Washington Blade, Volume 55, Issue 03, January 19, 2024

THEY CAN’T ERASE US (Photo by Landon Richie)

States introduce more than 275 bills targeting LGBTQ Americans, PAGE 10

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VOLUME 55 ISSUE 03 ADDRESS PO Box 53352 Washington DC 20009 PHONE 202-747-2077 E-MAIL news@washblade.com INTERNET washingtonblade.com PUBLISHED BY Brown Naff Pitts Omnimedia, Inc. PUBLISHER LYNNE J. BROWN lbrown@washblade.com ext. 8075 EDITORIAL EDITOR KEVIN NAFF knaff@washblade.com ext. 8088 SR. NEWS REPORTER LOU CHIBBARO JR. lchibbaro@washblade.com ext. 8079 WHITE HOUSE CORRESPONDENT CHRIS KANE ckane@washblade.com extg 8083 INTERNATIONAL NEWS EDITOR MICHAEL K. LAVERS mlavers@washblade.com ext. 8093 POP CULTURE REPORTER JOHN PAUL KING PHOTO EDITOR MICHAEL KEY mkey@washblade.com ext 8084 CONTRIBUTING WRITERS DANIEL ITAI, EDICIÓN CIENTONCE, QUORUM, WDG, STEPHANIE MONDRAGÓN, ISAAC AMEND , TINASHE CHINGARANDE, DUNIA ORELLANA, REPORTAR SIN MIEDO, PETER ROSENSTEIN, MARK LEE, LATEEFAH WILLIAMS, KATE CLINTON, KATHI WOLFE, ERNESTO VALLE, YARIEL VALDÉS GONZÁLEZ, PHILIP VAN SLOOTEN, KATLEGO K. KOLANYANEKESUPILE, KAELA ROEDER, TREMENDA NOTA, ALBERTO J. VALENTÍN, MAYKEL GONZÁLEZ VIVERO, ORGULLO LGBT. CO, ESTEBAN GUZMAN, ANDRÉS I. JOVÉ RODRÍGUEZ CREATIVE DESIGN/PRODUCTION AZERCREATIVE.COM SALES & ADMINISTRATION DIRECTOR OF SALES & MARKETING STEPHEN RUTGERS srutgers@washblade.com ext. 8077 SR. ACCT. EXECUTIVE BRIAN PITTS bpitts@washblade.com ext. 8089 CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING/ADMINISTRATION PHILLIP G. ROCKSTROH prockstroh@washblade.com ext. 8092 NATIONAL ADVERTISING RIVENDELL MEDIA 212-242-6863; sales@rivendellmedia.com For distribution, contact Lynne Brown at 202-747-2077, ext. 8075.

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Comings & Goings

Tifphane Riley named deputy director at Wanda Alston Foundation

By PETER ROSENSTEIN

The Comings & Goings column is about sharing the professional successes of our community. We want to recognize those landing new jobs, new clients for their business, joining boards of organizations and other achievements. Please share your successes with us at: DR. TIFPHANE RILEY comingsandgoings@washblade.com.

Congratulations to Dr. Tifphane Riley on being named deputy director of the Wanda Alston Foundation (WAF).

Riley said, “The Wanda Alston Foundation is dear to my heart as it speaks to my life’s work. Empowering the voiceless and disenfranchised: Queer youth. As a Black

Queer Masculine presenting woman, I know the value of a village that sees you, accepts you, and loves on you, when the world wants you discarded. It was important for me to be a part of an organization that genuinely cares for its youth and to have leadership that validates staff and youth in a way that work doesn’t feel so much like work. … The executive director, June Crenshaw, is a strong advocate, just like the late, great Wanda Alston was; unapologetically fighting for the needs of queer youth. It’s what I do as a trained clinical sexologist that has allowed me to help many LGBTQIA+2 spirit people. I am proud to be a social justice warrior.”

Prior to this, Riley was with Sasha Bruce, as Deputy Chief of Programs. She also was with GenPsych as clinical director.

Riley earned her bachelor’s degree in Psychology and African-American Studies, from Temple University; and a

Ph.D. in Human Sexuality from Widener University.

Congratulations also to Larry Cohen, LICSW, who will be completing his 100th social anxiety therapy group at the end of January. Due to current public health concerns the workshop will be on Zoom and you must register in advance; it is free.

Cohen suggests if you are: Shy? Unassertive? Self-conscious? Embarrass easily? Public speaking fear? Performance anxiety? Avoid or don’t enjoy socializing? Avoid interacting with or being around strangers? Difficulty meeting people or forming relationships? Uncomfortable speaking in groups? Shy bladder? Sexual anxiety?

Think of yourself as fundamentally different, not fitting in, not good enough? You should consider registering for the workshop.

Visit the Social Anxiety page on Larry’s website at socialanxietyhelp.com for more information.

Possible guilty plea for D.C. gym owner charged with distributing child porn

A prosecutor with the Office of the U.S. Attorney for D.C. and a defense attorney filed a joint motion in federal court on Jan. 8 asking a judge to postpone a preliminary hearing for gay D.C. gym owner Michael Everts, who was arrested Nov. 29 on a charge of distributing child pornography.

The joint motion, which was approved, discloses that prosecutors plan to issue a plea offer to Everts for which he could plead guilty to a possible lesser charge and the two sides need more time to discuss the plea bargain offer.

“At this time the parties are working diligently to determine whether this case can be resolved short of trial and asks that the court continue the preliminary hearing to allow time for both a fulsome review of discovery, as well as time for the defense to make an informed decision on the anticipated forthcoming plea offer,” the motion states.

The term discovery refers to the requirement that prosecutors provide the defense attorney with evidence obtained by police and prosecutors that would be used against a defendant at a trial. The motion asking for postponement of the hearing says prosecutors have provided the defense with “initial discovery” evidence.

The joint motion asks that the hearing, initially scheduled for Jan. 10, be rescheduled for the possible dates of Feb. 21, 23, or 27. Online court records do not show whether the hearing has been rescheduled.

working with the FBI and posing Everts has been held without as someone interested in unbond since the time of his Nov. derage boys contacted Everts 29 arrest on a single charge of through the Sniffies site and endistribution of child pornogragaged in messaging with Everts phy following a joint D.C. pothat prompted Everts to send lice-FBI investigation that led to the undercover officer video his arrest. Everts has owned and and photo images of child poroperated the FIT Personal Trainnography. ing gym located at 1633 Q St., The memo seeking pretrial N.W. near Dupont Circle since detention, which was approved its opening in 2002. by the judge, says Everts went On Dec. 1, Assistant U.S. Atbeyond just expressing interest torney Jocelyn Bond, the lead MIKE EVERTS, owner of FIT gym, remains in jail in viewing or sending the underprosecutor in the case, filed a after his November arrest on child porn charges. cover officer child porn videos 20-page Memorandum In Sup(Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key) or photos but also described his port of Pretrial Detention that interest in interacting with and describes the government’s possibly having sex with underage boys he knew. It says evidence against Everts and argues that Everts should be Everts “bragged about having previously engaged in sex held in custody at least until the time of his trial. with a minor.”

The memorandum and a separate arrest affidavit say the David Benowitz, Everts’s defense attorney, has not reFBI received a tip that someone who they later identified sponded to a request by the Washington Blade for comas Everts was exchanging messages on the gay hookup ment on the case and whether he or Everts dispute any site Sniffies expressing interest in exchanging images of of the allegations against Everts brought by prosecutors. underage boys for sexual gratification. The memo and afLOU CHIBBARO JR. fidavit point out that an undercover D.C. police detective

Trans woman found in D.C. park died of drug overdose: medical examiner

Tr a n s g e n d e r woman Skylar Harrison Reeves, 30, whose partially naked and uninjured body was found on a park bench in D.C.’s Marvin Gaye Park on Oct. SKYLAR HARRISON REEVES was 2, 2023, died from found dead on Oct. 2. “toxicity” caused by the consumption of “cocaethylene, cocaine, and ethanol,” the D.C. Office of the Chief Medical Examiner said in a Jan. 9 statement to the Washington Blade.

The statement says the manner of Reeves’s death was ruled an “accident.”

Rodney Adams, a spokesperson for the medical examin-

er’s office, said the term ethanol, which is a form of alcohol, when used in a cause of death statement like the one for Reeves, usually refers to an alcoholic beverage such as beer, wine, or liquor.

Online reports from medical experts obtained by the Blade, including a journal article from the National Institutes of Health, identify cocaethylene as a substance formed within the human body when a person consumes cocaine and an alcoholic beverage at the same time. The reports say cocaethylene has similar properties to cocaine but may be longer lasting and more intense.

Shortly after Reeves’s body was found a D.C. police spokesperson said detectives with the department’s natural death squad were investigating the case while awaiting a determination from the medical examiner of the cause and manner of death.

At that time, Reeves’s aunt, Rhonda Hailes, whose Capitol Heights, Md., home was where Reeves was living, told

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the Blade a homicide detective informed her that Reeves’s body was found on a park bench in a secluded part of Marvin Gaye Park with her belongings missing and the dress she was wearing had been pulled over her head, exposing her breasts.

Hailes said the information she received from the detective led her to believe that “foul play” was involved. Hailes said her niece, as far as she knew, never hung out in that park, and was not involved with drugs.

Hailes couldn’t immediately be reached for comment about the medical examiner’s determination that the cause of death was a drug and alcohol overdose.

A D.C. police spokesperson didn’t immediately respond to a request by the Blade for an update on the status of the police investigation into Reeves’s death and how the finding that Reeves died of an overdose would impact the investigation.

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Emmy Awards showcases powerful LGBTQ representation GLAAD receives Governor’s Award

By SIMHA HADDAD

The 75th annual Primetime Emmy Awards, held at the Peacock Theatre in Los Angeles on Monday, saw a triumphant celebration of LGBTQ representation, with notable wins and powerful speeches highlighting the community’s contributions to the entertainment industry.

The night’s standout moment came when RuPaul, host of “RuPaul’s Drag Race,” accepted the Emmy for Outstanding Reality Competition Program. With a record-breaking 14 Emmy wins, RuPaul addressed the audience, emphasizing the importance of knowledge and the resistance against anti-drag laws. RuPaul emphasized that attempts to restrict access to knowledge and power are rooted in fear and encouraged people to listen to drag queens, highlighting their valuable perspectives.

“We have released into the wild hundreds of drag queens, and they’re beautiful. If a drag queen wants to read you a story at a library, listen to her, because knowledge is power. And if someone tries to restrict your access to power, they are trying to scare you. So listen to a drag queen,” RuPaul said.

The win marked the series’ fifth in the Outstanding Competition Program category, solidifying its place in Emmy history. RuPaul also made history with his eighth consecutive Creative Emmy Award for Outstanding Host for a Reality or Competition Program, becoming the most awarded host in Emmy history.

Music legend Elton John also secured his place in history as the newest member of the coveted EGOT club. The accomplished singer-songwriter clinched the prestigious title by winning an Emmy for his extraordinary live concert special, “Elton John Live: Farewell From Dodger Stadium.”

Elton John’s victory in the Outstanding Variety Special

(Live) category marked a remarkable achievement in his illustrious career, spanning over six decades. As an executive producer/performer for the acclaimed concert special, John’s contribution to the world of entertainment has now earned him the esteemed EGOT status.

The Peacock Theater, formerly known as Nokia Theater and Microsoft Theater, is a music and theater venue in downtown Los Angeles. (Photo of main stage courtesy of the Peacock Theater)

“Elton John Live: Farewell From Dodger Stadium” triumphed over formidable contenders, including the Oscars, the Tonys, Rihanna’s Super Bowl Halftime Show and Chris Rock: Selective Outrage. The win, although absent of the legendary artist in person, was accepted by other producers involved in the creation of the special.

The term EGOT, coined by Miami Vice actor Philip Michael Thomas, celebrates individuals who have achieved the rare feat of winning an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony

Award. Elton John’s extensive list of accolades includes five Grammy Awards, including a Grammy Legend Award, two Oscars for iconic songs like “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” from the Lion King and “(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again” from Rocketman, as well as a Tony Award for Best Original Score for “Aida.”

Niecy Nash-Betts secured her first Emmy for Best Actress in a Limited or Anthology Series or Movie for her role in “Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story.” In a powerful speech, Nash-Betts acknowledged her wife and dedicated the award to Black and Brown women who have faced injustice.

Ayo Edebiri, from “The Bear,” won her first Emmy for Supporting Actress, delivering a heartfelt speech that paid tribute to her parents and celebrated her identity as a Black woman.

GLAAD, the LGBTQ media-advocacy organization, received the Television Academy’s 2023 Governors Award for its impactful work in promoting fair, accurate, and diverse representation of the LGBTQ community in the media.

President Sarah Kate Ellis emphasized the personal nature of their work, citing the influence of media on societal perceptions.

“The world urgently needs culture-changing stories about transgender people,” Ellis said. “Visibility creates understanding and opens doors, it’s life-saving. Our community has achieved so much, and yet, we are still being victimized and villainized with cruel and harmful lies. Sharing stories is the antidote.”

As the LGBTQIA+ community continues to make strides in the entertainment industry, these Emmy wins stand as a testament to the power of diverse storytelling and representation.

Md. man sentenced for making threats against HRC

A Maryland man was sentenced on Thursday to two years in prison, along with three years of supervised release, for making death threats and other calls for violence against the ADAM MICHAEL NETTINA Human Rights Cam(Photo courtesy of the Justice Department) paign.

According to the evidence presented by the government at the sentencing hearing, Adam Michael Nettina, 34, of West Friendship, also sent threatening messages to Maryland and Virginia state delegates due to their support of transgender people.

“This defendant targeted and threatened members of the LGBTQI+ community and their allies, instilling fear and promoting violence toward a heavily targeted community,” said Assistant Attorney General Kristen Clarke of the Justice Department’s Civil Rights Division. “This sentence underscores the Justice Department’s commitment to combating threats against public officials and protected communities.

We will work tirelessly to expunge the growing threat posed by bias-motivated acts of violence directed at the LGBTQ+ community and their allies.”

“You have the right to your own opinions, but you don’t have the right to threaten the lives of those who disagree

with you. As this case demonstrates, free speech does not include violent threats against others,” said U.S. Attorney Erek L. Barron for the District of Maryland. “We’ll continue prosecuting these threats to the fullest extent of the law.”

“Threats of violence made against people and organizations to instill fear will not be tolerated,” said Acting Special Agent in Charge R. Joseph Rothrock of the FBI’s Baltimore Field Office. “The FBI will continue to work diligently to ensure the civil rights of all Americans are protected.”

According to court documents, on the evening of March 28, 2023, the victim organization received a threatening voicemail from a phone number, which investigators identified as belonging to Nettina.

The message referenced the March 27, 2023, mass shooting at a school in Nashville, Tenn., involving multiple shooting fatalities, where police identified the perpetrator as a trans woman. During the call, numerous threats were made including, “… we’ll cut your throats. We’ll put a bullet in your head … You’re going to kill us? We’re going to kill you 10 times more in full.”

Nettina admitted that he left this voicemail for the purpose of issuing a threat and with the knowledge that the voicemail would be viewed as a threat. Further, Nettina intentionally selected the advocacy organization as a target of his message because of the actual and perceived gender, gender identity and sexual orientation of the people who work at and are assisted by the organization.

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As detailed in his plea agreement, on March 31, 2022, a Maryland state delegate posted a message of support on social media in honor of Trans Day of Visibility. Nettina responded on social media later that same day, which stated, among other things, that he had “begun the formal process of getting you excommunicated …” from the Catholic Church. On Nov. 8, 2022, the delegate was reelected. Nettina sent the delegate another message on social media, stating: “… Baby killing terrorist. Enjoy hell … You’re going sooner than you think.”

Finally, as outlined in the court documents, on Oct. 13, 2022, an online news story was published about an interview a Virginia state delegate gave in which she advocated for the prevention of abuse towards trans children.

Two days later, on Oct. 15, 2022, Nettina sent an email to the delegate’s press email account, stating: “The delegate is a terrorist. You are a terrorist. You deserve to be shot and hung in the streets. You want to come after people? Let’s go bitch.” Nettina also sent a similar message to another email address of the delegate two minutes later.

Nettina intentionally selected the delegate and her campaign staff as the recipient of his email because of the actual and perceived gender, gender identity and sexual orientation of the people and constituents for whom the delegate had expressed support.

The FBI’s Baltimore Field Office investigated the case.

FROM STAFF REPORTS

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2024 already outpacing 2023 in anti-LGBTQ legislation Number and scope of bills set to break records

By CHRISTOPHER KANE | ckane@washblade.com

On Wednesday, the Missouri General Assembly was slated to discuss eight anti-trans bills, from regulations barring “discrimination” against health providers who refuse to perform gender affirming care to an exclusionary “bathroom bill.”

Legislative researcher Erin Reed told the Washington Blade on Tuesday that she expects these items will leave no room for other business: “This happened last year on a number of occasions” with hearings that began at 9 a.m. and stretched past midnight.

Missouri “had one day last year where they heard several sports bans and several health care bans and then several drag bans in the same day,” she said. “The idea, I think, is to truly wear people down.”

The Show-Me State’s legislative calendar this week is almost rote: 17 days into the new year, lawmakers in Congress and in statehouses across the country are considering more than 275 anti-trans bills according to the Trans Legislative Tracker and ACLU. With 150+ pieces of legislation that were carried over from last year and some 100+ new bills, 2024 could break records that have been set for each of the past three consecutive years. “Our count right now is 230 have been introduced this year,” Reed said, referring to new bills. “The number has been going up really quickly.”

“Across the country, state and local politicians have declared war on freedoms, including the freedom to get necessary medical care, a good education, and to simply exist without fear of violence or state-sanctioned discrimination,” Human Rights Campaign National Press Secretary Brandon Wolf told the Washington Blade.

“The result has been a crisis for millions of LGBTQ+ people, many of whom have been forced to flee their states to access basic civil liberties,” he said, adding, “The 2024 attacks on freedom are already accelerating. MAGA politicians are already doubling down on the agenda to strip transgender people of lifesaving care, ban more books, censor more curriculum, and wield state statutes as a weapon against people’s freedom to exist as their authentic selves.”

Anti-trans legislation can be difficult to categorize. Bills restricting trans young people’s ability to play on sports teams that align with their gender identity, for example, often including sweeping binary and exclusionary definitions of gender and sex.

Bans and restrictions on healthcare remain popular.

Measures targeting access to medically necessary healthcare interventions that are supported by every mainstream scientific and medical organization with relevant clinical expertise have surged, totaling 179 bills in 2023 and 68 so far in 2024, according to the Trans Legislative

Tracker.

Overall, compared to last year, Reed said, “the frequency of the bills is higher right now. And there are still state legislatures that are not fully in session.”

State attacks on trans rights continue.

(Photo by Landon Richie)

And looking ahead, the pace is unlikely to taper off as Republican presidential candidates including the party’s frontrunner, former President Donald Trump, have made anti-trans policy proposals and rhetoric cornerstones of their campaigns, Reed noted.

For instance, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis will participate in a meeting Wednesday in South Carolina focused on “trans people in sports — and so, we’re gonna see more of these bills proposed and the heat and the pressure has ratcheted up this year,” she said.

“There’s already a lot of lack of understanding of transgender people in the United States and Republicans

have taken advantage of that,” Reed said. “That lack of understanding is, I think, magnified whenever it comes to sports and whenever it comes to the expectations people have of trans people and our bodies and what we look like and who we are.”

Not only is anti-trans legislative activity outpacing that which was seen last year, but Reed said the scope of bills targeting the LGBTQ community has broadened relative to 2023.

“Some of the states might have passed a sports ban but didn’t pass a drag ban. Some of the states that passed a drag ban might not have passed a sports ban. And so now we’re seeing all of those states kind of say, ‘OK, let’s do that too.’”

At the same time, Reed said, states have expanded anti-LGBTQ laws that were passed in recent years. For example, Florida was the first to pass “don’t say gay” legislation, which prohibited classroom discussion of sexual orientation and gender identity through the fifth grade.

It took effect in 2022. After other states followed its lead, last year Florida moved to enforce the law in all grade levels.

This year, Reed noted, Florida proposed a measure “that would essentially make all trans people and all people in the state of Florida sign biological sex affidavits whenever they update their driver’s licenses.”

If passed, the law would “basically end all legal recognition for trans people in the state. It takes every single place in the state law where trans people have any sort of legal recognition of their gender identity and erases it,” she said.

Toward the tail end of Missouri’s legislative sessions last year, when the general assembly was debating drag bans, the LGBTQ community and allies continued to show up, Reed said — many dressed in drag, even “at the end of the night, like one in the morning.”

She highlighted the results of the 2022 and 2023 midterm elections, where “These attacks did not work” and “most people that ran on anti-trans campaigns lost their elections — and I can name dozens of examples of this.”

Reed said she could not name a single candidate who, “running specifically on this issue as their main talking point at the end of the election” won their race.

Likewise, Wolf said, attacks against LGBTQ people are accelerating, “But the truth is: LGBTQ+ people have been here before, with fewer allies and fewer resources. We won then and we will win again now.”

He urged folks to “Show up to hearings, call and email lawmakers, organize our communities, and send a clear message: the war on freedom and equality will not win.

Resistance is in our DNA. And the time for it is now.”

Supreme Court declines to hear Indiana bathroom case

The U.S. Supreme Court on Tuesday declined to hear an Indiana case on whether schools can bar transgender students from using a bathroom that reflects their gender identity.

The justices in a brief order denied a request from a central Indiana school district to hear the case, which centers around a now-teenage trans boy, identified in court documents as A.C., who was barred from using the boys restrooms at his former middle school, the Hill

reported.

Represented by the American Civil Liberties Union of Indiana, an adolescent trans boy and his parents filed a lawsuit against the Metropolitan School District of Martinsville in December 2021 for failing to provide him with access to bathrooms consistent with his gender in violation of his rights under Title IX, the law prohibiting sex discrimination in educational programs, as well as the Equal Protection Clause of the 14th Amendment.

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In an August 2023 opinion, the 7th Circuit Court of Appeals found the school district policy did likely violate the student’s rights under Title IX and equal protection.

The Supreme Court has a track record of declining cases involving trans protections. In 2021, the justices declined to review a ruling from the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals involving Gavin Grimm, a trans boy in Virginia.

FROM STAFF REPORTS

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Biden nears Obama’s record of LGBTQ appointments to federal bench

Judge MELISSA R. DUBOSE

(Screen capture: Roger Williams University School of Law/YouTube)

President Joe Biden last week announced his nomination of Judge Melissa DuBose to serve on the U.S. District Court for the District of Rhode Island, where she would be the first person of color and the first LGBTQ judge.

If DuBose is confirmed by the U.S. Senate along with Nicole Berner, who was nominated to serve on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit, the Biden-Harris administration will have appointed 11 openly LGBTQ judges to serve on the federal bench, tying with the number who were appointed over two terms by former President Barack Obama.

U.S. Sens. Jack Reed and Sheldon Whitehouse, Democrats of Rhode Island, recommended the appointment of DuBose, a former teacher who started her legal career

as a special assistant attorney general in the criminal division of the Rhode Island Attorney General’s Office before serving as in-house counsel for Schneider Electric and then on the state District Court, where she was appointed by former Rhode Island Gov. Gina Raimondo.

In a statement, Lena Zwarensteyn, senior director of the fair courts program at The Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, praised the president’s nomination of DuBose, along with the other picks for the federal bench who were announced on Wednesday.

“We’re thrilled that President Biden is beginning the year with a new slate of highly qualified and diverse nominees to serve on our federal bench,” she said.

CHRISTOPHER KANE

Trump wins Iowa caucuses by 30 points

Former President Donald Trump was handed a victory

by Iowa Republicans as he won the Iowa caucuses on Monday and is now poised for a comeback.

Trump’s die-hard supporters turned out Monday, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, on a bitterly cold night that Iowa officials described as some of the worst weather for a caucus in half a century, the AP noted.

The former president who was beaten by President Joe Biden in the 2020 elections that led to him facing four criminal cases involving allegations of multiple felonies, is now on track for another shot at the White House.

Trump entered the Hawkeye State’s caucuses with a double-digit lead in polling averages over his closest challenger, as observers noted the former president appeared to be gaining strength in the state and pulling support from evangelical Iowans.

“We’re going to win the Iowa caucuses and then we’re going to crush crooked Joe Biden next November,” Trump told Iowans at a rally last month, weeks out from the caucuses.

Journalist Julia Mueller noted that the focus of the race will now turn to New Hampshire, which will hold its first-in-the-nation Republican primary on Jan. 23.

There, Haley has been gaining on Trump, and the state could serve as a backstop after her Iowa loss — though the former president still has a substantial edge in the Granite State.

Strategists have suggested that a Trump win in both Iowa and New Hampshire could seal the deal for the rest of the election cycle, making it nearly impossible for another GOP candidate to catch up before the general.

BRODY LEVESQUE

DONALD TRUMP won Iowa in a landslide and now heads to New Hampshire for the first primary contest next week.

(CSPAN screenshot)

Trans issues raised again during Haley v. DeSantis debate

Republican presidential hopefuls Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis and former South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley traded barbs and touted their anti-transgender positions and records over the course of last week’s debate hosted by CNN in Des Moines, Iowa.

The candidates were alone on stage, as the Republican frontrunner, former President Donald Trump, again declined to participate, while former New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie and entrepreneur Vivek Ramaswamy did not qualify and both have now dropped out of the race.

Hours before the debate began, Christie announced his exit from the race — and, in a “hot mic” moment, expressed doubts about the likelihood that either DeSantis or Haley is capable of taking on Trump, who has dominated polls of likely Republican primary voters for over a year.

The candidates’ two-hour debate veered into anti-trans territory quickly, with DeSantis arguing “it is wrong to sexualize the curriculum,” an apparent nod to the idea that LGBTQ inclusive materials in schools are inherently pru-

rient or obscene.

Florida Gov. RON DESANTIS and former South Carolina Gov. NIKKI HALEY (Screen capture: Politico/YouTube)

“It’s wrong to tell a kindergartener, like Disney wanted to do, that you can change your gender, or tell a third grader that you’re born in the wrong body,” he said.

The Florida governor later accused his opponent of

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having an insufficiently anti-trans record, arguing that when Haley “was governor of South Carolina, they had a bill to protect girls from men going into the bathroom,” and “she killed it.”

“I will say, first of all, that was 10 years ago — we had a handful of kids that may have had that issue, and what I made very clear at that time in the state is girls go into girls’ bathrooms, boys go into boys’ bathrooms, and if there are any other exceptions, they use a private bathroom,” Haley responded.

“I have fought for women’s sports and making sure that biological boys are not women’s sports and I’ll continue to do that,” she said.

When responding to DeSantis, Haley also voiced her opposition to “any gender transitions” as well as “gender transformation or puberty blockers” before the age of 18.

That debate appears to be the last as a New Hampshire debate was canceled after Haley announced she would only attend if Trump showed up.

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Trans woman brutally attacked in Namibia

Namibian advocacy groups have condemned the brutal attack of a 30-year-old transgender woman on Jan. 4.

According to Namibia Equal Rights Movement, Shabombee Gift Shiaimenze and Jonathan Kamfwa attacked Stay-C Lapworth at a truck stop near the Narraville area of Walvis Bay, a city on the country’s coast.

The alleged suspects are said to have attacked Lapworth, who remains in intensive care after they left her for dead with a fractured skull, when one of the men realized she is a trans woman after sexually assaulting her.

“The rise in hate crimes and violence towards LGBTQI+ Namibians is a direct result of the passage of the anti-LGBTQI+ bill by the Namibian Parliament and the rise in religious extremism in Namibia, fanning the flames of hate by church leaders,” said Namibia Equal Rights Movement Campaign Manager Omar van Reenen. “By passing that bill, Parliament sent a license to discriminate, to assault, to incite violence and to kill, towards LGBTQI+ persons.”

“Transgender Namibians are one of the most marginalized minority groups and have become increasingly at risk,” added van Reenen. “The heinous crime that took place showed that we have no safety measures or protection for our community. We will follow this case to ensure justice is served for Stay-C and homo-transphobes to be sent a message that hate will be held to account.”

Wendelinus Ndiwakalunga Hamutenya-Jeremiah, a Namibian activist, said it remains a travesty that LGBTQ people in the country continue to face such attacks.

“Trans justice is justice for all. Discrimination against

LGBTI people undermines the human rights principles outlined in the Namibian Constitution, yet discrimination and violence against LGBTI people particularly in the Trans community are all too common,” said Hamutenya-Jeremiah. “We fight for Trans liberation, we fight for a better world for us all. We are tired. We are angry and we are devastated, but we will not stop fighting for justice for Stay-C.” Hamutenya-Jeremiah noted some members of Namibia’s armed forces and police officers have been involved in racketeering, as opposed to protecting LGBTQ people.

This mistreatment includes verbal harassment.

“More often than not, our people, their human rights are abused by the community including the Namibian Police who have a mandate to serve and protect all individuals, some LGBTI persons have been pushed to extremities including considering suicide as an escape to the pressures of their often constricted world,” said Hamutenya-Jeremiah.

The Namibia Equal Rights Movement said authorities have denied bail to the two men who have been charged with attacking Lapworth. They will remain in custody until March 27, when the Walvis Bay Magistrate Court will hear their case.

The Namibia Equal Rights Movement has also cautioned President Hage Geingob from signing the 2023 anti-LGBTQ bill into law, which the group says would subject activists and businesses, organizations and corporations who openly support LGBTQ people or their queer employees to prison time and N$100,000 ($5,000.)

STAY-C LAPWORTH (Photo courtesy of Lapworth’s Facebook page)

Advocacy groups maintain the measure is unconstitutional.

“Mothers, fathers, families and friends of LGBTQI+ persons who openly support them may be imprisoned or fined, LGBTQI+ organizations and non-profits will be prohibited and outlawed from operating or registering,” said the Namibia Equal Rights Movement. “LGBTQI+ children who openly identify as queer may be imprisoned or fined, same-sex marriages recognized abroad will be nullified and prohibited domestically.”

The country’s Supreme Court last year ruled Namibia must recognize same-sex marriages that are legally performed abroad.

DANIEL ITAI

State Dept. urges Burundian gov’t to respect human rights

Activists and French MP Marie A State Department spokesperson Lebec are among those who sharply on Thursday urged Burundian leaders criticized Ndayishimiye’s comments. to respect human rights.

The statement the State Department “We call on all of Burundi’s leaders spokesperson sent to the Blade does to respect the inherent dignity and not specifically reference LGBTQ universal rights, including equal acpeople. (President Joe Biden in 2021 cess to justice, of every member of signed a memo that committed the Burundian society,” the spokesperson U.S. to promoting LGBTQ and intersex told the Washington Blade in a staterights abroad as part of his administrament.

Burundian President tion’s overall foreign policy. The White Burundian President Évariste NdayÉVARISTE NDAYISHIMIYE (Screen capture via Gentil Gedeon Official YouTube) House subsequently appointed Jessiishimiye on Dec. 30 said gay people ca Stern as the special U.S. envoy for should be publicly stoned. He also the promotion of LGBTQ and intersex rights abroad.) said any Burundian who lives outside the country and “Respect for and support for human rights promotes openly identifies as LGBTQ should not return.

peace, security and prosperity,” the State Department spokesperson told the Blade. “That respect is an essential precursor to spur the economic growth necessary to improve conditions for all Burundians.”

The spokesperson added the U.S. “condemns calls for violence or discrimination against any individuals for exercising their human rights.”

“The United States is committed to promoting respect for the human rights of all individuals, at home and abroad,” said the spokesperson. ”Promoting respect for and protection of the human rights of all individuals is a U.S. foreign policy priority, and the Biden-Harris administration is committed to ensuring U.S. diplomacy and development reflects this.”

MICHAEL K. LAVERS

Ugandan activist blames anti-LGBTQ politicians for stabbing

A prominent Ugandan activist who was stabbed two weeks ago said politicians and religious leaders who are stoking anti-LGBTQ sentiments in the country are responsible for the attack.

“The situation in the country where our politicians and religious leaders, people are calling for the death of LGBTQI+ (community) members in Uganda has led to people to think it’s okay to kill someone just because he’s different, just because he was born different,” Steven Kabuye told the Washington Blade on Monday during a telephone interview.

Kabuye is the co-executive director of Coloured Voice Truth to LGBTQ Uganda.

He told the Blade that two men on motorcycles who were wearing helmets attacked him near his home on Jan. 3 while he was going to work. Kabuye said one of the men stabbed him while the other remained on the motorcycle.

“I don’t know who tried to end my life,” he said.

Kabuye posted a video to his X account that showed him on the ground writhing in pain with a deep laceration on his right forearm and a knife embedded in his stomach.

Paramedics brought Kabuye to the hospital after his roommate found him. Kabuye on Saturday left Uganda in order to receive additional treatment outside of the country.

Kabuye did not identify the country from which he spoke to the Blade.

“I left the country because my security couldn’t be guaranteed,” he said, noting the doctors who were treating him in Uganda received threatening phone calls. Kabuye also said Ugandan authorities did not allow journalists to interview him at the hospital. “It put my security at risk, and it was recommended I should move outside of the country to get more treatment … for my own safety.”

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The stabbing took place less than seven months after Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni signed his country’s Anti-Homosexuality Act, which contains a death penalty provision for “aggravated homosexuality.”

Republican Michigan Congressman Tim Walberg last October defended the Anti-Homosexuality Act in a speech he gave at Uganda’s National Prayer Breakfast. The Young Turks reported Museveni is among those who attended the event.

The Blade asked Kabuye about Walberg and his defense of the Anti-Homosexuality Act. “If it wasn’t for these people, the evangelists that have been flocking in Uganda preaching their anti-gay agenda all over the country, funding the Anti-Homosexuality Act 2023, this wouldn’t have happened,” said Kabuye, referring to the stabbing.

MICHAEL K. LAVERS

JA NUA RY 1 9 , 2 0 2 4 • WA S H I N GTO N B L A D E.CO M • 1 5

Keep your promise to protect each other.

ISAAC AMEND (he/him/his)

is a transgender man and young professional in the D.C. area. He was featured on National Geographic’s ‘Gender Revolution’ in 2017 as a student at Yale University. Amend is also on the board of the LGBT Democrats of Virginia. ind him on nsta ram isaacamend

Understanding trans identity from a therapy perspective

Wills & Trusts Powers of Attorney • Living Wills Partnership & Prenuptial Agreements

Navigating friendships, romantic relationships, other facets of daily existence

The trans identity has been written about extensively from a political perspective. Many columns in the Blade, and other outlets, speak of gender ID laws, barriers in trans healthcare, pronouns, trans representation in state legislatures and eventually Congress, and the legality of offering trans children hormone blockers, among other treatments.

While speaking of politics can be good, it’s equally important to understand trans lives from the perspective of someone with a social wor de ree or in other words from an emotional and therapeutic perspective.

Trans people, simply put, face many emotional barriers in life that others usually don’t have to encounter. Let me list several here. I don’t have an MSW, but will try my best to articulate these problems in detail.

First and foremost, trans people face lots of change: change in personality, change in appearance, change in passing versus not passing. Whether we like it or not, change invariably means that we have to act differently in the environments that surround us, and when we change as people, we also have to change our behavior and relationships with others. I like to tell friends this saying: “Change is inherently uncomfortable, and change is painful. Moving from one place in life to another means there is lots of growth, but also room for lots of loneliness when you have reached a new personal destination.” s someone who chan ed from bein a cis female to a man who full passes as one and never gets mistaken as trans — this transformation invariably affected my relationships with others. Suddenly, I was expected to make friends with other cis men, some straight, and forming these new relationships took lots of work and necessitated more personal growth. While chan e can be ood it is also hard and few others now what it feels li e to have to shuf e friendships.

The second emotional barrier trans people face is one that is almost instantly recognizable: our love lives. To be very frank, trans men often go from being an object of sexual desire, as cis females, to being men who repulse many people away. Others view our bodies as disgusting and something to avoid. Many lesbians like to avoid trans men and think that sleeping with us is some form of betrayal to their own community. If trans men are interested in men, we face the problem of wanting to sleep with people who statistically assault us more, and can be vioIn-Network with many PPOs lent and degrading to our bodies. Trans people also sleep with people who want to keep our dalliances secret, which shames us into thinking that our bodies are not something to be proud of, but rather monstrous things that can only exist underneath the sheets, and not outside of bedroom doors.

The third emotional hurdle trans people face is that of passing: some of us pass extremely well but others don t here is con ict within the trans communit between those who pass and those who don’t. Some in the community view passing as another sign of betrayal to those of appointment@citydentaldc.com our own kin: trans men who pass fully as men are often excluded from queer events or groups.

Cis people might think that it’s a choice for us to pass well, when in reality passing is often a result A D V E R T of I Sgenetics, I N G PasRpeople O O F with thicker jaw lines and more muscle can naturally adopt the other genISSUE DATE: 171208 SALES REPRESENTATIVE: der better. Passing is a source of envy and jealousy, and ignites fault lines within our community, when in reality, we need less rupture in our community in order to survive as one whole group.

REVIEW AD FOR COPY AND DESIGN ACCURACY. Revisions must be submitted 1221 within 24 hours of the date of proof.

Massachusetts Ave., NW Proof will be considered final and will be submitted for publication if revision is not submitted within 24 hours of the The fourth emotional obstacle trans people face is job security, and managing emotions in date of proof. Revisions will not be accepted after 12:01 pm wednesday, the week of publication.Brown naff pitts omnimedia llc (dba the washington blade) is not responsible for the content and/or design of your ad. Advertiser is 703 D St., the workplace. As a transman who passes well and is never mistaken for gender nonconformresponsible for any legal liability arising out of or relating to the advertisement, and/or any material to which users NW can link through the advertisement. Advertiser represents that its advertisement will not violate any criminal laws ONS or any rgihts of third parties, including, but not limited to, such violations as infringement or misapporpriation of in can sa firsthand that it is eas to never have to tal about bein trans at a ob n fact it 2075 L St., NW any copyright, patent, trademark, trade secret, music, image, or other proprietary or propety right, false advertising, O REVISIONS unfair competition, defamation, invasion of privacy or rights of celebrity, violation of anti-discrimination law or usually serves us well to not talk about our transness in career settings, as gender variance is ADVERTISER SIGNATURE regulation, or any other right of any person or entity. Advertiser agrees to idemnify brown naff pitts omnimedia S llc (dba the washington blade) and to hold brown naff pitts omnimedia llc (dba the washington blade) Plz., harmlessSW PR By signing this proof you are agreeing to your contract obligations with the 955 L’Enfant #325 from any and all liability, loss, damages, claims, or causes of action, including reasonable legal fees and expenses thatto placement, cruelly detracts from our career prospects, and rarely adds to career growth. washington blade newspaper. Thissomething includes but is not limited that may be incurred by brown naff pitts omnimedia llc, arising out of or related to advertiser’s breach of any of the payment and insertion schedule. foregoing representations and warranties. nfortunatel most wor places are laden with collea ues usuall male and usuall older who are transphobic to some e tent avi atin these difficult relationships re uires a lot of emotional labor that can otherwise be put into finishin memos leadin meetin s and scalin the corporate ladder ut instead we re left to fi ht old crust men in cubicles There are many more emotional hurdles we face, which can be described in other columns.

As stated, it is critical to understand trans lives through an emotional lens, comprehending the difficult feelin s we face with friendships romantic relationships and other facets of dail e is tence.

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PETER ROSENSTEIN

is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist. He writes regularly for the Blade.

A national IQ test will be administered to voters on Nov. 5 Americans don’t need to be geniuses, just smart enough to vote Democratic

Some are calling Nov. 5, 2024 a national IQ test; others are calling it an election.

Some in Congress are actually trying to do something prior to that time, but it is fairly obvious Republicans won’t let anything be done. It has taken some scared Republicans from swing districts to give Speaker Johnson the guts to come to an agreement on a $1.59 trillion budget. Beyond that, Republicans will go to the voters in November with what Chip Roy (R-Texas) said “is not one accomplishment.”

Instead of actually trying to do something for the people, Republicans are holding hearings that they think will bring down President Biden. As they have for the past year, they are coming up with zilch, because there is nothing there. To bring that home to the public, Abbe Lowell, Hunter Biden’s attorney, had him show up a second time in Congress offering to testify. He was in the hearing room when the committee was deciding whether to challenge him for not responding to a subpoena. What a joke.

Republicans are still trying to connect anything Hunter Biden did, to his father, the president. Did any of the money Hunter made go to the president? That’s what they are trying to prove. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) may show more nude pics of Hunter Biden; she actually did that, or try some other stunt and Nancy Mace (R-S.C.) may insult him saying he has no balls. But in reality, it is the Republicans who have no balls. Recently Rep. Bob Good (R-Va.) called Taylor Greene “a useful idiot, and a fraud.”

It is Republicans who are afraid to have him testify in a public hearing, which would show the nation what we know about them anyway, as the story says, “The Emperor has no clothes.”

All of this isn’t about showing whether Hunter Biden used his dad’s name to make money. Sure, he did. Just like Donald Trump’s kids used his name when he was president. Clearly, even his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, did. Ivanka and Jared were worse than most president’s kids as they did it while ‘officially’ working for the White House. Remember Trump pushed through a security clearance for them when they were turned down through regular channels. They flew around the world on Air Force One and met with foreign leaders. Ivanka got trademarks for her products in China, worth millions.

Jared got a cool $2 billion when he left the White House from the Saudis. Any money Hunter Biden, or Biden’s brother made, was chump change compared to that.

So, Republicans keep harping on this as they have nothing they can go to the public with when it comes to asking people to elect them. Now Senate Majority Leader Schumer, and House Speaker Johnson, agreed to a deal on the budget for the rest of the year.

It is the same amount McUseless and Biden agreed to, and it is what got McUseless voted out as Speaker. Now far-right Freedom Caucus Republicans are threatening to do the same to Johnson if he doesn’t go along with them. The wheel goes round-andround and where it stops nobody knows. However, it appears their threats were not enough to get Johnson to go back on the deal, and there are more Republicans in swing Districts who are petrified of Republicans getting tagged with shutting down the government.

There are two deadlines that have to be met to keep the federal government open.

The first is Jan. 19 and the second is Feb. 2. Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky) has given Johnson a lesson on how the Senate works telling him to get anything through the Senate takes at least a week. So, McConnell told him since they agreed on the total budget amount, they need to do a continuing resolution until they can work out the final budget details. Seems there is now agreement on a CR to move the dates to March 1 and 8. Johnson will probably need Democrats to pass it in the House, when the Freedom Caucus balks.

So onward and forward to nothing, as long as Republicans are in control of the House.

I hope people understand the reality when they compare what was accomplished in the first two years of Biden’s term, when Democrats had the majority, and what is not happening now that Republicans are in the majority. If they do understand that, the IQ test scores on Nov. 5 will make the nation proud. People don’t need to be geniuses, just smart enough to vote Democratic across the board.

1 8 • WA SHIN GTO N BLADE.COM • JANUARY 19, 2 0 2 4 • V I E WP O I NT

Apply for 2024

JOURNALISM FELLOWSHIP Are you interested in LGBTQ+ Journalism?

The Blade Foundation is excited to open the application process for a spring reporting fellowship. We are looking for an aspiring D.C. based college-age journalist interested in covering D.C.-area LGBTQ+ students. The fellowship runs for 12 weeks starting March 2024 with a $2,500 stipend.

FELLOWS WILL BE PAIRED WITH A BLADE EDITOR FOR MENTORING AND REPORTING ASSIGNMENTS. This reporting fellowship is focused on D.C.-area LGBTQ+ students in the District and what programs and opportunities are available to help them succeed.

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TO APPLY, send a letter of interest, resume, and links to three writing samples (preferably published clips) to Kevin Naff, knaff@washblade.com. No phone calls.

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LEE STORROW

is senior director of external affairs at Community Education Group and an American Heart Association volunteer.

Standing up to Big Tobacco’s scum tactics Biden admin should bar sale of menthol ci arettes avored ci ars

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Stigma, long-term health effects, a global public health response and a disproportionate impact on LGBTQ+ communities. This list rings true to two seemingly unrelated, but actually quite paralleled issues that have long and complex histories within the queer community: HIV/AIDS and tobacco use.

The epidemics of both HIV/AIDS and tobacco use share a lot of similarities. And Big Tobacco’s decades of deception and sinister strategies have intentionally blurred the lines between these two pressing public health issues. This must stop and unfortunatel the hite ouse continues to dela its plan to finali e a proposal that would end the sale of menthol ci arettes and all avored ci ars. his proposal needs to become final as soon as possible.

Our community has been a target of Big Tobacco for decades. In the ‘90s when the industry became aware of high smoking rates within the queer community, it used this intel to market its products to gay people and under-resourced populations. These strategies, such as Project SCUM (Subculture Urban Marketing), targeted people in our community through event sponsorships, advertising and promotions.

Today, adolescents who identify as queer are more likely to heavily use tobacco products than their straight peers. The adolescent queer community experiences incredibly high rates of anxiety and depression, and many teens and young adults start to use tobacco products to combat these feelings. But tobacco use only exacerbates them.

Menthol cigarettes are of particular concern in our community because people who smo e and identif as are si nificantl more li el to reach for menthols. he cooling effect of menthol makes cigarettes easier and more pleasant to smoke, and an ideal “starter product” for young people experimenting with smoking.

These high rates of tobacco use can be attributed to targeted marketing efforts and the industry’s years of work trying to portray itself as an ally of the LGBTQ+ community. obacco companies have historicall been a ma or financial contributor to or ani a tions in the fi ht a ainst . or e ample in 2 2 a tobacco compan touted its 4 million donation to the fi ht a ainst in a a ine. fundin lobal AIDS charities, Big Tobacco aimed to create an impression of support for the queer communit all while drawin financial resources and attention toward the crisis and away from its malicious endeavors. hese companies were also some of the first corporate sponsors of ride usin their financial clout to shamelessl plu deadl products at these communit events. n 2 one tobacco ad encoura ed people to ta e pride in our avors and another grouped choosing to smoke with other rights of a “free society” such as voting. It was right around this time when I got to college and started to see these tactics in plain sight. My friends and I would go out to the one or two “gay nights” at the bar in town, which featured promotions from Big Tobacco. At Pride festivals, we saw companies passin out samples and as in to scan our to prove ou were 2 . nce the had your information in their systems, they had their hooks in and could push their products on you in a multitude of ways. These attempts to illustrate allyship continue to this day, with a major tobacco company lighting up its headquarters in support of Pride month this past June. or far too lon tobacco companies have been infiltratin ueer spaces puttin their profits ahead of our lives. finali in stron rules to prevent the sale of men thol ci arettes and avored ci ars the administration would revolutioni e our countr s ability to combat tobacco use and improve the health and well-being of so many people in our community and beyond.

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Composer debuts original queer opera at the Kennedy Center

‘Hairpiece,’ exploring power of authentic gender expression, premieres Jan. 19

By KAELA ROEDER “I want to continue that legacy,” she added.

Music has always been a part of Joy Redmond’s life. She began playing piano at 7 In addition to beginning her musical journey at 7, her family has deep connections to years old, and it took off from there. Now, Redmond, a composer and pianist, is making music. Her mom is trained in opera, and her uncle is a professional musician. Music was her Kennedy Center debut this month. always in the house growing up.

Redmond is part of the American Opera Initiative at the Kennedy Center, a program “I had a lot of people to look up to,” she said. that commissions original one-act opera works. Her piece, which she co-created with When Redmond was a teenager, she decided to go to college to study music. Redlibrettist Sam Norman, will premiere on Jan. 19. mond went to The Julliard School for her bachelor’s and master’s degrees, completing “Hairpiece” follows the story of a wigmaker, Esther. Redmond and Norman brainthe master’s in the spring of 2023. stormed the storyline together, and Norman wrote the story while Redmond composed.

Her musical interests are not limited to opera and classical repertoire. She’s also inThe other main characters, a man and a non-binary person, all come together, and clash, terested in rock, jazz, electronic, and other but also find common ground and get to genres. know themselves on a deeper level. The In her free time, she continues to play opera explores what it means to feel commusic. Redmond, who is based in Manfortable in authentically expressing gender, hattan, just started a band with her friends and how that need to feel seen connects a few months ago, where she plays keys. people.

They are in the early stages and don’t have Redmond, who is trans, said her identia name yet, but the group is leaning toty intersects with her work in many ways. ward a post-rock, punk sound.

She described music and creativity as both “It’s something I’ve wanted to do my self-expression and a way to connect with whole life, playing in a band,” she said. others. She hopes the audience will see Outside of music, she loves to cook, she themselves in the work she creates – in said — especially soups and stews. Her fam“Hairpiece” or otherwise. ily is Italian-American, and food has always “I want people to relate it to themselves been a point of connection, she said. She’s in some way and their own story, and mayalways on the prowl for new recipes to try be release some emotion or find some caout. tharsis,” Redmond said in an interview with Redmond is a lover of collaboration, and the Blade. working with a librettist for the American For Redmond, music is a less explicit way Opera Initiative is a prime example of the to express oneself, and with that, a deeper benefits of working alongside other artists. way to convey and communicate feelings.

“When there’s a collaborative focus, She enjoys pushing boundaries in her there’s just more people to learn from work and enmeshing seemingly opposite JOY REDMOND (Photo courtesy Redmond) more perspectives and things that are a litgenres and mediums, and this passion tle different than what I’m used to,” Redmond said. “That’s intriguing to me. And I think comes from her experience being trans, she said. Part of why she’s drawn to opera is more stimulating even than if I were to just be creating on my own.” because it’s stylistically diverse.

The American Opera Initiative is entering its 11th season this year. Operas commis“As a trans person, I’m very obsessed with liminality, and transitions, and doing things sioned are performed by the Washington National Opera Cafritz Young Artists, who are across boundaries,” she said. part of a resident-training program at the Kennedy Center for singers and pianists.

Opera has a complicated past and present, but many works address queer issues, Throughout the program, which began in March, Redmond has learned so much Redmond said. And, while many stories told through opera are not explicitly queer, it’s through mentors. There’s also been a great amount of confidence in her. important that people can explore an identity that’s new and comfortable to them.

“It’s just been a great experience because of the trust that they have in our creativity “There are so many examples of people finding themselves in opera, and then that and ability,” she said. not being what they thought they were,” she said.

“Hairpiece,” along with two other one-act operas, premieres on Jan. 19 at the Terrace There are also generations before her who have paved the way in composing and Theater. For more information, visit kennedy-center.org/wno. creating queer works. Redmond wants to fuel that herself, she said.

2 2 • WA SHIN GTO N BLADE.COM • JANUARY 19, 2 0 2 4

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JA NUA RY 1 9 , 2 0 2 4 • WA S H I N GTO N B L A D E.CO M • 2 3

CALENDAR |

By TINASHE CHINGARANDE

Friday, January 19

Tuesday, January 23

Center Aging Friday Tea Time will be at 2 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults.

For more details, email adam@thedccenter.org.

GoGay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Bottomless Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at Puro Gusto. This event is ideal for meeting new people and making new friends in a casual, facilitated environment. Admission is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Genderqueer DC will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a support group for people who identify outside of the gender binary. Whether you’re bigender, agender, genderfluid, or just know that you’re not 100% cis. For more details, visit www.genderqueerdc.org or Facebook.

Saturday, January 20 LGBTQ People of Color Support Group will be at 1 p.m. on Zoom. This peer support group is an outlet for LGBTQ People of Color to come together and talk about anything affecting them in a space the strives to be safe and judgement free. For more details, visit thedccenter.org/poc or facebook.com/centerpoc.

South Asian Support Group will be at 1:30 p.m. on Zoom. This is a confidential space for South Asian LGBTQ community members to come together and share experiences. For more details, email supportdesk@thedccenter.org.

Sunday, January 21 AfroCode DC will be at 4 p.m. at Decades DC. This event will be an experience of non-stop music, dancing, and good vibes and a crossover of genres and a fusion of cultures. Tickets cost $40 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.

GoGay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Coffee” at 12 p.m. at As You Are. Guests are encouraged to come enjoy an evening of Italian-style dining and conversation with other LGBTQ+ folk on the enclosed front patio.

Admission is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

OUT & ABOUT Janet Jackson returning to D.C, Baltimore

Wednesday, January 24 Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email centercareers@thedccenter.org or visit www.thedccenter.org/careers.

Asexual and Aromantic Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is a space where people who are questioning this aspect of their identity or those who identify as asexual and/or aromantic can come together, share stories and experiences, and discuss various topics.

For more details, email supportdesk@thedccenter. org.

Thursday, January 25 Virtual Yoga Class with Charles M. will be at 12 p.m. online. This is a weekly class focusing on yoga, breathwork, and meditation. Guests are encouraged to RSVP on the DC Center’s website, providing your name, email address, and zip code, along with any questions you may have. A link to the event will be sent at 6 p.m. the day before.

Monday, January 22 Center Aging Monday Coffee and Conversation will be at 10 a.m. on Zoom. LGBT Older Adults — and friends — are invited to enjoy friendly conversations and to discuss any issues you might be dealing with.

For more information, visit the Center Aging’s Facebook or Twitter.

Queer Book Club will be at 6:30 p.m. on Zoom.

This month’s reading is “Gideon the Ninth” by Tamsyn Muir. For more details, email supportdesk@thedccenter.org.

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JANET JACKSON is coming back to D.C. this summer.

Pop icon Janet Jackson announced this week an extension of her 2023 “Together Again Tour.” A new leg of the tour will bring Jackson back to the area for two shows, one at D.C.’s Capital One Arena on Friday, July 12 and another at Baltimore’s CFG Bank Arena on Saturday, July 13.

Tickets are on sale now via TicketMaster. LiveNation announced the 2023 leg of the tour consisted of 36 shows, each of which was sold out. The 2024 leg has 35 stops planned so far; R&B star Nelly will open for Jackson on the new leg.

Jackson made the tour announcement Tuesday on social media: “Hey u guys! By popular demand, we’re bringing the Together Again Tour back to North America this summer with special guest Nelly! It’ll be so much fun!”

Rain or snow, drag brunch is on SADBrunch will host “The Ultimate 90’s Drag Brunch with Cake Pop” on Sunday, Jan. 21 at 12 p.m. at THRōW Social.

This fabulous holiday drag brunch show will feature performances from Jasmen Clitopatra, Venetian and Dreux Sidora. Tickets start at $20 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.

Gay girls, gather here!

DC Gay GirlsPLus will host its one-year anniversary party on Saturday, Jan. 20 at 3 p.m. at Number Nine.

Guests are encouraged to come attend for birthday cake, DCGG+ swag, community and more. Tickets are $20 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.

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THEATER

Newly renovated Folger Theatre presents Reading Room Festival And at Ford’s Theatre, a free, two-day festival

By PATRICK FOLLIARD The newly renovated Folger Theatre on Capitol Hill is presenting its second annual Reading Room Festival (January 25-28) featuring new Bard-inspired plays by a diverse group of playwrights including Austin Dean Ashford, Jacob Ming-Trent, Carmen Pelaez, and Sarah B. Mantell. The three-day festival is made up of staged readings and conversations about new works.

During the pandemic, playwright Mantell left Brooklyn for the Vermont woods, and it’s there that they fully came out as nonbinary. Aspects of their play “Everything That Never Happened,” a reworking of Shakespeare’s “The Merchant of Venice,” changed during this time too.

“Shylock’s servant Gobbo was a cis-male role in my earlier iterations. But it’s become a nonbinary transmasculine role. I had only to write one line in my play to change that,” they explain.

For Mantell, writing plays is about metabolizing rage and shame: “The thing comes out as mostly comedy and then fucks you up at the end,” they say. “As I was writing this play, my sense of passing in terms of sexuality as a queer person and gender were soon related to the ways some of the characters were passing as non-Jewish.

They explore the play lying beneath the surface of the original work. What lies behind the stereotype of a Jewish man, and Jessica who is mostly silent? Mantell asks: “The author’s not around, so why not fix it?”

In 2023, Mantell was the first out nonbinary recipient of the 2023 Susan Smith Blackburn Prize for “In the Amazon Warehouse Parking Lot,” a play written for trans, nonbinary, and female actors over the age of 50. Mantell describes the work as a response to actors who’ve been pushed out of the industry.

“It’s not fair. I don’t get to see them as models of how to move forward in my life, and I want to change that.

There’s also a lot of rage about capitalism embedded in the piece. And it’s funny,” they add.

“Out nonbinary” is particularly important for me, they say. “After I learned that I’d won, it took me five hours to realize I was a groundbreaking winner. I’d just come out as nonbinary and suddenly, I’m holding down the fort for nonbinary playwrights on an international stage.

Somehow I feel like a baby nonbinary even though it’s been true for me my entire life.”

Across town at historic Ford’s Theatre, new plays are also being introduced. The Ford’s Theatre Legacy Commissions: A First Look is a free, two-day festival, provid-

Nonbinary playwright Sarah B.Mantrell (Photo by Walls Trimble)

ing a preview of new plays in development, with opportunities for expanded conversations around the work of BIPOC artists.

With this first peek Ford’s gives audiences an unparalleled inside look at the process and voices that shaped these works, explains José Carrasquillo, Ford’s out director of artistic programming.

Now in its second year, A First Look is the result of shuttered theaters and racial reckoning. After examining the data, Ford’s concluded most produced plays were written by white males.

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“We started talking about what stories are out there that we want to excavate. Ford’s does historical drams for the most part. Put stories through the lens of playwrights of color. Hear stories that we have never heard.”

Carrasquillo continues, “I’m open about who I am, my roots, cultural background, and identity as a queer man.

I have always walked into a room making sure people understood that. I’m not here to educate anyone but they have to deal with me. And it’s exciting to be a part of this.”

It’s been a group effort jointly steered by Carrasquillo, Ford’s Theatre’s out director Paul R. Tetreault, senior artistic adviser Sheldon Epps, and The Ford’s Theatre Legacy Commissions Advisor Sydné Mahone.

Readings will include “A Designer of Note, A Woman of Style” by Charlayne Woodard, about the life of renowned Black fashion designer Ann Lowe who holds a place in the civil rights movement for a lot of people.

She made gowns for high society – including Jackie Kennedy’s first wedding dress – and refused to ever use the servants’ entrance. Lowe was famous for saying, “If they want the dresses, I come through the front door.”

The other works are “SISTER X” by Nambi E. Kelley, about a young mother’s quest to share her life’s challenges with Malcolm X; and “The American Five” by Chess Jakobs, which explores present-day biases and racial discord inside a graduate classroom. Folded into the play is the story of Bayard Rustin, the gay Black activist who – along with others – helped craft Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech.

Graduating a production from development to a final draft to a world premiere is never guaranteed, says Carrasquillo. “But you never know for sure. And a play having its first audience is a step in making that happen.”

‘The Reading Room Festival’ at Folger Theatre Jan. 25-28 201 East Capitol St., S.E. | Folger.edu

‘A First Look’ at Ford’s Theatre Jan. 26-27 511 10th St., N.W. | Fords.org

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FILM

Sicilian boys in love spark ‘Fireworks’ Inspired by true story of two gay youths murdered in Italy

By JOHN PAUL KING In October of 1980, the village of Giarre - a small municipality in Catalania, Sicily was rocked by the murder of two young men, 25-year-old Giorgio Agatino Giamonna and 15-year-old Antonio “Toni” Galatola. Found hand in hand, two weeks after disappearing together from their homes, they had each been shot in the head, allegedly executed for the “crime” of homosexuality by members of their own families and other factions within the town whose disapproval of their relationship had already made them the target of bullying and violent abuse. The 13-year-old nephew of one of the victims admitted to carrying out the killings at the behest of the two families, even claiming that the two young men forced him to shoot them to prevent shame to their families, but later recanted his confession, leaving the double homicide officially unsolved.

It was an incident that sparked widespread outrage in Italy, though much of the rest of the world had little awareness of it, and ultimately led to the formation of “Arcigay” the country’s first and largest LGBTQ activist organization. Now seen as one of the most important catalysts in jump-starting the modern queer rights movement in Italy, the killings of Giorgio and Toni – who came to be known by protesters in the wake of their murders as “The Boyfriends” – were commemorated with a memorial plaque at the entrance to Giarre’s town library in 2022.

SAMUELE SEGRETO and GABRIELE PIZZURRO star in ‘Fireworks.’

That’s the real life story behind the Italian import “Fireworks,” which made its U.S. debut on digital and VOD platforms Jan. 18, although it serves as inspiration for a fictional retelling rather than as the basis for a docudrama. Known in its nation of origin as “Stranizza d’amuri” [“Strangeness of Love”], it tells the story of Gianni (Samuele Segreto) and Nino (Gabriele Pizzurro), two youths from a small Sicilian village in the early 1980s — though life there has remained largely unchanged for a thousand years — who meet in a moped accident and become friends. At first, their relationship meets with approval from relatives on both sides, with Gianni stepping in to help when Nino’s father is forced to step away from the family firework business due to health problems.

But as their deeper feelings for each other become more obvious to those around them, their families - and the rest of the town - grow more hostile; unable to resist the attraction they feel toward each other yet facing disapproval, disparagement, and worse from the small-minded morality that surrounds them, the two boys are forced

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to choose between turning away from their blossoming love or defying the deeply traditional strictures of their community by living it in the open.

Directed by Giusseppe Fiorello, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Andrea Cedrola and Carlo Salsa in collaboration with Josella Porto, “Fireworks” might, based on its storyline, be easily classed by American audiences as one of those “doomed romance” movies that equate queer love with tragic victimhood. Indeed, knowing the real-world origins of the plot going in, it might well feel like one is being set up from the start for tragedy, and the pervasiveness of the homophobic bigotry we see enacted on the screen can’t help but remind us we’re in for a depressing ride toward a heartbreaking conclusion.

The movie, however, doesn’t quite go that way.

While it certainly establishes the repressive environment of the boys’ community, complete with the kind of ugly bullying that is all too familiar to anyone growing up queer in a similar setting, it is more interested in exploring the experience of falling into first love, and establishing the connection between its two protagonists that ultimately makes them willing to choose each other over the safety of conforming to social taboos. Thanks to the easy chemistry of Segreto and Pizzurro, who capture the tenderness between these two sweet-but-not-quite-innocent souls in a way that blends the wholesome tenderness of youthful love with the irresistible pull of budding sensuality, the harshness and abuse they must endure - as well as the bleakness of their presumed eventual fate - seems less important than the palpable joy they find in each other. Their romance becomes a haven, and their story becomes about the triumph of love instead of the power of hate.

That’s an important distinction that keeps the tone of “Fireworks” from drifting too far into the doom-and-gloom that often dominates such stories — and it’s a good thing, too. While the central romance may provide plenty of uplift, there is a cold reality encroaching upon it that cannot be ignored; and though the inevitable depictions of torment from village homophobes are brutal enough on their own, it’s the attention paid to those closer to the young lovers - the families and friends who, instead of offering support or protection, become allies to these hostile outsiders for fear of social repercussion to themselves — that will likely hit closest to home for most queer audiences.

It’s this aspect of the story that is arguably more “triggering” than any of the physical violence we are shown. It hones in on the social mechanisms through which cultural conditioning is passed down from one generation to the next — a theme that manifests itself in a narrative thread that weaves its way through the film from the first moment to the final frames and leaves us devastated.

Still, what we walk away with from Fiorello’s evocative movie is a sense of beauty, of triumph claimed rather than thwarted. The filmmaker honors the memories of his characters’ real-world inspirations — who became heroes of their country’s Equality Movement not because they were killed for their sexuality but because they dared to embrace it — by celebrating the love they found instead of lamenting the fate that befell them. Indeed, the movie’s artfully ambiguous ending gives the real-life murders only a nod of acknowledgment, choosing instead to leave its fictionalized lovers in a happy moment that might almost allow us the illusion they will live on.

This choice to emphasize love over hate, of course, does not sugarcoat the fact that “Fireworks” shows us some pretty ugly things, and, for some viewers, no amount of positive focus will be enough to prevent it from being a difficult watch. Understandably, many queer film fans, weary of having our love stories turn to heartbreak and horror on the screen, are tired of such grim representation and would prefer movies to give us the same chance at a happy ending as everybody else. Those movies do exist, of course; but as long as there are still places in the world — such as Italy, still considered one of the least LGBTQ-friendly nations in Western Europe, despite the advances made since the murders that inspired this film, and other countries that are far worse, there will always still be a need for movies that expose that reality — especially when they’re as well-made, and authentic, and tender as this one.

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JA NUA RY 1 9 , 2 0 2 4 • WA S H I N GTO N B L A D E.CO M • 2 9

BOOKS

‘Gender Pioneers’ reminds readers that trans people are not new ‘A Celebration of Transgender, Non-Binary and Intersex Icons’

By TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER Take a left at the first road, then right and right again.

It’s always a good idea to know where you’re going – but then again, getting lost can have its benefits, too. Veering off an easy path gives you a chance to see things, maybe even something better. You can get all kinds of directions for life but sometimes, as in “Gender Pioneers” by Philippa Punchard, you just gotta step off the road.

In 1912, French audiences were thrilled by the talent of a trapeze artist known as Barbette. The lovely Barbette flew over the heads of Parisians solo, gracefully, and the best citizens followed those performances avidly. By 1919, Babette added to the end of the performance the revelation that “she” was really Vander Clyde Broadway, a male performer.

We might think that being transgender is “new” and just “a Western thing,” but Punchard has reason to disagree: history is dotted with men passing as women, and women living as men. As Christine Burns says in the foreword, “Trans people are not a new thing.”

Some seemed to do it as a means to an end: Ellen and William Craft wore clothing of the opposite sex in order to escape slavery in 1848. Betty Cooper may have worn men’s clothing for the same reason in 1771. Neither case, says Punchard, indicates “classical” trans behavior, but we’ll never know for sure.

Biawacheeitchish, who grew up to be powerful, wealthy, with four wives, was kidnapped as a young girl and was encouraged by their Native American adoptive father to engage in male activities, perhaps because he’d lost two sons; in another time and place, Biawacheeitchish would’ve been called a “female husband.” Dora Richter, the first woman to receive vaginoplasty, was killed by “a Nazi mob.” Dr. James Barry, a highly renowned surgeon, used “built-up shoes and... padding to appear more masculine...” James Allen and Billy Tipton were both married to women before death revealed that they were female.

And Mary Read was a girl, until their mother lost her only son.

In her foreword, Burns says that there are “two awkward challenges” when we talk about trans people in history: were they intersex, rather than trans; and were they people – mostly women – who presented as the opposite gender to gain the benefits of the opposite gender? The questions demand more study and “Gender Pioneers” offers a launching

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point.

Open this book anywhere and you’ll see that the theme here is serious, but author Philippa Punchard also lends a bit of breeze. There’s no certain order to what you’ll read, and while the entries reach back to ancient times, they focus more on the past 300 years or so; each of the articles is short and to-the-point, and the soft illustrations invite browsing.

For readers who want a quick read, this works.

Be sure to keep going through both appendices of this book, where you’ll find a wealth of further information and dates to remember.

Historians and readers of trans history will find “Gender Pioneers” just right.

‘Gender Pioneers: A Celebration of Transgender, Non-Binary and Intersex Icons”

By Philippa Punchard

c.2022, Jessica Kingsley Publishers $22.95 | 118 pages

AUTOS

Retro rides: Dodge Hornet PHEV, VW ID.Buzz Microbus Everything old is new again

By JOE PHILLIPS ing wheel and scooped-out center console. Even the door handles and infotainment A new year means new vehicles sashaying into dealer showrooms. But for 2024, system look the same in both vehicles. retro is in, with nostalgic nameplates like the Dodge Hornet and VW Bus proving As with all hornets, beware the sting. In this case, it’s pricing: A fully loaded Hornet everything old is new again. Between you and me, though, let’s leave the Cadillac CiR/T Plus can easily approach $55,000. marron, Ford Edsel and anything remotely resembling a Yugo as footnotes to history.

DODGE HORNET PHEV $41,000 Electric-only range: 33 miles MPG: 74 MPGe (electric/gas), 29 MPG (gas only) 0 to 60 mph: 5.6 seconds Cargo room: 54.7 cu. ft. with rear seats down

VOLKSWAGEN ID.BUZZ MICROBUS $55,000 (est.)

Range: 260 miles Fast-charge time: Up to 80% in 30 minutes 0 to 60 mph: 7.5 seconds Cargo room: 138 cu. ft.

PROS: Stylish, comfy, peppy CONS: Snug, bit bouncy, pricey IN A NUTSHELL: According to automotive lore, the first Hornet (1905-1906) was a shortlived, two-seat runabout from Horner & Sons. Then came the British-built Wolseley Hornet (1930-1936, and again 1960-1961).

Next up, the Hudson Hornet (1951-1957), available DODGE HORNET PHEV as family sedan, coupe or convertible. The performance-oriented coupe— nicknamed “Fabulous Hudson Hornet”—would rule the world of stockcar racing and establish the Hornet’s daredevil image. AMC created its own Hornet (1970-1977), but this time for a blah compact car—a sibling to the butt-ugly Gremlin. To be fair, one of the best movie stunts ever is James Bond performing a corkscrew car jump over a Bangkok river while driving an AMC Hornet.

Now, after a decades-long hiatus, Dodge has resurrected the Hornet name for its all-new subcompact SUV. While this latest Hornet debuted as a 2023 model with a gas engine, the buzz this year is the addition of a plug-in hybrid electric vehicle (PHEV)—the first ever from Dodge.

The Hornet PHEV comes in two versions: R/T and R/T Plus. Both pack plenty of punch, with twice the horsepower of many competitors. Use the paddle shifters to activate the PowerShot system, which adds an extra 30 horses for even more oomph.

Alas, this feature—which allows the Hornet to boast muscle-car acceleration—lasts only about 15 seconds before the system needs to cool down for another 15 seconds.

But no matter the speed, the standard all-wheel drive and premium Brembo brakes keep everything under control. One handling complaint: Because of the short wheelbase, there is some annoying bobbing up and down over large potholes.

Built on the same platform as a tony Alfa Romeo Tonale, the Hornet shares similar design cues, including chiseled side panels, narrow LED headlights and high roofline. But only the Hornet has two sleek, functional hood scoops.

Inside, the Alfa ambience continues with a nicely sculpted dash, flat-bottom steer-

PROS: Fun colors, fun styling, fun ride CONS: Limited appeal, limited production, limited trim level IN A NUTSHELL: Legend has it that a Dutch businessman sketched the VW van after visiting a Volkswagen plant in 1947.

Two years later a prototype was built, and the first Microbus rolled off the production line in 1950.

Production ceased in VW ID.BUZZ MICROBUS 2014, but only after countless variations were built— many with beds, sinks, tents, picnic furniture, surfboard racks and the like. This proud symbol of the counterculture hippie movement of the 1960s likely has been in more movies, TV shows, and magazine ads than there have been Grateful Dead concerts (2,300-plus so far, for all you Jerry Garcia fans).

While technically a 2025 model, the all-electric VW ID.Buzz arrives later this year. The chassis is from the ID.4 electric crossover, but everything else is new. Groovy colors include Cabana Blue, Mahi Green, Pomelo Yellow, Energetic Orange and more.

The space-age cabin has an “Orville” vibe, with a large 12.9-inch touchscreen hovering over the dash, 30-color ambient lighting and an expansive windshield. The accelerator even has an audio/video “Play” symbol engraved on the pedal, while the brake pedal is engraved with the “Pause” symbol. Too cute? Well, maybe...

Two trim levels, but only the long-wheelbase model will be sold in the U.S. That means three rows of seats, with optional captain’s chairs in the second row. The front seats even come with a massage function. Oh, and the optional panoramic sunroof with electrochromic tint can change from opaque to clear with the swipe of your finger. Shagadelic, baby!

While the Dodge Hornet R/T can trace its lineage to at least one fast and fabulous forebear, fans of this new VW can thank generations of Deadheads for spreading the love about the original bus. But crank up the sublime 14-speaker Harman Kardon stereo, and this new VW suddenly channels another far-out ride: “Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.”

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ADVICE

When one half of a couple wants kids and the other doesn’t

How to navigate the biggest decision spouses will make

By MICHAEL RADKOWSKY Dear Michael, I’m wrestling with my fiancé about becoming parents and it’s delaying our getting married.

We’ve been dating for three years and would like to spend our lives together. But the issue of becoming parents has always been a source of disagreement for us.

Will says he has never been that interested, while I’ve always wanted to be a dad.

Will says he is willing to do it if it’s important to me but he’s really concerned he will be resentful. He doesn’t want to give up having an active social life that includes going out a fair amount, drinks, dinners, and vacations with our friends, lots of time at the gym, etc.

I like doing those things too but I’m feeling that I’m at a stage of my life (I’m 31) where I can put a fair amount of that behind me in order to focus on creating and raising a family. I wish he would also be willing to do so, but I know I can’t change his priorities.

I am hopeful we can work this out. For starters, I think that since he wants to go out more than I do, I could stay home a fair amount of the time and take care of the kids when he’s doing what he wants to do.

Also, we are both pretty successful and could afford a fair amount of child care (especially as we advance in our careers—and we’re not going to be having children right away) so I’m thinking we could have a nanny who could take care of the kids when we want to stay out late or go away for a weekend, or even come with us sometimes when we travel so that we’re able to also do what’s important to Will and not just be with the kids at every moment.

I’m thinking we can have the best of both worlds.

Will’s not as optimistic as I am and this worries me. I think I’ve come up with some good solutions and would like him to be supportive and on board. He says he doesn’t think it’s that simple but when I press him for what that means, he won’t say.

I don’t feel like we can get married until we’ve figured this out. What are your thoughts for how we can get to a place of agreement on this?

Michael replies: If you and Will are going to build a successful long-term marriage, you both will need to develop your ability to discuss hard topics, including your differences of opinion on important matters. Otherwise, you will have a lot of resentment, anger, and misunderstandings over the years.

Your current gridlock is an opportunity for both of you to work on tolerating hard conversations and the possibility of tremendous letdowns. This isn’t fun, but it’s an essential part of being in an intimate relationship.

My hunch is that Will won’t give you a straight answer because he doesn’t want to let you down. You can’t force him to tell you what he’s thinking, but perhaps you can get his answer by letting him know that you want to know what he’s thinking, even if what he’s thinking may gravely disappoint you.

For you to have this conversation with Will, you will have to mean what you say: You must be prepared for him to tell you that he doesn’t want to be a father.

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Unless Will is willing to parent with an open heart and without resentment, going forward with parenthood would be a mistake. The resentment would be corrosive to your relationship and would damage any children you might have. Children should never be made to feel that they are a burden or annoyance to a parent.

Let’s look at your thoughts on making parenting more palatable for Will.

With regard to your idea that the two of you could frequently go out and travel, while leaving the kids with a nanny: Good parenting is time-intensive. Especially in the early years, it’s vital that you consistently convey to children through your presence and actions that you are there for them, that you love them, and that they are your top priority.

This is how children develop a “secure attachment” — the bedrock of strong self-esteem, a sense of security that comes from inside, and the ability to form healthy relationships.

I certainly don’t mean being present every minute — obviously, most parents have jobs, rely to some degree on childcare and babysitters, and need some time to occasionally have at least a bit of a life apart from being a parent. And I can’t tell you exactly what “enough” is, other than to say that parents should generally be the ones to wake their children up, feed them at least some of their meals, take them on adventures, bake cookies together, just hang out, read books to them, do the bedtime routine, and be there in those middle-of-the-nights when a child needs comforting.

Your idea of staying home while Will does his thing seems like a quick road to resentment. Do you think you’d be happy wishing him a fun night on the town while you’re staying home for the umpteenth time with a sick or wound-up toddler who refuses to go to sleep, or simply stuck doing the bedtime routine solo, yet again? Moreover, it would be awful for your child to have a sense that one of his or her parents is somehow distant or unreliable. You want to aim for your kids to feel like they are the apple of your eye.

Here’s an idea: You are apparently doing all the work to figure out how to make parenting easy on Will. How about asking Will for his ideas on what it would take to make parenting something he’d be willing to do? Perhaps if the two of you collaborate, you could find a way forward that works for you both.

On a related note, talking with parents (gay and straight) of young children about their experiences would be helpful and eye-opening to you both in all sorts of ways.

(Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to michael@michaelradkowsky.com.)

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Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather Fire Daddy Ken wins annual competition

(Washington Blade photos by Michael Key)

The 39th annual Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather competition was held on Sunday, January 15 at the Hyatt Regency on Capitol Hill. Nine contestants vied for the title. Fire Daddy Ken of Norfolk, Va. was declared the winner.

3 4 • WA SHIN GTO N BLADE.COM • JANUARY 19, 2 0 2 4

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REAL ESTATE

Buying in a sellers’ market: Strategies for success 10 tips for navigating today’s competitive marketplace

By JEFF HAMMERBERG

In today’s real estate landscape, buyers often find themselves navigating a sellers’ market, where demand for homes outpaces the supply available for sale. While this can be a challenging environment, it’s not impossible to secure your dream home with the right strategies in place.

Whether you identify as LGBTQ or are an ally, GayRealEstate.com is here to offer you guidance and support on your journey to homeownership. Let’s explore key strategies to help you succeed in a seller’s market.

navigating seller’s markets and can provide valuable insights and negotiation skills.

5. Write a Personalized Offer:

Make your offer stand out by including a personal letter to the seller. Explain why you love their home and how it fits into your future plans. Sometimes, a heartfelt connection can make a difference in a competitive bidding situation.

Your agent might recommend employing this strategy, though its effectiveness varies by market. While it’s still utilized in some regions, in many, it’s regarded as a somewhat outdated or gimmicky approach.

6. Be Flexible and Open to Negotiation:

While it’s essential to make a strong initial offer, be prepared for counteroffers.

Be open to negotiation and work with your Realtor to find common ground with the seller. Additionally, consider including an escalation clause in your offer, which can automatically increase your bid if competing offers are presented.

7. Avoid Lowballing:

In a sellers’ market, lowball offers are unlikely to be successful. Trust your Realtor’s guidance on pricing and offer terms to increase your chances of acceptance. Furthermore, you might want to consider making your offer more appealing by offering a larger earnest money deposit, demonstrating your commitment to the transaction.

8. Stay Informed About Market Trends:

Continuously monitor the local real estate market to stay informed about trends and changes in supply and demand. This knowledge will help you make more informed decisions. Additionally, demand your Realtor keep you updated daily on new listings, as staying ahead of the competition in a highly competitive marketplace requires swift action and access to the latest opportunities.

The market is competitive so it’s important to be prepared when buying a home.

1. Be Prepared with Financing:

In a sellers’ market, having your financing in order is paramount. Before you start house hunting, get pre-approved for a mortgage. This not only shows sellers that you’re a serious buyer but also allows you to move quickly when you find the right property.

To discover a LGBTQ-supportive lender, consider seeking a referral from your LGBTQ real estate agent.

2. Define Your Priorities:

Know what you’re looking for in a home, and be prepared to act decisively when you find it. Consider factors such as location, size, amenities, and your budget. Identifying your non-negotiables and preferences will help streamline your search.

Create a list of “Essential Criteria” to share with your agent, enabling them to screen out properties that do not align with your requirements.

3. Act Swiftly but Wisely:

In a competitive market, desirable properties can go under contract within days or even hours. Keep a close eye on new listings and be ready to schedule showings promptly.

4. Lean on a Realtor’s Expertise:

Partnering with a professional LGBTQ Realtor from GayRealEstate.com can be a game-changer. Our pre-screened, full-time agents have extensive experience in

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9. Don’t Get Discouraged:

It’s not uncommon to face rejection in a competitive market. Stay persistent and remember that the right home is out there for you. Sometimes, a rejected offer can lead you to discover an even better fit for your needs and preferences. Trust in the process and your Realtor’s guidance as you pursue your dream home in a seller’s market.

10. Plan for Appraisal Gaps:

In a sellers’ market, it’s possible for the appraised value to come in lower than the agreed-upon purchase price. Be prepared to cover the difference in cash or negotiate with the seller.

Buying a home in a sellers’ market can be a rewarding experience with the right strategies in place. Remember that you don’t have to navigate this challenging terrain alone. At GayRealEstate.com, we’re here to support you every step of the way. Our platform allows you to connect with pre-screened, full-time LGBTQ real estate agents who understand your unique needs and are committed to helping you achieve homeownership success.

To get started, visit GayRealEstate.com, enter your city, and choose an agent who will guide you through the process with expertise and care. Your dream home is within reach!

JEFF HAMMERBERG

is founding CEO of Hammerberg & Associates, Inc. Reach him at 303-378-5526, jeffhammerberg@gmail.com or via GayRealEstate.com.

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Visit TheRemyApts.com or call 301.637.8065 to schedule your tour!

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