Washingtonblade.com, Volume 50, Issue 20, May 17, 2019 by Washington Blade

Photo by John Bator

OUR ANNUAL BEACH SEASON PREVIEW, STARRING THE BLUE MOON’S MAGNOLIA APPLEBOTTOM AND PAMALA STANLEY, PAGE 28

MAY 17, 2019 • VOLUM E 50 • I S S UE 20 • WA S HI N GTONB LAD E.CO M

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VOLUME 50 ISSUE 20 ADDRESS

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Father presents slain trans

Viewpoint

woman as a man for funeral

Rehoboth Summer Preview

Dr. Raymond Martins to

John Waters is never wrong

202-747-2077 E-MAIL news@washblade.com INTERNET washingtonblade.com PUBLISHED BY Brown Naff Pitts Omnimedia, Inc. PUBLISHER LYNNE J. BROWN lbrown@washblade.com ext. 8075 EDITORIAL EDITOR KEVIN NAFF knaff@washblade.com ext. 8088 FEATURES EDITOR JOEY DIGUGLIELMO joeyd@washblade.com ext. 8081 SR. NEWS REPORTER LOU CHIBBARO JR. lchibbaro@washblade.com ext. 8079 NEWS REPORTER CHRIS JOHNSON cjohnson@washblade.com ext. 8083 REPORTER & INTERNATIONAL NEWS EDITOR MICHAEL K. LAVERS mlavers@washblade.com POP CULTURE REPORTER MARIAH COOPER PHOTO EDITOR MICHAEL KEY mkey@washblade.com CONTRIBUTING WRITERS PETER ROSENSTEIN, MARK LEE, LATEEFAH WILLIAMS, KATE CLINTON, KATHI WOLFE, RICHARD J. ROSENDALL, ERNESTO VALLE, NICOLÁS LEVY, FELIPE ALFACE, YARIEL VALDÉS, LYNARE ROBBINS, RACHAEL ESPINET, KATLEGO K. KOL-KES, VICTOR MAUNG NEWS INTERN JAMES WELLEMEYER CREATIVE DESIGN/PRODUCTION AZERCREATIVE.COM SALES & ADMINISTRATION DIRECTOR OF SALES & MARKETING STEPHEN RUTGERS srutgers@washblade.com ext. 8077 SR. ACCT. EXECUTIVE BRIAN PITTS bpitts@washblade.com ext. 8089 ACCT. EXECUTIVE JOE HICKLING jhickling@washblade.com ext. 8094 CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING/ADMINISTRATION PHILLIP G. ROCKSTROH prockstroh@washblade.com ext. 8092 NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA 212-242-6863; sales@rivendellmedia.com

leave Whitman-Walker for

D.C. Black Pride returns

For distribution, contact Lynne Brown at 202-747-2077, ext. 8075. Distributed by MediaPoint, LLC

LGBT practice in Ga.

Time to ‘shhhOUT’

House vote on the Equality Act

Cabaret with Miss Turner

is the easy part. What’s next?

An actor’s empathy

Two marches set to highlight

Scandalous success

New York City’s Pride events

Is this snappy mood over yet?

equality made major impact

Affordable crossovers

Cuba arrests LGBT protesters,

‘Game of Homes’

Magnolia Applebottom and Pamala Stanley are two of the standout performers in Rehoboth Beach. Our annual summer preview. PAGES 28-34

Looking back:

50 years of the Blade 08 10

11 12

Study ﬁnds gonorrhoa passed through kissing

prompting criticism

at the beach 60

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9 years ago, a Pride proclamation from President Obama FROM STAFF REPORTS

Nine years ago this month, President Obama issued his second Pride proclamation, something he did for all eight years of his presidency. His successor, President Trump, has refused to issue the proclamations. In addition, Obama held a Pride reception at the White House each of his years in office. His 2010 proclamation read in part: “This month, as we recognize the immeasurable contributions of LGBT Americans, we renew our commitment to the struggle for equal rights for LGBT Americans and to ending prejudice and injustice wherever it exists.” Obama said LGBT people “have enriched and strengthened

the fabric of our national life” and “have achieved success and prominence in every discipline.” “They are our mothers and fathers, our sons and daughters, and our friends and neighbors,” Obama states. “Across my administration, openly LGBT employees are serving at every level.” Obama cited his administration’s accomplishments in advancing LGBT rights, including passage of hate crimes legislation in 2009. But he did not support marriage equality at the time, noting instead, that same-sex couples should have “the same rights and responsibilities afforded to any married couple” and reiterated his call to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act.

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Father presents slain trans woman as a man for funeral Legal experts urge LGBT people to secure a will when estranged from families By LOU CHIBBARO JR. LCHIBBARO@WASHBLADE.COM

Transgender activist EARLINE BUDD (second from left) joins in singing a hymn at a Celebration of Lives church service for trans woman Ashanti Carmon and four others.

To the dismay of her friends and at least two family members, the father of transgender woman Ashanti Carmon directed a funeral home to change her appearance and dress her body in a man’s suit for a private viewing not long after she was shot to death by an as yet unidentified assailant in Prince George’s County, Md. “At the end he just wanted to see and remember her as his son because that’s all he knows,” said Deborah Carmon, the father’s sister and Ashanti Carmon’s aunt. Deborah Carmon and her husband may have been the only family members who supported their niece’s decision to transition as a transgender woman more than 15 years ago, according to D.C. transgender activist Earline Budd. Budd noted that Deborah Carmon and her husband were the only two family members to accept Budd’s invitation to participate in a “Celebration of Lives” service held on May 11 at D.C.’s Metropolitan Community Church for Ashanti Carmon and four other members of the LGBT community who died unexpectedly in a two-week period following Carmon’s death. It was Budd who raised the money to pay for the funeral services and subsequent cremation of Carmon’s body and the interment of her ashes at D.C.’s Glenwood Cemetery after learning that the family didn’t have the money to cover those expenses. Budd said it was not until after the funds were raised and the funeral expense

paid directly to the funeral home that she learned of the father’s decision to present Ashanti Carmon as a man in death. From her conversations with Deborah Carmon, Budd said she learned that the father overruled the recommendation of Capital Mortuary, a D.C.-based funeral home that carried out the funereal arrangements, that the coffin be closed because of the disfigurement of Carmon’s face from one or more bullet wounds. “But the father insisted on a full viewing supposedly because he wanted closure,” Budd said. “And the closure for him was more about seeing his child in men’s clothes, which is bizarre for me because I don’t believe a one-day change can overcome 27 years of Ashanti’s life,” Budd said. “They are not going to put my son out there with girl clothes,” Deborah Carmon quoted her brother as saying, according to Budd. “I don’t want my son laid out like that,” Budd said the aunt quoted the father as saying. Attempts by the Washington Blade to reach the father and other family members sympathetic to the father for comment were unsuccessful. Amy Nelson, director of Legal Services for D.C.’s Whitman-Walker Health, an LGBT supportive medical services center, called the developments surrounding Ashanti Carmon’s funeral arrangements a “tragedy” that could be prevented for other transgender people through advance legal protections. Among those protections, Nelson said, are a will and an addendum to a will and last

testament known as a Disposition of Bodily Human Remains. According to Nelson, such a document would enable a transgender person to specify exactly how their funeral, burial and other end of life arrangements should be made by designating someone they trust to act on their behalf. The person they designate is called an agent, said Nelson, who described as “terrible” the outcome of Ashanti Carmon’s funeral arrangements as dictated by the father. “That’s one reason we make a big effort to push these documents for all of our transgender and gender-nonconforming clients, particularly those whose families are not supportive,” she said. “Now the best case scenario is they draft a document, they pass away, their agent is locally based and available and steps in and runs the show,” Nelson told the Blade. Nelson said a transgender or LGBT person seeking these legal protections for the time of their passing obviously needs to find someone they can trust to be their agent. She said that in cases where a client cannot find someone to serve as their agent Whitman-Walker recently has made arrangements for carefully screened volunteers to act as someone’s agent. Budd said a GoFundMe site she created to raise money for Ashanti Carmon’s funeral expenses prior to learning of the father’s actions raised sufficient funds to reimburse the $3,080 Dignity Washington donated to help cover funeral related expenses. She said the LGBT Catholic group accepted a $2,000 reimbursement to use for other charitable causes and told her to

keep the remaining $1,080 for a reserve fund that Budd has created for funeral expenses for transgender people who pass away in the future and whose families and loved ones many not have the means to cover those costs. About 50 family members and friends of Carmon and four other members of the LGBT community who lost their lives unexpectedly this year joined four LGBT supportive ministers for a celebration of their lives on May 11 at the Metropolitan Community Church of Washington. The others whose lives were remembered during the memorial included Robert Chase “Seven,” 55, and Patricia “Cleo” Queen, 57, both of whom died in April of a drug overdose in the midst of the city’s opioid crisis, organizers of the memorial said. Also remembered at the service were Kyrell Kris Morant, 47, who died April 14 of as yet unknown causes; and Keisha Washington, 33, who died May 1 of natural causes, according to the LGBT community services center Casa Ruby, where she worked. “The truth is no one knows when it is time for our sunset,” said Rev. Elder Akousa McCray Peters, pastor of Unity Fellowship Church of D.C. and one of the four ministers who spoke at the Celebration of Lives service. Rev. Kenneth King said he was “annoyed and frustrated” over the violence that led to the deaths of Ashanti Carmon and other trans women in recent years. “Something is about to move us to the next step,” he said. “There is something inside us that can let us turn the table.” Among the family members who spoke was Deborah Carmon. She told the gathering that not everyone in Ashanti’s family accepted her for who she was. “People said we don’t want you to look like this. You should look like the way you were born,” the aunt said. “But I know she was not happy until she was Ashanti. I told her no matter what you choose, you choose what makes you happy.” Budd, the lead organizer of the Celebration of Lives service, said she was disappointed that other family members of Ashanti Carmon, including her father, chose not to attend the service because they disapproved of Ashanti’s transition as a woman. Budd said the outpouring of love and support shown at the service overshadowed the disapproval that transgender people like Ashanti and others like her encounter in life.

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MONDAYS 2019

June 10 SIMPLY BARBRA 9:30 pm It's SIMPLY BARBRA starring Steven Brinberg with musical director Michael Ferreri. Internationally renowned Streisand impressionist celebrates the 50th anniversary of the film “Hello Dolly” and Miss Streisand's latest album, “Walls” in the latest edition of his show. $27.50 per person

35 Baltimore Ave. • Rehoboth Beach, DE 302.227.6515 • BlueMoonRehoboth.com

June 17 MISS RICHFIELD 1981 9:30 pm In her all-new show “Gender Fluids“ Miss Richfield 1981 will attempt to find non-binary answers to our increasingly complex world! With all new music, new videos, new costumes, and a healthy heap of help from the audience, this show promises to celebrate all the genders – both old & new. $37.50 per person

Happy Hour Daily 4pm – 6pm Sunday Brunch 10am – 2pm Dinner 5pm – 10pm

SUN.-THURS.

6-8:30 pm No Cover The world-renowned diva performing standards, Broadway, disco and dance hits from yesterday and today.

Pamala Stanley

Tickets available at BlueMoonRehoboth.com

SUNDAYS

Climax! with Magnolia

9:30 pm No Cover Join Magnolia Applebottom for a cabaret talk show with an ever changing line up of special guests.

June 24 JIMMY JAMES 9:30 pm The talented Jimmy James brings his highly acclaimed multimedia show “Divas Are Forever” to The Blue Moon in Rehoboth Beach. Video visuals will accompany his plethora of LIVE singing vocal impressions: Cher, Elvis, Judy Garland, Eartha Kitt, Liza Minnelli, Barbra Streisand, Diana Ross, Billie Holiday, Adele, Patsy Cline, Madonna, Bette Davis, Stevie Nicks and more. $27.50 per person

July 1 LADY BUNNY 9:30 pm The Wigstock founder and Dean of Drag, is bringing her blend of raucous, irreverent comedy to the Blue Moon again for her 9th year. Dusty Springfield-meetsDon-Rickles potty-mouthed humor brings southern charm, zany "Laugh-In" skits, X-rated parodies. $27.50 per person July 8 SHERRY VINE & JACKIE BEAT 9:30 pm Legendary drag icons Jackie Beat

& Sherry Vine reunite onstage in a no-holds-barred, down 'n' dirty, anything-goes…Battle of Bitches, Ladies of the 80s! Jackie and Sherry have an electric onstage chemistry that cannot be denied! So break out the triple shoulder pads and your parachute pants and catch this once-in-a-lifetime double dollop of drag delight that has wowed sold out crowds around the world. $32.50 per person

July 15 LINDA CLIFFORD 9:30 pm Don’t miss Linda Clifford in “The Things I Love - A Collection of Songs I’ve Loved and Have Special Meaning.” Linda ranks among the best classic soul singers as well as a legendary Disco Diva. Singer, songwriter and actress, she electrified audiences with her music and amazing live performances in sold-out shows around the world in front of millions on TV and film. $27.50 per person

TUESDAYS BINGO

9:30 pm No Cover The ladies of the Blue Moon show you their balls with old fashion bingo.

WEDNESDAYS Games With Magnolia

9:30 pm No Cover A weekly game show hosted by the always unpredictable Magnolia Applebottom.

THURSDAYS Karaoke 9:30 pm No Cover

FRIDAYS

Spotlight Show

July 22 LINDSEY ALLEY

9:30 pm See Lindsey Alley in “Blood, Sweat & Mouseketears...Now with all NEW Sweat!” During this memorable evening of booze, belting and belly laughs, former Mouseketeer, Lindsey Alley, takes us on a comedic musical journey...and her hilarious quest for the elusive “Happily Ever After.” Brace yourself, as Lindsey puts her Disney image on the shelf and lets it all hang out...prompting her mother’s unsolicited stock apology, “I tried. I tried and I failed!” $27.50 per person

July 29 DIXIE LONGATE 9:30 pm "God, I hate people!" We have all run into them; people that make us so mad we want to punch a cat. But don't fret because Dixie Longate, America's favorite Tupperware lady, is back to share some stories and secrets for making the best of a troubled world and spreading smiles instead of crabs. Spend the evening with Dixie. She'll leave your heart a little warmer and your food a little fresher. $27.50 per person August 5 TORI SCOTT 9:30 pm

Tori Scott is Pickled! “The Bette Midler of the New Millennium” (Provincetown Magazine) is back and she still hasn’t learned from her mistakes! Known for her cabaret shows that take true stories from her life and turn them into musical celebrations Pickled includes music from Lady Gaga, Madonna, Dolly Parton, and more! $27.50 per person

August 12 ANNE STEELE 9:30 pm Anne Steele is thrilled to be back at The best karaoke in town hosted Blue Moon with her brand new tour, “Made Out Of Stars!” Anne co-wrote her new EP in LA with rockstar by the ladies of the Blue Moon. songwriters/ producers Shane Stevens and Nash Overstreet. This new music will show a different side of Anne as not only a singer, but as a songwriter. New original songs plus lots of fun covers by artists like Pink, Alanis Morisette and Demi Lovato. She is backed by her BFF and Musical Director Nate Buccieri. $27.50 per person

9:30 pm No Cover This is the best female illusion show you will see.

SATURDAYS 9:30 pm No Cover All live singing in a fast past show with the Blue Moon cast of celebrity impersonators.

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August 19 BRANDEN & JAMES 9:30 pm The "powerhouse cello and vocal duo" debut in Rehoboth Beach with a brand-new show called, "All You Need Is Love." They will make you both laugh and cry with stories of their upbringing and what it's like to be married to each other AND live & work together. Reinventing Pop music in classical music form with operatic tenor vocals and cello featuring music from Wicked, The Greatest Showman, Robyn, Roxette, The Beatles, and songs from their new album! $27.50 per person August 26 TELLY LEUNG 9:30 pm (Rent, Godspell, Allegiance, Glee) is thrilled to return

to his favorite summer time concert venue, the Blue Moon with Gary Adler (piano) and J.J. Johnson (viola) after completing a successful two-year run as the title character in Disney's ALADDIN on Broadway. Since leaving Agrabah, Telly has been on a "magic carpet ride," traveling around the world for concerts. -Broadway tunes, Disney favorites, and songs from the world or pop / rock / jazz / R&B done with a new and inventive twist. $30 per person DINNER & SHOW: Dine at the Blue Moon restaurant before the show and receive a 15% discount on your dinner check -- reservations strongly suggested. Open seating, doors open 30 minutes before show time.

Dr. Raymond Martins to leave Whitman-Walker for LGBT practice in Ga.

Dr. RAYMOND MARTINS announced he is leaving Whitman-Walker to start an LGBTfocused medical practice in Savannah, Ga. Washington Blade photo by Michael Key

Dr. Raymond Martins, who has worked at D.C.’s Whitman-Walker Health since 2008, initially as Chief Medical Officer and currently as Senior Director of Clinical Education and Training, has announced he is leaving Whitman-Walker to start an LGBT-focused medical practice in Savannah, Ga. Martins told the Washington Blade in a statement that he and his husband Chad, who’s also a physician, had a daughter named Diana through a surrogate mom in Savannah. “We fell in love with our surrogate Liz and her family and entertained the thought of moving there,” Martins said. “Then it just seemed right,” he said. He said Diana, who is now one year old, “will be able to grow up with her surrogate family (including two amazing kids).” His husband Chad will continue in academics at Mercer University School of Medicine, which has a campus in Savannah, Martins said. And Martins plans to start a medical practice with a focus on the LGBT community in Savannah, where “there is a definite need for PrEP and transgender focused care,” he said. In addition to his role at Whitman-Walker as Senior Director of Clinical Education and Training, Martins has served as associate clinical professor of medicine at George Washington University, as assistant professor of family medicine and population health at Virginia Commonwealth University, and as assistant professor of preventive medicine at the Walter Reed Army Institute of Research and the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences. “There currently is no medical provider in Savannah who focuses on the GLBT community,” Martins said. “So personally I hope to bring a bit of Whitman-Walker to Savannah.” He and his family will be leaving D.C. for Savanah at the end of this month. LOU CHIBBARO JR.

Arena is tops at Helen Hayes Awards Washington theater professionals and their fans gathered Monday at the

Anthem for the 35th annual Helen Hayes Awards. There’s no way around it, doling out prizes for 47 categories takes time, a LOT of time. But overall, the evening was light and celebratory; a happy salute to last year’s offerings from the nation’s fastest-growing theater region. Nominees were again grouped in

Helen and Hayes cohorts depending on the number of Equity members in the production. (Hayes productions have more Equity members.) But unlike previous years, there were no runaway winners among the nominated productions. Arena Stage garnered the most wins with seven, distributed over different productions including the sensational “Anything Goes,” “Indecent,” “Dave,” and “Two Trains Running.” Nonetheless, Outstanding Production in a Play (Hayes) went to Woolly Mammoth Theatre Company’s “Gloria,” a fascinating tale of office rage by ubiquitous playwright Branden Jacobs-Jenkins. Constellation Theatre Company took Outstanding Play (Helen) for “Melancholy Play: A Contemporary Farce.” As for musicals, Outstanding Production in a Musical (Hayes) went to Shakespeare Theatre Company’s “Camelot.” Accepting the award, out director Alan Paul dedicated the honor to his mentor, STC’s revered outgoing artistic director Michael Kahn. And 1st Stage took Outstanding Production in a Musical (Helen) for “Fly by Night,” Many of the award recipients were LGBT including a deserving Jimmy Mavrikes who took Outstanding Lead Actor in a Musical (Helen) for his turn as an insecure, small-town teenager who finds summer love with the popular boy from school in Signature’s “Girlfriend.” Presenters were also drawn from the LGBT pool, including actors Jade Jones and Maulik Pancholy, actor/director Holly Twyford, actor/choreographer Lady Dane Figueroa Edidi, Founding theatre Washington Board Chair Victor Shargai and theatre Washington’s thoughtful president and CEO Amy Austin. Some smart person shrewdly cast out actor/director Rick Hammerly and actor Felicia Curry as the evening’s co-hosts. Both past Helen Hayes Award winners, the pair brought energy, humor and a sense of respect for the community and love for theater to the event. When they were offstage, things dimmed. Two extremely worthy productions were singled out for best ensembles (Hayes): Signature Theatre’s musical “The Scottsboro Boys,” staged by out director Joe Calarco, and Studio Theatre’s “The Wolves,” a compelling play about teenage girls by Sarah DeLappe. The show’s in-memoriam sequence featured video montage of theater folks who died over the last year, stirringly accompanied by vocalist Nova T. Payton. Among those remembered was Darius Smith who not incidentally won this year’s award for Outstanding Musical Direction (Hayes) for Ford’s Theatre’s “The Wiz.” Unfortunately, the sheer number of categories and speeches prevents more musical performances. It’s too bad. More songs would broaden the event’s appeal. Notably, Maria Rizzo won two awards: She took outstanding supporting actress in a musical (Hayes) for her delightful turn as an appealing gun moll in Arena’s production of Cole Porter’s “Anything

Goes” and Outstanding lead actress in a musical (Helen) for playing Roxie Hart in the Keegan Theatre’s revival of “Chicago.” The charming Natsu Onoda Power also took home two awards. She won both script adaptation and set design for “The Lathe of Heaven,” a Helen-categorized production from Spooky Action Theatre and Georgetown University. Natascia Diaz was honored her gorgeous work as Fosca in Signature’s “Passion,” (a Hayes musical) the 19th century set tale of an ill-fated romance between a handsome Italian officer and an ugly, undervalued woman. The prestigious Helen Hayes Tribute went to director Jennifer L. Nelson. She expressed the value of taking a chance on someone you don’t know as well as diversity, themes that recurred throughout many acceptance speeches. Another repeated message: Parents, take your kids to see theater. Spark their interest and they may one day be collecting prizes before a festive audience in a massive venue. PATRICK FOLLIARD

Center Global honors HRC staffer, Russian activist Center Global on May 9 held its annual awards ceremony at Room and Board on 14th Street. The organization during the event that Rayceen Pendarvis emceed honored Human Rights Campaign Global Director Ty Cobb with its Global Advocate Award and Gleb Latnik, an LGBT activist from Russia who now lives in D.C. with his husband, with its Global Courage Award. “We’re living in an incredibly complicated time,” said Cobb after he accepted his award. “There is no doubt this administration is … evil, but also directly attacking asylum seekers in this country. We also know that this administration is attacking LGBTQ people, erasing trans people and has an incredibly incoherent foreign policy around human rights.” “So to be an LGBTQ asylum seeker in this moment is sitting at an intersection that’s a really tough intersection to sit in, but there are really hopeful things happening,” he added, noting the issue of asylum seekers has become more publicized and advocates continue to challenge the Trump administration’s immigration policies. Center Global has provided assistance to more than 200 other LGBT asylum seekers from around the world since it formed in 2012. The Gay and Lesbian Activists Alliance last month recognized the organization at its 48th Anniversary Reception. Latnik, who grew up near the Russian city of Yekaterinburg in the Ural Mountains, said after he received his award that Center Global “helps people live their lives” and gives them “community.” MICHAEL K. LAVERS

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House vote on the Equality Act is the easy part. What’s next? An uphill climb to 60 in the Senate, then a hostile president By CHRIS JOHNSON CJOHNSON@WASHBLADE.COM

The House is poised to approve the Equality Act on Friday. Washington Blade photo by Michael Key

The vote this week on the Equality Act will be a historic moment marking the firsttime a chamber of Congress has approved the comprehensive LGBT legislation, but that will be the easy part in getting it to become law. With 240 co-sponsors, the Democraticcontrolled House is set to approve the Equality Act with no problem, but with Republicans enjoying a majority in the Senate, supporters will need to pick up 17 GOP votes to reach the 60-vote threshold to overcome a filibuster (assuming the entire Democratic caucus is united, which is not the case with West Virginia Sen. Joe Manchin against the bill). Then there’s President Trump, who came out in opposition to the Equality Act via comments from a senior administration official to the Blade on the basis of unspecified “poison pill” amendments in the bill, nor opposition from religious groups like the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops and the Church of Latter-day Saints. Overcoming all these odds would require a Herculean effort and be an unprecedented achievement of legislative strategy, to say the least. LGBT rights advocates familiar with the strategy for the Equality Act, however, told the Blade they weren’t willing to say die after the vote and are seeking paths to enshrine the Equality Act’s prohibition on anti-LGBT discrimination into law this Congress. The Blade solicited comments from LGBT advocates working on the legislation on condition of anonymity so they could speak more candidly about the strategy.

One LGBT advocate said the campaign for the Equality Act is “not just an effort to win a resounding as possible House vote, although that certainly is…one the biggest hurdles.” The advocate said “there’s a fair amount of energy” in working with the Senate on the Equality Act among its business supporters, which includes 200 businesses, the U.S. Chamber of Congress and the National Association of Manufacturers. “I don’t have a conversation with these companies that stops at ‘What are we doing for the House vote?’” the advocate said. “They all say, ‘This is really exciting. We want to also work on X, Y, Z senators when we get to the point after the House vote.’” Following passage of the Equality Act in the House, one advocate said “we’re going to see if we can have a test vote in the Senate,” which will be mostly be an amendment introduced by Sen. Jeff Merkley (D-Ore.), the sponsor of the bill, to another legislative vehicle pending before the Senate floor. “If they do bring bills to the floor and allow amendments, we will very much be looking for an opportunity to get a test vote on the Equality Act,” the advocate said. But being in a position to offer the Equality Act as an amendment is no small task. With Republicans in the majority, it would require consent from Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), who isn’t exactly known as a supporter of LGBT rights. Moreover, the Senate at this time is almost exclusively focused on confirming

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Trump’s judicial nominees and rarely takes up legislation, let alone a bill approved by the Democratic-controlled House. A McConnell spokesperson told the Blade Wednesday via email Senate Republican leadership had “no scheduling announcement regarding Senate action” at this time on the Equality Act. Once an agreement is reached for a vote, the next part is the extraordinary heavy lift of finding 14 senators who aren’t co-sponsors of the Equality Act to vote for the bill. As of right now, the only Republican co-sponsor is Sen. Susan Collins (Maine). The first tier of likely Republicans votes, one LGBT advocate said, would be Sen. Lisa Murkowski (Alaska), who has a reputation for bucking the Republican caucus and said last year she voted against the Anchorage anti-transgender measure at the ballot, and Sen. Rob Portman (Ohio), who has a gay son. Both Republicans support same-sex marriage and voted for the Employment Non-Discrimination Act in 2013. The next tier is Republicans, the advocate said, from traditionally “blue” states, which includes Sens. Pat Toomey (R-Pa.) and Ron Johnson (R-Wis.), as well as Sen. Cory Gardner (R-Colo.), who represents an increasingly “blue” state and is behind in the polls as he faces a reelection bid this year. Although Manchin — the lone Democrat in the Senate not to co-sponsor the Equality Act — has stated opposition to the legislation, citing concerns with having “sufficient guidance to the local [education] officials who will be responsible for implementing,” the West Virginian would likely also vote for the Equality Act if enough Republicans came on board, one LGBT advocate said. The next tranche of senators is harder. Top of the list is Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah), who said in 1994 while seeking to defeat the late Sen. Ted Kennedy in Massachusetts he’d co-sponsor ENDA and “if possible broaden [it] to include housing and credit.” (He remained silent on LGBT nondiscrimination during his 2012 presidential campaign and his latest run for the Senate.) Others would be the Republicans from Florida — Sens. Rick Scott and Marco Rubio — although one advocate snidely said Rubio would have to “decide he wasn’t running for president” as a Republican for him to be in play. Sens. Lamar Alexander (R-Tenn.) and Todd Young (R-Ind.) were also mentioned, but one advocate acknowledged that was “stretching” things a bit.

One LGBT advocate expressed an openness to “changes that could be made to attract additional balance” to the Equality Act, such as an amendment to make clear religious liberty under the First Amendment is upheld under the legislation. “We weren’t particularly interested in doing that to satisfy people who were still going to vote against the bill, but we could provide clarity…for people who are actually planning to vote for the bill and want to be able to point to clarity on certain areas,” the advocate said. “That would not be problematic because we think the bill strikes the right balance in a whole host of ways.” But even the number of senators listed there doesn’t get to 60. One LGBT advocate said he “could count to 60, eventually,” but a vote in the Senate would probably fall short of that number. “We probably would not hit 60, but I feel pretty confident we could get a vote that shows we have a majority in the U.S. Senate, and potentially even a sizable majority of the U.S. Senate,” the advocate said. A shakeup in the Senate after the 2020 election, the advocate said, would be the more likely route to victory in the chamber for the Equality Act. “It’s awfully hard to do it in this Congress, with the current composition of the Senate,” the advocate said. “I do think we have to pick up a few more Democratic seats, or pick up a few more pro-equality Republicans.” The past might provide guidance for the Equality Act. In 2013, LGBT advocates faced a similar situation in efforts to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, legislation that sought to ban anti-LGBT discrimination in the workforce. ENDA was similar in this respect to the Equality Act, although was more limited in scope because it didn’t address other aspects of civil rights law. The LGBT group Freedom to Work formed with the exclusive purpose of guiding ENDA into law. A $2 million grassroots campaign known as the Americans for Workplace Opportunity was also formed to engage legislators seen as moveable on the legislation. Although a House vote on ENDA never took place, the Senate approved the legislation with 10 Republican votes and the number of Republican co-sponsors in the House gradually grew before LGBT advocates essentially pulled the plug based on concerns over an overly broad religious exemption in the bill. CONTINUES AT WASHINGTONBLADE.COM

Two marches set to highlight New York City’s Pride events Millions from U.S. and abroad expected to mark 50th anniversary of Stonewall By LOU CHIBBARO JR. LCHIBBARO@WASHBLADE.COM

A scene from 2014’s NYC Pride march. This year’s parade is expected to draw 4 million. Washington Blade photo by Michael Key

Two separate marches to commemorate the 50th anniversary of New York’s Stonewall riots that are credited with starting the modern LGBT rights movement are expected to draw more than four million people to the streets of Manhattan on June 30 as participants or spectators, according to organizers of multiple Pride events scheduled for that day. Following negotiations led by the New York City Police Department, organizers of the Queer Liberation March announced at a news conference on Tuesday that their march would begin at 9:30 a.m. on June 30, two and a half hours sooner than the noon kickoff time for the official New York City Pride March. The two marches will each pass in front of the Stonewall Inn gay bar in Greenwich Village, the site of the 1969 Stonewall riots, at different times and will travel along different routes, allowing many people to participate in both marches. A New York City-based group called the Reclaim Pride Coalition first announced plans in January for an alternative march now called the Queer Liberation March. The group has said it believes the official NYC Pride March has evolved into a parade dominated by large corporate floats and no longer represents the spirit and activist militancy of the Stonewall rebellion. “Reclaim Pride Coalition is a growing global coalition of over 100 organizations in at least 18 countries and thousands of individuals who are reclaiming NYC Pride so it better represents the queer communities (Trans, Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay, Queer, Intersex, Asexual, Two Spirit, Non-Binary, Gender Non-Conforming +

and Allies) and our struggles,” the group said in a May 14 statement. Officials with the group announced at Tuesday’s news conference that its Queer Liberation Parade will follow the same historic route as the very first Pride March held in 1970 to commemorate the first anniversary of the Stonewall riots. It will begin 9:30 a.m. in Sheridan Square near the Stonewall gay bar and travel up 7th Avenue across West 10th Street to 6th Avenue, where it will proceed to Central Park where a rally with speakers and entertainers will take place. Organizers note that the groundbreaking 1970 Pride March also traveled to Central Park for a rally. Heritage of Pride or HOP, the group that has organized New York City’s Pride events, including the annual Pride March for more than 20 years, disputes claims that its march no longer represents the spirit of Stonewall. James Fallarino, a spokesperson for Heritage of Pride, told the Blade earlier this year that in addition to the larger turnout expected from people in other U.S. locations, New York Pride this year is serving as host for World Pride, an international LGBT event that will take place in the U.S. for the first time this year to commemorate the Stonewall rebellion. Fallarino noted that the size and scope of the New York Pride March and related events have increased enormously since activists in New York organized what’s believed to be the world’s first LGBT Pride March in June 1970 to commemorate the first anniversary of the Stonewall riots. He said there are more than 50 Pride

related events scheduled to take place in New York City throughout the month of June. Among them will be an extravaganza closing ceremony on the day of the two marches on June 30 in the city’s historic Times Square. Singer and songwriter Melissa Etheridge will be among the celebrities scheduled to perform there. According to Fallarino, the total cost for all the events organized by Heritage of Pride will be about $12 million. He said the “vast majority” of the funding will come from corporate sponsors. “Seventy-four percent of all marching groups are non-profit organizations, and more than half of all marching groups are participating free of charge,” Heritage of Pride said in an April 11 statement referring to its official NY Pride March. The statement added, “Upwards of 150 marching groups are coming from outside the U.S. to participate in this historic event.” Fallarino said four million people were expected to turn out for the New York Pride March this year, with about 115,000 expected to march and the remainder of the crowds expected to line the streets as spectators. In an April 11 statement, Heritage of Pride said its march would kick off at noon at 26th Street and 5th Avenue will proceed south of 5th Avenue before heading west on 8th Street. The statement says after crossing over 6th Avenue the march will continue on Christopher Street in Greenwich Village passing in front of the site of the Stonewall Inn bar. It will then turn north on 7th Avenue, passing in front of New York City’s AIDS Memorial before ending in the Chelsea neighborhood just north of 23rd Street

and 7th Avenue, the statement says. The statement says that among five Grand Marshals selected to lead the march will be members of the Gay Liberation Front, the first known LGBT activist organization to form following the Stonewall riots. The decision by the Reclaim Pride Coalition to hold a separate march follows disputes between LGBT activists in many U.S. cities during the past several years, including in D.C., over whether the annual Pride events should be largescale celebrations involving parades with corporate sponsored floats or whether they should be limited to protest-like marches that highlight the work still needed to overcome discrimination and oppression that many in the LGBT community still face. In a May 14 statement called “Queer Liberation March Explainer,” the Reclaim Pride Coalition reiterated its reason for holding a separate march. “The annual Pride Parade has become bloated with 150 corporate floats and horribly over-policed,” the statement says. “This does not represent the ‘Spirit of Stonewall’ on this 50th anniversary of the 1969 Stonewall Rebellion,” it says. “It does not address the urgent continuing needs of trans and queer people – still under daily attack by the Trump administration and by countries around the world. This is an alternative March designed to include, celebrate, and advance justice for all.” Those who support the idea of having the Pride events, including marches or parades as a form of a celebration, argue that the LGBT movement has made major gains over the past 50 years and those gains are grounds for a celebration. Officials with D.C.’s Capital Pride Alliance, which organizes D.C.’s LGBT Pride Parade and Festival, say all corporate sponsors of the events have strong internal LGBT supportive nondiscrimination policies and that the corporate floats in the D.C. Pride Parade are led by LGBT employee groups. “We understand people want to party,” said Ann Northrop, a longtime New York lesbian activist and one of the leaders of the Reclaim Pride Coalition. “Let them party. But we can’t ignore the bad things that are happening around the world,” she said. “We will be celebrating our history. But our event will be political in nature.” More information about the two marches and related events can be found at reclaimpridenyc.org and 2019-worldpride-stonewall50.nycpride.org.

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FY20 APPLICATIONS AVAILABLE MAY 3

Applications for FY 2020 project-based grants for individuals and organizations will be available online May 3, 2019. For more information on upcoming grant programs, including technical assistance workshops for applicants, contact us at www.dcarts.dc.gov | 202-724-5613

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Cutting Edge Gay/Bi Men’s Health Research Shares New Findings By Morgan Wright Last week, initial findings were published from the first study of its kind, researching gay and bisexual men (GBM) who’ve had prostate cancer. The study, referred to as Restore #1, was the culmination of half a decade of careful design, research, and execution. Published in Archives of Sexual Behavior, this study describes the effects of prostate cancer treatment on GBM’s sexual behavior and urinary functioning. Make no mistake, this is a huge advancement for our community. Never before has there been a study about the specific experience of GBM undergoing prostate cancer treatment. It was the first study of this kind to receive federal funding and found examples of how disparities in health research negatively impact GBM.

Are you a gay or bisexual man who has been diagnosed with prostate cancer? Join the ﬁrst study on prostate cancer rehabilitation designed for and by our community.

The findings of this study were a call to action. Two-thirds of guys described their sexual functioning as “fair” to “poor” after treatment. This is part of a bigger issue because good sexual functioning is predictive of long-term mental and physical health. The fact that many men reported erectile difficulties and that multiple men cited this as a reason for not using condoms should also be of concern to those working in the field of HIV and STI prevention. Restore #1 also found that over half of guys reported problems with urine during sex. This is a huge problem that hasn’t been explicitly addressed in research until now. In fact, compared to the previously published findings for straight prostate cancer survivors, GBM were found to have worse urinary function and worse hormonal function than their straight counterparts. This study also was the first ever to describe common problems with bottoming for guys who’ve had prostate cancer treatment. A surprising result of the Restore #1 study was discovering that for many guys, a loss of role-in-sex identity occurs after prostate cancer treatment. The study suggests that rather than tops becoming bottoms or vice versa, the more common outcome is that they have less anal sex altogether. There were also encouraging results as the team looked at their data. Maybe most interestingly, the study shatters the stereotype of older men no longer being sexual since almost all participants in the Restore #1 study reported some recent sexual activity, either alone or with a partner. The overall picture is that sexual recovery is a major problem for GBM post-treatment for prostate cancer. Only 11% of participants described their sexual functioning as “good” or “excellent” which means conventional treatment is failing almost nine out of every ten men. To pick up where this research left off, the study team has already begun collecting data for Restore #2. The new work is taking lessons learned from #1 and building a sexual and urinary functioning rehabilitation program. They hope to evaluate this new sexual recovery program by conducting a randomly controlled trial. The goal is a new standard of recovery for GBM who have had prostate cancer treatment.

Visit restorestudy.umn.edu to learn more and take the eligibility survey Email: restorestudy@umn.edu Phone: 612-568-8860

The Restore #2 study is entirely online and is enrolling 400 guys from across the nation. If you would like to participate or know someone who might, you can contact the Restore #2 team at the University of Minnesota by calling 612-568-8860 or sending an email to restorestudy@umn.edu.

You can contact us by calling 612-568-8860 or send an email to restorestudy@umn.edu. The Restore Study is a National Institutes of Health- funded study through the University of Minnesota. Reach out through email (restorestudy@umn.edu) or phone number (612-568-8860)

NIH grant #1RO1CA218657-01

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Cuba arrests LGBT protesters, prompting criticism Cleve Jones ‘dismayed’ by developments By MICHAEL K. LAVERS MLAVERS@WASHBLADE.COM

it as a “show organized from Miami and (the Cuban city of) Matanzas, backed by officials at the U.S. embassy and covered by the foreign press.” Independent activists in the days leading up to the march received text messages from state security officials that told them not to attend it. Police on Saturday also prevented some of them from leaving their homes in order to attend the march in Havana and other unsanctioned IDAHOBiT marches that were scheduled to take place elsewhere in the country. The Blade later confirmed authorities detained Juana Mora Cedeño, an independent LGBTI activist who met with then-President Obama in Havana in 2016, and others to prevent them from attending the Havana march. Sources who attended CENESEX’s annual IDAHOBiT gala in Havana on Friday — where San Francisco-based activist Cleve Jones was honored — said the organization encouraged attendees to attend a party that was to have begun on Saturday at 4 p.m., the same time the unsanctioned march was to have begun. Francisco Rodríguez Cruz, a pro-government gay Cuban blogger who writes under the pen name Paquito el de Cuba, posted onto his Facebook page a picture of him and his family with Jones at the event. “With Cleve Jones, one of the historic leaders of the LGBTI movement in the United States and CENESEX honoree this year, after speaking to the crowd about the rights of all human rights and committing to fight against the U.S. embargo against Cuba,” wrote Rodríguez. This year’s IDAHOBiT commemorations in Cuba are taking place against the

backdrop of increased tensions between Havana and Washington over the government’s continued support of Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro. The country’s worsening economic situation has also prompted food rationing, a shortage of fuel and blackouts. Authorities arrested Luz Escobar, a reporter for 14ymedio, an independent website founded by Yoani Sánchez, a prominent critic of the Cuban government, as she tried to interview victims of a freak tornado that tore through parts of Havana in January. Jones on Tuesday said he is “dismayed” by the arrests of several people during the LGBT. Jones, who is based in San Francisco, and Rainbow World Fund Executive Director Jeff Cotter in a statement said they “are saddened by the” Cuban government’s decision to cancel two International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia marches that were scheduled to take place in Havana and the city of Camagüey “due to pressure from antiLGBTQ fundamentalist Christians who oppose the significant advancements that LGBTQ people have made in Cuban society. “Secondly, we are dismayed by the government’s attempt to shut down an alternative conga organized by independent LGBTQ activists and the arrests of some participants of that event,” added Jones and Cotter. Jones was to have been the grand marshal of the Havana IDAHOBiT parade organized by the National Center for Sexual Education, an organization within the Cuban Ministry of Public Health that Mariela Castro, the daughter of former Cuban President Raúl Castro, directs.

Cuba blocks Blade reporter from entering country

CLEVE JONES on May 14, said he is ‘dismayed’ by the arrests that took place at an unsanctioned LGBT march in Havana over the weekend. The National Center for Sexual Education, an organization directed by the daughter of former Cuban President Raúl Castro, honored Jones during its International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia commemorations. Photo by Gil Goldstein via Wikimedia Commons

Cuban police on Saturday arrested several people during an unsanctioned LGBT march in Havana. The march began in Havana’s Central Park near the Cuban Capitol shortly after 4 p.m. Videos that independent Cuban journalists and activists posted online showed dozens of people — some with Pride flags — marching down Havana’s Prado Avenue toward the oceanfront. Videos posted to social media show police officers arresting march participants. Maykel González Vivero, publisher of Tremenda Nota, the Washington Blade’s

media partner in Cuba who was covering the march, said police arrested five people. Independent LGBTI activists organized the march less that a week after the National Center for Sexual Education, a group directed by Mariela Castro, the daughter of former President Raúl Castro, announced it had cancelled its annual International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia march in Havana that was to have taken place on Saturday. Mariela Castro earlier this week said the “opposition in Miami” was organizing the unsanctioned march. Mariela Castro on Sunday in a Facebook post described

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In a related development, Cuban authorities on May 8 refused to allow Washington Blade International News Editor Michael K. Lavers to enter the country. Lavers arrived at Havana’s José Marti International Airport on an American Airlines flight from Miami shortly before noon EST. A customs agent pulled him aside and a supervisor took his passport. The supervisor’s colleague approached Lavers about 15 minutes later and asked him how many times he has been to Cuba, what his profession is and why did he come to the country. The official informed Lavers the Cuban government was not going to allow him into the country. Lavers asked the official why and he said his name appeared on a list without any additional explanation. Lavers spent more than six hours in the customs hall before he boarded an American Airlines flight to Miami shortly before 7 p.m. His iPhone was confiscated shortly after 3 p.m., but he was able to text contacts in the country through his Cuban cell phone. Lavers was not officially detained. Lavers has traveled to Cuba seven times since 2015, with his most recent trip from Feb. 28-March 4 of this year on a “tourist card.” Lavers has filed dozens of stories from Cuba after authorities allowed him to enter the country with both press visas and a “tourist card.” “We are deeply disappointed in this action by the Cuban government,” said Washington Blade editor Kevin Naff. “The Blade has traveled to Cuba seven times in four years covering the plight of the LGBTQ community and we are committed to fair, accurate journalism. Barring our reporter from the country is a disturbing development that we hope is an aberration that will be remedied.” STAFF REPORTS

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Study finds gonorrhoa passed through kissing ADELAIDE, Australia — The act of kissing has been revealed as a previously neglected route for the transmission of gonorrhoea among men who have sex with men (MSM), Cosmos magazine and other outlets report. A questionnaire-based study led by Eric Chow from Monash University in Melbourne, Australia, published in the journal BMJ Sexually Transmitted Infections, found that men who kissed multiple male partners in a three-month period had between 46-81 percent higher odds of contracting throat, or oropharyngeal, gonorrhoea compared to men who kissed only one partner or didn’t kiss men with whom they had sex, Cosmos reports. “These data suggest that kissing may be associated with transmission of oropharyngeal gonorrhoea in MSM, irrespective of whether sex also occurs,” the researchers conclude. To make the finding, Chow and colleagues invited gay and bisexual clients to a major public sexual health service in Melbourne to fill out a survey regarding sexual encounters over the preceding three months. The questions asked whether, and how often, intimate encounters with other men involved kissing-only, kissing with sex or sex without kissing, Cosmos reports. The exercise ran throughout 2016 and more than 3,000 men agreed to do the paperwork. Among the cohort, just over 6 percent presented with throat gonorrhoea. The highest rates were among men who had four or more partners who kissed, whether or not sex occurred, Cosmos reports.

Calif. sex ed. gets LGBT-affirmative overhaul SACRAMENTO, Calif. — California has overhauled its sex education guidance for public school teachers, encouraging them to talk about gender identity with kindergartners and give advice to LGBT teenagers for navigating relationships and having safe sex, the Associated Press reports. LGBT advocates praised the new recommendations for giving attention to a community that is often left out of sex education policies. But some parents and conservative groups assailed the more than 700-page document as an assault on parental rights, arguing it exposes children to ideas about sexuality and gender that should be taught at home, the AP reports.

The guidance approved last week by the California State Board of Education does not require educators to teach anything. It is designed as a guide for teachers to meet state standards on health education, such as nutrition, physical activity and combating alcohol and drug abuse, the AP reports. But it’s the parts about sex that got the most attention during a public hearing on May 8. The framework tells teachers that students in kindergarten can identify as transgender and offers tips for how to talk about that, adding “the goal is not to cause confusion about the gender of the child but to develop an awareness that other expressions exist,” the AP reports. It gives tips for discussing masturbation with middle-schoolers, including telling them it is not physically harmful, and for discussing puberty with transgender teens that creates “an environment that is inclusive and challenges binary concepts about gender,” the AP reports. Many residents spoke against the curriculum during a lengthy meeting last week.

Trans women at higher risk for breast cancer LONDON — Transgender women increase their risk of getting breast cancer by taking hormones, research suggests according to a Daily Mail (U.K.) article. People assigned a male gender at birth but who take estrogen to transition are more likely to get breast cancer than men. Meanwhile, transgender men lower their risk of breast cancer by taking testosterone, a study has revealed. The research follows previous studies that have shown that hormone replacement therapy (HRT) increases the risk of breast cancer in menopausal women, the Daily Mail reports. The study, published in the British Medical Journal, suggested hormone treatment could similarly increase risk of breast cancer among transgender women. Breast cancer is the most common cancer in the U.K., with about 55,000 women and 400 men diagnosed each year, the Daily Mail reports. Scientists at the University Medical Centre in Amsterdam investigated rates of breast cancer in nearly 3,500 transgender people receiving hormone treatment compared with the general Dutch population. Of the 2,260 transgender women they looked at, 15 were diagnosed with invasive breast cancer, a higher rate than the general male population. In 1,229 transgender men, there were four cases of invasive breast cancer, a lower rate than among the general female population, the Daily Mail reports.

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CELEBRATING 26 YEARS OF SERVICE TO GENERATIONS OF RESIDENTS AND VISITORS TO REHOBOTH BEACH, DE!

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KATHI WOLFE

is a regular contributor to the Blade and winner of the 2014 Stonewall Chapbook competition.

RICHARD J. ROSENDALL

is a writer and activist. Reach him at rrosendall@starpower.net.

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PETER ROSENSTEIN

is a D.C.-based LGBT rights and Democratic Party activist. He writes regularly for the Blade.

KATHI WOLFE

RICHARD J. ROSENDALL

is a regular contributor to the Blade and winner of the 2014 Stonewall Chapbook competition.

is a writer and activist. Reach him at rrosendall@starpower.net.

Rest now in our hearts Defusing Donnie’s forever, Doris Day deadly toys Iconic actress was inspiration and friend to queer audiences Recently, I was glued to the TV. And, I wasn’t watching “Game of Thrones.” I was streaming the 1956 Alfred Hitchcock thriller “The Man Who Knew Too Much,” starring James Stewart and Doris Day. In the movie, an American doctor (Stewart) and his wife, a former singer, (Day) and their little boy are on vacation in North Africa. Their child has been kidnapped. I barely breathed as Day, reaching out to her son, sings “Que Sera, Sera,” one of her signature songs. Day, a singer known for such tunes as the 1945 hit “Sentimental Journey” and one of the most popular movie stars of the 1950s and 1960s, died at age 97 on May 13 at her Carmel Valley, Calif. home. She was iconic to many in the queer community. The Doris Day Animal Foundation said that Day, an animal welfare advocate, had contracted pneumonia. Day was beloved by many: Servicemen in World War II found comfort when they listened to “Sentimental Journey.” Everyone from married couples to people dating enjoyed her as she portrayed sunny, wholesome, yet sexy and smart (but never know-it-all) women in romantic comedies. People tuned into Day’s TV sitcom “The Doris Day Show.” She is most known for her work with Rock Hudson in the comedies “Pillow Talk” (for which she received her only Academy Award nomination), “Lover Came Back” and “Send Me No Flowers.” In these frothy farces, Day refuses to be seduced by Hudson. “Give me space to get over the idea of you/the thrilling silver voice,/,” John Updike wrote in a poem to Doris Day called “Her Coy Lover Sings Out,” “the gigantic silver screen/Go easy on me.” It’s easy to dismiss Day’s work as being too frivolous or sexually repressed. “I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin,” quipped composer and showbiz personality Oscar Levant. Growing up, I didn’t think much of Day’s movies. Being way too earnest then, I thought her ﬁlms were mere ﬂuff. Day

seemed like a nice woman, but outdated. To me, she was a throwback to the 1950s and a more sexist time. Now, when I watch “Pillow Talk” or “Lover Come Back” I wonder what I was thinking. True, Day was jumping into bed with Hudson. But their repartee is fun and, for the time, sexy. People thought she was squeaky clean, but “when we began ‘Pillow Talk’ we thought we’d ruin our careers because the script was pretty daring stuff,” Hudson said of Day. In the 39 movies that she made, Day often played women who worked. She was a decorator in “Pillow Talk” and an advertising executive in “Lover Come Back.” Many queer women have relished watching Day play a sharpshooter in the musical “Calamity Jane.” Day was “challenging the limited destiny of women to marry, live happily ever after and never be heard from again,” wrote Molly Haskell in “Holding My Own in No Man’s Land.” She gave us hope in the 1950s, Grace Cavalieri, Maryland’s poet laureate, said to me over the phone. “We saw her working. We wanted to be like her,” she said. Day was loyal to her friends. The queer community will never forget how Day supported Hudson. In 1985, shortly before his AIDS diagnosis was made public, he was a guest on Day’s TV show “Doris Day’s Best Friends.” At a time when President Ronald Reagan refused to say the word “AIDS” publicly, Day stood by Hudson. “He was very sick,” Day told interviewers, “But I just brushed that off and I came out and put my arms around him and said, ‘Am I glad to see you.’” “Rest now in our hearts forever, Ms. Day,” Tweeted George Takei. “One of my all time favorite stars has joined the heavenly choir,” Elaine Page Tweeted. “You were a beacon of talent, beauty, grace, and love,” Tweeted Michael Feinstein. Thank you, Doris! R.I.P.

For now, let’s take fireworks follies over a real war America has become a graveyard of entitlement where a fraudulent president’s impulsiveness and ineptitude, riding on his horse Boastful Ignorance, has left our reputation in a state similar to the limestone relief sculptures atop the old Bonwit Teller building: smashed for the sheer spiteful pleasure of it. More than our good name is imperiled. Despite grousing over John Bolton’s interventionist stance on Venezuela, 45 retains his national security adviser, who is busy ratcheting up tensions with Iran. Belligerence, bluster, and alienating allies are Bolton‘s gift to unhinged statecraft. Meanwhile, instead of reading his daily brief, Genghis Con is launching tweet storms, reorganizing Washington’s Independence Day celebration into a rally about himself, and promising fireworks next year at Mount Rushmore. He suggested launching the District’s display from a barge in the Potomac. He should consider lighting it himself. We don’t like to admit that there is such a thing as an American empire, despite our military expenditures being roughly equal to those of the next eight countries combined. Trump’s July 4 preparations are a substitute for the brassy military parade he craved. We can put another burger on the grill and chase him from our minds, but for all his clownery he is rattling enough sabers to start several wars. This is where faith comes in. Rev. William H. Lamar IV, pastor of Washington’s Metropolitan African Methodist Episcopal Church, told The Washington Post in August 2017, “The movement of Jesus was violently persecuted by Rome and religious leaders who served as chaplains to the empire.” Today, he says, “Churches and preachers who claim to be apolitical are usually firmly aligned with the politics of American empire.” At a May 10 memorial service for former Congressman Ron Dellums, he said that Dellums, like the biblical Daniel, had “refused to eat the king’s meat”—meaning he put his conscience before political expediency. So far in May, our wannabe king backed North Korea after it fired projectiles in the direction of Japan. He talked of ordering DOJ to investigate Democratic presidential frontrunner Joe Biden and former Secretary of State John Kerry. He joked about shooting immigrants. He expanded a “conscience rule” to allow medical

workers to deny care to women, LGBT people, and others they revile. After The New York Times reported that this dubious billionaire’s core businesses lost $1.17 billion from 1985 to 1994, he made a boast of it. His personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani, planned to ask Ukraine to interfere in the 2020 election on his behalf before backing off and blaming Democrats. The presidential vandal and his agents are impeding 20 different inquiries. At the state level, Trump’s bellicosity and court packing have encouraged insidious measures like Georgia’s HB481, signed last week by Gov. Brian Kemp, which states, “It shall be the policy of the State of Georgia to recognize unborn children as natural persons.” Kathleen Crowther writes in the Post, “[N]ot only will abortions be treated as murders, but miscarriages will be subject to criminal investigation, as they already are in a number of states.” Fear of women and ignorance of biology, with the accelerant of Trumpism, make the totalitarian society of The Handmaid’s Tale seem current. Georgia’s law also criminalizes transporting women to other states for abortions. We may need to start a new Underground Railroad. Trump’s bubble is forever threatening to burst. The Post reported on May 9, “A federal judge will fast-track a decision on President Trump’s bid to quash a House subpoena for financial records from his accounting firm, saying he will decide the full case, not just whether to temporarily block the subpoena while the case proceeds.” Bloomberg reported on May 10, “President Donald Trump’s 25 percent tariff on goods from China could hurt exactly what the tax was intended to encourage in the first place: more manufacturing on U.S. soil.” Enacting policies that serve America’s diverse people instead of fanatics and corporations requires winning elections. The GOP’s organized theft of labor, healthcare, votes, courts, and dignity is almost beyond comprehension; but we’d better steel our resistance if we favor a republic. As Pastor Lamar said after Charlottesville, “Every justice is costly. But the history of America and the world proves that injustice is costlier.” Copyright © 2019 by Richard J. Rosendall. All rights reserved.

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Keep your promise to protect each other.

PETER ROSENSTEIN

is a D.C.-based LGBT rights and Democratic Party activist. He writes regularly for the Blade.

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Does any candidate stand for separation of church and state?

I am looking for the candidate with the guts in 2019 to quote JFK’s 1960 speech on separation of church and state and say he/she agrees with it. The recent frontpage Washington Post headline, “Teaching Scripture in the public schools,” was chilling to me. The column reported on the Bible being taught in Kentucky public schools and went on to report legislation like that in Kentucky that permits this in public schools is making its way through at least 10 state legislatures promoted by the religious right legislative effort called Project Blitz. Apparently the Georgia and Arkansas legislatures have passed similar bills now waiting for their governors to sign them into law. Of course President Trump weighed in with a Tweet, “Numerous states introducing bible literacy classes, giving students the option of studying the bible. Starting to make a turn back. Great!” The question is turn back to what? Surely Trump doesn’t know or care other than his most ardent supporters like this. It’s funny when Trump talks about religion — he being a generally disgusting pig who thinks the Ten Commandments are only for others. We know he has violated at a minimum the third, “Thou shalt keep the Sabbath Holy;” sixth, “Thou shalt not commit adultery;” seventh, “Thou shalt not steal;” and eighth, “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” appointment@citydentaldc.com I am old enough to remember Sept. 12, 1960 when John F. Kennedy as the A D V E R T I first S I NCatholic G PRO OF candidate for president was forced to address his religious beliefs. The ISSUE DATE: 10.26.12 SALES REPRESENTATIVE: BRIAN PITTS (bpitts@washblade.com) fear at the time being his decisions would REVIEW AD FOR COPY AND DESIGN ACCURACY. Revisions must be submitted within 24 hours of the date of be impacted or even directed by the Pope. proof. Proof will be considered final and will be submitted for publication if revision is not submitted within 24 hours of the date of proof. Revisions will not be accepted after 12:01 pm wednesday, the week of publication.Brown naff pitts NS omnimedia llc (dba the washington blade) is not responsible for the content and/or design of your ad. Advertiser is I want us as a nation to go back to what responsible for any legal liability arising out of or relating to the advertisement, and/or any material to which users GN 1221 Massachusetts Ave., NW can link through the advertisement. Advertiser represents that its advertisement will not violate any criminal laws or Kennedy believed about religion’s place in EVISIONS any rgihts of third parties, including, but not limited to, such violations as infringement or misapporpriation of any copyright, patent, trademark, trade secret, music, image, or other proprietary or propety right, false advertising, unfair /LOGO REVISIONS 703defamation, D St.,invasion NW politics. Kennedy said, “While the so-called competition, of privacy or rights of celebrity, violation of anti-discrimination law or regulation, or any other right of any person or entity. Advertiser agrees to idemnify brown naff pitts omnimedia llc (dba the ADVERTISER SIGNATURE SIONS washington blade) and to hold brown naff pitts omnimedia llc (dba the washington blade) harmless from any and all By signing this proof you are agreeing to your contractissue obligations the religious iswith necessarily and properly the liability, loss, damages, claims, or causes of action, including reasonable legal fees and expenses that may be incurred washington blade newspaper. This includes but is not limited to placement, by brown naff pittsPlz., omnimedia llc, arising or related to advertiser’s breach of any of the foregoing representations payment and insertion schedule. 955 L’Enfant SW PRout of#325 chief topic here tonight, I want to emphasize and warranties. from the outset that we have far more critical issues to face in the 1960 election: the spread of Communist influence … the hungry children I saw in West Virginia; the old people who cannot pay their doctor bills; the families forced to give up their farms; In-Network with most PPOs an America with too many slums, with too few schools, and too late to the moon and outer space. These are the real issues which should decide this campaign. And they are

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not religious issues — for war and hunger and ignorance and despair know no religious barriers. But because I am a Catholic, and no Catholic has ever been elected president, the real issues in this campaign have been obscured — perhaps deliberately, in some quarters less responsible than this. So it is apparently necessary for me to state once again not what kind of church I believe in — for that should be important only to me — but what kind of America I believe in. I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute, where no Catholic prelate would tell the president (should he be Catholic) how to act, and no Protestant minister would tell his parishioners for whom to vote; where no church or church school is granted any public funds or political preference; and where no man is denied public office merely because his religion differs from the president who might appoint him or the people who might elect him.” He went on to say “Finally, I believe in an America where religious intolerance will someday end; where all men and all churches are treated as equal; where every man has the same right to attend or not attend the church of his choice; where there is no Catholic vote, no anti-Catholic vote, no bloc voting of any kind; and where Catholics, Protestants and Jews, at both the lay and pastoral level, will refrain from those attitudes of disdain and division which have so often marred their works in the past, and promote instead the American ideal of brotherhood.” So I am looking for the candidate with the courage to say those words today. Is there a candidate out there who doesn’t play to religious voting blocs? A candidate who when the religious right speaks out loudly rather than saying the religious left should rise up against what they say rather calls on all decent people to rise up and speak out. Where is the candidate who will quote the words of our Founding Fathers from the First Amendment to the Constitution, which states, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof” and follow that with what JFK said nearly 60 years ago to explain what those words mean to them.

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Rehoboth calling! Steve Elkins Way was dedicated earlier this month connecting Baltimore Avenue to the Convention Center in Rehoboth Beach. Photo by John Bator

For the LGBTQ community the summer season in Rehoboth Beach begins the weekend before Memorial Day with the Washington Blade’s summer kick-off party at the Blue Moon on Friday, May, 17 from 5-7 p.m with guest speaker and native Delawarean Sarah McBride, national press secretary for HRC and the first openly trans person to speak at a major party presidential nominating convention. Join the fun and make a donation to the Blade Foundation, which funds reporting on the community around the world and provides fellowships and scholarships to aspiring LGBTQ journalists. It will be a great season at the beach and it’s time to begin planning your summer now. Rehoboth is now a year-round community but for those magical times nothing compares to being there between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Summer at the beach, the mile-long boardwalk, Thrashers fries, salt water taffy, and acres of sand with hot bodies galore make Rehoboth the place to be. Each year I head to Rehoboth in April to walk around town to see what’s new and visit old standbys. A stop in CAMP Rehoboth, the LGBT community center, on Baltimore Avenue is always a good idea to preview the summer schedule and get the latest gossip. This year CAMP is in the process of conducting a national search for a new executive director. On May 4, the town honored CAMP’s former Executive Director Steve Elkins, who passed away last year, by naming the path from the Convention Center to Baltimore Avenue Steve Elkins Way. The gayest block in Rehoboth, Baltimore Avenue, will be more exciting than ever this year with the opening of The Pines. Tyler Townsend, Bob Suppies and David Gonce have made this new hotspot the place to visit when at the beach for an

inventive cocktail or memorable dinner. Brunch is now available, too, with its own list of unique cocktails. Upstairs, Top of The Pines has a piano bar and outside deck, which in the summer will provide a good view of what is going on over at Aqua Grill the other fun place on the 2nd Street end of Baltimore Avenue. Andres Bonell and Bill Shields will open Aqua Grill on Friday, May 17 and will have the new hot lineup of waiters serving drinks on the deck. Returning this year are AJ and Katie. Aqua will again have VIP cards so stop by and pick one up when they open. Happy hour on the Aqua deck has become the place to be seen on nice summer evenings. They have a simple but excellent low-priced food menu. Strolling down Baltimore Avenue toward the beach there are many other places to eat and shop. First the Iguana Grill, a fun bar and restaurant back to its old excellence under Hugh Fuller’s ownership. Of course, the grand dame of Rehoboth restaurants, the Blue Moon where Executive Chef Lion Gardner creates his magic. Pamala Stanley is again back to entertain in the bar five nights a week, including her ever-popular and packed Sunday tea dance. There are plenty of shops, including the Philip Morton Gallery with fine art and beautiful eclectic furniture and Peter Antolini, the most knowledgeable person at the beach when it comes to art and furniture. In the CAMP courtyard there is the Ward Ellinger Gallery, which has doubled its space this year. Also in the courtyard is Lori’s Café celebrating its 23rd season and still offering the best chicken salad in town (and they deliver lunches to the beach). Further down the block is Elegant Slumming owned by Philip Livingston, designer of the most stunning jewelry you can find anywhere. Then there is Beach Essentials, which has a great selection of men’s swimsuits and clothing. You can also stop in to One Day At a Time Gift Shop, which offers 12-Step addiction recovery items, LGBT

Summer is here and our favorite beach getaway is teeming with attractions By PETER ROSENSTEIN novelties and gifts. Continue toward the beach and you get to Eden, a wonderful fine dining restaurant, and its more casual cousin Jam. Across the street is Café Azafran, featuring Holly Lane, a two-time past winner of Best Rehoboth Bartender in the annual Blade Best Of competition. Holly sings every Thursday night and is accompanied on the keyboard by the very talented John Flynn who now entertains in a number of places around town. Then there is Megan Kee’s La Fable, a fabulous French restaurant. Walking on First Street between Baltimore and Wilmington Avenues you should stop first in Mel’s Brashhh, celebrating its fifth anniversary with great trendy clothing, original photography and gifts. Crossing over Rehoboth Avenue you come to the Frog Pond, which frequently features live bands and then Goolee’s Grille which has the best breakfasts and a weekly drag brunch along with a gift and card shop. Tell owner George that the Blade sent you. If you walk along Rehoboth Avenue from the boardwalk you will find another whole group of great shops and restaurants. From the iconic Back Porch restaurant walk a few steps to Steve Fallon’s Gidget’s Gadgets, now the home of a huge selection of vinyl records along with lots of other fun stuff. Then head to the ever-popular Purple Parrot Restaurant and Biergarten celebrating its 20th anniversary this year. Owner Hugh Fuller is celebrating with great specials and the always smart, hot Chandler is now the manager. Jamie and Matt, both past winners of the Blade’s Best Rehoboth Bartender award, are serving drinks at the bar. Then make a stop at Critter Beach and pick up something for your dog or cat, they have everything your animal could ever want. Don’t miss visiting Diego’s Hideaway, the old Double L leather bar, now with a spruced up outdoor patio and lots of fun owned by Darryl and Joe Ciarlante-Zuber.

Rehoboth has a number of mews but don’t miss the one between Rehoboth and Baltimore Avenues, it’s next to Browseabout Books on Rehoboth Avenue where you can get your morning paper. In the mews is the Coffee Mill, now celebrating its 27th year, with its unrivaled selection of coffees by the cup or take home a few pounds of beans. They have a great menu to go with your coffee. The third commercial block in Rehoboth is Wilmington Avenue from 2nd street to the boardwalk. There you will find Confucius, the Henlopen City Oyster House, Salt Air, Mariachi, and Azzurro Italian Oven and Bar with its upstairs patio all confirming it is still a great block to have a meal. Ask for Amber upstairs at Azzurro, a future Best Rehoboth Bartender in the making, and tell her the Blade sent you. But Rehoboth is more than restaurants and shops. Among other attractions, there is the Rehoboth Art League, which puts on a great art exhibit each summer and don’t miss seeing a show at Clear Space Theatre. This summer they are boasting a remarkable lineup of plays including Mama Mia, Hello Dolly and The Wedding Singer all under the direction of their incredibly talented Artistic Director David Button. So make sure you plan to spend plenty of time at the beach this summer. If you are one of those people who dread sitting in beach traffic there is a better option. Leave your car at home and take Best Bus, with convenient stops in Rehoboth and Dewey beginning Memorial Day weekend and running through Labor Day from Dupont Circle and Union Station. With free Wi-Fi and ample AC and USB outlets, you can be productive and leave the driving to them. They also have a good weekend schedule from New York to the beach. Remember Rehoboth Beach has something for everyone, so make your plans to join the fun.

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Bustling Rehoboth summer THE KINSEY SICKS performs July 20 at the Rehoboth Beach Convention Center. Photo by Vixen Pin-up Photography

As D.C.’s signature sweltering summer approaches, make plans to take a minivacation in Rehoboth Beach, Del. From book signings and art auctions to dance parties, there’s plenty of upcoming events for your ultimate gay beach getaway. Blue Moon (35 Baltimore Ave., Rehoboth Beach, Del.) presents its Legends Show every Saturday at 9:30 p.m. The cast will portray legendary singer such as Patti Labelle, Aretha Franklin, Elton John and Etta James. Each week is a different show with original choreography. Admission is free. For more information, visit bluemoonrehoboth.com. Blue Moon (35 Baltimore Ave., Rehoboth Beach, Del.) hosts Sunday Tea with singer Pamala Stanley every Sunday at 6 p.m. For details, visit bluemoonrehoboth.com. The Pines (56 Baltimore Ave., Rehoboth Beach, Del.) has Wine Mondays all summer long with wines by the glass half off. For details, visit thepinesrb.com. Purple Parrot Grill (134 Rehoboth Ave., Rehoboth Beach, Del.) has karaoke every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Monday night at 9 p.m. Every Sunday at 10 p.m. there will be the “Birdcage Girls Drag Show” hosted by Julia Sugarbaker. For more information, visit ppgrill.com. Diego’s Hideaway presents a Memorial Day weekend party. On Thursday, May 23 from 9 p.m.- 2 a.m. DJ Steve Sidewalk will play music. DJ Riddic and DJ Biff will play music on Saturday and Sunday. For more details, visit diegosbarnightclub.com. Browseabout Books hosts an author luncheon with “Queen of the Beach Reads” author Mary Kay Andrews at the Crab House (19598 Coastal Highway, Rehoboth Beach, Del.) on Saturday, May 25 from noon3 p.m. Andrews will discuss her new book

“Sunset Beach,” answer questions and take photographs with attendees.Tickets are $55 and include an autographed copy of her book “Sunset Beach,” lunch and a nonalcoholic beverage and a Browseabout canvas tote bag. For more information, visit browseaboutbooks.com. Browseabout Books (133 Rehoboth Ave., Rehoboth Beach, Del.) hosts an author signing with Jackson Coppley for “The Code Hunters” on Saturday, May 25 from 2-5 p.m. “The Code Hunters” tells the story of a group of scientists who discover a 10,000-year-old tablet with mysterious codes from the future. They must race from the western U.S. to the Mediterranean to search for missing pieces while being tracked by men who want the codes. Visit browseaboutbooks.com for more details. Camp Rehoboth (37 Baltimore Ave., Rehoboth Beach, Del.) presents “Best Shot from Africa,” a photography exhibit, on display from June 8-30. Forty people joined Murray Archibald for safaris in South Africa and Botswana. Every traveler selected their best “shot from Africa” which will be displayed. There will also be a reception with the photographers on June 22 from 1-3 p.m. Proceeds from photo sales will benefit Camp Rehoboth’s arts programming with a portion of proceeds being donated to converge indigenous wildlife that was observed on the safaris. For more information, visit camprehoboth.com. “Voices from Stonewall,” a theatrical tribute to the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots, will have performances at Camp Rehoboth (37 Baltimore Ave., Rehoboth Beach, Del.) on Saturday, June 22 at 4 and 7 p.m. The show, written by Michael Gilles and Fay Jacobs, will star Michael and Sally Giles, Eloise Ullman and more as they bring the words of the bar patrons,

No shortage of things to do between weekly specials, arts performances, bar parties and more By MARIAH COOPER protestors and the stories of reporters who witnessed the uprising to life. Tickets are $20 and benefit Camp Rehoboth. Visit camprehboth.com for details. CAMP Rehoboth (37 Baltimore Ave., Rehoboth Beach, Del.) hosts Families Pride Weekend on June 28-30. The weekend begins with Parents Night Out on Friday with babysitting offered by the YMCA. On Saturday, families can enjoy a boat ride, story time from Rehoboth Public Library, beach bonfire and dinner and a group trip to Funland on the boardwalk. Sunday kicks off with brunch, free time to explore Rehoboth, dinner and drag bingo at Camp Rehoboth Community Center followed by an evening trip to Funland. Adult tickets are $50 and include one Camp Families Pride Weekend T-shirt and admission to the family welcome party at Camp Rehoboth, beach bonfire and dinner, brunch at Camp Rehoboth and dinner and bingo. Child tickets are $35 and include one T-shirt and admission to the family welcome party at Camp Rehoboth, beach bonfire and dinner, brunch at Camp Rehoboth and dinner and drag bingo. The boat ride takes place on Saturday, June 29 from 10 a.m.-noon. Boat ride tickets are $20 and sold separately. Babysitting provided by YMCA is also a separate fee for Parents Night Out. For more details, visit camprehoboth.com. The Kinsey Sicks perform at the Rehoboth Beach Convention Center (229 Rehoboth Ave., Rehoboth Beach, Del.) on Saturday, July 20 at 8 p.m. The Dragapella Beautyshop Quartet’s new musical will delve into Trumpism, racism, AIDS, Bette Midler and more.Tickets range from $35-500 and proceeds benefit CAMP Rehoboth. For more information, visit camprehoboth.com.

Gay Women of Rehoboth meet for coffee and conversation at Java Jukebox (37169 Rehoboth Ave., Rehoboth Beach, Del.) on Sunday, July 28 from 10 a.m.noon. This is an open event for attendees to meet other Gay Women of Rehoboth members. For details, search “Gay Women of Rehoboth” on Eventbrite. Camp Rehoboth hosts Sundance 2019: Ultraviolet Disco Day-Glo Sunrise for a two-night event at Rehoboth Beach Convention Center (229 Rehoboth Ave., Rehoboth, Beach, Del.) on Saturday, Aug. 31 and Sunday, Sept. 1. The Sundance Auction is on Saturday from 6-9 p.m. There will be an open bar, silent and live auction with music provided by Stephen Strasser. On Sunday, the Sundance, which includes two parties, is from 7 p.m.-2 a.m. Open bar runs all night. DJ Joe Gauthreaux will spin tracks for one party. Studio54 DJ Robbie Leslie will also play music for the Sundance Disco Twilight Tea which also starts at 7 p.m. Admission is $90 for both the dances and auction or $50 for one event. Proceeds will benefit Camp Rehoboth. For more details, visit camprehoboth.com. Rehoboth Beach Bear Weekend is at the Atlantic Sands Hotel & Conference Center (1 Baltimore Ave., Rehoboth Beach, Del.) is Sept. 19-22. On Thursday, there will be a meet and greet cocktail reception. Tickets are $25. On Friday at 7 p.m., there will be a dance party at the Atlantic Sands Hotel and Convention Center Ballroom. Tickets are $25. Saturday, the group will jump on the bear bus to spend a day at the beach and travel to Gordon’s Pond. Tickets are $25. Saturday night there will be a comedy show ($40) at 7 and 9 p.m. Sunday closes out the weekend with a closing party ($5). A full weekend pass is $115. For more information, search “Rehoboth Beach Bear Weekend” on eventbrite.

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Performance pleasures MAGNOLIA APPLEBOTTOM (left) and PAMALA STANLEY say performing in Rehoboth Beach is different from anywhere else because of the audiences. Washington Blade photo by John Bator

It wouldn’t be summer in Rehoboth without the legendary Pamala Stanley and — in more recent years — drag virtuoso Magnolia Applebottom (aka Jeremy Bernstein). Rehoboth regulars know what it’s like to experience them in performance, but what’s it like from their perspective? Just for fun, we turned the tables on them to find out. Stanley performs cabaret and dance at the Blue Moon (35 Baltimore Ave., Rehoboth Beach, Del.) Sundays-Thursdays from 6-8:30 p.m. all summer and into September. Climax with Magnolia is Sunday nights at 9:30. Full details at bluemoonrehoboth.com. WASHINGTON BLADE: How long have you been in Rehoboth and what drew you here? MAGNOLIA APPLEBOTTOM: I have been visiting Rehoboth since I was a teenager. I moved to the beach in 2015 after I started working at the Blue Moon full time. Rehoboth Beach has always felt like home to me. I’ve always felt comfortable and safe. The community was welcoming from the start so I knew I had to live here. PAMALA STANLEY: I first came to Rehoboth in the ’90s and played at The Renegade. Then I was booked in Puerta Vallarta and Tim and Randy, owners of the Blue Moon, saw me perform and asked if I could come to Rehoboth. That was 14 years ago. I fell in love with this sweet town and although I still perform around the country, I call this my musical home. BLADE: When you’re not working, what’s your favorite Rehoboth Beach activity? APPLEBOTTOM: I always enjoy walking Rehoboth Avenue and the boardwalk. It’s exciting to see what new shops and restaurants open every year. And having cocktails is fun too! STANLEY: Walking on the boardwalk or having a lovely drink looking at the water. BLADE: What’s a hidden gem in Rehoboth? APPLEBOTTOM: That’s easy! Games

Rehoboth’s leading ladies of entertainment Pamala Stanley and Magnolia Applebottom give us the lowdown on summer ’19 with Magnolia at the Blue Moon. It’s a oneof-a-kind game show live on stage every Wednesday at 9:30 starting July 3rd! There is nothing else like it in town. STANLEY: The North Beach and our beautiful park on the ocean. BLADE: What’s the best meal you ever had in Rehoboth? APPLEBOTTOM: The filet mignon at the Blue Moon is the best steak I’ve ever had. Chef Lion always provides the best dining experience in town. STANLEY: The lamb at the Blue Moon. I think they are amazing. BLADE: What performer inspires you? APPLEBOTTOM: I’ve always been a fan of comedy. I have a long list of idols such as Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett and Joan Rivers. These comedy queens have inspired my character in every way. STANLEY: Bette Midler BLADE: What’s your most memorable moment on the Blue Moon stage? APPLEBOTTOM: Every moment on stage is memorable however it’s the moments when I leave the stage and mingle with the crowd and I get the chance to talk to everyone. Hearing how I made someone’s night just a little bit better or knowing I put a smile on someone’s face makes getting ready for two hours totally worth it. And also any moment I share the stage with Pamala Stanley. You never know what she is going to say so you have to be on it at all times. I adore that woman. STANLEY: Singing this New Year’s Eve with my two sisters Sandra and Robin. It was magical and the crowd was so happy. BLADE: What’s something you see other performers do that you find off-putting or bothersome? APPLEBOTTOM: When a drag queen takes their wig off while performing is my biggest pet peeve. It totally ruins the

illusion and is just plain messy. STANLEY: Not having eye contact with the audience or singing flat. That kills my ears. BLADE: What’s your current favorite song to cover or lip sync to? APPLEBOTTOM: I am in love with “Juice” by Lizzo. It’s so much fun to sing and the lyrics are perfect for Magnolia! STANLEY: “The Middle” BLADE: How would you describe Rehoboth LGBT audiences? APPLEBOTTOM: So loyal. The support the community shows local entertainment is very gratifying. I can’t wait to see and perform for our fans every week. STANLEY: The best ever — they are fun and engaged and just looking for a good time. BLADE: What are you most excited about for summer ’19? APPLEBOTTOM: Meeting new people and debuting my new Sunday night show “CLIMAX” for the summer crowd. STANLEY: The people returning from all over. I love seeing old friends and meeting new ones. I never know what an audience is going to bring to the table. Each night is unique, like a first date. BLADE: To what do you attribute your ongoing popularity? APPLEBOTTOM: Being a hard-working queen. I’m the self-proclaimed hardest working drag queen in Delaware and it shows. I’m always working on new material and always striving to give the audience a fresh Magnolia Applebottom experience. It’s a lot of work but it has paid off greatly and I love every minute of it. STANLEY: Loving the audience and just being yourself. Many people can sing. It is not all about your voice, you must connect with your crowd. Also I believe you should perform each night as if you are in concert whether there are 10 people or 2,000.

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FREE and all ages are welcome!

I N A U G U R A L F I R E W O R K S S H O W AT 9 P M

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QUEERY Bob Suppies Photo courtesy of Suppies

QUEERY: Bob Suppies

The Pines co-owner answers 20 queer questions By JOEY DIGUGLIELMO JOEYD@WASHBLADE.COM The Pines just opened in December so its owners and staff are gearing up for their maiden Rehoboth summer season. “I’m so excited for everyone to try our great food, our craft cocktails and to enjoy our amazing entertainment lineup,” says Bob Suppies. “I’m also excited to hear people on our two outside decks overlooking Aqua Grill banter back and forth.” The Pines (56 Baltimore Ave., Rehoboth Beach, Del.) is a two-level restaurant with dining on the main level and a piano lounge upstairs called “Top of the Pines.” There are daily happy hours, half-off glasses of wine on Mondays, burger night on Tuesdays, a late-night menu and more. Look for it on social media or register for e-mail blasts on thepinesrb.com.

Suppies, a 50-year-old Topsham, Maine, native, and his business partners Tyler Townsend and David Gonce have been planning The Pines Rehoboth Beach (A Modern Coastal Tavern) since early 2017. Once they decided on their location on Baltimore Avenue, it took a year and eight months to remodel and open. Suppies has lived in Rehoboth parttime since 2001 (splitting his time between here and Baltimore) and pretty much fulltime for about five years. Suppies and Vadim Karpeshov, his partner of eight months, live together in Rehoboth. Suppies enjoys the beach, running, biking, reading, travel and spending time with his Jack Russell Terrier Willie in his free time.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell? I came out in 1988. The hardest people to tell were my grandparents. Living only 5 miles away, I was so afraid they would not speak to me again that my hands were shaking at the thought of telling them. With all the courage I had, I told them over the phone. To my relief, they said, “We always knew. We were waiting for you to tell us!” Who’s your LGBTQ hero? Harvey Milk. He set the example of what one person can do to impact change. May 22nd is Harvey Milk Day. Milk does the body good. What LGBTQ stereotype most annoys you? Gender profiling What’s your proudest professional achievement? Making your life-long dreams come true is not always easy. So opening The Pines is definitely my proudest achievement. What terrifies you? A world of intolerance. Oh, and sharks. What’s something trashy or vapid you love? Watching “The Nanny,” over and over ... “I was working in a Bridal Shop in Flushing Queens...”

What’s your greatest domestic skill? Dishes. I love doing the dishes. What’s your favorite LGBTQ movie or show? “Will & Grace” What’s your social media pet peeve? Negative influencers What would the end of the LGBTQ movement look like to you? The progress we have made in my 50 years is amazing, but I do not feel that there should be an end. Educating and growth is what pulls us forward, this is an eternal movement. What’s the most overrated social custom? Handshaking. I’m all about hugs! What was your religion, if any, as a child and what is it today? I grew up Catholic. As a young teenager, I was very active. I went to Catechism and did the readings almost every Sunday. Now I use prayer and meditation. What’s Rehoboth’s best hidden gem? Clearspace Theater. Get your tickets. Their summer lineup is amazing! What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime? Princess Diana’s death.

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What celebrity death hit you hardest? Maya Angelou. Having heard her speak when I was a freshman in college, my life was forever changed. “If you are always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be.” If you could redo one moment from your past, what would it be? For my senior prom, I decided to get a perm. Uh, no. That didn’t work. What are your obsessions? Sour Patch Kids, peanut butter and Pinot Noir Finish this sentence — It’s about damn time: We find out if life exists on other planets! What do you wish you’d known at 18? That the journey you’re about to take is the right path. Why Rehoboth? Rehoboth Beach is a hidden gem! The charm of a small beach town, friendly people who get to know you, and more and more a year-round resort. Come live your best life.

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• WA SHINGTONBLA D E.COM • 35

JOHN WATERS, pictured here at home in Baltimore, is back with a new book ‘Mr. Know-It-All: The Tarnished Wisdom of a Filth Elder.’ Washington Blade photo by Michael Key

John Waters is never wrong In new book, the ‘filth elder’ has an opinion on just about everything By ED GUNTS

John Waters has had underwhelming meals in overpriced restaurants — so you don’t have to. He’s been caught in long airport security lines. He’s taken the BoltBus to New York City and been delayed while the driver took a dump in the on-board restroom. He’s had to sit in a doctor’s waiting room with an embarrassing ailment and been barraged with questions from other patients who recognize him and demand to know what he’s got. Now the Baltimore-based filmmaker and writer, who just turned 73, has put all of those experiences and more into a book of opinions and advice, presumably so people won’t have to endure what he has. Called “Mr. Know-It-All: The Tarnished Wisdom of a Filth Elder,” it’s his ninth book, and it comes out on May 21. He’s described it as “my opinion on everything” and “how to avoid respectability at 70 years old.” When it comes out, readers will discover that “Mr. Know-It-All” isn’t just a book about coping with life’s indignities and humiliations, even though there’s plenty of guidance about that. It’s also part memoir, part celebrity tell-all and part movie industry guidebook with separate chapters about each of his last seven films, all filmed in Baltimore (“Polyester,” “Hairspray,” “CryBaby,” “Serial Mom,” “Pecker,” “Cecil B. Demented” and “A Dirty Shame.”) The book is filled with anecdotes about many of the actors he’s worked with, including Kathleen Turner, Johnny Depp, Tracey Ullman and, of course, Divine. There’s the time Waters turned down Brad Pitt at an audition for Pecker because Pitt was too handsome to be cast as Depp’s sidekick, a decision that he thinks makes him perhaps “the only director who ever said no to Brad Pitt.” He remembers that Rikki Lake lost her virginity halfway through “Cry-Baby;” how he called Tab Hunter out of the blue to star in “Polyester” and how he battled with motion picture censors to let him use the word “Pecker” as a movie title. Other readers may be drawn to his essays about non-cinematic subjects, which range from art collecting and Brutalist architecture to Yippie protests, Andy Warhol and taking LSD at 70. In one chapter, he names the one female he has adored since childhood. In another, he imagines returning to the apartment he lived in during the 1960s, a sign that, in some cases, you can go home again (especially when you still live in the town where you grew up). “Mr. Know-It-All is here to tell you exactly how to live your life,” he writes early in the book. “I’m never wrong.” Though the title says it’s a book of wisdom, this is not a rehashed litany of someone else’s platitudes. All the advice he offers grows out of his own experiences. As a result, readers gain insights into the maker of “Pink Flamingos” and “Female Trouble” by learning what he’s gone through and how he dealt with it.

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One of those insights is that Waters can be quite frugal and down to earth. He not only takes the inexpensive BoltBus to New York but also goes to a Laundromat when he spends the summers in Provincetown. (And of course, he hitchhiked across the country and wrote about it in his bestseller, “Carsick.”) In many of his stories, Waters reveals a knack for handling even the most humiliating situations with humor and aplomb. He also says he licks important packages before he puts them in the mail — “to remove any ‘curse’ of show business rejection” — and instructs his staff to do the same. In the LSD chapter, he mentions texting “my boyfriend,” whom he never names. Next week, Waters begins a national tour to launch his book, published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux. East Coast stops include Barnes and Noble’s Union Square location in New York City on May 21; Politics and Prose Bookstore in Washington (the 5015 Connecticut Ave., N.W. location, with first-come, first-served seating) on May 24 at 7 p.m. and a book signing at Atomic Books, 3620 Falls Road in Baltimore, on May 25 at 7 p.m. West Coast stops include ticketed events at The Green Arcade at the McRoskey Mattress Loft, 1687 Market Street in San Francisco on May 30 at 7 p.m., and Book Soup at The Renberg Theatre (Los Angeles LGBT Center’s Village), 1125 N, McCadden Place in Los Angeles on June 1 at 7 p.m. Waters recently sat down at his home for an interview with the Washington Blade to talk about his book and his life as a filth elder. The interview has been condensed. WASHINGTON BLADE: A good alternative title for your book would be “The Influencer,” don’t you think? How To Win Friends and Influence People 2? JOHN WATERS: I’m Norman Vincent Peale, you’re saying? BLADE: You do give a lot of advice: Come up with a gimmick. Have backup plans. Get at least one other person to believe in you. Sound advice, with a John Waters twist. WATERS: I agree with that totally. BLADE: Why an advice book? WATERS: Well, I always kind of parody things, so I thought an advice book coming from me would be kind of a parody in the first place. I needed that kind of genre to be able to talk about all the things I wanted to talk about. In some ways it’s like “Shock Value” because “Shock Value” ended right before we made “Polyester,” so this has the rest of the movies in it. But I also wrote it from a viewpoint of how to tell young filmmakers how to deal with Hollywood and what happens and all that kind of stuff, and how you fail upward. And then the other subjects I had to put in about love, about fashion, about art, about death, about every possible thing. But to talk about them all, you need a theme that runs

through the whole thing, so that’s how I came up with [giving] advice. Do I expect every person to follow my advice? No, but I believe that I gave good advice. It’s not really told ironically. I believe everything I say in it. But I hoped to write a humorous book at the same time. BLADE: Who are you giving advice to? WATERS: I’m giving advice, first of all, to the people that like my work, because they’re hopefully the first people that buy the book. Secondly, even if you don’t know anything about me, I’m giving advice to younger people about how to handle what’s coming, failure and success, in your life if you’ve chosen to be in the arts in any way. So I think I’m trying to give advice to anybody probably younger than me, because older than me are dead, you know. And I tell you how to beat that too. BLADE: You’re not writing just for the hardcore fans? WATERS: No, not at all. If you’re never seen any of my movies, you can still read the book. BLADE: A lot of your fans may be the “others” in society, those who don’t fit in or conform, the people in “Desperate Living” and other movies. WATERS: The people that used to be the “others” in society are often now the leaders. Everybody wants to be the “other” now. They didn’t used to. Even Trump would probably want to be an outsider. Obama thought he was an outsider. Everybody wants to be an outsider, and I want to be an insider. I said that in “Make Trouble,” that it’s more fun to cause trouble from within. Which is what “Hairspray” did. BLADE: But a lot of the others aren’t the ones who would typically be disposed to take advice. WATERS: Maybe from me they might. BLADE: Why should someone follow your advice? WATERS: You don’t have to. I think you could read the book and not follow one bit of it and still enjoy the book. You don’t have to. I don’t expect anybody to, really. BLADE: Your advice grows out of your experiences. It’s not warmed-over Norman Vincent Peale. And because it comes from within, your advice in turn provides insights into you. WATERS: I always thought that is a joke, that book, which I probably never read. But my parents had it and it was such a thing then that it became a joke in a way. That same title could apply to this book. BLADE: The other thing about your advice is, you chronicle all the ways you’ve suffered indignities. You’ve had bad dinners at good restaurants. You’ve had bad seats on international flights. You’ve been harassed at the doctor’s office. WATERS: I’m also saying all the wonderful things that happened to me. So basically, there are different kinds of problems. It is a high-class

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problem to worry about being recognized in a doctor’s office. It’s the one time that it’s really bad to be seen. Although, if you weren’t [famous], you wouldn’t have gotten the appointment. So in the long run, it isn’t bad. BLADE: Do bad things happen to you more than most, like Joe Btfsplk in “Li’l Abner?” WATERS: No. I say in the book, not one bad thing has ever happened to me from being famous, in any way. It really hasn’t. I mean, high-class problems, some of the things I talk about. But, generally, I can bitch about flying all the time. Bitch about first class, which is really bold. But I get to fly all the time and I don’t pay for it. But I’m working, you know? So I’m trying to tell people that when bad things happen to them, they can use it and how they can appreciate it and how they can look back on it and it doesn’t mean really anything terrible. BLADE: You bring up all these universal things that anybody can identify with and you’ve come out on the other side, none the worse for wear from the indignities you’ve suffered. WATERS: Everybody has indignities. BLADE: Are you more sensitive to things than others? WATERS: No, I don’t think so. I think I notice them more and it’s more, like, ludicrous, some of the problems that you get from being known. BLADE: And then you use it for comic relief. WATERS: Yeah, comic relief. In my own life, even. BLADE: Is there one disappointment that tops them all? WATERS: I only regret one thing, smoking cigarettes. It’s the only thing I regret in life. Because I’ll probably die from it. I mean, I don’t have cancer, but I’m just saying that, both my parents died from some form of cancer. They were 90 though. They had a long, good life. So, yes, I regret smoking cigarettes. BLADE: You lived through all these indignities, and that’s a sign that others can too. WATERS: The other day in New York somebody yelled at me, a homeless person, ‘You’re still alive?’ Which really made me laugh. I thought, ‘Well, yes I am, are you?’ BLADE: You and the Queen of England ought to compare notes. WATERS: She probably has some really good ones. BLADE: On your book tour, you’re appearing at Politics and Prose in Washington. Is this book political? WATERS: Sure it is. All humor is political. And this book, definitely. I have a whole chapter, ACT BAD, which is really [suggesting ways] to go further than ACT UP did. I think comedy is political, trying to get you to laugh at things. I think every chapter

in this book is political. But the worst way you can be political [is to] rant. If you get people to laugh, they’ll listen. If you lecture, in a strident tone, like Elizabeth Warren, no one will pay attention. Even though I totally agree with her politics, I hate to hear her talk. She’s never said a funny thing in her life. So the thing is, it’s important, if you want to change people’s minds, to make them laugh. It’s the first way to get their attention. BLADE: What will you be doing at Politics and Prose? WATERS: Well, probably a conversation with somebody and read a chapter and sign books. Like what I do everywhere. It’s always “a conversation with.” It’s basically a free lecture tour. BLADE: As opposed to Atomic Books in Baltimore, where it’s primarily a book signing. WATERS: That is usually the biggest one in the whole country, which is pretty amazing. That tiny bookshop, on the last two books, I think, sold even more than Barnes and Noble in New York. BLADE: For your “Carsick” booksigning there, it was raining and the line was around the block. WATERS: That bookstore, I get all my fan mail there. It’s really a great place, so I’m all for it. BLADE: Does your book have any bombshells in it? Landing Tab Hunter for “Polyester?” Not casting Brad Pitt when he auditioned? WATERS: That’s not up to me to say. The only thing I could think in there, maybe, is the [taking] LSD thing, in a way. That’s the stunt of the book. That’s something that I did that I thoroughly enjoyed. I think if there’s a sentimental chapter in the book about friendship, then maybe that is that. If I had known how strong the LSD was that I took, I probably would have been uptight. But I didn’t and it was great. I spent eight months getting the right acid from the purest source I could find, practically from Timothy Leary’s asshole. The Blade can print that. But the provenance of it was high and it was great. I don’t have to ever do it again. Just like I don’t have to ever hitchhike across the country again. Why would I? I did it. I don’t know if that’s newsworthy, but that would be, maybe. BLADE: You had a big build-up about it in the book: We don’t know what this is going to do to us. And then you stopped hallucinating and it was OK and the sun rose… WATERS: It was more than OK. It was great. I never had a bad experience when I was young, or I probably would have never done it. What I wanted to see is, what is it like to do it now, when I’m 70 years old? I certainly would never imagine that many 70-year-olds try to take acid. Especially if you haven’t done it since you were young.

Continues at washingtonblade.com

Counterclockwise from left: ‘Drag Race’ alum ALEXIS MICHELLE joins the American Pops Orchestra for a performance Saturday Photo courtesy APO; Black Pride is Memorial Day weekend Washington Blade photo by WHO plays three nights at the 9:30 Club May 28-30 Photo courtesy the Karpel Group.

Michael Key; and BETTY

D.C. Black Pride returns D.C. Black Pride returns for its annual celebration with plenty of programming, events and parties. Us Helping Us presents Pride in the Park, a D.C. Black Pride celebration, at Fort Dupont Park (Minnesota Ave., S.E.) on Monday, May 20 from 11 a.m.-6 p.m. There will be performances, games, prizes and more. Visit ushelpingus.org for details. The 29th annual D.C. Black Pride Community Opening Reception is at the Renaissance Washington D.C. Hotel (999 Ninth St., N.W.) on Friday, May 24 from 7-9 p.m. featuring a performance by MarcWayne and local R&B artist Rinny. Admission is free but registration is requested. Admission includes two drink tickets and heavy hors d’oeuvres. For more

information, visit dcblackpride.org. Impulse D.C. hosts 50 Shades of Noir: Celebrating Pride in the District at Hard Rock Cafe (999 E St., N.W.) on Friday, May 24 from 8-11 p.m. DJ Honey will play music. Free open bar and free food. VIP tickets are $45 and include premium open bar, a gift bag and access to the VIP Lounge. Switch your current pharmacy to AHF and receive free VIP access. General admission is free and includes rail open bar. For more details, visit facebook.com/ impulsegroupdc. The 2019 D.C. Black Pride Awards Reception is at the Park at 14th (920 14th St., N.W.) on Tuesday, May 21 from 6-9 p.m. Bishop Allyson N. Abrams and Bishop Emeritus Diana Williams will receive the Welmore Cook Award. Other award recipients include Steven Wilson, Derrick Johnson, Shi-Queeta-Lee, among others. Cocktails and hors d’oeuvres will be served. Tickets are $10. For more

information, search “D.C. Black Pride Awards Reception” on Eventbrite. D.C. Black Pride hosts a Pride Praise Party at the Renaissance Washington D.C. Downtown Hotel (999 Ninth St., N.W.) on Saturday, May 26 from 9 a.m.-noon. Bishop Allyson Abrams, Bishop Kwabena Rainey Cheeks, Pastor Mark James, Pastor Darren Phelps, Rev. Dr. Aaron Wade and Rev. Dr. Robert Wise will give sermons. Diedre Gray and Love Gospel Choir will perform. New or gently used tennis shoes for the homeless are requested. For more details, visit dcblackpride.org. D.C. Black Pride Unity Ball is at the Renaissance Washington D.C. Downtown Hotel (999 Ninth St., N.W.) on Thursday, May 23 from 6 p.m.-midnight. LSS Legends Statement and Stars) begins at 6 p.m. The first category kicks off at 7 p.m. Free admission. Visit facebook.com/ dcblkpride.com for details. Always Getting Attention Ent. hosts

the Social Experiential, a D.C. Black Pride party, at Karma D.C. (2221 Adams Pl., N.E.) on Sunday, May 26 from 11 p.m.-4 a.m. DJ Obie and DJ Dave Thomm will spin tracks. There will be hookah, drink specials, VIP bottle service and more. General admission tickets are $30. VIP tickets are $40 and includes express entry and elevated VIP and stage access. For more information, visit pridesocialexperiential. eventbrite.com.

Betty Who preps 9:30 run Australian pop singer Betty Who kicks off a three-night engagement at 9:30 Club (815 V St., N.W.) for “Betty: The Tour” on May 28-30. New York City-based pop duo Loote

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TODAY

Gay District Meeting is at the D.C. Center (2000 14th St., N.W.) tonight from 8:30-9:30 p.m. The meeting is for LGBTQ and intersex men between the ages of 1835.The facilitated group discussions will discuss gay culture and personal identity. For more information, visit gaydistrict.org. The D.C. Center (2000 14th St., N.W.) hosts its monthly game night tonight from 7-9 p.m. Card and board games will be available but feel free to bring your own games. All are we lcome. For more details, visit thedccenter.org.

Saturday, May 18

opens the show. Doors open at 7 p.m. all three nights. Betty Who and Plus1 have partnered to donate $1 from every ticket sold to the Trevor Project to provide assistance for crisis intervention and suicide prevention services for LGBTQ youth. For more details, visit 930.com.

Flashy returns Flash (645 Florida Ave., N.W.) hosts Flashy Memorial Day Weekend, a dance party, on Sunday, May 26 from 10 p.m.-5 a.m. DJ Twin DJ Sean Morris will spin tracks on the main ﬂoor and DJ Saint Deporres will play music on the roof deck. Extended bar runs until 4 p.m. Cover is $20. For more information, visit facebook. com/ﬂashydc.

Theatrical ﬂings African-American Collective Theater presents “One Night Stands,” a block of LGBTQ-themed theater dramas and comedies, at First Congregational United Church of Christ (945 G St., N.W.) on Sunday, May 26 from 4-11 p.m. There will be a performance of short plays by ACT Founding Artistic Director Alan Sharpe at 4 and 8 p.m. Each performance has a different line-up and cast. Tickets range from $15-20. For more details, visit alansharpe.org.

American Pops Orchestra performs “I Am What I Am,” a musical tribute to theater legend Jerry Herman, at Arena Stage at the Mead Center for American Theater (1101 6th St., S.W.) tonight at 8 p.m.The group will perform music from “Hello, Dolly!” “Le Cage aux Folles,” “Mack and Mabel” and more. Performers include “RuPaul’s Drag Race” alum Alexis Michelle, Kathy Najimy (“Sister Act”/”Hocus Pocus”) Paige Davis (TLC’s “Trading Spaces”), Mauricio Martinez (“On Your Feet!”), Tracy Lynn Olivera (“Ragtime”) and Paul Roeckell from APO’s NextGen competition. The Congressional Chorus and Congressional Chorus and Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington will also perform with piano accompaniment from Karen Walwyn, Scott Beard (an openly gay, West Virginia-based virtuoso) and Chris Urquiaga. Tickets range from $25-75. For more details, visit theamericanpops.org. Capital Trans Pride is at Eaton D.C. (1201 K St., N.W.) today. The Workshop and Resource Fair is from 9 a.m.-4 p.m. 25 organizations will offer services, information, employment opportunities and more. Educational workshops, seminars and panel discussions will run all day. The day ends with a happy hour with food, beverages and entertainment at Studio Theatre (1501 14th St., N.W.) from 5-8 p.m. Principal to Trans Equity Consulting Cecilia Gentil will give the keynote address. Registration is free. For more information, visit capitalpride.org/ trans-pride-2019. Tagg Magazine hosts Cookout Jam at the D.C. Eagle (3701 Benning Rd., N.E.) today from 1-5 p.m. There will be food, drink specials, music from DJ Electr0x and more. Admission is $10 and includes food. An after-party at a League of Her Own (2319 18th St., N.W.) follows. For details, visit facebook.com/taggmagazine.

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Sunday, May 19

Wednesday, May 22

The Choral Arts Society of Washington will perform Gabriel Faure’s “Requiem” today at 5 p.m. at the Kennedy Center (2700 F St., N.W.) in the Concert Hall. Schmitt’s “Psalm 47” and Boulanger’s “Psalm 24” will also be performed. Scott Tucker directs. Tickets start at $15. Details at choralarts.org. Alamo Drafthouse presents Champagne Cinema: “9 to 5” movie party today at 2 p.m. This is an interactive screening with quoting and singing along encouraged. Tickets are $14.30 and includes a themed “9 to 5” pen and “Cup of Ambition” mug. The party is at the Cinema One Loudon location (20626 Easthampton Plaza, Ashburn, Va.) and Alamo Drafthouse Cinema Woodbridge (15200 Potomac Town Pl., Woodbridge, Va.). For more information, visit drafthouse.com.

The D.C. Eagle (3701 Benning Rd., N.E.) and D&K Sounds host karaoke tonight from 9 p.m.-1 a.m. Drink specials include $3 rail cocktails and domestic drafts and $4 wines. For more information, visit facebook.com/dceagle. Washington National Opera and Capital Pride present Pride Night Out for a performance of “Tosca” at the Kennedy Center (2700 F St., N..W) tonight at 7:30 p.m. The Puccini opera tells the story of a singer Tosca, who tries to protect her lover from the chief of police Scarpia. After the show, get a free drink at the post-performance Pride Night Out reception at the Kingbird bar at the Watergate Hotel (2650 Virginia Ave., N.W.). Tickets range from $35-300. For more details, visit facebook. com/washingtonnationalopera. The Lambda Bridge Club meets at 7:30 p.m. tonight at the Dignity Center (721 8th St., S.E.) for duplicate bridge. No reservations required and new comers welcome. If you need a partner, call 703-407-6540.

Monday, May 20 The Board Room VA (925 B Garﬁeld St., Arlington, Va.) hosts drag bingo tonight from 9-11 p.m. Crystal Edge and Katrina Colby host. There will be games and performances. Prizes include free drinks, free shots, free good, gift cards and more. Drink specials include $5 local beers and other all night drink specials. Cover is $5. Reserve a spot on Eventbrite. Walk-ins also welcome. For details, visit facebook.com/ theboardroomva. The D.C. Center (2000 14th St., N.W..) hosts coffee drop-in hours this morning from 10 a.m.-noon for senior LGBT people. Older LGBT adults can come and enjoy complimentary coffee and conversation with other community members. For more information, visit thedccenter.org.

Tuesday, May 21 The D.C. Center (2000 14th St., N.W.) hosts its Packing Party from 7-9 p.m. tonight. Volunteers will assemble safer sex kits to distribute to the LGBT community. For more details, visit thedccenter.org. The Center Bi monthly roundtable is tonight from 7-8 p.m. at the D.C. Center (2000 14th St., N.W.). The group will discuss issues related to bisexuality. For more information, visit thedccenter.org.

Thursday, May 23 The 2019 Trans Equality Now Awards are at the Willard InterContinental (1401 Pennsylvania Ave., N.W.) tonight from 6-9 p.m. There will be a reception, dinner, awards and after party honoring the leaders fighting for transgender equality. Nicole Maines will receive the Andy Cray Award for Health & Youth Advocacy; Earline Budd will be honored with he Community Builder Award; Masen Davis will receive the Julie Johnson Founder’s Award and Lush Cosmetics will be be honored with the Ally Award. VIP tickets are $175 in advance and $200 at the door. After party tickets (8:30-11 p.m.) are $75 in advance and $85 at the door. It includes admission to the after party only with dessert bar and two complimentary drink tickets. For more details, visit act.transequality.org. Venus Valhalla hosts Thirst Trap Thursdays at Pitchers (2317 18th St., N.W.) tonight from 11 p.m.-12:30 a.m. Local drag talent will perform. For more information, visit facebook.com/pitchersdc. GPMC hosts Am I Gay Enough?, a panel discussion for gay people of color, at Human Rights Campaign (1640 Rhode Island Ave., N.W.) this evening at 6 p.m. The discussion will focus on who gay people of color are and how they want to be viewed. There will be speakers from academia, law, medicine, non-profit and the media. A networking and affirmation reception takes place after the discussion. Free admission. For more details, visit facebook.com/gpmc.dc.

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Last year’s Trans Pride attracted hundreds despite rain. Washington Blade photo by Wyatt Reid Westlund

Time to ‘shhhOUT’

Capital Trans Pride returns this weekend By JOEY DIGUGLIELMO JOEYD@WASHBLADE.COM

If intersectionality is a current buzzword when discussing LGBT and other issues, it’s one that’s explored dramatically in the movie “The Garden Left Behind,” which tells of Tina, a young trans woman, and Eliana, her grandmother, as they navigate Tina’s transition and struggle to build a life for themselves as undocumented immigrants in New York. It will be screened this weekend as part of Capital Trans Pride on Sunday at 6 p.m. at Studio Theatre (1501 14th St., N.W.) as part of a weekend full of activities. Its theme is one that especially resonates with Trans Pride organizer Bianca Humady Rey, a native Filipino who came to the U.S. in ’98 and came out as trans in 2013. “It really resonated with me personally,” Humady Rey says. “There’s a scene where she’s talking with her therapist to get those two letters required (for gender affirmation surgery) and it really connected with many of us when we previewed the film because these are also the challenges many of us in our community are facing.” Humady Rey says the film skillfully

captures what it’s like to be trans. “It shows why it’s important for us to be visible, to fight the fight and make sure that everybody is aware that trans people are human. We’re being killed in high numbers yearly and that needs to stop. But it’s also about what the journey is like and the process. There’s a lot there that will resonate with our diverse community.” Filmmakers will be on hand after the screening for a Q&A session. That’s Sunday, but Saturday is the main day for Trans Pride programming. After battling rain last year, organizers have nixed the outdoor element that was part of the 2018 event when Trans Pride was at Foundry Church and Stead Park. This year, the main day of programming will be held at Eaton Workshop (1201 K St., N.W.) from 8 a.m.-4 p.m. for the workshop and resource fair. This year’s theme is “shhhOUT: Past, Present & Proud.” It’s free but registration is requested. SaVanna Wanzer started Capital Trans Pride in 2007 and is now active with We the People, another local trans group in the midst of its May Is? All About Trans series of events. Jamison Crowell, executive director of the D.C. Area Transmasculine Society, a queer trans man, is one of the Trans Pride session presenters along with the society’s program associate Jake Paiva. Ann Murdoch will present a workshop called “Celebrating Trans and Gender Nonconforming Identities” at 10 a.m. in which “participants will gain an appreciation for how inspiring many people from all walks of life find our stories of overcoming shame, stigma and discrimination to live our authentic lives as well as explore of how our personal stories both shape and are shaped by our identities.” Murdoch is a blogger, speaker and trainer who helps organizations harness the power of diversity and inclusion, teaches leadership, and “helps people be their best, most authentic selves,” according to Trans Pride promotional material. She is a retired U.S. Army officer who rose through the ranks from private to lieutenant colonel and now works for the federal government. After a long career representing as male, she transitioned in 2016. Breakfast and lunch will be served at the event. Other workshops planned throughout the day include “intro to Government Consulting,” “It’s Your Health: Understanding Insurance Maze & Filing Appeals,” “PrEP and Trans Bodies,” “Adult Allies for Transgender and Non-binary Youth” and many more.

Cecilia Gentili will be the keynote speaker at 1 p.m. in the Beverly Snow Room. Attendance estimates are hard to determine, but Trans Pride organizers say between 400-600 attend throughout the weekend. RSVPs on social media are already higher this year than in previous years, organizers said. Humady Rey says the resources Trans Pride offers are especially needed now in what some have called a hostile presidential administration in which trans rights — what few there are — are often first on the chopping block. “I’m always thinking about medical access for myself and my trans brothers and sisters,” Humady Rey says. “I don’t understand how you can deny someone access to what they need to be their fully authentic self. It’s outrageous.” Ultimately, though, she’s hopeful. “I live a very optimistic life,” she says. “There’s a light coming at the end of the tunnel. In the meantime, we need to really start educating people in power and our allies and even people who are not our allies, to hear our stories. That’s what really makes an impact.”

Capital Trans Pride shhhOUT: Past, Present & Proud Free but registration encouraged Look for the event on Facebook for a link to register Saturday, May 18 Workshops & Resource Fair 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Eaton Workshop 1201 K St., N.W.

Capital Trans Pride Happy Hour Saturday, May 18 5-8 p.m. Studio Theatre 1501 14th St., N.W.

“The Garden Left Behind” movie screening Sunday, May 19 5-9 p.m. Studio Theatre free

Full details are under the Trans Pride tag at capitalpride.org or on Facebook.

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KATHLEEN TURNER is expanding her performance horizons. Photo courtesy Arena Stage

Cabaret with Miss Turner

Stage and screen legend to headline Arena gala By PATRICK FOLLIARD

Not long after her movie star-making turn as femme fatale Matty Walker in ’80s thriller “Body Heat,” Kathleen Turner appeared at Arena Stage. She played Tatiana and Hippolyta in Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” kicking off a long and satisfying relationship between the huskyvoiced actor and the waterfront theater. Over the years, Turner has shone memorably in Arena productions like “Red Hot Patriot,” “Mother Courage and Her Children” and “The Year of Magical Thinking.” And now she’s headlining Arena’s annual gala with excerpts from her first cabaret, “Finding My Voice,” which debuted last year (gala proceeds go to Arena’s artistic and educational programs). Turner fulfilled her movie promise with “Prizzi’s Honor” and “The War of the Roses.” She received an Oscar nod for “Peggy Sue Got Married,” and Tony Award nominations “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” and “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf.” But there have been setbacks too, including chronic illness and addiction issues. A big-name actor who has never lived in Hollywood, Turner isn’t exclusively one thing. She’s an activist whose ire has recently been reignited, a teacher and a self-described “citizen of the world.” Via phone from her Manhattan apartment, she talks about these things and more. WASHINGTON BLADE: Kathleen

Turner in cabaret. Makes perfect sense. Was this long in the making? KATHLEEN TURNER: I first did it in London’s West End, and then brought it to Café Carlisle where they asked me to cut it down. It’s not about my singing. It’s about my storytelling. I’m still tweaking it. Actually, it wasn’t long in the making. And my decision to do it had a lot to do with Molly Smith [Arena Stage’s Artistic Director]. You’ll understand more when you come to the Gala and see me do it. BLADE: You’re an activist for, among other things, reproductive rights, and have volunteered with Planned Parenthood for decades. Any thoughts on the current assault on the organization? TURNER: I was just shooting in Atlanta where the expletive governor (editor’s note: Turner’s exact words) signed the heartbeat bill. At six weeks a woman doesn’t even know if she’s pregnant or not. It’s obscene. So, I’m setting up a sit down with Planned Parenthood’s new president Leanna Wen to clarify what more I can do to help. I travel to affiliates and make myself available to speak, but I think all of us need to do more. BLADE: “Red Hot Patriot,” your onewoman show about the late Molly Ivins (the brilliant liberal newspaper columnist) was such a good time, but beneath the humor was there some political rage? TURNER: Absolutely, but that’s nothing new to me. Molly was and is very close to my heart. I adored her sense of humor and agreed with her political positions. We initially mounted “Red Hot Patriot” in Philly. Molly was a Texan, so for the very first performance we had a planeload of Molly’s fellow Texans from the ACLU, Texas Observer people, and her brother. Molly was a big-boned woman, but her brother was really big. He wrapped his arms around me and thanked me for keeping Molly alive. That was one of the most extraordinary things I ever heard pertaining to my work. BLADE: You brought “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf” to the Kennedy Center. You were spectacular as Martha. TURNER: I was thrilled with the production and what we achieved. BLADE: Is it hard to move from screen to stage? TURNER: For me it’s always been theater. To my mind, film happened to me. And it was fun and I enjoyed the work tremendously. But with films, I never had the power or liberty and freedom that I have on stage. BLADE: Is #metoo your Hollywood experience? TURNER: I was fortunate. I became a star very quickly and didn’t have to deal with those kinds of predatory men. Today, I’m aligned with the Time’s Up movement. It’s about creating legal funds for women to fight back against harassment. That makes sense to me; my nature is to do something about the problem. BLADE: Now that you’re in your 60s, are you exploring new things besides cabaret? TURNER: Oh yeah. Not long ago I played a non-singing role in Donizetti’s comic opera “The Daughter of the Regiment.” I was the Duchess of Krakenthorp. The character is so selfish and absurd, a caricature of a comic

villainess. It was great fun. To be surrounded by those voices is extraordinary. From my dressing room, I could hear the mezzo Stephanie warming up on one side, and the soprano, pretty Yolanda, on the other. And the house seats 3,800. It’s astounding. Another world altogether. And soon, I’ll be directing a new playwright whose protagonists are a woman in her 70s and another in her late 60s. You don’t see that a lot. BLADE: And how is the R.A. (rheumatoid arthritis)? TURNER: Oh, you know, it’s an ongoing thing. Part of treatment is to keep moving. I find Pilates helpful. So I do that three times a week. And when spring comes, I bring my bicycle out of storage and ride along Hudson River Park, but never in the street. BLADE: I’ve heard you praise the work of your great friend Cherry Jones. What other working actors do you like? TURNER: I don’t know a lot of the young ones because I don’t watch TV. I really liked Rachel Weiss in “The Beloved” though I didn’t like the film. And Emma Stone. She’s a courageous actress. I don’t see her hedging her bets and compromising like I see with so many others. BLADE: I’m pretty certain that my favorite of your films is “Peggy Sue Got Married.” TURNER: It’s magical, isn’t it? That’s thanks to its director, Coppola. The dressing table scene is everything. The camera pulls back and I have a double echoing my movements. You can see the back and front of me at the same time and you accept it. Once you accept that you’re ready to go on the journey with her. BLADE: A surefire cure for the blues is your obscene phone scene from John Waters’ movie “Serial Mom.” TURNER: (Laughs.) I’m still asked to say those lines. I refuse. BLADE: Is that what started your gay following? TURNER: Sure, it has a lot to do with “Serial Mom.” But recently, my daughter sent me a clip from “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” A contestant being attacked by the others bellows “In the name of Kathleen Turner, what is going on here?” I liked that. The references keep coming. BLADE: What keeps you coming back to Arena? TURNER: That’s easy. It’s the quality of the people there. In 20 years, Molly [Smith] has made Arena into a full plant. When she directed me in “Mother Courage,” it was thrilling, and even when she’s not directing me, she remains deeply involved my work while I’m there. Also, the production people are top notch. And I like Washington. And Arena gets me an apartment over on 6th Street, I can walk everywhere. Lots of good restaurants and things to do. It’s always a nice time.

2019 Arena Stage Annual Gala Tuesday, May 21 Arena Stage 1101 6th St., S.W. 202-488-3300 arenastage.org

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An actor’s empathy Asia Kate Dillon brings fresh perspective to Hollywood

By BRIAN T. CARNEY

ASIA KATE DILLON as the Adjudicator in ‘John Wick: Chapter 3 — Parabellum.’ Photo by Nico Tavernise for Lionsgate

The creative team on “John Wick: Chapter 3 — Parabellum,” out today, liked actor Asia Kate Dillon’s trademark neck tattoo enough to let it be seen in their role as the Adjudicator. It’s so prominent, Dillon is used to covering it when they act. The character is all business but the tattoo, which says “Einfühlung,” (German for empathy), perhaps adds a layer of insight that wouldn’t otherwise have been there. Non-binary actor Dillon has been a pioneer in bringing queer representation to Hollywood. They also play non-binary character Taylor Mason on Showtime’s “Billions.” During a Blade phone interview Tuesday, Dillon talked extensively about their “Parabellum” role and other projects. On the Adjudicator: “As a fan of the John Wick saga, it was really fun for me as an actor to come into a world that had already been developed and to play a new character that takes the audience deeper into the mythology and philosophy of that world. The Adjudicator is the enforcer of the binding rules of the High Table, the shadowy International Assassins Guild. In the second movie, John Wick, played by Keanu Reeves, kills a member of the High Table inside the Continental Hotel. That’s a big no-no in the world of the movie. He has broken the rules and he has to pay. Every action has consequences. … It’s really fun to play a character whose job is to come in and intimidate everyone.” On the origin of the role, which Dillon helped flesh out with director Chad Stahelski after Keanu Reeves’ conception of it: “The Adjudicator is all-business and no-nonsense. My character doesn’t make the rules; they just enforce them. Keanu and Chad were both interested in a character who has a quiet power, a quiet calm. Because they don’t take up physical arms in the film, it is really important that they are still able to be intimidating to characters like John Wick, characters that you don’t think can be intimidated.” On the character’s costumes, designed by Luca Mosca: “Luca came up with all of this vintage Thierry Mugler high femme European fashion. It’s very architectural, very structural, but still

showing some skin. There were sensuous fabrics like velvet and silk. The costume really allowed me to step into the character (no pun intended).” On “Billions”: “I can’t believe we’re in the middle of airing season four right now. The fact that I am a non-binary actor playing a non-binary character on a major television show is humbling and gratifying. Taylor is a multi-dimensional fully fleshed out character who is integral to the plot of the show. It is incredibly rewarding to me as an actor. When I was a young person it would have meant a great deal to me if I had seen a non-binary character on television.” On their previous role as Brandi on “Orange is the New Black”: “Playing Brandi was a challenge. You have a character who is a self-identified Nazi white supremacist. My job is to bring depth and multi-dimensionality to the character. For me, I started with the fact that Brandi is just incredibly afraid. Brandi has been taught to hate.” On guesting on “Project Runway”: “It was a dream come true. love ‘Project Runway.’ I have watched it since season one. Getting to meet Tim Gunn was an honor. They’re all such incredible people. The show is inspiring to be around and watch.” On doing theater this summer: “I get back as often as I can. I started on the stage, so I love the theater.” On MIRROR/FIRE Productions (mirrorfire.org), a company they founded in 2016 with Christopher Hirsch: “Right now, we’re producing a Black Lives Matter/Say Their Names piece. It’s an evening of stories shared by friends, family and community members followed by a talk-back.” On an upcoming EP: “I sing, I dance, I do it all. I have a handful of songs that I’m really proud of and I just found a producer that I’m excited to be working with. I’m eager to put it out there and hopefully other people will love it too.” On what drives them: “Whether it’s self-generated work or collaborative work with others, I always want to make sure that my work is uplifting and supporting historically marginalized and historically disenfranchised peoples. Whether it’s … theater or film and television, that is my goal.”

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Scandalous success D.C.-based gay rugby team ﬁnds ‘sweet spot’

Ballet Across America

Dance Theatre of Harlem

By KEVIN MAJOROS

and

Miami City Ballet Dance Theatre Of Harlem program (May 28–30) Shared Celebration program (May 31) Miami City Ballet program (June 1 & 2)

Scandals Captains TIM KILBRIDE (left) and JOSEPH SEWELL in action.

May 28–June 2 Opera House with the Kennedy Center Opera House Orchestra

Kennedy-Center.org (202) 467-4600

Groups call (202) 416-8400 For all other ticket-related customer service inquiries, call the Advance Sales Box Office at (202) 416-8540

Support for Ballet at the Kennedy Center is generously provided by Elizabeth and C. Michael Kojaian. Major support for Ballet Across America is provided by Virginia McGehee Friend. Ballet Across America is presented as part of The Irene Pollin Audience Development and Community Engagement Initiatives.

Jennifer Lauren, Shimon Ito, and Alexander Peters in Miami City Ballet’s Heatscape, photo by Alexander Iziliaev

Photos by Eric Brown

When the Washington Scandals were formed in 2013, members carved out their own niche for LGBT rugby in the Washington area. Their seasons consisted of scheduling matches with other teams from International Gay Rugby along with matches against LGBT-friendly straight teams. They also began attending tournaments throughout the Midwest and Eastern seaboard. Fast-forward to 2019 and the Washington Blade checks in with the team on its growth and evolution. The Washington Scandals have competed on the world stage in two Bingham Cup Tournaments since 2016. At the 2018 Cup in Amsterdam, the Scandals were awarded the Ben Cohen Stand Up Award for Team Sportsmanship in recognition of their positive attitude and respect for other players. Locally, the Scandals are a member of Division IV of the Mid-Atlantic Rugby Conference. A recent growth spurt has given the Scandals a strong potential to develop a second side (team) in the coming year. Just this past week, they had 44 players at one practice. “We go through waves each season through recruitment, but we have become better about retention,” says Scandals Captain Tim Kilbride. “It’s been a big learning curve, but we have achieved a sweet spot and reached a critical mass.” With a larger base of players to choose from, comes the ability to utilize rolling substitutions in matches. On Saturday, the Scandals will host a round-robin tournament in D.C. against the Baltimore Flamingos and the Philadelphia Gryphons. The games will be shortened to 40 minutes for the tournament, which will serve as a trial for team rosters for the 2019 Capital City Rugby Cup in Columbus on Memorial Day weekend. “We seek out matches of varying abilities, so our developmental players don’t have to just stand and watch,” Kilbride says. “It’s

important to also have veterans on a team for field leadership. We don’t want our developmental players to get overwhelmed.” Kilbride has been playing rugby since 2002 and has been with the Scandals since 2016. He mostly plays as a lock or a flanker. “I love the physicality of the sport and the satisfaction of a hit,” Kilbride says. “We spend a lot of time together and team spirit is important for our success.” Captain Joseph Sewell is quick to add that the creation of a second side (team) doesn’t mean the Scandals have an A-side and a B-side. “Our development has an emphasis on creating harmonious units,” Sewell says. “Giving everyone playing time results in muscle memory and we are looking to develop two solid teams.” He says the recent influx of players has led to creative scheduling to find match time for everyone but acknowledges that it’s a good problem to have. Sewell joined the team in January, 2018 and plays fullback, wing and inside center. A recent highlight for him was traveling to New York with the Scandals for a match against the Gotham Knights. “Here were two (International Gay Rugby) teams playing on the field before the professional rugby match of Rugby United New York,” Sewell says. “I scored the first try of the game and I have never been prouder of the way our guys played.” The bond Sewell feels with his teammates is strong and the lessons learned go beyond the sport. “My teammates are great examples of the type of person I want to be when I grow up. I am hoping to emulate many of their traits including patience and wisdom,” Sewell says. “There is such a powerful sense of community on the Scandals. My main reason for joining was to make friends, but I also learned how to play this really cool and mystical sport.”

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CAPITAL TRANS PRIDE CELEBRATION2019

Is this snappy mood over yet? Bad family reaction causes tension between boyfriends

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Ethan and I have been dating for about a year. When we met he wasn’t out to his parents. He’s 22 so I was OK with this. I did tell him that if this relationship is going to go somewhere, I’d prefer he be out to them. I just think guys who aren’t out to their parents are kinda immature and fearful. We talked about it a lot and Ethan also thought it was a good idea to come out to his parents. Not only because we’re dating but because he just thought he should. So three months ago he came out and their reaction was really bad. Now they aren’t talking to him. As a result Ethan is now in a bad mood almost all the time. He was really close to them and says he is feeling like the rug got pulled out from under his life. Ethan says he doesn’t blame me for his having come out to them, but I kinda feel like he does. Now he is almost always on a very short fuse. He apologizes some of the time and says he is just angry and upset at their reaction and he’s not mad at me. I am trying to be patient and nice to him even when he is explosive, like when he snaps at me over some mundane thing I did, such as leaving a dripping coffee mug on the counter and it made a ring. But lately I am feeling like I’m letting myself be abused. Why should I just take it? So I am getting angry right back at him. But when I yell, I don’t really feel better and it doesn’t cause him to stop yelling at me. Everything just gets worse. What is the best way to respond? MICHAEL REPLIES: First off, look at the situation clearly. Ethan is being grouchy toward you, but being grouchy is not the same as being abusive. By telling yourself that you are being abused, you are getting yourself angrier and more reactive. You need to calm yourself, not egg yourself on, if you are going to be able to respond thoughtfully to a complicated situation. Sometimes being nice to someone who is not being nice to you is the best choice. For example, when Ethan ﬁrst came out to his parents and they responded badly,

you were being compassionate if you absorbed his upset without reproach. And sometimes it makes sense to be angry when someone treats you badly. Anger can send a strong message and it can galvanize us to all sorts of positive actions. But be discerning about when you choose to respond with anger by asking yourself if the situation is worth your getting angry and what your anger is likely to accomplish. When you’re getting mad at Ethan and the two of you go nowhere except downhill, you are simply giving a grouchy guy power over your mood and letting his bad mood infect you so that you feel miserable. My suggestion is that you ﬁnd a way not to just “take it,” but at the same time not act out of anger. This is not easy. But it may leave you feeling a lot better than being sweet in response to a threemonth grouchfest, or being miserable and furious. And by pursuing this route, you have a better chance of achieving some sort of useful outcome. I suggest that you talk with Ethan in a way that lets him know where you stand. I’d suggest doing this when Ethan isn’t angry, because he will be more likely to be receptive to what you say. Let him know that you understand where he’s coming from, that you care about him, that you are fed up with bearing the brunt of his unhappiness and that you want him to take some steps forward. For example: “Ethan, I know it was painful for you to be judged and rejected by your parents. Since then, I see how upset you are. I want you to know that I miss you. You’ve been pretty preoccupied and grumpy and I’m getting worn out by your meanness. I’m wondering if there’s something you might do to come to better terms with what happened. You seem pretty stuck.” Don’t issue an ultimatum, such as, “If you don’t change, I’m out of here.” Threats are bad for relationships. If Ethan keeps being nasty toward you, then you will have to decide if you want to stay. You have an opportunity here to acquire an invaluable skill: Staying calm and thoughtful when someone close to you is acting badly or letting you down. When you can do this, you are able to be a solid and resilient person in all your relationships.

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Friday, May 17th at 7:00 PM Saturday, May 18th at 1:00 PM & 7:00 PM Doors Open One Hour Before ShowTime. Late Seating Ends Thirty Minutes After ShowTime

In the heart of Washington DC, Avery, an outwardly confident and whimsical toy designer, finds true meaning and purpose, after a supernatural encounter with an angelic messenger. Avery is transported to the Land of Zoe and embarks on a journey filled with mystery and wonder. This moving and suspenseful tale will delight and intrigue audiences, as it unfolds the truth of The Maker’s Love for all and looks at the common misconceptions of Scripture concerning homosexuality. You will be moved by this inspirational and entertaining performance, enjoy a delicious Italian Dinner served right to your table, and help support God’s message of love for all people!

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Like rainbow ﬂags at a pride parade, crossovers are everywhere. There are more than 125 different models, but add in all the various trim levels (such as Limited, Platinum, Premium, Sport, Ultimate and so on) and suddenly there are too many choices to count. To keep things simple, here are three solid contenders. MITSUBISHI ECLIPSE CROSS $25,000 MPG: 26 city/29 highway Zero-60 mph: 8.6 seconds This all-new compact crossover from Mitsubishi is a twist on the typical Eclipse, a sporty coupe and convertible produced from 1989-2011. Today’s Eclipse Cross is just as cocky on the outside, with an angled grille that borrows heavily from Lexus and a raised rear similar to the brash BMW X4. The cabin is pleasant, with soft-touch materials, optional faux leather and nicely conﬁgured controls. Plenty of room for passengers and cargo, with rear seats that fold easily. Yet while the front seats are fairly comfortable, there’s no adjustable lumbar support to ease the ride on long trips. The 7.0-inch touchscreen infotainment is standard, but opt for the raised display atop the dash with its center-console touchpad. Being one of those people who stubbornly refuses to ask for directions or read instructions to assemble IKEA furniture, I had to surrender and read the owner’s manual to use the less-thanintuitive voice-command system. As for the engine, it’s quiet and perky enough; just give yourself enough time to merge onto the freeway or pass another vehicle on two-lane backroads. The overall handling is smooth over most surfaces, but beware tackling pesky parking-garage speed bumps except at the slowest speeds. Blind-spot monitoring is standard on all models, which helps offset some of the impaired rear visibility from the dramatically sloped roof. Other safety features can be added, including lane-departure warning, adaptive cruise control and automated emergency braking with pedestrian detection. A big plus: Mitsubishi now joins Hyundai and Kia in offering the best long-term warranties and roadside assistance available. TOYOTA HIGHLANDER $32,000 MPG: 20 city/27 highway Zero-60 mph: 7.8 seconds Stepping up to a midsize ride, the Toyota Highlander is the classic crossover: comfortable, quiet and reliable. Available in six trim levels, the base model comes with a rather anemic four-cylinder engine.

Luckily there’s an optional V6, which is standard on all the other models. Sure, zipping around sharp corners can bring some land-yacht body roll, but overall this crossover is responsive and stable. With three rows of seating, there’s room for eight (or seven, if you choose the cushy secondrow captain’s chairs instead of a bench seat). Unfortunately, the third row is tight for adults and cargo room isn’t as roomy as other rides. But the long list of standard features would impress even the Fab Five: heated mirrors, windshield wiper de-icer, rearview camera, ﬁve USB ports, Bluetooth, automatic high beams, adaptive cruise control, lanekeeping assist and forward collision warning with automatic emergency braking. The higher trim levels offer even more goodies, of course, including a heightadjustable power liftgate, tri-zone climate control, second-row sunshades, heated/ ventilated seats, heated steering wheel, panoramic sunroof, surround-view parking camera and 12-speaker JBL stereo. But hurry: A redesigned Highlander goes on sale in December, which means there likely will be good deals on the current 2019 models while they last. MAZDA CX-9 $34,000 MPG: 22 city/28 highway Zero-60 mph: 7.1 seconds Slightly larger than the Toyota Highlander, the Mazda CX-9 midsize crossover mixes Japanese reliability with Euro handling and style. The stout snout and slanted liftgate are as sleek as any Volvo XC60. There’s also a classy, frameless rearview mirror (another nod to the Volvo XC60). Overall, the Mazda’s high-quality cabin — especially on the primo Signature trim, with its aluminum trim and genuine rosewood — is on par with Audi and BMW. Ditto the sporty handling and braking. Acceleration is smooth and peppy with a robust four-cylinder turbo used across all four trim levels. For its infotainment system, Mazda even adopted a large dial interface similar to the BMW iDrive format. With three seats, there’s enough room in the CX-9 for treks to Rehoboth or Lost River. But as with the Toyota Highlander, the third row and cargo area offer less space than some competitors. Unlike the Highlander, there’s no option for second-row captain’s chairs. Still, the CX-9 is quieter, feels lighter and comes with almost all the same features as the Highlander. Choosing between the two may come down to how tethered you are to your smartphone: The CX-9 comes with Apple CarPlay and Android Auto, which won’t arrive on the Highlander until the 2020 model.

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with the Washington Blade! TUESDAY, JUNE 5

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 6

Night Out at the Nationals Happy Hour 4-7PM Walters Sports Bar Free and open to the public

Comedian Leslie Jordan Live 7PM & 9PM Union Stage at the Wharf Tickets at washingtonblade.com/leslie

THURSDAY, JUNE 7

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‘Game of Homes’ at the beach Rehoboth, Lewes and Milton offer range of options for homebuyers By LEE ANN WILKINSON Now that winter is over, summer is coming! And there’s no place like Coastal Delaware in the summertime. If you are looking to turn your rental budget into some equity at the beach, you have quite a few options to purchase property. Of course, finding a home is not really a ‘game.’ And especially with one of the biggest investments of our lives, we love options, but too many can be overwhelming. Get in touch with a local beach Realtor to help you chart your course and narrow your focus. You have a choice of buying land to build on, a condo, town house, single/ detached home, historic district property, or brand new construction. There are tons of new communities springing up with varying amenities like pools, fitness centers, and walking paths – some within walking/biking distance and many within only a 15-minute drive to the beach. In Delaware, unlike D.C. (especially at rush hour), a 15-minute drive can take you 10 miles and a world away in terms of price range. So, what’s happened across the Bay Bridge since Labor Day? Prices have inched up a bit since last year and market activity is brisk. It sounds like the D.C. market is highly competitive with multiple offers and contracts over the asking price. Our market environment is not quite as fast, but we have experienced fairly quick sales this spring for desirable, well-priced properties. If you are looking online for a home you hope to tour when you come to the beach, you may want to schedule a trip soon. As a point of reference, as of earlier this week, there were 82 condos and single

Rehoboth is terrific but don’t overlook nearby Lewes and Milton in your home search. Washington Blade photo by Daniel Truitt

family homes for sale in-town Rehoboth. That’s a great selection. Prices range from $279,000 to over $4 million, depending on the type of property, size, condition, amenities and location. An average “intown” price is $1.5+M for a single/detached home. But remember, the Delaware beaches extend well beyond the Rehoboth City limits. You can stretch your dollar if you venture even a few miles north or west. Five miles puts you in Downtown Lewes and another 10 puts you in Downtown Milton – and there are many great communities and options in-between. You can bike between Lewes and Rehoboth on the new trail, through Gordon’s Pond and Cape Henlopen, or through the outlets and even stop for a beer. By contrast, there are 37 condos/ homes for sale as of earlier this week in downtown Lewes. Prices in town range

M AY 1 7 , 2 0 1 9 • WA SHINGTONBLA D E.COM • 59

from $308K for a condo to $2.7 million for a beachfront home. Lewes offers an eclectic blend of charming historic architecture and some brand-new construction, albeit on a much smaller scale than Rehoboth. And much of Lewes East of Route 1 (while not necessarily “in town Lewes”) offers easy access to the quiet Delaware Bay Beach. Your budget can stretch a bit more in Lewes - and you still have easy access to Rehoboth. One of our local restaurants, Heirloom, was a featured guest last week and served dinner at the James Beard Foundation in New York. And if you are willing to go another five miles north, Milton and its surrounding communities offer tremendous value, compared to Rehoboth and Lewes, offering increasing dining options and gems like its renovated Milton Theater and Dogfish Head brewery.

Plan a trip to Coastal Delaware soon and check out the new restaurants that have opened and re-opened over the winter in Rehoboth, Dewey, Lewes and Milton – both downtown and on the highway – from coffee and pastry to wine bars and brew pubs. It’s going to be a great summer at the beach!

Lee Ann Wilkinson

is a Realtor and CEO of The Lee Ann Wilkinson Group of Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Gallo Realty, the topselling real estate team in Delaware and #4 nationally for Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices. Visit LeeAnnGroup.com, email LeeAnn@LeeAnnGroup.com, or call her at 302-645-6664 for information on living at the beach.

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Located in Easton’s downtown historic district, visit local boutiques and restaurants, and celebrate the arts at our galleries, museums, theatre, and year-round festivals.

The Trippe Gallery

Architecture: Visual Harmony shopmarcrandall.com 3 East Dover Street Historic Downtown Easton, MD 21601 410.820.4077

M AY 1 7 , 2 0 1 9 • WA SHINGTONBLA DE.COM • 63

23 N. Harrison Street Easton, Maryland

410!310!8727 www.thetrippegallery.com

Celebrating 10 Years in DC HIVcare.org

Dr. Roxanne Cox-Iyamu, MD

Mark, AHF Client

New Location! 2141 K Street NW Suite 707 | (202) 329-7189