The Child Advocate - November 2010

Child Advocate

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November 2010 Issue 2, Volume 19

Parenting:

Life’s Everyday Challenges

Contents

2010 Washington State PTA Legislative Assembly Results

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W ashington State PTA’s Legislative Assembly was held earlier this month. Local Unit, Council and Region Legislative Chairs and members gathered to set the Legislative platform for Washington State PTA. Following are the results: Issue Results (in order of votes received): 1. Following up on Education Reform Efforts (HB 2261, HB 2776, SB 6696) 2. Math and Science Education 3. Literacy Instruction 4. Teacher Reduction in Force 5. Fund Education First 6. New Model for Teacher Compensation 7. School Breakfast and Lunch Programs 8. Physical Education and Health

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Other Issues: s School Board Decision-Making – This issue was referred back to the Legislative Committee. s Standardized School Zone Signage – This issue was not supported by a majority of the delegates. s Safe Storage and Disposal of Prescription Drugs – This issue was not supported by a majority of the delegates.

Resolution: Increasing Revenue to Support our Legislative Principles (passed)

Child Advocate

a Washington State PTA parent involvement publication

Washington State PTA 2003 65th Avenue West Tacoma, WA 98466-6215 Website: www.wastatepta.org Email: wapta@wastatepta.org Phone: (253) 565-2153 or 1-800-562-3804 Fax: (253) 565-7753

Procrastination...Breaking the Habit

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Tips for Parents of Strong-Willed Kids

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Helping ALL Children Develop

Friendships

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Your Child’s Imagination

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May by the Washington State PTA, 2003 65th Avenue West, Tacoma, WA 984666215, (253) 565-2153. Contributors are welcome. Call the State PTA office for guidelines. Whenever PTA is used it also refers to PTSA. PTA is a registered trademark of the National Congress of Parents and Teachers.

Emerging Minority Leaders Conference: November 13, 2010 Focus Day: February 21, 2011 Convention: April 29-May 1, 2011 VISION:

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The Child Advocate is published online every month from September through

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The

Helping Students Plan for the Future

Scott Allen, Washington State PTA President Bill Williams, Washington State PTA Executive Director Karen Fisker-Andersen, Editor “Making every child’s potential a reality.”

MISSION:

PTA is: n A powerful voice for all children, n A relevant resource for families and communities, and n A strong advocate for the education and well-being of every child.

The Washington State PTA accomplishes the mission of PTA by

• Speaking on behalf of children and youth in the schools, in the community, and before governmental bodies and other organizations that make decisions affecting children; • Supporting parents* in developing skills to raise, protect and advocate for their children; • Encouraging parent*, teacher, student and community involvement; • Promoting opportunities for positive outcomes for children; and • Being a financially stable, well-managed organization that promotes diversity, provides quality service, models best practices and values its members and employees. *Parent may include adults who play an important role in a child’s family life since other adults (grandparents, aunts, uncles, or guardians) may carry the primary responsibility for a child’s health, welfare, education and safety.

Helping Students

Plan For the Future O

ne of the most important achievements a person can accomplish, regardless of her age, is a strong sense of direction for her life. We all know that fame and fortune doesn’t determine happiness. For students, getting good grades, being a talented athletic, or a gifted musician doesn’t necessarily translate into happiness or satisfaction either. A deep level of satisfaction is only obtained when a person is using her time and abilities in a way that brings value and meaning to her. This is true whether a person is still in school or in a career. A student who has a sense of meaningful direction is more motivated and is less likely to feel burnout because she knows that her efforts are worthwhile.

In addition, students who graduate from school without a sense of direction may feel extremely anxious about the future. They may be afraid to move on to the next phase of their lives—whether it’s college or the work world. This fear may lead to bad habits, such as negative self-talk,

The Child Advocate, November 2010

not pursuing interests or opportunities, or a general sense of hopelessness.

To help your child develop a sense of direction for his education and his life, parents can help their child develop a desire to become independent, an understanding of the value of meaningful work, and a clear sense of himself and what is important in his life.

Developing Independence A student’s first job experience is an important milestone in her life and a first step toward independence. She will learn that she has the ability to earn money and to decide what she wants to do with it. This small income may be what it takes to get her thinking about how, through hard work and careful planning, she can find work that is rewarding both financially and personally as well.

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Parents can help their children obtain their first jobs by: Explaining how to submit applications for jobs; showing your children the process for searching for jobs; helping develop their first resumes; giving them tips on job interviews; and helping your children through each step of their first job seeking experience.

Share Your Experiences s Talk to your students about what you like about your job. Why do you feel what you are doing is important? What benefits does your work have on the company or the mission of the organization? Your children need to hear you talking about the positive aspects of your job and why you do your best everyday. Be a positive role model for your children and remember that they are listening and learning from you all the time. If your only comments about work are negative, then your children may come to the conclusion that working cannot be worthwhile or meaningful beyond getting a paycheck. s Explain how your work allows you to provide for your family, or provide the extra’s that your family enjoys. Talk about how your work helps improve the lives of others or makes a difference in the world in some way. Be specific about why your job has meaning and value to you.

This will help your child as he thinks about his future and helps him think about a path that may fulfill a purpose that is important to him.

Helping Students Develop a Solid Direction for the Future Some students are so focused on seeking college scholarships, getting top grades, or winning awards that they never have time to really look for a direction that would give their life meaning. On the surface they seem to be happy and fulfilled, but until your students find a sense of direction to their lives, they don’t really experience a deep and lasting sense of satisfaction. Finding a sense of direction takes time and some purposeful reflection. Talk to your students about their future by helping them consider the following: s Evaluate interests. Talk to your student about what she enjoys doing.

Look at possible career options that might include her natural interests. Help your student to examine the job outlook of different career interests, as well as salary, location, lifestyle (i.e., traveling a lot, working weekends, etc.), possibilities for personal growth and satisfaction (i.e., a purpose, such as helping others).

November 13, 2010, 9:00-4:00 pm Tyee High School, Sea Tac $15.00 per person

s Examine possible purposes. What is important to your son? Does he want to help others? Make the world a better place for kids? Make a difference in medicine? Help underpriviledged people? Build things that people can use? Provide a service for people to enjoy? Help him figure out what might be meaningful to him. Remind him that a there should be more to life than just pursuing the next fun weekend or bringing home the next paycheck.

s Remind your children that work can at times be challenging. Sometimes you have to be willing to try something you’ve never done before and sometimes you make mistakes. Tell your children how you learn from those mistakes you’ve made at work. Explain that not every part of your job is your favorite part, but when you believe what you are doing is worthwhile, then doing even mundane tasks can be rewarding.

s Determine goals. Based on interests and purpose, help your student develop some concrete goals that she can work toward. Research paths to reach long-term goals. Determine the education, training, and experiences that are needed to reach the goals they have. s Make short-term plans. Get the grades and experience that will allow them to go proceed according to their plans and pursue the careers of their choosing.

Take these important steps with your children to help them find a direction and meaning to their lives. Without direction, students don’t plan for the future, they are not motivated to try as hard, and they get easily discouraged with setbacks. Students with well-formed goals, interests, and a sense of direction are usually more self-confident, optimistic and resilient. n

The purpose of the conference is to: • Empower parents/guardians to advocate for their children • Identify leadership qualities that you already have to advocate for your children at home, school and in your community • Identify strategies for Washington State PTA to ensure that our membership and leadership reflect the student population that we serve Registration information is available at: www.wastatepta.org.

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Procrastination...

Breaking the Habit Icrastination, f your child struggles with prothere are some things you can do to help your child break this bad habit and replace it with good work habits.

First, establish clear household rules about when students can have freetime. For example, homework and chores have to be completed before TV, computer time or fun with friends.

If your child struggles with getting up in the morning or getting ready for school on-time, then another rule may be added: If you can’t get up and ready on-time, then you have to go to bed earlier (and miss out on that special TV program, or time Facebooking their friends, etc.)

Sometimes there is a more specific cause of the procrastination. If your child is struggling academically, then offer to help him or make an appointment for your child to get extra help from his teacher before or after class if this is available.

Encouraging Good Study Habits at Your Home Set aside a specific time and place for your student to do homework.

Encourage her to make a list of all the things she needs to do and check things off that list as she completes them. Encourage your child to do the most difficult tasks first, when she has the most energy.

If your child doesn’t know how to start a project, encourage him to break the project down into smaller tasks. Work backward from the deadline date and assign mini-deadlines for each of the smaller tasks. For example, reading and research is due a month before the final deadline, outline is due three weeks before the final deadline, first draft is due two weeks before the final deadline, visual aids to go with the project are due one week before the final deadline, etc.

Allow your child to take a study break, have a snack or check her texts or emails after she’s completed a difficult assignment and before she starts the next one. Limit the amount of time of study breaks by encouraging your student to set a timer or alarm.

Take advantage of the time of day your child naturally works best. Also be aware of your child’s primary learning style. If your child is an auditory learner, encourage him to study aloud. If your child is a kinesthetic

The Child Advocate, November 2010

learner, allow him to move around as he studies. If your child is a visual learner, reading and looking at graphs and pictures may be especially helpful.

When Children Sabotage Their Own Work Children with perfectionist tendencies may procrastinate because they are afraid that their work won’t be perfect or they can’t figure out a perfect approach. Help them understand there is more than one “best” topic to choose for a project and more than one way to approach it.

They simply need to make a decision and stick to it. As they are working, help them to compare their work with the requirements provided by the teacher, so they can make sure that each of those requirements are fulfilled.

Other children may fear that if they do well on a project or test that the teacher may expect them to do well on all projects or tests. They may be afraid that any success may increase their workload or that they will have to do more difficult assignments. If this is the case, help your children see that as they become more capable, they will naturally build on those successes and be able to do more things, but no one expects them to be perfect.

If you suspect that fear may be causing your children to stumble at school, talk to them about their fears. n

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Tips for Parents of Strong-Willed Kids with no options, and keep order through punishment, intimidation.

Strong-willed children often rebel against rules set with this type of parenting approach.

Permissive parents typically are without clear boundaries or are somewhat vague on consequences and often try to keep order by reasoning with their children. Strongwilled children often ignore the rules set by permissive parents.

Authoritative parents are able to blend rules with natural consequences. They provide children with a limited amount of acceptable choices, but are firm on consequences. This type of parenting respects a child’s wish to make choices, yet is firm and consistent, and is the best approach with strong-willed children.

Itofmaintain you have a strong-willed child, you know how difficult it can be discipline in your home. The good news is that with some thoughtful parenting that strong-will may become your child’s greatest strength. Strong-willed children are generally more persistent, resilient, resourceful and when guided by loving parents, are often very successful members of our society.

Although every child is different, generally strong-willed children will test the limits of household rules. Parents of strong-willed children need to be ready to form boundaries for behavior, set consequences for going beyond those limits, and be ready to enforce those consequences repeatedly.

Not all strong-willed children are the same. Some are highly dramatic and energetic, others are more introverted and mild. The thing they all have in common is an extraordinary determination in some or all circumstances to do things their way despite rules, obstacles or stated consequences.

Strong-willed children will generally test the limits and parents need to be prepared for this. Some tips for parents of strong-willed children: s Provide two or three acceptable choices for your children. This will help them cooperate with your rules as they will have some say in the decisions that are being made about them. s Be clear on the consequences of going out of boundaries and make sure your children are aware of these consequences. Some consequences might include: time out, removal of privileges, etc, Consequences should be natural consistent and immediate, such as if a child watches TV before finishing homework, a consequence might be the loss of TV privileges for a few days. s When parents are enforcing their rules, it’s best done without yelling or drama. Simply state the rule and the decided on consequence and keep a calm tone of voice when you follow through with the natural consequence of their actions.

Pay Attention to Your Parenting Style There are three main types of parenting styles: authoritarian, permissive and authoritative. Authoritarian parents tend to be firm, but harsh

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Setting Limits and Consequences

s Once the requirements of the consequences has been met, parents should put that misbehavior behind them and not constantly bring it up with their children. n

a Washington State PTA parent involvement magazine

Helping ALL Children Develop Friendships F riendships provide children with a sense of belonging and acceptance.

Friends help each other learn to communicate, solve problems, compromise and get along with others.

Unfortunately not all kids find making friends easy. Socially-challenged children may be shy, highly energetic, impulsive, awkward, or aggressive, but whatever the reason for their difficulty, they need friends too and with a little help they can develop meaningful and genuine relationships with their peers as well. Parents can help their socially-challenged children by: s Accept your child for who she is. No matter what your child’s disposition, she should always feel like a treasured part of your family and loved for the person she is. Every unique character trait has strengths, help her find her strenths and help her feel good about herself. s Have children to your home for play dates. It’s best for socially-challenged children to have one child at a time. Be available and help your children develop communication skills, and learn to share and play fairly. s Read books with your children in which the characters are learning

The Child Advocate, November 2010

to make friends or work through friendship issues. s Teach your children to listen and not interrupt, to share with others, to treat others how they would like to be treated, and to think about how another person might be feeling. Encourage children to take interests in others, show concern for others, and to speak kindly to others. Some children need to be reminded that people don’t criticize their friends, act like they know everything, or are better than their friends in some way. s Encourage your children to contribute ideas to the play, but not direct the other children, or to do anything that may be misinterpreted as physically threatening. This is especially important for children who may be naturally a little impulsive or aggressive, or just physically bigger than other children their age. s Help your children develop hobbies or interests. Encourage your children to enroll in a sports team, or a scouting group. Sometimes this may help your children find friends with common interests. s Finally, be patient. Don’t give up on your child. He can learn to develop friendships with enough opportunities and practice. Sometimes it is just finding the right child that connects with your child. n

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Your Child’s Imagination: I

magination encourages creative thinking. It is a critical life skill that is initially sparked in young children, and grows naturally through creative playtime, quiet downtime, and free time in the outdoors. It is not something that can be taught, but is vitally important skill in problem solving, forming opinions, and creating new ideas. Children are naturally curious, but when they are over-scheduled to a point that they don’t have time to creatively think and play using their imagination, opportunities are lost for extending their imagination. Following are some ideas to encourage your child’s imagination:

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Play music in your home. Expose your children to classical music as

music that you would normally listen to. Some children may want to Washington State PTAwellConvention

pretend to be ballerinas, others might want to be musicians and create some

Seattle Airport Doubletree Hotel instruments to play along. Older kids may have fun trying to figure out what

of instruments are playing in various parts of the piece or may try to April 29-May 1,kind2011 dream up a story that fits with the progression of the piece.

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• Make a creative corner at your house that is equipped with art supplies.

Kids can paint and use other mediums to create and draw pieces of original artwork.

• Read stories with your children.Convention Have fun acting the stories out. EnWashington State PTA courage your children to write a sequel to the story they just read or listened

Seattle Airport Doubletree Hotel to or think of an alternate ending. Create your own story by creating a line

and having your child create the next line and so on until the story includes a April 29-May 1, 2011 problem that is solved with a clear beginning, middle and end.

Newly elected PTA board members should attend for a seamless transition for your• new leadership.

Allow your children an open-ended period to enjoy unstructured play.

Be available to your children if they would like you to play along with them.

Let themTraining direct the play.

Leadership • Classes

Inspiring Keynote Speakers

Provide wooden blocks, dress up clothes, a sandbox, play dough and other toys to encourage your children’s imagination and creativity.

• Enjoy the outdoors with your children. Hiking, biking, walking, fishing, and pretty much any outdoor adventure can help spur a young person’s imagination.

Newly elected PTAn board members should attend

for a seamless transition for your new leadership.

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Washington New Ideas for State PTA Fundraisers Convention

Time to Bond Inspiring Keynote as a Team Speakers

Leadership Training Classes New Ideas for Your PTA

April 29-May 1 Seattle Early Airport Bird Registration is $150 (3 days) and late registration is $190.

Doubletree FeeHotel includes all materials. Fee does not include meals or housing.

Time to Bond New Ideas for asbuild a Team Join us for leadership training and to your local unit Fundraisers leadership team for the upcoming year! On-line registration available in late winter on the WSPTA website.

New Ideas for Your PTA

a Washington State parent involvement Early Bird Registration is $150 (3 days) PTA and late registration is $190.

Fee includes all materials. Fee does not include meals or housing.

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