WHO DID, PAGE 31

F EBRUA RY 08, 2019 • VOLUME 50 • I S S UE 06 • WA S HI NGTON B LAD E.CO M

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VOLUME 50 ISSUE 06 ADDRESS

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Looking back:

Health

50 years of the Blade

Cannabis Culture

Va. LGBT lawmakers call for

Viewpoint

Northam’s resignation

Most Eligible Singles

D.C. sees alarming increase in

Arts & Culture

anti-LGBT hate crimes in 2018

Queery: Jill Stokes

Trump’s SOTU speech includes

Bombalicious launches new

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Sen. Lindsey Graham has faced rumors about his sexual orientation, renewing the old debate over outing. PAGE 14

06 08 10

audience of trans service

members

Undies, beneﬁts, laughs and more

Is it homophobic to speculate

‘Girlfriend’, ‘The Wiz’ top Helen

about a politician’s sexuality? 16

Buttigieg makes pitch to LGBT

Hayes Award noms 52

voters in 2020 bid 18 20

Hold on tight, we’ll muddle through...

Babs Siperstein, pioneering trans

One step forward, one step back

activist, dies at 76

Jumping the gun

Migrants ﬁnd refuge at

Pride Reveal

lesbian-run shelter in Mexico

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Relationship advice from 1989 The Blade continues its 50th anniversary series looking back through our archives with sage advice from longterm couples in a column published in the Feb. 10, 1989 issue. The couples in this article suggest relationship secrets including truthfulness between partners, nurturing friendship, giving each other the freedom to grow and change, sharing dreams and learning good communication skills. Timeless advice as we celebrate Valentine’s Day, 30 years later.

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Va.LGBTlawmakers call for Northam’s resignation Governor resists demands to step down following racist scandal By LOU CHIBBARO JR. LCHIBBARO@WASHBLADE.COM

Embattled Virginia Gov. RALPH NORTHAM (D) is facing increasing calls to resign. Washington Blade photo by Michael Key

All five LGBT members of the Virginia General Assembly have joined their Democratic colleagues in calling for Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam (D) to resign following the disclosure on Feb. 1 of a racist photo on his personal page in the 1984 yearbook of the medical school he attended. The statewide LGBT rights group Equality Virginia and the Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest LGBT advocacy organization, have also joined numerous other political and civil rights groups, including the NAACP and the Congressional Black Caucus, in calling on Northam to resign. On Monday night, members of the Gertrude Stein Democratic Club, D.C.’s largest local LGBT political group, voted unanimously to approve a resolution calling for Northam to resign “based on his demonstrated inability to lead Virginia in a manner consistent with the values of the Democratic Party.” As of Wednesday, Northam was still in his job. The LGBT lawmakers that joined colleagues calling for Northam to resign include Virginia State Sen. Adam Ebbin (D-Alexandria); and state House of Delegates members Mark Levine (D-Alexandria); Mark Sickle (D-Fairfax County); Danica Roem (D-Prince William County), who became the nation’s first seated transgender member of a state legislature last year; and Dawn Adams (D-Richmond), who last year became the state’s first openly lesbian member of the legislature. In yet another development that

rocked the state’s capital in Richmond, the same conservative online publication that disclosed Northam’s yearbook photo reported on Sunday that a woman has accused Virginia Lt. Gov. Justin Fairfax (D) of sexually assaulting her in 2004 in a hotel room in Boston during the Democratic National Convention. Fairfax immediately denied the allegation, saying he and the woman had consensual sexual relations prior to his current marriage. He said the motive for bringing up the allegation after more than 14 years was an attempt to tarnish his reputation at a time when he might become governor. If Northam resigns, Fairfax would be next in line to become governor, making him the state’s second black governor. The allegation against Fairfax raised speculation about whether Fairfax might also be forced to resign in the #MeToo era in which women have come forward to report they were victims of sexual assault years after the alleged assaults took place. In the event that Northam and Fairfax should resign, Virginia Attorney General Mark Herring (D) would be next in line for the governor’s position. LGBT activists in Virginia say that similar to Northam, both Fairfax and Herring have strong records of support for LGBT rights. On the day his yearbook page was first disclosed last week by the ultraconservative publication Big League Politics, Northam issued a statement apologizing for being in the photo. The

photo showed a man in blackface and another person wearing a Ku Klux Klan robe and masked hat that covered the person’s face. Northam didn’t say which photo he was in. But the following day he stated at a nationally televised press conference that he and others who know him determined he was not in the inflammatory photo and someone who helped produce the yearbook for Eastern Virginia Medical School in Norfolk 35 years ago mistakenly placed it on his page. In yet another development that baffled observers and prompted more calls for him to resign, Northam stated at the press conference that although he was not among the two people in the yearbook photo he did cover part of his face with black shoe polish in 1984 when he appeared in a dance contest in San Antonio, Texas, impersonating singer Michael Jackson. He said he was told years later by one of his black staff members that wearing blackface of any kind is considered offensive and a racist display. He said he apologized for his action, saying he has changed in the 35 years since that time and his long career as a military and civilian doctor and public official, including his tenure as a state legislator and governor, demonstrate his strong support for civil rights for all, including blacks and the LGBT community. The LGBT lawmakers and nearly all of their colleagues who have urged Northam to resign have yet to disclose their position on the sexual assault allegation against Fairfax. When asked by the Washington Blade about the Fairfax situation, members of the Stein Club on Monday said they did not believe there was sufficient evidence associated with the allegation to take any action against Fairfax. The club members calling for Northam’s resignation said they would be pleased if Fairfax becomes governor. Virginia LGBT rights advocate Nick Benton, editor and publisher of the Falls Church News-Press, is a longtime observer of Virginia politics. He told the Blade on Monday that Democratic Party leaders throughout the state view the revelations about the racist photo on Northam’s yearbook page as potentially damaging to their effort to help their party win control of the Virginia Legislature in the state’s November elections. Benton said Democratic leaders believe anything that could create a roadblock from that happening must be stopped at all costs and their means of stopping that is to pressure Northam to resign. Yet Benton said he has found that many

“rank and file” Democrats in Northern Virginia and other parts of the state are not as committed to Northam’s resignation as are the party leaders. “I see more support for Northam than the media is showing,” he said. “I do not think Ralph Northam is a closet racist now,” Benton said, adding, “There is a lot of pain involved for those who are calling for his resignation because they know he is a good guy.” Roem, the trans State Delegate, is among those who say Northam’s yearbook photo and his contradictory statements about whether he was in the photo, have made it impossible for him to regain his credibility as a leader of the state. “I stand in solidarity with the @ VaBlackCaucus in calling for the resignation of the governor of Virginia,” Roem said in a statement. “Who I know him to be today is not reflective of his racist past but the wound ripped open today by that racism has irreparably harmed our commonwealth and hurt our people,” she said. In a three-page statement, gay Delegate Levine said while he too doesn’t believe Northam is a racist now he said his actions in the past and his statements during the past week have eroded his credibility. “Having said he was in the photo on Friday, I was stunned when Governor Northam denied being in the photo on Saturday,” Levine said. “He admitted to having donned black face to play Michael Jackson in a dance contest but insisted that he had never worn blackface at any other time and had never worn a KKK robe either,” said Levine. “But why then did he claim he did so only the day before?” Levine added. “What Northam said Saturday may well be true. But at this point, how can he possibly lead Virginia?” Northam told the news conference on Saturday, Feb. 2, that he had never seen the controversial photo until it appeared in the press the day before because he had never purchased his medical school yearbook. He said he initially issued the apology and acknowledgement that he was one of the two people in the photo in a rush to apologize and affirm that his values are not reflected by what he called a racist and “disgusting” photo that somehow landed on his yearbook page. On Saturday, Feb. 2, Northam told the news conference after reflecting on the matter he determined he had no memory of ever having posed for the photo and absolutely believes he isn’t in the photo. He said he had no immediate plans to resign but said he would reconsider that position if he determines he could no longer be effective as the state’s leader.

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D.C.sees alarming increase in anti-LGBT hate crimes in 2018

Activists blame ‘hostile political environment’ for spike in violence By LOU CHIBBARO JR. LCHIBBARO@WASHBLADE.COM

The number of anti-LGBT hate crimes reported in D.C. in 2018 nearly doubled from the number of reported cases in 2016, according to recently released data by D.C. police. The data show there were a total of 97 reported hate crimes in the nation’s capital in 2018 based on the victims’ sexual orientation or gender identity or expression, representing an increase from 59 such cases in 2016 and 69 anti-LGBT hate crimes reported in 2017. The number of anti-LGBT hate crimes reported in D.C. in 2018 also amounted to nearly half the total number of all hate crimes reported in the city that year, which came to 209. The anti-LGBT figures were significantly higher than other categories of hate crimes such as those based on a victim’s, ethnicity (49), race (39), or religion (12). The police data show that most of the cases for each of the past three years in D.C. involved hate crimes based on the victim’s sexual orientation, although hate crimes targeting transgender people also rose sharply but made up fewer cases. The reported cases based on sexual orientation in the District included 61 in 2018, 56 in 2017, and 20 in 2016. The number of gender identity and expression cases where transgender people were targeted included 36 in 2018, 13 in 2017, and 19 in 2016. A recent report released by California State University’s Center for the Study of Hate and Extremism shows that hate crimes have increased in many cities across the country over the past two years. The report says anti-LGBT hate crimes similar to D.C. are most prevalent in many other cities. Both activists and city officials in D.C., including Mayor Muriel Bowser, have cited what they call a hostile political environment from the Trump administration as a potential cause for the uptick in hate crimes. “I do think that the president of the United States has been very actively tearing down protections for the LGBTQ community, whether it’s in the military or whether it’s in employment,” said Monica Palacio, director of the D.C. Office of Human Rights. “I personally, in my work, I know that over the last 25 years when you have a national role model spewing homophobia a lot is going to happen in the way people treat one another,” Palacio told the Washington Blade. “And it’s going to tear down that kind of common decency and sense of respect for people’s life choices,” she said. D.C. Police Lt. Brett Parson, who oversees the department’s LGBT Liaison Unit, said he believes at least some of the increased numbers of reported hate crimes in D.C. are due to a policy put in place two years ago by D.C. Police Chief Peter Newsham to educate the public about hate crimes and to encourage citizens to report such crimes. “Our outreach and our relationship with members of the community continue to get stronger and stronger,” Parson said. “And that’s probably the reason why you’re seeing more people report their victimization,” he said. “And then you have to admit also that there are probably more bias-related crimes occurring.” Data released by D.C. police through a large spreadsheet show that the antiLGBT hate crimes reported in 2018 took place in all parts of the city, with many appearing to occur in neighborhoods not known to have gay bars or a visible LGBT presence such as Dupont Circle or Adams Morgan. D.C. police point out that a hate crime is not considered an actual crime in and of itself but rather a “designation” linked to a crime such as assault, robbery, destruction of property or threats of violence. A statement on the police website notes that “most speech is not a hate crime, regardless of how offensive it may be.” Under D.C.’s hate crimes law a person found guilty of a “bias related” or hate crime may be fined up to one and a half times the maximum fine and imprisoned for up to one and a half times the maximum prison term for the underlying crime such as assault, murder or other crimes with a hate crime attachment.

D.C.gay men arrested for attempting to smuggle drugs on cruise ship

Reports say both work for U.S. gov’t contractors; ship part of gay cruise By LOU CHIBBARO JR. LCHIBBARO@WASHBLADE.COM

A tip from the U.S. Department of Homeland Security enabled Miami police on Sunday, Feb. 3, to arrest two D.C. gay men as they allegedly attempted to smuggle in their luggage illegal drugs on board a cruise ship in the port of Miami, according to a police arrest affidavit filed in court. The affidavit says a DHS special agent informed police that DHS intercepted an email exchange between D.C. residents and roommates Peter Melendez, 36, and Robert Koehler, 27, in which the two men allegedly conspired to smuggle drugs on board the cruise ship with the intent to distribute them to passengers. Police charging documents show the two men are residents of a house on the 700 block of Harvard St., N.W. in the District’s Columbia Heights neighborhood. City property records show that Melendez owns the house. The documents show Melendez was charged with conspiracy to traffic in illegal drugs and trafficking illegal drugs. Koehler was charged with trafficking illegal drugs. The charging documents show the two men were initially held without bond in the Miami detention center with a notation dated Feb. 3 stating “NO BOND” – “DO NOT RELEASE.” A clerk with the Miami-Dade County Circuit Court told the Blade on Wednesday that both men were released on bond the next day on Feb. 4. Bond for Melendez was set at $7,500 and Koehler’s bond was set at $30,000, the clerk said. Both men are scheduled to appear for an arraignment on March 5, court records show. According to the arrest affidavit, “co-defendant Melendez is a current contract employee for the U.S. government.” It says “several pages” of emails exchanged between Melendez and Koehler in which they planned to distribute drugs on the ship were intercepted by DHS through Melendez’s “government computer.” It says that during a routine K-9 search of passengers at the port prior to passengers boarding their cruise ship both Melendez and Koehler’s luggage “alerted” positive for narcotics. It says a further search by Custom Border Protection (CBC) officers found various quantities of various controlled substances in each of the men’s luggage. Among the findings in both their luggage were approximately 27 grams of suspected MDMA, known as ecstasy; 18 grams of Ketamine; and 246 grams of suspected GHB. Also found in Melendez’s luggage were five grams of Adderall, a prescription amphetamine; and seven grams of Viagra, the arrest affidavit says. The police charging documents and the arrest affidavit don’t identify the cruise ship by name. But at least two news media outlets – The Chesapeake Today, which covers crime related stories, and the British tabloid the Daily Mail – reported they learned from police the ship was the Royal Caribbean line’s Allure of the Seas, which was embarking on an allgay, seven-day cruise to the Bahamas and Mexico. The website of the company that organizes Atlantis gay cruises, which arranges LGBT cruises on large cruise ships, promoted the cruise on which Melendez and Koehler allegedly conspired to sell drugs as “the world’s largest all-gay cruise” which was to include “5,400 guys from over 60 different nations.” Neither Melendez nor Koehler or their attorney identified in court papers as Kevin Gardiner could immediately be reached for comment. On his Facebook page Melendez says he has worked since 2009 as a “jack of all trades” at the U.S. Pentagon. People who know him told the Blade he competed in and won in D.C.’s annual Miss Adams Morgan drag pageant in 2016 or 2017. The Miami Herald reported that Koehler also works in D.C. as a federal government contractor, but that designation was not disclosed in preliminary court documents or the arrest affidavit. D.C. gay activist Lane Hudson, who knows Melendez, said Melendez has been part of the gay circuit party scene where recreational drugs are sometimes used. “It’s important for people to know that the circuit scene is tight knit, looks after one another, cares for each other and simply chooses to party in a different way than the drinking crowd,” Hudson said. “It would be nice if the law allowed for this, but for now, it doesn’t. That means that situations like this sometimes occur,” he said. “I’ve known Peter for 7-8 years and he’s always been a wonderful member of our community,” said Hudson. “He is loving, caring, well-liked and one heck of a drag queen. I hope he comes out of the other side of this in a good way. He certainly wasn’t out to harm anyone.” 10 • WA S HI NGTON B LAD E.CO M • FEB R UARY 0 8 , 2 0 1 9 • LO CAL N EWS

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Trump’s SOTU speech includes audience of trans service members Skepticism as president calls for end to HIV epidemic By CHRIS JOHNSON CJOHNSON@WASHBLADE.COM

From left: Navy veteran TAVION DIGNARD, Army Maj. IAN BROWN, Capt. JENNIFER PEACE, Navy Petty Officer 2nd Class MEGAN WINTERS and Air Force Staff Sgt. LOGAN IRELAND attend the State of the Union Address on Feb. 5.

Washington Blade photo by Michael Key

President Trump’s audience for his second State of the Union address on Tuesday included a joint session of Congress — and several transgender service members invited as guests of Democratic lawmakers. Reps. Chris Pappas (D-N.H.) and Jackie Speier (D-Calif.) invited the trans service members as their guests. The speech itself ignored the issue of trans military service, but President Trump took the opportunity to call for an end to HIV transmission in the next 10 years — a call that was received with skepticism from advocates unhappy with his administration’s approach to the epidemic thus far. Trump talked about the United States having made “important strides” in combating HIV/AIDS, but that the time has come to finish the job. “In recent years we have made remarkable progress in the fight against HIV and AIDS,” Trump said. “Scientific breakthroughs have brought a once-distant dream within reach. My budget will ask Democrats and Republicans to make the needed commitment to eliminate the HIV epidemic in the United States within 10 years. We have made incredible strides. Incredible. Together, we will defeat AIDS in America and beyond.” The part of Trump’s remarks about “important strides” in combatting HIV/ AIDS and defeating the disease not just in the United States but “beyond” were adlibs from his prepared remarks. Trump’s line about defeating HIV/ AIDS was among those applauded by members of Congress on both sides of the aisle, including possible 2020 hopefuls

Sens. Kamala Harris (D-Calif.), Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), Kirsten Gillibrand (D-N.Y.), Cory Booker (D-N.J.), Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) and Sherrod Brown (D-Ohio). The inclusion of the call to end HIV in the State of the Union address was expected. On Monday, Politico reported health officials within the Trump administration were expecting that call to be a component of the speech. The Department of Health & Human Services is also expected to unveil a more detailed plan later this week. Carl Schmid, deputy executive director of the AIDS Institute, said in a statement Trump is taking a “bold step” in the fight to end HIV/AIDS. A co-chair of the Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS, Schmid said the remarks were part of a bold initiative to end the HIV epidemic by 2030. “His proposal to increase access to antiretroviral medications for people living with HIV and for prevention in those communities with the highest rates of HIV and where additional resources are most needed will translate into fewer HIV infections,” Schmid said. “Under the president’s proposal, the number of new infections can eventually be reduced to zero.” Trump’s call to end HIV transmission is consistent with the administration adopting Obama-era goals to combat the epidemic in a progress report issued last year on the 2010 National AIDS Strategy. The administration is set to produce an updated version of that strategy by 2020. The announcement also follows Secretary of Health & Human Services Alex Azar’s pledge

in December to fight HIV/AIDS in a speech that recognized its disproportionate impact on African-Americans, Latinos and gay men. Among those commending Trump for including a call to end HIV and calling for additional detail was Michael Weinstein, president of the AIDS Healthcare Foundation. “Many experts have stated over and over that we have the tools to end the epidemic. What we lack is the political will,” Weinstein said. “AHF looks forward to the details of the president’s plan and hopes it will address primary prevention of new HIV infections – including aggressive promotion of condoms and safer sex education, universal access to treatment for everyone living with HIV, strengthening the Ryan White HIV Program and protecting the 340B Drug Discount Program.” But the general consensus among HIV/AIDS advocates was Trump — who defeated a Democratic nominee in 2016 who talked of an “AIDS-free generation” — wasn’t making enough commitments to pull off his stated goal. Rep. Mark Takano (D-Calif.), who’s gay and one of the co-chairs of the LGBTQ Equality Caucus, told he Washington Blade on Capitol Hill after the State of the Union address he does “applaud” the pledge to end HIV, but said the commitment may fall by the wayside like so many others. “The president made bold promises in the campaign about reducing the costs of prescription drugs and when it came really time to follow through on it, he didn’t do it,” Takano said. “The same thing about infrastructure. Democrats, all of us, are willing to work with him on a true infrastructure bill, but he’s got to follow up on it, so the words I can agree with, whether they are bold true words remain to be seen. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) was also cautious about Trump’s commitment to end HIV in a statement after the speech. “The president’s call for ending HIV transmission in America is interesting, but if he is serious about ending the HIV/AIDS crisis, he must end his assault on health care and the dignity of the LGBTQ community,” Pelosi said. Stacey Long Simmons, director of advocacy and action at the National LGBTQ Task Force, also questioned whether Trump was serious about ending HIV transmission despite his words in the State of the Union address. “HIV advocates all agree that ending transmission is an important goal,” Simmons said. “Based on Trump’s repeatedly broken promises, we have cause to question his

commitment until we see the necessary funding flowing to strategies that will actually end transmission.” Trump has disappointed advocates fighting HIV/AIDS before. For starters, Trump — in an action first reported by the Washington Blade — fired all members of the Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS in late 2017 via a letter without explanation. Those terminations occurred after six members of the council resigned on their own in protest over the administration’s inaction on the epidemic. Only in December 2018 did the Trump administration finally announce new members of the council, but those members were two co-chairs, Schmid and John Wiesman. No other replacements have been named. Trump has also made repealing the Affordable Care Act a main goal of his administration, although efforts seemed to have fizzled out after failed attempts in his first year in the White House. Nonetheless, Trump succeeded in repealing the individual mandate in Obamacare under the 2017 tax reform law and allowed states to implement work requirements under the Medicaid expansions. According to the Henry Kaiser Family Foundation, Medicaid is the largest source of insurance coverage for people with HIV. An estimated 40 percent of people with HIV receive care under the program. Also of concern are the “religious freedom” actions instituted within the Department of Health & Human Services under Roger Severino, a former Heritage Foundation scholar and now director of the HHS Office for Civil Rights. Those actions include the creation of a Conscience & Religious Freedom Division. Critics say the division enables the denial of medical services in the name of religious freedom to LGBT people, including gender reassignment surgery for transgender people, as well as people with HIV. A budget proposal with increased funds for HIV/AIDS would be a change for Trump. His first two budget requests to Congress have also requested funding cuts for both domestic HIV programs, chiefly the Ryan White Care Act, and programs designed to fight the global epidemic, such as PEPFAR. Although the cuts to domestic programs were diminished in the second budget, the cuts to global programs were still considered draconian. Despite Trump’s request to cut those programs, the Republican-controlled Congress continued appropriating funds for those programs at the same level.

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Is it homophobic to speculate about a politician’s sexuality? Graham rumors renew age-old debate over outing By JAMES WELLEMEYER

Sen. LINDSEY GRAHAM (R-S.C.) has been the subject of speculation over his sexual orientation for years.

In 2004, LGBT activist and journalist Mike Rogers posted a story on his website—Blog ACTIVE—suggesting that Edward Schrock, a Republican congressman representing Virginia’s second district, solicited sex with other men through a phone service. For years, Schrock had advocated a variety of anti-gay policies. Not only did he oppose same-sex marriage, but he objected to LGBT people serving in the military. Schrock never denied the allegations Rogers made, and not long after the story came out, Schrock announced that he would end his campaign for a third term in Congress. Rogers started his blog in 2004 at a time when Republicans had added anti-gay marriage initiatives to ballots in 11 states. He claimed that some of the Republican operatives pushing these initiatives were themselves gay and made it his mission to expose them. “Many closeted homosexual men were at night going out to gay bars, getting laid, having sex, and then by day running

some of the most homophobic political campaigns,” he told The Blade. Rogers asserts the right to privacy ends “when you’re oppressing the very group that you’re a member of.” In recent years, Rogers’ blog has been largely inactive. But the concept of outing has made its way back into the national political conversation. In September 2018, comedian Bill Maher alleged Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) is gay while criticizing the congressman for his defense of Brett Kavanaugh. Likewise, on National Coming Out Day in October, television host Chelsea Handler suggested Graham is gay in a Tweet. Both Handler and Maher faced backlash from the right and the left for their comments. Many on the left disapproved of the statements because they took them as a suggestion that being gay is somehow funny or shameful. Despite the pushback, others have made similar comments about Graham in the following months. Shortly after Handler tweeted in

October, Graham addressed the yearsold rumors and said he is not gay. But regardless of the senator’s sexual orientation, the issue has raised the question of whether it’s unethical—or even homophobic—to speculate about a politician’s sexuality, particularly while criticizing them. Rogers would maintain that it isn’t. But his approach remains controversial, and not all agree with it. Jerri Ann Henry, executive director of Log Cabin Republicans, opposes outing in all circumstances. “I’ll tell you first and foremost with no hesitation that I think outing is something that is terrible and that we should refrain from doing,” she said. She said coming out is a personal decision and a personal experience. “There’s always factors involved that we on the outside may not know.” In respect to Handler’s recent Tweet about Graham, Henry worries that outing is re-emerging as a political tactic. “When we start using this as a political tool, it takes away from the beauty of somebody celebrating their sexuality and coming out, even though there is sometimes legitimate difficulty with that and legitimate strife,” she told the Blade. She sees speculating about or revealing an individual’s sexual orientation or gender identity as nothing more than a “form of bullying.” The Trevor Project, a suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization for LGBTQ young people, largely echoed Henry’s stance on the issue. “It is absolutely never okay to ‘out’ someone without their permission, as folks’ sexual orientation and gender identity can be a deeply personal part of their narrative,” Trevor Project Senior Trainer Joie DeRitis told the Blade. “We know that being ‘outed’ can have a profound negative impact on folks’ mental health, and their physical and emotional safety.” Jim Kolbe, a former U.S. congressman from Arizona, holds a position somewhere between the stances of Rogers and Henry. Kolbe came out as gay publicly in 1996 after The Advocate threatened to reveal his sexual orientation in an article due to his support for the Defense of Marriage Act of 1996. The bill, signed into law by President Bill Clinton after passing the House and Senate with a veto-proof majority, defined marriage as a union of one man and one woman. Kolbe was “not happy” when he learned The Advocate was planning to out

him, but in retrospect, “it was the best thing that ever happened to me,” he told the Blade this week. That doesn’t change the problems with the practice of outing, he says. “I think that individuals have to make the decision themselves when they want to.” He said an exception can be made if a certain politician or person in power is actively pushing virulently anti-LGBT policies and consistently speaking out against the LGBT community. He doesn’t believe his 1996 vote in favor of DOMA put him in this category, though. “People can have different views on gay marriage and be gay,” he said. Outing as a political tactic and as a general practice remain controversial. Most agree that revealing the sexual orientation of an individual who has done no harm to the LGBT community is unethical. In some cases, outing can even subject LGBT people to physical danger. More than 70 countries criminalize samesex relationships, and a few of those nations retain the death penalty for homosexual acts. In these areas, outing can send its victims to prison or a far worse fate. As recently as November 2018, the government of Tanzania launched an anti-gay crackdown and asked residents to report anyone they knew to be gay to a hotline. In the United States and other countries where samesex marriage is legal, outing can have other consequences. For young people, in particular, it can affect family relationships and place already vulnerable individuals in further danger. Roughly 40 percent of the 1.6 million homeless young people in the U.S. identify as LGBT, according to various studies. Many of these kids were forced out of their homes because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. Some others likely left after experiencing hate and abuse from their parents or other family members. But the question becomes more complicated when the discussion centers on powerful politicians who have pushed anti-gay agendas. In those circumstances, “the intent behind it is a real sense of betrayal or anger,” former National News Media Director at GLAAD Cathy Renna told the Blade. What is clear is that the community hasn’t made up its mind on the issue of outing and likely won’t reach a uniform agreement—at least not anytime soon.

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Buttigieg makes pitch to LGBTvoters in 2020 bid Seeks passage of Equality Act, greater trans visibility By CHRIS JOHNSON CJOHNSON@WASHBLADE.COM

PETE BUTTIGIEG is hoping to become the first openly gay person to win the Democratic presidential nomination. Blade photo by Michael Key

It’s pronounced “Boot-a-judge.” That was the first thing South Bend, Ind. Mayor Pete Buttigieg cleared up for the Blade in response to questions about his 2020 presidential run in a Jan. 31 interview. Buttigieg, a Rhodes scholar and Afghanistan veteran, beefed up his national profile in his 2017 run to become Democratic National Committee chair. The 2020 White House hopeful announced his exploratory committee last month. If successful, the long shot Buttigieg would be the first openly gay person to win the Democratic presidential nomination and the White House. LGBT priorities for Buttigieg, who said he’d run a campaign based on the themes of freedom, democracy and security, include passage of the Equality Act and greater visibility for transgender people. Distinguishing himself from other 2020 hopefuls, Buttigieg said he supports transgender people having access to transition-related care, even when they’re in prison. Other candidates, including Kamala Harris and Elizabeth Warren, have different records on that issue. The Q&A between the Blade and Buttigieg follows; the full Q&A can be found at our website. Blade: You’re running in a field

of Democratic candidates, many of whom have been longtime LGBT allies. What do you bring to the table that’s different? Pete Buttigieg: First of all, I’m very mindful of the possibility of being the first out nominee in American history, and you know, I think it’s safe to say for many reasons, I’m not like the others. I also just have a different outlook: I am from the industrial Midwest, I’m in local government and I come from a generation that I think really needs to be stepping forward right now. I think our generation has so much at stake in the future and the decisions that are being made today, and I think it really shows the people in charge, like the current president and administration, don’t care very much about the future because they don’t plan to be here. 2054 is the year when I will reach the current age of the current president, and I think you just take some of these decisions about climate, about the economy much more seriously if you’re hoping to be here in 2054. What we have here right now is a sequence of decisions that have been made that are very short term, very destructive and it’s time for voices from a generation that has a personal stake in that

future to step forward and talk about how we can make that future different. Blade: But what makes you think you can win the White House if you get the nomination? Buttigieg: I think the message needs to revolve around three themes: freedom, democracy and security. I think that you have a very strong, progressive foundation for those issues, but I also think we’ve not done a very good job of communicating them across the aisle. Freedom is something that I think has been monopolized by conservatives in terms of political rhetoric, but when I think about everything from the freedom to marry to the freedom to start a new business knowing you can still get health care, it’s really progressive and Democrats have delivered the kinds of freedom that are most important for our daily lived experience. When it comes to democracy, I think we’ve demonstrated that we are the party that is more interested in making sure that more people can vote, and I think this needs to be part of a national conversation as well. We need to shore up our democracy through a number of reforms, including D.C. statehood, that just make our democratic republic a little more democratic. And then on security, we’ve got to understand 21st century security means a lot more than just border security and traditional military issues. I was in the military. I certainly spent a lot of time thinking about traditional military issues, but we have to be talking about cybersecurity, election security, climate security, digital security. And I think people are ready for a message that’s just different from what we’ve had before. We have a profoundly, almost historically, unpopular president, but that doesn’t mean he gets defeated on his own if we don’t have a compelling message that’s different and better. Blade: Let’s bring this closer to our LGBT readers. How does support for the LGBT community figure into your run for the presidency? Buttigieg: I think that it will be vital. I think it will be a spruce of lifeblood because we are perhaps the only minority in more or less equal proportion across every racial, ethnic, economic and geographic group in the country, so one thing that will be very important for the success of this project, especially early on when people take your measure based on fundraising is to be able to demonstrate grassroots support from people in the community who believe that representation at the highest levels, actually having someone from the LGBTQ community on the ballot

is important, that it will make things better for the next person who comes along and that America needs to be given a chance to demonstrate that it’s ready for this. Blade: In terms of LGBT rights issues, where do you want to go with that? Buttigieg: I think one of the big things that we’re looking at, of course, is the Equality Act. I live in a state where it is still — not in South Bend because we took local action, but in most parts of my state it’s still perfectly illegal to be fired for who you are, and I think we need better legislation, civil rights legislation that takes care of that. Obviously, we have a lot of issues with hate crimes now in Indiana. At the state level, we’ve been pursuing hate crimes legislation. We have federal hate crimes legislation, but we have to do a lot more, including, not just at the policy level, but at the cultural level. There’s several reasons why hate crimes have gone up by most measures in recent years, and I think, a lot of that starts at the top. It has to do with leadership, it has to do with the tone that it set by those in charge and it has to change. Blade: What concerns you most about how President Trump is handling LGBT issues? Buttigieg: Obviously the attack on trans rights and the trans military ban is extremely disturbing. When I was in the military, the people I served with could not have cared less whether I was going home to a girlfriend or boyfriend. They just wanted to know that I was going to be someone they could trust with their lives and vice-versa. Trans members of the military who are willing to put their lives on the line in order to defend this country deserve to be supported by their commander in chief, and it’s extremely disturbing, especially for someone who, let’s face it, kind of pink-washed his campaign early on and portrayed himself as somebody who might change the way the Republican Party related to the LGBT community to turn around and do this demonstrates that he was never serious about that, not to mention the elevation of Mike Pence to one heartbeat away from the presidency. Blade: What kind of place will transgender people have in your campaign and your presidency? Buttigieg: A very prominent place. I’ve been really heartened to see more people, especially in my generation, stepping forward. I think Danica Roem opened a lot of doors in terms of elected leadership, and I think we will be looking to make sure that our campaign as well as a future administration reflects the diversity of this country. Obviously, that includes making sure there are visible roles for trans people.

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Babs Siperstein, pioneering trans activist,dies at 76 MADONNA is returning to the GLAAD awards stage.

70% of voters back trans military service: poll Trans activist BABS SIPERSTEIN died last weekend. Washington Blade photo by Michael Key

Barbra “Babs” Siperstein, a transgender Democratic activist in New Jersey who’s credited with taking a lead role in pushing a pro-trans state birth certificate law for her state, died last weekend at age 76, according to local media reports. Siperstein died days after the law went into effect on Feb. 1. The “Babs Siperstein Law” allows individuals in New Jersey to change the gender marker on their birth certificate without proof of surgery and offer a gender-neutral option. The law was signed by New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy. The first openly transgender member of the Democratic National Committee, Siperstein was appointed in 2011 to the Democratic National Committee’s executive committee and served there until 2017. Siperstein was a superdelegate for Hillary Clinton at the 2016 Democratic National Convention. Speaking with the Washington Blade at the convention, Siperstein was dubious of Trump’s pledge to support LGBT peopleduring his speech at the 2016 Republican National Convention. (Her prediction later proved true.) “There’s nothing behind it,” Siperstein said. “He said unequivocally that he was going to appoint the most conservative Supreme Court justices. He will say anything.” Although she was a Democrat, Siperstein wasn’t afraid to take on members of her own party on the issue of transgender rights. In 2015, Siperstein told the Blade she was “extremely disappointed” in Kamala Harris (D-Calif.), now a U.S. senator and a 2020 presidential candidate, for her actions as California attorney general appealing a court order granting a transgender prison inmate in California access to gender reassignment surgery. “I would think that any political candidate, or any public servant, that would fight to prevent basic and necessary medical treatment for any person would be incompetent to serve,” Siperstein said. “How can you trust any public servant, any elected official, who fights to prevent basic and necessary medical service for any person? Who’s next?” Sean Meloy, who served as the DNC’s Director of LGBTQ Engagement and is now political director for the LGBTQ Victory Fund, said Siperstein built a strong legacy. “For so many in the Democratic Party, Babs was the first openly trans person they ever met and she undoubtably changed the hearts and minds of many party leaders who were not yet committed to trans equality,” Meloy said. “She was a constant advocate for the entire LGBTQ community and helped make the Democratic Party more accepting not just of trans people, but trans candidates as well. Her presence in the DNC helped prepare the party and pave the way for trailblazing trans Democratic candidates like Danica Roem and Christine Hallquist – and her impact will be felt for years to come.” CHRIS JOHNSON

A new poll has found a whopping 70 percent of the American public believe transgender people should be able to serve in the U.S. military despite policies from President Trump seeking to bar them from enlisting. The Quinnipiac University Poll was published last week in the aftermath of the U.S. Supreme Court green lighting Trump’s transgender military ban. Republicans were the only listed group in the poll opposed to transgender people in the military. They oppose transgender service 50-40 percent. Comparatively, Democrats backed transgender service 94-3 and independent voters support it 75-16. Among racial groups, the greatest support for transgender service came from black Americans, who back it 90-8. White voters support transgender service 66-26 and Hispanics support it 72-13 (although a significant portion of Hispanics, 15 percent, are undecided.) Ashley Broadway-Mack, president of the American Military Partner Association said in a statement the poll demonstrates Trump’s anti-trans policy isn’t consistent with American values. “It’s crystal clear that the far majority of Americans reject Donald Trump’s reckless, discriminatory attack on our nation’s brave transgender service members,” Broadway-Mack said. “Instead of singling out transgender troops for discrimination, Donald Trump should reverse course and honor them for the heroes they are. Transgender service members have proven time and again that what matters is their ability to accomplish the mission — not their gender identity.” The poll found support overall is similar to where it stood in August 2017, when 68 percent of voters backed transgender service and 27 percent opposed it. That was months after Trump announced on Twitter he planned to ban transgender people from the military “in any capacity.” The poll surveyed U.S. voters on a wide range of issues, finding Trump has

a negative 38-57 percent job approval rating — a dip in approval compared to his 41–55 percent earlier in the month. Quinnipiac also sought input from voters on other transgender issues. For example, the poll found 56 percent of voters think the United States is somewhat accepting of transgender people, compared to 23 percent who say the U.S. is not so accepting, 9 percent who say it is very accepting and 8 percent who say it is not accepting at all. CHRIS JOHNSON

Madonna is GLAAD’s ‘Advocate for Change’ Madonna will be honored for her LGBT advocacy at the 30th Annual GLAAD Media Awards on May 4 in New York City. The Advocate for Change Award is “presented to a person who, through their work, changed the game for LGBTQ people around the world.” GLAAD cites just a few examples of Madonna’s support of the LGBT community starting from the kickoff of her career when she performed at AIDS benefit concerts and included a leaflet in her “Like A Prayer” album titled “The Facts about AIDS,” which gave fans information on the HIV/AIDS crisis. “Like A Prayer” celebrates the 30th anniversary of its release this year. She has continued to fight for the LBGT community including more recently speaking out for LGBT equality in Romania, Malawi, Russia, among others. When presenting Anderson Cooper with the Vito Russo Award at the 24th Annual GLAAD Media Awards in 2013 she also dressed as a Boy Scout in solidarity with the banned gay members from Boy Scouts of America. “From the HIV crisis to international LGBTQ issues, she fearlessly pushes for a world where LGBTQ people are accepted,” GLAAD President and CEO Sarah Kate Ellis said in a statement. “Her music and art have been life-saving outlets for LGBTQ people over the years and her affirming words and actions have changed countless hearts and minds.” MARIAH COOPER

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Migrants find refuge at lesbian-run shelter in Mexico

D.C.man represents LGBT Catholics in Panama Six Dignity USA members were out and proud at World Youth Day

Some talk of fleeing anti-LGBT violence

By JOEY DIGUGLIELMO JOEYD@WASHBLADE.COM

By MICHAEL K. LAVERS MLAVERS@WASHBLADE.COM

MEXICALI, Mexico — Cindy Campos was washing clothes on a concrete washboard in the courtyard of Cobina Posada del Migrante, a migrant shelter in the Mexican border city of Mexicali, shortly after 4 p.m. on Jan. 27. Campos and her two children — her 6-year-old daughter Alexia and her 4-yearold son Dylan — and her sister arrived at the shelter the day before. Campos, 22, told the Blade they fled Mexico’s Michoacán state after her partner was shot to death outside her home. “We fled mainly because of fear of what will happen to my children, to me,” she said. Campos and her children are among the more than 200 migrants from Mexico and Central America who are currently living at the shelter, which is less than a mile south of the Calexico West Port of Entry between Mexicali and Calexico, Calif., in the Imperial Valley. A group of local LGBTI residents founded the shelter in 1987. Altagracia Tamayo, a lesbian activist in Mexicali, currently manages Cobina Posada del Migrante. Casandra, a native of Acapulco who identifies as a transsexual woman, lives at the shelter and oversees its day-to-day operations. Cobina Posada del Migrante is one of seven migrant shelters in Mexicali, which is the capital of Mexico’s Baja California state. It currently receives financial support from the governments of Mexicali, Baja California and Mexico. Casandra was quick to point out to the Blade the migrants who stay at the shelter don’t have to pay for anything. “It’s free,” she said. Thousands of migrants who hope to seek asylum in the U.S. have traveled to the border over the last couple of years. Many of these migrants were traveling in large caravans that arrived in Tijuana, a city that is roughly two hours west of Mexicali, last November and May respectively. Mexicali has not seen this influx of migrants, but many of those who are staying at Cobina Posada del Migrante hope they too can find refuge in the U.S. José Javier Vázquez told the Blade he and his son left their home in Honduras’ Cortés department on Oct. 22, 2018, because of poverty and death threats they received from gang members. Vázquez, his son and a group of five other people traveled through Mexico on freight trains that are known as “the beast” or “La Bestía” or walked. Vázquez, a farmer whose wife and two daughters remain in Honduras, told the Blade he hopes to cross the U.S. border and seek asylum. “It’s the wish that I have,” he said. Maira González Alvarado from Michoacán state is currently living at the shelter with her two young daughters, including one who was born six weeks ago. She told the Blade her mother is already in the U.S., and she wants to live with her. “Each day there are seven people killed where I am,” said González. Campos told the Blade that her children witnessed her partner’s murder. “They were there,” she said. “All of this was very hard.” The shelter’s residents spoke with the Blade against the backdrop of continued outage over President Trump’s immigration policy that includes the separation of migrant children from their parents once they enter the U.S. Casandra acknowledged Trump’s immigration policy has sparked concern among migrants in Mexicali. She also pointed out closing the border could adversely impact the U.S. economy, in part, because migrants often take jobs on farms and elsewhere that Americans don’t want. “The U.S. would die of hunger,” Casandra told the Blade. “It will lose millions of pesos if the port of entry closed for two days.”

From left are BREANNA MEKULY, MELI BARBER, CATHERINE BUCK, JOHN FREML, EVAN VAUGHAN and KEITH HALL. Photo by Lorena Arosemena Charles

A 31-year-old, gay Washington man and federal employee just returned from Panama City, Panama where he attended the 16th annual World Youth Day Jan. 2227. The Roman Catholic Church-sponsored gathering, started by Pope John Paul II in 1985, is held every two-three years at various international locales. Keith Hall, a member of Dignity Washington, a local LGBT Catholic church not recognized by the Vatican, went as part of a contingent of young professionals representing Equally Blessed, an umbrella organization that represents three LGBTaffirming Catholic groups — Call to Action, DignityUSA (Dignity Washington’s parent organization) and New Ways Ministry. No numbers were immediately available on how many attended this year’s event, but 6 million attended a Mass celebrated by Pope Francis in the Philippines at a previous World Youth Day in 2015, according to media reports. By any gauge, it’s a mammoth gathering. Though he’s only been a Catholic for two years, Hall (raised Baptist) said it was important for him to go represent LGBT believers at this event. He and five other Catholics ages 23-33 wore rainbow sashes to the various services and gatherings to represent LGBT Catholics. Though many lay Catholics — especially in the U.S. — support same-sex marriage, for instance, official church teaching is that any gay sex act is a mortal sin. Dignity advocates for LGBT recognition in the church. Hall says overall they were warmly received. “We got a few stares and comments, but the overwhelming majority welcomed us from priests down to parishioners,” Hall, a statistician with the International Trade

Commission, said. “It was a very nice and friendly atmosphere.” Outdoor liturgies were held throughout the conference and the Equally Blessed group squeezed in some beach and sightseeing excursions as well. “It was nice,” Hall said. “We’d have kids as young as 14, 15 come up to us and say, ‘Can I get a picture with you?’ We’re not out, but we’ll keep this photo,’ or others would say, ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah — you can post my pictures, please share it.’ We had a few parents say the same thing. They’d get a picture and say, ‘I would love to show this to my son or daughter.’ It was amazing to be there with such nice, friendly and affirming people.” Organizers at a few services asked if the group was planning to disrupt or protest the proceedings. They assured them they were not. “Our banner was pretty bright and out loud and we were in the back, but we just said, ‘No, no, no — we’re not here to cause a disruption,’ and it was fine,” Hall says. Hall was looking for a church three years ago upon moving to Washington for work. He saw a Dignity Washington ad and attended a Mass. Two months later he joined, buoyed by the presence of younger believers at Dignity’s service. He visited a few Baptist churches in Washington but said he could tell right away they were not LGBT-affirming. He only heard, he says, about LGBT-affirming local protestant churches such as Foundry or MCC after he joined Dignity. He says converting was “different but not a huge change.” Hall says he thinks eventually the Roman Catholic Church will affirm noncelibate LGBT members. “I think we’re making inroads,” he says. “I’m hopeful.”

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Keep your promise to protect each other.

GSAs help gay and straight students: study VANCOUVER—The longer a school has a gay-straight alliance (GSA) club, the safer students feel at school, according to new research from the University of B.C., The Star-Vancouver reports. UBC nursing professor Elizabeth Saewyc and her team have found that both LGBT and straight teens feel safer at school for each additional year the school’s GSA is operating, The Star reports. “That increase in safety doesn’t plateau,” said Saewyc, who is also the executive director of the university’s Stigma and Resilience Among Vulnerable Youth Centre. Previous research has shown that when a GSA has been around for three years or more, there’s a lower rate of suicidal thoughts in both gay and straight kids, Saewyc told The Star-Vancouver. The new paper, published in the SSM Population Health journal, used new statistical modeling and data from B.C.’s 2003, 2008 and 2013 adolescent health surveys. Youth at 135 schools, in grades seven-12, were asked how safe they felt at school.

Pence track record on HIV sparks concern INDIANAPOLIS — As new HIV cases burned like wildfire through rural Indiana in early 2015, then-Gov. Mike Pence went home to pray about a decision that challenged his long-held beliefs, The Daily Beast reports. Federal and state health officials had for months pushed Pence to issue an executive order to allow needle exchanges in counties devastated by the intertwined scourges of opioid addiction and HIV infections, the article notes. But Pence opposed that solution. He believed, despite research to the contrary, that needle exchanges promoted illegal drug use, The Daily Beast reports. Nearly three months into the outbreak, Pence, under mounting pressure, told aides on March 23, 2015 that he would pray about his decision that night at the governor’s mansion. Three days later, Pence authorized Indiana’s first needle exchange program in Scott County, where more than 200 people in a community of fewer than 24,000 had been diagnosed with HIV, The Daily Beast reports. As President Donald Trump announced during the State of the Union Address this week an initiative to stop HIV transmissions in the U.S. by 2030, there is ample reason

to regard the effort with skepticism, activists said. Pence’s track record also has HIV activist concerned. Days after he approved the needle exchange in Scott County, Pence stepped into a controversy that would deﬁne his only term as Indiana’s governor when he signed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act. The new law blocked local ordinances that protected LGBT citizens and others from discrimination. After a national outcry, Pence reluctantly signed an amended law that kept local human rights ordinances intact, The Daily Beast reports. About 40,000 people, according to the Centers for Disease Control, are infected with HIV each year in the U.S. Nearly twothirds are gay or bisexual men.

Trans provisions in Obamacare under attack

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AUSTIN — Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton has asked a federal judge to ax health care protections in the Affordable Care Act for transgender Americans and women seeking abortions, The Dallas Morning News reports. On Monday, Paxton and leaders from seven other states ﬁled a motion in federal court to undo rules that bar discrimination based on “gender identity” and “termination of pregnancy” in the act, also known as Obamacare. The enforcement of the protections have been on hold for more than two years, but Paxton said it’s time to eliminate them once and for all, The Dallas Morning News reports. “The federal government has no right to force Texans to pay for surgical procedures intended to change a person’s sex,” he said in a statement. “Our multistate coalition is asking the U.S. District appointment@citydentaldc.com Court to issue a summary judgment to protect medical professionals who ADVERTISING believe that engaging in such procedures PROOF #1 ISSUE DATE: 10.26.12 SALES REPRESENTATIVE: BRIAN PITTS (bpitts@washblade.com) or treatment violates their Hippocratic Oath, their conscience, or their personal REVIEW AD FOR COPY AND DESIGN ACCURACY. Revisions must be submitted within 24 hours of the date of proof. Proof will be considered final and will be submitted for publication if revision is not submitted within 24 hours of religious beliefs, which areREVISIONS protected by the date of proof. Revisions will not be accepted after 12:01 pm wednesday, the week of publication.Brown naff pitts omnimedia llc (dba the washington blade) is not responsible for the content and/or design of your ad. Advertiser is responsible for any legal liability arising out of or relating to the advertisement, and/or any material to which users the Constitution and federal REDESIGN law.” can link through the advertisement. Advertiser represents that its advertisement will not Massachusetts violate any criminal laws or 1221 Ave., NW TEXT REVISIONS any rgihts of third parties, including, but not limited to, such violations as infringement or misapporpriation of any The Affordable Care Act prohibits copyright, patent, trademark, trade secret, music, image, or other proprietary or propety right, false advertising, unfair IMAGE/LOGO REVISIONS competition, defamation, invasion of privacy or rights of celebrity, violation of anti-discrimination law or regulation, 703llcD(dbaSt., NWADVERTISER SIGNATURE hospitals and other health NO providers that or any other right of any person or entity. Advertiser agrees to idemnify brown naff pitts omnimedia the REVISIONS washington blade) and to hold brown naff pitts omnimedia llc (dba the washington blade) harmless from any and all By signing this proof you are agreeing to your contr liability, loss, damages, claims, or causes of action, including reasonable legal fees and expenses that may be incurred washington blade newspaper. This includes but is no receive federal money from denying care by brown naff pitts omnimedia llc, arising out of or related to advertiser’s breach of any of the foregoing representations and insertion schedule. and warranties. 955 L’Enfant Plz., SWpayment PR #325 on the basis of race, color, national origin, age, disability or sex. In the ﬁnal months of President Barack Obama’s tenure, his administration released new regulations interpreting “sex” discrimination to include “gender identity” and “termination of pregnancy,” meaning hospitals or health In-Network with most PPOs care programs who turn away transgender Americans or women seeing abortions could be denied federal funds, The Dallas Morning News reports.

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Cannabis Culture

Baltimore State’s Attorney MARILYN MOSBY said last week that the new policy will provide ‘a major step forward in making Baltimore city safer, fairer, and more equitable, and even more just.’ Photo via Twitter

Baltimore prosecutor won’t target marijuana possession BALTIMORE — Officials will no longer prosecute marijuana possession offenses in Baltimore, according to a newly announced public policy by the office of the State’s Attorney for Baltimore City. Under the plan, which takes immediate effect, the office will also move to expunge the criminal records of an estimated 5,000 citizens previously convicted of cannabis-related offenses. The office’s decision to cease targeting minor marijuana violations is similar to actions recently taken by prosecutors in a number of other major cities, including St. Louis, Missouri; Westchester, New York; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; and Norfolk, Virginia. State’s Attorney Marilyn Mosby said that the new policy will provide “a major step forward in making Baltimore city safer, fairer, and more equitable, and even more just.” The office will continue to take action against felony cases involving the possession of marijuana with intent to distribute, though prosecutors will refer all first-time offenders to diversion programs.

Cannabis users reduce consumption of other substances: study VICTORIA, Canada — Canadian patients who consume medical cannabis products in compliance with federal law typically reduce or eliminate their use of alcohol, tobacco, and pharmaceutical drugs, according to data published in the Harm Reduction Journal. A team of investigators from Canada and the United States surveyed over 2,000 federally registered medical cannabis patients with regard to their use of cannabis and other substances. Authors reported, “The most commonly cited substitution was for prescription drugs (69 percent), followed by alcohol (45 percent), tobacco (31 percent), and illicit substances (27 percent).” H E A LT H • FE BR UA RY 08, 2019 • WA SHINGTONB L A DE . COM • 23

Of those reporting substituting cannabis for conventional medications, 35 percent said that they used cannabis in place of opioids. Of these, 59 percent said that they ultimately ceased their use of opiates. Investigators further reported: “Of the 515 respondents who substituted cannabis for alcohol, 31 percent suggested they stopped using it completely and 37 percent reported reducing [their consumption] by at least 75 percent. ... Of the 406 participants who substituted cannabis for tobacco, 51 say they stopped using it completely and 14 percent reported reducing their use by 75 percent.” They concluded, “The findings ... add to a growing body of academic research suggesting that increased regulated access to medical and recreational cannabis can result in a reduction in the use of and subsequent harms associated with opioids, alcohol, tobacco, and other substances.” Prior studies have similarly reported an association between medical cannabis access and reduced prescription drug spending, as well as decreased levels of alcohol and tobacco consumption.

Access to medical cannabis reduces opioid use: study LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — The enactment of medical cannabis access laws is associated with moderately lower levels of prescription opioid use, even after controlling for potentially confounding variables, according to data published in the Journal of General Internal Medicine. A team of investigators from the University of Arkansas assessed prescription drug use data in a nationally representative sample of nearly five million Americans for the years 2006 to 2014. In a finding that is consistent with those of several other studies, authors concluded: “Medical marijuana legalization was associated with lower odds of opioid use, chronic opioid use, and high-risk opioid use when controlling for many state-level and patient-level factors. ... These results suggest that MML (medical marijuana laws) could be one policy tool that may modestly decrease opioid use; chronic and high- risk opioid use in a landscape where pain management options are limited and opioid misuse and addiction are rising rapidly.” Observational studies have similarly reported that medical cannabis access states possess lower rates of opioid-related use, abuse, hospitalizations, and mortality as compared to jurisdictions without operating medical marijuana programs. (Cannabis Culture news in the Blade is provided in partnership with NORML. For more information, contact Paul Armentano, NORML Deputy Director, at paul@norml.org.)

24 • WAS H IN GTO N B LAD E.CO M • FEB R UARY 0 8 , 2 0 1 9

RICHARD J. ROSENDALL

is a writer and activist. Reach him at rrosendall@starpower.net.

PETER ROSENSTEIN

is a D.C.-based LGBT rights and Democratic Party activist. He writes regularly for the Blade.

VI E WPO I NT • FE BRUA RY 08, 2019 • WA SHINGTONB L A DE . COM • 25

TAUSIF SANZUM

is a queer Bangladeshi freelance journalist.

THE UNITED STATES AIR FORCE BAND WA S H I N G T O N , D . C .

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The nuclear winter of our discontent

Liberal infighting only helps a divisive despot A theater critic once left a play at intermission and submitted a review as if he’d seen the whole thing, only to be called out because the theater burned down during the second act. Despite such a cautionary tale, I feel confident in offering this thumbnail review of Trump’s 2019 State of the Union in advance (written the previous Sunday): he lied a lot, insulted everyone’s intelligence, and made it all about himself. Trump’s mischief requires many helpers. Let’s consider a few. Mitch McConnell is like a man who sees his toddler reaching for a loaded handgun on the coffee table and does not stop him lest he throw a tantrum. Roger Stone, who threatened radio host Randy Credico’s therapy dog and said, “Prepare to die,” claims that the FBI treated him “worse than bin Laden.” Wouldn’t that have made him the late Roger Stone? Sarah Huckabee Sanders says that Trump was chosen by God. I can’t say we don’t have it coming, but I doubt Sanders meant that in the same spirit as Baldwin’s “The Fire Next Time.” The 2020 campaign has hardly begun and already we are awash in caricatures of progressivism, peppered with comparisons to Venezuela and scoldings by deficit hawks who were strangely silent in the face of ruinous tax cuts for the wealthy and new splurging on our massive military. Venezuela’s problem is not socialism but a corrupt autocrat. Munitions cannot make up for having a Russian asset in the White House whose daughter won trademarks from China amid trade negotiations. Trump reflexively rejected his intelligence chiefs’ public testimony on the top international threats, none of which involved our border with Mexico. He then withdrew America from the 1987 Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty. “Only Russia benefits from the US withdrawal,” writes Richard A. Clarke, who helped design the accord. We are being conned and endangered, yet often our response is liberal infighting caused not only by competing ambitions (which are all in the game), but by unresolved issues and lack of courage in our convictions. One problem is the blind arrogance of privilege that impedes cooperation. It oozes, for example, from a planned monument marking the 2020 centennial

of the 19th Amendment. Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony, who erased contributions by black women in their sixvolume History of Woman Suffrage, are to be honored with a Central Park sculpture in which they are reviewing a scroll of suffragists. Their century-old belief that race and gender were separate issues, and their paternalistic entitlement, are recapitulated in the sculpture’s design. Even now, many people scorn intersectional activism, whether out of ideological considerations, aesthetic distaste, or eagerness to house their concerns in separate silos from others. How is that working? Progress on a range of issues is being rolled back by a president whose power is based on dividing us. Trump has no moral authority when he condemns the racist and homophobic assault against “Empire” star Jussie Smollett, or criticizes Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam’s obtuse and contradictory statements regarding a racist yearbook photo from 1984. Trump discriminated against black tenants; attacked the Central Park Five even after they were proved innocent; launched his presidential campaign with a racist smear of Mexicans; won election in part by the suppression of black votes; and failed to rebuke violent Nazis after Charlottesville. An arsonist does not become a firefighter by changing hats. Trump’s deflections often rely on false equivalency. Northam’s policy record, for instance, is a good deal better than that old photo suggests. His positive actions ought not be erased amid the pressure to resign, by which Democrats demonstrate higher standards. But let us pause and reflect. The tragedy for our nation is not in Trump’s incitements, but their success. POTUS talks of unity while attacking America’s highest values and traditions. This is a time not for losing our nerve and conceding to fear, but upholding a better vision for our country. Caricatures of Democrats as radicals need not prevent us from connecting with voters’ imaginations. In our diversity we bring a wealth of gifts, which can bear fruit if only we summon the courage to welcome them and not be threatened by their cultivation. The work awaits us. Copyright © 2019 by Richard J. Rosendall. All rights reserved.

26 • WA S HI NGTO N B LAD E.CO M • FEB R UARY 0 8 , 2 0 1 9 • V IEWP O IN T

PETER ROSENSTEIN

琀栀攀

is a D.C.-based LGBT rights and Democratic Party activist. He writes regularly for the Blade.

How far left can Democrats go and still win? Candidates will have to elaborate on ambitious proposals The media keep talking and writing about how far left the Democratic Party is moving. With each new candidate’s announcement for president, pundits focus on how far left their platform is. During the past seven months we have seen a hyped-up frenzy around a smart, social media savvy young congressperson who claims allegiance to the Democratic Socialist Party. No one is reporting that had nothing to do with winning her seat. As someone who has been involved in Democratic Party politics at the local and national level for more than 50 years I find it fascinating. It becomes more intriguing when looking at a recent Gallup poll conducted after the November 2018 election showing “Given a choice, 54% of rank-and-file Democrats and Democraticleaning independents would prefer that their party move closer to the center, and 41% would rather it shift further left.” But then the poll would most likely look different were it only primary voters. I volunteered and worked for candidates who at the time were considered part of the left-wing of the Democratic Party. They were the newbies who wanted to change things; some won and some lost. I campaigned for reform Democratic Congressman William Fitts Ryan (D-N.Y.) against regular Herbert Zelenko (D-N.Y.) and Ryan won; for George McGovern for president and he lost; and for Bella S. Abzug (D-N.Y.) who won three terms in the House of Representatives and then lost to regular Democrat Patrick Moynihan in a Senate primary. I supported Bill Clinton for president, who ran as more of a moderate but I was a huge supporter of the universal healthcare plan Hillary Clinton tried to get through Congress in 1993. She was later attacked for being too moderate on healthcare, which is laughable. Today we seem to judge how leftleaning a candidate is by their views on healthcare, college tuition, climate change and taxes. To be considered left enough and “progressive,” a candidate has to come out for Medicare-for-all (whatever that will mean), free college tuition, a new Green Deal (whatever that will turn out to be) and much higher taxes on the rich. We no longer require candidates to provide a detailed plan of how they want

to accomplish these things. Each of these concepts is worth fighting for but being a policy wonk knowing how a candidate intends to accomplish them is important to me and should be important to every voter. It is clear when talking Medicare-for-all and some sort of free college tuition bill taxes will need to be raised on everyone, not just the rich. The Medicare-for-all concept some candidates are talking about, including getting rid of private healthcare insurance, would require a total rethinking of how healthcare is provided. Hillary Clinton’s 1993 single-payer system or universal healthcare failed then and it would fail to pass Congress today. Millions of Americans get their insurance from their employer. If the government provides the insurance for everyone how do you tax employers so the employee doesn’t potentially pay for all their insurance through higher taxes? Today we pay for Medicare with a tax all our working lives only to get it at age 65. Even then we pay a premium and it covers only 80 percent of costs. There are many issues around free college. First, is it only community college? Should it be means tested and does it get paid by the federal government when most of the college costs now paid by government are paid by state government? The New Green plan has yet to be defined by any candidate supporting the concept. However far left the winner of the Democratic primary is pushed we can only hope they can appeal to Middle America in the general election. Middle America wants change but has a hard time buying dramatic change. We should understand what any president will be able to do will generally be incremental. If they have one issue where they push for dynamic change that could stall all the others as we saw when it took a year to get the Affordable Care Act passed and nearly everything else went by the wayside. So as the primaries heat up let us keep in mind the last woman/man standing will need to be able to tack back to the center to win the general election. I hope the far left of the party accepts that and won’t let fighting for the perfect keep them from electing someone who will move the government forward in their desired direction.

VI E WPO I NT • FE BRUA RY 08, 2019 • WA SHINGTONB L A DE . COM • 27

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SEPTEMBER 23, 2018 — MARCH 3, 2019 AT THE BALTIMORE MUSEUM OF ART

Confronting a childhood of sexual abuse in Kuwait Maybe my story will help others avoid similar attacks

“A loose journey of self-discovery that can be read in mythological or biographical terms or, often, both at once.”

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Mark Bradford: Tomorrow Is Another Day, presented at The Baltimore Museum of Art, is made possible by the Henry Luce Foundation, Maryland State Arts Council – Department of Commerce, Nancy L. Dorman and Stanley Mazaroff, Gabriel and Deborah Brener, Katherine and Joseph Hardiman, John Meyerhoff, M.D. and Lenel Srochi-Meyerhoff, Mafia Papers Studio, and Hauser & Wirth. The project is also supported in part by an award from the National Endowment for the Arts. For more information, visit www.arts.gov.

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I must have been around 6 when the man renting a room in our house made me sit on his lap while my parents were away and felt all over my body. I remember that it was repeated multiple times over the next year. Touching, pressing, kissing, etc., the forms of “love” became more and more aggressive. There came a point when I started locking myself in my parents’ room if they were sleeping or away to avoid this man. By the time I was in fourth grade, most of my classmates would talk about girls and bring pictures of female celebrities. I was clearly not interested. As time passed, people in my school started calling me “girl” as they claimed that I was feminine and hung out more with females than males. By the time I was in seventh grade, I had already been taken to multiple empty classrooms, made to show my genitals to prove that I was a “boy,” to touch other people’s genitals as a show of “male bonding” and on an occasion was almost forced to perform anal sex. I had to beg him to stop and force myself away. Growing up in Kuwait where sex is considered a taboo topic, the presence of a feminine boy spread quickly in my neighborhood. Soon, I had multiple men of various ages making sexual proposals to me. After years of being bullied for being feminine and in many ways internalizing the shame of being attracted to men, I felt that I was finally being “chased” by men. It started with rubbing of body parts. This was followed by my first unprotected anal encounter. As far as I remember, it was with a young man from my building in a secluded part of the staircase near the rooftop. After that incident, I started getting calls on our landline by random people who would mention this incident and that they would like to meet me. The first one or two calls were fine but then the fear of being discovered by my parents seeped in. I would secretly remove the

phone cord so that no call could come. That was just a Band-Aid and within a short period of time, I would have men pick me up in their cars to perform oral or anal sex with them. At times, I was excited but mostly I was scared and whenever I said no, they would physically force me or threaten to tell my parents what I have done. These encounters continued for many years until I went to university and could protect myself better. I grew up at a time when I had limited access to the Internet and people weren’t talking about LGBTQ issues. I was a young boy who couldn’t make sense of his sexual orientation. I wasn’t able to share my feelings with anyone, not even my parents. As time passed, my body and mind compartmentalized these memories and buried them somewhere to cope with the pain and the societal shame attached to it. Only in the last one or two years after reading the heartfelt narratives of thousands of sexual assault survivors around the world, was I able to go back to these memories and take therapy to heal them. It is important for queer people such as myself — particularly those who come from countries where these issues are still not spoken about — to share their stories. The power of these narratives can help young queer people who are still struggling to come to terms with their identities to realize that they are not alone and they are wanted and heard. If I had someone to guide me as a young person or a confidante, I might have been able to escape being abused or taken action against the abusers. It is a long path for me to heal but at least now I know it wasn’t my fault and there is no shame in acknowledging that I was abused growing up. As an adult now, I feel it is on us to see signs of sexual assault in young people and create a space where they would not be afraid or feel ashamed to report any such incidents.

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Meet D.C.’s Most Eligible LGBTSingles 20 locals on love, life and their biggest turn-ons By STAFF REPORTS This is the fifth annual Washington Blade Most Eligible LGBT Singles issue. It began with reader nominations. From that list of about 200, our staff chose the 20 most eligible with an eye for locals with interesting stories, those doing compelling work and yes, those who are easy on the eyes. Meet them in person Saturday, Feb. 9 at Avalon Saturdays (1420 K St., N.W.) at 10 p.m. Singles will be introduced at 11:15 p.m. Cover is $15 (21 and up). The Blade staff thanks its sponsors Avalon Saturdays D.C., Bite the Fruit and Absolut. Details at washingtonblade.com/singles.

Washington blade photo by Michael Key

Jo McDaniel

Photo by Ana Isabel; Courtesy of Mayson

Shane Mayson Age: 52 Occupation: Business development, JL Restaurant Group Identify as: He/him/his What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who can hold his own in social situations. Someone who has a great sense of humor and an optimistic outlook on life. Being romantic is super important to me. I’d like him to have a passion for what he does for a living. Someone who has compassion and gives back to the community. I want someone that has an active lifestyle and loves to travel. Biggest turn-off: Someone who doesn’t keep his word. And bad tippers. Biggest turn-on: Someone who is thoughtful and romantic. Hobbies: Love to travel. Sing with the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington. Describe your ideal first date: My ideal date would be to meet at a restaurant where we can talk and get to know each other. Pets, kids or neither? Pets Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No Celebrity crush: George Clooney One obscure fact about yourself: I was a drama major in college.

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Age: 37 Occupation: Bartender and manager of A League Of Her Own Identify as: Queer; she/her What are you looking for in a mate? At this point in my life, a great deal of flexibility and understanding is what I’m looking for. I have a ridiculous schedule and a lot going on, so if quality time is your love language, I’m likely not to be able to fill your needs. As a human goes, I’m looking for someone who is quick to laugh and slow to anger, someone who wants to seek joy everywhere, similar to me. I need someone who’s a cheerleader and can hang with how much I’m lucky enough to be doing. Biggest turn-off: Malicious intent. If your intention is to harm, in anything you do, I’m just not interested. Also, an ugly tone will undo any attraction I’m feeling. Words of affirmation is my top love language, so if you’re capable of being ugly with words, particularly toward me, I struggle to come back from that. Biggest turn-on: Abject kindness. Sweetness in nature goes a long way, with me. A balance of a bold nature and seeking consent is pretty hot — too shy can feel like mixed messages, and I don’t really have time for that. “Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid.” (Basil King) Hobbies: My entire life, I’ve been addicted to the written word. Any chance I get to settle into a book is one I’m going to take. Other than the one I run, my favorite bar is my backyard, hanging out with friends and my pup. All the better if I’ve got a fire going. Describe your ideal first date: Because of the schedule I keep, I’m not generally up/available for Friday night dinners. A cup of coffee and a sunrise at Gravelly Point. A good museum in the middle of the week. Hell, be my gym buddy and let’s get lunch, after. I’m super easy, this way. Maybe I don’t know how to date. Pets, kids or neither? Well, I’ve got both. Ava’s my blonde teenaged mini-me and Bentley’s my brindle pittie rescue. Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No, that’s a hard stop for me. There are enough people surrounding my life who are out to harm my community. I can’t add that to my romantic life. Celebrity crush: I’ve wanted to take Chili from TLC out on a date since probably high school. It’s more cerebral than anything, but I really want to hang out with Michelle Obama and let her talk to me. One obscure fact about yourself: I’m obscure on so many levels! I was head cheerleader — that surprises most people. My mom drew my first tattoo as a reward for getting straight As in high school. There are more McDaniel girls; I’m the oldest of four sisters. I started going by Jo professionally because Jordan was too hard to hear over the din of Apex when I first started bartending.

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Washington blade photo by Michael Key

Alex Morash

Age: 34 Occupation: Writer Identify as: Gay What are you looking for in a mate? A partner in crime. A fun loving trouble maker. I like to press buttons and force people to think and am drawn to guys looking to do the same. Biggest turn-off: Blandness Biggest turn-on: A guy who has something to say. Hobbies: Does hanging out at gay bars with friends count as a hobby? Well if not, I also enjoy video games, photography and running. Describe your ideal first date: An ideal first date would start with a cocktail or coffee before a visit to an art gallery or museum or maybe even a live show. Followed by a relaxing dinner where we talk into the night. Pets, kids or neither? My baby cousins seem to like me, so I guess I could raise a child or two. But, it’s not a must for me. Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? I enjoy a good debate, so in theory, yes. But if a guy’s views parrot some of the bigotry I see in our nation’s political discourse, then he wouldn’t be the guy for me. Celebrity crush: Neil Patrick Harris One obscure fact about yourself: A lot of guys see me as this unapproachable, loud personality, but I’m actually a lot more low key one on one with close friends.

Kelly Moses

Age: 29 Occupation: Sales at a software startup Identify as: Gay What are you looking for in a mate? A partner in every sense of the word. Someone who is always open to new things. Family oriented. Understanding and confident is a must. Work has me on the road pretty frequently and it takes a special type of person to deal with my schedule sometimes. Biggest turn-off: Insecurity, phone/social media addiction Biggest turn-on: Confidence, intelligence, genuine, and self-aware with a great smile. A huge plus if they can handle my large, extroverted extended family. Hobbies: Working out, traveling, skiing, college football (Go Clemson!), golf, long weekends in the Outer Banks. Describe your ideal first date: Keep it simple. Grab drinks at a bar where we can actually hear each other talk. Pets, kids or neither? I have a dog now and we are a package deal. Definitely want kids with the right person. Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? I think so. I consider myself pretty moderate. Celebrity crush: Natalie Portman, Anna Kendrick One obscure fact about yourself: I love all things related to aviation. Chances are I can tell you what type of plane is in the sky. One day when I have the time I’ll get my private pilot license. Oh and I am a Type 1 Diabetic.

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Washington blade photo by Michael Key

Meagan Simonaire

Age: 28 Occupation: Cosmetic tattoo artist at DOLLISTIC Identify as: Queer What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who awakens my soul and makes my heart smile. Biggest turn-off: Jealousy, insecurity and possessiveness. Biggest turn-on: Confidence. Someone who is living their best life independently. Hobbies: Is wine a hobby? Also, travel, dance, cooking, art and pretending I’m a comedian. Describe your ideal first date: Surprise me! (But tell me what to wear.) Pets, kids or neither? I don’t currently have either, but I’ve always dreamed about being a mommy. Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Absolutely not. My experience as an elected official allowed me to see first hand how impactful political views are. Celebrity crush: Ruby Rose One obscure fact about yourself: I was the youngest Maryland State Delegate from 2014-2018 and successfully aided the ending of conversion therapy by publicly sharing my personal story.

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Washington blade photo by Michael Key

Laura Napoliello

Age: 28 Occupation: Accidentally killing air-plants. Identify as: Millennial dumpster fire What are you looking for in a mate? I’m honestly just out here trying to exist. Biggest turn-off: Jogs in place at red lights while on a run Biggest turn-on: Doesn’t believe that drinking more water solves all of your problems Hobbies: Marie Kondo-ing other people’s tchotchkes. Describe your ideal first date: We rent a U-Haul. You help me move. Pets, kids or neither? Committing to working out once a week is all I got right now. Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? In this political climate? Celebrity crush: Fiji water girl (she’s 31 don’t worry). One obscure fact about yourself: I think I’ve shared enough.

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Washington blade photo by Michael Key

Austin Auger

Khorey Baker

Age: 28 Occupation: Mortgage loan consultant Identify as: Gay What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who’s equally happy spending the night on the sofa with the Dominos Pizza Tracker as they are bouncing between Trade and Number 9. They have to be able to make me laugh and know how to make French toast. Biggest turn-off: Arrogance, smoking Biggest turn-on: Confidence, goal oriented and a large vocabulary. Also, a beard doesn’t hurt. Hobbies: SweatBox, 801 Sunday Brunch and buying my nieces the loudest toys I can find. Describe your ideal first date: I don’t have one ideal first, but rather I think a great first date where the both of us are doing something that we share an interest in. Pets, kids or neither? Need dogs. Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Everyone is raised from a different background and there are opportunities to learn from those who differ from yours. As long as we can have a conversation and respect each other’s thoughts I’m open to it. Celebrity crush: Sam Hunt One obscure fact about yourself: I can turn my feet backwards.

Age: 34 Occupation: Higher education administrator Identify as: Black/gay/male What are you looking for in a mate? Common sense is not as common as it used to be, so some of that would be great. Someone who is naturally joyful and cares deeply for his friends and family. A love of ’90s R&B music is also a huge bonus. Biggest turn-off Smoking and racism (not in that order) Biggest turn-on: Authenticity, sense of humor and spirituality Hobbies: Traveling, concerts, kickball, exploring new places in D.C. Describe your ideal first date: Something low key and casual with music, free flowing conversation and a meal. Pets, kids or neither? Maybe Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? In the words of the incomparable Randy Jackson, “It’s a no for me dawg!” Celebrity crush: Senator Kamala Harris and Nyle DiMarco One obscure fact about yourself: Take me on a date and find out!

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Washington blade photo by Michael Key

Washington blade photo by Wyatt Reid Westlund

Jocko Fajardo Age: 41 Occupation: Lifestyle and entertaining consultant Identify as: Male; he, him, his What are you looking for in a mate? Curiosity, adventure and a sense of self Biggest turn-off: Bad hygiene Biggest turn-on: Thoughtfulness Hobbies: Cooking, singing, calligraphy, paper-crafting, painting Describe your ideal first date: A picnic indoor or outdoor Pets, kids or neither? Either, provided mutual support Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Yes Celebrity crush: Josh Duhamel One obscure fact about yourself: I am a certified massage therapist

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Sarah Biglan Age: 38 Occupation: Private chef/owner District Elite Identify as: Lesbian (she/her) What are you looking for in a mate? A person who is honest, independent, confident and emotionally available. We make each other better and laugh a lot at jokes that only we get. Biggest turn-off: Games, attention seeking and flakiness. Biggest turn-on: Warm eyes, big smile and lipstick. Enjoys sandwiches as much as I do. Vulnerability. Hobbies: Food research, the gym and taking bubble baths. Describe your ideal first date: We go somewhere and have a really hard time ending the conversation. The result being a second date. Pets, kids or neither? Cats: definitely; dogs: they’re cool; kids: maybe Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? They need to align for the most part, but I respect differing views as long as they are reasonable. Celebrity crush: Tied: Halsey and DJ Kittens One obscure fact about yourself: I learned how to juggle from a circus clown. I’m not too bad either.

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Washington blade photo by Michael Key

James Barnett

Jared Godes

Age: 29 Occupation: [solidcore] coach & VP acquisitions at CB Development Identify as: Gay What are you looking for in a mate? A life partner who is an avid traveler, gym junkie, confident, supportive, hilarious, hard worker, go getter, communicative, dancing queen, dabbles in drag, can cook and can equally enjoy a wild night out staying up till the sun rises or staying in and watching a movie. Biggest turn-off: Bad smells (b.o. and cigarettes), ambiguity and, stage-five clingers. Biggest turn-on: Ambition, a cute face, competitiveness and when guys take my class at [solidcore] and can keep up with me (or better yet beat me) in a workout. Hobbies: Going to the beach, throwing dinner parties and cooking, traveling, rosé — have I mentioned fitness and working out yet? Describe your ideal first date: Everyone knows you can only agree to casual drinks or coffee for first dates because you may potentially be meeting a psychopath and need to get out. If it’s going well, drinks turn into dinner, which then turns into more drinks to lead to a fun night, which is ideal. My ideal second date is dinner plus an activity (a show, concert, sporting event, workout). Something we can experience together and talk about how we felt about it and get to know each other better. Pets, kids or neither? Both — kids and pets but no cats. I’m allergic to cats and also they’re cats. Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No. I left a date once because this guy was bashing HRC and Venmo’d him money for the bill and only regret giving him any money. Celebrity crush: Adam Rippon, Darren Criss, Michael B. Jordan, Zac Efron, and of course Ariana Grande. One obscure fact about yourself: I was a diver in college.

Age: 24 Occupation: Box office manager Identify as: Gay What are you looking for in a mate? Looking for someone who can reciprocate energy; professionally, personally, physically. Someone to be my biggest fan! And vice versa — pushing me to jump at opportunity, imagine and execute. Biggest turn-off: Dirty dishes. Biggest turn-on: Someone who can order for me at restaurants. Hobbies: Anything that involves Chief (dog). Runs, outdoors, long drives, farmers markets. Describe your ideal first date: Something active or creative (e.g. pottery making, paint night, rock climbing). Finished off with food (your recommendations) and walking Chief. Pets, kids or neither? Pet: Chief. Genus: Canis. Species: Dachshund. Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Sure! Celebrity crush: Anderson Cooper and Ryan Gosling. One obscure fact about yourself: I grew up competing in rodeo, roping only.

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Washington blade photo by Michael Key

Tarik S. Pierce

Monika M. Pickett

Age: 40 Occupation: Training and development director Identify as: Gay What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who can make me laugh, is a friend and confidant, is smart and doesn’t take himself too seriously. Oh and he has to be his own person and happy in his own right. A complete person. Biggest turn-off: Insecurity Biggest turn-on: Knowing who and what you are. Hobbies: Traveling, Stonewall (& Rogue) Sports, running, working out, my friends (believe me they are an activity in and of themselves), theater and brunch. Describe your ideal first date: An activity. Something other than dinner or drinks. Whether we’re bowling, playing darts, walking through the memorials. Something other than sitting across from each other inorganically coming up with things to talk about. An activity makes for a loose environment and, if you want to get closer, there’s not a table between you. Pets, kids or neither? Ha, this one is on him. I’m not opposed to either, but I am not doing it alone. Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? I have and would, as long as he was able to have an intelligent conversation about his views. Maybe I can learn a different point of view and, in the process, learn more about him. Celebrity crush: Celine Dion One obscure fact about yourself: I think most people who know me would be surprised to know that I love my alone time.

Age: 51 Occupation: Author Identify as: “The Lesbian” What are you looking for in a mate? I am looking for a partner who is courageous enough to adore me publicly and privately, someone who is kind and as beautiful on the inside as the outside. I’m attracted to feminine women. Biggest turn-off: Pretentiousness, lack of compassion, dishonesty Biggest turn-on: Confidence, self-awareness, laughter, kindness Hobbies: Working out, Finding quaint consignment shops, watching foreign/indie films, care-free day trips to new places. Describe your ideal first date: Lunch or dinner at a waterfront restaurant, laughing as we vibe on our mutual attraction. Pets, kids or neither? Not much of a pet person. I love kids. I have an adult son, an amazing daughter-in-law and two beautiful grandchildren. Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Definitely, as long as their views aren’t aligned with classism, oppression and inequality. Celebrity crush: Ava DuVernay; Cate Blanchett One obscure fact about yourself: From a very young age, I challenged assumptions on what a lesbian “looks” like. I look like a girl on the outside but I am one chromosome from being my mother’s second son on the inside.

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Molly Byrom

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Age: 27 Occupation: Social worker Identify as: Queer What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who has a close relationship with Jesus. Someone who is a fiercely loyal friend. Someone who will keep me on my toes while also making me feel one hundred percent safe. Biggest turn-off: Inauthenticity and flakiness. Biggest turn-on: When someone is secure in who they are. Hobbies: Cooking, photography, serving in the church, reading and yard work. I stay busy, I have many more. Describe your ideal first date: I enjoy any combination of food or drinks and exploring. I would love a picnic at the Tidal Basin, where I bring homemade food. We can people watch together and walk around. Pets, kids or neither? Yes to dogs and kids. Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Yes, if the differences are within reason and the person is understanding and respectful of my views. Celebrity crush: None, I’m not actually that interested in celebrities. One obscure fact about yourself: This is it. I created a public dating profile.

Washington blade photo by Michael Key

Emma Chadband

Age: 29 Occupation: Graphic designer for the United Nations Foundation Identify as: Lesbian What are you looking for in a mate? Hopefully a Hufflepuff. Someone who wants to talk through the intricacies of Ariana Grande vs Carly Rae Jepsen. Someone interested in radical friendships and community building. Someone who’s just as passionate about exploring this world as I am. Biggest turn-off: Being too quick to judge. A lack of empathy. Too big an ego. I like to laugh at myself so I hope you will, too. Biggest turn-on: Kindness. Sounds lame, but I love people who love people. Hobbies: I’m kind of a hobby queen. I’m currently learning how to play the piano. I also love pole dancing and DIY projects of any kind. If you have a denim jacket, I can embroider a custom patch for you. I also just backpacked through Europe for three months with my best friend, and planning a trip I might never even take might be my favorite way to whittle away a slow afternoon. Describe your ideal first date: Wine, cheese, lots of laughter. Pets, kids or neither? I have one cat, Potato, who is my only roommate but he really runs the house. Yes to puppies and yes to kids! Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Yes. We can argue over whether or not D.C.’s straw ban is really relevant or making a difference. But if our views differ on things beyond straw policy — like Trump, travel bans, the general awfulness of this administration, it probably won’t work out. Celebrity crush: Miley Cyrus, but I’m sufficiently embarrassed about it. One obscure fact about yourself: I run the Bud Light Lime instagram, @budlightlimeofficial

Washington blade photo by Michael Key

Thomas Hudson

Age: 24 Occupation: LGBTQ policy associate Identify as: Queer What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who’s goal oriented with a nice sense of humor. Someone who enjoys arts, exploring nature, bottomless brunch and social justice. Someone willing to work through our imperfections together. Biggest turn-off: Lack of communication and dishonesty Biggest turn-on: Intelligence, humor and goals Hobbies: Exploring museums, nature walks, bottomless brunches, social justice lectures, dancing and singing. Describe your ideal first date: Perfect first date would be dinner or brunch, a museum tour and walking the monuments at night while having a long meaningful conversation. Pets, kids or neither? I love cats and dogs. I would love to have children. I definitely plan to foster and adopt in due time. Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Yes and no. I value a difference of opinion and can respect someone with opposing views. However, when those views work to uphold the various forms of systemic oppression, I have to draw the line. I will not compromise my values, beliefs or identity for someone else’s comfort. Celebrity crush: Kofi Siriboe One obscure fact about yourself: I have a really flexible back.

Washington blade photo by Michael Key

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Laurel Powell Age: 30 Occupation: Digital campaigns manager Identify as: Queer transgender woman What are you looking for in a mate? Someone whose life is full with drive and ambition and passion and isn’t afraid of communicating their thoughts and wants and desires in a healthy way. In short, let’s be a power couple. Biggest turn-off: Indecisiveness, probably followed by treating wait staff poorly or being a bad tipper. Biggest turn-on: Confidence, intelligence and humor. Bonus points if you can cook a good breakfast (I’ll make dinner). Hobbies: I’m a voracious reader and an avid PC gamer. Describe your ideal first date: Dinner and drinks! Keep it simple and allow plenty of time to talk and get to know each other. Pets, kids or neither? Same answer to both — I don’t have any currently, but am open to the possibility with the right person in the right situation. Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? To a point. I don’t expect someone to feel the exact same way as me, but I won’t compromise on certain issues. Trump voters (and non-voters) need not apply. Celebrity crush: Hayley Kiyoko One obscure fact about yourself: I adore trains and my favorite vacation that I’ve ever taken was a solo cross-country train trip from D.C. to Seattle.

Washington blade photo by Michael Key

Michael Suh

Age: 31 Occupation: Project manager Identify as: Gay What are you looking for in a mate? Someone who is open, honest, caring and thoughtful. Comfortable in his own skin and isn’t afraid to be himself with his friends, family and others. Has a good, smart sense of humor. I’m looking for a partner in life, so definitely someone who is also looking for commitment. Nerdy helps, too! Biggest turn-off: Bigotry Biggest turn-on: Romance, wit and a good cuddler with some scruff. Hobbies: Musical performance, museums, video games, board games, trying new foods, movies, cosplay Describe your ideal first date: Sharing stories over dinner at a new place neither of us have tried before (so we can both complain about it if we hate it), followed by a walk to get dessert and talking and laughing. We’d kiss and part ways, but continue via text at home until one of us (probably me) falls asleep. Pets, kids or neither? Neither, though pets (dog) if I had to pick Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Absolutely not Celebrity crush: Dan Levy One obscure fact about yourself: I did Army JROTC in high school. My hair was much shorter then!

Washington blade photo by Michael Key Washington blade photo by Michael Key

Mundy Spears

Age: Legal Occupation: Composer, vocalist, teacher and performance artist Identify as: Non-binary, queer. they/them What are you looking for in a mate? An honest, kind, fun-loving partner in crime. Openminded excitement for life. A patient person who loves art, music and nature. Passionate and considerate with a strong sense of purpose. A switch. Biggest turn-off: Game playing/dishonesty. Be real. Biggest turn-on: Kindness Hobbies: Dancing in the garden, making things grow. Butterflies. Hiking with my dog and cuddling with my cat. Treasure hunting (I have a vintage clothing line). Word nerd. Describe your ideal first date: Yummy food and a show of any kind. Drinks after to talk through the thoughts the show inspired. Or we just go dance it out. Pets, kids or neither? Babies with and without fur. Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No Celebrity crush: Rosario Dawson One obscure fact about yourself: When I was 13, I lived in an eco-village in Findhorn, Scotland. Washington blade photo by Michael Key

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D.C.’s first most eligible single looks back Michelle Raymond lost love but found herself in lesbian adventures By MICHELLE RAYMOND

Danceboutique awaiting the announcement of who was going to take home the title of D.C.’s Most Eligible Single. I came to the event solo, because that same group of encouraging friends also thought there was no chance I would win and told me to call them afterwards to meet up for a drink. Little did we all know, I took home the top prize that night, winning the title and a plethora of sponsorship prizes ranging from free dinners and box seats at sporting events to movie screening tickets. I never ended up meeting my friends that night, because as soon as I jumped off stage, I was attacked by a swarm of lesbian bumble bees. For the first time, in a long time, I felt alive again. I was in love with the newfound attention (yes, I am a Leo). I had my first date that night and thus, began a whirlwind of a dating spree that would eventually have me packing my bags and moving to Madrid, Spain.

MICHELLE RAYMOND performs as Michi. Photo courtesy Raymond

D.C.’s most eligible single In 2015, I was named one of Washington Blade’s first most eligible singles — an honor that has taken me on around 300 dates and half-way around the globe in search of love. But before we jump into this little Yelp-Review-worthy plot twist of a story, a little background: I was first nominated for the D.C.’s Most Eligible Single’s contest by a group of close friends following a string of failed relationships. You know the typical lesbian drama — girlfriend leaves you for your best friend, the new rebound girlfriend isn’t out to her parents yet, stress eating myself into gaining 40 pounds and finally breaking up because, “This isn’t really working out for me …” Like I said, the usual. But for some reason, that last breakup really hit me hard and I was feeling down on myself. My friends, the sarcastic assholes that they are, decided I needed a little pick me up and nominated me for the Washington Blade contest saying, “Well if you’re going to be single, might as well be the most eligible,” and so, the story begins. Valentine’s Day 2015 Flash forward to the night of February 14, 2015. After a series of interviews and photoshoots, the 20 Most Eligible Single finalists stood on stage at Town

The art of the first date Between Feb. 14 and the end of May, I had mastered the art of the first date and was ready to throw in the towel until I matched with a beautiful Spanish girl on Tinder (Dios Mio). To this day, I can’t really explain why, but she was different. We spoke for over a month before we met, using Google Translate in most cases due to the language barrier. Our first date was at El Centro on 14th Street and she brought her best friend along to help translate. In the end, the language barrier wasn’t so much of a problem. We knew the basics of Spanish and English and spent the whole night dancing and laughing. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on her I wanted to see her again. We started meeting up more and more and ultimately, I fell in love. A few months later, she was fired from her au pair job and had to return to Spain. We tried long distance for a few months but the time difference (six hours) and jealously issues became a huge problem. Eventually, she gave me an ultimatum: move to Spain or cut it off. I searched for ways to make this happen and eventually found and applied for a oneyear MBA program in Madrid that would land me in Spain before the end of the year. I quit my job in wealth management, abandoned my music career, sold my car and all my possessions, packed my bags, and against the advice from all of my friends telling me I was a moron and “we hate her,” I hopped on a flight to Spain. I was so excited. A new life, a new adventure, the girl I loved — Que romantico. We broke up on the first night I can’t make this up, I arrived to a foreign city I had never been to before, dropped my bags at my apartment, she picked me up, we went to the lesbian bar to dance, celebrate and meet all of her friends — and the

bombshell that she had gotten back together with her ex-girlfriend about a month before I had arrived was dropped on me before I could even order my second gin and tonic. I couldn’t believe it. I had just up and picked up my entire life to move half-way around the world and we broke up within hours of me arriving. I was too proud to tell my friends they were right about her all along, so I spent the next two weeks locked away in my room eating helado, crying and wondering, “What have I done?!” The turning point It took quite a while for me to pull myself out of bed but when I did, I decided, “I’m here for one year, let’s make the best of it,” and I turned on my phone to discover what Spanish Tinder was all about. Let. Me. Tell. You. The lesbian scene in Madrid is out of this world. These women are goddesses. Tall, beautiful, olive skin, incredible dancers, carefree, extremely open and most of all, fun. The first date I went on ended up turning into a wonderful yearlong relationship. She is now my nutritionist and we are still best friends to this day. I lost that 40 pounds of depression weight, and then some, and found a new energy to life. I went on many dates during my three years abroad, had several relationships (a few long-term but mostly short stories), but most importantly, I found myself again. I can honestly say, the last three years in Spain were the most transformative, incredible moments, I have ever experienced. Gaylor Swift As a musician, I’ve written many songs about my dating experiences, (I’m one break-up song away from becoming Gaylor Swift), but the last one I wrote, “Roses,” landed me in the top-90 out of 16,000 for the 2019 season of “The Voice, Spain.” Life is all about those small moments that add up to big experiences. I want to thank my asshole friends, the Washington Blade, the Spanish girl, the exlovers and the many wonderful moments that lead me on this once-in-a-lifetime quest for adventure and love. After three years traveling and touring in Europe, I’m stateside again and am excited to see what this new chapter will bring. So for all of you singles out there who are wondering if you should take that big leap of faith, my advice is to go for it. Life is too short to sit back and wonder what if. And whether it works out or not isn’t the point. What matters is that you learn to love yourself before anyone else. Listen to your heart, fasten your seatbelt and return your tray table to its full upright and locked position, and enjoy the ride. PS: Happy Valentine’s Day. Ladies, call me ;) Michelle Raymond performs as Michi. Find her on Instagram at michimusic_official.

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This Week in the Arts provided by CultureCapital.com

The Origin of Love. Feb 8. National Theatre. thenationaldc.org. Twelve Angry Men. Thru Feb 17. Ford’s Theatre. fords.org.

DANCE Ain’t Misbehavin’: The Fats Waller Musical Show Thru Mar 10. Signature Theatre. sigtheatre.org.

Step into Harlem for a swinging, dancing celebration of big band and the songs of Thomas “Fats” Waller. This sultry Tony Award®-winning musical tribute features all of Waller’s beloved tunes including “The Joint is Jumpin’,” “Honeysuckle Rose,” “Handful of Keys” and more. A cast of Signature favorites including Nova Y. Payton (Jelly’s Last Jam), Kevin McAllister (Titanic) and Iyona Blake (Titanic) strut the stage while Jelly’s Last Jam’s Mark G. Meadows tickles the ivories.

The Food of Love Feb 8-Feb 9. Folger Consort at Washington National Cathedral. folger.edu.

As a prelude to Valentine’s Day, Folger Consort offers a magnificent buffet of romance and poetry with chansons and madrigals on food, drink, and passionate love by French and Italian Renaissance composers such as Janequin and Marenzio. Complementing the song is enchanting “table music” for strings, including selections from Schein’s Banchetto Musicale (Musical Banquet), composed as dinner music for the sophisticated courts of Germany.

Cinema J Present: Freedom to Marry Feb 13. Bender JCC. benderjccgw.org.

The Freedom To Marry follows the United States’ LGBTQ community’s fight for marriage equality in a nail-biting, untold story of how same-sex marriage became law of the land. This documentary follows Evan Wolfson, the architect of the movement, civil rights attorney Mary Bonauto and their key colleagues on this decades-long battle, culminating in a dramatic fight at the United States Supreme Court. “Suspenseful and thoroughly moving and inspiring.” – The Boston Globe

Secrets & Illusions - Master Illusionist Ivan Amodei Feb 14. GW Lisner Auditorium. secretsandillusions.com.

Join master illusionist Ivan Amodei on an epic journey to discover the secrets of life in his brand new stage show Secrets & Illusions. Boston Globe boasts ”Magic with a Message.” It’s a 90-minute spectacular show which displays Ivan’s signature style of thought-provoking vignettes, audience participation, and storytelling. Paired with his remarkable approach to illusion, it will ultimately inspire, encourage and motivate you to discover your purpose and your destiny. Photo Courtesy of Signature Theatre

THEATRE Admissions. Thru Feb 17. Studio Theatre. studiotheatre.org. Broadway Center Stage: The Music Man. Thru Feb 11. World Stages: NeoArctic. Feb 13-Feb 16. Kennedy Center. kennedycenter.org. Heure du Conte. Feb 9. Alliance Française. francedc.org. Neil Simon’s Plaza Suite. Feb 8-Feb 24. Arts on the Green at Arts Barn. gaithersburgmd.gov. Once. Thru Mar 10. Olney Theatre. olneytheatre.org.

Visions of Love. Thru Feb 9. Pointless Theatre at Dance Loft. pointlesstheatre.com. Nell Gwynn. Thru Mar 10. Folger Theatre. folger.edu. Scripts in Play Free Reading: Antigone. Feb 8. Tragedy Averted. Feb 9. Hercules In Russia. Feb 10. Hey Darcy! A Bromantic Comedy. Feb 14. Avant Bard at Gunston. wscavantbard.org. Shame (With Comments from the Populace). Thru Feb 17. Mosaic Theater Company at Atlas. mosaictheater.org. Shear Madness. Thru Jun 19. Kennedy Center. shearmadness.com. The Baltimore Waltz. Thru Feb 9. Keegan Theatre. keegantheatre.com.

Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater. Thru Feb 10. National Ballet of China: Raise the Red Lantern. Feb 13-Feb 16. Kennedy Center. kennedy-center.org. Havana Cuba All-Stars. Feb 9. Mason’s Center for the Arts. cfa.gmu.edu. Zvi Dance. Feb 9-Feb 10. Dance Place. danceplace.org.

MUSIC 1964 The Tribute. Feb 14-Feb 15. A Cappella Pop. Feb 10. Anderson House. societyofthecincinnati.org. Second Thursday Dance. Feb 14. Washington Revels. Veterans Plaza. revelsdc.org. SO Percussion The Keyboard Reimagined. Feb 10. National Gallery of Art. nga.gov. Enter the Haggis. Feb 9. Veronneau. Feb 14. AMP. ampbystrathmore.com. From U Street to Lenox Avenue. Feb 10. Signature Theatre at Busboys & Poets in Shirlington. sigtheatre.org. Ladysmith Black Mambazo. Feb 8. Strathmore. strathmore.org. Leon Fleisher & Friends. Feb 9. Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra. Feb 13. Washington Performing Arts at Kennedy Center. washingtonperformingarts.org. Polonsky-Shifrin-Wiley Trio. Feb 10-Feb 11. Dumbarton Oaks. doaks.org. The Romantics. Feb 9. National Chamber Ensemble. Gunston Arts Center. nationalchamberensemble.org. NSO: Brahms, Schumann & Liszt. Thru Feb 9. NSO: Noseda conducts Berlioz’s Romeo & Juliet. Feb 14-Feb 16. Renée Fleming VOICES: Nellie McKay. Feb 8. Kennedy Center. kennedy-center.org. Schumann & Brahms Concert. Feb 14. Arts on the Green at Arts Barn. gaithersburgmd.gov. Street Scenes: Sam Prather. Feb 14. Hill Center. hillcenterdc.org. Trey McLaughlin & The Sounds of Zamar. Feb 8. Mason’s Center for the Arts. cfa.gmu.edu. What Makes It Great? with Rob Kapilow. Feb 10. Washington Performing Arts at Baird Auditorium. washingtonperformingarts.org.

MUSEUMS AU Museum at the Katzen. Jiří Kolář (1912-2002): Forms of Visual Poetry - From the Collection of Museum Kampa, Prague. Thru Mar 17. american.edu.

Anderson House. A Revolution in Arms: Weapons in the War for Independence. Thru Mar 24. societyofthecincinnati.org. Dumbarton Oaks. Juggling the Middle Ages. Thru Feb 28. doaks.org. Folger Shakespeare Library. First Chefs: Fame and Foodways from Britain to the Americas. Thru Mar 31. folger.edu. Library of Congress. Baseball Americana. Thru Jun 29. loc.gov. National Gallery of Art. Gordon Parks: The New Tide, 1940-1950. Thru Feb 18. nga.gov. National Museum of Women in the Arts. Rodarte. Thru Feb 10. Ambreen Butt—Mark My Words. Thru Apr 14. nmwa.org. Smithsonian Anacostia Museum. A Right to the City. Thru Apr 20. anacostia.si.edu. Smithsonian Museum of the American Indian. The Great Inka Road: Engineering an Empire. Thru Jun 1. americanindian.si.edu. National Portrait Gallery, Smithsonian. Black Out: Silhouettes Then and Now. Thru Mar 10. npg.si.edu. Postal Museum. Alexander Hamilton: Soldier, Secretary, Icon. Thru Mar 3. postalmuseum.si.edu.

GALLERIES Brentwood Arts Exchange. Live Sculpture Now 2019. Thru Mar 9. arts.pgparks.com. DC Arts Center. lineation. Thru Feb 17. dcartscenter.org. Del Ray Artisans. New Beginnings Art Exhibit. Thru Feb 24. delrayartisans.org. District Architecture Center. Transforming Cities, Transforming Lives: The Aga Khan Historic Cities Programme. Thru Mar 29. aiadac.com. Gallery Clarendon. Places Real and Imagined Art Exhibit. Thru Feb 28. arlingtonartistsalliance.org. gallery neptune & brown. Jowita Wyszomirska: The Distance Of Blue. Thru Mar 9. galleryneptunebrown.com. Gallery Underground. Shades of Red Art Exhibit. Thru Feb 22. arlingtonartistsalliance.org. Glen Echo Park. Out of the Woods: Julia Purinton. Thru Feb 24. glenechopark.org. Hill Center. Hill Center Galleries Regional Juried Exhibition. Thru Mar 2. hillcenterdc.org. JCCNV. Listen to Her. Thru Feb 21. jccnv.org. Korean Cultural Center DC. Tradition Transformed: Bojagi, the Traditional Korean Wrapping Cloth. Thru Feb 22. koreaculturedc.org. Takoma Park Community Center. The Beauty of Decay Art Exhibition. Thru Mar 6. takomaparkmd.gov. Waverly Street Gallery. Waverly Street Gallery Invitational Exhibition. Thru Mar 2. waverlystreetgallery.com. Zenith Gallery. Love in all Mediums. Feb 8-Mar 23. zenithgallery.com. Zenith Sculpture Space. Women who Work, Care, and Create. Thru Apr 13. zenithgallery.com.

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QUEERY Jill Stokes Photos courtesy of Stokes

QUEERY: Jill Stokes The CAMP Rehoboth Chorus singer answers 20 gay questions By JOEY DIGUGLIELMO JOEYD@WASHBLADE.COM Jill Stokes is a charter member of the CAMP Rehoboth Chorus. She helped launch it 10 years ago when the Clearspace Chorus disbanded. “When CAMP decided to start a chorus, I was thrilled,” the 72-year-old Brooklyn native says. The chorus celebrates its 10-year anniversary next weekend with “Seasons of Love: Celebrating a Decade of Song” Feb. 15-16 at 7 p.m. and Feb. 17 at 3 p.m. at Epworth United Methodist Church (19285 Road 271) in Rehoboth Beach, Del. Selections will include a Beatles medley, an Armed Forces salute, rock, spirituals, Broadway and more. The 90-member, mostly LGBT chorus (there are a few allies as well) is directed

by Doug Yetter with David Zipse on piano. Several others play more instruments. Tickets are $25 at camprehoboth.com. Stokes did not grow up singing but discovered the hobby after retiring in 2002 after teaching for 34 years at Parsippany High School. She sings tenor in the chorus and a medley of songs called “Come Fly With Me” is her favorite selection in the upcoming show. “I love all types of music,” she says. “I like that it can evoke different emotions in me.” Stokes moved to Lewes, Del., (near Rehoboth) in 2001 drawn by friends, the beach and the gay community. She lives there with partner Lois. Stokes enjoys golf, reading, volunteering and singing in her free time.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell? Early 20s. My mother.

On what do you insist? Honesty and integrity

Who’s your LGBT hero? Ellen DeGeneres

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet? The snow scene in my backyard.

What’s Rehoboth’s best nightspot, past or present? Blue Moon

If your life were a book, what would the title be? “Life is a Yo-Yo”

Describe your dream wedding. I already had it!

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do? Nothing. I’m happy with who I am and what I have become.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about? Animal rights/cruelty What historical outcome would you change? The 2016 presidential election What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime? The assassination of John Lennon.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? That there is something out there greater than me. What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders? Keep up the good fight. We still have lots to accomplish.

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“

I love wandering through Smithsonian museums, eating on H Street with friends, and going to shows at Howard Theatre.

I’m a transgender woman and I’m part of DC. Please treat me the way any woman would want to be treated: with courtesy and respect. Discrimination based on gender identity and expression is illegal in the District of Columbia. If you think you’ve been the target of discrimination, visit www.ohr.dc.gov or call (202) 727-4559.

OFFICE OF

GLBT AFFAIRS

What would you walk across hot coals for? To have been able to spend more years with my mother.

Show your support! Spread word of the #TransRespect campaign by photographing this ad and sharing on Twitter.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most? All lesbians are good athletes and effeminate men must be gay. What’s your favorite LGBT movie? “Priscilla Queen of the Desert” What’s the most overrated social custom? Tweeting What trophy or prize do you most covet? The respect of my peers. What do you wish you’d known at 18? That living openly as a gay woman was possible. Why Rehoboth? Friends, fun and community F EB R UARY 0 9 , 2 0 19 • WA SHINGTONBLA DE.COM • 45

PFLAG promotes the equality and well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered persons, their families and friends through: • Support to cope with an adverse society. • Education to enlighten an ill-informed public. • Advocacy to end discrimination and secure equal civil rights. Trained facilitators lead the Arlington Support Group and confidentiality is maintained. For further information about the Arlington Support Group, contact us at arl.pflag@gmail.com. Our groups meet on the second Sunday of each month, from 3 – 4:30pm at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Arlington, at George Mason Drive & Route 50. A.L.Y. is a group for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, and Questioning Youth and Allies in grades 7-12. Our goal is to give LGBTQ youth a safe place to gather. Trained facilitators lead the youth group. Confidentiality maintained. For more info, contact: aly.pflagdc@gmail.com. Our Washington DC Chapter of PFLAG may be reached at 202-638-3852.

Counterclockwise from top: BOMBALICIOUS EKLAVER Photo courtesy Ed Figueroa . Disney on Ice Photo courtesy MSL Group. JOHN CAMERON MITCHELL Photo by Matthew Placek.

Bombalicious launches new dance party Local drag performer Bombalicious Eklaver (aka Ed Figueroa) is launching a new party dubbed BLOWOUT. It launches Saturday, Feb. 9 at The Crown Baltimore (1910 N. Charles St., Baltimore) at 9 p.m.

A D.C. version launches Saturday, Feb. 16 in Washington at Songbyrd Music House (2475 18th St., N.W.). at 11 p.m. It’s billed as a “new dance party geared toward the LGBT community,” Eklaver says. It promises “electrifying music by top DJs; exciting, provocative, jaw-dropping performances from queer artists and an all-inclusive environment where selfexpression is celebrated and troubles are danced away.” Tickets are $7. Look for the events on Facebook for details.

Disney on Ice here Feb. 14-18 Disney on Ice presents “Worlds of Enchantment” at Capital One Arena (601 F St., N.W.) on Feb. 14-18. The show features openly gay skaters. Lightning McQueen, Mater and the crew of Disney Pixar Cars will race their way across the rink. Ariel and “The Little Mermaid” undersea kingdom, “Toy Story’s

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TODAY

Buzz Lightyear, Woody and Jesse, and Anna and Elsa from “Frozen” will also appear for new adventures on ice. Tickets range from $15-55. For more information, visit ticketmaster.com.

Robinson to preach Feb. 17 Bishop Gene Robinson leads service at St. Thomas’ Parish (1810 16th St., N.W.) on Sunday, Feb. 17 at 9:30 a.m. Robinson is former bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of New Hampshire. He became bishop-in-residence of St. Thomas’ Parish in 2013. He is the ﬁrst priest in a major Christian denomination who was in a gay relationship and consecrated a bishop. For details, visit facebook.com/ sthomasdc.

Tony-Award winner John Cameron Mitchell, co-creator of the hit musical “Hedwig & the Angry Inch,” presents “The Origin of Love: The Songs and Stories of Hedwig” at the National Theatre (1321 Pennsylvania Ave., N.W.) tonight at 8 p.m. Mitchell will perform songs from the musical and preview songs from his new musical “Anthem.” Tickets range from $5479. For more details, visit thenationaldc.org. Gamma D.C., a support group for men in mixed-orientation relationships, meets at Luther Place Memorial Church (1226 Vermont Ave., N.W.) tonight from 7:309:30 p.m. The group is for men who are attracted to men but are currently, or were at one point, in relationships with women. For more information about the group, visit gammaindc.org. Qrew: Werq, a queer women’s dance party, is at Union Stage (740 Water St., S.W.) tonight from 9 p.m.-2 a.m. Late night happy hour is from 9-10:30 p.m. The ﬁrst 65 21-and-over guests will receive a free drink ticket. DJ Tezrah will play music and Pretty Boi Drag will perform. There will also be giveaways. Tickets are $10. Attendees must be 18 or over. For more information, visit facebook.com/qrewdc. The D.C. Eagle (3701 Benning Rd., N.E.) presents Birds of Prey Drag Show, an 18-and-over event, tonight from 10 p.m.-3 a.m. Ba’Naka hosts the show. Brooklyn Heights, Iyana Deschanel, Sasha Adams Sanchez, Crystal Edge, Alicia Love and Bambi Nicole Ferrah will perform. Doors open at 10 p.m. and the show starts at 10:30 p.m. Tickets are $10. For more details, visit dceagle.com. The D.C. Eagle (3701 Benning Rd., N.E.) hosts Sashay, a weekly college dance party, tonight from midnight-3 a.m. DJ C Dubz will spin tracks. Sir and gay porn star Adam Ramzi will go-go dance all night. Attendees must be 18 to enter. Cover is $5 after the drag show. For more details, visit dceagle.com.

Saturday, Feb. 9 Scarlet’s Bake Sale is at the D.C. Eagle (3701 Benning Rd., N.E.) today from 11 a.m.8 p.m. The bake sale will beneﬁt Brother Help Thyself. Cocktails start at 3 p.m. and the live auction is at 4 p.m. Cake drop-off is from 1:30-3 p.m. For more details, visit facebook.com/scarlets.foundation. D.C. Rawhides takes over Ziegfelds/

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are $35 and include a buffet, entertainment and bottomless Bloody Marys or mimosas. For more details, visit baltimoreindigohotel. com/sunday-drag-brunch.

Secrets (1824 Half St., S.W.) tonight at 7 p.m. There will be a beginner two-step lesson on one ﬂoor and line dancing on another ﬂoor. Deejay Mein will play music. The lesson is from 7-8 p.m. and open dancing is from 8-10:50 p.m. Cover is $5 until 9 p.m. and then $10 after 9 p.m. For more information, visit facebook.com/ dcrawhides. Freddie’s Beach Bar (555 23rd St., S Arlington, Va.) hosts Freddie’s Follies Drag Show tonight at 8 p.m. A rotating cast of queens will perform. Showtime is 8 p.m. Karaoke starts at 10 p.m. Cover is $5. Reservations are highly recommended. For more details, visit freddiesbeachbar.com. Mim Entertainment and Jaywalking Productions hosts Vamp, a ladies dance party, at XX+ (1926 9th St., N.W.) tonight from 10 p.m.-2:30 a.m. DJ Mim and special guest DJs will spin tracks. Craft cocktails and small bites will be served. Tickets are $10. Reserved tables are $50. For more information, visit facebook.com/mimentdc. The D.C. Eagle (3701 Benning Rd., N.E.) hosts SirCuit: Vanity tonight from 10 p.m.-6 a.m. DJ Ryan DoubleYou will spin tracks all night. Gay porn star Adam Ramzi will dance all night. Online tickets are $10. Tickets at the door are $20. For more information, visit dceagle.com. Distrkt C celebrates its third anniversary at Karma D.C. (2221 Adams Pl., N.E.) tonight from 10 p.m.-6 a.m. DJ X Gonzalez and DJ Nacho Chapado will spin tracks. Tickets are $30. For more details, visit distrktc.com.

Logan’s Hardware (1723 14th St., N.W.) hosts Ladies’ Night tonight from 6-9 p.m. There will be hands-on-tool demonstrations, DIY activities, free food, beverages and giveaways. The ﬁrst 50 people will receive gift bags and other prizes and gift bags will be given away throughout the night. There will be DIY demos on basic caulking, best painting practices, best toilet repair, how to patch drywall and more. Guests can also shop 20 percent off the entire store. Admission is free. For more information, visit facebook.com/loganhardware.

Sunday, Feb. 10

Wednesday, Feb. 13

SMYAL for the New Year is at Franklin Hall (1348 Florida Ave., N.W.) today from 3-5 p.m. Ring in the new year with SMYAL’s Young Donors Committee, the SMYAL allies and members of the board and staff. The event will celebrate SMYAL’s successes of the past year and look forward at upcoming plans for 2019. Light hors d’oeuvres will be served. There is a suggested donation starting at $10. For more details, visit smyal.org. Nacho Mama’s (2 West Pennsylvania Ave., Towson, Md.) presents a new drag brunch today from 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Sabrina Sommers, Nubia Love-Jackson, Venus Starlight and KC Florence will perform. Tickets are $34 and include an all-youcat-eat buffet. For more information, visit facebook.com/nachomamastowson. Hotel Indigo (24 West Franklin St., Baltimore) hosts a Sunday Drag Brunch today from 12:30-3:30 p.m. Sue Nami and other drag performers will appear. Tickets

Big Gay Book Group meets at 1155 F St., N.W. tonight at 7 p.m. to discuss “No One Can Pronounce My Name” by Rakesh Satyal. Newcomers welcome. For more details, visit biggaybookgroup.com or email biggaybookgroup@hotmail.com. The Lambda Bridge Club meets at 7:30 p.m. at the Dignity Center (721 8th St., S.E.) for duplicate bridge. No reservations required and new comers welcome. If you need a partner, call 703-407-6540.

Monday, Feb. 11 Brother Help Thyself will screen “Tongues Untied,” in celebration of the film’s 30th anniversary at the Shaw Library (1630 7th St., N.W.) at 6 p.m. “Tongues Untied” was created by filmmaker Marlon Riggs and celebrates black men loving black men. Essex Hemphill, Wayson Jones, Ron Simmons and Christopher Prince are all featured in the film. For more details, visit brotherhelpthyself.net.

Tuesday, Feb. 12

Thursday, Feb. 14 Pretty Boi Drag hosts Open King Night at the Bier Baron Tavern and Comedy Loft (1523 22nd St., N.W.) tonight at 8 p.m. Both amateur and seasoned kings are invited to perform. Admission is $10 in advance and $15 at the door. For more details, visit facebook.com/prettyboidrag.

Filmmaking legend JOHN WATERS performs in his native Baltimore on Valentine’s Day. Photo courtesy Admire Entertainment

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

(film with live orchestra) National Symphony Orchestra Steven Reineke, conductor

Music by John Williams Don’t miss the ultimate fan event! Experience the Oscar®winning film on the big screen while the NSO performs John Williams’s iconic score live.

February 21–23 | Concert Hall

Kennedy-Center.org (202) 467-4600 David M. Rubenstein is the Presenting Underwriter of the NSO. AARP is the Presenting Sponsor of the NSO Pops Season.

Groups call (202) 416-8400 For all other ticket-related customer service inquiries, call the Advance Sales Box Office at (202) 416-8540

Undies,benefits, laughs and more

Solo or with your honey, there’s plenty to do leading up to Valentine’s Day By MARIAH COOPER

Cupid’s Undie Run is Saturday, Feb. 9 kicking off at Penn Social (801 E St., N.W.) at noon. Run a mile in your underwear to help find a cure for neurofibromatosis. Afterwards, there will be a party at Penn Social. Tickets are $45 in advance and $50 at the door. For more details, visit cupids.org. Dupont Social Club and 18th and U Duplex Diner (2004 18th St., N.W.) host Valentine’s Day is a Drag, a drag show, on Saturday, Feb. 9 at 6:30 p.m. Dinner seatings are at 6:30 and 8:30 p.m. Reservations are required for dinner seating. Admission is $20. All performance tips will be donated to SMYAL. Guests can attend the show without dinner reservations as there will be a standing-room area. There will also be raffle prizes. For more details, search “Valentine’s Day is a Drag” on Facebook. The D.C. Eagle (3701 Benning Rd., N.E.) hosts Self Love Night with Ms. D.C. Eagle 2019 on Saturday, Feb. 9 at 9 p.m. There will be chocolate covered strawberries and cupcakes on sale for charity. There will also be a raffle. For more information, visit dceagle.com. District Trivia hosts presents Valentine’s Day Dirty Sexy Trivia on Thursday, Feb. 14 at 7:30 p.m at Penn Social (801 E St., N.W.). Tickets are $14.69. For more information, visit district-trivia.com. “A Date with John Waters” is at Baltimore Soundstage (124 Market Pl., Baltimore) on Thursday, Feb. 14 at 7 p.m. Waters’ one-man show will discuss his early artistic influences, his love of true crime, sexual politics, exploitation films

and more. Tickets are $44. For more details, visit ticketmaster.com. Chad America’s 20th annual Valentine’s Day Rock and Roll Dance Party is at Black Cat (1811 14th St., N.W.) on Thursday, Feb. 14 at 7:30 p.m. Admission is free. For details, visit blackcatdc.com. The Mansion on O Street (2020 O St., N.W.) hosts Valentine’s Day Dessert and Concert on Thursday, Feb. 14 at 8 p.m. Felix Cavaliere of The Rascals will perform followed by a dessert reception and meet and greet. Tickets are $100. For more information, visit omansion.com. La Fantasy hosts Valentine with No Strings, an underwear dance party, on Friday, Feb. 15 from 10 p.m.-4 a.m. at L8 Lounge (727 15th St., N.W.). DJ Marco Da Silva will spin tracks. Coat/wardrobe check is $5. Tickets for entry are $25. For more information, lafantasyproductions.com. The D.C. Eagle (3701 Benning Rd., N.E.) hosts Valentine’s Day with the Birds of Prey on Friday, Feb. 15 from 10 p.m.-4 a.m. The Valentine’s Day show stars Delta Work of “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” Ba’Naka hosts the show with performances by Brooklyn Heights, Iyana Deschanel, Sasha Adams Sanchez, Crystal Edge and Evon Michell. DJ Icy Funk will play music until 4 a.m. For more details, visit dceagle.com. Flash (645 Florida Ave., N.W.) presents a Valentine’s Carnival, a dance party, on Sunday, Feb. 17 from 10 p.m.-5 a.m. DJ Twin and DJ Sean will spin tracks. The bar will be open until 4 a.m. For more information, visit facebook.com/ﬂashydc.

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+ Largest LGBT owned title company + Billions of dollars in transactions closed annually + 6 in house attorneys + Residential and commercial transactions + In home and in ofﬁce reﬁnance settlements + Licensed in DC, DE, MD, NJ, VA & WV

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The Helen Hayes Awards — Washington’s version of the Tonys — have nominated local productions from Signature, Arena, Ford’s and many others this year. Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key

‘Girlfriend,’ ‘The Wiz’ top Helen Hayes Award noms Annual prizes for local theater to be handed out in May By PATRICK FOLLIARD

Awards season is upon us. Monday night, an eager throng of the theater faithful gathered at National Theatre to hear this year’s Helen Hayes Award nominations -— 250 in 47 categories and grouped in “Helen” or “Hayes” cohorts depending on Actors Equity affiliation — read by a half dozen of last year’s winners. Signature Theatre’s musical “Girlfriend,’ a charming story of unlikely young gay love has earned a heap of Helen nominations for outstanding musical, outstanding director for out director Matthew Gardiner, and outstanding lead actor for its talented stars out actor Jimmy Mavrikes and Lukas James Miller. Let’s hope they don’t split the vote and cancel each other out. Director Gardiner is also nominated for “Passion,” his exquisite Signature production of Stephen Sondheim’s improbable romance between a dashing young Italian officer and an ailing but controlling woman gloriously played by Natascia Diaz who is nominated for Outstanding Lead Actress in a MusicalHayes. But unpardonably, “Passion” has been overlooked in the outstanding musical category. The costume category is packed with talent: Nominees include designer Robert Perdziola for “Passion,” Alejo Vietti who infused Arena Stage’s “Anything Goes” with luxury ocean liner duds, sporty and soigne, Ivania Stack for Imagination Stage’s “Cinderella,” Ana Kuzmanic for Shakespeare Theatre Company’s recordbreaking “Camelot,” and Kara Harmon for Ford’s Theatre “The Wiz” (one of the Hayes productions’ 13 nominations). In the Outstanding Direction in a Play–

Hayes category, Marti Lyons is nominated for both Studio Theatre’s “The Wolves,” a kinetically staged coming-of-age dramedy surrounding a girls’ soccer team, and Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company’s “Botticelli in the Fire,” a sexy take on the gay painter’s life. Out actor Jon Hudson Odom is deservedly nominated for assaying the title character. Out actor Justin Weaks is nominated for the James MacArthur Award for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a PlayHayes (James was Helen’s actor son best known for TV’s “Hawaii Five-O”) for playing multiple roles in Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company’s production of out playwright Branden Jacob-Jenkins’ quirky tale of death in the workplace, “Gloria.” Nominees in running for the black and gold-colored prizes named for the Washington native and First Lady of American Theater are selected by vetted judges with whom you may or may not agree. Sometimes they’re right like with like with nominating out playwright Ken Urban’ “The Remains” for the MacArthur Award for Outstanding New Play or Musical (Hayes), named for Helen Hayes’ successful playwright husband who wrote “The Front Page.” Urban’s memorable family dramedy about a same-sex couple whose landmark marriage is crumbling, premiered at Studio Theatre in May. Two of its cast members -— out actor Glenn Fitzgerald and Danielle Skraastad — have been singled out for well-merited acting nominations, and Studio’s artistic director David Muse is up for an outstanding director award. Out director Alan Paul is nominated for his deliciously fun take on Shakespeare’s “The Comedy of Errors,” set in 1960s Athens. The Shakespeare Theatre Company’s Hayes production also earned a lead acting nod for the reliably hilarious Veanne Cox. Arena Stage’s rousing and wonderful production of Cole Porters’ “Anything Goes” has garnered eight nods including nominations for director Molly Smith (Arena’s out artistic director) and triple threat Corbin Blue for his de-lovely turn as lovelorn, young stockbroker Billy Crocker, and a supporting actress nomination for Maria Rizzo who was terrific as lively gun moll, Erma. Handsome, talented Ephraim Sykes is nominated for Outstanding PerformerVisiting Production for creating David Ruffin in the Temptations musical bio, “Ain’t Too Proud,” that ran at the Kennedy Center in the summer. Nominees still have a while to bite their nails. The typically fun and cumbersome ceremony where winners are announced doesn’t happen until Monday, May 13 at The Anthem. A full list of nominees is at theatrewashington.org.

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We believe that to create an exceptional community of culture it takes all kinds.

The Ingleside communities are proud. We are proud to be advocates for an entire new generation of diversity. We are proud of our great history and heritage of serving Washington DC area seniors for generations. We are proud of our legacy of promoting a culture of inclusion that provides extraordinary service and exceptional care. We’re Ingleside proud! Visit us today and discover what Engaged Living can mean to you.

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Ingleside at Rock Creek and Ingleside at King Farm are CARF accredited, not-for-profit, Life Plan communities.

F EB R UARY 0 8 , 2 0 19 • WA SHINGTONBLA D E.COM • 51

Hold on tight,we’ll muddle through … ‘One Day at a Time’ revamp getting queerer with age By BRIAN T. CARNEY

EGOT winner RITA MORENO delights in ‘One Day at a Time.’ Photos by Ali Goldstein; courtesy Netflix

Like fine wine and stinky cheese and (insert your favorite cliché here), some things get better with age. That’s certainly true of the Netflix reboot of the classic sitcom “One Day at a Time.” Season three drops tonight (Friday, Feb. 8) and the show continues to crackle with great comedy while tackling meaty social issues in interesting and sensitive ways. LGBT characters and issues are still a central concern of the series. To bring queer fans old and new up to date, the original show ran on CBS from 19751984, part of Norman Lear’s ground-breaking stable of socially relevant and gay-friendly sitcoms. The series starred Broadway baby Bonnie Franklin as Ann Romano, a divorced mother of two in Indianapolis. Mackenzie Phillips (who has appeared as a guest star in the new series) played her rebellious older daughter Julie and Valerie Bertinelli played the wise-cracking younger daughter Barbara. Pat Harrington played the building superintendent Schneider. The show boldly tackled Ann’s challenges as a single mother and a working woman, as well as the romantic entanglements of all three Romano women. In 2017, Lear and producing partner Brent Miller approached Netflix with the idea of re-imaging the iconic series with a Latinx family at the center. Gloria Calderon Kellett and her husband Mike Royce were brought in to develop the series and serve as show-runners. Kellett, who is Cuban American, drew on her own family stories to create the characters and story arcs. (Her family photos are included in the visual montage that plays behind the opening credits and she appears as a bride in the season three finale.) The new “One Day at a Time” stars the amazing Justina Machado as Penelope Riera Alvarez, a veteran of the United States Army Nurse Corps and a single mother who is raising Elena (Isabella Gomez) and Alex (Marcel Ruiz) in the Echo Park neighborhood of Los Angeles. Stephen Tobolowsky plays her boss, Dr. Leslie Berkowitz and EGOT winner and legendary gay icon Rita Moreno plays her flamboyant mother Lydia. The central cast is rounded out by Todd Grinnell as Dwayne Schneider, the rich Canadian who owns the apartment building. Like the original series, the new series uses a multi-camera format and a live audience effectively. Like most series, the show took some time to find its groove, but after jettisoning some secondary characters and smoothing out the divergent acting styles of the cast, the show hit a strong stride and became

a critical and popular success, especially among the Latinx and LGBT communities. Beyond dealing with Penelope’s struggles as a single mother and a working woman, the series also deals with her struggles with PTSD from her service in Afghanistan. The central storyline for season one was the fiery feminist Elena’s reluctant planning for her quinceanera and her decision to come out to her family as a lesbian. Building on the hard-won success of season one, season two soared and the outspoken series continued to tackle issues of sexuality, sexism, racism, class, citizenship, addiction and mental illness, and modern romance with delicacy and humor. A highlight of the season was Penelope explaining to Lydia how to use the correct pronouns when referring to Elena’s non-binary friends, especially her romantic partner Syd (Sheridan Pierce). Season three continues to delight, combining a lively sense of humor with a thoughtful treatment of social issues. Elena is still dating Syd, who rebukes Elena by saying she’s “woker than a barnyard rooster;” Penelope struggles with her PTSD and juggling dating, work, parenting and school; Leslie continues his lovelorn courtship of Lydia; Schneider deals with addiction and his loneliness; and, Alex experiments with marijuana. In addition to Syd and the entire principal cast, several recurring characters come back for season three, including James Martinez as Victor Alvarez, Penelope’s ex-husband; Ed Quinn as Max Ferraro, Penelope’s Colombian boyfriend; and Tony Plana as Berto Riera, Lydia’s debonair late husband. Raúl Castillo (HBO’s “Looking” and “We the Animals”) joins the recurring cast as one of Penelope’s classmates and Danny Pino (“Law & Order: SVU”) appears as Penelope’s brother Vito. The new season has a lovely story arc, starting with a funeral and ending with a surprise wedding. Midway through is a romantic Valentine Day’s episode that celebrates love in many forms. The funeral episode features several wonderful guest stars, including Gloria Estefan as Lydia’s estranged sister, veteran Latinx actress Liz Torres as “Cousin Bitchy,” and Melissa Fumero and Stephanie Beatriz (both from “Brooklyn Nine Nine”) as cousins with secrets of their own. Estefan, who sings the series’ revamped theme song, even performs a delicious duet with Moreno. That alone is reason enough to tune in to season three of the very queer reimagining of “One Day at a Time.”

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GREAT PERFORMANCES AT MASON 2018/2019 SEASON

Trey McLaughlin & The Sounds of Zamar Friday, February 8 at 8 p.m.

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Cirque Mechanics

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Saturday, February 16 at 8 p.m. Sunday, February 17 at 2 p.m.

42FT– A Menagerie of Mechanical Marvels

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Family Friendly performances that are most suitable for families with younger children

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F EB R UARY 0 8 , 2 0 19 • WA SHINGTONBLA D E.COM • 53

Featuring “The Joint is Jumpin’,” “Honeysuckle Rose,” “A Handful of Keys” and more Now through March 10 | Pride Night February 8 Free parking 16 area restaurants

From left are CHRIS MOSIER, BRYAN FRANK and SAVANNAH BURTON. Photos courtesy the subjects

One step forward, one step back

Sports leagues regularly play defense against anti-LGBT measures By KEVIN MAJOROS

There has been a lot of news recently regarding policy changes on LGBT topics including the transgender military ban, conversion therapy bans and nondiscrimination bills. It has been a reminder that even when policies are put in place that support human rights, they can be reversed at a moment’s notice. The sports community is experiencing similar reversals and changes to those that have been seen in the political arena. On Jan. 14, Senate Bill 49 was introduced in South Dakota to overturn a 2015 policy in the state that allows participation for all students regardless of their gender identity or expression. Its passing would restrict participation in high school activities by birth certificate and could set a precedent for other states to follow. The bill failed to advance past committee on Jan. 24 and the protections for transgender athletes currently remain in place. It only took a few days for the attack to

begin again. Chris Mosier is the first transgender athlete to compete for Team USA and tracks policies for transgender athletes on TransAthlete.com. “While SB 49 was shot down, the South Dakota lawmakers introduced House Bill 1225 just a few days later which is the exact same bill targeting transgender high school athletes,” Mosier says. “They are hoping to angle the bill into a ‘friendlier’ committee to get it passed. The attacks against trans youth are still on.” On Jan. 18, the International Triathlon Union banned rainbow flags from all competitions, equating the rainbow flag with unsportsmanlike, disrespectful and dangerous displays. The ruling read as follows: “Athletes will avoid displaying any kind of demonstration of political, religious, sexual orientation or racial propaganda.” The sexual orientation part of that was new for 2019 and was designed specifically to eliminate rainbow flags. The public outcry regarding the ruling was immediate and six days later the ruling was reversed. The International Triathlon Union released the following statement: “The International Triathlon Union has decided to immediately change the rule that stated that ‘Athletes will avoid displaying any kind of demonstration of political, religious, sexual orientation or racial propaganda,’ so that ‘sexual orientation’ will be immediately removed.” D.C. triathlete Bryan Frank qualified for the 2015 Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii and knew he would be carrying the rainbow flag across the finish line. When he was a half mile from the finish line, he grabbed a rainbow flag from his entourage of seven supporters who were

holding it on the sidelines. “There is still a stigma that LGBT athletes can’t compete at a top level. Kona is the world championships and I wanted to show that anyone can play on the world stage,” Frank says. “There was another guy running next to me and he stepped aside to let me have my moment at the finish line. I got lots of cheers.” This past week, the International Powerlifting Federation and USA Powerlifting banned transgender athletes from competing by posting an update to their transgender participation policy on their website. Originally, the International Powerlifting Federation had adopted rules that followed the International Olympic Committee’s policies on transgender athletes. The rules allow such athletes to compete provided their hormones are within normal ranges. The new ruling prohibits all female transgender powerlifters and male transgender athletes who use testosterone from competition. LGBT sports watchdog Athlete Ally issued the following statement regarding the ruling: “Access to sport is a human right. When (LGBT) people are systematically excluded from sport, they are denied not only an essential component of their physical, mental and emotional well-being, but also access to a community and the social support therein.” Blocking athletes from competition, whether they are youth athletes or professional athletes, raises concerns on many levels. Participation in sports supports positive mental health and improves social skills along with promoting physical health. Sin City Classic hosted its annual multisport tournament last month in Las Vegas and the dodgeball tournament boasted 500 athletes from 60 teams. Most of the Team USA men’s and women’s members competed in the co-ed division. Winning the tournament MVP honors was trans athlete Savannah Burton, a former member of Team Canada’s women’s dodgeball team. Next up she will be competing in the Ontario provincials and hoping to qualify for Canadian Nationals. “Access to sports participation, in the gender that they identify, should be a right for every transgender athlete,” Burton says. “The values gained from being part of a team or a competition improves selfworth, overall physical health and provides a sense of belonging. The friendships and support I have received from my women’s dodgeball team (Wildlings) has been a game changer for me and I don’t know where I would be without those incredible ladies. When organizations are inclusive, everybody wins.”

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13500 Layhill Road, Silver Spring, MD Minutes from ICC & Glenmont Metro Bus Transportation & Extended Day Available

MICHAEL RADKOWSKY

Jumping the gun? Three months in, is it crazy to move for love?

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How long should I wait before moving in with my girlfriend? I met Melissa on a business trip to Chicago three months ago. It was a Thursday night and on a whim I went to a lesbian bar where I saw her. Wow! She was stunning. Although I am usually shy I went up to her and we started talking … and then dancing … and more talking. We had so much to say to each other that we wound up closing the place. It felt like love at first sight. Melissa came back to my hotel and we just talked and made out and cuddled till morning. I was due to fly back to D.C. that Friday afternoon but changed my ticket and spent the weekend with her. Melissa came to D.C. the following weekend and we’ve been going back and forth ever since. We also spent the week between Christmas and New Year’s together. So I think we’re really getting to know each other well in a short amount of time. We feel like we’re on the express route. Two weeks ago my client in Chicago offered me a job and I have decided to take it. Moving to Chicago to be with Melissa seems like an amazing opportunity to build a relationship with a very special person. Given that we want to be together all the time, we decided to just go for it and move in together. Melissa has a two-bedroom apartment so we figure we won’t always be on top of each other. My friends think I am nuts. I’ve lived in D.C. for eight years and have an extraordinary group of caring, supportive pals here. All I keep hearing from them is, “How can you leave everyone and everything you have in D.C. and move half-way across the country to live with someone you barely know?” But this relationship feels like the real thing. I have such a connection with Melissa that I’m sure she is my soul mate. She feels the same way. I’ve never felt this way about another person in my entire life. A few months back I would have rolled my eyes if someone else said this sort of thing to me, but here I am saying it and totally believing it. Is it really so bad to move in with someone so quickly? I’ve heard it can ruin a relationship. But we are crazy about each other so we don’t see a reason not to jump in. MICHAEL REPLIES: There’s no one right answer for how long to wait before moving in together.

Certainly it’s good to have some practice collaborating on difficult issues, so that you have reason to believe you can get through crises together. But you’ve already made your plan to live with each other. So rather than worrying, your task now is to focus on building a strong and vibrant relationship. Here are some points to keep in mind: The two of you aren’t going to continue to feel this blissful, indefinitely. It’s just the way relationships go. After some time, the gooeyness starts to fade and we start noticing all those little and big things that we don’t love about the other person. When this happens, aim to stay calm, close and as accepting as you can be, rather than letting yourself get angry or resentful. Having a sense of humor and keeping the perspective that relationships aren’t easy, will help. Remember: You can’t change your partner to better suit who you want her to be. You have to find a way to live with each other as you both are. That said, you each can do your best to be a great significant other. This means being thoughtful and generous whenever possible. It also means taking care not to ask too much of your partner. Yes, we all want emotional support and someone to listen to us. But aim not to wear your partner out. This may be particularly challenging for you as you are moving thousands of miles away from a great support system. Another key to a vibrant relationship: Strive to be not only a couple, but also two individuals. While you and Melissa are head over heels right now, you are also two different people who aren’t always going to think the same or want the same things. Give each other space to diverge. Set a boundary when it’s important to say, “no.” Accept each other’s boundaries even when you’re disappointed. Here’s an analogy to keep in mind: A longterm relationship is like a long sea voyage on a boat where the two of you are sharing a very small cabin. The kind of space where the couch is also the bed and you have to step over the suitcase to get to the bathroom. Getting along under these circumstances requires patience, generosity, kindness and humor. While you can’t know in advance how the adventure will proceed, you and Melissa can decide you will do your best to make your relationship a success. Your ongoing effort will go a long way toward your being a happy couple. Wishing you the best!

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PRIDE REVEAL The Capital Pride Alliance, which organizes D.C.’s annual LGBT Pride Parade, Festival and related events, launched the start of the city’s Pride season last week by revealing its 2019 Pride theme – “shhhOUT Past, Present & Proud.” Washington Blade photos by Daniel Truitt

F EB R UARY 0 8 , 2 0 19 • WA SHINGTONBLA DE.COM • 57

Rob Lacaze 28380 St. Michaels Rd . Easton, MD 21601 410-770-3600

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Rob Lacaze 28380 St. Michaels Rd . Easton, MD 21601 410-770-3600

Cell: 410-310-7835 • www.RobLacaze.com • lacazerob@gmail.com #1 Long & Foster/Christie’s Real Estate Agent on Maryland’s Eastern Shore (Bay Bridge-Ocean City) in 2018

If you are looking to buy on Maryland’s beautiful Eastern Shore, please call Rob Lacaze at 410-310-7835.

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F EB R UARY 0 8 , 2 0 19 • WA SHINGTONBLA D E.COM • 59

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Swipe right for real estate Searching for a home is like looking for your soul mate online By VALERIE M. BLAKE This week, the Blade celebrates the most eligible singles in the LGBTQ community. You can drool over their photographs, read about their likes and dislikes, and see if some of their hobbies are things you also enjoy. You can even plan an imaginary first date based on their preferences and perhaps make it a reality by contacting the person who seems to fit what you want in a date or a mate. Since the death of the Craigslist Personals, many people have flocked to dating and hook-up sites like Tinder, Grindr, or FindHrr, which co-founder Rebecca Paisis describes as “a lesbian Trip Advisor with a social network.” Whether you’re in the market for a short tryst or a lasting relationship, searching for a home is much like looking for your soul mate online. It requires time and energy, and you may have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince. Whichever app you’re using, you’re making decisions based on a few pictures and limited information. Statistics from the National Association of Realtors indicate that 18 percent of home purchases in 2018 were made by single women and another 7 percent were made by single men. Those numbers represent national averages; in my experience, however, there are much larger percentages of single buyers in the DMV. In both the housing market and the meat market, beauty is often in the superficial eye of the beholder. Your attention may be easily caught by a dazzling smile and a twinkle in his eye or by shiny, stainless steel appliances and gleaming hardwood floors.

Going to an open house is like speed dating at a coffee shop. Photo courtesy of Bigstock

With the right real estate matchmaker, however, you can find the home that suits your personality and your pocketbook and forms the basis of a long-term relationship. To get started, two critical issues must be addressed. The first is finding the right matchmaker. This is the person who will be the custodian of your personal and financial information, so it’s very important that you forge a relationship based on communication, candor and trust. Together, you and your matchmaker will develop a personalized plan that takes into consideration your needs, finances, location preferences and timing. As with love, there is no “one size fits all” in real estate. The second critical step in the process is securing financing. You probably wouldn’t go on a date without some method of paying for the evening, so unless you plan on paying cash to purchase a home, you’ll need to be pre-approved by a mortgage lender. The process is not as daunting as one might think since most lenders now have online applications to get you started. Still, nobody would describe the purchase of real estate as a paperless transaction yet,

F EB R UARY 0 8 , 2 0 19 • WA SHINGTONBLA DE.COM • 61

so don’t be surprised if you are asked for bank statements, pay stubs, income tax records, and your right arm. With your pre-approval letter and your needs assessment in hand, your matchmaker will automate a search for your home through the multiple listing service. You’ll be notified when a match appears, but instead of swiping in one direction or the other, you’ll be able to mark your favorites, determine which ones might be possibilities, and discard the ones you don’t like. The search system will also allow you to write notes, ask questions and communicate with your matchmaker. First impressions are as important in real estate searches as they are on dating websites. Both real estate listings and potential suitors who don’t display photographs generally get passed over. The first reaction is to wonder what they’re hiding. Similarly, a listing that shows only photographs of the home’s exterior is akin to the dating profile photo of a person who has his arm around someone who has been cropped out of the picture. In both cases, something is missing.

Professional photos are the Glamour Shots of real estate and portray a home in its best light, literally and figuratively, to entice you to visit in person, perhaps in a no pressure environment like an open house. Going to an open house is like speed dating at a coffee shop. You get to see those you like in person, determine how they match the characteristics you are looking for, and decide whether you want to see them again, all in 15 minutes or less. If you do want to take the next step, then it’s time to notify your real estate matchmaker, who will help you seal the deal and become an even more eligible single – one with equity.

Valerie M. Blake is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland and Virginia and Director of Education & Mentorship at RLAH Real Estate. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via www.DCHomeQuest. com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.

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