Washington Blade, Volume 56, Issue 07, February 14, 2025

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Bill to repeal D.C. home rule would jeopardize LGBTQ rights: activists

Measure introduced by homophobic lawmakers

By LOU CHIBBARO JR. | lchibbaro@washblade.com

U.S. Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah) and U.S. Rep. Andy Ogles (R-Tenn) on Feb. 6 introduced legislation in the Senate and House calling for repealing the D.C. Home Rule Act, which would eliminate the city’s limited home rule government with a mayor and city council.

The two lawmakers named the bill the “Bringing Oversight to Washington and Safety to Every Resident Act” or the “BOWSER Act,” saying in a statement that D.C. Mayor Muriel Bowser was responsible, in part, for leaving “our nation’s Capital in crime-ridden shambles.”

Lee and Robles each received a “0” rating, the lowest possible rating, on the Human Rights Campaign’s Congressional Scorecard, which assesses the record of members of Congress on LGBTQ related issues.

Most political observers point out that far-right Republican lawmakers have introduced similar bills in the past, including one in 2024, which have died in committee with little support.

Both Democratic and some Republican lawmakers expressing opposition to the previous bills noted that under the existing D.C. Home Rule Act, Congress retains full authority to reject any legislation passed by the D.C. Council and signed by the mayor. They note that Congress also retains authority to impose any law it wishes on D.C.

But some observers, including LGBTQ rights advocates, say the prospects of the current bill could go further with the current GOP-controlled Congress and at a time when President Donald Trump raised the issue of alleged “out of control” crime in D.C. during his presidential campaign. Trump has said he plans to issue one or more executive orders targeting D.C. home rule.

The bill introduced by Lee and Ogles does not address

or propose who or what federal entity would operate D.C.’s local government after the Home Rule Act of 1973 is repealed. The two-page-long bill states, “Effective on the date that is 1 year after the date of enactment of this Act, the District of Columbia Home Rule Act (Public Law 93-198) is repealed.”

Prior to the passage of the Home Rule Act of 1973, which Congress approved under the administration of then-President Richard Nixon, the city was governed by a commission whose members were appointed by the U.S. president and approved by Congress. A “commissioner-mayor” appointed by the president served as the head

Virginia High School League reverses policy on trans athletes

The Virginia High School League on Monday announced it will no longer allow transgender athletes to compete on teams that correspond with their gender identity following another executive order signed by President Donald Trump targeting trans people.

The VHSL announced their policy change on their X account. It undoes a 2023 announcement that said it would not change their policy that allowed trans athletes to compete on teams that affirmed their identities.

Following a Jan. 28 executive order signed that stopped hospitals and other medical institutions from providing gender-affirming care to minors under that age of 19, Trump on Feb. 5 signed another executive order, “Keeping Men Out of Women’s Sports.”

The ban seeks “to rescind all funds from educational programs that deprive women and girls of fair athletic opportunities, which results in the endangerment, humiliation, and silencing of women and girls.” The NCAA and many other educational institutions agreed to implement

the ban in fear of losing federal funding.

“The VHSL is an association comprising 318 member schools with more than 177,000 students participating yearly in sports and academic activities. The VHSL is the governing body, and our member schools look to and rely on the VHSL for policy and guidance. To that end, the VHSL will comply with the executive order,” said VHSL Executive Director John W. “Billy” Haun. “The compliance will provide membership clear and consistent direction.”

The VHSL also said staff will be making changes to their handbook and policy manual in the coming days, reminiscent of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention scrubbing all of the papers in its database of any nowbanned language regarding LGBTQ people and attacks on diversity, equity, and inclusion.

The VHSL’s own data indicates only 29 of the student athletes it oversees have been reported as trans since 2022.

JAYLON CURRY-HAGLER

of the commission.

LGBTQ rights activists believe a similar type of governing body under the current Republican Congress and the Trump administration could pose a threat to the LGBTQ rights laws currently on the books in D.C., including the city’s Human Rights Act, which bans discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

“Repeal of Home Rule at this time can only be a negative for the LGBTQ community, especially the transgender community, because of the virulent antagonism toward that community of the MAGA Republicans in control of Congress,” according to D.C. gay Democratic activist Peter Rosenstein.

Howard Garrett, president of the Capital Stonewall Democrats, D.C.’s largest local LGBTQ political organization, also expressed concern that repeal of D.C. home rule would pose a threat to the local LGBTQ community.

“Repealing D.C. home rule would be a direct attack on our city’s ability to govern itself and protect the rights of all residents, especially the LGBTQ+ community,” Garrett told the Washington Blade. “Washington, D.C. has been a leader in advancing LGBTQ+ rights, from nondiscrimination protections to access to affirming healthcare,” he said. “If Congress were to strip away our autonomy, it would leave us vulnerable to reactionary policies that do not reflect the values of our residents.”

Garrett added, “This latest attempt to revoke home rule is nothing more than political interference that undermines democracy.”

In a joint statement released on the day they introduced their D.C. home rule repeal bills, Lee and Ogles denounced what they called a “radically progressive regime” of Bowser and the City Council.

“Washington is now known for its homicides, rapes, drug overdoses, violence, theft, and homelessness,” Ogles said n the statement. “Bowser and her corrupt Washington City Council are incapable of managing the city,” he said.

Lee stated, “The corruption, crime, and incompetence of the D.C. government has been an embarrassment to our nation’s capital for decades. It is long past time that Congress restored the honor of George Washington to the beautiful city which bears his name.”

Daniel Solomon, co-founder of D.C. Vote, a local nonpartisan group that advocates for D.C. statehood, said in a statement that supporters of the home rule repeal bill were putting out misleading information about crime in D.C.

“Make no mistake: This bill is a thinly veiled attempt to punish D.C. for political differences under the guise of public safety,” he said. “We all agree that public safety is paramount, but dismantling home rule will do nothing to make our communities safer,” his statement continues.

“Instead, it will silence the voices of D.C. residents and threaten the progress we’ve made on criminal justice reform, economic growth, and local accountability,” he said. Bowser, who has declined to comment specifically on the current bill to repeal D.C. home rule, has pointed out that violent crime in D.C. dropped by 35 percent from 2023 to 2024 and property related crime declined by 11 percent during that same period.

‘BOWSER and her corrupt Washington City Council are incapable of managing the city,’ said U.S. Rep. Andy Ogles (R-Tenn). (Washington Blade file photo by Giuseppe LoPiccolo)

Booz Allen withdraws as WorldPride corporate sponsor

By LOU CHIBBARO JR.

The U.S. technology company Booz Allen Hamilton has confirmed it has withdrawn as a corporate sponsor for the international LGBTQ WorldPride events scheduled to take place in D.C. from May 17-June 8, according to a report by the Washington Business Journal.

In a story published Feb.10, the business publication reports that Booz Allen Hamilton disclosed in a statement that its decision to withdraw as a WorldPride sponsor was based on its need to comply with “recently issued presidential executive orders.”

Although the statement did not say so directly, it is referring to executive orders issued since Jan. 20 by President Donald Trump that, among other things, ban government agencies and companies doing business with the government through contracts from promoting or carrying out diversity, equity, and inclusion or “DEI” programs.

On its website, Booz Allen Hamilton describes itself as an

“advanced technology company delivering outcomes with speed for America’s most critical defense, civil, and national securities priorities.” Among the government agencies it does business with, the website statement says, are the U.S. Air Force, U.S. Army, U.S. Marine Corps, U.S. Navy, and the Office of the Secretary of Defense.

“We take this responsibility to our nation seriously,” Washington Business Journal quoted the Booz Allen Hamilton statement regarding WorldPride as saying. “It demands from us commitment to their best principle to flawless execution and to full compliance with all laws and regulations, including executive orders,” Washington Business Journal quotes the statement as saying.

The Washington Business Journal article includes a photo of more than a dozen of Booz Allen Hamilton employees marching in D.C.’s Capital Pride parade in 2017.

The company did not immediately respond to a request from the Washington Blade seeking comment on its WorldPride decision.

Capital Pride Alliance, the group that organizes most D.C. LGBTQ Pride events and is the lead organizer of WorldPride 2025, in response to a request by the Blade released a statement responding to Booz Allen Hamilton’s sponsorship withdrawal.

“Booz Allen Hamilton is the only organization that has with-

Trump order prompts hospitals to stop gender-affirming care for youth

By JAYLON CURRY-HAGLER

Hospitals in the D.C. area are putting a prompt stop to aiding transgender youth and their families continue their transition after President Donald Trump signed an executive order that bans all gender-affirming care nationwide for minors under 19.

On Jan. 28, days after Trump took office, signed the executive order, “Protecting Children from Chemical and Surgical Mutilation,” which immediately halted the prescription and medical treatment of gender-affirming care for all minors under the age of 19 across the country. The order use of “chemical and surgical mutilation” is in reference to the various kinds of gender-affirming care that youth may receive when in the care of a medical practice.

“Today, medical professionals are maiming and sterilizing a growing number of impressionable children under the radical and false claim that adults can change a child’s sex through a series of irreversible medical interventions.” says the executive order. “This dangerous trend will be a stain on our nation’s history, and it must end.”

The executive order laid out various guidelines for medical practices to follow that must be implemented within the coming months. These include “ending reliance on junk science,” in referring to following the World Professional Association for Transgender Health’s guidelines for youth, and “defunding chemical and surgical mutilation,” which seeks to ban hospitals and medical schools to use federal funding for gender-affirming care.

Hospitals, medical schools, and clinics across the country have begun to abide by the executive order and drop trans and gender diverse youth as they dismantled programs that provided care of any kind that treated a child’s gender dysphoria. Children’s National Hospital in Northwest Washington

is one of those institutions.

“Children’s National is committed to providing compassionate and comprehensive care in accordance with the law,” said Children’s National in a Jan. 30 press release. “As a result, we are currently pausing all puberty blockers and hormone therapy prescriptions for transgender youth patients, per the guidelines in the executive order issued by the White House this week. Children’s National already does not perform gender affirming surgery for minors.”

“We recognize the impact this change will have, and our commitment to creating a better future for children and families remains at the forefront of our mission,” it added. “We will do everything we can to ensure the same uninterrupted access to mental health counseling, social support, and holistic and respectful care for every patient at Children’s National. We are working directly with patients and providers to ensure every patient has access to the information and support services they need, and we appreciate their continued trust and understanding as we work through these changes.”

The hospital did not provide the Washington Blade with additional comment.

Activists in response to the decision organized a march that took place outside Children’s Hospital on Feb. 2. D.C. Safe Haven, a group founded to “provide LGBTQ people in the DMV area with opportunities to transform their lives,” helped organize the march.

Similar protests have taken place across the country.

The Gender Liberation Movement organized the “Rise Up for Trans Youth” march in New York’s Union Square on Saturday. The group was one of the organizers of a march that took place in front of the U.S. Supreme Court on Dec. 4 when the

drawn its committed financial support for WorldPride,” the statement says. “CPA is proud of its many longstanding legacy sponsors, many of whom have already reaffirmed their commitments to participate in WorldPride this summer,” the statement continues.

“Just like many American companies and LGBTQ+ organizations, we are navigating current challenges and many unknowns,” the statement says. “We are confident, however, that we will have the support necessary to have a successful and safe WorldPride that meets this moment,” it says.

“That support includes families, organizations, and businesses from across our community and corporations that truly celebrate diversity and value equity and inclusion for all,” the statement concludes.

The Capital Pride Alliance website last year listed Booz Allen Hamilton as a corporate sponsor for the 2024 Capital Pride events in the category of a “True Colors” sponsor, which it said represented a donation of $75,000. But the Capital Pride Alliance statement to the Blade this week says, “We are not going to share their previously planned commitment for 2025.”

The statement adds, “Many in our community are extremely vulnerable right now, and standing up for them, standing with them, standing with us, in this movement is what we all need.”

justices heard oral arguments in the U.S. v. Skrmetti case, which challenges a Tennessee law that bans gender-affirming care for minors under 18.

“VCU Health and Children’s Hospital of Richmond at VCU have suspended gender-affirming medications and gender-affirming surgical procedures for patients under 19-yearsold in response to an executive order issued by the White House on Jan. 28, 2025, and related state guidance received by VCU on Jan. 30, 2025,” the hospital said in a statement. “Our doors remain open to all patients and their families for screening, counseling, mental health care, and all other health care needs.”

Equality Virginia, a queer advocacy group that works across the state, in a statement to the Blade criticized the executive order and response to it.

“Executive orders are not legislation, they are not law, and they do not supersede state laws,” said Narissa Rahaman, the group’s executive director. “The General Assembly has taken up bills on both transgender athletes and gender-affirming care, and in both cases, the general assembly has declined to pursue bans on either. State law is clear; what is unclear is why the Youngkin administration is spending its final year cozying up to the Trump administration and repeatedly singling out transgender Virginians for discrimination.”

A protester stands outside Children’s National Hospital in Northwest D.C. on Feb. 2. (Blade photo by Linus Berggren)

(Screenshot courtesy of WorldPride’s website)

Is Karla Sofía Gascón’s apology too little, too late?

Netflix

removes trans actress from Oscars campaign

By GISSELLE PALOMERA

The latest in the scandal involving “Emilia Peréz”’s trans star and Best Actress nominee Karla Sofía Gascón is Netflix deciding to part ways with her even after her public apology and statement regarding not withdrawing from the nomination.

“I have been labeled a racist and I need to be clear that I am not. I feel like I’ve been judged, sentenced, crucified, and stoned without a fair trial and without an option to defend myself,” said Gascón in an interview with CNN en Español.

According to Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, Netflix has cut Gascón out of the campaign for the Oscars. This move comes even after Gascón issued an apology through a statement on her social media and in an interview with CNN en Español. On Thursday she was set to be seated with co-star Selena Gomez, Zoe Saldaña and the film’s writer-director, Jacques Audiard for the AFI Awards luncheon — a gathering at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills. On Friday, she was set to attend the Critics Choice Awards. On Saturday, she was set to serve as presenter at the Producers Guild Awards, which happen to be going on at the same time as the Directors Guild Awards. Accord-

Education Dept. moves to end support for trans students

An email sent to employees at the U.S. Department of Education on Friday explains that “programs, contracts, policies, outward-facing media, regulations, and internal practices” will be reviewed and cut in cases where they “fail to affirm the reality of biological sex.”

The move, which is of a piece with President Donald Trump’s executive orders restricting transgender rights, jeopardizes the future of initiatives at the agency like mental health services and support for students experiencing homelessness.

Along with external-facing work at the agency, the directive targets employee programs such as those administered by LGBTQ resource groups, in keeping with the Trump-Vance administration’s rollback of diversity, equity, and inclusion within the federal government.

In recent weeks, federal agencies had begun changing their documents, policies, and websites for purposes of compliance with the new administration’s first executive action targeting the trans community, “Defending Women From Gender Ideology Extremism and Restoring Biological Truth to the Federal Government.”

For instance, the Education Department had removed a webpage offering tips for schools to better support homeless LGBTQ youth, noted ProPublica, which broke the news of the “sweeping” changes announced in the email to DOE staff.

According to the news service, the directive further explains the administration’s position that “The deliberate subjugation of women and girls by means of gender ideology

ing to THR, she will not be attending the events.

The Spaniard actress found herself at the center of controversy surrounding the Netflix original being nominated for 13 Oscars after freelance culture writer Sarah Hagi uncovered the actress’s stream of consciousness on display on X, formerly Twitter. Hagi found tweets from as far back as 2020, revealing Gascón’s views on Muslims, George Floyd, China, and vaccines.

In her hour-long interview with CNN en Español, she defended her position on the issue stating that she feels that she was unfairly targeted, while not being given the opportunity to defend the position she stood behind while writing those tweets.

She goes on to say that she “supports the Black Lives Matter movement obviously” and that the tweets about George Floyd “were taken out of context.” In the interview, she goes on to say she was highlighting the hypocrisy of humanity in that moment in history. According to Gascón, what she noticed during that time was that only after Floyd’s death did people care about him, but prior to his death, they did not help him or care about his struggles.

“I do not identify with any political party and I have my own opinions about issues that might have been one thing in the past, but have now shifted because I have learned many things about respect, love and with the spiritual practice of Buddhism,” said Gascón.

In the interview, she also pulls the “I have a friend who’s Black, so I’m not racist,” card by saying she has a very close family friend who is Muslim, in response to the line of questioning about her being Islamophobic and only through very heavy discussions with her, has Gascón truly come to understand the implications of her words against the culture and religion, as well as the differences between the cultures.

“Emilia Peréz” was already facing an upward battle to gain popularity, as it was a French production about México. Audiences criticized the film for various reasons and yet, it was still nominated for Best Picture, Critics Choice Award for Best Picture, Academy Award for Best Directing, and many others.

Gascón deleted her X account shortly after the tweets were discovered and is now facing the cold shoulder from Netflix. Variety and THR, reported that the streaming giant is no longer directly communicating with Gascón – only through representatives. Whether or not this is a witch hunt for a trans actress at the height of her career, Gascón now has first-hand experience in dealing with what it means to misuse a platform by sharing her views on issues she said herself, she did not understand.

— whether in intimate spaces, weaponized language, or American classrooms — negated the civil rights of biological females and fostered distrust of our federal institutions.”

A U.S. Senate committee hearing will be held Thursday for Linda McMahon, Trump’s nominee for education secretary, who has been criticized by LGBTQ advocacy groups. GLAAD, for instance, notes that she helped to launch and currently chairs the board of a conservative think tank that “has campaigned against policies that support transgender rights in education.”

NBC News reported on Tuesday that Trump planned to issue an executive order this week to abolish the Education Department altogether.

While the president and his conservative allies in and outside the administration have repeatedly expressed plans to disband the agency, doing so would require approval from Congress.

CHRISTOPHER KANE

The U.S. Department of Education headquarters in D.C. (Photo courtesy of the GSA/Education Department)

KARLA SOFÍA GASCÓN speaks to Juan Carlos Arciniegas on CNN en Español.

(Screengrab of CNN en Español/Youtube)

Canadian LGBTQ group cancels WorldPride participation over Trump policies

Egale Canada cites need to ‘safeguard our trans and nonbinary staff’

By LOU CHIBBARO JR.

Egale Canada, one of Canada’s largest LGBTQ advocacy organizations, announced in a Feb. 6 statement that its members will not be attending any events in the U.S., including WorldPride set to take place in Washington from May 17-June 8, because of policies put in place by President Donald Trump.

The statement says the decision not to come to the U.S. resulted in its cancellation of plans to attend a meeting of the Commission on the Status of Women at U.N. headquarters in New York in March, at which it planned to discuss LGBTQ related issues.

“After deep consideration, we have de-

cided not to engage in-person in this year’s Commission on the Status of Women or any other UN, OAS (Organization of American States) or global convergings, including WorldPride, taking place in the United States in the foreseeable future,” the statement says.

“This decision is foremost based on the need to safeguard our trans and nonbinary staff who would face questionable treatment at land and aviation borders to attend such convenings, and to stand in solidarity with global colleagues who are experiencing similar fear around entry to the U.S.,” the statement continues.

“It is also founded in the unique situation that has been thrust on Canadians (and citizens of other countries) regarding economic warfare and threats to our national sovereignty,” according to the statement. “We cannot in good conscience engage in a process of disentangling our organization from the U.S. goods and services (as we have recently released in a statement) and then proceed to travel to the U.S.”

The Egale Canada statement marks the first known time that an international LGBTQ rights organization has declared it will not come to the U.S. to attend WorldPride be-

cause of the controversial policies adopted by the Trump-Vance administration, which so far have included a roll back of programs and policies in support of transgender people.

Suspension of US aid forces PEPFAR-funded programs in Africa to close down

Funding freeze is ‘matter of

By SAM KISIKA

The suspension of nearly all U.S. foreign aid has forced a number of programs that the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief funds in Africa to shut down.

Secretary of State Marco Rubio on Jan. 24 directed State Department personnel to stop nearly all U.S. foreign aid spending for 90 days in response to an executive order that President Donald Trump signed after his inauguration. Rubio later issued a waiver that allows PEPFAR and other “life-saving humanitarian assistance” programs to continue operating after bowing to pressure.

A message on the U.S. Agency for International Development’s website notes “all USAID direct hire personnel will be placed on administrative leave globally, with the exception of designated personnel respon-

Mexican group

life and death’

sible for mission-critical functions, core leadership, and specially designated programs.” The announcement was scheduled to take place on Feb. 7 at 11:59 p.m. ET.

One of the PEPFAR-funded healthcare programs in Kenya still impacted by the funding freeze, despite Rubio’s waiver, is the Fahari ya Jamii (“joy of the community” in Swahili) initiative that began in 2022. The University of Nairobi was jointly implementing the project.

The Sh4.2 billion ($32,558,139.52) project sought to coordinate and manage high quality, cost-effective, and accessible HIV services in Nairobi, neighboring Kajiado County, and other parts of Kenya. Fahari ya Jamii was scheduled to end in May 2026, but it has closed indefinitely because of a lack of U.S. funding.

More than 700 staff, mostly healthcare workers, on Jan. 31 were placed on unpaid leave for three months, or until Washington decides whether to unfreeze funding. More than 150 Fahari ya Jamii clinics that offer HIV treatment to at least 72,000 people on antiretroviral drugs have also shut down.

The initiative’s target groups include children, adolescents, and adults living with HIV; young people, men, and women at risk of HIV; and key populations that include men who have sex with men and female sex workers. Fahari ya Jamii since 2022 has offered HIV tests to more than 257,500 people, connected 94 percent of those who tested positive to treatment, distributed condoms and lubricants, and disseminated safter sex messages to their target groups.

Faith Ndung’u, advocacy manager for

Kenya’s Health NGOs’ Network (HENNET) said the Trump-Vance administration should have used a humane approach to engage with countries that benefit from U.S. funding, instead of abruptly suspending it.

“We are feeling the magnitude of the suspension in the health sector because these are lives; these are people,” said Ndung’u. “When such an abrupt decision is made, we are talking about more than one million people living with HIV being affected.”

HENNET is an umbrella group with 112 members from local and international NGOs, faith-based organizations, and research institutions that focus on health-related issues in Kenya’s 47 local governments.

that serves LGBTQ migrants may close without US funding

60 percent of Casa Frida’s annual budget comes from Washington

By MICHAEL K. LAVERS

MEXICO CITY — The Trump-Vance administration’s decision to freeze nearly all U.S. foreign aid spending for at least 90 days could force a Mexican organization that serves LGBTQ migrants and asylum seekers to close.

Casa Frida works with upwards of 300 LGBTQ asylum seekers and migrants in Mexico City and in the cities of Monterrey and Tapachula.

Casa Frida Director Raúl Caporal on Monday told the Washington Blade during an interview at his Mexico City office that 60 percent of his organization’s annual budget comes from U.S. government grants — specifically from the U.S. Agency for International Development, the State Department, and its Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons.

Caporal said the U.S. on Jan. 24 suspended funding for five Casa Frida initiatives that specifically focused on “organizational

strengthening, humanitarian assistance, financial inclusion, digital security” and fighting human trafficking.

Secretary of State Marco Rubio on the same day directed State Department personnel to stop nearly all U.S. foreign aid spending for 90 days in response to an executive order that Trump signed on Jan. 20. Rubio last week issued a waiver that allows the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief and other “life-saving humanitarian assistance” programs to continue to operate during the funding freeze.

“All of these (Casa Frida) services are now extremely limited and compromised because the suspension was immediate,” Caporal told the Blade.

He said Casa Frida has already laid off several staffers. Caporal also told the Blade the U.S. funds that remain in Casa Frida’s bank account may have to be returned to Washington.

“That implies many problems,” said Caporal. “It’s not only the continuity of our services, but it also puts the organization’s future at risk.”

Casa Frida has already laid off several staffers. Caporal told the Blade that he and his colleagues are working with the European Union, foreign governments, local officials, and private donors to find additional funding sources.

The waiver that Rubio issued notes it does not apply to “activities that involve abortions, family planning conferences” and “gender or DEI ideology programs, transgender surgeries, or other non-life saving assistance.”

Caporal said there is a chance the White House could extend the funding freeze in order to “review which international cooperation projects align or coincide with the current administration’s political interests.”

“We are quite certain that much of this aid is going to return,” he said. “But (Trump)

since the campaign has made it very clear that nothing, not a single dollar for the LGBT community, or for sexual rights, reproductive rights, women, migrants.”

“It is therefore very possible that projects that have more to do with eliminating inequality gaps, poverty, urban development, etc., will return,” added Caporal. “But we are not waiting for these projects to be reactivated.”

(Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

USAID staffers in November 2024 visited Casa Frida, a Mexico City-based group that serves LGBTQ migrants and asylum seekers. (Photo courtesy of Casa Frida’s Instagram page)

Suspension of US aid is ‘catastrophe’ for global LGBTQ rights movement

Washington funds third of international advocacy

By MICHAEL K. LAVERS

The Trump-Vance administration’s decision to freeze nearly all U.S. foreign aid spending for at least 90 days has had a devastating impact on the global LGBTQ rights movement.

The Institute on Race, Equality and Human Rights, a Washington-based group that championed LGBTQ and intersex rights in Brazil and elsewhere in Latin America, on Feb. 1 announced it has suspended programming because it lost nearly 80 percent of its funding.

“Despite some limitations we are facing at the moment, we want to share that our commitment is unwavering,” said the organization in an email it sent to supporters on Wednesday. The message also asked them to make a donation.

Outright International, a global LGBTQ advocacy group, in a statement to the Washington Blade said it has “had to halt direct funding and capacity-building support to LGBTIQ groups in more than 32 countries” in Africa, Asia, the Caribbean, and Latin America.

“The community-based groups we support with USAID funding carry out critical human rights, humanitarian and development work,” said Outright International. “This includes protecting community members from violence, providing skills training that allows LGBTIQ people to access employment and entrepreneurial opportunities, and essential services, including healthcare services.”

The LGBTQ+ Victory Institute works with Caribe Afirmativo in Colombia, Promsex in Peru, VoteLGBT in Brazil, and a number of other advocacy groups outside the U.S. LGBTQ+ Victory Institute President Elliot Imse told the Blade his organization has lost around $600,000, which is two-thirds of its entire global program budget.

“We’re scrambling to secure new funding to restore half of the amount we lost, which would allow us to make a similar impact on LGBTQ inclusion worldwide,” he said.

Equal Namibia and Namibia Pride received a $30,000 grant from the U.S. Agency for International Development. Omar van Reenen, co-founder of Equal Namibia, told the Washington Blade it “was the largest grant and biggest grant on such a scale we have received.

“When we received this grant it was the first time we had substantial funding for our organization,” they said.

Van Reenen said the organizations have lost $10,000 of the original $30,000 they received from USAID.

“This means we do are back to zero funds for the organization and will need to continue our campaigns on a voluntary basis,” they told the Blade. “This comes at the worse time as we will need to challenge the new anti-same-sex marriage act passed by the president in October and the upcoming decriminalization case which the Supreme Court will hear soon.”

The Center for Integrated Training and Research, a group known by the Spanish acronym COIN that fights the HIV/AIDS epidemic in the Dominican Republic and in other countries in the Caribbean, on Feb. 6 said the

funding freeze “directly affects the continuity of the free services that COIN provides to more than 2,300 patients who receive antiretroviral treatment” in the Dominican Republic.

COIN said its patients will continue to receive free antiretroviral drugs because the Dominican government provides them; but the funding freeze has forced it to suspend urology, internal medicine, and pediatric services. COIN said it will continue to provide vaccines and general medicine, gynecological, and family planning services, but “with limitations.” COIN also noted its PrEP service will continue, “but with reduced capacity.”

“In light of this situation, we urgently call upon the national and international community, strategic allies, and sectors sensitive to our cause to find solutions that allow us to continue offering these vital services,” said COIN. “The health and well-being of thousands of people depends on the solidarity and commitment of everyone.”

Secretary of State Marco Rubio on Jan. 24 directed State Department personnel to stop nearly all U.S. foreign aid spending for 90 days in response to an executive order that President Donald Trump signed after his inauguration. Rubio later issued a waiver that allows the President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief and other “life-saving humanitarian assistance” programs to continue to operate during the freeze. (The Blade last week reported PEPFAR-funded programs in Kenya and other African countries have been forced to suspend services and even shut down because of a lack of U.S. funding. Dozens of HIV/AIDS activists on Feb. 6 protested outside the State Department and demanded U.S. officials fully restore PEPFAR funding.)

The Trump-Vance administration is also trying to dismantle USAID.

A statement the White House issued on Feb. 3 said the organization “has been unaccountable to taxpayers as it funnels massive sums of money to the ridiculous — and, in many cases, malicious — pet projects

of entrenched bureaucrats, with next-to-no oversight.”

The statement also contains examples of what it described as “the waste and abuse.”

• $1.5 million to “advance diversity equity and inclusion in Serbia’s workplaces and business communities”

• $47,000 for a “transgender opera” in Colombia

• $32,000 for a “transgender comic book” in Peru

• $2 million for sex changes and “LGBT activism” in Guatemala

The statement links to an article the Daily Mail published on Jan. 31 that President Donald Trump “strips millions from DEI foreign aid programs funding Irish musicals, LGBTQ programs in Serbia and more.” The claim that USAID paid for “sex changes and ‘LGBT activism’ in Guatemala” appears to come from an article the Daily Caller published on Sept. 19, 2024.

Sources with whom the Blade has spoken say the White House’s claims are not correct.

Salvadoran President Nayib Bukele on Feb. 2 welcomed efforts to dismantle USAID.

“Most governments don’t want USAID funds flowing into their countries because they understand where much of that money actually ends up,” he wrote on X. “While marketed as support for development, democracy, and human rights, the majority of these funds are funneled into opposition groups, NGOs with political agendas, and destabilizing movements.”

Mónica Hernández, executive director of ASPIDH Arcoíris Trans, a transgender rights group in El Salvador, spoke with the Blade last week in San Salvador, the country’s capital. Posters with USAID’s logo were on the wall inside the organization’s office.

Hernández said she learned on Jan. 27 the State Department had suspended funding that ASPIDH Arcoíris Trans received through Freedom House and other groups that received U.S. support. She told the Blade that Washington cancelled the grants the following day.

“The (challenge) is to look for other funds from another institution that is not USAID, or that is not from the United States that has to go through the State Department,” she said.

Outright International told the Blade that USAID is not it’s “only source of funding,” but noted “USAID, and the U.S. government more broadly, have in recent years become an extremely important source of funding for LGBTIQ rights around the world, allowing us and our partners to expand our efforts to promote inclusive development and combat pervasive human rights violations.”

Council for Global Equality Chair Mark Bromley told the Blade the U.S. funds roughly a third of the global LGBTQ rights movement. Imse said the global LGBTQ rights movement is set to lose more than $50 million.

“It is a catastrophe,” he told the Blade.

Bromley added it will be “challenging, if not impossible” to fill the funding gap.

“There isn’t a short term way to fill the current funding gap,” he said. “It sets the movement back at least 10 years.”

Thousands of people on Feb. 5, 2025, gathered outside the U.S. Capitol to protest the Trump-Vance administration’s efforts to dismantle the U.S. Agency for International Development. Activists say the suspension of nearly all U.S. foreign aid has had a devastating impact on the global LGBTQ rights movement. (Courtesy photo)

MARIE GARCEAU

has been wor in in the field of substance use and addiction recover for over a decade. he wor s at and primaril focuses on reachin out to the communit and spreadin awareness.

ith alentine s a upon us there can be pressure to do somethin nice for that spe cial person. he da offers profound o and si nificant challen es for those who ta e it to heart. hile man participate and celebrate in their own wa countless others ma avoid it at all costs.

or individuals in recover from substance use and addiction datin and relationships can carr an added la er of comple it as sobriet and personal rowth intersect with the emotional demands of intimac . ortunatel there are practical tips for sober datin and communit resources in ashin ton . . for those recoverin from substance use. here are challen es in romantic relationships because of the inherentl unpredictable nature of romance. n one oin throu h an thin challen in in their life nows this to be true when romance enters their life at a difficult time such as recover from a substance use disorder. nfortunatel for those in recover en a in in social situations li e datin that mi ht involve alcohol or dru s often a feature of modern datin can be tri erin . ccordin to the ational urve on ru se and ealth 22. of ashin ton . . adults and older used illicit dru s in the past month. ru buse tatistics also indicate that 22. of . . adults over bin e drin at least once per month.

ithin the communit these issues are often amplified because of strained fami l relationships and individuals stru lin with sobriet and romantic relationships. ccord ing to se ual minorit adults were more li el than strai ht adults to have had a substance use disorder in the past ear. bout one third of bise ual males bise ual fe males and a males had a substance use disorder in the past ear alon with one fourth of lesbian females.

omance and sobriet can mi with the proper steps and do not have to be avoided. or e ample prioriti e our recover and ma e sobriet the non ne otiable foundation of our life. efore enterin into a relationship have confidence in our abilit to maintain our recover .

ost importantl be honest with those ou are be innin a relationship with whether in recover or not. ransparenc about our recover ourne can set the tone for a health relationship. iscuss our boundaries and tri ers earl to avoid misunderstandin s. uildin trust re uires open and honest communication about past stru les and cur rent oals. lear e pectations about tri ers and personal needs can create a safe environ ment for both partners.

hen ou are datin choose sober friendl activities. hoose dates that don t center around alcohol or dru s. i in art classes coffee meet ups pla in sports oin for wal s casual lunches or visitin museums can provide fun sober alternatives. e creative and search locall for thin s to do. plorin activities and creatin routines that support a sober lifest le can deepen the bond and reduce ris s.

inall lean on our support networ . ta connected with sponsors therapists or sup port roups to process emotions that arise durin datin and relationships. ccordin to the . . epartment of ealth . of istrict of olumbia adults identified as either lesbian a bise ual or trans ender. adults were more li el than their non counterparts to report da s of mental health not bein ood which includes stress depression and problems with emotions.

ome support resources in the area include the ommunit enter which serves as a vital resource for the communit supportin health and wellness. n addition there are resources throu h the . . ffice of uman i hts resource portal. inall there is the uicide and risis ifeline which can be reached an time to tal to a trained crisis counselor who can help if ou are e periencin suicidal thou hts substance use mental health crises or emotional distress.

f alentine s a and the pursuit of romance create obstacles see uidance en a e in communit and focus on positivit .

omantic relationships in recover re uire a balance of vulnerabilit self awareness and unwaverin commitment to sobriet . addressin challen es head on and embracin the rowth opportunities individuals in recover can e perience fulfillin and meanin ful connections.

Trump’s anti-immigration policies inspire similar efforts around the world

Individual rights, dignity, diversity now under threat in US

BY AYMAN ECKFORD

My personal experience with the American migration system is quite peculiar.

I left Russia, where I was a refugee, in 2018 after I had a serious problem with immigration authorities because of my LGBT activism. I left Russia for Israel because the tourist agency told me that Tel Aviv is the best place for me to get an American visa. My wife and I had an invitation to speak at an American disability rights conference about intersectionality, but we were secretly planning to ask for asylum in the U.S.

The U.S. denied our request for American visas. This led to a situation when we were stuck in Israel without our belongings, money, any right to work, or a proper status. Finally, four months later we had to move to the UK to ask for asylum. I’ve never had a chance to come to the U.S.

I have dreamed of living in the U.S since elementary school, but now I’m extremely glad that I’m not there.

I have been a queer refugee in three different countries, including the UK, where I’m living right now. So anti-immigration steps taken by the Trump administration have felt very disturbing and personal to me; not just because the U.S. is de facto the country of immigrants that became great because of them, but also because of the potential influence that the U.S.’s anti-immigration politics could have on the UK and Europe.

Nigel Farage’s Reform UK is taking the lead in a recent British voting intention poll, and one of the reasons is the outstanding support that billionaire Elon Musk shows to the party. Despite the fact that Musk has quite a complicated relationship with Farage, financial and propaganda support from Musk is able to change the British political climate.

Ordinary British people I have met and political analysts are asking themself whether it possible that MAGA is spreading anti-immigration and aggressive ideas to the UK, and if so, what it would mean for the UK sovereignty.

Reform party supporters were involved in anti-immigration pogroms that were happening in the UK in August 2024 and is also known for their anti-LGBT and especially anti-transgender policies.

Farage in June 2024 released a pre-election party manifesto in which he pledged to “ ban transgender ideology ” in schools, including stopping social transitioning for trans youth, insisting that “ transgender indoctrination is causing irreversible harm to children.” Ageism and xenophobia are once again walking hand in hand with anti-LGBT policies.

Reform UK also promised to leave the European Convention on Human Rights and replace the Equality Act 2010, and those steps would definitely harm LGBT communities.

So, under the Reform Party, the ones who live at the intersection — LGBT refugees, like me, and LGBT asylum seekers — will be in particular danger, not just in Britain, but also in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.

The far-right is gaining more and more power in the UK.

Thousands gathered in Central London on Feb. 1 to support British far-right influencer Tommy Robinson, who the British government has jailed. Robinson is also famous for his anti-immigration campaigns and transphobia and also gets political and financial support from Musk.

Some people in the demonstration were wearing “ Make England Great Again” caps, an obvious reference to MAGA.

I, on the other hand, never in my life felt safe on a street before I came to the UK. It doesn ’ t matter who was in power — Labour or the Tories — in the country. I have never faced even one percent of the discrimination I experienced in Russia and Ukraine as an autistic person. When I came to the UK, it felt like time traveling to the future where diversity is accepted and celebrated. I can hardly imagine that if Reform comes to power, British society will suddenly change their attitude toward LGBT refugees. The law could become worse, but the ideas of universal human rights in the UK are too strong to be messed up so easily. At least I hope so.

Now LGBT rights activists in the UK are even thinking about welcoming trans* asylum seekers from the U.S. and helping them to get status and support in the UK. I spoke about this during a break with representatives of the Rainbow Migration group in London, soon after Donald Trump signed his transphobic executive orders.

Because American trans* people who work in the military and government are losing their jobs while the UK has the NHS — a free medical healthcare system for everyone, including tourists and asylum seekers, free medical prescriptions for the poor — and a lot of social support like free housing for asylum seekers, free solicitors, strong community support provided by charities, and so on, it is possible that some trans* people would now become refugees here.

The UK and European countries are, of course, not the most obvious choice, according to PinkNews. Some LGBT Americans are considering a more geographically close destination, such as Canada, as their possible destination.

I think it could sound surprising for some Americans, but most of the European Union countries are much less friendly toward refugees than the UK.

Musk’s attempts’ to promote MEGA, Make Europe Great Again, has even more chances to succeed in Germany, especially considering the level of support he shows to the Alternative to Germany party. AfD is also known for its support of Russia, which is using openly homophobic and transphobic rhetoric in justification of their war in Ukraine. Russian state propaganda says it is acceptable to kill civilians to stop the spread of an extremist LGBT ideology.

Musk ’s ideas that Germans should stop condemning the Holocaust together with AfD sympathy for Russia is an extremely dangerous situation for LGBT refugees. Even straight refugees in conservative-dominated Bavaria are wary of mentioning their support of LGBT people to local authorities.

All authoritarian regimes began their persecution by targeting the most vulnerable and marginalized people before they move to restrict freedoms for the entire population.

I learned about liberty, individual rights, dignity, and diversity as a child by watching American movies, but these values are now under threat in the U.S. And the American government is beginning to spread a completely opposite idea that is threatening universal human rights in Europe and beyond. It is now possible to stop the process, but it soon may become too late. I’m not so scared of Trump’s actions, but I am scared that not enough efforts have been made to oppose them in the U.S. and beyond.

Editor ’s note: The author uses trans* in order to be inclusive of nonbinary and gender queer people.

is a longtime LGBTQ rights and Democratic Party activist. He writes regularly for the Blade.

Trump turns presidency over to Musk

Will instead chair Kennedy Center board

President Felon has decided the presidency is too much for him to handle, and has in essence turned it over to Elon Musk. He will instead chair the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, Board of Trustees, and work to destroy that institution. I wonder if Trump even knows the history of the Kennedy Center, or its mission.

He could easily find out if he looked at its website. “In 1958, a Republican president, Dwight D. Eisenhower, signed bipartisan legislation creating a National Cultural Center in the nation’s capital. In November of 1962, President and Mrs. Kennedy launched a $30 million fundraising campaign for the Center’s construction. Former President Eisenhower and his wife Mamie participated in the event, which demonstrated the bipartisan support for a world-class center for the performing arts in D.C.  In 1963, President Kennedy signed legislation to extend the fundraising deadline for the Center. Two months after President Kennedy’s assassination, by an Act of Congress signed into law by President Lyndon B. Johnson on Jan. 23, 1964, the nation’s National Cultural Center was designated as a living memorial to President John F. Kennedy. By this Act, President Kennedy’s devotion to the advancement of the performing arts in the United States was recognized.”

The mission of the Center is also there. “The Center’s mission is established in its authorizing statute: present classical and contemporary music, opera, drama, dance, and other performing arts from the United States and other countries; promote and maintain the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts as the National Center for the Performing Arts; strive to ensure that the education and outreach programs and policies of the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts meet the highest level of excellence and reflect the cultural diversity of the United States; provide facilities for other civic activities at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts; and provide within the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts a suitable memorial in honor of the late President.” To fulfill the mission as the nation’s cultural center, the Kennedy Center presents world-class art by the artists that define our culture today, delivers powerful arts education opportunities nationwide, and embodies the ideals of President Kennedy in all the Center’s activities provided throughout the living memorial.

Clearly, with the federal government, and the world in chaos, much of that due to his recent decisions, Trump seems to have determined ending drag shows at the Kennedy Center will be his number one priority. I’ve been thinking maybe he wants to go down in history in the same way as Nero, ‘who fiddled while Rome burned.’

It is perplexing, at the advanced age of 78, Donald Trump has decided to become the nation’s culture czar. The man who has likely never sat through an entire play, or concert, and who knows less than nothing, about the arts. On the other hand, this is no more ludicrous than his being president for a second term with still no real knowledge of what the various federal agencies, he has now given control of to Musk, actually do. Why is the free press, those that still exist, not asking him, or even his Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt specific questions about this. Asking them if they know what USAID actually does. Can they name the programs, do they know how much money Iowa farmers will lose if USAID closes. Then ask if they know what the Department of Education does, what percentage of the money spent nationally on education comes through them? What role does the Department play in the education of children with disabilities, and those who are poor, and qualify for title one funding? What role do they play in the lives of the countless of millions of people with disabilities through the Rehabilitation Services Administration, which is in the Department of Education. Do they know the history of that being moved from what was HEW in 1980 when the Department was set up by Congress? Do they know or care about the Civil Rights work of the Department of Education? We know as a racist, and homophobe, Trump likely doesn’t care about that. I keep imagining Trump and Musk standing together in front of a mirror. One sees himself reflected back as Hitler, the other as Mussolini. Maybe, in his new role as chair of the Board of Trustees of the Kennedy Center, Trump can commission a new play on this. A possible title could be ‘Musk and his mistress, an American tragedy.’

where DC meets to

skate

THE WHARF ICE RINK ON TRANSIT PIER IS OPEN THROUGH FEBRUARY

During the colder months, enjoy one of the coolest spots on the waterfront: The Wharf Ice Rink. Come to Transit Pier and lace up your skates—bring your own or rent some rink-side. The Wharf Ice Rink is open every Wednesday to Sunday through the end of February.

Ice skate with your family and friends and join us for our on-the-ice events including Curling & Cocktails and Rock the Rink with the Washington Capitals.

CURLING & COCKTAILS | EVERY WEDNESDAY, 7PM, 8PM, 9PM ROCK THE RINK | SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 22, 2PM-5PM

UPCOMING PERFORMANCES

KODO

One Earth Tour 2025: Warabe

Saturday, Mar. 1 at 8 p.m

Rooted Rhythms

Saturday, Feb. 15 at 8 p.m.

“Los Angeles’ Best Dance Troupe for Hip Hop Empowerment” (LA Weekly)

The Acting Company August Wilson’s TWO TRAINS RUNNING

Sunday, Feb. 16 at 7 p.m.

A Tony Award-winning play set during the civil rights movement

A modern take on the ancient art form of taiko drumming

ANGÉLIQUE KIDJO

Sunday, Mar. 2 at 7 p.m.

Five-time GRAMMY Award winner

TICKETS

D.C.’s most eligible queer singles

It’s not too late to find a date for Valentine’s Day

FROM

STAFF REPORTS

Each year, the Blade seeks our readers’ help in identifying the most eligible local queer singles. Here is this year’s list.

Hallie O’Rourke, 26, non-profit management, lesbian

What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who is kind, loyal, intelligent, funny, and who shares my interests while also introducing me to new things. I’m looking for a long term partner who can make me laugh every day and who inspires me to be a better version of myself.

Biggest turn off: Flaky and indecisive people.

Biggest turn on: (Over) communication, taking initiative, making plans.

Hobbies: I enjoy reading and am always in search of the next great book. I also adore arts and crafts and collage frequently. I love experimenting with new mediums and exploring different art forms.

What is your biggest goal for 2025? My biggest goal is to be more outgoing and comfortable introducing myself to strangers. I’d love to go on more solo trips and meet new people around the world.

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither at the moment, but I am looking to get a cat in the near future.

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No, I’d like to be with someone who shares my core political values and beliefs.

Celebrity crush? Ruby Cruz

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I’m a huge fan of “The Room” (AKA the worst movie of the 21st century) and have met two of the cast members, including the infamous Tommy Wiseau.

Danielle Pasekoff, 25, Democratic strategist and community organizer, lesbian/she/her

What are you looking for in a mate? A genuine partnership! A hopeless romantic, good listener, always down for an adventure and perpetually optimistic.

Biggest turn off: Poor communication, dishonesty, apathy, loud chewing

Biggest turn on: NJGs (Nice Jewish Girls)

Hobbies: Watching reality TV, running, singing in the shower, going to concerts, game nights with friends, shopping, running a community group for queer women and trans folks! Check out DC Gay Girls Plus!

What is your biggest goal for 2025? Finally make a dent in my ever-growing TBR book stack.

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither but ultimately want both.

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Not in 2025!

Celebrity crush? Caitlin Clark

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I have six tattoos

Mauricio Pita, 39, actor/producer, gay

What are you looking for in a mate? Confidence, authenticity, creativity, resiliency, kindness, humor, and attraction. The rest we can figure out.

Biggest turn off: Shame

Biggest turn on: A well-executed wink.

Hobbies: I love stories (movies, theater, books, poetry, gaming, music, writing, etc.) both as a receiver and a giver, dancing like no one (or everyone) is watching, and exploring new spaces.

What is your biggest goal for 2025? To see more of my family.

Pets, kids, or neither? I have the most chill Chihuahua, I’m open to all.

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? It all depends, but we must agree on freedom.

Celebrity crush? Right now, Drew Starkey from “Queer”

Name one obscure fact about yourself? My other career choices were Paleontology and Computer Science.

CONTINUES ON PAGE 26

HALLIE O’ROURKE (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

DANIELLE PASEKOFF (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

MAURICIO PITA (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 24

D.C.’s most eligible queer singles continued

Portia McDaniels, 39, attorney, lesbian

What are you looking for in a mate? A thoughtful, kind monogamist woman to share life’s adventures. Willingness to laugh at my bad jokes is a plus. Find me on instagram @esqmasc

Biggest turn off: Bad hygiene, rudeness especially to people in customer service, lateness without any warning

Biggest turn on: Effective communication, good sense of humor, loves fitness and staying active, a great signature scent

Hobbies: Weightlifting, reading everything I’ve bought on Audible, trying new cocktail bars. During good weather, I enjoy kayaking and hiking. Soon to be: improving my Spanish and relearning Mandarin.

What is your biggest goal for 2025? Hitting some new PRs in the gym, and being consistent with the gentle art (Brazilian jiu jitsu)

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither right now, but I definitely want kids. Former dog mom who would love another pooch. Not opposed to cats, but they make me sneezy. Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? It depends Celebrity crush? Janelle Monae, Zaynah Bear

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I was on NPR in college

Lily Kardell, 32, garden center manager, queer/ lesbian/she/her

What are you looking for in a mate? A kind, confident soul who thrives on both independence and deep emotional connection. They’re creative and a great communicator. Their love languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, and quality time.

Biggest turn off: Mean-spiritedness and arrogance.

Biggest turn on: Empathy, passion, and a great sense of humor

Hobbies: I play weekly in a pool league (go Troublemakers!). I also enjoy kayaking, paddleboarding, and cycling in the summer. Ice skating, reading, fiber arts, and crafting are a few of my other favorite pastimes. What is your biggest goal for 2025? I’m starting the next chapter of my career and I’m determined to make it the best one yet! I also want to finish one of my many work in progress craft projects!

Pets, kids, or neither? I’m all about that cool gay aunt life, but prefer to live as a pet and plant mom! I have an adorable, orange cat named Willow. She’s a rambunctious,

little rescue and I love her like a daughter.

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? In DC?!? No! Free Palestine, Black Lives Matter, trans rights are human rights!

Celebrity crush? This is such a fun question and was somehow the hardest for me to answer. I’d have to go with Sandra Oh, Niecey Nash, and weirdly even Jeff Goldblum! Name one obscure fact about yourself? At age 11, I won first place in the Greater Washington Soap Box Derby Race (like the large ones that you can actually sit in). We raced down Constitution Avenue and finished right next to the Capitol.

David Draper, 32, early talent acquisition recruiter, gay

What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who knows what he wants and is looking for someone who also knows what he wants. I’d love to find a person who works on himself and is constantly striving to improve and be the best version of himself he can be (mentally, physically, emotionally). As someone who really enjoys “downtime” and alone time I’m looking for someone who I can be around and just “be” and enjoy each other’s company. I enjoy nights out, but I have no problem calling it early-ish (like 12:30AM) and wouldn’t mind a person who likes to go out, but is also fine with leaving the bar/party early to go home and enjoy some downtime and hangout in a more peaceful environment.

Biggest turn off: My biggest turn off is assuming someone is feeling another way when they told you they were feeling one way (i.e. “Are you upset?” “No I’m not upset.” “Well you see upset.”). Another big turn off is “one upping.” This applies to both positive things as well as negative things. And when people lack empathy.

Biggest turn on: My biggest non-physical turn on is emotional intelligence, a sense of humor/quick wit, and an appreciation of sarcasm.

Hobbies: I’m a certified Bravoholic and consider watching The Real Housewives a hobby. I also have a Peloton bike and enjoy running, so staying active is important to me. I also attend a lot of concerts and Broadway shows, so my Ticketmaster app always has at least 2-3 tickets for upcoming events at various concert venues in and around D.C.

What is your biggest goal for 2025? My biggest goal for 2025 is to continue prioritizing my physical, mental, and emotional health. Toward the end of 2024, I started a journey to develop better habits around working out, eating, drinking, and sleeping. This year, I’m looking forward to maintaining and building on these healthier habits. A big milestone for me will be running my first marathon at the 2025 Chicago Marathon this fall.

Pets, kids, or neither? I’m a proud Cat Dad to Linus and Louie.

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Typically no. By no means would I expect to agree with everything, but would we need to agree on the fundamentals especially on social issues.

Celebrity crush? Some combination of Chris Mazdzer, Jonathan Bailey, and/or Patrick (from Schitt’s Creek)

Name one obscure fact about yourself? When I was 5, I refused to re-wear pairs of socks and “demanded” to my mom that I have a new pair every day… that didn’t last. I guess you could say I was “particular.”

CONTINUES ON PAGE 28

PORTIA MCDANIELS (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

LILY KARDELL (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

DAVID DRAPER (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

D.C.’s most eligible queer singles continued

Finn Vigeland, 32, transportation planner, gay

What are you looking for in a mate? In no particular order: a guy who fits right in with my friends and family, whose intellect and hobbies charm me, who’s professionally motivated and loves what he does, who wants to travel with me, and who makes me laugh.

Biggest turn off: Laziness/unprofessionalism, being uninterested in new adventures, disrespect to waitstaff, over dependence on cars

Biggest turn on: Good dancer, takes the bus, is smart but loves a stupid joke, becomes friends with my friends in his own right

Hobbies: Biking, board games, dance parties with friends, hosting Survivor watch parties, kickball, nerding out about transit, constructing crossword puzzles for the New York Times

What is your biggest goal for 2025? tbh, find a boyfriend!

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither currently, open to both

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Political views are a reflection of our values. If we aren’t aligned on values, we’re not a match.

Celebrity crush? Jonathan Bailey but for at least the last 10 years! I’ve been on the bandwagon!

Name one obscure fact about yourself? In college I often gave celebrities and their kids campus tours. The coolest was Rob Lowe, the most random was a Korean R&B legend who brought a camera crew; I wound up on Korean TV in a reality series about her life.

SC Nealy, 35, mental health therapist, author, business owner, queer/gender fluid

What are you looking for in a mate? Emotional intelligence, strong communication, loyalty, honesty, and a whole lot of humor

Biggest turn off: Cannot stand the smell of weed or cigarettes. It’s just not for me to be around!

Biggest turn on: Gentleness, passion, thoughtfulness, and quiet strength

Hobbies: I crochet little toy animals for friends and children, and I love to write. I also love socializing with my friends and being in community.

What is your biggest goal for 2025? Continue to expand my business LGBT+ Counseling Collaborative and bring accessible, queer-celebratory mental health services to the DMV area.

Pets, kids, or neither? I have two young daughters, and a dog and a cat. I accept people’s lives as they are and whatever comes with them.

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? No, I would not. My political views are based in human dignity and equality. If that’s not something you can agree with or if money comes before people, I have no interest in exposing myself to your viewpoints.

Celebrity crush? Ruby Rose

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I won the 2024 Humanitarian of the Year Award from the Virginia Counselors Association.

Logan Dulski, 25, graphic designer, non-binary pansexual

What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who’s kind, funny, and more than a little nerdy — someone who can commit to the bit. Bonus points if they have a solid karaoke go-to and appreciate the magic of a well-organized notion board.

Biggest turn off: All the basic turn-offs like being rude to waitstaff or poor hygiene, but throw in being overly nonchalant.

Biggest turn on: Someone witty, considerate, and knows what they want

Hobbies: Playing Dungeons & Dragons (or any other ttrpgs), crochet, ballet, reading, playing video games, and tarot

What is your biggest goal for 2025? My biggest goal for 2025 is to get my tarot deck, the Community & Connection Pocket Tarot, fully funded and printed by the end of the year.

FINN VIGELAND (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

SC NEALY (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

LOGAN DULSKI (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 28

D.C.’s most eligible queer singles continued

Pets, kids, or neither? Yes to pets. Hard no to kids.

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Absolutely not, especially if their views coincide with whether or not I should have basic human rights.

Celebrity crush? Rhea Ripley, Pedro Pascal, and all of the band Sleep Token

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I took over 9 years of Mandarin lessons as a kid and still don’t know a lick of Mandarin.

Ges,

What are you looking for in a mate? I’m looking for someone who’s ambitious and passionate about what they do—someone who’s always chasing their goals and excited about what’s next. I love going to workout classes, trying new coffee spots, and traveling, so it’d be great to have someone who’s up for all of that too. And most importantly, I need someone who can handle a little friendly teasing but isn’t afraid to give it back.

Biggest turn off: A big turn-off for me is when someone doesn’t take care of themselves or prioritize good hygiene. It’s not about being perfect, but I’m really drawn to people who put effort into their well-being and take pride in feeling their best.

Biggest turn on: My biggest turn-on is someone who’s confident but also charismatic. There’s something really attractive about a person who knows their worth, carries themselves well, and can effortlessly connect with people. Confidence without arrogance and a natural charm go a long way.

Hobbies: My hobbies include going to Barry’s and Solidcore, spending time with my family at the lake, and staying up to date with energy and sustainability initiatives around the world. I love a good workout, quality time with the people who matter most, and keeping up with ways to make a positive impact on the planet.

What is your biggest goal for 2025? My goal for 2025 is to be more mindful and present in every moment. I want to trust the process, knowing that just because one door closes doesn’t mean another isn’t opening. It’s about staying grounded, making bold choices with confidence, and being open to whatever opportunities come my way.

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? I feel pretty grounded and educated in my own political views, and while I’m always open to hearing new perspectives and having thoughtful discussions, I do think there’s a fine line when it comes to politics. Healthy conversations are great, but at a certain point, fundamental differences can become a deal breaker.

Celebrity crush? Jonathan Bailey

Name one obscure fact about yourself? I fell off the lower deck of a cruise ship in

Turkey once!

Sisi Reid, 32, actor/dancer/theater artist/educator, Black Queer Sensual Femme, Pansexual

What are you looking for in a mate? Compassionate and thoughtful, playful, affectionate, practices wellness (physical, spiritual, emotional, mental), loves travel, values growth and self accountability, loves traveling together, open to navigating travel and distance in our relationship (I travel for work and solo travel), a willingness to co-design a committed relationship that is non escalator/unique to us, and values peace of mind and peace in home.

Biggest turn off: Mean/unkind, unwillingness to listen/learn something new/be curious, lack of follow up with actions, and arrogance

Biggest turn on: Joy/your own sense of what nourishes your joy and practices you enjoy in your alone time, whole body listening, remembering and reflecting back to me (in your own way) things I do/say, someone who has dreams and goals for themselves

Hobbies: Dancing, being in nature, traveling locally and internationally, watching tv/ movies, coloring/sketching, and exploring local arts events, festivals, museums.

What is your biggest goal for 2025? To center my physical wellness, so my mind has more peace and to make and perform my solo dance performances on international stages.

Pets, kids, or neither? Neither

Would you date someone whose political views differ from yours? Yes, but if the views aren’t rooted in Black liberation, in justice, and a radical reimagining of these current systems, nah I don’t want that.

Celebrity crush? Rutina Wesley

Name one obscure fact about yourself? My spirituality is nature, magical, kinky, and fueled by my imagination.

Tristan

26, consultant, gay

TRISTAN GES (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

SISI REID (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)

CALENDAR |

Friday, February 14

“Center Aging Friday Tea Time” will be at 2 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social hour for older LGBTQ+ adults. Guests are encouraged to bring a beverage of choice. For more details, email adam@thedccenter.org.

Women in Their Twenties and Thirties will meet at 8 p.m. on Zoom. This is a social discussion group for queer women in the Washington, D.C. area. For more details, join WiTT’s closed Facebook group.

GoGayDC will host “LGBTQ+ Happy Hour” at 7 p.m. at Puro Gusto. This event is ideal for making new friends, professional networking, idea-sharing, and community building. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Saturday, February 15

GoGay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Brunch” at 11 a.m. at Freddie’s Beach Bar & Restaurant. This fun weekly event brings the DMV area LGBTQ+ community, including Allies, together for delicious food and conversation. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

LGBTQ People of Color Support Group will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This is an outlet for LGBTQ People of Color to come together and talk about anything affecting them in a space the strives to be safe and judgement free. For more details, visit thedccenter.org/ poc or facebook.com/centerpoc.

Sunday, February 16

GoGay DC will host “LGBTQ+ Community Fun Day Social & Games” at 4 p.m. at Moxy. This event is ideal for making meaningful new connections and informal community building. Or just to unwind and enjoy the group happy hour. Guests may also optionally play shuffleboard, foosball, monopoly, chess, checkers, Jenga, and a host of other board games that are provided. Complimentary popcorn will also be available. Attendance is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

“MAXXIE LaWOW: Drag Super-shero animated feature + Q&A w/director” will be at 7:45 p.m. at Regal Gallery Place. This animated film is about when drag queens start disappearing and a shy young barista summons his inner super-shero to rescue them from an ambitious evil drag queen bent on harvesting their magical anti-aging tears. Tickets are $13 and are available on Eventbrite.

Monday, February 17

“Wicked Mondaze POP-UP Happy Hour” will be at 5 p.m. at Wild Days. This weekly POC LGBTQ+ event was launched at Wicked Bloom featuring D.C.’s own DJ MIM accompanied by renowned drummer Asha Santee. Come chill with friends, tribe, or your bae and enjoy delicious cocktails and food bites. It’s a celebration for all the Capricorns. Sounds curated by DC’s own DJ MIM & Special Guest DJ Zemi. This event is free and more details are available on Eventbrite.

Tuesday, February 18

BiRoundtableDiscussion will be at 7 p.m. on Zoom. This monthly roundtable is an opportunity for people to gather in order to discuss issues related to bisexuality or as Bi individuals in a private setting.Visit Facebook or Meetup for more information.

Wednesday, February 19

Job Club will be at 6 p.m. on Zoom. This is a weekly job support program to help job entrants and seekers, including the long-term unemployed, improve self-confidence, motivation, resilience and productivity for effective job searches and networking — allowing participants to move away from being merely “applicants” toward being “candidates.” For more information, email centercareers@thedccenter.org or visit www.thedccenter.org/careers.

By TINASHE CHINGARANDE

Thursday, February 20

The DC Center’s Fresh Produce Program will be held all day at the DC Center for the LGBT Community. People will be informed on Wednesday at 5:00 pm if they are picked to receive a produce box. No proof of residency or income is required. For more information, email supportdesk@thedccenter.org or call 202-682-2245.

Virtual Yoga with Sarah M. will be at 7:00p.m. on Zoom. This is a free weekly class focusing on yoga, breathwork, and meditation. For more details, visit the DC Center for the LGBT Community’s website.

Poly Group Discussion will be at 7:00p.m. on Zoom. This is an inclusive, welcoming, virtual safer space to talk all things polyamorous. After a quick review of group agreements and a round of introductions, the floor will open for discussion. You can ask your burning newbie questions, get advice on a thorny situation, share your heartwarming or heartbreaking stories, ask for resources, or get clear on the new terms the kids are using these days. Not sure what to talk about? There’ll bechat prompts to prime the conversational pump. This is your space for community, connection, and support. For more details, email supportdesk@thedccenter.org.

OUT & ABOUT

Don’t be alone this Valentine’s Day

Casa De LGBT will host “Gay, DL, Transgender Speed Dating” on Friday, Feb. 14 at 8 p.m. at 1406 N. Capitol St., N.W.

This will be a night of speed dating, deep connections, and good vibes. Whether you’re gay, lesbian, transgender, or queer, this event is designed to bring people together in a safe, respectful, and welcoming environment.

Come ready to connect, have fun, and maybe even meet someone special. Tickets are $30 and can be purchased on Eventbrite.

Celebrate Aquarius season with drag

SADBrunch will host “Drag Brunch” on Sunday, Feb. 16 at 12 p.m. at Throw Social.

Grab your friends & family, your mimosa, a plate full of food, and join us for Drag Brunch. Five flocking fabulous queens take to the stage to perform in this sassy, extravagant, fantabulous event. Tickets start at $25 and are available on Eventbrite.

Meet up for ‘Gay, DL, Transgender Speed Dating’ on Feb. 14 at 8 p.m. at 1406 N. Capitol St., N.W.

‘Fuenteovejuna’ comes to GALA Hispanic Theatre Lope de Vega classic to run through March 2

By PATRICK FOLLIARD

Inventively staged and strongly acted, GALA Hispanic Theatre’s production of Lope de Vega’s classic “Fuenteovejuna,” vividly brings to life an old but timely tale of injustice and power. A lot of theatergoers will find this work (first published in Madrid in 1619) painfully relevant.

Possibly Lope de Vega’s most produced play, this version of “Fuenteovejuna,” penned by renowned contemporary Spanish playwright Juan Mayorga, is markedly shorter than others you might have seen. While purists may not concur, it’s generally agreed that Mayorga has effectively condensed the plot and modernized the verse.

The action kicks off with cast members jovially sharing jokes that are mostly lost on those of us relying on the production’s English surtitles, but no matter, it creates a happy mood of a contented townsfolk whose lives are soon to be horribly disrupted. (From there on, all translation is clear and presents no difficulties.)

Lope de Vega based the play on a true incident. In 1476 in Southern Spain, village residents, unwilling to accept ongoing abuse, banded together and overthrew a brutish commander.

Here, the Commander/Comendador (played menacingly by Iker Lasker) sets upon the town and specifically the mayor’s daughter Laurencia (Julia Adun in her GALA debut). In short, the all-powerful bully makes the brae young woman’s life miserable, and as he grows increas-

ingly insistent the situation becomes perilous.

Initially she relies on the protection of her male friends. But it’s not enough.

As Laurentia is further harassed and ultimately assaulted, she somehow becomes stronger, and emboldened. Disappointed by the town’s men, she calls on the women to rebel: “Sisters, take your places, and let’s do something that will shake the whole world.”

Like all the classics, the work’s themes are enduring. Justice, decency, and collective identity are among the pressing topics explored.

Also, integral to the play’s story is the love between Laurencia and her fiancé who becomes a target of the Comendador’s savagery. Additionally, there are fine examples of familial love and genuine friendship.

There’s a lot to love about out director Juan Luis Arellano’s glowing production. It moves swiftly and excitingly. He’s assembled a large cast of talented, experienced actors (including Luz Nicolás, who plays Flores, the Commander’s right-hand man) and an outstanding design team.

Arellano has thoughtfully imbued the piece with exceptional modes of storytelling.

For instance, off to the side but still clearly seen, DJ (Aldo Ortega) provides both mediaeval and rock music. Occasionally characters step away from the other players

Scenic designer Giorgos Tsappas’s set is both a thing of beauty and unexpected functionality. Comprised of different elements that include a huge silver pendulum, a sandy floor, a curved wooden bench backed by a concrete-esque curved backdrop. All of its parts are smartly and organically integrated into the staging.

At the top of the second act, a door rather surprisingly opens, allowing the Commander surrounded by actors costumed in dark sheep masks, passage to the stage. It’s a striking image.

The set is compellingly lit by stalwart designer Jesús Díaz Cortés. He’s also responsible for the captivating visuals shot from overhead and projected on the imposing back wall. All the visual design work looks subtly expensive.

“Fuenteovejuna” is Lope de Vega at his best, and GALA’s production is the perfect means of introduction or a revisit.

“Fuenteovejuna”

Through March 2 | GALA Hispanic Theatre

3333 14th St., N.W. | $27-$50 | Galatheatre.org

to narrate from a standing mic beneath a dramatic spotlight.

IKER LASTRA surrounded by the cast of ‘Fuenteovejuna’

(Photo by Daniel Martínez)

feb. 14th - 17th

A cat and its comrades ride to adventure in breathtaking ‘Flow’

Latvian filmmaker Gints Zilbalodis directs animated fantasy adventure

By JOHN PAUL KING

Sometimes, life changes overnight, and there’s nothing to do but be swept away by it, trying to navigate its currents with nothing to help you but sheer instinct and the will to survive.

Sound familiar? It should; most lives are at some point met with the challenge of facing a new personal reality when the old one unexpectedly ceases to exist. Losing a job, a home, a relationship: any of these experiences require us to adapt, often on the fly; well-laid plans fall by the wayside and the only thing that matters is surviving to meet a new challenge tomorrow.

When such catastrophes are communal, national, or even global, the stability of existence can be erased so completely that adaptation feels nearly impossible; the “hits” just keep on coming, and we’re left reeling in a constant state of panicked uncertainty. That might sound familiar, too.

If so, you likely realize that there’s little comfort to be found in most of the entertainments we seek for distraction, outside of the temporary respite provided by thinking about something else for a while — but there are some entertainments that can work on us in a deeper way, too, and perhaps provide us with something that feels like hope, even when we know there is no chance of returning to the world we once knew.

“Flow” is just such an entertainment.

Directed by Latvian filmmaker Gints Zilbalodis from a screenplay co-written with Matīss Kaža, this independently-produced, five-and-a-half-year-in-the-making animated fantasy adventure has become one of the most acclaimed films of 2024; debuting at Cannes in the non-competitive “Un Certain Regard” section, it won raves from international reviewers and went on to claim yearly “best of” honors from numerous critics’ organizations and film award bodies, including the Golden Globes and the National Board of Review. Now nominated not only for the Academy’s Best Animated Feature award but as Best International Feature (only the third animated movie to accomplish that feat) as well, it stands as the odds-on favorite to take home at least one of those Oscars, and possibly even both — and once seen, it’s hard to dissent from that assessment.

Set in an unspecified time and an unknown, richly forested place, it centers its narrative — which begins with breathtaking quickness, almost from the opening frames of the film — on a small-ish charcoal grey cat, who wakes from its slumber to find its home rapidly disappearing under a rising tide of water. Trying to stay ahead of the flood, it finds a lifeline when it discovers an abandoned sailboat, adrift on the waves, and seeks safety on board; but the cat is not the only refugee here, and with an unlikely group of other animals — a dog, a capybara, a lemur, and a secretary bird — sharing the ride, the plucky feline must forge alliances with (and between) each of its shipmates if any of them are to avoid a seemingly apocalyptic fate. Faced with setbacks and challenges at every turn, the crew of unlikely comrades learns to cooperate out of shared necessity — but will it be enough to keep the uncontrollable waters that surround them from becoming their final oblivion?

With no human presence in the movie — though the implication that it once existed, accompanied by the inevita-

ble suspicion that climate change is behind the mysterious flood, is ominously delivered through the monumental ruined structures and broken relics it has seemingly left behind — the story unfolds without a word of dialogue, a narrative chain of events that keeps us ever-focused on the “now.” The non-verbal vocalizations of its characters (each provided by authentic animal sounds rather than human impersonation) help to convey their relationships with clarity, but it’s the visual evocation of their sensory experiences — of being trapped and at the mercy of the elements, of making an unexpected connection with another being, of enjoying a simple pleasure like a soft place to sleep — that fuels this remarkable exploration of physical existence at its most raw and vulnerable. We have no way of knowing what has happened, no way of imagining what is yet to come, but such questions fade quickly into irrelevance as the story carries our attention from the immediacy of one moment into the next.

Accentuating this in-the-moment flow of “Flow”— for if ever a film title could be said to summarize its style, it is surely this one — is its eye-absorbing visual beauty, rendered via the open-sourced software Blender to provide an aesthetic which matches the material. These realistically-drawn animals come vividly to life against a backdrop that captures a deep connection to nature, accented with the surreal intrusions of human influence and a certain appreciation for the colorful beauty of the world around us, even at its most untamed, which hints at an indefinable mysticism; and when the story begins to transcend the expected borders of its meticulously-crafted realism, the animation takes us there so easily that we scarcely notice it has happened.

Yet transcend it does, and in so doing becomes some-

thing greater than a humble adventure tale. As the animal companions progress in their journey toward hoped-for safety, the remnants of human existence become more weathered, more ancient, and less recognizable; the natural landscape through which they are carried begins to be transformed, rendered in a more mythic light by the clash of elemental forces swirling around them and the strange encounters with other creatures that occur along their way. Whatever world this may have been, it seems rapidly to be dissolving into a cosmos where the forms of the past are being reconfigured into something new — and the band of travelers, both witness to and participants in this process, cannot help but be reconfigured, too. We can’t explain that further without spoilers, but we can tell you that it includes the cat’s ability to ignore its solitary instincts and natural mistrust of its comrades in order to form a diverse (yes, we said it) and cooperative team. It also involves learning to let go of things that can no longer help, to be open to new possibilities that might, and perhaps most importantly, to surrender without fear to the “flow” and trust that it will eventually take you where you need to go, as long as you can manage to stay afloat until you get there.

Zilbalodis’s film is an immersive ride, full of visceral and frequently harrowing moments that may produce some anxiety (especially for those who hate seeing animals in peril) and conceptual shifts that may challenge your expectations — but it is a ride well worth taking. More than merely a fantastical “Noah’s Ark” fable reimagined for an environmentally conscious age, it just might offer the timely catharsis many of us need to confront our unknowable future with a renewed sense of possibility.

“Flow” begins streaming on Max on Feb. 14.

(Image courtesy of Janus Films)

Navigating these uncertain times

You have no power over others, but you have a lot of power over yourself

By MICHAEL RADKOWSKY

For Valentine’s Day, I was planning to write a column about shifts we can make in our attitudes and behaviors to strengthen our love relationships and deepen our connection with our partners.

Then, over the past few weeks, as I’ve been listening to many of my clients express their concerns about the state of our country and our world, I realized that much of what is required to have a great relationship can also help us get through the difficult times we live in.

So here are some principles that I hope will help you to navigate both the challenges of being in a close relationship and the challenges of uncertain times.

a bit more easily.

Strive to tolerate uncertainty : There really are no guarantees about anything important in life. That’s the way it goes. We can’t know how things will turn out —neither our relationships nor our lives nor the fate of humanity. So if we are to construct a meaningful life, we have no choice other than to keep putting one foot in front of the other, doing our best to respond thoughtfully and to have an impact when and where we can, without knowing the outcome.

Strive to stay anchored in reality, not lost in feelings . When we let our feelings run the show, it’s easy to get spun up and reactive. While our feelings are a source of information, they are not reality. All sorts of things— our pasts, the distortions of social media, what people around us are doing and saying—can contribute to how we feel about a situation.

are, the better you can get through the hard stuff.

These principles overlap because they are all components of an approach to living that focuses on developing and maintaining agency over your life, and working to strengthen your resilience. The more solid you are, the better you can get through the hard stuff.

Strive to behave with integrity, in a way that you respect . You are likely to feel a lot better about yourself if you do what you believe is right, rather than betraying your values out of fear or to please others. The playwright Lillian Hellman, pressed to appear before the House Committee on Un-American Activities in 1952 and “name names,” said it well: “I cannot and will not cut my conscience to suit this year’s fashions.” (Of course, only you can decide how to balance possible consequences with the importance of honoring your principles.)

yourself

This

Stand up for what you believe in . Being quiet out of fear or concern for what others will think leaves us feeling like helpless victims. And you cannot have an intimate relationship when you don’t let your partner know important parts of who you are.

Strive to be non-reactive . Do your best to not let others (or circumstances) press your buttons so that you lash out, rather than responding thoughtfully and with deliberation, based on your values.

an intimate relationship when you don’t let . The philo-

mething is starting to make us crazy, the best first move we can make is to quiet ourselves. Doing

Strive to always soothe your anxiety sopher Viktor Frankl wrote: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” When someone or something is starting to make us crazy, the best first move we can make is to quiet ourselves. Doing so allows us to think how to best respond.

There’s a great saying from Twelve Step programs: “If you want to have self-esteem, behave in esteemable ways.” You are more likely to do so when you first calm yourself, rather than exploding with anxiety or rage.

tifying how we can deal with challenges and

Strive to tolerate discomfort : Sometimes we can’t do much about what is making us uncomfortable or causing us distress. Our partner may not change in ways we would like; our job situation may be rough; we may face hostility in the outside world. Identifying how we can deal with challenges and difficult circumstances in a way that helps us become stronger and more resilient can often help us to weather them

Yes, it’s always a good idea to be aware of our feelings. But before acting on them, calm yourself,

to keep the big picture in mind. Remember that you cannot at times be able to influence of

are Serving delicious vegetarian food for a dinner is more helpful. So think about how you can reach out to someone or to others in

Yes, it’s always a good idea to be aware of our feelings. But before acting on them, calm yourself, get some clarity about why you may be feeling what you’re feeling, and think about how reality lines up (or doesn’t line up) with what you’re feeling. In other words, aim to keep the big picture in mind. Remember that you cannot change others, but you may at times be able to influence them . For example, when I first became vegetarian, I wanted to push my friends to adopt a vegetarian diet by “enlightening” them about the misery of factory farms and the environmental cost of raising animals for food. I soon realized that lectures and judgment are not a great way to change minds. Serving delicious vegetarian food for a dinner is more helpful. So think about how you can reach out to someone or to others with different views, in a way that they are more likely to hear you.

There may be times when you aren’t going to be heard, no matter how you say what you have to say. The point at which we shift from reaching out do about a situation other person is doing wrong, or not doing.

Thinking you

would like, in your relationship or your community or our world, is an antidote to feeling powerless.

Obviously, there are limits to this approach. There may be times when you aren’t going to be heard, no matter how you say what you have to say. The point at which we shift from reaching out to someone to taking a “don’t tread on me” stance can be tricky to discern, and the decision to make that shift should be taken thoughtfully and with appreciation of possible consequences. Keep your focus mainly on what you can do about a situation . Focus less on what the other person is doing wrong, or not doing. While you have little or no power over others, you have a lot of power over yourself. Thinking about what you can do to effect at least some of the change you would like, in your relationship or your community or our world, is an antidote to feeling powerless.

(Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at  michaelradkowsky.com . All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have michael@michaelradkowsky.com.)

censed couples can be kowsky.com on has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to  michael@michaelradkowsky.com

Valentine’s Day brings a lot of extra stress; here are some principles to help you cope.

Ms. Dik’s

B-Day Show

Drag artists celebrate at Red Bear Brewing

Drag artist Desirée Dik hosted the program at ‘Ms. Dik’s B-Day Show!’ at Red Bear Brewing Co. on Friday. Performers included Auntie Heronie, Ana Mosity, Johnny Alucard and Millie Merengue.

(Washington Blade photos by Giuseppe LoPiccolo)

LIVE THE AMERICAN DREAM IN LEWES BEACH!

Built at the turn of the 20th century, this classic 6-bedroom beach house, just one block from the sands of the beautiful Delaware Bay, blends timeless charm with coastal elegance. Originally the vision of former Fire Marshal, William Walsh, this quintessential Lewes beach house has been tastefully upgraded and lovingly maintained for decades. Timeless Victorian aesthetic with crisp white trim and a charming wraparound front porch offers the perfect setting for savoring your morning coffee or a sunset cocktail. Inside, the home is a harmonious blend of nostalgia and comfort with original pine hardwood floors and thoughtfully curated coastal-chic finishes creating a classic, welcoming ambiance that instantly draws you in. The open living and dining area is bathed in natural light, and the gourmet kitchen is a chef’s dream, featuring stainless steel appliances, vintage wood countertops, and a rustic central island. This home features not one but TWO primary ensuites — one conveniently located on the first floor opposite an additional guest bedroom, and the other on the second floor for added privacy.

Step outside to a picturesque backyard garden patio, an ideal setting for al fresco dining, complete with water features & tasteful landscaping, plus an outdoor shower to rinse off after sun-soaked beach days. Modern conveniences abound, including central air conditioning, ample storage, and plenty of off-street parking with enough room for six cars! Spend your day soaking up the sun or embarking on a scenic biking adventure with this home’s prime location near the bike trail! Ride straight to Cape Henlopen State Park or Rehoboth Beach, then take a short stroll to experience the charming Downtown Lewes with its vibrant shopping & dining. Whether you're looking for a forever home, an idyllic vacation escape, or a rewarding investment, this is your opportunity to own a piece of Lewes history!

208 E. SAVANNAH ROAD | LEWES BEACH | MLS: DESU2076772 | $1,799,900

Surprising parallels between dating and house hunting

Both require patience, effort, and a clear idea of what you want

By VALERIE M. BLAKE

Valentine’s Day is often associated with romance, chocolates, and candlelit dinners. However, for eligible singles, this holiday can be about more than just relationships—it can also be the perfect time to invest in real estate.

Anyone who has been in the dating scene long knows that finding “the one” can be challenging. Whether you’re searching for love or the perfect home, there are surprising parallels between dating and house hunting. Both require patience, time, effort, and a clear idea of what you want.

Just like dating, home buying requires a well-thought-out list of must-haves and deal-breakers. Understanding your needs will help you find the perfect match, whether in love or real estate.

Are you looking for a cozy condo in the city, or do you prefer a suburban single-family home with a yard? Perhaps a renovated kitchen will spur you into cooking up the perfect recipe for love.

Do you want a fixer-upper to mold into your own vision? (Note: Molding to your idea of perfection works better with houses than with potential life mates.) What about being a landlord with a rental unit that can help with mortgage payments? Or, if you prefer,

keep it empty to house your beloved on the days you argue.

Does your taste run toward the bearded, Paul Bunyan look of a cabin in the woods surrounded by bears? Is the sleek, sophisticated high-rise more your style? And what about the Dad-bod style of a ’70s split level in the suburbs?

When dating, first impressions can be powerful, and so can the first look at a home. Curb appeal and initial feelings about a property are just as important as charm and chemistry in a relationship, but flaws may not be immediately noticeable.

Buying a home, like committing to a partner, is a long-term investment. Both require financial and emotional readiness. No one is perfect, and neither is any home. While you should aim for a place (or person) that meets most of your needs, be prepared to compromise.

Working with experts helps. Whether you’re seeking relationship advice from Patty Stanger or guidance from your favorite real estate agent or mortgage lender, professionals can make the process smoother and more successful.

Many people don’t realize that Valentine’s Day and the mid-winter in general can be an advantageous time to shop for real estate. Since many couples are preoccupied with romantic plans or skiing vacations, there are often fewer buyers in the market around this time. Less competition for buyers and higher motivation of sellers could give singles an edge in negotiations. You may find better prices or flexible terms.

If you’re ready to take the plunge, here are some key steps to ensure you find

Consider the value of financial and personal independence. Instead of waiting to be swept off your feet by Prince Charming, singles can take control of their future by investing in property independently and finding Home Charming instead. If you’re ready to take the plunge, here are some key steps to ensure you find the right home:

• Interview Find decision,

Work with a Real Estate Agent – Interview agents. Ask friends for recommendations. Find someone you like and trust. An experienced agent can help you navigate the market, negotiate offers, and find a home that matches your needs.

• Get Pre-Approved for a Mortgage – Knowing how much home you can afford is crucial. Talk to a lender and secure a pre-approval before you start your search.

• Narrow Down Your Location – Choose an area that fits your wallet and your lifestyle. Drive around. Get to know the area at night and on weekends. Check out nearby public transit and parking options. Try out your commute. Locate shopping areas, dining establishments, and other services you use regularly.

• Consider Future Needs – You may be single now but think about the future. If you plan to start a family or need a yard for a pet, factor that into your home-buying decision.

• Don’t Rush the Process – Just like finding the right partner, finding the right home takes time. Be patient and don’t settle for something that doesn’t feel right. It’s better to take your time than to end up with buyer’s remorse or, in the case of a rushed romantic decision, divorce.

So, instead of focusing on flowers that wilt and chocolates that don’t last this Valentine’s Day, why not fall in love with a home? Diving into the real estate market is a smart, long-term decision that offers stability, financial security, and a place you can truly call your own, making it one of the best gifts you can give yourself and the start of an exciting new chapter in

Valentine’s

financial security, and a place you can truly call your own, making it one of the best gifts you can give yourself and the start of an exciting new chapter in your life.

VALERIE M. BLAKE

is a licensed Associate Broker in D.C., Maryland, and Virginia with RLAH @properties. Call or text her at 202-246-8602, email her via www.DCHomeQuest.com, or follow her on Facebook at TheRealst8ofAffairs.

Valentine’s Day is often associated with romance, but it can also be the perfect time to invest in real estate.

MASSAGE

MASSAGE FOR MEN

Private studio near Rosslyn/ Courthouse, weekends (Fri-Mon), 12-9. Text Gary @ 301-704-1158 or visit www.mymassagebygary.com

BUYING JEWELRY/ESTATES

CASH FOR ESTATES

Moving? Downsizing? One item to Whole Estate? Gold Jewelry, Sterling Silver, Quality Glass, Some Furniture, Etc. TheAtticLLC.com

Gary Roman: 301-520-0755 CLEANING

FERNANDO’S CLEANING

Residential & Commercial Cleaning, Reasonable Rates, Free Estimates, Routine, 1-Time, Move-In/Move-Out 202-234-7050 or 202-486-6183

COUNSELING

COUNSELING FOR LGBTQ

People. Individual/Couples counseling with a volunteer peer counselor. GMCC, serving our community since 1973. 202-580-8661 gaymenscounseling.org  No fees. Donation requested.

HANDYMAN

BRITISH REMODELING

Local licensed company with over 25 years of experience. Specializing in bathrooms, kitchens & all interior/exterior repairs. Drywall, paint, electrical, wallpaper, roofing & siding. Trevor 703-303-8699

LEGAL SERVICES

ADOPTION, DONOR, SURROGACY

legal services. Catelyn represents LGBTQ clients in DC, MD & VA interested in adoption or ART matters.

MODERN FAMILY FORMATION

Law Offices, Slattery Law, LLC. 240-245-7765

Catelyn@ModernFamily Formation.com

LIMOUSINES

KASPER’S LIVERY SERVICE

Since 1987. Gay & Veteran Owner/Operator. Lincoln Nautilus! Proper DC License & Livery Insured. www.KasperLivery.com 202-554-2471

MEN FOR MEN

TALL, DECENT LOOKING,

White male ISO all-American looking white male, well-built & hung, ready to be a total slave for Daddy. You must behave, obey, and follow Daddy’s orders, or you will be punished. Interested? Call or text Daddy, 24 hours a day. Sincere replies only. 240-457-1292

Swedish, Massage or Deep Tissue. Appts. Low Rates, 24/7, In-Calls.

2025 NRT000001

Harry Carter Kelly, Name of Deceased Settlor NOTICE OF EXISTENCE OF REVOCABLE TRUST

Harry Carter Kelly whose address was 4225 Colorado Ave. NW, Washington, DC 20011 created a revocable trust on August 15, 1997, which remained in existence on the date of his death on 01/31/2024, and Bernice G. Kelly, whose address is 4225 Colorado Ave. NW, Washington, D.C. 20011 is the currently acting trustee, hereinafter the Trustee. Communications to the trust should be mailed or directed to c/o Miroslav Nikolov, Esq. at 7100 Columbia Gateway Drive, Suite 190, Columbia, MD 21046. The Trust is subject to claims of the deceased settlor’s creditors, costs of administration of the settlor’s estate, the expenses of the deceased settlor’s funeral and disposal of remains, and statutory allowances to a surviving spouse and children to the extent the deceased settlor’s residuary probate estate is inadequate to satisfy those claims, costs, expenses, and allowances.

Claims of the deceased settlor’s creditors are barred as against the Trustee and the trust property unless presented to the Trustee at the address provided herein on or before 7/31/2025 (6 months from the date of first publication of this notice). An action to contest the validity of this trust must be commenced by the earliest of (1) 1/31/2025 (one year from the date of the deceased settlor) or (2) 7/31/20225 (6 months from the date of first publication of this notice) or (3) ninety days after the Trustee sends the person a copy of the trust instrument and a notice informing the person of the trust’s existence, the Trustee’s name and address, and the time allowed for commencing a proceeding.

The Trustee may proceed to distribute the trust property in accordance with the terms of the trust before the expiration of the time within which an action must be commenced unless the Trustee knows of a pending judicial proceeding contesting the validity of the trust or the Trustee has received notice from a potential contestant who thereafter commences a judicial proceeding within sixty days after notification. This Notice must be mailed postmarked within 15 days of its first publication to each heir and qualified beneficiary of the trust and any other person who would be an interested person within the meaning of D.C. Code, sec. 20-101(d).

Date of first publication: January 31, 2025 /s/Bernice G. Kelly, Trustee, 443-393-7696

A True Test Copy /s/Nicole Stevens, Register of Wills.

LEGAL NOTICE

SUPERIOR COURT OF THE DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA PROBATE

DIVISION 2025ADM000010

Harry C. Carter aka Harry Carter Kelly, Name of Decedent

Miroslav Nikolov, 7100 Columbia Gateway Drive, Ste. 190, Columbia, MD 21046 Notice of Appointment, Notice to Creditors and Notice to Unknown Heirs

Bernice G. Kelly , whose address is 4225 Colorado Ave NW, Washington, D.C. 20011 was appointed Personal Representative of the estate of Harry C. Kelly aka Harry Carter Kelly who died on January 31, 2024 with a Will and will serve without Court supervision. All unknown heirs and heirs whose whereabouts are unknown shall enter their appearance in this proceeding. Objections to such appointment (or to the probate of decedent’s Will) shall be filed with the Register of Wills, D.C., Building A, 515 5th Street, N.W., 3rd Floor, Washington, D.C. 20001, on or before 8/14/2025. Claims against the decedent shall be presented to the undersigned with a copy to the Register of Wills or filed with the Register of Wills with a copy to the undersigned, on or before 8/14/2025 or be forever barred. Persons believed to be heirs or legatees of the decedent who do not receive a copy of this notice by mail within 25 days of its first publication shall so inform the Register of Wills, including name, address and relationship.

Date of first publication: February 14, 2025

/s/Bernice G. Kelly, Personal Representative, 202-291-5888

A True Test Copy /s/Nicole Stevens, Register of Wills.

2024 228i xDrive Gran Coupe*

Red Hot Deals for Your Valentine’s Day!

This Valentine’s Day, let love and luxury take the wheel at BMW of Fairfax!

2025 230i xDrive Coupe*

Whether you’re treating yourself or surprising a loved one, we’ve got the perfect red BMW to ignite your passion. From the iconic BMW 3 Series to the powerful BMW X5, our selection of stunning red cars is sure to steal your heart. Why settle for roses when you can drive in style? Our red BMWs combine heart-pounding performance with head-turning looks, making this Valentine’s Day unforgettable. And with exclusive offers just for you, there’s never been a better time to drive home in your dream car.

Special Valentine’s Day Offers:

• Attractive financing options

• Competitive trade-in values

• Personalized offers available for a limited time

Ready to turn heads and drive

your love into a new BMW?

Visit us at BMW of Fairfax today to test drive the perfect red car. Our team is excited to help you find the perfect match-your new BMW is waiting! Hurry, these offers won’t last forever. Fall in love with your next car today!

BMW of Fairfax

Your Dream Car Awaits!

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