Washington Blade, Volume 54, Issue 31, August 04, 2023

Page 22

A violent Pride season

At least 145 anti-LGBTQ attacks reported in June, page 12

AUGUST 04, 2023 • VOLUME 54 • ISSUE 31 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM
(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)
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Meet CAMP Rehoboth’s new executive director Kim Leisey says LGBTQ community center is ‘in a really good place’

The new CAMP Rehoboth executive director is no stranger to Rehoboth Beach, Del. Kim Leisey has been coming here since the 1990s to find community among other queer people at a time when they weren’t accepted in society.

Leisey’s chosen family resides here — a group of close female friends she calls her “tribunal.” The pandemic brought her life into sharper focus, as it did for so many others. Her wife, Kathy Solano, retired in March 2020 — into the throws of the coronavirus pandemic.

“We were out taking a walk with our dog,” Leisey said. “And I just said to her, ‘When do you want to move to the beach? ‘And she’s like, ‘now.’”

And so the two moved to the beach, Leisey still in her job as senior associate vice president for student affairs at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County. When Leisey heard about the job opening for executive director at the storied CAMP Rehoboth organization that had helped so many like her, she jumped at the chance.

Now, two weeks into the job, she’s beginning to sketch out her priorities: Caring for LGBTQ+ seniors, engaging with youth, and partnering with corporate sponsors for community services and huge community events like the Sun Festival this Labor Day weekend.

Amid all the events and activities of the busy summer season, CAMP Rehoboth remains under an investigation by the Delaware Department of Justice. Former Executive Director David Mariner reported possible fake purchases and reimbursements before resigning and founding his own LGBTQ organization, Sussex Pride. The department is investigating $86,000 in payments to an employee, according to CAMP Rehoboth’s 2021 audited financial statements. Leisey declined to comment on the investigation but said it has not affected the organization’s finances.

“We’re financially healthy. The community respects and trusts us,” she said. “We have lots of businesses that are involved in sponsoring events and resources and services. So I think we’re in a really good place.”

Comings & Goings

Leisey said there is no competition or animosity between the two organizations, as did Mariner in a 2022 interview with the Blade.

“I enjoyed my time at CAMP Rehoboth,” he said. “I certainly hope there’s opportunities for us to collaborate.”

Leisey steps into her role as executive director of CAMP Rehoboth at a time when culture wars rage and many conservative politicians have set their sights on rolling back transgender rights. The wars have largely passed by solid-blue Delaware – the American Civil Liberties Union anti-trans bill tracker does not list any bills in Delaware.

Leisey, who is a cisgender woman, has been on a journey of her own about transgender issues. She founded the Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Faculty Staff Association in 2009, which was later renamed the LGBTQ+ Faculty Association.

“You know, 30 years ago, there wasn’t much information,” she said. “And so reading, experiencing, talking with people going to workshops, conferences, has all been part of my personal journey as it relates to trans folks.”

Leisey leaves the University of Maryland Baltimore County as it continues to rebound from the coronavirus pandemic, with both the lowest number of full-time undergraduate students since at least 2013 and a booming full-time graduate student population, the highest by far since at least 2013. The university defied predictions of slow enrollment growth along with other universities in the University of Maryland University System.

She says experience in administration at UMBC, working with not only students, but parents, family, staff, and faculty and her Ph.D. in human development lends itself well to her new job.

Equality Chamber names acting president

The Comings & Goings column is about sharing the professional successes of our community. We want to recognize those landing new jobs, new clients for their business, joining boards of organizations and other achievements. Please share your successes with us at: comingsandgoings@washblade.com

footprint is by providing an abundance of new dense housing in neighborhoods across the country.”

“I worked shoulder to shoulder with lots of diversity around age, to provide a campus environment that was such that students could do well academically and get their degree,” she said. “What I’m taking away that I’m bringing to CAMP is, we’ve got to spend time with our youth, and we’ve got to spend time understanding what their needs and their desires are, especially as it relates to our programs and services.”

Murray Archibald and Steve Elkins founded CAMP Rehoboth after heterosexual residents pushed back against the increasing prominence of gay and lesbian people in Rehoboth and the two started the organization after the Rehoboth Homeowner Association loudly opposed the vibe the queer community had created, pointing to noise, traffic, and parking as problems, CAMP Rehoboth writes in its history. The city soon voted to ban bars not connected to restaurants, spelling the end for bars including disco bar the Strand.

So the two founded CAMP Rehoboth — an acronym for “Creating A More Positive” Rehoboth — and conducted trainings, met with local leaders, and others to support the burgeoning queer population.

Leisey says she wants to tap into the entire Rehoboth community now.

“The artists, the musicians, the intellects, the poets, the scientists, I mean, retiring into this community in Rehoboth has been really eye opening, and seeing the human capital and resources here, and that folks realized this in spite of the oppression and the stress of being queer, LGBTQ, in sometimes in some careers that were not very friendly,” she said. “And so the human spirit in this area is pretty amazing. And this is what I love about CAMP.”

Congratulations to Joe Sangirardi on his new position as development director, California YIMBY. The mission of the organization is to make California an affordable place to live, work, and raise a family. On accepting the job, he said, “Housing policy is climate policy. The single greatest indicator of individual Americans’ carbon footprint is how dense of a neighborhood they live in. And that means that the single greatest way we can help individuals reduce their carbon

Until recently Sangirardi worked as deputy director for Development, Leadership Giving, with the Human Rights Campaign. Prior to that he was director of development, LGBTQ Victory Fund & Institute. He has worked with the University of Oklahoma, President’s Associates, as assistant director, LGBTQ Development.

Congratulations also to Aqua Bar and Grill in Rehoboth Beach for hosting a successful lifeguard happy hour to honor and raise funds for the beach patrol.

Congratulations also to Joshua O. Hill who has been named acting president of the Equality Chamber of Commerce of Metro, DC. The Equality Chamber is the local chapter of the National LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce.

On his appointment Hill said, “I am honored to have been elected by the board to the role of acting president for the remainder of the calendar year, and look forward to leading this incredible organization.” Hill was elected after the resignation of the previous president, Riah Gonzales-King who also resigned from the board. The board thanked her for a legacy of commitment to the organization.

06 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • AUGUST 04, 2023 • LOCAL NEWS
KIM LEISEY is CAMP Rehoboth’s new executive director. (Photo by Tim Ford) Members of the Rehoboth Beach patrol at Aqua last weekend.
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Judge dismisses lawsuit against Casa Ruby board members

The latest hearing in the civil case against Ruby Corado and Casa Ruby took place in D.C. Superior Court on July 21.

Corado did not attend the hearing in person, but called in from El Salvador where she currently lives.

The latest hearing focused on the three limited liability companies that Corado created and controlled: Casa Ruby LLC that did business as Moxie Health, Pneuma Behavioral Health LLC and Tigloballogistics LLC that operated as Casa Ruby Pharmacy.

tal, the case against her and Casa Ruby amounts to “persecution.” Corado once again spoke with the Blade on July 28 in El Salvador.

Corado said the allegations against her are the “result of many movements that have been made against her activism.”

“Many haters began to criticize me because a trans Latina woman had so much privilege in Washington, D.C.,” said Corado.

Corado left El Salvador in the 1980s during the country’s civil war.

She said the only thing she did once she arrived in the U.S. was to work on behalf of those who needed help. Corado told the Blade she wanted to work for the ideals of the LGBTQ rights movement, and not for herself.

Corado said she began to see what she described as the D.C. government sabotaging social change six years ago, and she reinterated her previous claims that political persecution stemmed from it.

“I did things that had to be done,” said Corado.

self-sufficient because she had seen other organizations in the U.S. do car washes, enter into partnerships with large businesses that sold products, open pharmacies and launch other projects that helped them become financially independent.

“The idea was born back in the year 2018 when I visited El Salvador with the mayor of D.C., Muriel Bowser, to talk about projects to mitigate migration,” she said.

Corado said she decided to support projects that would benefit LGBTQ Salvadorans in order to stop migration from the country. She also told the Blade she wanted to implement initiatives that would have employed LGBTQ people and provided support to older adults in the community.

Consuella López, who was the board’s president, and Meredith Zothlick, who was the board’s secretary, both testified during the July 21 hearing.

Corado told the Blade that López and Zothlick both testified there was a board during the time it was alleged that one didn’t exist.

The Office of the D.C. Attorney General has sued the three entities. Corado on July 21 wanted to testify on their behalf, but D.C. Superior Court Judge Danya A. Dayson told her she could not because legal rules prevent her from doing so. Corado has also not provided a lawyer to represent the companies.

Dayson on July 21 approved a motion filed by the Office of the D.C. Attorney General calling for her to issue a default judgement against the three LLC companies that requires them to pay a sum of money they allegedly improperly received from the original Casa Ruby at Corado’s direction and allegedly sent to Corado’s personal bank account.

Corado in December 2022 told the Washington Blade during an interview in San Salvador, the Salvadoran capi-

Corado referenced the three allegations against her — Casa Ruby did not have a board, the board never held meetings over 10 years and she gave herself a salary without the board’s authorization — and reiterated her belief that she is the victim. Corado told the Blade the D.C. government’s decision to no longer fund Casa Ruby did not impact her, but the LGBTQ people who benefitted from what she described as this “historic project.”

The Office of the D.C. Attorney General has also accused Corado of withdrawing more than $400,000 of Casa Ruby funds to work in El Salvador. Corado maintains it was a personal loan that she made to the board and it was approved.

“This was to look for self-sustainable projects and at the same time to provide sustainability to Casa Ruby in Washington, D.C.,” Corado told the Blade.

She also said she has the necessary evidence that proves she owes the bank money because it transferred the funds to her as a personal credit. Corado told the Blade this evidence has not been presented in the case because it has yet to be discussed.

Corado said she justified the efforts to make Casa Ruby

“They mentioned there had been board meetings, but they didn’t always take notes,” said Corado. “They also said that they had indeed approved my salary.”

Corado told the Blade that López and Zothlink in their testimony denied all of the allegations against her. Corado added statements that Holly Goldmann, who was a Casa Ruby staffer, has also supported her.

The Wanda Alston Foundation, which Dayson has named receiver, has sued the former board members.

Dayson on July 21 dismissed the complaint. The Wanda Alston Foundation has appealed the decision.

The civil case against Corado and Casa Ruby will continue.

It remains unclear whether Corado has retained a lawyer, but she said the attorney who continues to advise her has said he must follow the legal process. Corado, for her part, told the Blade she will remain in El Salvador to continue with what she describes as the process of “self care” for her physical and mental health.

ERNESTO VALLE

(Lou Chibbaro, Jr., and Michael K. Lavers contributed to this story.)

Victory Fund endorses Joe Vogel for Congress

The LGBTQ+ Victory Fund on Thursday announced it has endorsed state Del. Joe Vogel (D-Montgomery County) in the Democratic primary for Maryland’s 6th Congressional District.

Vogel announced his candidacy on May 8. He would be Maryland’s first openly LGBTQ, first Latino and first Gen Z congressman.

“LGBTQ+ Victory Fund is proud to endorse Joe’s historic congressional campaign,” said Victory Fund President Annise Parker in a press release. “For far too long, LGBTQ+ Marylanders have lacked representation in Congress. We are confident Joe’s positive vision for America, political chops and grassroots support will resonate with

voters come Election Day. As anti-LGBTQ and anti-choice legislation moves through legislative bodies across the country, including Congress, we must elect leaders like Joe who will go to bat for our rights. This is an all-handson-deck moment.”

Vogel is one of six candidates in the competitive race. Equality PAC and U.S. Reps. Ritchie Torres (D-N.Y.) and Mark Takano (D-Calif.), who co-chair the PAC previously endorsed him.

08 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • AUGUST 04, 2023 • LOCAL NEWS
ISABELLE KRAVIS RUBY CORADO in El Salvador (Photo via Facebook) Maryland state Del. JOE VOGEL (D-Montgomery County) (Blade photo by Michael Key)
AUGUST 04, 2023 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • 09

New local LGBTQ support services group debuts D.C. Safe Haven to provide ‘harm reduction’ programs discontinued by Casa Ruby

More than two dozen people turned out July 28 for a ribbon-cutting ceremony marking the official opening of D.C. Safe Haven, an LGBTQ community services organization, including a drop-in center, located at 331 H St., N.E.

Transgender rights advocate Iya Dammons, the founder and executive director of Baltimore Safe Haven, has been working for the past year to lay the groundwork and set up the infrastructure for D.C. Safe Haven, she told the Washington Blade. Dammons said she would serve as interim executive director of the D.C. Safe Haven and continue as CEO of both the Baltimore and D.C. groups after a permanent executive director is named for the D.C. Safe Haven.

Among other things, D.C. Safe Haven will provide many of the important services offered by the D.C. LGBTQ community services organization Casa Ruby, with a special outreach to the transgender community, before Casa Ruby shut down all of its operations last year.

“We have a computer lab, there’s a case manager, there’s a peer educator, there’s a harm reduction set up,” Dammons said in describing the services that will be offered in its second-floor space at the H Street location. “We have supplies such as Narcan,” she said, referring to the nasal spray medication used to revive someone having an opioid drug overdose.

“We have condoms, safer sex kits, and you can get meals here, hot showers, and you can do laundry,” she continued. “You can also get a change of clothing.” And in what Dammons called a particularly important development, the

University of Maryland will operate a once-a-week clinic on Tuesdays at the D.C. Safe Haven offices to do sexually transmitted infection (STI) testing and treatment services.

Dammons said another important service D.C. Safe Have plans to offer soon at a separate location will be a low barrier shelter for homeless LGBTQ youth between the ages of 18 and 24.

She also has pointed out that although she has operated the Baltimore Safe Haven since 2018, she is a native Washingtonian who was born and raised and went to school in D.C.

“All of my family is here,” she told the Blade. “The thing

that makes it phenomenal for me – the assets I had here in Washington, D.C. made me the woman I am today,” she said.

Among those attending the ribbon-cutting ceremony, held on the sidewalk outside the D.C. Safe Haven’s entrance door was longtime D.C. transgender rights advocate Earline Budd; Japer Bowles, director of the D.C. Mayor’s Office of LGBTQ Affairs; Ryan Bos, executive director of the D.C. Capital Pride Alliance; and Dominique Morgan, Director of Funds for Trans Generations, a project of the national foundation Borealis Philanthropy.

Morgan told the Blade her foundation would play a role in helping to support D.C. Safe Haven financially.

Others attending were members of the D.C. Safe Haven staff and board of directors. Dammons introduced and invited them to join her, along with community supporters and LGBTQ people who already have begun to receive some of its services, in a group photo during and after the ribbon-cutting ceremony.

“To all of you, I love you and this is just a start,” Dammons told the gathering. “I want you all to understand that Black Trans Women Matters and that our representation matters,” she said.

“So, with that being said, let’s open this place up,” Dammons said. “Our team, our sisters, and everyone, I want you all standing behind me because no one is greater than you all. And I’m doing this, but I can give the scissors to everybody here because I want you all to build this with me.”

Groundbreaking ceremony launches first D.C. LGBTQ seniors home Mary’s House for Older Adults to operate group house for 15 seniors

D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser, three members of the D.C Council, and D.C. Congressional Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton joined about 200 others in a groundbreaking ceremony on Wednesday to launch construction of the city’s first home for LGBTQ seniors.

The local organization Mary’s House for Older Adults, which will operate the home on property it owns at 401 Anacostia Rd., S.E. in the city’s Fort Dupont neighborhood, said it will include 15 single-occupancy residential units and over 5,000 square feet of communal shared living space.

Among those hosting the event was the Mary’s House founder, president, and CEO Imani Woody, who welcomed the city officials and thanked them, including Mayor Bowser, for arranging for the city to provide financial support for the project.

Woody told the gathering that with the support of the city and private sector backers Mary’s House was “creating a brick-and-mortar residence for 15 people who identify as LGBTQ/SGL [Same Gender Loving] without fear of reprisal or discrimination.” She added, “They can bring their whole selves to 401 Anacostia Road, S.E.”

The three-story building will include on its ground floor level “common spaces such as a reception area, great room, porch, kitchen, dining, living room, and administrative offices,” according to a joint statement released by Mary’s House and Northern Real Estate Urban Ventures, a D.C.-based de-

velopment consulting firm that has entered a partnership with Mary’s House for the new LGBTQ seniors home.

The statement says the upper two floors will include the residential units as well as a game room, an arts and crafts room and common areas for storage, seating, and a laundry facility.

“The mission of Mary’s House is to develop housing and inclusive environments that comprehensively address affordability and access and diminishes the constant worry of discrimination or even violence based upon the LGBTQ/SGL status of the individual,” the statement says.

“Mary’s House intends to meet the emotional, recreational, social and other similar needs of older adults through health and wellness programming, referral of community and social based services, and education and advocacy,” according to the statement.

“We’re thrilled that this is advancing,” Mayor Bowser told the Washington Blade after she, other city officials, and supporters used shovels to ceremoniously “break ground” in a school yard outside Kimball Elementary School, where the ceremony was held.

Organizers said the Mary’s House property, located a short distance from the school, was not large enough to accommodate the number of people that attended the groundbreaking ceremony.

“You heard Dr. Woody say it’s been a project that’s 10 years in the making,” Bowser said. “The District is heavily involved in this very important affordable housing for the LGBTQ community,” she said.

In addition to Bowser and Norton, D.C. Council members Robert White, Anita Bonds, and Vincent Gray, who represents Ward 7 where Mary’s House is located, participated in the ceremony.

Gina Merritt, the principal and founder of Northern Real Estate Urban Ventures, identifies in the joint statement the D.C. government agencies and several other companies that have become involved in helping to finance the new Mary’s House residential facility.

“We are excited to build D.C.’s first affordable, communal living space for older LGBTQ/SGL individuals,” she said in the statement. “This project would not be possible without the financial and advisory support of Mayor Bowser and the D.C. Department of Housing and Community Development, the D.C. Housing Finance Agency, Wells Fargo and its Growing Diverse Housing Developers program, Capital Impact and its Equitable Development program, National Affordable Housing Trust and its black Developer Capital Initiative, and Goldman Sachs’ One Million Black Women program,” Merritt states.

In response to a request from the Blade, Merritt said the total development cost for the new Mary’s House LGBTQ seniors residence is $11.6 million.

Woody said the construction of the new building was expected to be completed by the end of 2024. She has said the property has been a part of her life. The current smaller house on the property was her childhood home. That house will be demolished to make way for the new, larger seniors home.

10 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • AUGUST 04, 2023 • LOCAL NEWS
IYA DAMMONS is founder and executive director of Baltimore Safe Haven. (Washington Blade photo by Lou Chibbaro Jr.) Mary’s House for Older Adults will operate the home on property it owns at 401 Anacostia Rd., S.E. (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
AUGUST 04, 2023 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • 11

Pride month saw 145 incidents of anti-LGBTQ violence: report

GLAAD and the Anti-Defamation League’s Center on Extremism report there were 145 incidents of anti-LGBTQ violence, harassment, and vandalism during Pride Month this year in the U.S.

The “dramatic spike” has seen at least five murders of LGBTQ people in recent weeks, GLAAD wrote in a statement about the killing of gay dancer O’Shae Sibley over the weekend in a suspected hate crime.

“Politicians spewing lies and proposing policies filled with disinformation, and media repeating their false and dangerous rhetoric unchallenged, are creating an incredibly hostile environment that endangers all LGBTQ people and all queer people of color,” said Darian Aaron, GLAAD’s director of local news, U.S. South.

GLAAD notes the following recent murders of LGBTQ people in addition to Sibley:

• 18-year-old Jacob Williamson in South Carolina, a transgender man who was killed after going on a date.

• 24-year-old Akira Ross, who was shot and killed at a Cedar Park, Texas, gas station by a man who reportedly yelled a homophobic slur at her.

• Three transgender women, Cam Chamberlain, Ash-

ley Burton, and Chanell Perez Ortiz, who were killed in separate incidents in Central Texas, Atlanta, and Carolina, Puerto Rico, as first reported by PGHLesbian.

• Colin Smith, a straight, cisgender man, who was killed defending an LGBTQ friend being harassed by a man using homophobic slurs according to The Oregonian.

GLAAD’s research also found “more than 160 attacks against drag events and performers over the last year, increasingly with violence and fomented by extremist and white supremacist groups,” the group wrote.

In addition to the incidents documented over Pride month, GLAAD and the Anti-Defamation League’s Center on Extremism found “more than 350 incidents of harassment, vandalism, and assault over an eleven-month period beginning in June 2022.”

Aaron said, “There are reports that Sibley was vogueing to a track from Beyonce’s Renaissance album, music from the biggest pop star in the world celebrating Black queer people. O’Shae Sibley had the audacity to live without the restraints of patriarchy and toxic masculinity, embracing freedom and joy. He should still be alive to celebrate all that

made him great and inspired others to live their truth. “

Police sources told CBS News New York on Monday that a suspect involved in the stabbing death of Sibley has been identified by the NYPD.

ACLU sues Mo. school for denying trans student bathroom access

The American Civil Liberties Union of Missouri filed a lawsuit against Platte County School District for allegedly denying a transgender former student access to bathrooms matching her gender identity, the group announced on Tuesday.

The complaint argues the district’s policies and practices violated provisions of the Missouri Human Rights Act and the Equal Protection Clause of the state’s constitution.

“Forcing transgender students to use the bathroom or locker room that matches their sex designated at birth is not only discrimination but dangerous and causes serious harm to Missouri’s youth,” said Gillian Wilcox, deputy director of litigation at the ACLU of Missouri, in a press re-

lease announcing the move.

The student “lives as a female and was living as a female when she was denied the use of the girls’ restroom at her school,” and received “a series of escalating punishments ranging from verbal warnings to out-of-school suspension” for noncompliance with the policy, according to the press release.

When she began using the boys’ restroom after serving a suspension, the student was harassed and threatened with rape, the ACLU of Missouri said. Suffering anxiety and depression, she was unable to return to school and finished her freshman year virtually.

The Movement Advancement Projects tracks laws across

the country restricting trans people’s access to restrooms and facilities consistent with their gender identities. These range from statutes defining “sex” in ways that may impact access to Florida’s law that criminalizes the use of “bathrooms and facilities consistent with their gender identity in all schools, colleges and government-owned buildings and spaces.”

The ACLU of Missouri is challenging efforts to ban gender affirming care for minors through implementation of Senate Bill 49 and the state attorney general’s attempt to use consumer protection laws for this purpose, joined in litigation by Lambda Legal and the law firm Bryan Cave.

Mich. becomes 22nd state to ban conversion therapy

A ban on conversion therapy for minors was signed into law in Michigan last week in the latest development of the new Democratic-led state legislature’s push for LGBTQ rights in Michigan.

Gov. Gretchen Whitmer said in a news release that as the mother of a gay daughter, she is grateful to have the opportunity to make the state a more welcoming place to live for everyone’s children.

“Today, we are banning the horrific practice of conversion therapy in Michigan and ensuring this is a state where you can be who you are,” Whitmer said. “Let’s continue working together to ensure anyone can ‘make it’ in Michigan, expand fundamental freedoms, and fight back against any and all forms of discrimination.”

The legislation, House Bill 4616 and House Bill 4617, effectively bars mental health professionals from seeking to alter a minor’s sexual orientation or gender identity, or risk facing disciplinary action that could result in the loss of their professional licenses.

The legislation does not prohibit the practice of gender-affirming care or support during exploration of gender or sexuality or counseling to prevent unsafe relationship practices.

There is no evidence that conversion therapy works, but there is evidence that shows it is dangerous to children, bill sponsor Rep. Felicia Brabec (D-Pittsfield Township), who is also a clinical psychologist, said in the news release from the governor’s office and in her testimony on the House floor

in June.

“I am acutely aware that kids need to be free to express themselves without the fear or threat of damaging pseudo-psychology like conversion therapy. With the support of several mental health organizations throughout our state and nation, I can confidently say that this law will help to ensure that therapists like myself continue to do no harm in our practices, while protecting the LGBTQ youth in our state,” Brabec said.

Proponents of banning conversion therapy say legislation like what’s being implemented in Michigan prevents suicide.

When Whitmer signed an executive order in 2021 banning the use of state and federal funds being used for conversion therapy on minors, the Trevor Project, a non-profit group working to create a safer environment for LGBTQ kids, applauded the action. The Trevor Project added at the time that a 2020 report by the Williams Institute at UCLA School of Law found that lesbian, gay and bisexual youth who experienced conversion therapy were more than twice as likely to report multiple suicide attempts in the last year than their peers who hadn’t been in conversion therapy.

CHRISTOPHER KANE
12 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • AUGUST 04, 2023 • NATIONAL NEWS
Michigan Gov. GRETCHEN WHITMER on July 26 signed House Bills 4616 and 4617. (Photo courtesy of Whitmer’s office/Facebook) KEMAR JEWEL (left) with O’SHAE SIBLEY (Photo courtesy of Kemar Jewel/Facebook)
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Meet Poland’s out gay lawmaker fighting for LGBTQ rights

BRUSSELS, Belgium — Speaking with the Washington Blade outside of the European Parliament building here, Polish lawmaker Robert Biedroń was quick to smile and exuded an unassuming confidence. The openly gay leader has become a well-known figure in the LGBTQ movement in Poland, even as the ruling party has gained international headlines for its anti-LGBTQ stances.

Biedroń grew up in the small southeast city of Krosno, about 80 miles from the Ukrainian border, where he said he struggled to find others who were like him. He said he did not know of a single gay person in his village.

“I was growing up in an area where there was a lot of forest,” he said. “And I had the chance to meet wolves, birds, and foxes. But never any gays.”

Eventually though, Biedroń found books about the LGBTQ experience, and learned of others who were living freely and openly. This opened his eyes and set the course for his career and life.

“The day I found out that there are people who are like me — who can live with dignity,” he said. “This was the day that I knew I’m unstoppable. And nothing will stop me from this fight.”

His home country stands out among European Union countries when it comes to LGBTQ policies. A May ranking by ILGA-Europe, placed Poland at the bottom of the EU, and 42nd of the 49 countries in Europe.

Same-sex couples cannot legally marry in Poland and Article 18 of the Polish Constitution defines marriage as “a union of a man and a woman.” During the 2020 presidential election, leaders of the ruling Law and Justice (PiS) Party made headlines, calling LGBTQ identity an imported “ideology.” During this timeframe, various local and regional governments in Poland established primarily symbolic “LGBT Ideology-Free Zones,” which were condemned by the EU.

“We are the most homophobic country on the map of Europe in the EU,” said Biedroń.

Poland is one of the most conservative countries in the European Union and is heavily Catholic. According to the U.S. State Department, roughly 85 percent of the country identifies as Roman Catholic.

Public opinion has lagged behind Western Europe when it comes to support of the LGBTQ community.

Forty-seven percent said ‘homosexuality should not be accepted by society,’ when the Pew Research Center conducted a poll, in between 2015 and 2016.

Despite all this, Biedroń, decided to enter activism, co-founding the Campaign Against Homophobia in 2001.

Spring “Wiosna,” which won more than six percent in the European elections. This election sent Biedroń into the European Parliament, as the first openly gay member from Poland.

“The thing I want to achieve,” he said. “Is that at the end of my life, I will say I’ve done everything to be happy. And if this could help other people it will multiply by millions my happiness.”

Poles are set to cast their votes in parliamentary elections this fall. A coalition led by the PiS currently has the majority in the Sejm. Aaron Korewa, the director of the Warsaw office at The Atlantic Council, said that the Sejm is the dominant chamber in Poland.

“It’s whoever wins the majority in the lower house, in the Sejm, that forms a government with a prime minister,” he said.

Biedroń’s domestic political party is called “The Left,” or “Lewica,” although Korewa said that this is not currently a major party. He said the two dominant parties are the PiS, which formed under an alliance called the “United Right,” and the (CO) “Civic Platform” Party.

Korewa said that these parties are dominated by two strong central figures, Jaroslaw Kaczyński from the PiS and Donald Tusk, from the CO.

“It’s basically Donald Tusk and Jaroslaw Kaczyński having at it again for the future of the country,” he said.

Poland does not have a presidential election until 2025. In 2020, Biedroń ran for president, garnering just over 2 percent of the vote. Biedroń remained coy when asked about his intentions to run for president again in the future.

“Because I have only one life,” he said. “There is no other chance. If I wanted to live in dignity — if I wanted to live my full life — I had to do it. Because nobody else would do it. Besides I knew I’m the ‘only gay in the village.’ The wolves and birds will not fight for my life.”

After years of activism, Biedroń decided to enter politics. In 2011, he became the first openly gay member in the Sejm, the lower House of the Polish Parliament. In 2014, he became the first openly gay mayor in the country, taking the top leadership role in the northwest city of Słupsk.

Then in 2019, he founded a new political party called

“Of course it’s good to be a president,” he said. “It’s good to be a member of the parliament. But at the end of the day, the best is to be happy. And that’s what I’m fighting for.”

Biedroń’s fight in Brussels and Warsaw might seem far away from those in the United States, but the lawmaker argued that LGBTQ advocates should not become complacent.

“Democracy, human rights, rule of law,” he said, “they’re like beautiful flowers. You need to water them every day. Otherwise, they fade away. And this is the Polish reality of today.”

Venezuelan police arrest 33 men at gay sauna

Police in Venezuela’s Carabobo state on Sunday raided a gay sauna and arrested 33 people.

A Venezuelan activist told the Washington Blade the arrests in Valencia, which is the country’s third largest city, took place “without a search warrant, without due process” and violated “the fundamental rights of 33 Venezuelan adults who were in full use of their mental and physical faculties.”

“[They were subjected to] degrading treatment,” said the activist. “[The police] deprived them of their liberty and subjected them to public ridicule.”

One local media report indicates an “orgy” was taking place during a “sex party” at the sauna when the raid took place.

The report indicates one of the participants who police arrested lives with HIV. It also said party organizers planned to sell videos of the men having sex they recorded.

The activist with whom the Blade spoke said a judge on Wednesday released 30 of the 33 men who were arrested and ordered them to report to authorities every 30 days until they go to trial. The activist noted the sauna’s owner and two masseurs will remain in custody until they are able to pay bail.

Discrimination and violence based on sexual orientation, gender identity and HIV is commonplace in Venezuela, a South American country that remains in the midst of an ongoing political and economic crisis.

Members of Venezuela’s General Directorate of Military Counterintelligence in January 2021 raided the offices of Azul Positivo, an HIV/AIDS service organization and arrested the group’s president and five other staff members. Police on Feb. 15, 2019, raided the offices of Fundación Mavid, another HIV/AIDS service organization in Valencia, and arrested three staffers after they confiscated donated infant formula and medications for people with HIV/AIDS.

“Persecution against LGBTIQ+ people in Venezuela is increasing,” said the Venezuelan Education-Action Program on Human Rights (PROVEA), a Venezuelan human rights organization, in a tweet.

14 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • AUGUST 04, 2023 • INTERNATIONAL NEWS
‘We are the most homophobic country’ in Europe
Polish lawmaker ROBERT BIEDROŃ became the first openly gay member of the lower House of parliament. (Washington Blade photo by Evan Koslof)
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Jamie Lee Curtis on trans kids: ‘Love is Love’

Showing up, not just for children, but for all human beings

HOLLYWOOD — Years ago, as a gay dad, my kids’ elementary school had PTA meetings and events, and lots of chores needing parental support. I showed up and joined a bunch of, usually, moms to pitch in.

Many of the women would gush “Oh, you are SUCH a great dad!” I heard it a lot.

NO I AM NOT, I would think, well, OK, maybe I was striving to be that, but not for the reason they were saying I was one. I was, as they were, doing what my children needed me to do. I was a decent dad in those moments. I was doing what, to me, was the bare minimum, nothing outstanding, nothing heroic. I was just showing up.

I do not personally know the national treasure known as Jamie Lee Curtis, but her reaction to praise of her parenting is similar to mine, “People have said ‘you are so great to accept her,’ and I am ‘WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?’ This is my daughter. This human being has come to me and said, ‘This is who I am ‘ and my job is to say ‘Welcome Home’ and defend her right to exist to anyone who claims that she doesn’t, and there are those people.”

Jamie Lee is an actress, author, sober advocate and more. Her role with her daughter takes priority, however. She has said, “Being a parent … that is the real reason we are here.”

Jamie Lee Curtis is about showing up, not just for kids, but for all human beings. Her recent Oscar win was for putting depth to a character she describes as “a forgotten woman.” In her children’s book “Is There Really a Human Race,” she writes “Take what’s inside you and make big, bold choices. And for those who can’t speak for themselves, use BOLD voices.”

Jamie Lee uses a bold voice. She showed up visibly at Disneyland dressed in Pride. She wrote to the world, “Love is love. A mother’s love knows no judgment. As a mother, I stand in total solidarity with my children as they move forward in the universe as their authentic selves with their own minds and bodies and ideas. On this trans visibility day my daughter and I are visible.”

Her voice has inspired her daughter not just to be herself but to pass it on and stand for others as well, “My mom has supported me ever since I came out as trans. I love her so much. There are allies everywhere for the trans community. You just need to look for them, and we will stand by your side for the long run,” Ruby has declared.

Jamie Lee also exemplifies the struggle of parents of trans kids. While she does not point this out, parents, such as she, are under as much attack as their kids. They are being villianized, derided and in some cases, legally harassed. Many are fleeing unfriendly states, just so they can continue showing up for their kids.

“The most important thing is that I don’t know everything, and I wake up every day sober saying, I don’t know everything. I’ve gone to teachers, I’ve gone to people and said please teach me,” Jamie Lee confesses.

Jamie Lee Curtis knows a lot more than she thinks she does. Somewhere in her, she knew she would not get a second chance at this. Eight years ago, another mother did not recognize a crucial moment when it came.

That mother was the parent of Leelah Alcorn, who had come out to her as trans. “We don’t support that, religiously,” Alcorn’s mother told CNN later. “But we told him that we loved him unconditionally. We loved him no matter what. I loved my son. People need to know that I loved him. He was a good kid, a good boy.”

Leelah left a note before walking in front of a truck, not long after that talk with her mother. Her note said, “After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong. If you are reading this, parents, please don’t tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don’t ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won’t do anything but make them hate them self. That’s exactly what it did to me.”

Leelah’s mother had not even listened enough to know her child’s name was now “Leelah.” The first she heard of her daughter’s chosen name was on the note left behind. She had wanted to be a good mother, but she failed to show up when her child needed her the most. The Alcorn story is not a rare one, and parents of trans kids have learned that their reaction, their support, their willingness to advocate for their kids, is a matter of life or death. (A study by the National Center for Transgender Equality found that 41% of 6.450 trans respondents had attempted suicide.)

16 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • AUGUTST 04, 2023 • VIEWPOINT
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is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist. He writes regularly for the Blade.

Say NO to D.C. ranked choice voting, open primaries

Neither proposal would benefit local residents

There is a proposed ballot initiative in D.C. that would do two things: bring ranked-choice voting (RCV) to D.C., and allow for open primaries. Open primaries would mean any registered voter, who didn’t designate a party when they registered, could now choose to cast a ballot in any party primary. I have a simple recommendation for voters if this initiative does get on the ballot, VOTE NO!

According to the Washington Post the fi ght for this initiative is being led by Lisa D. T. Rice, a Ward 7 ANC commissioner, who claims independent voters are currently disenfranchised. Well, Lisa and others, you have disenfranchised yourselves. It is your choice to register as independent, which we all know means nothing. We also know from most polling that ‘independents’ lean either Republican or Democratic. They have no independent initiatives.

Generally, initiatives like this are brought to you by two groups. One likes to think they are “progressive;” another is either too lazy, or think they are too good, to get involved in party politics. I have spoken to several people who support this initiative and gather they seem to think it’s beneath them to get involved in party politics, and would just rather let others fi ght over these things, and then come in at the end and tell the party who should represent them. Others, some Republicans, have told me they think open primaries would be a great way for them to have a voice in choosing the Democratic candidate, or maybe the Green Party candidate. They recognize in D.C., which is overwhelmingly Democratic, the winner of the Democratic nomination nearly always wins the general election. My response to them is if they want to choose the Democratic candidate, just register as a Democrat. You can still vote Republican in a general election if you like. D.C.’s Home Rule charter ensures two members of the Council be non-Democrats. I agree, that often means a Democrat reregistering as independent, since it is the rare Republican, running on the Republican Party platform, who could win in D.C.

I grew up with the understanding that you choose a political party when you register to vote, based on the general philosophy of that party. Then you work within it to bring to the fore issues you care about. You also work within the party to decide who will be representing it in the general election. The reason you have party primaries is not everyone agrees on a candidate. I support the idea that we should not have candidates representing us who can’t get 50% of the primary vote. So, hold a run-off election between the top two candidates if no one reaches 50%. These run-offs can be held two weeks after the initial primary, giving interested voters the chance to look at both the top candidates, choosing the one they like best. There is a debate over the cost of this. But that becomes irrelevant in D.C. where the Council agreed to spend millions on public fi nancing of candidates, making it so easy to access that money, we end up with seven, eight, and nine or more candidates for each offi ce, most of them having no chance in hell of winning.

Some people have claimed RCV brings out more voters. Fair Vote , the national group promoting RCV, agrees there is no defi nitive research to prove that. With RCV people mark their ballots ranking each candidate from one to however many are on the ballot. Some will do that; others will bullet vote. Some will do it knowing what the candidates stand for, however most won’t have any idea what most of them stand for.

Rice is quoted in the Washington Post saying “With ranked choice voting we would be rewarded with politicians who must work hard for our support.” I don’t know any offi ce holder in D.C. who hasn’t worked hard for votes. Actually, you could fi nd just the opposite; candidates would be much more wishy-washy on issues in an effort to appeal to more people. In essence telling voters even less about what they really want to do so as not to alienate them. With RCV you have the real chance for games as we saw in New York’s ranked choice mayoral primary, when Andrew Yang and Kathryn Garcia endorsed each other, suggesting each of their voters give the other their second vote, even though they had totally different platforms.

The bottom line is neither RCV nor open primaries would benefi t the people of D.C. in any way. So just say NO! to both.

18 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • AUGUTST 04, 2023 • VIEWPOINT
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Michigan resident this month defied prohibition

When Adm. Rachel Levine, assistant secretary of health, declared 2023 the summer of Pride, she rang a clarion bell but also delivered a challenge in our hate-filled era because, as per the ACLU, LGBTQ communities have recently seen close to 500 anti-LGBTQ pieces of legislation proposed across the nation.

Yet LGBTQ communities persist in celebration, resistance, and resilience. More than 30 cities from Silicon Valley, Calif., to Atlanta are scheduled to commemorate Pride from July to November. Tragically, many communities face homophobic legislation that now bans flying the rainbow flag.

I was dismayed to learn this trend of hatred had reached my home state of Michigan — because it’s a reflection of a broader effort to disappear our flag and disenfranchise our communities.

I am a proud native son of Michigan, a graduate of the Lansing public school system, an alumnus of Michigan State University. My state taught me to respect neighbors from all walks of life. It’s a lesson I keep close to my heart I was profoundly disappointed to learn of the recent ban on flying the rainbow flag in Hamtramck. Since the shocking June 13 vote banning flying the flag, compassionate citizens have protested this legislation. They held a large rally on June 24. Many businesses and citizens proudly flew the rainbow flag in defiance. And, in an act of civil disobedience, a brave soul raised the flag on July 9.

The injustice in Hamtramck reflects a larger trend of rising bigotry.

Make no mistake; these bans and attacks on the rainbow flag are not in Michigan alone. Across the country we are seeing a wave of anti-LGBTQ legislation: They include bans on LGBTQ-inclusive school curricula, on books and on lifesaving trans healthcare needs. Suppressing speech and removing our cherished symbols is part of a larger mission: Relegating the LGBTQ community to permanent second-class citizenship.

As bigotry and violence increase, we must unite and push back against the bullies.

I’ve committed my life to social justice. That is why I founded the Gilbert Baker Foundation. Our group honors the legacy of artist and activist Gilbert Baker, who created the rainbow flag in 1978. Through art and education projects, we confront the haters.

The rainbow flag offers LGBTQ+ people a message of hope and sanctuary. Small wonder right-wing extremists want to destroy it. In the past two years, they’ve had the rainbow flag banned from flying in more than 40 American towns.

In response to this alarming trend, the Gilbert Baker Foundation launched a counter-offensive: Save The Rainbow Flag. Working with the ACLU, we‘ve created a toolkit to help you confront and stop bigotry in your hometown.

Hamtramck, like so many other towns, uses faulty thinking in banning the rainbow flag. Their residents and all-Muslim town council said that the Pride flag — and homosexuality — clash with their religious beliefs. Hamtramck’s new policy also bans flags with racist and political views. To identify the rainbow flag this way is a smokescreen for bigotry. The rainbow flag is not a political flag. It is a flag for sexual and gender minorities from all parties, from all races.

To deny public display of the rainbow flag is to place a target on our back. Studies show that when communities remove our flag from public property, there is a concurrent rise in anti-LGBTQ hate crimes. This past January, federal legislation to ban the rainbow flag was submitted to the U.S. Congress — with 30 Republican sponsors.

Public officials are elected to decide between right and wrong. Instead of shirking from these civic duties, leaders of towns like Hamtramck should stand up and state publicly that there is a difference between a bad symbol like the Confederate flag, which celebrates racism, and the rainbow flag, which offers a message of hope and acceptance.

This is my plea to elected officials everywhere: Embrace our founding values of inclusion and justice. By removing the rainbow flag, you send a message of support to our persecutors. Upholding bigotry will be your legacy.

Fighting back against bullies is an American value. And it works. Citizens have already reversed rainbow flag bans in cities in Oregon and New York. Every state needs an energetic community response to end this wave of hate. Let’s prove that America supports all of its people.

20 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • AUGUTST 04, 2023 • VIEWPOINT
The rainbow flag: Flown, banned, and raised again
CHARLES BEAL is president of the Gilbert Baker Foundation.
AUGUST 04, 2023 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • 21

‘And Just Like That’ ditches preachiness to become addictive TV

Second season wraps Aug. 24 with Samantha Jones cameo

“Do you know where your children are?” New York TV station WNYW asks the parents in its audience every night.

This isn’t a worry for Charlotte York Goldenblatt (Kristin Davis) or Lisa Todd Wexley (Nicole Ari Parker) two of the main characters featured on season two of “And Just Like That,” (AJLT), the “Sex and the City” reboot, airing weekly on Max through Aug. 24. Their children (from elementary school kids to teens) are safely ensconced at a posh summer camp. While their off-spring are away, Charlotte, who back in the day ran an art gallery, is having sex so good it’s like fireworks on the Fourth of July with her husband Harry (Evan Handler), a highly successful divorce lawyer.

Lisa, a distinguished documentarian filmmaker, and her husband Herbert (Christopher Jackson), a wealthy investment banker who’s thinking about running for New York City comptroller, devote themselves to their work. And to enjoying the rare treat of having a drink at a swanky bar by themselves (sans children).

Meanwhile, corporate (turned human rights) lawyer Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon) knows all too well where her son Brady (Niall Cunningham) is. He’s living with Steve (David Eigenberg), his dad, in their Brooklyn townhouse. Miranda’s relationship with Che Diaz (Sara Ramirez), a nonbinary, bisexual, Mexican, Irish comedian who’s making a TV sitcom pilot with Tony Danza (playing himself), has brought Miranda, Steve and Brady into therapy.

Carrie Bradshaw, writer, (Sarah Jessica Parker), Seema Patel, a hot real estate agent, (Sarita Choudhury) and Dr. Nya Wallace (Karen Pittman), a Columbia Law School professor, are so busy grieving, having exit-out-of-grief sex and mourning stolen Birken bags that they wouldn’t have time for children. Nya is divorcing her musician husband Andre Rashad (LeRoy McClain) after many years of marriage because he wants kids and she doesn’t.

Yes! It’s summer in the city, “And Just Like That,” the fab ladies are back! With less sizzle than in “Sex and the City,” but still fun watch.

No matter how hard the writers try, no amount of additional characters could make up for the absence of Samantha Jones, the utterly fabulous PR maven, who was an integral part of “Sex and the City.” Even the highly talented Samantha Irby, a bisexual producer and writer of AJLT, couldn’t create a character as captivating as Samantha, who is slated to make a cameo in the final episode.

But the sophomore season of “And Just Like That” has its share of style and juice. How can you resist a series that, in the seven episodes that have aired to date, has given us a (fictional) Met gala and a “cum slut?”

The first season of AJLT spent much time trying to make “Sex and the City” (SATC) more diverse.

It succeeded in many ways. Che, Seema, Lisa and Nya, the new featured characters of color, have intriguing stories. They have good chemistry with the original SATC characters. Yet, it sometimes felt heavy-handed and joyless.

The current season of the show, mostly, dispenses with the exposition and preachiness of season 1. In this season, sex and glam fashion are back in the city.

The episode of “AJLT,” when Charlotte becomes Harry’s Kegel coach to help him with his “dust balls” when he can’t ejaculate and Carrie talks of “Casper, the friendly cum,” is nearly as good as SATC’s “funky spunk” episode.

The women on AJLT are fab. But one of the most enjoyable characters is Anthony Marantino (Mario Cantone), who runs the Hot Fellas bakery. In one hilarious scene, he turns to his BFF Charlotte when he desperately needs to find a Hot Fella to appear with him on Drew Barrymore’s talk show. This being AJLT, Charlotte instantly finds a hot Italian poet who more than fits the bill. Dressed in his Hot Fellas uniform, the poet’s “package” is so great, that looking at him makes Barrymore sweat.

In another scene, Lisa, wearing a dress (designed by Valentino) with a huge train that won’t fit into a cab, has to walk 10 blocks to the Met Gala. “It’s not crazy,” she says to Herbert, who’s holding her train, “It’s Valentino.”

“And Just Like That” isn’t prestige TV. It’s more important: it’s addictive entertainment.

22 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • AUGUST 04, 2023
The returning women of ‘And Just Like That.’ (Screen capture via HBO Max)
AUGUST 04, 2023 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • 23

CALENDAR |

Friday, August 04

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Social” at 7 p.m. at The Commentary. This event is ideal for making new friends, professional networking, idea-sharing, and community building. Admission is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Saturday, August 05

LGBTQ People of Color Support Group will be at 1 p.m. on Zoom. This peer support group is an outlet for LGBTQ People of Color to come together and talk about anything affecting them in a space the strives to be safe and judgement free. There are all sorts of activities like watching movies, poetry events, storytelling, and just hanging out with others. For more details, visit thedccenter.org/poc or facebook.com/centerp.

Go Gay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Brunch” at 10 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. Guests are encouraged to come enjoy brunch with other LGBTQ+ folks on the front patio. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Sunday,

August 06

AfroCode DC will be at 4 p.m. at Decades DC. This event will be an experience of non-stop music, dancing, and good vibes and a crossover of genres and a fusion of cultures. Tickets cost $40 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.

GoGay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Coffee & Conversation” at 12 p.m. at As You Are. Guests are encouraged to come make new friends & connections in the DMV’s LGBTQ+ community. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Monday, August 07

Center Aging Monday Coffee and Conversation will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. LGBT Older Adults — and friends — are invited to enjoy friendly conversations and to discuss any issues you might be dealing with. For more information, visit the Center Aging’s Facebook or Twitter.

“Reign: A Drag Variety Show” will be at 8 p.m. at Dupont Italian Kitchen. This event, hosted by Logan Stone, is a high-energy good time show to kick off your week. Visit Eventbrite to reserve a free spot.

Tuesday, August 08

Coming Out Discussion Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This peer facilitated group is a safe space to share experiences about coming out and discuss topics as it relates to doing so. For more details, visit the group’s Facebook.

Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This event is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary, whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit www.genderqueerdc.org or Facebook.

Trans Support Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This group is intended to provide emotionally and physically safe space for trans* people and those who may be questioning their gender identity/expression to join together in community and learn from one another. For more details, email supportdesk@thedccenter.org.

Wednesday, August

09

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email centercareers@thedccenter.org or visit www.thedccenter.org/careers.

Thursday, August 10

Virtual Yoga Class with Charles M. will be at 12 p.m. online. This is a weekly class focusing on yoga, breathwork, and meditation. Guests are encouraged to RSVP on the DC Center’s website, providing your name, email address, and zip code, along with any questions you may have. A link to the event will be sent at 6 p.m. the day before.

OUT & ABOUT

Beyoncé and her impersonators performing in D.C.

Beyoncé plays FedEx Field this weekend on both Saturday and Sunday nights; the 2.5-hour extravaganza starts at 7 p.m. and limited tickets remain for both shows starting at $200. If you don’t have tickets, you can catch the next best thing as the Diva Royal Drag Queen Show will host a performance on Saturday, Aug. 5 at 7 p.m. at Town Tavern DC.

This drag dining experience will feature performances by drag queens impersonating superstars such as Madonna, Celine Dion and Beyoncé, among others. Tickets cost $25 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.

There’s a tea party in town — and it’s for the ladies

Hank’s Oyster Bar will host “Ladies Tea Party” on Sunday, Aug. 6 at 2 p.m. at its location at Dupont Circle. The Ladies Tea Party at Hank’s Dupont Circle was created in 2015 as a safe space for lesbian and queer womxn to gather and meet over drinks on a monthly basis.

This event is free with no tickets or cover charge. More details are available on Hank’s website.

24 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • AUGUST 04, 2023
BEYONCÉ plays FedEx Field on Saturday and Sunday nights.
AUGUST 04, 2023 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • 25 24TH 5 6 4

A legacy bigger than ‘Pee-Wee’ Reubens never came out despite character’s roots in camp

Even though most of us assumed he was gay, Paul Reubens never officially came out.

He scarcely had to, really. His public image – indelibly associated with a character whose name became essentially synonymous with his own – was built on a foundation of camp, and the children’s TV series that brought him into the households of millions of grateful parents was renowned for its ability to offer genuinely innocent entertainment for kids while simultaneously keeping the grown-ups in the room laughing with the kind of winking adult humor that would go right over the little ones’ heads. Much of that humor was laced with obvious queer subtext, and the overall look and tone of the show, from its kitschy design to its to Pee-Wee’s starry-eyed fondness for his friend Cowboy Curtis (as portrayed by a young Laurence Fishburne), made his queerness appear so obvious that coming out would be a mere formality. This was queer underground culture exploding into the mainstream under camouflage of whimsy, all being orchestrated by a master showman who had to know exactly what he was doing.

Yet in the public record, there was never any verification of Reubens’s place on the sexuality spectrum. Indeed, the facts favor a heterosexual orientation – a temporary “marriage” to Doris Duke heiress Chandi Heffner, concocted as an impromptu publicity stunt, and his long-term relationship with actress Debi Mazar, whom he credited with helping him overcome his depression after the notorious 1991 public indecency charge that derailed his career.

As to that incident, Reubens came to be as known for it as much as for being Pee-Wee. Arrested for public masturbation during a surprise police inspection at an adult theater in Sarasota, Fla., he avoided the misdemeanor charge with a plea bargain and 75 hours of community service – but the real punishment, which no court of law could stay, was assured as soon as the news of his salacious “crime” broke to the press the day after his arrest.

A victim of “cancel culture” before the term had ever been coined, he became the butt of 1,000 prurient jokes by late-night TV comedians; worse, he was the target of countless tabloid “exposés” playing to the alarmist fears and prejudices of religious conservatives. Both Reubens and his bow-tied alter-ego quickly became persona non grata in the eyes of pop culture.

A decade later, there was another scandal. In 2002, after Reubens was named by an informant in the child pornography case against fellow actor Jeffrey Jones, Los Angeles

police raided his home and found images they claimed depicted minors engaged in sexual conduct; though the material consisted mostly of old beefcake magazines and other gay-themed vintage erotica, he was charged with misdemeanor possession. There was another plea bargain, this time leading to a three-year registration as a sex offender, but Reubens maintained his innocence, characterizing the images in question as art rather than pornography – an eternal debate that hardly mattered to anyone who had already made up their mind about him.

Incredibly, perhaps, that wasn’t the end of his story. In 2010, he mounted a new version of “The Pee-Wee Herman Show” stage performance that had originally launched the character in the early 1980s, and thanks to a shift in attitudes, coupled with inexorable childhood nostalgia from the now-grown fans of his TV show, the rebooted Pee-Wee was a hit once more. After a sold-out Los Angeles run, the production moved to Broadway for a limited engagement and played to equally packed houses.

Reubens would continue to be active. After several attempts to develop a new film project for the character – the first, “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure” (1985), had been a surprise sensation that established director Tim Burton as a star in his own right – he succeeded with Netflix’s “Pee-Wee’s Big Holiday” (2016), which took him on a cross-country quest fueled by his budding “bromance” with hunky actor Joe Manganiello. More overtly gay in subtext than any of his prior efforts, it still became a hit; in retrospect it felt like the moment when Reubens – and Pee-Wee, of course – finally achieved redemption.

Looking at the legacy he has left behind, however, perhaps he never really needed redemption. In the context of their time, his “crimes” were surely sensationalized by what is now an all-too-familiar pattern of culture warfare, in which the hardcore religious right, emboldened by the Reagan-era political maneuvering that amplified their influence and bent on enforced conformity to social “norms” as they defined them, embarked on a campaign to dismiss, demean, and demonize a beloved public figure they saw as dangerous. That he was never officially “out” was immaterial – what he represented was queer as could be, and that was all that mattered. They took him down with gleeful abandon, either way, because they recognized the subversive message of acceptance embedded in his goofy comedy.

They weren’t wrong. It’s easy to draw a direct line of in-

fluence between the subversive camp of “Pee-Wee’s Playhouse” and the drag queen story hours that have so many conservatives clutching their pearls today. Pee-Wee was paving the way for a future they feared, and they made it their mission to stop him. That might sound like a conspiracy theory, but no conspiracy is necessary when there’s a shared commitment to a common goal; given the well-documented history of police persecution toward openly queer expression, it doesn’t take much imagination to read between the lines to surmise a deeper intent behind his arrests, and all that would then be required from civilian homophobes would be to decry his immorality in the name of “saving the children”— a tactic so familiar as to be banal.

Of course, it’s easy to see patterns and speculate about what’s behind them; but even if Paul Reubens was an unfortunate victim of overzealous law enforcement who literally got caught with his pants down, the result was the same. He was made into a pariah because he carried a vision of a world where queerness could be family-friendly, too.

Seen that way, the eventual comeback of Paul Reubens seems less like a redemption than a triumph against small-minded bigotry. In the end, the good will he temporarily lost came back with a vengeance, because instead of giving up, he kept fighting. He survived the best efforts to erase him from cultural memory and was welcomed back to the spotlight with open arms.

Now, in the wake of his passing at 70 after a six-year bout with cancer that he kept secret, headlines of his obituary are describing him as “beloved.”

Reubens’s real contribution may well be summed up in the example he set for the rest of us. Though he never declared himself to be queer, he became a queer hero, simply by outlasting the hatred until it was forgotten and irrelevant. In a time when such hate has turned itself against so many, and with such terrifying virulence, that accomplishment stands as a much-needed reminder that though it may sometimes overwhelm us, it can never truly defeat us if we stay the course – and if Pee-Wee was able to do it, then maybe the rest of us can, too.

26 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • AUGUST 04, 2023 FILM
PAUL REUBENS died this week at age 70.
AUGUST 04, 2023 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • 27 This program is supported, in part, by a grant from the Delaware Division of the Arts, state agency, in partnership with the National Endowment for the Arts. The Division promotes Delaware arts events on www.DelawareScene.com. Clear Space Theatre Company, Inc. is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization. www.ClearSpaceTheatre.org 302.227.2270 20 Baltimore Ave. (Beach Block), RB, DE 19971 Sponsored by Sponsored by LATE NIGHT SHOW! SATURDAY MORNINGS AT 11 AM! Sponsored by Sponsored by SEP. 21 - OCT. 1 2023 Season Sponsors Jesus Christ Superstar Kiny Boots Spongebob POOH WIZARD OF OZ (Saturdays 11am) JUST THE TIP (10 pm, after the evening show) FINAL BOW 10pm All shows begin at 7:30 pm, unless otherwise listed. SUN MON TUES WED THU FRI SAT JUN 25 26 27 28 29 30 JUL 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 AUG 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 3 28 29 30 31 SEP 1 2 2023 Summer Rep Performance Schedule Please visit the website or call for ticket purchase information and performance updates. Year-Round Live Theatre at the Beach! YOU AINʼT SEEN NOTHINʼ YET!
28 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • AUGUST 04, 2023 LEFT PAGE LeeAnnGroup.com|302.645.6664(Office) 16698KingsHighway,SuiteA,Lewes,DE19958 #1 IN DE HOME SALES IN 2022 #1 TEAM IN COASTAL DELAWARE #2 BHHS NATIONWIDE THE ONLY NAME IN REAL ESTATE AT THE BEACH.
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Gay son resentful after caring for ill parent

Busy straight brother not pitching in to help

Dear Michael,

My dad died a few years back and lately my mom, who lives alone, is in frail shape. She lives about two hours away and I’m doing the bulk of the caretaking. This includes visiting her weekly, grocery shopping, managing her medical appointments, and arranging/monitoring her home health aides. I love my mother but I am getting overloaded with the responsibilities.

I have a brother, Jeff, who actually lives a lot closer to mom than I do. He’s straight, married, and has three young-ish children. And he’s not doing a lot to help.

My mom doesn’t ask Jeff for much because she “doesn’t want to bother” him. He doesn’t volunteer to do almost anything, and I’m reluctant to push him because I know he works insane hours (typical lawyer) and has lots of family responsibilities.

I’m not straight, I’m not partnered, I have no kids, and I didn’t choose a demanding career. But does this mean I have to do the lion’s share?

It seems like my family thinks my life isn’t as important as Jeff’s.

I have great friends whom I love to spend time and travel with. I’ve had a lot less time to do that for the past 18 months. Also, I’ve been single for a long time. I want a relationship, but I don’t have time to be looking when I’m spending most weekends out of town taking care of mom.

I keep putting my needs aside, because if I don’t, my mom’s going to suffer. But I’m getting increasingly resentful. I don’t see a great way out of this situation. Do you have any sugges-

tions?

Michael replies:

Yes, I have some suggestions to help you stop feeling so helpless and resentful.

First: Maybe your family thinks your life isn’t as important as Jeff’s, and maybe they don’t. But you definitely treat your life as less important, by not setting any kind of boundary.

Waiting for your mom and Jeff to honor a boundary that you aren’t setting is not a great idea. You can’t expect other people to do more for you than you are willing to do for yourself.

I get that you don’t want to upset or guilt your mom, or put too much pressure on Jeff when he has lots of family and job responsibilities. But sometimes you’ve got to choose between possibly upsetting others, or feeling resentful and not having time to live your own life. Not an easy choice, and not an avoidable dilemma.

If you do ask your mom and Jeff for what you’d like from them, keep in mind that your power to influence other people is limited. In other words, while you can definitely ask them for what you want, you can’t ensure they will do what you ask.

If your mom and Jeff don’t change their behavior, you’re not out of luck, not a bit. Because there is one person whom you can greatly influence to improve the situation.

Of course, I’m talking about you. This is your life to live, and you get to set a boundary around what you are willing to do for others.

Just for example: Maybe you don’t want to visit mom every weekend, so that you have some time for yourself. Maybe you

want to leave some things undone some of the time, such as a grocery run. Would mom survive if you missed a weekend visit here and there? Would Jeff (or one of your mother’s aides) step up if you weren’t available to buy the groceries occasionally?

If I were working with you in therapy, I have a sense that at this point, you would argue with me that it isn’t possible for you to stop doing any of the things you’re doing.

If I’m right about this, you’ve likely got some things to figure out before you can tolerate making changes. This brings us back to the interesting question of why you might believe that your life isn’t all that important.

A few questions for your consideration:

• What might be difficult or scary about setting a boundary?

• What would you think about yourself if you did put yourself first?

• Do you think that only you can/will make sure everything gets done right?

• Is putting aside your own needs a familiar behavior?

• What might be appealing about doing so?

• Why might you believe you are “less than”?

One more point: Don’t stop doing things for your mother just because you’re angry or resentful. You don’t want to act merely out of strong emotion, because then you’re not really in charge. It’s always a good idea to thoughtfully choose how you want to behave.

So, one more big question to ask yourself, here and always: What are your own standards for yourself, and how do you adhere to them so that you live your life in a way that you respect?

(Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to michael@michaelradkowsky.com.)

30 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • AUGUST 04, 2023 ADVICE Get the best weed in DC delivered right to your door! www.luckychuckie.com
AUGUST 04, 2023 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • 31

Oft banned gay author’s new kids’ book a fun treat

‘Monster Mac and Cheese Party’ brimming with humor, color

It’s the hottest party ever! A green, one-eyed, three-toothed fuzzy monster has invited a sea monster, a bat, a witch, and other guests to bring and eat mac and cheese. The witch favors “glow-in-the-dark mac with snakes and furballs.” The bat enjoys “mac ‘n’ bugs.”

Whether you’re eight or 80, wouldn’t you like to crash this gathering?

Thanks to bestselling, award-winning, gay children’s book author and artist Todd Parr, we can all join in the fun.

“The Monster Mac and Cheese Party” (Little, Brown Books for Young Readers), Todd’s newest book, replete with his signature, eye-catching art, is a celebration of hanging out and scarfing down your fave food with your friends (monsters and human). The picture book written for 4-8 year-olds, is a fun-read for mac-and-cheese-and-monster-aficionados of any age. Except, perhaps, for those who’ve called for Parr’s books to be banned.

Parr, author of “It’s Okay to Be Different,” “The Family Book” and other much-loved as well as often-banned children’s books, is known for fostering values of kindness and inclusivity in his work. Not through preaching or boring messaging. But through bold images — art brimming with humor and bright colors. There are few words. But the words Parr uses are just what kids would say.

Take “The Family Book” which features Parr’s bright-hued illustrations. “Some families are big, some families are small,” Parr, who was born in 1962, writes in “The Family Book,” published in 2003, “… some families have two moms and two dads.”

You might think this message of inclusivity wouldn’t have caused a ruckus. But you’d be wrong. “The Family Book” was one of the most banned picture books of the 20212022 school year, according to Pen America.

“Every time a book is banned, we’re denied our right to learn freely,” the American Civil Liberties Union said in a statement accompanying a video of actor Randall Park reading “The Family Book” on Father’s Day on You Tube.

“My goal in the book was to make every kid feel that no matter what kind of family they have, that their family is special,” Parr, who lives in Southern California with his adopted pit bulls, said in an interview with the Blade.

Parr knew some people might not like “The Family Book” and that it might be banned. “It didn’t matter to me,” he said, “One page [that mentions two moms or two dads being parents] generates a lot of hate.”

“Like drag queens reading stories to kids,” Parr added, “it’s a free-for-all on social media.”

Parr wrote the mac-and-cheese book because after the pandemic, kids “needed a break,” he said.

After COVID, “we didn’t want to think about the feelings we’ve experienced,” Parr said, “we just wanted to feel good again.”

His publisher had asked him to do a Halloween book, and mac and cheese is one of Parr’s favorite things. The book contains kid-friendly recipes for “Todd Mac” and “Vegan Mac”.

“Thick black lines and neon colors make for a zany tale,” “Kirkus” said of “The Monster Mac and Cheese Party, ” “perfect for group read-alouds. Parr keeps the laughs coming fast and furious.”

Parr has written and illustrated more than 60 children’s books. His work has been translated into 20 languages. More than 6.3 million copies of his books have been sold.

Parr is the co-creator with Gerry Renert of SupperTime Entertainment of the Daytime

Emmy-nominated animated TV series “ToddWorld.” Several short films for “Sesame Street” were based on Parr’s work.

Parr gets what it’s like to feel different, hurt or sad, Juanita Giles wrote in “When In Doubt Pretend To Be Todd Parr,” an essay for NPR. “Todd Parr knows my son’s long hair makes him different,” Giles wrote, “Todd Parr knows our best friends moved away and our dog died.”

Growing up gay in a small town in Wyoming, Parr had no inkling that he’d be so successful, acclaimed and loved.

“I never had a moment where I told everybody ‘I’m gay,’” Parr said, “It was a matter of fact and no one really questioned it.” But things weren’t easy. Parr wasn’t sure himself. “I had girlfriends,” he said, “I felt guilty that I had feelings [of liking boys] but I did.”

In school, people called Parr a “faggot” before he knew what it meant. “I felt very different like I was on another planet,” he said.

Growing up, being gay wasn’t Parr’s only challenge. “I had to repeat second grade,” he said, “because I couldn’t read.”

“They thought I was lazy,” Parr added. Years later, Parr learned that he had dyslexia and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). People didn’t know what these disabilities were when he was in school.

“My grandpa on my Dad’s side was talented,” Parr said, “and my grandma on my Mom’s side was talented and creative.”

In the second grade, Parr focused on drawing. He won an art contest but his parents didn’t believe that he’d drawn the picture. “They thought I traced it,” Parr said.

Parr felt that he had to get out of his home town. “There was energy calling me,” he said, “there was a bigger world out there. I knew, one day, I would leave Wyoming.”

Parr became a flight attendant for United for 15 years. “That job – traveling around the world – gave me confidence,” Parr said.

Parr traveled to new cities. He went back to art with a new sense of confidence. With role models like Keith Haring, the renowned American gay artist. “Haring showed you that art can be whimsical,” Parr said, “that you could use bright colors.”

Parr lived in San Francisco. He began to have some success with his art. His work was displayed in one of Wolf Gang Puck’s restaurants.

But Parr was still borrowing money and flying for United. “I was spinning my wheels,” he said.

He decided to perform a magic show (that he did for kids) in Las Vegas. There, he met his agent – a married couple who understood his work. They got him a literary agent. “It freed me up to do creative things,” Parr said.

One day, Parr was showing his work at a show in New York. “I don’t like to read,” Parr said when he was asked if he’d thought about writing children’s books.

Parr signed with Little Brown for Young Readers when he realized he was on to something. He could write books for kids with his arts with messages (but without characters). For a time, Parr felt apologetic about his dyslexia. “I’m not qualified to be up there [because of his struggles in school],” he said when he was asked to give a keynote speech. But after talking with his editor about his fears, Parr wondered: why shouldn’t he own his dyslexia? Why not be honest and talk about it?

“It opened a path for me,” Parr said. Parr’s website is: www.toddparr.com.

32 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • AUGUST 04, 2023 BOOKS

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Alex Irmer

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Office: (703)549-9292 | www.theirmergroup.com

AUGUST 04, 2023 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • 33

SMYAL for Summer

LGBTQ youth organization holds fundraiser at Hook Hall

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

The LGBTQ youth services organization SMYAL held the annual “SMYAL for Summer” fundraising event at Hook Hall on Thursday, July 27. Several LGBTQ students were presented with college scholarships. KC B. Yoncé performed.

34 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • AUGUST 04, 2023

“One of D.C.’s Most Iconic Restaurants” – Southern Living Magazine

Experience what the locals rave about at this quintessential Washington D.C. restaurant -from Maryland crabcakes and steaks to Shepherd’s Pie. And, Brunch is served all day, every day!

Martin’s Tavern is also the ‘go to’ local spot for late-night drinks (until 2 am) and late-night fare (until midnight).

Enjoy half-priced oysters 2-5pm & 10-closing through August 6th!

History Happened Here

Every President since Truman to George W. Bush and President Biden have dined with us. In addition:

• President John F. Kennedy proposed to Jackie in Booth #3

• JFK wrote his inaugural speech here, in the Rumble Seat

• The 1954 Supreme Court met here after the historic Brown vs. Board of Education decision

Reservations Suggested

AUGUST 04, 2023 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • 35

Why owning your castle should be your top priority

A key step toward financial stability, long-term prosperity

In the quest for financial stability and long-term prosperity, one significant milestone stands out above the rest: owning your castle, or, more simply, owning a home. For generations, homeownership has been regarded as a fundamental pillar of the American dream, representing not just a place to live but an investment in a brighter future. Let’s explore the compelling reasons why owning your castle should be a top priority and how it can lead to a secure and fulfilling future.

1. Building Equity: Your Path to Wealth

Owning a home is one of the most accessible and effective ways to build equity, which serves as the cornerstone of personal wealth. As you make mortgage payments, you are gradually paying down the principal, inching closer to owning your home outright. Unlike renting, where monthly payments only benefit landlords, homeownership allows you to accumulate valuable equity over time. This equity can be tapped into through home equity loans or lines of credit, providing financial flexibility for major life events or unexpected expenses.

2. Stable Housing Costs: A Shield Against Inflation

One of the greatest advantages of homeownership is the stability it provides against rising housing costs. With a fixed-rate mortgage, your monthly payments remain constant throughout the loan term, shielding you from the unpredictable rental market and potential inflation. This stability empowers you to plan your budget more effectively, allowing you to allocate resources to other areas of your life, such as education, investments, or saving for retirement.

3. Long-Term Financial Security

Owning your castle can be a stepping stone toward long-term financial security. As you build equity and accumulate wealth through your property, it becomes an asset that can appreciate over time. Real estate historically tends to appreciate in value, which can create opportunities for substantial gains when it comes time to sell. Homeownership can also serve as a source of financial security in retirement, as a paid-off home significantly reduces living expenses during your golden years.

4. A Place to Call Your Own: Stability and Roots

Beyond the financial benefits, owning your castle offers a sense of stability and permanence that is hard to replicate with rental properties. A home is a place to create memories, raise a family, and build a sense of community. Homeownership fosters a stronger connection to the neighborhood and allows you to put down roots, creating a lasting legacy for future generations.

Historically, our LGBTQ+ community has faced higher rates of housing insecurity and discrimination, which can lead to financial instability. By owning a home, LGBTQ+ individuals can gain a sense of security and stability, knowing they have a place of their own where they can live authentically.

5. Protection Against Discrimination

Although significant progress has been made in LGBTQ+ rights, discrimination is still a concern in some rental markets. By owning your home, LGBTQ+ individuals can protect themselves from potential bias and discrimination when seeking housing.

6. Tax Advantages: A Helping Hand

Homeownership comes with certain tax advantages that can further boost your financial well-being. Mortgage interest and property tax payments may be tax-deductible, reducing your overall tax burden. These deductions can free up additional funds that can be reinvested or used to pay down other debts, providing a welcomed financial boost.

Owning your castle is more than just a piece of the American dream; it is a pathway to a secure and prosperous future. By making homeownership a top priority,

you are not only investing in bricks and mortar but also in your financial well-being and a legacy for generations to come. So, take that step towards securing your future and connect with a gay real estate professional today at GayRealEstate.com where there is never a cost or obligation to be represented! Owning your castle may be the most crucial decision you make on your journey to financial success.

JEFF HAMMERBERG

is an entrepreneur and broker, and the founder of GayRealEstate.com. For more than 25 years, he has been a prolific writer, coach, and author who has been instrumental in advancing the cause of fair, honest, and equitable representation for all members of the LGBTQ+ community in real estate matters.

36 • WASHINGTONBLADE.COM • AUGUST 04, 2023 • BUSINESS
Whether you’re looking for a castle or something more modest, homeownership is the key to building wealth.
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